All language subtitles for The.Last.of.Mrs.Cheyney.1937.1080p.WEB-DL.DD2.0.H.264-SbR

* For he's a jolly good fellow *

* For he's a jolly good fellow *

* For.. **

Oh!

- Ah!
- Get out of my room.

Yes, of course.
I'm sorry.

- I-I-I--
- Get off my bed.

Well, I think
that this is my room.

- This is suite 137 on A deck.
- Yes, quite.

Well, so you see,
you're mistaken.

No, no, I think you're mistaken.

- Uh, this is my suite.
- Well, really, I--

Are you sure that
your suite is number 137?

Positive.
I never forget numbers.

Why don't you look
at your ticket?

Yes, certainly, I..

'I have..'

'There.'

"Suite 137.."

'On A deck.'

What a stupid blunder
for them to make

giving us both the same suite.

I don't wish to appear
a nuisance but, uh

could we take a cursory glance
at your ticket?

Of course, if you wish.
It's in my fur coat.

Oh, perhaps they put it
in the wardrobe.

- Do you mind?
- Oh, certainly not.

Oh, my goodness.
Are those your clothes?

Uh, yes. These are my clothes.

And, uh..

...this is my luggage.

What do you suppose
they've done with mine?

May I suggest that you find out
what suite the purser thinks

you're in and probably that
would be the suite you're in.

What number did you say this is?

137 on A deck.

- Oh, my goodness.
- What?

- I'm in the wrong suite.
- Yeah, it is. Quite.

- I'm in 173.
- Oh, 173. That's funny.

You see I was up on the sundeck

and, well, one gets so sleepy
the first day out.

I could barely stagger down
to my..

- I mean to your bed.
- Oh!

I'm afraid I've been very rude.

Oh, no, no, please.
Don't mention it.

I.. Is there anything
that I could do?

Oh, no, nothing.
Nothing. Thank you.

Uh, well, I can't just
get up and go, you know?

Uh..

Oh, no?

No.

Oh, yes, of course.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, of course.

Well, just take your time
and I'll, uh

I'll go for short stroll.

Thank you so much.
And I'm so sorry.

Oh, don't mention it.
Oh, I say--

'Don't come in.'

Well, I'm in the bathroom.

'I don't mind.
I shall be two seconds.'

Oh, well.

I say, Francis, I..

Oh!

Oh, I beg your pardon.
I must be in the wrong cabin.

I don't think you are.

- May I?
- Thank you.

- Excuse me.
- Oh, I'm so sorry.

I didn't quite hear what you..

- Excuse me, please.
- Uh..

Uh..

Uh, what are you doing here?

Oh, I, I don't quite know.

Well, I..
It's this..

I know, of course, this must
all seem rather peculiar.

- No, no, no. Far from it.
- What do you mean far from it?

Of course, it's peculiar.
That lady was in my cabin.

Yes, obviously.

Don't stand there looking more

'like a Cheshire cat
than you actually are.'

Don't try to change the subject.

Your friend left
her handkerchief.

You're a fool, Dilling.

I'm willing to discuss that
with you later.

However, I'll go this far.
You're no fool.

She's very charming.

Oh, well, now look here, Dilling

it's-it's simply
a misunderstanding.

Willie, you ought
to be ashamed of yourself.

You know perfectly well
that Lord Kelton

is one of the most
respectable man in England.

- I didn't say a word.
- I know.

But your expression,
it's positively revolting.

- Cads, both of you.
- I say, who was the lady?

- How do I know?
- I-I think I'll find out.

Willie, I'm shocked.
A married man.

I'll go with you so that
you won't get in any scrapes.

No, you don't.
I thought of it first.

- I saw her first.
- Yes.

That's all very well
to say you..

Um, could you give me some
information about a passenger?

Will you tell me
the passenger's name, sir?

No, no, no, that's what
I want you to tell me.

Will you describe
the passenger, sir?

Well, let me see.
She' uh..

Uh, I couldn't tell you the
color of her hair, or her eyes.

I, I couldn't even describe you
the clothes she wore.

She's, uh..
She's, uh..

If you don't mean the lady
with that, uh..

...well, uh, that look.

And she has a way
of walking that's rather..

How should one say?
Uh, rather..

- Rather--
- Yes, yes, yes. Who is she?

Uh, Mrs. Cheyney, sir,
a Mrs. Fay Cheyney.

- Oh, missus.
- I'm sorry, sir.

No, no, I'm sorry.
Do go on.

What else do you wish
to know, sir?

Well, just break down
and pour forth.

She's an American, a widow,
uh, travelling alone

has seven or eight trunks,
no pets.

Birds, cats and dogs. Things
like that, you know, sir.

- No, don't stop.
- She has a deluxe suite.

Will be 27 next September.

And comes from Minneapolis,
uh, Minnesota.

And you are the fifth gentleman
who's asked about her

in the last two hours.

What do you know about me?

You are the airman,
Lord Dilling, who flew

from Singapore to Honolulu
in 37 hours and 14 minutes.

And now returning home to
England with a party of friends.

Good man.

You were sued for breach
of promise in New York

by a young lady who you met
in the Fifth Avenue bus--

That's quite enough.
Thank you very much.

I don't wanna know
too much about myself.

This Cheyney,
she sounds interesting, huh?

Interesting is much too mild
a word, I think I shall

go and find her, and kiss her.

Yes, I think I will too.

Kelton was right.
You are a cad. I'm..

Well, where on earth
have you been?

Oh, hello, darling. I've been
looking for you everywhere.

Oh, you've got the trunk keys.

Have I?
Oh, yes, so I have.

Willie, you don't
seem to understand.

Kitty wants you to go
and unpack.

- Yes.
- Well, what's the hurry?

Let's look around for a bit.

I studied
the passenger list carefully

and there's nothing worthwhile
looking around at.

Well, let's go on the deck
and let them look at us.

Willie, you heard what I said?

Arthur, while he's unpacking,
will you take me

for a stroll around the deck?

Oh, uh..

Yes, I shall be delighted.

Do him good.

Willie, mind you've got
all the things unpacked

by the I come in.

- Alright, darling.
- Yes.

- Won't you allow me?
- Oh, thank you, very much.

- Ooh!
- Oh, what is it?

Oh, I burned myself. It's
nothing, I mean, uh, nothing.

- I'm sorry.
- Are you really?

You travelling alone?

- I hope so.
- Oh!

Of course, if I could be
of any service to you--

Thank you, no. I'm sorry
you burnt your finger.

In a way,
I'm glad I burnt myself.

Otherwise,
I shouldn't have a chance

to talk to you and to warn you.

Warn me? About what?

It's about this fellow
I'm travelling with.

You may have noticed him
when you left the cabin.

Vaguely.

His name is Dilling,
Lord Arthur Dilling.

He's a bit of a philanderer
if you know what I mean.

- Says he's gonna kiss you.
- What?

Oh, I know jolly well
you're not that type.

But he's a tricky sort of devil.

Always kissing the last person
you would expect.

Aren't you being
rather impertinent?

I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to be.

I only talked to you 'cause
I realized you were one of us

and all that sort of thing.

- Thank you.
- Oh, not at all.

You see, now that I've injured
myself in your service

so to speak, I do feel
we've formed the basis

of a real
and lasting friendship.

Isn't that splendid?

Oh!

Excuse me.

I should have thought he'd been
back sometime ago. I..

Oh, haven't you unpacked yet?

- No, I haven't.
- You're gonna catch it.

- 'Willie.'
- Yes, my love.

'What have you been doing?'

I bet you three to one,
you don't make her grade.

Done, name the amount.

Thirty pounds to ten.

My dear fellow,
it's child's play.

See you at dinner, Dilling.

Mrs. Cheyney, I believe.

- Yes.
- Mrs. Fay Cheyney?

- Yes, why do you ask?
- I met your husband once.

Uh, years and years ago,
of course.

Seemed a vital sort of chap.

He, uh, he asked me
if I ever was in America

to look him up.

Where did you meet my husband?

It was in London, yes, in London

at the, uh, at the, uh,
at the races.

Ascot Gold Cup,
if I remember correctly--

It may interest you
to know that my husband

never left The United States.

Oh! May I call you Fay?

Lord Dilling,
if you don't leave me at once

I shall call the steward.

I'd be delighted
if you'd call me Arthur.

I beg your pardon. I presume
you know this young man.

Uh, yes, I know him.

Then will you be good enough
to tell him to leave me alone?

To leave..
Well, I sh..

I quite understand.
My arm.

Thank you.

Well, I'm frightfully sorry,
you see he's a sort of

a vague relation of mine by
marriage and I'm afraid he, uh

he misconstrued things somewhat.

- Misconstrued?
- Yes.

I don't think
I quite understand.

Oh, well, of course,
you wouldn't, dear lady.

- You're much too innocent.
- Innocent?

Now, it's become
even more involved.

Well, you see, he, uh,
he did sort of see you

coming out of my cabin
as it were.

- Oh, I see.
- Oh.

But everything can be explained.

There's nothing to explain.

Yes, well, that's just it,
you see. There you are.

It's-it's so awkward, isn't it?

Oh, I do hope
I haven't embarrassed

you with your friends.

Oh, no, not at all, dear lady.

I'm thinking entirely
of your reputation.

Perhaps, if you met Lady Wynton

it would sort of blow
the clouds away as it were.

- Lady Wynton?
- Uh, yes.

Oh, charming woman, Kitty,
member of our party.

- Oh!
- I'm sure you'd be great chums.

And now, if you'll do us
the honor of dining with us

tonight, I'll call for you
about 8:00.

- Oh, really, I couldn't.
- Oh, it is alright.

I'll just introduce you
as Miss, uh..

- Mrs. Cheyney.
- Oh, uh, Mrs. Cheyney?

Well, from, uh..
Whom I met in, uh..

- Minneapolis.
- Minneapolis.

- Minnesota.
- Minnesota? Well, which is it?

- Minnesota.
- Oh, Minnesota.

Oh, well, there you are.

I think, you're
wonderfully kind, Mister..

- Lord Kelton.
- Oh, Lord Kelton.

And I'll do this
if only to please you.

Oh, my dear, Mrs. Cheyney.
You overwhelm me.

Good evening.
This way, ma'am.

Oh, there's Francis now.

He's got a woman with him.

- Who on earth?
- And a very stunning one too.

Well, I must say,
I don't like her frock.

Oh, hello, this is delightful.

I find my dear friend,
Mrs. Cheyney, whom I met in, uh

Minnesota, is traveling alone
so I asked her to join us.

- Oh, how nice.
- Lady Wynton. Mrs. Cheyney.

- How do you do?
- How do you do?

This is my cousin,
John Claiborne. Mrs. Cheyney.

- John.
- How do you do?

Uh, Mrs. Cheyney, won't you
come and sit by me?

No, no, no, you're to
sit here by me.

Oh, I do hope, Lady Wynton,
I'm not intruding.

Oh, my dear, Mrs. Cheyney,
you're a bloody Godsend.

Think of me, a lone woman
with four dreadful men.

No, not too dreadful, I hope.

Well, I didn't mean you,
darling.

Cousin John has been traveling
with us for his health.

- It's my chest?
- Oh, really?

- Shall we, uh, begin?
- Oh, yes.

My dear, what a lovelyfrock.
Where did you get it?

- Madame Natalie.
- Oh!

And tell me, uh,
where did you two meet?

- Um, my, uh, my husband..
- Oh, yes, yes, of course.

Uh, good old Cheyney.

Are you staying in London long?

- Yes, I'm taking a house.
- Oh, that's very nice.

- Uh, am I late?
- Oh, Willie.

Uh, this is my husband, Sir
William Wynton. Mrs. Cheyney.

- How do you do?
- How do you do?

- This is a pleasant surprise.
- Go on, darling.

Sit down, sit down.
Don't hang about there.

Arthur, we have a charming
addition to the party.

This is Lord Dilling.
Mrs. Cheyney.

Charmed, uh, Cheyney?
Cheyney, uh, Minneapolis?

Uh, Minnesota.

- Ah.
- How interesting!

- I knew your husband.
- 'And so did Francis.'

It's is small world, isn't it?

Charming fellow,
wasn't he, Francis?

Uh, who?
Uh, oh, uh, Cheyney?

Yes, he was delightful.

Be a privilege
to be of service to you

when you get to London,
Mrs. Cheyney.

Lord Kelton
has already volunteered.

Oh, has he?

What's the..

To the victor
belongs the spoils.

- What's that?
- What is what, my love?

Oh, why's Arthur
giving you ten pounds?

- Well--
- Tell Kitty, Willie.

- Oh, you see, he, uh--
- No, no, no.

- Don't be frightened.
- You've been gambling again?

'Well, sort of,
if you know what I mean?'

Cards, I suppose, well,
you promised me you weren't

going to gamble, and so
I'm gonna take the money.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Kitty.
Forgive me, Willie.

Uh, I need a drink.

Yes, that's a good idea.

Let's have toast
to Mrs. Cheyney.

May she be very happy
in our gallant little island.

And forgive us,
our fogs, and our rains.

You're not very patriotic,
are you, Lord Dilling?

On the contrary,
I love my native heath.

But I've met many women
that I would rather die for

than live with.

And that's how it is
with England and me.

- 'Seventeen.'
- 'Eighteen.'

Nineteen pounds.

Nineteen pounds for this
delightful English lady.

This, uh, jewel in the diadem
of English society.

This, um, devoted wife.
This splendid horsewoman.

This excellent bridge player.
This, uh..

You know, it's really like me.

Yeah, all except the eyelashes.

This is as far as I'll go.

Going, going, gone at 19 pounds.

Cousin John, you're a darling.
I really must kiss you.

Beautiful, how devoted
Kitty is to her cousin?

Oh, rather she feels
that way about all of 'em.

I say, um, Kitty,
I, I haven't got 19 pounds.

- I wonder, if you could--
- Well, of course, darling.

And now,
we come to the final lot.

It happens to be Mrs. Cheyney.

How can I describe it? Shall we
call her an undesirable alien?

No, you mustn't say..

Well, anyway, my friends,
I'm going to let her go cheap.

- Now, please, a bid?
- Three pounds.

- Uh, five.
- Seven pounds.

- 'Ten.'
- 'Twelve pounds.'

Willie, don't be idiotic.
You can't outbid Francis.

'Now any advance on 12 pounds?'

Uh, 13.

Milord, you're wanted
on the telephone.

Uh, don't bother me.

Uh, uh, 15.

- It's very urgent, Milord--
- I'm busy, now, I don't..

Well, your house
is on fire, Milord.

I, uh, fire!

I mean, I, uh, 20.
I'll be, uh, back.

'Remember, ladies and gentlemen,
this is your last chance'

'to assist
the Duchess of Ebley..'

Yeah, uh, hello?

Any advance on 20?

No advance on Lord Kelton's
bid of 20?

For the last time,
any advance on 20?

- Going, going--
- Uh, 25.

- Oh, well..
- 'Thank you.'

No higher offer?
Twenty five, gone.

Here, I-I bid.
I-I'm bidding 20, uh..

- Oh, I-it's gone, Milord.
- Gone? What do you mean gone?

Uh, this lot was just sold
to Lord Dilling for 25 pounds.

Lord Dilling? I..

Who said I was wanted
on the telephone?

Lord Dilling, Milord.

Oh, Lord Dilling, Milord.
Well, I..

Oh, what is the total, Charles?

Uh, 782 pounds, madam.

Seven hundred
and eighty two pounds.

Shall I have the checks
made out to the charity fund

or to the Duchess of Ebley?

Oh, to me, my dear.

Well, I think
it's too amazing for words.

Charles, will you give Lady
Wynton to Mr. John Claiborne

and, uh, Lady Fenton
to Sir Cecil

and Lord Dilling to, uh..

Oh, I'm so sorry,
but I've forgotten the name.

He's mine. I have a-a taste
for knickknacks.

Thank you.

Sir William goes to Lady Wynton.

Uh, you needn't bother giving me
Mrs. Cheyney, Charles.

I'll take her myself.

- Excuse me. Yes, duchess?
- I'm beginning to like you.

- Well, that's very kind of you.
- Surprised myself.

Lord Dilling is my nephew,
you know.

- Yes, I know.
- Charming fool.

People he likes
I usually loathe.

I don't loathe you though.

Spend a weekend with me,
will you?

- Alone?
- Oh, what a thought!

Must try it sometime.

Why I never had less
than a dozen people

at Ebley Manor in my life?

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

And thank you, duchess.
I'd love to come.

- Goodbye, Mrs. Cheyney.
- Goodbye.

- 'I say, Arthur?'
- My dear aunt.

- That Mrs. Cheyney..
- Yes, yes, yes.

Endurable person.
Absolutely endurable.

I'm so glad
she doesn't make you ill.

- Don't marry her, will you?
- I promise.

- She's much too good for you.
- I'm sure of that.

- Can I give you a lift?
- No, thank you.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

- Goodbye, Mrs. Cheyney.
- Goodbye.

Well, my dear,
you've captivated everybody.

I'm simply basking
in reflected glory

of having taken you
under my wing.

You're very sweet.

Oh, Mrs. Cheyney,
don't forget you promised

to let me show you
the British museums.

- No, I won't forget.
- Go and get my coat.

- Will you, Cousin John?
- Oh, yes, dear, yes.

I suppose the duchess asked you

down to the country
for the weekend.

- Yes, wasn't it nice of her?
- Good.

- We are going too.
- Really?

- Oh, I'd say, uh, you know--
- Oh, by the way, how careless.

Oh, she forgot to ask
Cousin John. I must tell her.

Oh, darling,
you've got so many cousins

people get tired
of inviting them everywhere.

Don't let him tease you, Kitty.

I'm sure they're all very nice.

Goodbye, Mrs. Cheyney.

Shall I, uh..

No, that would
be alright, Charles.

- Oh, Charles.
- Yes, Milord.

I can't help thinking that
I've seen you somewhere before.

- Indeed, Milord.
- Yes, where have we met?

- We have never met, Milord.
- No, I'm sure we have.

I was educa..
Uh..

I was at Oxford.

I passed through Oxford
once on a train, Milord.

Your manners suggest that
you might have stopped off

and stayed there for some years.

I had no idea Oxford had
a school for butlers, Milord.

Mrs. Cheyney seems
to have a very high

regard for you, Charles.

Now, I've served the family
a long time, Milord.

Then you must know Mrs.
Cheyney's likes and dislikes.

Her whims and her caprices.

A good servant, Milord,
always tries

to sense the mood
of his employer.

Then tell me,
what does she think of all this?

- All this, Milord?
- Yes. London.

Her new friends.

Myself, for instance.

I couldn't say, Milord.

Mrs. Cheyney would
never think of discussing

her private affairs
with servants.

Yes.

I accept the rebuke, Charles.

There was none meant, Milord.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye, Mrs. Cheyney.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

George, where's Charles?

Uh, he was here a minute ago,
madam. Shall I..

No, never mind.
I'll find him. Charles?

'I disagree.'

'That's why
you're so utterly wrong.'

'No woman could
be entirely indifferent'

'to a man
she's consistently rude to.'

Oh, yes, you have been.

However, I'm willing to let

bygones be bygones if you are.

I see, so we're back
in the nursery, are we?

You know, that's the sweetest
thing you ever said to me.

It's the kind of thing
I might have said myself.

I can't kiss you here,
my darling.

There are too many people about,
however..

- You wish to see me, madam.
- It isn't important.

I'll ring for you, Charles.

You know, darling,
you've been seeing a good deal

of that fellow, Kelton lately.

No, no, now don't explain.

After all, you are human.

And Kelton is very devoted.

Very, shall we say, uh, solid.

And above all, fabulously rich.

'Alright, let's hear
the rest of it.'

And he is over 50.

Any insurance company
statistician

would call him dead already.

Perhaps that's one
of his attractions.

I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

I do hope I haven't said
anything to embarrass you.

- Your chauffeur's here, Milord.
- Is he?

Well, it's a lovely day.
Tell him to wait.

Yes, Milord.

I called you up
five times this week

and each time,
I was told you were out.

- What a shame!
- Were you out?

- No, each time I was in.
- I thought so.

Twice I answered the telephone
myself and told you I was out.

- May I ask why?
- Certainly.

I don't care to be alone
with you even on the telephone.

Why not?

It's my only way of paying
tribute to your reputation.

Don't tell me it frightens you.

You have the great distinction,
Arthur, dear, of being

one of the few men in the world
I am not frightened of.

- And I feel I ought to be.
- Really?

I've been told you've kept
more married men at home

than any other man
of modern times.

I see. Have you
quite finished with me?

No, not quite.

You know,
you're not bad-looking.

You're exquisitely indifferent,
even rude to people.

A great sense of humor,
brilliant, and, uh--

What else?

That's the trouble,
nothing else.

Tell me, did you learn the art
of rebuking people so charmingly

from your butler,
or did he learn it from you?

- I wonder.
- You know, I like that fellow.

- You mean my butler?
- Yes, I like his insolence.

- He was rude to you?
- Oh, the reverse.

I've often been told to go
to blazes but never quite

so pleasantly as he told me
a few minutes ago.

Well, I expect Charles
feels the same as I do.

If there are to be insults,
let us get them in first.

Meaning?

That during the short time
you've known me, Arthur, dear

you've made me practically every
proposal a man can make a woman

with the exception of one,
marriage.

You appear to have
a rather low opinion of me.

Well, shall we say, I haven't
a very high one of you.

- Really?
- Have you of yourself?

- Not at the moment, no.
- Well, then, there's hope.

I want you to like me.
You must like me.

- What can I do about it?
- Heaps.

For instance?

Live up to the reputation
you have

for possessing a sense of humor.

Go on.

Stop living on the glory
of your ancestors.

Anything else?

And tell me exactly
why you remained here

today after the others had gone?

Because I wanted to be alone
with you.

And to tell you
that you're the most

attractive woman I ever knew.

If that went well,
then I propose

to suggest a little dinner
at my flat.

Mmm, I see, and, uh,
if that went well?

Then I'd be experienced enough
not to say another word

until after the dessert.

However, in the future,
I shan't dream of asking you

to dine with me
without a couple of bishops.

But why, Arthur?

'Cause I feel
that I've been talking

to an entirely good woman.

It almost makes one
resolve to be one.

- Aren't you a good woman?
- Um, not very.

Then what the devil
do you mean by lecturing me?

There's more than one way of not
being a good woman, Arthur.

- Explain that.
- It would take too long.

I insist upon knowing whether
you're a good woman or not.

Why do you wanna know?

Because I'd feel such a fool
if you weren't.

I am.

But still willing to throw
yourself at a man like Kelton.

Arthur, dear, will you
please ring the bell?

Certainly.

What for?

Charles knows where your hat is.

Oh!

Do you mind?

You don't drink with your meals,
do you?

Certainly I do.
Why do you ask?

'You drink so much
between them.'

Oh, I, uh..

- May I fix you one?
- Thank you.

But you know I don't drink.

'Will you have a cigarette?'

And you know I don't smoke.

I suppose you'll despise me
if I finish this.

No, I should like you
all the more

if you didn't, that's all.

I may be a teetotaler
in your presence

but I have a feeling that I am
going to get very drunk tonight.

- Are you angry, Arthur?
- No, just defeated.

That's a new experience
for you, isn't it?

You didn't mean all those things
you said to me just now.

I like you so much. Every one.

What does that mean?

My complete
and absolute respect.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

Thank you, Charles.

My blasted feet ache.

Oh, it's alright for you,
dressed up like a mannequin

ordering us all over the place.

What luck?

She got the invite.
Next weekend.

- I heard the old girl ask her.
- Nice going, Fay.

This thing's driving me balmy.

This time, next week,
I shall be taking it easy

on the deck of a boat with
the snout pointed for Canada.

Right here in England suits me.

Follow the races
and live like a lord.

Thirty five thousand quid
split 5 ways, not bad.

- When do you blow, Fay?
- Blow where?

- Well, George said you got--
- The invitation? That's right.

It doesn't mean
I have to accept it.

I haven't decided yet.

What?

What a pretty lot
of pets you look.

What did you say
about not going through?

I said I haven't decided yet.

Look here, my girl,
we pitched in every quid we got

from that last haul to rent
this house, to buy you clothes

'to send you on that ocean trip
so don't pull anything'

'about you haven't decided.'

- What is all this?
- She wants to cry off.

I was just about to tell her
where she stands.

You see, Charles, the idea
of persuading perfectly

charming people into inviting
you into their house

for the purpose of robbing them
isn't pleasing to me.

She never talked
like that before.

I've never met them before.

If you try any tricks, me girl

you won't find it very healthy.

Now, just a minute, Will.

- I see her point of view.
- Oh, you do, do you?

I'll tell you what it is. She's
got her eye on Lord Kelton.

'The old coot is always
hanging around.'

Oh, so that's the bright idea,
is it?

Yes, you laugh.

She got a chance
to feather her own nest--

Let her try, that's all.

I suppose you all clear out.

I'd like to have
a little chat with Fay alone.

If it's a showdown,
we're in on it.

Come on, leave her to Charles.
He knows how to handle her.

Oh, well, no, I'll finish, mind.

Tell Her Ladyship
just where she gets off.

Leave it to me.

Well, my dear..

...you know, if you want
to chuck it, you can.

Don't be absurd, Charles.

I only wanted to make them mad
to see them exactly

as they are
because I hate them so.

I was only fooling, my dear.
I'm going to see it through.

I wouldn't let youdown.

You never let anyone down,
that's just the point.

Very well, then.

Without my influence, you would
have never chosen this..

...rather precarious profession.

I'm afraid I'm getting
a conscience, Fay.

- What do you mean by that?
- What I say.

You see, my dear,
you don't have to tell me that

you like your newfound friends.
I can see that for myself.

You're as bad as Anna.

You think I'm chasing
the elderly, noble lord?

No, I wasn't thinking
of the elderly, noble lord.

What's on your mind, Charles?

Let's have it.

Well, my dear,
you don't owe anything to us.

Least of all to me.

We've just been
business partners.

Leave to terminate our contract
whenever we choose.

But not in the middle
of an enterprise.

No, thank you,
it's terribly sweet of you

but I intend to get you
your pearls.

If you should change your mind--

I shan't.

And, Charles, would you
like to do something

that would please me very much?

Always.

Don't let's discuss this
anymore.

Of course.

Arthur, come along.
They want you to play.

I'm terribly sorry.
I didn't bring my piano.

You idiot.

They're playing
a game of questions

and there's one
I want to ask you.

Am I in love with Mrs. Cheyney?

How do you know?

You've been trying to ask me
ever since we arrived.

And are you?

As everyone is supposed
to contribute something

to a weekend party,
my contribution is this.

- I think I am.
- To what extent?

- I don't quite know.
- Well, what are the symptoms?

I've suddenly discovered
a liking for little children.

Oh! That sounds
like the real thing.

'Oh, there you are.
We're waiting for you.'

We're playing a perfectly
ripping game called Truth.

Each one of us is pledged
to speak the absolute truth.

Every one of us
is-is allowed in turn

to ask everyone else
a very personal question.

- Oh, and they have to answer?
- Yes, or pay a forfeit.

At the moment,
it's Cousin John's turn.

- Oh, is it?
- Yes, now remember.

You must answer the truth,
the whole truth

and nothing but the truth.

Well, what was the question?

I asked you where
you got those pearl stones

that you're wearing.

Oh, uh, what?

Well, you know, Willie,
I can't possibly remember that.

Oh, Cousin John
has a very poor memory.

Yes, well, hang it all,
they belong to me.

Did Kitty give them to you?

Uh, what? Um, uh..

Yes.

I gave them to him for
a Christmas present, darling.

'I knew you wouldn't mind.'

Of course, he doesn't mind.
Look at his expression.

What's the matter
with my expression?

Egad, how I hate my face.

Suppose you had to live with it
the way your wife does?

I never thought of that.

- Kitty?
- Huh?

I'll-I'll send you a present.

Oh, thank you.

- Is the game over?
- 'Good heavens, no.'

'We've only just started.'

Now, it's your turn
to-to make us all squirm.

Alright, Willie.

What is your private opinion
of me as a hostess?

I say, look here, I..

'I can think up some very
nasty forfeits for you, Willie.'

Alright, I'll answer.

I shall describe you as-as odd.

Yeah, I think
that's the word, odd.

Now, I pick you, Joan.

Have you given up all hope
of marrying Arthur?

I never had any.

'That calls for a forfeit.'

'Yes, I suppose it does.'

Well, in the library,
you'll find

"The Life Of George Washington."

Memorize the part
about the cherry tree

and recite it to each person
you meet up until bedtime.

- Kitty?
- Yes.

How many cousins have you?

Uh, I've got heaps, darling,
heaps and heaps.

Go and write out each
of their names 50 times.

Willie shall be the judge
if you missed any.

If you have, we'll make it 100.

You'd better come with me,
Cousin John.

You're much more familiar
with the family tree than I am.

This is the most obnoxious game
I've ever played.

Lord Kelton?

Oh, well, I, uh..

Well, I'm, uh,
really not playing this game.

I'm just an outsider as it were.

Lord Kelton,
that spoils the fun.

Huh? Oh, uh, well, alright.
I'll..

Are you fool enough to think
of marrying at your age?

- Oh, now, look here, I say--
- 'Yes or no?'

Well, that's, uh,
too personal a question--

We think that the Fourth
Earl of Kelton

is about to pay a forfeit.

Well, I'd rather pay a forfeit

than answer a question
like that in-in public.

- 'Francis.'
- Yeah.

You're to go in the garden,
remove your shoes

and walk three times
around the goldfish pond.

I'll wager Kelton isn't sporting
enough to do it.

- 'Well..'
- Oh, I'm sure he is.

'Why, Francis never backed out'

'after he's once
given his word.'

Uh, yes, well..

Of course, I'll do it
in the spirit of fun.

'That's why I'm going with you.'

Yes, well,
it's all very ridiculous

and I'm frightfully
susceptible to-to colds.

Well, one thing about this game,
if you played it long enough

you wouldn't have a friend
in the world.

Maria, I've always wanted
to know your real age.

- How old are you?
- Oh, about 26.

What forfeit
do you like me to pay?

Just go to your mirror and sit
in front of it for half an hour.

Cat!

- Arthur?
- Mm-hmm.

Are you in love?
Really in love?

Hopelessly,
desperately, and finally.

You and Willie
seem to be the only two

who really tell the truth.

Oh, I don't agree
with you, duchess.

When a man of Lord Dilling's
reputation uses the word

finally, well..

'You think he should pay
a forfeit, huh?'

Oh, a gigantic one.

What would you suggest?
A vat of boiling oil?

Or will you let me show you
the garden by moonlight?

It isn't our choice.

You are my favorite aunt.

I've been trying to get
a moment alone with Fay

since the world began.

What sayeth thou, old witch?

That you go immediatelyupstairs

and help Amelia
turn down the beds.

If my own flesh and blood
should be so callous.

And don't play
any tricks on Amelia.

Whatever happens to Amelia
is on your head.

Amelia! Oh, Amelia!

Well, it looks as if the game's
over and I get off scot-free.

Oh, no, I've got
several questions to ask you.

- Not one, mind.
- Oh, well?

When Arthur proposes to you,
will you accept it?

Well, he, uh,
he hasn't proposed yet

and I really haven't
thought much about it.

Nonsense,
he's on the verge of it

and nobody knows that
better than yourself.

- You like him, don't you?
- Everybody does.

Oh, Arthur has his good points.

He's charming.

Oh, can't bear sentiment.

But I really like you.

It isn't every woman I'd urge
to stay with the family.

That's the sweetest thing
one woman could say to another.

And you do mean it, don't you?

I trust you.

You are on the level.

Now, don't be afraid of Arthur.

He's on the level too..

...this time. That's all.

"I can't tell a lie, pa.

"I can't tell a lie, pa.

"You know, I can't tell a lie.

I didcut it down
with my little hatchet."

- How's that?
- Here we are, 14 of 'em.

Alphabetically arranged.

"I cannot tell a lie, pa.

You know I cannot tell a lie."

Oh, Joan, I'm getting fed up
with that.

Ah, well, it's your own poison.

- By Jove, he's done it.
- "I cannot tell a lie, pa."

- Oh, don't be offended.
- "I cannot tell a lie, pa."

Never mind about that.
Hats off to Kelton.

He's putting his shoes on now.

Well, listen, Fay's
the only person who hasn't paid

a forfeit, let's make her go
and lace them up for him.

- Righto, off you go, Fay.
- I'd love to.

"I cannot tell a lie, pa.
You know I cannot tell a lie."

Oh, Joan, if you say that again,
I'll brain you.

Oh, but I have to say it to
everybody I meet until bedtime.

Do you mind
if I pay my forfeit this way?

"I cannot tell a lie, pa.
You know, I cannot tell a lie."

Oh, shut up!

Don't you think
it was sweet of me

to send Fay out
in the garden to Francis?

He's been dying to get her
alone all the evening.

I say, do you think
he's gonna popthe question?

Of course, he is.
It's written all over him.

I can just hear him saying it.

"My dear, Mrs. Cheyney.

"I am the victim
of the emotion of love.

"I offer you
my undying affection

and my heart, and my hand."

And so, my dear Fay,
you must understand

we couldn't possibly
have a low tariff

and compete
with co-coolie labor.

- Do you find me dull?
- Why should I?

- Oh!
- Am I lacing too tightly?

Oh, no, no, I wish
you wouldn't do that, please.

Oh, but I must,
it's part of the game.

Well, it makes me feel
almost primitive

to have a lovely lady
tampering with my feet.

- Allow me--
- No, I couldn't think of it.

- Oh, Fay.
- Yes, Francis.

Fay, I've got a town house
in London

and a country seat in Kent--

- Other foot, please.
- Huh?

Oh, yes. Ah, let's see.

- Where were we?
- Somewhere in Kent.

Oh, yes, Kent,
about three...hundred acres

and a shooting box in Scotland,
50,000 acres.

And I..
Am I getting intimate?

- Not too intimate.
- Oh!

- I'm only ticklish right there.
- I'm sorry.

Yeah, I wish you'd let me do it.
It's-it's so disconcerting.

Francis, you've probably
had women

at your feet all your life.

Oh, yes.
I mean, no, of course not.

But to get back
to where we were.

I, I'm the chief director in the
largest wool mills in the north.

Yet you wear silk socks?

Such extravagance.

Well, my stock interest
run to over a million.

And it's awfully difficult
for me to go on.

Ah, maybe you better
not try anymore tonight.

Oh, well, it's hard to be
perfectly simple to tell you

what I want.
I'd written it a dozen times.

And torn it up, naturally.

I imagine you're a man who
writes with great distinction.

Uh, oh, yes.
Well, I can write.

I make good speeches too
in parliament but somehow--

I know.
Each of us has his own gifts.

- Yeah.
- Shall we go in the house?

Uh, yes, perhaps, we better.

Perhaps we'd be back.
It's getting cold, isn't it?

Or maybe it's because
I've been wading

around on the beastly goldfish.

- No, not that way.
- Oh!

If you don't mind, Francis,
I think I'll sneak up to bed.

I've rather a headache.
You don't mind, do you?

Oh, no, no, I--

You'll make my excuses
to the duchess, won't you?

Oh, I'll have her come up
and see you right away.

After all, a headache.
That could be very serious.

- I had one once--
- No, please, don't.

I-I, uh, I-it's really nothing.

I wouldn't want you
to disturb her or the others.

I'm just tired, that's all.

- Ah!
- It's been a lovely evening.

- Goodnight.
- Oh, goodnight, Fay.

Uh, a-are you sure
there's nothing I can do?

- Positive.
- Oh, well, goodnight, I..

If you should hear from me
later, I mean, uh..

You wouldn't think
terribly wicked of me

if I s-slipped a note
under your door?

'I'm here, Your Grace.'

Oh, I beg your pardon.
I thought you was Her Grace.

Her Grace is downstairs.

I thought I might find
some aspirin up here.

- I have a slight headache.
- Certainly, madam.

Thank you.

What?

You are wanted on the telephone.

- Well, thank you.
- You can take it in the den.

Hello.

Hello? Hello?

I'm sorry to resort
to such a cheap trick.

But the end justifies the means.

You mean that no one wants me?

I want you, Fay...
terribly.

- Really, Arthur, I'm in no--
- Don't misunderstand me.

I love you, Fay.
Will you marry me?

Please, Arthur.

You didn't accept Kelton,
did you?

What makes you think
he asked me?

- Did you refuse him?
- No.

- You will.
- Are you sure?

After all the love of a good man
stands for something.

Not at all,
that's proved by the fact

that it's always the bad man
who's the correspondent.

Can't we discuss this
some other time, Arthur?

- I'm really very tired.
- Don't put me off.

I must talk to you.

The Bishop of Broadminister
is an old friend of mine.

He's only a couple of miles
from here.

I've telephoned him
and told him to expect us

the first thing in the morning.

You're terribly sure
of yourself, aren't you?

On the contrary,
I'm frightened to death.

I don't believe it.

It's true.

Feel my hand.

You wouldn't disappoint
the bishop, would you, Fay?

You're very sweet.

I love you.

You really do, don't you?

When I'm not with you,
I walk about

in the little private fog
all my own.

I cut my friends
and I greet my enemies.

I read Omar Khayyam
for breakfast

and Shelley
in the House of Lords.

I hear music in the streets

and see flowers
blooming in the gutter.

I'm responsive to beggars
and I comb my hair continually.

In fact, let's face it,
I've got it worse

than any of God's creatures
ever had it before.

Fay.

Arthur, dear, I'm ever so sorry.

- Sorry?
- Yes.

It just can't happen,
that's all.

Your trouble, my friend

is that you're so
incredibly romantic.

Are you by any chance
laughing at me?

What makes you think so?

You act so strange.
Are you laughing at me?

In reverse,
it's the first time in my life

I remember
not laughing at myself.

- Turn off that nasty thing.
- Leave it on. It's lucky.

If she keeps us
waiting much longer

you won't have the price
of a cup of coffee.

Well, my luck will turn.

Not till you learn to deal
like he does.

- What do you mean?
- Oh, you know what I mean.

Yeah, let me cut them cards
before you deal 'em.

I can't stand this any longer.
I'm going to the cinema.

You're gonna stay
right where you are.

She's right, we've been
cooped up here four days

and I'm going balmy.

Why shouldn't we
get a round of it?

When Fay sends the word,
we've got to be ready

to slip down there
at a moment's notice.

When she sends the word.

Yeah, if she was on the job

she could have spotted
the layout in one night.

'I'm going to a show.
What about you, George?'

- You're gonna stay right here.
- Hey, leave her alone.

You keep your hands away
from that knife.

'What do you think
you're doing?'

'We're all going balmy
cooped up here.'

Oh, finding things a bit dull,
are ya?

Fine set of criminals,
I must say.

You don't even know
the elements of your job.

We don't object to any
legitimate precautions.

- But..
- But what?

But we're not gonna be
double-crossed by no one.

And if anyone does,
they'd better look out.

And you, William?

I'd slit the throat of anyone

who double-crossed me,
including yourself.

- Shall I?
- No.

- Mr. Charles West?
- Yes.

Do you wish to reply, sir?

- No answer.
- Righto.

Thank you.

- Is it from her?
- Yes.

- In code?
- Yes.

"Go to hideout.
Will send you word."

- That's fine.
- Splendid.

- Well, it's up to us.
- Good.

She don't say
if it's in the safe.

Oh, bring your settling anyway.

And fix the car, William.

Anna, you've got to take a
return ticket from King's Cross.

Why?

She takes the necklace
back to town.

There's the map.
I've marked it.

Why can't I use the motor?

Because the necklace goes back
to town with you by train.

Yeah, well, I'm off.
Anything else?

Nothing, unless you'd like
to stay and slit my throat.

'Come in.'

I couldn't go to sleep
without saying goodnight to you.

Why, somebody said you had
a headache, or a cold

or something,
and I told Joan--

Oh, I'm quite alright now.
Thank you.

It's been a heavenly day,
and I've enjoyed it so much.

You should. Pursued
by every male in the house.

Envied by every woman,
except me, of course.

I'd rather have
this cup of chocolate

than the best male ever created.

- Want some?
- Yes, may I?

Well, who got the final word?

- Kelton or Arthur?
- Uh, both and neither.

Ho, ho, you're not going
to tell me?

I suppose you think
I'm just a meddling old woman.

I think you're an old darling

but there's really
nothing to tell.

Oh, they are lovely.
I've never seen such pearls.

Which proves that
you know nothing about them.

Oh, but I do.

Fake. I only wear the Ebley
string for county occasions.

I'd like to see the end with the
old cats that live around here.

I'd love to see them. I'm sure
they're worth looking at.

- Would you?
- May I?

Yes.

- Oh, they're exquisite.
- Much too good for me.

I never felt really
comfortable wearing them.

Nonsense.

You were probably born to wear
just such a string of pearls.

You think so? Would you like
to know where I was born?

Yes.

In the charity ward

of a lying-in hospital
in Dublin.

- Oh, you're joking.
- No, my dear.

I was a gaiety girl
when I met His Lordship.

His family almost died of
apoplexy when I married him.

I wish they had.
I never did like them.

You want to know why I'm telling
you all about my lurid past?

- Yes, of course.
- 'Cause I like you.

You're not full of superficial
nonsense like the rest of them.

By gad, I believe
you're an honest woman.

That isn't all.

Honest woman are usually
respectable and dull.

You're a respectable woman, Fay,
but you're not dull

because you have the soul
of an adventuress.

I know. I have one too.

We're really a lot alike.

I wish that were true
in every way.

Go on with you, child.

You'll turn my head.
Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Fay.

They tell me Kelton wears long
underwear, winter and summer.

I wonder what made me
think of that.

- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.

Fay.

Charles, are you mad?

'I locked it.'

If anyone should hear you...

Yes, but they won't.

I've installed the others
in the hideout with binoculars.

From their upstairs window,
there's a commendable view

of these grounds.

But it isn't safe.

Well, whatever is safe
at our job, hmm?

What's the matter, dear?

You shouldn't have come
until I gave the word.

But you did. Your wire.

I know, but I didn't mean..

- Has she the pearls here?
- Yes.

- You're sure?
- Yes, I tell you.

Do you know
where they're located?

Well, I'm not sure.
I, uh...

- But your wire--
- I know, but..

So much has happened since then.
It's-it's hard for me to say.

You're not going through.

No.

I'm a welcher.

An awful welcher, Charles.

No, you're not, Fay.

You won't back out.
Not now.

- Too late.
- I won't do it. I won't.

A few days ago,
I gave you a chance.

The cage was wide open.
I begged you to get out.

I could have handled
the others then.

- But, Charles--
- We can't fool them now.

Fay, we're both in this
up to our necks.

It's too risky
not to go through with it.

Mrs. Cheney.

'Mrs. Cheney.'

Oh, you're not in bed yet.
I'm glad I didn't disturb you.

Is anything the matter?

Oh, no, no.
I was just turning in.

Ah, will you have a nightcap
with me? It might help.

Yes, certainly.

Lord Kelton told the duchess
that you had a headache.

He asked me to look in
and see if you were alright.

You didn't say goodnight
to us, you know.

It was very remiss of me,
but I was tired, and, uh..

Yes, it must have been
quite a strenuous evening.

- Not any more than usual.
- Really?

Two proposals of marriage
in one evening?

One from the richest man
in England

and the other
from the most evasive.

There's been a terrific
speculation going on downstairs

as to which one
you would accept.

Aren't you all
jumping to conclusions?

Hmm, possibly.

'But now, you will admit
it is a pretty natural'

'conclusion for us to jump to.'

'Lord Kelton
is still unmarried at 50'

and of course,
Arthur would promise anything

to gain his own ends.

- Oh, cigarette?
- No, thank you.

Perhaps we were rather
jumping to conclusions.

Goodnight, dear Mrs. Cheney.

It's such fun staying
in the same house with you.

Hardly a dull moment.

- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.

Well, my dear,
you haven't done so badly.

What do you mean?

We shot after a row of pearls

and ended
with a string of peers.

Alright,
so I've double-crossed you.

I've let you all go hang,
is that it?

Well, answer me.
Is that it?

My dear, I never meant
anything of the sort.

- Why should I?
- Because it's true.

Shh! You'll wake the house.

I don't care if I do.

But I do.

Fay, dear, look at me.

You're trying so hard
to blame yourself.

You mustn't do it.

But you never blame me
for anything.

You never do, only I know
what you're thinking.

Well, you struck it lucky, and
I'm going to see you through.

- Even if--
- If what?

If it costs you your life?

Listen to her.

You would give your life for me.

Oh, yes, you would.
Well, you needn't trouble, see?

We're going right back
to where we left off.

My dear, what sort of fellow
do you think I am?

If that girl hadn't
spilled the beans

I should never have known.
You've got your chance.

It's up to me to see
that you take it.

I'll get your pearls
for you tonight.

You can go back to William,
and Anna, and George

and give them the glad tidings.

Now, if you wanna call this off,
you can.

But the game's still on for me.
Are you in it or not?

- Yes or no?
- Fay.

Good. You know the plans.
They still stand.

There's a rose garden
to the left of the stables.

Wait there for a signal.

I'll flash the lights
in this room three times.

You know what it means?

It's goodbye to this.

And a good job too.

And goodbye to Dilling.

Well, anyway, Charles,
tonight sees the end of it.

I think I'm glad.

When you reach the ground,
stay close to the house

and give me about 15 minutes.

Right.

If the lights don't flash,
I'll understand.

They'll flash, alright.
Don't you worry.

I was considered quite a,
quite a casanova in those days.

- Oh, really?
- Yes.

I will never forget how she
cried when-when the boat sailed.

It took, it took two native
policemen and her husband

'to stop her
jumping in the Indian Ocean'

and following the boat.

Oh, well, really, Willie.

I was young,
and she had large black eyes

and a, and a nut-brown skin,
and the most beautiful figure.

Oh, she had a nut-brown skin.
I've always..

How perfectly horrible.

Oh, there was nothing
horrible about it.

- 'Well, it--'
- 'No, she wasn't horrible.'

- 'Her mother was the trouble.'
- 'Oh, really.'

- Was she brown-skinned too?
- Oh, yes, she had..

Charles.

Oh, good evening, Milord.

'Good evening.'

Aren't you a long way from home?

Uh, well, yes, rather.

What brings you to Ebley
so late?

Uh, a cablegram
for Mrs. Cheney, Milord.

Uh, it arrived at eight o'clock.

There's a train at 9:15, and
thinking it might be important

I took the liberty of, uh--

Your devotion to duty

and Mrs. Cheney
is most touching.

Well, thank you, Milord.

Most butlers would have...
telephoned.

Yes, that occurred to me, Milord

but it would have necessitated
my opening the cablegram

and reading it to Mrs. Cheney.

Uh, and of course,
that would be unthinkable.

So you delivered it in person?

Uh, Mrs. Cheney had retired.
I gave it to the housekeeper.

- Well, goodnight, Milord--
- Uh, just a moment.

We could put you up here
for the night

and you could get a train
in the morning.

Well, thank you, Milord,
but there's a local at 1:55.

I have many things
to tend to in the morning.

At least we can have you
driven to the station.

Your lordship's thoughtfulness
is most considerate.

But, uh, I shall enjoy
the exercise.

It's six miles
to the station, Charles.

Is it really?

It seemed less
when I walked here.

You know it's funny?

Every time I see you,
I'm under the impression

that we've met somewhere before.

You look even more familiar

with a hat on.

How careless of me.

I should have
removed it immediately.

Goodnight, Charles.

Goodnight, Milord.

'Come in.'

Is there anything
you need, madam.

No nothing, thank you.

Would you like to
have me sing to you?

Anything but that.

You may not know it, young lady

but I have a rather
pleasing tenured voice.

I'm sure you have, but I'm not
very fond of tenured voices.

- Besides I'm going to bed.
- Oh, it's absurd.

It's perfectly beautiful
out here.

Why don't you come down?

You suggest I jump,
or climb down the ivy.

Well, evidently someone's tried
to climb up the ivy

it's all torn away
from the wall.

Really? Why Arthur?

Oh, no, no, not I.

You better go to bed, young man,
you'll catch a cold.

No, seriously, someone has tried
to climb up the ivy.

Ah, I'm sure they haven't.

Now who on Earth--

The man on the flying trapeze.

I'll lock my door
to be on the safe side.

Goodnight, Arthur.

Let's go.

Keep the motor going.

And Charles was to
pick these up I suppose.

That's it?

All this business,
Kelton and me?

Just part of the game?

Certainly.

Job in hand was these pearls?

Exactly.

- For you and Charles?
- For Charles and me.

What made you suspicious?

I suddenly recognized your..

What is Charles to you
by the way?

My butler.

No, no, I mean,
in his spare time.

A friend.

A real friend.

How did you recognize him?

I didn't until I talked
to him in the garden tonight.

Then I remembered
three years ago at Biarritz

when he was almost caught.

I gave him a sporting chance

and sent him running
in the other direction.

You see, I really
saved him for you.

You couldn't see a way
to making a habit of it.

I have a horror of doing
the same thing twice.

Terribly nice cigarettes.

I'll send you some.

It's sweet of you.

I'll give you my address
tomorrow, when I know it.

You're thinking of changing
your present one?

I have an idea you'll make it
difficult for me to keep it.

One is always willing to pay
a little bit more

for something one really wants.

That's right.

But I don't think
I want it badly enough

to pay your price.

My price?

I haven't mentioned it.

Haven't you?

I confess I wanted
to spend an evening

with you like this alone.

Ever since I first met you.

I believe I even
proposed marriage.

But I refused.

You've made such
fools of us all.

It's a pity not to allow you
to complete it.

It has been quite amusing

Splendid.

Let's keep it that way.

Why not?

Amusing.

Oh, I see.

So we would revert to type?

We do indeed.

If I agree to stay,
you say nothing.

- Nothing.
- And if I don't?

Let's not be squeamish,
let's play this to the end.

I feel quite flattered.

After all there is something
rather attractive

in being locked in a room
with a man alone.

Even if it is against your will.

As crooks go,
do you know the difference

between Charles and you?

No.

Charles robs
with a charm of manner.

You rob with violence.

Hmm. Sherry.

Champagne would have been ideal,
however this will do.

Uh, may I?

Oh, please do.

If I refuse to stay,
what would you do?

You can't refuse.

As you paid me
the great compliment

of asking me to be your wife.

I wonder if it would
interest you to know that

as a woman whose done
nearly everything

there is to do in this world.

This is one of the things
I've never done.

Why do you smile?

I thought we've done
with posing.

You don't believe me?

What a fool you'd think me
if I did.

But it happens to be true.

I wonder how I can
prove it to you.

You couldn't.

It's too difficult.

I can quite understand
you are not believing me.

And I'm sorry.

Because you happen to be
the one person in the world

I should like to have
belief in me.

But since you don't,
I'll do the next best thing.

Just what does that mean?

That means, if you don't believe

I've never done this before

you will at all events believe

I'm not going to do it now.

Just as you like.

Ring the alarm
and when they come

tell the duchess who I am

or unlock that door
and let me go.

You are hardly in a position
to dictate terms.

You can't keep me here
against my will.

I intend to.

Do you?

Well, I prefer a 1000 times

if they should know
what's true about me

then you should believe
what isn't.

Unlock that door
and leave this room.

You're not really trying
to persuade me

that you would ring that alarm.

Unless you unlock that door.

Oh, come, come, Fay dear.

Why the bluff
it's meaningless now.

You're much too sensible to risk

doing five years in Holloway.

Five years in jail
wouldn't be nearly

as long as these
next five hours with you.

Give me the key.

Very well then.

Do you realize what you've done?

Perfectly.

'It's Ames, madam.'

Is anything wrong?

What is it, Ames?
Is the manor on fire?

The burglar alarm is ringing
from Mrs. Cheyney's room.

Well, go and find out
what it is.

We can't, the door is locked.

Mrs. Cheyney? Mrs.Cheyney?

What is it?
What's wrong?

Don't tou..

I'll take charge.

Fay, Fay, uh,
I mean Mrs. Cheyney.

'Can you find a way
of getting me'

'out of this room?'

What happened to your key?

'Lord Dilling refuses
to let me out.'

I'll break down the door.

- Just a moment.
- Oh, what's that?

Oh, well alright, here.

- What is the meaning of this?
- Good heavens.

Lord Dilling has something
to say to you.

- What is it, Arthur?
- Yes, what is it?

Would you prefer
that I tell them?

Speak up.

Yes, quite.

I got into this room

under false pretenses.

In the presence of you all

I humbly tell Mrs. Cheyney

that I behaved like a cad.

A cad? Why you are
as low as-as..

Why, Arthur I thought
this sort of thing

was only done in French farces.

You unmitigated cad.

I suppose because this nice girl

had sense enough to reject you.

You decided she wasn't a lady.

I believe that sums it up.

Oh, don't be frightened,
my dear.

I am here now.

And I will and I hope that

every respectable person
will cut you.

- Everyone should.
- Fay?

Except the insurance company.

They should love him.

But, what do you mean?

My pearls.

But what is the meaning of this?

It means that I came here to..

I liked them as much as you do.

But you-you mean
you were going to..

Yes.

But I offered to..

But there must be some mistake.

None.

Well, I-I-I've..

I'm not feeling very well.

Here.

Don't..

Ames, phone the police.

- Yes, Milord.
- No, no, I'll do it myself.

- Wait a minute.
- What'd you mean wait a minute.

Don't you think we outta try

and handle this thing
with as little

vulgar publicity as possible.

Get me Scotland Yard, quickly.

But, Arthur the woman's a thief.

And the guest of honor
in your house.

What an amusing little tidbit

that's going to make
for the neighbors.

Hello, is that Scotland Yard?

'Yes, I want to speak to
Inspector Witherspoon.'

Oh, he's off duty, they expect
him back in a minute.

Well, tell him to phone me
the minute he gets there.

Tell Inspector Witherspoon
to phone up..

Phone Ebley Manor
the moment he gets in.

Now won't you please let me
handle this thing quietly.

Very well, Arthur.

Now go on, out all of you.

Only Ames, he is to stay here
and assist Lord Dilling.

Go on back to your beds.

- Don't you think I better stay?
- Oh, get out.

Arthur, let me know
as soon as the inspector phones.

Ah, it's hard to believe.

I'm never wrong about people.

Console yourself, duchess.

You weren't so wrong?

You thought I was
a respectable woman

with a soul of an adventuress.

Whereas I'm really
an adventuress

with the soul
of a respectable woman.

Ames, you can go and get dressed

I'll call you
if I need you later.

If the telephone call comes
through from Scotland Yard

have it put through on this
phone. I'll take it here.

- Yes, but, Milord.
- I'll handle things here, Ames.

'Now, we've got to think
and think fast.'

'I will get a car
from the garage.'

You can get what you like.

I intend to get you out of here.

And what will the price
be this time?

- Are you mad?
- Not in the least.

Nor have I the remotest

intension of running away.

Least of all with you.

Charles!

That won't be necessary.

Careless of you, Milord, to
leave these things lying about.

I hardly think I'll need it.

I'm sure you don't, Milord.

What happened?

Oh. It's no use, Charles.

I've bungled the whole thing.

Well.

All in the luck of the game.

And his lordship?

Oh, he caught me.

Quite cleverly.

They put a call through
to Scotland Yard.

Inspector Witherspoon.

Do you know him, Charles?

Oh, yes, slightly.

You gathered my position
in this matter, Milord?

Quite.

I'm afraid I don't
quite follow yours.

All I want is for Mrs. Cheyney
to get out of here

as quickly as possible.

That's the only thing that
matters to me now.

Oh, very generous,
if I may say so.

But if you feel like that,
why capture the lady?

Have you never heard of
anglers who catch little fish

and then fling them back again?

Oh, aren't we being
a little unsociable?

Mrs. Cheyney
is justifiably upset.

A little while ago
I made her the most

appalling proposal
as the price of her freedom.

Yes and he's been telling
everybody about it ever since.

He'll wind up with a halo.

I admit I have
behaved like a cur.

But a very human cur, Milord.

The essential thing
is to get Mrs. Cheyney

out of here before
Scotland Yard becomes involved.

Charles, you've got to get out
of here as quickly as you can.

I intend to remain for..

Well, for reasons of my own.

What reasons?

That's my business.

Oh, then I'll remain here, too.

But, Charles,
don't you understand?

Where could I go?

My identity is known
to all these people.

It would only be a question
of hours or days at the most.

I'm not going through life
always hunted.

It's really not bad
once you get used to it.

- Well, not for me.
- So be it. We remain.

Hello.

One moment, please.

Inspector Witherspoon.

Tell him the call was a mistake.

Charles, I don't think
we want to be patronized, do we?

Oh, just as you say, my dear.

Lord Dilling speaking.

Forgive the presumption.

I'm sorry, but her grace
has gone to bed.

Oh, important,
yes, but not urgent.

Oh, yes, yes,
the morning train would do.

I'll send a car to meet you.

Oh, you're driving down.

Uh, what's that?

Oh, ho ho.

Oh, don't thank me.

I'm only doing
what any Englishman

would do in a similar position.

Ah, goodnight. Thanks awfully.

Charles, please go.

We sink or swim together.

Well, thank you.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Milord.

Uh, not three.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

Come in.

Inspector Witherspoon.

Uh, inspector.

I thought you'd be here earlier.

Won't you have
a bite of breakfast.

'No, thank you. I like to get
down to business.'

I'd like to have you
meet two friends of mine.

Mrs. Fay Cheyney,
Inspector Witherspoon.

It's a lovely morning,
isn't it, inspector?

And, uh, Mr..

Well, how do you do, inspector?

Exceptionally lovely
morning, don't you think

for this time of year?

If you've no objection,
I'll change my mind.

I will have breakfast.

Inspector Witherspoon's here.

- Ooh, the police.
- Oh.

I say, this is exciting.

It's only what she deserves.

Oh, I'm sure Mrs. Cheyney

will appreciate your sympathy.

Willie, how many years
do you think she'll get?

I should think that'll depend
on the age of the judge.

You're surely not thinking
of arresting Mrs. Cheyney?

I'll ring for you when
I want you, Ames.

Yes, Your Grace.

Oh, when I think of her

so sweet, so modest

so-so unworldly
I can't believe it.

I don't she..

Where are the eggs?

Now what is it, Francis?

Are you persisting in
your doddering fancy

for this adventuress?

Well, we could send her away

perhaps to America.

- You mean set her free?
- Yes, but--

What about all the women
in America

she may take advantage of?

'And the men.'

You didn't really
propose, did you?

Why, of course he did.

She's the type
that cautious rich men

wait 50 years for.

Well, we must stop it. I'll have
some words with the inspector.

You're quite right, Kelton.

But first I think you
ought to tell them why.

Well, what's happened?

What have you done now?

I have behaved
with simple dignity.

I introduced our two friends
to the inspector

and asked them to entertain
him while I had breakfast.

Oh, but this is horrible.

Arthur, Francis proposed to her.

It's worse than that.
He did it in writing.

- You did it in writing?
- Yes, I did.

You mean you wrote her a letter?

The motion picture rights
to it alone

should be worth 10,000 pounds.

Oh-er..
They're not.

Look here..

Did she show you the letter?

No, no she merely
quoted from memory.

That's worse than being a thief.

I must defend her.

She left out
the more emotional passages.

Arthur, go in there at once
and get that letter.

It's her property, the fact that
she tried to appropriate ours

gives us no right to retaliate.

Oh, don't be silly.

The police know how
to do these things.

In that case, the letter
will be read in court.

Oh, no, they couldn't.
Here! No sugar, please.

I'm afraid you'll have to
buy that letter, Francis.

And pay through the nose, too.

I think he ought to come out
and face it like a man.

Well, this is frightful.

I believe that you did
this deliberately, Dilling.

It's a very fortunate
thing, Kelton

that you're a wealthy man.

Well, what shall I do? I--

- Care for sugar?
- No. No sugar.

Oh.

The only really funny thing
that ever happened here.

I can't help it.
It's really very funny.

Yes. Joan's right.

- I'm screaming.
- Yeah..

You all think
it's very funny, do you?

You'll change your minds when
you know what's in that letter.

I...I kept a copy
of my first draft

and every one of you is in it.

What do you mean
every one of us?

I mean you're all in it.

You dare to mention
our names in a letter

that might become public?

What did you say about us?

Well, I merely wrote my
private opinion of all of you.

It seemed to me
the proper thing to do.

The rattle of skeletons
falling out of closets

is positively deafening.

Well, I believed it to be
a duty to my future wife

to define the people that
she should or should not know.

Am I a "should not?"

Oh, but definitely.

- And I?
- All of you.

- Including you, my dear aunt.
- Wha..

Of course it may not be true

that Willie was thrown
out of his regimen.

Wha-wha-what's that?

I won't hear of such a thing.

Cousin John, we'll leave.
Well, stop sucking on that egg.

- Come along. You, too, Willie.
- Sit down, Kitty.

We all may as well
know the worst.

Perhaps you better read
the letter yourself, Kitty.

Well, let me look.

Oh..
Oh!

How dare you?

What's this? What's this
you said about my wife?

Well, I merely said
that it was evident to me

that she preferred to be with
one of her alleged cousins

rather than her husband.

And though I can understand it

I cannot condone it.

- That's all I said.
- That's all you said?

- 'Yeah.'
- That's all he said!

Well, it's a lie!

My wife would
much rather be with me

than with any other man.

Well, I don't doubt it.

I merely stated
that she never was.

Well, well...a-aren't you
her cousin?

You mean her real cousin?

Of course he's her cousin.

Kitty, pass the letter to Maria.

Uh, first paragraph,
top of page three, dear.

Oh! Good heavens!

Well, now, now,
don't upset yourself--

Upset myself?

You scoundrel! You cad!

- But I only said--
- That I'm a fallen woman.

That I got 10,000
of old Lord Winfield

for value received?

Why, if this were
ever read in court

I should never be able
to hold up my head again.

- Well, precisely.
- Excuse me.

May I?

My sweet.

How did you know..

"A solitary drunkard."

Lord Kelton, I'll-I'll..

Of course you will, Joan dear.

But first you'll think it over

just as I'll think over his
few choice statements about me.

All of them accurate

but quite disgusting.

Auntie dear..

...the history of all your
mistakes in a nutshell.

Hmm. So you've raked up that,
have you?

Say, it was such fun at the time

but I must say it looks
awful in black and white.

Well, I-I-I tried to
whitewash you quite a bit.

In other words,
ladies and gentlemen

if this letter is read

if it is given as
evidence at the Old Bailey

'Mrs. Cheyney and her Charles'

'will be condemned as criminals'

and the rest of us
will envy them

the comparative purity
of their reputations.

Well, what are we going to do
with this woman?

Ah, let us be more logical.

What is this woman
going to do with us?

Well, it's my view that
we shouldn't for a moment

let her think that
the letter is important.

We should offer her
passage back to America

and in consideration for
the return of the letter

the matter is ended.

If not, she goes to jail.

Arthur, you handle this affair.

That ass has made a mess
enough of things already.

Steady, dear, steady.

Never kill an ass who may
have to lay a golden egg.

Courage, my sweet.

Uh, Mrs. Cheyney,
won't you take a chair?

Thank you.

As Charles was born a gentleman

mayn't he sit, too?

Ah, yes, of course.

- Thank you. No.
- Oh.

Oh..

I'll be brief, Mrs. Cheyney.

The position is as follows.

You have acknowledged
quite frankly

that in accepting the duchess'
invitation to stay here

it was for the purpose
of taking her pearls.

Yes. We planned it for months.

That's very frank.

The penalty for such
things is considerable.

Very considerable.

Well, Charles and I think
that with the charm of manner

we may get off with three years.

Exactly. Now, we have no wish
to see this happen.

Lord Kelton seems to feel

that when you have asked
a woman to be your wife

it would be ungenerous
to treat her so drastically.

Thank you, Lord Kelton.

Oh, I...not at all.

Lord Kelton has a
proposition to make to you.

Oh, yes?

Uh, ye-yes.

If you'll accept
your ticket to America

and a small sum.

Uh, say,
a thou-fiv-a hundred pounds

in return for the letter
I wrote you

we are prepared to consider
the matter closed.

Is it my turn now?

If you will be so kind.

I'm sorry, that I can't accept
Lord Kelton's kind offer

but Charles and I have
decided we must go to jail.

- Oh, we have.
- But why?

You never succeeded
in getting the pearls.

Precisely. We failed, and
that's why we should go to jail.

If we'd got them,
we should have succeeded

a crime for which no
one ever goes to jail.

You put it most charmingly,
Fay dear.

But, my dear young woman,
you don't understand us.

We don't want you to go to jail.

Then equally, dear duchess,
you don't understand us.

We do.

Good, heavens, woman,
you can't be serious

when you say
you want to go to prison.

Isn't it sad, Charles?

They don't understand us.

Tragic. I blush for them.

Charles and I, in our humble way

have tried to live up
to the highest tradition

of our profession.

A profession,
in some form or other

we're all members of.

And that tradition is
never to be found out

but if you are..

I say if you are

be prepared to pay the price.

'I see.'

Beg your pardon, Your Grace.

The police inspector wants
to know why he was sent for.

'Tell him to wait.'

You see, Mrs. Cheyney

we're really terribly serious.

I think it's your duty
to be, dear duchess.

You're very stupid
not to accept a good offer

instead of being taken
away by a horrid policeman.

Not at all.
He may be charming.

As I shall never see
any of you again

I want you to know how much
I've enjoyed knowing you all

and how sorry I am to
lose such nice friends.

Thank you, Lord Kelton.

It was sweet of you to
ask me to be your wife.

Are you ready, Charles?

Almost eager.

Eh..

- Er..
- Oh, you needn't bother.

We can find the policeman.

I think Lord Kelton with
his customary, munificence

desires to make you
a further offer.

Uh, yes, I,
I'm prepared to offer 500 pounds

for the return of that letter.

'Which I call very generous.'

But I prize the letter so much

I don't think I can part
with it for any amount of money

'you could offer me.'

A thousand?

- What?
- But this is amazing.

Come, come, my good woman.

What is your usual charge

for the return of
incriminating letters?

Well, speaking as one
fallen woman to another.

There never have been
any letters

but if there had been,
my charge would depend

entirely on the position
and manners

of the people mentioned in them.

And as I don't propose to
stand here and be insulted

I will, with your permission,
say goodbye.

Fay, my darling,
you're perfectly right.

Had I known they're
the type of people they are

I should never have allowed
you to come and stop with them.

No, please, I-I-I agree
Maria was hasty and I'm sorry.

- Please stay.
- When she has apologized, I'll.

- Yes, say you're sorry at once.
- I'll do nothing of the sort.

- Very well. We're leaving.
- No, no, no. Please wait.

- Say it at once, you under--
- Will you say you're sorry?

'At once?'

Heaven, give me strength.

I'm sorry.

- Granted.
- There.

Now, where were we?

We've reached the point

where 1,000 pounds
was bid for the letter.

And refused.

Yes, uh, Mrs. Cheyney,
what will you take

'for the letter?'

I'll offer 5,000.

You be quiet!

I'll do nothing of the sort.

My money is as good as yours.

As good..

Please, Mrs. Cheyney,
will you answer my question?

Well, if I sell the letter

I'll do so not
in the sense of blackmail

but, but more in the spirit
of breach of promise

for, uh, for 10,000 pounds.

Fay, my darling, it's giving
it away. That's what it is.

Uh, ten..
You can't be..

I refuse.

I'm so glad because
I'd much rather have the letter.

Francis, you have no
alternative but to pay.

And I have no sympathy for you.

Yeah, you better pay up.

Well, I refuse unless, unless--

10,000 pounds, Lord Kelton.

But this is terrible.

Terrible be blown.
I'll give you 11 for it.

11,000 pounds?

What do you charge for a course
of 12 lessons, Charles?

I never charge, Milady.

I'm a man
who just loves his work.

The letter, please,
Mrs. Cheyney.

There's your letter,
Lord Kelton.

I hope you find all the pieces.

But you-you-you've destroyed it.

Mm-hmm. I tore it up like this.

Oh, 10,000 pounds
down the drain, Fay.

And I tried so hard
to make her a crook.

But why?

Why did you tear up that letter?

Because I was born with courage.

I had my share
of dishonest inclinations

but, uh,
what shall I say, decency?

I'm afraid I was given too much.

I don't know
if you'll understand that.

You're a grand woman,
Fay, a grand woman.

But I-I-I..

Why are you a crook?

I wanted to improve
my social position.

I was a shop girl.

In a ten cents store.

That's where Charles found me.

I wanted to share the
beautiful things in life

and I'm not a modern woman.

When one is not a modern
woman and one has no money

there are only
two ways of getting it.

Marry it, or steal it.

I preferred stealing it.

The best pupil I ever had.

By Jove, Mrs. Cheyney,
I sympathize with you.

And you know what I'll do?

I'll set you up in a little
motif shop all your own

in-in appreciation.

How wonderful!

Thank you, Lord Kelton.
It's very kind of you.

It's divine of him.

Mrs. Cheyney, I'll be
your first customer.

No. I will be
her first customer.

Yes. And send the bill
to Cousin John.

Mrs. Cheyney,
you can count on me.

The world is filled with young
men who want to buy me things.

You get the idea, don't you?

We're not very subtle.

If you ever need
a pupil, Charles

you'll find me
in the telephone book.

Oh, thank you, Milady.
I shan't need a pupil.

But I'm happy to know that I can
find you in the telephone book.

- Your car's here, Milord.
- Oh, yes.

Francis, will you
give me a lift to town?

- Oh, a pleasure.
- I'll only be a moment.

- Hey, wait for me.
- And do give me a call.

When you're in town,
Mrs. Cheyney

and we'll settle
all the arrangements

for your little business.

Mrs. Cheyney has
changed her mind, Kelton.

She doesn't want a bribe
for doing something

that came quite spontaneously.

Lord Dilling is right but thank
you just the same, Lord Kelton.

Well, just as you say.

And if there's anything
I can do for you, sir

I shall be only too happy.

Perhaps an introduction
to the president of a bank

might be of service to you.

Uh, the president, oh, yes.

Well, I'll just, goodbye.

Say, Francis, what you said

about me in that letter.

Oh, well, that was pure hearsay.

Oh, so you don't think

I ever had a good time, huh?

- Oh, well, I--
- Now let me tell you something.

- Yes.
- It wasn't hearsay.

- Oh.
- And it wasn't hearsay.

Well, I..

They're really nice people

aren't they, Charles?

Most of us are, my darling.

Well...goodbye, my dear.

Bye?

What do you mean goodbye?

Well, what it means

whenever you come
into a person's life

always come into it
instantaneously

and when you go out of it

go out even more quickly.

Charles, I think
I'm going to cry.

Oh, you mustn't do that.

But I'd be terribly disappointed
if you didn't want to.

- Oh, please stay.
- It's no use.

I'd have to be honest

and that would bore me.

You mean you want to
get away on your own?

That's it, my dear.

In some ways, you're the
strangest man I've ever known.

- Why so?
- I don't know, but..

I wouldn't have
you one bit different.

That's a happy thought.

Is it a happy thought, Charles?

Yes, my dear.

And it's going with me
to China, to Peru

what so ever my port of call.

I'll miss you very much.

Bless you.

Oh, uh, by the way, Milord

I hate parting with it because
it's the first watch I ever took

but, uh, this is yours.

I took it from you at
Derby Day five years ago.

My dear, Charles.

I've always wanted
to meet the man who took it.

I hope you'll do me a favor.

Keep it.

Oh, may I?

I want you to.

Well, that's very nice of you.

Thank you.

Well, so long.

Are you going around
the world for pleasure, Charles?

Mixed with business, Milord.

Well, inspector, here we are.

I'd almost given you up.

Bargain's a bargain.

It is, isn't it?

Don't you worry.
Charles, you're a gent.

I try to be.

Isn't always easy.

Where are you going, Charles?

Oh, the inspector
is giving me a lift to town.

Goodbye.

Good luck.

Next to going around the world

with the woman one loves..

...I can't imagine
anything more attractive

than going around it
with Charles.

You would enjoy it.

- You've so much in common.
- I agree.

You like him?

As much as a woman
can like a man

she's not in love with.

Fay, I'm going
to ask you a question.

You needn't answer it
if you don't want to.

I'll answer it with pleasure.

If you hadn't come
into my room last night

I would have taken the pearls.

- You mean that?
- Yes.

But of all the women
you've ever known

none was so glad to see you

in a bedroom
as I was last night.

You know, I believe that
most of the good things

that are done in this world
are done unintentionally.

I wonder.

It's an extraordinary thing.

The most difficult question
to ask a woman..

...is a nice one.

What sort of question
were you going to ask me?

I was about to describe
my hopeful contribution

to your future.

Oh, please do.
I'm interested.

You remember I told you
about a certain bishop

who lived nearby?

Very distinctly, Arthur.

This morning while you
were changing your clothes

I jumped in the car and went

and had a bite of breakfast
with him.

How surprised he must have been

to see you at that hour.

I told him of a little trouble

that I was in.

He said,
"Bring her here at 11:00

and I'll fix it up for you."

And, uh, what was he to fix?

That I should be able
to have breakfast

with you every morning.

Oh, but I never eat any.

'Yes, I told him there
was a possibility of that.'

Did you tell him anything else?

That I loved you.

I mean, did you tell
him anything about me?

Everything.

He said, "Get her.

You'll never get
another like her."

He sounds like a darling.

I'd like to meet him.

He asks us to be punctual.

Oh? So he thinks
I'll come, huh?

He's even more sure
of it than I am.

You see, he says you love me.

I wonder
what makes him think that.

He has an idea you wouldn't
have rung that bell last night

if you hadn't.

I know I shall like him.

Do you think he'll like me?

He'll adore you.

Do you?

Terribly.

What's more important, do you?

Much more than terribly.

What's that?

That's the last of Mrs. Cheyney.

I'm so glad.

And that?

That's the first
of Lady Dilling.