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1
00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:03,671
(funky disco plays)
♪ My name is Cleveland Brown
2
00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:06,041
♪ And I am proud to be
3
00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:07,940
♪ Right back in my hometown
4
00:00:07,942 --> 00:00:11,112
♪ With my new family
5
00:00:11,112 --> 00:00:13,112
♪ There's old friends
and new friends ♪
6
00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:15,154
♪ And even a bear
7
00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:17,649
♪ Through good times
and bad times ♪
8
00:00:17,651 --> 00:00:19,021
♪ It's true love we share
9
00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:21,350
♪ And so I found a place
10
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:23,885
♪ Where everyone will know
11
00:00:23,891 --> 00:00:26,031
♪ My happy mustached face
12
00:00:26,027 --> 00:00:27,957
♪ This is The Cleveland Show. ♪
13
00:00:27,962 --> 00:00:29,962
(chuckles)
14
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:34,203
DONNA:
Hey, everybody.
15
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:36,641
Breakfast house is ready.
16
00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:39,967
Where's the buttery butter
and the mapley syrup?
17
00:00:44,811 --> 00:00:46,081
Nuh-uh!
18
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:47,250
This is my house, punk!
19
00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:49,518
I believe
it's in fork-closure.
20
00:00:49,517 --> 00:00:51,047
(laughs) Oh.
21
00:00:51,052 --> 00:00:53,992
Oh, here,
you can have the chimney.
22
00:00:53,988 --> 00:00:55,648
I love you, my boy.
23
00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:57,316
Well, I'm not eating.
24
00:00:57,324 --> 00:00:59,834
I need to look orphan-thin
for my Annie audition.
25
00:00:59,827 --> 00:01:01,827
Broadway audition?
Off Broadway?
26
00:01:01,829 --> 00:01:03,899
Regional theater?
Summer stock?
27
00:01:03,898 --> 00:01:05,328
Dinner theater?
Cruise ship?
28
00:01:05,332 --> 00:01:06,602
Talking to yourself
in the mirror?
29
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,100
Community theater.
30
00:01:08,102 --> 00:01:09,902
Oh. I was still three away.
31
00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:11,074
RALLO:
Good morning, everybody.
32
00:01:11,072 --> 00:01:12,502
Notice something?
33
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,206
Not much.
A lot.
34
00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:16,408
Rallo, why are you
Porky Pigging it?
35
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:19,210
Because I slept all night
without a pull-up.
36
00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:21,183
Boom! Dry! Bone dry!
37
00:01:21,182 --> 00:01:22,512
You know what
this means?
38
00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:24,016
Silk boxers?
39
00:01:24,018 --> 00:01:25,748
He can stop
sleeping in the tub? Nothing?
40
00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:29,023
It means he's not
a baby anymore.
41
00:01:29,023 --> 00:01:31,063
Oh, my God,
you're right!
42
00:01:31,058 --> 00:01:34,028
This a monumental day!
43
00:01:34,028 --> 00:01:37,128
We can finally get rid of all
his baby crap in the garage.
44
00:01:37,131 --> 00:01:39,031
Hang a tennis ball in there.
45
00:01:39,033 --> 00:01:42,033
Park it just right every time.
46
00:01:43,570 --> 00:01:47,140
Rallo, bring the kerosene
from your bedroom!
47
00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:48,941
Junior, bring your torch!
48
00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:53,105
ROBERTA:
No! Stop!
49
00:01:53,114 --> 00:01:54,654
You forgot his baby book
50
00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:57,218
and the CD of all
his baby photos.
51
00:01:57,218 --> 00:02:00,888
Rallo, today you
are a dead baby.
52
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,534
(cheering)
53
00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:12,630
♪ We ain't got no babies
54
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,633
♪ We ain't got
no babies ♪
55
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,965
♪ We ain't got no babies
56
00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:19,141
♪ We ain't got
no babies. ♪
57
00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:22,140
CLEVELAND:
Hey, now let's burn everything that belongs to Roberta!
58
00:02:22,143 --> 00:02:24,043
(cheering)
59
00:02:31,117 --> 00:02:33,087
Mm.
60
00:02:33,087 --> 00:02:34,487
Cleveland,
I've been thinking. What?
61
00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:36,358
I'm 42 years old,
Oof.
62
00:02:36,357 --> 00:02:39,687
and there are some things I'm
afraid I won't be able to do--
63
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:41,263
have a successful career,
64
00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:43,102
backpack across Europe.
65
00:02:43,097 --> 00:02:45,127
Or wear a bathing suit
without a skirt on it.
66
00:02:45,132 --> 00:02:46,772
Or have another baby.
67
00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:48,267
Mm-hmm.
68
00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:49,669
Well, night, now.
69
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:50,970
Cleveland...
70
00:02:50,971 --> 00:02:52,941
I want to have
another baby.
71
00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:54,310
Uh? Wha...?
72
00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:56,308
I want to have
another baby.
73
00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:58,210
Donna, we just
got rid of a baby.
74
00:02:58,212 --> 00:03:00,782
Let's enjoy our
twilight years in peace.
75
00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,651
Now, if you'll excuse me,
76
00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:03,980
I have to write a letter.
77
00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:05,284
Long hand.
78
00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:06,846
In the bathroom.
79
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:09,224
Peen, pen, pen, peen.
80
00:03:09,223 --> 00:03:13,433
Donna wants a baby,
Donna's gonna get a baby.
81
00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:19,430
("Take Me Out to the Ball Game"
playing)
82
00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:23,366
(giggles)
83
00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:26,907
(cooing baby noises)
84
00:03:31,844 --> 00:03:34,354
The mobile is awesome.
85
00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:36,078
I will hang it in my car.
86
00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:38,523
We are not having a baby.
87
00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:41,119
(bat hits ball,
crowd cheering)
88
00:03:42,822 --> 00:03:44,322
Cleveland,
if we did have a baby,
89
00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:46,055
I would need some help.
90
00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:48,530
So I thought we'd get
a sexy live-in nanny.
91
00:03:48,529 --> 00:03:50,299
Girls!
92
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,833
Nope.
Send 'em back.
93
00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:56,195
(sighs)
94
00:03:56,203 --> 00:03:58,503
DONNA:
All right, girls. Back on the bus.
95
00:03:58,505 --> 00:04:00,365
Please no make us.
96
00:04:00,374 --> 00:04:02,514
We have so much herpes.
97
00:04:02,509 --> 00:04:04,239
(doorbell rings)
98
00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:07,248
Goo, goo, ga, ga.
99
00:04:07,248 --> 00:04:08,778
I'm a baby.
100
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,222
I messed myself.
101
00:04:10,217 --> 00:04:11,747
I love you, Daddy.
102
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,552
It ain't working, Donna.
103
00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:15,654
What's Miss Donna
got to do with this?
104
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:25,430
(off-key):
♪ I'm...
105
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,272
♪ Singing.
106
00:04:27,268 --> 00:04:29,298
Stop, stop, stop.
107
00:04:29,303 --> 00:04:31,203
That was awful.
I've heard enough.
108
00:04:31,205 --> 00:04:32,535
Did I get the part?
109
00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:34,309
Yes. Next!
110
00:04:34,308 --> 00:04:36,208
Look at me, I'm swinging!
111
00:04:36,210 --> 00:04:38,310
Like Tarzan!
Whoever that is.
112
00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:41,412
The franchise needs
to be revived!
113
00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:43,375
Aw, man, my stock outfit.
114
00:04:43,384 --> 00:04:45,224
Open can of paint...
115
00:04:45,219 --> 00:04:46,749
Hey, stage manager.
116
00:04:46,754 --> 00:04:48,994
Why are you
stage managing?
117
00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:50,789
Because there were no
burly lesbians around
118
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,091
who wanted to do it.
119
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:54,262
Ha! That's who
does that job.
120
00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:55,991
Let me borrow
your extra shirt.
121
00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:57,826
What makes you think
I have an extra shirt?
122
00:04:57,831 --> 00:04:59,161
Come on, man.
123
00:04:59,166 --> 00:05:00,626
Fat guys always have
an extra shirt.
124
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:03,644
All that sweating,
food dribbling, lactation.
125
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,097
Okay, okay.
126
00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:07,135
Go get it from my locker.
127
00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:09,741
Next up Roberta De Niro?
128
00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:11,083
Stage name.
129
00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:12,338
All right.
130
00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:14,346
Time to get discovered.
131
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,176
Leapin' lizards, Daddy Warbucks!
132
00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:19,985
I'm...
Wait.
133
00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:22,317
I don't need to hear any more.
You've got the role...
134
00:05:22,323 --> 00:05:25,293
Really?!
...of kicking the stool out from under me
135
00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:28,092
as I hang myself
because you were so dreadful.
136
00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:31,095
Oh, it looks like
I'll never find my Annie.
137
00:05:31,098 --> 00:05:34,798
Man, Junior's shirt is
unexpectedly large on me.
138
00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:37,602
I feel like Al Roker
after his third surgery.
139
00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:40,214
Except all this would be skin.
140
00:05:41,541 --> 00:05:43,111
That'll work.
141
00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:44,380
MAN:
Look out, I just waxed the floor.
142
00:05:44,378 --> 00:05:46,378
Whoa...!
143
00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:48,280
Wait, what's that?
144
00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:52,083
Raise the scrim!
Hit the lights!
145
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,393
Cue the music!
146
00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:56,888
(playing "Hard Knock Life"
147
00:05:58,991 --> 00:06:02,361
I think we've found our Annie!
148
00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:04,333
What? Him?
149
00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:05,661
Yes.
150
00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:07,866
This play will be
an historic display
151
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:11,398
of color-blind, gender-blind,
talent-blind casting.
152
00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:15,805
I'm gonna ride this little boy
all the way to an Obie Award!
153
00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:18,379
But, Mr. Gargalode,
who am I gonna play?
154
00:06:18,379 --> 00:06:20,679
It's "Miss," and I'm gonna
throw you a bone.
155
00:06:20,681 --> 00:06:23,151
And by that, I
mean you can be the dog.
156
00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:24,720
But you...
157
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,248
you are the star.
158
00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:27,323
Me?
159
00:06:27,321 --> 00:06:28,651
I'm a star?
160
00:06:28,655 --> 00:06:30,715
I want to make a rap album.
161
00:06:33,659 --> 00:06:35,889
Hey, baby.
Get it?
162
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,426
There was an
explosion at work.
163
00:06:37,431 --> 00:06:39,161
I can't hear anything.
Good night.
164
00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:41,866
(whispering):
French fries in gravy. Hmm?
165
00:06:41,869 --> 00:06:44,439
So, there was
no explosion at work.
166
00:06:44,438 --> 00:06:46,508
There was, I just
wasn't there.
167
00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:48,507
Isn't there a part of you
that's curious to see
168
00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:50,339
what the two of us
would make together?
169
00:06:50,344 --> 00:06:52,744
Someone
with my determination,
170
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,446
good looks,
and upper-body strength,
171
00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:56,518
and your last name?
172
00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:58,377
I do have a good last name.
173
00:06:58,385 --> 00:07:00,415
Oh, Cleveland,
just look at Rallo.
174
00:07:00,421 --> 00:07:02,351
They grow up so fast.
175
00:07:02,356 --> 00:07:04,556
Junior's not gonna take baths
with you forever.
176
00:07:04,558 --> 00:07:06,058
I'll take that bet.
177
00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:07,389
Oh!
178
00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:08,594
You kill all my dreams!
179
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,525
Good night!
Good night.
180
00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:12,931
Hmm, Casablanca?
181
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:14,733
Never heard of it.
182
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:16,195
Philadelphia Story?
183
00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:17,473
Terrible city.
184
00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:19,371
Chinatown?
185
00:07:19,373 --> 00:07:20,973
Mm. Not in the mood
for subtitles.
186
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:22,874
Look Who's Talking?
187
00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:25,606
I wonder if this is anything
like Look Who's Talking Too?
188
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:28,212
JOHN TRAVOLTA:
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
189
00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:29,945
BRUCE WILLIS:
Yeah. Lunch.
190
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,450
Ha ha!
Baby called boobies "lunch."
191
00:07:32,453 --> 00:07:33,793
(laughs)
192
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,787
Baby driving a car!
193
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,219
(laughing)
194
00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:39,164
John Travolta kissing a woman!
195
00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:41,759
(laughing)
196
00:07:41,762 --> 00:07:45,402
(choked up):
And now he's calling him "Daddy."
197
00:07:45,399 --> 00:07:47,829
Look who's sobbing.
198
00:07:47,835 --> 00:07:49,295
Donna. Wake up.
199
00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:50,403
I want to make a baby.
200
00:07:50,404 --> 00:07:51,674
You do?
201
00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:53,002
What made you
change your mind?
202
00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:54,566
Look Who's Talking movie.
203
00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:57,135
We're gonna have a dumb baby.
204
00:08:03,749 --> 00:08:05,079
Kids, great news.
205
00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:06,645
We're having
a talking baby.
206
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:08,093
Like Verne Troyer?
207
00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:09,518
Exactly.
208
00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:11,523
What this means is
when Mommy and Daddy
209
00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:13,085
put a sock on
their doorknob,
210
00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:14,493
we do not bother them,
211
00:08:14,495 --> 00:08:16,795
no matter how bad
the dream was,
212
00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:18,527
or how thirsty we are.
213
00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:22,302
Or how much we hear what sounds
like a mugging in progress.
214
00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:23,702
Or what sounds like
215
00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:26,714
wet chicken breasts slapping
against each other.
216
00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:28,007
Mmm.
217
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,308
Or a boot being
pulled out of the mud.
218
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:31,510
Ooh.
219
00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:35,812
Or like someone mixing
macaroni and cheese.
220
00:08:35,816 --> 00:08:38,376
(sultry music plays)
221
00:08:39,218 --> 00:08:40,818
Cleveland.
Right.
222
00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:42,191
Kids, clean that mess up.
223
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:43,619
(both giggling)
224
00:08:43,624 --> 00:08:45,664
So let me get this right.
225
00:08:45,659 --> 00:08:49,229
You make a baby with mud,
chicken and mac and cheese?
226
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:50,959
That's what Paula Deen
is made of.
227
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:52,434
Ha! Got her.
228
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:58,798
Come on, Sandy,
we're going to N.Y....
229
00:08:58,805 --> 00:09:00,135
(clears throat)
230
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:01,640
I could use a
glass of water.
231
00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:03,012
Junior, you mind
getting me some water?
232
00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:04,710
There's a water fountain
right there.
233
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:07,911
We can't have our star
drinking from a public fountain.
234
00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:10,275
That water's 90% lead.
235
00:09:14,820 --> 00:09:17,060
And while you're at it,
get me some Pringles.
236
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,717
(groans)
237
00:09:22,695 --> 00:09:25,825
I am wore out.
238
00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:27,672
Monday Night Raw.
239
00:09:29,035 --> 00:09:30,595
Is anyone curious why?
240
00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:32,244
Curious? No.
241
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:33,609
Trapped? Yes.
242
00:09:33,607 --> 00:09:36,107
Guys, Donna and I
are making a baby.
243
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:37,439
No, you're not.
244
00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:39,084
What?
You got a vasectomy.
245
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,379
No, I didn't.
246
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:42,080
Yeah, you did.
Six months ago.
247
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:44,182
We all got drunk and
played Truth or Dare.
248
00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:45,684
Holt got a tramp stamp,
249
00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:46,886
you got a vasectomy,
250
00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:48,187
and Tim tried meth.
251
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:49,588
One time, one time.
252
00:09:50,456 --> 00:09:51,616
Okay, two.
253
00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:53,115
A vasectomy?
254
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:55,626
So that's why my boys
hurt for three weeks.
255
00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:58,929
I thought a spider had
laid eggs in there.
256
00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:01,696
Donna?
257
00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:03,602
There's something serious
we need to talk about.
258
00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:07,714
Mm. Down, Brown.
259
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,208
Donna, a few weeks ago,
260
00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:11,539
while presumably
blackout drunk, I...
261
00:10:11,545 --> 00:10:14,545
Cleveland, I sent the kids
on a six-minute errand.
262
00:10:14,548 --> 00:10:16,208
You know what that means.
263
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:18,546
No one will
hear me whimper?
264
00:10:18,552 --> 00:10:21,852
(Cleveland whimpers happily)
265
00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:26,089
♪
266
00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:28,633
Leapin' lizards, Daddy Warbucks!
267
00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:30,729
Your mansion is way better
268
00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:33,131
than mean ol'
Miss Hannigan's orphanage.
269
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:35,603
Annie, you're all right.
270
00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:37,672
Oh! This is stupid dumb.
271
00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:40,111
How come Rallo gets to
rehearse on Skype?
272
00:10:40,107 --> 00:10:42,337
Because he was unhappy
with the humidity level
273
00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:43,742
in the auditorium.
274
00:10:43,744 --> 00:10:46,244
Annie got to have her frizz.
275
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:48,306
You know, just
a thought on Sandy...
276
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:49,905
I think to really sell "dog,"
277
00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:52,146
she should be eatin'
real dog food.
278
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:54,822
Oh, my God!
Get out of my brain! Yes!
279
00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:56,351
Annie, got your gum!
280
00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:57,956
(laughing)
281
00:10:57,958 --> 00:10:59,758
I got that,
did you get it? Yeah, I got it.
282
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:00,860
That's Hubba Bubba.
283
00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:02,461
I asked for
Dubble Bubble.
284
00:11:02,462 --> 00:11:03,602
They're both gum.
285
00:11:03,597 --> 00:11:04,997
They are not both gum.
286
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,698
When I ask for something,
I get it!
287
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:08,030
And this goes
for all of you!
288
00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:09,695
Turn me. You!
289
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:12,436
Turn me. You!
290
00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:14,009
Turn me again. And you!
291
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,437
Me?
292
00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:16,642
All of you!
293
00:11:16,643 --> 00:11:19,443
If Annie's not happy,
you got no show.
294
00:11:19,446 --> 00:11:21,446
WALLY:
It's you have no show.
295
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:23,618
And by the way,
you do have no show.
296
00:11:23,617 --> 00:11:26,717
If you want to do a musical,
you have to pay for the rights.
297
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,220
ALL:
Oh...
298
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:29,821
I've heard that.
Yeah, I've heard that more.
299
00:11:29,823 --> 00:11:31,493
And since we spent
all our budget
300
00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:33,661
on Rallo's grandiose
demand-ee-ohs,
301
00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:35,290
we have no money.
302
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:36,855
Therefore, no play.
303
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:38,533
What demand-ee-ohs?
304
00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:40,602
Well, your trailer, for one.
305
00:11:42,134 --> 00:11:43,474
What?
306
00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:44,740
I'm not gonna be a star?
307
00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:47,538
Exactamundo-rooney!
308
00:11:48,741 --> 00:11:49,841
Thank God.
309
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:51,713
Rallo was turning
into such a diva.
310
00:11:51,712 --> 00:11:53,142
He was so mean.
311
00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:56,546
But his occasional compliments
made me walk on air.
312
00:11:58,851 --> 00:12:02,391
The thing is, my wife and I
have been having crazy sex.
313
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:04,489
Lights on, clothes off,
314
00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:06,561
first names... everything.
315
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:08,860
But turns out I had a vasectomy.
316
00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:10,732
Is there any chance I could
still get her pregnant?
317
00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:12,401
Zero.
318
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:14,399
But the procedure
is reversible.
319
00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:15,831
Great! Let's do it.
320
00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:17,866
Okay, just put this on,
321
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:20,171
while I disclose a few of
the potential side effects.
322
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:22,273
First, fluid buildup
323
00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:23,835
and swelling of
the genitals.
324
00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:25,744
Always a concern.
Go on.
325
00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:27,706
Bleeding in scrotum.
Okay.
326
00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:29,214
And sperm granuloma.
327
00:12:29,216 --> 00:12:32,446
I prefer milk on my granuloma
in the morning.
328
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:34,252
Oh, (laughs), yes, I see.
329
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,864
No, no, no, sperm granuloma
occurs when
330
00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:40,227
sperm leaks into your scrotum
and forms an inflamed mass.
331
00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:42,027
Oh.
But don't worry.
332
00:12:42,028 --> 00:12:43,288
I've done this twice on a dummy.
333
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:44,856
Now lie back and relax.
334
00:12:45,865 --> 00:12:49,195
Now to make
the initial incision...
335
00:12:49,202 --> 00:12:51,302
I'll try to match
your natural seam,
336
00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:53,914
so as not to slice
against the grain.
337
00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:55,267
Preesh.
338
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,805
All right, I've made the cut...
339
00:12:57,811 --> 00:12:59,241
and I've made a mistake.
340
00:12:59,246 --> 00:13:00,646
Nurse, abort the procedure.
341
00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:01,707
What? What happened?
342
00:13:01,715 --> 00:13:03,715
Shh, shh, shh, now,
now, now, now, now.
343
00:13:03,717 --> 00:13:05,077
I'm trying to concentrate.
344
00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:06,375
There it is!
Got it! No!
345
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:07,716
Whoops!
It's all you.
346
00:13:07,721 --> 00:13:08,751
I've got it,
I've got it!
347
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:10,085
No, no, don't step on it!
348
00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:11,420
Oop...
349
00:13:11,424 --> 00:13:13,834
And I owe you a
new cup of coffee.
350
00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:16,157
You know what, Doc?
351
00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:18,733
I'm gonna pray on this.
352
00:13:18,732 --> 00:13:20,502
(Cleveland whimpers)
353
00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:23,604
Gotta come clean.
354
00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:24,773
Don't let her seduce you.
355
00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:27,011
I will not get turned on.
356
00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:29,507
CCH Pounder on the toitey.
357
00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:32,109
CCH Pounder
on the toitey.
358
00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:33,752
CCH Pounder on the toitey...
359
00:13:33,747 --> 00:13:34,947
No! No hump!
360
00:13:34,948 --> 00:13:37,748
Cleveland, I'm pregnant!
No.
361
00:13:37,751 --> 00:13:39,381
Yes.
Really?
362
00:13:46,592 --> 00:13:48,632
So, you're pregnant.
363
00:13:48,628 --> 00:13:50,128
Are you sure?
364
00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:52,330
Cleveland, I've been
pregnant five times.
365
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:53,432
Yeah, I'm sure.
366
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:55,673
How could this be?
(laughs)
367
00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:58,339
You acting like you weren't
there when it happened.
368
00:13:58,338 --> 00:13:59,438
Of course I was.
369
00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:01,009
I had to have been.
370
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,467
What possibly could've
snipped my involvement?
371
00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:06,306
You know, they say babies can
hear everything in the womb.
372
00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:07,713
Do you want to say "hi"?
373
00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:09,184
I'd love to.
374
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,722
I don't know who you are,
375
00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:13,318
or how you got there,
376
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,820
but I'll never
love you. Ever.
377
00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:18,492
And I'm going to follow
your mother until I find out
378
00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:20,391
who your father is,
379
00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:24,163
and then lord it over her
until she is destroyed.
380
00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:27,474
That is the only way
to repair this relationship.
381
00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:29,727
Love you.
Oh...
382
00:14:29,736 --> 00:14:33,806
I probably will love you,
after I see your little face.
383
00:14:37,142 --> 00:14:39,442
(giggles)
(chuckles)
384
00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:43,413
(sighs)
385
00:14:44,583 --> 00:14:46,353
Good-bye, Annie.
386
00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:49,353
For us, there is no tomorrow.
387
00:14:49,356 --> 00:14:51,386
(sobbing)
388
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:52,561
(sobbing)
389
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:53,759
Rallo?
390
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,930
Ro-Ro! J.J.!
391
00:14:55,929 --> 00:14:58,929
I'm so sorry I got the
show-show shut down.
392
00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:00,932
I ruined it,
not just for me
393
00:15:00,934 --> 00:15:03,574
but for you guys,
and that terrible cast.
394
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,440
I let it all go to my head.
395
00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:08,268
And now I'm the most
pathetic thing on earth:
396
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:10,705
a former child star.
397
00:15:10,710 --> 00:15:12,540
Now if you'll excuse me,
398
00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:14,505
I'm gonna go get this over with
and hold up a Laundromat.
399
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:16,054
Rallo, wait.
400
00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:17,919
I think there's a way
to do the show
401
00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:19,718
even without the rights.
402
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:21,719
We'll do our own
knockoff version!
403
00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:23,191
Ack, ugh!
404
00:15:23,189 --> 00:15:24,519
Girl don't know
how to whisper.
405
00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:26,394
I am whispering!
406
00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:28,933
DONNA:
And so then Dr. Fist called to talk to Cleveland,
407
00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:31,259
and I find out
he had a vasectomy
408
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,464
and refused to
get it reversed.
409
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:35,626
So to get back at him,
I've been faking a pregnancy.
410
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:38,565
So suddenly we're friends?
411
00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:40,871
I have no one else
to talk to.
412
00:15:40,874 --> 00:15:43,884
So how long you gonna
keep up the ruse?
413
00:15:43,877 --> 00:15:45,407
I won't tell the truth
414
00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:47,752
until he admits the truth
about his vasectomy.
415
00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:50,107
But don't you still
want a baby?
416
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,946
Oh, I can always
have a baby.
417
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:53,722
But how often do I get to
418
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:56,120
have the upper hand
against my husband?
419
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:59,722
You know, when I can really
rub his face in it.
420
00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:03,586
Your people's marriages
are so interesting.
421
00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:06,126
Let's go shower off.
422
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:12,102
How dare Donna lie to me?
423
00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:14,665
She drew first blood.
424
00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:15,974
Not me.
425
00:16:15,976 --> 00:16:18,536
I guarantee Kendra
whizzed in here.
426
00:16:22,114 --> 00:16:25,024
So what are you going
to do about Donna? Nothing.
427
00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:26,618
I won't admit I'm lying
428
00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:28,619
until she admits
she's lying.
429
00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:30,991
That's gonna be
kind of rough.
430
00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:34,861
Not nearly as rough as the hands
of this guy massaging me.
431
00:16:34,861 --> 00:16:37,631
Want to take it
down a notch, Sven?
432
00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:39,630
(deep voice):
Sorry, sir.
433
00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:42,172
And... boom
goes the dynamite.
434
00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:45,669
Cleveland?
435
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:47,542
I'm home, and nauseous
with morning sickness
436
00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:49,040
because I'm pregnant.
437
00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:51,912
Cleveland?
438
00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:55,175
Oh, hey, Donna.
439
00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:57,921
I was just finishing up
the paint job on the nursery.
440
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:02,988
Now, before I unwrap
this expensive, Swedish,
441
00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:07,029
non-returnable-once-opened
crib set I spent $2,000 on,
442
00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:08,727
is there anything
you want to tell me?
443
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:10,128
Two thousand...!
444
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:13,160
No. Is there anything
you want to tell me?
445
00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:16,466
No. My lovely, pregnant wife.
446
00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:18,099
Nothing.
447
00:17:24,076 --> 00:17:25,206
Ah! I'm blind!
448
00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:26,911
Oh.
449
00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:31,084
(woman screaming)
450
00:17:31,084 --> 00:17:33,184
Put the 3D glasses
back on, Cleveland.
451
00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:35,016
I mean, we have
to be prepared.
452
00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:37,761
Unless there's something
you want to tell me.
453
00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:39,057
(woman moaning)
454
00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:40,589
(gagging): No.
455
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:42,263
Is that...?
456
00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:44,262
Ah, she's pooping!
She's pooping!
457
00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:45,864
It's the miracle of...
458
00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:48,265
(retching)
459
00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:52,366
Excuse me, excuse me.
460
00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:55,042
Huge, nine-months-pregnant wife
coming through.
461
00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:58,081
But her boobs haven't gotten
any bigger for some reason.
462
00:17:58,078 --> 00:18:00,208
Thank you for coming, everyone.
463
00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:03,683
And now, with the approval
of our team of lawyers...
464
00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:05,383
(whispering)
Mm-hmm.
465
00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:09,345
...Stoolbend Community Theatre
proudly presents
466
00:18:09,355 --> 00:18:13,115
a sufficiently altered,
sound-alike knockoff production
467
00:18:13,126 --> 00:18:15,256
Anny with a "Y"!
468
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:16,891
(jaunty music plays)
469
00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:19,726
♪ It's a bad luck world for we
470
00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:22,132
♪ It's a bad luck world,
says me ♪
471
00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:24,595
♪ No one tucks you into bed
472
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:27,144
♪ When your mom and dad
are dead ♪
473
00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:28,540
♪ It's a bad luck world.
474
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:29,811
(music stops, applause)
475
00:18:29,809 --> 00:18:31,779
(musical sting)
476
00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:35,578
You rotten
orphanage residents!
477
00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:38,822
We love you,
Miss Shenanigans.
478
00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:41,288
Crawlin' chameleons,
Papa Starbucks.
479
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:44,487
Can I really move into your
big ol' mansion with you?
480
00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:46,961
Damn skippy,
Anny with a Y.
481
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:50,160
And I promise I won't
try anything nasty.
482
00:18:50,163 --> 00:18:51,963
(gentle melody plays)
483
00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:56,325
♪ Tomorrow will be so sunny
484
00:18:56,336 --> 00:19:01,506
♪ Bet a bunch of money
that it's sunny ♪
485
00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:03,838
♪ On that day
486
00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:06,013
Ruff! We're under attack!
487
00:19:06,012 --> 00:19:07,452
The Martians
have landed!
488
00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:09,747
And they've got
space AIDS!
489
00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:12,279
Looks like we have no choice.
490
00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:15,685
I'm finally gonna meet you,
Mom and Dad.
491
00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:17,418
In hell!
492
00:19:17,423 --> 00:19:19,993
(rumbling boom)
493
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:24,500
♪ Tomorrow, tomorrow
494
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:27,627
♪ There is no tomorrow
495
00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:33,474
♪ The world just
got blown away. ♪
496
00:19:33,473 --> 00:19:35,773
(lights crackling)
497
00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:38,175
(cheering)
498
00:19:42,314 --> 00:19:44,524
Whoo! Yeah! Whoo-hoo!
499
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:45,847
Careful.
500
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,352
That's a lot of
sudden movement.
501
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:51,193
You know, for the baby
that's under your shirt.
502
00:19:53,959 --> 00:19:55,289
My water broke.
503
00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:56,455
So we're really
doing this?
504
00:19:56,462 --> 00:19:58,562
I guess we are.
505
00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:03,333
(screams)
Push!
506
00:20:03,336 --> 00:20:04,666
(groans)
Push!
507
00:20:04,671 --> 00:20:05,971
(screams)
508
00:20:05,972 --> 00:20:07,312
Oh, the pain!
509
00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:08,567
It's so real.
510
00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:10,705
Give me more morphine.
511
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:12,680
Um, you've had kind of a lot.
512
00:20:12,679 --> 00:20:15,479
Especially considering there's
just a couch cushion in there.
513
00:20:15,481 --> 00:20:17,151
Aha! Liar!
514
00:20:17,150 --> 00:20:18,580
You were never pregnant!
515
00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:20,815
You're the liar!
You had a vasectomy!
516
00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:22,190
If I may interject...
517
00:20:22,188 --> 00:20:23,248
you're both
terrible people
518
00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:24,716
who should not
have any children.
519
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,394
In fact, I am not
even comfortable
520
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:27,732
sending that cushion
home with you.
521
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,427
Shh, shh, shh.
522
00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:30,929
You're with Daddy now.
523
00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:32,500
Oh, he's right.
524
00:20:32,498 --> 00:20:34,498
I'm exhausted just pretending
to have been pregnant.
525
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:36,500
I'm 42 years old.
Ugh.
526
00:20:36,502 --> 00:20:38,242
What was I thinking?
527
00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:40,368
I don't have the energy
to have another baby.
528
00:20:40,373 --> 00:20:42,513
Plus, I gained 20 pounds.
529
00:20:42,508 --> 00:20:43,838
Higher, Bob.
530
00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:45,743
Yeah, I'm always tired.
531
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:47,445
That baby would've died.
532
00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:50,353
What do you say,
instead of a baby,
533
00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:52,120
we just get a couple hammocks
for the side yard?
534
00:20:52,118 --> 00:20:53,748
Ooh! Or maybe one
of those big ones
535
00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:56,253
we can lie in together.
Or maybe a couple one-person ones.
536
00:20:56,303 --> 00:21:00,853
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