Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,402 --> 00:00:04,552
♪ My name is Cleveland Brown
2
00:00:04,555 --> 00:00:06,815
♪ And I am proud to be
3
00:00:06,823 --> 00:00:09,063
♪ Right back
In my hometown ♪
4
00:00:09,060 --> 00:00:11,590
♪ With my new family
5
00:00:11,595 --> 00:00:13,805
♪ There's old friends
And new friends ♪
6
00:00:13,814 --> 00:00:16,214
♪ And even a bear
7
00:00:16,216 --> 00:00:18,416
♪ Through good times
And bad times ♪
8
00:00:18,418 --> 00:00:20,018
♪ It's true love we share ♪
9
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:22,150
♪ And so I found a place
10
00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:24,386
♪ Where everyone will know
11
00:00:24,392 --> 00:00:26,762
♪ My happy mustache face
12
00:00:26,761 --> 00:00:28,791
♪ This is The Cleveland Show ♪
13
00:00:28,796 --> 00:00:30,926
[LAUGHS]
14
00:00:30,931 --> 00:00:33,371
[♪]
15
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,297
Holt,
what's up with the hair?
16
00:00:35,302 --> 00:00:36,372
Thanks for noticing.
17
00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:37,520
Hair growth shots.
18
00:00:37,521 --> 00:00:39,121
There's side effects,
anal leakage.
19
00:00:39,123 --> 00:00:41,693
No problem.
Tampons work for guys too.
20
00:00:41,691 --> 00:00:43,441
Our friend, Holt.
21
00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:45,114
Ahoy, shipmates.
22
00:00:45,112 --> 00:00:46,812
I'm here to announce
that our boat
23
00:00:46,814 --> 00:00:49,084
for the river race
is officially ready.
24
00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:53,142
Okay, we got, uh, me, Lester
and, uh, Rachel Maddow here.
25
00:00:53,137 --> 00:00:55,567
So all we need now
is a fourth guy for our boat,
26
00:00:55,573 --> 00:00:58,843
and we'll be tasting free beer
at the Stool for a year.
27
00:00:58,842 --> 00:01:00,262
[CLEVELAND CLEARS THROAT]
28
00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:02,700
We didn't, uh,
ask you, Cleveland,
29
00:01:02,697 --> 00:01:04,497
because of what,
uh, Lester said.
30
00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:05,998
Oh?
31
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,280
You're a jackass,
bear, you know that?
32
00:01:08,286 --> 00:01:11,496
What I had said was that
maybe we ought not to ask you,
33
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:13,735
because most of your blacks,
not all,
34
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:16,180
not all, don't like boats.
35
00:01:16,177 --> 00:01:17,377
Water, neither.
36
00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:19,838
No, it's ice skating
we don't like.
37
00:01:19,846 --> 00:01:20,976
Oh.
38
00:01:20,981 --> 00:01:22,951
I'll race with you sumbitches.
39
00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:24,820
We are so going
to win this thing.
40
00:01:24,819 --> 00:01:26,949
Free beer for a year
at the Stool.
41
00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:28,294
Oh, I'm leaking.
42
00:01:31,791 --> 00:01:34,261
[♪]
43
00:01:36,129 --> 00:01:38,059
Why is it so damn hot in here?
44
00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:39,255
And cold?
45
00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:41,596
Why is so damn hot
and cold in here?
46
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:45,342
Oh, baby, you're burning up.
Let me take your temperature.
47
00:01:45,338 --> 00:01:48,008
Oh, boy, here it comes.
48
00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:50,708
No, honey. Remember,
we don't do it that way anymore.
49
00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:52,511
Praise the Lord.
50
00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:53,713
[THERMOMETER BEEPS]
51
00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:57,024
Sweet beets
and peanut meat, 102.
52
00:01:57,018 --> 00:01:58,818
We're getting you
to bed right now.
53
00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:01,149
No, I can't be sick now.
54
00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:04,055
I got to be at school.
I got two ducks to color in.
55
00:02:04,058 --> 00:02:06,558
I'm supposed to learn
how to make a lower-case G.
56
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,030
And I'm line leader, Mama.
57
00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:10,828
If those kids are crooked,
it's on my head.
58
00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:11,961
I'm sorry, baby.
59
00:02:11,966 --> 00:02:14,226
You are staying home
till you get over this thing.
60
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:17,135
The hell I am.
61
00:02:17,138 --> 00:02:19,848
Now, I am going to school
because I feel perfectly--
62
00:02:19,856 --> 00:02:22,816
Aah! Unh!
63
00:02:22,826 --> 00:02:24,126
Oh, God.
64
00:02:24,127 --> 00:02:27,027
God, please get me
out of this. Aah!
65
00:02:27,030 --> 00:02:30,300
Oh, God, please?
I'm sorry for everything.
66
00:02:30,301 --> 00:02:33,341
I just want to feel better. Aah!
67
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,784
You got your four stations.
68
00:02:42,779 --> 00:02:45,009
Hand cranks work
in conjunction with the pedals.
69
00:02:45,015 --> 00:02:47,265
It's the same engineering
as a Geo Metro,
70
00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:48,967
but less embarrassing to drive.
71
00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:01,579
Lester, don't take
this the wrong way,
72
00:03:01,581 --> 00:03:04,051
but if we lose the chance
to win free beer
73
00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:05,121
because of your boat,
74
00:03:05,119 --> 00:03:06,549
I will eat you.
75
00:03:06,553 --> 00:03:08,853
We just need to pedal
in a pattern.
76
00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:12,386
Left, left, left, right, left,
77
00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:15,762
right, right, right,
right, right, right, left.
78
00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:17,132
Breathe.
79
00:03:17,131 --> 00:03:18,301
Repeat.
80
00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:21,429
ALL:
Left, left, left, right, left,
81
00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:26,565
right, right, right,
right, right, right, left.
82
00:03:26,573 --> 00:03:29,213
[♪]
83
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,639
Three dudes who are
right about everything,
84
00:03:31,646 --> 00:03:34,476
Kutcher, Jim Rome,
Cleveland Brown.
85
00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:36,621
I move to make Cleveland
the captain of our team.
86
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:38,417
I second.
87
00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:42,219
Couldn't vote for one in '08,
can't do it now.
88
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,522
Yo, Cleveland,
we got an installation
89
00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:46,415
up in Stoolbend Estates.
90
00:03:46,426 --> 00:03:49,006
Oh, like a multimedia
piece of art?
91
00:03:49,012 --> 00:03:51,712
What?
Ha-ha-ha. I'm coming.
92
00:03:51,715 --> 00:03:54,275
[♪]
93
00:03:54,284 --> 00:03:57,404
Hello?
SHADWELL: Come on in.
94
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,944
[ANNOUNCER SPEAKING
INDISTINCTLY ON TV]
95
00:04:01,607 --> 00:04:05,107
Someone is living la vida richa.
96
00:04:05,112 --> 00:04:06,412
SHADWELL:
I'm back here.
97
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,998
What's up, fellas?
98
00:04:11,267 --> 00:04:13,167
Smells awful in here.
99
00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:17,410
No. It smells like
four Super Bowl rings in here.
100
00:04:17,407 --> 00:04:18,907
I don't mean to stare,
101
00:04:18,909 --> 00:04:20,779
but you're Barry Shadwell,
102
00:04:20,778 --> 00:04:22,408
the only guy from Stoolbend
103
00:04:22,412 --> 00:04:24,352
ever to make it to the NFL.
104
00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:26,177
You were my boyhood idol.
105
00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:30,273
Well, you and Gene Gene
the Dancing Machine.
106
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:34,270
[SINGING "GENE GENE
THE DANCING MACHINE" THEME]
107
00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:39,364
Hey, that's pretty good.
108
00:04:39,363 --> 00:04:41,133
Would you mind reaching
in that cabinet
109
00:04:41,131 --> 00:04:42,231
and grabbing me some TP?
110
00:04:42,232 --> 00:04:44,502
I would be honored.
111
00:04:44,501 --> 00:04:46,471
What brings you to Stoolbend?
112
00:04:46,469 --> 00:04:49,189
A U-Haul and a late period.
Ha-ha-ha, I'm just kidding.
113
00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:51,819
I use Mayflower.
Hey, how's that TP coming?
114
00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:54,785
Here you go.
115
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,405
Touch-Brown.
116
00:04:56,413 --> 00:04:58,933
[♪]
117
00:04:58,931 --> 00:05:01,651
Just breathe into the bag, baby.
118
00:05:01,650 --> 00:05:02,950
Now, tell me what happened.
119
00:05:02,951 --> 00:05:05,251
I met Barry Shadwell.
120
00:05:05,253 --> 00:05:06,793
Pittsburgh Steelers.
121
00:05:06,789 --> 00:05:08,519
You know, the king
of the late hit.
122
00:05:08,524 --> 00:05:10,064
I have his book.
123
00:05:10,058 --> 00:05:13,928
I Never Understood the Rules:The Barry Shadwell Story.
124
00:05:13,929 --> 00:05:16,299
Did you say you met
Barry Shadwell?
125
00:05:16,298 --> 00:05:17,958
I didn't know
you like football.
126
00:05:17,966 --> 00:05:19,966
Football? He's an actor.
127
00:05:19,968 --> 00:05:21,838
He could help me
get into showbiz.
128
00:05:21,837 --> 00:05:24,567
Remember his pasta sauce
commercials?
129
00:05:24,573 --> 00:05:27,373
Say, your dinner need
a late hit?
130
00:05:27,375 --> 00:05:29,675
That's how you tackle
a hungry crowd.
131
00:05:29,678 --> 00:05:33,578
Mm. That's not just good,
that's Barry good.
132
00:05:33,582 --> 00:05:36,802
So get yourself
a sack, of sauce.
133
00:05:36,802 --> 00:05:41,442
Shadwell's, the only pasta sauce
that comes in a sack.
134
00:05:43,340 --> 00:05:46,240
And then during nap time,
the cops busted in,
135
00:05:46,244 --> 00:05:47,744
and arrested the music teacher
136
00:05:47,745 --> 00:05:50,575
for peddling files
or something like that.
137
00:05:50,582 --> 00:05:52,682
Then we found
a whole bunch of popcorn
138
00:05:52,684 --> 00:05:54,384
in the bathroom and ate it.
139
00:05:54,386 --> 00:05:58,086
Oh, man, I had to get sick
on the best day ever.
140
00:05:58,090 --> 00:05:59,760
So how are you feeling, man?
141
00:05:59,758 --> 00:06:00,918
Not good.
142
00:06:00,925 --> 00:06:02,755
In case I don't make
it through this,
143
00:06:02,761 --> 00:06:06,401
Walt, you get my afro pick,
my bullet collection,
144
00:06:06,398 --> 00:06:08,168
and my picture of a boob.
145
00:06:08,167 --> 00:06:10,427
Julius, you get nothing.
146
00:06:10,435 --> 00:06:12,365
I think we both know why.
147
00:06:18,209 --> 00:06:20,339
Your cable's working just fine.
148
00:06:20,345 --> 00:06:21,605
Well, thanks, Cleveland.
149
00:06:21,613 --> 00:06:23,983
It was awfully nice of you
to check it out.
150
00:06:23,982 --> 00:06:26,422
Though nothing's wrong with it
and I didn't call.
151
00:06:26,418 --> 00:06:29,218
Why would you have?
Huh?
152
00:06:30,737 --> 00:06:32,267
[GRUNTS]
153
00:06:32,274 --> 00:06:34,324
Put on a helmet, damn it.
154
00:06:34,325 --> 00:06:36,125
I told you,
pain is the only thing
155
00:06:36,127 --> 00:06:38,127
that reminds me I'm alive.
156
00:06:38,129 --> 00:06:40,059
[CRASHING]
157
00:06:40,065 --> 00:06:42,025
That's my ex-stepson,
Larry.
158
00:06:42,034 --> 00:06:44,204
What he needs is a girlfriend.
159
00:06:44,202 --> 00:06:47,072
Well, I could fix him up
with my stepdaughter Roberta.
160
00:06:47,072 --> 00:06:49,042
She loves white idiots.
161
00:06:49,041 --> 00:06:51,111
I can see it now.
162
00:06:51,109 --> 00:06:53,379
[MENDELSSOHN'S
"WEDDING MARCH" PLAYING]
163
00:06:56,263 --> 00:06:58,933
[NFL THEME SONG PLAYING]
164
00:06:58,934 --> 00:07:03,094
After further review, I now
pronounce you husband and wife.
165
00:07:03,088 --> 00:07:05,518
You may kiss the bride
and by rule,
166
00:07:05,524 --> 00:07:08,064
you may have contact
beginning tonight.
167
00:07:08,060 --> 00:07:09,330
First down.
168
00:07:10,361 --> 00:07:11,781
[CROWD CHEERING]
169
00:07:11,780 --> 00:07:13,300
[GRUNTS]
170
00:07:15,516 --> 00:07:16,776
[YELPS]
171
00:07:20,321 --> 00:07:22,511
You know, Larry was gonna
be my shipmate
172
00:07:22,508 --> 00:07:24,068
for that Stoolbobber Regatta,
173
00:07:24,076 --> 00:07:26,136
but then the turdball
backed out on me.
174
00:07:26,145 --> 00:07:28,345
You look strong.
Why don't you be my partner?
175
00:07:28,347 --> 00:07:29,847
Unless you got other plans.
176
00:07:29,848 --> 00:07:31,608
Well, actually--
177
00:07:31,616 --> 00:07:33,616
Don't screw over
your friends, Cleveland.
178
00:07:33,618 --> 00:07:35,588
Oh, hi, miniature Daryl Hall.
179
00:07:35,587 --> 00:07:37,087
The guys are counting on you.
180
00:07:37,089 --> 00:07:38,689
You can't just abandon
your friends
181
00:07:38,690 --> 00:07:40,210
for a better opportunity.
182
00:07:40,208 --> 00:07:42,408
Oh, look at Mr. Solo-Album
183
00:07:42,411 --> 00:07:44,511
talking
about abandoning friends.
184
00:07:44,513 --> 00:07:47,053
If Barry Shadwell
had wanted to be my partner,
185
00:07:47,048 --> 00:07:49,078
you wouldn't be listening
to Hall & Oates,
186
00:07:49,083 --> 00:07:51,523
you'd be listening
to Shadwell & Oates.
187
00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:53,440
Really?
This is your hypothetical,
188
00:07:53,438 --> 00:07:55,708
and you'd still
put Shadwell's name first?
189
00:07:55,707 --> 00:07:58,707
You're pathetic.
Kiss my ass, Hall.
190
00:07:58,710 --> 00:08:00,360
Oh, what am I gonna do?
191
00:08:00,362 --> 00:08:03,332
Well, if you abandon your
friends, then in my opinion...
192
00:08:03,331 --> 00:08:05,971
BOTH:
♪ You're a bitch, girl And you've gone too far ♪
193
00:08:05,967 --> 00:08:09,397
♪ Because you know
It don't matter anyway ♪
194
00:08:09,404 --> 00:08:11,644
Those little hit-makers
are right.
195
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:13,810
It doesn't matter anyway.
196
00:08:13,808 --> 00:08:15,508
Nothing matters.
197
00:08:15,510 --> 00:08:17,080
Nothing at all.
198
00:08:17,078 --> 00:08:19,908
So I guess I'll race with you.
199
00:08:22,133 --> 00:08:23,933
Dude, hide the eggs, bro.
200
00:08:23,936 --> 00:08:25,766
They're my nuggets,
and I can tan them up
201
00:08:25,770 --> 00:08:27,600
whenever I damn well please.
202
00:08:27,605 --> 00:08:30,005
Oh, hey, guys. Great news.
203
00:08:30,008 --> 00:08:31,968
Cle-bro. Check it out.
204
00:08:33,327 --> 00:08:35,207
Wow, you named
the boat after me.
205
00:08:35,213 --> 00:08:37,383
Oh, that's so nice.
206
00:08:37,382 --> 00:08:39,922
But I've met someone.
207
00:08:39,918 --> 00:08:42,128
Hey, Cleveland. You ready to go?
208
00:08:42,136 --> 00:08:43,796
Holy crap, it's Al Roker.
209
00:08:43,805 --> 00:08:46,305
That's Barry Shadwell,
you idiot.
210
00:08:46,308 --> 00:08:48,578
My friend Barry Shadwell.
211
00:08:48,577 --> 00:08:50,227
I want to get him
to sign this paddle.
212
00:08:50,229 --> 00:08:53,999
Uh, I'll suggest "Oars truly,"
but it is up to him.
213
00:08:53,999 --> 00:08:55,599
Uh, at the end of the day.
214
00:08:55,601 --> 00:08:59,341
And, um, maybe I'll say,
"Canoe sign this?"
215
00:08:59,338 --> 00:09:00,888
Shut the fuck up, Tim.
216
00:09:00,888 --> 00:09:03,858
Yeah, you don't ask Barry
Shadwell to sign a paddle.
217
00:09:03,858 --> 00:09:06,058
You ask him to sign
your scuba flipper.
218
00:09:06,060 --> 00:09:09,500
Oh, I'm so glad you guys
are down with Barry Shadwell,
219
00:09:09,497 --> 00:09:11,327
and will thus be understanding
220
00:09:11,332 --> 00:09:13,672
that I'm gonna race
with him in the regatta.
221
00:09:13,669 --> 00:09:15,839
Yay, awesome.
222
00:09:15,837 --> 00:09:17,587
Well, how is
that awesome for us?
223
00:09:17,588 --> 00:09:20,988
Your friend gets to ride
on a boat with his hero.
224
00:09:20,992 --> 00:09:22,992
Sweet.
225
00:09:22,994 --> 00:09:25,804
Hooray.
226
00:09:28,119 --> 00:09:30,349
[♪]
227
00:09:30,356 --> 00:09:33,386
Hey, my ninjas,
what's the haps?
228
00:09:33,392 --> 00:09:36,692
Well, Cleveland, it's just
the whole Barry Shadwell thing,
229
00:09:36,695 --> 00:09:39,155
uh, just kind of makes us
feel like we're second-class--
230
00:09:39,165 --> 00:09:40,325
[PHONE RINGS]
231
00:09:40,333 --> 00:09:42,773
Oh, hey. Barry Shadwell.
232
00:09:42,768 --> 00:09:44,728
No, I'm not doing anything.
233
00:09:44,736 --> 00:09:46,266
No one important.
234
00:09:46,272 --> 00:09:48,812
A redneck, a midget,
and a bear.
235
00:09:48,807 --> 00:09:49,937
[LAUGHS]
236
00:09:49,942 --> 00:09:51,942
No, not a Chicago Bear.
237
00:09:51,944 --> 00:09:55,584
Ha-ha-ha. Barry Shadwell.
238
00:09:55,580 --> 00:09:57,970
[♪]
239
00:09:57,967 --> 00:10:01,397
You see, what I've done is,
I've acted out all the parts
240
00:10:01,403 --> 00:10:03,403
in the last three episodes
of 'Til Death,
241
00:10:03,405 --> 00:10:05,305
except I inserted jokes.
242
00:10:05,307 --> 00:10:07,917
That sounds really great.
I think I auditioned for that.
243
00:10:07,926 --> 00:10:10,186
That was one
of the over 10,000 parts
244
00:10:10,196 --> 00:10:11,896
my agent said I almost got.
245
00:10:11,897 --> 00:10:14,227
Hey, you know who would love
to see this? Larry.
246
00:10:14,233 --> 00:10:16,033
Hey, Larry,
get your ass in here.
247
00:10:16,035 --> 00:10:17,465
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
248
00:10:19,354 --> 00:10:21,024
Roberta here made
a little video.
249
00:10:21,023 --> 00:10:23,063
Why don't you two watch
it on the big screen
250
00:10:23,058 --> 00:10:24,658
in the master bedroom.
251
00:10:24,659 --> 00:10:25,489
What?
252
00:10:25,494 --> 00:10:26,734
You know, maybe the two of us
253
00:10:26,728 --> 00:10:29,358
could fool around a little.
254
00:10:29,365 --> 00:10:30,695
Fool around?
255
00:10:30,699 --> 00:10:35,099
The only "fool around"
here is you.
256
00:10:35,104 --> 00:10:37,344
Well, we may as well
watch her demo.
257
00:10:40,274 --> 00:10:42,444
I can't believeyou're going to spend
258
00:10:42,445 --> 00:10:45,275
our anniversarywatching football.
259
00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:49,918
Did you wanna watch basketball?
260
00:10:49,919 --> 00:10:52,189
[LAUGH TRACK]
261
00:10:53,221 --> 00:10:56,321
I'll show you a basketball.
262
00:10:56,325 --> 00:10:58,485
[AUDIENCE JEERS ON TV]
263
00:10:58,494 --> 00:11:01,014
I was on
Everybody Loves Raymond.
264
00:11:01,013 --> 00:11:02,853
AUDIENCE:
Aw.
265
00:11:02,848 --> 00:11:05,548
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
266
00:11:05,550 --> 00:11:07,840
[♪]
267
00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:11,813
Roberta, what's wrong?
What's wrong?
268
00:11:11,807 --> 00:11:14,007
Here I am, innocently
trying to exploit
269
00:11:14,009 --> 00:11:15,809
Cleveland's celebrity
connection,
270
00:11:15,811 --> 00:11:18,411
and the whole time,
he's just trying to pimp me out.
271
00:11:18,414 --> 00:11:21,324
RALLO [OVER INTERCOM]:
First good ideayou had since you showed up.
272
00:11:21,317 --> 00:11:22,747
What the hell was that?
273
00:11:22,751 --> 00:11:24,521
It's Rallo.
I got him an intercom
274
00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:25,890
so he doesn't feel left out.
275
00:11:25,887 --> 00:11:27,747
RALLO:
So how much we gettingfor the girl?
276
00:11:27,756 --> 00:11:29,356
Shut up, Rallo.
277
00:11:29,358 --> 00:11:30,908
RALLO:
Hey, that's my connection
278
00:11:30,910 --> 00:11:32,480
to the outside world.
279
00:11:32,477 --> 00:11:35,147
I exist. Rallo.
280
00:11:35,147 --> 00:11:38,677
Cleveland, I think you
owe Roberta an apology.
281
00:11:38,683 --> 00:11:40,233
Okay. I'm sorry.
282
00:11:40,235 --> 00:11:42,795
Look, maybe I pushed things
a little too fast,
283
00:11:42,805 --> 00:11:45,965
so let's just slow it down
with a nice dinner for you,
284
00:11:45,975 --> 00:11:47,935
me, Barry and Larry.
285
00:11:47,943 --> 00:11:51,853
B-Shad and I already took the
liberty of making reservations.
286
00:11:51,847 --> 00:11:53,407
You're going
to that dinner alone.
287
00:11:53,415 --> 00:11:56,575
My daughter is not for sale
like some Chinese baby.
288
00:11:56,585 --> 00:11:57,885
[BELL CLANGS]
289
00:11:57,887 --> 00:11:59,237
This is a dream come true.
290
00:11:59,238 --> 00:12:01,208
We're so excited
to pick up May Ling.
291
00:12:01,207 --> 00:12:02,557
Well, here she is.
292
00:12:02,558 --> 00:12:04,588
[CRIES]
293
00:12:05,860 --> 00:12:07,430
No MSG.
294
00:12:10,999 --> 00:12:13,299
What's up, Barry
and Larry Shadwell?
295
00:12:13,302 --> 00:12:15,772
Hey, Cleveland.
Where's Larry's lovely lady?
296
00:12:15,771 --> 00:12:18,771
She was murdered last night.
297
00:12:18,774 --> 00:12:23,644
Damn, I guess I'll go home
and watch Swordfish again.
298
00:12:25,247 --> 00:12:28,097
Huh. No reason the two of us
still can't have dinner.
299
00:12:28,100 --> 00:12:30,000
We're training for a regatta.
300
00:12:30,002 --> 00:12:31,772
That means boat race.
301
00:12:31,771 --> 00:12:33,351
Waiter, check this out.
302
00:12:33,356 --> 00:12:35,916
I'm having dinner
with Barry Shadwell.
303
00:12:35,925 --> 00:12:37,955
The Barry Shadwell.
304
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:39,630
I've never heard
of Barry Shadwell.
305
00:12:39,628 --> 00:12:41,858
Well, what's your name?
Frank Larson.
306
00:12:41,864 --> 00:12:44,834
Barry, have you ever heard
of Frank Larson?
307
00:12:44,833 --> 00:12:47,073
Of course. Huge fan, Frank.
308
00:12:47,069 --> 00:12:48,499
How about a steak, please?
309
00:12:48,504 --> 00:12:50,104
I'll also have a steak.
310
00:12:50,106 --> 00:12:52,966
You know what?
Just bring the whole cow.
311
00:12:56,694 --> 00:12:59,804
Steak is my second favorite
thing to eat.
312
00:12:59,798 --> 00:13:01,728
Wink, wink.
Huh?
313
00:13:01,733 --> 00:13:03,933
[CHUCKLES]
314
00:13:03,936 --> 00:13:06,196
Oh, I am drunk.
315
00:13:06,205 --> 00:13:08,365
I would not wanna be
the people driving
316
00:13:08,374 --> 00:13:10,944
on the correct side
of the highway tonight.
317
00:13:10,942 --> 00:13:12,642
Hey, I could drive you,
Cleveland.
318
00:13:12,645 --> 00:13:14,705
When you've had as many
concussions as I've had,
319
00:13:14,713 --> 00:13:17,383
alcohol no longer affects you.
320
00:13:24,438 --> 00:13:27,168
I'm sorry about Roberta.
321
00:13:27,175 --> 00:13:31,845
But if you got a niece with low
standards, I got a fat son.
322
00:13:36,151 --> 00:13:37,451
Uh-oh.
323
00:13:37,453 --> 00:13:38,953
Uh-oh.
324
00:13:38,954 --> 00:13:40,354
Uh-oh.
325
00:13:40,355 --> 00:13:41,985
Ha-ha-ha. Uh-oh.
326
00:13:41,990 --> 00:13:44,090
Here, let me get that.
327
00:13:46,094 --> 00:13:48,904
Hey, uh, you got something
in your mustache.
328
00:13:48,897 --> 00:13:52,397
What?
Me.
329
00:13:52,401 --> 00:13:54,271
[♪]
330
00:13:54,270 --> 00:13:56,500
[SCREAMS]
331
00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:01,807
What just happened?
What just happened?
332
00:14:01,810 --> 00:14:03,310
Okay, cable...
333
00:14:03,312 --> 00:14:04,452
[MUMBLES]
334
00:14:04,447 --> 00:14:05,707
...Barry Shadwell...
335
00:14:05,714 --> 00:14:06,914
Dinner, drinks, then--
336
00:14:06,915 --> 00:14:08,115
[MUMBLES]
337
00:14:08,117 --> 00:14:10,277
And then he kissed me. Oh, God.
338
00:14:10,286 --> 00:14:13,086
[GRUNTS AND GROANS]
339
00:14:13,089 --> 00:14:15,289
[VOMITS]
340
00:14:15,291 --> 00:14:18,691
[♪]
341
00:14:18,694 --> 00:14:21,014
JUNIOR: Daddy?
Aah-- Ow! What the hell, Junior?
342
00:14:21,012 --> 00:14:23,782
I saw you kiss
Mr. Shadwell last night.
343
00:14:23,782 --> 00:14:26,052
Daddy, is there something
you wish to tell me?
344
00:14:26,051 --> 00:14:28,921
What? I didn't kiss him,
he kissed me.
345
00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:31,870
Okay. But you didn't try
to stop him.
346
00:14:31,874 --> 00:14:34,664
Look, he kissed me.
I was surprised.
347
00:14:34,660 --> 00:14:36,130
It's over.
348
00:14:36,128 --> 00:14:37,258
I understand.
349
00:14:37,263 --> 00:14:40,433
So do you just like
kissing football players,
350
00:14:40,433 --> 00:14:42,603
or are all athletes fair game?
351
00:14:42,601 --> 00:14:45,841
For instance, if Hank Aaron was
here, would you kiss him?
352
00:14:45,837 --> 00:14:47,837
No.
Michael Phelps?
353
00:14:47,839 --> 00:14:49,439
Hell, no.
Ha, ha.
354
00:14:49,442 --> 00:14:51,612
Oh, Daddy,
I know you're not gay.
355
00:14:51,610 --> 00:14:53,380
You're too fat to be gay.
356
00:14:53,379 --> 00:14:55,079
And you are too.
357
00:14:55,081 --> 00:14:56,351
Love you, fatty.
358
00:14:56,348 --> 00:14:57,748
[GIGGLES]
359
00:14:57,749 --> 00:15:00,069
[♪]
360
00:15:01,602 --> 00:15:03,002
Yep, that's true.
361
00:15:03,005 --> 00:15:04,465
[DOORBELL RINGS]
362
00:15:06,041 --> 00:15:10,441
Hey, man, uh, we gotta talk.
363
00:15:10,446 --> 00:15:13,776
Look, I'm not gay.
Well, I'm not gay either.
364
00:15:13,782 --> 00:15:15,802
But it's March,
and where I come from,
365
00:15:15,801 --> 00:15:17,671
March is Prison Rules Month.
366
00:15:17,669 --> 00:15:19,949
March is?
Hey, man, it's not all my fault.
367
00:15:19,955 --> 00:15:21,645
I mean, you wanted me
to kiss you.
368
00:15:21,656 --> 00:15:24,456
What? What on Earth would make
you think that?
369
00:15:24,459 --> 00:15:25,589
You're joking, right?
370
00:15:25,594 --> 00:15:27,114
You're always staring at me,
371
00:15:27,112 --> 00:15:29,812
you know all my stats,
your voice is slightly gay,
372
00:15:29,814 --> 00:15:32,424
and your mustache is groomed
within an inch of its life.
373
00:15:32,417 --> 00:15:35,297
My mustache is for the ladies.
374
00:15:35,304 --> 00:15:38,444
Look, listen, let's forget
the kiss ever happened.
375
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:39,870
What kiss?
376
00:15:39,875 --> 00:15:42,175
JUNIOR:
When you two were on the porch the other night.
377
00:15:42,177 --> 00:15:43,607
[IN UNISON]
Shut up.
378
00:15:43,612 --> 00:15:46,052
JUNIOR:
Don't tell me to shut up, banana slammers.
379
00:15:46,047 --> 00:15:47,477
Now, look, what's done is done.
380
00:15:47,482 --> 00:15:49,622
Let's just go win
that race tomorrow.
381
00:15:49,618 --> 00:15:50,668
Uh, yeah, man.
382
00:15:50,669 --> 00:15:52,869
I'm not sure about that race.
383
00:15:52,871 --> 00:15:57,321
Why not?
You're gay.
384
00:15:59,810 --> 00:16:02,210
Darling, sit down.
I have something to tell you.
385
00:16:02,214 --> 00:16:05,154
Oh, honey, if it's that you
kissed Barry Shadwell, I know.
386
00:16:05,150 --> 00:16:06,480
What?
387
00:16:06,485 --> 00:16:08,295
Your son's been telling
the whole town.
388
00:16:08,303 --> 00:16:09,793
That fat son of a bitch.
389
00:16:09,788 --> 00:16:12,218
JUNIOR:
I may be fat, but I don't kiss boys.
390
00:16:12,224 --> 00:16:13,524
[SHOUTS]
391
00:16:13,526 --> 00:16:14,726
[LAUGHS]
392
00:16:14,727 --> 00:16:17,557
Oh, D-na.
What are we gonna do?
393
00:16:17,563 --> 00:16:19,433
What?
What did you call me?
394
00:16:19,431 --> 00:16:20,701
[MUMBLES]
395
00:16:20,699 --> 00:16:21,929
D-na?
396
00:16:21,934 --> 00:16:23,404
Cleveland, what's my name?
397
00:16:23,402 --> 00:16:25,592
Huh?
Cleveland, listen up.
398
00:16:25,587 --> 00:16:27,247
You're acting
like a homophobe.
399
00:16:27,256 --> 00:16:29,116
That's as bad
as being a racist.
400
00:16:29,124 --> 00:16:32,194
No, it isn't. I don't wanna kiss
a white man either.
401
00:16:32,194 --> 00:16:33,914
Look, honey,
it's just sexuality.
402
00:16:33,912 --> 00:16:35,882
We're all somewhere on the grid.
403
00:16:35,881 --> 00:16:38,281
I know you're not gay.
You know you're not gay.
404
00:16:38,283 --> 00:16:39,923
Everyone knows you're not gay.
405
00:16:39,918 --> 00:16:42,588
But I'd rather have
everyone think you were gay,
406
00:16:42,588 --> 00:16:45,688
than think you were a bigot.
407
00:16:45,691 --> 00:16:47,461
Donna.
408
00:16:47,459 --> 00:16:50,289
[♪]
409
00:16:50,295 --> 00:16:53,625
Well, it's a beautiful day
here in Stoolbend, Angus.
410
00:16:53,631 --> 00:16:56,921
Perfect weather for the 35th
Annual Stoolbobber Regatta.
411
00:16:56,918 --> 00:16:59,648
We should have convinced
the station to cover this.
412
00:16:59,654 --> 00:17:02,324
Good practice, though.
Great practice.
413
00:17:03,775 --> 00:17:07,135
Hey, uh, thanks for filling in
at the last minute, Kendra.
414
00:17:07,145 --> 00:17:09,745
You're a regular Dick Sargent.
415
00:17:09,748 --> 00:17:12,398
I just hope we see a mermaid.
416
00:17:12,401 --> 00:17:14,571
Yeah, I saw a mermaid once.
Nailed her.
417
00:17:14,569 --> 00:17:15,899
Turned out it was a sea bass.
418
00:17:15,904 --> 00:17:18,374
Whatever. They all look
the same on a bed of ice.
419
00:17:18,373 --> 00:17:21,243
What do you say
we win this race.
420
00:17:21,242 --> 00:17:23,242
I'm here. I can steer.
421
00:17:23,245 --> 00:17:24,575
Get used to it.
422
00:17:24,580 --> 00:17:26,980
Cleveland. I could kiss you.
423
00:17:26,982 --> 00:17:28,082
Ha-ha-ha. Uh-uh.
424
00:17:28,083 --> 00:17:29,923
Boaters, take your marks.
425
00:17:29,918 --> 00:17:31,918
[♪]
426
00:17:37,558 --> 00:17:39,388
[CHUCKLES]
427
00:17:39,395 --> 00:17:41,275
And go.
428
00:17:42,947 --> 00:17:44,307
[MAN SCREAMS]
429
00:17:46,016 --> 00:17:47,216
They're off.
430
00:17:47,218 --> 00:17:48,748
And immediately, all the boats
431
00:17:48,754 --> 00:17:50,824
we don't care about
are out of the race.
432
00:17:50,823 --> 00:17:54,323
The breeze is picking up,
so don't expect smooth sailing.
433
00:17:54,326 --> 00:17:56,286
Great farting weather,
though.
434
00:17:57,728 --> 00:17:59,508
My Cheez-Its.
435
00:17:59,515 --> 00:18:02,275
Kendra, no. We need you
for balance.
436
00:18:09,540 --> 00:18:11,140
Gentlemen,
it has been a privilege
437
00:18:11,142 --> 00:18:12,242
playing with you tonight.
438
00:18:12,243 --> 00:18:14,913
[PLAYING VIOLIN]
439
00:18:14,913 --> 00:18:17,863
That wind has caused
a real chop in the water.
440
00:18:17,866 --> 00:18:22,016
Bad news for notoriously
bisexual Barry Shadwell,
441
00:18:22,021 --> 00:18:26,491
and his boyfriend du jour,
Cleveland Brown.
442
00:18:26,491 --> 00:18:28,191
We're veering off course.
443
00:18:28,193 --> 00:18:29,393
The tiller line broke.
444
00:18:29,394 --> 00:18:31,144
What about the spindlewick?
445
00:18:31,145 --> 00:18:33,955
No, it's tangled
in the flange toggle.
446
00:18:33,966 --> 00:18:36,376
Then what's the reading
on the flicker gauge?
447
00:18:36,384 --> 00:18:38,604
Sixty wampashears.
448
00:18:38,604 --> 00:18:41,094
Prepare to scuttle
the mizzen-flume.
449
00:18:41,090 --> 00:18:43,260
The mizzen-flume.
450
00:18:46,944 --> 00:18:50,484
Aah! Cleveland.
I'm going overboard.
451
00:18:50,482 --> 00:18:53,222
[BOTH GRUNTING]
452
00:18:56,220 --> 00:18:58,040
[ALL GASPING]
453
00:18:58,039 --> 00:19:00,639
[CONTINUES GRUNTING]
454
00:19:01,726 --> 00:19:03,026
Cleveland, help me.
455
00:19:03,028 --> 00:19:05,028
They're slipping
through my hands.
456
00:19:05,030 --> 00:19:06,850
[MUMBLES]
457
00:19:06,848 --> 00:19:08,378
[BOTH GRUNT]
458
00:19:08,383 --> 00:19:10,983
Hand me that rope,
and I'll tie down the tiller.
459
00:19:10,986 --> 00:19:12,646
How am I supposed to reach it?
460
00:19:12,654 --> 00:19:15,124
Use your mouth
and pass it to me.
461
00:19:18,826 --> 00:19:20,236
[ALL GASPING]
462
00:19:20,245 --> 00:19:23,105
Oh, what the hell.
463
00:19:34,241 --> 00:19:36,241
We won.
At what cost?
464
00:19:38,612 --> 00:19:40,882
Listen, I've been thinking--
I just wanted to say--
465
00:19:40,882 --> 00:19:42,282
Please, you go first.
466
00:19:42,283 --> 00:19:43,553
Well, I've been thinking.
467
00:19:43,552 --> 00:19:46,552
We had some fun,
but it got pretty weird.
468
00:19:46,555 --> 00:19:49,255
So it's probably best
if one of us leaves this town,
469
00:19:49,257 --> 00:19:51,217
and since I've only been
here like six days
470
00:19:51,226 --> 00:19:54,356
and you've been here for,
like, a year or something,
471
00:19:54,363 --> 00:19:55,563
I think I should go.
472
00:19:55,564 --> 00:19:57,034
Friends?
473
00:19:57,032 --> 00:20:00,202
Without benefits.
474
00:20:00,202 --> 00:20:02,492
[♪]
475
00:20:02,487 --> 00:20:04,417
Hey, fellas.
476
00:20:04,422 --> 00:20:08,832
Listen, I know I let you guys
down and I'm sorry.
477
00:20:08,827 --> 00:20:10,887
Denied.
Screw you, traitor.
478
00:20:10,896 --> 00:20:13,956
Oh, and you, Tim?
What of Tim?
479
00:20:13,966 --> 00:20:16,296
God forgives, I don't.
480
00:20:16,301 --> 00:20:18,481
Would it make any difference
if I gave you all,
481
00:20:18,486 --> 00:20:20,986
my "free beer for a year"
coupons?
482
00:20:23,407 --> 00:20:25,777
It would make
a significant difference.
483
00:20:25,777 --> 00:20:27,307
Well, all right, then.
484
00:20:27,312 --> 00:20:32,382
For the next year,
the beers are on me.
485
00:20:32,384 --> 00:20:34,254
I'm done with beer, anyway.
486
00:20:34,252 --> 00:20:36,392
Hello? Carb city.
487
00:20:36,388 --> 00:20:38,958
Population, my thighs.
488
00:20:38,957 --> 00:20:41,687
What does that mean, Cleveland?
I don't know.
489
00:20:41,693 --> 00:20:43,883
What's happening to me?
490
00:20:45,696 --> 00:20:47,696
[♪]
491
00:21:18,729 --> 00:21:21,699
[English - US - Line 21]
492
00:21:21,749 --> 00:21:26,299
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
34582
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
