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1
00:00:09,167 --> 00:00:11,185
Oh, my God!
2
00:00:11,186 --> 00:00:13,344
Rosa's wearing pink!
Rosa's wearing pink!
3
00:00:13,345 --> 00:00:14,622
Are we sure it's not a white shirt
00:00:14,625 --> 00:00:17,122
that just been bloodied on a
motorcycle crash?
4
00:00:17,123 --> 00:00:19,287
Maybe it wasn't her.
If he had a twin sister...
5
00:00:19,288 --> 00:00:20,956
If Rosa had a twin,
6
00:00:20,957 --> 00:00:22,724
she would have eaten her
in the womb.
7
00:00:22,725 --> 00:00:24,292
Wait. Hold it. Stop.
8
00:00:24,293 --> 00:00:25,861
How come none of you
teased her about it?
9
00:00:25,862 --> 00:00:27,562
It's Rosa.
She's scary.
10
00:00:27,597 --> 00:00:29,264
You guys are unbelievable.
11
00:00:29,265 --> 00:00:31,299
I once wore a tie
with a splash of purple.
12
00:00:31,300 --> 00:00:33,368
You guys called me Mr. Grapes
for two years.
13
00:00:33,369 --> 00:00:35,537
Oh, Mr. Grapes.
14
00:00:35,538 --> 00:00:37,239
I forgot about Mr. Grapes.
15
00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:39,741
If I wore a pink shirt,
you'd tear me to shreds.
16
00:00:39,742 --> 00:00:42,511
Well, yeah, but you'd look like
a My Little Pony with a gun.
17
00:00:42,545 --> 00:00:43,745
Let me guess.
18
00:00:43,779 --> 00:00:45,614
Your theater club
is putting on Grease,
19
00:00:45,615 --> 00:00:47,082
and you're playing
a pink lady.
20
00:00:48,551 --> 00:00:49,751
What are you guys
laughing at?
21
00:00:49,752 --> 00:00:51,253
If Boyle was wearing
a pink shirt.
22
00:00:51,254 --> 00:00:52,754
I get it.
That's hilarious.
23
00:00:52,755 --> 00:00:53,755
What's happening?
24
00:00:53,756 --> 00:00:55,524
Rosa is the one wearing pink.
25
00:00:56,592 --> 00:00:58,026
And?
26
00:00:58,027 --> 00:00:59,227
It's gorgeous.
27
00:00:59,228 --> 00:01:00,595
I wish I could pull that off
28
00:01:00,596 --> 00:01:01,930
Dream on,
Strawberry Shortcake.
29
00:01:01,931 --> 00:01:03,932
Yeah, nice try, Mr. Grapes.
30
00:01:03,933 --> 00:01:06,801
Mr. Grapes.
31
00:01:06,802 --> 00:01:08,770
Mr. Grapes!
32
00:01:08,771 --> 00:01:12,566
Sync & corrections by dzimu_kairu
33
00:01:12,567 --> 00:01:19,781
♪ ♪
34
00:01:28,791 --> 00:01:31,026
Last night, several masked men
robbed a number
35
00:01:31,027 --> 00:01:33,061
of check cashing locations
in our precinct.
36
00:01:33,095 --> 00:01:35,163
They also hit several locations
in the Nine-Three,
37
00:01:35,164 --> 00:01:37,165
so this will be
a joint investigation.
38
00:01:37,166 --> 00:01:39,634
Detective David Majors
is already on the case.
39
00:01:39,669 --> 00:01:41,703
Whoa, Dave Majors?
40
00:01:41,704 --> 00:01:42,703
Seriously?
41
00:01:42,705 --> 00:01:43,506
Who's that?
42
00:01:43,507 --> 00:01:46,675
He's The best detective in
the NYPD, myself included.
43
00:01:46,709 --> 00:01:48,810
His arrest numbers
are staggering.
44
00:01:48,811 --> 00:01:51,179
His conviction rate
is magnificent.
45
00:01:51,180 --> 00:01:53,315
He is blotter dynamite.
46
00:01:53,349 --> 00:01:54,816
I mean, I'm cool.
47
00:01:54,817 --> 00:01:56,218
I'm just hanging out
with you guys.
48
00:01:56,219 --> 00:01:58,353
Great,
but what's his body like
49
00:01:58,354 --> 00:02:00,388
on a scale from Charles
to Terry?
50
00:02:00,423 --> 00:02:01,790
Sorry, buddy.
51
00:02:01,791 --> 00:02:02,824
What?
52
00:02:02,825 --> 00:02:04,226
I'm the ten.
53
00:02:04,227 --> 00:02:05,227
Sure you are.
54
00:02:05,228 --> 00:02:07,162
Majors does just fine.
55
00:02:07,163 --> 00:02:09,564
His girlfriend is the weather
lady from Channel Five.
56
00:02:09,565 --> 00:02:11,833
You know, the one who's always
reaching for Cooperstown?
57
00:02:11,834 --> 00:02:13,201
Love her.
58
00:02:13,202 --> 00:02:14,569
Well, I need someone
to partner up with him.
59
00:02:14,570 --> 00:02:16,138
- Ooh, me, me, me, me, me.
- Oh, I'll do it.
60
00:02:16,139 --> 00:02:17,572
Sir, with all due respect,
I'm the obvious choice.
61
00:02:17,607 --> 00:02:20,375
I mean, look at me.
I'm not in profile.
62
00:02:20,376 --> 00:02:21,843
Sir, please let the record show
63
00:02:21,844 --> 00:02:23,945
that the sauce on his face
is from yesterday.
64
00:02:23,946 --> 00:02:25,380
And it is that level
of eagle-eyed observation
65
00:02:25,381 --> 00:02:26,615
that I plan to bring to...
66
00:02:26,616 --> 00:02:28,817
Enough.
You can both work the case.
67
00:02:28,851 --> 00:02:30,485
Three heads are better
than two.
68
00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:31,987
Also,
I fear any other decision I make
69
00:02:31,988 --> 00:02:33,155
will just result
in further noise.
70
00:02:33,156 --> 00:02:34,322
Good call, sir.
71
00:02:34,323 --> 00:02:36,158
I was about to start chanting,
"Vote for Jake."
72
00:02:36,159 --> 00:02:37,359
Let's do it anyway.
73
00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:39,361
Vote for Jake.
Vote for Jake.
74
00:02:39,362 --> 00:02:41,863
- Dismissed.
- Yeah.
75
00:02:41,898 --> 00:02:43,098
Code Chartreuse.
76
00:02:43,099 --> 00:02:44,599
I repeat, Code Chartreuse.
77
00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:45,634
Gina, for the last time,
78
00:02:45,635 --> 00:02:47,369
please limit your alerts
to ROY-G-BIV.
79
00:02:47,370 --> 00:02:48,537
Disappointing.
80
00:02:48,538 --> 00:02:50,138
"Code Chartreuse" means
"the recruiter
81
00:02:50,139 --> 00:02:52,340
from Copperhead Security,
Gary Shaw, is here."
82
00:02:52,341 --> 00:02:54,543
Gary Shaw has attempted
to pry me away
83
00:02:54,544 --> 00:02:56,678
from the NYPD for eight years.
84
00:02:56,679 --> 00:02:59,548
When he makes his offer,
I know just what I'll say:
85
00:02:59,582 --> 00:03:03,051
Never is not just a
crater on Mars.
86
00:03:03,085 --> 00:03:04,405
Of course, it is a
crater on Mars.
87
00:03:04,420 --> 00:03:05,520
That's hilarious.
88
00:03:05,521 --> 00:03:06,855
It's not meant to be
funny, Boyle.
89
00:03:06,856 --> 00:03:08,356
It's meant to be devastating.
90
00:03:08,357 --> 00:03:10,659
Captain Holt, good
to see you.
91
00:03:10,693 --> 00:03:13,662
Mr. Shaw, let's just
cut to the chase:
92
00:03:13,663 --> 00:03:16,565
Never is not just a
crater on Mars.
93
00:03:20,369 --> 00:03:22,037
Of course, it is a
crater on Mars.
94
00:03:22,038 --> 00:03:23,839
Well, actually, I'm
not here for you.
95
00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:25,907
A member of your squad
reached out to me,
96
00:03:25,908 --> 00:03:27,742
a Sergeant Terry Jeffords.
97
00:03:27,777 --> 00:03:29,845
Oh.
98
00:03:29,846 --> 00:03:30,912
Oh, I see.
99
00:03:30,913 --> 00:03:34,015
Well, Sergeant Jeffords
is out there.
100
00:03:34,016 --> 00:03:35,250
Thank you, Captain.
101
00:03:35,284 --> 00:03:38,286
There's my guy,
Terry the Tank.
102
00:03:38,321 --> 00:03:41,323
What? Guys. What? Guys.
103
00:03:41,324 --> 00:03:43,258
Terry called him? He's
shaking Terry's hand.
104
00:03:43,259 --> 00:03:45,460
Now I'm just describing
everything that's happening?
105
00:03:45,461 --> 00:03:46,762
What the hell is going on?
106
00:03:46,763 --> 00:03:47,996
I do not know.
107
00:03:47,997 --> 00:03:50,232
And now Captain Holt
doesn't know.
108
00:03:56,706 --> 00:04:00,142
Well, well, well,
what do we have here?
109
00:04:00,176 --> 00:04:01,843
Oh, Majors isn't here yet?
110
00:04:01,844 --> 00:04:04,379
I wasted all that coolness
on a bunch of nobodies.
111
00:04:04,413 --> 00:04:05,580
I'm just gonna reset.
112
00:04:08,484 --> 00:04:10,452
Jake, he's a
highly decorated detective.
113
00:04:10,453 --> 00:04:12,954
He's not gonna be impressed
by your sunglass choreography.
114
00:04:12,989 --> 00:04:16,124
He's gonna be too distracted
by my notebook flip.
115
00:04:16,159 --> 00:04:18,827
Shut up. Shut up.
He's here.
116
00:04:18,861 --> 00:04:20,328
Hey, you must be
the Nine-Nine.
117
00:04:20,329 --> 00:04:21,696
- I'm Majors.
- Hey. Peralta.
118
00:04:21,731 --> 00:04:24,065
This is Santiago.
119
00:04:24,066 --> 00:04:26,768
Well, well, well,
what do we have here?
120
00:04:26,769 --> 00:04:28,870
You mean here in my notebook?
121
00:04:28,905 --> 00:04:30,972
I looked into the baby masks
the perps were wearing,
122
00:04:30,973 --> 00:04:33,075
and no stores in the
tri-state area sell them.
123
00:04:33,076 --> 00:04:35,210
Reminds me of a murder I
worked a few years back.
124
00:04:35,244 --> 00:04:36,745
Perp always wore
these weird masks.
125
00:04:36,779 --> 00:04:38,499
We couldn't figure out
where he bought them.
126
00:04:38,514 --> 00:04:39,981
Turns out he was making
his own masks
127
00:04:39,982 --> 00:04:41,716
from human skin.
128
00:04:41,751 --> 00:04:43,251
No.
129
00:04:43,252 --> 00:04:44,886
That is so awesome.
130
00:04:44,887 --> 00:04:46,755
Really, Amy?
For whom?
131
00:04:46,756 --> 00:04:48,256
Sounds to me like
those face masks
132
00:04:48,257 --> 00:04:51,059
were once somebody's
face... faces.
133
00:04:51,094 --> 00:04:52,294
That's true, Peralta.
134
00:04:52,295 --> 00:04:53,695
I think about that every day.
135
00:04:53,730 --> 00:04:56,431
You and me both.
Ahh.
136
00:04:56,466 --> 00:04:59,301
Okay, I'm gonna look around,
take a few statements.
137
00:04:59,302 --> 00:05:00,335
Juicy. Juicy.
138
00:05:00,336 --> 00:05:01,870
- Good call. Good call.
- Yep, yep, yep.
139
00:05:01,871 --> 00:05:03,271
Tight, tight, tight,
tight, tight.
140
00:05:03,306 --> 00:05:05,774
Well, looks like round one
goes to Peralta.
141
00:05:05,775 --> 00:05:07,542
And don't worry;
I'm just getting warmed up.
142
00:05:07,543 --> 00:05:08,910
I still have eight
sunglass moves
143
00:05:08,911 --> 00:05:09,945
locked and loaded.
144
00:05:09,979 --> 00:05:12,681
Make that nine.
145
00:05:12,682 --> 00:05:14,516
A-whee.
146
00:05:20,556 --> 00:05:23,492
So how was lunch?
147
00:05:23,493 --> 00:05:24,659
It was good.
148
00:05:24,694 --> 00:05:26,128
I had the T-bone with...
149
00:05:26,129 --> 00:05:27,562
I don't give a crap
about the food.
150
00:05:27,563 --> 00:05:29,097
Just email me
about that later.
151
00:05:29,098 --> 00:05:30,098
What happened with Gary?
152
00:05:30,099 --> 00:05:31,933
He gave me the hard sell.
153
00:05:31,934 --> 00:05:34,836
Look at all this swag I got:
154
00:05:34,837 --> 00:05:37,239
Puffy vest, carabiner...
155
00:05:37,273 --> 00:05:38,573
Terry, carabiners suck.
156
00:05:38,574 --> 00:05:40,175
You want free stuff?
157
00:05:40,176 --> 00:05:41,576
Here you go.
All right?
158
00:05:41,577 --> 00:05:43,111
You can have anything
you want from Amy's desk.
159
00:05:43,112 --> 00:05:44,112
Yeah.
160
00:05:44,113 --> 00:05:46,481
Gary made me an offer:
161
00:05:46,482 --> 00:05:50,285
Better hours, great benefits,
a serious pay raise,
162
00:05:50,286 --> 00:05:52,821
my own office...
with walls.
163
00:05:52,855 --> 00:05:54,890
Did you tell him Terry
doesn't love walls?
164
00:05:54,891 --> 00:05:56,558
No, Terry loves walls.
165
00:05:56,592 --> 00:05:58,960
I'm seriously considering
saying yes.
166
00:05:58,961 --> 00:06:00,862
Look, I have another
kid on the way.
167
00:06:00,863 --> 00:06:02,831
Do you know how much
diapers cost?
168
00:06:02,865 --> 00:06:04,900
Yes.
169
00:06:07,770 --> 00:06:09,004
The point is,
170
00:06:09,005 --> 00:06:11,506
I'm trying to do what's best
for my family.
171
00:06:11,507 --> 00:06:13,508
- It's not just about me.
- Exactly.
172
00:06:13,543 --> 00:06:18,113
It's about me and how you are
abandoning me to these squares.
173
00:06:19,449 --> 00:06:20,549
Yikes.
174
00:06:20,550 --> 00:06:22,250
Look at all these baby masks.
175
00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:24,553
Looks like someone's due
for a spanking from Papa Law.
176
00:06:24,554 --> 00:06:25,821
Nice.
177
00:06:25,822 --> 00:06:27,923
So the van was stolen
from a rental lot
178
00:06:27,924 --> 00:06:30,892
three weeks ago and
dumped here yesterday.
179
00:06:30,893 --> 00:06:34,363
Talk about a curbside drop-off.
180
00:06:34,364 --> 00:06:37,165
We're working a case here, Amy.
It's not Showtime at the Apollo.
181
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:39,501
Great point.
Thank you so much, Jake.
182
00:06:39,535 --> 00:06:43,038
Well, I'm going to go sign
the van over to forensics.
183
00:06:44,807 --> 00:06:47,509
Hey, listen, I'm a member
of this invite-only speakeasy
184
00:06:47,543 --> 00:06:48,543
called The Keychain.
185
00:06:48,544 --> 00:06:49,911
Want to get a drink there later?
186
00:06:49,912 --> 00:06:52,147
I'd ask Amy also, but I
can only bring one guest.
187
00:06:52,148 --> 00:06:54,416
Nah, it's cool; I'm sure
she's busy tonight anyway.
188
00:06:54,417 --> 00:06:55,884
Taxes are due in eight months.
189
00:06:55,918 --> 00:06:57,452
Actually, they were due
two weeks ago.
190
00:06:57,453 --> 00:07:00,155
Well, that is a
horrible surprise.
191
00:07:00,156 --> 00:07:03,225
But the point is,
drink sounds good.
192
00:07:12,735 --> 00:07:13,902
Password?
193
00:07:13,936 --> 00:07:15,470
Tropical.
194
00:07:19,275 --> 00:07:23,979
Oh, my gah.
195
00:07:23,980 --> 00:07:26,114
This place is amazing.
196
00:07:26,115 --> 00:07:28,517
Yeah, I come here
after ever case I solve,
197
00:07:28,551 --> 00:07:29,751
which means I'm here a lot.
198
00:07:29,786 --> 00:07:31,219
Oh, nice.
199
00:07:31,220 --> 00:07:32,721
Every time I solve one,
I go get a steak dinner.
200
00:07:32,722 --> 00:07:34,356
My cholesterol is uh-terrible.
201
00:07:34,390 --> 00:07:36,358
Milo, this is my
friend Jake.
202
00:07:36,359 --> 00:07:37,659
We're working a case together.
203
00:07:37,660 --> 00:07:39,461
Yeah, and this is
my friend Dave.
204
00:07:39,462 --> 00:07:41,029
We're friends.
I'll have a...
205
00:07:41,030 --> 00:07:42,364
Oh no.
You don't order here.
206
00:07:42,398 --> 00:07:44,766
Milo makes you a drink
he knows you'll love,
207
00:07:44,767 --> 00:07:45,901
and then you love it.
208
00:07:45,935 --> 00:07:47,269
Really?
Interesting.
209
00:07:47,270 --> 00:07:50,906
Barrel Proof bourbon, neat
orange stood a chaser.
210
00:07:50,907 --> 00:07:52,441
Well, to the first
of many hangs.
211
00:07:52,475 --> 00:07:53,875
Yeah, totally.
212
00:07:53,876 --> 00:07:56,244
Listen, the reason I
brought you here is,
213
00:07:56,245 --> 00:07:58,880
I want to ask you, what's
the deal with Santiago?
214
00:07:58,915 --> 00:08:00,115
Amy?
Oh, no.
215
00:08:00,116 --> 00:08:01,250
Did she do something weird?
216
00:08:01,284 --> 00:08:02,818
No, no, she's great.
217
00:08:02,819 --> 00:08:04,553
I just want to know if there's
something going on with you two.
218
00:08:04,554 --> 00:08:05,887
You know, are you together...
219
00:08:05,922 --> 00:08:07,723
Oh, no, no.
220
00:08:07,757 --> 00:08:09,258
Cool, when this case is over,
221
00:08:09,259 --> 00:08:10,259
I'm gonna ask her out.
222
00:08:10,293 --> 00:08:12,094
Oh.
223
00:08:12,095 --> 00:08:15,030
You're gonna ask out Amy
when the case ends.
224
00:08:15,031 --> 00:08:17,065
Perfect.
225
00:08:17,100 --> 00:08:18,634
Oh.
226
00:08:18,635 --> 00:08:19,901
Yeah, that's a sippin' whiskey.
227
00:08:21,838 --> 00:08:23,179
So it is.
228
00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:33,079
Seems about right.
229
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:34,447
What's wrong with you?
230
00:08:34,448 --> 00:08:38,051
You and Majors have too much fun
last night at "The Keychain?"
231
00:08:38,052 --> 00:08:40,553
Okay, it's a private bar,
not a haunted motel.
232
00:08:40,554 --> 00:08:42,622
And no,
I did not have a good time.
233
00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:44,424
Turns out he didn't want
to be best bros at all.
234
00:08:44,425 --> 00:08:46,092
He just wanted to know
if I was cool with him
235
00:08:46,093 --> 00:08:47,494
asking Amy out when
the case ended.
236
00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:48,895
I thought he was dating
that weather girl.
237
00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:50,096
No, he dumped her because she
blamed Hurricane Sandy
238
00:08:50,097 --> 00:08:51,464
on gay marriage.
239
00:08:51,465 --> 00:08:52,766
Anyways, now when
the case ends,
240
00:08:52,767 --> 00:08:55,201
Amy is gonna marry
Detective "Blotter Dynamite."
241
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:56,269
Why do you even care?
242
00:08:56,270 --> 00:08:57,637
You still like her?
243
00:08:57,638 --> 00:08:59,773
I don't know.
I mean, we're friends.
244
00:08:59,774 --> 00:09:01,941
And things have been
kind of flirty lately.
245
00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:04,144
Plus, we had this weird
romantic moment thing-y
246
00:09:04,145 --> 00:09:05,779
at Charles and Gina's
parents' wedding.
247
00:09:05,780 --> 00:09:07,514
Ugh, just say you like her.
248
00:09:07,515 --> 00:09:09,249
All right, fine,
I still like her.
249
00:09:09,250 --> 00:09:10,917
Look, I've been thinking
about asking her out
250
00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:12,419
for the last couple of
weeks, but it's hard.
251
00:09:12,420 --> 00:09:14,187
There's so much buildup
now, you know?
252
00:09:14,188 --> 00:09:15,321
Not really.
I don't ask people out.
253
00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:16,723
I just tell them
where we're going.
254
00:09:16,724 --> 00:09:18,425
Great, well, it doesn't
matter now anyway,
255
00:09:18,426 --> 00:09:19,626
'cause I told Dave
to go for it.
256
00:09:19,627 --> 00:09:20,627
That was crazy stupid.
257
00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:22,662
Sorry.
That was normal stupid.
258
00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:24,097
You should have told
him to back off.
259
00:09:24,098 --> 00:09:25,932
I can't go around telling guys
not to ask Amy out
260
00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:28,201
because I like her and I'm too
dumb to do anything about it.
261
00:09:28,202 --> 00:09:29,669
I can't make a woman's
choice for her.
262
00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:31,371
I stand with Wendy.
Did I do that right?
263
00:09:31,372 --> 00:09:32,439
- No.
- Oh.
264
00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:34,341
Look, If you want to give
her a real choice,
265
00:09:34,342 --> 00:09:37,977
you've got to let her know
that you an option.
266
00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:39,446
I think you know what
you've got to do.
267
00:09:39,447 --> 00:09:40,780
Yeah.
268
00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:42,349
Ask her out before
the case ends, right?
269
00:09:42,350 --> 00:09:43,783
I just want to be
extra clear.
270
00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:46,119
The stakes for me are through
the roof for me on this one.
271
00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:50,056
You wanted to see us?
272
00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:51,825
What are these
requisition forms?
273
00:09:51,826 --> 00:09:55,061
We are throwing Terry
a "please stay" party.
274
00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:58,765
My vision is a frozen yogurt
machine operated by Pam Grier.
275
00:09:58,766 --> 00:10:02,402
Sir, we think Sarge is going
to accept Copperhead's offer.
276
00:10:02,403 --> 00:10:03,937
I never thought
I'd say these words:
277
00:10:03,938 --> 00:10:06,239
You have to put Gina in touch
with Pam Grier.
278
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:08,174
No, Sergeant Jeffords
can make up his mind
279
00:10:08,175 --> 00:10:10,910
without the influence of
Foxy Brown or cold yogurt.
280
00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:12,012
He is a grown man.
281
00:10:12,013 --> 00:10:14,280
Oh, I see what's going on here
282
00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:16,216
You're upset that Terry
would even consider
283
00:10:16,217 --> 00:10:17,650
leaving the Nine-Nine.
284
00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:21,454
I'd expect this pettiness from
a spineless amoeba like Charles,
285
00:10:21,489 --> 00:10:22,575
but not you, Sir.
286
00:10:22,590 --> 00:10:23,790
I'm not spineless.
287
00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:24,791
Come on, Charles.
288
00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:25,792
Yep.
289
00:10:27,128 --> 00:10:28,728
Ahh, look who's finally here.
290
00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:30,296
We already solved the
case without you.
291
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:31,665
What?
You did?
292
00:10:31,666 --> 00:10:32,966
Kidding.
293
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,467
Oliver was actually giving us
some pretty bad news.
294
00:10:34,502 --> 00:10:36,002
Carry on, Oliver.
295
00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:37,504
So we swabbed the whole van.
296
00:10:37,505 --> 00:10:39,005
We didn't find anything.
297
00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:41,007
No hairs, no fibers, no semen.
298
00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:43,643
And a rental van is usually
a frickin' Jackson Pollock.
299
00:10:43,678 --> 00:10:44,678
All right.
300
00:10:44,679 --> 00:10:45,779
They also wiped
down the masks
301
00:10:45,780 --> 00:10:47,547
with some sort of
bleach solution.
302
00:10:47,548 --> 00:10:49,316
They were really
covering their tracks.
303
00:10:49,317 --> 00:10:50,884
Check it out.
304
00:10:50,885 --> 00:10:52,519
Well, that wasn't very helpful.
305
00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:55,055
Although, I did learn I should
never rent a van again.
306
00:10:55,056 --> 00:10:57,123
Hey, can I talk to you
for a second privately?
307
00:10:57,124 --> 00:10:58,992
Sure.
Oh, wait.
308
00:10:58,993 --> 00:11:00,694
This isn't gonna be that thing
where you pretend you got
309
00:11:00,695 --> 00:11:02,028
an important text from Holt,
310
00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:03,530
and it's just that video
of screaming sheep.
311
00:11:03,531 --> 00:11:06,166
I promise you it's not,
but I do stand by that prank.
312
00:11:08,102 --> 00:11:10,070
So what's up?
313
00:11:10,071 --> 00:11:14,107
Okay, I almost feel
weird saying this,
314
00:11:14,108 --> 00:11:16,476
but I wanted to ask you...
315
00:11:16,477 --> 00:11:18,178
wow, those pictures
are not helping.
316
00:11:18,179 --> 00:11:19,612
Oh, my God.
317
00:11:19,613 --> 00:11:21,381
They're really gonna
have to re-grout.
318
00:11:21,382 --> 00:11:23,016
Ugh, finding a contractor.
319
00:11:23,017 --> 00:11:24,351
You are so consistent.
320
00:11:24,352 --> 00:11:26,353
Anyways, the question I wanted
to ask you is...
321
00:11:26,354 --> 00:11:28,154
So I got the results
on that feces.
322
00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:31,257
It's human,
but it's not all human.
323
00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:32,459
You're not Dr. Gassner.
324
00:11:32,460 --> 00:11:33,493
We are not.
325
00:11:33,494 --> 00:11:34,661
- Can you give us a sec?
- Sure.
326
00:11:34,662 --> 00:11:35,996
Real quick, what was the other...
327
00:11:35,997 --> 00:11:37,230
Dog and Bear.
328
00:11:37,231 --> 00:11:38,531
Wow.
329
00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:40,533
I thought you'd really
be into that feces puzzle.
330
00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:41,968
Normally, yes.
331
00:11:41,969 --> 00:11:44,137
But I want to talk to you
about something else right now.
332
00:11:44,138 --> 00:11:45,438
More specifically...
333
00:11:45,439 --> 00:11:47,440
- Guys, dispatch called.
- Great, Dave's here now.
334
00:11:47,441 --> 00:11:49,142
The check-cashing babies
just struck on Flatbush.
335
00:11:49,143 --> 00:11:50,143
We've got to go.
336
00:11:50,144 --> 00:11:51,511
Lead the way.
337
00:11:51,512 --> 00:11:53,179
What did you want to tell me?
338
00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:57,117
Oh, Captain Holt sent
a very important text.
339
00:11:57,151 --> 00:11:58,218
Oh.
340
00:12:07,395 --> 00:12:08,561
What's that smell?
341
00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:11,431
That's lavender.
Terry loves lavender.
342
00:12:11,432 --> 00:12:13,600
A little homemade
honey yogurt
343
00:12:13,601 --> 00:12:16,736
infused with
lavender and love.
344
00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:20,206
Mmm, that is delicious.
345
00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:21,741
Hold it.
346
00:12:21,742 --> 00:12:24,144
This isn't some weird breast
milk or something is it, Boyle?
347
00:12:24,145 --> 00:12:26,279
I mean, technically it's
from a sheep's breast.
348
00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,581
Hey, Terry, got any
new baby pics?
349
00:12:28,582 --> 00:12:30,383
You hate looking at
pictures of my twins.
350
00:12:30,418 --> 00:12:31,818
You said since they
were identical,
351
00:12:31,852 --> 00:12:33,553
I didn't need to take
photos of both.
352
00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:35,455
That doesn't sound
like Auntie Gina.
353
00:12:35,456 --> 00:12:37,390
I love your baby pics
354
00:12:37,391 --> 00:12:40,327
and your stories about the
twins' sleep schedules.
355
00:12:40,328 --> 00:12:43,163
Okay, I know what
you two are doing.
356
00:12:43,164 --> 00:12:44,731
This is your weird way
of trying
357
00:12:44,732 --> 00:12:47,067
to make me stay
at the Nine-Nine.
358
00:12:47,068 --> 00:12:49,569
Well, I am loving it.
359
00:12:50,871 --> 00:12:53,240
You know, the funny thing is,
Cagney naps better,
360
00:12:53,241 --> 00:12:55,775
but at night, that's
Lacey's time to shine.
361
00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:57,177
One time, she went 8-to-8.
362
00:12:57,178 --> 00:12:58,278
- Dang.
- Wow.
363
00:12:58,279 --> 00:12:59,246
I know.
364
00:12:59,247 --> 00:13:01,502
Jeffords, I need you to digitize
all your case files
365
00:13:01,503 --> 00:13:05,018
from 1995 to 1999 inclusive
by tomorrow at 9:00 a.m.
366
00:13:05,019 --> 00:13:06,786
But it's already 1:00.
367
00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:08,788
I told Sharon
we'd have dinner tonight.
368
00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:10,724
I was gonna have
a cup of coffee
369
00:13:10,725 --> 00:13:13,560
so that I could stay up
and... kiss.
370
00:13:13,561 --> 00:13:16,029
I suggest putting that
caffeine towards something
371
00:13:16,030 --> 00:13:19,666
more productive than "kissing."
372
00:13:19,667 --> 00:13:21,835
Sir, what are you doing?
373
00:13:21,836 --> 00:13:23,904
Making sure that Jeffords'
case files are digitized
374
00:13:23,905 --> 00:13:25,906
by tomorrow at 9:00 a.m.
375
00:13:25,907 --> 00:13:28,441
I thought I was
perfectly clear.
376
00:13:28,442 --> 00:13:31,845
I've got to call my wife,
tell her date night is off.
377
00:13:31,846 --> 00:13:35,282
I sent her all those kiss-face
emojis for no damn reason.
378
00:13:35,283 --> 00:13:36,850
Oh, no.
379
00:13:36,851 --> 00:13:38,885
Despite what I've been
saying for years,
380
00:13:38,886 --> 00:13:41,655
that ass just might quit.
381
00:13:41,656 --> 00:13:43,056
I don't get it.
382
00:13:43,057 --> 00:13:44,558
There's no rhyme or reason
to the locations they hit.
383
00:13:44,559 --> 00:13:46,192
This place was so
well-guarded.
384
00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:47,661
And why not hit the one
down the street
385
00:13:47,662 --> 00:13:48,995
that just has an old
man out front?
386
00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:51,498
It just seems so random.
387
00:13:51,499 --> 00:13:54,968
Yeah, it's like...
oh, that feels great.
388
00:13:54,969 --> 00:13:56,269
I don't think it's random.
389
00:13:56,270 --> 00:13:58,004
These guys are too good,
you know.
390
00:13:58,005 --> 00:13:59,573
We'll crack it.
391
00:13:59,574 --> 00:14:00,974
I'm gonna go grab some coffee.
392
00:14:00,975 --> 00:14:02,542
Great.
393
00:14:02,543 --> 00:14:04,244
Mm.
394
00:14:04,245 --> 00:14:06,179
Hey, now that it's just us,
395
00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:08,849
there's a thing I wanted to...
396
00:14:08,850 --> 00:14:11,518
to say a-da-za you.
397
00:14:11,519 --> 00:14:12,786
Why doesn't your mouth work?
398
00:14:12,787 --> 00:14:14,387
Why doesn't your mouth work?
Title of our sex tape.
399
00:14:14,388 --> 00:14:15,355
- What?
- Your sex tape.
400
00:14:15,356 --> 00:14:16,723
What?
No.
401
00:14:16,724 --> 00:14:20,627
Look, here's what
I wanted to say.
402
00:14:20,628 --> 00:14:22,495
Oh, no.
I figured it out.
403
00:14:22,496 --> 00:14:24,231
- Huh?
- Here, look.
404
00:14:24,232 --> 00:14:26,600
The trash cans, the van,
the jumpsuit,
405
00:14:26,601 --> 00:14:28,368
they all say
"Johnny's Janitorial."
406
00:14:28,369 --> 00:14:29,402
Not random.
407
00:14:29,403 --> 00:14:31,304
They cased each location
as cleaners.
408
00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:33,139
No wonder the van
was so spotless.
409
00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:34,274
Hey, what did I miss?
410
00:14:34,275 --> 00:14:35,775
Jake just solved the case.
411
00:14:35,776 --> 00:14:37,844
Holy crap.
That's awesome.
412
00:14:38,846 --> 00:14:40,080
All right.
413
00:14:40,081 --> 00:14:43,083
I mean, but, you know,
it's not totally done yet.
414
00:14:43,084 --> 00:14:44,718
You know, still a long way to go.
415
00:14:44,719 --> 00:14:46,887
Tons of paperwork, and a
case is never truly done
416
00:14:46,888 --> 00:14:48,221
until the trial is complete
417
00:14:48,222 --> 00:14:50,757
and the sentence is served
completely to its fruition
418
00:14:50,758 --> 00:14:51,992
in prison.
419
00:14:51,993 --> 00:14:53,660
Jake, just celebrate.
420
00:14:53,661 --> 00:14:55,529
Okay.
421
00:14:55,530 --> 00:14:57,297
Wow.
422
00:15:00,051 --> 00:15:01,385
Why the long face?
423
00:15:01,386 --> 00:15:03,387
That Mexican candy giving
you nerve damage again?
424
00:15:03,421 --> 00:15:05,422
Probably, but who even cares?
425
00:15:05,423 --> 00:15:06,690
Why did I solve the case?
426
00:15:06,725 --> 00:15:08,192
Why couldn't I have just
let those guys continue
427
00:15:08,193 --> 00:15:09,727
to terrorize Brooklyn
until I built up the nerve
428
00:15:09,728 --> 00:15:10,728
to ask out a girl?
429
00:15:10,762 --> 00:15:11,829
You're a good cop.
430
00:15:11,830 --> 00:15:13,190
Do not beat yourself up
about that.
431
00:15:13,198 --> 00:15:14,665
I'm not a good cop.
I'm an amazing cop.
432
00:15:14,666 --> 00:15:16,285
And I'll never
forgive myself.
433
00:15:16,301 --> 00:15:18,135
The case is over, Amy and
Majors are on their way
434
00:15:18,136 --> 00:15:19,270
to The Keychain right now.
435
00:15:19,271 --> 00:15:20,270
It's too late.
436
00:15:20,272 --> 00:15:21,572
Has she done
the double tuck yet?
437
00:15:21,573 --> 00:15:23,140
When Amy really likes a guy,
438
00:15:23,141 --> 00:15:24,542
she gets nervous
and tucks her hair
439
00:15:24,543 --> 00:15:26,811
behind both ears
at the same time.
440
00:15:28,914 --> 00:15:30,714
Well, I can never unsee that,
441
00:15:30,715 --> 00:15:32,349
but no, she has not
done that yet.
442
00:15:32,350 --> 00:15:33,384
Then there's still time.
443
00:15:33,418 --> 00:15:35,686
Get in there and bust up her date.
444
00:15:35,687 --> 00:15:36,787
Show her you care.
445
00:15:36,788 --> 00:15:38,022
Ruin her night.
446
00:15:38,056 --> 00:15:40,090
You really have a
unique take on love.
447
00:15:45,030 --> 00:15:48,032
Ugh, I've only gotten through
September of 1995.
448
00:15:48,066 --> 00:15:49,266
What are you guys doing here?
449
00:15:49,267 --> 00:15:51,101
Blowing your stupid mind.
450
00:15:51,102 --> 00:15:52,636
We did the rest of
the files for you.
451
00:15:52,671 --> 00:15:54,572
Seriously?
452
00:15:54,573 --> 00:15:56,440
I'm gonna text my wife.
453
00:15:56,441 --> 00:15:58,943
Now there's time for dinner
and a movie.
454
00:15:58,944 --> 00:16:00,878
And none of that
"on demand" crap.
455
00:16:00,879 --> 00:16:04,648
Tonight I'm gonna fall asleep
in a real movie theater.
456
00:16:04,683 --> 00:16:07,118
Yeah, that's how we do it
in the Nine-Nine.
457
00:16:07,119 --> 00:16:08,486
We got each others' backs.
458
00:16:08,487 --> 00:16:09,553
Damn right.
459
00:16:09,554 --> 00:16:11,822
Charles, make your own point.
460
00:16:11,823 --> 00:16:13,257
Don't just pile onto mine.
461
00:16:13,258 --> 00:16:14,625
Gina, where have you been?
462
00:16:14,659 --> 00:16:15,926
You left your cell phone
on your desk,
463
00:16:15,927 --> 00:16:17,061
and I assumed you were dead.
464
00:16:17,095 --> 00:16:19,396
Mm, I would clearly be
buried with my phone.
465
00:16:19,431 --> 00:16:23,400
Sir, these guys already
digitized all my files for me.
466
00:16:23,401 --> 00:16:25,169
- Isn't that amazing?
- What?
467
00:16:25,203 --> 00:16:27,238
Why did you snatch up
Sergeant Jeffords' task?
468
00:16:27,272 --> 00:16:28,839
Because we're trying
to get him to stay.
469
00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:30,508
Well, that's not your job.
470
00:16:30,509 --> 00:16:32,143
Jeffords, you can
stay here and digitize
471
00:16:32,144 --> 00:16:34,578
2000 through 2005 inclusive.
472
00:16:34,579 --> 00:16:35,946
I expect it done
by the morning.
473
00:16:39,284 --> 00:16:40,317
Great.
474
00:16:40,318 --> 00:16:41,919
Now I have to re-cancel
on Sharon.
475
00:16:41,953 --> 00:16:45,022
If I worked at Copperhead,
I'd be home by now
476
00:16:45,023 --> 00:16:46,791
swimming in a pool
of gold coins,
477
00:16:46,792 --> 00:16:48,759
like my boy, Scrooge McDuck.
478
00:16:52,964 --> 00:16:54,331
Password?
479
00:16:54,366 --> 00:16:56,000
- Tropical.
- Mm-mm.
480
00:16:56,034 --> 00:16:58,068
That's an old password.
481
00:16:58,069 --> 00:16:59,136
It changes every night.
482
00:16:59,171 --> 00:17:02,807
All right, fine.
Tropical one?
483
00:17:02,841 --> 00:17:04,275
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Augh!
484
00:17:04,309 --> 00:17:06,243
Ahh!
485
00:17:06,244 --> 00:17:08,813
Ha-ha.
Not cool, okay?
486
00:17:08,814 --> 00:17:11,248
Look, just ask Milo
the bartender, all right?
487
00:17:11,249 --> 00:17:13,384
He knows me.
Tell him Orange Soda is back.
488
00:17:13,385 --> 00:17:14,718
I don't know no Milo.
489
00:17:14,753 --> 00:17:17,288
The bartenders also change
their names every night.
490
00:17:17,322 --> 00:17:21,459
And get out of here until
you know the password, man.
491
00:17:21,493 --> 00:17:24,228
Damn it.
This place is so cool.
492
00:17:26,231 --> 00:17:27,230
Come on, strangers.
493
00:17:27,232 --> 00:17:29,533
Show me your lips.
494
00:17:29,568 --> 00:17:30,935
There you go.
495
00:17:30,969 --> 00:17:32,403
Got it.
496
00:17:38,443 --> 00:17:40,211
Pepper.
497
00:17:40,212 --> 00:17:41,212
Pooper.
498
00:17:44,683 --> 00:17:46,750
Popcorn.
499
00:17:48,487 --> 00:17:50,321
Plor-pa-pa.
500
00:17:50,322 --> 00:17:51,655
Plorp.
501
00:17:51,656 --> 00:17:52,656
Pa-aark.
502
00:17:52,657 --> 00:17:53,958
Parked.
503
00:17:53,959 --> 00:17:55,793
Okay.
504
00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:03,567
Yeah.
505
00:18:03,568 --> 00:18:06,737
Nooorse.
506
00:18:10,575 --> 00:18:11,675
Bull's-eye.
507
00:18:13,478 --> 00:18:16,614
Oh, no, the double tuck.
508
00:18:18,316 --> 00:18:20,484
Oh, hey.
509
00:18:20,485 --> 00:18:22,787
You wouldn't kick out a hopeless
romantic who's only here
510
00:18:22,788 --> 00:18:24,088
in the name of love,
would you?
511
00:18:24,089 --> 00:18:26,090
Ooh, you would.
512
00:18:28,409 --> 00:18:30,277
Terry!
513
00:18:30,278 --> 00:18:31,945
So what happened at
breakfast with Gary?
514
00:18:31,946 --> 00:18:33,680
Are you leaving us
for Copperhead?
515
00:18:33,681 --> 00:18:36,349
Because I'm prepared to light
Charles on fire in protest.
516
00:18:36,350 --> 00:18:37,784
Relax.
517
00:18:37,785 --> 00:18:40,587
I declined the offer,
told them I wasn't interested.
518
00:18:40,588 --> 00:18:41,588
Eat it, Gary.
519
00:18:41,589 --> 00:18:43,023
I gave him back all his swag,
520
00:18:43,024 --> 00:18:47,494
except the puffy vest,
which I, uh, lost.
521
00:18:54,702 --> 00:18:56,903
I'm staying
at the Nine-Nine!
522
00:18:58,740 --> 00:19:00,907
Great news, Sergeant.
523
00:19:00,908 --> 00:19:02,109
Really?
524
00:19:02,110 --> 00:19:04,678
So you're done trying
to push him out, Yoko?
525
00:19:04,679 --> 00:19:07,414
Whoa, don't give
Captain Holt a hard time.
526
00:19:07,415 --> 00:19:08,782
He's the reason I'm staying.
527
00:19:08,783 --> 00:19:10,384
I don't know what
you're talking about.
528
00:19:10,385 --> 00:19:13,053
You're an adult, and you came
to your own decision.
529
00:19:13,054 --> 00:19:15,389
Look at me. I can't
keep a straight face.
530
00:19:15,390 --> 00:19:17,324
I played you like a fiddle.
531
00:19:17,325 --> 00:19:18,525
Yeah, you did.
532
00:19:18,526 --> 00:19:20,527
Digitizing those old files
reminded me
533
00:19:20,528 --> 00:19:23,964
of all the cases I worked and all
the good we do in community.
534
00:19:23,965 --> 00:19:27,000
What's best for my family is
that they grow up with a dad
535
00:19:27,001 --> 00:19:28,435
who's proud of what he does.
536
00:19:28,436 --> 00:19:30,003
Thank you, Captain.
537
00:19:30,004 --> 00:19:31,571
Look at you.
538
00:19:31,572 --> 00:19:35,575
You're like the wise old owl from
those lollipop commercials.
539
00:19:35,576 --> 00:19:37,177
Terry's back!
540
00:19:38,746 --> 00:19:40,714
Hey, buddy, sorry I'm late.
541
00:19:40,715 --> 00:19:42,683
I had to get this dumb medal
from the commissioner
542
00:19:42,684 --> 00:19:44,251
for a double-murder
I solved last year.
543
00:19:44,252 --> 00:19:45,252
Been there.
544
00:19:45,253 --> 00:19:46,853
I had a pretty crazy
morning myself.
545
00:19:46,854 --> 00:19:48,889
Jake, your taquitos exploded
in the toaster oven.
546
00:19:48,890 --> 00:19:51,124
Thanks, Rosa.
10-4. Copy that.
547
00:19:51,125 --> 00:19:52,559
So how did it go
with Santiago?
548
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:53,994
Actually, she wasn't into it.
549
00:19:53,995 --> 00:19:54,995
Swing and a miss.
550
00:19:54,996 --> 00:19:55,995
You're kidding.
551
00:19:55,997 --> 00:19:57,164
Yeah, it was really weird.
552
00:19:57,165 --> 00:19:58,598
I've never been turned
down before,
553
00:19:58,599 --> 00:20:00,133
so unexpected.
554
00:20:00,134 --> 00:20:03,236
I'm excited to see what
happens to me next.
555
00:20:03,237 --> 00:20:04,237
Okay.
556
00:20:06,307 --> 00:20:08,842
So... Blotter Dynamite
struck out, huh?
557
00:20:08,843 --> 00:20:10,143
I know, but why?
558
00:20:10,144 --> 00:20:11,978
What does it mean, and
why did she double tuck?
559
00:20:11,979 --> 00:20:13,347
And how come she
turned him down?
560
00:20:13,348 --> 00:20:14,481
Do you think it has
something to do with me?
561
00:20:14,482 --> 00:20:15,482
- Rosa, what is she thinking?
- Jake.
562
00:20:15,483 --> 00:20:16,783
Yeah,
I should ask her myself.
563
00:20:18,086 --> 00:20:20,087
Hey, you just missed Majors.
564
00:20:20,088 --> 00:20:22,022
I've got to say, he was looking
a little bit rough,
565
00:20:22,023 --> 00:20:24,624
almost like he was up all night
crying or something.
566
00:20:24,625 --> 00:20:25,759
Ha-ha, Jake.
567
00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:27,094
I'm sure he's fine.
568
00:20:27,095 --> 00:20:29,596
So...
what happened?
569
00:20:29,597 --> 00:20:31,264
Well, I thought
we were getting a drink
570
00:20:31,265 --> 00:20:32,499
to celebrate
closing the case.
571
00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:34,634
But apparently,
he thought it was a date.
572
00:20:34,635 --> 00:20:36,103
Right, and you were
not into that,
573
00:20:36,104 --> 00:20:38,772
because he's so muscular and
in command of his finances?
574
00:20:38,773 --> 00:20:42,476
He's great, but after everything
that happened with Teddy
575
00:20:42,477 --> 00:20:44,444
and all the cops I know
who go out and break up
576
00:20:44,445 --> 00:20:45,946
and then still have
to work together,
577
00:20:45,947 --> 00:20:47,381
it's just too messy.
578
00:20:47,382 --> 00:20:49,383
I have a new rule:
I don't date cops.
579
00:20:50,418 --> 00:20:51,885
Cool. Cool.
580
00:20:51,886 --> 00:20:53,954
Yeah, actually, that's funny.
I have the same rule.
581
00:20:53,955 --> 00:20:55,355
No more cops.
582
00:20:55,356 --> 00:20:57,491
From this point on, it's
strictly dating criminals.
583
00:20:57,492 --> 00:20:59,059
If you break up with them,
584
00:20:59,060 --> 00:21:00,661
you can always send them
to jail forever.
585
00:21:00,662 --> 00:21:02,329
Exactly, nice and clean.
586
00:21:02,330 --> 00:21:04,531
- Mm-hmm.
- So...
587
00:21:04,532 --> 00:21:06,533
Hey, I got an email from
the commissioner's office
588
00:21:06,534 --> 00:21:07,567
about our case.
589
00:21:07,568 --> 00:21:08,635
What did they say?
590
00:21:09,637 --> 00:21:12,539
Ahh!
Ahh. Ah-ha.
591
00:21:12,540 --> 00:21:13,640
You got me with my thing.
592
00:21:13,641 --> 00:21:14,641
- Mm-hmm.
- Great.
593
00:21:14,642 --> 00:21:15,676
Oh!
594
00:21:22,180 --> 00:21:26,253
Sync & corrections by dzimu_kairu
42376
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