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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:29,238 --> 00:00:32,950 (Woman) 'If someone had asked me, when I reached my 50s, to assess my life, 2 00:00:33,075 --> 00:00:36,287 'I'd have said I'd achieved a decent measure of fulfillment, 3 00:00:36,412 --> 00:00:38,748 'both personally and professionally. 4 00:00:38,873 --> 00:00:41,959 'Beyond that, I would say, "I don't choose to delve." 5 00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:46,130 'Not that I was afraid of uncovering some dark side of my character. 6 00:00:46,255 --> 00:00:51,219 'But I always feel, if something seems to be working, leave it alone. 7 00:00:51,344 --> 00:00:53,513 'My name is Marion Post. 8 00:00:53,638 --> 00:00:56,140 'I'm Director of Undergraduate Studies in Philosophy 9 00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:58,142 'at a very fine women's college, 10 00:00:58,267 --> 00:01:02,772 'although right now I'm on leave of absence to begin writing a book. 11 00:01:02,897 --> 00:01:06,442 'My husband is a very accomplished physician, a cardiologist, 12 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:09,362 'who some years ago examined my heart, 13 00:01:09,487 --> 00:01:11,531 'liked what he saw and proposed. 14 00:01:11,656 --> 00:01:13,825 'It's the second marriage for both of us, 15 00:01:13,950 --> 00:01:15,993 'and he brought to it a 16-year-old daughter 16 00:01:16,118 --> 00:01:19,413 'who lives with his former wife but visits us frequently. 17 00:01:19,539 --> 00:01:22,917 'She's a sweet girl who can be a little undisciplined at times, 18 00:01:23,042 --> 00:01:26,504 'and I've tried to take her under my wing as best I can. 19 00:01:27,129 --> 00:01:29,549 'I also have a married brother. 20 00:01:29,674 --> 00:01:33,803 'My mother died recently, but my dad's still alive and healthy. 21 00:01:35,471 --> 00:01:38,975 'Not much else to say, except normally I write at home, 22 00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:42,061 'but construction noise next door has become so terrible, 23 00:01:42,186 --> 00:01:45,773 'I subleased a one-room flat downtown as an office. 24 00:01:46,566 --> 00:01:50,069 'A new book is always a very demanding project, 25 00:01:50,194 --> 00:01:53,072 'and it requires that I really shut myself off 26 00:01:53,197 --> 00:01:55,950 'from everything but the work.' 27 00:01:56,701 --> 00:02:01,122 (♪ ERIK SATIE: "Gymnopédie No. 1") 28 00:03:02,183 --> 00:03:07,396 'As I settled down to work that first morning, a strange thing occurred. 29 00:03:10,775 --> 00:03:15,947 (Man) Something about him just got to a deeper thing in me. 30 00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:21,911 So this was my... my big experience with another man. My first one. 31 00:03:23,454 --> 00:03:28,417 And I've never been able to get it out of my mind. I still have fantasies about it, 32 00:03:29,085 --> 00:03:31,587 which are sort of bugging me. 33 00:03:33,631 --> 00:03:36,717 (Psychiatrist) What do you mean, "fantasies"? 34 00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:41,263 (Man) Well, sometimes when I'm masturbating, or when I'm just... 35 00:03:43,015 --> 00:03:46,435 Well, sometimes when I'm... when I'm working, 36 00:03:48,187 --> 00:03:51,649 I find myself thinking about Giles. 37 00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:55,987 And, uh, it's not that I'm not attracted to my wife any more. 38 00:03:56,112 --> 00:04:01,993 I mean, I still am. I really am physically moved by her, and other women, but... 39 00:04:02,118 --> 00:04:05,496 (Marion) 'While eavesdropping on the intimate revelations 40 00:04:05,621 --> 00:04:08,833 'of a psychiatrist's office might be fascinating to some people, 41 00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:12,837 'it was not exactly what I had in mind when I rented the place.' 42 00:04:12,962 --> 00:04:15,673 (Man) Well, um... 43 00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:21,470 I don't really have to use him like a piece of pornography... 44 00:04:29,645 --> 00:04:33,357 (Marion) 'I worked hard all day, and the work came very slowly. 45 00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:36,736 'Beginning a book is always the most difficult part for me, 46 00:04:36,861 --> 00:04:39,989 'and by late afternoon I'd become tired. 47 00:04:40,114 --> 00:04:45,286 'I lay my head down and closed my eyes, and I guess I dozed off. 48 00:04:45,411 --> 00:04:48,456 'I don't know exactly how long I was asleep, 49 00:04:48,581 --> 00:04:51,542 'but one of the pillows must have slipped down off the vent, 50 00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:55,254 'because I gradually became aware again of a voice. 51 00:04:55,379 --> 00:05:01,052 'It was a woman's voice, and it was such an anguished, heart-wrenching sound 52 00:05:01,177 --> 00:05:04,472 'that I was totally arrested by its sadness.' 53 00:05:05,723 --> 00:05:10,311 (Woman) I just know that I woke up during the middle of the night. 54 00:05:12,188 --> 00:05:16,108 And time passed, and there were strange shadows. 55 00:05:18,402 --> 00:05:21,739 I began having troubling thoughts about my life. 56 00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:26,744 Like there was something about it not real. 57 00:05:28,704 --> 00:05:31,207 Full of deceptions. 58 00:05:31,332 --> 00:05:33,876 That these... these deceptions 59 00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:37,254 had become so... so many, 60 00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:40,257 and so much a part of me now, 61 00:05:40,382 --> 00:05:43,886 that I couldn't even tell who I really was. 62 00:05:45,638 --> 00:05:48,516 And suddenly I began to perspire. 63 00:05:49,725 --> 00:05:53,813 I sat up in bed with my heart just pounding. 64 00:05:54,647 --> 00:05:57,733 And I looked at my husband next to me, 65 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:02,154 and it was as if he... he was a stranger. 66 00:06:03,739 --> 00:06:06,867 And I turned on the light and I woke him up, 67 00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:09,954 and I asked him to hold me. 68 00:06:10,079 --> 00:06:11,914 (Sobs) 69 00:06:12,790 --> 00:06:16,836 And only after a long time, did I finally get my bearings. 70 00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:20,965 But for one moment, earlier, 71 00:06:21,090 --> 00:06:24,635 it was as if a curtain had parted, 72 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:27,680 and I could see myself clearly. 73 00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:31,475 But I was afraid of what I saw. 74 00:06:31,976 --> 00:06:33,644 (Sniffs) 75 00:06:33,769 --> 00:06:36,856 And what I had to look forward to. 76 00:06:37,857 --> 00:06:39,525 And I wondered... 77 00:06:41,277 --> 00:06:44,613 I wondered about ending everything. 78 00:07:27,198 --> 00:07:28,866 Please, please. 79 00:07:28,991 --> 00:07:34,872 It is with a mixture of some joy, but mostly paralysing anxiety... 80 00:07:36,332 --> 00:07:39,835 ...that I hereby plunge into the big five-o. 81 00:07:44,757 --> 00:07:47,760 I was, uh, I was fine till last week. 82 00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:53,182 Then my son said to me, "Gee, Dad, don't your options begin running out?" 83 00:07:54,934 --> 00:07:57,311 He's very funny, my son. 84 00:08:01,857 --> 00:08:05,110 Marion, I was telling Lydia about your little adventure today. 85 00:08:05,236 --> 00:08:08,239 - Oh, yes. - Those new buildings are built so thin. 86 00:08:08,364 --> 00:08:11,784 - No, this is an old brownstone. - Well, there's no privacy left. 87 00:08:11,909 --> 00:08:15,746 Last week, Lydia and I were at home. It was a Sunday morning... 88 00:08:15,871 --> 00:08:19,041 - Mark... - This is true. And we started kissing... 89 00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:22,670 - Mark! - And next thing we were on the floor... 90 00:08:22,795 --> 00:08:26,006 - Are you crazy? He's drunk. - I was having her on the kitchen floor. 91 00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:29,134 The living room floor, the living room floor. 92 00:08:29,260 --> 00:08:32,888 - I gotta admit, it was a surprise. - Did it not happen that way? 93 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:37,977 So the door opens, and the superintendent, he has the key... 94 00:08:38,102 --> 00:08:41,772 - Oh, no. - Barges in. Some kind of plumbing leak. 95 00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:44,149 And we are in flagrante delicto. 96 00:08:44,275 --> 00:08:47,945 You know what he does? He gets up, stark naked, and says "Mr Banducci, 97 00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:51,282 "this is not the pipe that needs fixing." 98 00:08:51,407 --> 00:08:55,369 That was quick, Ken. Could you have come up with anything that quick? 99 00:08:55,494 --> 00:08:58,289 - No. - That was grace under pressure. 100 00:08:58,414 --> 00:09:00,457 - Did he laugh? - Oh, no. 101 00:09:00,582 --> 00:09:03,627 He turned very red and he crossed himself. 102 00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:07,423 Sad. 103 00:09:11,427 --> 00:09:15,514 One good thing about becoming 50. You don't have to do it again. 104 00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:23,856 I know. 105 00:09:23,981 --> 00:09:28,319 It's Laura. She had another fight with her mother, wants to sleep at our place. 106 00:09:28,444 --> 00:09:30,946 It's not fair to Kathy. 107 00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:35,993 Well, you tell her, cos once again I can't get through to my daughter. 108 00:09:36,118 --> 00:09:38,829 I know. Just... hold on a minute. 109 00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:41,623 Will you talk to Marion? OK. 110 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:46,420 Laura? This is not a good habit to get into. 111 00:09:46,545 --> 00:09:50,632 You know your mother's high-strung. She's just gonna get frantic. 112 00:09:50,758 --> 00:09:56,263 Well, it may not seem fair to you, but it's up to you to deal with her moods. 113 00:09:58,057 --> 00:10:02,186 Well, if she can't, then you just have to rise above it. 114 00:10:02,311 --> 00:10:05,898 OK? I'll see you at my father's tomorrow. 115 00:10:06,023 --> 00:10:08,859 We'll talk about it then. OK. 116 00:10:08,984 --> 00:10:10,319 Bye-bye. 117 00:10:10,444 --> 00:10:14,156 She listens to you cos she looks up to you. Me, there's no communication. 118 00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:17,368 It's just... It's a terrible situation. 119 00:10:18,494 --> 00:10:21,580 (♪ WEILL & BRECHT: "The Bilbao Song" on piano) 120 00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:25,459 Hey. 121 00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:28,504 Take you back? 122 00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:31,090 God, yeah. 123 00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:47,272 Would you ever think of making love to me on the living room floor? 124 00:10:50,901 --> 00:10:53,487 Would you want me to? 125 00:10:53,612 --> 00:10:56,448 I don't know. Would you want to? 126 00:10:57,533 --> 00:10:59,535 I don't know. 127 00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:06,041 Actually, I don't think I see you as the hardwood floor type. 128 00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,584 No? 129 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:15,426 Hey, Ken, what are you doing in there? Have you eaten? 130 00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:18,804 Hello, Lydia. Look, you know my wife pretty good. 131 00:11:18,929 --> 00:11:22,933 Would you say that she was the type to enjoy sex on the living room floor? 132 00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:25,978 - Ken! - Oh, my God. You know, you guys... 133 00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:29,565 - I'm only teasing. - That was really embarrassing before. 134 00:11:29,690 --> 00:11:32,734 But not unpleasant if you don't get splinters. 135 00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:42,202 (Marion) 'The following morning, I'd agreed to meet my sister-in-law. 136 00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:46,623 'I waited as long as I could, but when she didn't show up I decided to leave.' 137 00:11:46,748 --> 00:11:49,042 - Marion. I'm sorry. - Oh, hi. 138 00:11:49,168 --> 00:11:53,338 - I got stuck in traffic. - Oh. The thing is, I'm really late now. 139 00:11:53,464 --> 00:11:56,967 - Sorry. I just need a few minutes. - Well, I'm so behind schedule. 140 00:11:57,092 --> 00:12:00,095 You said eight, and I waited, but I've gotta get going. 141 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:03,432 - Stupid bus wouldn't move. - Maybe some other time. 142 00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:05,976 I've gotta be disciplined when I'm writing, Lynn, 143 00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:09,062 otherwise I'm not gonna get it done in time. 144 00:12:09,188 --> 00:12:11,190 I need to borrow some money. 145 00:12:11,315 --> 00:12:14,443 You know, Paul and I are getting a divorce. 146 00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:16,820 I heard. I'm sorry. 147 00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:20,324 - Are you? - Why do you say it like that? 148 00:12:21,617 --> 00:12:25,454 Because... I know you never really approved of me. 149 00:12:25,579 --> 00:12:27,873 Why, I hardly know you. 150 00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:31,168 It's not from my lack of trying. 151 00:12:31,293 --> 00:12:35,380 Oh, look, I know this must all be very upsetting to you. But, you know... 152 00:12:35,506 --> 00:12:37,674 I'm sorry. 153 00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:41,303 If you needed money, how come Paul didn't ask me? 154 00:12:41,845 --> 00:12:44,598 Well... he wouldn't. 155 00:12:44,723 --> 00:12:47,142 Well, why not? He has before. 156 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:52,356 Marion... don't you know how he feels about you? 157 00:12:52,481 --> 00:12:55,442 Sure. We've always been very close. 158 00:12:57,027 --> 00:13:00,030 You're deluding yourself. 159 00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:03,200 Of course, in a way he idolises you, but... 160 00:13:04,243 --> 00:13:06,662 he also hates you. 161 00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:11,917 I'm sorry, I don't accept that. 162 00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:15,337 You're such a perceptive woman. 163 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,673 How can you not understand his feelings? 164 00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:21,552 Look, um, I'm late, and... and, uh... 165 00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:28,225 To tell you the truth, I make it a practice of never getting into these conversations. 166 00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:32,354 They're fruitless, and people say things that they're sorry for later. 167 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:37,568 Why don't you just tell me how much you need and I'll discuss it with Ken. OK? 168 00:13:42,531 --> 00:13:45,409 (Marion) 'The encounter with my sister-in-law had left me angry, 169 00:13:45,534 --> 00:13:48,537 'but I refused to let it interfere with my work. 170 00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:52,749 'I had a reasonably productive day, but as late afternoon approached, 171 00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:55,711 'I began to feel anxious somehow.' 172 00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:04,469 (Woman) I really can't believe I'm saying this. 173 00:14:06,722 --> 00:14:10,851 Lately, I've had odd feelings about my marriage. 174 00:14:12,436 --> 00:14:15,897 It's as if it's been... coming apart. 175 00:14:17,232 --> 00:14:21,153 And I've just been, in so many ways, denying it. 176 00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:25,240 I must admit, 177 00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:29,661 I have moments when I question whether I made the right choice. 178 00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:33,832 I've told you there was someone else once. 179 00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:38,420 The last time I saw him was several years ago, 180 00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:41,381 before I was married, at a party. 181 00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:44,134 (♪ ERROLL GARNER: "A Fine Romance") 182 00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:58,315 Stop it. Just stop it. This is just crazy. 183 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,859 I'm marrying Ken, that's all there is to it. 184 00:15:00,984 --> 00:15:04,738 - How can you marry Ken? You love me. - I... What? You're so conceited. 185 00:15:04,863 --> 00:15:07,157 What makes you think that I love you? 186 00:15:07,282 --> 00:15:11,787 I know. There are some things one knows just so surely as... 187 00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:17,501 Well, I-I... I'm... I... You're wrong, and I'm sorry if I've misled you. 188 00:15:17,626 --> 00:15:21,129 - It's you you're misleading. - I'm surprised at you. 189 00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:24,424 I mean, Ken is your close friend. 190 00:15:24,925 --> 00:15:29,221 I love everything about you, and I want you to come and live with me... 191 00:15:29,346 --> 00:15:32,557 Stop it! Stop it. Right now. 192 00:15:33,475 --> 00:15:35,894 (Woman) Marion? We're toasting! 193 00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:38,105 Just go away. 194 00:15:41,692 --> 00:15:44,820 To Ken and Marion on their big day next week. 195 00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:50,409 And to Marion's new book. German philosophy will never be the same. 196 00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:52,327 Let's hope not. 197 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:56,331 You'll go on for ever. Heidegger definitely got what he deserved. 198 00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:59,292 Hey, I'd like to propose a toast. 199 00:15:59,418 --> 00:16:01,962 To good health and happiness. 200 00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:06,133 - Aren't you gonna drink to Marion? - Yes, why not? 201 00:16:06,258 --> 00:16:08,844 I drink to Marion with my eyes. 202 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,471 Smoothie. Old smoothie. 203 00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:13,640 (Doorbell) 204 00:16:23,692 --> 00:16:25,736 (All conversation stops) 205 00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:31,867 I was just returning some things. 206 00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:37,914 You could stop staring. 207 00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:40,375 I'm not a ghost. 208 00:16:41,752 --> 00:16:45,881 Well, we did spend a few years together, had a child together, in this house. 209 00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:49,092 I wish you'd called. 210 00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:51,094 I'm not staying. 211 00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:54,848 Although some of these people used to be my friends too. 212 00:16:57,309 --> 00:16:59,770 - Would you like a drink? - Kitty... 213 00:16:59,895 --> 00:17:02,439 Don't panic, I'm not accepting. 214 00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:07,235 These are artefacts from more civilised days between us. 215 00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:11,198 (Ken) I think perhaps you should just leave them and go. 216 00:17:11,323 --> 00:17:13,200 Which one's Marion? 217 00:17:14,201 --> 00:17:15,452 I am. 218 00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:17,412 Kathy, this is in terrible taste, you know. 219 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:20,207 Oh, my ex-husband is an authority on taste! 220 00:17:20,332 --> 00:17:25,420 Now what does Emily Post say about adultery with a philosophy professor 221 00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:29,591 in a Holiday Inn while his wife is in the hospital having her ovaries removed? 222 00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:32,677 - OK, that's enough. Now please leave. - Ah, jeez. 223 00:17:32,803 --> 00:17:35,180 I realise that you've been hurt, 224 00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:38,433 and if I've done anything wrong, I am sorry. 225 00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:41,561 Forgive me. I accept your condemnation. 226 00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:49,611 I'm so sorry. 227 00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:54,115 (♪ ERROLL GARNER: "Make Believe") 228 00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:13,301 What can I say to change your heart? 229 00:18:14,970 --> 00:18:17,347 I'm really amazed at you. 230 00:18:17,472 --> 00:18:21,935 He's your friend. He's just... He's just had an embarrassing experience. 231 00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:25,480 Yes, he is my friend. And I love him. 232 00:18:25,981 --> 00:18:29,067 But he's a prig. He's cold and he's stuffy. 233 00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:36,157 Can't you see that? "I accept your condemnation." Jesus! 234 00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:40,662 He handled a very difficult moment quite well. 235 00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:43,582 Oh, too well. Do you like that? 236 00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:45,959 He's a snob. 237 00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:48,795 He's a wonderful man. 238 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:51,715 And he's... he's a terrific doctor. 239 00:18:52,883 --> 00:18:55,844 He's cultured and he's honourable. 240 00:18:56,386 --> 00:18:59,097 I love to be with him. I... I... 241 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:04,019 - I love reading books with him, and... - It's all up here. All up here. 242 00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:06,354 And he's sexy. 243 00:19:06,897 --> 00:19:10,567 Adultery in the Holiday Inn? Did they take a credit card? 244 00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:15,196 He would never try to undermine you. 245 00:19:16,698 --> 00:19:19,576 Even if he loved a woman passionately? 246 00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:28,919 Maybe we should join the others. 247 00:19:29,044 --> 00:19:31,546 Maybe I was wrong about you. 248 00:19:33,131 --> 00:19:35,091 Maybe you're two of a kind. 249 00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:37,218 Maybe you've had too much champagne. 250 00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:39,930 Maybe this conversation is scaring you. 251 00:19:40,055 --> 00:19:42,140 I have to go. 252 00:19:42,766 --> 00:19:45,393 Why don't you do that? 253 00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:55,904 (Woman) 'I often wonder about real love.' 254 00:19:56,738 --> 00:20:00,742 Or should I say, I keep myself from thinking about it. 255 00:20:02,077 --> 00:20:05,455 - I don't mean the kind I've experienced. - (Door buzzer) 256 00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:10,293 It's deeper, much more intense. And then I become frightened. 257 00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:14,089 Because I feel too much... 258 00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:24,975 - Hi. How are you? - Fine. 259 00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:28,979 This is great, this is really nice. I like it a lot. So are you ready? 260 00:20:29,104 --> 00:20:31,523 - Sure. - I'm sorry, am I too early? 261 00:20:31,648 --> 00:20:35,068 - Oh, no. - So I'm here on time? OK, great. 262 00:20:35,193 --> 00:20:40,490 - You know your dad's not coming? - Yes. I spoke with him. Are you all right? 263 00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:41,950 - Me? - You just... 264 00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:44,536 - No, sure, I'm fine. - OK. 265 00:20:44,661 --> 00:20:49,290 All right, well, we should get going then, so we can beat the traffic. 266 00:21:03,013 --> 00:21:07,892 (Father) I've gathered a number of your mother's possessions and mementos. 267 00:21:08,018 --> 00:21:10,562 Pictures, letters. 268 00:21:10,687 --> 00:21:13,148 You may as well have them. 269 00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:16,776 I just can't seem to bring myself to throw them away. 270 00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:19,112 Has it been unbearable, these past few months? 271 00:21:19,237 --> 00:21:22,032 I've managed to keep myself busy. 272 00:21:22,157 --> 00:21:26,369 - I wish you'd consider moving to the city. - I'm fine right here. 273 00:21:27,328 --> 00:21:32,375 Clara comes in. She cleans and cooks for me the way she always has, 274 00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:35,128 so that's no different. 275 00:21:35,253 --> 00:21:38,673 Twice a year, the board of the Smithsonian meets. 276 00:21:39,174 --> 00:21:44,512 That gets me down to Washington, and takes up some of my time. 277 00:21:47,182 --> 00:21:50,143 I'm all right. I'm fine right here. 278 00:21:50,268 --> 00:21:54,481 But you want nothing around to even remind you of Mother? 279 00:21:54,606 --> 00:22:00,236 Well, there are times when even a historian shouldn't look at the past. 280 00:22:00,361 --> 00:22:03,907 You think at your age you can meet someone and fall in love again? 281 00:22:04,032 --> 00:22:08,369 One hopes at my age to build up an immunity. 282 00:22:11,206 --> 00:22:15,085 Are you aware that Paul and Lynn are getting a divorce? 283 00:22:15,210 --> 00:22:19,881 Nothing Paul does would surprise me, and I'd much rather not hear about him. 284 00:22:20,006 --> 00:22:23,885 - He's had bad luck. - He's had the same chances you've had. 285 00:22:24,803 --> 00:22:28,932 It's just that he doesn't have it inside him to stick with anything. 286 00:22:29,057 --> 00:22:33,937 - I hope you're not still giving him money. - No, just, you know, now and then. 287 00:22:34,562 --> 00:22:39,442 I've salvaged him from more financial messes, 288 00:22:39,567 --> 00:22:43,780 and I've spent more money doing it, than I care to tell you. 289 00:22:43,905 --> 00:22:49,452 Someday he'll defraud somebody in one of his so-called business ventures. 290 00:22:49,953 --> 00:22:52,330 And he'll go to jail. 291 00:22:53,540 --> 00:22:56,251 (♪ BACH: "Sonata for Cello and Piano No. 2") 292 00:22:56,376 --> 00:23:00,171 I noticed you sort of gave me a disapproving look at dinner. 293 00:23:01,589 --> 00:23:05,135 Well, I didn't think it was very sensitive of you to ask my father 294 00:23:05,260 --> 00:23:08,346 whether at his age he could still fall in love. 295 00:23:08,471 --> 00:23:13,059 - Well, he didn't take it badly. - No, but it just isn't very tactful. 296 00:23:13,184 --> 00:23:16,062 He's old now. He doesn't have to be reminded of it. 297 00:23:16,187 --> 00:23:17,939 I'm sorry. 298 00:23:18,064 --> 00:23:20,942 It's OK, it's just... 299 00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:23,778 Never mind, it's... youth. 300 00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:26,197 Here are the photos. 301 00:23:27,365 --> 00:23:30,702 And here's my mother's jewellery. Such as it is. 302 00:23:31,452 --> 00:23:34,706 They were never ones for sentimental possessions. 303 00:23:35,665 --> 00:23:38,376 Here's her book of Rilke's poems. 304 00:23:38,501 --> 00:23:43,006 You know, she was the one who first introduced me to German poetry. 305 00:23:44,048 --> 00:23:47,135 And there's a picture of the house in the fall. 306 00:23:47,260 --> 00:23:50,847 'That's really nice. Oh, there we are in the kitchen. 307 00:23:50,972 --> 00:23:54,475 'And there's Clara. Look how young you were here, Clara. 308 00:23:54,601 --> 00:23:59,147 'You were so good to us. I can still taste the cookies you used to bake. 309 00:23:59,272 --> 00:24:04,027 'You used to sit up with us when we had those miserable colds. You were a saint. 310 00:24:04,152 --> 00:24:09,157 'Oh, and here I am, older. I could go up to the spare room and paint for hours. 311 00:24:09,282 --> 00:24:12,368 'The time would just fly by when I was doing a picture. 312 00:24:12,493 --> 00:24:16,539 'And there I am with my friend Claire. You know, she became an actress. 313 00:24:16,664 --> 00:24:20,335 'We used to be so close, but I haven't seen her in years. 314 00:24:21,669 --> 00:24:26,007 'And there's my mother. She loved strolling around the grounds. 315 00:24:26,716 --> 00:24:31,012 'She loved all beautiful things. She loved nature, music, poetry. 316 00:24:31,554 --> 00:24:34,474 'That was her whole existence.' 317 00:24:38,519 --> 00:24:42,774 - Paul? I'd like to discuss something. - Yes, Dad? 318 00:24:42,899 --> 00:24:46,194 I've had a talk with my brother Ben. 319 00:24:46,319 --> 00:24:50,782 And he has promised me that he will find a position for you next season in his firm. 320 00:24:50,907 --> 00:24:53,409 I don't wanna work in a cardboard box factory. 321 00:24:53,534 --> 00:24:59,082 - It's paper products, Paul, not just boxes. - But I tried it once. I go nuts. 322 00:24:59,207 --> 00:25:00,625 Paul... 323 00:25:01,668 --> 00:25:04,963 There are some obligations one must accept. 324 00:25:05,672 --> 00:25:08,216 This has not been a good year. 325 00:25:08,716 --> 00:25:12,470 Your mother is very ill, and I have decided to take time off 326 00:25:12,595 --> 00:25:15,265 to finish my study on the Continental Congress. 327 00:25:15,390 --> 00:25:18,434 It's important that there is enough money 328 00:25:18,559 --> 00:25:20,728 to see that Marion can go away to college. 329 00:25:20,853 --> 00:25:24,399 I want her to take that scholarship. She is such a brilliant girl. 330 00:25:24,524 --> 00:25:26,359 But I had other plans. 331 00:25:26,484 --> 00:25:30,488 I'm sure those plans included card-playing and time-wasting. 332 00:25:30,613 --> 00:25:34,826 - That's not fair. - Paul, your grades are mediocre. 333 00:25:34,951 --> 00:25:40,039 It's not because you're not smart enough, it's simply that you don't apply yourself. 334 00:25:40,164 --> 00:25:42,709 I know. And Marion's a genius. 335 00:25:43,626 --> 00:25:46,838 She has the opportunity to go to Bryn Mawr. 336 00:25:47,755 --> 00:25:50,633 - Do you want to prevent her? - No. 337 00:25:51,384 --> 00:25:56,306 She's going to be something. She's got what it takes. There are no limits for her. 338 00:25:57,557 --> 00:26:02,770 If only I could stop her daydreaming in the woods with her beloved watercolours. 339 00:26:14,324 --> 00:26:15,825 (Marion) Paul? 340 00:26:18,453 --> 00:26:19,829 What's wrong? 341 00:26:19,954 --> 00:26:23,583 He's making me go to work in the paper box factory. 342 00:26:24,459 --> 00:26:27,295 - Well, what do you wanna do? - I don't know. 343 00:26:27,420 --> 00:26:32,008 Move out of the house, travel, find some interesting business, 344 00:26:32,133 --> 00:26:35,094 anything but work in a paper box factory. 345 00:26:35,845 --> 00:26:38,765 I hate him. Both of them. 346 00:26:39,474 --> 00:26:41,934 They live in their own world. 347 00:26:42,060 --> 00:26:45,605 (♪ BACH: "Sonata for Cello and Piano No. 2") 348 00:27:05,500 --> 00:27:08,920 - Is this close enough? - Yeah, I'm meeting Scott right up here. 349 00:27:09,045 --> 00:27:13,758 Why don't you come? He'd love to meet you, and I've told him a lot about you. 350 00:27:13,883 --> 00:27:17,136 Thank you, honey, but I'm really tired. 351 00:27:17,261 --> 00:27:19,972 - Can I take a rain check? - Come on, just for one beer. 352 00:27:20,098 --> 00:27:23,393 It's really early, and Dad's not gonna be home yet. 353 00:27:24,227 --> 00:27:26,396 Do you see someone? 354 00:27:26,521 --> 00:27:28,940 - I do. - Who? 355 00:27:29,607 --> 00:27:34,529 It's just, uh... it's an acquaintance of mine, it's a woman I know. 356 00:27:36,948 --> 00:27:40,493 All right, well, thanks a lot. I had a terrific time. 357 00:27:40,618 --> 00:27:43,204 - OK. - OK. Bye. 358 00:29:02,950 --> 00:29:05,995 I forgot half of that speech tonight... 359 00:29:07,622 --> 00:29:09,665 Marion. I... 360 00:29:09,790 --> 00:29:12,835 - Claire? - It's you. It is you. It is. 361 00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:16,797 - Claire? I was just talking about you. - Yes? 362 00:29:16,923 --> 00:29:19,967 I was going through old photos at my father's house. 363 00:29:20,092 --> 00:29:22,386 What are you doing here? 364 00:29:22,512 --> 00:29:26,849 - I'm doing a play. And it's closing, but... - You're in a show? 365 00:29:26,974 --> 00:29:30,186 Yes. I guess you don't read the Theatre section of the paper. 366 00:29:30,311 --> 00:29:33,356 Well, yes, I do, but I just had no idea. 367 00:29:35,274 --> 00:29:39,445 I'm sorry, what am I doing? I'm sorry. This is my husband, this is Jack. 368 00:29:39,570 --> 00:29:41,697 - Marion Post. - Nice to meet you. 369 00:29:41,822 --> 00:29:45,826 Oh, my goodness. Claire, I have wondered about you so often. 370 00:29:45,952 --> 00:29:50,456 - Well, we live in Monterey now. - Really? Do you have time for a drink? 371 00:29:50,581 --> 00:29:55,086 - Sorry, we're meeting some friends. - No, we have time till our appointment. 372 00:29:55,211 --> 00:29:58,214 - Do we? - Oh, great. There must be a place here. 373 00:29:58,339 --> 00:30:01,842 - Come on, this way. Straight ahead. - I just... 374 00:30:08,516 --> 00:30:13,062 (Marion)...Amnesty International and ACLU. Then they were on the same day. 375 00:30:13,187 --> 00:30:17,733 (Jack) Listen, you gotta be kidding me. Are you saying that you are 376 00:30:17,858 --> 00:30:22,113 a member of Amnesty International and the American Civil Liberties Union? 377 00:30:22,238 --> 00:30:25,199 Marion always had the urge to save humanity, didn't you? 378 00:30:25,324 --> 00:30:28,286 Just give me a flood or a famine. Ken too. 379 00:30:28,411 --> 00:30:31,914 - Where do you find the time? - It doesn't work out all the time. 380 00:30:32,039 --> 00:30:35,334 And head of the philosophy department. It's impossible. 381 00:30:35,459 --> 00:30:38,754 I took two years of philosophy, University of Chicago. 382 00:30:38,879 --> 00:30:43,676 - They've got a great department. - It was good, before they made me leave. 383 00:30:43,801 --> 00:30:47,221 And Claire, you never told me about this chapter in your life. 384 00:30:47,346 --> 00:30:49,932 - I thought I had. - We were so close. 385 00:30:50,057 --> 00:30:53,311 - It was clear she'd be a gifted actress. - No... 386 00:30:53,436 --> 00:30:57,565 Don't you believe her. This woman always had that flair. 387 00:30:57,690 --> 00:31:01,611 Do you get to the Theatre much? I guess not with your schedule. 388 00:31:01,736 --> 00:31:05,948 I do. My husband really prefers the opera, but there's so little to see. 389 00:31:06,073 --> 00:31:09,952 - I used to be a devoted Brechtian. - I staged some Brecht. 390 00:31:10,077 --> 00:31:12,330 - Did you? - Yes. "Mother Courage." 391 00:31:12,455 --> 00:31:15,625 - Not the one here? - Yes, the one here. Did you see it? 392 00:31:15,750 --> 00:31:20,838 Sure I saw it. That's the most intelligent rendering of that play I've ever seen. 393 00:31:20,963 --> 00:31:23,966 - That's sweet of you. - I had problems with the translation. 394 00:31:24,091 --> 00:31:26,969 Some of the speeches could have been a little better. 395 00:31:27,094 --> 00:31:29,430 Exactly. The translation was awkward. 396 00:31:29,555 --> 00:31:31,974 But you did a terrific job. Really terrific. 397 00:31:32,099 --> 00:31:35,019 Hey, hey. Hey! 398 00:31:35,144 --> 00:31:38,397 Look at me once in a while. I'm your wife, not her. 399 00:31:38,522 --> 00:31:39,690 Huh? 400 00:31:39,815 --> 00:31:42,777 You've been hanging on her every word since we sat down. 401 00:31:42,902 --> 00:31:44,612 You're embarrassing me. 402 00:31:44,737 --> 00:31:48,658 Jack is very impressed by certain things which I apparently cannot give him. 403 00:31:48,783 --> 00:31:50,284 Claire, take it easy. 404 00:31:50,409 --> 00:31:54,830 Do you deny he's been looking into your eyes for over an hour? 405 00:31:54,955 --> 00:31:59,001 - I don't think you heard one word I said. - You're a little drunk. 406 00:31:59,126 --> 00:32:03,172 - If you'd rather be alone with her... - Claire, stop it, this is foolish. 407 00:32:03,297 --> 00:32:07,259 - We're just having a nice chat. - Don't play so innocent with me. 408 00:32:07,385 --> 00:32:09,804 - This wouldn't be the first time. - (Jack) Stop this! 409 00:32:09,929 --> 00:32:12,640 - What does that mean? - Let's go, Claire. Sorry, Marion. 410 00:32:12,765 --> 00:32:14,642 We've been in this situation before, 411 00:32:14,767 --> 00:32:19,188 where you so innocently wound up causing me to doubt my whole life. 412 00:32:19,313 --> 00:32:22,358 Claire, you're being awfully theatrical. 413 00:32:22,483 --> 00:32:24,694 I don't know what you're talking about. 414 00:32:24,819 --> 00:32:28,739 We didn't just drift apart, Marion. I withdrew. 415 00:32:30,533 --> 00:32:34,120 - You're not talking about David? - Then you do know. 416 00:32:34,912 --> 00:32:39,208 - I know I never had any interest in him. - But you knew how much I cared for him. 417 00:32:39,333 --> 00:32:44,797 I had nothing to do with him. And I never gave him a shred of encouragement. 418 00:32:44,922 --> 00:32:46,590 That's not true. 419 00:32:46,716 --> 00:32:52,304 Your conversations were full of subtle flirtations, full of meaningful little looks, 420 00:32:52,430 --> 00:32:58,018 and... little gambits designed to seduce. 421 00:32:58,936 --> 00:33:01,313 That's so untrue. 422 00:33:01,439 --> 00:33:03,482 And you've held that against me? 423 00:33:03,607 --> 00:33:07,570 He couldn't see anything except how infatuated he was with you. 424 00:33:07,695 --> 00:33:11,657 We never spent a single moment alone. I never had anything to do with him. 425 00:33:11,782 --> 00:33:17,455 And I say you seduced him. You just turned it on whenever he was around. 426 00:33:17,580 --> 00:33:20,249 Maybe you didn't even know that you were doing it. 427 00:33:20,374 --> 00:33:23,252 Claire, let's get off the subject. 428 00:33:23,711 --> 00:33:26,172 I must've seemed very bland to him after you. 429 00:33:26,297 --> 00:33:28,299 This is nonsense! 430 00:33:28,424 --> 00:33:31,969 To have backed off of a close friendship because of some fantasy? 431 00:33:32,094 --> 00:33:34,889 I'm sure I brought it on myself. I was so proud of you. 432 00:33:35,014 --> 00:33:40,770 You were my best friend. You were so witty and so quick, and I was so naive. 433 00:33:40,895 --> 00:33:44,648 Of course you would want David to fall for you. He was exceptional. 434 00:33:44,774 --> 00:33:46,984 I never accepted his overtures. 435 00:33:47,109 --> 00:33:49,945 I told him he was going with you and it was out of the question. 436 00:33:50,070 --> 00:33:53,532 - By that time you had what you wanted. - That's absurd. 437 00:33:54,241 --> 00:33:57,953 I really believe that you may not have realised what you were doing. 438 00:33:58,078 --> 00:34:01,707 This is outrageous. You should never drink. 439 00:34:01,832 --> 00:34:07,421 I swear to you, it was never in my mind. Not consciously or subconsciously or... 440 00:34:07,546 --> 00:34:12,426 Think about it. Just think about it sometime. You should be the actress. 441 00:34:23,103 --> 00:34:25,689 (Marion) 'When I got home, Ken was asleep. 442 00:34:25,815 --> 00:34:28,567 'I was too shaken up to go to bed. 443 00:34:28,692 --> 00:34:32,112 'The incident with Claire had left me edgy and uncomfortable. 444 00:34:32,238 --> 00:34:35,574 'I thought if I read for a while, it might relax me. 445 00:34:35,699 --> 00:34:38,661 'I thumbed through my mother's edition of Rilke. 446 00:34:39,703 --> 00:34:44,875 'When I was 16, I had done a paper on his poem about the panther, 447 00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:49,505 'and on the image that the panther saw as it stared out from its cage. 448 00:34:49,630 --> 00:34:53,133 'And that image, I concluded, could only be death. 449 00:34:55,177 --> 00:34:58,722 'Then I saw my mother's favourite poem, 450 00:34:58,848 --> 00:35:01,600 "'Archaic Torso of Apollo". 451 00:35:03,477 --> 00:35:07,940 'There were stains on the page, which I believe were her tears. 452 00:35:09,984 --> 00:35:12,903 'They fell across the last line. 453 00:35:14,405 --> 00:35:18,325 "'For here there is no place that does not see you. 454 00:35:20,494 --> 00:35:23,414 "'You must change your life."' 455 00:35:26,792 --> 00:35:29,086 (Ken) You got in late last night. 456 00:35:29,211 --> 00:35:32,006 (Marion) I ran into an old friend. 457 00:35:32,131 --> 00:35:36,302 Then I didn't sleep. I don't think I closed my eyes for ten minutes. 458 00:35:36,427 --> 00:35:39,388 I don't know how you do it. I'd collapse. 459 00:35:39,513 --> 00:35:42,516 We're going to the concert with Mark and Lydia tonight. 460 00:35:42,641 --> 00:35:45,978 I'm good for today, it's tomorrow I'll feel it. 461 00:35:47,146 --> 00:35:50,733 Yeah, but tomorrow we're going to Tom and Eleanor's for dinner. 462 00:35:50,858 --> 00:35:55,446 And Friday, Mark and Lydia are taking us out for our anniversary. 463 00:35:55,571 --> 00:35:59,742 - Is it our anniversary already? - Yeah. Goes quickly, doesn't it? 464 00:36:03,162 --> 00:36:05,205 What's the matter? 465 00:36:05,331 --> 00:36:07,374 I don't know. 466 00:36:08,751 --> 00:36:10,794 What is it? 467 00:36:11,587 --> 00:36:14,924 Well, you know, shouldn't we spend our anniversary alone? 468 00:36:15,049 --> 00:36:19,261 We could go to the restaurant where we had our first night together. 469 00:36:19,386 --> 00:36:21,597 In Philadelphia? 470 00:36:26,226 --> 00:36:28,228 Hold me. 471 00:36:31,231 --> 00:36:33,067 Hey. 472 00:36:35,027 --> 00:36:36,445 Honey. 473 00:36:39,490 --> 00:36:42,201 I've already found your present. 474 00:36:49,458 --> 00:36:52,836 Did I seduce you away from your wife? 475 00:36:55,089 --> 00:36:58,008 No, I seduced you, don't you remember? 476 00:36:59,051 --> 00:37:03,806 Then I was worried in case you wouldn't consider me because I was married. 477 00:37:05,933 --> 00:37:07,476 Well... 478 00:37:07,601 --> 00:37:12,147 So how was it with Laura last night? You know that kid idolises you. 479 00:37:12,272 --> 00:37:13,691 Yeah. 480 00:37:14,900 --> 00:37:19,780 I'd better get going, I guess. I have to stop at the library on my way downtown. 481 00:37:19,905 --> 00:37:21,323 OK. 482 00:37:42,469 --> 00:37:45,097 (Psychiatrist) You're silent today. 483 00:37:45,222 --> 00:37:47,891 Usually you're quite talkative. 484 00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:52,646 (Woman) Yeah, I... I-I have nothing to say. 485 00:37:55,649 --> 00:37:57,860 (Psychiatrist) Mm-hm. 486 00:38:05,826 --> 00:38:09,121 (Woman) I... That is, I have nothing to report. 487 00:38:13,042 --> 00:38:15,544 (Psychiatrist) Are you angry? 488 00:38:17,171 --> 00:38:19,965 (Woman) No, not that I'm aware of. 489 00:38:20,090 --> 00:38:23,385 (Psychiatrist) But you have nothing to say? 490 00:38:24,136 --> 00:38:25,971 (Woman) No. 491 00:38:37,191 --> 00:38:40,277 (♪ VARÈSE: "Ecuatorial") 492 00:39:33,580 --> 00:39:36,834 (Laura) She saw us, Scott. I asked you to lock the door. 493 00:39:36,959 --> 00:39:39,461 (Scott) You said they were walking in the woods. 494 00:39:39,586 --> 00:39:43,674 (Laura) Dad said he was uncomfortable about us being here for the weekend, 495 00:39:43,799 --> 00:39:49,012 and I tried to explain, make him trust me, and I said it would be all right, and this... 496 00:39:49,138 --> 00:39:52,933 - Come on, I'm sure she's sophisticated. - Yeah, you don't know Marion. 497 00:39:53,058 --> 00:39:57,354 - I thought you said she was pretty hip. - Yeah, she is, she's great. She's... 498 00:39:57,479 --> 00:40:01,483 She's great. She... I dunno, it's just that she's, um... 499 00:40:02,818 --> 00:40:05,445 She's a little... judgmental. 500 00:40:05,571 --> 00:40:10,826 You know? She sort of stands above people and evaluates them. 501 00:40:11,618 --> 00:40:14,580 I've heard her make remarks about her brother, and... 502 00:40:14,705 --> 00:40:18,667 I always think that she's gonna judge me that way. I dunno. 503 00:40:18,792 --> 00:40:23,463 I just... Now I feel really cheap for some reason. 504 00:40:24,173 --> 00:40:25,883 - (Scott) Cheap? - Yes. 505 00:40:26,008 --> 00:40:27,384 - Cheap? - (Laughs) Yes. 506 00:40:27,509 --> 00:40:30,012 - I thought it was very romantic. - It was. 507 00:40:30,137 --> 00:40:33,015 (Scott) With the fire, and the wine... 508 00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:35,642 (Laura) Yeah. It was. 509 00:40:37,895 --> 00:40:40,689 (Marion) 'I couldn't work anymore that day. 510 00:40:40,814 --> 00:40:43,483 'I felt I needed some fresh air. 511 00:40:44,484 --> 00:40:46,486 'I walked the streets aimlessly, 512 00:40:46,612 --> 00:40:50,574 just trying to put some jumbled thoughts in order. 513 00:40:50,699 --> 00:40:52,534 'I don't know how long I wandered, 514 00:40:52,659 --> 00:40:56,663 'but when I looked up I was quite far from my writing room.' 515 00:41:15,641 --> 00:41:17,684 What's happened? 516 00:41:19,144 --> 00:41:21,188 I don't know. 517 00:41:23,148 --> 00:41:25,943 Well, what are you doing here? 518 00:41:30,656 --> 00:41:34,534 - Something must be wrong. - Oh, don't say that. 519 00:41:35,869 --> 00:41:39,706 Marion, you don't seek out my company very often. 520 00:41:40,582 --> 00:41:42,960 You must need something. 521 00:41:43,085 --> 00:41:45,671 Yes, I do need something. 522 00:41:45,796 --> 00:41:48,799 Only I don't know what it is, exactly. 523 00:41:50,175 --> 00:41:54,888 - Well, what do I have I could offer? - You can be honest with me, Paul. 524 00:41:55,555 --> 00:41:58,600 You and I were so close when we were young. 525 00:42:01,353 --> 00:42:03,605 How honest do you want me to be? 526 00:42:03,730 --> 00:42:08,860 It was just today that I realised how long it's been since we've even spoken. 527 00:42:08,986 --> 00:42:10,237 Well... 528 00:42:11,738 --> 00:42:16,618 I gave up pursuing you when I realised how uncomfortable it made you feel. 529 00:42:16,743 --> 00:42:20,497 - That's not true. - Don't deny it. Come on, Marion. 530 00:42:23,709 --> 00:42:25,752 You know... 531 00:42:26,420 --> 00:42:30,632 I realised... that I disappointed you. 532 00:42:30,757 --> 00:42:35,595 And worse, I realised that I embarrass you. How I live and who I marry... 533 00:42:37,347 --> 00:42:42,019 Of course, that's falling apart now, so we don't have to worry about it. 534 00:42:42,144 --> 00:42:44,980 She wants me to work for Cousin Andrew. 535 00:42:50,527 --> 00:42:56,241 But she's right, because I never have supported her and the kids properly. 536 00:42:56,366 --> 00:42:59,828 Well, would that be so awful? Working for Andrew? 537 00:43:02,039 --> 00:43:04,416 You used to say that. 538 00:43:04,541 --> 00:43:07,669 I know. I know I did, but... 539 00:43:07,794 --> 00:43:11,340 - Times change. - Yeah, they certainly do. 540 00:43:12,424 --> 00:43:15,344 Do you remember, some years ago, 541 00:43:15,469 --> 00:43:20,474 when I showed you something I'd written? Remember what you said? 542 00:43:21,266 --> 00:43:25,395 No, I don't remember. I was probably just trying to be truthful. 543 00:43:26,313 --> 00:43:31,234 Yes, I'm sure. You said, "This is overblown. 544 00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:33,904 "It's too emotional. It's maudlin. 545 00:43:34,029 --> 00:43:39,785 "Your dreams may be meaningful to you, but to the objective observer, they're... 546 00:43:39,910 --> 00:43:42,496 "It's so embarrassing." 547 00:43:43,497 --> 00:43:45,290 I said that? 548 00:43:45,415 --> 00:43:47,918 Exactly your words. 549 00:43:50,337 --> 00:43:53,006 So I try not to embarrass you... 550 00:43:53,131 --> 00:43:55,217 any more. 551 00:44:00,889 --> 00:44:02,933 I should go. 552 00:44:04,726 --> 00:44:08,021 (♪ MAHLER: "Symphony No. 4 in G Major") 553 00:44:24,538 --> 00:44:28,417 I've spent all afternoon trying to think of a great place to take you two 554 00:44:28,542 --> 00:44:30,836 to celebrate your anniversary on Friday. 555 00:44:30,961 --> 00:44:34,214 What's wrong with the hotel in Philadelphia 556 00:44:34,339 --> 00:44:38,510 where you had your first illicit moments of passion? 557 00:44:38,635 --> 00:44:42,764 - You see? He thinks like you think. - He drinks, not thinks. 558 00:44:42,889 --> 00:44:48,562 I should drink. I should drink. If I ever started drinking... This is not drinking. 559 00:44:48,687 --> 00:44:51,940 Excuse me, I'm sorry to disturb you, but... 560 00:44:52,566 --> 00:44:56,611 I was a pupil of yours 20 years ago in Vermont. 561 00:44:56,736 --> 00:44:59,739 Cynthia Frank? You probably won't remember, but... 562 00:44:59,865 --> 00:45:01,950 Yes, I do. I do remember you. 563 00:45:02,075 --> 00:45:04,744 - You changed my life. - I did? 564 00:45:04,870 --> 00:45:09,541 You... she was the inspiration for every woman in the philosophy department. 565 00:45:09,666 --> 00:45:14,004 - That's very kind of you. - I still remember the lectures so clearly. 566 00:45:14,129 --> 00:45:19,968 There was a particular talk you gave on ethics and moral responsibility that... 567 00:45:20,552 --> 00:45:25,932 Well, your ideas were amazing to me, and they're still amazing to me. 568 00:45:27,350 --> 00:45:30,437 Well, I didn't mean to interrupt, but I wanted to tell you. 569 00:45:30,562 --> 00:45:35,567 I've seen you here before, and I never was able to say that you changed my life. 570 00:45:35,692 --> 00:45:37,110 Thanks. 571 00:45:37,235 --> 00:45:40,363 (Mark) Hey, all right. All right. Well done. 572 00:45:40,489 --> 00:45:43,116 Do you remember that lecture? 573 00:45:43,241 --> 00:45:46,661 It's terrific that she just turned around and... 574 00:45:46,786 --> 00:45:49,247 (Lydia) It's very touching. 575 00:45:50,415 --> 00:45:52,751 (Marion) 'I had spent a second sleepless night, 576 00:45:52,876 --> 00:45:55,629 'and the following day at work I really felt it. 577 00:45:56,129 --> 00:46:00,759 'I couldn't write at all, and what little I did try was forced. 578 00:46:00,884 --> 00:46:05,055 'Usually I can't sleep in the day, but I was exhausted. 579 00:46:05,180 --> 00:46:08,266 'I closed my eyes for a few minutes, 580 00:46:08,391 --> 00:46:11,186 'and that's when the dream must have come.' 581 00:46:12,229 --> 00:46:15,357 (Psychiatrist) You're not gonna say anything? 582 00:46:17,484 --> 00:46:20,820 You haven't said a thing, and your hour's almost up. 583 00:46:23,406 --> 00:46:26,243 I don't believe you have nothing to say. 584 00:46:28,828 --> 00:46:31,540 I think it's because you're angry. 585 00:46:32,999 --> 00:46:35,710 Too choked with rage to speak. 586 00:46:35,835 --> 00:46:38,505 What is it that enrages you? 587 00:46:46,471 --> 00:46:48,515 (Woman) Life. 588 00:46:49,224 --> 00:46:53,895 - Life? - The... the universe. 589 00:46:54,020 --> 00:46:57,065 The cruelty, the injustice. 590 00:46:57,190 --> 00:46:59,693 The suffering of humanity. 591 00:46:59,818 --> 00:47:03,488 Illness, ageing... death. 592 00:47:03,613 --> 00:47:08,660 All very abstract. "Humanity." Don't worry about humanity all the time. 593 00:47:08,785 --> 00:47:11,204 Get your own life in order. 594 00:47:12,038 --> 00:47:15,125 - (Sighs) Yeah. - We'll continue this tomorrow. 595 00:47:22,132 --> 00:47:25,218 What would you say she was suffering from? 596 00:47:25,677 --> 00:47:29,055 - Self-deception. - Good. It's a little general. 597 00:47:30,223 --> 00:47:34,102 - I don't think she can part with the lies. - No? Too bad. 598 00:47:35,687 --> 00:47:39,774 - Not that she doesn't want to. - It's precisely that she doesn't want to. 599 00:47:39,899 --> 00:47:42,902 When she wants to, she will. 600 00:47:43,028 --> 00:47:45,905 - It's all happening so fast. - I have to hurry. 601 00:47:46,031 --> 00:47:49,284 I'm trying to prevent her from killing herself. 602 00:47:50,076 --> 00:47:53,705 - You don't think she would? - She's already begun. 603 00:47:53,830 --> 00:47:56,374 - She has? - Oh, not very dramatically. 604 00:47:56,499 --> 00:47:58,168 That's not her style. 605 00:47:58,293 --> 00:48:00,420 She's doing it slowly and methodically, 606 00:48:00,545 --> 00:48:03,506 and has been since she was very young. 607 00:48:03,632 --> 00:48:06,760 Now, if you'll pardon me, I have another patient. 608 00:48:25,111 --> 00:48:27,280 Now that my life is... 609 00:48:27,864 --> 00:48:30,533 drawing to a close, 610 00:48:30,659 --> 00:48:33,161 I have only regrets. 611 00:48:34,162 --> 00:48:38,124 Regrets that the woman I shared my life with 612 00:48:38,917 --> 00:48:41,961 is not the one I loved the most deeply. 613 00:48:43,129 --> 00:48:48,718 Regrets that there is no love between my son and myself. That is my fault. 614 00:48:50,136 --> 00:48:54,808 Regrets that perhaps I've been too severe with my daughter, 615 00:48:55,684 --> 00:49:01,147 too demanding, that I haven't given her enough feeling. 616 00:49:02,982 --> 00:49:05,694 But I was so unhappy myself, 617 00:49:05,819 --> 00:49:11,408 so caught up in those stupid studies of historical figures. 618 00:49:13,326 --> 00:49:17,956 Even though I have achieved some eminence in my field, 619 00:49:18,998 --> 00:49:21,793 I asked too little of myself. 620 00:49:23,837 --> 00:49:26,089 (Marion) 'Suddenly the dream shifted 621 00:49:26,214 --> 00:49:29,592 'and I found myself on a street that was familiar. 622 00:49:29,718 --> 00:49:34,431 'It seemed to be where I had run into Claire, in front of the Theatre.' 623 00:49:35,181 --> 00:49:37,183 (♪ VARÈSE: "Ecuatorial") 624 00:49:47,944 --> 00:49:50,697 - What's going on? - Come on in. It's OK. 625 00:49:52,365 --> 00:49:57,078 Would she like to observe the rehearsal? Claire is such a good actress. 626 00:49:57,203 --> 00:50:00,039 She plays innumerable roles. 627 00:50:00,165 --> 00:50:03,501 Would you ever think of making love to me on the living room floor? 628 00:50:03,626 --> 00:50:07,756 - Would you want me to? - I don't know. Would you want to? 629 00:50:08,256 --> 00:50:11,509 Well, somehow I've never seen you as the hardwood floor type. 630 00:50:11,634 --> 00:50:15,472 No. That's a pretty insulting thing to say. 631 00:50:16,014 --> 00:50:20,935 It's you that's the type not to make love anywhere but in bed with the lights out. 632 00:50:21,060 --> 00:50:25,398 - Now who's being insulting? - I suppose you'll undress and go to bed. 633 00:50:25,523 --> 00:50:27,859 Well, it's 01:00am. 634 00:50:29,068 --> 00:50:34,657 Let's try being honest. There's not much passion left in this marriage, is there? 635 00:50:35,700 --> 00:50:38,578 - Is there not? I haven't noticed. - Don't be so aloof. 636 00:50:38,703 --> 00:50:42,373 I'm trying to tell you something. It's not erotic any more. 637 00:50:42,499 --> 00:50:45,084 - Well, was it ever? - Was it not? 638 00:50:45,877 --> 00:50:48,004 Marion, I'm tired. 639 00:50:48,129 --> 00:50:51,925 We rarely sleep together any more, and when we do, it's by the book. 640 00:50:52,050 --> 00:50:56,304 It's the same routine. I know what you're going to do and in what order. 641 00:50:56,429 --> 00:50:59,891 Yeah, it's true, we are both creatures of routine. 642 00:51:00,016 --> 00:51:02,477 Now can we go to sleep? It's late. 643 00:51:02,602 --> 00:51:06,940 And could you please try not to toss and talk in your sleep? 644 00:51:07,816 --> 00:51:12,946 Last night you kept saying "Larry". I assume you dreamed about Larry Lewis. 645 00:51:13,071 --> 00:51:15,824 (Marion) 'At the mention of Larry Lewis's name, 646 00:51:15,949 --> 00:51:20,453 'I experienced odd feelings of melancholy and longing. 647 00:51:21,496 --> 00:51:24,165 'I wanted to weep in the dream, 648 00:51:24,290 --> 00:51:27,126 'but the tears wouldn't come.' 649 00:51:27,919 --> 00:51:32,048 - Are you married? - Yes. You knew I got married. 650 00:51:33,883 --> 00:51:35,927 Oh, yes. 651 00:51:36,803 --> 00:51:38,763 Yes, I had heard that. 652 00:51:38,888 --> 00:51:42,183 Larry wants us to move back to New York, but I don't. 653 00:51:42,308 --> 00:51:44,978 We've had such a nice time in Santa Fe. 654 00:51:45,979 --> 00:51:48,982 - Are you happy? - I'm happy. 655 00:51:49,858 --> 00:51:53,987 Why don't I leave you two? I'm sure you have a lot to talk about. 656 00:51:58,950 --> 00:52:02,579 I see your by-line now and then in magazines. 657 00:52:03,496 --> 00:52:05,874 Did you read my novel? 658 00:52:05,999 --> 00:52:10,378 I have it, but I am embarrassed to say I haven't read it yet. 659 00:52:10,503 --> 00:52:13,256 You inspired one of the characters. 660 00:52:13,381 --> 00:52:15,425 Oh? 661 00:52:15,550 --> 00:52:20,847 - I hope you weren't too rough on me. - No. I wrote of you with great love. 662 00:52:22,974 --> 00:52:24,976 Your wife is lovely. 663 00:52:25,101 --> 00:52:28,229 Yes. I met her right after you said goodbye to me. 664 00:52:28,354 --> 00:52:31,858 Her name's Jennifer. She's also quite a good writer. 665 00:52:33,526 --> 00:52:35,904 - Do you have any children? - Yes. 666 00:52:36,362 --> 00:52:38,448 We have a daughter. 667 00:52:38,573 --> 00:52:42,702 It's been the greatest, most beautiful experience of my life. 668 00:52:53,129 --> 00:52:55,632 Do you ever think of me? 669 00:52:55,757 --> 00:52:58,885 (Larry) Do you ever think of me? 670 00:52:59,010 --> 00:53:01,220 Once in a while. 671 00:53:02,972 --> 00:53:05,642 I hope you're happy with Ken. 672 00:53:06,225 --> 00:53:10,647 I ran into him on the street not too long ago. He must have told you. 673 00:53:10,772 --> 00:53:14,067 I think of you more than once in a while. 674 00:53:14,776 --> 00:53:19,447 But without regret. Please, don't tell me you have any regret. 675 00:53:19,572 --> 00:53:24,702 (Claire) Darling, come here for a moment. I want to show you a beautiful sunset. 676 00:53:25,244 --> 00:53:27,747 Which character in your novel did I inspire? 677 00:53:27,872 --> 00:53:31,167 Hlenka. I gave you a beautiful name. Hlenka. 678 00:53:32,085 --> 00:53:34,462 I described our times together. 679 00:53:34,587 --> 00:53:37,090 You'll recognise it. 680 00:53:37,215 --> 00:53:39,676 I have to go now. 681 00:53:39,801 --> 00:53:42,387 My wife needs me. 682 00:53:50,061 --> 00:53:52,981 Marion, please, don't cry. 683 00:53:53,106 --> 00:53:55,984 Although I am glad to hear our little scene is moving. 684 00:53:56,109 --> 00:53:59,654 - I'd like to go home. - And you will. 685 00:53:59,779 --> 00:54:03,908 I just thought you might like to see our second act finale. 686 00:54:04,033 --> 00:54:07,120 Your first husband's suicide scene. 687 00:54:07,996 --> 00:54:10,206 It's touching. 688 00:54:10,331 --> 00:54:12,375 Sam was not a suicide. 689 00:54:12,500 --> 00:54:16,671 How do you know? It was 15 years after you divorced. 690 00:54:18,089 --> 00:54:22,010 He died in his sleep from mixing pills and alcohol. 691 00:54:22,760 --> 00:54:24,929 I was at his funeral. 692 00:54:25,054 --> 00:54:28,099 (Jack) Well, you know, that's always a Grey area. 693 00:54:28,224 --> 00:54:30,184 Alone in a hotel room, 694 00:54:30,309 --> 00:54:32,645 depressed... 695 00:54:32,770 --> 00:54:35,481 (Marion) Sam was a wonderful man. 696 00:54:36,524 --> 00:54:39,652 We had such lovely times together. 697 00:54:41,237 --> 00:54:43,614 You taught me so much. 698 00:54:43,740 --> 00:54:46,117 You were a wonderful pupil. 699 00:54:46,242 --> 00:54:48,953 Certainly the most interesting one in my class. 700 00:54:49,078 --> 00:54:51,581 Still, the age difference... 701 00:54:52,123 --> 00:54:55,543 I shouldn't have seduced you. Intellectually, that is. 702 00:54:55,668 --> 00:54:58,546 I should have resisted that temptation. 703 00:54:59,005 --> 00:55:03,051 I shouldn't have made you adore me, but you were such a dazzling pupil, 704 00:55:03,176 --> 00:55:05,887 the temptation was too great. 705 00:55:06,012 --> 00:55:08,639 And so I paid the price. 706 00:55:08,765 --> 00:55:11,350 We both paid the price. 707 00:55:11,476 --> 00:55:16,355 Inevitably there comes a time when the pupil absorbs all that he or she can. 708 00:55:17,190 --> 00:55:21,152 And what seemed like constant joyous imparting of knowledge and opinions 709 00:55:21,277 --> 00:55:23,696 becomes suffocation. 710 00:55:24,405 --> 00:55:27,742 Ironically, that's what they wrote on my death certificate. 711 00:55:27,867 --> 00:55:29,911 "Suffocation." 712 00:55:30,745 --> 00:55:32,747 Oh, Sam. 713 00:55:32,872 --> 00:55:37,418 (Jack) Wait, there's another important scene between you and Sam. 714 00:55:37,543 --> 00:55:39,587 No. 715 00:55:39,712 --> 00:55:41,714 No more. 716 00:55:45,218 --> 00:55:48,387 (Marion) 'That night we had what was supposed to be a charming dinner 717 00:55:48,513 --> 00:55:51,390 'with Tom and Eleanor Banks. Doctor Banks. 718 00:55:52,183 --> 00:55:56,771 'Everyone was full of energy, and I must've seemed drab in contrast. 719 00:55:57,814 --> 00:56:02,318 'Not only was I tired, but the dream had put me in a foul mood.' 720 00:56:09,367 --> 00:56:11,244 Tom and Eleanor are funny. 721 00:56:11,369 --> 00:56:15,206 All that carrying-on about ESP and parapsychology. 722 00:56:15,331 --> 00:56:17,834 You'd think they'd be more sensible. 723 00:56:17,959 --> 00:56:22,213 And then when you put it down so unequivocally, I thought they'd die. 724 00:56:22,338 --> 00:56:24,841 You were a little cruel, however correct. 725 00:56:24,966 --> 00:56:29,971 I was so tired, I was in a stinking mood. And who knows? Maybe they're right. 726 00:56:30,096 --> 00:56:33,641 Maybe there is more to life than meets the eye. What the hell do I know? 727 00:56:33,766 --> 00:56:39,147 Their beliefs are one step ahead of Ouija boards. And all that talk about Greece! 728 00:56:39,272 --> 00:56:42,358 You'd think no one had sailed round the Greek islands before. 729 00:56:42,483 --> 00:56:46,154 If we're so contemptuous of Tom and Eleanor, why do we go out with them? 730 00:56:46,279 --> 00:56:49,365 It's just when they get on to certain topics. 731 00:56:49,490 --> 00:56:51,492 Next week it'll be flying saucers! 732 00:56:51,617 --> 00:56:54,328 Why do we have to see people every night anyway? 733 00:56:54,453 --> 00:56:57,165 We never spend any time alone. 734 00:56:57,290 --> 00:57:00,668 - Well, that's not so. - Yes, it is so. Every night it's friends. 735 00:57:00,793 --> 00:57:04,172 Yours, mine, people we hardly know. 736 00:57:04,297 --> 00:57:06,174 We've known Tom and Eleanor for years. 737 00:57:06,299 --> 00:57:08,676 - And you don't even enjoy him. - Of course I do. 738 00:57:08,801 --> 00:57:12,597 You've spoken contemptuously many times because he's a radiologist, 739 00:57:12,722 --> 00:57:15,183 - which you don't take seriously. - I'm joking. 740 00:57:15,308 --> 00:57:19,103 No, you're not. You disguise it as joking, but you're serious. 741 00:57:19,228 --> 00:57:24,358 - You're trying to provoke an argument. - Why are we afraid to be alone together? 742 00:57:24,483 --> 00:57:28,321 - I didn't think we were. - Because we've nothing to say any more? 743 00:57:28,446 --> 00:57:29,447 We talk. 744 00:57:29,572 --> 00:57:32,200 Why go out with Mark and Lydia on our anniversary anyway? 745 00:57:32,325 --> 00:57:35,578 If that's all that's bothering you, we won't go. 746 00:57:35,703 --> 00:57:40,416 But neither should we drive all the way to the hotel where we had our first tryst. 747 00:57:40,541 --> 00:57:44,629 Don't do that. Don't make something romantic sound infantile. 748 00:57:44,754 --> 00:57:47,924 OK, but it's the same level of maturity as sex on the floor. 749 00:57:48,049 --> 00:57:51,010 We might as well have it on the floor. We don't have it in bed. 750 00:57:51,135 --> 00:57:55,014 - I don't believe we're discussing this. - Why've you stopped sleeping with me? 751 00:57:55,139 --> 00:57:58,601 We are simply going through a less active period, that's all. 752 00:57:58,726 --> 00:58:00,269 It's not uncommon. 753 00:58:00,394 --> 00:58:02,855 Why? I just wanna know why. 754 00:58:03,814 --> 00:58:05,858 Why don't we just go to bed? 755 00:58:05,983 --> 00:58:09,362 There was a time that we were dying to be together. 756 00:58:11,155 --> 00:58:15,117 Marion, you're still the most desirable woman I know. 757 00:58:15,243 --> 00:58:19,497 But we won't make love tonight because there'll be some excuse. 758 00:58:22,500 --> 00:58:27,004 I hadn't realised how much of that had slipped away until today. 759 00:58:27,755 --> 00:58:32,593 I'm really sorry. If I've done anything wrong, forgive me. 760 00:58:33,344 --> 00:58:35,179 I accept your condemnation. 761 00:58:45,022 --> 00:58:47,984 (♪ BACH: "Unaccompanied Cello Suite in D Major") 762 00:58:50,319 --> 00:58:52,530 (Sam) 'You were a wonderful pupil. 763 00:58:52,655 --> 00:58:58,035 'Certainly the most interesting one in my class. Still, the age difference...' 764 00:59:03,708 --> 00:59:05,084 I love you. 765 00:59:05,710 --> 00:59:08,087 I love you too. 766 00:59:11,882 --> 00:59:14,552 - Happy birthday. - I told you not to bother. 767 00:59:14,677 --> 00:59:17,638 Oh, I wanted to. Open it. 768 00:59:21,475 --> 00:59:26,188 While you were out I read your paper. It was quite brilliantly written. 769 00:59:26,314 --> 00:59:30,860 It's your work that's brilliant. And more important, it's original. 770 00:59:32,320 --> 00:59:35,281 - What is it? From a play or something? - Yes. 771 00:59:35,406 --> 00:59:38,784 It's an original from a French production of "La Gioconda". 772 00:59:38,909 --> 00:59:41,954 - I love it. - I thought you'd like it. 773 00:59:42,079 --> 00:59:45,166 It was all I could afford from that great store. 774 01:00:05,770 --> 01:00:08,731 (♪ WEILL & BRECHT: "The Bilbao Song") 775 01:00:10,107 --> 01:00:11,901 (Marion) 'The following morning, 776 01:00:12,026 --> 01:00:15,196 'I realised I'd forgotten to get an anniversary gift for Ken. 777 01:00:15,321 --> 01:00:19,158 'I thought it would be a simple thing, but it took surprisingly long. 778 01:00:19,283 --> 01:00:22,870 'The truth was I couldn't really think of what he might like. 779 01:00:22,995 --> 01:00:27,416 'After window-shopping for an hour or so, I came across an old antiques store. 780 01:00:27,541 --> 01:00:30,961 'At first I didn't think there'd be anything special for him there, 781 01:00:31,087 --> 01:00:34,048 'but somehow I was drawn to look further. 782 01:00:34,173 --> 01:00:39,011 'The place was empty and dusty, and in the back a radio was playing. 783 01:00:39,637 --> 01:00:44,725 'It was full of odd pieces, and I found browsing in it quite fascinating.' 784 01:01:05,913 --> 01:01:08,332 (Woman sobbing) 785 01:01:17,007 --> 01:01:20,052 Excuse me. Are you all right? 786 01:01:23,139 --> 01:01:25,850 Thank you. I'm OK. 787 01:01:30,020 --> 01:01:32,231 Can I help you? 788 01:01:33,941 --> 01:01:39,029 I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm so emotional. I was... 789 01:01:39,155 --> 01:01:41,407 Thank you. 790 01:01:41,532 --> 01:01:46,328 Thank you. I was... I was just looking at that picture there, and I... 791 01:01:46,454 --> 01:01:48,873 And I just felt so sad. 792 01:01:48,998 --> 01:01:51,750 Oh, but this is a very optimistic work. 793 01:01:51,876 --> 01:01:56,422 You know, I saw the original of this once. In fact, its title is "Hope". 794 01:01:57,590 --> 01:02:02,803 I think, of all the paintings Klimt did in that period, this is the most positive. 795 01:02:03,804 --> 01:02:05,848 I'm sorry. 796 01:02:09,018 --> 01:02:10,853 Are you an artist? 797 01:02:10,978 --> 01:02:14,106 Yes. Well, I used to do some painting when I was younger. 798 01:02:14,231 --> 01:02:17,276 I was absolutely in love with this whole school. 799 01:02:20,196 --> 01:02:24,617 It's funny. Just this morning I was thinking about... that I missed painting. 800 01:02:24,742 --> 01:02:28,078 - I'd like to get back into it. - Really? 801 01:02:31,874 --> 01:02:34,710 I guess we all imagine what might have been. 802 01:02:36,045 --> 01:02:38,839 But that was a long time ago. 803 01:02:40,090 --> 01:02:42,426 Well, anyway... 804 01:02:45,137 --> 01:02:48,432 - Are you feeling better now? - Yes, I just wanna get some air. 805 01:02:48,557 --> 01:02:52,895 - What kind of paintings did you do? - Oh, watercolours, mostly. 806 01:02:55,105 --> 01:02:57,691 (Marion) 'We left the store and walked along together. 807 01:02:57,816 --> 01:03:00,694 'I wanted to know her better without seeming pushy. 808 01:03:00,819 --> 01:03:04,698 'We talked about art, and the discussion seemed to cheer her a little. 809 01:03:05,574 --> 01:03:08,994 'We stopped at a gallery and spent time marvelling at the pictures, 810 01:03:09,119 --> 01:03:12,248 'and I took a chance and invited her to lunch. 811 01:03:12,373 --> 01:03:14,583 'I was excited when she accepted. 812 01:03:14,708 --> 01:03:18,796 'She suggested a little out-of-the-way place that was charming and private. 813 01:03:18,921 --> 01:03:23,217 'We ordered a bottle of wine, although she hardly touched it, being pregnant. 814 01:03:23,342 --> 01:03:26,011 'The result was that I wound up drinking most of it, 815 01:03:26,136 --> 01:03:32,017 'and while I really wanted to find out about her, it was me who did most of the talking.' 816 01:03:32,142 --> 01:03:33,561 Fifty. 817 01:03:35,145 --> 01:03:37,982 I didn't think anything of turning 30. 818 01:03:42,486 --> 01:03:45,197 Everybody said I would. 819 01:03:45,322 --> 01:03:48,409 Then they said I'd be crushed turning 40. 820 01:03:49,493 --> 01:03:53,289 But they were wrong. I didn't give it a second's thought. 821 01:03:55,708 --> 01:03:59,878 Then they said that I'd be traumatised when I hit 50. 822 01:04:01,755 --> 01:04:04,216 And they were right. 823 01:04:06,719 --> 01:04:09,305 I'll tell you the truth. 824 01:04:10,306 --> 01:04:14,059 I don't think I've ever recovered my balance since turning 50. 825 01:04:14,184 --> 01:04:16,687 Aw, gee, 50's not so old. 826 01:04:17,688 --> 01:04:20,190 No, I know it isn't, but... 827 01:04:21,609 --> 01:04:25,070 you just suddenly look up and see where you are. 828 01:04:25,195 --> 01:04:27,781 You're in a good spot, aren't you? 829 01:04:30,200 --> 01:04:32,661 Well, I thought I was. 830 01:04:34,705 --> 01:04:38,626 And then there's chances gone by you can't have back again. 831 01:04:38,751 --> 01:04:41,211 Well, like what? 832 01:04:41,754 --> 01:04:43,797 I don't know. 833 01:04:48,218 --> 01:04:51,055 Maybe it would be nice to have a child. 834 01:04:55,225 --> 01:04:57,561 You really think that? 835 01:05:02,232 --> 01:05:04,068 I do. 836 01:05:05,402 --> 01:05:09,031 I've never said it before, but I do. 837 01:05:11,241 --> 01:05:14,703 (Sam) 'How arrogant! How self-centred and feelingless!' 838 01:05:14,828 --> 01:05:16,664 I told you I didn't want a baby! 839 01:05:16,789 --> 01:05:19,124 What do you mean, "you didn't want a baby"? 840 01:05:19,249 --> 01:05:23,253 - It was partly mine. - Except it's my life that gets derailed. 841 01:05:23,379 --> 01:05:26,090 - I'm just destroyed! - You go on doing what you want... 842 01:05:26,215 --> 01:05:30,469 - and I have to stop and bring it up. - But we'd share the responsibility. 843 01:05:30,594 --> 01:05:33,972 - You know it would devolve down to me. - I wanted this baby! 844 01:05:34,098 --> 01:05:38,185 - I told you, it was not part of my plan. - But you did it without consulting me. 845 01:05:38,310 --> 01:05:40,354 Consulting you? It's my baby. 846 01:05:40,479 --> 01:05:44,400 Do I have to consult you for every move I make? It's only your ego that's hurt. 847 01:05:44,525 --> 01:05:47,361 - You said you wanted children. - I do, but not now. 848 01:05:47,486 --> 01:05:50,948 I don't have the future stretched out in front of me indefinitely. 849 01:05:51,073 --> 01:05:55,160 It's easy for you to say. You've done your work. I'm just starting out. 850 01:05:55,285 --> 01:05:58,622 I'm trying to make something of myself! It's not fair to the child. 851 01:05:58,747 --> 01:06:02,626 But you do it without asking me! Or giving me a chance to argue you out of it! 852 01:06:02,751 --> 01:06:04,670 I didn't want to be argued out of it. 853 01:06:04,795 --> 01:06:08,507 We've talked this to death! It was unwanted! 854 01:06:08,632 --> 01:06:12,720 Do you want to bring a child into this world, really? 855 01:06:12,845 --> 01:06:15,013 You're the one that hates it so much, 856 01:06:15,139 --> 01:06:18,434 forever lecturing me on the pointlessness of existence. 857 01:06:18,559 --> 01:06:21,603 - I hate you so! - Let me go! Stop it! 858 01:06:21,729 --> 01:06:24,815 I can't stand this anymore. Let me go! 859 01:06:24,940 --> 01:06:27,943 To be capable of such a lack of feeling! 860 01:06:28,068 --> 01:06:30,195 Knowing how I felt! 861 01:06:30,320 --> 01:06:32,448 Caring only about how you felt! 862 01:06:32,573 --> 01:06:35,659 Your career. Your life of the mind. 863 01:07:23,499 --> 01:07:26,960 (Woman) I feel... I feel a little depressed. 864 01:07:28,837 --> 01:07:31,632 I met a really sad woman today. 865 01:07:32,382 --> 01:07:34,927 A woman you'd think would have everything. 866 01:07:35,052 --> 01:07:37,930 And she doesn't. She has nothing. 867 01:07:38,639 --> 01:07:41,391 And it made me feel frightened. 868 01:07:42,142 --> 01:07:44,102 Because I feel... 869 01:07:44,228 --> 01:07:47,231 I feel if I don't stop myself, 870 01:07:47,356 --> 01:07:51,819 as the years go by, I'm gonna wind up that way. 871 01:07:54,154 --> 01:07:56,824 She can't allow herself to feel. 872 01:07:56,949 --> 01:08:00,410 So the result is, she's led this... 873 01:08:01,245 --> 01:08:06,250 cold, cerebral life, and has alienated everyone around her. 874 01:08:08,085 --> 01:08:10,838 Well, you know, we've talked about this before, 875 01:08:10,963 --> 01:08:14,800 how I... how I only... only hear and see what I want to. 876 01:08:15,259 --> 01:08:18,470 That's exactly what she does. She... 877 01:08:18,595 --> 01:08:22,307 She's pretended for so long that everything's fine, 878 01:08:22,432 --> 01:08:26,270 but you can see clearly how... how lost she is. 879 01:08:28,772 --> 01:08:32,985 She had an abortion years ago, which she regrets. 880 01:08:33,110 --> 01:08:35,529 She rationalises it in many ways, 881 01:08:35,654 --> 01:08:40,826 but I think the truth is she was afraid of the feelings she would have for a baby. 882 01:08:42,244 --> 01:08:45,247 And she's a very bright woman, very accomplished. 883 01:08:45,831 --> 01:08:51,503 But like me, she... Well, you know emotions have always embarrassed me. 884 01:08:53,005 --> 01:08:55,799 I've run away from men who I felt threatened me, 885 01:08:55,924 --> 01:08:59,928 because the intensity of their passion just frightens me. 886 01:09:02,806 --> 01:09:07,811 I guess you can't keep deep feelings closed out for ever, you know, so... 887 01:09:07,936 --> 01:09:13,317 I just don't want to look up when I'm her age and find my life is empty. 888 01:09:14,443 --> 01:09:17,487 (♪ WEILL & BRECHT: "The Bilbao Song") 889 01:09:23,619 --> 01:09:25,621 (Woman) Anyhow, 890 01:09:25,746 --> 01:09:29,875 while we were at lunch, a very upsetting thing happened. 891 01:09:30,751 --> 01:09:35,505 'In the midst of a conversation, she noticed her friend Lydia.' 892 01:10:20,884 --> 01:10:22,886 (Ken) Marion? 893 01:10:23,887 --> 01:10:26,223 You're late. 894 01:10:26,348 --> 01:10:29,393 I got you an anniversary present. 895 01:10:29,518 --> 01:10:32,938 I know it's tomorrow, but why don't you open it now? 896 01:10:37,985 --> 01:10:40,696 I didn't know what to get you. 897 01:10:47,202 --> 01:10:50,080 As I said, I always like an opera. 898 01:10:55,043 --> 01:10:56,795 Happy anniversary. 899 01:10:57,963 --> 01:11:00,632 Come on, let's get dressed. 900 01:11:03,427 --> 01:11:06,013 I'm not going anywhere. 901 01:11:06,138 --> 01:11:08,724 What are you talking about? 902 01:11:11,935 --> 01:11:16,732 I saw you and Lydia in the restaurant today. You didn't notice me, but... 903 01:11:17,858 --> 01:11:20,444 I watched the two of you. 904 01:11:22,612 --> 01:11:26,783 Afterwards, I went walking for a few hours to calm myself down. 905 01:11:30,037 --> 01:11:33,123 Actually, if I'd had any perception, 906 01:11:34,416 --> 01:11:37,461 I would've been suspicious from the start. 907 01:11:38,170 --> 01:11:41,006 Because you and I committed adultery for months 908 01:11:41,131 --> 01:11:43,800 when you were married to Kathy. 909 01:11:44,885 --> 01:11:47,804 That was a very different situation. 910 01:11:48,847 --> 01:11:51,183 I don't think it was. 911 01:11:56,980 --> 01:12:01,985 I guess it wouldn't mean much if I said to you that it's passing. 912 01:12:04,488 --> 01:12:06,490 It was never very serious. 913 01:12:07,991 --> 01:12:11,828 And it was, uh, utterly foolish of Lydia and myself. 914 01:12:13,872 --> 01:12:17,626 I feel sorry for you, Ken, because, in your way, 915 01:12:17,751 --> 01:12:20,253 you've been as lonely as I have. 916 01:12:23,924 --> 01:12:26,301 Have we been lonely? 917 01:12:29,387 --> 01:12:32,265 At least I've come to recognise it. 918 01:12:37,104 --> 01:12:40,482 (Marion) 'The following days, I didn't get any work done. 919 01:12:40,607 --> 01:12:44,027 'Mostly I walked the streets and just thought about my life, 920 01:12:44,152 --> 01:12:46,571 'trying to put everything in order. 921 01:12:46,696 --> 01:12:49,157 'I felt the need to talk to my brother Paul, 922 01:12:49,282 --> 01:12:53,328 'who had made an important decision about his life too.' 923 01:12:54,371 --> 01:12:57,958 Strange. Lynn and I go through hell and we're staying together, 924 01:12:58,083 --> 01:13:01,128 you and Ken never fight and you're breaking up. 925 01:13:02,754 --> 01:13:06,716 - So will you move out? Or will he? - Oh, no, I will. 926 01:13:07,926 --> 01:13:10,637 I really do want a clean start. 927 01:13:10,762 --> 01:13:14,182 I wanna do a lot of things differently. 928 01:13:14,307 --> 01:13:17,894 And that does mean between us, too. 929 01:13:19,229 --> 01:13:22,732 I'd like to spend a lot more time with you and Lynn. 930 01:13:23,275 --> 01:13:26,069 I'd like to get to know everyone. 931 01:13:27,737 --> 01:13:30,240 If that's OK with you. 932 01:13:45,672 --> 01:13:48,633 So was it Dad's fault? Did he do anything wrong? 933 01:13:48,758 --> 01:13:51,469 Oh, we both did, you know? 934 01:13:51,595 --> 01:13:54,681 I mean, I'm just as much to blame as anybody. 935 01:13:55,265 --> 01:13:58,143 - Maybe more. - Well, it's too bad, you know. 936 01:13:59,603 --> 01:14:04,357 I just wanted to make sure that the shock of it didn't upset you too badly. 937 01:14:04,482 --> 01:14:07,652 Well, I... to tell you the truth, I'm really... 938 01:14:07,777 --> 01:14:12,115 I'm not shocked, I'm just surprised, you know? I mean... 939 01:14:13,533 --> 01:14:18,622 If I can be honest, I always felt there was something between you two that was... 940 01:14:18,747 --> 01:14:24,502 I don't know. Maybe too comfortable, or... that's not the right word. I don't... 941 01:14:24,628 --> 01:14:27,464 Just something, you know? 942 01:14:28,757 --> 01:14:32,844 Well, I hope that this isn't going to have any bearing on us. 943 01:14:32,969 --> 01:14:35,263 I really value your friendship. 944 01:14:35,388 --> 01:14:37,807 Yeah, and I value yours. 945 01:14:44,564 --> 01:14:46,316 (Knocking) 946 01:14:48,777 --> 01:14:51,947 - Yes? - Hello. I'm your next-door neighbour. 947 01:14:52,072 --> 01:14:56,159 And I thought you should know that through some acoustical oddness 948 01:14:56,284 --> 01:14:59,704 - I can hear all your patients quite clearly. - Really? 949 01:14:59,829 --> 01:15:02,040 Well, thank you. I'll take care of it. 950 01:15:02,165 --> 01:15:05,335 I've had the problem before. I know what to do. 951 01:15:05,460 --> 01:15:10,173 By the way, you have a young woman that you see. The pregnant one? 952 01:15:10,298 --> 01:15:13,927 I wonder if you could tell me how I could get in touch with her. 953 01:15:14,052 --> 01:15:16,972 Oh, yes. She's terminated her treatment. 954 01:15:18,765 --> 01:15:21,768 She's gone away. I don't have any way of reaching her. 955 01:15:21,893 --> 01:15:24,271 I'm afraid I can't say any more. 956 01:15:27,357 --> 01:15:29,317 (Marion) 'I resumed work. 957 01:15:29,442 --> 01:15:32,946 'It went well, and I was undisturbed by extraneous distractions. 958 01:15:33,071 --> 01:15:36,700 'The writing seemed to flow and I was full of energy. 959 01:15:36,825 --> 01:15:39,661 'Once on a sunny morning, I paused for a break, 960 01:15:39,786 --> 01:15:44,666 'and I thought I would look through Larry Lewis's novel, which I'd never read. 961 01:15:44,791 --> 01:15:47,544 'I was curious about the character named Hlenka, 962 01:15:47,669 --> 01:15:50,213 'which was rumoured to have been based on me. 963 01:15:50,338 --> 01:15:53,008 'I opened the book, leafed through, 964 01:15:53,133 --> 01:15:56,886 'and sat down as my eye was caught by her name. 965 01:16:04,519 --> 01:16:07,939 "'Hlenka and I accidentally ran into one another one day 966 01:16:08,064 --> 01:16:11,318 "'while we were both buying tickets to a concert. 967 01:16:11,443 --> 01:16:15,780 "'I knew her because she was the lover of a man I knew quite well." 968 01:16:15,905 --> 01:16:18,325 "'Recently they had decided to marry. 969 01:16:18,450 --> 01:16:20,994 "'This was a catastrophe for me personally, 970 01:16:21,119 --> 01:16:24,497 "'because from the first moment he'd introduced me to her, 971 01:16:24,622 --> 01:16:27,042 "'I was in love with her. 972 01:16:27,167 --> 01:16:30,295 "'I convinced her to have a drink with me." 973 01:16:30,420 --> 01:16:34,758 "'It was the only time I'd ever been alone with her since we met. 974 01:16:34,883 --> 01:16:39,137 "'She was lovely, and I spoke too much and too rapidly, 975 01:16:39,262 --> 01:16:42,223 "'because I was embarrassed over my feelings toward her, 976 01:16:42,349 --> 01:16:45,268 "'which I felt were painfully obvious. 977 01:16:46,978 --> 01:16:51,483 "'We walked around in Central Park and talked about lots of things. 978 01:16:51,608 --> 01:16:57,030 "'I told her about a book I was planning to write, and my wanting to live out west. 979 01:16:57,155 --> 01:17:00,241 "'She spoke enthusiastically about her upcoming marriage, 980 01:17:00,367 --> 01:17:02,869 "'but I thought it was too enthusiastic, 981 01:17:02,994 --> 01:17:07,207 "'as if she were trying to convince herself rather than me. 982 01:17:08,083 --> 01:17:10,585 "'Soon it began to rain. 983 01:17:11,127 --> 01:17:15,090 "'We ducked into an underpass to avoid the cloudburst. 984 01:17:15,799 --> 01:17:18,676 "'I remember thinking how wonderful she was, 985 01:17:18,802 --> 01:17:22,305 "'and how beautiful she looked at that moment. 986 01:17:22,430 --> 01:17:28,186 "'And I wanted to tell her so many things, because my feelings were swirling so. 987 01:17:28,311 --> 01:17:32,315 "'And I think she knew everything, and that frightened her. 988 01:17:32,440 --> 01:17:37,112 "'And yet some instinct told me that if I kissed her she would respond. 989 01:17:40,824 --> 01:17:43,618 "'Her kiss was full of desire, 990 01:17:43,743 --> 01:17:48,248 "'and I knew I couldn't share that feeling with anyone else. 991 01:17:51,751 --> 01:17:56,047 "'And then a wall went up, and just as quickly I was screened out. 992 01:17:56,172 --> 01:18:01,344 "'But it was too late, because I now knew that she was capable of intense passion 993 01:18:01,469 --> 01:18:05,181 "'if she would one day just allow herself to feel." 994 01:18:07,684 --> 01:18:13,189 'I closed the book, and felt a strange mixture of wistfulness and hope. 995 01:18:14,524 --> 01:18:17,527 'And I wondered if a memory is something you have 996 01:18:17,652 --> 01:18:20,488 'or something you've lost. 997 01:18:20,613 --> 01:18:25,368 'For the first time in a long time, I felt at peace.' 81961

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