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1
00:00:00,373 --> 00:00:02,199
Do not tell Ben we were in his bin.
2
00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:04,159
Well, at least he's loyal to me and Kwame.
3
00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:07,799
Doesn't call me a bitch
and then not talk to me for a year.
4
00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:09,399
Surely she can stay for a little bit longer.
5
00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:12,399
No, no, she wants to live here
in our house, and I'm not having it.
6
00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:15,679
I'm sorry, but it's not
really your house, dear.
7
00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:17,679
Why didn't you tell me
that you and Kwame dated?
8
00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:20,239
I didn't want to go to bullshit
London in the first place.
9
00:00:20,240 --> 00:00:22,079
- Good to know.
- No, Harry, I...
10
00:00:22,080 --> 00:00:25,320
The problem is us... you. We're the rubbish.
11
00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:28,439
If you've got any ideas,
12
00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:30,050
I'm happy to put you in touch
with my producer.
13
00:00:30,052 --> 00:00:31,316
You mean a TV thing?
14
00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:34,639
- What about this one?
- Mm?
15
00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:38,159
I drive from the east coast
to the west coast...
16
00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:40,079
...in a bus or a van or something...
17
00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:41,080
OK.
18
00:00:41,081 --> 00:00:43,639
...and I cook food and I meet people,
19
00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:46,640
and it's called Easton Goes Western.
20
00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:52,919
Sounds like an excuse to do
a silly wordplay with your name.
21
00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:55,239
Yeah, yeah.
22
00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:58,479
Jamie and Gordon have pillaged
every decent TV idea
23
00:00:58,480 --> 00:00:59,999
and most of the crap ones.
24
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:05,479
What you need is an idea
that's entirely unique to you, hmm?
25
00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:07,039
Yeah.
26
00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:08,399
I'm 73 today.
27
00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:11,079
That's why I can spout off
wise shit like that.
28
00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:14,159
You're kidding?! We should celebrate.
29
00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:16,399
None of us have ever celebrated
one of your birthdays.
30
00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:17,920
I'll get the others.
31
00:01:21,320 --> 00:01:23,320
It's very... you.
32
00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:27,719
We don't have to send it.
If you hate it, I should redo it.
33
00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:29,559
It's your grandma's birthday.
We're having drinks.
34
00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:31,679
- Where's Brett and Denise?
- Asleep.
35
00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:33,039
It's only 8:00.
36
00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:35,399
We're about to send off
Diana's new menu to Viggo.
37
00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:37,479
So, this one is Tits Up,
38
00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:39,519
which is, like, a marshmallowy ode
39
00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,719
to the direction in which
my life has taken lately.
40
00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:45,880
And the other one is a Bacon & Egg Hanglova.
41
00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:51,479
- Wow.
- Yeah.
42
00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:54,239
And we've also got Terry's
Jam and Biscuits on here, too.
43
00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:57,119
This is more like you...
high art meets silly shit.
44
00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:00,159
- Thank you.
- You look more nervous than her.
45
00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:01,639
Are you worried that a Dane won't understand
46
00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:03,479
the nuances of Australian cuisine?
47
00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:06,200
No, no, it's just... it's our
last chance to impress Viggo.
48
00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:10,240
It's good. Let's go.
49
00:02:11,640 --> 00:02:13,399
(LAUGHS)
50
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:16,319
OK, well, it's done now.
51
00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:17,600
Let's go have a drink.
52
00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:21,799
What's the opposite of being cancelled?
53
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:23,919
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
54
00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:25,919
Elon Musk is following you! What?!
55
00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:27,879
They're calling me the Waste Whistleblower.
56
00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:29,719
(LAUGHS)
57
00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:32,279
We were... we were so stupid.
58
00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:33,839
Well, what can I say?
59
00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:36,479
To be reunited with my famous son
60
00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:40,079
and my wonderful, talented
granddaughter I didn't know I had
61
00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:42,879
is the greatest birthday gift.
62
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:46,839
To June, and to the end of
Easton and Diana's sentence
63
00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:48,959
and for our return to London.
64
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,519
Up your bums!
65
00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:52,680
EASTON AND DIANA: Up your bums!
66
00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:56,679
- Oh, and, Grandma...
- (GASPS)
67
00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:59,239
...your birthday cake.
68
00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:02,119
? Happy birthday to you ?
69
00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:05,000
? Happy birthday to you... ?
70
00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:11,720
- Oh, my God!
- (ALL CHEER AND LAUGH)
71
00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:15,400
DENISE: It's 3 am.
72
00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:19,239
BRETT: There's a goat wearing my T-shirt.
73
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,279
EASTON: ? Happy birthday... ?
74
00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,599
She's taken over our lives.
75
00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:24,639
How did we not check who owned the house?
76
00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:26,999
Well, how was I to know that
her name was on the deed
77
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,839
or that she was still alive?
78
00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:30,239
Diana seems to like her.
79
00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:32,519
Well, we're gonna spend
the whole day with Diana tomorrow
80
00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:34,679
before she and Harry leave.
81
00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:37,279
We'll take care of June later.
82
00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:39,639
- (GOAT BLEATS)
- She's riding the goat.
83
00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:42,519
EASTON: Ride the goat! Ride the goat!
84
00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:44,000
I'm going back to bed.
85
00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:55,199
(GROANS)
86
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,239
(WHIMPERS)
87
00:03:57,240 --> 00:04:01,000
My hair is bashing against my skull
when I move.
88
00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:08,319
- (SNIFFS)
- Oh, Mum!
89
00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:10,679
Don't sniff my undies. It's really weird.
90
00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:12,999
What, I've been sniffing
your underwear for 20 years.
91
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,000
(WHINES)
92
00:04:14,001 --> 00:04:16,959
Brett and I would like to take
you out, spend the day together.
93
00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:17,960
OK.
94
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:25,039
Where's Harry?
He was really drunk last night, Mum.
95
00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:26,839
- He's only 27.
- Mm?
96
00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:28,639
That's the age everyone
chokes on their own vomit
97
00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:29,679
like Jimi and Janis.
98
00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:31,159
Oh, my God, no.
99
00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:33,599
Please, please, please don't take Harry.
100
00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:37,200
What about minigolf?
Harry can come if he's not dead.
101
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:42,800
Well, that's the second-worst thing
I've ever seen on a pizza.
102
00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:47,279
Ooh.
103
00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:48,960
(GROANS)
104
00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:52,880
The reception here is terrible.
105
00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:58,959
(GROANS, SNIFFS) Mum's birthday party.
106
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,799
- What?
- Mum's birthday party.
107
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,879
Oh, you made up, then. Good.
108
00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:04,960
DIANA: Easton.
109
00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:09,239
- (HORN HONKS CONTINUOUSLY)
- Ooh!
110
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:11,439
Easton, have you seen Harry?!
111
00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:12,440
Ah.
112
00:05:12,441 --> 00:05:15,399
Oh, thank God. Thank you, sweet baby Jesus.
113
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,519
- Grandma.
- (HORN STOPS)
114
00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:20,399
There we go. There it is. Yep.
115
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:22,519
I brought you something. Come on.
116
00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:24,759
Please be a bacon sandwich.
117
00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:27,159
Wash your face.
118
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:31,119
I know the dishes are a little
out there. Just leave it with me.
119
00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:33,759
- She's coming.
- Harry! I thought you were dead.
120
00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:35,799
- No, no. Calm down.
- Who is it?
121
00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:37,719
Viggo? It's the menu.
122
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:39,479
(WHISPERS) It's fine. It's OK.
123
00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:41,159
I have the right to hear it.
124
00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:43,199
Yeah, I know, I know. I'll tell you.
125
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:45,359
- Now.
- OK.
126
00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:47,440
Viggo, I'm calling you back,
alright? I need to call you back.
127
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:50,680
Harry!
128
00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:54,759
That was a dick move.
129
00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:56,039
- Diana...
- Nup.
130
00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:58,639
A donation from
the Uraidla Producers' Group.
131
00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:00,920
We saw your impassioned speech.
132
00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:03,519
Right.
133
00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:06,399
So, you are the Waste Whistleblower now.
134
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:09,040
I like it. It's very sexy.
135
00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:12,559
What?
136
00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:15,201
Oh, don't tell me the only thing
you're blowing is hot air.
137
00:06:15,463 --> 00:06:16,919
- No.
- Good.
138
00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:21,679
Then I gift you imperfect produce
that supermarkets will not take.
139
00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:23,239
What do you want me to do with it?
140
00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:25,919
Well, I'm looking at opening
some new revenue streams,
141
00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:28,599
and I thought you might be able to
make me something that I could sell
142
00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:30,719
through my new cellar door experience.
143
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:33,079
Oh, and special boudoir access
144
00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:35,599
if you can come up with anything to do with
145
00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:38,359
40 barrels of smoke-tainted wine.
146
00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:40,879
You didn't bring that here as well, did you?
147
00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:43,519
No. I just thought you might have
a brilliant idea.
148
00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,279
You know, help a damsel in distress.
149
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:47,240
Isn't that what you men live for?
150
00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:51,479
Oh, I really think we should
work on this name.
151
00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:54,760
You know, Whistleblower,
it's a bit of an overreach.
152
00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:58,760
- Dr Dumpster?
- No.
153
00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:02,440
- Bin Busters?
- No.
154
00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:05,399
- Wasted West?
- No.
155
00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:07,400
Though I don't disagree with the sentiment.
156
00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:15,519
(SIGHS) Alright, where do
you want this baby?
157
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,120
Oh, there's just fine.
158
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:20,759
- Are you sure about that?
- Yep.
159
00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:22,040
Okey-do key.
160
00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:27,706
Call me when you got something to show me.
161
00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:32,560
(REVERSING ALARM BEEPS)
162
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:39,239
I need a shower, a coffee and a Chiko Roll.
163
00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:41,279
I don't know what that is,
but can we just talk, please?
164
00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:42,799
Sure. Yeah, let's talk.
165
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:45,039
What were you guys saying about my dishes?
166
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,880
- Just that they need tweaking.
- Oh, my God!
167
00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:52,279
I sexted my jugs to a Nordic food God.
168
00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:54,039
Look, you go have a shower,
169
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:56,399
and I'll get you your chicken roll,
170
00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:58,160
and we can brainstorm how to fix it.
171
00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:01,959
No, I promised Brett and Denise
that I would hang with them today.
172
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,959
- Di!
- It's my last day with them.
173
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:06,959
Fine. I'll think of a solution.
174
00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:08,880
- It'll be OK.
- Thank you.
175
00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:13,120
Mum!
176
00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:16,839
Eat, you mangy animal.
177
00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:18,439
(BLEATS)
178
00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:19,919
Come on, eat!
179
00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:23,239
- What is this?
- Oh, Margot dumped it on me.
180
00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:25,503
I've got a TV show to pitch on Monday,
181
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,799
and I should be generating ideas.
182
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:33,079
How about I'm A Celebrity Chef
GOAT Me Out Of Here? (LAUGHS)
183
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,280
(GOAT BLEATS)
184
00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:37,520
Oh.
185
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,360
Look, come on, give me an idea,
you furry shit.
186
00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:47,359
- What about go-karting?
- Too hot.
187
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,279
- The museum?
- Too bony.
188
00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:50,759
- The beach?
- Sandy.
189
00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:52,639
- Botanic gardens?
- Leafy.
190
00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:55,479
Diana. I honestly just want a schnitzel.
191
00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:57,199
We're trapped.
192
00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:59,079
Oh, wonderful.
193
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,560
Easton!
194
00:09:01,857 --> 00:09:03,185
What?
195
00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:05,359
I didn't put it there.
196
00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:08,399
But I can't help but feel that it is
your fault that it IS here.
197
00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:10,679
(GROANS) Oh, this is ridiculous.
198
00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:12,839
So, what are you going to do
with two tons of veg?
199
00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:15,559
Pickles. Found some old vinegar
Dad had in storage.
200
00:09:15,560 --> 00:09:17,159
Yeah. Pickles are really hot right now.
201
00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:19,759
I lived in Poland. They know how to pickle.
202
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:22,159
Mostly their livers,
but occasionally a vegetable.
203
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:23,319
(LAUGHS)
204
00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:25,399
So, what are we meant to do?
205
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:28,319
Well, stay and help us.
We'll make it a family day.
206
00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:30,479
No, we're taking Diana out.
207
00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:31,999
Not until this is empty, we're not.
208
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,439
Well, what about your schnitzel?
209
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,159
It's alright, I'm getting delivery.
210
00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:37,239
- You guys want one?
- EASTON: Yeah, sure.
211
00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:38,920
I'm getting you one, too, Mum.
212
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,160
We could take a taxi to the zoo.
213
00:09:58,200 --> 00:09:59,999
Diana, give me a hand?
214
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,560
Let's just stay, Mum. I don't mind.
215
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,159
I knew she'd hijack our plans.
216
00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:08,639
She's hijacking more than that.
217
00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:10,959
I'd have a word with this Viggo guy
if I were you.
218
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:12,919
I mean, the Scandis, they're arrogant.
219
00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:15,559
I mean, he'd probably respect
you more if you told him
220
00:10:15,560 --> 00:10:19,079
to stick a well-designed bookcase
up his arse.
221
00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:21,399
Oh, Grandma, firstly, I don't
think you can say that anymore
222
00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:22,439
because it's racist.
223
00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:25,519
And secondly, Harry would kill me
if I did that.
224
00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:29,359
If Harry's not gonna stick up
for you, you have to go direct.
225
00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:31,719
Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.
226
00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:34,280
(LAUGHS MOCKINGLY)
227
00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:39,199
If you want us to make up,
tell her to ask me,
228
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:42,279
nay, beg forgiveness.
229
00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:45,399
No. But I will try and set up
a conversation between you.
230
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:47,439
Dude, you're here to drool over her...
231
00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:50,199
- Oh.
- ..so don't use me as your excuse.
232
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:52,960
- And hurry up, I need to pee.
- Are you serious?
233
00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:56,719
No, sorry. Can I just finish? Thank you.
234
00:10:56,720 --> 00:11:00,039
Those desserts are a representation
of who I am, Viggo,
235
00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:02,839
and if you're not going to allow me
to express myself,
236
00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:05,359
then you can shove those desserts
right up your clacker.
237
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:08,599
And clacker, FYI, is Australian for arse.
238
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,199
- VIGGO: How dare you...
- (DISCONNECTS CALL)
239
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:12,999
Ha! Sorry. Just, like, work things.
240
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,360
You know, sometimes you've gotta
crack a few skulls.
241
00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:18,119
What are you guys doing here?
242
00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:21,239
Uh, well, Margot's told the whole
town about the waste project,
243
00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:22,839
so we've brought some stuff to donate.
244
00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:23,840
Oh.
245
00:11:23,841 --> 00:11:26,400
And we wanted to see you before you go.
246
00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:30,479
Why is Nayani looking like
a getaway driver in a bank heist?
247
00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:33,440
Well, I was hoping you two would talk.
248
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:37,959
Wants me to grovel, doesn't she?
249
00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:39,160
No.
250
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:54,999
Hey, Denise, I have an idea.
251
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,519
Whoa, before you start,
what are we putting them in?
252
00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:58,679
- What?
- The pickles.
253
00:11:58,680 --> 00:12:00,159
- Jars.
- But he hasn't got any.
254
00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:01,199
Well, I don't know.
255
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:04,199
Every jar this family ever used,
Jim put into the tool shed.
256
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:06,319
Great. Mum, take Brett, go get the jars.
257
00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:09,679
- What? The...
- Let's go, handsome. (LAUGHS)
258
00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:12,319
OK, TV pitch.
259
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:14,959
I take people who have absolutely
no idea how to cook,
260
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:17,719
you know, the kind that ask how long
two-minute noodles take to boil...
261
00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:19,239
no idea whatsoever...
262
00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:22,119
and I transform them into capable chefs
263
00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:23,999
who can take on a shift
at a real restaurant.
264
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:27,079
I call it Restaurant Rejects,
265
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:30,880
and when we shoot the pilot,
you're my first guest.
266
00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:38,840
No? OK.
267
00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:41,680
Brett.
268
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:47,999
I've been meaning to do a clear-up
in here for forever.
269
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,119
But Denise is sentimental about Jim's stuff.
270
00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:51,999
Oh, ridiculous.
271
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,879
When we moved in, we slept
on piles of old newspapers.
272
00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:58,359
Found an old one about
a Tasmanian tiger biting a kid.
273
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:01,159
I almost became part of
Jim West's collection.
274
00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:02,679
(LAUGHS)
275
00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:04,199
And, as owner of this shit,
276
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:08,039
I give you permission
to get rid of his crap.
277
00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:10,159
- Mm.
- Oh, God!
278
00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:12,359
Oh, my knee's locked up.
279
00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:14,999
Oh, help me, Brett. Help me.
280
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,239
Here, come here. Come here. Help me. Ooh.
281
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:20,359
Oh. (MUTTERS)
282
00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:24,839
Ben's basically given me free rein
to use the menu to experiment.
283
00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:26,079
Yeah, it's exciting,
284
00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:28,799
having people try things
straightaway and feedback.
285
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:30,319
I'm very lucky.
286
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,239
Well, that's not luck, though, is it?
287
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:35,039
You've earned it. You're amazing.
288
00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:38,400
I mean, Harry wouldn't shut up about
how good your carp diem dish was.
289
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:41,479
And how are you?
290
00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:44,399
I don't know. Sometimes, like,
I feel like a fish, you know?
291
00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:47,119
Sort of, like, constantly swimming upstream
292
00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:48,759
through this river of treacle
293
00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:50,559
with, like, a really bad hangover,
294
00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:54,519
kind of not really knowing what sort
of fish I even am anymore.
295
00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:57,319
Well, I know what kind of fish you are.
296
00:13:57,320 --> 00:14:00,679
You're a strong, talented fish
who follows her gut no matter what.
297
00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:02,600
That's why we all love you.
298
00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:06,160
- I'm not saying that I love you.
- Mm-hm.
299
00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:10,280
Well, I do like...
300
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,200
...friends love.
301
00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:18,879
Look, I've always thought
that you and your food
302
00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:20,159
are like an emulsion,
303
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:23,439
so if this Viggo guy doesn't get your food,
304
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:24,880
he really doesn't get you.
305
00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:36,919
Oh, my God.
I don't know why I just did that.
306
00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:39,399
- It's fine.
- No, it's not. It's really bad.
307
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,359
It's just that you were saying,
like, all the right things,
308
00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:42,759
like 'emulsion', and I just...
309
00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:44,519
Hey, I think I should go.
310
00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:47,079
Um, you and Nayani should try and talk.
311
00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:49,599
- No, you don't have to leave.
- We'll catch up next time you visit.
312
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:51,199
- OK?
- Hey, no, Kwams...
313
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:52,200
Yeah.
314
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,439
(GROANS)
315
00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:57,039
(RINGING TONE)
316
00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:59,119
Hurry up, Kwame. I'm busting.
317
00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:01,039
- KWAME: Hi.
- What the hell are you doing?
318
00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:03,279
Things got weird, OK?
Sorry, I'm walking home.
319
00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:04,280
What the fuck?
320
00:15:04,281 --> 00:15:07,399
You should stay and try and talk to
Di, though. She really needs you.
321
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:09,120
She needs a lobotomy.
322
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:13,400
What did she do to you?
323
00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:17,120
Is that it?
324
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,599
Is that all you've done?
325
00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:21,879
What...
326
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:23,360
I have to do everything myself.
327
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:30,199
Where have you been?
328
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:31,799
We're meant to be spending time together.
329
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:34,559
Oh, sorry. I was just...
I was helping Kwame.
330
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:37,319
He just donated all this fresh
produce, so I was just...
331
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:39,439
Here, take a peeler
and come and sit next to me.
332
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:42,080
- We'll work together.
- OK.
333
00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:49,159
(JUNE MOANS)
334
00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:50,879
June's gammy leg's playing up.
335
00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:52,919
Oh, no, Grandma! Are you OK?
336
00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:56,399
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
It just happens sometimes.
337
00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:57,519
Stupid knee.
338
00:15:57,520 --> 00:16:00,919
Oh, we found some jars.
They'll need sterilising, though.
339
00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:02,519
EASTON: Oh, well, you can
boil them in that bin.
340
00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:04,119
Oh, Diana, we can do it.
341
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:05,679
- Yeah.
- No, take Brett.
342
00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:08,839
He, um... he can carry you
and massage your leg as well.
343
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:10,639
- Will I?
- Yes.
344
00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:14,439
Yeah, good idea. Brett, you take Mum
and the bin down to the fire pit...
345
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:15,719
get sterilising.
346
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:17,160
(STAMMERS)
347
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:20,999
- Oh, come on, June.
- Diana.
348
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,679
- Are you right?
- Diana!
349
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:24,560
Yeah. Yeah.
350
00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:27,800
(WASHING MACHINE WHIRRS)
351
00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:30,520
Full automation.
352
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:35,000
Full... automation.
353
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:39,520
Full automation.
354
00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:43,799
What did he just...
355
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:45,880
- I don't know.
- I choose not to listen.
356
00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:59,439
Hey, I've got some movement back.
357
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:01,719
You got magic hands, Brett.
358
00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:03,039
Huh. Yeah.
359
00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:06,799
You know, it was great getting
to know Diana a bit more last night.
360
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:09,399
She's a lot like me, you know?
361
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:11,600
- Is she?
- Oh, yeah, she's got my spirit.
362
00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:16,519
Hey.
363
00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:18,560
That boy's in for a bit of a shock.
364
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:22,559
What are we gonna do about
the London situation?
365
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:23,759
Situation?
366
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:27,399
Yeah, you know, Diana being unhappy,
no friends.
367
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:29,639
- You know, the rain.
- She told you that?
368
00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:31,519
Last night. Didn't she tell you?
369
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:32,799
No.
370
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,199
Oh, no, no, it's OK.
371
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:37,079
I advised her, you know,
put number one first.
372
00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:41,159
That's terrible advice. She's
got her career, she's got Harry.
373
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:44,279
No. I told her, if you want an omelette,
374
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:45,559
you've got to crack an egg.
375
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:47,599
- La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...
- What she needs to do...
376
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,599
Denise?! La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...
377
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:51,360
- Brett! What she... Brett...
- Denise!
378
00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:55,599
(URINE SPLATTERS)
379
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:57,199
HARRY: Diana, I can't believe
you called Viggo.
380
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:58,759
I can't believe WHAT you called Viggo.
381
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:01,079
- I'm sorry.
- He's a name chef.
382
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:05,519
Harry, you hired me first,
and you hired me to be me.
383
00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:09,040
Yes, but hiring you was a risk,
and risks come with terms.
384
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:14,479
What terms?
385
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:18,359
I just need you to put the restaurant
first, not your ego, Diana.
386
00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:19,679
Jesus Christ, Harry.
387
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:22,720
At the moment, the menu could be seen
as a little parochial for London.
388
00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:25,360
Parochial?
389
00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:30,039
It's business. Don't make it personal.
390
00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:32,559
(PHONE VIBRATES)
391
00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:34,080
Wow.
392
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:39,079
- It's Viggo. I have to take it.
- No, you don't.
393
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:40,879
I...
394
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:42,040
Di...
395
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,120
(SIGHS)
396
00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:04,079
Why would she tell you all this and not me?
397
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:06,039
I'm... I'm her mother.
398
00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:07,879
Who tells their mother anything?
399
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,959
Well, I would have liked the option.
400
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:12,919
All I said was, come home,
we'll look after you.
401
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:14,639
Oh, we will, will we?
402
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:16,159
Well, it takes a village to...
403
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:17,160
(SIGHS)
404
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,319
You can steal our house, steal our bed,
405
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:23,799
but you sure as hell will not
be stealing our daughter.
406
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:26,799
And if you had one iota of humanity left,
407
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:29,920
you'd bugger off back to whatever
wretched hole you crawled out of.
408
00:19:30,907 --> 00:19:33,079
I have spent my entire life
409
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:35,439
wondering what it would be like
to see you again.
410
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:39,240
And somehow it's even more
disappointing than I imagined.
411
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,520
- Well, if that's how you feel...
- Yes.
412
00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:45,520
That's how we all feel.
413
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:51,640
I'm sorry.
414
00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:58,280
(WASHING MACHINE RUMBLES)
415
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:42,840
(SCREAMS)
416
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:45,760
That was weird.
417
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:48,800
I heard what you did to Kwams.
418
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:51,519
That was an accident.
419
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:53,159
If you want an outsider's perspective...
420
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:54,279
I don't, really.
421
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:56,959
...London seems to have made you
into, like, a bit of a douche.
422
00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:58,280
Just saying.
423
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:01,600
See ya.
424
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:07,959
You're right. I AM a huge douche.
425
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:10,639
Yeah, you ran away and
didn't talk to me for a year.
426
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:12,559
I know.
427
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:15,399
Can I just monologue for a bit? Do you mind?
428
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,879
- OK.
- OK.
429
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:21,719
Kissing Kwame literally felt like
I was kicking a puppy with my mouth.
430
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:23,959
I just deliberately sent off
this menu with titties
431
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:25,999
and some bacon to this Nordic idiot
that I knew...
432
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:27,999
...I knew he wouldn't like it,
but I did it anyway, right?
433
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:31,240
And then I abused him for proving me right.
434
00:21:31,935 --> 00:21:35,519
But none of that even comes close
435
00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:38,920
to as bad as how I've treated you.
436
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,399
God, I've just, like, had this, like...
437
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,839
...this pain in my chestal area
for, like, a whole, entire year
438
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,919
because I didn't know how
to say sorry to you,
439
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:49,560
even though I am really sorry.
440
00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:52,839
I just had my head so far out my own arse,
441
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:54,480
it's, like, not even funny.
442
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,239
I had that chest thing too.
443
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:03,759
I genuinely thought it was
a heart condition,
444
00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:06,479
so my dad made me go to
his cardiologist friend
445
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:08,199
and I had to do this stress test thing
446
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:09,799
and it turns out I'm just unfit.
447
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:13,479
But my dad actually cried
with relief on the way home.
448
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:18,599
But when I told him that
I thought that the pain
449
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:23,760
could be from anxiety I'd manifested
after breaking up with you...
450
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:28,039
...he kicked me out of the car
and made me walk home, so...
451
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:30,120
(LAUGHS)
452
00:22:30,877 --> 00:22:33,319
I'm sorry. Sorry. No, I'm sorry.
453
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:35,839
I am sorry.
454
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:38,119
I heard your conversation with Harry.
455
00:22:38,120 --> 00:22:40,039
- I was peeing in a bush.
- You were peeing...
456
00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:42,119
Look, you can't compromise your food, Di,
457
00:22:42,120 --> 00:22:43,959
or this limp-dick chef will win, OK?
458
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:45,839
Zero dick policy.
459
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:49,760
The day of the dick is done. Capisce?
460
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:54,999
OK.
461
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,240
OK.
462
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:01,879
- Love you.
- Love you, too.
463
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:05,240
(BOTH MUTTER AND LAUGH)
464
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:34,520
HARRY: Viggo, I'll call you back.
I'll call you back.
465
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:39,640
I think I bought us more time.
466
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:51,319
These dishes look great.
467
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:53,119
Yeah, I think Viggo will really get them,
468
00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:55,080
and they make much more sense for London.
469
00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:57,640
Harry...
470
00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:02,920
...I don't think I make sense for London.
471
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:05,720
What do you mean?
472
00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:10,400
I'm so sorry.
473
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:19,759
And what goes well with pickles?
474
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:21,319
I mean, cheese? Shit.
475
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:22,440
Pickles.
476
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:28,000
My own "made with waste produce" pickles.
477
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:37,679
Oh, that's really good.
478
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:40,879
Yeah, well, try it with my sourdough
made with leftover pickling brine.
479
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:44,240
And my new IPA also has a splash of it.
480
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:53,320
What?
481
00:24:53,321 --> 00:24:55,839
We could use some of my spoilt wine
for pickling vinegar.
482
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:59,079
Yeah, and the rest to make
small-batch smoky gin.
483
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:00,799
Now, that's actually...
484
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:02,479
- Genius?
- ..quite clever.
485
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:04,199
Thank you.
486
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:06,079
I didn't tell you this morning,
487
00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:08,319
I've been asked to pitch a TV idea,
488
00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:11,280
and I couldn't think of anything
until today.
489
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:17,320
- You see where this is going?
- You've finally washed your socks?
490
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:22,000
Automated vegetable peeler.
My own invention.
491
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:27,119
The TV concept is me at home
492
00:25:27,120 --> 00:25:30,639
teaching people how to grow and
cook veg, bake bread, brew beer,
493
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:33,120
up cycle, live life waste-free.
494
00:25:34,360 --> 00:25:37,800
The title of the show is the Waste Warrior.
495
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:41,520
And I am the Waste Warrior.
496
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:46,479
Catchy title. I like the concept.
497
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:48,600
I just don't know why you'd
want to be on television.
498
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:51,079
Well, that's the whole point.
499
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:54,880
The producers pay me to live here
and do what I'm already doing.
500
00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:59,799
We can use the show
to advertise our pickles,
501
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:03,079
our gin, and anything else we invent.
502
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:04,879
Fame has its upside.
503
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:06,559
(WASHING MACHINE STARTS)
504
00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:08,199
Ooh!
505
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,280
- Very clever.
- I know.
506
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:23,199
(WHIMPERS)
507
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:24,200
- HARRY: Bye.
- Bye.
508
00:26:30,360 --> 00:26:34,080
See? I told you.
No need to shoot the messenger.
509
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:43,079
Oh, love. It's all for the best.
510
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:44,520
(SOBS) Mum.
511
00:26:58,173 --> 00:27:00,439
I'm sorry I'm a dick.
512
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:02,919
- You're not a dick.
- Yes, I am.
513
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:05,159
- (SOBS)
- BRETT: You're my dicks.
514
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:07,440
(WASHING MACHINE RUMBLES)
515
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,240
Did someone leave the washing machine on?
516
00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:15,560
So, where's Grandma June's van gone?
517
00:27:18,360 --> 00:27:20,239
DIANA: I want to do something great
with my career
518
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:21,599
and meaningful with my life.
519
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:24,279
You could just go back to work with Easton.
520
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:25,800
(BOTH LAUGH)
521
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:30,440
I'm Easton West...
522
00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:32,960
...Waste Warrior.
523
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:37,159
BRETT: Maybe we should just
all try and get along.
524
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:40,120
Good one. (LAUGHS)
525
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:47,279
Mum!
526
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:49,160
- Oh, you have family.
- Oh, Grandma.
527
00:27:49,210 --> 00:27:53,760
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