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New York City, the world capital
of culture and industry.
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00:00:23,737 --> 00:00:25,740
Here, among the towering skyscrapers,
3
00:00:26,240 --> 00:00:30,745
civilization is guided by men of progress
and the wonders of technology.
4
00:00:30,745 --> 00:00:34,749
But for all this industrial advancement,
there is a price to pay.
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00:00:34,749 --> 00:00:39,254
Pollution. The unavoidable
byproduct of today's society.
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00:00:42,257 --> 00:00:45,761
Every year, millions of
gallons of poisonous wastes,
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garbage, and radioactive chemicals
are disposed of in nearby towns
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such as Tromaville, the toxic waste
dumping capital of the world.
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00:00:54,771 --> 00:00:57,475
Our story takes place at the Tromaville
Health Club
10
00:00:57,475 --> 00:00:59,977
Where a young man named Melvin Furd works.
11
00:01:00,277 --> 00:01:02,780
Melvin's entire life, in fact
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00:01:02,780 --> 00:01:07,284
entire being was
changed by toxic chemical waste.
13
00:02:29,375 --> 00:02:31,877
Would you take a look at
that fucking guy?
14
00:02:32,378 --> 00:02:35,882
Dumb mop boy can't even mop right.
15
00:02:37,384 --> 00:02:38,885
He's so stupid!
16
00:02:38,885 --> 00:02:41,888
He's always got that
shit-eating grin on his face.
17
00:02:42,389 --> 00:02:43,890
What's he so happy about?
18
00:02:45,393 --> 00:02:46,394
I hate that mop boy.
19
00:02:48,396 --> 00:02:51,899
I think that creep is coming over here.
20
00:02:54,902 --> 00:02:58,907
Julie, you smell something?
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Ew! P-U! What's that stink?
22
00:03:06,415 --> 00:03:10,420
Gee, that's funny. I don't smell nothing.
23
00:03:12,922 --> 00:03:15,425
Melvin, clean up the toilet, it stinks over here!
24
00:03:15,425 --> 00:03:18,930
OK. I'll be right there!
25
00:03:22,934 --> 00:03:24,936
Look what you did,
you fucking asshole!
26
00:03:24,936 --> 00:03:26,938
Yeah, you fucking asshole!
27
00:03:26,938 --> 00:03:29,441
- Hey, what are you, retarded?
- Huh? retarded?
28
00:03:29,441 --> 00:03:29,942
I'm sorry!
29
00:03:30,442 --> 00:03:31,944
Sorry, huh?
30
00:03:31,944 --> 00:03:32,945
You want me to go and
get a fucking disease!
31
00:03:33,445 --> 00:03:35,447
Yeah, you want her to go and
get a fucking disease?
32
00:03:35,948 --> 00:03:36,949
I didn't mean it!
33
00:03:36,949 --> 00:03:37,449
Aw, I didn't mean it.
34
00:03:39,452 --> 00:03:44,457
Next time you fuck with me, I'm gonna
take this mop and shove it down your throat.
35
00:03:46,459 --> 00:03:47,961
He is stressing me, Julie!
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00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:49,462
He is stressing me!
37
00:03:49,462 --> 00:03:50,464
Oh, Bozo...
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00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:54,468
I can't take it. I cannot take it Julie.
He is screwing up my karma!
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00:03:57,471 --> 00:04:00,474
See what you did, you idiot?
See what you did!?
40
00:04:00,474 --> 00:04:02,978
You've stressed Bozo!
41
00:04:02,978 --> 00:04:06,982
I'm sorry, Julie. I didn't mean to do it.
He was sitting there and I--
42
00:04:06,982 --> 00:04:10,585
Ah! How dare you talk to me, you twerp!
43
00:04:25,502 --> 00:04:28,005
Keep it up, Bozo.
Keep it up.
44
00:04:28,705 --> 00:04:30,107
But remember,
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00:04:30,507 --> 00:04:33,011
there is only one muscle
you gotta worry about.
46
00:04:35,513 --> 00:04:40,018
Hey, you know. I think you ought to
work a little bit on your gut.
47
00:04:40,018 --> 00:04:42,020
You're getting a little bit
flabby there.
48
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:44,523
Where!? What are you talking about?
49
00:04:44,523 --> 00:04:47,526
I don't got no fat!
There's no fat here. I don't got no f--
50
00:04:48,527 --> 00:04:51,030
Fat! Fat!
51
00:05:07,048 --> 00:05:09,550
Slug, are you sure
no one will come in?
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00:05:09,550 --> 00:05:11,552
I paid Tony 15 bucks.
53
00:05:11,552 --> 00:05:15,056
He said the place is ours
until tomorrow morning.
54
00:05:16,559 --> 00:05:19,562
Relax. You want a drink?
55
00:05:19,562 --> 00:05:21,363
- Yeah.
- Alright.
56
00:05:27,771 --> 00:05:32,075
Slug, can I come again next time
you and Bozo go driving?
57
00:05:32,075 --> 00:05:34,978
If you want to, bad enough.
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00:05:34,978 --> 00:05:37,581
I love it when we go real fast.
59
00:05:37,581 --> 00:05:39,083
And they never know what hit 'em.
60
00:05:39,083 --> 00:05:42,186
They never believe we're
going to run 'em down.
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We keep getting closer and closer.
62
00:05:45,189 --> 00:05:47,491
And faster and faster.
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They're just standing there and yeah.
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00:05:49,795 --> 00:05:50,996
We hit them!
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00:05:50,996 --> 00:05:52,998
I love the sound of breaking bones!
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00:05:52,998 --> 00:05:56,101
The car driving over them,
dragging their bodies.
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00:05:56,101 --> 00:05:58,604
All that beautiful blood!
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00:05:58,604 --> 00:06:00,607
Slug!
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00:06:00,607 --> 00:06:02,609
I want you, now.
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00:07:08,994 --> 00:07:11,490
Give it to me! Give it to me!
More! More!
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00:07:24,266 --> 00:07:26,461
Get out of here, you pervert!
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00:07:27,460 --> 00:07:29,456
Or I'll kill ya!
73
00:07:43,729 --> 00:07:46,723
Julie. Julie, the points.
The rules, what are they?
74
00:07:46,723 --> 00:07:49,218
Let me see if I can
remember the whole list.
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00:07:49,218 --> 00:07:55,208
Now, jews, whops, niggers and chinks,
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00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:57,703
they're all worth twenty-five points.
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But Puerto Ricans, they're
worth thirty points.
78
00:08:01,196 --> 00:08:05,687
Now kids under twelve
they're worth double points.
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00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:07,884
Skippy, don't forget your helmet.
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00:08:07,884 --> 00:08:09,880
OK, sis.
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00:08:11,178 --> 00:08:14,172
And be careful out there.
82
00:08:16,168 --> 00:08:20,160
Julie, does it count if
I graze them?
83
00:08:21,358 --> 00:08:27,845
You got to destroy them!
Bozo, I want them dead.
84
00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:32,836
Now we're gonna get 'em.
85
00:08:32,836 --> 00:08:37,328
Come on. Come on! Come on!
Where the fuck is everybody?
Where the fuck is everybody?
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00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:46,811
How much is a kid on a bicycle?
87
00:08:46,811 --> 00:08:47,529
Where?
88
00:08:49,106 --> 00:08:52,598
Twenty-eight points if you
get both the kid and the bike?
89
00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:55,494
Let's take a closer look.
90
00:08:58,588 --> 00:09:01,083
Oh, he a cute little boy, isn't he?
91
00:09:01,083 --> 00:09:04,576
Out pretty late, aren't you, honey?
92
00:09:08,070 --> 00:09:09,566
The coast is clear, Bozo.
93
00:09:09,566 --> 00:09:11,065
We got him!
94
00:09:19,049 --> 00:09:21,045
We're gonna kill him!
We're gonna get him!
95
00:09:42,705 --> 00:09:44,701
Now you get full points!
96
00:09:44,701 --> 00:09:48,193
No way! The kid's still moving!
97
00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:52,486
We're not finished yet!
98
00:09:52,986 --> 00:09:55,481
He's still moving, no way
you get full points.
99
00:09:55,481 --> 00:09:58,974
No way, huh? No way?
I'll fucking show you no way.
100
00:10:13,945 --> 00:10:15,942
Give me that!
Gibe me that!
101
00:10:20,931 --> 00:10:22,928
Full points, my man!
102
00:10:22,928 --> 00:10:26,421
Look at him!
Wow, oh my God!
103
00:10:33,708 --> 00:10:37,202
These are gonna be the best shots
we've ever taken.
104
00:10:37,700 --> 00:10:39,196
Yeah, this is fun!
105
00:10:40,695 --> 00:10:42,691
These are great!
106
00:10:43,189 --> 00:10:46,185
Show me your pretty pictures!
107
00:10:51,174 --> 00:10:53,669
That was good!
That was good!
108
00:10:55,667 --> 00:10:58,162
I want to do it again!
I want to do it again!
109
00:10:58,661 --> 00:11:01,655
- Yeah, let's do it again!
- Yeah, let's go for it again!
110
00:11:02,155 --> 00:11:05,148
No, no I can't.
I've got to go home.
111
00:11:05,148 --> 00:11:06,146
What?
112
00:11:06,146 --> 00:11:08,641
Well, I got to get up early
in the morning.
113
00:11:08,942 --> 00:11:10,439
Got to go to church.
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00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:11,985
Oh!
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00:11:32,198 --> 00:11:34,698
And up! Up! Up! Up!
116
00:11:34,724 --> 00:11:37,722
Now kick! Out! Out! Out!
117
00:11:37,748 --> 00:11:40,147
Now arms up! Stop. Stop.
118
00:11:40,347 --> 00:11:43,846
That's really pitiful.
Just stop. Just stop a second.
119
00:11:43,846 --> 00:11:45,845
Look how many times do
I have to tell you people?
120
00:11:45,845 --> 00:11:48,344
Do exactly what I do.
121
00:11:48,844 --> 00:11:51,643
If I kick my right foot,
you kick your right foot.
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00:11:51,643 --> 00:11:54,442
If I kick my left foot,
you kick your left foot.
123
00:11:54,442 --> 00:11:57,540
Okay? Whatever I do,
you do exactly the same thing.
124
00:11:57,540 --> 00:12:01,538
Okay? Now how about we start again?
You're gonna do exactly what I'm doing.
125
00:12:01,639 --> 00:12:03,789
Okay guys, you know
what I'm talking about?
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00:12:03,789 --> 00:12:08,037
Let's go, let's do it this time.
Okay! Let's get the music! 5, 6, 7, and hey, hey...
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00:12:30,129 --> 00:12:33,726
Watch what I'm doing here.
Watch how I hit this ball.
128
00:12:33,726 --> 00:12:35,725
Are you watching me!?
Are you watching me!?
129
00:12:35,750 --> 00:12:38,250
I'm going to kill it! I'm going to kill it!
I'm going to kill it!
130
00:12:38,525 --> 00:12:43,023
Aah!
I'm gonna kick that freak's mouth in!
131
00:12:44,322 --> 00:12:48,621
Bozo, it's okay. It's okay.
Hey, guys, come here.
132
00:12:48,621 --> 00:12:52,120
Have I got a plan to fix
that mop boys wagon.
133
00:12:52,474 --> 00:12:53,669
Great!
What is it?
134
00:12:54,660 --> 00:12:55,661
Well...
135
00:13:00,564 --> 00:13:01,506
Hi, Melvin.
136
00:13:01,522 --> 00:13:03,115
Whoa!
137
00:13:03,615 --> 00:13:07,038
Melvin. Melvin, it's okay.
It's okay.
138
00:13:07,078 --> 00:13:13,113
Hey, I just came to apologize.
Yes, I didn't mean to be so nasty yesterday.
139
00:13:13,612 --> 00:13:16,110
Oh, that's okay, Julie. I didn't really mind.
140
00:13:16,110 --> 00:13:18,610
In fact, I was hoping
you could help me,
141
00:13:18,610 --> 00:13:20,610
with a little problem.
I've been having.
142
00:13:20,834 --> 00:13:23,107
- Who, me?
- Yes but...
143
00:13:23,107 --> 00:13:26,107
I can't talk about here
with all these people around.
144
00:13:26,614 --> 00:13:29,041
Hey, I got a great idea.
145
00:13:29,378 --> 00:13:31,106
Why don't you meet me
in the girls locker room?
146
00:13:31,915 --> 00:13:33,674
Girls' locker room?
147
00:13:33,736 --> 00:13:37,602
Yes.
Then we can discuss it alone.
148
00:13:38,094 --> 00:13:40,335
Oh, oh!
149
00:13:42,851 --> 00:13:44,333
Okay.
150
00:13:44,373 --> 00:13:46,379
Great! Let's say 7 o'clock.
151
00:13:46,598 --> 00:13:49,531
Okay. That'll be good for me, too,
'cause I gotta to clean the toilets
152
00:13:49,546 --> 00:13:52,096
in there around that time anyway.
153
00:13:52,742 --> 00:13:54,597
Good. It's a date. See you then.
154
00:13:54,597 --> 00:13:56,596
Okay.
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00:13:59,594 --> 00:14:06,581
490... 491... 492...
156
00:14:08,482 --> 00:14:16,517
493... 494... 495...
157
00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:21,299
Hi, guys. Well, Melvin fell
for it. Hook line and sinker.
158
00:14:21,312 --> 00:14:21,986
Great!
159
00:14:29,083 --> 00:14:31,582
We've been driving for
two whole hours.
160
00:14:31,582 --> 00:14:34,185
Let's pull this rig over
and take a break.
161
00:14:34,202 --> 00:14:35,592
Hey, the boss'll have our asses.
162
00:14:35,609 --> 00:14:37,817
You know he don't want us
to stop in habitated areas
163
00:14:37,833 --> 00:14:40,578
with this radioactive chemical
waste we got on the back.
164
00:14:40,578 --> 00:14:44,274
It's dangerous.
It's like that cancerogenic stuff, you know.
165
00:14:44,305 --> 00:14:48,431
Hey Joey, you remember that dope
we were snorting last week?
166
00:14:48,462 --> 00:14:52,726
-Do I?
- Well, buddy boy. Check this out.
167
00:14:52,819 --> 00:14:54,572
Holy shit! Why didn't you say so.
168
00:14:54,572 --> 00:14:56,572
Let's pull it over!
169
00:15:06,092 --> 00:15:06,990
Julie.
170
00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:10,969
- Hi, Melvin.
- Hi, Julie.
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00:15:10,987 --> 00:15:13,006
Come in, don't be shy.
172
00:15:14,565 --> 00:15:17,565
So, what was it that
you wanted me to help you with?
173
00:15:17,943 --> 00:15:20,063
- Well, it's about Bozo.
- Bozo?
174
00:15:20,063 --> 00:15:22,063
Yeah, you see, I'm so sick
of the way he goes around
175
00:15:22,063 --> 00:15:24,562
pushing people around all the time.
176
00:15:24,562 --> 00:15:26,561
He's so immature.
177
00:15:26,561 --> 00:15:30,061
In fact, I don't like to go out
with him anymore.
178
00:15:30,559 --> 00:15:33,559
But I don't know quite
how to tell him.
179
00:15:34,060 --> 00:15:38,556
In fact, Melvin, I think
you're handsome,
180
00:15:38,556 --> 00:15:48,707
and sensitive and kind.
Oh, Melvin, I find you irresistible.
181
00:15:48,825 --> 00:15:50,053
- Me?
- Yes.
182
00:15:50,773 --> 00:15:53,162
Melvin, I want to do it with you.
183
00:15:53,207 --> 00:15:53,928
Do it?
184
00:15:53,944 --> 00:15:54,835
Do it!
185
00:15:54,862 --> 00:15:55,693
Do what?
186
00:15:55,748 --> 00:15:57,050
Do it, Melvin, do it!
187
00:15:57,050 --> 00:16:00,311
Do it? Okay.
188
00:16:00,671 --> 00:16:03,658
Wait a minute.
Have I got a great idea, Melvin.
189
00:16:03,681 --> 00:16:04,666
What is it?
190
00:16:04,688 --> 00:16:06,047
We'll go down by the pool.
191
00:16:06,414 --> 00:16:08,852
And afterward we can take a cool dip.
192
00:16:09,392 --> 00:16:10,519
Alright.
193
00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:13,785
There's one other little thing, Melvin.
194
00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:16,042
You're not wearing pink.
195
00:16:16,727 --> 00:16:19,541
- Pink?
- It's my favorite color.
196
00:16:20,202 --> 00:16:23,013
I have my pink on.
197
00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:27,538
So, I brought this for you.
198
00:16:27,538 --> 00:16:32,535
- But this is sissy stuff.
- Oh, no, Melvin. Pink makes me so hot.
199
00:16:33,008 --> 00:16:35,036
- It does.
- Yes.
200
00:16:35,568 --> 00:16:39,876
If you put on your pink,
I'll take off my pink.
201
00:16:45,366 --> 00:16:49,530
- I love pink!
- Hurry up, I'll be waiting for you.
202
00:16:51,205 --> 00:16:53,360
- And bring your mop.
- I will!
203
00:17:14,521 --> 00:17:19,518
- Julie?
- Here I am, Melvin.
204
00:17:19,518 --> 00:17:23,212
It's so dark in here,
where are you? I can't see you
205
00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:27,016
I'm right here, Melvin. Come here.
206
00:17:27,734 --> 00:17:30,014
My lips are waiting for you, Melvin.
207
00:17:30,757 --> 00:17:33,244
Whoa, put your arms around me.
208
00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:37,337
Oh, Julie! Julie! Oh, Julie!
I'm here!
209
00:17:37,362 --> 00:17:39,510
Okay! Turn on the light!
210
00:17:42,101 --> 00:17:43,924
You're so soft, Julie.
211
00:17:43,937 --> 00:17:44,936
Baaa.
212
00:17:45,328 --> 00:17:46,328
Ooh!
213
00:19:15,308 --> 00:19:17,582
Ooh, he doesn't
look very good to me.
214
00:19:17,621 --> 00:19:18,860
Aaahh!
215
00:19:21,469 --> 00:19:23,742
He's faking it, Julie!
He's faking it.
216
00:19:27,923 --> 00:19:29,193
I think he's in trouble.
217
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:32,280
Julie, this guy,
if he can't take a joke, he stinks.
218
00:19:35,467 --> 00:19:38,772
Get back! Get back!
Step off! Get back!
219
00:19:38,821 --> 00:19:39,803
Get out of here!
220
00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:41,522
Easy, guy.
221
00:19:58,231 --> 00:20:00,654
Melvin's on fire!
Melvin's on fire!
222
00:20:17,232 --> 00:20:19,971
Melvin, dear, are you alright?
223
00:20:21,831 --> 00:20:23,578
Is anything the matter?
224
00:20:28,946 --> 00:20:32,255
God, my arms!
Ow! Ow!
225
00:20:34,122 --> 00:20:35,342
Oh my feet!
226
00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:41,334
Oh my God!
Ahhhhhh!
227
00:21:14,476 --> 00:21:16,178
Aaahhh!
228
00:21:16,702 --> 00:21:18,321
Are you okay?
229
00:21:33,273 --> 00:21:35,205
Melvin, dear, are you alright?
230
00:22:13,950 --> 00:22:19,950
My little Melvin! He must
have finally reached puberty.
231
00:22:20,793 --> 00:22:22,336
Grrrr!
232
00:22:36,420 --> 00:22:38,593
One. Two.
233
00:22:38,928 --> 00:22:41,849
Three. Four. Five.
234
00:22:41,896 --> 00:22:44,612
When we lay this wad on, old Clancy.
235
00:22:44,644 --> 00:22:47,333
The boss is going to
have him by the balls.
236
00:22:48,816 --> 00:22:51,229
I don't think old Clancy
will take the money.
237
00:22:51,284 --> 00:22:53,939
Everyone says he's an honest cop.
238
00:22:53,986 --> 00:22:58,349
If he don't take the dough,
I'm gonna give him a blow.
239
00:22:58,389 --> 00:22:59,099
Ha ha!
240
00:22:59,123 --> 00:23:01,365
A pair of knuckles.
241
00:23:06,415 --> 00:23:12,043
Well, if it ain't, Cigar Face. What are
you and your friends up to?
242
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:14,833
We brought you a little
present from the boss.
243
00:23:14,989 --> 00:23:15,770
Here.
244
00:23:53,310 --> 00:23:56,515
No way.
You're wasting your time.
245
00:23:56,530 --> 00:23:58,639
No. That's where you're wrong.
246
00:23:59,043 --> 00:24:00,619
You're wasting our time.
247
00:24:02,695 --> 00:24:04,693
Now we're going to waste you!
248
00:24:05,894 --> 00:24:06,894
Ow!
249
00:24:08,776 --> 00:24:13,619
Now you're going to find out
why they call me Cigar Face.
250
00:24:17,065 --> 00:24:20,586
Aaahh!
251
00:24:25,104 --> 00:24:26,327
Get him Nipples, yeah!
252
00:24:35,455 --> 00:24:36,708
Come on, now. Come on!
253
00:24:46,851 --> 00:24:48,516
What the matter, Clancy?
254
00:24:52,230 --> 00:24:53,481
Get him!
255
00:25:04,087 --> 00:25:08,544
Honest cops are all alike!
A bunch of fuckin' fagots!
256
00:25:09,517 --> 00:25:12,697
What do you say, shall
I blow his nose off or what?
257
00:25:12,967 --> 00:25:15,329
Boss says if he doesn't
want to cooperate,
258
00:25:15,498 --> 00:25:18,019
we should make love to him.
259
00:25:18,917 --> 00:25:22,296
Well, whatever the boss says, goes.
260
00:25:23,326 --> 00:25:26,661
No... No, no, please!
Please, oh God, please.
261
00:25:26,708 --> 00:25:30,156
No, no. No, please. Come on.
I've got a family!
262
00:25:30,181 --> 00:25:32,341
Say your prayers, copper!
263
00:25:40,969 --> 00:25:41,985
Holy shit!
264
00:26:06,546 --> 00:26:11,001
Could that be the,
O'Shanahee boy back from school.
265
00:26:12,746 --> 00:26:13,797
No! No!
266
00:26:19,638 --> 00:26:21,136
Grrr!
267
00:26:26,896 --> 00:26:27,918
Ow!
268
00:26:28,653 --> 00:26:32,400
Aaahhh!
269
00:26:44,883 --> 00:26:48,270
Aaaahhhh!
270
00:26:49,472 --> 00:26:52,859
Aaahhh!
271
00:27:46,415 --> 00:27:49,264
I'll get you for this,
you monster faggot!
272
00:27:51,591 --> 00:27:53,940
Grrrr!
273
00:28:03,626 --> 00:28:05,666
Don't worry.
Don't worry, I won't hurt you.
274
00:28:05,846 --> 00:28:07,242
I don't know what came over me.
275
00:28:08,943 --> 00:28:11,440
I just couldn't control myself.
276
00:28:11,463 --> 00:28:13,877
I've never done anything
like this before.
277
00:28:25,186 --> 00:28:25,955
Bye.
278
00:28:27,934 --> 00:28:28,825
Quiet!
279
00:28:29,915 --> 00:28:32,694
Quiet!
280
00:28:33,126 --> 00:28:40,066
Now, you will raise your hand
and you will ask one question at a time.
281
00:28:40,597 --> 00:28:42,094
Exactly where did it happen?
282
00:28:42,295 --> 00:28:44,476
It happened in Shinbone Alley.
283
00:28:44,692 --> 00:28:46,690
These three guys were
going to kill me, see.
284
00:28:46,700 --> 00:28:50,696
And then of nowhere comes
this thing, this monster,
285
00:28:50,741 --> 00:28:52,967
I never seen anything like it before.
286
00:28:53,006 --> 00:28:56,581
Because it took the three guys
and threw them away.
287
00:28:56,674 --> 00:29:00,670
I don't know what it was but,
but God bless him, 'cause he saved my life.
288
00:30:51,817 --> 00:30:53,226
Alright, boys.
289
00:30:53,874 --> 00:30:55,375
Chief, what have you got?
290
00:30:56,578 --> 00:31:00,263
That alleyway was the most
gruesome sight I have ever seen.
291
00:31:00,606 --> 00:31:01,921
Gruesome, huh?
292
00:31:02,882 --> 00:31:04,882
Have you ever met
my mother-in-law?
293
00:31:04,882 --> 00:31:06,883
Now, that's gruesome
294
00:31:06,883 --> 00:31:08,051
What about Cigar Face?
295
00:31:08,064 --> 00:31:09,787
Have we gotten anything
out of him yet?
296
00:31:09,885 --> 00:31:12,890
He must still be in shock.
All he does is sit around
297
00:31:12,890 --> 00:31:16,283
all day babbling about
some seven foot monster.
298
00:31:16,306 --> 00:31:19,394
Yeah, and the only other clue
we've got are those mops,
299
00:31:19,394 --> 00:31:21,396
stuffed in their mouths.
300
00:31:21,396 --> 00:31:25,915
Mops... It must be some sort of political statement.
Do we have any suspects?
301
00:31:25,945 --> 00:31:30,871
Nah, the whole town is suspect.
Knuckles and Nipples were hated by everyone.
302
00:31:30,904 --> 00:31:34,407
Not by me. They were
our two best producers.
303
00:31:34,407 --> 00:31:36,408
Speaking of which, I almost forgot.
304
00:31:36,728 --> 00:31:40,339
The boys made their rounds last
night and here is the collection.
305
00:31:40,369 --> 00:31:42,412
Yeah, and it would've been
double if it wasn't for this
306
00:31:42,427 --> 00:31:45,430
devastating tragic turn of events.
307
00:31:45,656 --> 00:31:46,532
Yeah.
308
00:32:40,147 --> 00:32:41,147
Aah!
309
00:32:44,682 --> 00:32:47,917
Slug, will you stop with that
Elephant Man bullshit.
310
00:32:47,967 --> 00:32:53,602
I am not an animal.
I'm Melvin, the mop boy.
311
00:33:01,977 --> 00:33:04,886
- Who is it?
- It's me, Ma. Melvin.
312
00:33:07,982 --> 00:33:11,889
Aah!
313
00:33:13,985 --> 00:33:16,502
Ma? Ah, Ma!
314
00:34:25,872 --> 00:34:29,653
Tom. Tom, is he dead?
315
00:34:29,976 --> 00:34:31,161
Hey, Tom.
316
00:34:32,549 --> 00:34:36,232
Yeah, over here. Tom,
the zoning board has designated
317
00:34:36,256 --> 00:34:40,221
the old Rawlins Chemical Plant
as the new toxic waste dump site.
318
00:34:41,056 --> 00:34:44,827
Now that's contaminated, but
valuable waterfront property.
319
00:34:49,789 --> 00:34:53,792
We think it's a crime to let that
property go to waste as a dump.
320
00:34:54,019 --> 00:34:57,279
You are aware, of course, that that would
place our new toxic chemical dump
321
00:34:57,294 --> 00:35:00,119
just 20 feet from the
reservoir for the entire area.
322
00:35:06,577 --> 00:35:09,062
Gentlemen, I think we have a deal.
323
00:35:11,094 --> 00:35:14,155
Here to better living through chemistry.
324
00:35:36,717 --> 00:35:40,220
Mr. Fred! Mr. Fred,
what's wrong with this thing!?
325
00:35:55,130 --> 00:35:56,208
Alright, everybody!
326
00:35:56,234 --> 00:35:58,811
Drop your tacos or
I'll blow your brains out!
327
00:36:01,808 --> 00:36:03,695
Rico, get the cash register!
328
00:36:03,738 --> 00:36:05,682
Okay, you got it!
329
00:36:07,252 --> 00:36:08,919
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
330
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:12,282
We are the entertainment
for this afternoon.
331
00:36:12,403 --> 00:36:16,423
Now on shotgun,
we've got my man Leroy.
332
00:36:17,501 --> 00:36:21,528
On cash register
we've got magic fingers, Rico!
333
00:36:21,675 --> 00:36:22,607
That's me.
334
00:36:23,240 --> 00:36:26,946
And last but not least, yours truly Frank.
335
00:36:28,854 --> 00:36:29,909
On the stick.
336
00:36:32,606 --> 00:36:33,529
Shut up!
337
00:36:34,786 --> 00:36:37,099
Now if you all do just
what we tell you,
338
00:36:37,118 --> 00:36:41,335
you just might, just might
get your asses home all intact.
339
00:36:43,036 --> 00:36:47,972
Look who we got here!
A little mother, and a littler baby.
340
00:36:49,291 --> 00:36:51,444
Do you like Mexican food, little baby?
341
00:36:52,279 --> 00:36:54,001
Well, How'd you like to
have this hot tamale
342
00:36:54,032 --> 00:36:55,636
shoved down your throat?
343
00:36:58,252 --> 00:36:59,490
What are you looking at?
344
00:37:02,470 --> 00:37:04,932
Hey, Frank, teeny boppers!
345
00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:07,364
You like video games,
teeny boppers?
346
00:37:07,474 --> 00:37:09,774
Your mom give you
quarters for video games?
347
00:37:10,062 --> 00:37:11,211
Well, cough them up!
348
00:37:12,587 --> 00:37:15,088
Hey, this one's cute, Frank.
349
00:37:15,198 --> 00:37:17,556
Look how cute she is, Frank.
350
00:37:17,576 --> 00:37:19,328
Say, Leroy, I think she likes you.
351
00:37:27,129 --> 00:37:28,916
Hey, why don't you leave her alone?
352
00:37:31,352 --> 00:37:33,264
We'll give you our money,
if you want money.
353
00:37:34,150 --> 00:37:36,441
Hey, look, pal, why don't
you just let everyone go
354
00:37:36,457 --> 00:37:38,458
and keep me as a hostage, huh?
355
00:37:38,499 --> 00:37:38,975
Huh?
356
00:37:39,741 --> 00:37:41,930
That's an idea, ainft it, Frank?
357
00:37:42,501 --> 00:37:43,893
- Yeah.
- No, thanks.
358
00:37:55,745 --> 00:37:58,524
Shut up! It was self defense.
359
00:38:01,620 --> 00:38:05,305
Yo, Leroy, check out
this pretty little thing,
360
00:38:05,887 --> 00:38:07,924
and the bitch got a dog.
361
00:38:09,476 --> 00:38:12,467
Hey, wait a minute.
I think this bitch is blind.
362
00:38:12,665 --> 00:38:14,693
Are you sure she is blind, Frank?
363
00:38:18,187 --> 00:38:20,335
Yeah, the bitch is blind.
364
00:38:20,586 --> 00:38:21,131
Ow!
365
00:38:21,330 --> 00:38:23,581
Hey, what are you doing?
Don't do that!
366
00:38:23,597 --> 00:38:24,417
Let go of me!
367
00:38:26,037 --> 00:38:28,874
Yo, Leroy, you want to
walk this damn dog!
368
00:38:29,812 --> 00:38:30,985
Yeah, sure, Frank.
369
00:38:35,256 --> 00:38:36,108
Gary?
370
00:38:38,288 --> 00:38:40,915
Harry!
What have you done to my dog?
371
00:38:40,938 --> 00:38:42,870
I didn't do anything to the dog,
but listen...
372
00:38:43,387 --> 00:38:44,461
Gary! Gary!
373
00:38:44,484 --> 00:38:45,908
You wanna meet my friend, Ben?
374
00:38:45,916 --> 00:38:48,389
We's make everything alright.
Just let me introduce you to Ben.
375
00:38:48,542 --> 00:38:49,605
Ben who!?
376
00:38:49,619 --> 00:38:51,619
Ben Dover!
377
00:38:54,934 --> 00:38:59,939
Hey, Leroy, you know I always did want
to cornhole me a blind bitch.
378
00:39:00,112 --> 00:39:01,112
Ow!
379
00:39:01,345 --> 00:39:02,694
I'm going to enjoy this!
380
00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:09,261
Yeah, it's going to be nice.
381
00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:12,567
What the shit!?
382
00:39:27,156 --> 00:39:28,886
Okay, you motherfucker!
383
00:39:32,089 --> 00:39:34,771
Aah! Aahh!
384
00:42:31,623 --> 00:42:35,046
No, no, no! We were only kidding!
385
00:42:35,503 --> 00:42:37,978
What's the matter?
You can't take a joke?
386
00:42:38,435 --> 00:42:40,045
We were only kidding.
387
00:42:40,067 --> 00:42:42,343
Please, no!
You can't do this to me!
388
00:42:45,540 --> 00:42:48,461
No! Please! Please, stop it!
389
00:42:48,503 --> 00:42:51,343
Stop, no! No!
390
00:42:51,615 --> 00:42:53,742
No! We were, we were only kidding!
391
00:43:07,957 --> 00:43:10,628
Grrr! Grrrrr!
392
00:43:36,896 --> 00:43:40,358
Please, please don't touch me!
393
00:43:41,290 --> 00:43:42,291
Please!
394
00:43:42,291 --> 00:43:45,293
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, it's alright.
I'm not going to hurt you.
395
00:43:45,604 --> 00:43:46,501
Are you okay?
396
00:43:46,732 --> 00:43:50,234
Yes, I think so. My dog!
397
00:43:50,578 --> 00:43:54,324
Those men killed my dog!
They shot my dog!
398
00:43:54,877 --> 00:43:57,238
Could you take me out of here, please?
399
00:43:59,265 --> 00:44:03,510
Please. I'll never make it
by myself without my dog.
400
00:44:03,532 --> 00:44:04,292
Please.
401
00:44:04,652 --> 00:44:08,811
Okay, alright, but come on,
let's go out the back way.
402
00:44:09,178 --> 00:44:12,508
Hey, don't worry, I won't hurt you.
Come on, I'll help you up.
403
00:44:39,429 --> 00:44:41,918
- Don't trip over the step, Melvin.
- What?
404
00:44:44,341 --> 00:44:45,875
I'd better get my cane.
405
00:44:50,829 --> 00:44:51,932
Why don't you have a seat?
406
00:44:51,963 --> 00:44:53,321
There's a place for you on your left.
407
00:44:53,346 --> 00:44:54,347
Right over there.
408
00:44:54,356 --> 00:44:55,386
Ow!
409
00:44:55,699 --> 00:44:57,200
Would like you like something to eat?
410
00:44:57,352 --> 00:44:58,350
Uh-huh.
411
00:44:58,350 --> 00:45:00,115
Is peanut butter and jelly, okay?
412
00:45:00,148 --> 00:45:00,911
Uh-huh.
413
00:45:01,213 --> 00:45:02,098
Good.
414
00:45:03,356 --> 00:45:04,356
Grr!
415
00:45:04,692 --> 00:45:06,719
Now, boys, what have we got here?
416
00:45:07,664 --> 00:45:10,417
Looks like we got a nice crispy taco
supreme over here, chief.
417
00:45:13,614 --> 00:45:16,491
Looks like I got a a
strawberry thickshake over here.
418
00:45:18,594 --> 00:45:19,596
What have you got?
419
00:45:19,650 --> 00:45:21,833
I've got a pizza with
the works to go, Jimmy.
420
00:45:22,736 --> 00:45:26,740
Chief, it was unbelievable.
It had an eye up over here,
421
00:45:27,124 --> 00:45:29,127
His nose was twisted to the side.
422
00:45:29,406 --> 00:45:30,073
Huh?
423
00:45:30,108 --> 00:45:32,520
It was the strangest thing
I ever saw in my life.
424
00:45:32,534 --> 00:45:36,052
Sure. But it was a pink elephant, too.
425
00:45:36,092 --> 00:45:38,491
I'm telling ya, these guys
were going to kill us.
426
00:45:38,795 --> 00:45:42,307
It saved our lives. It was a hero.
427
00:45:42,324 --> 00:45:43,609
A hero!
428
00:45:45,732 --> 00:45:46,869
This guy is drunk.
429
00:47:39,349 --> 00:47:41,416
Would you mind if
I touched your face?
430
00:47:41,437 --> 00:47:42,013
No!
431
00:47:42,039 --> 00:47:45,948
No? Why not?
I won't hurt you, Melvin.
432
00:47:45,979 --> 00:47:50,473
It's not that. It's just that
I have a rash on my face.
433
00:47:50,482 --> 00:47:52,908
A rash? You mean acne?
434
00:47:52,929 --> 00:47:55,981
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's it.
It's nothing to worry about
435
00:47:55,981 --> 00:47:57,823
but I wouldn't want you to touch it.
436
00:47:57,823 --> 00:48:00,318
You shouldn't be ashamed of acne.
437
00:48:00,318 --> 00:48:03,314
Everybody's had acne at
one time or another.
438
00:48:03,314 --> 00:48:06,704
Hey, I know. Would you
like me to tell your fortune?
439
00:48:06,747 --> 00:48:07,422
Huh?
440
00:48:07,463 --> 00:48:10,034
I read palms. Give me your hand.
441
00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:15,456
What big hands you have.
442
00:48:16,142 --> 00:48:17,998
I bet you're very strong.
443
00:48:18,615 --> 00:48:21,288
Hmm. Let me see.
You're going to have
444
00:48:21,288 --> 00:48:24,784
a lot of good things coming
too you in the future.
445
00:48:24,784 --> 00:48:27,779
You're going to become
a very important man.
446
00:48:28,279 --> 00:48:30,372
Let me see your other hand.
447
00:48:31,273 --> 00:48:34,213
Grr?
Grrrrr!
448
00:48:35,328 --> 00:48:37,833
Oops! Sorry.
449
00:48:45,723 --> 00:48:47,535
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
450
00:48:47,768 --> 00:48:50,924
With us this afternoon is,
Dr. Mertyn Snodberger
451
00:48:51,246 --> 00:48:54,741
from the Garden State State Cerebral
Reflex Research Center.
452
00:48:54,741 --> 00:48:56,909
Ah, can you tell me, sir,
453
00:48:56,925 --> 00:49:00,233
is it true that the monster
only attacks bad people?
454
00:49:00,552 --> 00:49:06,201
Ja. Ja. Since only bad, evil
people have been destroyed
455
00:49:06,225 --> 00:49:11,716
by the monster, I would have
to answer your question. Ja.
456
00:49:12,134 --> 00:49:15,314
From traces that have
been found on the scenes
457
00:49:15,336 --> 00:49:19,704
of the crime, and analyzed,
we have determined
458
00:49:19,704 --> 00:49:23,198
that whatever it is,
this monster has been exposed
459
00:49:23,198 --> 00:49:26,257
to toxic chemical waste.
460
00:49:26,896 --> 00:49:28,363
Achoo!
461
00:49:33,185 --> 00:49:38,178
It is also highly probable
that this monster may
462
00:49:38,178 --> 00:49:42,171
have developed a very
basic instinct which draws him,
463
00:49:42,171 --> 00:49:48,390
or should I say, commands
him to destroy evil.
464
00:50:06,580 --> 00:50:09,368
That new camera really
captures the moment!
465
00:50:09,436 --> 00:50:13,768
I know. The reds are so red!
Really get me hot!
466
00:50:56,623 --> 00:50:57,412
Mr. Mayor?
467
00:50:57,434 --> 00:50:57,975
Yeah?
468
00:50:57,988 --> 00:51:01,986
I got todayfs receipts from
the drug division. Ha ha!
469
00:51:02,445 --> 00:51:04,941
Good boy, Dennis.
Put it over there on the table.
470
00:51:05,090 --> 00:51:06,608
Bookie will get to it later.
471
00:51:29,121 --> 00:51:30,425
Grr!
472
00:51:30,425 --> 00:51:31,283
Aahhh!
473
00:51:52,300 --> 00:51:54,974
Grrr!
474
00:53:35,640 --> 00:53:37,714
Listen, you asshole, how many
times are you going to
475
00:53:37,732 --> 00:53:39,267
pull that Elephant Man joke?
476
00:53:41,860 --> 00:53:43,657
- Grrr!
- Aahhh!
477
00:53:56,129 --> 00:53:58,055
Let this be a lesson to you, hot ass!
478
00:54:06,157 --> 00:54:10,154
This monster may have
developed a very basic instinct,
479
00:54:10,191 --> 00:54:13,154
to destroy evil.
480
00:54:13,737 --> 00:54:15,908
Hey, you! In the alley!
481
00:54:15,921 --> 00:54:21,668
Hey, knucklehead! How about
some nice young poontang, huh?
482
00:54:21,695 --> 00:54:25,556
No! No, take me home!
No, take me home!
483
00:54:25,566 --> 00:54:27,480
No, you lied to me!
484
00:54:27,526 --> 00:54:30,575
You said you were going to take
me to see the David Bowie concert!
485
00:54:30,615 --> 00:54:32,402
He's not David Bowie!
486
00:54:33,597 --> 00:54:38,257
Only twelve years old,
and only twelve dollars!
487
00:54:42,973 --> 00:54:45,349
Boys! Boys! Help!
488
00:54:49,423 --> 00:54:51,923
Help, boys! Help!
489
00:54:57,183 --> 00:54:58,034
Aaahh!
490
00:55:24,485 --> 00:55:26,569
And you can tell all your
scum friends that things
491
00:55:26,583 --> 00:55:28,872
are going to change in this town!
492
00:55:29,049 --> 00:55:30,752
I'm not just another pretty face!
493
00:55:31,579 --> 00:55:33,201
Grrr!
494
00:55:57,656 --> 00:56:00,712
Two prime candidates.
495
00:56:00,775 --> 00:56:01,950
Yeah.
496
00:56:02,156 --> 00:56:03,877
Rack 'em up!
497
00:58:07,100 --> 00:58:09,114
I hear the monster is so big.
498
00:58:09,131 --> 00:58:11,632
Well, I bet he's got his eye on me.
499
00:58:11,748 --> 00:58:14,322
For your information, everyone
knows Monster Prefer Blondes!
500
00:58:14,348 --> 00:58:16,953
There's a feeling going
around town that this monster
501
00:58:16,961 --> 00:58:18,921
is here to protect the people.
502
00:58:19,163 --> 00:58:22,036
And the jail's are becoming overcrowded.
503
00:58:22,041 --> 00:58:25,759
This monster has cleaned
the streets of every criminal.
504
00:58:25,844 --> 00:58:30,877
Almost all the criminals.
He hasn't gotten us yet.
505
00:58:30,877 --> 00:58:33,323
What the hell are we going
to do about this monster, eh?
506
00:58:33,340 --> 00:58:36,147
I'll tell you what we're going
to do. We're going to kill him.
507
00:58:36,244 --> 00:58:41,037
Because if we don't kill him,
he's going to kill us.
508
00:58:45,354 --> 00:58:46,084
Grrr!
509
00:58:46,135 --> 00:58:49,428
I owe you for the other
night, monster fagot!
510
00:58:49,493 --> 00:58:50,750
Grrr!
511
00:58:54,302 --> 00:58:57,515
So now we're going to give
you six new assholes,
512
00:58:57,607 --> 00:59:00,412
compliments of me, Cigar Face!
513
00:59:01,225 --> 00:59:02,446
Grrr!
514
00:59:10,438 --> 00:59:11,948
Grr!
515
00:59:16,457 --> 00:59:19,756
Boom! You should've seen it!
His teeth was everywhere!
516
00:59:19,801 --> 00:59:21,816
They looked like Chiclets!
517
00:59:22,451 --> 00:59:24,764
Hey, what are you doing, blondie?
518
00:59:25,054 --> 00:59:26,566
I'm waiting for my boyfriend.
519
00:59:26,746 --> 00:59:28,019
She's waiting for her boyfriend.
520
00:59:28,053 --> 00:59:30,881
Well, maybe I'm going to
be your boyfriend, baby!
521
00:59:31,538 --> 00:59:34,825
Hey, stop that!
My boyfriend won't like that!
522
00:59:34,876 --> 00:59:38,138
Maybe we'll have to take care
of that wimp of a boyfriend, huh?
523
00:59:38,878 --> 00:59:39,789
Melvin! Melvin!
524
00:59:40,124 --> 00:59:40,931
Melvin!
525
00:59:40,958 --> 00:59:42,071
Melvin!?
526
00:59:42,139 --> 00:59:43,086
Melvin!
527
00:59:43,576 --> 00:59:46,545
Yeah, Melvin. What's up, guys?
528
00:59:47,496 --> 00:59:50,151
Aah!
529
01:00:07,024 --> 01:00:11,687
Why, Melvin, you're beautiful.
You're a beautiful person.
530
01:00:13,651 --> 01:00:19,003
You're so muscular. It's been
two years since I touched a man.
531
01:00:22,685 --> 01:00:27,789
What are you doing to me?
I've never felt like this before.
532
01:04:58,914 --> 01:04:59,974
Murderer!
533
01:05:00,139 --> 01:05:02,463
- Aaahhh!
- Grrrrrr!
534
01:05:05,036 --> 01:05:07,116
I'm gonna teach you a lesson
you'll never forget!
535
01:05:07,148 --> 01:05:08,770
Aaahh!
536
01:05:23,496 --> 01:05:24,160
No!
537
01:05:24,202 --> 01:05:25,499
Sorry, madam.
538
01:05:33,868 --> 01:05:37,198
Open up please, open up!
539
01:05:38,367 --> 01:05:42,363
Help me! Oh, please open up!
Help me!
540
01:05:45,636 --> 01:05:46,634
Grrr!
541
01:05:46,642 --> 01:05:48,922
Aaahh!
542
01:05:49,387 --> 01:05:50,419
Going up?
543
01:05:53,487 --> 01:05:56,451
Let me out Let me out!
Please, someone help me!
544
01:05:56,991 --> 01:05:58,485
Aaahh!
545
01:06:01,019 --> 01:06:03,013
Aaahhh!
546
01:07:10,136 --> 01:07:14,989
Aah! She's stressing me, Slug!
Julie is stressing me, Slug!
547
01:07:15,003 --> 01:07:17,034
I can't take it!
I cannot take this, Slug!
548
01:07:17,236 --> 01:07:19,048
She's not here with car
and I've got to drive.
549
01:07:19,091 --> 01:07:20,602
I gotta drive, Slug!
I gotta drive!
550
01:07:20,603 --> 01:07:22,519
Alright, already. Alright.
Will you chill out?
551
01:07:28,211 --> 01:07:32,453
Hey, how would you like
to be behind the wheel
552
01:07:32,478 --> 01:07:34,792
of a beautiful Japanese import?
553
01:07:37,868 --> 01:07:39,640
Oh, that would be good!
554
01:07:43,569 --> 01:07:45,566
Hi, can we help?
555
01:07:45,720 --> 01:07:47,211
Oh, you sure can.
556
01:07:48,562 --> 01:07:51,559
Thank you so much.
Oh, it's so nice to have you
557
01:07:51,559 --> 01:07:53,930
boys like you here
in the neighborhood.
558
01:07:55,189 --> 01:07:57,455
Aahh!
559
01:07:58,045 --> 01:07:58,999
Aahhh!
560
01:08:00,112 --> 01:08:03,833
Oh, what a feeling, today!
561
01:08:14,017 --> 01:08:17,011
Did you see her face
when I punched her?
562
01:08:17,011 --> 01:08:19,236
I beat that old lady like a dog!
563
01:08:21,505 --> 01:08:23,224
Slug, there's that thing again!
564
01:08:25,199 --> 01:08:26,364
Let's get it!
565
01:08:33,732 --> 01:08:35,743
Shit! he's on the roof!
He's on the roof!
566
01:08:36,227 --> 01:08:38,090
Get him off!
He's going to kill both of us!
567
01:08:38,856 --> 01:08:41,051
Swerve the car, Bozo!
Swerve the car!
568
01:08:42,489 --> 01:08:44,214
I can't control the car!
569
01:08:50,756 --> 01:08:52,861
He's still there, swerve it again!
Swerve it again!
570
01:09:00,438 --> 01:09:02,933
I can't get him off the car, Slug!
I can't get him off!
571
01:09:07,541 --> 01:09:09,037
Slug, I'm going to die!
572
01:09:09,449 --> 01:09:12,012
Take the wheel, Slug!
Take the wheel!
573
01:09:12,600 --> 01:09:13,996
I'm stressed!
574
01:09:14,411 --> 01:09:15,361
Ah, what?
575
01:09:16,594 --> 01:09:17,594
What?
576
01:09:18,240 --> 01:09:21,087
Aaaahhh!
577
01:09:24,971 --> 01:09:26,469
Get out of here!
578
01:09:31,814 --> 01:09:32,566
No!
579
01:09:37,144 --> 01:09:38,837
See how you like this face, huh, Bozo?
580
01:09:38,983 --> 01:09:41,589
You know who this is?
It's Melvin, that's who it is!
581
01:10:04,823 --> 01:10:07,355
Hey, hey, hey, what about the
kid on the bike, Bozo?
582
01:10:07,412 --> 01:10:09,908
How does it feel to hit
a kid on a bike? Feels good!
583
01:10:11,317 --> 01:10:14,165
I've got problems! I've got problems!
I'm a stressed person!
584
01:10:19,215 --> 01:10:20,167
No, no!
585
01:10:58,097 --> 01:10:59,354
Give me the wheel!
586
01:11:02,222 --> 01:11:04,765
Just give me the wheel!
You'll going to kill both of us!
587
01:11:06,962 --> 01:11:10,956
You want the wheel?
Here, take the wheel!
588
01:11:12,685 --> 01:11:16,804
Aaahhh!
589
01:11:17,912 --> 01:11:22,101
Grrr! Ha ha!
590
01:12:22,581 --> 01:12:24,998
Yoohoo! Mr. Wilson!
591
01:12:25,078 --> 01:12:27,103
Mrs Haskel, how are you?
592
01:12:27,212 --> 01:12:28,430
Fine, thank you.
593
01:12:28,460 --> 01:12:29,959
How are the boys?
594
01:12:30,245 --> 01:12:33,888
Those boys are such terrors.
Especially Scott.
595
01:12:34,007 --> 01:12:37,242
He took his best girl out
last night and he came home
596
01:12:37,276 --> 01:12:40,056
with these stains, all over his pants.
597
01:12:40,663 --> 01:12:42,294
I don't know what they are.
598
01:12:42,659 --> 01:12:43,867
I don't either.
599
01:12:43,892 --> 01:12:45,390
Do you think you can get them out?
600
01:12:47,076 --> 01:12:50,568
My car! They're putting
a ticket on my car!
601
01:12:50,827 --> 01:12:53,492
Mrs. Haskel, don't move. Donft' move.
Stay right where you are.
602
01:12:53,508 --> 01:12:54,370
I'll be right back.
603
01:12:54,389 --> 01:12:57,133
You can't give me a ticket! You can't give me a ticket!
I have to go to a funeral--
604
01:13:00,760 --> 01:13:02,710
Hey, who do you think you're pushing?
605
01:13:04,123 --> 01:13:05,215
What do you want?
606
01:13:05,878 --> 01:13:08,693
Stay away from me!
Stay away from me!
607
01:13:08,703 --> 01:13:12,623
Help! Help! Help! Help!
608
01:13:12,659 --> 01:13:16,662
Stay away from me!
Stay away from me! Help!
609
01:13:17,040 --> 01:13:19,036
Help! Help!
610
01:13:19,528 --> 01:13:20,304
What the...?
611
01:13:22,708 --> 01:13:24,990
Put me down!
I didn't do anything!
612
01:13:31,748 --> 01:13:33,801
No Dickie here. No washie.
613
01:13:44,257 --> 01:13:48,252
Please, don't give me a ticket!
Please, don't give me a ticket!
614
01:13:53,389 --> 01:13:56,384
Okay, Mrs. Haskel, let's see what
we can do with these stains.
615
01:13:56,416 --> 01:14:00,282
Mrs. Haskel. Mrs. Haskel,
what are you doing back there?
616
01:14:00,383 --> 01:14:02,967
You know customers are
not allowed on that machine.
617
01:14:03,887 --> 01:14:05,383
Mrs. Haskel.
618
01:14:06,896 --> 01:14:08,273
Aah!
619
01:14:53,456 --> 01:14:55,520
Melvin, is that you?
620
01:14:59,545 --> 01:15:00,848
Melvin?
621
01:15:05,594 --> 01:15:06,733
Who's there?
622
01:15:08,371 --> 01:15:09,592
Who is that?
623
01:15:22,018 --> 01:15:25,012
It's me, Sarah. Only me.
624
01:15:25,753 --> 01:15:28,935
You scared me.
Is something wrong?
625
01:15:28,965 --> 01:15:30,960
Everything is wrong.
626
01:15:31,710 --> 01:15:33,707
What the matter?
What have I done?
627
01:15:33,801 --> 01:15:37,794
No, it's not what you've done.
It's what I've done.
628
01:15:37,984 --> 01:15:39,980
I think I'm out of control.
629
01:15:40,034 --> 01:15:43,923
You see, you're blind, Sara.
You don't know who I am.
630
01:15:45,023 --> 01:15:48,519
I'm really the monster
hero you heard about.
631
01:15:48,519 --> 01:15:51,512
And everyday I go out
and I mash people.
632
01:15:51,604 --> 01:15:54,099
I tear them apart and I can't stop.
633
01:15:54,578 --> 01:15:55,875
You better move back
to your apartment.
634
01:15:55,911 --> 01:15:57,418
I don't think its safe
for you to be around me.
635
01:15:57,440 --> 01:16:02,452
Oh, Melvin. I couldn't leave
you now. I love you, Melvin.
636
01:16:04,512 --> 01:16:07,008
I wish we could go somewhere.
637
01:16:07,484 --> 01:16:12,079
Yeah, some far away place.
Where there are no people.
638
01:16:12,108 --> 01:16:14,520
Where I can't kill anybody.
639
01:16:14,575 --> 01:16:17,568
What about that spot near Millers
farm that you told me about?
640
01:16:17,967 --> 01:16:19,963
Where you used to go to be alone.
641
01:16:19,963 --> 01:16:22,301
You said that was a very special place.
642
01:16:22,324 --> 01:16:25,801
Well, we could try it.
643
01:16:26,953 --> 01:16:29,448
Do you think I look
inconspicuous enough?
644
01:16:29,448 --> 01:16:31,942
I'll feel better when
we get to the campsite.
645
01:16:34,696 --> 01:16:35,831
Mayor, Mayor!
646
01:16:35,867 --> 01:16:38,857
Chief, look. Our monster
made a little bit of a mistake.
647
01:16:39,295 --> 01:16:41,291
You can't go around dry
cleaning little old ladies
648
01:16:41,331 --> 01:16:43,327
the public won't stand for it.
649
01:16:43,421 --> 01:16:45,574
We can kill him now with
no flack from anybody.
650
01:16:45,580 --> 01:16:48,013
Nein, nein. Bad news, Mayor,
651
01:16:48,414 --> 01:16:51,635
That old lady was hardly
a pillar of the community.
652
01:16:51,688 --> 01:16:55,900
In fact, she can a head of an
international white slavery ring.
653
01:16:55,899 --> 01:16:56,273
Shit...
654
01:16:56,445 --> 01:16:59,013
And she had a police record a mile long.
655
01:16:59,535 --> 01:17:00,688
We've got to cover this up.
656
01:17:00,891 --> 01:17:03,107
If it ever gets out to
the press we're sunk.
657
01:17:03,135 --> 01:17:06,199
And I want you to do me a favor.
Kill that bastard for me! You got it?
658
01:17:06,213 --> 01:17:06,766
Kill him!
659
01:17:06,802 --> 01:17:08,300
Yes, mein fuhrer. Mein mayor!
660
01:17:08,877 --> 01:17:11,373
Ladies and gentlemen,
may I have your attention please.
661
01:17:11,631 --> 01:17:14,127
Mayor Peter Bellgoode
will now take questions
662
01:17:14,367 --> 01:17:16,317
from the ladies and gentlemen
of the press.
663
01:17:20,153 --> 01:17:21,359
Uh, Miss Fink.
664
01:17:21,690 --> 01:17:25,183
What your administration stance
in regards to this alleged monster?
665
01:17:25,183 --> 01:17:26,679
Is he a menace or a miracle?
666
01:17:27,065 --> 01:17:30,060
He's definitely a menace, Miss Fink.
Right now therefs a massive
667
01:17:30,076 --> 01:17:34,054
search underway to find
the thing and destroy it.
668
01:17:35,331 --> 01:17:36,828
Yes, Mr. Leonard?
669
01:17:36,828 --> 01:17:38,825
Instead of trying to kill him,
shouldn't we be trying
670
01:17:38,825 --> 01:17:41,650
to capture him,
bring him in, study him?
671
01:17:41,673 --> 01:17:46,622
It is not a human being.
It is an it. You kill an it.
672
01:17:46,771 --> 01:17:47,924
Mr. Mayor. Mr. Mayor.
673
01:17:47,947 --> 01:17:48,775
Yes, Mr. Williams?
674
01:17:48,962 --> 01:17:52,213
The victim killed in the dry
cleaners, Mrs, ah, Haskel.
675
01:17:52,550 --> 01:17:54,270
What's her background?
What do we know about her?
676
01:17:54,295 --> 01:17:57,790
Mrs. Haskel was a member of
our community for over 30 years.
677
01:17:58,292 --> 01:18:02,285
Also a member of the PTA.
She had two fine sons.
678
01:18:02,285 --> 01:18:04,024
Everyone that know her, loved her.
679
01:18:04,403 --> 01:18:07,080
Question! Question!
Are you certain, Mr. Mayor,
680
01:18:07,097 --> 01:18:08,884
that the chief Himmel
and the police department
681
01:18:08,912 --> 01:18:10,849
can handle the situation in Tromaville?
682
01:18:10,887 --> 01:18:14,262
I have the utmost regard for
the chief, and his department.
683
01:18:14,667 --> 01:18:16,663
As I've said, he's conducting
a massive search
684
01:18:16,678 --> 01:18:18,178
for the monster right now.
685
01:18:18,489 --> 01:18:21,981
I want this thing found
and I want this thing killed!
686
01:18:22,247 --> 01:18:25,243
The mayor has notified the
governor and he's prepared
687
01:18:25,243 --> 01:18:27,736
to give us all the assistance we need.
688
01:18:27,736 --> 01:18:29,736
Should we break out
the heavy weapons?
689
01:18:29,736 --> 01:18:30,735
Come on, boys.
690
01:18:30,735 --> 01:18:33,229
I'd be dead right now if
it wasn't for the monster!
691
01:18:33,229 --> 01:18:36,722
Don't you think you're
being a bit hasty?
692
01:18:36,722 --> 01:18:40,718
Clancy, you will do as you're
told or you'll find yourself
693
01:18:40,718 --> 01:18:43,711
walking a beat in the city dump!
694
01:18:43,734 --> 01:18:48,725
Now I want this thing shot
and I want you to shoot to kill!
695
01:18:49,020 --> 01:18:52,687
That monster saved my life.
He's done a lot of good for this town.
696
01:18:52,701 --> 01:18:54,697
Why are they going to kill him?
697
01:18:55,080 --> 01:18:57,579
We should speak out!
Do something!
698
01:18:57,593 --> 01:18:59,590
Roy, why don't you do something!
Speak out!
699
01:18:59,878 --> 01:19:02,044
You want me to speak up?
If I speak up,
700
01:19:02,060 --> 01:19:05,152
I lose my business license.
If I lose my business license,
701
01:19:05,174 --> 01:19:07,667
I'm dead.
Do you want another shake?
702
01:19:07,667 --> 01:19:10,664
No! I want them
not to kill the monster.
703
01:19:10,857 --> 01:19:12,355
I want us to do something!
704
01:19:12,658 --> 01:19:15,155
Listen, Johnny, you're just a kid.
705
01:19:15,155 --> 01:19:18,149
People can't go around doing
things just because they're right.
706
01:19:18,149 --> 01:19:20,146
We have to leave these
decisions up to the mayor
707
01:19:20,146 --> 01:19:22,143
- and the police chief.
- That's right.
708
01:19:22,143 --> 01:19:24,140
But why would the mayor
want to destroy something
709
01:19:24,140 --> 01:19:27,134
that does more good than
the entire police force?
710
01:19:28,633 --> 01:19:30,130
No offense.
711
01:19:30,130 --> 01:19:33,122
I know how you feel, Johnny,
he saved my life too.
712
01:19:33,122 --> 01:19:37,119
But us, little guys, are just not
qualified to make these decisions.
713
01:19:37,119 --> 01:19:39,613
That's why he's the mayor.
714
01:19:39,613 --> 01:19:41,608
Right?
715
01:20:55,354 --> 01:20:58,846
We're gonna find that bastard, now.
Come on. Come on, girl!
716
01:20:58,873 --> 01:20:59,813
Heel. Come on.
717
01:20:59,973 --> 01:21:02,599
My first day on the force
and I'm chasing monsters!
718
01:21:08,326 --> 01:21:09,879
The dogs got a scent!
719
01:21:15,058 --> 01:21:17,813
I'm missing the ball
game for this bullshit!
720
01:21:17,805 --> 01:21:19,300
We ain't going to find
no monster out here,
721
01:21:19,300 --> 01:21:22,793
all we're going to find is a bunch
of mosquitoes biting my fuckin' asshole!
722
01:21:22,793 --> 01:21:24,789
Shut your fuckin' mouth!
723
01:21:25,054 --> 01:21:26,834
Hold on a second,
I think I see something.
724
01:21:26,852 --> 01:21:27,973
You don't see nothing but a couple
725
01:21:27,989 --> 01:21:30,776
of campers humping each other.
Come on, let's go home!
726
01:21:30,776 --> 01:21:32,771
Holy shit! It's the monster!
727
01:21:32,771 --> 01:21:33,769
Oh, sure!
728
01:21:33,769 --> 01:21:35,266
And he's got a bimbo with him!
729
01:21:35,763 --> 01:21:37,261
Oh, he's got your Mama with him!
730
01:21:37,261 --> 01:21:39,756
And she's wearing a bikini! Wow!
731
01:21:39,779 --> 01:21:41,273
Wait, let me see!
732
01:21:41,750 --> 01:21:44,677
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
733
01:21:46,738 --> 01:21:49,964
Come on, let's go tell the chief!
I'm going to get me a medal for this!
734
01:21:49,972 --> 01:21:51,634
Mayor! Mayor! Mayor!
735
01:21:52,549 --> 01:21:55,700
The monster has been sighted
in a field near Miller farm.
736
01:21:55,719 --> 01:21:56,719
That's wonderful!
737
01:21:56,719 --> 01:21:59,711
I'll have the National Guard
meet us out there in full force.
738
01:21:59,711 --> 01:22:00,460
You leave now!
739
01:22:00,589 --> 01:22:01,473
Ja!
740
01:22:02,205 --> 01:22:05,199
Hello, Mr. Governor,
how are you, sir?
741
01:22:05,660 --> 01:22:08,193
Fine, just fine.
742
01:22:08,193 --> 01:22:12,117
Governor, I need your help, sir.
743
01:22:12,147 --> 01:22:14,898
It's about this monster that's
been terrorizing my town.
744
01:22:15,138 --> 01:22:18,695
The local authorities can no
longer handle the situation.
745
01:22:20,063 --> 01:22:21,598
That's why I need your help.
746
01:22:22,456 --> 01:22:24,169
The National Guard?
747
01:22:24,656 --> 01:22:27,451
I was hoping you'd say that,
so we can kill it.
748
01:22:30,253 --> 01:22:35,115
Capture it? Well, I was
thinking the very same thing.
749
01:22:35,592 --> 01:22:40,084
Yes, capture would be fine.
Uh-huh. Well, thank you, Governor.
750
01:22:40,550 --> 01:22:43,546
Talk to you soon. Goodbye, sir.
751
01:22:46,938 --> 01:22:48,927
Capture, my ass!
752
01:26:11,443 --> 01:26:14,120
I don't like the way
this is going sargent.
753
01:26:14,138 --> 01:26:15,638
I know.
754
01:26:15,679 --> 01:26:18,017
The little people think he's
done a lot for this town.
755
01:26:23,449 --> 01:26:27,836
Oh, my God! They're calling
in the National Guard!
756
01:26:27,874 --> 01:26:30,172
Oh, look at all those men!
757
01:26:30,172 --> 01:26:31,673
Oh, I hope they don't hurt the monster.
758
01:26:31,673 --> 01:26:34,139
Monster, they aught to give
him a medal, not kill him.
759
01:26:38,670 --> 01:26:42,566
They're going to nuke him!
They're going to nuke the monster!
760
01:26:49,163 --> 01:26:52,164
- They found the monster!
- He's at the Miller Farm!
761
01:26:52,195 --> 01:26:53,439
They're going to kill him!
762
01:26:53,497 --> 01:26:56,468
Holy cow! We can't let him die!
763
01:26:57,956 --> 01:26:59,956
Let's go!
764
01:27:46,022 --> 01:27:47,022
Out of the way!
765
01:27:47,568 --> 01:27:48,592
Stand aside.
766
01:27:48,637 --> 01:27:51,581
Tent's in the clearing, Mayor.
My troops have it surrounded.
767
01:27:51,613 --> 01:27:52,902
We think he's still asleep.
768
01:27:53,180 --> 01:27:55,985
Fine, we'll move in and wipe him out.
769
01:27:56,195 --> 01:27:59,202
You can't do that, Mayor.
I've rechecked with headquarters
770
01:27:59,218 --> 01:28:01,394
They want us to
take him alive, not kill him.
771
01:28:01,390 --> 01:28:03,388
Your in charge, Pete.
Come on, give the orders!
772
01:28:03,405 --> 01:28:06,635
Mr.mayor, please, please, think of
what you are doing!
773
01:28:07,184 --> 01:28:08,995
There's an innocent girl
in there with him!
774
01:28:10,235 --> 01:28:12,018
Just one life for the whole town!
775
01:28:12,197 --> 01:28:14,009
But, Mr Mayor,
you don't understand!
776
01:28:14,095 --> 01:28:16,164
He saved my life!
He doesn't deserve to die!
777
01:28:16,202 --> 01:28:17,001
Shut up!
778
01:28:17,048 --> 01:28:20,046
Now you don't understand the
seriousness of this situation here, boy!
779
01:28:20,154 --> 01:28:24,154
How dare you discuss my
son's life or death like this.
780
01:28:24,591 --> 01:28:27,173
I'm Melvin's mother.
He's a good boy.
781
01:28:27,621 --> 01:28:29,468
He's never hurt anybody!
782
01:28:31,564 --> 01:28:36,373
Silence! Silence!
The orders have been given!
783
01:28:36,931 --> 01:28:40,256
It is our destiny to follow the orders!
784
01:28:49,921 --> 01:28:53,799
You in the tent, come out
with your hands up!
785
01:28:53,890 --> 01:28:55,249
You are surrounded!
786
01:28:56,327 --> 01:28:57,381
Grrr?
787
01:28:59,429 --> 01:29:01,151
The minute he comes out, kill him.
788
01:29:03,472 --> 01:29:04,974
- I'm coming with you.
- No, you're not.
789
01:29:05,003 --> 01:29:06,240
You've got to stay here.
790
01:29:06,272 --> 01:29:10,828
No, I can't let you do it! He's a hero.
I can't let you do it! I can't let you do it!
791
01:29:10,852 --> 01:29:13,349
Don't shoot him! Don't shoot!
792
01:29:13,376 --> 01:29:16,149
If you want to shoot my son,
you'll have to shoot me first!
793
01:29:24,304 --> 01:29:26,728
Okay, lads. Get these kids out of there!
794
01:29:28,596 --> 01:29:30,594
It's okay, Mom. Kids.
795
01:29:30,617 --> 01:29:31,616
Shoot it!
796
01:29:31,679 --> 01:29:33,179
Run! Run! Grrr!
797
01:29:33,666 --> 01:29:34,659
Fire!
798
01:29:34,693 --> 01:29:37,055
No, I won't do it.
799
01:29:37,156 --> 01:29:38,799
These kids are right.
800
01:29:44,265 --> 01:29:45,804
Captain, have your men fire!
801
01:29:45,822 --> 01:29:47,099
No, I can't.
802
01:29:47,383 --> 01:29:48,883
Shoot them! You shoot!
803
01:29:55,349 --> 01:29:56,171
Fire!
804
01:29:56,177 --> 01:29:57,210
Melvin!
805
01:29:57,230 --> 01:29:58,731
Alright, I'll do it myself!
806
01:29:59,003 --> 01:30:00,066
No!
807
01:30:00,705 --> 01:30:03,184
You touch me again and I'll kill you!
808
01:30:21,807 --> 01:30:23,251
Get away from me!
809
01:30:24,977 --> 01:30:26,303
Get away from me!
810
01:30:27,993 --> 01:30:30,896
No!
Ah, get away from me!
811
01:30:31,175 --> 01:30:33,324
Leave me alone!
Look, I'll make you a deal!
812
01:30:33,677 --> 01:30:35,776
I'll give you 10%, anything,
just leave alone!
813
01:30:35,893 --> 01:30:36,657
Grr!
814
01:30:36,658 --> 01:30:39,163
Don't hurt me!
I'm too young to die!
815
01:30:39,196 --> 01:30:40,698
Please don't hurt me!
816
01:30:40,713 --> 01:30:43,645
Please!
817
01:30:44,725 --> 01:30:47,564
You fat slob,
let's see if you have any guts!
818
01:30:49,685 --> 01:30:52,683
Aaahhh!
819
01:31:03,537 --> 01:31:08,044
Officer O'Clancy,
take care of this toxic waste.
820
01:31:11,559 --> 01:31:12,762
Melvin!
821
01:31:13,152 --> 01:31:13,880
Sarah!
822
01:31:14,257 --> 01:31:15,260
Melvin!
823
01:31:15,278 --> 01:31:16,222
Sara!
824
01:31:16,392 --> 01:31:17,900
Melvin! Ah!
825
01:31:18,148 --> 01:31:19,290
Sarah!
826
01:31:19,312 --> 01:31:20,438
Melvin!
827
01:31:20,672 --> 01:31:21,986
Sarah!
828
01:31:22,050 --> 01:31:23,169
Melvin?
829
01:31:23,773 --> 01:31:24,612
Sarah!
830
01:31:48,035 --> 01:31:52,034
So, Melvin, the monster hero,
rid Tromaville of all of it's evils,
831
01:31:52,040 --> 01:31:55,609
so the good citizens could live
their lives in peace and happiness.
832
01:31:56,832 --> 01:31:59,692
And the next time you're in
danger or in need to help,
833
01:32:00,046 --> 01:32:03,922
look to the horizon and
maybe, just maybe...
834
01:32:05,240 --> 01:32:07,820
The Toxic Avenger will be there.57674
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