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1
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,880
Oh, my God. What happened?
2
00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:15,880
A little warning from The Dean.
3
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How's it coming with the money?
We've only got two weeks left.
4
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,120
Yep, we're on target,
5
00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:24,600
it's the final push
but, um...
6
00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:26,360
..we're low on stock.
7
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,760
Of what?
8
00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:30,200
Everything.
Even crack?
9
00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:31,600
It's our bestseller.
10
00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:34,760
Professionals, clubbers,
students, they love it.
11
00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:36,720
Yeah. It can get you like that.
12
00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:39,320
OK, so how do we replenish stock?
13
00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:42,640
You need some fresh ingredients
and a cook.
14
00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:45,480
I'll arrange it. Well done.
15
00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:46,920
I'm impressed.
16
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:50,360
The Brook Hill crew is
nominally run
17
00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:51,680
by this man,
18
00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:54,280
Christian Taylor.
Taylor's currently inside
19
00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:56,280
for violating the terms
of his probation.
20
00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:58,600
So who's in charge now?
His lieutenants?
21
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,200
Unclear. Souljah's gone to ground,
22
00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:02,400
and Spider was shot and injured by
persons unknown.
23
00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:05,160
Have you spoken to him? We have.
He's still so weak he could barely
24
00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:07,400
answer our questions let alone run
any kind of crew.
25
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,080
Do we know how Brook Hill is
structured?
26
00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:10,960
Like most local crews,
we think they've got
27
00:01:10,960 --> 00:01:13,960
a network of foot soldiers who are
young and highly mobile.
28
00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:24,080
I thought I might go
and see Mum later.
29
00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:26,440
Oh. Well, say hi from me.
30
00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:28,120
You could come, she'd like that.
31
00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:31,040
Normally I'd be in like Flynn,
but sadly, I got a thing.
32
00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:33,600
Do you not feel like
you owe Mum a visit?
33
00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:36,720
Absolutely. It's on my list.
Right at the top.
34
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:44,040
Brook Hill is plugged into
the local community.
35
00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:47,040
Though we believe they have ties to
this major London player, The Dean.
36
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:49,120
Well, that means Brook Hill has
to get profits back
37
00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:50,920
to London, which means a bagman.
Any leads?
38
00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:53,400
Not yet, but The Dean's been at the
top level for years,
39
00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:56,040
so anyone moving money
for him will be one slick operator.
40
00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:59,040
I don't like broccoli.
41
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,120
You can't live entirely off
Tangy Cheese Doritos.
42
00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:03,560
You need fruit and veg in your diet
if you want to love again.
43
00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:06,480
Why? All right, supposing you go
round to Anne-Marie's house
44
00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:08,040
and she's made you a nice salad.
45
00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:10,200
I'll just pretend to have a stroke.
46
00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:12,160
How about...an olive?
47
00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:13,800
Oh, fuck off!
48
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,520
We've identified a kid -
Carter, 17 -
49
00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:18,360
we know he's running
for Brook Hill.
50
00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:21,200
We need four plainclothes in one
week to run surveillance on him.
51
00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:23,560
No. I don't have the manpower.
Sir, if we sit on this kid
52
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,440
for long enough, whoever's running
Brook Hill will show their face.
53
00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:28,400
Two people, 48 hours.
Three people, 72 hours.
54
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,960
Fine. But I want pictures
on my desk in three days.
55
00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:34,920
You better watch yourself.
56
00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:37,440
The Feds was here asking about
The Dean.
57
00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:40,160
They know someone's running my end,
so look sharp.
58
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:43,200
OK.
59
00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:46,840
You got to leave right now?
60
00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:49,000
Yeah. What?
61
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,560
If you go,
62
00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:52,920
I got to go back to my cell
and talk to Hank,
63
00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:55,640
and he ain't exactly
Graham Norton, you know?
64
00:02:58,240 --> 00:02:59,960
Can...can we just talk?
65
00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:01,000
OK.
66
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,840
What do you want to...talk about?
67
00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:06,120
Anything.
68
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,880
Why did you become a drug dealer?
69
00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:09,480
The pension plan.
70
00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:11,680
Aren't you scared of getting hurt?
71
00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:14,800
My dad never broke the law once.
72
00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:17,120
He was a welder all his life.
73
00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:20,040
What did he get
for all his honest hard work?
74
00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:22,560
Chronic lung disease from
the fumes.
75
00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:25,760
Why didn't you stay in school,
get an education?
76
00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:28,440
If your family couldn't afford
to put food on the table
77
00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,720
and someone offered you
a chance to make money,
78
00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:34,120
what would you choose?
Dealing, or double maths?
79
00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:14,680
Following an extensive
community needs assessment,
80
00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:16,600
we have a strategy that's in
line with
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00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:18,680
the city's economic action
plan. Slide.
82
00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:21,680
When I say, "Slide," Susie,
jump to the next slide.
83
00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:23,280
What are you doing?
84
00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:24,840
Prepping for the Town Hall tonight.
85
00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:27,240
You can stand down, love,
I'll be doing the talking.
86
00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:28,920
You don't know how
to work PowerPoint.
87
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,240
We don't need slides,
we need passion.
88
00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:32,720
This isn't rabble-rousing.
89
00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:34,960
We need to convince
the council that we have
90
00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:37,280
the financial nous to take over
the community centre.
91
00:04:37,280 --> 00:04:39,280
You have never
done a Town Hall, love.
92
00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:41,680
You've got to win the crowd.
It is war.
93
00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:43,560
Maybe we should put it to
the group.
94
00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:44,760
Claire,
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00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:47,200
although I fully support
the democratic process,
96
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,160
in this instance, kindly do one.
97
00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:51,200
I will be speaking at the meeting.
98
00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:55,960
Oh, my God. Lara's back on Her.
99
00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:58,280
Am I supposed
to know what that means?
100
00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:00,360
Er, OK. Um, Lara,
101
00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:01,960
Lara is my ex,
102
00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:03,760
and Her is-is-is
a lesbian dating site,
103
00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:06,440
which means that she's single again.
I don't know what to do. I mean,
104
00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:09,080
should I DM her? I should probably
DM her, right? I mean, is it weird
105
00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:11,520
if I DM her? I don't know, I mean,
I think it would be weirder if
106
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:14,040
I didn't DM her, is that right? What
do I do, Greg? Have you thought
107
00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:16,960
about DM'ing her? You really think I
should? I mean, last time I saw her,
108
00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:20,320
I royally shat the nest. Well,
you're in a better place now. Yeah.
109
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,040
Emotionally, not physically.
I mean, your place was way nicer.
110
00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:24,760
Yeah. Are you on the apps?
111
00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:27,600
Oof! No. Need a full body or brain
transplant before
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00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:29,760
an internet lady found
me attractive.
113
00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:32,760
That's nonsense. You should, you
should definitely be on the apps.
114
00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:34,320
Really? You think so?
115
00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:37,200
Yeah... Yeah, you should.
I mean, look, we...
116
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:39,440
..we need to work on
a few things first, but...
117
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:40,800
Like what?
118
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:43,400
Well, your diet,
posture, conversation,
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00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:46,120
wardrobe, general aura and height.
120
00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:48,240
My height?
Yeah. You're just...
121
00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:50,960
You're too tall.
You loom over people and it's...
122
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:52,640
How can I change that?
123
00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:55,320
You could be in the distance more.
124
00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:56,600
Sure, I'll try that. OK.
125
00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:01,200
Hmm. I'm going to make you my
new project.
126
00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:03,000
Greg 2.0.
127
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:06,000
I'm going to sign you up to all of
the dating apps, so...
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00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,480
..commit to change,
129
00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:10,160
choose happiness,
and eat the broccolini.
130
00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:14,920
Careful, it's hot. OK.
131
00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:18,640
Mmm. That's amazing.
132
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:24,520
Yeah? Mmm, thank you. Um,
I spoke to my parents.
133
00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:27,280
OK. You ask about the loan?
134
00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:28,960
No.
135
00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:30,440
No?
136
00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:32,920
It's just a bit difficult
cos, you know,
137
00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:35,560
all the money they saved was
for me to go to Oxford.
138
00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:41,160
OK. You're not getting cold feet
about Weston, are you?
139
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:42,760
No.
140
00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:44,640
No, I...I...
141
00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:47,440
..I just want to approach it
really carefully,
142
00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:49,960
you know? Um,
so I told them we'd come over,
143
00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:52,840
bring dinner, then once they've
sampled your yummy food, then we'd
144
00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:56,760
bring up the loan.
OK. Is that OK? Yeah. You sure?
145
00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:58,480
Yes. OK.
146
00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:04,760
Can you just add a bit more chilli?
Cos Dad likes it hot.
147
00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:06,440
Yeah? Yeah. So do I.
148
00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:14,480
Eww!
Go to your room!
149
00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:16,000
Go to YOUR room!
150
00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:23,320
Es, how would you like to move
to Weston with us,
151
00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:26,480
to open a food shack,
start selling my food?
152
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,560
Why would people pay for your food?
153
00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:30,320
Cos it's different.
154
00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:33,400
Come on, Es.
155
00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:36,120
Don't you want to live by the beach?
You know, sun, sea, donkeys.
156
00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:37,760
More people are killed by donkeys
157
00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:39,880
every year than die in
plane crashes.
158
00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:42,360
So...is that a yes?
159
00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:48,560
Fine. But if a donkey
even looks at me funny,
160
00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:50,640
I'm moving back to Bristol.
161
00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:01,760
Excuse me.
162
00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:04,000
Excuse me, madam, this is private
property.
163
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,000
For your own safety, I'm going to
have to ask you
164
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,320
to step on to the pavement, please.
165
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:11,640
OK. Legally, we are now safe.
How can I help?
166
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:15,520
Right, well, I live at number 14,
just across the road.
167
00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:17,360
You look like you're in charge.
168
00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:19,280
Your eyes do not deceive you.
169
00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:21,840
I thought I should let
you know that of
170
00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:26,480
an evening there's often comings
and goings in the centre.
171
00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:30,360
What, post-6pm?
172
00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:32,320
Yes. Sometimes late into the night.
173
00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:36,000
Can I take your name, please?
174
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,200
Barbara Latham.
175
00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:40,760
I'm not being nosey or nothing,
I just thought it was
176
00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:43,960
a bit odd, you know? It's been empty
for so long and then...
177
00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:46,760
Can you describe these comings
and goings, please, Barbara?
178
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,720
Not really, I'd need to move my sofa
to get a proper look.
179
00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:51,320
That would be great, if you could.
180
00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:53,800
Sofa's quite heavy, though,
and I'm on my own.
181
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,080
Right, well, you've got to bend at
the knees, you see?
182
00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:59,280
Really engage the core.
Use the breath.
183
00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:01,520
Breathe in. Lift. OK?
184
00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:03,000
Oi.
185
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,800
Yeah? Get a good vantage point.
186
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:08,640
Take photos. Have you got a
telephoto lens? No.
187
00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:11,440
No? Well you can
pick 'em up cheap on eBay,
188
00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:13,040
OK? Look,
189
00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:15,560
if you see
anything suspicious, call me.
190
00:09:15,560 --> 00:09:17,320
Right.
191
00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:21,360
Shouldn't I call the police?
192
00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:22,800
Read the card, Barbara.
193
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:25,520
I'm a Trainee Police Community
Support Officer.
194
00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:30,080
Round here, I am the law,
OK? Unless you get mugged
195
00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:33,960
or raped,
in which case, call the real police.
196
00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:38,720
I need you three
to pick up supplies for me.
197
00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:40,360
Supplies? Of what?
198
00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:42,760
Raw product.
Then bring it here tonight,
199
00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:45,400
where a cook will cook it.
Ready for sale.
200
00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:46,840
Why do we have to do that?
201
00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:49,760
Because look at you -
no-one will suspect you.
202
00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:52,760
Well, why can't you do it? Because I
have to drive around intimidating
203
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:55,160
little children that work for us.
Would you rather do that?
204
00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:57,800
I don't want to do that, I don't
know anything about buying drugs.
205
00:09:57,800 --> 00:09:59,240
Could you just figure it out?!
206
00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:03,680
No-one taught me how to run
a drug empire in school, either.
207
00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:10,320
I'd love to help,
208
00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:13,400
but I promised my daughter
I'd visit my ex-wife.
209
00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:16,640
If we're cooking crack cocaine,
YOU'RE cooking crack cocaine.
210
00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:18,400
Nah, leave him, leave him.
211
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:22,680
He's fixing things with his family.
That's important. Yeah.
212
00:10:22,680 --> 00:10:25,440
OK, so I'm signing you up
for Tinder.
213
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:26,960
No, I don't want to be one
214
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,640
of those sad, desperate losers
on a dating app.
215
00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:32,640
All right, fine. I'll delete it.
I guess it is just a load of people
216
00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:35,560
looking for meaningless sex. Well,
I suppose I could give it one go.
217
00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:36,880
No Greg, I think you're right.
218
00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:39,280
I think we should ease you in more
gently. Maybe Eharmony?
219
00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:41,880
Isn't that mainly over-50s?
Yeah.
220
00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:43,040
How old do you think I am?
221
00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:45,200
We'll need a sexy profile pic.
Have you got any photos
222
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:47,760
of you on holiday,
or maybe with a cute animal?
223
00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:51,400
Ooh, yeah. I've got a nice one of me
on Clacton Beach with a dead squid.
224
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:54,560
Three, two, one, go!
225
00:10:54,560 --> 00:10:58,120
Oh, yeah, I mean...
maybe take your glasses off?
226
00:10:58,120 --> 00:10:59,520
Glasses off? Yeah, rock and roll.
227
00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:02,560
Yeah. Absolutely. OK. Aww. Smile.
228
00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:06,880
You look like a Victorian
child-catcher.
229
00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:09,000
Let's try a pout, OK?
230
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,120
So, say, "Prunes."
231
00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:14,480
Ooh, you look like someone's
doing something
232
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:17,800
to you without your consent.
Greg, just...
233
00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:20,680
I'm out of my depth here.
If I can't even pose for a photo,
234
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,120
what am I going to be like on a
real date?
235
00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:24,960
Maybe I can change the filter.
236
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:27,240
Yeah? Can you filter out
middle-aged and desperation?
237
00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:30,320
No. But that's a great idea for
an app.
238
00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:33,000
I'm getting Greg back on
the dating horse
239
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,880
and he needs a bit of practice.
240
00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:37,200
And this affects me how?
241
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:40,800
Would you go on a
trial date with him? What?
242
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:43,160
You know, just to report back,
let me know how he does,
243
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:45,880
so that we can iron out any wrinkles
before he goes on any real dates.
244
00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:47,440
Definitely not.
245
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:51,080
I find Greg not only unattractive
but sexually repugnant.
246
00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:53,120
No offence taken.
247
00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:55,480
Mmm. You see, the thing is, Diane,
248
00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:58,240
I need a woman I can trust to give
me an independent
249
00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:01,400
heterosexual female
assessment of Greg's behaviour.
250
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,960
I can't be seen socialising with
criminals. I mean,
251
00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:06,440
not only am I his community
support supervisor,
252
00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:08,160
I'm also a trainee PCSO now.
253
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:11,400
But I need, you know,
a dating detective.
254
00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:14,280
Do you need fingerprints?
255
00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:15,920
DNA? Swab of the foreskin?
256
00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:18,960
Whatever you think is useful,
257
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:21,680
but you would be doing me
a massive solid.
258
00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:23,440
Go on, then.
259
00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:25,400
But only for the purposes
of research.
260
00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:27,400
Fabulous, thank you.
I owe you one, darling.
261
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:30,360
I'll pick you up at 19:00 hours. Oh,
would you mind if he picks you up,
262
00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:31,840
just to keep it more traditional?
263
00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:34,320
I'll allow it. Don't be late.
264
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,080
No, ma'am.
265
00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:50,120
It must be so boring being
a drug runner.
266
00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:56,280
Sitting around and doing...nothing.
267
00:12:57,480 --> 00:13:01,920
Just...waiting and keeping lookout.
268
00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:05,960
I'd be so bored.
269
00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:20,480
Nope, grey.
What are we looking for?
270
00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:23,320
We are looking for
a green Volkswagen Golf,
271
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:25,960
and the driver has
a scar underneath his left eye.
272
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:28,720
Jesus. Of course he does.
Jesus. This is not happening.
273
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:31,440
I'm a middle-aged bloke with a wife
and two kids, you know.
274
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:35,160
I should be bleeding radiators or
creosoting a shed,
275
00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:37,120
not sat here waiting to pick up
276
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:41,160
a kilo of uncut shitting cocaine!
Forget it. Not doing it. Too late.
277
00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:46,800
Shit. Oh, shit. Shit!
What do we do now? What do we do?
278
00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:48,160
I don't know!
279
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,360
I'll just consult my black-person
manual, shall I?
280
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:52,320
"Car Park Drug Deals -
chapter five."
281
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:55,280
Oh, window. Oh, shit,
we're doing this. Oh, fuck my life.
282
00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:04,360
Hello, all right? Yo.
Is it G... Are you G?
283
00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:06,200
Good afternoon, officer.
284
00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:08,320
No, I'm not...I'm not a policeman.
285
00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:09,760
No? What do you do, then?
286
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:13,640
Me? Well, I'm...
I'm between jobs at the moment
287
00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:16,520
because no-one's hiring a white,
middle-aged bloke these days,
288
00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:17,760
are they?
289
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,240
Unless you're disabled or a
transgender vegan that's...
290
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:21,760
Not...not...not now. Not now?
291
00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:23,360
You got the four bags?
292
00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:26,560
No, cos I think we're
buying them from you.
293
00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:30,080
Bag o' sand, grand.
Four grand. You got the four grand?
294
00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:32,600
We're from Bristol.
We don't do rhyming slang.
295
00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:35,320
Wait, if you call a grand
a bag of sand,
296
00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:39,080
just interested, what do you
call a bag of sand?
297
00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:41,720
You got the money?
Yeah.
298
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:46,600
Shit, man!
299
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:49,080
Don't wave it around like
a game show host!
300
00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:50,360
Put it in something!
301
00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:52,160
Er, have a look in the
glove compartment.
302
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:56,280
Anything?
303
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:59,160
No. Just some middle-of-the-road
white man music
304
00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:02,200
and an underwear catalogue that
seems to be catering
305
00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:03,880
for women with a fuller bust.
306
00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:05,720
What is this? Porn for cowards?
307
00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:08,640
Just my wife's.
It's OK. I've got an envelope.
308
00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:10,760
An envelope. I've got an envelope.
309
00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,600
There we go.
310
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:13,920
No!
311
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:18,400
Right. You've put the money in?
I've done... Yeah.
312
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:21,840
Get out... Yeah. ..and pretend to
drop your keys. Drop your keys.
313
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:24,080
Leave the money on
the front-right tyre.
314
00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,360
He said, leave the money on
the front-right tyre.
315
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,720
Then walk inside, get a coffee.
316
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:31,480
He said, go get a coff...
I don't drink coffee.
317
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:33,080
It makes me all kinds of wired.
318
00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:34,760
Is peppermint tea OK?
319
00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:37,320
Listen
It don't matter what you drink.
320
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:39,840
Just go away, come back in ten,
321
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:43,400
and the product will be where
the money is. You get me, right?
322
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,120
Yeah.
323
00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:48,600
Go, then.
324
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:56,160
Oh... Butterfingers!
325
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:05,640
I've got 'em.
326
00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:22,360
Come on... We're coming. We're
coming. Oh, my God, it's there. OK.
327
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:23,760
So, I have to...
328
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:25,200
Oh. Do you know,
329
00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:27,880
I do not know what's wrong
with me today.
330
00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:38,480
Just wait, wait, wait. Jesus Christ!
331
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:52,120
Hey, Mum.
332
00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:59,280
Look who's come to see you.
333
00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:01,720
Hey, Lou.
334
00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:03,880
Does she even know we're here?
335
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:05,280
She doesn't talk any more,
336
00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:07,320
so we don't know how much
she knows.
337
00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:12,240
Frank is going to
take you for a walk today.
338
00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:21,640
Nice wheels you got there.
339
00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:24,280
Little different
from that Alfa Romeo we used
340
00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:26,040
to skip around in.
341
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:31,440
Remember that time we drove all
the way to London just
342
00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:35,160
to see the sun rise over
Tower Bridge?
343
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:41,520
We broke down on
the freeway coming back.
344
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:44,440
I flagged down that guy,
345
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:47,880
persuaded him to swap his
Hillman for the Alfa Romeo.
346
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:52,520
I wo...I wonder if he ever made
it home.
347
00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:01,360
I'm sorry...I didn't visit earlier.
348
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:05,800
I've been busy.
349
00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:12,480
Remind me of the brief again?
Just choose an outfit you think
350
00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:15,560
will make a good first impression
on a first date. Oh, I got it.
351
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:22,000
Leather trousers?
352
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,400
Yeah. I read in
GQ Magazine that every man should
353
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:27,200
have at least one peacocking item
that really makes him stand out.
354
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,080
Right, right.
355
00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:31,240
But you've...you've paired
the leather trousers
356
00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:33,000
with loafers and a shirt and tie?
357
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,200
I have, yeah,
yeah. Adding a bit of class.
358
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,400
You look like the
Hell's Angels' accountant.
359
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:40,960
Thank you. Greg, that's not a
compliment. It doesn't work.
360
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:43,000
Why not?
361
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:46,720
Jim Morrison - regional manager
of a Morrisons.
362
00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:50,520
Come on!
363
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:09,240
Does he want me to pull over?
364
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:13,480
You can't. What? Don't pull over!
365
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:15,400
No, he's... Shit!
366
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:17,960
Shit! You've got
a kilo of coke in your bag!
367
00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:20,400
Oh, this is not happening!
What do we do? Stay calm!
368
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:23,480
What happens, though? You just have
to act like you have not got a care
369
00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:25,600
in the world. Oh...!
370
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:52,720
Can you turn the music down
please, sir?
371
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:00,160
Is there a problem, officer?
372
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:03,200
You were doing 40 in
a 30mph zone.
373
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:06,680
Do you know, I literally didn't know
that that was a 30.
374
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,000
I assume you understand
the dangers of driving over
375
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,880
the speed limit in a built-up area?
376
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,480
Listen,
377
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:16,120
I know that Highway Code like
the back of my hand. Licence.
378
00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:17,480
Sorry.
379
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:21,080
Are you all right?
Yeah.
380
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:23,240
He just prides himself on being
a really good driver.
381
00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:25,800
He's a bit embarrassed.
Hopefully, three points
382
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:28,560
and a 100-quid fine will make him be
a bit more careful in the future.
383
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,920
Three points?!
One minute.
384
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:32,880
Three points?! Are you...?
385
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:36,080
You should be out there catching
criminals, mate. Three points!
386
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:39,960
Thank you, Officer,
and once again, we are really sorry!
387
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:43,000
Three points.
That is...that is madness!
388
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,800
Would you rather have 20 years in
jail for drug-dealing?
389
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:47,800
You all right?
390
00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:50,720
No, I feel... Oh...
I feel like I can't breathe.
391
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:54,280
Oh, God. You're hyperventilating.
Hold on.
392
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:55,920
Oh, God.
393
00:20:57,240 --> 00:20:59,000
Myrna, seriously, I'm...
394
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,600
Take that. Breathe into that.
395
00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:04,720
Better?
396
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:06,520
It's bloody plastic!
397
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:09,680
Just take small breaths and try
and stay calm.
398
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:11,520
I don't like it, Myrna.
399
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:14,400
Right. Here we go. Try some of that.
400
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,600
It is herbal, it will calm
you down.
401
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:19,800
What the f...?! No! What is that?!
You're supposed to dab some behind
402
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,400
your ears! Oh, for Christ's sake!
403
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:23,520
Oh, Christ's sake, Myrna!
Oh, God!
404
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:31,600
Bad luck, Reg.
405
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:34,080
Come on, Stanley.
406
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,800
Bad luck, fellas.
407
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:38,080
Want to go again?
408
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:41,400
Oh, seriously? You're unbelievable.
409
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:44,680
Dennis here
is the unbelievable one.
410
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,040
Three winning shots on
the bounce.
411
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:48,760
I think he's hustling me.
412
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:51,320
So, you can't even spend
half an hour with her?
413
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:54,000
Margie,
she has no idea what's happening.
414
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,200
Do you even understand why
that's wrong?
415
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:57,800
I have to level with you.
416
00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:00,240
Seeing her like this
makes me feel bad.
417
00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:03,160
It isn't about you. When she got
sick, you never visited her,
418
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:05,720
you just pretended she didn't exist.
Well, she does exist,
419
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:08,520
and if seeing her makes you feel
bad, then that's tough!
420
00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:09,840
Whoa.
421
00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:11,560
Mum?
422
00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:12,840
Mum?!
423
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:14,400
Get a...get a nurse!
424
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:38,720
Hello, Rani.
Hello, Mum.
425
00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:41,280
Come in, come in.
426
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:47,960
Shoes off at the door, please.
Yeah, sure.
427
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:50,320
I don't want any scratches on
my floor.
428
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:53,480
There are no scratches on the floor.
Because it's shoes off at
429
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:56,960
the door!
Please, put on some slippers.
430
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:58,560
You can wear an old pair of mine.
431
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:01,720
Yeah, you don't have to wear those.
432
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:07,400
No, I've...I've never had a pair of
slippers before. Oh.
433
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:12,320
They're...they're lush.
434
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:14,160
Oh, good.
435
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:15,480
I hope you're hungry.
436
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:19,160
Oh, yes! Please,
it's through there.
437
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:21,360
Thank you.
438
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:36,400
Evening, Diane. You look nice.
19:03.
439
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,160
Subject is three minutes late
and did not,
440
00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:42,560
I repeat, not bring
flowers. Breathe.
441
00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:46,160
Breath, adequate.
442
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:49,520
Aftershave, vinegary.
443
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:51,440
You going to do this all night?
As I see fit.
444
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:54,040
I just think it might ruin
the mood.
445
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:56,760
Subject questions methodology of
the adjudicator.
446
00:23:58,360 --> 00:24:00,280
Bye, Mum!
447
00:24:02,360 --> 00:24:04,040
Subject picks up hot date in
448
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:08,920
a beige 2012 Skoda Octavia.
449
00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:12,000
Makes him look like
a Bulgarian minicab driver.
450
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:21,960
Vehicle interior smells
like balls and Glade.
451
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,280
Happy to go?
452
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:24,880
Yeah, let's get this over with.
453
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:26,840
Oh, I'm going to
have to crack a window.
454
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:43,200
Sorry, sorry.
455
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:47,840
You're not what I expected.
You're late.
456
00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:49,240
Sorry, yeah.
457
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:51,640
We just...we just had a bit of a
run-in with the...
458
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:53,800
Traffic. With the traffic on the M4.
459
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:56,280
You know what the traffic can be
like on the M4.
460
00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:59,040
My mum's the best cook in
the South West.
461
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:01,760
She's Michelin-starred.
It's rude to keep her waiting.
462
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:06,360
Sorry, let's...let's crack on,
shall we? No pun intended.
463
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:12,000
It's just through
those double doors up there.
464
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:22,200
John, there is a meeting tonight
which I cannot miss. Cop hold.
465
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:24,600
What do you mean,
there is a meeting?
466
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:27,480
You can't leave me
with these people.
467
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:30,080
They seem nice.
They seem...? Myrna,
468
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:32,120
these people cook crack for
a living!
469
00:25:32,120 --> 00:25:35,160
I'll only be an hour!
I don't want to do this on my own!
470
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:38,960
Look, I know that today has been
rather stressful.
471
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:40,200
Stressful?!
472
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:43,120
I will be back in an hour.
I promise. Got to go.
473
00:25:43,120 --> 00:25:44,800
Listen. Listen...
474
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:49,160
Myrns!
475
00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:14,320
You've not done this before,
have you?
476
00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:15,680
Can you tell?
477
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:18,400
You don't look like someone who
usually deals crack.
478
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,160
What do you need the money for?
479
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:22,040
Gambling debts?
480
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:23,600
Big divorce settlement?
481
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:25,240
A London gangster wants to kill me.
482
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:29,080
Classic.
483
00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:42,840
Calm your nerves.
484
00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:46,680
Cheers.
485
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:49,400
Cheers.
486
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:53,360
What's your name?
487
00:26:53,360 --> 00:26:55,320
John. Yours?
488
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:56,760
Anastasia.
489
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:58,080
Really?
490
00:26:58,080 --> 00:26:59,680
No.
491
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:02,920
Never use your real name, John.
492
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:06,280
First rule of crack-dealing.
493
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:19,280
That's nice, innit?
Would you like another drink?
494
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:20,920
Yeah, definitely.
495
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:23,480
Excuse me.
Can I have another Grolsch
496
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:25,760
for me, and a white wine spritzer
for him?
497
00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:32,320
Why don't you ask me
some questions?
498
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:34,280
Questions, yeah. Good idea, yeah.
499
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,640
What is your favourite colour,
please?
500
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:39,880
This is a date,
501
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:42,480
not a Smash Hits interview.
Just ask me an adult question.
502
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:44,120
Have you ever had a threesome?
503
00:27:44,120 --> 00:27:46,360
No, not like an
adult movie question.
504
00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:49,160
And, yeah, I have.
Didn't enjoy it. Too much talking.
505
00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:53,000
Just ask me a normal question from
one person to another.
506
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,240
Do you have any hobbies?
No. I don't have time
507
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:57,520
for hobbies.
Too busy training as a PCSO.
508
00:27:57,520 --> 00:27:59,880
Oh, yeah. How's that going?
Yeah, it's awesome.
509
00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:02,520
Incapacitant spray training last
week. That was a highlight.
510
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:04,080
What does that involve?
511
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:07,600
This. Pepper spray.
512
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:10,480
They spray it on our faces
so we know what it feels like.
513
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,200
They issue you with this, do they?
514
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:14,880
Oh, God. No, no.
Pepper spray is illegal.
515
00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:16,720
So, where did you get that?
516
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:18,120
Next question.
517
00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:23,960
It's good to see you.
518
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:25,760
Yeah, yeah, you too, you too.
519
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:27,560
And you're drinking water?
520
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:28,920
I'm...I'm completely off
521
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:32,000
the booze now. Like, for real this
time. That's great.
522
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,520
Yeah, yeah. Oh,
and the drugs and, yeah,
523
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:36,960
I got rid of all the hangers-on,
you know?
524
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:40,680
Just realised that they were
actually just taking the piss.
525
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:47,080
Look, Lara, I...I...
526
00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:50,800
..I want you to know that I have
completely sorted myself out
527
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:55,520
and, well, I...I saw that
you're...you're on Her,
528
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:58,760
and I thought maybe
you might want to try again.
529
00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:01,240
Gabby...
I'm completely clean, I promise.
530
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:02,680
I mean, I don't touch a thing now,
531
00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:05,000
not even on weekends or on
special occasions.
532
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,600
That's great. Yeah.
I'm pleased for you, really,
533
00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:08,920
I am.
534
00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:13,280
But I forgot
to remove my profile from Her.
535
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:15,920
I'm not single.
I'm actually engaged.
536
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:25,240
Er... Congratulations.
537
00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:30,200
Wow. Um, do I...?
538
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:31,760
No.
539
00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:37,320
Look, I probably need to go.
540
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:38,720
Of course, no, of course.
541
00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:40,240
It really was nice to see you.
542
00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:48,960
The Hardest Button To Button
by The White Stripes
543
00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:05,280
Where did you hide it,
you overgrown stick insect?!
544
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:18,320
Who still buys DVDs, Greg?!
545
00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:42,120
Yes!
546
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:13,680
You look...tired.
547
00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:16,880
Your eyes are dark. Are you
getting enough sleep? Mum.
548
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:18,760
Well, then you're not drinking
enough water.
549
00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:21,800
Jerzy, pour Rani a glass of water.
No, I don't want any water.
550
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:23,760
Yeah, you need about seven or
eight glasses.
551
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:25,320
I don't want any water!
552
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:32,760
You may think you are
old enough
553
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:35,360
to look after yourself,
make your own decisions, but
554
00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:37,880
look at you. You're a mess.
Abandoning your future.
555
00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:39,200
I'm not talking about this.
556
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:40,920
Living with a boy
with no prospects.
557
00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:43,480
What sort of a boy has never owned
a pair of slippers?
558
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:44,680
Why are you fixating on that?
559
00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:47,480
Because it tells us all we need
to know about the kind of boy he is.
560
00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:49,600
That you are throwing your life
after some sort
561
00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:52,240
of low-life that we've always tried
to protect you from.
562
00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:56,000
Ahhhh. Wow,
smells delicious. Thank you.
563
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:58,760
Ah. There's extra chilli in this
one for you,
564
00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:01,160
Mr Rekowski. Rani told me you like
your food hot.
565
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:03,120
The hotter, the better!
566
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:04,440
You make all this yourself?
567
00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:05,680
Yeah.
568
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:07,200
I'll just be...
569
00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:16,240
My wife felt that we were stuck in a
rut, so Mr Romantic here surprised
her with a camping trip to Cornwall,
570
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:20,280
and while I was emptying out the
chemical toilet, this chap came by
and he's like, "Oh, would you like
571
00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:23,000
"to do some white-water rafting
with me?" Apparently some other
572
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:26,760
people had dropped out and he needed
to make up the numbers cos otherwise
he would have lost his deposit.
573
00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:30,640
It doesn't matter, move on. Yeah,
well, anyway I couldn't do it,
myself, because I've only got my
574
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:33,640
ten-metre swimming badge. But my
wife did go with him and, um...
575
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:36,200
Don't tell me. You caught that other
bloke shagging
576
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:39,440
your wife's brains out. No, no.
But she fell in love with...
577
00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:40,880
The other bloke.
578
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:42,440
Cos he's a demon in the sack
579
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:45,000
and having sex with you is like
shagging a giant Pepperami.
580
00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:49,200
No, she fell in love with danger
and adrenaline.
581
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:51,640
Oh, right. There was no
stopping her after that.
582
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:54,400
She got into base jumping,
and abseiling,
583
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:56,880
and doing parkour around Bristol
city centre. I mean,
584
00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:59,160
we'd be down in town doing
a bit of Christmas shopping,
585
00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:01,040
she'd suddenly be off over
the roof of Argos.
586
00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:03,760
She wanted us to do
a bungee jump together, to try
587
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:06,240
and sort of save the marriage.
So I agreed.
588
00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:07,560
We got harnessed up,
589
00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:09,680
stood on the edge
of Clifton Suspension Bridge
590
00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:12,080
but I couldn't go through with it.
She jumped, looked back,
591
00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:14,120
saw me standing there
and just shouted,
592
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:17,000
"I want a divorce!" as she
plummeted into Avon Gorge.
593
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:19,520
She bounced back up and shouted,
"You're dragging me down!"
594
00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:22,440
even though it was gravity
dragging her down at that point,
595
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:25,960
to be honest, but I understood what
she was saying,
596
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:28,920
which is that I'm boring.
597
00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:32,880
No. You're not boring.
598
00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:34,520
Want to do the quiz?
599
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:36,640
Yeah, for the love of God,
yeah. Thank you.
600
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:41,360
Team name.
601
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:42,800
Diane and Greg.
602
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:48,040
Margie...
Don't talk to me.
603
00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:08,640
I have never tasted anything
like this. It's so...fresh.
604
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:10,480
Would you give me the recipe?
605
00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:13,000
The recipe belongs to my grandma,
so I'm going to have
606
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:15,240
to take that one to my grave!
607
00:34:15,240 --> 00:34:18,000
I'm really glad that you like
Ben's cooking,
608
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:20,200
cos we actually have something
that we want to talk
609
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:21,600
to you about.
610
00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:25,040
We're going to...
611
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:27,480
We want to open a
food place in Weston.
612
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:33,000
With my cooking and Rani's brain,
who knows?
613
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:35,680
We might be able
to start our own franchise.
614
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:38,080
And we were wondering if you could
give us a loan.
615
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:41,360
Which we will pay back... Of course.
..once we get back on our feet.
616
00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:43,760
Oh! What about Oxford?
617
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:45,400
That was your dream, not mine.
618
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:48,240
So, a food shack in Weston.
That's your dream?
619
00:34:48,240 --> 00:34:50,120
Yeah.
620
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:58,760
Your mother and I started
a business from scratch.
621
00:34:58,760 --> 00:35:00,560
It takes all of your energies.
622
00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:03,240
So much hard work,
you will have no free time.
623
00:35:03,240 --> 00:35:04,720
Yeah, I know.
624
00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:07,360
But I imagine
625
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:09,680
the sense of achievement
must be intense.
626
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:11,400
Starting a business from nothing,
627
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:13,680
and raising such an amazing daughter
at the same time?
628
00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:18,240
What I want most is what you have.
629
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:22,880
I never had a stable
upbringing. Well,
630
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:25,880
you know, the thought
of starting my own business,
631
00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:29,680
buying my own house, wife, kids...
632
00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:37,200
So...
633
00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:40,480
..what do you think about the loan?
634
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:42,040
We'll...
635
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:45,200
We'll think about it.
636
00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:49,520
Look at the slide.
637
00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:52,320
14% of over-25s we surveyed
638
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:54,760
said a phone mast brings no jobs to
the community.
639
00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:57,600
Or anything productive.
And on the next slide...
640
00:36:02,240 --> 00:36:05,400
What it will bring is faster
data download
641
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:07,160
and upload speed,
642
00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:09,800
so no more waiting for Netflix
to buffer.
643
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:13,080
And we're planning
to build in front of the mast site,
644
00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:14,640
as a voluntary contribution to
645
00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:17,440
the community, at our own expense,
646
00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:21,080
a park bench and three trees.
647
00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:23,920
Y-y-yes, but returning
to slide four...
648
00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:26,960
Oh. Just what we need. More slides.
649
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:30,760
We don't need another park bench
around here, either!
650
00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:32,400
Where kids can go
651
00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:34,920
to drink or get high,
because they're so bloody bored.
652
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:37,520
This guy will promise you
the moon on
653
00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:39,760
a string if it gets him his
planning application.
654
00:36:39,760 --> 00:36:42,120
But he'll be gone in a week.
655
00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:43,240
Me, and you,
656
00:36:43,240 --> 00:36:45,680
and Claire, we live here.
657
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:49,520
There are kids out there as young as
nine or ten selling drugs
658
00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:51,080
to make ends meet.
659
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:54,360
I know. I see them every day.
660
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:59,000
They don't need faster mobile phone
speeds if they're dead or locked up
661
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:00,720
or hooked on crack.
662
00:37:00,720 --> 00:37:02,280
Well...
663
00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:05,520
What they do need is somewhere
to go at nights,
664
00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:08,440
to study, to get what they need,
665
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:11,760
where their parents can get therapy
or go to rehab.
666
00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:14,920
Or learn to dance. Mate,
667
00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:18,160
we don't need your phone tower
around here,
668
00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:22,920
what we do need is community!
669
00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:28,000
Plus...
670
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:30,960
..5G gives you Covid-19!
671
00:37:57,280 --> 00:38:00,640
You like...you like cooking other
things, food, or...
672
00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:04,720
..just the crack?
673
00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:27,680
How does someone like you wind up in
trouble with a London gangster?
674
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:30,160
That's a very long
and a very depressing story.
675
00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:32,360
We've got a while.
676
00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:33,880
Nah.
677
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:39,240
You don't want my tale of woe.
678
00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:44,920
Want some?
No.
679
00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:46,040
You ever tried it?
680
00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:48,520
Have I ever smoked crack?
Er, no. No,
681
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:50,040
I've never smoked crack.
682
00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:51,400
I'm a middle-aged married man
683
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:53,280
with two kids and
a recurrent hernia.
684
00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:54,680
All the more reason to smoke some.
685
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:56,880
No, I read the papers,
I know what that stuff's like.
686
00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:58,120
Instantly addictive.
687
00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:00,360
I'd have one puff
and in a month, I'd have no teeth
688
00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:01,960
and a pimp named Alphonso.
689
00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:06,840
No. It's nothing like
The Daily Mail says.
690
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:09,360
It's just amazingly good fun.
691
00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:32,920
How much amazingly good fun?
692
00:39:32,920 --> 00:39:35,400
It will make you
forget your tale of woe.
693
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:49,480
Oh, shit.
694
00:39:51,240 --> 00:39:53,760
No Surprises
695
00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:09,240
She's stable...
696
00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:19,760
Which famous actor is said
697
00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:23,920
to have invented
the Magnum ice cream?
698
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:26,360
Oh, what?! Who is going to get that?
699
00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:29,240
Roger Moore.
He loved a choc ice
700
00:40:29,240 --> 00:40:32,160
but he didn't like getting chocolate
ice cream on his safari suit.
701
00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:35,120
So he thought, hang on, I'll pop a
stick in the end. Ergo, the Magnum.
702
00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:37,880
What about the picture round?
I don't know any of them.
703
00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:40,240
Rod Hull, Samantha Fox,
Keith Flint from The Prodigy,
704
00:40:40,240 --> 00:40:42,280
Kendall Jenner,
Jeffrey from Rainbow,
705
00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:45,520
Charles Manson, Emma Stone,
and DJ Bruno Brookes.
706
00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:49,000
What is the capital of Ecuador?
707
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:51,320
Oh, you are havin' a laugh!
Quito.
708
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:53,040
Yup, we got it. We know it.
709
00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:54,720
Q... OK...
710
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:11,880
Hey...
711
00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:13,600
What?
712
00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:28,360
Anyone watching you?
713
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:29,760
No.
714
00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:32,320
I can't see who's inside.
715
00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:33,600
Anyone complaining?
716
00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:35,200
Nah, I got compliments.
717
00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:38,600
Did you lose any regulars?
718
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:40,040
Don't think so.
719
00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:41,640
Is that a yes or a no?
720
00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:43,040
It's a no.
721
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:45,240
Don't lie to me.
I ain't.
722
00:42:45,240 --> 00:42:47,080
Do you know what happens when
you lie?
723
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:50,240
Yeah, and I ain't lying.
You better not be.
724
00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:56,000
Go.
725
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:13,840
Which means the runners-up,
in second place...
726
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:17,760
..with 36 points, are...
727
00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:19,120
You're crushing my fingers.
728
00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:21,160
I'm sorry, it's my natural
vice-like grip.
729
00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:23,320
..J Lo's Arse!
730
00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:25,680
Which means the winners are
731
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:27,480
Cagney and Lacey!
732
00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:29,640
Yee-haw. Woo!
733
00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:33,000
Losers! Losers! Losers!
734
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:35,440
Oh, hello, sir,
you all right?
735
00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:38,280
Sorry, you just dropped something on
the floor. That! And one for you!
736
00:43:38,280 --> 00:43:41,280
Yeah! Wow! Oh, my God!
I've never won anything before!
737
00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:43,720
You are insane at quizzes!
738
00:43:43,720 --> 00:43:45,920
Well, thanks, yeah.
Product of a misspent youth.
739
00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:48,000
I played a lot of Trivial Pursuit in
my teens.
740
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:49,480
Wow! Wild. Idea.
741
00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:51,640
You and I go back to my house,
have coffee
742
00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:53,880
and sexual intercourse.
I don't do tea-bagging,
743
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:56,600
golden showers or reverse anal.
Everything else is up for grabs.
744
00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:59,480
What's reverse anal? Wouldn't that
just be regular, in the front door?
745
00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:01,360
No, that's what they want you to
think.
746
00:44:01,360 --> 00:44:03,440
Hold that thought.
747
00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:04,920
Go for Diane Pemberley.
748
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:06,840
Hello, it's Barbara.
Who?
749
00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:09,880
There's people in the centre, I can
see their shadows moving about.
750
00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:11,480
Did you get a camera?
751
00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:14,360
Yes, I found one in the back of
the sideboard.
752
00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:16,840
Er, I'm not sure how well
it'll come out,
753
00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:20,320
mind, it's been in
the drawer since my Kenny died.
754
00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:21,480
God, I miss him!
755
00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:24,240
Right. Stay focused,
woman. Take pictures of everything,
756
00:44:24,240 --> 00:44:25,720
OK? I'm coming over.
757
00:44:25,720 --> 00:44:27,880
I need you to drop me off at
the community centre.
758
00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:30,360
There ARE people inside
looking suspicious.
759
00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:33,200
What about the coffee
and the sexual intercourse?
760
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:35,360
That's off. Look,
if this turns into a stakeout,
761
00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:37,320
I might give you
a quick handjob, all right?
762
00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:39,720
No promises, though.
Come on. Let's go.
763
00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:53,120
Oh, shit.
I think we're being followed.
764
00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:57,000
By who?
You see that black Vauxhall?
765
00:44:57,000 --> 00:44:59,560
It was there when we left
Windmill Hill.
766
00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:01,080
What do we do?
767
00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:03,440
Um... Er...
768
00:45:03,440 --> 00:45:05,240
Just, um, take a left.
769
00:45:07,240 --> 00:45:09,320
And-and go right, go right.
770
00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:22,600
Fuck! Fuck!
771
00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:26,000
Can you see who it is?
772
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:27,600
It's the police.
773
00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:29,040
Go.
774
00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:33,720
I just got a text from
Greg, saying,
775
00:45:33,720 --> 00:45:36,320
"Stop cooking crack,
Diane's on her way."
776
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:38,040
Oh, shit!
777
00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:43,720
Sweet Little Mystery
by Wet Wet Wet
778
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:50,720
Yeah, my own father. Sacked you?
779
00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:56,960
I had a mortgage,
kids' school fees, skiing,
780
00:45:56,960 --> 00:45:58,880
bollocks.
781
00:45:58,880 --> 00:46:03,840
You know, it's £800 a year
for horse riding insurance? £800.
782
00:46:03,840 --> 00:46:07,400
I mean, just don't crash
your horse, right? Mm.
783
00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:09,280
Doesn't your wife work?
784
00:46:10,600 --> 00:46:15,480
She makes and sells
vegan dog treats, so, no.
785
00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:21,280
What's funny?
786
00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:22,960
Vegan dog treats!
787
00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:25,320
You can have vegan dogs.
788
00:46:25,320 --> 00:46:29,280
I think I'm beginning
to understand your tale of woe.
789
00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:50,120
Hello?
Are you at the community centre?
790
00:46:50,120 --> 00:46:52,120
No. I had to pop out for a bit.
791
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:54,600
Pop out? Why are you popping out?
792
00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:56,160
I've left John in charge.
793
00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:58,200
Well, he isn't answering his phone,
794
00:46:58,200 --> 00:47:01,680
and Diane is on her way there,
so you have to get everyone out!
795
00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:03,680
I'm busy. Why can't you?!
796
00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:05,520
I'm in a police car chase!
797
00:47:05,520 --> 00:47:08,480
What did you say?!
I don't think I heard you right!
798
00:47:08,480 --> 00:47:11,120
I bet you wish you had 5G.
799
00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:13,360
Hello? Hello?!
800
00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:16,040
Why are you driving so slowly?!
Have you heard of second gear?!
801
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:18,440
A little kiddie might jump out.
Kiddie? It's night-time!
802
00:47:18,440 --> 00:47:20,680
You're doing about 8mph.
Speed kills.
803
00:47:22,720 --> 00:47:24,200
What are you doing?!
804
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:26,680
Don't wave him on.
Don't let him overtake you!
805
00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:28,720
Well, you know,
I'm just feeling generous.
806
00:47:28,720 --> 00:47:30,560
Oh, my God!
807
00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:33,440
Subject drives like my nan. Well,
you know, there's a lot of idiots on
808
00:47:33,440 --> 00:47:35,760
the road at this time of night.
You've got to be careful.
809
00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:37,880
Yeah, idiots like you.
Number one over here.
810
00:47:37,880 --> 00:47:40,520
She's going faster than we are.
With her stupid little scooter.
811
00:47:40,520 --> 00:47:43,040
Yeah, well, but that's reckless,
isn't it? Absolutely reckless.
812
00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:45,840
It's not reckless. Go through,
we're coming up to the lights.
That's good.
813
00:47:45,840 --> 00:47:48,240
Right, amber, go through on
the amber, go through on the amber!
814
00:47:48,240 --> 00:47:51,960
Well, you shouldn't go through on
the amber. No, cos it might change
to red. You see, there you go.
815
00:47:51,960 --> 00:47:54,280
You've got to be careful.
Oh, my God.
816
00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:56,960
What are you doing?
Where are you going?
817
00:47:56,960 --> 00:47:58,840
What are you up to? What's going on?
818
00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:02,240
I'm commandeering this vehicle for
volunteer police purposes.
819
00:48:02,240 --> 00:48:05,120
It's Haines.
We're following a black Range Rover.
820
00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:08,200
Yeah, I need you to run a plate
for me, please.
821
00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:10,880
They still there?
822
00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:15,080
Yeah. OK. What am I doing?
Where am I going?
823
00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:17,480
Rani, what now? They're behind us!
824
00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:20,880
Calm down! I'm trying to think!
Go right, go right!
825
00:48:26,400 --> 00:48:28,160
We need to lose them. Fuck!
826
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:31,440
The vehicle is leased to
a Christian Taylor.
827
00:48:31,440 --> 00:48:34,280
We need to overtake that lorry
there. Taylor's in prison.
828
00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:36,000
It's his car.
829
00:48:37,360 --> 00:48:39,320
Go, go, go!
830
00:48:44,160 --> 00:48:45,480
Wait for it.
831
00:48:48,240 --> 00:48:50,160
Now, pull off. Pull off!
832
00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:02,280
Where...where are they?
833
00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:06,680
Where are they? I can't see 'em.
834
00:49:08,840 --> 00:49:10,520
Shit!
835
00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:14,800
We have to find that Range.
836
00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:17,160
Whoever is driving that
is running Brook Hill.
837
00:49:31,800 --> 00:49:33,360
My heart's racing.
838
00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:37,760
That was incredible!
That was so cool!
839
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:42,800
Wait, Rani, wait!
That weren't cool.
840
00:49:42,800 --> 00:49:47,080
Yeah, it was.
We totally out-foxed them. So cool.
841
00:49:47,080 --> 00:49:49,120
Wait, wait, wait, wait! Yeah?
842
00:49:49,120 --> 00:49:50,760
Does this stuff turn you on?
843
00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:52,360
What stuff?
844
00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:53,640
You know...
845
00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:56,160
..car chases, the drug deals,
the gang shit.
846
00:49:57,880 --> 00:49:59,960
No, of course not.
847
00:49:59,960 --> 00:50:01,480
It doesn't. Just...
848
00:50:01,480 --> 00:50:04,040
It must be my adrenaline pumping.
849
00:50:10,560 --> 00:50:12,200
We need to get rid of this car.
850
00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:30,160
What...is going on?!
851
00:50:31,520 --> 00:50:34,960
Myrns. I'm a crack ho.
852
00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:36,720
What?!
853
00:50:36,720 --> 00:50:38,520
Diane is coming!
854
00:50:38,520 --> 00:50:40,480
We need to get out of here!
855
00:50:40,480 --> 00:50:43,760
Diane is on her way here!
856
00:50:43,760 --> 00:50:46,480
We need to pack up
and get out of here now!
857
00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:49,400
We need to pack up
and get out of here! Come on, move!
858
00:50:55,560 --> 00:50:57,120
I'm coming, Dad.
859
00:51:13,520 --> 00:51:16,120
What have we got here, then?
860
00:51:17,440 --> 00:51:19,280
Light on at the side of
the building.
861
00:51:19,280 --> 00:51:21,080
Moving to investigate.
862
00:51:21,080 --> 00:51:24,840
Hmm. Gate is unlocked.
Note to self.
863
00:51:24,840 --> 00:51:27,120
Diane.
What?
864
00:51:27,120 --> 00:51:29,240
I have to tell you something before
you go in there.
865
00:51:29,240 --> 00:51:31,560
Well, it'll have to wait.
No. It can't wait.
866
00:51:31,560 --> 00:51:34,400
I have to tell you it now.
The reason
867
00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:37,600
I was driving so slow earlier,
like your nan,
868
00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:39,480
is so that I could
869
00:51:39,480 --> 00:51:42,240
spend more time with you
870
00:51:42,240 --> 00:51:45,480
and enjoy your magical personality.
Yeah, makes sense.
871
00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:47,560
Yeah, but there's more.
872
00:51:50,040 --> 00:51:53,560
Diane Pemberley...I love you.
873
00:51:53,560 --> 00:51:55,840
Well, you're only human.
Yeah!
874
00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:07,200
Ahh!
875
00:52:08,680 --> 00:52:10,280
God...!
876
00:52:11,440 --> 00:52:15,080
I had to incapacitate subject, as
his libido became inflamed by his
877
00:52:15,080 --> 00:52:17,120
smoking-hot date.
878
00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:19,560
Heading inside to
investigate further.
879
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:21,720
What's in it?! What's in it?!
880
00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:25,440
I need a wet wipe!
881
00:52:27,800 --> 00:52:29,200
I am entering the premises.
882
00:52:59,080 --> 00:53:00,760
Diane?
883
00:53:00,760 --> 00:53:04,200
I can't drive you home,
cos I'm blind now.
884
00:53:10,160 --> 00:53:12,680
Christian is going to be so pissed.
885
00:53:12,680 --> 00:53:14,680
He only had six months
left on the lease.
886
00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:26,200
I'm going to get a tea,
do you want one?
887
00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:29,360
No.
888
00:53:44,040 --> 00:53:47,960
We swore we'd never be that couple
with nothing to say
889
00:53:47,960 --> 00:53:50,760
to each other. Remember?
890
00:53:50,760 --> 00:53:53,000
When we met,
891
00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:57,440
you taught ME the shuffle,
the backdrop.
892
00:53:58,600 --> 00:54:00,880
King and queen of the dance floor.
893
00:54:02,160 --> 00:54:04,120
We were a head-turning couple.
894
00:54:05,760 --> 00:54:07,640
Being busy is not
895
00:54:07,640 --> 00:54:10,840
the reason I didn't visit when you
got sick, Lou.
896
00:54:10,840 --> 00:54:14,800
It's cos I was in a pub,
getting high.
897
00:54:16,760 --> 00:54:18,400
Getting laid.
898
00:54:18,400 --> 00:54:20,040
Cos all of that was
899
00:54:20,040 --> 00:54:22,320
100 times easier than
facing you,
900
00:54:22,320 --> 00:54:24,560
cos facing you meant facing me,
901
00:54:24,560 --> 00:54:26,080
and I never could do that.
902
00:54:27,320 --> 00:54:31,920
I missed my chance
to say sorry...when it mattered.
903
00:54:35,840 --> 00:54:38,520
What the heck,
I'm going to say it now.
904
00:54:38,520 --> 00:54:40,320
Anyway, I'm sorry,
905
00:54:40,320 --> 00:54:44,440
I'm sorry you had
to put up with all the lies,
906
00:54:44,440 --> 00:54:47,480
then apologies, then more lies,
and...
907
00:54:48,880 --> 00:54:51,440
..I'm sorry for the things I did
when I was here
908
00:54:51,440 --> 00:54:53,840
and the things I didn't do
when I wasn't.
909
00:54:53,840 --> 00:54:55,600
And I'm sorry I didn't get
910
00:54:55,600 --> 00:54:57,520
to know our little girl earlier.
911
00:54:57,520 --> 00:55:00,360
You raised a
helluva woman without me, Lou.
912
00:55:01,480 --> 00:55:04,680
You know, I don't have
a pot to piss in.
913
00:55:06,040 --> 00:55:07,400
All I got to show
914
00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:10,400
for my time on this Earth
is what I walked out on.
915
00:55:11,760 --> 00:55:14,960
So, let's us - you and me...
916
00:55:16,520 --> 00:55:18,360
..remember the good times.
917
00:55:21,440 --> 00:55:24,000
We were king...
918
00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:27,360
..queen of the dance floor.
919
00:55:28,640 --> 00:55:30,000
We were...
920
00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:33,000
..a head-turning couple.
921
00:56:11,040 --> 00:56:13,240
Excuse me.
922
00:56:13,240 --> 00:56:14,640
Shoes off at the door, yeah?
923
00:56:19,080 --> 00:56:21,760
Those are not my dad's slippers,
are they?
924
00:56:21,760 --> 00:56:23,440
No. They're mine.
925
00:56:23,440 --> 00:56:25,720
He let me keep 'em.
926
00:56:25,720 --> 00:56:27,680
You don't have to wear them, though.
927
00:56:27,680 --> 00:56:29,680
Yeah, well,
they're kind of snuggly.
928
00:56:31,960 --> 00:56:34,760
Erm, do you really want kids?
929
00:56:34,760 --> 00:56:37,320
Yeah, don't you?
930
00:56:37,320 --> 00:56:39,280
We never spoke about it.
931
00:56:39,280 --> 00:56:40,920
I think we'd make great parents.
932
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:51,920
Get It 'Fore It's Gone
by Pokey LaFarge
933
00:57:11,440 --> 00:57:13,560
God!
934
00:57:31,040 --> 00:57:33,440
Ah, fuck it. Bedtime.
935
00:57:33,440 --> 00:57:35,680
I'm coming to bed!
70987
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