All language subtitles for mystere.a.saint-tropez.2021.french.720p.bluray.x264-ulysse

SAINT TROPEZ
August 1970

Claude, no way!

No. Would you?
Right, just a little.

Oh, no.
Daisy!

My hat, let's go to bed!

Cyril! Cyril!
-I'm coming, Baron!

Here it is!
-Aha!

Your mouldy Chinese tea, Mr Baron.

Stop it.
It's fermented tea!

Great for transit!

It even stimulates the gut flora!

Lemon juice without pulp,
toast with olive oil

and lukewarm rooibos tea.
Not hot!

Not so fast, I write.

How did you sleep, Andreas?
-Badly.

Really? -A restless night.

I caught a little actress
in the singer's arms.

Strange.
Peggy is with Norbert.

A beautiful couple,
a rarity in this business.

Two hours
in the sauna.

Is it deceiving?
He must be shocked.

Don't worry, Jacquot.
I know everything.

Down with the pretty one,
who does not threaten me in the least.

Modern thinking.
-We're in the 1970s.

Cars are our property,
not women.

Free love, of course.
Everybody has sex with everybody in the rain.

Great! Not for me!

If I had caught Eliane with another,
I would have killed him!

Don't be nervous, Claude.

Would you lend me a maserati?
-No.

Let Eliane lend you a Florida.

Don't touch the massager.
-Rev.

Why is this dog so aggressive?

It's not a dog, it's a bitch.

You don't know how to talk to her.
You don't like her.

You know why?
Because you're an asshole.

My beauty.
-She often bites.

It doesn't bite, you just make it nervous!

Come here, beautiful!

Take a look,
like a mini Queen of Sheba.

The only thing missing is the crown.
-Hi, mouse.

Don't speak so loudly,
my head hurts.

Life for two ...

Eliane? Who is it?

I'm showering!

Tony?

I am, dear.

No, Jacquot!
Are you crazy?

Claude can come back!

Claude chats over breakfast.

Stupid dog!

Get lost, you filthy pig!

Shit!

Shit.

Shit! Oh, no.

DRAMA IN SAINT TROPEZ

DrSi presents
SECRETS OF THE AZURE COAST

Police station

Love, is that really you?

State Secretary
The Minister for Finance.

Which one is it now?
-Chirac.

I would ask a favour, Mr Lefranc.

Surely you know,
who Baron Tranchant is?

I have no idea.
-Chimay beer!

The largest brewery
and distributor in Europe!

Claudine!
-Then call Mercier! -Now!

She's on holiday.
-She'll be back.

It is in America. -Then
Menard. -He's on holiday.

Depressed from the exhibition.

His wife left him for another.
-Baby.

Who is available?

Just Boulin.

Boulin and the disaster at the butcher's
Montorgueuil? -It is.

Boulin.

Boulin is here, sir.

Go ahead, Boulin.

I mean, this one ...

Sir.
-Glad to see you.

We don't know each other yet.

Me? Good.

I am ending the siege of Toulon.

What a genius, this Bonaparte.

I have an important task for you.

Do you know Baron Tranchant?
-The billionaire?

The private villa has
on Avenue Foch in Saint Tropez.

A disgusting environment.

What is it?
I'm not interested in opinions.

You are on slippery ground. Friend
with Secretary of State Chirac.

I will be brief. Mrs Tranchant
has received death threats.

Yesterday they sabotaged her
renault florida. -Is she dead?

She wasn't driving it.
The guest took the car.

Did he steal it?
It's a great environment.

Who stole what?
-Baroness's car.

Who said that?

The Baroness lent the car to a guest,
who had an accident.

I see, so the guy ...

What is it? -Dead.

No, he is not injured.
-Who would have thought!

Is the car wrecked?
It's a pity, it's gorgeous.

My wife ...
-Listen, my old man! Listen.

Let's get together.
-I can handle that.

Do you smoke? Too much.

Fool, your pocket is smoking!

Water! -Hot!

A radical solution.

Like this.
Water everywhere ...

That's it.

Here is the culprit.

The Baron demands a swift investigation.

His guests are stars.

And they don't want any disruption while on holiday.

Discreetly. - I see.

What do you think?
-Simple.

We snooze, wake them up at 5 a.m.
and check everything.

Let us hear them,
slap them if necessary.

The problem is solved within 48 hours,
and the culprit is found!

Similar to your affair
at the Montorgueuil butcher shop, no?

Yes, it wasn't a buzzard
a smart idea. A bit too ...

Boulin! On the contrary
I demand of you.

Is that clear, shithead?
-Absolutely.

This task will be a hit.

What are you looking at?-I'm fascinated by the picture.
It reminds me of Velazquez.

How evil is portrayed
of this offended woman, no?

This is my wife.

It's beautiful.

Really great.
I will justify your trust.

Goodbye, and a tribute to the old lady,
I mean your wife.

Oh, dear.
Don't be afraid.

In Saint-Tropez!

Claudine, double whisky.

Baron Tranchant?

Inspector Bourrin? -Boulin.

Jean Boulin.
Chief Investigator. Good.

Coming? -After you.

What a car!

Truly remarkable.
Let's go.

Inspector Bourrin?

Boulin! -Yes.

You are right, it is too small.

Like this, a smaller suitcase
in the boot,

large in the back seat.

Take a look. Oops.

I'll give it to you.
-It won't work.

Don't worry.

Like that, perfect.
-Sorry!

How will I drive?

Exactly.
-Why two huge suitcases?

The coat takes up a lot of space.

Coat?
August? In Saint-Tropez?

In Saint-Tropez, as everywhere.
-Pe.

What "pe"?
-Say Saint-Trope.

Not "pez". Z is silent.
-Aja?

Strange!
Because it's also called a trapeze

not traps,
if I am not mistaken.

As you wish.

But your giant bags
don't go in the car.

We'll put it on the roof.
-This is not a circus.

You will scratch my paint.
Take the bags

and place them inside.
My staff will be there.

Good. And take off the napkin.
It's grotesque.

I had forgotten about it.
What an asshole! What an ass!

Always smoke so much?
-After lunch, anyway.

The carriage was full of everything.

Sardines too.
I've tried them all.

Just 12.50 francs for everything.
It would be a shame not to take advantage.

Of course.
-Buttered croutons!

And sardines! It doesn't get any better than this.
But it's a tough food.

Why did we stop?
-Avto is here.

Which car?
-Sabotaged.

We could start here
your investigation.

G. Tranchant? -Yeah?

Let's clear it up right away.
I am leading the investigation, not you.

And I take such initiatives.
Am I clear?

Good.

Have you decided?
-I'm thinking.

Well, since we're here,
let's have a look at this Floridian.

There was no brake fluid.
Clearly sabotage.

It is authorised
Renault dealership? -No.

No, Mr Castelli maintains Jaguars
for 24 hours at Le Mans.

Jaguar is not Florida! Let's avoid
jumping to conclusions.

I will draw my own conclusions.
Okay?

Where is the vehicle?
Where is the vehicle?

It's right in front of your nose.
-Yes.

I'll have to let it go
and open the hawba.

The engine is at the rear.

I know, of course it is!
I investigate as I feel like it.

We are dealing with a serious ego.

I have never seen anything like it.

Inspector, are you OK?

Didn't you get hurt? -What a jerk
put a hole in half the garage?

The canal under the car is a classic.

Yes, but it's not wise!
It's not marked anywhere!

Oops, I noticed something important.
Well done, Boulin.

One screw is sticking out.
Not well fixed.

Let go, the oil screw is.
It will be everywhere.

Bravo!
-Check this out. Disgusting.

Or, a rag!
-You were right, Mr Baron.

I watch my head.
Everything points to sabotage.

I'm fine, I'm fine!
-Or!

Jaguar specialist or not,
I don't like this guy.

It is horribly dirty.

You don't get in my car like that!
-Why?

Look at your jacket.
It's greased.

Give it here.
-But be careful.

Don't worry, I'll be gentle with him.
-He's my favourite.

Like this. Now...
Show your bottom.

The buttocks, yes.

Oh my, you have to take off your trousers.

Are you kidding?
-No one will see you.

It's aperitif time. Let's go.
-How awkward.

Hold on tight! -Seveda.

Would you like my opinion?

The first suspect is my chef.

His wife wanted to dump him,
because he was inflating the bills.

A terrible mistake! From threatening
letters to attempted murder.

And now what?

I can't believe it!
He knocked me up!

Coffee and sardines
don't go together.

It's like having a stone in your stomach.

Do you have a blanket?
We need one for the seat.

Disgusting.

You will take your luggage
and go in the back.

He is looking at us.

Look who's here!

That's my fluff,
my Daisy.

Hi, Daisy.
-Of course, she's her own head.

Terribly intelligent.
-I guess small dogs are mean.

She's really nice.
-Have you stepped in poo?

No, it's oil.
-And that's fine. Let's go.

Are you coming?
-A puppy.

Cyril! Still working?

Is everything OK?
-Yes.

Cyril, this is Jean.

Our new servant.
Be so good

and clean the car,
because the gentleman vomited.

Scrub it well.
Otherwise the lady won't want to come in.

Because of the smell.
And take off your trousers.

Why? - Give them to Jean,
to introduce him to the lady.

To be decent. -And me?
-You will clean the car.

Even in your underpants, you can.
Take this. Shall we go?

But what now?
-Eliane!

I present to you
Chief Inspector Boumers.

No! -Chirac sent him.

Madam, I am Boulin.
Inspector Boulin.

I said.
-Did you bring a policeman?

It will ruin everyone's holiday.
-No, he will.

It will not be noticed by guests.
-I hope you're right, Kitten.

Yes, Kitten is calling me.
Let's keep this between us.

It's none of his business.

However, I would like to point out.
-Gospa, while I'm here,

I would like to ask you a few questions.

You see, the sea.

He is a professional.
-And a very difficult one at that. -Gospa!

Do you have any enemies?

Oy, you spoiled little brat!

Sorry, it hurts terribly.

As for the enemies ...

I don't have them.
-And someone ...

Who blames you? -I don't know. I am not guilty,
I lent my car to Jacquot.

Who is Jacquot?
-My best friend, I trust him.

We've known each other since we were little.

And you call him Jacquot?
-Yes, we all call him that.

Why?

What do you mean?
That's its name. It is what it is.

Oh, yes.

Could you show me
threatening letters?

I apologise.

Please read to me
No.

You will read them for yourself,
because they are ... -It is urgent.

I need to hear them because
the psychological profile of the author.

A possible killer.
Original, I know.

I have a raw instinct.
That's my method. -No!

The letters are full of nonsense,
insults, humiliation.

You will not read these letters.
-Mucek.

If this is the Bourrel method ...
-Boulin's.

I.
-Thank you, Madam.

I am listening to you. I'm listening.

Shall I start?
-Choose.

Good.

Yes, okay.

Beware, you disgusting bitch.

You will have no peace, you pile of dung.

Very banal.

Please excuse me.
I will be here.

Squeeze your fat ass,

when I reveal your
secret life.

Yes, good.

Madam,

have a secret life?
-What?

Wondering if it has
secret life? -Yes.

Stop upsetting her!

Kitten, please.
Cry for your picture.

Give.
-I love you.

I smell like sardines.

Go on, I am listening.

My ears alone.

A dirty emergency room,
you're out of your mind.

You can

P to all,
but in the end, you'll be Z.

This is not trivial at all.
-No.

Did he really write P and Z?

No, it's not!

The words are written, but
I am embarrassed to read them.

Madam, I need to hear these words.

Otherwise it doesn't make sense.
Excuse me.

Z. Z. -At the end ...

Do I need to draw you?
S for "fuck".

P is for "poof"!
-I can see that.

That's right. -Well, that's why!
-Res violently.

Even dirty. -Yes!
-It's hard.

It is difficult.
-How many of these have you got?

With the morning one, which is different,
because it's a drawing, 18. Here.

Not bad.

I beg your pardon?

Isn't that bad? -I think,
that dead nature in the middle of ...

The one in the middle.
-Cornelian. -That's right.

It is realistic.
Nice gestures.

Baronica, today a village
I will no longer disturb you.

You will not read 18 letters.
-No.

When you have time,
you can read me another one.

Do you think my wife will
read your letters every day?

I'd better get ready
for service. -Excellent.

Good.
Let me tell you,

not to worry.
I am here.

He sent me an idiot.
A complete idiot.

Children! -Yes?

Children!
-Yeah, yeah. Good.

Are you here? It's the holidays. May you
remind you of the key word.

During the holidays, let us ...
-Magical.

Louder. -Magical!

Joe arrives with his new girlfriend.

How happy I am!

Hi! How are you?

Bernard? -Yes, sir?
-Give the tray to Jean.

Thank you.
Holy cow!

Excuse me.

Never held a tray?

There are lots of glasses.
-Yes.

That's what the tray is for.
Here you go. Excuse me.

On your right,
a fat bearded man lying down.

Norbert, film producer.

With her new catch Peggy.
A promising young actress.

A big difference in years.
That's the environment.

No, offer them something.

I'll just take two.
It's more practical.

I like to help!
I just wanted to serve you!

Tray. Tray.
-Take the tray!

Of course.
-Yes. So...

The guy with the collar is Jacquot.

My best friend.
He had an accident.

Next to him is his
his wife Francine.

That young beauty is Ben,
Carmen's fiancé.

Best friend of the groom.
The great Carmen Moreno.

Everyone knows it.
-I don't. I've never heard of her.

Really?
Jeanne Moreau from Spain.

With more charisma,
more elan, more self-love.

I know Jeanne Moreau.
She is famous.

Don't mention it.
-Yeah? -Yeah.

He may resent you.
-Seveda.

Claude, look who's here!

Joe Jordan, I know him!

My wife loves his songs!

Joe Jordan! -My Claudio!

Joe! Joe! Joe!

Do you know Angela?
-Sorry, no. I'm glad to meet you.

I did it to Jonny.

Wonderful!

All right, I'll borrow it.
Come in.

This one is all the rage.
-What a sight!

Avoid this too.
-Really?

Let's move on.
The muscular guy in the pool is a sculptor.

The guy with the cap is Andreas.
Greek director.

Gaby, it pays to wear a swimsuit,
when they're so small?

Andreas!

Isn't the one with the beanie a bit of a shoo-shu?

What do you mean by "shushu"?

You are investigating an attempted murder.

Of course, it doesn't matter,
if it's "shoo-shoo".

Go.
-I'm coming with you.

You're not going swimming?
The water is great.

No, thank you, Gabriel.
I'm reading my script now.

I need to look deeper
into the conceptual identity of the character.

Delve deeper into what?
Just sleep.

Ben, you're wearing me out!
-Ben, you don't understand anything.

She has a revolutionary bottom!

We must break
this petty-bourgeois society!

You are right, Dede.
-Andreas!

That's my name!
Never Dede!

Dede is vulgar!
Bullshit!

See, Kitten? Claude!

It upsets people.

Me most of all, darling.
But now that she's here, we must be patient.

I warn you, if you go again
to Eliane, it's not going to be okay.

I will not be a fifth wheel.

What are you talking about, sweetheart?

I only see and love you.
-Don't lie, I'm not 17 years old.

If I see you together,
I will kill you both.

I took the gun.
-Francine, it's dangerous!

Madam, sir, port flip?

No, double pastis for him,
me, tonic.

Don't you feel hot with that around your neck?

It is not pleasant.
-That accident... Were you driving fast?

I know how to read constraints.
Your comments are ...

You haven't been drinking, have you?
-Is this a police interrogation?

Friends! Friends!

Lunch is ready.
Go and change.

Jean will bring you
drinks in your room.

Two minutes, dear.
I'm just going to jump once.

Mistress?

Take a little bit of this.

I want a dry swimsuit at lunch.
-Seveda.

When will we get the money
to start filming?

Eliane says she doesn't understand
the script and that it won't work like that.

What does this guy know?

My godmother is.
Do not insult her in front of me.

My little Ben. Benjamin.

That's none of your business.

Go out and smoke a joint.

Your porto flip,
you didn't take it by the pool.

How dare you say,
that the film will fail?

I was suggested Liz Taylor
for your part!

I refused,
because I want you!

And now this devil's
billionaire fool?

I'm telling you, I'm going to kill her!

Animal.

What is it, waiter?
-I said. Didn't you hear? No.

I'm wearing Mrs Moreno's port flip.

Really nice.
Thank you, Mr Nestor.

Jean.
-Is it a jojnt?

I don't.
-You don't? No.

Then fuck off!

Come on, hurry up!

Nothing is ready!
Quick! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!

Come on, Monique! Bernard!
Stand like God's ox!

I have to do it all myself!

What are you doing?

I have to eat something.
I've done it all in the morning.

Do you think I'm interested?
Take a tray and come with me!

Come on!

Swallow!
We don't chew when we serve!

I would recommend crabs

and currant dressing.

Mayonnaise with herbs
and chicken in sauce.

Jean, drink some water.
He will vomit.

Cyril, you realise,
that we have heard nothing?

If that asshole coughs after me!
-I apologise.

A small crumb stuck in my throat.
-I'll say more.

No, serve it, and we'll
find out for ourselves. Thank you, Cyril.

We will start with the host,
that's me.

Shit.

And one-eyed says to me:
"Give me back my eye!"

As if ... As if ...

Eliane?
You know your ex is here?

No.
-No? Well, here it is.

The show is coming,
which has been playing for 30 years.

Have a good run,
Righteous Ministers!

Dear Councillors!

Have you eaten?
-I don't want to run out for you.

Meals here are not plentiful.
A Belgian brewery tightens its belt.

Every year I carry you
for your sense of humour.

Thank you. -Mucek, don't start.
-No, he's starting.

It gets on my nerves.
-And it's been like this for 10 years.

It's true. -Mucek, give Yves
space and sit on the front.

Yeah? -Yes, it will be among the players,
we can debate.

You always get tired of it.

I don't mind talking to the players,
It's him. Thank you.

You must be an actress.

You are wonderful. -Thank you.

In Alain Delon's film
I was in. No!

He will join me here.
-I love him.

Although we often argued
over the same women.

Darling, would you like some cheese spread?

You know me. I love
Cyril's fritters. I know.

Cyril! Cyril!
-G. Yves!

Good afternoon.
-The one with cheese for me.

It seems fine.
-No, I don't have the balls.

How so?
-I can easily make cucumber cream.

I prefer sausages.

I'm kidding.
Give me some sausage.

This boy has not yet fully developed.
-He is not doing well.

Hats off, what a jerk!
A bastard!

I've got a bunch of eggs!
-It's true.

What's this cunt thinking ...
-Crook!

Why is the mistress a pussy?

It's down with everyone.
-With everyone?

Especially with Jacquot.
Every afternoon!

You say disgusting things.
-Yes?

Is the truth disgusting, Monique?
-Who would reveal it ...

Are you jealous?
-About what?

You are not.

The boss's ass-kisser.
Definitely.

I was on tour for four months.

Amazing places!
-Hat.

Thank you. It's a pity you didn't make it to Toulon.
-We don't like him. - Asshole.

I beg your pardon?
-Nothing. Excuse me.

Jean, never the rose!

I'm sorry, I wasn't warned.

It's really tiring.
Who is this guy?

An ex-wife.
It makes the Lord nervous.

Yes, they have a big argument.

And him? Cyril?

Like this.
No time for spices either.

I'm coming! Bitch!
-Don't worry, boss, I will.

Good. Salt flower
and a little olive oil.

I'm going to get new orders.
-I understand!

Like this.

Porkadush!

This is too much.

I'm scared for the sea.
How many species of urchins were there in 1947?

I wasn't born then.
-250 species!

Not anymore?
I would say two billion.

I'm talking about species, Peggy.
Not all ...

We couldn't count them.
-Jean!

Don't hear about hedgehogs,
but leave the tray out!

No! -Sorry.

My white velvet!
It cost a fortune!

Excuse me.
-Why? You bitch!

Double cunt!

Mouse, because of cholesterol
you can't eat that!

Daisy, come, little angel.
-What's going on?

In fact ...
The fish fell on the ground.

Because of the oil.
-Who did it fall on?

Jean, of course!

Asshole!

You want to ruin my lunch!

Asshole! Stop it!

Do something, separate them!
-No, I can't intervene now.

Calm down!

Please excuse me.
I've lost my mind.

He wants to destroy me.
Asshole!

Enough!
-It's starting again!

Let's forget that now.
-Sorry.

I grew up in an orphanage.

Since you hired me,

I consider you my parents.

I cannot sleep alone in the dark.
-No!

Stop it already, you crazy baldie!

Come.
We love you in spite of everything.

We love you very much.
-Thank you very much.

For kindness and sophistication.

Say goodbye to Jean.
How do we say?

It's the holidays, let's be magical!
-Yes, give each other a hug.

Please? -Hug.

Come on, let's hug.
-Sorry.

If you approach the kitchen,
I'll kill you. -Threaten me!

Cyril! Little boy.
-Enough!

Get up! -Grema.

We'll give him a pay cut.
-Seveda.

I am disappointed.

Monique!

Mr Delon called,
when I was taking a bath?

I would tell you.

Hello?
-Carmen, darling. Eliane here.

In 10 minutes in the sauna.

Valid! See you, dear.
-See you later.

Are you coming?
-I'm reading the script.

I have projects too.
-Excellent.

Carmen, I've been waiting for you for 10 minutes!

Excuse me!
My little Ben ...

It's getting boring again.

Find a lover like me.

You can't find one man,

to keep you entertained and safe.

You are amazing.

Gabriel? Gabriel?

Small swimsuit, big chick.
I'm sure she wants you.

Do you think? Why not.

What is it again?
-Look.

His mascara is smudged.
-How wicked she is.

Horror!
Delon's team blocked me.

Nobody wants to tie it on me.

Oh, no.
Laura, stop it, it's ridiculous.

My God, these young actresses.

Is she an actress?
Tell me quickly, dear.

I will take care of it.
We'll hang out another time.

Laura!

Eliane was watching you
all through lunch?

You're delusional.
He treats me the same way he treats everybody.

Who put it here?

Boss, I don't mind you
during the holidays?

I have work on top of my head.
I'm at a conference.

Why are you calling?
-I'm calling because ...

The investigation is progressing.
I have a couple of suspects.

I would have preferred it to be one.
Yes, boss.

The Baron is in the lead!

The kitten has horns.
That is his motive.

What kind of Kitten?
-Baron.

Does it know it has horns?
-He doesn't!

Where is the motive then? -How?
-How then does he have a motive?

Yes, you're right, boss.

Avoid such certainty.

Boss, someone's crawling in the garden
in a diving suit.

You are at sea.
Of course there are divers.

You are right. Good.

Who is the prime suspect,
if not the Baron?

Cap.
Who is the Hood?

Greek director.

The Baroness doesn't give him money
for the new film.

He said, "I will kill her!"
So emphatic.

So there you have it. He is.
-Not yet.

I want real proof.

Tell me about the chef.
-Weak motive.

Why do you think so?
They are well organised.

I know them,
I'm listening, boss.

Boulin, remain objective.

And you're not a communist?
-No, boss.

Look at this.

Person in diving suit
walking in a garden with a rake.

If you have a garden,
you must have a rake!

You are right.
-Maurice!

Rene and Mimine are already balling!
-Rev.

I have a job. Goodbye.
-Hello?

What a splitter.

Do you like my Indian?
-Indian?

I can't say it's nice.

Now that I know he is an Indian,
it's funny.

Is the Arc working?

Of course, everything is real.

Jean? Sir?

Come a little.

Baronica.
-Another anonymous letter.

Show me.

You'll whine, you'll pay the bill.
Tonight.

He will take action tonight.

Yes. Good news.

I beg your pardon?
-It's compressed, it's going to unfold.

Proof that my method is good.

Right, I'll resign
pirate night.

We'll hide in the hotel.
-No, no.

We won't hide
because of a letter!

Eddy and Joe would get upset.

You are right,
you must not change your plans.

Help! We're closed!

Hey! Hey! Hey!
Breathe, breathe!

Yes, breathe.
Swallow.

I will catch him tonight.
Don't worry, Kitten.

I will set up a think tank,
that will be talked about for a long time.

Either way, Pumpkin,

nothing to worry about.
I am armed.

Jacques is unconscious.
Help!

What's going on?
-I'm going to take a look.

Slowly. -How red it is.

Jacquot, slowly.

Breathe!
It's not red, it's brown.

Drink something.
Make an election. Slowly.

Claude!
-No longer so brown.

I don't understand what was wrong with the door.

And if they were stuck, Kitten?

Is Kitten calling you?
-Ask Eliane!

Why would it be stuck?
Stop it!

Hello? 00:48:01,270
Telephone.
What is it now?

I'm sorry if I'm wrong.

I have news.
Tonight, a crime will happen.

Are you sure? What now?
-Thinking cap.

During a pirate evening on the beach.
-What kind of buzzard?

Tonight it will be him or her
will try to kill the Baroness,

and I will prevent it.
Inevitable!

I will send the police to help.

I don't need cops!

They'll destroy my mousetrap!
I will take the risk.

I will catch the culprit,
otherwise the Baroness will be dead.

Are you kidding?
-Seveda!

A little humour
before a big operation.

Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?

Hello, boss.

Alain Delon?
Yes.

Am I talking to Alain Delon?

Is Laura Mancini there?
-Laura?

Italian actress.
-Would you like to talk to her? No.

Well, you don't want to talk to her.

Are you coming to Pirate Night?
No.

You will not come.

I will let Ms Laura know.

She will be disappointed.
Not your business!

It's none of my business, that's the way it is.

He put it down for me.

A bit rude.

Boulin! -Oi!

What do you do?
Everyone is waiting for you.

I thought to myself
to dress up as Mr Smee.

Good costume.
-No.

You will take your dogs to the need.
It will make a great costume.

Too bad, Mr Smee is great.

It has always seemed that way to me.

Captain, we are too far away.

We will get our costumes wet.
-Pull up your trousers.

It is barely 20 cm deep.

You're not going to jump, are you, Jacquot?

He has disappeared!
-Jacquot?

A man in the sea!

20 centimetres?
Fool!

Boulin!

Did you call them?
-No.

My boss.
As a reinforcement.

The perpetrator is afraid
will not be caught in a buzzard.

Let him be afraid.
I care about the buzzard.

Tell them to come closer.
It would be prudent.

Gentlemen, Chief Inspector Boulin.
I'm in charge of this operation.

Pick yourself up.
I already have a thinker.

I don't want obstacles.
-Let's go, guys.

And the van? -Roger will sort it out.
-Take the dog, I don't have time to wait.

This brings back memories.

He is stuck.

Slowly with the clutch.
-I know.

He's stuck!

Come on, come on!
-What's this bastard doing?

Come on, come on!

He's really stuck!
-Bravo, my old man!

What now?
-Where are the dogs? -They're scared.

They bit my trouser leg
and I let them go. -What?

Guys, let's get the shovels!

I didn't say,
to come closer?

Don't worry, it's the right time
for intervention is waiting.

Where are my dogs?
Where are they?

The bad news.
The two cops got bitten

and he let them go.
They will come when they smell the barbecue.

Find my dog, Boulin!
Daisy!

Blaise! Blaise! Blaise! Blaise! Blaise! Blaise! Blaise! Blaise! Blaise!

Daisy, forest!

Daisy!

Daisy!

Get out!

Daisy!
-He wasn't bad.

I'll let you have this.

I will pause.

Sauce and lots of cheese.

I haven't eaten all day.

Baroness! Oh, my!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No ... -Baronica!

I'm here!

The fool broke my watch!

Sorry, you raised your hand.
-What do you want, Jean?

I thought he was attacking you.

And what do you think now?
-No.

Actually, no.

Shall I get you a pancake?
-No.

Thank you, Jean.
-I thought ...

Not so fast, siren.

Stop following me.
-I will always be close.

Just in case.

Stand back.
Good.

I brought the dog,
because they eat everything in their turn.

I'll take Riva.
-Shall we squeeze on the other one?

Egoist. -You like to be
depressed? -A jerk.

Boulin!
Take Laura's tray.

Grilled mussels.
She's a little sad about Delon.

Delon, I completely forgot!

Mr. Laura?

Mr Lamarque sends you a tray.

Please excuse me. I forgot to tell you,
that I heard from Alain.

What? Alain? -Yes.

Alain Delon?
Did he say when he was coming?

I.
Or not.

It won't.

Excuse me. I'm sorry.

You are not to blame for anything, poor lady.
-Thank you.

Did he leave his phone?

No.
He said not to call him.

Don't be like that, miss.

You don't deserve it.
I spoke to him.

Hand on heart,
he's not very sympathetic.

I forbid you to be nasty
to speak ill of Alain! -Good.

What is it? -I've made a fool of myself.
-It's all right.

It's OK.
-What's going on? -Not that!

Watch out, it's loaded!
-I'll kill myself! -No!

The trigger is sensitive.
-The end is.

Calm down, kitty.

No! I'm bleeding!

Lamarque, help me!

Cyril!

What an evening.
I lost my dog.

I'm going to have a rest with Daisy.
Let no one disturb me.

No way. Good.

Come, the boat is sinking!

Mojbog, what an end to the evening.

He's swaying. -No worries,
You're just creeped out.

I have to go on stage in two days!

I am in pain.

Oh, no!
-The asshole is gone.

Oh, dear! Captain!

Get settled.

Make yourself at home,
but remember, you're with me!

What are you doing?
You have to serve pancakes!

The pancakes will wait,
to smoke.

What nonsense this is.

So that I can smoke in peace.

Halo?

Sorry, boss.
-Boulin!

Do you know what time it is?
It's urgent.

It's happening faster.

It's going faster. -What do you think,
it's going faster?

Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?

What a terrible sound is that?

Madeleine, you're snoring.
-Come out.

Maurice?

Are you with any chickens?
-My wife, you bastard!

You woke us up!

Maurice.

If those cops call,

don't believe them
everything, my friend.

What tone is that?

Are you drunk?

What are you doing here?
Roll back.

I'll call you in a few minutes, Momo.

I have to stop.
I love you.

Freedom!

That's not true!
What are you doing?

Excellent cake.
-Ampak ...

It's for tomorrow, you ignoramus!

Look!
-Jean, serve the cocktails.

We took the pancakes without you.
-Commiserate!

Jean is a pro!
Small pancakes.

Look! -Small ...

He's gone mad.
I'll get the cocktails.

Don't exaggerate. -You're all invited
to my concert tomorrow!

Hi! -Great!

Hi!

Beware. Jean.
Jean! Jean! Jean!

Jean, now that's enough!

Out!

He is not a slave.
Just choose.

Enjoy!
-That's right. Thank you, Pumpkin!

Now we're going to have fun!

Like this ...
-ATTENTION, BAD DOG

Claude!
Jean has gone mad.

I can feel the warm water on my thighs.

Because this shit is shitting!

Let's run!

Spectacular, don't touch it.
-We have to get it back.

No.
-He will choke on his tongue.

Just not the director!
-I told Claude,

that it is stupid to put a light
over water. But he ignores me.

We should have it all
under control!

Attempted murder,
and you didn't see anything!

Me! -What "me"?

Have you seen anything? -No.

Stand up.
Get off the sofa now, you'll get it wet.

I'm going to have to leave you, Harold.

No, we're not going to kiss.

No.
You know what I'm going to do?

I'll wake Chirac. Chirac!
-In Report

it's going to be bad.
-Heavy!

Oh, my nose!

You will wake me up
every hour, you faggot?

Chirac here.

Excuse me, Minister.

I thought the inspector ...
-He did shit at Tranchant!

A real festival of travesties!

Otherwise, he is very professional.

I warn you,
to sort this shit out.

24 hours you have. -24?
Shall I repeat?

No, it's more than I need.
-What a fool!

Yay, a light.

What is your name?
-Great little hatchling!

Testisi! -It startled him,
but superficially. -Super.

Speech will slowly return.

In the event of a crisis
give him 10 drops.

Excellent! -It will help him.
-Great puppy!

Baby, testicles, baby!
Hatchling!

Does this apply to a crisis?

Listen to the feeling.
-Good. -Ti! Tic!

It's getting better.
Don't worry.

His memory must return.
The Lord ...

Remember the moment,
when they urinated on you?

Bullet! Jacuzzi! -Maybe
won't be coming to soon.

Doctor, it will be over
two months?

We need to make a film.
-Baby, baby, baby!

I wouldn't say.
-Two months. What do I know.

Testisi!
-Let's be optimistic.

Can you help me?
Yves is lame.

Good news at last!
Yves is lame.

My dear, the doctor has arrived.

Good afternoon.
I had a stab in my back.

First.
-The carcass rusts in old age.

Give me your hand.
-Are you crazy?

I will give you anti-inflammatory medicine
and you will be able to move around.

A moment.
-I don't like it.

Look, croissants!

Warm, just the way you like them.
Come on!

It's much better.
-Wait, sir.

What fucking bullshit!

Give him two drops?
-He has already had them twice.

Give it a third time.

Testisi! -No!

Not croissants!

No, take him to his room!
Get him out of here!

Not the room!
-Good day, Lamarque.

Good day, Yves.

Good day, you are great!

What an asshole.
-It's nice to work with you.

Roberto, next time I would like to
something for the younger ones.

But not too much.
-We'll talk. -Botra!

Kisses. Coming to the salon?
-I promise.

I'm going to Paris for the casting.
I have to ask you something.

I would keep an eye on Carmen and Gabriel,
when I'm gone?

Of course, the heart.
Don't worry, they'll be in my house.

Thank you, Godmother. -Goodbye and
say hello to the Eiffel Tower!

Adieu, sweetheart!
Carmen!

Sir, there's someone at the door.
-I'm sorry.

Yes? -Lefranc, police.

Finally.
He had a good time last night.

He gave the guest a weapon.

She wanted to kill herself.

Why did you give her a weapon?
-She took it from me!

Because you were inappropriate!

No, she threw herself at my feet
and hugged me!

Of course, I can see that you
women throwing themselves at your feet.

Let's get back to you, Bourrel!

Boulin! Bourrel is
television character. He is not real.

We should be happy,
to be called Bourrel.

Completes investigations
and he is not a communist.

Neither am I.
-Good.

On behalf of France, I ask you,
forgive this incompetence.

I will take over the investigation.

Thank God.
-Going back to Paris?

No, you will continue to serve here.
-Why?

Absurd. He's not.
-I wouldn't want guests to worry

before the investigation is complete.
It will not take longer than 24 hours.

I will ask for a detour
the house and garden.

I would like to take note
the topography of the place.

Our room.
-It's nice. The colours... Look.

Ivory. Not very correct,
but Eliane loves it.

Do not touch.

Look at this miracle.
German taps.

German?
-The best. Cheap stuff ...

At first they are fine,
then they cost you a fortune.

I'm not that rich,
to buy cheap.

Agreed? -Yes.

That's why it's all in marble.

Similarly
to our house in Bormes.

Really?
-Laminate on the outside.

I don't know much about laminate.
-It's excellent.

Pick up cigarette butts in the garden.

They are everywhere. A disaster!
-That's what it sounds like.

Thank you.

Take a look.

My grandfather planted that pine forest.

He had golden hands.
Nice, isn't it?

Amazing.

Monaco can be seen in clear weather.

Shit.

Who was it?

Slowly, it hurts terribly!

Assassination.
Maybe they were aiming at me.

That's why I didn't want to,
to let anyone know who I was.

Come, let's take a walk
outside the estate.

Discreet.
I don't want them to eavesdrop.

I have to keep my cover,
that is the only solution.

This will solve the case.
-Note!

What is it?
Couldn't they mark it?

It is poorly placed.
It should be at the front. Let's move on.

We don't walk around like a cat
boiling porridge. This is how we will.

In 20 minutes we must
to gather everyone in the lounge.

All guests?
-All. I will hear everyone.

And with magic, the truth will be
will come to the surface.

The Boulin method!

Do you agree?
-Do I have a choice? No.

Let's go.
-Something worries me about the guests.

We have certain ...
Boulin?

Boulin?

I'm here.
-Are you hurt?

I was more scared.
-I'm coming for help!

No, no, don't leave me!

Give me your hand.
I'll crawl out.

I just have to get down.
-Yes?

Give me your hand!
Give it to me!

It's OK, just a first step.

Don't drag me!
-I will stand against the wall.

No, don't pull!
I'll fall!

Are you OK?
-Great smell!

I.
-I smell awful!

You have been unlucky,
you fell on an old rat.

I don't sniff.
-Really?

I smell you, but not me.

Me? Mr. Baron?

I've finished.
-What? -Yesterday.

I was stunned. - Really?
-I must have behaved stupidly.

What do I know.
-Look at the tap.

What is it?
-Hashish is in it.

No, but old tobacco.
-I beg your pardon?

And a great one.
-No, it's not tobacco.

I've been smoking a pipe since '62.
-I disagree with you.

Everything is fine with the tap.
-That's right.

Let's see. Take a look.
An ordinary tap.

Like this.
It's not a narcotic?

Unfortunately, it's just tobacco.

No way, no way!

What kind of tobacco?

Give it here!
Listen.

What tobacco.
-Yes, yes.

Res.
-Listen.

It is bitter and rough on the palate.

My throat almost hurts.
-Come here.

Try again.
-No, absolutely not.

The smoke is pleasant to the palate
and has a honey note.

What I love about tobacco.

No, no, absolutely not!

Come on, come on.

Excuse me.
We must hurry.

Guests are in the lounge.
-I'll be right there, I'm going to get the evidence.

I hope they are more convincing
than your old pipe.

Boulin!
A legendary butler!

Did they call you too?
What are these rakes?

You smell like hashish. Are you concerned now?
-Yeah, tell the Baron. He doesn't believe me.

You play beautifully.

Let's applaud the musician.

Come on, let's hear it.
-Does anyone know why we are here?

Except to listen to dear Claude,
destroying his fingernails.

Claude! Claude!
Enough of this crap!

I want to know why we are here.
-Friends.

Introducing Inspector Boulin
from the main police station.

Inspector?
-Yes, he came here

the killer of my Pumpkin is revealed.

The murderer of my Bush!

The murderer of my Pussy!

What's wrong with them?

Let's stay serious.
I called him here.

Jean, I leave you the floor.
-Thank you, Kitten.

The killer is among you.

And I will discover it.

You must be wondering,
what the rake will do to me.

Not at all, but put them away,
before you destroy the chandelier.

You're right, Pumpkin.
We must not destroy the evidence.

Yes, Francine! Yes, Jacquot!

Thanks to these rakes
they could not leave the sauna.

Where they wanted to be alone for a bit.

It's really ugly,

to you Jacquot
is cheating on your wife, Kitten.

He's gone completely mad!

Again?
-Traparia talk!

You see, he's not himself!
-Claude!

Love, don't listen to him!

Darling ... -You've got it!

A flask?
-Eliane, you hurt me.

And I forgive you,
because you're really attractive.

I want to make love to you.
-Later.

Later.
Let's get on with the more urgent.

The killer was holding a rake,
and they will tell their own tale.

Because what Boulin is looking for,
Boulin finds.

Bear's penis. Testicles!
-Enough. Little dick, big boy!

Enough, I can't concentrate.
-Give him the whole bottle.

Testisi! Testisi!
-Shut up!

He broke my decorations.

Let me take one exception.
To summarise.

Zev... Zevzam.

I'm sorry.

I will continue.

This is ...
Let me think.

The cap fell asleep.
-He's back.

His pipe smells of hashish.

No, no, it wasn't hashish.

It was old tobacco.
And it was good.

Good afternoon.
-Ticket for Paris, please.

54,90.

Thank you.

Peggy?
Telephone, your agent.

Hello? I'm here.
-Where are you?

It's OK, I have an alibi.

Instead of Paris
I'll wait for her at the concert.

Are you sure?
-Don't worry, love.

We're going to Hollywood
to shoot our film.

Yes, Olga, it seems to be an OK role.
I will not accept it.

I trust my Norbert.

He welcomes you.

Darling, would you really not go for it?
-No.

My head hurts.
The hashish is killing me.

It will be loud and tiring.

Kitten, I hate to leave you alone.

Right, whatever you like.
I'll take your car.

If you feel sick, rest.

Take care, my dear.

My God, Claude!
It smells like shrimp!

I know.
-Adia! -Adia!

Adieu, Claude!

Boulin! Boulin!

Boulin, wake up! Boulin!
-What is it?

My rifle is gone. I am afraid,
there'll be something at the concert. Quick!

Lend me your weapons.
-No.

I can't give you
service weapon.

No, we're going together.

Let's take this one. -This one?
-If you're going to throw up again.

It's easier, don't worry.

My car!
-Cyril, I'll borrow your car.

I will be careful.
-And fast!

Watch the clutch.

Come on, it's slow.

Wait, I don't know the car.

I haven't grabbed the bridle yet.
-We're pulling.

Step on the gas, faster!
-Faster!

You're not scared, are you?
Faster!

CROSSING PROHIBITED

We are close, the music is already playing.

Stop, stop!
-Left turn!

Turn!
You are not normal!

Why haven't you done anything ...

Stop, otherwise I'm shooting.
Put the gun down!

Turn around, you bastard!

It's over!

Ben! Ben! Ben!
Kitten, what are you doing?

Claude, what's going on?
-I've hurried.

Come, Kitten.

Shall we lock him in?
-Choose. He wanted to kill you.

Ben, how could you?

I didn't want to kill you.
You were bait.

I wanted to kill that bitch for
life insurance.

Insurance! Here's a motive!
I knew it!

It's too good,
to be honest.

Get him out of here! - Get him out!

What a monster.
-Thank you, Mr Moulin.

That's my job.
-I am delighted, Baroness.

We have avoided the worst.
And who saved the day?

Boulin! When under investigation
methodically from the beginning,

you always get results.
-Jean ...

Congratulations, my friend.

Hungry?
-I am a little, really.

Turn right.
We'll find a picnic area.

France is a beautiful country.
-It certainly is.

It doesn't get any better. -We've all got
some unfinished business.

Really?
We have caught the culprit.

But I saw the culprit walking away,
when I came to Tranchant.

Yes? -Half an hour later
and I was shot.

It was no accident,
It was an attempted murder.

Well, maybe I could come back.

No. No?
-He admitted everything except that.

And I believe him.

I ask you who shot me,
if it wasn't Ben?

Yeah, yeah.

Good question,
he's got an assistant on the loose.

I want you to find it
and bring it to me.

If we don't punish
attack on the police,

we are putting the whole Republic at risk.

All right?

I'll pour you another. - Excuse me?
-I'll pour you some. Just a little.

You have three days.
-Please?

For what?
-To find a helper.

Of course.

I will exterminate them like termites.
-I do.

Like termites.
-To put it nicely.

SECRETS OF THE AZURE COAST

Elian, shall we go to Portofino?

I dream of it, Claude.

I love you.
Come on, step on the gas.

Translation by BLITZ Film

TVRip Toyan
Edited by metalcamp

Technical processing
DrSi Partis