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1
00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:05,922
Judy: We tried to warn you.
2
00:00:06,005 --> 00:00:07,757
Hints. Bigger hints.
3
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:11,302
Company-wide e-mails that were
in fact directed only at you.
4
00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:13,513
We even paid for one of those
aggressively large blimps
5
00:00:13,596 --> 00:00:16,182
to fly over your house
for a week.
6
00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:20,353
But unfortunately,
it's come to this.
7
00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:22,564
You're...fired.
8
00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:26,484
Fired?
You can't be serious!
9
00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:28,820
I've given my nuts
to this company,
10
00:00:28,903 --> 00:00:29,946
literally.
11
00:00:30,029 --> 00:00:31,156
It's a long story.
12
00:00:31,239 --> 00:00:32,699
Does loyalty
count for nothing?
13
00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:34,993
For years, we had to show you
how to use the copier.
14
00:00:35,076 --> 00:00:36,995
Now we have to remind you
not to use it
15
00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:38,496
because we're
a green company.
16
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,623
You take forever
to complete a task,
17
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:44,377
then need an assistant to
transcribe it from carbon paper.
18
00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:47,088
But mostly...
it's the ass grabbing.
19
00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:48,715
It's a new day at
Sebben & Sebben
20
00:00:48,798 --> 00:00:51,384
where asses can be
lightly fantasized about
21
00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:53,219
but no longer grabbed.
22
00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:56,473
This is the hardest thing
I have ever had to do,
23
00:00:56,556 --> 00:01:00,351
but we both know it's time.
24
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:05,482
[ Melancholy music plays ]
25
00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:16,159
♪♪
26
00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:26,795
♪♪
27
00:01:26,878 --> 00:01:37,263
♪♪
28
00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:40,099
Judy: No! No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no!
29
00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:42,060
I take it back!
You're not fired!
30
00:01:42,143 --> 00:01:43,353
[ Bell rings ]
31
00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:45,647
Well, you got all the way to
the townhouse,
32
00:01:45,730 --> 00:01:47,440
so that's good.
Damn.
33
00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:49,025
Really thought
I had it this time.
34
00:01:49,108 --> 00:01:50,276
You can't pretend fire him.
35
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:52,487
How are you gonna
real fire anyone else?
36
00:01:52,570 --> 00:01:54,656
By pretending
I'm pretend firing them.
37
00:01:54,739 --> 00:01:55,865
[ Gasps ]
38
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,116
[ Coughing ]
39
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,660
[ Grunts ]
40
00:01:58,743 --> 00:01:59,994
Goddamn it, Judy.
41
00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:03,289
I was fine until
he microwaved the chili.
42
00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:05,959
That was just too sad.
43
00:02:06,042 --> 00:02:08,503
What?
I do that every night.
44
00:02:08,586 --> 00:02:10,880
Go through
a lot of microwaves.
45
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,507
♪ Hey! ♪
46
00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:14,175
[ Rapping ] ♪ Who's the girl
that saves the world? ♪
47
00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:15,552
♪ Hey! ♪
48
00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:16,886
[ Rapping ] ♪ Oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God ♪
49
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,930
[ Imitating fanfare ] Birdgirl!
50
00:02:19,013 --> 00:02:21,641
CEOs need to be able
to fire people.
51
00:02:21,724 --> 00:02:24,143
It was your father's favorite
part of the job.
52
00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:27,313
But I don't see Sebben & Sebben
as a company.
53
00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:30,900
That's a good sign.
I see it as a steward.
54
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:34,237
We give thousands of
employees a reason
55
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:35,738
to get up in the morning,
56
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:38,408
or at least tire them out
so they don't have the energy
57
00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:40,994
to get swept up
in global conspiracy theories.
58
00:02:41,077 --> 00:02:42,370
Wah, wah, bullshit.
59
00:02:42,453 --> 00:02:44,914
I'm serious.
You can't swing a cat
60
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:47,625
without hitting an employee
that needs to get shit-canned.
61
00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:50,295
We're not in preschool.
This isn't a play date.
62
00:02:50,378 --> 00:02:52,422
You and I aren't wearing
performance tights,
63
00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:53,756
grabbing iced-blendeds,
64
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,800
flirting with the barista
with the nose hoop
65
00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:57,802
then racing to pick up
our fourth grader.
66
00:02:57,886 --> 00:03:00,847
We need you to a real-life
fire someone.
67
00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:02,265
Can you do it?
68
00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:04,183
Sure...
Who?
69
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:06,936
Someone who has spent most
of their billable hours
70
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,022
chinwagging
in the break room.
71
00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:11,482
I had no idea
it did that.
72
00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:12,942
You can't see both ways,
right?
73
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,194
You got to fire her.
74
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:18,615
Jessica from accounting.
75
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:20,158
Yeah, I can't fire her.
76
00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:21,451
Give me one good reason.
77
00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:25,038
Lots of reasons,
including but not limited to
78
00:03:25,121 --> 00:03:26,623
she's the office
candy person.
79
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:29,250
Her Thursday candy dish
is legendary.
80
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:32,587
She never forgets a birthday.
She cares about birthdays.
81
00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:34,088
Did I mention
the candy thing?
82
00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:36,591
It's the only reason some people
come out of their cubes.
83
00:03:36,674 --> 00:03:40,261
You are totally ball-less,
and I know where of I speak.
84
00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:41,512
Again, long story.
85
00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:44,140
Rip the Band-Aid-brand
adhesive off, Judy.
86
00:03:44,223 --> 00:03:45,892
Without Jessica,
there wouldn't be
87
00:03:45,975 --> 00:03:47,727
Band-Aids
in the first aid kit!
88
00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:48,895
That settles it.
89
00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:51,356
We got to get you
in the S.I.M.M.
90
00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:54,108
Hey, did you guys
see a curtain close?
91
00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:55,693
[ Cat yowls ]
92
00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:58,321
Your dad's
secret second office.
93
00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:01,449
You could look for a thousand
years and never find it.
94
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:05,954
Part inner sanctum,
part tickle dungeon.
95
00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:07,455
All man.
96
00:04:07,538 --> 00:04:10,083
He was never less at leisure
97
00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:13,002
than when at leisure,
or less alone
98
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,629
than went alone.
99
00:04:14,712 --> 00:04:17,298
The S.I.M.M. -- your dad
built it in the '80s
100
00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:20,593
so he had a place to work out
his CEO conundrums.
101
00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:23,471
Every possible
corporate scenario program
102
00:04:23,554 --> 00:04:25,139
for bosses to practice on.
103
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:28,643
This baby's going to
make you a killer CEO, Judy.
104
00:04:28,726 --> 00:04:29,978
S.I.M.M.:
Welcome to the S.I.M.M.
105
00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:31,938
Juice up
and bag your sacks.
106
00:04:32,021 --> 00:04:33,231
It's CEO time.
107
00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:35,316
You know who got next
when Phil played?
108
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,359
Nobody.
109
00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:38,361
Your dad fucking owned
this game.
110
00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:40,321
Continue your last game,
PKS?
111
00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:42,699
Steno #3
was taking dictation.
112
00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:43,992
What's she doing?
113
00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:45,451
Uh, a new game.
114
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:48,037
No, this is the game
my father played.
115
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:49,580
I'm going to play it, too,
116
00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,666
and I'm going to
beat his ass.
117
00:04:51,749 --> 00:04:55,211
I did not order a floating,
spinning moon lamp in teal.
118
00:04:55,294 --> 00:04:59,298
I ordered a faux gelatin
fruit salad lamp in tangerine.
119
00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:02,468
Yes?
I got to go do some exec
training for a few hours.
120
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:03,886
Mind taking over for me?
121
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,763
[ Laughs ]
Wow. Really?
122
00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:07,390
"'Mind taking' over for me?"
123
00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:09,892
To a Mind Taker?
That's what you say?
124
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:12,228
Oh, my God, Mere, I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to --
125
00:05:12,311 --> 00:05:14,063
I'm shitting you!
126
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:16,899
But don't say it again also.
127
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,276
Okay then.
128
00:05:18,359 --> 00:05:19,861
Since I'll technically
be incapacitated,
129
00:05:19,944 --> 00:05:22,071
I need to cede
proprietary rights to someone.
130
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:25,408
You will be CEO pro temp.
Sign here, here, and here.
131
00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:27,910
Nope. Unh-unh.
Not that again.
132
00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:29,871
Give Bith to some
other sucker.
133
00:05:29,954 --> 00:05:31,039
Meeere.
134
00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:33,583
You're the only sucker
I trust.
135
00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:35,585
[ Engine starts ]
136
00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:37,587
[ Engine revving ]
137
00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:39,797
S.I.M.M.:
Welcome to the S.I.M.M.
138
00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:41,883
Let's pick your avatar.
139
00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:44,260
Not a lot of ladies.
140
00:05:44,343 --> 00:05:46,012
When this rig was built,
the only thing
141
00:05:46,095 --> 00:05:48,765
women were good for was...
142
00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:51,809
Uh, we'll --
we'll create a new one.
143
00:05:51,893 --> 00:05:54,937
Alright.
[ Clears throat ]
144
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,023
Alright.
145
00:05:57,106 --> 00:05:59,150
Okay.
146
00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:01,194
Brent?
The name Brent...
147
00:06:01,277 --> 00:06:03,529
[ Siren wails ]
...has been
formulated for success
148
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:05,114
by the simulator.
149
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:06,616
And life.
150
00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:09,327
[ Elevator dings ]
151
00:06:09,410 --> 00:06:11,412
Speak into the mic.
Yeah.
152
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,456
[ Clears throat ]
Everyone.
153
00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:14,874
[ Brent's voice ] Excuse me.
154
00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:17,960
I-I know you're busy,
but may I have a moment?
155
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,295
I know you're busy.
156
00:06:19,378 --> 00:06:21,798
[ Health bar chiming ]
157
00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:22,965
[ Groans ]
158
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:26,469
Let's try this to get you
into character.
159
00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:29,305
Attention,
ladies and...perverts.
160
00:06:29,388 --> 00:06:30,556
Ugh.
You're losing them.
161
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,141
Just go with it.
Feel it.
162
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,894
Whoo!
Somebody got laid last night.
163
00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:36,813
Slap some ass!
164
00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,940
[ Squeals ]
My God, the breasts,
165
00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:40,316
the breasts!
166
00:06:40,399 --> 00:06:41,901
Talking to her, Lance,
not you.
167
00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:43,444
[ Normal voice ]
Although yours ain't bad.
168
00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,321
Hi-yooo!
169
00:06:45,404 --> 00:06:49,325
[ Brent's voice ]
You've got great tits, Lance.
170
00:06:49,408 --> 00:06:51,619
S.I.M.M.: Key to
the executive men's room.
171
00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:53,496
[ Normal voice ]
1,000 points!
172
00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:56,082
And...ethically ambiguous.
173
00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:59,168
Judy has handed me
the reins again.
174
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,963
I don't want any flack, guff,
bullshit, or static from you.
175
00:07:02,046 --> 00:07:03,673
Open the door
and leave me be.
176
00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:05,424
It's my own
poisoned chalice.
177
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:07,844
[ Clears throat ]
I have no plans to question,
178
00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:09,512
impede, hamper, or obstruct
179
00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:12,473
your constitutionally
mandated responsibilities.
180
00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:14,684
Besides, I have to run
some errands for Judy
181
00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:17,645
then take
my three-minute lunch.
[ Door buzzes ]
182
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,026
Ahh.
183
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,444
I've catalogued every item...
There you are!
184
00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:27,530
...in this office
and know the exact location,
185
00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:28,739
condition, and scent.
186
00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:31,159
If anything changes,
I shall know.
187
00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:32,535
Sit anywhere you like.
188
00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:33,536
Not there.
189
00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:34,871
Or there.
190
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:35,955
Mnh-mnh.
191
00:07:36,038 --> 00:07:37,832
Nope.
192
00:07:37,915 --> 00:07:39,250
To the left.
193
00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:48,259
Alright.
194
00:07:49,343 --> 00:07:52,221
Bweeeoooo!
195
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:55,683
Huh?
So you're not all powerful.
196
00:07:58,644 --> 00:08:00,938
You really shouldn't.
197
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:11,240
You got a sec?
198
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,576
Nah, kind of busy.
199
00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:15,995
I knew it!
She did want to fire her!
200
00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:17,788
She just didn't have
the guts.
201
00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:20,082
Come on, you.
202
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,584
Please.
203
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:23,586
[ Engine revving ]
204
00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:25,254
[ Shouting ]
She's actually in there?
205
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,131
[ Shouting ]
Scenario 9!
206
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:28,591
And she's not doing bad.
207
00:08:28,674 --> 00:08:30,343
Judy: [ Brent's voice ]
Grab ass, slap ass.
208
00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:31,802
Grab and slap ass.
[ Women squealing ]
209
00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:33,971
[ Normal voice ] Sorry, Barb.
It's all pretend.
210
00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:36,432
What's Scenario 9?
211
00:08:36,515 --> 00:08:38,267
Mergers and acquisitions.
[ Slapping, women squealing ]
212
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:39,602
[ Brent's voice ]
Grab and slap ass.
213
00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:41,812
Look, uh,
she's tied up in there,
214
00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:43,814
and we're adults,
you and me.
215
00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:45,316
What say we,
meaning you,
216
00:08:45,399 --> 00:08:47,276
take care of
the little pest ourselves?
217
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,986
If it were up to me,
the candy dish alone
218
00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:50,863
would be grounds
for termination.
219
00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:54,116
But it seemed important
to Judy.
220
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,409
We should
check with her first.
221
00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:57,620
No! You must never
disturb someone
222
00:08:57,703 --> 00:08:58,788
while they're S.I.M.M.'ing.
223
00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:00,373
We barged in
on her dad once
224
00:09:00,456 --> 00:09:01,999
and he pissed blood
for a week.
225
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:04,252
Want to see pics?
[ Sighs ] Fine.
226
00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:05,294
I'll do it.
227
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:06,671
But first I want to confirm
228
00:09:06,754 --> 00:09:08,756
that Jessica really
doesn't do anything all day.
229
00:09:08,839 --> 00:09:10,800
How do we do that?
230
00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:13,094
Right.
I'm security.
231
00:09:15,012 --> 00:09:17,974
What are you going to do now,
JFrom?
232
00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:23,145
♪♪
233
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,398
[ Telephone ringing ]
234
00:09:28,359 --> 00:09:30,069
Everyone's candy sick!
235
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:33,155
[ Grunting ]
What about your jobs?!
236
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,323
[ Grunts ]
237
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:37,118
The candy bowl.
It's laughing at me.
238
00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:39,620
[ Evil laughter ]
239
00:09:39,704 --> 00:09:41,831
[ Sobs ]
240
00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:43,666
Oh.
241
00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:45,376
I'm so sorry.
242
00:09:45,459 --> 00:09:46,836
Judy: [ Brent's voice ]
So get this, I'm in this little
243
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:49,171
Judy costume, but, you know,
as a 30-year-old
244
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:51,674
and I have this
ridiculous kid voice on,
245
00:09:51,757 --> 00:09:54,677
and I'm telling him
that he didn't kill his parents,
246
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:55,678
I did!
247
00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:56,971
[ Normal voice ] [ Laughs ]
248
00:09:57,054 --> 00:09:58,597
[ Brent's voice ]
What's my favorite color?
249
00:09:58,681 --> 00:09:59,682
Co-workers: Flesh!
250
00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:01,017
S.I.M.M.: Congratulations.
251
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:04,186
You've reached level 42,
the Boss Stage.
252
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,564
Juice up and bag your gas.
253
00:10:06,647 --> 00:10:08,858
It's time to fire someone.
254
00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:10,526
[ Normal voice ] [ Groans ]
255
00:10:10,609 --> 00:10:12,111
[ Brent's voice ] Hey, Tom.
256
00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:13,696
B-B-B-B-B-Dog!
257
00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:16,615
Uh, we need to talk.
258
00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:17,783
Want a piece of candy?
259
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,160
[ Normal voice ]
Ouch. Candy.
260
00:10:19,243 --> 00:10:20,620
Hot button.
[ Inhales deeply ]
261
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:22,455
[ Brent's voice ]
You can do this, Judy, come on.
262
00:10:22,538 --> 00:10:23,706
Who's Judy?
263
00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:25,374
Tom.
264
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:26,709
I-It's just not --
265
00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:28,377
We're going to have to...
266
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,463
let you...
[ Groans ]
267
00:10:30,546 --> 00:10:33,215
Did I tell you
I just had a baby?
268
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,759
S.I.M.M.: Promotion denied.
269
00:10:34,842 --> 00:10:36,594
Again.
270
00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:41,223
[ Breathing heavily ]
271
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:43,309
Painting her nails
at her desk
272
00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:44,935
and making a birthday card
273
00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:46,437
with a pop-up thingy!
274
00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:48,397
Ka-thwacking
the toilet seat cover
275
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,024
to make sure it's working!
276
00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:52,151
Uh, are you okay?
277
00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:53,903
I'm better than okay.
278
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:55,237
I got my man,
279
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:57,531
and she has got to go.
280
00:10:57,615 --> 00:11:00,326
Gillian!
281
00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:01,369
Jessica!
282
00:11:01,452 --> 00:11:02,703
So nice to see y--
283
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,080
So you want to hear about
Frank's divorce
284
00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:05,581
or Dana's gambling problem?
285
00:11:05,664 --> 00:11:06,999
...you.
You're fired.
286
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:10,252
[ Chuckles ] Excuse
my eager friend here, but...
287
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:11,253
[ Door opens ]
288
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:12,588
You're fired.
289
00:11:12,671 --> 00:11:14,924
Since the dog's
out of the bag,
290
00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:16,342
as no one says,
291
00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:19,595
uh, you are indeed fired.
292
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:25,935
Oh, I get it.
293
00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:27,269
You're "firing" me?
294
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:28,437
You almost got me.
295
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:29,939
Oh, and I saved you
a Zagnut
296
00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:31,315
before the little elves
get their hands on it.
297
00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:34,777
The level of denial's
unbelievable!
298
00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:36,112
You're really fired.
299
00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:37,655
I hope
you don't mind taking...
300
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:39,198
Don't do that.
...advice.
301
00:11:39,281 --> 00:11:41,367
But you're new at this,
so I'll do you a huge favor
302
00:11:41,450 --> 00:11:42,952
and allow you to undo
what's going to be
303
00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:44,954
the biggest mistake
of your life!
304
00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:47,081
I'm confused.
Are you threatening me?
305
00:11:47,164 --> 00:11:49,208
She's threatening you.
And she's fired.
306
00:11:49,291 --> 00:11:52,378
Lick your lips.
Do you know who I am?
307
00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:55,297
Do you know what I can do
to this company?
308
00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:57,633
Ooh, ouch.
I think we'll survive
309
00:11:57,716 --> 00:11:59,468
without Mallomar Mondays.
310
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:02,430
It isn't just marshmallow
holding this company together.
311
00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:04,974
You'll see.
You'll all see!
312
00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:08,144
Two's "both,"
three or more's "all."
313
00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:09,979
[ Whispers indistinctly ]
No.
314
00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:12,064
No, not the fireballs.
315
00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:16,402
[ Siren blaring ]
She's taking away
the atomic fireballs!
316
00:12:16,485 --> 00:12:18,320
Announcer: We are aware of
the candy situation
317
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,322
and are working diligently
to address it.
318
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:24,452
Please return to your offices
and await further instructions.
319
00:12:24,535 --> 00:12:26,537
[ Engine revving ]
320
00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:28,831
Judy: [ Brent's voice ] Oh, wow,
it's a quarter to Brent,
321
00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:32,710
which means it's party time!
322
00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:36,213
Oh, my God.
The candy is disappearing.
323
00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:39,842
But Candy's our reward
for a job well done.
324
00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:41,385
[ Normal voice ]
The importance of candy
325
00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:44,013
in an office setting
can't be overestimated.
326
00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:46,390
[ Siren Blaring ]
Jesus, Brad,
keep it in your pa--
327
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:51,479
Well, everyone,
it seems Jessica did everything
328
00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:53,689
that powers
an office ecosystem.
329
00:12:53,772 --> 00:12:55,232
Besides issuing paychecks,
330
00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:57,943
she wrote the passy-aggressy
notes about dishes
331
00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:00,279
in the sink,
planned baby showers.
332
00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:02,698
She even rolled Carl
for bedsores.
333
00:13:02,781 --> 00:13:04,867
And...
[ Electricity powers down ]
334
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:07,495
...seems powered
the entire building
335
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:10,039
with her under-desk
exercycle.
336
00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:11,123
Beautiful.
337
00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:12,875
You've been tailing her
for six days
338
00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:14,543
and this is news to you?
339
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,545
I got a lot on my plate.
340
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,756
We're going to have to
fill in for her, people.
341
00:13:18,839 --> 00:13:20,216
Payday's coming up.
342
00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:22,927
Paul, can you cover
the social fabric nonsense?
343
00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:24,720
I am
but a humble seamstress.
344
00:13:24,803 --> 00:13:27,097
And can you roll Carl
for bedsores?
345
00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:30,267
Am I authorized to hire a hot
but competent nursing staff
346
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:32,478
and collect some
fecal samples from him?
347
00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:34,021
Get out.
348
00:13:34,104 --> 00:13:35,564
[ Workers screaming ]
349
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:38,025
Judy: [ Brent's voice ]
Is this another boss level?
350
00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:40,194
Brent, thank God.
What should we do?
351
00:13:40,277 --> 00:13:41,612
Slap my ass a couple times.
352
00:13:41,695 --> 00:13:42,947
That always helps him think.
353
00:13:43,030 --> 00:13:45,241
[ Normal voice ] Look,
I think it might be time
354
00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:47,660
for me to go back
where I came from.
355
00:13:47,743 --> 00:13:48,911
[ Brent's voice ]
I'm not like you.
356
00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:50,329
-Kill Brent.
-Candy.
357
00:13:50,412 --> 00:13:52,456
[ Normal voice ] Oh, boy.
Let's go while we still can.
358
00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:54,917
I don't want to die
in a drape suit!
359
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,044
S.I.M.M.: Key to the executive
men's room!
360
00:13:57,127 --> 00:14:00,422
Co-workers:
Kill Brent. Kill Brent.
361
00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:08,013
[ Exercycle cranking ]
362
00:14:11,308 --> 00:14:12,893
Dog with Bucket Hat:
Here we go.
363
00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:14,436
Is it her "Glee" fanfic?
364
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:18,566
Yes, and every paycheck
she ever earned at this place,
365
00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:21,527
she hasn't cashed
a single one,
366
00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:23,445
and she's been here
10 years.
367
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:26,907
The second she decides to cash
the checks, we go bankrupt.
368
00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:28,784
[ Electricity powers down ]
369
00:14:28,867 --> 00:14:30,452
[ Exercycle cranking ]
370
00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:31,662
[ Cellphone rings ]
371
00:14:31,745 --> 00:14:32,871
Merlot?
372
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:34,290
Did Jessica say
where she was going
373
00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:36,208
when she stormed out?
She did mutter something
374
00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:39,670
about the Affiliated Bookkeepers
and Accountants Credit Union.
375
00:14:39,753 --> 00:14:42,214
Good fuck. Looks like
I'm going to Assburg.
376
00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:43,340
We have to get Judy.
377
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:45,426
Oh, she's still in
the S.I.M.M.
378
00:14:45,509 --> 00:14:47,219
[ Engine revving ]
379
00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:49,179
Judy: [ Brent's voice ]
Uh, what's going on?
380
00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:52,266
You suck at --
at firing people!
381
00:14:52,349 --> 00:14:53,684
[ Normal voice ]
I've heard that before.
382
00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:54,977
The game is winning,
and --
383
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:56,687
and the only way
to stop it is to
384
00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:58,480
shit-can some employees!
385
00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:00,816
S.I.M.M.:
Level 27 -- Club Seb.
386
00:15:00,899 --> 00:15:03,652
Enjoy.
387
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:06,030
Judy: [ Brent's Voice ]
This is how guys vacation?
388
00:15:06,113 --> 00:15:08,490
Mere and I went to
the Smithsonian last year.
389
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:10,159
Ooh-ooh.
Some baby oil
390
00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:11,910
for those rough spots,
baby?
391
00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:13,037
Okay?
392
00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:14,538
Things seem fine in here.
393
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:16,332
We're executives, okay?
394
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:18,500
Look, nothing can
touch us in here.
395
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:21,253
[ Screams ]
396
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:23,756
S.I.M.M.: Hostile takeover.
397
00:15:23,839 --> 00:15:26,175
[ 8-bit music plays ]
398
00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:30,638
♪♪
399
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:32,806
[ Normal voice ]
Can I go home now?
400
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:37,478
♪♪
401
00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:44,026
There's something wrong
with the S.I.M.M.
402
00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:45,152
Evie: How can you tell?
403
00:15:45,235 --> 00:15:47,613
Hysterical strength!
404
00:15:47,696 --> 00:15:49,740
Oh, my God, Jude!
You okay?
405
00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:51,325
[ Gasps ] She's gone!
406
00:15:51,408 --> 00:15:52,951
S.I.M.M.: Bounce your bongos!
407
00:15:54,244 --> 00:15:56,538
Jude's trapped in there.
We've got to go after her.
408
00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:58,207
And that's all
the exposition you need.
409
00:15:58,290 --> 00:16:00,417
Uh, before we go in,
you should know
410
00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:03,420
this is no place
for a Fourth Wave feminist.
411
00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:06,006
Now let's go slap some ass.
412
00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:08,217
S.I.M.M.:
Welcome to the S.I.M.M.
413
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:10,886
Yeah, I don't think so.
414
00:16:10,969 --> 00:16:13,806
[ Elevator dings ]
415
00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:15,849
Shake your cakes!
[ Woman squeals ]
416
00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:17,810
Climb the corporate ladder.
417
00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:20,145
Big swinging dick!
418
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:22,272
[ Growls nervously ]
419
00:16:23,732 --> 00:16:25,150
[ Cellphone vibrates ]
420
00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:27,653
Yeah,
we got a problem here.
421
00:16:27,736 --> 00:16:29,154
You got several.
422
00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:31,240
Jessica over loudspeaker:
Good people of Sebben & Sebben.
423
00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:32,574
What's she doing?
424
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:35,119
Friends, candy lovers,
co-workers,
425
00:16:35,202 --> 00:16:38,163
if you have ever enjoyed
one of my delectable treats,
426
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,456
do as I ask.
427
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:41,542
Please walk to
the south corner
428
00:16:41,625 --> 00:16:44,044
of your office.
429
00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:45,921
Wait.
430
00:16:46,004 --> 00:16:47,589
She's tipping the building.
431
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:50,592
She's using candy coercion
to tip us over!
432
00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:52,136
Help!
433
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:56,807
I am mistaken, I am.
434
00:16:56,890 --> 00:17:00,769
Brian: Hey,
is it okay to hang up now?
435
00:17:01,895 --> 00:17:05,232
This is it!
The end of the game.
436
00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:09,194
[ Whispering ] It's a land
beyond the S.I.M.M.
437
00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:10,487
[ Normal voice ]
Don't let that close!
438
00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:13,449
Oh. How are we gonna
find Judy?
439
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:15,284
Oh, I know where she is.
440
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:17,202
That Chard whore.
441
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,080
[ Deep voice ] You came.
442
00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:23,125
I've been waiting
for this day for a long time.
443
00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:25,461
You've only been gone
like two hours.
444
00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:27,629
And why are you talking like
Christine Baranski?
445
00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:31,425
Because I've earned it,
Meredith.
446
00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:33,969
Jessica over loudspeaker:
Now, please make your way
447
00:17:34,052 --> 00:17:36,972
to the north corner
of your office.
448
00:17:37,055 --> 00:17:38,223
Aah!
449
00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:39,725
[ Grunts ]
450
00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:42,478
[ S.I.M.M. powers up ]
451
00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:44,480
Sounds fun.
452
00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:47,107
S.I.M.M.: Pick your avatar!
453
00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:49,151
Brian: Not a lot of guys
to choose from.
454
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:51,320
I do look good in cornflower.
455
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:54,615
S.I.M.M.: Level one --
Sales & Marketing.
456
00:17:54,698 --> 00:17:57,201
Shake your cakes.
Shake your cakes.
457
00:17:57,284 --> 00:17:59,161
Low hanging fruit.
458
00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:01,497
Get ready to go public.
459
00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:03,165
10,000 points!
460
00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:05,083
Best game ever.
461
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:07,294
I've been working to build
each of you
462
00:18:07,377 --> 00:18:10,756
your individual
perfect virtual world.
463
00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:14,510
Mere, this is the ranch
you've always wanted.
464
00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:17,346
It's gorgeous, Jude.
465
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:20,516
I never thought you were paying
attention when I said that.
466
00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:23,185
And Evie, I give you
467
00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:24,937
the Teen Zone.
468
00:18:25,020 --> 00:18:26,522
For not now,
469
00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:28,357
because you're but a child.
470
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,067
Evie: What is he doing?
471
00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:31,735
♪♪
472
00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:33,195
[ Co-worker screaming ]
473
00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:34,947
♪♪
474
00:18:35,030 --> 00:18:37,282
Brian: Aaaah!
475
00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:41,286
Jessica's gone power mad
and is destroying the building.
476
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:42,746
Evie:
Don't let that close!
477
00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:43,789
[ Groans ]
478
00:18:43,872 --> 00:18:46,375
Ah, Brian, my love,
479
00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:48,377
I didn't forget you.
480
00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:49,795
Todd's?
481
00:18:49,878 --> 00:18:52,381
It haunts me
in my dreams.
482
00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:54,508
Am I the...
Deejay?
483
00:18:54,591 --> 00:18:55,551
Indeed.
484
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:57,886
And finally, you -- wait.
485
00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:59,471
Where's Dog?
486
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:01,807
S.I.M.M.: Fringe benefits.
487
00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:04,059
Now, what's this about
Jessica?
488
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:08,272
I may have fired her
a little bit.
489
00:19:08,355 --> 00:19:11,066
Uh, then we realized she hasn't
been cashing her paychecks.
490
00:19:11,149 --> 00:19:13,610
Now she's going to cash them
and bankrupt the company.
491
00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:15,737
That's a summary
of events.
492
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:17,239
Maybe it's okay.
493
00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:19,741
Maybe we let Jessica burn
Sebben & Sebben to the ground.
494
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,076
I could be doing
everyone a favor
495
00:19:21,159 --> 00:19:22,953
by just shutting
the whole thing down,
496
00:19:23,036 --> 00:19:24,705
letting go, moving on.
497
00:19:24,788 --> 00:19:27,708
Jude, do you want to save
the company or not?
498
00:19:27,791 --> 00:19:29,459
If I may?
If you don't,
499
00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:32,254
no bills get paid,
the power gets shut off,
500
00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:34,756
the building forecloses,
the S.I.M.M. shuts down,
501
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,758
and we go bye!
502
00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:39,136
When you put it that way,
I guess we should go back
503
00:19:39,219 --> 00:19:41,847
to the office.
But can we?
504
00:19:41,930 --> 00:19:45,100
Word around the watercooler is
the S.I.M.M. can't go backwards.
505
00:19:45,183 --> 00:19:46,894
No player's ever done it.
506
00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:49,730
Well, maybe no player has.
507
00:19:49,813 --> 00:19:52,190
Are you saying...
No, no!
508
00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:53,692
She is not saying that.
509
00:19:53,775 --> 00:19:55,861
Birdteam, go!
510
00:19:55,944 --> 00:19:57,946
[ Razor buzzing ]
[ Imitates fanfare ]
511
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:02,117
Birdgirl: Follow me, guys,
and Charlene.
512
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,369
[ Whip cracking ]
Ha! Ha!
513
00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:08,916
[ Cellphone rings ]
514
00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:11,585
♪♪
515
00:20:11,668 --> 00:20:13,837
[ Nazi zombie laughs evilly ]
516
00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:16,465
Huh, still had
Nazis in the '80s.
517
00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:17,799
Glad we don't --
[ Grunts ]--
518
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:21,011
have to deal
with these assholes anymore.
519
00:20:22,804 --> 00:20:24,640
[ S.I.M.M. beeping ]
520
00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:26,558
♪♪
521
00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:30,145
Jessica over loudspeaker:
Now left foot in
522
00:20:30,228 --> 00:20:32,940
and shake it all about.
523
00:20:33,941 --> 00:20:34,942
[ Growls ]
524
00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:37,778
Judy:
Mere, get me Jessica.
525
00:20:37,861 --> 00:20:41,698
If you've ever felt overlooked,
taken for granted, underpaid,
526
00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:45,827
I want you to stand on one foot
and start hopping up and down.
527
00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:47,204
May I help you?
528
00:20:47,287 --> 00:20:49,748
Jessica, there's been
a horrible misunderstanding,
529
00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:51,875
and I'd like to apologize
530
00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:56,463
and increase
your candy budget.
531
00:20:57,172 --> 00:21:02,594
Trish: News happens, and this is
"The Sylvia Situation."
532
00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:04,262
In an exclusive update,
533
00:21:04,346 --> 00:21:06,431
the tipping building
has come to a rest,
534
00:21:06,515 --> 00:21:09,601
and the thousands of
employees inside are safe.
535
00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:13,105
Quite the "sky escapers."
536
00:21:13,188 --> 00:21:17,484
Right, Trish?
People nearly died, Walt.
537
00:21:17,567 --> 00:21:19,486
Do you have empathy?
538
00:21:19,569 --> 00:21:22,280
Charlie: So after the meltdown,
she went candy shopping,
539
00:21:22,364 --> 00:21:25,242
had a carafe of pinot,
then the blowout.
540
00:21:25,325 --> 00:21:27,369
Ah, no wonder
you couldn't fire her.
541
00:21:27,452 --> 00:21:30,205
People's candy rage
nearly destroyed the building.
542
00:21:30,288 --> 00:21:32,749
You still don't get it.
The fire Jessica meeting
543
00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:34,376
was never about
firing Jessica.
544
00:21:34,459 --> 00:21:37,629
It was a cover so she could
tell me who's angry,
545
00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:41,008
who needs encouragement,
who wants to quit.
546
00:21:41,091 --> 00:21:43,343
She's never going to cash
those checks, guys.
547
00:21:43,427 --> 00:21:46,805
[ Groans ]
I smell like a goddamn toddler.
548
00:21:48,515 --> 00:21:50,767
[ Exercycle cranking ]
Know what I think?
549
00:21:50,851 --> 00:21:52,352
Why didn't she cash out
one of those checks
550
00:21:52,436 --> 00:21:53,687
and get a decent
pair of shoes?
551
00:21:53,770 --> 00:21:55,522
I think this place
can't be too bad
552
00:21:55,605 --> 00:21:58,191
if we drag our asses
in here day after day.
553
00:21:58,275 --> 00:22:01,445
H.R. complaints
against "Charlene."
554
00:22:01,528 --> 00:22:02,571
He did all this?
555
00:22:02,654 --> 00:22:04,239
In a sense.
Brian?
556
00:22:04,322 --> 00:22:05,866
Yo.
You're fired.
557
00:22:05,949 --> 00:22:07,701
[ Rapping ] ♪ Who is the girl
that saves the world? ♪
558
00:22:07,784 --> 00:22:09,411
Hey! Birdgirl!
559
00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:10,954
♪ Wings of fire,
unique like pearls ♪
560
00:22:11,038 --> 00:22:12,581
Hey! Birdgirl!
561
00:22:12,664 --> 00:22:14,541
♪ Who's the one
they can't defeat? ♪
562
00:22:14,624 --> 00:22:16,001
Hey! Birdgirl!
563
00:22:16,084 --> 00:22:17,753
♪ Ultra fierce,
and it's all you need ♪
564
00:22:17,836 --> 00:22:21,006
Hey! Birdgirl!
565
00:22:21,089 --> 00:22:22,549
Hey!
[ Imitating fanfare ]
566
00:22:22,632 --> 00:22:24,551
Birdgirl!
567
00:22:25,761 --> 00:22:28,972
Made in Georgia.
37651
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