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1
00:00:00,780 --> 00:00:02,570
(Charles)
Jake, you gotta see this.
2
00:00:02,570 --> 00:00:03,700
There's something going on here.
3
00:00:03,700 --> 00:00:07,740
Something a little...
hairy.
4
00:00:07,740 --> 00:00:08,970
Nope.
5
00:00:08,970 --> 00:00:09,970
Don't see anything
out of the ordinary.
6
00:00:09,980 --> 00:00:11,140
Really?
7
00:00:11,140 --> 00:00:14,410
Well, maybe I should...
frame the question differently.
8
00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:17,350
Terry, do you notice anything?
9
00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:19,380
Amy?
10
00:00:19,390 --> 00:00:20,510
New shirt?
11
00:00:20,510 --> 00:00:21,920
Oh, come on, guys.
12
00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:23,920
I grew a goatee,
and it looks amazing,
13
00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:24,960
and I know you can see it.
14
00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:25,990
Of course we can see it,
Charles.
15
00:00:25,990 --> 00:00:27,290
It's horrible.
16
00:00:27,290 --> 00:00:28,930
It looks like you unclogged
a shower drain
17
00:00:28,930 --> 00:00:30,060
with your mouth.
18
00:00:30,060 --> 00:00:31,200
Yeah, you look exactly
like the guy
19
00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:33,770
in the "Don't Talk to Strangers"
poster.
20
00:00:33,770 --> 00:00:35,060
No, I don't.
21
00:00:35,060 --> 00:00:36,170
Are you talking
about your new goatee?
22
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:37,180
Mm-hmm.
23
00:00:37,180 --> 00:00:38,540
I think it's a good choice
for your face.
24
00:00:38,540 --> 00:00:39,570
Come over here,
so I can take a better look.
25
00:00:39,570 --> 00:00:40,810
Thank you, Captain.
26
00:00:40,810 --> 00:00:42,240
I knew you'd appreciate Bianca.
27
00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:43,780
That's right; I call her Bianca
28
00:00:43,780 --> 00:00:44,940
because she's dark and thick
29
00:00:44,940 --> 00:00:47,250
like my first cousin Bianca.
30
00:00:47,250 --> 00:00:49,240
Jeffords, Peralta, now.
31
00:00:49,820 --> 00:00:50,820
Wh... [shouts]
32
00:00:50,820 --> 00:00:52,150
Say good-bye to Bianca, Boyle.
33
00:00:52,150 --> 00:00:53,150
[screams]
34
00:00:53,150 --> 00:00:54,590
No!
35
00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:03,560
♪ ♪
36
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:11,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
37
00:01:15,410 --> 00:01:16,910
Hey, Charles.
38
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,310
I want to ask you something,
39
00:01:18,310 --> 00:01:19,910
but you have to promise
not to get excited and weird.
40
00:01:19,910 --> 00:01:21,550
I can't promise anything
of the sort.
41
00:01:21,550 --> 00:01:22,900
It's about restaurants.
42
00:01:22,900 --> 00:01:24,420
[giggles]
43
00:01:24,420 --> 00:01:25,820
I'm so glad
I didn't make that promise.
44
00:01:25,820 --> 00:01:26,780
Oh, boy.
45
00:01:26,790 --> 00:01:27,890
All right, where do you take
your dad
46
00:01:27,890 --> 00:01:28,890
when you want to go
someplace special?
47
00:01:28,890 --> 00:01:29,890
Great question.
48
00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:30,890
We go to Csaba.
49
00:01:30,890 --> 00:01:31,920
It's a Hungarian restaurant
50
00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:33,360
that serves "Tál ezer kolbász,"
51
00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,750
the platter
of a thousand sausages.
52
00:01:35,750 --> 00:01:36,660
Ugh.
53
00:01:36,660 --> 00:01:37,930
It's symbolic of our manhood.
54
00:01:37,930 --> 00:01:39,230
Okay, I should've saved
the "ugh" till then.
55
00:01:39,230 --> 00:01:41,100
Anyways, I'll try and get
a reservation.
56
00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:42,470
My dad's coming into town,
57
00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:43,800
and we're going out to dinner
tonight.
58
00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:45,040
Why are you going to dinner
with him?
59
00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:47,170
He hasn't visited you
in six years.
60
00:01:47,170 --> 00:01:48,770
Yeah, he's busy.
He's an airline pilot.
61
00:01:48,770 --> 00:01:49,840
Regional airline.
62
00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:51,180
He flies internationally.
63
00:01:51,180 --> 00:01:52,640
[scoffs] Quebec to Albany.
64
00:01:52,650 --> 00:01:53,750
What is going on here?
65
00:01:53,750 --> 00:01:54,750
What's your problem with my dad?
66
00:01:54,750 --> 00:01:55,750
I'm just being wary.
67
00:01:55,750 --> 00:01:57,150
He left you when you were seven,
68
00:01:57,150 --> 00:01:58,760
and he's been letting us down
ever since.
69
00:01:58,770 --> 00:01:59,780
Us?
70
00:01:59,790 --> 00:02:01,050
I think of you
as a brother, Jake,
71
00:02:01,050 --> 00:02:03,420
so he didn't just abandon you;
He abandoned us.
72
00:02:03,420 --> 00:02:04,920
Look, I know he hasn't been
the best dad in the past,
73
00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:06,390
but he's changed.
74
00:02:06,390 --> 00:02:07,990
Check it out.
We've been texting.
75
00:02:07,990 --> 00:02:09,280
"New phone.
Who dis?"
76
00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:10,600
No, below that.
Oh.
77
00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,660
See, he's coming into town
just to see me.
78
00:02:12,670 --> 00:02:14,430
All right, we're gonna go out
to dinner tonight,
79
00:02:14,430 --> 00:02:15,530
then maybe take a walk
through the park,
80
00:02:15,530 --> 00:02:16,800
possibly a carriage ride.
81
00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:19,140
If I get chilly,
he could loan me his coat.
82
00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:20,410
I'm describing a date.
83
00:02:20,410 --> 00:02:21,440
I don't know what fathers
and sons do,
84
00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:22,510
but I'm gonna find out!
85
00:02:25,010 --> 00:02:26,510
(Terry)
Joining us for lunch, sir?
86
00:02:26,510 --> 00:02:27,950
Oh, no, I've already consumed
the required calories
87
00:02:27,950 --> 00:02:29,050
for this day period.
88
00:02:29,050 --> 00:02:30,470
Yummy.
89
00:02:30,470 --> 00:02:32,550
But I do have
some fun lunch chitchat.
90
00:02:32,550 --> 00:02:33,720
When I was a detective,
91
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:34,920
my old c.o., Jim Martins,
92
00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:36,520
used to keep us on our toes
93
00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:38,620
by have us solve brain teasers.
94
00:02:38,620 --> 00:02:41,160
I thought maybe you'd like
to try one.
95
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:42,160
Don't just tease my brain,
Captain.
96
00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:43,730
Really go to town on it.
97
00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:45,630
Yeah, bring it on, sir.
98
00:02:45,630 --> 00:02:46,930
I love puzzles.
99
00:02:46,930 --> 00:02:48,400
They're like power squats
for your mind.
100
00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:49,800
Good.
Here's a problem.
101
00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:52,160
There are 12 men on an island.
102
00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:54,910
11 weigh exactly
the same amount,
103
00:02:54,910 --> 00:02:58,210
but one of them is
slightly lighter or heavier.
104
00:02:58,210 --> 00:02:59,710
You must figure out which.
105
00:02:59,710 --> 00:03:01,450
And what do these men look like
facially
106
00:03:01,450 --> 00:03:03,350
and with respect
to their bodies?
107
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:04,500
It's unimportant.
108
00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:06,050
So like Tyrese.
109
00:03:06,050 --> 00:03:08,390
It's a land of Tyreses.
110
00:03:08,390 --> 00:03:09,650
Sure.
111
00:03:09,660 --> 00:03:11,920
The island has no scales,
112
00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:14,690
but there is a seesaw.
113
00:03:14,690 --> 00:03:16,730
The exciting catch:
114
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:19,030
You can only use it three times.
115
00:03:19,030 --> 00:03:20,030
That sounds super exciting.
116
00:03:20,030 --> 00:03:21,100
Is this thing mandatory?
117
00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:22,600
Oh, I hope so.
Please say yes.
118
00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:25,500
No, but there is a prize
for whoever solves it first.
119
00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:26,970
Two tickets to this Sunday's
120
00:03:26,970 --> 00:03:29,650
Beyoncé Knowles
rock music concert.
121
00:03:29,650 --> 00:03:31,020
I'm in.
122
00:03:31,020 --> 00:03:32,360
Marcus loves Beyoncé.
123
00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:33,820
Everyone loves Beyoncé.
124
00:03:33,820 --> 00:03:35,580
My girls were conceived
to Bootylicious.
125
00:03:35,580 --> 00:03:37,950
Don't tell my wife
I told you that.
126
00:03:37,950 --> 00:03:39,220
[cell phone chimes]
127
00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:40,650
Whoop.
128
00:03:40,650 --> 00:03:43,420
Guys, my dad just texted.
He's in the building.
129
00:03:43,420 --> 00:03:44,420
Scully, stop eating.
130
00:03:44,420 --> 00:03:45,660
Terry, start flexing.
131
00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:47,420
Everybody be cool.
132
00:03:47,420 --> 00:03:49,210
Paging Detective Jake Peralta.
133
00:03:49,210 --> 00:03:50,260
Ah, Dad!
134
00:03:50,260 --> 00:03:51,500
How are you, son?
135
00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:52,720
Good to see you.
136
00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:53,730
Hey.
137
00:03:53,730 --> 00:03:56,030
Everyone, this is my dad.
138
00:03:56,030 --> 00:03:58,100
Hey, introduce yourself
in your captain's voice.
139
00:03:58,100 --> 00:04:00,670
Folks, this is
your pilot speaking,
140
00:04:00,670 --> 00:04:01,930
Captain Roger Peralta.
141
00:04:01,930 --> 00:04:04,310
If you look to your left,
you'll see me,
142
00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:05,740
making your acquaintance.
143
00:04:05,740 --> 00:04:06,810
Love that.
144
00:04:06,810 --> 00:04:08,680
Hi, I'm Jake's best friend,
Charles.
145
00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:09,680
How are you?
146
00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:10,680
Pop quiz:
147
00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:11,680
What's Jake allergic to?
148
00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:12,920
Bees.
And wasps.
149
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,620
Guy didn't even include wasps.
150
00:04:14,620 --> 00:04:15,620
Huh!
151
00:04:15,620 --> 00:04:17,490
Wasps.
Those aren't even real.
152
00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:18,560
Oh, hey, Captain Holt.
153
00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:20,700
Come meet my dad,
Captain Peralta.
154
00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:22,560
Hello, Captain.
Captain.
155
00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:26,630
This is super weird for me.
156
00:04:26,630 --> 00:04:28,730
Captain.
Captain.
157
00:04:28,730 --> 00:04:29,900
Anyways, you guys,
158
00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:31,600
my dad is the best pilot.
159
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:32,600
Oh, come on.
160
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:33,840
Tell them about Oregon.
161
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,910
Okay, this one time
I'm in Eugene,
162
00:04:35,910 --> 00:04:38,380
I'm hitching a ride in
the jump seat of a commuter jet.
163
00:04:38,380 --> 00:04:40,180
I'm sleeping off
a wicked hangover.
164
00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:41,180
Noice.
165
00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:42,610
All of a sudden,
there's a jolt and a boom.
166
00:04:42,610 --> 00:04:43,820
A bird.
It was a bird.
167
00:04:43,820 --> 00:04:45,350
Yeah, we sucked a bird
into our intake.
168
00:04:45,350 --> 00:04:47,320
Next thing I know, the cabin's
filling up with smoke,
169
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:48,560
alarm's going off,
170
00:04:48,570 --> 00:04:50,990
engine flames out and dies.
171
00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:52,290
We are in a dead stall.
172
00:04:52,290 --> 00:04:54,690
I look over at the pilot,
Sam Power...
173
00:04:54,690 --> 00:04:55,690
(both) Great name.
174
00:04:55,690 --> 00:04:57,090
He's white as a sheet.
175
00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:58,660
And he says to me...
I'll never forget what he said.
176
00:04:58,660 --> 00:05:02,670
He says,
"Bobby's got a big ol' butt."
177
00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:04,170
Turns out he's having a stroke.
178
00:05:04,170 --> 00:05:05,710
Bring the plane down
on a highway,
179
00:05:05,710 --> 00:05:07,470
right across from a rest area.
180
00:05:07,470 --> 00:05:09,240
Get on the PA,
181
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:11,710
I say, "Folks,
182
00:05:11,710 --> 00:05:13,590
coffee's on me."
183
00:05:13,590 --> 00:05:15,010
What?
Wow.
184
00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:16,380
Are you kidding me?
[applause]
185
00:05:16,380 --> 00:05:18,020
Anyway, I'm not here
to talk about me.
186
00:05:18,020 --> 00:05:20,260
I'm here to spend some time
with my boy.
187
00:05:20,260 --> 00:05:21,720
Ah, Dad.
188
00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:23,190
It's good to see you.
You too.
189
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:24,560
Oh, hey, let me give you
a tour of the precinct.
190
00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:25,590
Cool.
191
00:05:25,590 --> 00:05:27,330
Ooh, you can interrogate
one of my perps.
192
00:05:27,330 --> 00:05:29,520
No, he can't.
Don't do that, Jake!
193
00:05:34,370 --> 00:05:35,900
You might as well save yourself
some paper
194
00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:37,470
and give up now, Sarge.
195
00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:39,240
You know I'm going to solve
this first.
196
00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:40,570
You probably can't tell,
197
00:05:40,570 --> 00:05:43,370
but I'm flexing my brain
like crazy right now.
198
00:05:43,380 --> 00:05:45,810
(Gina) Yeah, you're both
wasting your time.
199
00:05:45,810 --> 00:05:47,250
Beyoncé's my spiritual twin.
200
00:05:47,250 --> 00:05:48,880
Those tickets are my birthright.
201
00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:51,520
No offense, but this is gonna
come down to me and the sarge.
202
00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:53,220
Whoa, you think you two
are the only ones
203
00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:54,490
that can solve puzzles?
204
00:05:54,490 --> 00:05:56,820
Yeah, what about Rosa, Gina,
and me?
205
00:05:56,820 --> 00:05:58,390
Is this how you want to die,
Hitchcock?
206
00:05:58,390 --> 00:06:00,730
Look, it's just that the sarge
and I are really into puzzles.
207
00:06:00,730 --> 00:06:02,930
Remember when I took
that Sudoku cruise?
208
00:06:02,930 --> 00:06:04,330
I never even went on deck.
209
00:06:04,330 --> 00:06:06,300
100 bucks says Gina and I
can solve this thing
210
00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:08,570
before you two puzzle dorks.
211
00:06:08,570 --> 00:06:10,770
[scoffs]
212
00:06:10,770 --> 00:06:12,360
Deal.
213
00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:13,800
You're going down.
214
00:06:13,810 --> 00:06:17,480
You're really not a part
of this, Hitchcock.
215
00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:18,480
(Jake) [sighs]
216
00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:19,810
Did they bring out more sausage
217
00:06:19,810 --> 00:06:21,180
while I was in the bathroom?
218
00:06:21,180 --> 00:06:22,880
No, that's still
the first mountain.
219
00:06:23,340 --> 00:06:24,350
Good Lord.
220
00:06:24,350 --> 00:06:26,280
Anyways, do you remember
what you always did
221
00:06:26,290 --> 00:06:27,790
when you'd take me to dinner
as a kid?
222
00:06:27,790 --> 00:06:29,390
Tell the waitress
it was your birthday,
223
00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:30,450
so we'd get a free dessert?
224
00:06:30,460 --> 00:06:31,460
I already did it.
225
00:06:31,460 --> 00:06:32,590
[scoffs]
226
00:06:32,590 --> 00:06:33,710
I just told them
it was your birthday.
227
00:06:33,710 --> 00:06:34,590
Come on.
228
00:06:34,590 --> 00:06:35,890
Looks like we're going to get
229
00:06:35,890 --> 00:06:38,730
two free probably disgusting
sausage-filled desserts.
230
00:06:38,730 --> 00:06:39,860
This is pretty fun, right?
231
00:06:39,870 --> 00:06:41,300
I mean, we're actually bonding.
232
00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:43,430
Jake, there's something I want
to talk to you about.
233
00:06:43,430 --> 00:06:46,100
Last week I was flying
into Albany from Quebec,
234
00:06:46,100 --> 00:06:48,710
you know how I always
keep my snowboard with me
235
00:06:48,710 --> 00:06:50,310
in case I get a chance
to carve...
236
00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:51,640
So cool.
237
00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:53,880
Well, Canadian customs found
some prescription meds
238
00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:55,010
in my board bag.
239
00:06:55,010 --> 00:06:56,440
They're accusing me
of smuggling.
240
00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:57,450
What?
241
00:06:57,450 --> 00:06:58,450
Yeah, I have no idea
how they got in there.
242
00:06:58,450 --> 00:06:59,480
They're not mine.
243
00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:00,480
But it's bad.
244
00:07:00,490 --> 00:07:02,450
I could lose my pilot's license.
245
00:07:02,450 --> 00:07:04,190
But you're the best pilot
in the world,
246
00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:06,390
I'm guessing without knowing
anything about the field.
247
00:07:06,390 --> 00:07:07,560
I'm really in a bind here.
248
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:10,460
Jake, I need your help.
249
00:07:10,460 --> 00:07:13,960
That's actually
the reason I'm here.
250
00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:16,000
Oh.
251
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,070
That's the reason.
252
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:20,040
Happy sausage birthday
to both of you.
253
00:07:20,050 --> 00:07:22,380
[all singing in Hungarian]
254
00:07:22,390 --> 00:07:23,380
♪ ♪
255
00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:27,610
All right, let's talk
about my dad's case.
256
00:07:27,610 --> 00:07:29,140
The case of why he came to town?
257
00:07:29,140 --> 00:07:30,510
I solved it:
258
00:07:30,510 --> 00:07:32,210
Because he wanted
to take advantage of his son.
259
00:07:32,210 --> 00:07:33,210
(Jake) Okay, fine.
260
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:34,580
First I was a little upset,
261
00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:36,250
but then I realized
this is great.
262
00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:37,650
You know, we'll get to spend
some time together,
263
00:07:37,650 --> 00:07:39,010
and he'll see
what a good cop I am.
264
00:07:39,020 --> 00:07:40,120
He should already think
you're great.
265
00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:41,290
Like with my dad,
266
00:07:41,290 --> 00:07:42,720
he doesn't need me to prove
to him
267
00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:44,630
that Jake Peralta is
the best cop in the precinct.
268
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:45,890
He knows it!
269
00:07:45,930 --> 00:07:46,930
Tell us about the case.
270
00:07:46,930 --> 00:07:48,130
Here's what we know so far.
271
00:07:48,130 --> 00:07:50,260
One, Hungarian sausage
is an oily mess,
272
00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:52,230
and it causes nonstop dumps.
273
00:07:52,270 --> 00:07:53,930
The incontinence
is a small price to pay
274
00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:54,930
for the deliciousness.
275
00:07:54,940 --> 00:07:56,070
It's disgusting,
276
00:07:56,070 --> 00:07:57,270
and it was
a terrible recommendation.
277
00:07:57,270 --> 00:07:59,140
Two, the Canadian cops
think that my dad
278
00:07:59,140 --> 00:08:00,840
used his security clearance
to smuggle in
279
00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:02,910
over a thousand pills
of Turgidol.
280
00:08:02,910 --> 00:08:04,680
Canadian erection medication.
281
00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:06,250
Very potent.
282
00:08:06,250 --> 00:08:07,880
What?
I don't need it.
283
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,480
[whispers] But I love it.
284
00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:11,790
Oh, boy.
285
00:08:11,790 --> 00:08:13,620
Three, the case against him
looks pretty solid.
286
00:08:13,620 --> 00:08:15,790
Four, he's never been
a good dad to Jake.
287
00:08:15,820 --> 00:08:17,660
Five, he has been a good dad,
288
00:08:17,660 --> 00:08:20,130
especially from ages
zero through seven
289
00:08:20,130 --> 00:08:22,030
and yesterday through forever.
290
00:08:22,030 --> 00:08:25,100
Six, nonstop dumps.
291
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:26,270
(Holt) Enough.
How did you read these files?
292
00:08:26,300 --> 00:08:27,370
They're in French.
293
00:08:27,370 --> 00:08:29,100
Scully translated them for me.
294
00:08:29,140 --> 00:08:30,810
When I was nine,
my parents took me to Paris,
295
00:08:30,810 --> 00:08:32,710
and they accidentally left me
at the Louvre.
296
00:08:32,710 --> 00:08:33,910
By the time they figured it out,
297
00:08:33,910 --> 00:08:35,280
they were already
back in Queens.
298
00:08:35,310 --> 00:08:37,310
Okay, no one cares
about your boring life, Scully.
299
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,510
This is about my dad
and proving his innocence.
300
00:08:39,510 --> 00:08:41,280
Sir, I'd like to go to Canada
for a few days
301
00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:42,350
and help him out.
302
00:08:42,380 --> 00:08:44,220
Of course,
but take Boyle with you.
303
00:08:44,220 --> 00:08:45,850
It'd be good to have
an objective set of eyes.
304
00:08:45,850 --> 00:08:48,890
Fine, but under protest
because he's a jerk.
305
00:08:48,890 --> 00:08:50,460
Also, we'd like to take Scully
with us.
306
00:08:50,460 --> 00:08:51,660
Well, perfect.
307
00:08:51,660 --> 00:08:52,830
I do you a favor;
You do me one too.
308
00:08:52,830 --> 00:08:54,300
Thank you.
309
00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:56,700
All right, there is no way
we let Amy and the sarge
310
00:08:56,700 --> 00:08:58,030
beat us.
311
00:08:58,030 --> 00:09:00,230
We sit here
until we figure this thing out.
312
00:09:00,270 --> 00:09:01,730
Rosa, my mind is ready.
313
00:09:01,770 --> 00:09:03,270
Okay.
314
00:09:03,270 --> 00:09:04,710
"There's an island with 12 men."
315
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:08,180
Oh, I'm so bored.
I cannot do it.
316
00:09:08,180 --> 00:09:09,640
I can do this.
317
00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:11,310
One guy's slightly heavier.
318
00:09:11,310 --> 00:09:13,850
There's a seesaw.
319
00:09:13,850 --> 00:09:15,580
I got it.
320
00:09:15,580 --> 00:09:17,280
You use the seesaw to press down
on their necks
321
00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:18,380
until fatty confesses.
322
00:09:18,420 --> 00:09:19,720
Incorrect.
Damn.
323
00:09:19,750 --> 00:09:21,460
And disturbing.
324
00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:22,590
(Roger) Hello,
ladies and gentlemen.
325
00:09:22,590 --> 00:09:24,230
This is your captain speaking.
326
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:25,690
That's my dad.
327
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,960
The captain talking right now,
I came out of his body.
328
00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:29,160
No big deal.
329
00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:30,600
We're headed
for an on-time arrival
330
00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:31,830
in Drummondville, Quebec.
331
00:09:31,830 --> 00:09:33,470
Folks, this is a special flight
for me,
332
00:09:33,470 --> 00:09:37,340
because sitting in seat 3B
is my son, Jake Peralta,
333
00:09:37,340 --> 00:09:38,570
one of New York's finest.
334
00:09:38,610 --> 00:09:40,570
[applause] Oh.
335
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:41,580
Thanks, Dad!
336
00:09:41,580 --> 00:09:43,840
Love you too.
337
00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:44,880
Got to admit,
it was pretty nice of him
338
00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:46,350
to bump us up to first class.
339
00:09:46,350 --> 00:09:49,120
Ugh, this plush fabric
is making my rump sweat.
340
00:09:49,150 --> 00:09:50,950
Maybe you're just
a little too uncultured
341
00:09:50,950 --> 00:09:54,550
to enjoy such a sophisticated
kind of an experience.
342
00:09:54,590 --> 00:09:55,820
Oh, brother.
343
00:09:55,860 --> 00:09:58,420
[English accent] What do you say
there, Scully, old boy?
344
00:09:58,460 --> 00:09:59,960
Look at this nut mix:
345
00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:02,100
It's half cashews!
346
00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:03,460
I hope we never land!
347
00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:04,530
So loud.
348
00:10:04,530 --> 00:10:05,530
Hey, guys.
349
00:10:05,530 --> 00:10:07,170
How you enjoying the flight?
350
00:10:07,170 --> 00:10:08,540
So how's the case going?
351
00:10:08,540 --> 00:10:09,900
Oh, good.
352
00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:11,110
We already have four suspects
353
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:12,440
who work at the airport,
354
00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:13,610
and I want to talk
to your girlfriend, Denise,
355
00:10:13,610 --> 00:10:14,770
because she had access
to your bags.
356
00:10:14,810 --> 00:10:16,780
Not on the night in question.
357
00:10:16,780 --> 00:10:19,280
She's been spending some time
at her place.
358
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:20,880
Relationships are complicated.
359
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,450
You cheated on her a bunch,
and she found out.
360
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:24,690
Okay, I deserve that.
361
00:10:24,690 --> 00:10:26,320
Charles, I have cheated
on women in the past
362
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:28,450
and on this one too.
363
00:10:28,490 --> 00:10:29,990
You got a penchant for blondes.
364
00:10:29,990 --> 00:10:31,490
Hey, come on,
you can't blame a guy
365
00:10:31,490 --> 00:10:33,630
for occasionally dropping anchor
at the cold Commodore Club.
366
00:10:33,660 --> 00:10:35,630
[laughter]
367
00:10:35,630 --> 00:10:37,500
So seriously, Jake,
this is going to be okay?
368
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:39,000
Oh, yeah.
You're going to be fine.
369
00:10:39,030 --> 00:10:40,570
Yeah.
370
00:10:40,570 --> 00:10:41,570
Oh, my God, Jake.
371
00:10:41,570 --> 00:10:42,870
Who's flying the plane?
372
00:10:42,870 --> 00:10:45,840
Co-pilot, Scully.
Co-pilot.
373
00:10:45,870 --> 00:10:47,510
Okay, look.
374
00:10:47,510 --> 00:10:49,280
Let's try a new approach.
375
00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:51,110
We weigh these three islanders
376
00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:53,450
against these three islanders.
377
00:10:53,450 --> 00:10:54,520
If they weigh the same,
378
00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:55,920
we eliminate them,
379
00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:56,950
and if they don't,
380
00:10:56,950 --> 00:10:59,090
we...
381
00:10:59,090 --> 00:11:00,290
Where'd they go?
382
00:11:00,290 --> 00:11:02,090
Terry's mouth is full of donuts.
383
00:11:02,090 --> 00:11:03,490
You said we could eliminate 'em!
384
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:05,060
Only if they weigh the same.
385
00:11:05,060 --> 00:11:06,290
We've been here forever.
386
00:11:06,330 --> 00:11:07,490
I'm getting snacky.
387
00:11:07,530 --> 00:11:09,500
Fine.
Let's start over.
388
00:11:09,530 --> 00:11:13,230
Okay, we balance
three against three,
389
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:14,970
and if they weigh the same,
390
00:11:14,970 --> 00:11:17,200
we just...
391
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:18,810
What just happened?
392
00:11:18,810 --> 00:11:19,810
Come on, man.
393
00:11:19,810 --> 00:11:20,970
Stop eating the islanders.
394
00:11:21,010 --> 00:11:22,380
I'm saving them
395
00:11:22,380 --> 00:11:24,310
from this weight-obsessed
nightmare island.
396
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,550
By murdering them?
397
00:11:25,580 --> 00:11:27,280
I warned you
against using donuts.
398
00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:29,280
They're my trigger food.
399
00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:30,520
Mmm.
Terry.
400
00:11:30,550 --> 00:11:32,050
These islanders are delicious.
401
00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:36,790
Okay, so two of our suspects
are in the baggage area.
402
00:11:36,790 --> 00:11:38,160
Do you think you can
get us access?
403
00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:40,330
You're with a pilot.
I can get you in anywhere.
404
00:11:40,330 --> 00:11:42,400
Hey, you guys want
a 10% discount
405
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:44,570
on duty-free maple syrup?
406
00:11:44,570 --> 00:11:45,800
Do I ever!
407
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:47,270
(man with French accent)
Roger Peralta.
408
00:11:47,270 --> 00:11:49,270
Roger Peralta...
[speaking French]
409
00:11:49,270 --> 00:11:50,270
Hey! What?
410
00:11:50,270 --> 00:11:51,710
Scully, what's going on?
411
00:11:51,710 --> 00:11:52,840
[speaking French]
412
00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:54,070
(Scully)
"Roger Peralta is under arrest
413
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:55,480
for possession
of a controlled substance."
414
00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:57,110
What?
[speaking French]
415
00:11:57,110 --> 00:11:58,810
"They found pills
in his apartment."
416
00:11:58,810 --> 00:12:00,210
(Roger) Jake,
I don't know what he's talking about.
417
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,520
I swear I don't know how
those pills got in my apartment.
418
00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:03,550
Wait.
Jake.
419
00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:04,690
Scully, tell them we're cops.
420
00:12:04,690 --> 00:12:05,690
Tell them!
421
00:12:05,690 --> 00:12:07,750
[speaks French]
422
00:12:07,790 --> 00:12:09,390
Shoot.
423
00:12:09,390 --> 00:12:10,390
That means "turnip."
424
00:12:10,390 --> 00:12:11,560
I said we were turnips.
425
00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:12,590
I got it.
Don't worry.
426
00:12:12,590 --> 00:12:14,230
We are turnips!
427
00:12:14,230 --> 00:12:15,830
Nope, that was English.
Yeah.
428
00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:19,460
The cops said your dad's
being held without bail,
429
00:12:19,490 --> 00:12:20,890
they want us
on the next flight out,
430
00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:22,660
and that Bernard's
is the best poutine place
431
00:12:22,660 --> 00:12:23,660
in the airport.
432
00:12:23,670 --> 00:12:24,700
You want some?
433
00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:26,200
No, I don't want poutine
right now.
434
00:12:26,230 --> 00:12:27,230
Yes!
435
00:12:28,870 --> 00:12:31,340
Man, I can't believe they found
pills at my dad's place.
436
00:12:31,340 --> 00:12:32,470
That means none of our suspects
437
00:12:32,470 --> 00:12:33,610
could've possibly done it.
438
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,370
Oh, my God, Boyle.
439
00:12:35,410 --> 00:12:38,280
Is there a chance that my dad
is actually a drug smuggler?
440
00:12:38,310 --> 00:12:39,950
Well, let's look at the facts.
441
00:12:39,950 --> 00:12:42,280
Drugs in his luggage,
drugs in his apartment.
442
00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:44,080
Terrible dad, terrible husband,
443
00:12:44,090 --> 00:12:45,820
cheats on his girlfriend.
444
00:12:45,820 --> 00:12:47,420
I think he did it.
445
00:12:47,420 --> 00:12:48,660
You're right.
446
00:12:48,660 --> 00:12:49,660
He didn't do it.
447
00:12:49,690 --> 00:12:50,690
That's not what I said.
448
00:12:50,690 --> 00:12:52,290
No, you said
he cheats on his girlfriend.
449
00:12:52,290 --> 00:12:54,830
Presumably, he has
to do that with someone,
450
00:12:54,830 --> 00:12:56,260
and that someone
would have access
451
00:12:56,260 --> 00:12:57,830
to his apartment and his bags.
452
00:12:59,130 --> 00:13:01,400
Dad dropped anchor
at the Commodore's Club.
453
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:02,440
"Someone" is there.
454
00:13:02,470 --> 00:13:03,830
Even so, how do we get in there?
455
00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:05,580
By wearing Dad's pilot uniforms.
456
00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:07,070
No, Jake, I just don't think
he's innocent,
457
00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:08,080
and I just think...
458
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:09,080
So you don't want to be
my co-pilot?
459
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:10,710
I'm in!
460
00:13:10,710 --> 00:13:12,910
(Norman Greenbaum) ♪ Going
up to the spirit in the sky ♪
461
00:13:12,910 --> 00:13:14,350
♪ Spirit in the sky ♪
462
00:13:14,350 --> 00:13:16,950
♪ That's where I'm gonna go
when I die ♪
463
00:13:16,950 --> 00:13:18,290
♪ When I die ♪
464
00:13:18,290 --> 00:13:20,600
♪ When I die
and they lay me... ♪
465
00:13:20,620 --> 00:13:21,620
Sorry, Scully.
466
00:13:21,620 --> 00:13:22,850
We only had two uniforms.
467
00:13:22,860 --> 00:13:24,090
It's okay.
468
00:13:24,090 --> 00:13:25,730
For some reason, all the fries
and gravy and cheese
469
00:13:25,730 --> 00:13:26,730
upset my tummy.
470
00:13:26,730 --> 00:13:27,790
(both) Huh.
471
00:13:27,830 --> 00:13:29,030
♪ ♪
472
00:13:29,030 --> 00:13:31,430
♪ Going up
to the spirit in the sky ♪
473
00:13:31,430 --> 00:13:32,500
♪ Spirit in the sky ♪
474
00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:33,540
♪ That's where I'm gonna ♪
475
00:13:35,020 --> 00:13:37,820
Are you here because you've
solved my brain teaser?
476
00:13:37,820 --> 00:13:40,750
Sir, you've been an underdog
your whole life.
477
00:13:40,790 --> 00:13:43,820
But you defied the odds
by having others
478
00:13:43,860 --> 00:13:45,630
secretly help you
479
00:13:45,630 --> 00:13:47,230
'cause you didn't have
what it took.
480
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:48,260
That's not my story.
481
00:13:48,260 --> 00:13:49,400
But now we're the underdogs,
482
00:13:49,430 --> 00:13:51,230
and we're the ones who need
a handout,
483
00:13:51,230 --> 00:13:53,840
so just tell us the answer.
484
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:55,870
Or have you forgotten
where you come from?
485
00:13:55,900 --> 00:13:57,340
I'm not gonna help you.
486
00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,770
I told you
that was not gonna work.
487
00:13:59,780 --> 00:14:00,940
Stop the clock.
488
00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:04,310
We're here,
and we have the solution.
489
00:14:04,310 --> 00:14:06,580
First, you weigh six versus six.
490
00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:08,270
Wrong.
That'll never work.
491
00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,890
You just wasted your time
and mine.
492
00:14:10,890 --> 00:14:12,020
Click!
493
00:14:12,020 --> 00:14:13,760
I just captured the exact moment
494
00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:15,760
when you realized
you had failed.
495
00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:16,960
I guess we all got
496
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:18,090
something out of this.
497
00:14:18,090 --> 00:14:19,190
(Holt) So that's it?
498
00:14:19,190 --> 00:14:20,530
This problem is
beyond all of you?
499
00:14:20,530 --> 00:14:21,530
No one solved it.
500
00:14:21,530 --> 00:14:22,700
Believe me.
501
00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:24,930
No one is more disappointed
in me than me.
502
00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:28,140
"Than I," Santiago.
503
00:14:28,140 --> 00:14:29,970
[whispering] Click.
504
00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:36,240
Hi there.
Yeah, that's us.
505
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:37,250
Home sweet home.
506
00:14:37,250 --> 00:14:38,250
Got dem wings.
507
00:14:38,250 --> 00:14:39,410
Yeah.
508
00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:40,420
Ooh. Okay.
509
00:14:40,420 --> 00:14:42,180
Boom, right there,
behind the bar.
510
00:14:42,180 --> 00:14:43,550
That's my dad's type.
511
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:45,990
Oh, he likes 'em neat and clean,
real tidy.
512
00:14:45,990 --> 00:14:46,990
What?
513
00:14:46,990 --> 00:14:48,520
No, blondes.
He likes blondes.
514
00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:49,620
All right, here's the plan.
515
00:14:49,630 --> 00:14:50,620
We're gonna go sit down,
516
00:14:50,630 --> 00:14:51,790
order a couple of drinks,
517
00:14:51,790 --> 00:14:53,460
grab her fingerprints
off the glass she serves us,
518
00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:55,260
and then measure her wrist
for handcuff size.
519
00:14:55,260 --> 00:14:56,260
Ready?
Yeah.
520
00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:57,870
Oh, crazy flight.
521
00:14:57,870 --> 00:14:59,170
(Charles)
Oh, those hydraulics were loud.
522
00:14:59,170 --> 00:15:00,740
Yeah.
523
00:15:00,740 --> 00:15:03,140
Ah, bonjour, bonjour.
524
00:15:03,140 --> 00:15:05,310
Two whiskeys, please, Chantelle.
525
00:15:05,310 --> 00:15:06,840
Thanks.
526
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,010
Say, I'm looking
for an old sky pal of mine.
527
00:15:09,010 --> 00:15:10,310
Do you know Roger Peralta?
528
00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:11,980
Yes.
Yes, I do.
529
00:15:11,980 --> 00:15:13,380
How do you guys know Peralta?
530
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:14,950
Oh, I used to fly with him
back in Oregon.
531
00:15:14,950 --> 00:15:16,280
My name's Captain Spike Masters.
532
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:17,720
This is my co-pilot Wanda Cohen.
533
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:18,720
(Charles) I drive
the plane when he sleeps.
534
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:21,060
I also take care
of hotel accommodations.
535
00:15:21,060 --> 00:15:22,520
Where'd you guys say
you flew in from?
536
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:23,590
Akron.
Luxembourg.
537
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:24,890
Connected in Akron.
538
00:15:24,890 --> 00:15:28,230
Took the old 78... 9er
on the wind stream.
539
00:15:28,230 --> 00:15:29,760
You know, flight stuff.
540
00:15:29,770 --> 00:15:30,770
Anyhow...
541
00:15:30,770 --> 00:15:31,770
[sighs]
542
00:15:31,770 --> 00:15:33,300
Can we grab those two whiskeys,
please?
543
00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:34,340
I do not know who you are,
544
00:15:34,340 --> 00:15:35,640
and I do not think
you are pilots.
545
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:37,210
Your suit doesn't even fit.
546
00:15:37,210 --> 00:15:38,540
Ah.
547
00:15:38,540 --> 00:15:39,740
I had my stomach stapled.
548
00:15:39,740 --> 00:15:41,610
Sécurité! Sécurité!
549
00:15:41,610 --> 00:15:43,610
[speaking French]
550
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,610
Ah!
Unhand us.
551
00:15:45,610 --> 00:15:46,910
This is outrageous.
552
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:48,880
I demand to speak
with the commodore himself.
553
00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:51,150
There's no way
we'll get her fingerprints now.
554
00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:52,950
Oh, really?
555
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:53,960
Voilà .
556
00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:55,120
French.
557
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,760
She cleaned the bar
quite thoroughly,
558
00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:59,260
but this bottle is filthy
with her prints.
559
00:15:59,260 --> 00:16:00,260
Smurt.
560
00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:01,360
That's why you're the pilot,
561
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:02,360
and I'm the co-pilot.
562
00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:04,130
Copy that, Wanda.
563
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:05,830
Copy that.
564
00:16:05,830 --> 00:16:07,270
Wanda Cohen.
565
00:16:07,270 --> 00:16:09,500
(Rosa) Wait, Captain.
566
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,370
Gina and I figured out
your dumb brain teaser.
567
00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:12,540
I highly doubt that, sir.
568
00:16:12,540 --> 00:16:13,880
I'll judge for myself, Santiago.
569
00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:15,040
Okay, Diaz.
570
00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:16,440
What's the solution?
571
00:16:16,450 --> 00:16:17,450
We have no idea.
572
00:16:17,450 --> 00:16:18,450
Ha!
Told ya.
573
00:16:18,450 --> 00:16:19,710
But neither do you, sir.
574
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:20,720
What?
575
00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:21,720
Captain Holt,
576
00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:22,980
you don't know
what the solution is.
577
00:16:22,990 --> 00:16:24,220
Excuse me?
578
00:16:24,220 --> 00:16:25,520
Here's how we cracked it.
579
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:28,220
I took the photo of you
demolishing Amy's spirit
580
00:16:28,220 --> 00:16:32,290
and made these clever T-shirts
that say, "#nerdfail."
581
00:16:32,290 --> 00:16:33,630
It's not that clever.
582
00:16:33,630 --> 00:16:34,930
It's hilarious.
583
00:16:34,930 --> 00:16:36,200
Look at this.
584
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:39,570
Your expression
is the same as Amy's
585
00:16:39,570 --> 00:16:40,940
because you're both devastated
586
00:16:40,940 --> 00:16:42,300
that you just
let down your mentors.
587
00:16:42,300 --> 00:16:43,840
(Gina)
I looked at your calendar.
588
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:46,170
You're supposed to have
breakfast with your old c.o.
589
00:16:46,180 --> 00:16:48,280
You wanted us to solve
the problem before you saw him.
590
00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:49,810
That's crazy.
591
00:16:49,810 --> 00:16:50,810
She's right.
592
00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:51,980
What?
No.
593
00:16:51,980 --> 00:16:54,850
He posed that problem to me
20 years ago.
594
00:16:54,850 --> 00:16:56,150
Every time I see him, he asks,
595
00:16:56,150 --> 00:16:57,250
"Do you have the answer yet?"
596
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:58,420
And I never have.
597
00:16:58,420 --> 00:17:01,120
Those islanders
and their pathetic seesaw
598
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:02,460
haunt my dreams.
599
00:17:02,460 --> 00:17:04,260
They mock me in my sleep,
600
00:17:04,260 --> 00:17:08,660
riding up and down
on a teeter-totter of taunts.
601
00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:09,660
Cool.
602
00:17:09,670 --> 00:17:11,700
So who gets the Beyoncé tickets?
603
00:17:13,470 --> 00:17:16,640
(Jake) ♪ O Canada ♪
604
00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:20,580
♪ You home of crappy cops ♪
605
00:17:20,580 --> 00:17:22,610
Guess who just freed his dad
from Canadian prison
606
00:17:22,610 --> 00:17:24,310
and slammed six free mimosas
607
00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:25,850
on the first-class flight home
608
00:17:25,850 --> 00:17:27,520
sans the juice?
609
00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:28,620
Spoiler alert, it was Jake.
610
00:17:28,620 --> 00:17:29,620
It was me.
611
00:17:29,620 --> 00:17:30,950
So turns out
612
00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:32,190
my dad's sidepiece framed him.
613
00:17:32,190 --> 00:17:33,390
She was hella pissed
614
00:17:33,390 --> 00:17:35,360
'cause she found out
about his real girlfriend
615
00:17:35,360 --> 00:17:36,490
and his other sidepiece.
616
00:17:36,490 --> 00:17:38,490
So yeah.
617
00:17:38,490 --> 00:17:40,390
Turns out my dad
is a great guy after all.
618
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:42,030
And in celebration
of my freedom,
619
00:17:42,030 --> 00:17:43,830
I'm taking
everybody out tonight.
620
00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:44,830
Drinks are on me.
621
00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:47,030
(Jake) Eh?
622
00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:48,400
Where's Scully?
623
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:49,640
Scully.
Oh, no.
624
00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:50,640
Who?
625
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:55,840
(Jake) Hey, Hank.
626
00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:57,010
When you see my dad walk in,
627
00:17:57,010 --> 00:17:58,110
can you dim the lights
628
00:17:58,110 --> 00:17:59,150
and play We Are the Champions?
629
00:17:59,150 --> 00:18:00,310
No.
630
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:01,450
I don't know
what your dad looks like,
631
00:18:01,450 --> 00:18:02,550
I don't have the song...
[phone chimes]
632
00:18:02,550 --> 00:18:03,890
And the lights
aren't on dimmers.
633
00:18:03,890 --> 00:18:05,250
Oh, no.
It's okay, Jake.
634
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:07,220
You give me the signal,
I'll start unscrewing bulbs.
635
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:09,420
No, my dad just texted.
636
00:18:09,420 --> 00:18:10,790
He's not coming.
637
00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:12,560
To Jake's dad!
638
00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:14,060
[all cheer]
639
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:16,630
Yep.
640
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:19,610
Sorry, Jake.
641
00:18:19,610 --> 00:18:20,740
I'm sure your dad has
a really good reason
642
00:18:20,750 --> 00:18:21,750
for not being here.
643
00:18:21,750 --> 00:18:23,480
No, don't do that, all right?
644
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:24,580
Don't let him off the hook.
645
00:18:24,580 --> 00:18:26,020
That's what I've done
my whole life.
646
00:18:26,020 --> 00:18:27,890
You know, when he missed
my 11th birthday,
647
00:18:27,890 --> 00:18:31,720
I blamed myself for being born
on a peak travel day.
648
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:33,460
You were right about him, Boyle.
649
00:18:33,460 --> 00:18:35,030
So what do we do now?
650
00:18:35,030 --> 00:18:36,430
Hug for ten minutes.
651
00:18:36,430 --> 00:18:37,590
No, give me a rain check
on the hug.
652
00:18:37,630 --> 00:18:39,360
There's something I got to do.
653
00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:41,300
You can have my beer.
Cool.
654
00:18:41,300 --> 00:18:43,770
[knocks on door]
655
00:18:43,770 --> 00:18:45,440
Jake.
656
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,140
I'm sorry I couldn't make it
to the party.
657
00:18:47,140 --> 00:18:50,370
I'm subbing for a buddy
who's got an early flight.
658
00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:51,510
I'm sure you're upset.
659
00:18:51,510 --> 00:18:53,340
No, actually,
I'm not upset at all.
660
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:54,340
Yeah?
661
00:18:54,350 --> 00:18:55,350
Great.
662
00:18:55,350 --> 00:18:56,810
No, more relieved.
663
00:18:56,820 --> 00:18:59,120
You know,
you were always my hero,
664
00:18:59,120 --> 00:19:00,820
but I think I'm finally
starting to see you
665
00:19:00,820 --> 00:19:01,850
for who you really are:
666
00:19:01,850 --> 00:19:03,550
A regional airline pilot
667
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:04,990
whose landings are bumpy as hell
668
00:19:04,990 --> 00:19:06,260
and a pretty selfish guy
669
00:19:06,260 --> 00:19:08,330
who genuinely doesn't care
about being a dad.
670
00:19:08,330 --> 00:19:11,630
Jake, you don't understand.
671
00:19:11,630 --> 00:19:14,000
There was a downdraft
on the Drummondville runway.
672
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:15,700
Oh, wow.
673
00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:16,700
It's not my fault.
674
00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:18,200
Yeah, clearly.
675
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,640
Look, I've been making excuses
for you my whole life,
676
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:23,740
but you're
a pretty crappy father,
677
00:19:23,740 --> 00:19:25,940
and until you're ready
to be a good one,
678
00:19:25,940 --> 00:19:28,180
don't call me.
679
00:19:28,180 --> 00:19:29,610
Also I'm taking your captain hat
680
00:19:29,610 --> 00:19:32,380
because it's cool,
and I want it.
681
00:19:32,420 --> 00:19:35,220
(Norman Greenbaum) ♪ Going
up to the spirit in the sky ♪
682
00:19:35,250 --> 00:19:36,690
♪ Spirit in the sky ♪
683
00:19:36,690 --> 00:19:39,190
♪ That's where I'm gonna go
when I die ♪
684
00:19:39,190 --> 00:19:40,560
I got to say,
685
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:42,330
figuring out Captain Holt
didn't know the answer
686
00:19:42,330 --> 00:19:43,490
was an incredible solve.
687
00:19:43,490 --> 00:19:45,160
I'm sorry if we implied
you weren't smart.
688
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:47,330
Oh, and I'm sorry if we implied
689
00:19:47,330 --> 00:19:48,930
you're both asexual nerds
690
00:19:48,930 --> 00:19:51,370
who can only be friends
with service animals.
691
00:19:51,370 --> 00:19:52,370
You didn't.
692
00:19:52,370 --> 00:19:53,500
(Rosa) Not to your face,
693
00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:55,040
but to a ton of people
behind your back.
694
00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:56,040
Thanks for the drink.
695
00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:57,710
Yes.
696
00:19:57,710 --> 00:19:58,810
Next round's on me.
697
00:19:58,810 --> 00:19:59,940
It's the least I can do
698
00:19:59,940 --> 00:20:02,750
for teasing your brains
so mercilessly.
699
00:20:02,750 --> 00:20:04,680
So what are you gonna say
to your old c.o. tomorrow
700
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:06,280
when he asks
if you've solved the puzzle?
701
00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:07,280
I don't know.
702
00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:08,650
Thanks for bringing that up.
703
00:20:08,650 --> 00:20:10,050
Fun chat.
704
00:20:10,050 --> 00:20:11,690
(Gina) Just say
you're a captain now,
705
00:20:11,690 --> 00:20:12,890
and you're busy
running a precinct,
706
00:20:12,890 --> 00:20:14,860
so he can go suck an egg.
707
00:20:14,860 --> 00:20:16,230
Or we can all work together
708
00:20:16,230 --> 00:20:17,530
all night long,
709
00:20:17,530 --> 00:20:19,300
and I'm sure we can
eventually figure it out.
710
00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:21,730
I like that, Terry.
It shows real heart.
711
00:20:21,730 --> 00:20:24,270
But I'm going with Gina's
"suck an egg" idea.
712
00:20:24,300 --> 00:20:27,300
You get the Beyoncé tickets.
713
00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:29,470
Oh-ho-ho-ho!
714
00:20:29,470 --> 00:20:30,870
Of course I do.
715
00:20:30,910 --> 00:20:31,940
I told you.
716
00:20:31,940 --> 00:20:34,940
It was my birthright,
you bitches.
717
00:20:37,950 --> 00:20:39,920
Superglue your panties
to your butts, ladies,
718
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:42,790
because Jake is in the house!
719
00:20:42,790 --> 00:20:44,050
What?
720
00:20:44,060 --> 00:20:45,060
Never mind.
721
00:20:45,060 --> 00:20:46,060
I'm a little drunk.
Ah.
722
00:20:46,060 --> 00:20:47,820
I'm also worried about you.
723
00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:49,230
Come here.
Ten-minute hug time.
724
00:20:49,230 --> 00:20:50,230
I'd rather not.
725
00:20:50,230 --> 00:20:52,530
Come on.
Okay.
726
00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:54,360
Boyle, release him.
727
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,600
Fine, only because
you're ordering me to.
728
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,140
There's nine minutes left
on that hug.
729
00:20:58,140 --> 00:20:59,440
Great.
730
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,000
Heh.
731
00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:02,410
Nice job in Quebec.
732
00:21:02,410 --> 00:21:04,880
I bet the local cops weren't
happy you showed them up.
733
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:06,210
Yeah, well, maybe not at first.
734
00:21:06,210 --> 00:21:09,050
But by the end, they kept
calling me a real bâtard,
735
00:21:09,050 --> 00:21:10,750
which I can only assume
means "hero."
736
00:21:10,750 --> 00:21:11,980
It means "bastard,"
737
00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:13,680
but that's only
because they were jealous.
738
00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:14,850
You did good work.
739
00:21:14,850 --> 00:21:15,850
Here.
740
00:21:15,850 --> 00:21:17,290
Is this an allowance?
741
00:21:17,290 --> 00:21:18,520
Are you giving me an allowance?
742
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:20,460
No, I'm paying the bartender
for more drinks.
743
00:21:20,460 --> 00:21:21,590
Oh, right.
744
00:21:22,860 --> 00:21:23,860
I'm proud of you.
745
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,430
(Charles)
Nine minutes start now!
745
00:21:29,305 --> 00:22:29,469
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