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1
00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:03,629
All right, girls,
what we rehearsed.
2
00:00:03,712 --> 00:00:06,089
Drums.
3
00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:16,433
Hey.
4
00:00:24,316 --> 00:00:26,151
Girl, we sound mad good.
5
00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:30,155
She's an icon.
6
00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:31,573
She's a legend.
7
00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:33,408
She's an icon.
8
00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:35,494
She's a legend.
9
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,038
"It is a truth
universally acknowledged
10
00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:40,874
"that a single man
in possession of a good fortune"
11
00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:43,085
"must be in want of a wife."
12
00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:46,838
You know who said that?
Jane Austen, the queen.
13
00:00:46,922 --> 00:00:48,298
Fucking shit.
14
00:00:50,509 --> 00:00:53,220
Pretty dope way to start a story,
right?
15
00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:57,307
Well, no offense to my girl, Jane, but
that sounds like some hetero nonsense.
16
00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:01,270
Listen, I don't know much
about a good fortune,
17
00:01:01,353 --> 00:01:05,399
but not every single man
is looking for a wife.
18
00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:06,608
Hey.
19
00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:08,193
Oh.
20
00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:09,945
Hey, you.
21
00:01:10,696 --> 00:01:12,573
You're still here, which is awesome.
22
00:01:12,656 --> 00:01:15,367
- Except, um, you have to leave.
- Sorry, what?
23
00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:17,578
No, listen, last night was fun.
24
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,663
She's an icon.
25
00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:21,540
But seriously, you gotta go.
26
00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:26,795
Yeah, I know that looked a little harsh,
but he had boyfriend energy,
27
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,380
and that is just not me.
28
00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:31,174
Besides, this week is sacred.
29
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:34,177
We're going to Fire Island.
It's like gay Disney World.
30
00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:35,387
Fun for the whole family...
31
00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:36,722
Come on. Hurry up!
32
00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:40,851
- Except when I say family...
- Get on the boat!
33
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,020
- I think about those faggots.
- Let's go!
34
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:45,606
Please don't cancel me.
I'm reclaiming it.
35
00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:48,066
To me, it just means, um, sisters.
36
00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:51,236
- Stupid bitch, Noah. Every year.
- I made it, didn't I?
37
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,864
- How? You missed every train.
- I took a Lyft.
38
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:56,825
What, from Bushwick?
What is that? Like, a $300 ride?
39
00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:59,620
- How are you paying for this?
- You finally start a OnlyFans?
40
00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:01,121
It's called a credit card, idiot.
41
00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:03,373
You've literally never
made a student loan payment,
42
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:04,916
who would give you a credit card?
43
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,210
Amanda at Forever 21.
44
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,295
- Amanda.
- Oh, my God.
45
00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:09,796
So, yeah, we're poor.
46
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,006
Not, like, poor-poor,
47
00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:14,926
but poor as in none of us have a chance
in hell of buying property, ever?
48
00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:16,845
But this is what brought us together.
49
00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:18,513
We all met almost ten years ago
50
00:02:18,597 --> 00:02:21,391
working at the same cursed
brunch spot in Williamsburg.
51
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:24,227
Bottomless mimosas, bitches!
52
00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:27,981
Back then, we were broke queers,
53
00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:30,859
subsisting off of predatory
student loans and brunch tips.
54
00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:31,943
Come here, baby.
55
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,488
- That's Luke and Keegan.
- Oh! That's good.
56
00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:35,947
They met in theater school.
57
00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:38,450
They were both eventually
kicked out of the program,
58
00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:40,577
but they're still convinced
they're stars.
59
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:41,953
Yes!
60
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:43,955
There's sweet Max.
61
00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:45,582
Can you guys be a little quiet?
62
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:48,251
Super smart,
but he can be a little uptight.
63
00:02:48,794 --> 00:02:51,171
He claims he doesn't
come on this trip to hook up,
64
00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:53,674
but he puts out in the Meat Rack
just like the rest of us.
65
00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:55,175
It's really coming together.
66
00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:57,386
And then there's Howie.
67
00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:59,721
The best of us on almost every level.
68
00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:01,390
He deserted me a few years ago
69
00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:03,725
for some cush start-up job
in San Francisco,
70
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:06,728
but he still makes it back
every year for this trip.
71
00:03:06,812 --> 00:03:09,147
Our bond goes a little deeper
than everyone else's
72
00:03:09,231 --> 00:03:13,360
for complex, spiritual reasons.
And, well...
73
00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:16,571
Jackie Chan, hey.
Can I get another refill here, bud?
74
00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:19,866
All the obvious ones, too.
75
00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:25,872
Yeah, well, looks like it's that time.
76
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:28,709
A lot of people on Twitter think
77
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,502
body positivity
has actually gone too far.
78
00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:31,586
Uh-huh.
79
00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:34,423
Why would you conform to
this community's toxic body standards?
80
00:03:34,506 --> 00:03:36,717
Whatever. I'm still invisible
to most of these people.
81
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:40,053
- What does that make me?
- No fats, no fems, no Asians.
82
00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:42,055
Noah, you still two out of the three.
83
00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:44,349
Bitchy, yes, but not wrong.
84
00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:48,019
In our community,
money isn't the only form of currency.
85
00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:51,022
Race, masculinity, abs,
86
00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:53,692
just few of the metrics
we use to separate ourselves
87
00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:55,527
into upper and lower classes.
88
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:58,071
Of course,
I don't care about all that shit, but,
89
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:01,283
what can I say? I'm a class traitor.
90
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:04,411
And this why straight people hate us.
91
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:09,458
I mean, also, heteronormativity,
Judeo-Christian pathology, anal.
92
00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:11,585
Whatever. Who cares what they think?
93
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:13,670
We're not gonna see one
for a fucking week.
94
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,548
Whoo!
95
00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:18,133
Ah!
96
00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:19,342
Yes!
97
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,807
I forgot how far away the house is.
98
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,350
- Hey.
- Hi, guys.
99
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:09,434
Hey.
100
00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:12,813
- Stop being weird.
- Okay, it's a nice human gesture.
101
00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:17,526
Hey. How are you guys?
102
00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:19,444
No, thanks.
103
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:22,864
This place is so toxic.
104
00:05:22,948 --> 00:05:25,200
Why? Because of those guys? Fuck them.
105
00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:28,286
As far as I'm concerned,
we are the hottest people here.
106
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:31,623
Luke's right. Why would you say hello
to someone you don't wanna fuck?
107
00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:34,417
Because fucking isn't
the only reason some people come here.
108
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,837
No, that is the only reason
that you come here.
109
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:39,589
No, I also come here to read.
I contain multitudes.
110
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:42,217
She thinks that makes her
less of a whore than the rest of us.
111
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:44,094
No, I just know who I am,
that's empowering.
112
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:45,846
Besides, anybody can fuck
on Fire Island.
113
00:05:45,929 --> 00:05:46,972
Okay,
114
00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,723
the only reason you don't is because...
115
00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:51,268
I'm sorry,
that was an involuntary response.
116
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:52,602
I'm fine. Seriously.
117
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:57,274
It's actually a logistical
nightmare to fuck on this island.
118
00:05:57,357 --> 00:06:00,402
At least, if you wanna do it indoors,
you know, no privacy anywhere.
119
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:02,445
That's what the outdoors are for, girl.
120
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:03,822
Ew, have you heard of ticks?
121
00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:06,116
Okay, how about their best friend?
Lyme disease.
122
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,200
- No.
- I'm serious.
123
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:10,745
Bitch! I knew I smelled some bottoms.
124
00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:13,915
- You bitch.
- Little bitch!
125
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,459
And that is Erin.
126
00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:19,170
The last member
of our makeshift little family.
127
00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:24,050
Career brunch server,
age unknown, lesbian scam queen.
128
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:29,180
Five years ago, she made a mini fortune
after she ate a piece of glass
129
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:32,475
at a major Italian chain restaurant
and won a huge settlement.
130
00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:37,230
She even got a little tattoo
above her vagina that says,
131
00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:39,024
"All-you-can-eat salad."
132
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:44,154
- Come on, Keegan, let's go, baby.
- Okay!
133
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:47,908
First thing she did with the money
was buy a little house on the island.
134
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:50,118
She invites us
to stay with her every year.
135
00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:51,995
Welcome home, little chickadees.
136
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:53,705
Cover it with your whole body.
137
00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:54,789
This is ours.
138
00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:57,000
Baby, use your mass.
Plan this shit, girl.
139
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:58,627
In exchange, we let her believe
140
00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:01,296
she's the closest thing
any of us have to a mother.
141
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:04,925
It feels like
it gets smaller every year.
142
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:07,218
Are you kidding me? It's perfect.
143
00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:09,304
For me at least, it's sort of true.
144
00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:10,430
Welcome home.
145
00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:24,986
Coming here was a mistake.
146
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:27,405
I can't believe
you talked me into this again.
147
00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:31,076
What the fuck are you talking about?
I only see you on FaceTime now.
148
00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:33,912
No, I'm serious.
We used to come here to be...
149
00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:36,623
Gay and stupid.
150
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:38,416
And now...
151
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:41,086
I come here,
I just feel terminally alone.
152
00:07:41,169 --> 00:07:43,797
Alone? Look around.
We're literally swimming in dick.
153
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:48,385
No, I don't mean like that.
I mean, like, existentially lonely.
154
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:51,012
I mean, here, in S. F.,
I've never had a boyfriend.
155
00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:52,222
Oh, God.
156
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,683
Monogamy industrial complex
rears its ugly head.
157
00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:57,435
I've never had a boyfriend either
and I'm fuckin' awesome.
158
00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:59,896
- Yeah, well, I'm not you.
- You could be.
159
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,898
You just have to get laid
once in a while.
160
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:04,401
- Oh, fuck off.
- No, I'm serious. I mean, why not?
161
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:05,944
You're cute, you're funny,
162
00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:09,072
you're consistently the least repellent
to men out of all of us.
163
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,740
I mean, let me be your wingman.
164
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:14,369
Everybody should fuck on Fire Island
at least once. It's like our birthright.
165
00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:16,496
Why is this so important to you?
166
00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:18,873
- Oh, my God, you've never had sex.
- Noah.
167
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:21,793
Fine.
168
00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:25,046
Do you remember when we met?
169
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:28,967
I was, like,
a completely different person back then.
170
00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:32,470
Felt invisible all the time,
I was miserable.
171
00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:36,808
And then we came out here.
And, I don't know, something clicked.
172
00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:41,062
You know, I realized how much power
I was giving away to other people
173
00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:44,607
to make me feel a certain way
and I took it all back.
174
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:50,155
Started to do some self-improvement,
and my whole life changed.
175
00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:53,158
Babe, you don't need a boyfriend.
176
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:55,660
You need to learn
how to protect yourself more,
177
00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:58,121
'cause this romance bullshit
is making you vulnerable,
178
00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,456
you're like an open wound.
179
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,458
Yeah, but I want the romance bullshit.
180
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:05,420
I like the rom-com stuff,
like, kissing in the rain
181
00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:09,716
and standing outside my window
with a boombox
182
00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:13,386
or confessing things in a gazebo.
What's wrong with that?
183
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:16,556
Nothing, it's just shit like that
doesn't happen in real life.
184
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:20,018
The only real thing is you and me.
185
00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:21,895
Fuck the rest.
186
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:31,071
Fine. If you're so invested in this,
I will try and get laid.
187
00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:32,197
Yes!
188
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,866
But I have to be attracted to him.
189
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:37,494
- He has to be nice to me.
- Okay.
190
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,913
And no weird fetishes.
I'm not letting some guy
191
00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:42,749
stick his foot in my ass
just so I can say I got some.
192
00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:46,169
Okay, a little kink-shamey,
but point taken.
193
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:47,378
No settling.
194
00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:51,466
You are gonna have missionary,
195
00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:54,385
vanilla sex with the man of...
196
00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:57,055
- Men of your dreams.
- Oh.
197
00:09:57,138 --> 00:10:01,059
And, literally, I'm not even gonna look
at another guy till you get laid, okay?
198
00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:04,521
I'm serious. My only mission this week
is to make sure you're happy,
199
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,357
that you know I know everything
and that I'm always right.
200
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,484
Yeah, that definitely
won't come back to fuck me.
201
00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:10,944
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
202
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,446
When is she gonna do what she said?
203
00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:15,949
Put in a hot tub.
They know now that they kill STls.
204
00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:17,659
That's just a known fact in science.
205
00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:19,911
Yeah,
you're putting our health at risk.
206
00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:21,830
Are you guys complaining right now?
207
00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:24,415
We're literally in paradise.
Let's go talk to cute boys.
208
00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:26,459
I think
I just saw a tick in my room.
209
00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:32,924
- No!
- That's dumb.
210
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:41,516
Okay. You know what?
This is a good thing.
211
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:45,937
This is, um...
This is a positive development for me.
212
00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:47,647
Don't try and spin this.
213
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:50,316
It'll give you the opportunity
to unplug from social media.
214
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,068
What will I look at when I shit?
215
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,236
Did you get AppleCare?
216
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:56,197
Dad says if you don't get AppleCare,
you only have yourself to blame.
217
00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:59,450
What about me having
an iPhone 6 Plus in 2022
218
00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:01,452
makes you think I can afford AppleCare?
219
00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:03,705
Girl, just get Mommy Erin
to buy you a new one.
220
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,081
Don't be gross.
221
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:09,127
Unless you can.
I mean, if you... Never mind.
222
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:11,880
- I'm just kidding. That was just a joke.
- Oh, no.
223
00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:14,007
It's not about the phone.
224
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,133
It's everything.
225
00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:18,178
Girls, I have some terrible news.
226
00:11:19,053 --> 00:11:20,722
We're broke.
227
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,932
What? How is that possible?
228
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,310
You know me,
I've never been good with money.
229
00:11:25,393 --> 00:11:27,270
I was an early investor in Quibi.
230
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:29,898
This house is the only good investment
I ever made.
231
00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:32,192
Which is why I have to sell it.
232
00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:34,444
- You're not.
- Sell the house?
233
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,487
- It's my home.
- This doesn't make sense.
234
00:11:36,571 --> 00:11:38,781
- Girl, I'm sorry.
- Oh, my God.
235
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:41,117
- This is our last summer.
- Just stop.
236
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:44,078
Don't be ridiculous.
The island's always gonna be here.
237
00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:46,873
- Except the whole climate change thing.
- Okay.
238
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:48,291
You don't need me.
239
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:49,500
Yeah, I do.
240
00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:52,754
I mean, personally, I need all of you...
241
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:56,257
It wouldn't be the same
if we didn't come together.
242
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,886
- You're gonna make me cry.
- Don't cry.
243
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:04,515
Okay, enough.
Enough of this. It's all right.
244
00:12:04,599 --> 00:12:06,893
We still have this week.
245
00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:12,065
So, let's pull ourselves together
and get ready for tea.
246
00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:13,608
- Let's go get to tea.
- Okay.
247
00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:15,860
- You're right.
- We're doing tea.
248
00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:16,945
One week.
249
00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:19,280
Can I trade
a Crest Whitestrip for a PrEP pill?
250
00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:21,908
- I got you.
- I need to change the mood.
251
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,503
Guess I better make
this week count, huh?
252
00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:54,065
Back when it was all but illegal
for us to exist, the "Tea Dance,"
253
00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:56,401
as it was called back then,
was a discreet way for us
254
00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:58,945
to gather and dance
without getting arrested.
255
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:03,741
Tea has evolved a lot
since those early days.
256
00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:06,703
But when it comes to sex,
257
00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:10,164
some things never change.
258
00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:15,211
Are you guys seriously
on Grindr right now?
259
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,463
- Look where we are.
- Okay, Miss Bitch.
260
00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:19,716
If you had a phone,
you'd be Grind-ing as well.
261
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,677
This isn't what the Gay Liberation Front
envisioned for us.
262
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,554
Other than the Charli XCX remix,
263
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,597
this is exactly
what they envisioned for us.
264
00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:29,142
Seriously, what is the point
of Gay Liberation
265
00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:33,229
if we can't feel a little liberated?
266
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,564
She's spinning!
267
00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:37,692
The season has begun!
268
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:39,235
Twirl!
269
00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:42,113
Spinning!
270
00:13:44,615 --> 00:13:45,742
Don't look now,
271
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:48,828
but I think this guy over here
is a little obsessed with you.
272
00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:50,121
What? Him?
273
00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:54,042
- Who you looking at?
- Are we checking someone out?
274
00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:56,753
Oh, my God.
Back it up, I'll take all three.
275
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:59,839
Yeah, they can definitely tell
we're looking at them now.
276
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,676
Did he just wave?
277
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:05,094
Yeah. And smiled.
278
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,305
That wouldn't be settling, right?
Be right back.
279
00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:09,974
- What are you doing?
- Getting us a couple of drinks.
280
00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:12,310
Girl, they are hot.
281
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:14,062
I don't wanna push too hard,
282
00:14:14,145 --> 00:14:17,023
but the sooner Howie lets go
of his insecurities and gets laid,
283
00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:18,483
the sooner I can get laid.
284
00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:23,529
- Hey.
- Howdy.
285
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:25,198
Oh, God. Hi.
286
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:27,909
Couldn't help notice
you lookin' at me earlier.
287
00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:31,829
- No. I wasn't looking at you.
- I'm Moses. Are you Korean?
288
00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:34,082
You look Korean. I have a sense.
289
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,376
Let me get your drink.
290
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:39,879
No. My boyfriend here, he's gonna...
He's gonna grab it for us.
291
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:42,590
I'm sorry, I'm not sure
I understand what's going on.
292
00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:43,716
Honey.
293
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:46,594
Are you Filipino? You look Filipino.
294
00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:49,097
I'm gonna go.
295
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,059
Two Shirley Temples, please.
296
00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:56,396
Okay, somebody else has
to go and get the drinks.
297
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:59,190
- What are we looking at?
- Erin found that guy's Instagram.
298
00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:00,691
Okay, that's frightening.
299
00:15:00,775 --> 00:15:01,984
I hope he's cool though,
300
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,737
'cause his friend
turned out to be kind of a dud!
301
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:06,864
Private Instagram? What's he hiding?
302
00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:10,243
We know his name is Charlie,
and he's got a dog emoji
303
00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:13,621
and a plant emoji and a stethoscope
emoji. What a riddle.
304
00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:16,332
We'll solve that later
'cause they're leaving.
305
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,875
- What are you doing?
- Trust me.
306
00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:19,210
Said that he was cute.
307
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:22,171
Noah, it's fine.
308
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,215
- Oh, my God.
- She fell.
309
00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:26,634
What is your fucking problem?
310
00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:28,344
Whoa. Are you all right?
311
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,305
It's fine. It happens...
312
00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:32,849
All the time.
313
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,600
Does it really?
314
00:15:34,684 --> 00:15:36,561
You must have very strong bones.
315
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,230
Just my knees, I guess.
316
00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:41,941
Oh, God.
317
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:44,652
Oh, God, that does not sound right.
Sorry.
318
00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:49,115
Um, were you guys going?
Because we were gonna catch the sunset.
319
00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:50,867
So weird. We were, too.
320
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,453
Oh, great. I'm Charlie, by the way.
321
00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:54,787
- We know.
- What?
322
00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:56,497
Never mind. Just keep walking.
323
00:15:57,915 --> 00:16:01,127
Uh, do you want some whiskey?
It would help with your knees.
324
00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:03,671
You can trust me. I'm a doctor.
325
00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:14,640
Look like they're strawberries.
326
00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:16,350
- You know?
- That's a classic.
327
00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:17,435
What are those called?
328
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:18,978
- Strawberries.
- They are good.
329
00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:21,439
Look at those two.
Absolutely perfect.
330
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:24,775
Except for one small thing.
331
00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:26,694
Hey, sorry. What do you do again?
332
00:16:28,571 --> 00:16:30,865
The friends.
That's problem number one.
333
00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:33,951
I do graphic design for this start-up.
334
00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:37,622
Cooper, who told us immediately
that he's a brand manager.
335
00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:38,748
Whatever that is.
336
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:42,710
And I'm a big, powerful lawyer like
Christine Baranski in The Good Wife.
337
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:44,545
Seriously?
338
00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:46,923
No. Christine is the only lawyer
I trust.
339
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:48,633
The rest of them are all pretty evil.
340
00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:51,802
Oh. Uh, actually, Will is a lawyer.
341
00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:54,931
Problem number two. Will.
342
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:59,268
He's from L. A., super rich, and thinks
he's way better than all of us.
343
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:00,853
Uh, my bad. Sorry.
344
00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:04,273
I'm just a nurse, you know?
345
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,901
Essential services. Saving lives.
346
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:10,738
- Uh, what concentration? Trauma...
- Oh, no. Free clinic for gay sluts.
347
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:12,615
I mostly just weigh people
348
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:15,243
and steal doxycycline
for prophylactic purposes.
349
00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:18,579
- Oh, my God, it's starting. Look alive.
- Okay.
350
00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:22,750
Ten... Nine... Eight...
351
00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:26,879
Seven... Six... Five...
352
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,589
- Five...
- Five...
353
00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:30,174
Five...
354
00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:32,635
- Four...
- Four, point five...
355
00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:35,346
Three...
356
00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:37,974
Two...
357
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:40,601
One...
358
00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:44,730
- Point nine...
- Point nine...
359
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:47,400
- Point eight...
- Point seven...
360
00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:49,402
- Point six...
- Point five...
361
00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:51,070
- Point four...
- Point three...
362
00:17:51,195 --> 00:17:52,530
Point two...
363
00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:57,535
That was better than last time.
364
00:17:57,618 --> 00:18:00,788
- I'm proud of you, girl. You set.
- Congratulations, everyone.
365
00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:05,126
- We love her. Love that girl.
- I'll see you tomorrow, girl.
366
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:07,378
Um, it's just a stupid bit
we like to do.
367
00:18:07,461 --> 00:18:09,630
It's funny. You're funny.
368
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:17,722
Well, it was nice meeting you,
and I'll see you around the island.
369
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:19,015
Yeah, totally.
370
00:18:21,726 --> 00:18:24,353
What the fuck are you doing?
Wanna get fucked or not?
371
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:25,438
I mean, not really.
372
00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:28,608
Plus, he's, like, a super-hot doctor.
And I'm...
373
00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:32,028
Do not finish that sentence.
You are a prize to be won, okay?
374
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,904
So get over there, seal the deal.
375
00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:35,364
Sorry.
376
00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:36,991
Wow. Um...
377
00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:41,162
Hey, would you boys like to come
to sort of like an after-party at ours?
378
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:42,663
It's very chill, just like
379
00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:44,915
- wine and a hot tub.
- Oh.
380
00:18:44,999 --> 00:18:47,585
We actually would love to,
but we gotta check with our house,
381
00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:50,421
'cause I think we have other plans,
but we'd love to fit you in.
382
00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:53,841
Okay, so there's a soft plan to go
to their house for a hot tub thing.
383
00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:56,677
- Yes. A hot tub!
- What? Hot tub?
384
00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:59,513
- Hot tub. Hot tub. Hot...
- Everybody shut up!
385
00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:00,890
- Shh, stop.
- Yes.
386
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,558
- Absolutely.
- Hell yeah.
387
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,352
- Be chill about it.
- Okay.
388
00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:06,646
Yeah, that should work for us.
389
00:19:07,438 --> 00:19:10,024
I really don't think
we needed to bring anything.
390
00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:12,026
And if you did wanna bring something,
391
00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:14,070
a full bottle of wine
would've been the play.
392
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,364
Are you crazy?
I just told you we're broke.
393
00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:19,408
Wait. Do they have a house on the beach?
394
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:22,244
Well, we can't go over there.
We are literal trash.
395
00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:24,914
- I'm sure their house is like ours...
- We're here.
396
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:29,794
Yeah, we definitely
can't bring that in here.
397
00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:32,129
Oh, my God.
398
00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:35,925
A lot of people think you have to
be successful, white and rich
399
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:39,136
with seven percent body fat
to vacation on Fire Island.
400
00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:41,847
Those people are all at this party.
401
00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:44,684
Excuse me. Can we help you?
402
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:47,395
That's code.
He does not wanna help us.
403
00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:50,523
Yeah. Hi. Is Charlie here?
404
00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:53,192
I think you may have the wrong house.
405
00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:54,902
Why would you think that?
406
00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:57,113
Oh, my God.
407
00:19:58,072 --> 00:20:00,241
- You all.
- You know them?
408
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,034
Of course.
409
00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:04,453
They're the cute little friends
we made at tea.
410
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:08,416
And "cute little friends" is code
for not a fuckable one in the bunch.
411
00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:10,876
Get up here.
Don't be rude, Braden.
412
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,462
- Get up here, he says.
- Such a bad girl.
413
00:20:14,296 --> 00:20:17,967
Hey, you guys smell good.
Abercrombie & Fitch Fierce?
414
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:19,218
Good stuff.
415
00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:20,428
We should talk later.
416
00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:23,305
These stairs is nice.
Bitch, I feel like we're plus one.
417
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,808
What's the address?
I wanna order thousands of 'em.
418
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:26,892
How you doing?
419
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:29,478
Bitch, you're on snacks. I'm on drinks.
420
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:30,563
- Go.
- Okay.
421
00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:31,897
- A shot, please.
- I got this.
422
00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:33,649
- Let me just do it.
- I was a bartender.
423
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,693
- You were a bar-back.
- Semantics.
424
00:20:36,277 --> 00:20:39,071
You wanna slow down.
It's like night one. Jesus.
425
00:20:39,155 --> 00:20:41,741
Excuse me, Dad.
Did you not hear Erin before?
426
00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:44,452
- We have to make the most of this night.
- Fair point.
427
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:48,831
Oh, my God.
Bitch. Look at all of this cheese.
428
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:50,916
Bring that here.
I can use that as a garnish.
429
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,043
Guess you guys aren't bottoming tonight.
430
00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:56,839
Actually, I'm one of the cleanest
ever, I've been told, bottom-wise.
431
00:20:58,215 --> 00:20:59,633
Can you cut limes right now?
432
00:20:59,717 --> 00:21:01,719
- Cut limes?
- We can handle knives, right?
433
00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:03,053
Yeah, why not?
434
00:21:03,137 --> 00:21:05,181
He starts, Gays in Space.
435
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:08,142
And Jason Bateman
is surprisingly a good gay person.
436
00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:09,477
In like a very happy way.
437
00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:12,772
- You have to see it. It's like...
- Okay.
438
00:21:12,855 --> 00:21:15,983
- Really important.
- Hey, guys. What'd I miss?
439
00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:19,779
I was just explaining this SNL sketch.
He's never seen Gays in Space.
440
00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:23,365
Honestly, the way you explained it,
I don't even wanna watch the sketch now.
441
00:21:23,449 --> 00:21:25,826
- You should probably watch the sketch.
- I refuse to.
442
00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:27,328
- Why are you being...
- Adamantly.
443
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:30,915
Charlie. Have you seen Will?
I can't find him. He's hiding.
444
00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:33,125
Oh. Um...
445
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:37,546
No, I haven't. But, uh... If you will
excuse me, I'll be right back.
446
00:21:40,216 --> 00:21:43,469
Cooper, have you heard of Gays in Space?
447
00:21:43,552 --> 00:21:45,554
Is that like Spaceballs?
448
00:21:48,557 --> 00:21:51,769
Girl, please tell me you have not spent
the entire conversation
449
00:21:51,852 --> 00:21:53,729
walking him through old SNL sketches.
450
00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:57,358
Shut up. It's a classic.
But, no, it's been nice.
451
00:21:58,067 --> 00:22:00,778
He's a pediatrician,
isn't that so adorable?
452
00:22:00,861 --> 00:22:04,156
Sure. But is he a top or bottom,
does he eat ass, is he on PrEP?
453
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,158
Have you gained no vital information?
454
00:22:06,242 --> 00:22:10,788
It's not like that.
I think he just likes talking to me.
455
00:22:10,871 --> 00:22:12,790
Then what the fuck are we doing here?
456
00:22:12,873 --> 00:22:15,501
These people are not our people.
I was talking to one of them.
457
00:22:15,584 --> 00:22:18,045
He thinks Lindsey Graham
was in The Parent Trap.
458
00:22:18,128 --> 00:22:19,171
Yikes.
459
00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:20,714
I gotta pee.
460
00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:29,640
Lindsey Graham in The Parent Trap.
I would watch that.
461
00:22:44,738 --> 00:22:45,739
Hmm.
462
00:22:46,657 --> 00:22:48,826
Let's see what Charlie's working with.
463
00:22:48,909 --> 00:22:51,996
He hasn't asked me for drugs.
It just feels special.
464
00:22:52,079 --> 00:22:54,748
And he is nothing like Rhys,
I will say that for him.
465
00:22:54,832 --> 00:22:57,710
Yeah, well, you just met him,
so it's kind of hard to know.
466
00:22:57,793 --> 00:23:00,671
He hasn't asked me
what I'm into one time.
467
00:23:00,754 --> 00:23:02,298
It's so nice.
468
00:23:02,381 --> 00:23:05,885
Okay. I'm just saying
you've been single for what? A month?
469
00:23:05,968 --> 00:23:09,388
Calm down.
I think that he's cute and funny.
470
00:23:09,471 --> 00:23:10,931
- Great.
- That's all I said.
471
00:23:11,015 --> 00:23:14,935
Translation.
He wants to dick my friend down.
472
00:23:15,019 --> 00:23:17,438
- What about his friends?
- They're nice.
473
00:23:17,521 --> 00:23:19,857
They're clearly using us
for free liquor.
474
00:23:19,940 --> 00:23:21,901
Have you seen the way they're drinking?
475
00:23:21,984 --> 00:23:25,738
Okay, yeah.
They're a little quirky, but, um...
476
00:23:26,530 --> 00:23:28,574
- What about Noah?
- He's fine.
477
00:23:29,033 --> 00:23:31,827
He's not hot enough
to be that annoying, though.
478
00:23:31,911 --> 00:23:34,955
I'm so glad I invited you.
You're always so positive.
479
00:23:35,039 --> 00:23:36,332
Why am I here, Charlie?
480
00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:39,168
Because Cooper's just
a family friend,
481
00:23:39,251 --> 00:23:41,378
and I wanted a real friend with me.
482
00:23:41,670 --> 00:23:42,671
Is that so bad?
483
00:23:42,755 --> 00:23:44,590
I want you to be careful, that's all.
484
00:23:44,673 --> 00:23:47,801
You're a good person, and people
take advantage of that all the time.
485
00:23:47,885 --> 00:23:49,845
Especially the kind of people
that come here.
486
00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:51,180
What does that mean?
487
00:23:51,263 --> 00:23:55,726
This place is a playground
for superficial, vapid morons.
488
00:23:56,727 --> 00:23:59,939
Will, promise me
you'll try to have a good time.
489
00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:03,400
Okay.
490
00:24:12,034 --> 00:24:15,329
- Everything has buckles on it now.
- Shade is good on him. It's his color.
491
00:24:15,412 --> 00:24:17,498
- We were just talking about you.
- Oh, I know.
492
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:21,460
Yeah, they were wondering
where you got your Speedo from.
493
00:24:21,543 --> 00:24:24,046
It's so cute. Did you get it on Amazon?
494
00:24:24,129 --> 00:24:27,967
No, it's an heirloom.
It's been in my family for generations.
495
00:24:28,050 --> 00:24:30,344
- What?
- Mine's this little boutique brand.
496
00:24:30,427 --> 00:24:33,263
- You probably haven't heard of them.
- Is it Charlie?
497
00:24:33,347 --> 00:24:36,850
Because it says "Charlie"
in big, bold letters on your ass.
498
00:24:36,976 --> 00:24:39,436
I'm sorry, am I being annoying?
499
00:24:40,062 --> 00:24:42,940
- Yeah.
- We have a problem.
500
00:24:47,569 --> 00:24:49,697
Are they bringing cheese
into the hot tub?
501
00:24:49,780 --> 00:24:51,699
So sorry.
We'll take them home right now.
502
00:24:51,782 --> 00:24:53,450
No, you stay. We got this, right?
503
00:24:53,534 --> 00:24:57,037
Absolutely. Thank you.
We had such a great time.
504
00:24:57,121 --> 00:24:59,373
Wonderful party.
505
00:24:59,665 --> 00:25:02,334
Put that brie down!
No, not in the water!
506
00:25:02,418 --> 00:25:04,878
Hey, what is going on with you tonight?
507
00:25:05,796 --> 00:25:08,173
Listen. Do you like that guy?
Is he nice to you?
508
00:25:08,257 --> 00:25:11,176
Has he expressed
any interest in kinky sex?
509
00:25:11,260 --> 00:25:13,178
Yes. Yes. No.
510
00:25:13,262 --> 00:25:15,597
Then it doesn't matter
what's going on with me.
511
00:25:15,681 --> 00:25:16,682
You got this.
512
00:25:18,350 --> 00:25:20,394
But whatever you do,
do not let these people think
513
00:25:20,477 --> 00:25:23,063
they are better than us,
because at the end...
514
00:25:24,356 --> 00:25:25,649
That is nasty.
515
00:25:26,483 --> 00:25:27,818
Damn, bitch.
516
00:25:30,738 --> 00:25:34,033
One of them stole this speaker.
I don't know where it goes.
517
00:25:34,700 --> 00:25:36,035
Disgusting.
518
00:25:36,118 --> 00:25:37,327
Never mind.
519
00:25:37,411 --> 00:25:39,329
Girl, get that shit out.
520
00:25:39,413 --> 00:25:40,622
He's on PrEP.
521
00:25:40,706 --> 00:25:42,583
- You okay?
- Oh, my God, no.
522
00:25:42,666 --> 00:25:44,626
- Party's over, babe.
- Come on.
523
00:25:44,710 --> 00:25:46,336
- I threw up.
- I told you.
524
00:25:46,420 --> 00:25:49,339
I puked. Yes. Thank you.
525
00:25:49,423 --> 00:25:51,675
Just think about
how skinny you will be, girl.
526
00:25:51,759 --> 00:25:54,136
You guys ever see Gays in Space?
527
00:25:54,219 --> 00:25:56,388
They hate me now!
528
00:26:05,355 --> 00:26:06,648
That's my girl.
529
00:26:11,487 --> 00:26:13,447
Hey, did Howie make it home last night?
530
00:26:13,530 --> 00:26:15,240
No, if you can believe it.
531
00:26:15,324 --> 00:26:16,408
That little whore.
532
00:26:16,492 --> 00:26:20,370
Our little Howie with a doctor. It'll be
like having health insurance again.
533
00:26:20,454 --> 00:26:22,706
Okay, chill out.
It's just a one-night thing.
534
00:26:22,790 --> 00:26:25,334
Yeah, like, we don't even know
if anything happened.
535
00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:27,711
- Maybe they killed him.
- Okay. Don't be bitter.
536
00:26:27,795 --> 00:26:31,673
- Did anybody bother to text him?
- I did. But it went to green.
537
00:26:31,757 --> 00:26:33,050
Maybe Keegan's right.
538
00:26:33,133 --> 00:26:36,011
Although, you are more likely
to get murdered in your own home.
539
00:26:36,095 --> 00:26:38,263
- It's why I never host.
- Fuck. Uh...
540
00:26:38,972 --> 00:26:40,808
You know what? I bet his phone died.
541
00:26:40,891 --> 00:26:41,892
I'll go get him.
542
00:26:52,069 --> 00:26:54,321
Excuse me. Um, can we help you?
543
00:26:54,404 --> 00:26:56,198
Seriously, this again?
544
00:26:56,281 --> 00:26:57,783
Oh, my God. Howie?
545
00:26:58,325 --> 00:27:00,119
Oh, my God. Hi.
546
00:27:00,828 --> 00:27:03,455
See, Braden, I'm a friend.
Is Howie still here?
547
00:27:04,039 --> 00:27:06,166
He is, poor thing.
548
00:27:06,250 --> 00:27:08,627
I think he drank
a little too much last night.
549
00:27:08,710 --> 00:27:11,296
Top-shelf stuff
hits a little different than well.
550
00:27:11,380 --> 00:27:12,756
Can I go check on him?
551
00:27:16,802 --> 00:27:18,804
Last night, literally last night.
552
00:27:25,769 --> 00:27:26,770
Hey.
553
00:27:27,896 --> 00:27:28,981
You're back.
554
00:27:30,232 --> 00:27:33,068
Yep. Just came to check on my friend.
555
00:27:33,235 --> 00:27:35,988
- Uh, your friend's upstairs, I think.
- Great.
556
00:27:36,321 --> 00:27:37,322
Uh, wait.
557
00:27:42,870 --> 00:27:45,122
Here. He might need this.
558
00:27:45,205 --> 00:27:46,206
Thanks.
559
00:27:46,832 --> 00:27:50,377
I also just wanted to say sorry
about last night.
560
00:27:51,211 --> 00:27:52,838
Braden wasn't super welcoming. So...
561
00:27:52,921 --> 00:27:57,134
- Braden? You're apologizing for Braden?
- I don't understand.
562
00:27:57,217 --> 00:27:59,303
Little tip. The tap water here,
safe to drink.
563
00:27:59,386 --> 00:28:02,472
You don't have to pollute the oceans
or waste your money with bottles.
564
00:28:08,729 --> 00:28:09,730
You're right.
565
00:28:13,692 --> 00:28:14,693
Noted.
566
00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:17,321
Nice.
567
00:28:26,580 --> 00:28:28,165
Look at you, superstar.
568
00:28:29,708 --> 00:28:32,544
I want to die.
569
00:28:32,628 --> 00:28:35,714
What happened? I haven't seen you
like this since your Four Loko days.
570
00:28:35,797 --> 00:28:39,676
I think it's the expensive booze.
Guess my body is used to well.
571
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:42,221
Where are people getting this?
That's not science.
572
00:28:42,304 --> 00:28:44,806
I'm humiliated.
573
00:28:44,890 --> 00:28:46,350
Oh, no.
574
00:28:46,433 --> 00:28:49,728
I take it you didn't make it happen
with the doctor last night?
575
00:28:49,811 --> 00:28:53,148
No. I spent most of the night in here.
576
00:28:53,815 --> 00:28:56,652
But he did stay up with me, though.
577
00:28:56,735 --> 00:28:58,820
Well, that's good.
It means he's into you.
578
00:28:58,904 --> 00:29:01,823
But it is day two. I think we should
start looking into other options.
579
00:29:01,907 --> 00:29:05,535
Yeah. Totally. I'm sure
there's tons of cute guys on this island
580
00:29:05,619 --> 00:29:08,830
who would miss a party to watch me puke.
581
00:29:08,914 --> 00:29:12,251
Well, he is a doctor,
so he sort of has to.
582
00:29:13,835 --> 00:29:14,878
Right.
583
00:29:16,296 --> 00:29:17,839
He did this thing, though,
584
00:29:19,591 --> 00:29:22,469
where he was rubbing my back
while I was sick,
585
00:29:22,552 --> 00:29:25,138
and I don't know how to explain it,
586
00:29:26,765 --> 00:29:29,101
but it felt really intimate.
587
00:29:30,394 --> 00:29:32,020
I don't know. I'm being stupid.
588
00:29:32,104 --> 00:29:34,273
No, you're not being stupid.
It's just...
589
00:29:34,356 --> 00:29:36,817
Don't get sucked into one guy's orbit.
590
00:29:36,900 --> 00:29:37,901
Right.
591
00:29:38,902 --> 00:29:40,028
Knock, knock.
592
00:29:40,112 --> 00:29:42,823
Hi. Sorry.
Will told me you were up here.
593
00:29:42,906 --> 00:29:44,783
I just came to check on our patient.
594
00:29:44,866 --> 00:29:47,786
Well, he's pregnant
and he's not raising this baby alone.
595
00:29:49,246 --> 00:29:50,580
I'm fine.
596
00:29:51,081 --> 00:29:53,583
Thank you again for everything.
597
00:29:53,667 --> 00:29:57,504
Of course. Don't mention it.
Honestly, my back feels incredible.
598
00:29:57,587 --> 00:30:01,091
I might just start sleeping
on the bathroom floor every night.
599
00:30:05,345 --> 00:30:07,097
This is bleak.
600
00:30:07,180 --> 00:30:09,808
Charlie, do you wanna come
and eat dinner at our house tonight?
601
00:30:09,891 --> 00:30:11,310
As, like, a thank you.
602
00:30:12,394 --> 00:30:13,729
You don't have to do that.
603
00:30:13,812 --> 00:30:18,191
Oh, please. You took such
good care of Howie, let us repay you.
604
00:30:18,275 --> 00:30:20,694
Uh, can I invite the rest of my house?
605
00:30:21,361 --> 00:30:22,821
That could be fun, right?
606
00:30:24,948 --> 00:30:26,033
Sure.
607
00:30:26,992 --> 00:30:28,368
The more the merrier.
608
00:30:29,661 --> 00:30:31,830
Why did you spring
a dinner on me like this?
609
00:30:31,913 --> 00:30:33,373
You love throwing dinner parties.
610
00:30:33,457 --> 00:30:35,751
It makes it really stressful
to be friends with you.
611
00:30:35,834 --> 00:30:38,420
For you, I could put out
a platter of uncooked hotdogs
612
00:30:38,503 --> 00:30:40,130
and you kids would eat it right up.
613
00:30:40,213 --> 00:30:42,049
- We wouldn't.
- We can cancel if you want.
614
00:30:42,132 --> 00:30:43,592
I would rather die.
615
00:30:43,675 --> 00:30:45,635
Go to the Pantry. I'll text you a list.
616
00:30:45,719 --> 00:30:50,015
Find anything dented, label-less
or on the brink of expiration.
617
00:30:50,098 --> 00:30:51,933
- Fly, you fools!
- All right.
618
00:30:52,559 --> 00:30:54,603
- All right. Enough. Let's go.
- Let's go.
619
00:30:54,686 --> 00:30:56,355
- Not enough.
- Bitch, where we going?
620
00:30:58,023 --> 00:31:00,984
And for you to charge $11
for one box of Cheez-Its,
621
00:31:01,068 --> 00:31:04,738
which you fully well know
a box of Cheez-Its is on average $7.59
622
00:31:04,821 --> 00:31:06,531
in any store in New York,
623
00:31:06,615 --> 00:31:10,786
and I don't throw this term around
lightly, sweetheart, is homophobic.
624
00:31:10,869 --> 00:31:12,704
Sir, I don't set the prices.
625
00:31:12,788 --> 00:31:14,164
- I don't care.
- Sir...
626
00:31:14,247 --> 00:31:15,248
I'm not done.
627
00:31:15,332 --> 00:31:17,667
I mean, he's not wrong.
The prices here are psychotic.
628
00:31:17,751 --> 00:31:19,836
You can thank capitalism for that,
by the way.
629
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:22,672
Calm down, Bernie Sanders.
I personally love the Pantry.
630
00:31:22,756 --> 00:31:24,883
Small businesses are the lifeblood
of this country.
631
00:31:24,966 --> 00:31:27,094
And also, who says we have to pay?
632
00:31:27,177 --> 00:31:30,013
Yeah, when we lived
above that Whole Foods in college,
633
00:31:30,097 --> 00:31:32,140
we got so good at stealing.
634
00:31:33,141 --> 00:31:36,812
You would not believe how many Kind bars
I can fit in Keegan's ass.
635
00:31:36,895 --> 00:31:38,230
My girl is like a Costco.
636
00:31:38,313 --> 00:31:40,982
Wait, like, in hole
or, like, just between the cheeks?
637
00:31:41,233 --> 00:31:42,317
I don't know.
638
00:31:47,906 --> 00:31:51,576
Um, okay, crazy hot guy
checking you out by the produce.
639
00:31:51,660 --> 00:31:53,495
I saw. But we're not doing me right now,
640
00:31:53,578 --> 00:31:55,539
we're doing you
and that pink hole of yours.
641
00:31:55,622 --> 00:31:58,625
Ew. Stop. Gross. Forget I said anything.
Here, go do something useful
642
00:31:58,708 --> 00:32:01,336
and dent these cans
so we can get a discount.
643
00:32:11,304 --> 00:32:13,390
- Hey.
- It was like this when I found it.
644
00:32:14,683 --> 00:32:15,684
Oh.
645
00:32:15,767 --> 00:32:17,727
Shit. This is humiliating.
646
00:32:19,646 --> 00:32:20,647
It's cool.
647
00:32:22,315 --> 00:32:23,316
Oh.
648
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:26,361
I'm poor, too.
649
00:32:26,987 --> 00:32:28,530
I meant what I said to Howie.
650
00:32:28,613 --> 00:32:30,282
I'm committed to my duties as wingman,
651
00:32:30,365 --> 00:32:32,826
which makes meeting someone
who looks like this...
652
00:32:32,909 --> 00:32:35,370
- You've read The Ethical Slut.
- Yeah, it's formative.
653
00:32:35,454 --> 00:32:36,788
Extremely inconvenient.
654
00:32:36,872 --> 00:32:39,291
It's part of the reason
why I'm so annoying.
655
00:32:39,374 --> 00:32:41,918
That and my parents.
They're so messed up.
656
00:32:42,002 --> 00:32:44,546
It's like, what has heteronormativity
ever done for them?
657
00:32:44,629 --> 00:32:46,631
What are you guys
even talking about over here?
658
00:32:46,715 --> 00:32:48,717
Noah always does this, so...
659
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:49,801
He meets someone fun
660
00:32:49,885 --> 00:32:52,137
and then she scares 'em away
with all her talking.
661
00:32:52,220 --> 00:32:54,473
- Did you have Pedialyte?
- I had...
662
00:32:54,556 --> 00:32:56,141
Who is Howie talking to?
663
00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:58,310
Oh. Them again.
664
00:32:58,435 --> 00:33:00,937
- Oh, shit.
- I'm telling you,
665
00:33:01,021 --> 00:33:02,564
- Pedialyte works.
- Come on.
666
00:33:02,647 --> 00:33:04,858
I know.
It's like Gatorade without the nasty...
667
00:33:04,941 --> 00:33:07,235
- Hello.
- Oh, my goodness.
668
00:33:07,319 --> 00:33:09,988
I hope that you did not
get all this for us.
669
00:33:11,823 --> 00:33:13,033
Hi, Dex!
670
00:33:13,116 --> 00:33:15,410
Wait, how do you guys know Dex?
671
00:33:15,660 --> 00:33:19,456
- Uh, we just met. Is he with you guys?
- No.
672
00:33:19,623 --> 00:33:21,958
We just know
a lot of the same people, I guess.
673
00:33:22,042 --> 00:33:24,044
Yeah, I knew Will back in California.
674
00:33:24,127 --> 00:33:27,923
You didn't strike me as a teeny-tiny-
little-ice-cream-cone sorta guy. Cute.
675
00:33:29,007 --> 00:33:30,008
It's melting.
676
00:33:31,468 --> 00:33:32,469
Huh.
677
00:33:34,471 --> 00:33:38,266
Um, okay. Well, we should get all this
home. We will see you guys at dinner.
678
00:33:38,350 --> 00:33:41,478
- Actually, Dex, why don't you come?
- Yes, you have to.
679
00:33:41,561 --> 00:33:43,563
- Oh, my God, please come.
- Yeah, come.
680
00:33:43,688 --> 00:33:46,274
Yeah, it'll give you
a chance to catch up with Will.
681
00:33:46,358 --> 00:33:48,109
That would be fun, right?
682
00:33:51,696 --> 00:33:53,990
Yeah. Awesome.
683
00:33:54,074 --> 00:33:56,952
Okay, so we really have to go.
Raw chicken, direct sunlight...
684
00:33:57,035 --> 00:33:58,036
Of course.
685
00:33:58,119 --> 00:33:59,538
- Bye.
- We'll see you later.
686
00:33:59,621 --> 00:34:00,705
- Later.
- See you later.
687
00:34:00,789 --> 00:34:02,249
- Bye, Howie.
- Bye, Charlie.
688
00:34:02,332 --> 00:34:04,417
I didn't prepare
for an extra person, but...
689
00:34:04,501 --> 00:34:06,545
What are you up to, you little troll?
690
00:34:06,628 --> 00:34:08,755
I thought I'd make dinner
a little more interesting.
691
00:34:08,838 --> 00:34:10,298
Oh, my God.
692
00:34:18,765 --> 00:34:21,601
Something important to understand
about Fire Island
693
00:34:21,851 --> 00:34:24,646
is that time sort of
works differently here.
694
00:34:26,147 --> 00:34:29,901
For whatever reason,
call it magic or too many drugs,
695
00:34:30,068 --> 00:34:31,236
a full day in the Pines
696
00:34:31,319 --> 00:34:34,906
can equal anywhere between a week
to three months out in the real world.
697
00:34:38,910 --> 00:34:41,162
You can catch feelings
after just one day.
698
00:34:41,246 --> 00:34:45,083
People don't like it when you put
make-up on it. I'm sorry, it's true.
699
00:34:46,501 --> 00:34:48,545
All kinds of feelings.
700
00:34:52,173 --> 00:34:55,010
I really thought every house
on the island had a hot tub.
701
00:34:55,093 --> 00:34:57,053
Yeah, I know, it's crazy, right?
702
00:34:57,137 --> 00:35:00,098
We have a GoFundMe set up,
so fingers crossed, though.
703
00:35:00,181 --> 00:35:02,642
Hi, by the way.
Where is the rest of your house?
704
00:35:02,726 --> 00:35:07,063
Um, yeah. Braden and the boys,
they're feeling a little tired.
705
00:35:07,647 --> 00:35:09,524
Well, thank God you had the energy.
706
00:35:10,483 --> 00:35:13,194
Oh, God. Five minutes
and you've already found a book?
707
00:35:13,278 --> 00:35:14,529
Yeah, that's mine.
708
00:35:15,196 --> 00:35:16,573
You're reading Alice Munro?
709
00:35:16,656 --> 00:35:19,534
Yeah, I blazed through
Animorphs already, so...
710
00:35:19,618 --> 00:35:23,455
No, I... Sorry. I just didn't think
anybody would be reading here.
711
00:35:23,538 --> 00:35:25,707
You're so good.
I always mean to.
712
00:35:25,790 --> 00:35:29,044
Yeah, well, I just do like audio books
and stuff, or a podcast.
713
00:35:29,377 --> 00:35:32,297
What kind of a gay person
goes on vacation to do homework?
714
00:35:32,380 --> 00:35:33,381
A literate one.
715
00:35:35,133 --> 00:35:39,846
You're so funny. You're all so funny.
Very biting, like, um...
716
00:35:40,096 --> 00:35:41,723
Do you know who Amy Schumer is?
717
00:35:41,806 --> 00:35:46,728
Hey, I wanna show you something that
I'm gonna think of when I get inside.
718
00:35:46,811 --> 00:35:48,647
Why don't we go do that?
719
00:35:49,147 --> 00:35:52,025
I'm gonna FaceTime my mom
before I get too fucked up tonight.
720
00:35:52,108 --> 00:35:55,403
I forgot her birthday, again.
What's your Wi-Fi password?
721
00:35:55,487 --> 00:35:58,114
Cherry Jones,
but all the E's are threes.
722
00:36:09,876 --> 00:36:12,587
So, you a big reader?
723
00:36:16,007 --> 00:36:17,092
I am.
724
00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:21,638
"And you,
do you like to read?"
725
00:36:21,721 --> 00:36:24,391
- "I do. Thank you..."
- Excuse me?
726
00:36:24,766 --> 00:36:27,727
That's how conversations work.
Generally, in my experience...
727
00:36:27,811 --> 00:36:30,397
Why would I ask a question
I already know the answer to?
728
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:32,607
Doesn't have to be
that question, specifically.
729
00:36:32,691 --> 00:36:35,694
- Do you really not know how this works?
- What's your favorite story?
730
00:36:37,821 --> 00:36:38,822
Uh...
731
00:36:39,906 --> 00:36:41,908
I don't know. Powers.
732
00:36:45,620 --> 00:36:49,124
It's, um, you know,
it's quintessential Alice.
733
00:36:49,207 --> 00:36:53,712
It's got all the narrative restraint
and beautiful prose
734
00:36:53,795 --> 00:36:57,590
and then, at the same time,
it's this weird departure for her.
735
00:36:57,674 --> 00:36:58,675
Really? How?
736
00:36:59,551 --> 00:37:04,514
Well, normally,
what she writes about is so domestic,
737
00:37:04,597 --> 00:37:06,766
you know,
and then, in this one, she's like,
738
00:37:06,850 --> 00:37:10,061
"Here's this girl with superpowers
and it's crazy like..."
739
00:37:10,145 --> 00:37:12,188
I don't know if that's definitive.
740
00:37:12,272 --> 00:37:15,483
Yeah, it is.
The story is literally called "Powers."
741
00:37:15,567 --> 00:37:16,776
That girl has superpowers.
742
00:37:16,860 --> 00:37:19,904
In terms of the story
that she's actually telling,
743
00:37:19,988 --> 00:37:22,323
I don't think it ultimately matters
if she has powers...
744
00:37:22,407 --> 00:37:24,534
If it ultimately doesn't matter,
why are we arguing?
745
00:37:24,617 --> 00:37:27,162
- I didn't think we were arguing.
- So, let me win.
746
00:37:28,705 --> 00:37:29,748
Okay.
747
00:37:32,167 --> 00:37:33,167
You win.
748
00:37:34,502 --> 00:37:36,796
Somehow I'm mad and horny.
749
00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:40,091
I can't believe you talked me
into showing you.
750
00:37:40,175 --> 00:37:42,802
- I didn't talk you into it...
- Oh, damn.
751
00:37:42,886 --> 00:37:45,138
Howie doesn't normally
show people that sketchbook.
752
00:37:45,221 --> 00:37:47,766
- He must really like your friend.
- I see.
753
00:37:49,851 --> 00:37:50,977
Is there a problem?
754
00:37:52,395 --> 00:37:55,732
I don't know your friend, okay?
But I do know Charlie,
755
00:37:55,815 --> 00:37:58,818
and people tend to mistake
his kindness for affection.
756
00:37:58,902 --> 00:38:00,153
Well, I know Howie
757
00:38:00,236 --> 00:38:03,406
and I think he just wants to show
your friend some doodles, so, chill.
758
00:38:03,490 --> 00:38:05,116
Excuse me, gay community.
759
00:38:06,534 --> 00:38:08,495
Look who we found. The king.
760
00:38:08,578 --> 00:38:11,831
He literally said the funniest thing
ever. Tell 'em, it's so funny.
761
00:38:11,915 --> 00:38:13,917
- I'm not gonna say it.
- Tell 'em now.
762
00:38:14,417 --> 00:38:15,418
Mm.
763
00:38:16,127 --> 00:38:18,588
Is this where the orgy is?
764
00:38:19,005 --> 00:38:21,925
"Is this where the orgy is?"
Who says "orgy"?
765
00:38:22,008 --> 00:38:23,551
You're so crazy!
766
00:38:23,635 --> 00:38:27,514
We're gonna head inside
and play a little fun pre-dinner game.
767
00:38:27,597 --> 00:38:31,643
Uh, we don't... We don't play games.
We're... We're adults.
768
00:38:31,726 --> 00:38:34,020
Oh, my bad. Howie, turn on 60 Minutes.
769
00:38:34,604 --> 00:38:38,149
Sorry, just ignore him.
Tonight we are going to be game people.
770
00:38:39,526 --> 00:38:41,152
What kind of game is it?
771
00:38:41,236 --> 00:38:43,738
Oh, it's real low-stakes, real chill.
772
00:38:45,615 --> 00:38:47,575
- No! What the fuck!
- Are you kidding me?
773
00:38:47,659 --> 00:38:49,536
- What is wrong with you?
- Act the scene.
774
00:38:49,619 --> 00:38:52,163
- Don't you even think about...
- Do not pass on this icon.
775
00:38:52,247 --> 00:38:54,290
"No. The defense is wrong!"
776
00:38:54,374 --> 00:38:56,793
"No. The defense is wrong!"
777
00:38:56,876 --> 00:38:59,838
- "No. The defense is wrong!"
- "No! The defense is wrong!"
778
00:38:59,921 --> 00:39:03,842
- And Joe Pesci like, "How do you know?"
- And she goes, "I'm positive."
779
00:39:03,925 --> 00:39:05,927
- "I'm positive."
- Penelope Cruz?
780
00:39:06,511 --> 00:39:09,180
"My biological clock
is ticking like this"
781
00:39:09,264 --> 00:39:12,141
"and the way this case is going,
I ain't never getting married."
782
00:39:12,225 --> 00:39:14,102
- The deer with the little... Bam!
- Come on!
783
00:39:14,185 --> 00:39:16,312
- A bullet hits you in the head.
- Rosie Perez?
784
00:39:16,396 --> 00:39:19,023
- Oh, my God.
- Almost respect you for saying her name.
785
00:39:19,107 --> 00:39:21,109
- Bitch, who is this?
- In the Bedroom nominee.
786
00:39:21,192 --> 00:39:23,653
- Laura Dern?
- Yeah, we get it, you're gay.
787
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:27,866
Seriously?
You couldn't get Marisa Tomei,
788
00:39:27,949 --> 00:39:30,743
- but you got Alicia Vikander?
- Told you I didn't wanna play.
789
00:39:30,827 --> 00:39:32,537
That's the problem with Hollywood.
790
00:39:32,620 --> 00:39:35,582
It's people like you
who forget about Marisa Tomei,
791
00:39:35,665 --> 00:39:38,376
but they remember Alicia Vikander. Flop.
792
00:39:38,459 --> 00:39:40,044
She was really great in Ex Machina.
793
00:39:40,128 --> 00:39:41,588
You need to stay out of this, you.
794
00:39:41,671 --> 00:39:43,339
Hey, do you wanna go get a drink?
795
00:39:43,423 --> 00:39:46,050
Seems like this could go on for a while.
796
00:39:46,134 --> 00:39:48,052
Why do I care about Ex Machina?
797
00:39:48,136 --> 00:39:50,555
- Robot blobot. It don't matter.
- Can we stop?
798
00:39:50,638 --> 00:39:54,225
God! I knew it would be bad,
but I didn't think it'd be that bad.
799
00:39:54,309 --> 00:39:56,853
Jesus, that guy is not good at games.
800
00:39:57,729 --> 00:39:58,813
Yeah.
801
00:39:59,564 --> 00:40:03,902
What is that? What's going on there?
Did you guys used to fuck or something?
802
00:40:03,985 --> 00:40:05,320
- Who? Me and Will?
- Yeah.
803
00:40:05,403 --> 00:40:06,946
Yeah, no, God.
804
00:40:07,530 --> 00:40:10,491
No, guys like Will
do not fuck guys like me.
805
00:40:10,575 --> 00:40:13,119
Oh, right, I forgot. You're hideous.
806
00:40:13,286 --> 00:40:15,246
I mean, everyone in his circle
807
00:40:15,330 --> 00:40:18,708
is hot, or rich, or both.
808
00:40:18,791 --> 00:40:24,297
But, um, his real issue was, um...
809
00:40:24,797 --> 00:40:27,008
Okay, I'm just gonna be
up front with you.
810
00:40:27,091 --> 00:40:30,428
I sort of have an OnlyFans.
It's just pictures of me.
811
00:40:30,511 --> 00:40:32,430
I'm not trying
to be a porn star or anything.
812
00:40:32,513 --> 00:40:33,973
You don't have to do that.
813
00:40:34,057 --> 00:40:36,267
You know, "sex work is work,"
and all that.
814
00:40:36,351 --> 00:40:41,147
Well, for guys like Will,
social gatekeepers, you know...
815
00:40:42,815 --> 00:40:44,817
It's a pretty big deal breaker.
816
00:40:45,443 --> 00:40:48,112
Gay guys
like that are ruining this island.
817
00:40:48,529 --> 00:40:51,783
Yeah, but then again,
818
00:40:51,908 --> 00:40:53,534
there are gay guys...
819
00:40:54,661 --> 00:40:55,703
like you.
820
00:40:55,787 --> 00:40:58,289
Yeah, I'm just another horny idiot.
821
00:40:58,456 --> 00:40:59,457
Mm-hmm.
822
00:40:59,749 --> 00:41:01,167
- I can work with that.
- Yeah?
823
00:41:01,250 --> 00:41:02,251
Yeah.
824
00:41:07,382 --> 00:41:08,967
Dinner is served.
825
00:41:13,054 --> 00:41:17,850
So there I was, on my hands and knees
in the middle of the Meat Rack
826
00:41:17,934 --> 00:41:22,522
trying to use the light on my flip phone
827
00:41:22,605 --> 00:41:26,526
to scan this chick's pussy for crabs.
828
00:41:26,609 --> 00:41:28,653
Erin, we're literally eating right now.
829
00:41:29,529 --> 00:41:32,240
Wait, did she... Did she, you know...
830
00:41:32,699 --> 00:41:34,492
She did, but it was so worth it.
831
00:41:34,575 --> 00:41:36,744
Oh, you still went through with it?
832
00:41:36,828 --> 00:41:39,205
She was one of the great loves
of my life.
833
00:41:39,288 --> 00:41:42,458
We dated for two years.
We told everybody we met at Red Lobster.
834
00:41:51,759 --> 00:41:53,469
Thank you so much for this dinner.
835
00:41:53,553 --> 00:41:56,222
We don't usually eat this well
when we're here.
836
00:41:56,305 --> 00:41:57,974
Stop, you big flirt.
837
00:41:58,057 --> 00:42:02,228
Oh, I'm serious. And it's not just
the dinner, it's all of you. You're...
838
00:42:03,187 --> 00:42:07,233
You're all so different
than anyone I've ever met before.
839
00:42:09,986 --> 00:42:11,654
I meant that in a good way.
840
00:42:11,738 --> 00:42:14,699
Like, um, Will, you... You guys get it?
841
00:42:15,324 --> 00:42:18,703
No, it's cool.
We do take this week pretty seriously.
842
00:42:19,245 --> 00:42:22,498
You know, that's why it's really
gonna suck next year when we, uh...
843
00:42:24,083 --> 00:42:25,083
You know...
844
00:42:27,795 --> 00:42:30,798
- It's...
- Okay, enough of this talk.
845
00:42:30,882 --> 00:42:32,800
Mm. You gotta forgive Noah.
846
00:42:32,884 --> 00:42:35,970
He is the most sensitive
of all of my boys.
847
00:42:36,054 --> 00:42:38,347
I guess he cares about us
a little too much.
848
00:42:40,224 --> 00:42:41,893
Okay, who saved room for dessert?
849
00:42:41,976 --> 00:42:43,603
- I did.
- Yes, please.
850
00:42:43,686 --> 00:42:46,856
The different girls will get dessert.
Just the different girls.
851
00:42:46,939 --> 00:42:49,859
Oh, fuck this. It's fine. I'm fine.
852
00:42:49,942 --> 00:42:51,694
We still have a week.
853
00:42:51,778 --> 00:42:53,988
Does anyone want a refill? Charlie?
854
00:42:55,406 --> 00:42:56,407
Come on.
855
00:42:58,367 --> 00:43:00,620
Shut up, that did not happen.
856
00:43:01,537 --> 00:43:04,415
Maybe I'm exaggerating,
but I swear to God, that was his vibe.
857
00:43:04,499 --> 00:43:07,668
Who cares? None of this matters
unless you fucked. Did you fuck?
858
00:43:09,212 --> 00:43:12,715
We did not fuck.
859
00:43:12,799 --> 00:43:16,928
Howard! I gave you uninterrupted access
to our room for 27 minutes.
860
00:43:17,011 --> 00:43:18,387
What the fuck were you doing?
861
00:43:18,471 --> 00:43:20,431
Ten bucks says they were doing a puzzle.
862
00:43:20,515 --> 00:43:22,016
Tell me you weren't doing a puzzle.
863
00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:27,355
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
864
00:43:27,438 --> 00:43:30,066
Twenty-seven minutes is
not long enough to do a puzzle,
865
00:43:30,149 --> 00:43:33,277
- or have sex, for that matter.
- That's an episode of Chopped.
866
00:43:33,361 --> 00:43:35,905
Do you need longer
than an episode of Chopped to have sex?
867
00:43:35,988 --> 00:43:38,116
Seriously. Spill.
Did you make any progress?
868
00:43:41,786 --> 00:43:43,871
Coming out was a mess.
869
00:43:43,955 --> 00:43:46,958
My mom, she definitely
took it a little bit better.
870
00:43:47,792 --> 00:43:48,792
But my dad...
871
00:43:49,544 --> 00:43:52,338
Only son and all that typical dad shit.
872
00:43:53,422 --> 00:43:55,383
But that's why my friends...
873
00:43:55,550 --> 00:43:59,262
You know, you find the family
that can fill in the gaps.
874
00:44:03,349 --> 00:44:06,102
Shut up! Get to the good part.
875
00:44:06,853 --> 00:44:07,854
What?
876
00:44:07,937 --> 00:44:09,939
You're just really smart
877
00:44:11,357 --> 00:44:12,483
and funny,
878
00:44:14,235 --> 00:44:15,361
and, um...
879
00:44:16,571 --> 00:44:17,697
And...
880
00:44:22,952 --> 00:44:24,036
Was there tongue?
881
00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:25,121
Okay, awesome.
882
00:44:25,204 --> 00:44:28,416
So you've laid the groundwork perfectly
to seal the deal tonight.
883
00:44:28,499 --> 00:44:30,168
- But tonight's underwear party.
- Yeah.
884
00:44:30,251 --> 00:44:32,753
You take him into the dark room,
get fucked, we all move on.
885
00:44:32,837 --> 00:44:35,047
In the dark room? In front of everyone?
886
00:44:35,131 --> 00:44:36,507
Why do you care so much?
887
00:44:36,591 --> 00:44:39,844
Because I'm not getting laid until
you do, and my blue balls are terminal.
888
00:44:39,927 --> 00:44:42,847
Get laid, please.
God. It's like your thing.
889
00:44:42,930 --> 00:44:44,140
Plus, Dex seems like a lock.
890
00:44:44,223 --> 00:44:47,935
Okay, you know what, I'm sorry,
he flirts with all of us. So shut up.
891
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:52,315
I don't know why you guys
don't think of me as more of a threat.
892
00:44:52,398 --> 00:44:54,734
'Cause Dex was
giving me eyes last night.
893
00:44:54,817 --> 00:44:55,985
Me, too.
894
00:44:56,068 --> 00:44:57,069
No, he wasn't.
895
00:44:57,695 --> 00:45:00,281
Now you two salivating
over a basic white guy again.
896
00:45:00,364 --> 00:45:01,949
Okay, whatever. Dex is great.
897
00:45:02,033 --> 00:45:04,202
And fringe benefit,
he really pisses off Will.
898
00:45:04,285 --> 00:45:06,454
I think Will might be
a little bit jealous.
899
00:45:06,579 --> 00:45:07,622
What?
900
00:45:08,497 --> 00:45:10,917
- A little bit jealous.
- Of who?
901
00:45:11,042 --> 00:45:12,126
Can you stop?
902
00:45:12,210 --> 00:45:13,502
What? I need the pump.
903
00:45:14,170 --> 00:45:17,006
Maybe Will is jealous of Dex? Or you?
904
00:45:17,089 --> 00:45:20,301
No. Dex gave me the download.
Will thinks we're trash.
905
00:45:20,384 --> 00:45:22,470
He might be a little bit
more complex than that.
906
00:45:22,553 --> 00:45:24,222
Who told you that? Charlie?
907
00:45:24,305 --> 00:45:27,892
No, but also Charlie wouldn't be friends
with a complete asshole.
908
00:45:27,975 --> 00:45:31,687
Whatever. That guy is just another
token Asian in a sea of white friends.
909
00:45:31,771 --> 00:45:33,314
Way harsh, Tai.
910
00:45:35,066 --> 00:45:37,485
I really think
you might be wrong about this.
911
00:45:37,568 --> 00:45:41,197
- Keegan, did you paint on abs?
- I just did a little highlight.
912
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:45,034
I've got three roaches, two bags
with maybe one bump between them,
913
00:45:45,117 --> 00:45:46,577
and an old bottle of poppers.
914
00:45:46,661 --> 00:45:48,412
I stole a couple of
my brother's Adderall
915
00:45:48,496 --> 00:45:51,499
and if you take it with half an edible,
it's basically Molly.
916
00:45:51,958 --> 00:45:54,627
I found this on the ground
at Battle Hymn a couple weeks ago.
917
00:45:54,710 --> 00:45:57,129
It could be Molly,
or it could be, like, a probiotic.
918
00:45:57,213 --> 00:45:59,548
Mm. Interesting.
I've got half a bottle of G
919
00:45:59,632 --> 00:46:01,968
and also a full bag of K
that I got in Mexico.
920
00:46:02,051 --> 00:46:05,388
- Oh!
- I'm not doing drugs tonight.
921
00:46:05,471 --> 00:46:06,681
- Okay.
- I'll take that.
922
00:46:06,764 --> 00:46:09,475
- Yeah, I'm gonna take...
- None of you are gonna pressure me?
923
00:46:09,558 --> 00:46:11,686
Well, you don't do drugs.
That's not news.
924
00:46:11,769 --> 00:46:12,979
Yeah, babe, we love you,
925
00:46:13,062 --> 00:46:16,065
you're family to us, but we no longer
believe we can make you fun.
926
00:46:17,942 --> 00:46:19,694
Is it down in one? Or how do I...
927
00:46:19,777 --> 00:46:21,279
- Save some drugs for me.
- No.
928
00:46:21,362 --> 00:46:22,780
- Oh, hey, girl.
- Hey.
929
00:46:22,863 --> 00:46:25,533
- Sure you don't wanna come with us?
- To Cherry Grove?
930
00:46:25,616 --> 00:46:28,828
- You know I'm not allowed.
- Seriously? That fire was ten years ago.
931
00:46:28,911 --> 00:46:33,291
Lesbians never forget.
Besides, I have so much to do here.
932
00:46:33,374 --> 00:46:36,085
You'll have a good time.
You don't need me.
933
00:46:36,961 --> 00:46:38,504
- I'll be fine.
- We love you.
934
00:46:38,587 --> 00:46:41,549
I love you, too. I'll miss you, too.
935
00:46:41,632 --> 00:46:45,052
I know, I know,
I love you, miss you. I love you.
936
00:46:45,136 --> 00:46:48,180
Don't forget to hydrate. So much to do.
937
00:46:53,185 --> 00:46:55,938
Cherry Grove is so far.
We should've taken a water taxi.
938
00:46:56,022 --> 00:46:58,691
Because Charlie said his house
was taking a water taxi.
939
00:46:58,774 --> 00:47:01,027
Girl, the water taxi
is nine bucks per person.
940
00:47:01,110 --> 00:47:03,362
Know how many water bottles
we could get for that?
941
00:47:03,446 --> 00:47:04,613
- One?
- Exactly.
942
00:47:04,697 --> 00:47:06,115
We'll take one when we go back.
943
00:47:06,198 --> 00:47:07,908
It's better
when you're fucked up anyway.
944
00:47:07,992 --> 00:47:09,160
- Ah.
- Oh.
945
00:47:09,243 --> 00:47:12,079
We're here.
Okay, look alive, everybody.
946
00:47:12,204 --> 00:47:14,623
This might be the last time
we get to do this together,
947
00:47:14,707 --> 00:47:16,542
so let's make it count.
948
00:47:16,625 --> 00:47:19,503
Should we pray?
I feel like we should pray.
949
00:47:19,628 --> 00:47:22,381
I'm gonna get so fucked up tonight
I forget my own name.
950
00:47:22,465 --> 00:47:23,507
Amen.
951
00:47:27,845 --> 00:47:29,889
No week on Fire Island
would be complete
952
00:47:29,972 --> 00:47:33,142
if you didn't make an appearance
at the underwear party.
953
00:47:33,684 --> 00:47:36,729
It's the one party
where everyone is invited.
954
00:47:37,521 --> 00:47:41,859
The price of admission, just 20 bucks
and a little bit of dignity.
955
00:47:41,942 --> 00:47:43,235
Now, let's get in there.
956
00:47:43,319 --> 00:47:45,654
- And get fucked up!
- Yay!
957
00:47:45,738 --> 00:47:47,698
Three, two, one.
958
00:47:52,661 --> 00:47:55,039
Are you sure you should be taking
Luke's floor pill?
959
00:47:55,122 --> 00:47:56,374
We don't even know what it is.
960
00:47:56,457 --> 00:47:58,542
Whatever. The world's gonna end
in 15 years anyways.
961
00:47:58,626 --> 00:48:01,128
I might as well go out
in my underwear tonight. Right, guys?
962
00:48:08,803 --> 00:48:09,887
Do you see Charlie?
963
00:48:11,013 --> 00:48:12,306
No, but I have a lead.
964
00:48:13,015 --> 00:48:15,017
- Let's go talk to him.
- Do we have to?
965
00:48:15,101 --> 00:48:16,685
He's not even wearing his underwear.
966
00:48:16,769 --> 00:48:18,771
If you're gonna be at the party,
be at the party.
967
00:48:18,854 --> 00:48:20,064
Come on. Be nice.
968
00:48:24,985 --> 00:48:27,238
Hey. Is Charlie with you?
969
00:48:27,822 --> 00:48:30,199
- I think he's outside.
- We should go outside then...
970
00:48:30,282 --> 00:48:33,953
No, I'll go.
You stay in case he comes back.
971
00:48:34,078 --> 00:48:37,415
- That doesn't make any sense.
- Yes, it does.
972
00:49:09,530 --> 00:49:12,533
So, this has to be
the drugs, right?
973
00:49:28,382 --> 00:49:31,260
Hi. Got a quick sec?
974
00:49:31,343 --> 00:49:32,344
Yeah. Sure.
975
00:49:39,477 --> 00:49:41,312
Sorry to pull you away, it's just...
976
00:49:41,937 --> 00:49:45,941
I wanted to talk to you about something,
and it's a little awkward.
977
00:49:46,817 --> 00:49:48,402
No worries. What's up?
978
00:49:49,069 --> 00:49:51,614
I wanted to talk to you about Will.
979
00:49:51,697 --> 00:49:53,574
Oh. Okay. Why?
980
00:49:53,657 --> 00:49:57,328
He's such a great guy, right?
And, like, so rich.
981
00:49:57,411 --> 00:50:01,457
He owns a huge house in the Hills.
I think he comes from money.
982
00:50:01,540 --> 00:50:04,585
He's got, like, that rich,
prep-school kind of trauma,
983
00:50:04,793 --> 00:50:06,504
that's why his voice is so deep.
984
00:50:07,713 --> 00:50:10,591
Plus he's, like, kind of hot, right?
985
00:50:11,425 --> 00:50:13,511
- Sure.
- So, you do think he's hot?
986
00:50:14,178 --> 00:50:15,179
Damn it.
987
00:50:15,262 --> 00:50:16,514
It's crazy, right?
988
00:50:16,597 --> 00:50:19,391
I'm not normally
into like that kind of guy, but...
989
00:50:19,475 --> 00:50:20,726
Like, an Asian guy?
990
00:50:22,102 --> 00:50:24,855
Oh, my God, I did not say that.
You said that.
991
00:50:24,939 --> 00:50:26,565
Don't project that on me.
992
00:50:26,649 --> 00:50:29,068
I actually really love
that he's of a different culture.
993
00:50:29,151 --> 00:50:30,486
Plus, I think his mom is white.
994
00:50:31,904 --> 00:50:34,532
Uh, I'm so sorry.
What are we talking about?
995
00:50:35,199 --> 00:50:38,786
I just wanted to tell you,
because you're a friend,
996
00:50:38,869 --> 00:50:42,039
that, like, Charlie sort of
brought Will here to hook up with me.
997
00:50:42,122 --> 00:50:44,875
I'm moving to L. A. next year
and I need a starter boyfriend.
998
00:50:46,043 --> 00:50:47,545
And I saw you circling,
999
00:50:48,212 --> 00:50:50,798
and I just wanna make sure
things don't get awkward.
1000
00:50:50,881 --> 00:50:52,841
- Okay, hon?
- I was not circling Will.
1001
00:50:52,925 --> 00:50:55,052
Hey. I was looking for you.
1002
00:50:55,511 --> 00:50:56,512
Um...
1003
00:50:56,845 --> 00:51:01,475
There is an emergency inside.
It's medical. It's a medical emergency.
1004
00:51:01,559 --> 00:51:05,020
Oh, my God. Well, then I should go
because I'm a nurse.
1005
00:51:05,104 --> 00:51:08,440
And, yeah, so I'm gonna go.
But good luck with your little mission.
1006
00:51:09,108 --> 00:51:10,693
There's no medical emergency, right?
1007
00:51:10,776 --> 00:51:13,988
No, I was just thinking we could go
absolutely nuts on the dance floor.
1008
00:51:44,935 --> 00:51:48,147
I can't deal with these feels
in my body
1009
00:51:48,272 --> 00:51:50,733
Yeah, so,
this is usually the moment
1010
00:51:50,816 --> 00:51:54,653
where I completely debase myself
in a sweaty back room full of strangers.
1011
00:51:55,613 --> 00:51:56,614
But...
1012
00:51:56,697 --> 00:51:57,906
Wait. Have you seen Howie?
1013
00:51:58,991 --> 00:52:02,536
Don't be crazy.
Charlie is a lock. Howie is happy.
1014
00:52:02,786 --> 00:52:03,954
Mission accomplished.
1015
00:52:04,747 --> 00:52:06,874
You know who else said that?
1016
00:52:06,957 --> 00:52:08,292
George W. Bush.
1017
00:52:09,752 --> 00:52:10,753
What?
1018
00:52:11,337 --> 00:52:14,006
Confirmed.
The drugs have definitely kicked in.
1019
00:52:27,936 --> 00:52:28,937
Fuck.
1020
00:52:29,938 --> 00:52:30,939
I got this.
1021
00:52:46,538 --> 00:52:47,539
Huh.
1022
00:52:51,210 --> 00:52:52,753
What's he looking for?
1023
00:52:53,754 --> 00:52:55,714
Shit!
1024
00:52:55,798 --> 00:52:59,760
Oh, fuck. I'm so sorry. Fuck.
Let me see, let me see.
1025
00:52:59,843 --> 00:53:00,844
Oh.
1026
00:53:00,928 --> 00:53:03,430
Shit. How bad is it? What should I do?
1027
00:53:03,514 --> 00:53:04,640
In my professional opinion,
1028
00:53:04,723 --> 00:53:07,059
we need to shove
a bunch of napkins up there.
1029
00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:11,939
Guys, if you wanna keep those jocks
white, I would move. Get out of the way.
1030
00:53:12,022 --> 00:53:15,484
- Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?
- I'm a little busy right now.
1031
00:53:15,567 --> 00:53:17,528
- Okay. Just be careful.
- What?
1032
00:53:17,611 --> 00:53:19,029
Dex is not a good guy.
1033
00:53:19,113 --> 00:53:21,281
- Why, because he has an OnlyFans?
- What? No.
1034
00:53:21,365 --> 00:53:23,575
He doesn't have great things
to say about you either.
1035
00:53:23,659 --> 00:53:26,954
Did I see you two naughty boys
come out of the dark room together?
1036
00:53:27,037 --> 00:53:28,080
Perfect.
1037
00:53:28,163 --> 00:53:30,582
It's so weird, Will,
because he was just saying tonight
1038
00:53:30,666 --> 00:53:32,543
how he wasn't into you at all and now...
1039
00:53:32,626 --> 00:53:35,337
I didn't say that.
I'm not, for the record, but...
1040
00:53:35,421 --> 00:53:36,588
Do my eyes look crazy?
1041
00:53:37,214 --> 00:53:39,466
My eyes look crazy.
They're completely black.
1042
00:53:39,550 --> 00:53:42,177
No. They're fine...
Actually, they are kind of weird.
1043
00:53:42,261 --> 00:53:43,262
What did you take?
1044
00:53:43,345 --> 00:53:45,222
I'm guessing he found some K.
1045
00:53:45,389 --> 00:53:48,392
Ketamine. Technically speaking,
it's for horses.
1046
00:53:48,475 --> 00:53:50,269
- My God, is that Charlie?
- What?
1047
00:53:52,646 --> 00:53:54,022
Who the fuck is that?
1048
00:53:54,982 --> 00:53:57,359
And who is that? Is that me?
1049
00:53:57,568 --> 00:53:59,278
I'm gorgeous.
1050
00:53:59,361 --> 00:54:01,155
That's Charlie's ex, Rhys.
1051
00:54:01,989 --> 00:54:03,866
We just flew him out this morning.
1052
00:54:03,949 --> 00:54:06,827
Well, I guess not "ex" anymore.
1053
00:54:06,910 --> 00:54:09,621
Yeah, Dex is the one
I gotta watch out for.
1054
00:54:09,705 --> 00:54:11,123
I gotta find Howie.
1055
00:54:13,167 --> 00:54:14,585
Come on.
1056
00:54:17,671 --> 00:54:20,424
Um, you're gonna take this
into the bathroom, fill it up,
1057
00:54:20,507 --> 00:54:22,843
and drink until you feel normal. Okay?
1058
00:54:22,926 --> 00:54:24,094
I am fine.
1059
00:54:25,429 --> 00:54:26,513
And smart.
1060
00:54:27,264 --> 00:54:28,265
And worth it.
1061
00:54:28,348 --> 00:54:31,977
Yes, baby, yes, you are. Now go hydrate.
1062
00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:39,485
Hey. I found you.
1063
00:54:39,568 --> 00:54:40,861
Hey.
1064
00:54:41,278 --> 00:54:42,362
Ah.
1065
00:54:42,696 --> 00:54:44,948
I didn't even know I was lost.
1066
00:54:45,657 --> 00:54:46,784
Wow.
1067
00:54:47,659 --> 00:54:49,161
MDMA. Molly.
1068
00:54:49,244 --> 00:54:52,039
Chemically impossible
to have a bad night on it.
1069
00:54:52,122 --> 00:54:53,707
Even if you wanted to.
1070
00:54:53,791 --> 00:54:55,626
So, did you ever find Charlie?
1071
00:54:56,376 --> 00:54:58,003
- You saw him with that...
- Oh, yeah.
1072
00:54:58,086 --> 00:55:01,340
That fucking Zac Efron-looking guy
he's dry humping?
1073
00:55:01,423 --> 00:55:04,802
No, good for him. I love Neighbors 2.
1074
00:55:04,885 --> 00:55:07,971
It's the rare sequel
that surpasses the original.
1075
00:55:08,806 --> 00:55:09,848
Are you okay?
1076
00:55:09,932 --> 00:55:12,559
I mean, you saw the guy. It's game over.
1077
00:55:12,643 --> 00:55:14,436
No. The night is young. You...
1078
00:55:14,520 --> 00:55:18,816
- Yeah, I can fuck anybody I want.
- Oh.
1079
00:55:19,191 --> 00:55:23,904
- Let's get you off the ground, babe.
- No, the ground is the new chair, baby!
1080
00:55:24,530 --> 00:55:26,156
Oh, fuck Charlie.
1081
00:55:26,240 --> 00:55:29,034
Next time, let's just stick
to someone in my league.
1082
00:55:29,117 --> 00:55:30,869
- No, that's not...
- Girl.
1083
00:55:30,953 --> 00:55:33,330
I just overheard some hot-ass people
1084
00:55:33,413 --> 00:55:36,124
talking about after kiki on Bay Walk.
1085
00:55:36,208 --> 00:55:37,584
And so many people going
1086
00:55:37,668 --> 00:55:39,711
that they not gonna know
we wasn't invited.
1087
00:55:41,338 --> 00:55:42,548
Is he okay?
1088
00:55:42,631 --> 00:55:43,841
And that's G.
1089
00:55:43,924 --> 00:55:47,594
You do a little too much
and you end up looking like, well, that.
1090
00:55:47,678 --> 00:55:49,221
Yeah, he fine. Can we go?
1091
00:55:49,304 --> 00:55:51,223
Yeah, we definitely
need to get out of here.
1092
00:55:51,306 --> 00:55:53,851
You deal with that
and I'm gonna go find Max.
1093
00:55:53,934 --> 00:55:56,103
Girl, what you doing?
You gotta go to that party.
1094
00:55:56,186 --> 00:55:57,521
Okay. Okay.
1095
00:56:00,607 --> 00:56:02,025
It's gonna be wild.
1096
00:56:02,609 --> 00:56:05,988
Max. Come on, Max, we gotta go.
1097
00:56:06,071 --> 00:56:07,281
What's a... Oh.
1098
00:56:07,364 --> 00:56:09,408
- Can I just shit in peace?
- Shit.
1099
00:56:09,491 --> 00:56:10,742
At a party.
1100
00:56:12,870 --> 00:56:13,871
Hey.
1101
00:56:16,081 --> 00:56:19,126
If you're looking for your friends,
they just got on a water taxi.
1102
00:56:19,209 --> 00:56:23,463
What? Those bitches.
I'm the one without a phone.
1103
00:56:23,547 --> 00:56:26,550
I think it was the last taxi out
and they panicked.
1104
00:56:26,633 --> 00:56:28,510
I told them I'd come find you.
1105
00:56:30,012 --> 00:56:31,555
I know where they're going,
1106
00:56:31,638 --> 00:56:34,308
we'd just have to
cut through the Meat Rack.
1107
00:56:36,143 --> 00:56:37,144
Perfect.
1108
00:56:41,106 --> 00:56:42,649
You coming or what?
1109
00:56:46,028 --> 00:56:48,447
Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck!
1110
00:56:49,323 --> 00:56:52,951
For somebody who reads so much,
you have a very narrow vocabulary.
1111
00:56:53,035 --> 00:56:54,411
You're really boring, you know?
1112
00:56:54,494 --> 00:56:56,371
Because I don't speak like
a 13-year-old?
1113
00:56:56,455 --> 00:56:59,374
No. Because you're rude,
elitist, smug, hella judgmental...
1114
00:56:59,458 --> 00:57:01,585
You seem to have
a lot of opinions about someone
1115
00:57:01,668 --> 00:57:03,253
you've only known for three days.
1116
00:57:03,337 --> 00:57:06,673
That's funny. You had a lot of opinions
about me after what? Three hours?
1117
00:57:06,757 --> 00:57:09,092
- What're You talking about?
- God, how did you put it?
1118
00:57:09,176 --> 00:57:11,511
"He's not hot enough
to be that annoying"?
1119
00:57:11,595 --> 00:57:13,013
Did Charlie tell you I said that?
1120
00:57:13,096 --> 00:57:14,640
That's what you're concerned about?
1121
00:57:14,723 --> 00:57:17,601
- No, I'm sorry, I just...
- No, Charlie didn't tell me.
1122
00:57:17,684 --> 00:57:18,810
Are you happy?
1123
00:57:18,894 --> 00:57:20,437
God, say what you will about me,
1124
00:57:20,520 --> 00:57:23,106
but you barely even met Howie
before you and your crew
1125
00:57:23,190 --> 00:57:25,150
decided he wasn't good enough
for Charlie.
1126
00:57:25,233 --> 00:57:28,654
And then to pull this shit. Literally
airdropping in his ex from Manhattan.
1127
00:57:28,737 --> 00:57:29,780
That's psychotic.
1128
00:57:29,863 --> 00:57:32,741
I didn't have anything to do with Rhys
coming here. That was Cooper.
1129
00:57:32,824 --> 00:57:35,702
I can't stand Rhys.
For the record, I like your friend.
1130
00:57:35,786 --> 00:57:37,829
Anything I did,
I was doing to protect Charlie.
1131
00:57:37,913 --> 00:57:41,458
Protect Charlie? From who? From Howie?
1132
00:57:41,541 --> 00:57:45,128
Have you met him? I should've been
protecting him from all of you people.
1133
00:57:45,212 --> 00:57:48,006
"You people"? What do I have in common
with any of them?
1134
00:57:48,090 --> 00:57:51,259
I've never met somebody
who made it so clear, so immediately,
1135
00:57:51,343 --> 00:57:53,762
that they think they're so superior
than everybody else.
1136
00:57:53,845 --> 00:57:55,847
First I thought
it was because you were rich,
1137
00:57:55,931 --> 00:57:57,599
but it's actually deeper than that.
1138
00:57:57,683 --> 00:58:00,811
You think if you let everybody know
how miserable you are being gay,
1139
00:58:00,894 --> 00:58:02,729
it'll make you less of a faggot than us.
1140
00:58:02,813 --> 00:58:04,272
I don't think I'm better than you.
1141
00:58:04,356 --> 00:58:06,236
- You don't have to, everybody else does.
- Who?
1142
00:58:06,316 --> 00:58:09,277
The whole fucking world.
Dude, look at us.
1143
00:58:09,361 --> 00:58:11,905
Okay, you're this big,
rich, successful lawyer
1144
00:58:11,989 --> 00:58:14,032
who might as well be straight.
And I'm not.
1145
00:58:14,116 --> 00:58:15,659
You are spectacular.
1146
00:58:15,742 --> 00:58:18,245
You think you've got
the whole world figured out,
1147
00:58:18,328 --> 00:58:20,747
but all you're doing
is assuming the worst.
1148
00:58:20,831 --> 00:58:23,667
Makes it easier for you.
You expect everyone to reject you,
1149
00:58:23,750 --> 00:58:25,836
so when somebody
comes along and actually does,
1150
00:58:25,919 --> 00:58:27,421
it doesn't hurt so much.
1151
00:58:29,381 --> 00:58:31,174
The reality is, Noah,
1152
00:58:32,884 --> 00:58:34,845
no one's thinking that much about you.
1153
00:58:35,887 --> 00:58:39,224
You know what, I don't give a shit
what you think about me.
1154
00:58:39,307 --> 00:58:41,601
- Fuck!
- Oh, shit. You okay?
1155
00:58:41,685 --> 00:58:43,186
I'm fine. I got this.
1156
00:58:48,567 --> 00:58:49,609
What are you doing?
1157
00:58:50,861 --> 00:58:51,862
You hate me.
1158
00:58:54,322 --> 00:58:56,616
I... I have to go. I'm gonna go.
1159
00:58:56,700 --> 00:58:58,785
And maybe you should just...
1160
00:58:58,869 --> 00:59:00,746
You know what, do whatever you want.
1161
00:59:15,510 --> 00:59:16,511
Hey.
1162
00:59:17,179 --> 00:59:18,388
Oh, hey.
1163
00:59:23,935 --> 00:59:26,897
- What happened to you?
- Uh, have you seen Howie?
1164
00:59:26,980 --> 00:59:29,858
I can't find Luke.
I think he's falling out.
1165
00:59:29,941 --> 00:59:31,026
Is that news?
1166
00:59:31,109 --> 00:59:32,819
Well, we have to get him home.
1167
00:59:32,903 --> 00:59:34,863
Okay, go find Howie.
I'll take care of this.
1168
00:59:34,946 --> 00:59:36,031
Thank you.
1169
01:00:03,058 --> 01:00:04,059
Howie?
1170
01:00:07,646 --> 01:00:09,439
Okay, thank you. Worth a shot.
1171
01:00:10,357 --> 01:00:13,443
Hey, you will never guess
what just happened to me.
1172
01:00:14,111 --> 01:00:16,363
You fell in a bunch of mud?
1173
01:00:16,446 --> 01:00:18,573
Uh, yeah. Do you wanna get out of here?
1174
01:00:18,657 --> 01:00:20,909
Actually, he was just
about to leave with me.
1175
01:00:20,992 --> 01:00:23,411
- Uh, no, he's not.
- Jealous.
1176
01:00:24,371 --> 01:00:27,624
You know, I've got a big bed,
room enough for three.
1177
01:00:27,707 --> 01:00:30,001
- Thanks. But we're gonna pass.
- I'm not.
1178
01:00:30,544 --> 01:00:31,545
What?
1179
01:00:33,255 --> 01:00:34,589
Can you excuse us for a second?
1180
01:00:34,673 --> 01:00:37,926
- I need to talk to you upstairs.
- What are you doing? What?
1181
01:00:41,888 --> 01:00:44,641
- What are you doing?
- Exactly what you told me to do.
1182
01:00:44,724 --> 01:00:47,102
Not with that guy, though.
Anybody but that guy.
1183
01:00:47,185 --> 01:00:48,186
- He's into me.
- Yeah.
1184
01:00:48,270 --> 01:00:52,858
And he has, like, five anime tattoos.
You said no settling, that is settling.
1185
01:00:52,941 --> 01:00:55,610
And you said this was
supposed to make me feel good.
1186
01:00:55,694 --> 01:00:59,614
Well, guess what? I don't feel good.
I feel really fucking bad right now.
1187
01:00:59,698 --> 01:01:02,033
But fucking some rice queen
won't make you feel better.
1188
01:01:02,117 --> 01:01:04,578
- There are plenty of other guys...
- For you!
1189
01:01:04,661 --> 01:01:05,662
For you, too!
1190
01:01:05,745 --> 01:01:08,832
No, stop it. Stop talking about this
like we're the same!
1191
01:01:10,584 --> 01:01:11,584
But we are.
1192
01:01:12,210 --> 01:01:13,587
You and me. Fuck the rest.
1193
01:01:13,670 --> 01:01:14,671
No, stop!
1194
01:01:14,754 --> 01:01:18,884
You wanna feel so good so badly
that you did all this.
1195
01:01:19,551 --> 01:01:22,721
And now you want me to feel good, too.
Because you...
1196
01:01:22,804 --> 01:01:25,682
I don't know, you feel guilty?
I don't really give a shit.
1197
01:01:25,765 --> 01:01:30,187
But stop pretending like you
don't understand how the world works.
1198
01:01:33,148 --> 01:01:34,357
That's really unfair.
1199
01:01:35,609 --> 01:01:36,693
Fuck you.
1200
01:02:28,620 --> 01:02:32,540
Don't tell anybody,
but I think I might've fucked up.
1201
01:02:43,802 --> 01:02:45,804
- I cannot believe you left us there.
- Wake up!
1202
01:02:45,887 --> 01:02:48,974
- How are you still sleeping?
- I was out of my mind! Okay?
1203
01:02:49,057 --> 01:02:51,059
- You still rolling, girl.
- One at a time.
1204
01:02:51,142 --> 01:02:53,228
- Howie still isn't home.
- Neither is Luke.
1205
01:02:53,311 --> 01:02:56,147
Thanks for your help last night.
'Cause now he's missing.
1206
01:02:56,231 --> 01:02:58,483
I swear, if something happened to him...
1207
01:02:58,566 --> 01:03:00,527
Like, we were making a podcast.
1208
01:03:00,610 --> 01:03:01,820
And this came for you.
1209
01:03:02,654 --> 01:03:03,863
What the fuck is this?
1210
01:03:03,947 --> 01:03:08,118
Oh, that horrible friend of Charlie's...
What's his name? Wu? Womb?
1211
01:03:08,201 --> 01:03:12,163
Will? Is this a letter?
What does it say?
1212
01:03:12,247 --> 01:03:14,582
We don't know.
Max wouldn't let us read it.
1213
01:03:17,210 --> 01:03:20,255
Oh, okay. I'm gonna go read this inside.
1214
01:03:20,338 --> 01:03:23,800
Wait! Can you at least
tell us what it says?
1215
01:03:23,883 --> 01:03:27,345
Please? Come on, we are so bored, girl.
1216
01:03:31,141 --> 01:03:34,394
"Hey. I know
this isn't the ideal way to do this,
1217
01:03:34,477 --> 01:03:37,022
"but you don't have a phone
at the moment,
1218
01:03:37,105 --> 01:03:41,401
"and I thought it might be best
to do this sooner rather than later.
1219
01:03:42,319 --> 01:03:44,154
"So, let me say, sincerely,
1220
01:03:45,613 --> 01:03:46,823
"I'm sorry."
1221
01:03:50,952 --> 01:03:52,829
"For what I said that first night."
1222
01:03:54,331 --> 01:03:55,498
"For everything."
1223
01:03:58,710 --> 01:04:03,256
"Beyond that, I did wanna clarify
one thing, about Dex.
1224
01:04:04,507 --> 01:04:07,177
"He's not the person
he presents himself to be."
1225
01:04:09,471 --> 01:04:11,806
"I promise,
my dislike of him has nothing to do
1226
01:04:11,890 --> 01:04:13,266
"with whatever he told you,
1227
01:04:13,350 --> 01:04:16,853
"and everything to do with
what he did to someone I'm close to.
1228
01:04:17,937 --> 01:04:22,442
"Just know he is exceptionally good
at hiding who he really is.
1229
01:04:23,276 --> 01:04:24,986
"I hope you can forgive me,
1230
01:04:25,070 --> 01:04:28,656
"and that maybe eventually
we could even be friends."
1231
01:04:29,574 --> 01:04:31,159
"Sincerely, Will."
1232
01:04:35,080 --> 01:04:36,122
What the fuck?
1233
01:04:37,374 --> 01:04:38,541
We have a situation.
1234
01:04:39,250 --> 01:04:40,835
What the fuck is he doing here?
1235
01:04:40,919 --> 01:04:43,088
He showed up
saying he needed to talk to Howie.
1236
01:04:43,171 --> 01:04:46,091
They're in the one place
that's impossible to eavesdrop on.
1237
01:04:46,174 --> 01:04:49,219
- When did Howie get back?
- A little while ago.
1238
01:04:49,302 --> 01:04:51,346
Did something happen between you two?
1239
01:04:51,429 --> 01:04:55,016
I don't know. I think he...
I think he blames me for that.
1240
01:04:55,100 --> 01:04:58,311
But I told him from the start,
don't get sucked into one guy's orbit.
1241
01:04:58,395 --> 01:05:00,230
Especially that guy.
1242
01:05:00,313 --> 01:05:04,234
And I've been focused all week on him
and his happiness and getting him laid.
1243
01:05:04,317 --> 01:05:06,861
And I didn't think
it would solve all his problems,
1244
01:05:06,945 --> 01:05:09,781
but I thought I could make him feel hot
and powerful for a week.
1245
01:05:09,864 --> 01:05:11,950
Is sex what makes you feel
hot and powerful?
1246
01:05:12,033 --> 01:05:14,077
No. I'm hot and powerful,
so I have a lot of sex.
1247
01:05:14,160 --> 01:05:16,955
I just thought I could
reverse-engineer it a little bit.
1248
01:05:17,747 --> 01:05:20,834
But... I think I can still fix this.
I just...
1249
01:05:21,960 --> 01:05:24,129
I don't know. It's complicated.
1250
01:05:24,212 --> 01:05:26,339
"Complicated"? Please.
Wanna know what I think...
1251
01:05:26,423 --> 01:05:29,551
Babe, I love you,
but this is me and Howie. It's serious.
1252
01:05:29,634 --> 01:05:31,928
Oh. Fuck you. Listen.
1253
01:05:32,011 --> 01:05:34,764
I know you all think I'm some old,
ridiculous burnout,
1254
01:05:34,848 --> 01:05:39,227
but I had a whole life before I met you,
and it used to look a lot like yours.
1255
01:05:39,310 --> 01:05:41,438
I had lovers, and friends,
1256
01:05:41,521 --> 01:05:44,023
summers in Cherry Grove
with lesbians my own age.
1257
01:05:44,107 --> 01:05:47,694
- And I thought I had it all figured out.
- Babe, I know all your stories.
1258
01:05:47,777 --> 01:05:50,864
Yes, the fun ones.
Not the ones where I fucked it up.
1259
01:05:50,947 --> 01:05:54,325
I tried to fix everyone,
but what I was doing is, over time,
1260
01:05:54,409 --> 01:05:56,911
slowly pushing
everyone I cared about out of my life.
1261
01:05:56,995 --> 01:06:00,248
Until my only friends
were a group of boys half my age
1262
01:06:00,331 --> 01:06:03,001
who only put up with me
because I have a house on Fire Island.
1263
01:06:03,084 --> 01:06:04,627
That's not true. We love you.
1264
01:06:04,711 --> 01:06:07,797
That's sweet.
But you're missing the point.
1265
01:06:07,881 --> 01:06:10,175
Howie doesn't need anyone to fix him.
1266
01:06:10,258 --> 01:06:13,261
Not you, not this island, not anything.
1267
01:06:14,220 --> 01:06:16,139
He just needs a friend.
1268
01:06:16,222 --> 01:06:18,057
He'll be just fine. You'll see.
1269
01:06:23,188 --> 01:06:24,898
Oh, my God! My baby's drowning!
1270
01:06:30,195 --> 01:06:34,240
So Charlie's ex has Lyme disease?
1271
01:06:34,324 --> 01:06:36,075
- Seriously?
- Please.
1272
01:06:36,159 --> 01:06:38,453
It's like that thing
Yolanda Hadid has?
1273
01:06:39,204 --> 01:06:44,083
Yeah, he just found out.
And, now, Charlie, you know...
1274
01:06:46,169 --> 01:06:49,339
Wants to be supportive
because he says it's really serious.
1275
01:06:49,422 --> 01:06:51,549
Oh, my God.
That's clearly bullshit.
1276
01:06:51,633 --> 01:06:53,092
You saw that guy last night. He...
1277
01:06:53,176 --> 01:06:55,970
Yeah, Charlie probably
made it up because he feels bad.
1278
01:06:56,054 --> 01:06:59,849
- No, that's not what I was gonna say.
- What difference does it make?
1279
01:07:36,177 --> 01:07:37,512
I don't think so.
1280
01:07:42,141 --> 01:07:44,185
You just twist your blind a little bit.
1281
01:07:45,687 --> 01:07:47,647
Leave the door ajar.
1282
01:07:49,649 --> 01:07:51,985
And let the whole salad bar
hang out, honey.
1283
01:07:54,320 --> 01:07:56,364
So we brought sandwiches to the room...
1284
01:07:56,447 --> 01:07:57,991
- No microwave, honey.
- Hey, weirdo.
1285
01:07:58,074 --> 01:07:59,993
You dropped your ice cream back there.
1286
01:08:00,702 --> 01:08:01,703
Oh.
1287
01:08:02,370 --> 01:08:03,955
I wasn't sure you'd want to see me.
1288
01:08:04,038 --> 01:08:06,165
So you ran away?
1289
01:08:06,249 --> 01:08:07,625
Returning the favor.
1290
01:08:07,709 --> 01:08:08,709
Very funny.
1291
01:08:09,335 --> 01:08:10,461
I got your letter.
1292
01:08:12,213 --> 01:08:13,256
I see. Uh...
1293
01:08:14,007 --> 01:08:15,842
- So are we...
- Good?
1294
01:08:17,176 --> 01:08:18,219
We're good.
1295
01:08:18,886 --> 01:08:22,557
I am, however, a little pissed
at your friend right now. Lyme disease?
1296
01:08:22,640 --> 01:08:24,475
You kidding me?
Does he even like that guy?
1297
01:08:24,559 --> 01:08:27,854
I don't know. Can we...
Can we talk about something else?
1298
01:08:27,937 --> 01:08:30,523
Sure. Let's talk about Dex.
1299
01:08:30,607 --> 01:08:33,568
You send me this weird letter
like a Victorian ghost,
1300
01:08:33,651 --> 01:08:36,321
filled with all these vague details
about the past.
1301
01:08:36,404 --> 01:08:38,156
It's not really my story to tell.
1302
01:08:38,406 --> 01:08:41,159
But look at this,
and it'll give you a clearer picture
1303
01:08:41,242 --> 01:08:43,453
of the kind of person he really is.
1304
01:08:43,536 --> 01:08:45,413
He has an Instagram. What a villain.
1305
01:08:46,414 --> 01:08:48,791
Okay. So he has some thotty pictures.
1306
01:08:48,875 --> 01:08:51,878
But it doesn't make him
a bad guy necessarily.
1307
01:08:52,920 --> 01:08:54,380
- Oh.
- Just be careful.
1308
01:08:55,423 --> 01:08:56,883
You have to trust me.
1309
01:08:56,966 --> 01:08:58,676
Like we're friends or something?
1310
01:08:59,344 --> 01:09:00,428
Something like that.
1311
01:09:01,971 --> 01:09:04,140
- I'm not an easy guy to be friends with.
- Shocking.
1312
01:09:04,223 --> 01:09:05,808
Oh, yeah, right. And you are?
1313
01:09:06,809 --> 01:09:10,063
'Cause you know what?
It's time for the dance-off!
1314
01:09:10,146 --> 01:09:12,106
I have a lot of friends, actually.
1315
01:09:13,149 --> 01:09:14,901
I'm a very fun-loving person.
1316
01:09:14,984 --> 01:09:16,569
- Really?
- Yep.
1317
01:09:16,653 --> 01:09:17,654
Prove it.
1318
01:09:17,737 --> 01:09:20,823
I need some new blood though, honey.
You come every single week.
1319
01:09:20,907 --> 01:09:21,908
- Good grief.
- Over here!
1320
01:09:21,991 --> 01:09:25,078
- No. I... That wasn't...
- You said you were fun. Be fun.
1321
01:09:25,161 --> 01:09:26,162
You, you.
1322
01:09:26,245 --> 01:09:28,247
- Over here.
- Honey, you had too many shots.
1323
01:09:28,331 --> 01:09:32,210
Yeah, very eager.
Hey. Hi, gorgeous, come on up.
1324
01:09:32,293 --> 01:09:33,670
Hello!
1325
01:09:33,753 --> 01:09:35,672
Stand in line over here.
1326
01:09:35,755 --> 01:09:38,758
All right. So, what is your name?
1327
01:09:38,841 --> 01:09:39,842
Will.
1328
01:09:39,926 --> 01:09:42,887
Hi, Will. Everybody say hey!
1329
01:09:44,389 --> 01:09:46,808
- Have you ever done a dance-off before?
- No.
1330
01:09:50,561 --> 01:09:53,314
Okay. Are you excited for the dance-off?
1331
01:09:53,398 --> 01:09:54,399
Yep.
1332
01:09:54,565 --> 01:09:56,484
"Yes, I'm excited."
1333
01:09:56,567 --> 01:09:57,735
Okay.
1334
01:09:57,819 --> 01:09:59,862
DJ Max is gonna put on some music.
1335
01:09:59,946 --> 01:10:02,824
And you just, you know,
shake your groove thing. Right?
1336
01:10:02,907 --> 01:10:06,160
Y'all ready to see it? DJ, stick it in.
1337
01:10:06,285 --> 01:10:09,372
Come on, everybody get sexy now.
1338
01:10:09,455 --> 01:10:12,959
Feel the beat. Okay, Will.
1339
01:10:13,876 --> 01:10:17,839
All right. Okay, get to the front.
Let's see what you really got, honey.
1340
01:10:17,922 --> 01:10:19,340
All right, Will. Let's go.
1341
01:10:19,424 --> 01:10:20,425
Uh
1342
01:10:22,051 --> 01:10:23,094
Uh, uh
1343
01:10:23,177 --> 01:10:25,054
Get sexy. Ooh. Ooh.
1344
01:10:25,430 --> 01:10:26,639
Get sexy.
1345
01:10:26,723 --> 01:10:29,600
Yeah. Okay, somebody's been studying!
1346
01:10:30,309 --> 01:10:33,438
Yes. That's right. Think Paula Abdul.
1347
01:10:34,480 --> 01:10:38,025
Yes, okay. Not RoboCop, Paula Abdul.
1348
01:10:41,571 --> 01:10:45,700
Oh, Will, babe. Okay, the '90s.
Just straight up the '90s.
1349
01:10:45,867 --> 01:10:49,287
Okay. Yes, okay. West Side Story.
1350
01:10:49,370 --> 01:10:51,748
In the '90s. Okay!
1351
01:10:52,582 --> 01:10:53,666
Oh, Will!
1352
01:10:56,544 --> 01:10:58,921
Okay. Okay, oh, yeah, yeah.
1353
01:11:00,548 --> 01:11:02,884
You got your eye on somebody. All right!
1354
01:12:18,751 --> 01:12:21,045
- Girl, come on. Tell us.
- Not now. Later.
1355
01:12:21,128 --> 01:12:22,588
- But we wanna know now.
- Stop!
1356
01:12:22,672 --> 01:12:24,632
- You were gone forever yesterday.
- Stop.
1357
01:12:24,715 --> 01:12:26,884
- And no texts, nothing.
- We thought you were dead.
1358
01:12:26,968 --> 01:12:29,929
- Okay. Well, I'm here now. Okay?
- Well, who was it?
1359
01:12:30,012 --> 01:12:31,722
Who even says I was with someone?
1360
01:12:31,806 --> 01:12:35,768
Guys, remember when he got locked
in that guy's bathroom for six hours?
1361
01:12:35,852 --> 01:12:38,771
Maybe he got locked in two
different bathrooms. That's half a day.
1362
01:12:38,855 --> 01:12:41,858
Okay. Well, for your information,
actually, I was with a guy.
1363
01:12:41,941 --> 01:12:43,860
- I knew it.
- Sorry, Noah.
1364
01:12:43,943 --> 01:12:46,654
Looks like I'm the hot one now.
1365
01:12:50,157 --> 01:12:52,618
- He got locked in a bathroom again.
- Without question.
1366
01:12:56,831 --> 01:12:59,792
Okay, ma'am,
how long are you gonna be mad at me?
1367
01:12:59,876 --> 01:13:02,503
- Sir, I'm not mad at you.
- This is the longest
1368
01:13:02,587 --> 01:13:05,590
you've not talked to me since
I said Call Me By Your Name was boring.
1369
01:13:05,673 --> 01:13:08,050
I'm sorry it's not part
of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
1370
01:13:08,134 --> 01:13:11,137
- Next, we've got Howie!
- What? No, I didn't...
1371
01:13:11,220 --> 01:13:13,014
- We did. You have to.
- No, I can't...
1372
01:13:13,097 --> 01:13:14,682
Come on. It's tradition.
1373
01:13:14,765 --> 01:13:16,893
Hey!
1374
01:13:33,993 --> 01:13:37,079
You tell me you're in love with me
1375
01:13:38,539 --> 01:13:43,044
Like you can't take
your pretty eyes away from me
1376
01:13:43,669 --> 01:13:47,381
It's not that I don't wanna stay
1377
01:13:48,341 --> 01:13:52,345
But every time you come too close
I move away
1378
01:13:52,428 --> 01:13:54,764
- Ooh
- I wanna believe
1379
01:13:54,847 --> 01:13:57,683
In everything that you say
1380
01:13:58,142 --> 01:14:01,228
'Cause it sounds so good
1381
01:14:01,312 --> 01:14:06,025
But if you really want me
Move slow
1382
01:14:06,108 --> 01:14:09,946
There's things about me
you just have to know
1383
01:14:10,029 --> 01:14:11,489
Sometimes I run
1384
01:14:12,657 --> 01:14:14,992
Sometimes I hide
1385
01:14:15,076 --> 01:14:17,787
Sometimes I'm scared of you
1386
01:14:17,870 --> 01:14:22,667
But all I really want
is to hold you tight
1387
01:14:22,750 --> 01:14:27,713
Treat you right
Be with you day and night
1388
01:14:27,797 --> 01:14:30,132
Baby, all I need is time
1389
01:14:30,216 --> 01:14:32,802
Just hang around and you'll see
1390
01:14:32,885 --> 01:14:35,596
There's nowhere I'd rather be
1391
01:14:35,680 --> 01:14:39,892
If you love me, trust in me
1392
01:14:39,976 --> 01:14:44,730
The way that I trust in you
1393
01:14:44,814 --> 01:14:46,399
We love you, girls!
1394
01:14:48,401 --> 01:14:50,945
Shut up.
1395
01:14:53,114 --> 01:14:54,782
I know all the words.
1396
01:14:54,865 --> 01:14:56,659
Sometimes I run
1397
01:14:57,868 --> 01:14:59,745
Sometimes I hide
1398
01:14:59,829 --> 01:15:03,124
Sometimes I'm scared of you
1399
01:15:03,207 --> 01:15:07,962
But all I really want
is to hold you tight
1400
01:15:08,045 --> 01:15:12,717
Treat you right
Be with you day and night
1401
01:15:12,800 --> 01:15:16,387
Baby, all I need is time
1402
01:15:16,470 --> 01:15:19,265
Give it to me!
1403
01:15:23,352 --> 01:15:25,021
Come on, girls!
1404
01:15:31,152 --> 01:15:32,903
Girl, what's the matter?
1405
01:15:32,987 --> 01:15:34,027
- More words, okay?
- Luke!
1406
01:15:34,071 --> 01:15:36,615
- What's going on?
- My poor Luke!
1407
01:15:36,699 --> 01:15:39,285
Poor me? What? Oh, my God.
1408
01:15:41,120 --> 01:15:42,163
Is that me?
1409
01:15:42,872 --> 01:15:43,956
What the fuck?
1410
01:15:46,417 --> 01:15:48,002
Fuck, is that Dex?
1411
01:15:48,085 --> 01:15:51,630
- Why are you in a video with Dex?
- My friend Jonathan sent it to me.
1412
01:15:51,714 --> 01:15:54,675
Some guy named TJ screen-recorded it
and sent it to Greg,
1413
01:15:54,759 --> 01:15:57,094
who recognized Luke,
then sent it to Jonathan!
1414
01:15:57,178 --> 01:16:00,056
Probably half the cater-waiters
on the Lower East Side have seen it.
1415
01:16:00,139 --> 01:16:02,475
There's not much to do
between courses besides jerk off.
1416
01:16:02,558 --> 01:16:04,435
This is bad, that's my whole face.
1417
01:16:04,518 --> 01:16:07,188
Did he tell you he was gonna do that?
If it was okay?
1418
01:16:07,271 --> 01:16:08,355
What do you think?
1419
01:16:08,439 --> 01:16:10,274
I don't know. I don't remember.
1420
01:16:10,357 --> 01:16:13,235
I was so fucked up
I barely remember having sex with him.
1421
01:16:13,319 --> 01:16:14,320
This is not cool.
1422
01:16:14,403 --> 01:16:16,947
But I remember I woke up
in the morning and he was there.
1423
01:16:17,031 --> 01:16:19,200
And we spent
the whole day mostly fucking,
1424
01:16:19,283 --> 01:16:21,202
which I definitely consented to that.
1425
01:16:21,285 --> 01:16:24,330
And I thought the whole thing
was kind of romantic until right now.
1426
01:16:24,413 --> 01:16:26,248
- Give me that.
- What are you gonna do?
1427
01:16:26,332 --> 01:16:28,834
Please don't do anything insane.
Just have him take it down.
1428
01:16:28,918 --> 01:16:31,754
I don't want him mad at me,
so don't be all Noah about it.
1429
01:16:31,837 --> 01:16:33,047
I'm gonna kill him.
1430
01:16:33,130 --> 01:16:34,131
Sure.
1431
01:16:34,840 --> 01:16:38,094
- Luke, I'm so sor...
- What the fuck! That is so fucked up!
1432
01:16:38,719 --> 01:16:40,471
You'll be happy to know you were right.
1433
01:16:40,554 --> 01:16:42,598
I'm gonna be honest.
This feels like a trap.
1434
01:16:45,226 --> 01:16:47,561
- Why am I looking at pornography?
- Look closer.
1435
01:16:49,897 --> 01:16:53,776
- I'm gonna kill him.
- No, wait. I said that. That's my thing.
1436
01:16:56,779 --> 01:16:58,697
- Hey, what's up?
- Fucking little shit!
1437
01:17:02,827 --> 01:17:04,870
- What the fuck?
- Look familiar?
1438
01:17:06,038 --> 01:17:08,791
Okay. I think there's been
some kind of misunderstanding, okay?
1439
01:17:08,874 --> 01:17:10,042
You don't get to be dry.
1440
01:17:10,126 --> 01:17:13,045
If you're pissed because
I fucked your friend instead of you,
1441
01:17:13,129 --> 01:17:14,839
- the least you could've...
- Nice try.
1442
01:17:14,922 --> 01:17:18,300
I'm pissed because you're a loser and
a fraud who takes advantage of people.
1443
01:17:18,384 --> 01:17:20,302
He was willing.
More than I can say for you.
1444
01:17:20,386 --> 01:17:22,680
He didn't know
you'd put this online! That's...
1445
01:17:22,763 --> 01:17:23,764
A crime.
1446
01:17:25,182 --> 01:17:27,685
Without some sort of
written waiver of consent,
1447
01:17:27,768 --> 01:17:31,105
this meets the criteria under
New York state law for revenge porn.
1448
01:17:32,189 --> 01:17:36,402
Add in the illegal substances involved
and you're looking at jail time,
1449
01:17:36,485 --> 01:17:39,613
a hefty fine,
and registration as a sex offender.
1450
01:17:39,697 --> 01:17:42,116
- Hold on. We do not have...
- Speaking with the victim,
1451
01:17:42,199 --> 01:17:44,535
I think we can resolve
this matter right now.
1452
01:17:46,912 --> 01:17:47,913
How?
1453
01:17:47,997 --> 01:17:51,709
Delete the video on your phone
and your website for starters.
1454
01:17:51,792 --> 01:17:52,877
Now.
1455
01:17:54,295 --> 01:17:56,046
I would make it
my personal mission
1456
01:17:56,130 --> 01:17:59,133
to make sure
these videos disappear forever.
1457
01:17:59,216 --> 01:18:01,093
And you have to delete your Instagram.
1458
01:18:01,177 --> 01:18:03,971
- What? No way!
- I don't think we can make him do that.
1459
01:18:04,054 --> 01:18:06,390
If a judge saw the Instagram,
they'd be on my side.
1460
01:18:07,474 --> 01:18:08,851
Fuck, just check his phone.
1461
01:18:14,273 --> 01:18:15,816
Awesome. We're done here.
1462
01:18:19,278 --> 01:18:22,448
- Those are waterproof now, you know.
- Don't ruin this for me.
1463
01:18:23,073 --> 01:18:25,201
Shut the fuck up!
You made that up?
1464
01:18:25,284 --> 01:18:30,247
Some of it. Some of it was
a little bit of an exaggeration.
1465
01:18:30,331 --> 01:18:32,333
Holy shit! You Legally Blonde'd him.
1466
01:18:32,416 --> 01:18:34,710
- Oh, my God.
- Sorry, I don't know what that is.
1467
01:18:35,878 --> 01:18:37,046
You don't know what...
1468
01:18:37,129 --> 01:18:40,841
Oh, my God! We were having such a nice
moment, and you had to ruin it.
1469
01:18:42,009 --> 01:18:45,137
Is that what you do in L. A.?
Big trial lawyer like the...
1470
01:18:45,221 --> 01:18:47,514
No, I work for a nonprofit.
1471
01:18:48,599 --> 01:18:51,810
Mostly tenants' rights stuff,
wrongful evictions.
1472
01:18:51,894 --> 01:18:53,103
Nothing sexy.
1473
01:18:54,563 --> 01:18:55,606
Yeah. Sure.
1474
01:18:56,565 --> 01:18:58,692
I'm just happy
that I could help, you know?
1475
01:18:59,777 --> 01:19:00,819
Dex, he...
1476
01:19:02,112 --> 01:19:06,367
He's never really been concerned
about enthusiastic consent.
1477
01:19:06,450 --> 01:19:09,286
Just... I couldn't do much last time.
1478
01:19:09,370 --> 01:19:11,080
My friend, he was embarrassed, I think,
1479
01:19:11,163 --> 01:19:13,457
and didn't want us to talk about it,
so we didn't.
1480
01:19:13,540 --> 01:19:15,334
And Dex got to keep his image.
1481
01:19:15,793 --> 01:19:18,462
Yeah, well,
people will talk about it now.
1482
01:19:18,963 --> 01:19:20,339
I've got a real big mouth.
1483
01:19:20,422 --> 01:19:23,175
I don't know how things work in L. A.,
but in New York,
1484
01:19:23,259 --> 01:19:24,927
we've ostracized people for way less.
1485
01:19:25,636 --> 01:19:27,096
That's something, at least.
1486
01:19:30,182 --> 01:19:31,183
Hey, um...
1487
01:19:32,101 --> 01:19:34,687
Seriously, thank you. I owe you one.
1488
01:19:40,109 --> 01:19:41,819
Time on Fire Island...
1489
01:19:46,782 --> 01:19:49,535
Sometimes it feels
like it stretches on forever.
1490
01:19:56,333 --> 01:19:57,418
Hey!
1491
01:19:58,168 --> 01:19:59,253
So, what happened?
1492
01:20:00,170 --> 01:20:01,338
I'll be up in a minute.
1493
01:20:02,089 --> 01:20:03,090
Come on.
1494
01:20:06,677 --> 01:20:07,928
Sure you don't wanna come up?
1495
01:20:08,012 --> 01:20:11,432
Yeah, no,
I'm not very good at parties. So...
1496
01:20:11,515 --> 01:20:14,268
- What? You're not good at parties?
- Uh...
1497
01:20:14,768 --> 01:20:16,937
- Not Will! No.
- All right.
1498
01:20:17,021 --> 01:20:19,732
- Not good at parties? What?
- Calm down.
1499
01:20:31,618 --> 01:20:33,162
So I pushed him in the pool,
1500
01:20:33,245 --> 01:20:35,331
and he looked up at me
and said, "I love you."
1501
01:20:35,414 --> 01:20:37,666
And I said,
"You don't know what love is."
1502
01:20:37,750 --> 01:20:39,460
And then I realized, "You're ugly."
1503
01:20:39,543 --> 01:20:41,754
Can't believe
you're letting him tell your story.
1504
01:20:41,837 --> 01:20:45,299
Yeah, I think this is just
his way of processing things.
1505
01:20:46,800 --> 01:20:47,968
Where did Will go?
1506
01:20:48,427 --> 01:20:49,553
Why would I know that?
1507
01:20:49,636 --> 01:20:52,306
You don't have to do this.
You don't have to worry about me.
1508
01:20:52,389 --> 01:20:54,183
You can fuck whoever you want.
1509
01:20:54,266 --> 01:20:57,311
Okay, that is definitely
not what I am looking for.
1510
01:20:57,394 --> 01:21:00,147
And by the way,
I'm not done worrying about you.
1511
01:21:00,230 --> 01:21:02,858
If I hadn't pushed you,
literally pushed you, then...
1512
01:21:02,941 --> 01:21:05,736
I told you,
I'm fine with the Charlie of it all.
1513
01:21:05,819 --> 01:21:08,280
- And honestly...
- Are you talking about me?
1514
01:21:08,364 --> 01:21:10,824
No. We're talking
about our other friend Charlie.
1515
01:21:11,492 --> 01:21:13,452
He died in a fire.
1516
01:21:13,535 --> 01:21:14,912
It's really sad.
1517
01:21:15,162 --> 01:21:17,039
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
1518
01:21:17,289 --> 01:21:19,541
Ignore him. Did you have fun?
1519
01:21:19,708 --> 01:21:22,586
I did. Yes.
We don't usually go to karaoke.
1520
01:21:22,753 --> 01:21:27,633
Just the parties. So, I was glad
that you showed it to me before Rhys...
1521
01:21:27,716 --> 01:21:31,095
Choo-choo, where's my vodka soda?
Baby's thirsty.
1522
01:21:31,762 --> 01:21:32,763
Uh...
1523
01:21:32,846 --> 01:21:36,975
Sorry, you guys don't know each other.
Rhys, this is Howie and Noah.
1524
01:21:37,059 --> 01:21:40,270
Oh, my God, cute. Boyfriend twins!
It's like looking in a mirror.
1525
01:21:40,354 --> 01:21:42,189
Sweetie, they're not boyfriends.
1526
01:21:42,272 --> 01:21:43,941
Come on, let's go in and dance.
1527
01:21:44,024 --> 01:21:45,984
I'm horny, okay?
1528
01:21:46,777 --> 01:21:48,195
I'll see you guys later?
1529
01:21:48,695 --> 01:21:50,280
- Later, hons.
- Bye.
1530
01:21:50,364 --> 01:21:53,867
Yeah, I'm gonna go to the bathroom
and scrub my eyeballs out.
1531
01:21:53,951 --> 01:21:55,702
Yeah, probably a good plan. Hey.
1532
01:22:01,875 --> 01:22:03,669
You know what?
Actually, let's do it later.
1533
01:22:03,752 --> 01:22:04,878
No. We're doing it now.
1534
01:22:07,423 --> 01:22:08,590
- Hey.
- Hey.
1535
01:22:08,966 --> 01:22:11,093
Hey. Um...
1536
01:22:11,385 --> 01:22:12,428
How are you doing?
1537
01:22:13,137 --> 01:22:15,681
Look, you did not have to do that
for me before.
1538
01:22:16,557 --> 01:22:17,641
Especially for me,
1539
01:22:17,724 --> 01:22:19,560
'cause I'm such a bitch
to you all the time.
1540
01:22:19,643 --> 01:22:22,104
I know we're friends,
but things are obviously different...
1541
01:22:22,187 --> 01:22:25,357
It's not even that we're friends, Luke.
We're more than that.
1542
01:22:25,441 --> 01:22:29,736
We're family, right?
Like, that means something to me.
1543
01:22:29,820 --> 01:22:31,321
Because you two and...
1544
01:22:31,405 --> 01:22:34,741
All you guys, you're, like, all I have.
1545
01:22:38,871 --> 01:22:42,124
Whatever. Are we gonna hug
and wrap this up? How does this end?
1546
01:22:42,207 --> 01:22:44,084
Why don't we get fucked up and dance?
1547
01:22:44,918 --> 01:22:46,712
Come on. You're gonna be okay.
1548
01:22:46,795 --> 01:22:48,213
Oh, I am?
1549
01:22:48,297 --> 01:22:49,756
- Are we gonna hug?
- No.
1550
01:23:00,851 --> 01:23:01,852
What are you doing?
1551
01:23:04,021 --> 01:23:05,022
Don't be mad.
1552
01:23:06,482 --> 01:23:07,816
Howard.
1553
01:23:07,900 --> 01:23:11,528
I can't do it.
I can't stay and see him...
1554
01:23:12,654 --> 01:23:14,740
Or see them together like that.
1555
01:23:14,823 --> 01:23:17,367
Oh, my God. You cannot end
your vacation because of one guy.
1556
01:23:17,451 --> 01:23:21,663
It's not just about Charlie.
It's a lifetime of Charlies.
1557
01:23:23,207 --> 01:23:26,668
I'm 30 and I've never had a boyfriend.
I've never been in a relationship.
1558
01:23:26,752 --> 01:23:28,462
- I've never...
- We've been through this.
1559
01:23:28,545 --> 01:23:31,340
Monogamy was created by straight people
to make us less interesting.
1560
01:23:31,423 --> 01:23:35,427
Yeah, I've heard your TED talk.
Listen. Please.
1561
01:23:38,305 --> 01:23:39,306
Okay.
1562
01:23:45,812 --> 01:23:47,397
You're the only person I know
1563
01:23:48,357 --> 01:23:51,360
who understands
how shitty it can be sometimes
1564
01:23:52,486 --> 01:23:55,822
to feel unwanted like this.
1565
01:23:57,407 --> 01:23:59,993
And I'm so glad
that you've found a way to feel good
1566
01:24:00,077 --> 01:24:03,247
despite all the fucked-up shit
we deal with.
1567
01:24:03,705 --> 01:24:07,960
But you think that if you're vulnerable
for just one second,
1568
01:24:08,043 --> 01:24:10,254
that it's all gonna come crashing down.
1569
01:24:10,337 --> 01:24:15,425
And maybe that's true for you,
but it's not true for me.
1570
01:24:16,969 --> 01:24:18,595
I want to be vulnerable.
1571
01:24:19,638 --> 01:24:21,348
Even if it hurts.
1572
01:24:23,559 --> 01:24:26,520
Your rules, they don't work for me.
1573
01:24:27,813 --> 01:24:31,483
And honestly, I don't know
that they're working for you either.
1574
01:24:33,694 --> 01:24:35,696
So let me be sad about this,
1575
01:24:36,738 --> 01:24:40,826
and deal with it
and figure it out my own way.
1576
01:24:46,248 --> 01:24:48,959
Yeah, but my way you get to cum a bunch.
1577
01:24:49,042 --> 01:24:52,087
Oh, my God, I'm gonna masturbate
so much when I get home.
1578
01:24:53,630 --> 01:24:55,674
What the fuck...
1579
01:24:56,133 --> 01:24:57,259
When are you leaving?
1580
01:24:57,926 --> 01:24:59,011
Five o'clock ferry.
1581
01:24:59,094 --> 01:25:02,097
Oh, my God, you couldn't even stay
for one last sunset?
1582
01:25:02,639 --> 01:25:05,350
This is the last time
we're gonna be in our home together.
1583
01:25:05,434 --> 01:25:08,061
Our friendship isn't just
limited to this island.
1584
01:25:08,604 --> 01:25:11,106
You know,
you've never come to visit me in S. F.
1585
01:25:11,189 --> 01:25:13,108
I'm not flying Spirit for you, bitch.
1586
01:25:18,113 --> 01:25:19,823
- Does Charlie know?
- No.
1587
01:25:19,906 --> 01:25:22,159
Probably give me
another pity conversation.
1588
01:25:22,242 --> 01:25:25,662
And at this point, it would
make me feel even more pathetic.
1589
01:25:25,746 --> 01:25:27,039
Or he could,
1590
01:25:28,081 --> 01:25:30,667
you know, do one of those
pre-9/11 rom-com moves,
1591
01:25:30,751 --> 01:25:33,420
you know, where somebody
rushes through an airport
1592
01:25:33,503 --> 01:25:35,255
and stops you from getting on the plane.
1593
01:25:35,339 --> 01:25:38,759
And then, you kiss and it's awesome.
1594
01:25:38,967 --> 01:25:41,637
I thought you didn't want
the rom-com bullshit for me.
1595
01:25:42,095 --> 01:25:45,223
Babe, all I want is for you to be happy.
1596
01:25:46,058 --> 01:25:47,100
Always.
1597
01:25:50,103 --> 01:25:52,481
Promise me you won't tell Charlie.
1598
01:25:54,191 --> 01:25:55,192
I promise.
1599
01:25:56,151 --> 01:25:57,152
Charlie!
1600
01:25:57,235 --> 01:25:59,029
I mean, you had to
see that coming, right?
1601
01:25:59,112 --> 01:26:00,781
- Can we help you?
- Help me? Yeah.
1602
01:26:00,864 --> 01:26:03,033
You could get a new
fucking line, Braden. Jesus.
1603
01:26:03,241 --> 01:26:05,118
Wait, he's leaving? Why?
1604
01:26:05,202 --> 01:26:06,411
Do you need a hint?
1605
01:26:06,495 --> 01:26:09,956
Okay. Fair. Um, look, the timing of this
is just really shitty.
1606
01:26:10,040 --> 01:26:12,542
- Fuck the timing. Go and stop him.
- It's not that simple.
1607
01:26:12,626 --> 01:26:15,337
I've known Rhys
since before I came out, and I owe him.
1608
01:26:15,420 --> 01:26:19,174
Listen, I get it. I get your whole
nice guy schtick, all right?
1609
01:26:19,257 --> 01:26:22,469
But you have the chance
at something real with Howie.
1610
01:26:22,552 --> 01:26:24,888
Something great. I don't really get it.
1611
01:26:24,971 --> 01:26:27,224
But what the fuck do I know?
I've been wrong before.
1612
01:26:27,307 --> 01:26:28,558
I've been wrong a lot.
1613
01:26:29,017 --> 01:26:33,480
This week, especially,
about people and situations and...
1614
01:26:36,566 --> 01:26:39,820
Stuff, okay?
Maybe I was even wrong about you.
1615
01:26:39,903 --> 01:26:42,155
Maybe you're not the idiot
that I thought you were.
1616
01:26:42,239 --> 01:26:43,740
Prove me wrong. Go and do something,
1617
01:26:43,824 --> 01:26:46,118
because if you fuck this up,
it's game over.
1618
01:26:46,201 --> 01:26:48,870
- You won't get another shot.
- What are you doing?
1619
01:26:48,954 --> 01:26:51,581
- Howie's leaving.
- Jesus. Are we still on this?
1620
01:26:51,665 --> 01:26:53,375
Nobody wants to fuck your friend.
1621
01:26:53,458 --> 01:26:56,378
Wait. You think Charlie
likes that little Asian guy?
1622
01:26:56,461 --> 01:26:58,797
- Rhys.
- I mean, come on. He's joking, right?
1623
01:26:58,880 --> 01:27:00,507
- You're the Amy Schumer one?
- Enough.
1624
01:27:00,590 --> 01:27:02,259
- But...
- I said, enough.
1625
01:27:02,342 --> 01:27:05,220
- What is wrong with you?
- Yeah, I think I get the gist.
1626
01:27:06,430 --> 01:27:08,432
- Noah, I'm sorry.
- You know what's funny?
1627
01:27:08,515 --> 01:27:10,058
I am the only person this week
1628
01:27:10,142 --> 01:27:12,561
who stopped to consider
whether you deserved him.
1629
01:27:14,312 --> 01:27:15,939
You were right about this place.
1630
01:27:20,777 --> 01:27:23,113
I'm sorry. What is happening?
1631
01:27:30,454 --> 01:27:32,038
It's just not right.
1632
01:27:32,122 --> 01:27:34,708
- You'll barely notice I'm gone.
- Not true.
1633
01:27:35,417 --> 01:27:37,335
Where's Noah?
1634
01:27:37,419 --> 01:27:40,046
Probably taking one of Max's
little walks in the Meat Rack.
1635
01:27:40,130 --> 01:27:42,799
For your information,
I'm looking at constellations.
1636
01:27:42,883 --> 01:27:44,384
Oh, sweetie, give it a rest.
1637
01:27:44,468 --> 01:27:47,387
We all know you're getting
your ass ate in the dunes.
1638
01:27:47,471 --> 01:27:49,389
Sorry. Sorry.
1639
01:27:50,015 --> 01:27:52,267
You know me. Always late for the ferry.
1640
01:27:52,851 --> 01:27:54,519
Are you sure this is how you wanna go?
1641
01:27:56,313 --> 01:27:57,397
Yeah. I am.
1642
01:28:01,568 --> 01:28:02,986
Promise I'll come visit you.
1643
01:28:06,156 --> 01:28:07,157
Okay.
1644
01:28:33,433 --> 01:28:37,771
Why does this feel like...
Like the last summer here, like, ever?
1645
01:28:37,854 --> 01:28:39,481
'Cause it is, stupid.
1646
01:28:39,564 --> 01:28:40,857
Couldn't last forever.
1647
01:28:41,566 --> 01:28:43,235
Some things have to change.
1648
01:28:44,903 --> 01:28:46,822
Feels like
all the wrong stuff is changing.
1649
01:29:13,974 --> 01:29:14,975
So, what's our plan?
1650
01:29:15,058 --> 01:29:18,270
To sort of stand here sadly
in the direct sun all day, or...
1651
01:29:18,353 --> 01:29:20,105
You couldn't even give us a minute.
1652
01:29:20,188 --> 01:29:23,233
I know Howie. He would not want us
to sit here and mope on the dock.
1653
01:29:23,316 --> 01:29:25,819
He would want us
to do bumps of K by the pool.
1654
01:29:25,902 --> 01:29:27,237
- So let's go.
- Fuck!
1655
01:29:27,320 --> 01:29:29,364
Did he get on? Did I miss him?
1656
01:29:29,447 --> 01:29:32,117
- What the fuck are you doing here? Hi.
- Hey.
1657
01:29:32,200 --> 01:29:34,828
- I thought I could stop him.
- You fucked that one up, buddy.
1658
01:29:34,911 --> 01:29:38,790
- He's halfway to the mainland by now.
- So what should I do? Should I call him?
1659
01:29:38,874 --> 01:29:41,960
If you wanted to fix this,
you'd have to do something really big,
1660
01:29:42,043 --> 01:29:44,212
something colossally stupid.
1661
01:29:44,296 --> 01:29:45,297
Okay.
1662
01:29:46,214 --> 01:29:48,383
I'm not sure I know what that means.
1663
01:29:48,466 --> 01:29:50,635
I have an idea. Follow me.
1664
01:29:50,719 --> 01:29:51,887
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1665
01:29:51,970 --> 01:29:53,138
What are you doing?
1666
01:29:53,221 --> 01:29:55,682
Something big. Something stupid.
1667
01:30:00,979 --> 01:30:03,148
I don't think
I wanna be implicated in this.
1668
01:30:03,231 --> 01:30:05,734
Ah. Come on.
1669
01:30:24,252 --> 01:30:25,503
Howie!
1670
01:30:25,587 --> 01:30:29,382
Howie! Howie! Howie!
1671
01:30:42,187 --> 01:30:44,022
Don't look over there. Look over here.
1672
01:30:44,105 --> 01:30:46,691
- What am I gonna say when I get there?
- You'll figure it out.
1673
01:30:50,862 --> 01:30:53,114
Whatever you do, stay on the dock.
1674
01:30:53,198 --> 01:30:55,033
I have a 6:15 train.
1675
01:30:55,116 --> 01:30:57,369
I have a feeling
you'll wanna hear this.
1676
01:30:57,452 --> 01:30:58,954
Okay, but why all the flags?
1677
01:31:00,330 --> 01:31:02,791
Did you steal a water taxi?
1678
01:31:02,874 --> 01:31:05,543
We did. Yeah.
There's a really angry lesbian on there.
1679
01:31:05,627 --> 01:31:08,713
Uh, look, I need to say that I'm sorry.
1680
01:31:08,797 --> 01:31:11,174
I'm really, really sorry for everything.
1681
01:31:11,257 --> 01:31:12,509
It's fine, Charlie. I'm fine.
1682
01:31:12,592 --> 01:31:15,220
No, it's not. Everything with Rhys, I...
1683
01:31:15,303 --> 01:31:16,346
I wasn't thinking.
1684
01:31:16,429 --> 01:31:17,847
I thought that I had to...
1685
01:31:18,848 --> 01:31:21,476
It doesn't matter what I thought.
I was wrong.
1686
01:31:21,559 --> 01:31:23,895
Okay, Charlie,
this is your big rom-com moment.
1687
01:31:23,979 --> 01:31:25,939
You gotta do something big.
Something stupid.
1688
01:31:26,231 --> 01:31:27,273
I love you.
1689
01:31:27,357 --> 01:31:30,318
- Oh!
- No. Too big. Too stupid. Dial it back.
1690
01:31:30,402 --> 01:31:32,112
Yeah, it's a little weird.
1691
01:31:32,362 --> 01:31:36,241
- We're not really there yet.
- Yeah. Okay. All I'm trying to say is...
1692
01:31:37,742 --> 01:31:39,285
I don't know why this is so hard.
1693
01:31:39,369 --> 01:31:41,329
I gotta catch my shuttle
or I'll miss my train.
1694
01:31:41,413 --> 01:31:43,206
No, wait. Okay, look...
1695
01:31:46,001 --> 01:31:47,585
I just need you to know
1696
01:31:48,378 --> 01:31:51,464
how fucking incredible
I think that you are.
1697
01:31:53,008 --> 01:31:55,927
You are the most interesting man
I have ever met,
1698
01:31:56,803 --> 01:31:59,973
and the funniest, and you're beautiful.
1699
01:32:02,058 --> 01:32:04,561
And I really, really like you.
1700
01:32:07,397 --> 01:32:09,983
I just wanted you to know that
before you left.
1701
01:32:10,817 --> 01:32:12,235
And Noah said a bunch of stuff...
1702
01:32:12,318 --> 01:32:16,573
Oh, Jesus, please don't ever,
ever listen to Noah.
1703
01:32:17,824 --> 01:32:18,867
Now you tell me.
1704
01:32:22,287 --> 01:32:24,622
You actually stole a boat for me?
1705
01:32:25,248 --> 01:32:27,208
I actually stole a boat for you.
1706
01:32:45,643 --> 01:32:48,730
Okay, can we go to Cherry Grove now?
1707
01:32:48,813 --> 01:32:51,024
We will get there when we get there.
1708
01:33:20,220 --> 01:33:23,264
This whole time
we were so worried about the house,
1709
01:33:24,557 --> 01:33:27,310
but it's never been about the house.
1710
01:33:29,562 --> 01:33:31,314
It's always been about the people.
1711
01:33:32,440 --> 01:33:33,525
We'll be fine.
1712
01:33:34,984 --> 01:33:36,236
We'll make new memories.
1713
01:33:38,238 --> 01:33:39,656
But when I look back on the years
1714
01:33:39,739 --> 01:33:42,075
I got to spend with my family
on Fire Island...
1715
01:33:45,995 --> 01:33:47,372
This is what I'll remember.
1716
01:34:12,355 --> 01:34:13,690
Today was a lot.
1717
01:34:16,484 --> 01:34:17,527
Yeah.
1718
01:34:18,486 --> 01:34:21,906
All that drama for what?
Somebody you met five days ago.
1719
01:34:21,990 --> 01:34:24,617
Yeah, 'cause, I mean, what happens now?
1720
01:34:24,701 --> 01:34:27,495
Howie goes back to S. F.,
the Pines bubble bursts.
1721
01:34:27,871 --> 01:34:30,206
Then six months from now,
they'll probably just be...
1722
01:34:30,290 --> 01:34:31,374
In love.
1723
01:34:32,792 --> 01:34:34,711
Maybe even happy.
1724
01:34:37,755 --> 01:34:40,258
Yeah. Yeah, you're probably right.
1725
01:34:41,634 --> 01:34:45,054
You know, I think that's what
Howie always wanted out of these trips.
1726
01:34:45,138 --> 01:34:48,808
Come out here,
meet some vacation boyfriend.
1727
01:34:48,892 --> 01:34:50,643
Lug him back to the real world.
1728
01:34:54,314 --> 01:34:55,440
What about you?
1729
01:34:57,358 --> 01:34:58,484
What do you want?
1730
01:35:01,821 --> 01:35:03,948
You know, it's so weird, I...
1731
01:35:04,032 --> 01:35:07,243
My whole life, I felt like
I've had everything figured out,
1732
01:35:07,327 --> 01:35:08,745
everybody,
1733
01:35:08,828 --> 01:35:12,624
and then I come out here and I just
keep getting thrown, you know?
1734
01:35:12,707 --> 01:35:16,419
It's like, God, have I been wrong
about everything this week?
1735
01:35:17,837 --> 01:35:20,965
It feels longer, doesn't it?
It's like time works...
1736
01:35:21,716 --> 01:35:23,384
It just works differently here.
1737
01:35:24,010 --> 01:35:25,762
Does that sound crazy?
1738
01:35:28,056 --> 01:35:29,057
Little bit.
1739
01:35:32,352 --> 01:35:34,062
What about you? What do you want?
1740
01:35:34,771 --> 01:35:37,065
You probably want
some gay marriage nightmare.
1741
01:35:37,273 --> 01:35:39,776
Joint Instagram accounts,
a French bulldog.
1742
01:35:39,859 --> 01:35:40,985
God, no! It's...
1743
01:35:41,986 --> 01:35:43,696
I don't think monogamy is for me.
1744
01:35:46,324 --> 01:35:47,825
Yeah. I mean, same.
1745
01:35:49,494 --> 01:35:51,162
And I don't really like dogs.
1746
01:35:54,332 --> 01:35:56,626
Okay. So, what do you want?
1747
01:36:02,674 --> 01:36:03,716
I want that.
1748
01:36:10,306 --> 01:36:12,934
All right. You asked me what I wanted.
1749
01:36:13,017 --> 01:36:15,061
- Dance with me.
- What?
1750
01:36:15,144 --> 01:36:17,397
You've already run away
from me once this week.
1751
01:36:17,480 --> 01:36:20,858
I don't know if my pride could handle it
if it happened again.
1752
01:36:20,942 --> 01:36:22,026
- Will.
- Noah.
1753
01:36:23,194 --> 01:36:25,780
Listen, I just, um...
I really like my freedom.
1754
01:36:25,863 --> 01:36:27,490
That's like a big thing with me.
1755
01:36:27,573 --> 01:36:30,576
And I just, I'm doing
really, really, really well on my own
1756
01:36:30,660 --> 01:36:32,912
and the whole
falling-in-love-with-romance thing
1757
01:36:32,996 --> 01:36:35,581
is really stupid. And,
of course, we'd have great sex.
1758
01:36:35,665 --> 01:36:38,167
I mean, look at us. But the...
I'm not right for you.
1759
01:36:38,251 --> 01:36:41,087
And you're definitely
not right for me and it...
1760
01:36:41,170 --> 01:36:42,380
Hey, it's just a dance.
1761
01:36:43,589 --> 01:36:44,674
Yeah, but then what?
1762
01:36:45,633 --> 01:36:46,801
Guess we'll find out.
1763
01:36:50,596 --> 01:36:51,597
Okay.
1764
01:37:45,860 --> 01:37:52,825
'Cause when I'm bad, I'm so, so bad...
1765
01:37:52,992 --> 01:37:56,329
Excuse me.
I need a moment with my sister.
1766
01:37:56,829 --> 01:37:58,247
Of course.
1767
01:38:16,432 --> 01:38:18,059
Do it!
1768
01:44:14,415 --> 01:44:16,584
- Guys. Look alive. It's happening.
- Oh!
1769
01:44:16,751 --> 01:44:18,002
- Okay.
- All right.
1770
01:44:18,085 --> 01:44:21,756
Ten! Nine! Eight!
1771
01:44:21,839 --> 01:44:25,593
Seven! Six! Five!
1772
01:44:25,676 --> 01:44:26,802
Five!
1773
01:44:26,886 --> 01:44:29,138
Four!
1774
01:44:29,221 --> 01:44:31,932
Three!
1775
01:44:32,433 --> 01:44:35,728
Two!
1776
01:44:35,811 --> 01:44:37,605
One!
1777
01:44:37,688 --> 01:44:38,814
One-point-five.
1778
01:44:38,898 --> 01:44:41,859
- One-point-five.
- One-point-five.
1779
01:44:41,942 --> 01:44:44,320
One.
1780
01:44:44,403 --> 01:44:48,449
Point nine, point eight,
1781
01:44:48,532 --> 01:44:52,161
point seven, point six, point five,
point four, point three...
1782
01:44:55,539 --> 01:44:58,959
Oh, my God. Flawless countdown.
1783
01:44:59,043 --> 01:45:01,921
- She does the job every day.
- You're welcome, everyone.
139512
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