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1
00:00:08,467 --> 00:00:10,677
Keep shredding the nice lists!
2
00:00:10,761 --> 00:00:13,305
No one's getting presents
this year!
3
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,682
Get back to work,
4
00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:17,726
or I'll feed you to Jack frost!
5
00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:26,735
Hide!
6
00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:43,835
You're safe now.
You can come out.
7
00:00:47,256 --> 00:00:48,340
Who are you?
8
00:00:48,423 --> 00:00:49,466
I'm big Tim.
9
00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:52,427
That's right.
Tiny Tim is all grown up.
10
00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:54,304
And I need you
to help me save Christmas.
11
00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:56,014
Those men out there?
12
00:00:56,098 --> 00:00:57,975
They work for Ibiza scrooge.
13
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:01,478
Ebenezer's granddaughter?
14
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:02,646
The very one.
15
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:05,816
She captured Mrs. Claus,
stole Santa's sleigh,
16
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,734
and she's taken
New Orleans hostage.
17
00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:10,821
The ghost of Christmas future
has shown me what's to come.
18
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:13,991
And if Ibiza scrooge succeeds
at blowing up bourbon street,
19
00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:17,160
Christmas is over forever.
20
00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:19,037
Now, I don't know
about you guys,
21
00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:21,623
but I don't want to live
in a world without Christmas.
22
00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:24,960
Let's go save Christmas.
23
00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:27,629
And cut.
24
00:01:27,713 --> 00:01:29,798
Good job.
25
00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:32,467
Dwayne, can we, uh...
26
00:01:32,551 --> 00:01:33,927
Yeah, I'd love to.
27
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,221
What's going on with her?
28
00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:38,807
I don't know. That
last line, there's just...
29
00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:39,891
Flat. Flat.
30
00:01:39,975 --> 00:01:41,893
Completely flat. Yeah, nothing.
31
00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:44,229
I mean, it doesn't seem like
she is remotely moved at all
32
00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:45,355
by my big speech.
33
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,482
You wanna replace her?
With who? Kevin hart?
34
00:01:47,566 --> 00:01:49,085
I mean, we can't.
She's eight years old.
35
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,277
Would Kevin do this?
36
00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:53,071
No, I don't think
we can replace her.
37
00:01:53,155 --> 00:01:55,532
I mean, she's an Oscar
nominee, for god's sake.
38
00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:57,701
This is the biggest scene
in the movie.
39
00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:58,952
Now, if I can't convince her
40
00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:00,370
that Christmas is worth saving,
41
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,094
then how am I gonna convince
the audience?
42
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,248
There's no movie.
43
00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:06,543
Hey, Leslie. Hey.
44
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:08,646
Is everything okay?
You just... you seem a little...
45
00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:09,671
I'm fine.
46
00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:11,555
Just annoyed we're on
take nine of this scene.
47
00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:13,759
I mean, you and I,
48
00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:16,386
we've been around
for a long time.
49
00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:17,596
Between us,
50
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:20,807
we're working way too hard
for a dumb Christmas movie.
51
00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:24,519
Well, a Christmas peril
isn't a dumb Christmas movie.
52
00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:27,356
I know it's based on
a dickens classic or whatever,
53
00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:28,523
but a bunch of ghosts
54
00:02:28,607 --> 00:02:30,859
coming to teach you
about Christmas spirit?
55
00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:32,361
It's absurd.
56
00:02:32,444 --> 00:02:35,572
I know it sounds absurd,
but it's not.
57
00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:38,533
I know because
it actually happened to me.
58
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:43,413
It was Christmas 1982,
and I was about your age.
59
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,540
I was living
with my family in Hawaii,
60
00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:48,126
and it was going to be
the best Christmas ever.
61
00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:50,295
Ho, ho, ho. Merry christm...
62
00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,217
Commentator:
Santa claus is down.
63
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:56,677
You know what that means.
64
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,929
Mrs. Claus is up for grabs.
65
00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:01,223
Dwayne: My mom and I
were at a holiday match
66
00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:02,724
that my grandma was promoting,
67
00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:04,935
and she got all the best guys
to participate.
68
00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:07,288
Young rock:
Slay them, Santa dad!
69
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:09,815
Dwayne: My dad, the sou/man,
rocky Johnson,
70
00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:12,150
the iron sheik, andré the giant,
71
00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:15,278
"macho man" Randy savage,
and the wild Samoans.
72
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:16,988
Commentator:
Sika has the mistletoe!
73
00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:20,117
If he gets it to Mrs. Claus
and kisses her underneath it,
74
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,327
he wins the lady and the match.
75
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:23,787
He's been notoriously lonely
76
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,497
since his ex-girlfriend
stabbed him.
77
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:26,581
Oh, my god!
78
00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:28,667
Ain't no trade
79
00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:31,294
Santa's got a brand-new bag
80
00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:36,883
Commentator:
She doesn't need a Santa.
81
00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:40,137
She's a career woman
who can make it on her own.
82
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:43,640
It's 1982, folks.
It's a woman's world.
83
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,726
Yeah! Yeah!
84
00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:51,356
Here you are,
my famous keke pua'a.
85
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,191
All: Ooh!
86
00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:54,317
Finally.
87
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:55,694
Been waiting all year for these.
88
00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:57,237
You're too slow, rocky.
89
00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,239
Get in line, sucker.
90
00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:01,658
Nah, merry Christmas, man.
Thanks for having us.
91
00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:03,535
Randy, you never told me
92
00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:05,120
your girlfriend
could kick like that.
93
00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:06,413
Ooh, Elizabeth is great.
94
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:08,999
Yeah, she really
gets into character.
95
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,083
I do.
96
00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:12,210
In my mind, Santa cheated
on me with an elf,
97
00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:13,628
and I finally had it.
98
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,549
I cannot wait to open
my present tomorrow morning.
99
00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:18,759
I already know what it is.
100
00:04:18,842 --> 00:04:20,343
I only asked for
one thing this year.
101
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:21,470
A boat?
102
00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:24,014
Better. A cabbage patch kid.
103
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,807
Where are the ribbons?
104
00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:27,517
Where is the tissue paper?
105
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,478
Whoever wrapped this
hates children.
106
00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:31,521
My mom. She tries.
107
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:32,939
Hey, put that back.
108
00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:34,399
It's not Christmas morning yet.
109
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:36,443
See you tomorrow.
110
00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:39,529
Andre, why are you
still dressed as Merlin?
111
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:42,324
Mean gene, I'm pere Noel.
112
00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:43,408
Who's pere Noel?
113
00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:45,076
He's the father Christmas
in France.
114
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,578
So like green Santa?
115
00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:47,662
Green Santa?
116
00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,247
No.
117
00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:52,375
He brings Christmas magic
to whoever need it most.
118
00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:55,921
Okay.
119
00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:57,380
I went to three different stores
120
00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:58,524
looking for Dewey's present.
121
00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:00,091
There's that many stores now?
122
00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:01,760
Everywhere was sold out.
123
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:03,678
But I finally found it.
124
00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:05,222
I'm going to bed.
125
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,473
It's only 08:30.
126
00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:07,891
Are you even tired?
127
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,226
No, not really.
128
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:10,811
Hey, sheik,
can you choke me out?
129
00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:11,978
Yes, baba.
130
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:13,104
Oh, no, no, no, no!
131
00:05:13,188 --> 00:05:14,564
What? What did I do?
132
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,024
It's fine. I'lljustdrink nyquil.
133
00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:17,108
Don'tdrink nyquil.
134
00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:18,527
No sleep-enhancing drugs!
135
00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:44,636
Santa?
136
00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:48,849
No, dude. I'm you.
137
00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:50,976
From the future.
138
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:54,396
Wow. Me at 40.
139
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:55,856
I'm 15.
140
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,357
Fantastic.
141
00:05:57,816 --> 00:05:59,067
I've come to warn you.
142
00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:02,237
Tomorrow is gonna be
the worst day of your life.
143
00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:06,825
You really expect me to believe
144
00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:09,035
that the ghost
of your 15-year-old self
145
00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:10,620
came to visit
your 10-year-old self
146
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:11,705
on Christmas Eve?
147
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:13,724
Hey, look, I'm just telling
you what happened, all right?
148
00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:14,809
But if you don't wanna hear it,
149
00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:15,893
let's get back to work. Come on.
150
00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:18,128
No, no, no. I didn't say that.
151
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:20,755
Just voicing some questions.
Confinue.
152
00:06:21,673 --> 00:06:24,551
All right,
so me and my ghost self,
153
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:26,720
we were hanging out
in my grandma's kitchen.
154
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:27,888
You can eat?
155
00:06:28,263 --> 00:06:30,599
Yeah, but I don't go
to the bathroom.
156
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:32,434
Whoa.
157
00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:35,437
Wait, how can tomorrow
be the worst day of my life?
158
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,814
It's Christmas, and I'm
getting a cabbage patch kid.
159
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,399
Check the present.
160
00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:53,663
What is this?
161
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,040
Radish baby?
162
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:56,917
A knock-off cabbage patch kid.
163
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,561
Someone told mom
it was even more popular
164
00:06:58,585 --> 00:06:59,628
than the regular ones.
165
00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:02,339
No. This is the worst
present ever.
166
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,108
That's exactly what you'll say
tomorrow morning
167
00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:05,133
when you open it.
168
00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:06,676
Why have you
shown me this, spirit?
169
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,219
Well, I figured maybe at least
170
00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:10,430
you could salvage
some of this Christmas.
171
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:11,806
Because from this year forward,
172
00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:13,558
our christmases only get worse.
173
00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:14,935
Worse than this?
174
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:18,021
There is 1,000%
a soul trapped in here.
175
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:20,690
If you don't believe me,
I can show you.
176
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:23,109
But I'm warning you, it's bad.
177
00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:46,299
Where are we?
178
00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:49,052
Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. 1987.
179
00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:51,805
This is our worst
Christmas ever.
180
00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:55,475
Mom?
181
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,519
She can't hear you. No one can.
182
00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:59,938
Money was tight,
so we all gotjobs at the mall
183
00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:01,523
to make extra cash
for the holidays.
184
00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:03,733
Mom's job was wrapping gifts.
185
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:06,486
Here you are, sir.
Merry Christmas.
186
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:08,154
It looks like it was stomped on.
187
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:09,739
With joy?
188
00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:11,992
Reindeer hoofs of joy?
189
00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:15,286
And ourjob was that.
190
00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:16,454
Ho, ho!
191
00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:18,665
And what do you want
for Christmas?
192
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:20,208
I want a Nintendo.
193
00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:21,918
A Nintendo, huh?
194
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,254
Well, hopefully,
you're on the nice list.
195
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:25,630
What do you say, elf?
196
00:08:25,714 --> 00:08:27,298
Is Marty on the nice list?
197
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,426
As if this wasn't
humiliating enough,
198
00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:31,594
dad decided to start a war
with the cheese guy.
199
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,555
This is premium cheese,
rolled in nuts,
200
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:34,889
shaped into a ball.
201
00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:37,017
Behold the holiday cheeseball.
202
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,310
How is he drawing
a bigger crowd than me?
203
00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:42,480
Santa's the main event.
Thatjoker's the undercard.
204
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,816
Oh, we gotta get eyes
back on us.
205
00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:46,943
I'm actually fine with eyes
not being on us.
206
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,005
I don't want anyone from
school to see me like this.
207
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,048
Well, then, you should have
put yourself up for adoption
208
00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:52,866
'cause you got a daddy
that likes to be seen.
209
00:08:54,451 --> 00:08:58,705
Ho, ho, ho!
210
00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:04,836
Feast your eyes on hunky Santa.
211
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:07,589
Now, don't tell Mrs. Claus.
212
00:09:07,839 --> 00:09:10,425
Drink your milk, children.
213
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:12,802
Let's see the cheese man
do this!
214
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:16,473
Oh, you mad, cheese guy?
Yeah, you mad. Bladow!
215
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:20,351
Honestly, I still don't think
216
00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:22,729
this Christmas
is worse than radish baby.
217
00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:24,397
You haven't seen the worst part.
218
00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:27,442
Hey, elf, why the long face?
219
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:29,736
Where is your Christmas spirit?
220
00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:31,321
Be the heel. They'll love it.
221
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:32,822
Oh, no.
222
00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:36,284
You must be one of those bad
elves from the naughty list.
223
00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:37,869
Yeah.
224
00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:41,039
And if you are, you have to do
the naughty dance.
225
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:44,417
What's the naughty dance?
226
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:45,543
Just make something up.
227
00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:56,721
Ho, ho, ho. There it is.
228
00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:59,849
Okay. So,
we never learned to dance.
229
00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:01,017
Ho, ho, ho!
230
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,686
Shake that Booty! Thunderclaps!
231
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:07,857
It's raining candy.
Ho, ho, ho, ho!
232
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:10,652
Oh, my god, Karen.
233
00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:11,861
Hey, Dwayne.
234
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:12,946
Who are they?
235
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:14,656
My ex-girlfriend
and her new boyfriend.
236
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,242
She was our girlfriend
and you messed it up?
237
00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:18,660
You crazy?
238
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,454
Hey, uh, that was just, like,
239
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:22,872
a skit me and my dad were doing.
240
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,874
Oh, yeah. It was really funny.
241
00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,961
Yeah, maybe you can do
another elf dance for us.
242
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:30,088
Kevin, let's get back
to shopping.
243
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:32,757
Yeah, Kevin, you should
get back to fashion bug.
244
00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:34,092
My aunt works there,
245
00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:36,302
and they actually have
good belts for men.
246
00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:39,097
Ugh, over this. Outta here.
247
00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,810
Karen, come back.
248
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,770
Shut up and get me
a candy cane, elf.
249
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:47,480
You want a candy cane?
250
00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:49,839
Careful, they're bad
for your teeth.
251
00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:55,613
Wait, wait, wait, wait! Oh, no!
252
00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:00,869
You hit him
with a candy cane just like...
253
00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:03,329
Just like my character does
to Ibiza scrooge
254
00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:04,747
in the climactic battle
255
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:06,666
at the Mercedes-Benz superdome.
256
00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:08,543
You write what you know.
257
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,545
So that fight gets us fired.
258
00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:14,090
That and some literal nuns
complained about hunky Santa.
259
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:17,802
But even worse,
the manager docks our pay
260
00:11:17,886 --> 00:11:20,805
because he has to replace the
Santa costume and the house.
261
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:23,016
So we don't even make any money?
262
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:26,895
Nope. I told you.
It's the worst Christmas ever.
263
00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:29,647
I don't know about that.
264
00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:32,734
Who is he?
265
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,485
I don't know.
266
00:11:41,576 --> 00:11:44,120
Both: Wow. Us at 40.
267
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:46,122
Actually, we're 21.
268
00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:49,667
Welcome to 1993 Miami,
little me's.
269
00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:52,420
And to the real worst
Christmas ever.
270
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:58,384
Of course, Christmas ghosts
always come in threes.
271
00:11:58,551 --> 00:11:59,677
Were you scared?
272
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,346
Not at first.
273
00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:03,723
Young rock:
Look at howjacked I am.
274
00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:05,016
How much can we lift?
275
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:07,560
What about the treadmill?
Can we lift the treadmill?
276
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,854
I didn't bring you here
to watch me lift,
277
00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:12,357
though, yeah, sure, I could
probably lift the treadmill.
278
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,943
I brought you here because
y'all don't know a thing
279
00:12:15,026 --> 00:12:16,569
about bad christmases.
280
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:19,072
Okay, this is the worst one.
281
00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:33,670
Who are you calling?
282
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,380
Mom and dad.
283
00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:39,842
Lia: Watch, iron sheik is about to
take out the unsanctioned mistletoe.
284
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,803
I know, Lia. I was there.
285
00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:44,138
I can't believe we're not gonna
spend Christmas together.
286
00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:45,890
Yeah, I know.
I'm bummed, too, mom.
287
00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:49,060
But everyone stuck around
to train for the fiesta bowl.
288
00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:51,187
Why'd you lie to mom?
289
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:54,190
It was easier than saying,
"I don't wanna spend Christmas
290
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,401
"in a cramped apartment
listening to dad and grandma
291
00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:58,152
have one of their
boozy arguments."
292
00:12:58,236 --> 00:13:00,154
It's smart to own a gun.
293
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,674
What if you need
to protect yourself?
294
00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:03,157
Anyone can pull a trigger.
295
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:05,827
But who needs guns
when you got these?
296
00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:07,996
Fist, snap, pick your poison.
297
00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:10,331
Hey, babe. What's Dewey's
opinion on guns?
298
00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:12,125
I should get back
to practice, mom.
299
00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:14,311
Are you sure you don't want us
to come over after?
300
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:15,670
It's just a quick
four-hour drive.
301
00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:17,255
Thanks, but I'll be
with the team.
302
00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:19,507
I figured I might as well skip
the whole thing.
303
00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:21,068
I mean, what's the point
in doing it
304
00:13:21,092 --> 00:13:22,635
if you know
it's just gonna disappoint?
305
00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:23,886
Amen, brother.
306
00:13:24,012 --> 00:13:25,430
Don't try and be cool
307
00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:28,141
in front of the coolest
version of us, man.
308
00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:31,352
So we're just gonna spend
Christmas all alone?
309
00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:33,062
I wish.
310
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:34,272
Dewey?
311
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,333
What are you doing here, man?
It's Christmas Eve.
312
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:38,901
Coach 0, yeah, I figured
I'd just stick around.
313
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:40,305
Is your family
gonna come see you?
314
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:41,362
Oh, they can't.
315
00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:43,781
They're, um,
they're on a cruise.
316
00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:45,148
So what are you doing tonight?
317
00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:46,701
I don't know. Get some subway.
318
00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:47,994
Watch Wayne's world 2.
319
00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:49,912
No, you're coming to my house.
320
00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:51,497
No, coach,
you don't have to do that.
321
00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:53,291
Hey, I've seen home alone,
322
00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:55,918
and I ain't gonna let you
spend Christmas by yourself.
323
00:13:56,044 --> 00:13:58,880
Too risky. Let's go.
324
00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:04,302
Dwayne, this is my mother,
coco orgeron.
325
00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:06,137
And, mama, this is Dwayne.
326
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:08,222
He was gonna spend Christmas
by himself.
327
00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:10,433
Aww, pauve ti bete.
328
00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:17,106
I love the way she speaks.
What language is that?
329
00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:18,232
Cajun-English.
330
00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:20,818
Can't wait to try it.
Well, you're gonna have to.
331
00:14:20,902 --> 00:14:23,404
That ain't gonna be ready
for at least a couple hours.
332
00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:25,573
Gotta simmer. Simmer.
333
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,325
Hey, you like music?
334
00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:32,455
Can you believe it? Acapella.
335
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:36,626
All 33 tracks, no instruments,
just mouths.
336
00:14:36,918 --> 00:14:41,464
That's a mouth. That's
a mouth. That's a mouth.
337
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:44,258
Honestly, strong me,
I'm a little offended
338
00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:47,970
you think this even compares
to radish baby.
339
00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:49,889
Yeah, this is not that bad.
340
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:52,975
Oh, yeah? Let me fast-forward
three hours from now.
341
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,401
Now this is drums.
342
00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:03,736
I'm just kidding!
It's a mouth still!
343
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:07,532
I'm gonna go check on the gumbo.
344
00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:08,616
There you go.
345
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:13,162
Another mouth.
346
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:15,248
Hey, Mrs. 0. You need any help?
347
00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:18,876
Oh, me. Ain't you sweet, sha?
I do gotta visit the cabin.
348
00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:21,295
Y'all stir for me, sha.
Stir, stir.
349
00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:24,882
Oh, yeah, now I see why
it's the worst Christmas ever.
350
00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:27,176
You had to stir soup.
351
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,469
I didn't just stir it.
352
00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:30,721
I was starving.
353
00:15:30,805 --> 00:15:32,849
I was just trying
to speed up the process.
354
00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:34,642
Even I know that's a bad idea!
355
00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:36,519
What you doing?
356
00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:38,729
You put salt in my gumbo?
357
00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:41,649
Messing around with my salt.
358
00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:44,819
Is she okay? Is she dead?
359
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:47,613
You never touch
a woman's gumbo, son! Never!
360
00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:49,866
I'm sorry. But it needed salt.
361
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,034
It didn't. Just drive.
362
00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:55,705
Does she die?
363
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,123
No, she's fine.
364
00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:59,292
The doctors called it
a stress faint.
365
00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:02,044
But we spent the rest
of the night in the hospital.
366
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:04,755
That's why this is the worst
Christmas ever.
367
00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:07,633
Honestly, ever since
radish baby,
368
00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:10,386
Christmas has always
found a way to let us down.
369
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,221
We just have terrible
christmases
370
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:13,389
for the rest of our lives?
371
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:14,515
Looks like it.
372
00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:21,439
Is it snowing? In Miami?
373
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:23,816
But not everywhere?
374
00:17:03,898 --> 00:17:08,069
Hey, deweys!
375
00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:10,446
André?
376
00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:13,282
What was in that gumbo?
377
00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:19,080
Andre? Is that really you?
378
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:22,083
I am not andré.
I'm the pere Noel.
379
00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:23,918
He brings Christmas magic to...
380
00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:25,461
Whoever needs it most.
381
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,338
Yes, he does.
382
00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:29,048
Young rock: Why
have you come, pere Noel?
383
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:31,342
Are you here to change
our terrible christmases?
384
00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:35,346
The only thing I'm here to
change is your perspectives. Huh?
385
00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:39,475
You deweys are looking
at Christmas all wrong.
386
00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:41,269
Let me show you.
387
00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:46,607
And what do you see here,
big Dewey?
388
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:49,652
Three starving people
in a hospital eating jell-o.
389
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:50,778
Hm-hm.
390
00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:53,656
I see people making
the best of a bad situation.
391
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:56,826
Ooh, almost midnight.
392
00:17:56,951 --> 00:18:01,122
And the man who made sure
no one spent Christmas alone.
393
00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:04,000
I'm sorry I ruined
your Christmas.
394
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,376
Would've ruined it more if! Knew
395
00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:07,044
you were on your own, Dewey.
396
00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:09,380
Merry Christmas.
397
00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:11,507
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
398
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:15,845
And you, medium Dewey.
399
00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:22,268
What do you see here?
400
00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:23,853
Two people who just got fired
401
00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:25,818
and are about to go home
and not exchange gifts
402
00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:27,398
because
they couldn't afford any.
403
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:29,281
Good luck putting
a silver lining on that one.
404
00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:30,693
You are right, medium Dewey.
405
00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:33,487
This Christmas was not so great.
406
00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:36,324
But it was not all bad.
407
00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:37,825
Hey, ready to go?
408
00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:39,493
I have a surprise.
409
00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:43,623
A holiday cheeseball.
410
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,642
Someone asked me to wrap one
and then forgot to pick it up.
411
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:46,792
Come on, dig in.
412
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:49,378
You do not have much,
413
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:52,298
but you have
two parents who love you.
414
00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:54,425
And that's not nothing.
415
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:02,433
Ooh, it's my turn.
What do I get to see?
416
00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:04,101
I do not know, tiny Dewey.
417
00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:05,936
Deweys: Easy with the tiny.
418
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:10,316
This Christmas
has not happened yet.
419
00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:12,985
You are where it all begins.
420
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:15,738
You can choose to keep things
as they are
421
00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:20,242
or change the course of your
Christmas futures forever.
422
00:19:20,618 --> 00:19:22,286
Itsahuptoyounow, buddy.
423
00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:23,704
We believe in you.
424
00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:27,958
Now it's time for you
to get back to bed.
425
00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:30,670
It's almost Christmas morning.
426
00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:39,512
What day is it?
You there, what day is it?
427
00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:43,140
Couldn't say, little man.
428
00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:45,226
Merry Christmas, baby.
429
00:19:45,476 --> 00:19:47,103
Do you wanna open your present?
430
00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:50,481
Open it up, son.
431
00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:57,697
A radish baby.
432
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:00,908
I love it!
433
00:20:01,409 --> 00:20:03,536
Oh, I'm so glad.
434
00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:04,704
It was sold out everywhere.
435
00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:06,306
But luckily, your dad knew
a guy who knew a guy...
436
00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:07,970
Thank you guys so much
for looking so hard
437
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,125
for my Christmas present.
438
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,334
I'm really lucky.
439
00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:13,796
Merry Christmas.
440
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:16,716
Rocky, I know
you didn't get any last night.
441
00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:18,217
Thanks, Lia.
442
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:19,427
Aw, wow.
443
00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:21,470
Hey, get back. Get outta here.
444
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,181
Rocky, it's Christmas.
445
00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:30,414
Thanks for teaching me
the meaning of Christmas
446
00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:31,439
via time travel.
447
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,023
Is it Christmas?
448
00:20:33,107 --> 00:20:34,150
Yeah.
449
00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:36,610
Merry Christmas.
450
00:20:36,819 --> 00:20:38,988
All: Merry Christmas.
451
00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:40,614
Pere Noel taught me
452
00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:43,033
that Christmas
is what we make of it.
453
00:20:43,117 --> 00:20:44,910
And the most important thing
about our movie
454
00:20:44,994 --> 00:20:46,495
isn't whether
or not it makes sense
455
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:48,998
that big Tim
needs Santa's sleigh
456
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:52,209
to stop Ibiza scrooge
from blowing up New Orleans.
457
00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:54,086
The most important thing
about our movie
458
00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:55,838
is that families
will go see it together.
459
00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:57,590
You're right.
460
00:20:57,673 --> 00:21:00,050
It reminds me
of when I was a kid,
461
00:21:00,134 --> 00:21:02,636
and my family would go
to the movies on Christmas.
462
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:05,264
And after, we'd drive
home and criticize
463
00:21:05,389 --> 00:21:07,099
all our neighbors' decorations.
464
00:21:07,183 --> 00:21:09,059
It was really nice.
465
00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:11,645
You see, now that's what
Christmas is all about.
466
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,981
Those shared memories
that people will take with them
467
00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:15,232
for the rest of their lives.
468
00:21:15,316 --> 00:21:16,817
Because love it or hate it,
469
00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:18,944
this time of the year
is really special.
470
00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:20,529
Now, I don't know about you,
471
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,907
but I don't wanna live
in a world without Christmas.
472
00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:26,786
Let's go save Christmas!
473
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:31,791
Merry Christmas, everyone.
474
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:35,127
Hey, Rudolph.
475
00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:37,213
Light the way to bourbon street.
476
00:21:38,923 --> 00:21:40,341
And cut.
477
00:21:40,424 --> 00:21:42,927
That's great.
Fantastic work, people.
478
00:21:43,052 --> 00:21:45,471
Leslie, that was amazing.
Greatjob.
479
00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:47,973
Thanks to you.
You're a regular pere Noel.
480
00:21:48,098 --> 00:21:49,558
I prefer dwanta claus.
481
00:21:51,936 --> 00:21:53,562
Look at howjacked we are.
482
00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:55,606
So that's us at 40.
483
00:21:55,689 --> 00:21:57,817
Why would we ever wear a shirt?
484
00:21:57,942 --> 00:21:59,026
I think that's a good idea.
32227
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