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1
00:01:16,312 --> 00:01:19,384
I'll knock your block off, you big stiff!
You're a bum!
2
00:01:29,272 --> 00:01:30,751
Strike! You're out!
3
00:01:54,672 --> 00:01:55,661
Elmer, here it is.
4
00:01:56,272 --> 00:01:59,264
-I knew you'd find it.
-Boy, I could sure use a drink.
5
00:02:01,472 --> 00:02:04,066
I wonder if any big shots
are getting married today?
6
00:02:06,592 --> 00:02:09,390
Looks like the same suckers
get married every day.
7
00:02:09,552 --> 00:02:10,541
Come on.
8
00:02:10,912 --> 00:02:12,982
Hey, the guy with the cheaters.
9
00:02:18,992 --> 00:02:20,710
Now what's he hiding from?
10
00:02:25,472 --> 00:02:29,545
-Hey, isn't that Mortimer Brewster?
-Mortimer Brewster, the dramatic critic?
11
00:02:31,712 --> 00:02:34,306
No, it's not him. But what a scoop it'd be!
12
00:02:34,432 --> 00:02:38,823
The guy who wrote The Bachelor's Bible
getting hooked. It's too good to be true.
13
00:02:38,912 --> 00:02:41,267
Let's snap the mayor
in his new fire helmet and go.
14
00:02:41,352 --> 00:02:43,308
Let's stick around, see who the guy is.
15
00:02:43,392 --> 00:02:45,952
"Two by two they come and go"
16
00:02:46,392 --> 00:02:48,303
Good morning, children.
Your name, please?
17
00:02:48,392 --> 00:02:50,303
-Elaine Harper.
-Speak a little louder.
18
00:02:50,392 --> 00:02:51,586
Elaine Harper.
19
00:02:51,692 --> 00:02:53,205
Thank you. Yours?
20
00:02:55,932 --> 00:02:57,888
-Mortimer Brewster.
-How's that?
21
00:02:59,492 --> 00:03:00,891
Mortimer Brewster.
22
00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:03,725
Speak up, sonny.
There's nothing to be afraid of.
23
00:03:10,132 --> 00:03:11,770
I want to keep this undercover.
24
00:03:11,852 --> 00:03:15,049
Love her? Of course you love her.
You're marrying her, right?
25
00:03:15,132 --> 00:03:16,884
You don't understand. Come here.
26
00:03:16,972 --> 00:03:19,008
I don't want this to get out for a while.
27
00:03:19,092 --> 00:03:20,810
I'm Mortimer Brewster.
28
00:03:21,332 --> 00:03:22,447
You're who?
29
00:03:22,732 --> 00:03:23,926
Mortimer Brew--
30
00:03:27,772 --> 00:03:28,887
That's him!
31
00:03:30,132 --> 00:03:31,326
Mr. Brewster!
32
00:03:39,012 --> 00:03:40,445
Now, look--
33
00:03:41,332 --> 00:03:42,560
Goodbye, dear.
34
00:03:47,572 --> 00:03:49,449
Don't you understand?
How can I marry you?
35
00:03:49,572 --> 00:03:52,723
Me, the symbol of bachelorhood.
I've sneered at every love scene.
36
00:03:53,132 --> 00:03:55,362
I've written four million words
against marriage!
37
00:03:55,452 --> 00:03:59,491
Not only hooked, but to a minister's
daughter, and a girl from Brooklyn.
38
00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:02,848
Look at the way you look!
What is that contraption you've got there?
39
00:04:03,172 --> 00:04:06,847
A pin I borrowed from your aunts.
You know, "Something borrowed--"
40
00:04:06,932 --> 00:04:09,765
I know, "Something borrowed,
something blue." Old, new.
41
00:04:09,852 --> 00:04:12,286
Rice and old shoes.
Carry you over the threshold.
42
00:04:12,372 --> 00:04:15,364
Niagara Falls. All that silly tripe.
Is this what I've come to?
43
00:04:15,452 --> 00:04:18,171
I can't go through with it.
I won't marry you. That's that.
44
00:04:18,252 --> 00:04:21,085
-Yes, Mortimer.
-What do you mean, "Yes, Mortimer"?
45
00:04:21,372 --> 00:04:23,567
Aren't you insulted?
Aren't you going to cry?
46
00:04:23,652 --> 00:04:26,530
-No, Mortimer.
-And don't "No, Mortimer" me, either!
47
00:04:26,652 --> 00:04:28,483
Marriage is a superstition.
48
00:04:28,692 --> 00:04:30,569
It's old-fashioned. It's...
49
00:05:14,172 --> 00:05:16,640
O'Hara, don't be a jerk. You don't realize...
50
00:05:16,732 --> 00:05:19,644
I�m turning over to you
the nicest, best beat in Brooklyn.
51
00:05:19,732 --> 00:05:22,530
Now look at that old church.
And them old houses.
52
00:05:23,252 --> 00:05:25,208
Did George Washington ever sleep here?
53
00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:28,921
Of course he did. This whole neighborhood
just stinks with atmosphere.
54
00:05:29,452 --> 00:05:32,444
-And look at that old house.
-The original owners still there?
55
00:05:32,532 --> 00:05:34,841
Don't crack wise
about the Brewster sisters.
56
00:05:34,932 --> 00:05:38,971
They're two of the dearest, sweetest
old ladies that ever walked the earth.
57
00:05:39,052 --> 00:05:40,804
They're out of this world.
58
00:05:41,532 --> 00:05:44,763
They're like pressed rose leaves.
59
00:05:45,052 --> 00:05:46,326
Pressed rose leaves?
60
00:05:47,812 --> 00:05:49,723
The old girls must be kind of hard up.
61
00:05:50,532 --> 00:05:52,648
Their old man left them fixed for life.
62
00:05:52,732 --> 00:05:54,802
Don't you call them "the girls," either.
63
00:05:54,892 --> 00:05:56,484
Brophy. Is Lieutenant around?
64
00:05:56,572 --> 00:05:58,369
So what are they renting rooms for?
65
00:05:58,452 --> 00:06:01,569
They don't. But you can bet
if anybody came looking for a room...
66
00:06:01,652 --> 00:06:04,849
they wouldn't go away
without a good meal and a couple of bucks.
67
00:06:06,092 --> 00:06:08,560
That's their way of digging up people
to do good to.
68
00:06:16,132 --> 00:06:19,329
Reverend Harper, I do hope
you don't disapprove of Mortimer...
69
00:06:19,412 --> 00:06:23,644
because he's a dramatic critic
and takes your daughter to the theater.
70
00:06:23,932 --> 00:06:26,492
It's not that I disapprove
of his being a critic...
71
00:06:26,572 --> 00:06:29,928
but no man with this published attitude...
72
00:06:31,852 --> 00:06:34,924
should take any man's daughter
anyplace, at any time.
73
00:06:37,532 --> 00:06:39,170
I must be catching cold.
74
00:06:39,412 --> 00:06:42,210
No, dear. It was Reverend Harper
who sneezed. Bless you.
75
00:06:43,772 --> 00:06:45,842
We mustn't be angry with Mortimer.
76
00:06:45,932 --> 00:06:49,925
He's so very much in love with her.
Sister Martha and I are so happy.
77
00:06:50,212 --> 00:06:53,249
He used to come to see us
only occasionally, and now...
78
00:06:53,412 --> 00:06:55,642
he's in Brooklyn six nights a week.
79
00:06:57,052 --> 00:06:59,168
Remember now, watch your language.
80
00:06:59,412 --> 00:07:01,209
You know I'm not a swearing man.
81
00:07:01,292 --> 00:07:04,045
You'd be surprised
what they'd consider swearing.
82
00:07:06,332 --> 00:07:10,041
Will you excuse me?
No, no, Teddy, dear. Thank you. I'll go.
83
00:07:12,692 --> 00:07:16,367
-Come right in, Mr. Brophy.
-Miss Abby, we came for the toys.
84
00:07:16,492 --> 00:07:19,086
This is Officer O'Hara.
He's taking over my beat.
85
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:22,130
-How do you do, miss?
-Welcome to our neighborhood.
86
00:07:22,212 --> 00:07:24,362
Gentlemen, what news
have you brought me?
87
00:07:24,652 --> 00:07:26,768
Colonel, we have nothing to report.
88
00:07:29,252 --> 00:07:31,482
No, absolutely nothing to report.
89
00:07:32,292 --> 00:07:33,566
Splendid!
90
00:07:33,772 --> 00:07:35,888
Thank you, gentlemen. At ease.
91
00:07:37,212 --> 00:07:40,284
You know the Reverend Dr. Harper
from the church next door?
92
00:07:40,372 --> 00:07:43,682
Hello. This is Officer O'Hara,
the new man on the beat.
93
00:07:43,772 --> 00:07:46,286
How do you do, sir? It's nice to meet you.
94
00:07:49,412 --> 00:07:53,200
The toys are on the chair up here,
by the library door.
95
00:07:56,412 --> 00:08:01,008
Teddy, run upstairs and bring down your
Army and Navy from Aunt Martha's room.
96
00:08:01,092 --> 00:08:02,491
They're all packed.
97
00:08:04,132 --> 00:08:08,648
That's splendid work you men do, fixing up
discarded toys for the kids at camp.
98
00:08:08,852 --> 00:08:09,807
Charge!
99
00:08:18,772 --> 00:08:22,447
It gives us something to do at the station.
You get tired of playing cards.
100
00:08:29,492 --> 00:08:32,325
-So these are the toys?
-How's Mrs. Brophy?
101
00:08:32,412 --> 00:08:35,131
She's better, thank you.
But a little weak, still.
102
00:08:35,212 --> 00:08:37,851
I'll get some beef broth
for you to take to her.
103
00:08:37,932 --> 00:08:40,651
Please don't bother.
You've done so much already.
104
00:08:40,772 --> 00:08:43,161
Stop the nonsense! I won't be a minute.
105
00:08:48,212 --> 00:08:52,763
Gentlemen, if I know what pure kindness
and absolute generosity are...
106
00:08:53,012 --> 00:08:55,731
it's because I've known
the Brewster sisters.
107
00:09:00,612 --> 00:09:03,046
Teddy, you promised me
you wouldn't do that anymore.
108
00:09:03,132 --> 00:09:06,124
But I have to call a Cabinet meeting
to get those supplies.
109
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,646
Now don't do that again. Do you hear me?
110
00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:14,285
He used to do that at night...
111
00:09:14,372 --> 00:09:17,011
and the neighbors raised Cain.
They're afraid of him.
112
00:09:17,092 --> 00:09:20,482
Look, Sarge, I promised I wouldn't swear,
but what the heck--
113
00:09:21,132 --> 00:09:22,406
What's going on here?
114
00:09:22,492 --> 00:09:25,086
-He's quite harmless.
-He thinks he's Teddy Roosevelt.
115
00:09:25,172 --> 00:09:27,970
There's a lot of worse guys
he could think he was.
116
00:09:30,292 --> 00:09:31,486
That's right.
117
00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:33,967
I'll make a note.
He's an interesting character.
118
00:09:34,052 --> 00:09:35,770
Isn't it a shame, Father...
119
00:09:36,252 --> 00:09:40,291
Isn't it a shame, Reverend, that this nice
family should be hatching a cuckoo?
120
00:09:41,652 --> 00:09:44,086
Well, now, isn't this nice!
121
00:09:44,172 --> 00:09:46,686
-Good afternoon, Miss Brewster.
-How do you do?
122
00:09:46,772 --> 00:09:49,445
-Good afternoon.
-Reverend, how do you do?
123
00:09:49,572 --> 00:09:52,211
Miss Martha, Officer O'Hara.
He's taking over my duties.
124
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:53,407
How do you do?
125
00:09:53,492 --> 00:09:55,722
-I'm very glad to know you.
-Thank you.
126
00:09:56,892 --> 00:09:58,325
Martha, you're back.
127
00:09:58,412 --> 00:10:01,449
Here's the broth for Mrs. Brophy.
Be sure it's good and hot.
128
00:10:01,532 --> 00:10:03,841
You bet I will, and thank you very much.
129
00:10:03,932 --> 00:10:06,241
The Army and Navy are ready for action.
130
00:10:06,452 --> 00:10:09,285
Colonel, this is grand.
It'll make a lot of kids happy.
131
00:10:09,372 --> 00:10:11,283
What's this? The Oregon?
132
00:10:11,532 --> 00:10:13,363
Teddy, dear, put it back.
133
00:10:13,612 --> 00:10:16,172
-But the Oregon goes to Australia.
-Now, Teddy...
134
00:10:16,252 --> 00:10:18,004
No, it goes to Australia.
135
00:10:18,172 --> 00:10:21,164
-These are lovely. Thank you.
-Not at all.
136
00:10:23,652 --> 00:10:26,450
-The children will go crazy.
-Don't mention it.
137
00:10:26,692 --> 00:10:28,045
So long, Colonel.
138
00:10:29,252 --> 00:10:30,446
Hey, Sarge.
139
00:10:30,892 --> 00:10:32,086
Yes.
140
00:10:33,852 --> 00:10:34,921
Dismissed!
141
00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:38,520
-Goodbye and thank you.
-Don't mention it.
142
00:10:38,692 --> 00:10:41,411
-Careful of the step with the toys.
-Good night.
143
00:10:45,572 --> 00:10:47,881
Young man, let that be a lesson to you.
144
00:10:51,972 --> 00:10:53,451
Goodbye.
145
00:10:57,092 --> 00:10:59,083
-Well, I must be going.
-Charge!
146
00:11:00,892 --> 00:11:02,610
Charge the blockhouse!
147
00:11:09,212 --> 00:11:10,361
Blockhouse?
148
00:11:11,332 --> 00:11:13,607
The stairs are always San Juan Hill.
149
00:11:14,652 --> 00:11:15,721
Bless you!
150
00:11:15,932 --> 00:11:18,241
Have you tried to persuade him
he wasn't Roosevelt?
151
00:11:18,332 --> 00:11:21,529
-Oh, no!
-He's so happy being Teddy Roosevelt.
152
00:11:21,972 --> 00:11:24,008
Do you remember, Martha?
153
00:11:24,212 --> 00:11:27,602
Once, a long time ago,
we thought if he'd be George Washington...
154
00:11:27,692 --> 00:11:30,411
it might be a change for him,
and we suggested it.
155
00:11:30,692 --> 00:11:32,523
And do you know what happened?
156
00:11:32,612 --> 00:11:36,002
He just stayed under his bed for days
and wouldn't be anybody.
157
00:11:36,892 --> 00:11:40,362
Well, if he's happy, and what's
more important, you're happy...
158
00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:43,052
Our only worry for Teddy
is after we're gone.
159
00:11:43,252 --> 00:11:45,482
Yes, indeed. That is quite a problem.
160
00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:48,040
Mortimer's made all the arrangements
for Teddy...
161
00:11:48,132 --> 00:11:51,169
to go to Happy Dale Sanitarium
after we pass on.
162
00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:53,641
Splendid idea! A very pleasant place.
163
00:11:58,172 --> 00:12:00,003
Dear, sweet Reverend Harper.
164
00:12:02,572 --> 00:12:05,962
You know, Martha,
I do believe he's beginning to see the light.
165
00:12:06,052 --> 00:12:07,883
I'm sure we needn't worry about him.
166
00:12:07,972 --> 00:12:11,169
He won't interfere with our plans
for Mortimer and Elaine.
167
00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:13,884
Did you just have tea?
168
00:12:14,052 --> 00:12:14,928
Yes.
169
00:12:15,772 --> 00:12:18,411
And dinner's going to be late, too.
170
00:12:19,052 --> 00:12:20,770
So, why?
171
00:12:24,732 --> 00:12:26,484
Good news for you.
172
00:12:26,572 --> 00:12:30,121
You're going to Panama
and dig another lock for the canal.
173
00:12:30,572 --> 00:12:32,324
Delighted!
174
00:12:32,572 --> 00:12:34,483
That's bully! Just bully!
175
00:12:34,732 --> 00:12:37,121
I shall prepare at once for the journey.
176
00:12:39,252 --> 00:12:40,207
Charge!
177
00:12:46,252 --> 00:12:48,288
Abby! While I was out?
178
00:12:48,372 --> 00:12:50,806
Yes, dear. I just couldn't wait for you.
179
00:12:50,972 --> 00:12:54,123
I didn't know when you'd be back,
and Reverend Harper was coming.
180
00:12:54,212 --> 00:12:57,249
-But all by yourself.
-I got along fine.
181
00:12:57,412 --> 00:12:59,972
-I'll run right downstairs and see.
-No, dear.
182
00:13:00,132 --> 00:13:03,169
There wasn't time. And I was all alone.
183
00:13:06,252 --> 00:13:07,162
Well?
184
00:13:09,892 --> 00:13:12,406
Just look in the window seat.
185
00:13:24,332 --> 00:13:26,448
-It's Elaine!
-Hello, darlings.
186
00:13:29,252 --> 00:13:31,243
-But, Elaine!
-What did she mean?
187
00:13:31,452 --> 00:13:33,602
You don't suppose they've gone and--
188
00:13:38,292 --> 00:13:39,247
Listen, buddy.
189
00:13:39,332 --> 00:13:42,802
-This old cab has seen osculation but...
-You ain't seen anything yet.
190
00:13:42,892 --> 00:13:45,486
-You've got to drive us to the station.
-Take her hat.
191
00:13:45,932 --> 00:13:48,162
Wait a minute. And her brooch.
192
00:13:48,292 --> 00:13:51,045
If you find her hairpins, keep them.
Hold on to that.
193
00:13:55,092 --> 00:13:56,320
There they are.
194
00:13:56,892 --> 00:13:58,166
Here's your hat.
195
00:13:59,012 --> 00:14:01,480
Just throw it.
I don't like that look in your eyes.
196
00:14:01,572 --> 00:14:05,406
-What's the matter with it?
-Father preached about it only last Sunday.
197
00:14:05,852 --> 00:14:07,524
He did? What did he say?
198
00:14:07,652 --> 00:14:10,291
-He was against it.
-But that was only Sunday.
199
00:14:13,932 --> 00:14:15,763
Please! For heaven's sake!
200
00:14:15,932 --> 00:14:18,526
But, Mortimer, right out here
with everyone looking?
201
00:14:18,612 --> 00:14:21,080
Yes, right out here with everyone looking.
202
00:14:21,172 --> 00:14:23,447
Let everyone in Brooklyn over 16 look.
203
00:14:33,012 --> 00:14:36,084
But, Mortimer, you're going to love me
for my mind, too?
204
00:14:36,212 --> 00:14:37,770
One thing at a time.
205
00:14:37,852 --> 00:14:39,490
There's that look again!
206
00:14:41,532 --> 00:14:44,649
"There's that look again, Mortimer! "
You better get used to it.
207
00:14:44,732 --> 00:14:47,451
You'll see it often. It goes just before this.
208
00:14:49,252 --> 00:14:51,368
You know what we're doing?
Wasting time.
209
00:14:51,452 --> 00:14:53,488
I'll go tell my aunts and you tell your...
210
00:14:53,572 --> 00:14:56,928
No, don't tell your father.
You'll run his cold into a pneumonia.
211
00:14:57,052 --> 00:14:59,088
I can handle Father. He's a dear.
212
00:14:59,172 --> 00:15:01,970
Look, why don't we wire him
from Niagara Falls?
213
00:15:02,372 --> 00:15:03,771
Niagara Falls?
214
00:15:04,372 --> 00:15:06,328
That's why you stopped at your office.
215
00:15:06,412 --> 00:15:08,801
Yes, certainly!
We're going to go the whole hog.
216
00:15:08,892 --> 00:15:11,326
Niagara Falls!
Everybody ought to go there.
217
00:15:11,532 --> 00:15:13,921
You should've seen my secretary's face.
218
00:15:14,012 --> 00:15:16,890
We've a room on the train,
the bridal suite in the hotel...
219
00:15:16,972 --> 00:15:19,725
and tomorrow morning
we go over the falls in a barrel.
220
00:15:20,892 --> 00:15:22,610
Go on, darling, hurry and pack.
221
00:15:22,692 --> 00:15:25,445
I don't have to.
I started packing the day after I met you.
222
00:15:25,532 --> 00:15:27,329
There, you see! You see?
223
00:15:27,452 --> 00:15:30,330
That's what I mean.
That's what I hate about women.
224
00:15:33,732 --> 00:15:35,768
I wonder what Mary's doing now?
225
00:15:40,372 --> 00:15:43,364
-The train leaves in an hour, hurry.
-It'll be a few minutes.
226
00:15:43,452 --> 00:15:46,410
-Father may want to pray over me.
-Whistle when you're ready.
227
00:15:47,332 --> 00:15:49,243
When you whistle, open the front door fast.
228
00:15:49,332 --> 00:15:52,688
If you see a tall, dark streak of light,
it's me.
229
00:15:58,372 --> 00:15:59,327
What? Now?
230
00:15:59,412 --> 00:16:00,561
No, not now!
231
00:16:01,732 --> 00:16:03,723
Look surprised when he tells us.
232
00:16:06,372 --> 00:16:07,691
Hold on to your bustles.
233
00:16:07,772 --> 00:16:10,161
We're married. Elaine and I are married.
234
00:16:10,252 --> 00:16:11,924
Oh, darling, how wonderful!
235
00:16:12,012 --> 00:16:14,082
Isn't it wonderful? They're married!
236
00:16:14,172 --> 00:16:17,642
Don't pretend to be so surprised either,
you two old frauds.
237
00:16:18,372 --> 00:16:20,408
-Can I use the telephone?
-Of course.
238
00:16:20,492 --> 00:16:23,006
Isn't it too, too wonderful?
239
00:16:23,092 --> 00:16:26,084
And to think that it happened
right here in this room!
240
00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:27,480
Now, here.
241
00:16:28,612 --> 00:16:30,842
Benson's Florists?
This is Mortimer Brewster.
242
00:16:30,932 --> 00:16:33,605
Did you send those roses
to Mrs. Brewster? Good.
243
00:16:33,692 --> 00:16:37,002
Send four dozen more to drawing room A,
Grand Central Station.
244
00:16:37,092 --> 00:16:39,890
Hurry. And throw in a flock
of orange blossoms.
245
00:16:40,012 --> 00:16:42,446
But before you go,
we can have our celebration.
246
00:16:42,532 --> 00:16:44,682
I'll open a bottle of wine and we'll sing.
247
00:16:44,772 --> 00:16:46,524
And we'll invite a few neighbors in.
248
00:16:46,612 --> 00:16:50,161
-And, of course, a wedding cake.
-You won't have time to bake a cake.
249
00:16:50,292 --> 00:16:52,487
We're going to Niagara Falls.
A taxi's waiting.
250
00:16:52,572 --> 00:16:54,881
It's all ready. It's been ready since--
251
00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:57,440
I bet it's been ready
since the first day I met her.
252
00:16:57,532 --> 00:17:00,092
Did everybody know
I was getting married, except me?
253
00:17:00,172 --> 00:17:02,686
We knew you'd find out about it in time.
254
00:17:04,452 --> 00:17:06,682
I've got the two nicest aunts in the world.
255
00:17:06,772 --> 00:17:09,445
Of course, you've got
the nicest nephew in the world, too.
256
00:17:09,892 --> 00:17:12,452
Well, I'll run along
and get everything ready.
257
00:17:13,172 --> 00:17:15,970
Oh, dear. I do hope the Reverend
isn't too angry.
258
00:17:16,052 --> 00:17:17,770
You know how your books upset him.
259
00:17:17,852 --> 00:17:21,640
I'm going to burn all my books.
I'll let the Reverend light the first match.
260
00:17:22,092 --> 00:17:24,242
Did I leave some notes here
for my new book?
261
00:17:24,332 --> 00:17:26,288
You mean Mind Over Matrimony?
262
00:17:26,932 --> 00:17:27,921
Where are they?
263
00:17:28,012 --> 00:17:30,367
-I hid them someplace--
-Come along.
264
00:17:30,452 --> 00:17:31,407
Now you behave.
265
00:17:31,492 --> 00:17:33,881
Let's find them before Elaine sees them.
266
00:17:38,372 --> 00:17:40,328
Hello, Mortimer!
267
00:17:41,452 --> 00:17:44,762
-How are you, Mr. President?
-Bully, thank you. Just bully.
268
00:17:44,892 --> 00:17:48,282
-What news have you brought me?
-The country's squarely behind you.
269
00:17:48,372 --> 00:17:50,408
Yes, I know. Isn't it wonderful?
270
00:17:50,692 --> 00:17:53,490
Well, goodbye. I'm off to Panama.
271
00:17:53,932 --> 00:17:55,570
Goodbye, Mr. President.
272
00:17:55,692 --> 00:17:57,808
A new lock for the canal, you know.
273
00:17:58,212 --> 00:18:00,362
"Oh, tell the news to Mother"
274
00:18:01,892 --> 00:18:04,452
-Oh, dear.
-Find those notes? What's wrong?
275
00:18:04,572 --> 00:18:07,291
There's a baby picture
of your brother Jonathan.
276
00:18:08,852 --> 00:18:12,083
You ought to put that in the fire
with my books. My, what a face!
277
00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:14,687
I remember now.
He'd scare grownups with it.
278
00:18:14,772 --> 00:18:17,047
Just the thought of Jonathan frightens me.
279
00:18:17,132 --> 00:18:20,602
Do you remember how he used to cut
worms in two with his teeth?
280
00:18:21,972 --> 00:18:25,487
Jonathan? He's probably in prison
or hanged or something by now.
281
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:29,003
I saw a play, had a character in it,
reminded me of Jonathan.
282
00:18:29,092 --> 00:18:30,047
Really?
283
00:18:30,652 --> 00:18:34,531
A honey of a lunatic. One of those
whodunits called Murder Will Out.
284
00:18:34,772 --> 00:18:35,648
Oh, dear!
285
00:18:35,732 --> 00:18:37,165
Yeah, what a play.
286
00:18:38,772 --> 00:18:42,321
When the curtain goes up,
the first thing you see is a dead body.
287
00:18:42,692 --> 00:18:44,011
The next thing--
288
00:18:55,292 --> 00:18:56,441
Hey, mister.
289
00:19:26,732 --> 00:19:30,441
-Happy bridegroom!
-Congratulations, darling!
290
00:19:32,252 --> 00:19:34,208
Never mind that now.
291
00:19:34,492 --> 00:19:36,050
Now, listen, darlings.
292
00:19:38,332 --> 00:19:41,722
You know how we've always planned
to send Teddy to Happy Dale?
293
00:19:41,812 --> 00:19:44,201
Yes, dear. That's after we're gone.
294
00:19:44,372 --> 00:19:47,125
Yes, we talked with Reverend Harper
about it.
295
00:19:48,692 --> 00:19:50,967
Teddy's got to go to Happy Dale now.
At once!
296
00:19:51,052 --> 00:19:54,931
-He's in the cellar. Get him up here now.
-There's no such hurry as that.
297
00:19:55,212 --> 00:19:58,966
When Teddy's working on the canal,
you can't get his mind on anything else.
298
00:19:59,692 --> 00:20:01,205
Well, look, darlings.
299
00:20:01,372 --> 00:20:04,364
I'm frightfully sorry,
but I've got an awful shock for you.
300
00:20:04,852 --> 00:20:06,808
Teddy's killed a man, darlings!
301
00:20:07,732 --> 00:20:08,801
Nonsense!
302
00:20:08,932 --> 00:20:10,843
There's a body in the window seat!
303
00:20:10,932 --> 00:20:13,162
Yes, dear. We know.
304
00:20:16,292 --> 00:20:18,362
-You know?
-Of course.
305
00:20:18,572 --> 00:20:21,006
Yes, but it has nothing to do with Teddy.
306
00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:24,685
Now, Mortimer. You just forget about it.
307
00:20:24,852 --> 00:20:26,922
Forget you ever saw the gentleman.
308
00:20:27,612 --> 00:20:28,522
Forget?
309
00:20:28,612 --> 00:20:30,887
We never dreamed you'd peek.
310
00:20:31,612 --> 00:20:32,806
What the...
311
00:20:33,892 --> 00:20:34,961
Who is he?
312
00:20:35,172 --> 00:20:38,084
He's a Mr. Hoskins. Adam Hoskins.
313
00:20:38,812 --> 00:20:42,282
That's really all I know about him,
except that he's a Methodist.
314
00:20:42,452 --> 00:20:44,647
He's a Methodist? Isn't that nice.
315
00:20:44,812 --> 00:20:47,007
That's all you know?
What's he doing here?
316
00:20:47,092 --> 00:20:49,083
-What happened to him?
-He died.
317
00:20:49,572 --> 00:20:52,689
Aunt Martha, men just don't get
into window seats and die.
318
00:20:52,892 --> 00:20:55,565
No, dear. He died first.
319
00:20:55,932 --> 00:20:57,490
Wait! Stop all this.
320
00:20:58,812 --> 00:21:00,530
Now look, how did he die?
321
00:21:00,652 --> 00:21:03,212
Mortimer, don't be so inquisitive.
322
00:21:03,772 --> 00:21:08,402
The gentleman died because he drank
some wine with poison in it.
323
00:21:10,452 --> 00:21:12,568
How did the poison get in the wine?
324
00:21:12,652 --> 00:21:15,086
We put it in wine
because it's less noticeable.
325
00:21:15,172 --> 00:21:17,606
When it's in tea, it has a distinct odor.
326
00:21:18,772 --> 00:21:19,966
You mean you...
327
00:21:21,012 --> 00:21:22,411
You put it in the wine?
328
00:21:22,492 --> 00:21:25,848
Yes. And I put Mr. Hoskins
in the window seat...
329
00:21:25,932 --> 00:21:28,207
because Reverend Harper was coming.
330
00:21:31,172 --> 00:21:32,730
Look at me, darling.
331
00:21:34,652 --> 00:21:38,247
You knew what you'd done and didn't want
Reverend Harper to see the body?
332
00:21:38,332 --> 00:21:41,404
Well, not at tea.
That wouldn't have been very nice.
333
00:21:44,092 --> 00:21:45,491
It's first-degree.
334
00:21:45,572 --> 00:21:49,121
Now, Mortimer, you know all about it
and just forget about it.
335
00:21:49,492 --> 00:21:53,371
I do think that Martha and I have the right
to our own little secrets.
336
00:21:56,932 --> 00:22:00,447
Abby, while I was out I dropped in
on Mrs. Schultz. She's much better.
337
00:22:00,532 --> 00:22:02,887
But she wants us to take Junior
to the movies again.
338
00:22:02,972 --> 00:22:05,088
We must do that, tomorrow or next day.
339
00:22:05,172 --> 00:22:08,130
Yes, but this time we'll go
where we want to go.
340
00:22:08,372 --> 00:22:12,411
Junior's not going to drag me
into another one of those scary pictures.
341
00:22:12,972 --> 00:22:16,931
They ought not to be allowed
to make pictures just to frighten people.
342
00:22:36,092 --> 00:22:37,207
Operator?
343
00:22:37,612 --> 00:22:39,443
Can you hear my voice?
344
00:22:40,332 --> 00:22:41,401
You can?
345
00:22:41,852 --> 00:22:43,046
Are you sure?
346
00:22:44,172 --> 00:22:45,446
Then I must be here.
347
00:23:12,332 --> 00:23:15,290
The dears. Isn't Halloween
a wonderful time for them?
348
00:23:15,372 --> 00:23:17,966
Yes, it is. They have so much fun.
349
00:23:19,452 --> 00:23:21,727
Now, Mortimer, don't be so impatient.
350
00:23:21,852 --> 00:23:24,207
-We'll let you lick the bowl.
-Lick the bowl?
351
00:23:24,292 --> 00:23:26,760
I don't want to.
I want to know what we're going to do!
352
00:23:26,852 --> 00:23:28,490
We're going to celebrate.
353
00:23:28,612 --> 00:23:31,331
Celebrate? There's a body
in the window seat!
354
00:23:31,412 --> 00:23:33,209
Yes, dear. Mr. Hoskins.
355
00:23:33,532 --> 00:23:36,569
I know what his name is. I want to know
what we're going to do.
356
00:23:36,652 --> 00:23:39,644
-We can't turn you over to the police.
-Stop worrying about it.
357
00:23:39,932 --> 00:23:41,843
We told you to forget the whole thing.
358
00:23:41,932 --> 00:23:46,164
Forget? Can't I make you realize
that something has to be done?
359
00:23:46,252 --> 00:23:48,083
Now, Mortimer, you behave.
360
00:23:48,292 --> 00:23:51,204
You're too old
to be flying off the handle like this.
361
00:23:51,972 --> 00:23:54,247
-But Mr. Hodgekiss--
-Hoskins, dear.
362
00:23:54,332 --> 00:23:56,800
Whatever his name is,
you can't leave him in there.
363
00:23:56,892 --> 00:23:58,405
We don't intend to, dear.
364
00:23:58,492 --> 00:24:01,529
Teddy's down in the cellar now,
digging the lock.
365
00:24:07,212 --> 00:24:09,567
You're going to bury
Mr. Hodgekiss in the cellar?
366
00:24:09,652 --> 00:24:12,246
Yes, dear.
That's what we did with the others.
367
00:24:13,212 --> 00:24:15,442
Look, here, Aunt Martha. You can't...
368
00:24:16,212 --> 00:24:18,885
-Others?
-The other gentlemen.
369
00:24:20,532 --> 00:24:23,046
When you say "others,"
do you mean "others"?
370
00:24:23,532 --> 00:24:25,966
-More than one "others"?
-Yes, dear.
371
00:24:26,172 --> 00:24:29,084
Let me see now. This is 11, isn't it, Abby?
372
00:24:29,292 --> 00:24:31,362
No, dear. This makes 12.
373
00:24:31,612 --> 00:24:35,321
Abby, dear, I think you're wrong.
This one is only 11 .
374
00:24:35,612 --> 00:24:39,002
No, dear, because I remember
when Mr. Hoskins first came in...
375
00:24:39,092 --> 00:24:42,129
it occurred to me
that he'd make just an even dozen.
376
00:24:43,812 --> 00:24:47,851
But, Abby, dear, I really don't think
you should count the first one.
377
00:24:48,052 --> 00:24:51,089
I was counting the first one,
and that makes it 12.
378
00:24:51,492 --> 00:24:52,481
It does?
379
00:24:54,012 --> 00:24:57,084
Well, she's probably right. Abby usually is.
380
00:24:57,172 --> 00:24:59,163
I get them mixed up sometimes.
381
00:24:59,572 --> 00:25:00,721
Makes it 12.
382
00:25:07,732 --> 00:25:08,721
Hello.
383
00:25:11,932 --> 00:25:14,651
Whatever is the matter
with Mortimer today?
384
00:25:14,732 --> 00:25:16,609
Why, Abby,
what do you think happened to him?
385
00:25:17,732 --> 00:25:18,448
Hello?
386
00:25:24,612 --> 00:25:27,445
Not now. For heaven's sake,
keep your shirt on!
387
00:25:29,692 --> 00:25:31,330
Elaine, I didn't mean--
388
00:25:34,932 --> 00:25:36,763
Now, let's see. Where were we?
389
00:25:36,852 --> 00:25:38,171
Twelve. Twelve!
390
00:25:38,612 --> 00:25:39,601
Yes, dear.
391
00:25:39,692 --> 00:25:42,331
Abby thinks we should count the first one.
392
00:25:42,492 --> 00:25:44,687
Never mind about that. Just sit down.
393
00:25:44,772 --> 00:25:46,728
Tell me, who was the first one?
394
00:25:46,892 --> 00:25:49,486
Mr. Midgely. He was a Baptist.
395
00:25:49,572 --> 00:25:51,802
He was such a lonely, old gentleman.
396
00:25:52,372 --> 00:25:54,442
All his kith and kin were dead.
397
00:25:54,532 --> 00:25:56,488
We felt so sorry for him.
398
00:25:56,732 --> 00:25:59,644
And then, when his heart attack came...
399
00:25:59,732 --> 00:26:03,008
and he sat there dead in that chair...
400
00:26:03,412 --> 00:26:06,882
looking so peaceful. Remember, Martha?
401
00:26:07,812 --> 00:26:10,201
We made up our minds, then and there...
402
00:26:10,372 --> 00:26:13,250
that if we could help
other lonely, old men...
403
00:26:13,452 --> 00:26:15,522
to find that same peace...
404
00:26:15,772 --> 00:26:16,921
we would.
405
00:26:18,012 --> 00:26:19,240
Why, you poor...
406
00:26:19,452 --> 00:26:22,091
You mean, he dropped dead
right in this chair?
407
00:26:25,012 --> 00:26:28,243
And then, you see,
Teddy came up from digging in Panama...
408
00:26:28,372 --> 00:26:31,569
and he thought Mr. Midgely
was a yellow-fever victim.
409
00:26:31,812 --> 00:26:34,770
And that meant
he had to be buried immediately.
410
00:26:35,172 --> 00:26:38,084
So, we all took him down to Panama...
411
00:26:38,212 --> 00:26:42,091
and put him in the lock
and gave him a decent Christian burial.
412
00:26:42,412 --> 00:26:46,724
There, now you see? That's why
we told you not to bother about it...
413
00:26:46,812 --> 00:26:49,565
because we know exactly
what's to be done.
414
00:26:52,612 --> 00:26:53,806
Wait a minute!
415
00:26:54,052 --> 00:26:56,486
Come here, darling.
What about the others?
416
00:26:56,932 --> 00:26:59,321
All 12 of them didn't walk in here
and drop dead.
417
00:26:59,692 --> 00:27:01,330
No, dear. Of course not!
418
00:27:01,412 --> 00:27:02,561
Well, so...
419
00:27:10,172 --> 00:27:11,491
-Mortimer.
-What?
420
00:27:11,732 --> 00:27:14,530
Do you remember those jars of poison
on the shelves...
421
00:27:14,612 --> 00:27:16,887
in Grandfather's laboratory
all these years?
422
00:27:16,972 --> 00:27:19,770
You know your Aunt Martha's knack
for mixing things.
423
00:27:19,852 --> 00:27:22,161
You've eaten enough of her piccalilli.
424
00:27:22,572 --> 00:27:25,769
Well, dear, for a gallon of elderberry wine...
425
00:27:25,852 --> 00:27:28,446
l take one teaspoonful of arsenic...
426
00:27:28,532 --> 00:27:30,841
then add half a teaspoonful of strychnine.
427
00:27:30,932 --> 00:27:34,561
And then, just a pinch of cyanide.
428
00:27:36,572 --> 00:27:38,244
Should have quite a kick.
429
00:27:40,132 --> 00:27:43,329
As a matter of fact,
one of our gentlemen found time to say:
430
00:27:43,412 --> 00:27:44,606
"How delicious! "
431
00:27:44,692 --> 00:27:47,001
He did? Well, wasn't that nice of him?
432
00:27:47,132 --> 00:27:50,090
Abby, we mustn't be standing here
gossiping all night.
433
00:27:50,172 --> 00:27:51,685
We must get that cake frosted.
434
00:27:51,772 --> 00:27:54,650
Don't worry about the cake.
I couldn't eat a thing.
435
00:27:54,932 --> 00:27:58,720
You newlyweds! A sip of wine
will give you an appetite.
436
00:27:58,812 --> 00:28:01,645
That'd be nice, darling, a sip of...
A sip of wine!
437
00:28:02,012 --> 00:28:03,001
Wine!
438
00:28:22,612 --> 00:28:25,172
I'm beginning to think the cat's in on this.
439
00:28:26,772 --> 00:28:30,811
He's wonderful. Happy as a lark.
Singing away, digging locks.
440
00:28:30,892 --> 00:28:33,326
Got him working on a yellow-fever victim.
441
00:28:33,892 --> 00:28:35,564
I can see the headlines now:
442
00:28:35,652 --> 00:28:38,962
"Murder Incorporator Rides Again"
right across the front page.
443
00:28:39,692 --> 00:28:40,920
Let me see...
444
00:28:41,572 --> 00:28:44,291
Teddy! Of course.
Everybody knows he's crazy.
445
00:28:44,852 --> 00:28:48,083
Let me see. Who can I call up?
Dewey, La Guardia, Winchell?
446
00:28:48,172 --> 00:28:49,810
No, Winchell's no good.
447
00:28:50,572 --> 00:28:51,846
Old Judge Cullman!
448
00:28:51,932 --> 00:28:53,809
I wonder if I got his number.
449
00:28:54,692 --> 00:28:56,569
What am I doing with tickets?
450
00:28:56,772 --> 00:28:57,921
Information.
451
00:29:03,572 --> 00:29:04,607
Information?
452
00:29:04,692 --> 00:29:08,162
Get me the number of Judge Cullman
on North Shore Road, Brooklyn.
453
00:29:08,252 --> 00:29:09,526
Yeah, would you call me back?
454
00:29:13,132 --> 00:29:15,202
Wouldn't it be marvellous
if he wasn't there?
455
00:29:16,732 --> 00:29:18,006
Hey, you!
456
00:29:19,492 --> 00:29:21,926
Thought you were tall, dark streak of light.
457
00:29:22,212 --> 00:29:23,725
What are you doing here?
458
00:29:23,852 --> 00:29:26,525
What am I doing here?
Didn't you hear me whistle?
459
00:29:26,612 --> 00:29:28,011
Whistle? Oh, yes.
460
00:29:28,332 --> 00:29:29,811
I heard you whistle.
461
00:29:30,492 --> 00:29:32,084
-How do I look?
-You look fine.
462
00:29:32,172 --> 00:29:34,561
-Run on home. I'll call you up tomorrow.
-Tomorrow?
463
00:29:34,652 --> 00:29:37,450
You know I always call you up
every day or two.
464
00:29:37,532 --> 00:29:40,968
You and your gags! Where's your hat?
The bags are in the taxi.
465
00:29:41,092 --> 00:29:43,652
-Come on!
-I'm so sorry. Something's happened.
466
00:29:43,972 --> 00:29:45,610
What'd you do, lose your nerve?
467
00:29:45,692 --> 00:29:48,160
Where's that look
I was going to see so often?
468
00:29:50,332 --> 00:29:52,641
Stop! Don't whistle in my ear, please.
469
00:29:53,052 --> 00:29:54,804
What's wrong? Look at your hair.
470
00:29:54,892 --> 00:29:56,962
What color is it? Has it turned?
471
00:29:57,332 --> 00:30:00,324
Darling, what's the matter?
What happened?
472
00:30:01,932 --> 00:30:03,604
Those flowers are so beautiful.
473
00:30:03,692 --> 00:30:06,684
If I could only tell you, Elaine.
You smell so nice.
474
00:30:07,732 --> 00:30:08,960
You better go home!
475
00:30:09,052 --> 00:30:12,328
-But, darling, we were married today.
-Go to bed, get some rest!
476
00:30:12,412 --> 00:30:13,288
Rest?
477
00:30:15,452 --> 00:30:17,249
Who? Judge Cullman?
478
00:30:18,012 --> 00:30:22,085
This is Mortimer Brewster. I'll tell you
why I called you. It's about Teddy.
479
00:30:22,172 --> 00:30:24,208
I've got to come over
and see you right away.
480
00:30:24,292 --> 00:30:26,169
It won't wait until tomorrow, Judge.
481
00:30:26,252 --> 00:30:29,403
It's very, very important.
We've got to do something immediately.
482
00:30:29,492 --> 00:30:31,448
But it's a matter of life and... Elaine!
483
00:30:33,212 --> 00:30:34,361
Will you get out of here?
484
00:30:34,452 --> 00:30:37,205
What on earth is going on here?
I don't know where I stand!
485
00:30:37,292 --> 00:30:39,965
-Anywhere, but don't stand there!
-But Niagara Falls!
486
00:30:40,092 --> 00:30:42,652
-If it does, we'll let it!
-Wait a minute! Listen.
487
00:30:42,732 --> 00:30:44,802
You can't marry me
and then throw me out!
488
00:30:44,892 --> 00:30:48,362
I'm not throwing you out of the house!
Will you get out of here?
489
00:30:52,692 --> 00:30:54,569
I'm sorry, Judge. A thing happened.
490
00:30:54,852 --> 00:30:56,604
Judge, about Teddy, he's--
491
00:30:58,492 --> 00:30:59,891
It's his bugle blowing.
492
00:30:59,972 --> 00:31:02,930
The police want to throw
him into a state institution.
493
00:31:04,292 --> 00:31:05,805
How do you like that?
494
00:31:05,972 --> 00:31:08,850
-I read an ad here about a room to rent.
-Shut up!
495
00:31:15,612 --> 00:31:19,321
If you sign the papers and Teddy commits
himself, we can get him to Happy Dale.
496
00:31:19,412 --> 00:31:21,084
It's a wonderful place.
497
00:31:21,172 --> 00:31:22,161
You will?
498
00:31:22,292 --> 00:31:24,886
Fine! I'll be over
as soon as I've made another call.
499
00:31:26,932 --> 00:31:28,650
Doorbell's ringing, dear.
500
00:31:33,212 --> 00:31:34,884
How do you do? Come in.
501
00:31:35,092 --> 00:31:37,401
I understand you've got a room to rent.
502
00:31:37,532 --> 00:31:39,124
Do step in.
503
00:31:39,412 --> 00:31:42,563
-Are you the lady of the house?
-Yes, I'm Miss Brewster.
504
00:31:42,652 --> 00:31:44,882
Operator? Give me long distance, please.
505
00:31:44,972 --> 00:31:47,850
And this is my sister.
Another Miss Brewster.
506
00:31:48,012 --> 00:31:51,163
-My name's Gibbs.
-Well, do sit down.
507
00:31:51,412 --> 00:31:54,290
I'm sorry,
we're just setting the table for dinner.
508
00:31:54,972 --> 00:31:58,681
Now, this would be
a nice comfortable chair.
509
00:31:59,412 --> 00:32:03,200
Long distance? I want the Happy Dale
Sanitarium, Happy Dale, New York.
510
00:32:03,292 --> 00:32:07,126
-Is Brooklyn your home?
-I live in a hotel. Don't like it.
511
00:32:07,332 --> 00:32:10,847
Are your family Brooklyn people?
512
00:32:10,932 --> 00:32:14,208
-Haven't got any family.
-All alone in the world?
513
00:32:15,572 --> 00:32:18,370
-Well, Martha...
-No, Happy Dale.
514
00:32:18,972 --> 00:32:21,770
Well, you've come to just the right house.
515
00:32:21,852 --> 00:32:23,365
-Do sit down.
-Dale.
516
00:32:23,772 --> 00:32:25,808
"D" like in "dig," when you dig a lock.
517
00:32:25,892 --> 00:32:28,850
That's right.
"A" Like in "arsenic." Got that?
518
00:32:29,332 --> 00:32:31,323
Is there always this much noise?
519
00:32:31,572 --> 00:32:33,130
He doesn't live with us.
520
00:32:33,212 --> 00:32:35,442
I can see the headlines now. Please.
521
00:32:36,892 --> 00:32:39,690
I'd like to see the room.
I don't think I'll like it.
522
00:32:39,772 --> 00:32:41,205
The room's upstairs.
523
00:32:41,292 --> 00:32:44,523
Won't you try a glass of our wine
before we start up?
524
00:32:44,692 --> 00:32:46,011
Never touch it.
525
00:32:46,132 --> 00:32:50,330
Well, we make this ourselves.
It's elderberry wine.
526
00:32:51,772 --> 00:32:52,887
Elderberry?
527
00:32:55,452 --> 00:32:58,205
I haven't tasted elderberry wine
since I was a boy.
528
00:32:58,292 --> 00:32:59,611
-Thank you.
-Operator!
529
00:32:59,692 --> 00:33:03,082
I don't want the Happy Dale Laundry!
I want the Happy Dale Sanitarium!
530
00:33:03,172 --> 00:33:06,642
Sanitarium! Sanitarium!
Yes, like a broken record!
531
00:33:06,772 --> 00:33:11,368
-Have your own elderberry bushes?
-No, but the cemetery's full of them.
532
00:33:12,052 --> 00:33:13,610
Well, skoal.
533
00:33:13,812 --> 00:33:16,451
Hello, operator! What's taking so long?
534
00:33:16,532 --> 00:33:19,000
It's only across the river!
I could swim it faster!
535
00:33:19,092 --> 00:33:19,922
Yes!
536
00:33:20,812 --> 00:33:22,006
Hello! Hell--
537
00:33:22,652 --> 00:33:23,402
What--
538
00:33:23,492 --> 00:33:24,925
What, they're busy?
539
00:33:25,012 --> 00:33:26,127
Busy?
540
00:33:26,572 --> 00:33:28,290
They're busy and you're dizzy!
541
00:33:28,372 --> 00:33:31,409
No, I'm not drunk, madam,
but you've given me an idea!
542
00:33:38,332 --> 00:33:40,562
Darling, I'm nervous. Don't do that.
543
00:33:41,492 --> 00:33:42,686
Not that.
544
00:33:51,972 --> 00:33:55,408
Get out of here! Do you want
to be poisoned, murdered, killed?
545
00:33:59,812 --> 00:34:01,040
They're nuts!
546
00:34:01,812 --> 00:34:03,245
You're telling me!
547
00:34:10,812 --> 00:34:13,645
Look, you can't do things like that!
548
00:34:20,412 --> 00:34:23,210
Now I don't know
how I can explain this to you...
549
00:34:24,972 --> 00:34:28,521
but it's not only against the law,
it's wrong.
550
00:34:28,812 --> 00:34:30,404
Oh, piffle!
551
00:34:30,732 --> 00:34:32,609
It's not a nice thing to do.
552
00:34:33,372 --> 00:34:36,603
People wouldn't understand.
He wouldn't understand.
553
00:34:39,172 --> 00:34:40,764
What I mean is...
554
00:34:42,132 --> 00:34:45,010
This is developing into a very bad habit!
555
00:34:52,812 --> 00:34:54,723
Who? Happy Dale Sanitarium?
556
00:34:54,892 --> 00:34:56,644
That's amazing, operator.
557
00:34:57,172 --> 00:34:59,686
Happy Dale?
Let me talk to Mr. Witherspoon, please.
558
00:34:59,772 --> 00:35:01,410
Mr. Witherspoon speaking.
559
00:35:02,012 --> 00:35:04,401
How do you do, Mr. Brewster?
How are you?
560
00:35:05,932 --> 00:35:09,083
Mr. Witherspoon, do you--
I'm fine, thanks. How are you?
561
00:35:09,932 --> 00:35:13,561
Do you remember our conversation about
committing my brother to Happy Dale?
562
00:35:13,652 --> 00:35:16,405
You do? Well, we want
to commit him there immediately.
563
00:35:16,612 --> 00:35:17,522
Oh, dear.
564
00:35:17,812 --> 00:35:19,370
Oh, dear. That's too bad.
565
00:35:20,252 --> 00:35:23,289
Well, I'd hoped we wouldn't have him
for some time yet.
566
00:35:23,572 --> 00:35:26,484
We have several Theodore Roosevelts
at the moment...
567
00:35:26,612 --> 00:35:28,648
and it would lead to trouble.
568
00:35:30,132 --> 00:35:32,043
Well, now, if he thought that--
569
00:35:32,172 --> 00:35:35,721
Mr. Brewster, we're a bit short
of Napoleons at present.
570
00:35:35,932 --> 00:35:37,923
Bonaparte. And if--
571
00:35:40,172 --> 00:35:41,730
Oh, I see. Of course.
572
00:35:42,092 --> 00:35:44,731
Well, if your mind is made up. Yes.
573
00:35:45,492 --> 00:35:46,925
Have you had the papers drawn up?
574
00:35:47,012 --> 00:35:49,810
No, but I'll do it now
and call you as soon as I have them.
575
00:35:50,332 --> 00:35:51,811
Thank you, Mr.-- What?
576
00:35:52,332 --> 00:35:54,288
All right. Thank you, Mr. Witherspoon.
577
00:35:55,492 --> 00:35:57,562
Another Roosevelt. Oh, dear.
578
00:35:58,012 --> 00:36:02,528
Now listen, I'm going to Judge Cullman's,
but I want you to promise me something.
579
00:36:02,612 --> 00:36:05,080
Well, we'd have to know what it was first.
580
00:36:05,412 --> 00:36:07,323
I love you both very much.
581
00:36:07,452 --> 00:36:09,727
You know I'd do anything for you,
don't you?
582
00:36:09,812 --> 00:36:10,881
Yes, dear.
583
00:36:11,092 --> 00:36:13,560
I want you to do one thing for me,
like good girls.
584
00:36:13,652 --> 00:36:15,051
What do you want us to do?
585
00:36:15,132 --> 00:36:18,169
Don't do anything.
I mean, don't do anything!
586
00:36:18,692 --> 00:36:21,604
Don't let anyone in the house
and leave Mr. Whosit where he is.
587
00:36:21,692 --> 00:36:25,207
Get off that thing. I can't talk to you...
I can't concentrate.
588
00:36:25,412 --> 00:36:28,210
I wouldn't want anything
in the world to happen to you.
589
00:36:28,292 --> 00:36:30,647
What on earth could happen to us?
590
00:36:30,732 --> 00:36:32,006
Well, darling...
591
00:36:32,132 --> 00:36:34,771
Anyway, you'll do that little thing for me,
won't you?
592
00:36:35,132 --> 00:36:37,009
Where's my hat? There it is.
593
00:36:37,172 --> 00:36:38,730
-But, Mortimer.
-What?
594
00:36:38,812 --> 00:36:42,168
We were planning to hold services
before dinner.
595
00:36:42,652 --> 00:36:46,327
-Couldn't that wait until I get back?
-You could join us in the hymns!
596
00:36:46,412 --> 00:36:49,529
Yes, darling, I'll sing with you,
I'll dance with you, anything.
597
00:36:50,172 --> 00:36:53,209
Remember, don't let anybody in the house
until I get back.
598
00:36:53,292 --> 00:36:54,441
You promise?
599
00:36:54,692 --> 00:36:55,647
Good.
600
00:36:57,812 --> 00:36:58,767
What?
601
00:37:00,612 --> 00:37:02,364
Stop that. What is it?
602
00:37:02,532 --> 00:37:04,045
Mr. Hoskins' hat!
603
00:37:09,692 --> 00:37:12,365
-Do you still want me to wait?
-Yes! Call me a cab!
604
00:37:12,452 --> 00:37:16,161
-Hey, cab! Here you are.
-Don't open it. I'll sit with you!
605
00:37:16,372 --> 00:37:19,728
Yeah, that's right.
I can go faster that way. Sure.
606
00:37:19,972 --> 00:37:21,963
Wait a minute! What am I doing?
607
00:37:26,252 --> 00:37:29,767
Fancy getting nice Mr. Hoskins' hat
all mussed up.
608
00:37:30,292 --> 00:37:32,852
Shame! Such a nice hat.
609
00:37:33,692 --> 00:37:38,129
You know, Mortimer didn't seem
to be quite himself today.
610
00:37:40,212 --> 00:37:41,247
Oh, well.
611
00:37:49,052 --> 00:37:51,441
What were you saying about Mortimer?
612
00:37:51,532 --> 00:37:54,330
I think I understand why
he seemed so upset.
613
00:37:54,572 --> 00:37:55,402
Why?
614
00:37:55,932 --> 00:37:57,809
He's just been married.
615
00:37:58,852 --> 00:38:01,810
I believe that always makes
a man a little nervous.
616
00:38:01,892 --> 00:38:03,530
Yes. The poor dears.
617
00:38:06,172 --> 00:38:08,288
I'm so happy for Elaine.
618
00:38:09,172 --> 00:38:10,082
Abby!
619
00:38:10,292 --> 00:38:14,331
If Mortimer's coming back for the services,
we'll need another hymnal.
620
00:38:14,572 --> 00:38:16,324
There's one up in my room.
621
00:38:18,772 --> 00:38:20,330
I'll go, dear.
622
00:38:21,692 --> 00:38:24,764
We promised Mortimer
we wouldn't let anyone come in.
623
00:38:30,252 --> 00:38:32,641
It's two men,
and I've never seen them before.
624
00:38:32,732 --> 00:38:34,609
-Are you sure?
-Yes.
625
00:38:35,332 --> 00:38:37,448
-Let me look.
-You look.
626
00:38:41,172 --> 00:38:44,130
-Do you recognize them?
-No, they're strangers to me.
627
00:38:46,932 --> 00:38:49,492
We'll just have to pretend
we're not at home.
628
00:39:19,572 --> 00:39:20,925
Come in, doctor.
629
00:39:25,012 --> 00:39:26,889
This is the home of my youth.
630
00:39:28,092 --> 00:39:31,209
As a boy, I couldn't wait to escape
from this house.
631
00:39:32,412 --> 00:39:34,846
Now I'm glad to escape back into it.
632
00:39:36,172 --> 00:39:38,242
Yes, Johnny, it's a good hideout.
633
00:39:39,932 --> 00:39:41,923
The family must still live here.
634
00:39:44,572 --> 00:39:48,087
I hope there's a fatted calf
awaiting the return of the prodigal.
635
00:39:48,372 --> 00:39:49,566
A fatted calf?.
636
00:39:50,492 --> 00:39:52,403
Johnny, I'm so hungry.
637
00:39:52,812 --> 00:39:54,962
Look, Johnny. Drink.
638
00:39:55,692 --> 00:39:57,683
As if we were expected.
639
00:39:57,972 --> 00:39:59,121
A good omen.
640
00:39:59,532 --> 00:40:01,250
Who are you?
641
00:40:01,532 --> 00:40:03,250
What are you doing here?
642
00:40:04,932 --> 00:40:07,321
Aunt Abby. Aunt Martha.
643
00:40:09,052 --> 00:40:10,326
It's Jonathan.
644
00:40:10,932 --> 00:40:12,445
You get out of here!
645
00:40:13,172 --> 00:40:14,844
I'm Jonathan, you know.
646
00:40:15,532 --> 00:40:17,124
Your nephew, Jonathan.
647
00:40:17,332 --> 00:40:18,560
No, you're not.
648
00:40:18,692 --> 00:40:21,729
You're nothing like Jonathan,
so don't pretend you are.
649
00:40:21,972 --> 00:40:23,530
You just get out of here.
650
00:40:23,612 --> 00:40:26,604
I see you're still wearing
the lovely garnet ring...
651
00:40:26,732 --> 00:40:29,200
that Grandma Brewster
bought in England.
652
00:40:30,212 --> 00:40:32,885
And you, Aunt Martha,
still the high collar...
653
00:40:32,972 --> 00:40:36,442
to hide the scar
where Grandfather's acid burned you.
654
00:40:37,372 --> 00:40:40,045
Why, his voice is like Jonathan's.
655
00:40:42,252 --> 00:40:44,766
Have you been in an accident?
656
00:40:44,852 --> 00:40:46,205
My face.
657
00:40:47,412 --> 00:40:50,131
Dr. Einstein is responsible for that.
658
00:40:50,332 --> 00:40:52,050
He's a plastic surgeon.
659
00:40:52,612 --> 00:40:54,921
But I've seen that face before.
660
00:40:57,532 --> 00:41:00,763
Do you remember when we took
the little Schultz boy to the movies...
661
00:41:00,852 --> 00:41:02,444
and I was so frightened?
662
00:41:02,532 --> 00:41:03,885
It was that face.
663
00:41:07,252 --> 00:41:09,243
Take it easy, Johnny. Take it easy.
664
00:41:09,332 --> 00:41:12,529
Don't worry. The last five years,
I give him three different faces.
665
00:41:12,612 --> 00:41:14,682
I give him another one right away.
666
00:41:15,052 --> 00:41:18,362
That last face. I saw that picture, too...
667
00:41:18,612 --> 00:41:22,844
just before I operated. I was intoxicated.
668
00:41:22,932 --> 00:41:25,492
You see, doctor, what you've done to me?
669
00:41:25,892 --> 00:41:28,804
-Even my own family think I'm--
-Johnny, Johnny!
670
00:41:29,012 --> 00:41:32,607
You are home in this lovely house.
671
00:41:33,052 --> 00:41:34,246
You know...
672
00:41:35,732 --> 00:41:38,246
how many times he tells me...
673
00:41:38,492 --> 00:41:41,928
about Brooklyn, about this house
and about his aunts...
674
00:41:42,012 --> 00:41:43,570
he loves so much?
675
00:41:43,892 --> 00:41:45,041
They know you.
676
00:41:45,132 --> 00:41:46,850
Please tell him so.
677
00:41:49,692 --> 00:41:51,364
Jonathan...
678
00:41:51,652 --> 00:41:53,290
it's been a long time.
679
00:41:53,412 --> 00:41:56,006
Bless you. It's good to be home again.
680
00:42:01,252 --> 00:42:03,891
We mustn't let what's on the stove
boil over.
681
00:42:05,572 --> 00:42:08,132
If you'll excuse us for a moment, Jonathan.
682
00:42:08,372 --> 00:42:11,728
Unless you're in a hurry to go somewhere.
683
00:42:30,452 --> 00:42:32,283
Where do we go from here?
684
00:42:34,052 --> 00:42:36,327
You know, we got to think fast.
685
00:42:37,132 --> 00:42:41,284
The police got pictures of that face.
I got to operate on you right away.
686
00:42:41,692 --> 00:42:43,410
We got to find someplace.
687
00:42:44,892 --> 00:42:47,770
We got to find someplace
for Mr. Spenalzo, too.
688
00:42:48,532 --> 00:42:50,648
Don't waste any worry on that rat.
689
00:42:50,932 --> 00:42:53,810
But we got a hot stiff on our hands.
690
00:42:54,292 --> 00:42:55,930
Forget Mr. Spenalzo.
691
00:42:56,252 --> 00:42:59,449
But, Johnny, we can't leave
a dead body in the rumble seat.
692
00:43:00,052 --> 00:43:01,804
You shouldn't have killed him.
693
00:43:01,892 --> 00:43:05,202
Just because he knows something
about us, what happens?
694
00:43:08,132 --> 00:43:11,124
We come to him for help
and he tries to shake us down.
695
00:43:14,132 --> 00:43:18,045
Besides, he said I looked like Boris Karloff.
696
00:43:21,052 --> 00:43:22,724
That's your work, doctor.
697
00:43:22,812 --> 00:43:24,211
You did that to me.
698
00:43:24,372 --> 00:43:26,203
Please, Johnny, take it easy.
699
00:43:26,332 --> 00:43:29,563
We'll find some place
and I'll fix you up right away.
700
00:43:29,652 --> 00:43:32,212
Yes, tonight, but I have to eat first.
701
00:43:32,452 --> 00:43:35,410
This time, I want the face
of an absolute nonentity.
702
00:43:35,852 --> 00:43:38,889
Yes. I know exactly what I'm going to do.
703
00:43:39,052 --> 00:43:42,362
You see, I'm going to take this piece here
and lift it up--
704
00:43:42,452 --> 00:43:44,522
Be careful about the stitches this time.
705
00:43:44,612 --> 00:43:46,284
You leave that up to me.
706
00:43:46,372 --> 00:43:47,885
I'll give you nice ears and--
707
00:43:47,972 --> 00:43:50,691
-You were careless last time.
-And new stitches.
708
00:43:50,812 --> 00:43:54,009
And on the eyes I'll do a Schmidt.
That's my specialty.
709
00:43:54,132 --> 00:43:57,363
-I take it together like this--
-Leave the eyes alone.
710
00:43:57,532 --> 00:43:59,124
Leave the nose alone.
711
00:43:59,372 --> 00:44:00,805
Poor Teddy.
712
00:44:01,332 --> 00:44:03,448
I imagine it's for the best.
713
00:44:05,892 --> 00:44:09,248
"Ours not to reason why, ours but to do--"
714
00:44:09,372 --> 00:44:11,840
Sign right here, please, Judge. Excuse me.
715
00:44:11,972 --> 00:44:13,451
Right there.
716
00:44:13,652 --> 00:44:17,440
Sometimes I think,
with the world in its present chaotic state--
717
00:44:17,532 --> 00:44:21,366
Yes, we'd all be better off at Happy Dale.
I sign here as next of kin, don't l?
718
00:44:21,732 --> 00:44:25,247
Only last week I created a mild sensation...
719
00:44:25,332 --> 00:44:28,244
at the Bar Association, when I said--
720
00:44:28,372 --> 00:44:30,408
Goodbye. Good luck, Judge. Thank you.
721
00:44:30,492 --> 00:44:34,451
Tell Martha and Abby I'll be over this week.
I've been feeling rather lonely.
722
00:44:34,572 --> 00:44:37,405
No! Never tell them
you've been lonely. Never!
723
00:44:37,492 --> 00:44:39,881
-Why, I don't--
-Judge!
724
00:44:40,652 --> 00:44:42,802
Tell me, are you a drinking man?
725
00:44:43,092 --> 00:44:45,765
Why, no. I never indulge.
726
00:44:45,892 --> 00:44:47,803
Good! Then you'll live longer.
727
00:44:47,892 --> 00:44:50,008
Of course a little wine now--
728
00:44:50,092 --> 00:44:52,242
No! For heaven's sake, no wine!
729
00:44:54,892 --> 00:44:57,326
I may be committing the wrong Brewster.
730
00:44:59,492 --> 00:45:02,802
Well, I'm sure you both want to get
to wherever you're going.
731
00:45:03,212 --> 00:45:07,205
My dear, sweet aunties,
I'm so full of your delicious dinner...
732
00:45:07,572 --> 00:45:11,087
-I�m unable to move a muscle.
-Yes, it's nice here.
733
00:45:11,292 --> 00:45:12,691
I found it!
734
00:45:15,052 --> 00:45:16,565
Gentlemen, be seated.
735
00:45:19,492 --> 00:45:22,564
Here it is, gentlemen.
The story of my life, my biography.
736
00:45:22,652 --> 00:45:25,724
Here's the picture I was telling you about.
Here we both are.
737
00:45:25,812 --> 00:45:28,406
President Roosevelt and General Goethals
at Culebra Cut.
738
00:45:28,572 --> 00:45:30,688
That's me, General, and that's you.
739
00:45:31,732 --> 00:45:33,688
My, how I've changed!
740
00:45:34,452 --> 00:45:38,604
That picture hasn't been taken yet.
We haven't started work on Culebra Cut.
741
00:45:38,732 --> 00:45:40,211
We're still digging locks.
742
00:45:40,292 --> 00:45:44,046
And now, General, we will both go
to Panama and inspect the new lock.
743
00:45:44,132 --> 00:45:46,202
No, Teddy. Not to Panama.
744
00:45:46,292 --> 00:45:50,171
Maybe some other time, Mr. President.
Panama is a long ways off.
745
00:45:50,252 --> 00:45:53,005
-Nonsense! It's just down in the cellar.
-The cellar?
746
00:45:53,532 --> 00:45:56,763
We let him dig the Panama Canal
in the cellar.
747
00:45:57,412 --> 00:45:59,403
-General Goethals?
-Yes, sir.
748
00:45:59,612 --> 00:46:02,570
As President of the US, Commander
in Chief of the Army and Navy...
749
00:46:02,652 --> 00:46:04,608
and the man who gave you this job...
750
00:46:04,692 --> 00:46:08,241
l demand that you accompany me
on the inspection of the new lock.
751
00:46:08,332 --> 00:46:10,641
I think it's time for you to go to bed.
752
00:46:11,132 --> 00:46:14,408
I beg your pardon. Who are you?
753
00:46:14,492 --> 00:46:16,403
I'm Woodrow Wilson. Go to bed.
754
00:46:18,612 --> 00:46:21,763
No, you're not Wilson.
But your face is familiar.
755
00:46:22,492 --> 00:46:26,485
You're not anyone I know now.
Perhaps later, on my hunting trip to Africa.
756
00:46:26,572 --> 00:46:29,325
You look like someone
I might meet in the jungle.
757
00:46:29,892 --> 00:46:33,089
I think, perhaps,
you had better go to bed, Teddy.
758
00:46:33,252 --> 00:46:36,050
He and his friend want to get back
to their hotel.
759
00:46:36,732 --> 00:46:38,529
General Goethals, inspect the canal.
760
00:46:39,612 --> 00:46:42,046
All right, Mr. President, we go to Panama.
761
00:46:42,212 --> 00:46:44,885
Bully, bully! Follow me, General.
762
00:46:48,292 --> 00:46:50,203
It's down south, you know.
763
00:46:53,452 --> 00:46:54,851
Well, bon voyage!
764
00:46:59,892 --> 00:47:02,042
I must correct your misapprehension.
765
00:47:03,092 --> 00:47:04,969
You talked of our hotel.
766
00:47:05,092 --> 00:47:08,607
We have no hotel. We came here directly.
767
00:47:08,932 --> 00:47:12,971
This is not your home,
and I'm afraid you can't stay here.
768
00:47:17,292 --> 00:47:20,921
Dr. Einstein and I need a place to sleep.
769
00:47:21,452 --> 00:47:24,524
You remember that, as a boy,
I could be disagreeable.
770
00:47:25,372 --> 00:47:28,603
It would not be pleasant for any of us if...
771
00:47:28,692 --> 00:47:31,445
I don't have to go into details, do l?
772
00:47:32,012 --> 00:47:34,480
Perhaps we'd better let them
stay here tonight.
773
00:47:36,372 --> 00:47:38,090
Come here. Quick.
774
00:47:38,172 --> 00:47:39,241
I forgot to tell you...
775
00:47:39,332 --> 00:47:43,530
Doctor and I are turning Grandfather's
laboratory into an operating room.
776
00:47:43,692 --> 00:47:45,728
We expect to be very busy.
777
00:47:49,652 --> 00:47:52,166
-Down here, what do you think I find?
-What?
778
00:47:52,252 --> 00:47:54,049
The Panama Canal.
779
00:47:54,732 --> 00:47:56,802
And it just fits Mr. Spenalzo.
780
00:47:57,532 --> 00:48:00,968
See the hole he's digging.
Four feet wide, six feet long.
781
00:48:01,052 --> 00:48:02,405
He just fits!
782
00:48:02,532 --> 00:48:05,842
You'd think he knew
we were bringing Mr. Spenalzo along.
783
00:48:06,212 --> 00:48:07,770
That's hospitality.
784
00:48:08,212 --> 00:48:10,089
Rather a good joke on my aunts.
785
00:48:10,172 --> 00:48:13,448
They're living in a house
with a body buried in the cellar.
786
00:48:16,092 --> 00:48:17,923
How do we get him in here?
787
00:48:18,212 --> 00:48:22,125
Yes, we can't just walk
Mr. Spenalzo in through the door.
788
00:48:22,252 --> 00:48:26,723
We'll get the car and after they're in bed,
we'll bring him in through the window.
789
00:48:26,812 --> 00:48:27,688
Bed.
790
00:48:30,212 --> 00:48:33,488
We're moving the car behind the house.
You'd better get to bed.
791
00:48:33,572 --> 00:48:36,166
The car is all right where it is
until morning.
792
00:48:36,252 --> 00:48:40,211
I don't want to leave it in the street.
That might be against the law.
793
00:48:45,812 --> 00:48:47,609
What are we going to do?
794
00:48:47,812 --> 00:48:51,725
We're not going to let them spend
more than one night in this house.
795
00:48:51,932 --> 00:48:53,684
What would the neighbors think?
796
00:48:53,772 --> 00:48:57,242
People coming in here with one face
and going out with another.
797
00:48:58,172 --> 00:49:00,606
What are we going to do
about Mr. Hoskins?
798
00:49:01,172 --> 00:49:02,764
Mr. Hoskins!
799
00:49:03,132 --> 00:49:05,930
It can't be very comfortable
for him in there.
800
00:49:06,212 --> 00:49:09,284
And he's been so patient, the poor dear.
801
00:49:10,812 --> 00:49:14,725
I think Teddy had better take
Mr. Hoskins downstairs right away.
802
00:49:15,732 --> 00:49:19,930
General Goethals was very pleased.
He said the canal was just the right size.
803
00:49:21,652 --> 00:49:25,167
Teddy, there's been
another yellow-fever victim.
804
00:49:25,372 --> 00:49:28,842
Dear me!
This will be a shock to the General.
805
00:49:29,572 --> 00:49:32,325
No, we must keep it a secret.
806
00:49:33,812 --> 00:49:35,006
A state secret?
807
00:49:35,132 --> 00:49:36,963
Yes, a state secret.
808
00:49:37,172 --> 00:49:38,161
Promise?
809
00:49:38,972 --> 00:49:41,645
You have the word of the President
of the United States.
810
00:49:41,732 --> 00:49:45,202
Cross my heart and hope to die.
Now, let's see.
811
00:49:45,932 --> 00:49:48,241
How are we going to keep it a secret?
812
00:49:48,452 --> 00:49:51,888
Teddy, I think you'd better get back down
into the cellar.
813
00:49:52,052 --> 00:49:53,201
And then...
814
00:49:53,332 --> 00:49:56,961
when I turn out the lights,
when everything's dark here...
815
00:49:57,252 --> 00:49:59,971
you come up and take
the poor man down to the canal.
816
00:50:00,052 --> 00:50:01,201
Now get along.
817
00:50:01,372 --> 00:50:04,330
And we'll come down later
and hold services.
818
00:50:05,252 --> 00:50:07,641
-Where is the poor devil?
-In the window seat.
819
00:50:07,732 --> 00:50:09,131
It seems to be spreading.
820
00:50:09,212 --> 00:50:11,772
We've never had yellow fever there before.
821
00:50:15,972 --> 00:50:18,850
I've never even seen Mr. Hoskins!
822
00:50:19,012 --> 00:50:22,288
My goodness! That's right, you were out.
823
00:50:23,252 --> 00:50:26,483
You just come right along
and see him now.
824
00:50:27,452 --> 00:50:32,048
You know, he's really very nice looking,
considering that he's a Methodist.
825
00:50:48,172 --> 00:50:50,527
We're bringing the luggage through here.
826
00:50:56,812 --> 00:51:00,361
Your room is waiting for you.
You can go right up.
827
00:51:01,252 --> 00:51:05,006
I'm afraid we don't keep Brooklyn hours.
You two run along to bed.
828
00:51:05,252 --> 00:51:08,289
But you must be very tired. Both of you.
829
00:51:08,452 --> 00:51:12,445
-And we don't go to bed this early.
-It's time I came home to take care of you.
830
00:51:12,692 --> 00:51:14,523
Take the bags upstairs.
831
00:51:14,852 --> 00:51:17,491
For the instruments, I'll come back later.
832
00:51:17,772 --> 00:51:19,046
Good night.
833
00:51:19,572 --> 00:51:21,005
Now, we'll all go to bed.
834
00:51:21,092 --> 00:51:24,801
I'll wait until you're up
and then turn out the lights.
835
00:51:25,492 --> 00:51:27,289
Run along, Aunt Martha.
836
00:51:28,652 --> 00:51:30,722
Just off the laboratory, Doctor.
837
00:51:38,172 --> 00:51:40,640
-All right, Aunt Abby.
-I'll be right up.
838
00:51:40,812 --> 00:51:43,042
Now! Turn out the lights.
839
00:52:13,532 --> 00:52:15,011
Aunt Abby.
840
00:54:15,132 --> 00:54:16,360
He's all right, Johnny.
841
00:54:25,492 --> 00:54:28,450
I'll open the window.
You go round and hand him through.
842
00:54:28,652 --> 00:54:30,927
But he's too heavy for me.
843
00:54:32,412 --> 00:54:35,802
You go outside and push,
and I'll stay here and pull.
844
00:54:36,012 --> 00:54:38,731
And then together we take him
down to Panama.
845
00:54:39,252 --> 00:54:42,801
All right. We must be quick.
I'll take a look around outside the house.
846
00:54:43,012 --> 00:54:45,480
When I tap on the glass,
you open the window.
847
00:54:45,572 --> 00:54:46,527
Yeah.
848
00:54:54,212 --> 00:54:55,804
It's dark in here.
849
00:55:08,772 --> 00:55:09,887
Where am l?
850
00:55:10,932 --> 00:55:12,047
Here I am.
851
00:55:13,212 --> 00:55:15,772
Who left this open?
852
00:55:20,852 --> 00:55:23,810
Okay, wait a minute. Hand him over.
853
00:55:24,012 --> 00:55:26,572
Now I have him. Allez, up!
854
00:55:27,972 --> 00:55:31,726
Now, wait a minute.
You lost a leg somewhere.
855
00:55:34,252 --> 00:55:36,049
Help me. He's so heavy.
856
00:55:36,252 --> 00:55:39,403
Now I have him. Now I got him.
857
00:55:40,332 --> 00:55:43,529
-Be careful.
-But his shoe came off.
858
00:55:44,532 --> 00:55:47,330
Help me. He's so heavy.
859
00:55:47,532 --> 00:55:49,648
Now I've got him!
860
00:55:51,252 --> 00:55:54,369
Johnny, somebody's at the door.
Go open, quick.
861
00:55:54,572 --> 00:55:57,644
I'll manage Spenalzo. Go, quick!
862
00:56:10,732 --> 00:56:11,721
Mortimer!
863
00:56:16,412 --> 00:56:17,481
Aunt Abby!
864
00:56:19,372 --> 00:56:20,566
Aunt Martha!
865
00:56:25,732 --> 00:56:26,767
Who is it?
866
00:56:26,852 --> 00:56:28,285
Is that you, Teddy?
867
00:56:28,372 --> 00:56:29,327
Who are you?
868
00:56:29,412 --> 00:56:31,642
I'm Elaine Harper. I live next door.
869
00:56:31,892 --> 00:56:33,530
What are you doing here?
870
00:56:33,612 --> 00:56:35,921
I came here to see my husband, Mortimer.
871
00:56:36,012 --> 00:56:38,162
Why did you say your name was Harper?
872
00:56:38,252 --> 00:56:40,163
It is Harper. I mean, it's Brewster.
873
00:56:40,252 --> 00:56:42,846
I'm not very used to it.
I'm a brand-new Brewster.
874
00:56:42,932 --> 00:56:43,887
Doctor!
875
00:56:45,132 --> 00:56:46,963
It's all right. It's okay.
876
00:56:56,212 --> 00:56:58,680
Maybe you'd better explain
what you're doing here.
877
00:56:58,772 --> 00:57:00,728
We happen to live here.
878
00:57:01,012 --> 00:57:02,491
You don't live here.
879
00:57:02,572 --> 00:57:05,166
I'm in this house every day,
I've never seen you before.
880
00:57:05,252 --> 00:57:08,324
Where are Martha and Abby?
What have you done to them?
881
00:57:09,412 --> 00:57:11,801
Perhaps we'd better introduce ourselves.
882
00:57:12,212 --> 00:57:14,726
May I present Dr. Einstein?
883
00:57:15,172 --> 00:57:17,128
Dr. Einstein?
884
00:57:17,292 --> 00:57:19,681
A surgeon of great distinction.
885
00:57:21,972 --> 00:57:24,042
And something of a magician.
886
00:57:24,772 --> 00:57:28,481
-I suppose you'll tell me you're Boris--
-I am Jonathan Brewster.
887
00:57:30,732 --> 00:57:33,121
-You're Jonathan.
-You've heard of me?
888
00:57:33,292 --> 00:57:36,204
-Yes, they talk about you.
-What do they say about me?
889
00:57:36,292 --> 00:57:39,648
Just that there's another brother
named Jonathan, that's all.
890
00:57:40,332 --> 00:57:43,369
That explains everything.
Now that I know who you are...
891
00:57:43,532 --> 00:57:46,968
I�ll just be running along
if you'll kindly unlock the door.
892
00:57:59,412 --> 00:58:02,882
"That explains everything."
Just what do you mean by that?
893
00:58:03,012 --> 00:58:05,480
Why do you come here
at this time of night?
894
00:58:05,612 --> 00:58:09,287
I just thought I saw Mortimer drive up.
I suppose it was you.
895
00:58:12,412 --> 00:58:14,721
You thought you saw someone drive up?
896
00:58:15,092 --> 00:58:17,845
Yes. Weren't you just outside?
Isn�t that your car?
897
00:58:17,932 --> 00:58:20,321
-You saw someone at the car?
-Yes.
898
00:58:20,532 --> 00:58:23,171
-What else did you see?
-Just that, that's all!
899
00:58:23,292 --> 00:58:26,125
I see. Is that why you came over here?
900
00:58:26,212 --> 00:58:29,648
No, I came to see Mortimer.
But if he's not home, I'll run--
901
00:58:29,772 --> 00:58:31,728
-You've given two names.
-You're hurting me!
902
00:58:31,812 --> 00:58:33,882
I think she's dangerous.
903
00:58:34,012 --> 00:58:36,367
No visitors. It's going to be
a private funeral.
904
00:58:40,132 --> 00:58:43,522
-Tell these men who I am!
-That's my daughter, Alice.
905
00:58:43,852 --> 00:58:44,648
No!
906
00:58:45,972 --> 00:58:48,691
Don't be a tomboy.
Don't play rough with the gentlemen.
907
00:58:48,772 --> 00:58:49,761
Charge!
908
00:58:58,652 --> 00:59:00,131
Doctor, the cellar.
909
00:59:01,892 --> 00:59:03,610
Let go of me!
910
00:59:04,332 --> 00:59:06,004
Let go of me!
911
00:59:07,052 --> 00:59:09,247
What's the matter?
What's happening down there?
912
00:59:12,972 --> 00:59:15,486
What's the matter?
What are you doing there?
913
00:59:15,852 --> 00:59:19,162
We caught a burglar, a sneak thief.
Go back to your room.
914
00:59:19,332 --> 00:59:22,961
-We'll call the police.
-I'll handle this. Go back to your room.
915
00:59:23,652 --> 00:59:24,880
Do you hear me?
916
00:59:27,572 --> 00:59:29,051
Don't answer that.
917
00:59:30,052 --> 00:59:31,485
Don't answer that!
918
00:59:44,412 --> 00:59:48,200
Where's Teddy? Is he upstairs?
Never mind that now, darling.
919
00:59:48,292 --> 00:59:50,931
What are you doing
with your best clothes on?
920
00:59:51,452 --> 00:59:53,522
Holy... What's that?
921
00:59:55,612 --> 00:59:58,172
What's that thing that looks like
a cigar-store dummy?
922
00:59:58,252 --> 01:00:02,689
-It's your brother and Dr. Einstein.
-Didn't I tell you not to let anybody in?
923
01:00:02,772 --> 01:00:05,923
-Who did you say it was?
-It's your brother, Jonathan!
924
01:00:10,692 --> 01:00:13,525
-I've come back home, Mortimer.
-What?
925
01:00:13,892 --> 01:00:15,723
I've come back home, Mortimer.
926
01:00:15,812 --> 01:00:18,929
"I've come back home, Mortimer."
Listen, it talks!
927
01:00:20,332 --> 01:00:21,924
Yes, I talk.
928
01:00:22,372 --> 01:00:26,570
Mortimer, have you forgotten
the things I used to do to you...
929
01:00:26,932 --> 01:00:29,002
when you were tied to the bedpost?
930
01:00:29,092 --> 01:00:32,482
The needles under your fingernails.
931
01:00:32,692 --> 01:00:34,603
-Mortimer, he--
-Wait a minute.
932
01:00:42,332 --> 01:00:43,924
Holy mackerel!
933
01:00:44,132 --> 01:00:45,167
It is Jonathan!
934
01:00:45,252 --> 01:00:47,049
I'm glad you remember, Mortimer.
935
01:00:48,652 --> 01:00:50,051
Yeah, I remember.
936
01:00:50,492 --> 01:00:52,130
How could I forget you?
937
01:00:52,572 --> 01:00:54,847
Where'd you get that face? Hollywood?
938
01:00:55,492 --> 01:00:59,770
Don't you two boys start quarreling
the minute you've seen each other.
939
01:00:59,852 --> 01:01:03,128
We invited Jonathan
and Dr. Einstein to stay.
940
01:01:03,572 --> 01:01:05,563
-What?
-Just for tonight.
941
01:01:05,692 --> 01:01:07,569
No, I'm staying here tonight.
942
01:01:07,692 --> 01:01:10,252
-In fact, I'm staying here from now on.
-What about me?
943
01:01:10,332 --> 01:01:12,288
There's no room for anybody else here.
944
01:01:12,372 --> 01:01:13,771
Please, just a moment.
945
01:01:13,852 --> 01:01:16,127
So take that little squirt and beat it!
946
01:01:16,332 --> 01:01:18,971
Where's Teddy?
I've got to see him right away.
947
01:01:20,132 --> 01:01:21,804
We don't take up much room.
948
01:01:21,892 --> 01:01:25,089
Johnny can sleep on the sofa,
and I'll sleep on the window seat.
949
01:01:25,172 --> 01:01:26,446
Nothing to...
950
01:01:26,732 --> 01:01:28,085
Window seat?
951
01:01:28,852 --> 01:01:30,365
Certainly not on the window seat.
952
01:01:30,452 --> 01:01:32,682
I'm going to sleep on the window seat.
953
01:01:33,052 --> 01:01:34,883
I'll sleep on the window seat from now on.
954
01:01:36,972 --> 01:01:37,961
Now look.
955
01:01:38,932 --> 01:01:40,365
Now, be a good fellow.
956
01:01:40,452 --> 01:01:43,171
Here's $10. Go out
and haunt yourself a hotel.
957
01:01:45,692 --> 01:01:49,651
Mortimer, you know what I do
to people who order me around.
958
01:01:52,852 --> 01:01:54,365
Mr. Spenalzo.
959
01:01:54,572 --> 01:01:55,448
What?
960
01:01:55,572 --> 01:01:58,769
What's going to happen to Mr. Spenalzo?
961
01:01:59,932 --> 01:02:02,685
We can't leave him here
in the window seat.
962
01:02:08,052 --> 01:02:11,408
Doctor, I've completely lost track
of Mr. Spenalzo.
963
01:02:11,572 --> 01:02:13,961
Wait! Who's this Mr. Spenalzo?
964
01:02:14,132 --> 01:02:16,441
A friend of ours Johnny was looking for.
965
01:02:16,532 --> 01:02:19,000
Don't bring anyone else in here.
Now, beat it!
966
01:02:19,092 --> 01:02:20,445
It's all right, Johnny.
967
01:02:20,532 --> 01:02:23,126
While we are packing,
I'll tell you about him.
968
01:02:29,332 --> 01:02:32,404
I'll take care of you, Mortimer,
in just a little while.
969
01:02:33,492 --> 01:02:34,766
How do you like that?
970
01:02:34,852 --> 01:02:38,128
The guy stays away for 20 years
and picks tonight to come back.
971
01:02:38,212 --> 01:02:40,123
Elaine, what are you doing here?
972
01:02:40,252 --> 01:02:42,447
-Mortimer!
-What's the matter, darling?
973
01:02:42,532 --> 01:02:45,524
-I almost got killed.
-Killed?
974
01:02:46,492 --> 01:02:47,925
Aunt Abby, Aunt Martha!
975
01:02:49,292 --> 01:02:50,964
No! It was Jonathan!
976
01:02:51,332 --> 01:02:53,368
He mistook her for a sneak thief.
977
01:02:53,452 --> 01:02:55,568
-Oh, that.
-It was worse than that.
978
01:02:55,692 --> 01:02:57,410
He's some kind of a maniac.
979
01:02:57,492 --> 01:02:58,845
I'm afraid of him.
980
01:02:58,932 --> 01:03:01,571
Darling, don't worry about it.
I'm here now. Forget it.
981
01:03:01,692 --> 01:03:04,650
We were married today,
we were going over Niagara Falls...
982
01:03:04,732 --> 01:03:08,088
your brother tries to strangle me,
a taxi's waiting...
983
01:03:08,292 --> 01:03:10,487
and now you want to sleep
on a window seat!
984
01:03:10,572 --> 01:03:12,403
Window seat. Witherspoon.
985
01:03:12,652 --> 01:03:14,608
-You'd better run along home.
-What?
986
01:03:14,692 --> 01:03:17,411
Go on home like a good girl.
I got things to do.
987
01:03:17,492 --> 01:03:18,766
-But--
-Please.
988
01:03:19,052 --> 01:03:21,566
Operator?
Get me Happy Dale 2-7-0, please.
989
01:03:21,852 --> 01:03:24,241
But didn't you hear what I was just saying?
990
01:03:24,332 --> 01:03:27,369
Your own brother Jonathan,
he was trying to strangle me!
991
01:03:27,492 --> 01:03:29,767
-Please! This is important!
-That?
992
01:03:30,452 --> 01:03:32,602
Mr. Witherspoon?
This is Mortimer Brewster.
993
01:03:32,692 --> 01:03:34,728
Yes, Mr. Brewster.
994
01:03:35,252 --> 01:03:37,561
Well, I don't understand you.
995
01:03:37,652 --> 01:03:40,485
-He was going to kill me!
-Wait, I can't hear the man.
996
01:03:40,572 --> 01:03:42,722
Well, look.
I've got the papers all drawn up.
997
01:03:42,812 --> 01:03:47,169
I know it's late, but come down here
and get my brother immediately!
998
01:03:47,292 --> 01:03:48,327
Please, darling.
999
01:03:48,412 --> 01:03:52,246
By the way, you've had the papers signed
by your brother and the doctor, of course?
1000
01:03:52,332 --> 01:03:53,481
By the doctor?
1001
01:03:53,612 --> 01:03:56,445
Oh, holy mackerel! I forgot the doctor!
1002
01:03:58,372 --> 01:04:01,284
Please, be quiet! Can't you see
I've got to get a doctor?
1003
01:04:01,572 --> 01:04:03,608
What kind of a doctor? A family doctor?
1004
01:04:03,692 --> 01:04:07,048
You can take your honeymoon,
wedding ring, taxi, window seat...
1005
01:04:07,132 --> 01:04:10,010
put them in a barrel,
and push them all over Niagara Falls!
1006
01:04:10,092 --> 01:04:11,764
Thank you, darling. Thank you.
1007
01:04:11,852 --> 01:04:14,286
Why don't you come down here anyway?
1008
01:04:14,372 --> 01:04:17,921
While you're getting here,
I'll get Teddy's and the doctor's signatures.
1009
01:04:19,252 --> 01:04:22,244
I'll get both signatures.
Yeah, well, come right away.
1010
01:04:22,852 --> 01:04:24,604
What's the matter with her?
1011
01:04:34,652 --> 01:04:37,530
Let me sit down.
Let me think about this thing.
1012
01:04:38,652 --> 01:04:41,405
Doctor, Teddy, signature...
1013
01:04:42,172 --> 01:04:43,400
Hoskins!
1014
01:05:01,212 --> 01:05:03,328
Ye gods! There's another one!
1015
01:05:04,652 --> 01:05:06,005
Aunt Abby! Aunt Martha!
1016
01:05:06,092 --> 01:05:08,208
-Come in here!
-We're busy.
1017
01:05:08,292 --> 01:05:10,283
No, you come in here now!
1018
01:05:12,172 --> 01:05:14,606
Yes, dear, what is it? Where's Elaine?
1019
01:05:14,812 --> 01:05:17,007
Didn't you promise not to let anyone in?
1020
01:05:17,092 --> 01:05:19,322
-Jonathan just walked in.
-I don't mean Jonathan!
1021
01:05:19,412 --> 01:05:22,370
I don't mean Dr. Einstein!
Who is that in the window seat?
1022
01:05:22,452 --> 01:05:24,124
We told you. Mr. Hoskins.
1023
01:05:24,212 --> 01:05:26,567
It is not Mr. Hoskins!
1024
01:05:27,292 --> 01:05:28,247
There!
1025
01:05:30,332 --> 01:05:31,651
Who can that be?
1026
01:05:34,092 --> 01:05:37,528
-Are you saying you've never seen him?
-I certainly am.
1027
01:05:37,692 --> 01:05:39,330
This is a fine how-do-you-do!
1028
01:05:39,412 --> 01:05:41,767
It's getting so anyone thinks
he can walk in!
1029
01:05:41,892 --> 01:05:45,771
Don't you try to get out of this!
That's another one of your gentlemen!
1030
01:05:45,852 --> 01:05:48,002
How can you say such a thing?
1031
01:05:48,372 --> 01:05:50,442
That man's an impostor.
1032
01:05:51,372 --> 01:05:55,285
And if he came here to be buried
in our cellar, he's mistaken.
1033
01:05:56,692 --> 01:05:59,160
You admitted you put Mr. Hoskins
in the window seat.
1034
01:05:59,252 --> 01:06:00,048
Yes, I did.
1035
01:06:00,132 --> 01:06:02,851
This man couldn't have got the idea
from Mr. Hoskins!
1036
01:06:02,932 --> 01:06:06,368
-By the way, where is Mr. Hoskins?
-He must have gone to Panama.
1037
01:06:06,492 --> 01:06:08,210
-What? You buried him?
-Not yet.
1038
01:06:08,292 --> 01:06:11,170
He's down there
waiting for the services, poor dear.
1039
01:06:11,252 --> 01:06:14,642
We haven't had a minute,
what with Jonathan in the house.
1040
01:06:16,652 --> 01:06:17,528
Oh, dear.
1041
01:06:17,692 --> 01:06:21,162
We've always wanted
to hold a double funeral.
1042
01:06:21,372 --> 01:06:25,001
But I will not read services
over a total stranger!
1043
01:06:26,012 --> 01:06:28,810
A total stranger. How can I believe you?
1044
01:06:28,892 --> 01:06:31,690
There are 12 men down there,
you admit you poisoned them!
1045
01:06:31,772 --> 01:06:35,731
Yes, I did. But you don't think
I'd stoop to telling a fib!
1046
01:06:37,332 --> 01:06:39,288
What do you think has happened?
1047
01:06:39,532 --> 01:06:40,851
"A fib! "
1048
01:06:56,212 --> 01:07:00,410
This may interest you, Mortimer.
I've decided that we're staying.
1049
01:07:00,532 --> 01:07:04,844
And I've also decided that you're leaving,
and I mean now.
1050
01:07:05,012 --> 01:07:07,970
Listen, handsome. I'm in no mood
to debate the question.
1051
01:07:08,052 --> 01:07:11,124
Are you getting out,
or am I throwing you out on your ear?
1052
01:07:11,212 --> 01:07:13,442
I've led a strange life.
1053
01:07:14,212 --> 01:07:15,964
Martha, you come straight along here.
1054
01:07:16,052 --> 01:07:18,805
You just look and see
what's in that window seat.
1055
01:07:20,692 --> 01:07:21,920
No. Don't...
1056
01:07:44,492 --> 01:07:47,131
Let Aunt Martha see
what's in the window seat.
1057
01:07:51,012 --> 01:07:53,970
Aunt Abby, darling, I owe you an apology.
1058
01:07:54,172 --> 01:07:57,448
I've got some very good news for you.
Jonathan is leaving.
1059
01:07:58,772 --> 01:08:02,606
And he's taking Dr. Einstein
and that cold companion with him.
1060
01:08:07,892 --> 01:08:10,770
Listen. You're my brother,
you're a Brewster.
1061
01:08:10,852 --> 01:08:14,003
I'll give you a chance to get away
and take the evidence with you.
1062
01:08:14,172 --> 01:08:16,402
You can't ask for more than that.
1063
01:08:17,332 --> 01:08:18,321
Well?
1064
01:08:20,892 --> 01:08:23,884
All right, in that case,
I'll have to call the police.
1065
01:08:26,052 --> 01:08:27,929
Don't reach for the telephone.
1066
01:08:28,052 --> 01:08:31,761
Remember, what happened
to Mr. Spenalzo can happen to you, too.
1067
01:08:31,972 --> 01:08:33,246
Spenalzo?
1068
01:08:33,452 --> 01:08:35,727
I knew he was a foreigner.
1069
01:08:36,452 --> 01:08:38,329
Put down that telephone.
1070
01:08:47,092 --> 01:08:48,081
Officer O'Hara!
1071
01:08:48,172 --> 01:08:50,925
I saw the lights and thought
you might have sickness...
1072
01:08:51,012 --> 01:08:52,843
You got company? Sorry I disturbed you.
1073
01:08:52,932 --> 01:08:55,287
-No! Come in.
-Yes, do come in.
1074
01:08:55,372 --> 01:08:58,205
Come right in, Officer.
This is our nephew, Mortimer.
1075
01:08:58,292 --> 01:09:00,169
-Pleased to meet you.
-Glad to see you.
1076
01:09:00,252 --> 01:09:03,881
-And this is another nephew, Jonathan.
-Pleased to make your acquaintance.
1077
01:09:04,252 --> 01:09:07,210
Your face is familiar.
Haven't I seen a picture of you?
1078
01:09:07,292 --> 01:09:09,044
I don't think so.
1079
01:09:09,132 --> 01:09:12,169
-I'll be running along.
-Why? Stay until my brother leaves.
1080
01:09:12,252 --> 01:09:13,605
I got to ring in, Mr.--
1081
01:09:13,692 --> 01:09:16,764
Are you "the" Mortimer Brewster,
the writer and dramatic critic?
1082
01:09:16,892 --> 01:09:17,688
Yes, why?
1083
01:09:17,772 --> 01:09:21,606
What a break for me! I'm a playwright.
I'm working on a play now.
1084
01:09:21,732 --> 01:09:24,963
You are? Well, well, well!
1085
01:09:25,172 --> 01:09:28,244
-Maybe I can help you with it.
-Would you? What a break!
1086
01:09:28,332 --> 01:09:30,721
I get wonderful ideas,
but I can't spell them.
1087
01:09:30,812 --> 01:09:33,167
I can spell like the dickens.
Constantinople?
1088
01:09:33,252 --> 01:09:35,812
Let's go into the kitchen.
You can tell me all about it.
1089
01:09:35,932 --> 01:09:37,843
Couldn't you whip up a sandwich?
1090
01:09:37,932 --> 01:09:41,163
I hope you don't mind
eating in the kitchen, Officer O'Hara.
1091
01:09:41,292 --> 01:09:43,169
And where else would you eat?
1092
01:09:44,332 --> 01:09:45,811
See you in a moment.
1093
01:09:47,692 --> 01:09:49,205
This is your last chance.
1094
01:09:49,292 --> 01:09:51,852
I'll keep O'Hara busy
to give you a chance to get out.
1095
01:09:51,932 --> 01:09:54,321
All three of you:
you, Dr. Einstein and Spenalzo.
1096
01:09:54,412 --> 01:09:58,690
If you don't leave here, I'll introduce
Officer O'Hara to Mr. Spenalzo.
1097
01:09:58,772 --> 01:10:00,205
My play takes place in--
1098
01:10:00,292 --> 01:10:02,760
I'll be right with you, O'Hara.
Right with you.
1099
01:10:03,932 --> 01:10:05,604
Just give me one moment.
1100
01:10:06,412 --> 01:10:08,846
Now get going! All three of you.
1101
01:10:18,372 --> 01:10:21,569
This affair between my brother and myself
has got to be settled.
1102
01:10:21,652 --> 01:10:25,327
But we've got trouble enough as it is.
Come, let's go.
1103
01:10:25,532 --> 01:10:28,524
We're not going.
We're sleeping right here in this house.
1104
01:10:28,612 --> 01:10:32,491
What? With a cop in the kitchen
and Spenalzo in the window seat?
1105
01:10:32,692 --> 01:10:36,241
That's all he's got on us. We'll take
Spenalzo and dump him in the bay.
1106
01:10:36,332 --> 01:10:39,722
After that, we're coming back here.
Then if he tries to interfere--
1107
01:10:39,812 --> 01:10:41,564
No, no, Johnny. No, please.
1108
01:10:41,652 --> 01:10:44,689
We've got a wonderful setup here.
We can make a fortune.
1109
01:10:44,892 --> 01:10:49,283
Two old ladies as a front.
Only Mortimer stands in our way.
1110
01:10:49,492 --> 01:10:51,801
I never did like Mortimer.
1111
01:10:51,972 --> 01:10:54,122
Please, take it easy. Please!
1112
01:10:54,332 --> 01:10:56,368
Doctor, you know
when I make up my mind--
1113
01:10:56,492 --> 01:10:59,131
When you make up your mind,
you lose your head.
1114
01:10:59,332 --> 01:11:02,449
Look, Brooklyn ain't a good setup for you.
1115
01:11:03,532 --> 01:11:05,921
Okay, Johnny. Okay!
1116
01:11:07,452 --> 01:11:10,808
Take the instruments and hide them
in the cellar. Move fast.
1117
01:11:13,132 --> 01:11:16,204
-You don't know what goes on in Brooklyn.
-I don't know.
1118
01:11:16,332 --> 01:11:19,051
-My mother was an actress.
-Legitimate?
1119
01:11:19,132 --> 01:11:20,770
Of course. She was my mother.
1120
01:11:20,852 --> 01:11:22,888
-Excuse me.
-Peaches La Tour was her name.
1121
01:11:24,532 --> 01:11:26,329
-Come quick!
-What's the matter?
1122
01:11:26,412 --> 01:11:28,528
-You know that hole in the cellar?
-Yes.
1123
01:11:28,612 --> 01:11:31,001
Well, we got an ace in the hole.
1124
01:11:32,852 --> 01:11:35,650
It's no fly-by-night idea.
I worked on it for 12 years.
1125
01:11:36,052 --> 01:11:38,247
Well, rehash it. I'll be back in a minute.
1126
01:11:38,332 --> 01:11:39,970
-Swell.
-I like the first act.
1127
01:11:40,052 --> 01:11:41,929
I didn't tell you the first--
1128
01:11:49,212 --> 01:11:50,964
I thought I told you...
1129
01:11:55,652 --> 01:11:57,370
Yes, Mortimer.
1130
01:11:59,572 --> 01:12:02,245
What are you doing still here?
I thought I said beat it.
1131
01:12:02,332 --> 01:12:03,526
We're not going.
1132
01:12:03,612 --> 01:12:05,250
-You're not going?
-No.
1133
01:12:05,452 --> 01:12:06,851
You stay out of this.
1134
01:12:06,932 --> 01:12:09,287
All right, you asked for it.
1135
01:12:09,492 --> 01:12:11,084
-Officer O'Hara?
-Coming.
1136
01:12:11,932 --> 01:12:14,321
If you tell O'Hara
what's in the window seat...
1137
01:12:14,412 --> 01:12:16,403
I�ll tell him what's in the cellar.
1138
01:12:16,492 --> 01:12:17,447
Cellar?
1139
01:12:17,732 --> 01:12:21,327
There's an elderly gentleman down there
who seems to be very dead.
1140
01:12:22,852 --> 01:12:25,446
-What were you doing there?
-What's he doing there?
1141
01:12:25,532 --> 01:12:27,807
Now what are you going to tell O'Hara?
1142
01:12:28,132 --> 01:12:31,363
Your aunts want to hear the rest.
Shall I bring them in here?
1143
01:12:31,492 --> 01:12:34,052
You can't do that now.
You'd better ring in.
1144
01:12:34,252 --> 01:12:36,925
The heck with ringing in!
I want to tell you the plot.
1145
01:12:37,012 --> 01:12:39,367
You can't tell me
in front of those two fellas.
1146
01:12:39,452 --> 01:12:40,487
Lowbrows, huh?
1147
01:12:40,612 --> 01:12:43,922
Let's go where we can be alone.
I'll meet you there later.
1148
01:12:44,052 --> 01:12:46,327
How about the backroom at Kelly's?
1149
01:12:46,452 --> 01:12:49,444
Fine place. Bohemian atmosphere.
Genius at work.
1150
01:12:49,532 --> 01:12:51,443
You ring in and I'll meet you at Kelly's.
1151
01:12:51,572 --> 01:12:53,767
Why don't you both go down in the cellar?
1152
01:12:53,852 --> 01:12:55,683
That's all right with me.
1153
01:12:55,812 --> 01:12:58,963
There's a much more literary atmosphere
in Kelly's, I assure you.
1154
01:12:59,052 --> 01:13:00,326
This opening will kill you.
1155
01:13:00,412 --> 01:13:02,528
I'm waiting to be born and the doctor--
1156
01:13:02,612 --> 01:13:03,761
The doctor!
1157
01:13:03,892 --> 01:13:06,326
Look, you ring in and I'll see you later.
1158
01:13:06,452 --> 01:13:09,330
You won't stand me up, will you?
This is a great play.
1159
01:13:09,412 --> 01:13:11,403
-I'll see you down there.
-Can't wait!
1160
01:13:11,492 --> 01:13:12,686
Doctor, doctor.
1161
01:13:12,852 --> 01:13:15,207
Where are those papers? There they are.
1162
01:13:16,652 --> 01:13:20,327
You're smug, aren't you? You think
you've got it over me. You haven't.
1163
01:13:20,532 --> 01:13:24,366
You think I'm afraid to tell about Spenalzo
because of Hoskins. Well, I'm not!
1164
01:13:24,452 --> 01:13:25,805
The moment I get Spenalzo...
1165
01:13:25,892 --> 01:13:29,123
The moment the doctor signs,
I don't care who knows about Hoskins.
1166
01:13:29,212 --> 01:13:32,488
And you better feel the same way
about Spenalzo. Yes, Spenalzo!
1167
01:13:32,572 --> 01:13:35,370
-Where are you going?
-To the doctor's. Where do you...
1168
01:13:35,452 --> 01:13:38,205
When I come back,
I expect to find you gone. Wait for me!
1169
01:13:38,892 --> 01:13:40,769
We'll wait for him.
1170
01:13:41,772 --> 01:13:43,364
Did he look guilty!
1171
01:13:44,052 --> 01:13:47,203
Well, Martha,
I think we can start the services now.
1172
01:13:48,772 --> 01:13:50,364
We thought we heard you leave.
1173
01:13:50,452 --> 01:13:53,410
Perish the thought, dear aunties.
That was just Mortimer.
1174
01:13:53,492 --> 01:13:55,323
And speaking of services...
1175
01:13:55,452 --> 01:13:59,684
will you make us some coffee
while we take Spenalzo down to the cellar?
1176
01:14:00,332 --> 01:14:02,892
No, Jonathan.
You've got to take him with you!
1177
01:14:03,012 --> 01:14:06,209
There's a friend of Mortimer's downstairs
waiting for him.
1178
01:14:06,332 --> 01:14:09,483
-A friend of Mortimer's?
-Take his feet, Doctor.
1179
01:14:09,972 --> 01:14:12,691
Mr. Spenalzo and he
will get along fine together.
1180
01:14:12,772 --> 01:14:14,205
They're both dead.
1181
01:14:15,052 --> 01:14:16,724
He must mean Mr. Hoskins.
1182
01:14:16,852 --> 01:14:18,331
Mr. Hoskins?
1183
01:14:23,292 --> 01:14:25,328
You know about what's down there?
1184
01:14:25,452 --> 01:14:28,683
Of course we do.
And he's no friend of Mortimer's.
1185
01:14:28,812 --> 01:14:31,406
-He's one of our gentlemen.
-Your gentlemen?
1186
01:14:31,612 --> 01:14:35,321
Yes. And we won't have
any strangers buried in our cellar.
1187
01:14:35,492 --> 01:14:38,484
-But Mr. Hoskins--
-Mr. Hoskins is no stranger.
1188
01:14:38,612 --> 01:14:41,046
Besides, there's no room for Mr. Spenalzo.
1189
01:14:41,132 --> 01:14:42,963
The cellar's crowded already.
1190
01:14:43,052 --> 01:14:44,485
Crowded? With what?
1191
01:14:44,612 --> 01:14:47,206
There are 12 graves down there now.
1192
01:14:53,212 --> 01:14:54,691
Twelve graves.
1193
01:14:54,772 --> 01:14:57,923
That leaves very little room
and we're going to need it.
1194
01:14:58,252 --> 01:15:00,846
You mean, you and Aunt Martha
have murdered 12--
1195
01:15:00,972 --> 01:15:04,089
Murdered? Certainly not.
It's one of our charities.
1196
01:15:04,172 --> 01:15:06,891
Why, what we've been doing is a mercy.
1197
01:15:07,012 --> 01:15:11,164
So you just take your Mr. Spenalzo
out of here.
1198
01:15:15,892 --> 01:15:17,928
You've done all that...
1199
01:15:18,412 --> 01:15:22,246
right here in this house
and buried them in the cellar?
1200
01:15:23,612 --> 01:15:26,046
That's wonderful, Johnny!
1201
01:15:26,332 --> 01:15:28,562
We've been chased all over the world...
1202
01:15:28,652 --> 01:15:32,611
and they stay right here in Brooklyn,
and they do just as good as you do.
1203
01:15:32,732 --> 01:15:33,767
What?
1204
01:15:35,132 --> 01:15:37,282
You got 12, they got 12.
1205
01:15:37,772 --> 01:15:38,887
I've got 13.
1206
01:15:39,092 --> 01:15:42,289
-No, Johnny, 12. Don't brag.
-Thirteen.
1207
01:15:42,532 --> 01:15:45,968
There's Mr. Spenalzo.
Then the first one in London.
1208
01:15:46,172 --> 01:15:48,970
Two in Johannesburg, one in Sydney,
one in Melbourne...
1209
01:15:49,052 --> 01:15:51,691
two in San Francisco,
one in Phoenix, Arizona.
1210
01:15:51,772 --> 01:15:52,761
Phoenix?
1211
01:15:53,012 --> 01:15:55,401
-The filling station.
-Filling...
1212
01:15:55,532 --> 01:15:58,365
Three in Chicago and one in South Bend.
1213
01:15:58,572 --> 01:15:59,846
That makes 13.
1214
01:15:59,932 --> 01:16:03,242
You cannot count the one in South Bend.
He died of pneumonia.
1215
01:16:03,332 --> 01:16:06,165
He wouldn't have died of pneumonia
if I hadn't shot him.
1216
01:16:06,252 --> 01:16:08,243
You cannot count him.
1217
01:16:08,572 --> 01:16:10,927
You got 12, they got 12.
1218
01:16:11,052 --> 01:16:14,362
The old ladies is just as good as you are.
1219
01:16:17,132 --> 01:16:19,123
They are, are they?
1220
01:16:20,172 --> 01:16:22,606
Well, that's easily taken care of.
1221
01:16:22,812 --> 01:16:25,246
All I need is one more.
1222
01:16:25,452 --> 01:16:28,205
That's all. Just one more.
1223
01:16:29,492 --> 01:16:32,962
And I've a pretty good idea who it is.
1224
01:16:33,572 --> 01:16:36,689
I'm a lucky man to have caught you
at home, Dr. Gilchrist.
1225
01:16:36,772 --> 01:16:38,444
This is most irregular.
1226
01:16:38,572 --> 01:16:42,167
I'm sorry to have dragged you out of bed,
but only you can help me.
1227
01:16:42,252 --> 01:16:45,801
I know Teddy blows bugles,
but I can't commit a man just on that.
1228
01:16:45,932 --> 01:16:47,285
If you'd talk with him...
1229
01:16:47,372 --> 01:16:50,170
I�m sure you'd be convinced.
Here's the house l--
1230
01:16:52,652 --> 01:16:54,404
-There goes Hoskins.
-Who?
1231
01:16:54,532 --> 01:16:56,409
What? Did I say...
1232
01:16:58,412 --> 01:16:59,845
-You better wait.
-Here?
1233
01:16:59,932 --> 01:17:01,160
I'll bring Teddy out.
1234
01:17:01,252 --> 01:17:04,130
I wouldn't want to alarm the old ladies,
seeing a doctor.
1235
01:17:04,212 --> 01:17:06,362
-You wait here.
-In the cemetery?
1236
01:17:06,572 --> 01:17:07,766
It's Halloween.
1237
01:17:07,852 --> 01:17:10,127
The pixies won't be out till after midnight.
1238
01:17:10,212 --> 01:17:13,887
Make yourself comfortable.
Pull up a tombstone. I'll be right back.
1239
01:17:14,412 --> 01:17:15,970
-Hey, $22.50!
-What?
1240
01:17:16,092 --> 01:17:17,081
$22.50!
1241
01:17:17,212 --> 01:17:19,407
Oh, yes, looks good on you!
1242
01:17:20,052 --> 01:17:21,804
Not the suit, the meter!
1243
01:17:23,172 --> 01:17:25,970
"Looks good on me." $22.50.
1244
01:17:29,892 --> 01:17:32,964
-Did you give him a 21-gun salute?
-Yes, with a Maxim silencer.
1245
01:17:33,052 --> 01:17:35,088
Five more bucks and you'll own it.
1246
01:17:35,172 --> 01:17:37,367
No, thanks. It wouldn't fit me.
1247
01:17:39,132 --> 01:17:42,044
-Mr. President, may I present--
-Dr. Livingstone!
1248
01:17:42,132 --> 01:17:45,169
-Livingstone?
-That's what he presumes.
1249
01:17:45,292 --> 01:17:48,011
The doctor would like
to have a few words with you.
1250
01:17:48,092 --> 01:17:50,970
Certainly. Welcome to Washington.
1251
01:17:51,132 --> 01:17:53,885
Arlington is beautiful
at this time of year, is it not?
1252
01:17:53,972 --> 01:17:55,325
Yes, indeed.
1253
01:18:00,412 --> 01:18:02,687
Well now, that's that.
1254
01:18:02,892 --> 01:18:04,883
It gives me a chance to rest.
1255
01:18:08,612 --> 01:18:09,931
So far, so good.
1256
01:18:12,652 --> 01:18:13,926
Not so good.
1257
01:18:19,812 --> 01:18:21,723
Do you or do you not love me?
1258
01:18:23,532 --> 01:18:27,047
How can you say such a thing?
Darling, of course I love you.
1259
01:18:27,132 --> 01:18:28,804
-Do you?
-Yes, darling.
1260
01:18:28,932 --> 01:18:32,288
Then why have you been treating me
the way you have?
1261
01:18:35,212 --> 01:18:39,046
Darling, I love you so much,
I can't go through with our marriage.
1262
01:18:41,332 --> 01:18:42,890
Have you suddenly gone crazy?
1263
01:18:42,972 --> 01:18:45,691
I don't think so,
but it's only a matter of time.
1264
01:18:45,772 --> 01:18:49,287
Darling, would you want to have children
with three heads?
1265
01:18:49,372 --> 01:18:53,251
You wouldn't want to set up housekeeping
in a padded cell.
1266
01:18:53,412 --> 01:18:56,449
-What are you talking about?
-Well, I don't quite know.
1267
01:18:56,652 --> 01:18:59,962
I probably should have told you this before,
but you see...
1268
01:19:00,052 --> 01:19:03,203
well, insanity runs in my family.
1269
01:19:04,292 --> 01:19:06,283
It practically gallops.
1270
01:19:08,092 --> 01:19:10,606
Just because Teddy's strange,
that doesn't mean--
1271
01:19:10,692 --> 01:19:13,126
No, darling. It's way back before Teddy.
1272
01:19:13,332 --> 01:19:17,007
This goes back to the first Brewster
who came over on the Mayflower.
1273
01:19:17,292 --> 01:19:21,126
You know how in those days
the Indians used to scalp the settlers?
1274
01:19:21,572 --> 01:19:23,608
He used to scalp the Indians.
1275
01:19:24,452 --> 01:19:26,204
Darling, that's ancient history.
1276
01:19:26,292 --> 01:19:29,762
Doctor, I'll run for a third term,
but I won't be elected.
1277
01:19:29,852 --> 01:19:32,685
That'll mean the last of the Roosevelts
in the White House.
1278
01:19:32,772 --> 01:19:36,128
-That's what you think.
-Of course, if the country insists...
1279
01:19:36,212 --> 01:19:38,407
Darling, all this doesn't prove a thing.
1280
01:19:38,492 --> 01:19:41,370
Look at your aunts.
They're Brewsters, aren't they?
1281
01:19:41,452 --> 01:19:44,125
They're the sweetest,
sanest people I've ever known.
1282
01:19:46,532 --> 01:19:49,330
Well, even they have their peculiarities.
1283
01:19:49,412 --> 01:19:52,290
What of it? So your family's crazy.
So you're crazy.
1284
01:19:52,372 --> 01:19:54,169
That's the way I love you.
1285
01:19:54,532 --> 01:19:56,841
I'm crazy too, but kiss me.
1286
01:19:57,172 --> 01:19:58,730
No, no. I...
1287
01:20:02,292 --> 01:20:05,568
Goodbye, Ambassador.
I've enjoyed this little talk very much.
1288
01:20:05,652 --> 01:20:09,042
Anytime you're in Washington,
drop in to see me at the White House.
1289
01:20:14,812 --> 01:20:17,485
-Those papers.
-Go away. Papers!
1290
01:20:17,652 --> 01:20:20,086
-I'll commit him to any place.
-You will?
1291
01:20:20,172 --> 01:20:22,402
I've just been appointed
Ambassador to Bolivia!
1292
01:20:22,492 --> 01:20:25,086
You see? Didn't I tell you?
1293
01:20:25,172 --> 01:20:28,244
Don't worry about that.
Just go on signing the papers.
1294
01:20:29,292 --> 01:20:30,361
Thank you.
1295
01:20:32,532 --> 01:20:36,207
All right! We'll find out
whose house this is!
1296
01:20:36,332 --> 01:20:38,926
I'm warning you, you better stop it.
1297
01:20:39,012 --> 01:20:42,448
There's no use doing what you're doing.
It'll just have to be undone.
1298
01:20:42,532 --> 01:20:44,170
Aunt Abby, go to bed!
1299
01:20:44,292 --> 01:20:48,205
It's a terrible thing to do to bury
a good Methodist with a foreigner.
1300
01:20:48,292 --> 01:20:49,691
Where have you been?
1301
01:20:49,772 --> 01:20:52,332
Getting some papers signed.
Is Teddy in his room?
1302
01:20:52,412 --> 01:20:54,130
What is the matter with you?
1303
01:20:54,212 --> 01:20:57,124
Running around getting papers signed
at a time like this.
1304
01:20:57,212 --> 01:20:59,328
Martha and I are going for the police.
1305
01:20:59,412 --> 01:21:00,367
Police!
1306
01:21:01,092 --> 01:21:02,241
Wait!
1307
01:21:02,332 --> 01:21:04,641
-You can't go for the police.
-Oh, no?
1308
01:21:04,772 --> 01:21:06,444
You know what Jonathan's doing?
1309
01:21:06,532 --> 01:21:09,410
He's putting Mr. Hoskins
and Mr. Spenalzo in together.
1310
01:21:09,492 --> 01:21:10,720
All right, let him.
1311
01:21:10,812 --> 01:21:13,451
This is all fixed up nice now.
1312
01:21:13,652 --> 01:21:16,007
Nice and smooth like a lake.
1313
01:21:16,172 --> 01:21:20,165
The President will be very proud
of his Panama Canal.
1314
01:21:22,132 --> 01:21:24,088
Bed feels good already.
1315
01:21:24,172 --> 01:21:27,721
You know, we didn't get any sleep
for 48 hours.
1316
01:21:27,852 --> 01:21:29,570
You're forgetting, Doctor.
1317
01:21:30,812 --> 01:21:34,088
If Jonathan and Mr. Spenalzo
aren't out this house before morning...
1318
01:21:34,172 --> 01:21:35,924
we're going for the police.
1319
01:21:36,012 --> 01:21:37,650
I'll get them out, I promise!
1320
01:21:37,732 --> 01:21:41,645
-Then you get the wedding silver.
-Remember, no police! No police!
1321
01:21:42,132 --> 01:21:44,043
Look, go to bed, will you?
1322
01:21:44,172 --> 01:21:47,642
Get out of those clothes!
You look like a double blackout.
1323
01:21:47,812 --> 01:21:50,167
My brother, Mortimer.
1324
01:21:50,452 --> 01:21:52,170
I just heard him upstairs.
1325
01:21:52,812 --> 01:21:55,246
No! I am tired.
1326
01:21:55,332 --> 01:21:59,610
You forget, I got to operate
on your face tomorrow.
1327
01:21:59,812 --> 01:22:02,610
You are going to operate tomorrow,
Doctor.
1328
01:22:02,772 --> 01:22:05,445
But tonight we are taking care
of Mortimer.
1329
01:22:05,572 --> 01:22:08,609
But Johnny, not tonight! I'm sleepy.
1330
01:22:08,692 --> 01:22:11,126
We'll do it tomorrow. Or the next day.
1331
01:22:11,492 --> 01:22:13,403
Look at me, Doctor.
1332
01:22:14,252 --> 01:22:17,961
You can see that it's got to be done,
can't you?
1333
01:22:18,212 --> 01:22:21,682
Yeah, I know that look.
1334
01:22:21,892 --> 01:22:25,168
It's a little late to dissolve our partnership.
1335
01:22:25,372 --> 01:22:27,761
Okay, Johnny. Okay, we'll do it.
1336
01:22:27,892 --> 01:22:31,089
But the quick way, huh?
The quick twist like in London.
1337
01:22:31,292 --> 01:22:35,251
No, Doctor. I think this calls
for something special.
1338
01:22:35,932 --> 01:22:39,322
I think, perhaps, the Melbourne method.
1339
01:22:39,492 --> 01:22:42,165
Not the Melbourne method, please!
1340
01:22:42,292 --> 01:22:43,964
Two hours!
1341
01:22:44,132 --> 01:22:46,487
And then when it was all over, what?
1342
01:22:46,692 --> 01:22:50,446
The fellow in London was just as dead
as the fellow in Melbourne.
1343
01:22:52,172 --> 01:22:53,764
Don't do that, Mr. President.
1344
01:22:53,852 --> 01:22:56,730
But I cannot sign anything
without consulting my Cabinet.
1345
01:22:56,812 --> 01:22:58,040
This must be secret.
1346
01:22:58,132 --> 01:23:00,771
A secret proclamation? How unusual.
1347
01:23:00,972 --> 01:23:03,805
Yes, it's the only way
we can outsmart the other fellow.
1348
01:23:03,892 --> 01:23:06,122
-Who's the other fellow?
-That's the secret.
1349
01:23:06,212 --> 01:23:07,964
Oh, I see!
1350
01:23:08,492 --> 01:23:09,720
Very clever.
1351
01:23:10,052 --> 01:23:12,566
A secret proclamation
has to be signed in secret.
1352
01:23:12,652 --> 01:23:15,610
-Of course, Mr. President.
-I'll put on my signing clothes.
1353
01:23:15,692 --> 01:23:17,808
You already have them on, Mr. President.
1354
01:23:17,892 --> 01:23:20,122
So I have. Wait here.
1355
01:23:23,452 --> 01:23:25,408
Hey, Mr. Brewster.
1356
01:23:25,532 --> 01:23:27,045
What is it, mice?
1357
01:23:30,132 --> 01:23:33,044
-You get out of this house.
-Can't you see I'm busy?
1358
01:23:41,692 --> 01:23:43,364
Thank you, Mr. President.
1359
01:23:43,932 --> 01:23:46,571
What a load off my mind.
Boy, could I use a drink!
1360
01:23:46,652 --> 01:23:50,201
-Get out of here, will you, please?
-What? Speak up. I can't hear you.
1361
01:23:50,292 --> 01:23:52,089
Johnny's in a bad mood. Get out!
1362
01:23:52,172 --> 01:23:55,528
-Stop underplaying. I can't hear you.
-Please listen to me. Get out.
1363
01:23:55,612 --> 01:23:59,207
Stop all this! What are you doing?
Look, Doc-- Are you really a doctor?
1364
01:23:59,292 --> 01:24:01,089
Yes, Heidelberg, 1919.
1365
01:24:01,212 --> 01:24:03,772
Heidelberg?
How'd you hook up with Jonathan?
1366
01:24:03,892 --> 01:24:07,771
I tell you later about that, but you go now.
Please listen to me.
1367
01:24:08,732 --> 01:24:10,051
Stop it, Doctor!
1368
01:24:10,132 --> 01:24:13,010
You get out of here!
Look, when Johnny's in that mood...
1369
01:24:13,092 --> 01:24:15,287
he's a madman. He's a maniac!
1370
01:24:15,492 --> 01:24:18,450
And then things happen. Horrible things.
1371
01:24:18,532 --> 01:24:20,727
-Get out of here!
-Will you stop it?
1372
01:24:20,812 --> 01:24:23,406
Stop telling me about Jonathan,
I'll take care of him.
1373
01:24:23,492 --> 01:24:26,290
You take care of yourself.
Get going, little fellow.
1374
01:24:26,372 --> 01:24:28,408
-What's that? Wait.
-My schnapps.
1375
01:24:28,492 --> 01:24:30,960
-I could use that.
-That's mine.
1376
01:24:32,132 --> 01:24:34,202
Please. Only for dramatic critics.
1377
01:24:34,292 --> 01:24:37,011
You beat it before things start popping
around here.
1378
01:24:37,092 --> 01:24:39,162
But, look, Mr. Brewster, please.
1379
01:24:39,252 --> 01:24:40,810
You've just been married.
1380
01:24:40,892 --> 01:24:44,282
You have a nice little wife waiting for you.
Please go now.
1381
01:24:44,532 --> 01:24:45,726
Please.
1382
01:24:49,772 --> 01:24:52,445
Don't those plays you see all the time
teach you anything?
1383
01:24:52,732 --> 01:24:56,281
Don't get me on the subject of plays!
I've got to wait for Mr. Witherspoon.
1384
01:24:56,372 --> 01:24:58,806
At least people in plays
act like they got sense.
1385
01:24:58,892 --> 01:25:01,690
Did anybody in a play
ever act like they got intelligence?
1386
01:25:01,772 --> 01:25:04,923
-How can somebody be so stupid?
-You ought to have my job.
1387
01:25:05,052 --> 01:25:09,011
When you get out of prison, have yourself
wheeled to the Garrick Theater.
1388
01:25:09,332 --> 01:25:12,642
There's a play that's so bad,
it'll still be running when you get out.
1389
01:25:12,732 --> 01:25:14,529
There's a man... Now listen to this.
1390
01:25:14,612 --> 01:25:18,048
He knows he's in the house with murderers
and should know he's in danger.
1391
01:25:18,132 --> 01:25:20,521
He's even been warned to get out.
And does he go?
1392
01:25:20,612 --> 01:25:22,330
No, he doesn't. He stays!
1393
01:25:22,612 --> 01:25:27,003
This fellow doesn't even have sense
to be scared or to be on his guard.
1394
01:25:27,212 --> 01:25:29,168
The murderer even invites him to sit down.
1395
01:25:29,252 --> 01:25:31,163
-What do you think he does?
-I don't know.
1396
01:25:31,252 --> 01:25:32,890
He sits down!
1397
01:25:32,972 --> 01:25:36,089
He deliberately pulls up a chair
and he sits down in it.
1398
01:25:36,212 --> 01:25:37,645
Isn't that great?
1399
01:25:38,492 --> 01:25:41,802
So there he is,
all waiting to be trussed up and gagged.
1400
01:25:42,572 --> 01:25:46,360
What do you think they tied him up with?
The curtain cord.
1401
01:25:47,452 --> 01:25:48,726
Curtain cord?
1402
01:25:49,212 --> 01:25:51,089
But didn't he see him get it?
1403
01:25:51,172 --> 01:25:54,244
No. The silly chump sits down
with his back toward the murderer.
1404
01:25:54,332 --> 01:25:57,130
All he has to do is look around,
but does he? No!
1405
01:25:58,492 --> 01:26:01,928
See, brother Heidelberg,
in a play or even in a movie...
1406
01:26:02,172 --> 01:26:05,721
a fellow never sees or hears anything.
That's right.
1407
01:26:05,812 --> 01:26:07,245
But what does he do?
1408
01:26:07,492 --> 01:26:11,121
The big chump sits there.
This fellow's supposed to be bright.
1409
01:26:11,212 --> 01:26:14,363
Now get a load of this.
Look at the attitude.
1410
01:26:14,692 --> 01:26:18,321
Large as life! He sits there
waiting to be tied up and gagged.
1411
01:26:18,892 --> 01:26:20,211
The big dope!
1412
01:26:28,972 --> 01:26:32,681
You were right about that fellow.
He wasn't very bright.
1413
01:26:33,892 --> 01:26:35,325
Yes, Mortimer.
1414
01:26:36,372 --> 01:26:38,886
I've been away for 20 years.
1415
01:26:39,172 --> 01:26:42,323
But never, my dear brother,
were you out of my mind.
1416
01:26:44,692 --> 01:26:47,923
In Melbourne one night, I dreamt of you.
1417
01:27:09,772 --> 01:27:13,481
The more you struggle
the more you strangle yourself.
1418
01:27:16,172 --> 01:27:18,845
Later on, you may consider that a blessing.
1419
01:27:51,092 --> 01:27:52,286
Now, Doctor...
1420
01:27:54,092 --> 01:27:55,605
we go to work.
1421
01:27:55,692 --> 01:27:58,047
Johnny, for me, the quick way. Please.
1422
01:27:59,092 --> 01:28:01,845
-This must be an artistic achievement.
-Please.
1423
01:28:02,052 --> 01:28:05,601
After all, we're performing
before a very distinguished critic.
1424
01:28:06,452 --> 01:28:07,487
Please!
1425
01:28:08,252 --> 01:28:11,562
All right. Let's get it over with.
1426
01:28:12,452 --> 01:28:15,842
But I cannot see this without the drink.
1427
01:28:16,892 --> 01:28:18,291
Pull yourself together.
1428
01:28:18,372 --> 01:28:22,160
But I can't pull myself together
without a drink.
1429
01:28:22,252 --> 01:28:25,085
You remember when we came in,
there was some wine.
1430
01:28:25,172 --> 01:28:28,005
And then they took it.
Where did they put it?
1431
01:28:29,412 --> 01:28:31,323
I found some wine.
1432
01:28:32,772 --> 01:28:34,763
Here, I'll split it with you.
1433
01:28:34,852 --> 01:28:37,446
We both have a drink before we operate.
1434
01:28:37,692 --> 01:28:42,083
I am so happy that we don't have
to operate without a drink.
1435
01:28:48,612 --> 01:28:50,011
One moment, please.
1436
01:28:50,852 --> 01:28:52,649
Where are your manners?
1437
01:28:55,292 --> 01:28:56,771
Yes, Mortimer.
1438
01:28:57,012 --> 01:29:00,891
I realize now that it was you
who brought me back to Brooklyn.
1439
01:29:00,972 --> 01:29:02,371
We drink to you.
1440
01:29:03,692 --> 01:29:05,603
To my dear, dead brother.
1441
01:29:22,692 --> 01:29:23,727
That idiot!
1442
01:29:23,812 --> 01:29:27,327
-He goes next. That's all. He goes next!
-Not Teddy! Please!
1443
01:29:27,452 --> 01:29:29,966
-We'll get to him later.
-You won't at all!
1444
01:29:30,132 --> 01:29:32,009
We have to work fast. The quick way.
1445
01:29:32,092 --> 01:29:33,605
The quick way, yes!
1446
01:29:33,692 --> 01:29:36,923
If it has to be, then the quick way.
I'll help you.
1447
01:29:51,092 --> 01:29:53,208
The colonel has to quit blowing that horn.
1448
01:29:53,292 --> 01:29:56,250
It's all right. We're taking
the bugle away from him.
1449
01:29:56,332 --> 01:29:59,290
I'd better talk to him myself.
Where's the lights?
1450
01:30:05,492 --> 01:30:07,164
You stood me up!
1451
01:30:07,732 --> 01:30:10,644
I've been waiting for you
for over an hour at Kelly's.
1452
01:30:11,612 --> 01:30:13,568
-What happened to him?
-Nothing.
1453
01:30:13,732 --> 01:30:18,726
He was explaining a play he saw and
that's what happened to a man in the play.
1454
01:30:19,412 --> 01:30:20,322
I see.
1455
01:30:20,852 --> 01:30:22,922
Did that really happen in a play you saw?
1456
01:30:23,292 --> 01:30:25,601
How do you like that?
You can't trust nobody.
1457
01:30:25,692 --> 01:30:28,126
They practically stole that from my play.
1458
01:30:28,452 --> 01:30:32,161
In the second act, just--
Maybe I'd better start at the beginning.
1459
01:30:34,132 --> 01:30:35,485
Yeah, sure.
1460
01:30:41,092 --> 01:30:43,560
You've got to hear the plot!
1461
01:30:46,692 --> 01:30:50,401
My mother's making up.
Like a flash, out of a clear sky...
1462
01:30:50,532 --> 01:30:53,126
the door opens and a man
with a moustache comes in.
1463
01:30:53,212 --> 01:30:56,841
He says, "Miss Peaches La Tour,
will you marry me?"
1464
01:30:57,692 --> 01:31:02,402
That's the first scene. My mother doesn't
say they're married. That's the surprise!
1465
01:31:02,532 --> 01:31:03,806
What a kick!
1466
01:31:04,252 --> 01:31:07,722
Twenty-five years pass.
Well, in the meantime, there's me.
1467
01:31:07,892 --> 01:31:11,248
Growing into a magnificent specimen.
So what do I do?
1468
01:31:11,332 --> 01:31:14,529
I join the police force and become
one of New York's finest.
1469
01:31:14,612 --> 01:31:18,048
I'm cleaning out a crooked laundry, see?
Little do I know it...
1470
01:31:18,172 --> 01:31:20,561
but a dope fiend with a knife is after me.
1471
01:31:20,652 --> 01:31:22,131
I'm in great danger.
1472
01:31:23,492 --> 01:31:26,484
It's getting you, ain't it?
I can see it in your eyes.
1473
01:31:27,932 --> 01:31:29,729
You ain't heard nothing yet.
1474
01:31:29,852 --> 01:31:32,924
All of a sudden, a fire breaks out.
What an effect!
1475
01:31:33,012 --> 01:31:35,321
Firemen rush in and who's leading them?
1476
01:31:35,572 --> 01:31:37,608
Mayor Fiorello La Guardia!
1477
01:31:40,292 --> 01:31:41,771
What's the matter with him?
1478
01:31:41,852 --> 01:31:44,446
-Probably your play put him to sleep.
-What?
1479
01:31:44,532 --> 01:31:48,445
-I personally like it very much.
-It's probably over his head.
1480
01:31:48,772 --> 01:31:51,650
-Where have I seen that face before?
-No, please.
1481
01:31:53,772 --> 01:31:56,684
The scene changes. It's an evolving stage.
1482
01:31:56,932 --> 01:31:59,127
I'm walking along my beat, casual-like...
1483
01:31:59,212 --> 01:32:02,761
when a guy that I'm following,
it turns out he's following me!
1484
01:32:03,092 --> 01:32:05,845
Don't let nobody in.
I figures I'll outsmart him.
1485
01:32:05,972 --> 01:32:09,282
-There's a vacant house on the corner.
-Johnny, the cops!
1486
01:32:09,372 --> 01:32:12,091
I sees the door handle turn,
so I pulls out my gun...
1487
01:32:12,172 --> 01:32:14,527
braces myself against the wall and I says:
1488
01:32:14,612 --> 01:32:15,601
"Come in! "
1489
01:32:19,572 --> 01:32:20,971
Hello, boys.
1490
01:32:21,412 --> 01:32:25,007
-What the Sam Hill's going on?
-Sarge, this is Mortimer Brewster.
1491
01:32:25,092 --> 01:32:28,289
-He's going to help me write my play.
-Do you have to tie him up?
1492
01:32:28,372 --> 01:32:32,206
Report in. Why didn't you ring in?
The whole force is out looking for you.
1493
01:32:32,292 --> 01:32:35,284
Right in the middle of the second act.
Did they send you here?
1494
01:32:35,372 --> 01:32:37,727
No, we came to warn the old ladies.
1495
01:32:37,812 --> 01:32:40,167
-The colonel blew that bugle again.
-I heard him.
1496
01:32:40,252 --> 01:32:43,085
The neighbors are phoning in.
The Lieutenant's on the warpath.
1497
01:32:43,172 --> 01:32:45,447
He says we've got
to put him away someplace.
1498
01:32:45,772 --> 01:32:47,251
Now, who the heck is this?
1499
01:32:47,332 --> 01:32:50,005
Mr. Brewster's brother.
My play put him to sleep.
1500
01:32:50,092 --> 01:32:53,004
That's the one that ran away.
So he came back.
1501
01:32:53,252 --> 01:32:54,731
Brophy. Get me Mac.
1502
01:32:54,892 --> 01:32:58,328
Have you got yourself in a mess!
You're two hours overdue at the station.
1503
01:32:58,612 --> 01:33:00,807
I better let them know that I found you.
1504
01:33:00,892 --> 01:33:02,610
It wasn't that bad, was it?
1505
01:33:03,892 --> 01:33:07,771
Tell the Lieutenant he can call off
the big manhunt. We found him.
1506
01:33:08,052 --> 01:33:10,441
At the Brewster house.
1507
01:33:10,532 --> 01:33:12,648
Shall we bring him in?
1508
01:33:12,852 --> 01:33:15,082
All right, we'll hold him right here.
1509
01:33:16,732 --> 01:33:19,200
The Lieutenant is on his way over.
1510
01:33:19,612 --> 01:33:22,126
So I've been turned in?
1511
01:33:22,692 --> 01:33:25,252
All right, you've got me.
1512
01:33:26,092 --> 01:33:30,131
I suppose you and my stool-pigeon brother
will split the reward.
1513
01:33:30,252 --> 01:33:31,367
Yes, reward!
1514
01:33:31,452 --> 01:33:33,283
Now I'll do some turning in!
1515
01:33:33,412 --> 01:33:35,004
Wait a minute, Mr. Brewster.
1516
01:33:35,092 --> 01:33:38,482
You think my aunts are sweet,
charming old ladies, don't you?
1517
01:33:38,572 --> 01:33:41,723
Well, there's 13 bodies buried in the cellar!
1518
01:33:42,212 --> 01:33:43,167
Yes, 13.
1519
01:33:43,252 --> 01:33:46,005
Be careful what you say.
Your aunts are friends of ours.
1520
01:33:46,092 --> 01:33:49,004
-I'll show them to you.
-Don't make trouble for them!
1521
01:33:49,092 --> 01:33:51,526
Never mind, Mr. Brewster.
Leave him to me.
1522
01:33:51,612 --> 01:33:53,682
-Come down to the cellar.
-Wait a minute.
1523
01:33:53,772 --> 01:33:56,525
Thirteen bodies.
I'll show you where they're buried.
1524
01:33:57,132 --> 01:33:59,566
-Go to the cellar with him.
-Yes, come to the cellar.
1525
01:33:59,652 --> 01:34:01,290
Well, look, do I have to?
1526
01:34:02,412 --> 01:34:04,642
Maybe I don't want to go down
to the cellar.
1527
01:34:04,732 --> 01:34:06,768
Go on down the cellar with him!
1528
01:34:06,852 --> 01:34:10,083
Now, please. I'll tell you
the rest of my play later.
1529
01:34:10,652 --> 01:34:13,291
-Go on down the cellar with him.
-Do I have to?
1530
01:34:13,412 --> 01:34:15,880
Look at that puss.
He looks like Boris Karloff.
1531
01:34:15,972 --> 01:34:17,166
Don't! Sarge!
1532
01:34:23,772 --> 01:34:25,091
Look out, Pat!
1533
01:34:30,132 --> 01:34:32,088
-Look out!
-He's got a gun.
1534
01:34:32,692 --> 01:34:34,967
I got him, Pat. Look out!
1535
01:34:35,332 --> 01:34:37,209
Fight. Go on and fight.
1536
01:34:41,732 --> 01:34:44,610
That's enough, that's enough.
Everybody off.
1537
01:34:47,812 --> 01:34:48,881
Pat, look out!
1538
01:34:48,972 --> 01:34:50,087
Amazing.
1539
01:34:55,692 --> 01:34:58,001
Such a fine day, too.
1540
01:34:58,092 --> 01:35:01,926
All I did was cross the bridge
and I was in Brooklyn. Amazing.
1541
01:35:07,492 --> 01:35:08,811
Don't bother me now.
1542
01:35:08,892 --> 01:35:10,848
You could use this in the third act.
1543
01:35:10,932 --> 01:35:13,400
I got something better. Let me tell you--
1544
01:35:14,052 --> 01:35:15,451
I'll see you later.
1545
01:35:18,972 --> 01:35:21,770
The papers are all signed. What do I care?
1546
01:35:22,092 --> 01:35:23,571
Go ahead, fight.
1547
01:35:29,932 --> 01:35:32,685
I'd better call and see
if Witherspoon has left.
1548
01:35:33,692 --> 01:35:34,761
Telephone.
1549
01:35:35,852 --> 01:35:37,410
I'll get every one of you!
1550
01:35:37,492 --> 01:35:40,484
I hate cops. I'll brain the first one
that comes near me!
1551
01:35:40,572 --> 01:35:43,609
A little higher, brother.
Thank you very much. That's fine.
1552
01:35:44,252 --> 01:35:45,605
Don't do that, please.
1553
01:35:45,692 --> 01:35:46,886
Get him, Pat.
1554
01:35:47,332 --> 01:35:49,971
That won't have any effect.
I've tried it before--
1555
01:35:50,052 --> 01:35:51,326
It did. Isn't that amazing?
1556
01:35:53,772 --> 01:35:56,491
Oh, dear. Wish I could relax like that.
1557
01:35:58,212 --> 01:35:59,770
-Witherspoon.
-Come in.
1558
01:36:13,692 --> 01:36:15,330
What has occurred?
1559
01:36:15,412 --> 01:36:18,006
Never mind!
Didn't I tell you I'd handle this?
1560
01:36:18,252 --> 01:36:19,480
Well, Lieutenant!
1561
01:36:19,572 --> 01:36:23,167
-We were just acting in self-defense.
-What happened? He put up a fight?
1562
01:36:23,252 --> 01:36:25,482
This isn't the one who blows the bugle.
1563
01:36:25,572 --> 01:36:30,009
-This is his brother who tried to kill O'Hara.
-All I said was he looked like Boris Karloff.
1564
01:36:30,092 --> 01:36:31,969
Boris... Turn him over.
1565
01:36:35,652 --> 01:36:38,007
Kind of think he's wanted somewhere.
1566
01:36:38,292 --> 01:36:40,760
You "kind of think
he's wanted somewhere"?
1567
01:36:41,012 --> 01:36:44,049
If you guys can't look
at the circulars we put up...
1568
01:36:44,292 --> 01:36:46,601
you can at least read
short detective stories.
1569
01:36:46,692 --> 01:36:48,683
Certainly, he's wanted. In Indiana!
1570
01:36:48,772 --> 01:36:52,082
He escaped from the prison
for criminally insane. He's a lifer.
1571
01:36:52,172 --> 01:36:53,366
That's my brother.
1572
01:36:53,452 --> 01:36:57,286
That's the way they described him.
"He looked like Karloff."
1573
01:36:57,772 --> 01:36:59,125
Why'd you knock him out?
1574
01:36:59,212 --> 01:37:02,443
He tried to get us to go to the cellar.
He says 13 bodies are there.
1575
01:37:02,532 --> 01:37:03,965
Thirteen bodies in the cellar...
1576
01:37:04,052 --> 01:37:07,044
and that don't tip you off
the guy's from a nuthouse?
1577
01:37:07,132 --> 01:37:08,281
Thanks, pal.
1578
01:37:08,412 --> 01:37:10,209
About my not ringing in, I want to--
1579
01:37:10,292 --> 01:37:12,726
Where have you been all night?
Don't tell me.
1580
01:37:12,812 --> 01:37:16,202
I was right here writing a play
with Mortimer Brewster.
1581
01:37:16,332 --> 01:37:19,051
You're going to have
a long time on that play.
1582
01:37:19,212 --> 01:37:20,645
You're suspended.
1583
01:37:20,732 --> 01:37:22,370
Now go on. Report in.
1584
01:37:22,452 --> 01:37:25,444
Bring him to and find out
where his accomplice is.
1585
01:37:25,532 --> 01:37:27,921
The guy who helped him escape.
He's wanted, too.
1586
01:37:28,012 --> 01:37:29,001
Here.
1587
01:37:29,292 --> 01:37:32,443
I've been after these guys for 48 hours.
Nothing to eat. No sleep.
1588
01:37:32,612 --> 01:37:34,489
No wonder Brooklyn's in the shape it's in.
1589
01:37:34,572 --> 01:37:37,962
With flatheads like you on the force.
Falling for a story like that!
1590
01:37:38,052 --> 01:37:40,088
Thirteen bodies buried in the cellar.
1591
01:37:40,252 --> 01:37:42,527
But there are 13 bodies in the cellar!
1592
01:37:43,492 --> 01:37:45,960
-Who are you?
-I'm President Roosevelt.
1593
01:37:47,652 --> 01:37:51,122
-What the blazes is this?
-He's the one that blows the bugle.
1594
01:37:51,412 --> 01:37:52,925
Howdy, Colonel.
1595
01:37:56,492 --> 01:37:59,848
Colonel, you've blown your last bugle.
Get this guy out of here.
1596
01:38:00,052 --> 01:38:02,327
Dear me! Another yellow-fever victim?
1597
01:38:02,772 --> 01:38:05,286
All the bodies in the cellar
are yellow-fever victims.
1598
01:38:05,372 --> 01:38:08,648
No, Colonel. This is a spy.
We caught him at the White House.
1599
01:38:08,732 --> 01:38:11,200
Take him out and bring him to.
I want to question him.
1600
01:38:11,292 --> 01:38:14,807
-Questioning of spies is my department.
-Hey, you, keep out of that.
1601
01:38:15,132 --> 01:38:19,045
You're forgetting that as President
I am also head of the Secret Service.
1602
01:38:29,012 --> 01:38:30,127
Who are you?
1603
01:38:30,652 --> 01:38:31,801
What's your name?
1604
01:38:31,892 --> 01:38:34,690
Usually, I'm Mortimer Brewster.
But I'm not myself today.
1605
01:38:34,772 --> 01:38:38,651
You're his brother. Look, no argument.
He's got to be put away.
1606
01:38:38,772 --> 01:38:43,288
No arguments, Captain. No arguments.
Just a minute, take it easy. Read this.
1607
01:38:43,372 --> 01:38:45,249
Teddy's going to go to Happy Dale tonight.
1608
01:38:45,332 --> 01:38:48,529
-I'm waiting for Mr. Witherspoon.
-As long as he's going someplace.
1609
01:38:48,612 --> 01:38:50,728
He's scaring the neighbors with that bugle.
1610
01:38:50,812 --> 01:38:54,122
And that cockeyed story
about 13 bodies being--
1611
01:39:02,412 --> 01:39:05,688
I've been without sleep for 48 hours.
I'm liable to think anything.
1612
01:39:05,772 --> 01:39:07,683
I know just how you feel.
1613
01:39:07,852 --> 01:39:10,002
There's people dumb enough
to believe that.
1614
01:39:10,092 --> 01:39:13,164
Last year there was a crazy guy,
started a murder rumour.
1615
01:39:13,292 --> 01:39:15,852
I had to dig up a half acre plot
before I could prove--
1616
01:39:15,932 --> 01:39:17,809
-What's this?
-What's the matter?
1617
01:39:17,892 --> 01:39:19,610
-These papers aren't any good.
-Why not?
1618
01:39:19,692 --> 01:39:22,160
He signed it Theodore Roosevelt!
1619
01:39:26,972 --> 01:39:30,203
-Is your taxi engaged?
-Losing dough every minute. Any offers?
1620
01:39:30,332 --> 01:39:34,325
I'm Mr. Witherspoon of Happy Dale
Sanitarium, I have come to get a Brewster.
1621
01:39:34,412 --> 01:39:37,449
I would like you to drive us back
to the sanitarium.
1622
01:39:38,692 --> 01:39:41,286
I knew this would end up in a nuthouse!
1623
01:39:42,732 --> 01:39:45,769
We like to think of it as a rest home.
1624
01:39:56,252 --> 01:39:57,367
Mr. Brewster?
1625
01:40:00,932 --> 01:40:02,684
Mr. Witherspoon is here.
1626
01:40:06,332 --> 01:40:10,120
Supposing the spy steals this document
and finds the name Roosevelt on it.
1627
01:40:10,252 --> 01:40:13,210
Think what that would mean
to the safety of the nation!
1628
01:40:13,292 --> 01:40:15,760
-No, it's chicanery.
-What is this? Come on!
1629
01:40:15,852 --> 01:40:18,969
-He's come to. He's ready to talk.
-Hold him till I get there.
1630
01:40:19,052 --> 01:40:22,567
Let me explain. The name Brewster
is code for Roosevelt.
1631
01:40:22,972 --> 01:40:25,167
-Code for Roosevelt?
-Take the name Brewster.
1632
01:40:25,252 --> 01:40:27,322
Take away the "B" and what have you got?
1633
01:40:27,412 --> 01:40:29,687
-Rooster.
-And what does a rooster do?
1634
01:40:29,772 --> 01:40:33,082
-Crows.
-It crows! Where do you hunt in Africa?
1635
01:40:33,252 --> 01:40:35,447
-On the veldt!
-There you are! "Crowsveldt."
1636
01:40:35,532 --> 01:40:38,729
Ingenious! My compliments
to the boys in the code department.
1637
01:40:38,812 --> 01:40:40,882
That's all right! Do that again for me.
1638
01:40:40,972 --> 01:40:43,486
Never mind! Give me that pen.
1639
01:40:44,252 --> 01:40:45,765
This is fun.
1640
01:40:46,132 --> 01:40:48,441
Now, all I got to get is Witherspoon.
1641
01:40:55,012 --> 01:40:56,764
I'm so glad to see you.
1642
01:40:58,692 --> 01:41:00,489
You will take good care of Teddy?
1643
01:41:00,572 --> 01:41:02,847
-Best of care of him.
-That's fine.
1644
01:41:02,972 --> 01:41:04,724
And no wagon when he leaves.
1645
01:41:04,812 --> 01:41:06,848
Why? To take him away? Never, never.
1646
01:41:06,932 --> 01:41:09,651
Taxicabs. We always...
I have one waiting now.
1647
01:41:09,772 --> 01:41:11,285
It means a great deal to me.
1648
01:41:11,372 --> 01:41:14,330
You will personally see
that Teddy's happy at Happy Dale?
1649
01:41:14,412 --> 01:41:16,767
-He'll be very happy at Happy Dale.
-That's good.
1650
01:41:16,852 --> 01:41:19,844
You know, I sometimes envy
some of our patients, secretly.
1651
01:41:19,932 --> 01:41:23,049
You do? It must be a nice place.
I've never been there.
1652
01:41:23,132 --> 01:41:25,043
You never can tell.
1653
01:41:25,412 --> 01:41:28,290
This is a particularly happy moment
for me tonight.
1654
01:41:28,372 --> 01:41:32,160
-I've never met a dramatic critic before.
-The woods are full of them.
1655
01:41:32,252 --> 01:41:35,688
I have here something that will explain
what we're trying to do.
1656
01:41:35,772 --> 01:41:39,162
-A pamphlet about Happy Dale?
-No, it's a play.
1657
01:41:39,292 --> 01:41:40,964
Something I've been working on.
1658
01:41:41,052 --> 01:41:44,647
It's a dramatization of many incidents
that have happened at Happy Dale.
1659
01:41:44,732 --> 01:41:46,324
Captain! Captain!
1660
01:41:47,612 --> 01:41:51,969
I want you to read this carefully.
I want you to be just as harsh as you like.
1661
01:41:52,052 --> 01:41:53,405
I shan't mind, you know--
1662
01:41:53,492 --> 01:41:55,801
Captain, this is Mr. Witherspoon.
1663
01:41:58,332 --> 01:42:00,209
He'll be very happy at Happy Dale.
1664
01:42:00,292 --> 01:42:02,203
-Come, my boy.
-What is this?
1665
01:42:03,692 --> 01:42:06,923
No, you got it wrong.
This is Captain Rooney.
1666
01:42:07,132 --> 01:42:08,724
The police?
1667
01:42:10,092 --> 01:42:14,005
I'm sure! Here are the papers, all signed.
Now you can take him away.
1668
01:42:14,092 --> 01:42:16,208
I'll be in my office vetoing some bills.
1669
01:42:16,292 --> 01:42:18,567
Mr. President, I have good news for you.
1670
01:42:18,652 --> 01:42:20,961
Your term of office is over.
1671
01:42:21,812 --> 01:42:24,246
-Is this March 4?
-Practically.
1672
01:42:24,332 --> 01:42:25,606
Let's see...
1673
01:42:27,812 --> 01:42:30,042
Now I go on my hunting trip to Africa!
1674
01:42:30,172 --> 01:42:32,732
Well, I must get started immediately.
1675
01:42:38,692 --> 01:42:41,809
Is he trying to move into the White House
before I've moved out?
1676
01:42:41,892 --> 01:42:43,644
Who, Mr. President?
1677
01:42:43,732 --> 01:42:44,562
Taft!
1678
01:42:47,692 --> 01:42:52,561
No, this isn't Mr. Taft.
It's Mr. Witherspoon, your guide to Africa.
1679
01:42:52,892 --> 01:42:54,291
Bully! Bully!
1680
01:42:54,452 --> 01:42:56,966
Wait right here.
I'll bring down my equipment.
1681
01:42:57,052 --> 01:42:58,087
Happy man.
1682
01:42:58,332 --> 01:43:00,323
Goodbye, Aunt Abby, Aunt Martha.
1683
01:43:00,412 --> 01:43:03,085
I'm on my way to Africa.
Isn't it wonderful?
1684
01:43:03,172 --> 01:43:04,207
Charge!
1685
01:43:06,852 --> 01:43:08,683
It's all right, I've got it.
1686
01:43:09,732 --> 01:43:10,642
Oh, dear.
1687
01:43:11,132 --> 01:43:14,010
And Happy Dale is full of staircases.
1688
01:43:18,892 --> 01:43:21,531
You've come to meet Teddy, haven't you?
1689
01:43:21,612 --> 01:43:25,287
No, he's come to take him.
Teddy's been blowing his bugle again.
1690
01:43:25,372 --> 01:43:28,523
No, he can't go now! We won't permit it.
1691
01:43:28,652 --> 01:43:31,041
We promise to take his bugle
away from him.
1692
01:43:31,132 --> 01:43:34,363
-We won't be separated from Teddy.
-I'm sorry.
1693
01:43:35,892 --> 01:43:38,008
How can you allow this? You promised.
1694
01:43:38,092 --> 01:43:41,289
Brewster's got nothing to do with this.
The law is the law!
1695
01:43:41,412 --> 01:43:43,926
Teddy's committed himself
and he's got to go.
1696
01:43:44,772 --> 01:43:49,766
-If he's going, we're going, too!
-Yes, you'll have to take us with him.
1697
01:43:50,652 --> 01:43:52,802
Why not? Why not, indeed?
1698
01:43:54,052 --> 01:43:58,204
It's sweet of them, but impossible.
We never take sane people at Happy Dale.
1699
01:44:02,572 --> 01:44:06,724
These little sane people will get lost
in the shuffle. You could arrange that.
1700
01:44:06,812 --> 01:44:09,690
Just put them in
and they'll get all mixed up.
1701
01:44:09,932 --> 01:44:12,207
Too dangerous. Dissension, jealousy.
1702
01:44:15,692 --> 01:44:17,603
Now, let's be sensible, ladies.
1703
01:44:17,732 --> 01:44:20,963
Here I am wasting my time
when I could be doing some serious work.
1704
01:44:21,052 --> 01:44:23,441
There are still murders
to be solved in Brooklyn.
1705
01:44:23,532 --> 01:44:26,683
It ain't only his bugle blowing.
Things are going to get worse.
1706
01:44:26,772 --> 01:44:29,411
We're liable to have to dig up your cellar.
1707
01:44:29,492 --> 01:44:30,766
Our cellar?
1708
01:44:31,972 --> 01:44:35,487
Teddy's been telling around
there's 13 bodies buried in the cellar.
1709
01:44:35,572 --> 01:44:37,927
There are 13 bodies in our cellar.
1710
01:44:43,612 --> 01:44:44,408
What?
1711
01:44:44,492 --> 01:44:47,848
Yes. You just ask our nephew, Mortimer.
1712
01:44:52,852 --> 01:44:53,841
Charge!
1713
01:45:00,012 --> 01:45:01,445
Isn't that amazing?
1714
01:45:02,652 --> 01:45:04,165
You behave yourself.
1715
01:45:04,252 --> 01:45:07,324
You know very well there are
13 bodies down in our cellar.
1716
01:45:07,412 --> 01:45:09,562
Certainly there's 13 bodies in the cellar.
1717
01:45:09,652 --> 01:45:13,361
And there are hundreds more
up in the attic, Captain!
1718
01:45:17,572 --> 01:45:19,802
-What is this?
-You mustn't mind Mortimer.
1719
01:45:19,892 --> 01:45:21,803
-How about it?
-I'll be right there.
1720
01:45:21,892 --> 01:45:23,723
He's been a little strange all day.
1721
01:45:23,812 --> 01:45:27,441
Right now I wouldn't know what is
and what ain't strange anymore.
1722
01:45:27,532 --> 01:45:30,410
-I'll look in that cellar.
-I'll tell you what we'll do.
1723
01:45:30,492 --> 01:45:33,882
I'll bring my bodies from the attic
and you get yours from the cellar...
1724
01:45:33,972 --> 01:45:38,682
and we'll get them all together,
and we'll send them to Happy Dale.
1725
01:45:40,572 --> 01:45:44,201
No, you wouldn't have to dig.
The graves are all marked.
1726
01:45:44,612 --> 01:45:47,524
-We put flowers on them every Sunday.
-Flowers?
1727
01:45:47,612 --> 01:45:50,126
Sure, I put neon lights on mine.
1728
01:45:51,892 --> 01:45:53,530
Humor them, humor them.
1729
01:45:54,252 --> 01:45:55,207
Smile.
1730
01:45:57,612 --> 01:45:59,887
There's one down there, a Mr. Spenalzo...
1731
01:45:59,972 --> 01:46:01,121
Hasn't got it yet.
1732
01:46:01,212 --> 01:46:03,487
who doesn't belong here
and has to leave.
1733
01:46:03,572 --> 01:46:07,326
-But the other 12 are our gentlemen.
-Your gentlemen?
1734
01:46:07,412 --> 01:46:10,290
You'd like mine better.
None of mine are gentlemen.
1735
01:46:11,452 --> 01:46:13,966
-You mustn't mind him at all.
-He got married today.
1736
01:46:14,052 --> 01:46:17,362
"There is a Happy Dale far, far away
1737
01:46:17,452 --> 01:46:19,408
"There is a Happy"
1738
01:46:23,572 --> 01:46:25,528
He got it. It's amazing.
1739
01:46:26,132 --> 01:46:28,566
Don't you think you can find room
for the ladies?
1740
01:46:28,652 --> 01:46:30,005
Just the ladies?
1741
01:46:31,572 --> 01:46:33,290
Just the ladies!
1742
01:46:34,212 --> 01:46:36,726
-How about it?
-They'd have to be committed.
1743
01:46:37,412 --> 01:46:39,448
Teddy committed himself. Couldn't they?
1744
01:46:39,532 --> 01:46:42,205
-All they have to do is sign the papers.
-Certainly.
1745
01:46:42,292 --> 01:46:45,329
If we can go with Teddy,
we'll sign the papers.
1746
01:46:45,412 --> 01:46:46,606
Where are they?
1747
01:46:46,692 --> 01:46:48,683
I have them, ladies, right here.
1748
01:46:48,892 --> 01:46:51,884
Sign them up, will you?
I want this all cleaned up.
1749
01:46:52,012 --> 01:46:55,687
I'm going out to talk to that spy.
Maybe I can understand him.
1750
01:46:55,932 --> 01:46:57,809
Thirteen bodies in the cellar.
1751
01:46:57,932 --> 01:46:59,570
Ladies, if you'll sign right here.
1752
01:47:10,452 --> 01:47:11,851
-Here?
-Yes, please.
1753
01:47:11,972 --> 01:47:14,008
It's on the right-hand side there.
1754
01:47:14,092 --> 01:47:16,322
I'm really looking forward to going.
1755
01:47:16,412 --> 01:47:18,721
The neighborhood here has changed so.
1756
01:47:18,852 --> 01:47:22,003
Yes. Especially since they won
that old pennant thing.
1757
01:47:24,972 --> 01:47:27,532
Oh, dear, I'm so sorry.
We've overlooked something.
1758
01:47:27,612 --> 01:47:31,048
It's absolutely compulsory that we have
the signature of a physician.
1759
01:47:31,132 --> 01:47:32,247
A doctor.
1760
01:47:32,372 --> 01:47:34,932
Dr. Einstein! Come here
and sign some papers, please.
1761
01:47:35,012 --> 01:47:37,003
-Good night.
-Come here, Dr. Einstein.
1762
01:47:37,092 --> 01:47:38,286
-A doctor?
-Yes.
1763
01:47:38,412 --> 01:47:41,961
Dr. Einstein almost operated on me earlier.
Come along, Doctor.
1764
01:47:44,052 --> 01:47:46,691
Now, here. Just sign right here,
please, Doctor.
1765
01:47:46,772 --> 01:47:49,286
-Were you leaving, Doctor?
-Yes, please.
1766
01:47:49,372 --> 01:47:52,170
Aren't you going to wait for Jonathan?
1767
01:47:52,292 --> 01:47:55,090
I don't think we go to the same place.
1768
01:47:55,492 --> 01:47:58,768
Hello, Mac. We picked up that guy
that's wanted in Indiana.
1769
01:47:58,852 --> 01:48:01,844
His accomplice's description is
on the circular, on the desk.
1770
01:48:01,932 --> 01:48:02,967
Read it to me, will you?
1771
01:48:05,452 --> 01:48:06,646
About 40.
1772
01:48:07,132 --> 01:48:08,611
Five-foot-three.
1773
01:48:08,932 --> 01:48:10,445
One hundred and forty pounds.
1774
01:48:11,092 --> 01:48:12,366
Pop eyes.
1775
01:48:13,852 --> 01:48:15,843
Talks with a German accent.
1776
01:48:16,172 --> 01:48:17,605
Poses as a doctor.
1777
01:48:17,812 --> 01:48:19,291
Okay, Mac. Thanks.
1778
01:48:19,412 --> 01:48:22,563
It's all right. The doctor
has completed the signatures.
1779
01:48:22,692 --> 01:48:23,886
That's great!
1780
01:48:24,052 --> 01:48:27,442
Thanks, Doc.
You've done Brooklyn a great service.
1781
01:48:32,412 --> 01:48:34,209
But Dr. Einstein!
1782
01:48:37,532 --> 01:48:40,842
-Now, Mr. Witherspoon--
-You're Witherspoon, I'm Brewster.
1783
01:48:40,972 --> 01:48:43,566
It's contagious, yes. It's your turn.
1784
01:48:43,932 --> 01:48:45,968
-Don't play games--
-You sign.
1785
01:48:46,092 --> 01:48:48,128
You sign as next of kin.
1786
01:48:48,492 --> 01:48:51,882
Why didn't you say so?
I'm all confused. Don't mind me.
1787
01:48:53,732 --> 01:48:55,006
Mr. Witherport.
1788
01:48:55,452 --> 01:48:57,283
-Spoon.
-Here.
1789
01:48:57,892 --> 01:48:59,211
Come up and pack my duffel.
1790
01:49:01,492 --> 01:49:02,641
Duffel?
1791
01:49:02,732 --> 01:49:05,292
Pack his duffel. He's President, you know?
1792
01:49:05,652 --> 01:49:07,563
And bring along my bugle.
1793
01:49:09,332 --> 01:49:10,447
President.
1794
01:49:19,372 --> 01:49:20,691
Don't charge!
1795
01:49:33,372 --> 01:49:36,330
We're really very worried about something.
1796
01:49:37,092 --> 01:49:39,686
Now, darling, don't be worried.
1797
01:49:40,172 --> 01:49:43,244
-Me too, Mortimer.
-Well, of course, darling.
1798
01:49:44,092 --> 01:49:46,083
You'll both be very happy at Happy Dale.
1799
01:49:46,172 --> 01:49:50,370
We're very happy about the whole thing,
but that's just it.
1800
01:49:50,692 --> 01:49:52,842
We don't want anything to go wrong.
1801
01:49:54,692 --> 01:49:57,365
Will they investigate those signatures?
1802
01:49:58,372 --> 01:50:02,160
-They won't look up Dr. Einstein--
-But it's not his signature, dear.
1803
01:50:02,292 --> 01:50:04,123
-It's yours.
-Mine?
1804
01:50:04,212 --> 01:50:07,329
You see, you signed as next of kin.
1805
01:50:07,612 --> 01:50:11,651
-What's wrong about that, darling?
-Martha, you tell him.
1806
01:50:13,692 --> 01:50:14,966
Well, dear.
1807
01:50:15,052 --> 01:50:18,806
-What, dear?
-You're not really a Brewster.
1808
01:50:20,132 --> 01:50:22,566
-What?
-Your mother came to us as a cook.
1809
01:50:22,692 --> 01:50:24,922
And you were born
about three months afterwards.
1810
01:50:25,012 --> 01:50:27,845
And she was such a sweet woman
and such a good cook...
1811
01:50:27,932 --> 01:50:31,368
we didn't want to lose her.
So brother married her.
1812
01:50:31,612 --> 01:50:33,603
Your real father was a cook, too.
1813
01:50:33,732 --> 01:50:36,769
He was a chef on a tramp steamer.
1814
01:50:40,012 --> 01:50:43,163
You mean I'm not really a Brewster?
1815
01:50:45,092 --> 01:50:47,606
-Darling!
-Don't feel so badly about it.
1816
01:50:47,732 --> 01:50:50,724
I'm sure it won't make any difference
to Elaine.
1817
01:50:59,412 --> 01:51:02,370
Where are you? Can you hear me?
I'm not really a Brewster!
1818
01:51:02,452 --> 01:51:04,249
I'm the son of a sea cook!
1819
01:51:10,452 --> 01:51:12,568
It's true! I saw them. It's true.
1820
01:51:12,692 --> 01:51:15,206
It's true! There are 13 bodies down there!
1821
01:51:15,372 --> 01:51:17,044
But I saw them--
1822
01:51:18,572 --> 01:51:20,085
What's all this screaming about?
1823
01:51:20,172 --> 01:51:23,209
-But I saw them--
-It's way past her bedtime.
1824
01:51:24,692 --> 01:51:25,807
Quiet!
1825
01:51:29,252 --> 01:51:31,368
-But, Mortimer--
-Goodbye!
1826
01:51:31,452 --> 01:51:33,682
-'Bye.
-Goodbye, darling!
1827
01:51:35,732 --> 01:51:38,849
-What is all this?
-They're going on their honeymoon.
1828
01:51:39,252 --> 01:51:41,208
They're off to a flying start.
1829
01:51:47,492 --> 01:51:48,891
I really did see--
1830
01:51:49,492 --> 01:51:51,528
You'll own two cabs!
1831
01:51:52,212 --> 01:51:54,328
I mean the meter!
1832
01:51:54,652 --> 01:51:56,165
Oh, Mortimer.
1833
01:52:06,692 --> 01:52:09,081
We're going to Niagara Falls.
Call me a cab, dear.
1834
01:52:09,172 --> 01:52:10,525
Yes, love.
1835
01:52:11,572 --> 01:52:13,130
But, Mr. Brewster!
1836
01:52:13,252 --> 01:52:16,483
I'm not a Brewster.
I'm a son of a sea cook.
1837
01:52:17,372 --> 01:52:18,407
Charge!
1838
01:52:20,332 --> 01:52:23,324
I'm not a cabdriver. I'm a coffeepot!
146775
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