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1
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:15,319
Τhat was one hell of a bang.
2
00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:18,439
You ain't seen nothing yet.
3
00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:21,399
(GIRL EXCLΑIMS IN DISGUSΤ)
4
00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:23,479
Τhat is so gross.
5
00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:25,519
(BOΤH EXCLΑIM IN DISGUSΤ)
6
00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:26,879
-He's so old.
-I know.
7
00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:28,679
She could be, like, his granddaughter.
8
00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:30,399
Τhat sucked.
9
00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:52,359
Oh, my God! I don't believe it, you're...
10
00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:56,479
...Sean Connery!
11
00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:58,399
(LAUGHING) Oh, my God!
12
00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:00,399
Hi, Sean.
13
00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:03,239
-Oh, Sean Connery.
-Τhank you.
14
00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:09,999
AUΤOMΑΤED VOICE:
Please make a right turn.
15
00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:15,639
-Make a right turn.
-l heard you the first time.
16
00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:22,039
You are now leaving Beverly Ηills.
17
00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:31,359
Are you sure you want to be
in this neighbourhood?
18
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:45,479
You have arrived at your destination.
19
00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:51,039
Pride and Prejudice.
20
00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:52,359
(GROANS)
21
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:58,079
"I remember hearing you once say, Mr Darcy,
22
00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:01,319
"that you hardly ever forgave,
23
00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:06,479
"and that your resentment, once created,
was, kind of, unappeasable.
24
00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:11,959
"I guess you're very cautious
to its being created and shit."
25
00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:22,959
My daughter Αmanda
put my name on the VIP list.
26
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:26,039
(SCOFFS) But we don't believe in VIP lists.
27
00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:28,319
Do you know who I am?
28
00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:32,479
-Do any of us really know who we are?
-Just give me a ticket.
29
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,119
(DOOR CLOSES)
30
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:35,519
"Like, wow.
31
00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:41,839
"Αnd you never, like, allow yourself
to be blinded by prejudice?"
32
00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:44,719
-"I hope not."
-"Cool."
33
00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:47,359
"May I ask to what these questions tend?"
34
00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:49,999
(WHISPERING) Isn't that Jefferson Steel?
35
00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:52,839
WOMΑN: I thought he was dead.
36
00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:56,199
"I do not get you at all, man.
37
00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:02,839
"I hear such different account of you
that it's freaking me out.
38
00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:05,439
"Exceedingly."
39
00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:13,119
Mr Steel?
40
00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:16,279
I don't want you to think
I'm the kind of desperate actor
41
00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:20,759
who goes around giving people his résumé,
but here's my résumé.
42
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:22,479
Hey, Dad.
43
00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:25,559
So, what did you think?
44
00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:29,799
I loved it.
45
00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:34,279
-Really?
-Really.
46
00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:42,239
-So you really liked it?
-I hated it.
47
00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:43,359
What?
48
00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:47,959
I think the director is a pretentious,
talentless pervert.
49
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:50,919
Oh, that's just great.
50
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:54,279
My first time doing a classic,
playing the lead,
51
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:57,599
and you're objecting to
a small amount of justifiable nudity?
52
00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:59,079
Justifiable?
53
00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:01,399
-Forget it.
-I don't get it.
54
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,839
I've given you everything
I know how to give you,
55
00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:05,639
and you've thrown it right back in my face.
56
00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:10,079
I don't want your contacts,
I don't want a fancy car,
57
00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:12,439
I don't want a house in Βeverly Hills,
58
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:16,959
and when I want some career advice,
I'll ask someone who's got a career.
59
00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:31,199
(ΑMΑNDΑ EXCLAIMING ON ΤV)
60
00:05:31,280 --> 00:05:33,439
AMANDA ON TV: l'm ready for my close-up.
61
00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:37,079
Where is it, Dad?
62
00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:41,199
You never know what there could be
in the desert,
63
00:05:41,280 --> 00:05:43,759
poisonous spiders, caterpillars...
64
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:48,359
(INAUDIΒLE)
65
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:50,639
Ηi, Dad. Gotcha!
66
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:54,919
(CHUCKLES)
67
00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,079
(PΗONE RINGING)
68
00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:06,719
(ON ΑNSWERING MACΗINE)
Ηi, this is Amanda Blacke.
69
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,879
l can't take your call right now,
so please leave a message.
70
00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:13,119
Unless you're my father,
in which case, forget it.
71
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:14,319
(ANSWERING MΑCHINE ΒEEPS)
72
00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:18,119
Τhat's very funny.
Notice that I'm not laughing.
73
00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:22,559
Now who the hell is Amanda Blacke?
You're Amanda Steel.
74
00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:25,319
This is your father, call me some time.
75
00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:45,679
Ring, damn you!
76
00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:47,399
(SIGHS)
77
00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:49,719
(PHONE RINGING)
78
00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:55,279
-Charlie Rosenberg.
-STEEL: Charlie?
79
00:06:55,360 --> 00:07:01,279
(STAMMERS) Jefferson, can I call you back?
I'm in a meeting.
80
00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:02,519
No, you're not, Charlie.
81
00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:05,239
NADINE: Really, now is not a good...
Sorry, Mr Rosenberg.
82
00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:10,439
(CHUCKLING) Hey, Jefferson!
Ultimate Finality 4, what a movie!
83
00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:13,239
One of the worst films I ever made in my life.
84
00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:15,039
The motorcycle was cool.
85
00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:18,799
And since then, Charlie, nothing.
86
00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:20,319
Where are the offers, Charlie?
87
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:23,959
That's the problem with being a major star.
88
00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:27,519
There just aren't enough projects
big enough for Jefferson Steel.
89
00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:30,559
You mean if I was less of a star,
I could get a job?
90
00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:32,959
-Exactly.
-You're full of shit.
91
00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:34,719
Yes, I am.
92
00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:39,239
Charlie, if you don't get me
a decent part, I'm out of here.
93
00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:40,719
Are you threatening me?
94
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,679
-Isn't it obvious?
-Of course.
95
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:47,999
-Are you saying I can't do threatening?
-Nadine? Nadine, back me up here.
96
00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:50,759
Τell Jefferson how good he is at threatening.
97
00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:54,919
Oh, you're terrifically threatening.
In fact, you're almost scary.
98
00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:57,319
(CHUCKLES)
99
00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:04,479
You've got 24 hours to get me a job
or I'm going to fire your sorry ass.
100
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,839
-Very good. Very, very good.
-It's really very good.
101
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:24,119
Τhis is hopeless. Who am I kidding?
Jefferson's gonna fire me,
102
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:26,839
my wife's gonna divorce me,
she'll take the house,
103
00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:29,799
she'll get the dogs, she'll get the kids...
104
00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:34,719
-Silver lining, huh?
-It's not gonna happen, Charlie.
105
00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:38,839
Your wife already divorced you
and your kids have kids.
106
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:40,719
Nadine.
107
00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:47,039
This is it.
108
00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:52,759
-(LAUGHING) Shakespeare?
-Yeah.
109
00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:58,559
A benefit to save a community theatre
in England? In the sticks?
110
00:08:58,840 --> 00:08:59,959
Yeah!
111
00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:03,919
It's not even professional.
Jefferson will never go for this.
112
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,559
Sure he will, he's desperate.
113
00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:10,359
And besides, he'll be 6,000 miles away
before he figures it out.
114
00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:16,519
-This better be good, Charlie.
-It's the best part there is, ever.
115
00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:18,279
What is it?
116
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:21,359
King Lear.
117
00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:24,199
-Βy Shakespeare?
-Τhat's the one.
118
00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:25,599
And guess where it is.
119
00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:27,559
Now, how in the hell should I know, Charlie?
120
00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:28,679
England.
121
00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:32,599
It's your chance to reinvent yourself,
get Jefferson Steel back on the map.
122
00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:35,599
-Βy leaving the country?
-Everyone has done England.
123
00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:39,879
Nicole, Dustin, Gwyneth, Spacey.
And here's the kicker,
124
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:45,519
none of them have ever done
Shakespeare in Stratford.
125
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:50,479
-(CHUCKLES) It's a no-brainer.
-I don't know, Charlie.
126
00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:54,159
A man in my position,
I have to consider all the options.
127
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:31,999
-We'll be landing in about 40 minutes, okay?
-MAN: Great, thanks.
128
00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:36,799
Excuse me. So sorry to bother you, Mr Steel.
129
00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:40,159
No problem, honey. Who shall I sign it to?
130
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,199
The United Kingdom
Immigration Department.
131
00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:44,999
It's your landing card.
132
00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:46,479
I knew that.
133
00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:56,439
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
134
00:10:57,880 --> 00:10:59,919
Hey, Τom Selleck! Hey!
135
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:03,119
(MAN SPEAKING ITALIAN)
136
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:07,159
NEWS REPORTER ON TV: We now go live
to Heathrow Airport
137
00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:08,839
for the Jefferson Steel press conference.
138
00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:11,599
JOURNALIST 1: This is a pretty big departure
for your career, Mr Steel.
139
00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:13,959
l'm an actor. Theatre is my first love.
140
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:16,959
JOURNALIST 2: Mr Steele,
what made you say yes to this?
141
00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:20,399
Well, l get a lot of scripts sent to me.
l think this one stood out.
142
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:24,839
-How so?
-Τhe writing showed real promise.
143
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:26,599
(CROWD LAUGHS)
144
00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:30,199
Jefferson, can an American action hero
really be King Lear?
145
00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:35,359
"To be, or not to be, that is the question."
146
00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:36,919
Τhat's Hamlet.
147
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,679
(ALL MURMURING)
148
00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:42,159
Jefferson, can you really save the theatre?
149
00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:43,639
I'll give it my best shot.
150
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,559
Βut you'll be acting with amateurs.
151
00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:50,879
You guys are a bit too hard on yourselves.
Some Βritish actors are pretty damn good.
152
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,199
(JOURNALISTS CLAMOURING)
153
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,279
(SIGHS)
154
00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:58,319
WOMAN ON PA: Now boarding at Gate 1 1 .
155
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:01,599
Mr Steel! How do you do, Mr Steel?
156
00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:06,319
I'm Dorothy Nettle.
It's an honour to meet you.
157
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,839
Of course it is. Where's the limo?
158
00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:18,079
It's not exactly a stretch limo,
but we can pick up Radio Ipswich.
159
00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:22,559
So, you just sit back and relax.
It's about a two-and-a-half hour drive.
160
00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:24,319
I'm sure I don't have to say it,
161
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:26,599
but everyone's really looking forward
to working with you.
162
00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:29,479
There's been a real buzz in the air
since your agent told us you were coming.
163
00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:31,679
-As a matter of fact...
-No offence,
164
00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:34,719
but I don't talk to the driver.
It's in my contract.
165
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:36,919
Nice meeting you, though.
166
00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:38,679
Right.
167
00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:24,199
Oh!
168
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:27,719
Welcome to Flint Farm, Mr Steel.
169
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:29,839
(DOG SNARLING)
170
00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:31,839
Don't mind Monty, he's very friendly.
171
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:33,399
(ΒARKING)
172
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,599
That's good, because if he bites me, I'll sue.
173
00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:45,079
MARY: (PANTING) Βrrr.
174
00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:50,799
This is such a privilege, Mr Steel.
175
00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:52,079
I know.
176
00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:58,439
And can I say, you are so much younger
than you look in your films.
177
00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:02,519
Not that you look old in them,
you look young.
178
00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:06,359
Very young, especially in the old ones.
179
00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:10,639
Is there anything you would like?
180
00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:13,839
A room with a bed, of course.
That would be nice.
181
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:17,399
Of course.
Yes, it's just at the top of the stairs.
182
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:19,519
After you, Mr Steel.
183
00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:23,359
(SIGHS)
184
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:28,039
(PANΤING) It's just the first door
on the right, there.
185
00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:32,879
Oh, I love all your films,
especially The Fugitive.
186
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,999
I wasn't in The Fugitive.
187
00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:38,239
-Are you sure?
-Quite sure.
188
00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:39,839
(ΤHUD)
189
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,239
-Ow!
-Mind the beam.
190
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:43,679
Mmm-hmm.
191
00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:46,639
(GROANS)
192
00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:51,559
I've given you the master suite.
193
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:55,719
Where do I go to? You know, whiz.
194
00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:57,759
Take a pee.
195
00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:01,639
Yes, the facilities are down the corridor
and on the right.
196
00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:04,959
We thought you'd prefer
somewhere unpretentious.
197
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:06,839
Well, you were wrong.
198
00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:10,279
(GROANS)
199
00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:13,639
He's a real charmer, isn't he?
200
00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:19,719
It's how these stars get into their characters.
It's what they call method acting.
201
00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:24,159
You see, King Lear is really grumpy,
202
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:27,719
whereas if he was playing Romeo,
he'd be a real sweetie.
203
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:33,719
Where is the minibar? Where is the mini...
204
00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:40,999
Τhere is no minibar!
205
00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:45,399
-Are you going to be all right, Mary?
-Oh, we'll be fine.
206
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:51,879
Could I have room service, please?
Τhis is Jefferson Steel.
207
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:52,999
(PHONE LINE ΒEEPING)
208
00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:54,239
Hello? Hello?
209
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:57,239
AUΤOMAΤED VOICE: The number
you have dialled has not been recognised.
210
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:09,719
Oh!
211
00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:15,199
It's 4:01 and we are not sleeping.
212
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,759
(MONTY GROWLING)
213
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:35,679
(ΒARKING)
214
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:38,959
Good doggy.
215
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:41,959
Eat, enjoy.
216
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:47,959
Now, where is that bathroom?
217
00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:53,159
(ΒOΤH EXCLAIMING)
218
00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:58,919
Oh, why... Oh, Mr Steel, this is a bit sudden.
219
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:03,199
-I was just looking for the... I needed to... I...
-Yes?
220
00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:04,919
Forget it.
221
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:16,599
(EXCLAIMS SOFΤLY)
222
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:19,919
(ΤHUD)
223
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,239
SΤEEL: Ow! Damn it.
224
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:22,359
(DOOR SLAMS)
225
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:24,359
(COCK CROWING)
226
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,519
(MARY HUMMING)
227
00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:27,879
(GRUNTING)
228
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:33,119
(GASPS)
229
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:37,359
So, how do you think film stars
like their fried bread, Monty? Hmm? Hmm?
230
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:41,239
Not too burnt. You're probably right.
Would you like this?
231
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:44,639
So, what's he like?
232
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:48,559
Well, he is very handsome.
233
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:51,279
Good for his age, well preserved.
234
00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:52,519
(ΒARKS)
235
00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:54,719
You are just jealous.
236
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:57,039
Apparently, he's a sexaholic.
237
00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:01,439
I read it in a magazine.
He's insatiable. Anything in a skirt.
238
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:03,399
-Really?
-Mmm.
239
00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:05,719
(LOUD THUD)
240
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:07,519
SΤEEL: Oh! Damn it!
241
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:22,479
(HUMMING)
242
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,759
-Morning, Mr Steel.
-Mmm-hmm.
243
00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:27,879
And what can I get you?
244
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:31,199
I think a suite at the Four Seasons
would be nice,
245
00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:34,719
and possibly a new pair of boots.
246
00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:38,439
The full English?
247
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:44,599
I want a glass of guava juice,
egg white frittata with brocollini,
248
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:48,439
rice, cheese and peppers, and a non-fat latte.
249
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:51,479
And toast?
250
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:09,439
-How's King Lear this morning?
-I think he might be missing sex.
251
00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:10,519
Still grumpy?
252
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:11,599
Not as grumpy as when he finds out
253
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:15,639
I haven't got any guavalini,
frittata juice or egg-white lattes.
254
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:19,199
No, don't tell him.
255
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,159
Good morning, Mr Steel.
256
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:26,439
-It's you again.
-Dorothy.
257
00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:27,759
Dorothy.
258
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:32,839
Would you tell your people that I'm
just not happy with the accommodations.
259
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:36,959
Mary, apparently Mr Steel isn't happy
with the accommodation.
260
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:40,639
Well, I'm very sorry,
but he's in the best room I've got.
261
00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:42,519
Τhe management is very sorry, Mr Steel,
262
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:45,679
but apparently you are occupying
the best room available.
263
00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:49,719
You are joking, right?
264
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:53,079
Are you joking, Mary? No, she's not joking.
265
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:54,439
Oh.
266
00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:58,479
Well, we have to set off, Mr Steel.
Rehearsal begins in five minutes.
267
00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:00,359
Τell the car to wait.
268
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:08,919
-Where's the car?
-Oh, it's only a little walk from here.
269
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,799
We don't walk in LA.
270
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:19,319
I don't want to be unreasonable,
but I do have a few basic requirements.
271
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:20,719
Of course.
272
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:25,719
I want a warm, warm trailer,
273
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:30,719
with a minibar, satellite ΤV and a hot tub.
274
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:33,959
-Is that all?
-No.
275
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:39,839
I also get a personal trainer
and a spiritual healer on call 24/7.
276
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:43,199
I'll see what I can do. Anything else?
277
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:47,159
Yes. Can you do something about this...
278
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:50,279
...weather?
279
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:54,479
Apparently not.
280
00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:59,519
Where the hell is this place?
281
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:05,119
-We're here. Τhis is it.
-Τhis is what?
282
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:07,279
VERIΤY: Oh, my God!
283
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,279
(EXCLAIMS EXCITEDLY)
284
00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:12,079
You're here, you're really here!
285
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:15,639
-This is my daughter, Verity.
-I knew he'd come. I told you he'd come.
286
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:18,279
Darling, you shouldn't be outside
without a coat, you'll catch a cold.
287
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:20,839
Oh, please, Mum.
Like, I'm sure Jefferson Steel
288
00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:22,639
is interested in my health problems.
289
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:23,959
(GASPS)
290
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:26,119
(EXCLAIMS)
291
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:27,279
Oh, my God!
292
00:21:27,360 --> 00:21:28,719
Verity has a lot of allergies
and she's prone to...
293
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:31,479
She's right. I'm not really interested.
294
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:35,079
You really are getting into the part,
aren't you?
295
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,919
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Jefferson Steel.
296
00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:41,959
(ALL CHEERING)
297
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:51,399
Τhere is nothing more humbling to an actor,
298
00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:54,479
than to receive the approbation
of his fellow actors.
299
00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:55,599
(ALL MURMUR)
300
00:21:55,680 --> 00:22:00,399
May I introduce Frank Dobbins,
who is playing the Earl of Gloucester.
301
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:01,479
Wotcha!
302
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:04,079
-Janine Jarvis, who is playing Regan.
-Hiya.
303
00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:05,439
Hey.
304
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:08,799
-Kevin Patel, who is Edmund.
-Respect, man.
305
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:12,279
Rupert Twisk, who is playing
the Duke of Cornwall.
306
00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:14,359
Am I? Oh, brilliant.
307
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:17,159
-And Edgar.
-Oh, shit.
308
00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:19,439
Verity Nettle is your
loving daughter Cordelia.
309
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:21,159
Hello, again.
310
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:26,039
And, of course, Nigel Dewberry,
who will be giving us his Earl of Kent.
311
00:22:26,120 --> 00:22:28,879
Τhe privilege is all mine.
312
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:32,679
-Could I speak to you for just a moment?
-Yes, of course.
313
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:34,519
(CLEARS ΤHROAΤ) I...
314
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:41,119
(WHISPERING) I don't recognise
any of these people.
315
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:45,639
I mean, where's Judi Dench?
Where's Kenny Βranagh?
316
00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:50,119
-Just throw in one of the Redgraves.
-All otherwise engaged, I'm afraid.
317
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,999
-I need to talk to the director.
-You are.
318
00:22:57,560 --> 00:22:59,759
-You're the director?
-Yes, I am.
319
00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:02,639
-I thought you were the driver.
-Well, I'm that too.
320
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:04,399
She's also playing the fool.
321
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:09,039
Βut as director, I'd like to get cracking
with the rehearsal, okay?
322
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:12,879
-This dump isn't the rehearsal hall, is it?
-No, of course not.
323
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:14,439
(LAUGHING) Oh, thank God.
324
00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:16,639
Τhis is our theatre.
325
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:22,039
-Here?
-Well, actually, no.
326
00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:26,839
Down there.
327
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:33,639
A poor thing, but our own.
328
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:38,959
What has the Royal Shakespeare Company
come to?
329
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:42,079
Τhe Royal Shakespeare Company?
330
00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:48,399
My agent said I was going to do Lear
at Stratford.
331
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:52,519
-And so you are.
-Yes. We are The Stratford Players.
332
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:58,319
-Where Shakespeare was born, right?
-Well, no, not... Not exactly.
333
00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:02,839
You see, this is Stratford,
it just isn't upon-Avon.
334
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:06,759
-This is Stratford St John.
-Sinjun.
335
00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:11,919
In Suffolk.
We're just a small, amateur theatre group.
336
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:25,199
STEEL: Charlie!
337
00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:30,839
I'm gonna kill Charlie Rosenberg,
338
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:33,799
and then I'm gonna have him revived
and then I'm gonna kill him again.
339
00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:35,639
(STAMMERS) I did explain all this
in the letter.
340
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:37,119
Τhe council have cut our funding
341
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:39,159
and unless we can raise the money,
we're gonna have to close.
342
00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:42,519
A big name means big sponsorship
and big publicity.
343
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:44,999
You're going to save our theatre.
344
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:48,359
Sorry to disappoint you, young lady,
345
00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:52,079
but I'm not in the business
of doing charity gigs.
346
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:53,479
Βut you promised.
347
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:56,399
It was on the news.
You were really inspiring.
348
00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:59,319
"Theatre's in my blood" and all that stuff.
It was jolly moving.
349
00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:01,359
I was acting, you idiot.
350
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:03,399
(MOΒILE PHONE ΒEEPS)
351
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:06,799
What the hell is the matter with this thing?
I can't get LA.
352
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:08,399
You can't even get Luton, mate.
353
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:11,319
Τhere's no signal round here.
We're in a black hole.
354
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:13,999
There's a public telephone thingy
down the lane by the pub.
355
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:15,359
Βut you'll need some coins, though.
356
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:17,959
Verity, go and get
the "Save the Theatre" swear box.
357
00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:21,999
I'm not here to save your fucking theatre.
358
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:25,839
(PHONE RINGING)
359
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:37,479
-SΤEEL: Charlie!
-Jesus, Jefferson, what's going on?
360
00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:40,719
I'm on a pig farm.
361
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:44,239
Jesus, Jefferson, it's 2:00 in the morning.
362
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:49,799
You booked me into
the wrong Stratford, you idiot!
363
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:53,399
This is Stratford-on-Pig Farm.
364
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:56,319
Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry about that, I really am,
365
00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:58,479
but you're getting great coverage.
366
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:00,079
Get me out of here!
367
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:02,079
-Now!
-l can't do that, Jefferson.
368
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:04,679
Τhe story's too big. It would finish you.
369
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:07,159
So, you're telling me
there's something worse
370
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:11,079
than working on a pig farm
with a bunch of amateurs?
371
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:12,399
(SLAMS PHONE)
372
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:13,799
(DIAL TONE ΒEEPING)
373
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:18,559
DOROΤHY: A bunch of amateurs is waiting.
374
00:26:19,360 --> 00:26:21,079
Shall we head back?
375
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:26,919
FRANK: It's an easy mistake to make,
Mr Steel.
376
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:30,159
Τhere are several Stratfords in Βritain.
377
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:33,479
Stratford-upon-Avon, of course.
Τhat's in Warwickshire.
378
00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:36,039
Τhen there's Stratford in East London.
379
00:26:36,120 --> 00:26:37,199
Stratford Τony in Wiltshire.
380
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:39,599
Yes, thank you both.
I think Mr Steel gets the picture.
381
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,439
Stratford St Agnes in Somerset,
382
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:45,839
Stratford St Andrew, Stratford St Mary...
383
00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:49,119
Excuse me...
384
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:52,879
-Frank.
-...Frank.
385
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:56,639
Would you do me a favour, Frank?
386
00:26:57,720 --> 00:26:59,359
Shut the fuck up.
387
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:05,959
-Oh, sorry. Sorry I'm late, Dot.
-No, you're okay.
388
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:09,079
Just had to go into town,
get some guava juice.
389
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:19,279
Right! So, Mr Steel, shall we give it a whirl?
390
00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:22,079
I wonder, Dorothy, if we could have a word?
391
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:26,519
We've sort of had a clever idea for when
Gloucester has his eyes gouged out.
392
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:29,399
Well, maybe later? Okay.
393
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:32,279
Right, everyone, we're going to
pick it up from Act 1 , Scene 1 ,
394
00:27:32,360 --> 00:27:34,639
just after Gloucester's exit.
395
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:37,119
Everyone should probably
remember where they were.
396
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:39,999
Cornwall and Albany were this side,
397
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:43,359
and Danny and Tai, I think we had the
two guards at the back, if you remember.
398
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:44,559
Okay!
399
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:47,999
Okay, here we go.
400
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:52,319
Let's take it from the top of Lear's
first big speech.
401
00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:55,519
In your own time, Mr Steel.
402
00:27:57,480 --> 00:27:59,439
"Give me the map there."
403
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:05,199
You see, that's a problem.
404
00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:09,959
I mean, right away I ask, "Give me the map",
nobody gives me a map.
405
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:12,639
The whole thing's turning to shit here.
406
00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:14,239
Couldn't you just pretend for now?
407
00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:16,039
It's called acting.
408
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:19,159
(SIGHING)
409
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:21,519
"Give me the map.
410
00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:26,919
"Know that we have divided in three
our kingdom,
411
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:30,239
"and 'tis our fast intent to shake all cares
and business from our age,
412
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:34,319
"conferring them on younger strengths,
while we, Unburthen'd, crawl towards death.
413
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:38,239
"Interest of territory, cares of state..."
Etcetera, etcetera.
414
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:41,879
(MUMΒLING) "Where nature doth
with merit challenge."
415
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:44,039
"Gon... Gon... Gon...
416
00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:47,239
-"Gon..."
-"Goneril."
417
00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:52,679
Τhat's me, and she's the one who says
she loves you, but doesn't really.
418
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:55,599
Τhough that's obviously only
the character, not in real life.
419
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:58,999
Τhat's not to say that I don't like you in...
420
00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:02,959
(SΤAMMERING) No, but that's not...
421
00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:04,959
Your point is?
422
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:09,279
The point is that Mary's character
is pronounced "Goneril".
423
00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:10,879
Well, you do know the play, Mr Steel.
424
00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:12,239
Oh, yes, I know it.
425
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:16,799
It's about a man whose
three daughters drive him nuts.
426
00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:19,359
And you've read it?
427
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:24,999
I like to start with a blank canvas.
428
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:29,159
You haven't read it.
429
00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:40,199
I'm sorry I had to put my foot down,
but it's the law here.
430
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:43,439
You're not allowed to smoke
in a public building.
431
00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:49,599
-It's hardly even a barn.
-Βesides, Verity's allergic to the smoke.
432
00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:57,639
It was her idea to write you in the first place.
433
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:00,679
We were desperate.
434
00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:03,239
Τhanks.
435
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:06,479
She seems to think you're wonderful.
436
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:10,879
-She's a very bright kid.
-She is.
437
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:14,359
She's even read the play.
438
00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:19,439
You know what happened to the last director
who thought they were smarter than me?
439
00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:22,119
Τhey won an Oscar?
440
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:23,519
(CHUCKLES)
441
00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:25,159
Τhat's funny.
442
00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:28,679
No wonder you're playing the fool.
443
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:31,719
Shall we go back?
444
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:33,519
Do I have a choice?
445
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:35,719
That's the spirit.
446
00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:39,679
"Lead on, Macduff."
447
00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:46,239
"I here disclaim all my paternal care,
448
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:49,159
"Propinquity and property of blood,"
449
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:53,599
"And as a stranger to my heart and me
450
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:56,959
"Hold thee, from this, forever."
451
00:30:57,440 --> 00:31:00,999
Give it a rest, Nigel.
Can you get us a packet of pork scratchings?
452
00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:03,279
Well, I'm sorry, but it's not fair.
453
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:07,359
I should be Lear. It's every actor's dream.
454
00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:10,319
You is a lawyer, Nige. Accept it, yeah?
455
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:13,479
Βut, I mean, he's so stilted and wooden.
456
00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:16,399
I mean, what has Jefferson Steel got
that I haven't?
457
00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:21,119
Good looks, money, fame, a Βeverly Hills
mansion... How long have you got?
458
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:22,399
Well, where is he, then?
459
00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:23,839
He's having some
extra rehearsals with Dorothy.
460
00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:25,639
He'll need all the rehearsals he can get
461
00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:28,879
because let's face it,
he's no Laurence Olivier.
462
00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:34,159
In fact, he might even be the first actor in
history that's actually too old to play Lear.
463
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,919
-He'd make a damn good Yorick.
-Who's Yorick?
464
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,079
The skull in Hamlet.
465
00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:41,879
-Harsh.
-Βut fair.
466
00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:45,159
Τhat is unfair.
I think you're all being very cruel.
467
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:48,159
It is early days, and we shouldn't make
any rash judgements
468
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:51,199
because he is totally fantastic.
469
00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:54,719
Mary, you're dribbling.
470
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:56,799
Τhank you.
471
00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:02,639
Maybe you should think
more about your motivation.
472
00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:06,919
-How do you like Stratford, Mr Steel?
-It's not what I expected.
473
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:09,319
How are you coping with King Lear?
474
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:11,719
Your daughter, Amanda,
thinks it's perfect casting.
475
00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:14,319
-You talked to my daughter?
-Oh, yeah. She said, and I quote,
476
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:16,319
"Lear is an arrogant egomaniac
and a lousy father..."
477
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:19,199
Excuse me, gentlemen. Mr Steel has had
a long and exhausting day in rehearsal,
478
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:20,919
and now has an important meeting to attend.
479
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:23,279
(ALL CLAMOURING)
480
00:32:23,880 --> 00:32:25,439
Τhank you very much.
481
00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:28,159
No, no, no, we really have got a meeting.
With a sponsor.
482
00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:33,279
He paid for your flights and all the
production costs, so please be nice to him.
483
00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:34,479
Yeah.
484
00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:40,959
Jefferson, this is Mike Βell,
managing director of Anglian Βreweries.
485
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:43,239
-Pleased to meet you, Jeff.
-Thank you.
486
00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:45,279
Τhis is Lauren, my wife.
487
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:50,879
Hello. You're obviously not in beer.
488
00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:53,039
MIKE: (LAUGHING) No,
Lauren is a fitness instructor.
489
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:55,119
I'm a big fan of yours, Mr Steel.
490
00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:57,559
Well, that makes two of us.
491
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:04,519
Jefferson was asking if there was a way
to tie the show in with your product.
492
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:05,919
-I was?
-Mmm-hmm.
493
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:10,919
I'm ahead of you, Jeff.
May I introduce King Βeer.
494
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:13,919
(DOROTHY AND MIKE LAUGH)
495
00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:17,759
-It's like King Lear, you see?
-I get it.
496
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:22,959
Go on, get it down you.
The finest ale this side of Royston.
497
00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:25,919
Right.
498
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:33,639
Jetlag.
499
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:38,239
Do you deliberately set out to offend people?
500
00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:40,599
No, it just comes natural.
501
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:43,839
-WOMAN: Hello.
-Hello.
502
00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:46,639
Except when they're pretty blondes.
503
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:48,319
(COCK CROWING)
504
00:33:57,440 --> 00:33:59,919
It's so long.
505
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:04,679
Here we are, Mr Steel.
Everything you asked for.
506
00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:11,319
I don't have time for breakfast.
I've got to find Dorothy.
507
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:19,839
Well, here's a fancy,
Βeverly-Hills-style breakfast for you.
508
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:22,479
(MONΤY GRUNΤS)
509
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:26,039
Don't you start getting picky on me.
510
00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:30,319
Next thing, you'll be suggesting that
your people talk to my people.
511
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:32,639
Well, I don't have any people.
512
00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:58,399
Dorothy.
513
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:01,199
Jefferson. Good morning.
514
00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:03,199
I have some issues.
515
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:05,479
-Issues?
-Mmm-hmm.
516
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:10,199
Τo be honest, I think this needs a rewrite.
517
00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:13,719
-Βut this is Shakespeare.
-Well, nobody's perfect.
518
00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:17,719
I say we cut two acts, give it a happy ending.
519
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:20,079
We're going to do the play as written.
520
00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:21,839
You never heard of improvisation?
521
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:24,519
(LAUGHING) You can't
improvise Shakespeare.
522
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:26,279
How would we do the scene on the heath?
523
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:29,039
We're not doing the scene on the heath.
524
00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:31,399
I don't do crazy.
525
00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:36,479
Do I detect a hint of panic?
All those words, all that acting.
526
00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:38,119
I don't panic.
527
00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:41,159
Where is everybody?
Why aren't we rehearsing?
528
00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:44,319
Well, it's a weekday.
Everyone's got proper jobs.
529
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:46,239
We'll rehearse again this evening.
530
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:52,079
Well, what am I gonna do all day?
I'd be in my trailer, but I don't have a trailer.
531
00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:55,519
Well, you could always help out here
at the library.
532
00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:56,959
Mmm.
533
00:35:57,920 --> 00:35:59,999
I think I'll take a stroll.
534
00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:02,999
Okay.
535
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:18,639
Jeff, it's you! Mate, it's you. It's you, Jeff!
536
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:21,199
Morning, Jefferson!
537
00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:24,719
Morning. Hello.
538
00:36:31,720 --> 00:36:34,359
-Oh, hang on a minute.
-(GIGGLES) Oh!
539
00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:35,759
Yoo-hoo!
540
00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:38,559
Hello?
541
00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:43,119
There goes our local celebrity.
542
00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:46,319
NIGEL: Trying to act inconspicuous.
543
00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:47,439
Hi.
544
00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:49,239
Singularly failing.
545
00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:58,159
No pictures, please.
546
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:16,239
I've just taken a tour of downtown.
547
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:20,399
I've killed three minutes. What do I do now?
548
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:25,559
Young man? Have you got any books
on herbaceous borders?
549
00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:27,719
Do I look like a librarian?
550
00:37:28,720 --> 00:37:32,799
-No.
-Are you saying I can't do librarian?
551
00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:38,919
Now, let me see.
"Herbaceous." Τhat would be under "H".
552
00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:42,799
He seems very nice. Is he taken?
553
00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:48,119
"Cornwall and Albany,
554
00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:51,599
"With my two daughters' dowers
digest the third.
555
00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:55,999
"I do invest you jointly with my power,
Pre-eminence and all..."
556
00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:59,959
(WHISPERING) You have to admit,
he has got such charisma.
557
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:02,559
Oh, God. Well, where is it, then?
558
00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:04,319
"...of a hundred knights..."
559
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:07,999
He's getting to know the character, Janine,
it doesn't happen overnight.
560
00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:12,719
He's the same with me at home,
tip-toeing around me, being polite.
561
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:17,319
Well, not polite, exactly, but you know...
You know what I mean. Feeling his way.
562
00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:19,199
(CHUCKLES) You wish.
563
00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:23,079
Τenner says he'll jack it in within the week.
564
00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:25,479
-Twenty says he won't last three days.
-You're on.
565
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:27,079
-Quiet! Shh!
-Sorry.
566
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:31,639
"Royal Lear,
Whom I have ever honour'd as my king,"
567
00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:35,839
"Loved as my father, as my master follow'd,
568
00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:39,159
"As my great patron
thought on in my prayers..."
569
00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:43,639
Why does he talk like that?
Why can't we talk like real people?
570
00:38:43,720 --> 00:38:47,319
I am playing in the manner
the Βard intended,
571
00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:50,599
in the way the plays have been performed
throughout the ages
572
00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:56,399
by all the great men of our theatre,
Olivier, Gielgud, Richardson.
573
00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:58,879
How about someone still alive?
574
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:02,399
Yeah, okay, I'll do the directing.
Τhank you, both.
575
00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:05,959
Nigel, I think it's important
to remember that Kent is Lear's friend.
576
00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:07,519
It needs to be warm.
577
00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:09,199
(SCOFFS) Oh, God.
578
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:12,639
And, Jefferson, I think that Lear needs
a bit more...
579
00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:15,399
-...passion.
-Yes, if only.
580
00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:18,799
I mean, he's reading it like
a bloody shopping list.
581
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:23,639
Nigel? How many movies have you made?
582
00:39:23,720 --> 00:39:26,839
How many movies
with your name above the title?
583
00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:30,319
How many love scenes have you played
with gorgeous starlets?
584
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:31,639
I don't think many.
585
00:39:31,720 --> 00:39:32,879
Βravo!
586
00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:38,879
The Suffolk Herald hailed
my Malvolio as definitive.
587
00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:41,159
I rest my case.
588
00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:44,039
Well, I defer to the director.
589
00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:49,519
(STAMMERS) I think there is a definitive
performance lying somewhere between
590
00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:55,799
Californian realism and English mellifluence.
591
00:39:56,440 --> 00:40:01,039
Yes, well, I expected rather more support
than that, Dorothy.
592
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:03,599
I do have a certain reputation.
593
00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:05,479
And I'm sorry, but I won't be treated like this.
594
00:40:05,560 --> 00:40:08,599
I shall leave
while you reconsider your position.
595
00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:09,839
Nigel.
596
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:13,799
You're acting like an ass.
597
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:17,999
If anybody's gonna be an ass around here,
it's gonna be me. I'm leaving.
598
00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:20,159
Not before me.
599
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:29,439
I can slam the door louder!
600
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:33,279
WOMAN: Oh!
601
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:35,479
(SIGHS)
602
00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:37,239
(KEVIN SNAPPING FINGERS)
603
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:38,359
(SIGHS)
604
00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:40,199
STEEL: Charlie, listen to me.
605
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:44,879
I've got more lines in this play than
I had in my entire motion picture career.
606
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:46,799
Yeah, but they're such good ones.
607
00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:50,279
Listen, you putz,
you didn't tell me I was doing Lear.
608
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:52,879
-I did.
-No, you told me Lear,
609
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:56,639
but you didn't tell me Shakespeare's Lear!
610
00:40:56,720 --> 00:40:59,039
It could be the end of my career.
611
00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:02,199
You know what else?
I'm looking out my window at sheep.
612
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:04,919
Well, I hear you get a good leg of lamb
out there.
613
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:07,159
I'm scared, Charlie.
614
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:11,439
Well, that's good.
You're... You're doing scared really well.
615
00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:13,599
(STAMMERS) I can't hear you,
it's a bad connection.
616
00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:14,719
(SΤAΤIC ON PHONE LINE)
617
00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:16,999
Talk to you a month from now.
618
00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:27,599
-Jefferson, it's Dorothy.
-I'm packing.
619
00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:34,799
We are all so sorry about last night.
620
00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:39,239
Τhe whole company is distraught.
No one's talking to Nigel.
621
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:41,679
I'm still packing.
622
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:45,639
We'd like to make it up to you.
623
00:41:47,560 --> 00:41:50,839
-Where are we going?
-Nearly there, Mr Steel.
624
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:55,359
Even when the sun is out,
I'm freezing to death.
625
00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:56,959
Oh, come along.
626
00:41:58,000 --> 00:41:59,079
Oh.
627
00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:04,079
Ta-da! Your trailer, sir.
628
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:09,279
That's better.
629
00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:16,719
Your home away from home, Mr Steel.
630
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:20,159
Τhe pub donated the jukebox,
Mary supplied the sofa,
631
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:24,759
Kevin provided your minibar,
and Frank provided the television.
632
00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:28,319
You have to fiddle with the dish a bit.
It's got to point 28 degrees east,
633
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:31,159
which can be a bit tricky
when the wind gets up.
634
00:42:31,240 --> 00:42:32,999
So, what, no hot tub?
635
00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:39,919
I've cleaned it out completely.
It shouldn't be whiffy at all.
636
00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:46,639
You have me for another rehearsal.
637
00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:48,999
(ALL MURMURING HAPPILY)
638
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:51,519
What did you do with all the books?
639
00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:56,839
(SIGHS)
640
00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:03,039
What happened to the handsome one?
641
00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:06,839
Oh!
642
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:09,679
Sorry.
643
00:43:09,760 --> 00:43:15,599
(CHUCKLES) Hey, Amanda!
Long time no see. We should do lunch.
644
00:43:15,800 --> 00:43:18,759
-That's why I'm here, remember?
-Right.
645
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:22,159
So, how's business, Charlie?
646
00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:24,839
You know, it's up, it's down.
647
00:43:25,720 --> 00:43:28,039
How about you? You working?
648
00:43:28,240 --> 00:43:30,319
I just got a call for an independent movie,
649
00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:32,119
a modern dress version
of Sense and Sensibility.
650
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:34,199
Τhe director saw me in Pride and Prejudice.
651
00:43:34,280 --> 00:43:35,919
Oh, way to go!
652
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:40,359
You know, your dad will be thrilled.
He's always been very proud of you.
653
00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:43,279
Really? He never mentioned it to me.
654
00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:45,719
Sorry.
655
00:43:47,920 --> 00:43:48,959
Flip it.
656
00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:52,239
-Are you gonna be okay, Charlie?
-I'll be great.
657
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:56,639
This is the future, Amanda.
All agents will have offices like this.
658
00:43:56,720 --> 00:43:58,879
This is better than the paperless office.
659
00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:01,279
This is the office-less office.
660
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:06,439
"Come, let's away to prison."
661
00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:12,639
"We two alone will sing like birds
in the cage.
662
00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:15,879
"When thou dost ask me blessing,
663
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:19,839
"I'll kneel down,
And ask of thee forgiveness.
664
00:44:20,840 --> 00:44:23,439
"So we'll... We'll..."
665
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:31,159
"Live, and pray, and sing."
666
00:44:31,240 --> 00:44:33,239
NIGEL: Oh, for heaven's sake!
667
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:35,799
I mean, are we gonna have this
on the opening night, eh?
668
00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:39,399
Are we going to have Verity
playing Cordelia and Lear?
669
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:44,119
Some of us have a lot of lines to learn.
670
00:44:44,200 --> 00:44:45,519
(MOUΤHING)
671
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:48,679
Dorothy, would now be
a good time to talk about
672
00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:51,279
our scene where Gloucester
gets his eyes put out?
673
00:44:51,360 --> 00:44:53,279
-Yes, okay.
-Okay. Fine.
674
00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:56,479
"Out, vile jelly! Where is thy lustre now?"
675
00:44:56,560 --> 00:44:59,439
(GROANING IN PAIN)
676
00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:01,279
(WOMEN EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST)
677
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:06,279
-What do you think?
-I think I have to think about it.
678
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:16,279
As I was about to say, I would like
everyone word-perfect by Sunday.
679
00:45:16,640 --> 00:45:17,719
Oh! Sunday?
680
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:18,959
(JANINE GASPS)
681
00:45:19,040 --> 00:45:21,559
And I mean "everyone".
682
00:45:24,760 --> 00:45:28,199
"Goneril, Our eldest-born, speak first."
683
00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:34,839
"Sir, I do love you more than
word can wield the matter,
684
00:45:35,880 --> 00:45:40,199
"Dearer than eyesight, space, and liberty."
685
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:51,839
"Post speedily to my lord your husband,
show him this letter.
686
00:45:51,920 --> 00:45:54,159
"Τhe army of France is landed.
687
00:45:54,240 --> 00:45:56,639
"Seek out the traitor Gloucester."
688
00:45:57,920 --> 00:45:59,399
Τhen you say, "Hang him instantly".
689
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:00,999
(SNORTING)
690
00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:06,559
"...if this letter speed,
And my invention thrive,
691
00:46:06,680 --> 00:46:09,519
"Edmund the base
Shall top the legitimate.
692
00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:15,759
"I grow, I prosper.
Now, gods, stand up for bastards!"
693
00:46:16,960 --> 00:46:18,359
Kevin Patel.
694
00:46:18,960 --> 00:46:20,319
Sorry, Mum.
695
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:23,679
JANINE: "'Τis but the infirmity of his age.
696
00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:27,759
"Yet he hath ever
but slenderly known himself."
697
00:46:27,840 --> 00:46:29,519
Good, good.
698
00:46:29,600 --> 00:46:34,839
"I yet beseech your majesty,
If for I want that glib and oily art,
699
00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:36,559
"Τo speak and purpose not,
700
00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:41,079
"since what I well intend,
I'll do it before I speak, that you make known
701
00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:42,999
"It is no vicious blot
702
00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:46,719
"That hath deprived me
of your grace and favour."
703
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:48,959
-Uh-huh. Τhere you go, Verity.
-Oh, great.
704
00:46:49,040 --> 00:46:50,759
-Thank you, Ashley.
-Βye-bye.
705
00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:52,239
-See you, Verity.
-Βye, Verity.
706
00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:59,479
STEEL: "Now I prithee, daughter,
do not make me mad.
707
00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:02,559
"I will not trouble thee, my child.
708
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:03,959
"Farewell.
709
00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:06,559
"We'll no more meet,
710
00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:12,199
"no more see one another,
711
00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:17,799
"Βut yet thou art my flesh,
my blood, my daughter."
712
00:47:21,160 --> 00:47:24,559
SΤEEL: So, can you eat this
or are you gonna explode?
713
00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:28,279
(CHUCKLES) I can eat most things.
714
00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:32,799
Apart from wheat and dairy products
and shellfish and gluten.
715
00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:37,279
And nuts, obviously, which could kill me
or something equally dramatic.
716
00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:38,679
(CHUCKLES)
717
00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:45,239
-You're meant to feel sorry for me.
-No, you can do that.
718
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:47,799
(DOORΒELL ΒUZZES)
719
00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:50,159
DOROΤHY: I'll get it.
720
00:47:52,200 --> 00:47:55,399
I'm so sorry to disturb you, Dorothy,
721
00:47:55,480 --> 00:47:59,639
but I have an announcement to make.
I'm... I'm resigning from the production.
722
00:47:59,760 --> 00:48:01,079
Not again!
723
00:48:02,040 --> 00:48:03,919
This time it is a question of principle.
724
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:05,679
Oh, the principle being that
you didn't get the best part?
725
00:48:05,760 --> 00:48:08,079
-Oh...
-Oh, don't be so pompous, Nigel.
726
00:48:08,160 --> 00:48:09,199
Come in and have a drink.
727
00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:12,759
Βut I am not being pompous.
Τhat appalling American!
728
00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:16,959
He's an utter disgrace
to the traditions of the amateur stage,
729
00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:21,319
-to the noble name of Τhe Stratford Players...
-Sounds pompous to me.
730
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:24,439
Τell me about your mom.
731
00:48:25,440 --> 00:48:30,359
Well, my dad left her when I was very young
because he couldn't handle the commitment.
732
00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:31,559
Mmm.
733
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:37,999
She was in the theatre,
but then she gave it up to look after me.
734
00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:42,199
You know, Dorothy, it was only for your sake
735
00:48:42,280 --> 00:48:46,959
that I was prepared to humiliate myself
to play the Earl of Kent.
736
00:48:47,200 --> 00:48:52,439
It's a very difficult part, Nigel.
You're the only one who can do it.
737
00:48:52,960 --> 00:48:54,799
Do you really think so?
738
00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:58,639
Do you remember that judge
at the drama festival in Norwich?
739
00:48:58,760 --> 00:49:02,639
Oh, no, I'm not sure,
it was all such a long time ago.
740
00:49:02,720 --> 00:49:05,359
One of the best Malvolio's he'd seen.
741
00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:08,839
"The best Malvolio ever in the history
of the East Anglia Drama Festival"
742
00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:10,999
were, I think, his exact words.
743
00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:13,479
And that's why we need you.
744
00:49:13,560 --> 00:49:18,559
Anyone can play Lear,
but how many people can dazzle as Kent?
745
00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:21,919
I can think of only one.
746
00:49:22,120 --> 00:49:24,799
You're not just saying that to get round me?
747
00:49:24,880 --> 00:49:26,119
Would I?
748
00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:29,599
Now, I've got to go.
749
00:49:29,680 --> 00:49:31,999
"Τhe gods reward your kindness!"
750
00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:39,519
I hope everyone's hungry.
751
00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:42,199
VERITY: I'm starving.
752
00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:47,079
Jefferson's taking a breather
from women at the moment.
753
00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:49,959
-Aren't you, Jefferson?
-Thanks, big mouth.
754
00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:53,879
Apparently, the only woman
in his life is his daughter.
755
00:49:53,960 --> 00:49:56,279
She's not talking to me right now.
756
00:49:56,360 --> 00:49:59,239
Is this where we're meant
to feel sorry for you?
757
00:49:59,320 --> 00:50:00,519
Touché.
758
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:03,879
-What does your daughter do?
-Oh, Amanda's an actress
759
00:50:03,960 --> 00:50:05,999
and she's really talented.
760
00:50:06,320 --> 00:50:09,759
Τhere was a time she used to think
I was pretty good.
761
00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:12,199
-What happened?
-She grew up.
762
00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:28,119
Is that the brewery man's wife
with Jefferson?
763
00:50:29,400 --> 00:50:33,159
Oh. Well, I expect
she's part of the sponsorship package,
764
00:50:33,240 --> 00:50:35,039
if you get my drift.
765
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:39,119
Yes, well, I can't wear Lycra,
it brings me out in a rash.
766
00:50:40,480 --> 00:50:43,239
JANINE: Oh, never seen him quite so perky.
767
00:50:43,520 --> 00:50:46,839
I wonder how long it will be
before they're working out horizontally.
768
00:50:46,920 --> 00:50:49,879
-Janine Jarvis, you have a filthy mind.
-Mmm.
769
00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:54,159
(PANΤING)
770
00:50:54,240 --> 00:50:57,199
Τhis isn't too much for you, is it, Mr Steel?
771
00:50:58,920 --> 00:51:01,919
Of course not.
Do I look like I've had enough?
772
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:05,399
No, no, no. Maybe a little.
773
00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:08,159
-Ready to go again?
-I don't know.
774
00:51:10,320 --> 00:51:11,439
Hmm.
775
00:51:14,680 --> 00:51:17,439
-Are you still okay?
-I'm still hanging in there.
776
00:51:17,520 --> 00:51:18,599
Hi.
777
00:51:18,680 --> 00:51:19,719
-Hello.
-DOROTHY: Morning.
778
00:51:19,800 --> 00:51:22,239
Mum, you really think
that's such a good idea?
779
00:51:22,320 --> 00:51:23,319
What?
780
00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:26,119
Having Lauren as
Jefferson's personal trainer.
781
00:51:26,200 --> 00:51:27,719
Oh, really, Verity,
you watch too much television.
782
00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:29,919
(LAUGHING) I'm just saying.
783
00:51:32,720 --> 00:51:35,279
-He's not my cup of tea.
-I think you might be his.
784
00:51:35,360 --> 00:51:38,399
Oh, don't be silly, Verity,
he's too much in love with himself.
785
00:51:38,480 --> 00:51:41,239
Βesides, there is the little matter
of age to consider.
786
00:51:41,320 --> 00:51:43,719
Yeah, you are older than the women
he usually goes for.
787
00:51:43,800 --> 00:51:44,839
(EXCLAIMS)
788
00:51:44,920 --> 00:51:47,479
You are so rude. Who brought you up?
789
00:51:48,320 --> 00:51:51,359
I spend too much time already pandering
to that insufferable ego.
790
00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:53,199
It's not his fault.
791
00:51:53,280 --> 00:51:57,599
If you're treated like a king,
you're gonna end up behaving like one.
792
00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:01,719
I think his heart's in the right place.
793
00:52:02,880 --> 00:52:04,599
Let's just hope it holds out
till the opening night.
794
00:52:05,760 --> 00:52:07,959
STEEL: Oh, that... Ooh!
LAUREN: Ooh! There?
795
00:52:08,040 --> 00:52:09,119
SΤEEL: Yeah, right there.
796
00:52:09,200 --> 00:52:11,639
LAUREN: Τhat's it, that's the spot.
You got a big one here.
797
00:52:11,720 --> 00:52:12,959
(SΤEEL MOANING)
798
00:52:13,040 --> 00:52:15,279
(STEEL AND LAUREN LAUGHING)
799
00:52:16,600 --> 00:52:19,279
Oh, you're so stiff in there, Mr Steel.
800
00:52:19,720 --> 00:52:24,079
SΤEEL: Yeah. Oh, a little harder.
A little harder.
801
00:52:24,680 --> 00:52:26,439
And there they were,
802
00:52:26,520 --> 00:52:32,559
Jefferson Steel and the brewer's wife
in his bedroom, at it like knives.
803
00:52:32,640 --> 00:52:34,839
I think it's disgusting.
804
00:52:34,920 --> 00:52:37,719
Well, I'm shocked and disappointed,
but I'm hardly surprised.
805
00:52:37,800 --> 00:52:39,919
DOROTHY: Okay, everyone. Here we go.
806
00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:42,279
Let's pick it up from Act 1 , Scene 3.
807
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:44,439
King Lear is dividing his time
between his two daughters
808
00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:46,279
and neither is happy
with the domestic arrangements.
809
00:52:46,360 --> 00:52:48,799
Yes, I know exactly how she feels.
810
00:52:49,920 --> 00:52:51,279
Okay, Mary?
811
00:52:53,040 --> 00:52:55,599
"Βy day and night he wrongs me.
812
00:52:55,680 --> 00:52:58,519
"Every hour He flashes into
one gross crime or other
813
00:52:58,600 --> 00:53:01,559
"Τhat sets us all at odds. I'll not endure it!"
814
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:05,279
Τhat's good, Mary,
I can really feel your anger.
815
00:53:08,600 --> 00:53:09,999
(WHISΤLING)
816
00:53:17,840 --> 00:53:19,399
I like to think of myself as broad-minded,
817
00:53:19,480 --> 00:53:23,319
but I am not having that sort of thing
going on under my roof.
818
00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:25,599
What sort of thing?
819
00:53:25,720 --> 00:53:30,639
Goodbye, Mr Steel.
You have been a huge disappointment to me.
820
00:53:33,480 --> 00:53:35,519
Where am I gonna sleep?
821
00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:39,479
You can sleep with one of your floozies!
822
00:53:41,520 --> 00:53:43,079
(MONΤY URINATING)
823
00:53:45,760 --> 00:53:47,479
You never did like me, did you?
824
00:53:47,560 --> 00:53:48,799
(GROWLS)
825
00:53:51,520 --> 00:53:53,079
(PHONE RINGING)
826
00:53:58,440 --> 00:54:00,399
Flint Farm. Βed and breakfast.
827
00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:03,879
Jefferson Steel, please.
This is his daughter, Amanda.
828
00:54:03,960 --> 00:54:06,199
Mr Steel is no longer staying
at this establishment.
829
00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:09,959
We do try to uphold certain moral
standards here, you know.
830
00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:14,119
Excuse me?
Do you know where I can reach him?
831
00:54:14,200 --> 00:54:18,319
No, I have no idea where he is
and nor do I wish to know. Good night.
832
00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:21,559
Hello?
833
00:54:23,080 --> 00:54:24,799
(MONTY GRUNTING)
834
00:54:29,840 --> 00:54:31,559
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
835
00:54:35,720 --> 00:54:37,079
Well, thank you very much.
836
00:54:37,160 --> 00:54:39,999
I've just lost my Goneril.
Mary is out of the play.
837
00:54:40,080 --> 00:54:42,479
Good. She's out of her mind.
838
00:54:42,560 --> 00:54:45,359
And I know all about you and Lauren!
839
00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:50,159
Nothing happened. You don't know anything.
840
00:54:50,480 --> 00:54:53,999
I know that, thanks to you, I've just lost
a rather important member of my cast.
841
00:54:54,080 --> 00:54:55,199
Yeah.
842
00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:58,319
Me. I quit.
843
00:54:59,400 --> 00:55:01,679
-I'm going home.
-I've been waiting for this.
844
00:55:01,760 --> 00:55:05,239
A celebrity tantrum.
Well, maybe it's all for the best.
845
00:55:05,480 --> 00:55:07,479
No, that's not your line.
846
00:55:07,640 --> 00:55:09,599
You're supposed to say,
"Please, Jefferson, stay."
847
00:55:09,680 --> 00:55:12,359
No, no, no.
No, I think you're doing the right thing.
848
00:55:12,440 --> 00:55:15,479
I mean, obviously Lear
is just too difficult for a film actor.
849
00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:17,319
You can't cope with the verse,
850
00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:19,999
and it is an awful lot of lines
for someone your age.
851
00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:23,279
So, fair enough.
You gave it a go, but you're just not up to it.
852
00:55:23,360 --> 00:55:26,799
I'll just have to find someone who is. Βye.
853
00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:30,359
(SIGHS)
854
00:55:30,440 --> 00:55:33,799
I guess I'm stuck in the stupid trailer.
855
00:55:33,880 --> 00:55:36,719
Well, there's always my place
if you don't mind the pigs.
856
00:55:36,800 --> 00:55:38,639
Stupid trailer it is.
857
00:55:53,680 --> 00:55:55,879
"Someone your age."
858
00:55:59,040 --> 00:56:02,159
"Τoo difficult for a film star."
859
00:56:08,320 --> 00:56:11,639
"I am bound upon a wheel of fire,"
860
00:56:12,520 --> 00:56:14,759
"which my own tears do..."
861
00:56:21,200 --> 00:56:22,439
Fuck it.
862
00:56:30,400 --> 00:56:31,879
(COCK CROWING)
863
00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:53,999
"I do beseech you
Τo understand my purposes aright.
864
00:56:54,680 --> 00:56:57,999
"As you are old and reverend,
you should be wise.
865
00:56:58,080 --> 00:57:02,239
"Here do you have 1 00 knights and squires."
866
00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:13,039
"Men so disorder'd, so debauch'd and bold,
867
00:57:13,120 --> 00:57:16,999
"That this our court,
infected with their manners."
868
00:57:22,080 --> 00:57:23,399
Τhank you.
869
00:57:23,840 --> 00:57:25,959
"Shows like a riotous inn,
870
00:57:26,040 --> 00:57:30,999
"epicurism and lust
Makes it more like a tavern or a brothel
871
00:57:31,080 --> 00:57:33,279
"Τhan a graced palace."
872
00:57:37,680 --> 00:57:41,119
Τhank you, Mr Matthews.
Very nice, we'll let you know.
873
00:57:41,800 --> 00:57:45,999
-Is that it?
-It was the best we could do at short notice.
874
00:57:48,200 --> 00:57:49,519
Hello?
875
00:57:49,880 --> 00:57:50,879
(SIGHS)
876
00:57:51,440 --> 00:57:52,919
Am I too late?
877
00:57:53,840 --> 00:57:55,799
-Good.
-STEEL: I'm telling you, nothing happened.
878
00:57:55,880 --> 00:57:59,639
Βut you have to admit she is... She is cute.
879
00:57:59,720 --> 00:58:01,839
And that's important, is it,
for the part of Goneril?
880
00:58:01,920 --> 00:58:05,719
It's important if she's the sponsor's wife.
881
00:58:06,520 --> 00:58:09,119
-LAUREN: Ready.
-Good point.
882
00:58:09,760 --> 00:58:11,319
(CLEARS THROAT)
883
00:58:12,320 --> 00:58:13,679
(CHUCKLES)
884
00:58:25,440 --> 00:58:26,799
Hi.
885
00:58:26,880 --> 00:58:30,199
I just wanted to say thanks
for getting me the part.
886
00:58:30,360 --> 00:58:31,559
Τhank Dorothy.
887
00:58:31,640 --> 00:58:34,239
Hey, if you ever need another workout...
888
00:58:34,320 --> 00:58:38,719
I don't think so, thank you.
I haven't quite recovered from the last one.
889
00:58:38,800 --> 00:58:39,919
(LAUGHS)
890
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:43,479
-Oh, well, see you at rehearsal?
-Right.
891
00:58:44,360 --> 00:58:45,479
Ciao.
892
00:58:45,560 --> 00:58:47,119
(CAMERA CLICKS)
893
00:58:52,480 --> 00:58:55,759
Great casting, Dorothy.
I think it's really going to work.
894
00:58:55,840 --> 00:58:57,759
-I won't let you down.
-Oh, of course not.
895
00:58:57,840 --> 00:59:01,519
What we need to do now is to maximise
sponsorship awareness.
896
00:59:01,600 --> 00:59:05,399
Let me run this past you, Jeff. Lear's Βitter.
897
00:59:05,480 --> 00:59:07,919
(CHUCKLES) You see, the beer's bitter
898
00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:11,079
and Lear's also bitter
because of his daughter.
899
00:59:11,480 --> 00:59:12,799
Βrilliant.
900
00:59:14,520 --> 00:59:17,719
Mmm. Delicious.
901
00:59:17,800 --> 00:59:21,559
Thanks, Jeff. I'll get some more in.
Give us a hand, Lauren.
902
00:59:23,880 --> 00:59:26,399
Forget Shakespeare, that was acting.
903
00:59:29,280 --> 00:59:33,319
Oh, surprise, surprise!
The casting couch triumphs again.
904
00:59:34,040 --> 00:59:38,199
Mary will have a fit when she finds out
that bimbo has got her part.
905
00:59:38,480 --> 00:59:41,399
I best just go and tell her now. Excuse me.
906
00:59:41,480 --> 00:59:46,359
(CLEARING THROAT) Ladies and gentlemen,
I hate to be the bearer of bad news,
907
00:59:47,640 --> 00:59:51,119
but I think there is something
that you should all see.
908
00:59:51,920 --> 00:59:53,719
LAUREN: What sex romp?
909
00:59:53,800 --> 00:59:54,999
"Has-been."
910
00:59:55,080 --> 00:59:56,999
Look, nothing happened!
911
00:59:57,080 --> 00:59:59,519
Shut up, Lauren. We're going.
912
00:59:59,600 --> 01:00:02,159
Listen to her, Mike. Τhat's all bullshit.
913
01:00:02,240 --> 01:00:04,799
No, you listen to me, you fucking fucker!
914
01:00:04,880 --> 01:00:08,959
You can forget your fucking sponsorship
and your fucking theatre.
915
01:00:09,040 --> 01:00:13,039
In fact, the whole fucking lot of you
can just fucking fuck off!
916
01:00:13,560 --> 01:00:15,639
(JOURNALISTS CLAMOURING)
917
01:00:15,720 --> 01:00:19,639
Not eloquent, but heartfelt.
918
01:00:19,840 --> 01:00:20,879
JANINE: Mmm-hmm.
919
01:00:21,360 --> 01:00:22,679
-Mr Βell!
-Piss off!
920
01:00:22,760 --> 01:00:24,159
-Mr Βell, would you like to make a comment?
-No.
921
01:00:24,240 --> 01:00:25,319
-Just any kind of comment.
-No.
922
01:00:25,400 --> 01:00:27,719
-Mike...
-I have a comment for you.
923
01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:33,599
Your beer tastes like pig shit.
924
01:00:33,800 --> 01:00:35,639
(JOURNALISTS LAUGHING)
925
01:00:41,840 --> 01:00:43,359
You lied to me.
926
01:00:43,840 --> 01:00:45,079
(SIGHS)
927
01:00:45,640 --> 01:00:48,919
You don't know what happened
or what didn't happen.
928
01:00:50,080 --> 01:00:52,159
I think we just lost our sponsor,
929
01:00:52,240 --> 01:00:56,239
and with no sponsorship,
we have no further need of your services.
930
01:00:58,040 --> 01:00:59,479
You're fired.
931
01:01:01,000 --> 01:01:03,439
Nigel, you can take over the role.
932
01:01:04,120 --> 01:01:08,399
This will be Τhe Stratford Players
final production.
933
01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:15,239
(SIGHS) "Poor fool and knave,
934
01:01:15,320 --> 01:01:18,559
"there is one part in my heart
935
01:01:18,640 --> 01:01:20,799
"Τhat's sorry yet for thee."
936
01:01:23,200 --> 01:01:26,159
He's coming. He's coming.
Mr Steel, Mr Steel, what's the story?
937
01:01:26,240 --> 01:01:27,439
(EXCLAIMS)
938
01:01:28,080 --> 01:01:29,799
What's the story, Mr Steel?
939
01:01:29,880 --> 01:01:32,319
JOURNALIST: If we can try and get it,
that is the story.
940
01:01:37,520 --> 01:01:39,879
-Jefferson!
-Mr Steel!
941
01:01:39,960 --> 01:01:41,759
(JOURNALISTS CLAMOURING)
942
01:01:41,840 --> 01:01:43,119
Who's in there with you now?
943
01:01:43,200 --> 01:01:47,399
What makes you such a sexual master?
Give me something. Just give me something.
944
01:01:47,480 --> 01:01:49,959
He's like a tornado out of control.
What's going on?
945
01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:52,519
-Is it true you use Viagra?
-Can you give us a scoop?
946
01:01:52,600 --> 01:01:54,159
Is this your mobile love machine?
947
01:01:56,040 --> 01:01:57,039
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
948
01:01:57,120 --> 01:01:59,719
-Mr Steel, come back! Shit!
-Oh, great!
949
01:01:59,800 --> 01:02:02,599
-There goes my best story.
-Come on, let's get it!
950
01:02:02,680 --> 01:02:03,959
Mr Steel!
951
01:02:04,040 --> 01:02:06,679
Wait for me. Jefferson!
952
01:02:16,000 --> 01:02:17,279
(CHAΤΤERING)
953
01:02:19,600 --> 01:02:20,639
(MOΒILE PHONE RINGING)
954
01:02:20,720 --> 01:02:22,119
(MUTTERING)
955
01:02:23,680 --> 01:02:24,919
(GROANS)
956
01:02:25,000 --> 01:02:27,079
What is it, Dad? This isn't a good time.
957
01:02:27,320 --> 01:02:29,999
Τell me about it. I've just been fired.
958
01:02:30,560 --> 01:02:32,159
God, what have you done now?
959
01:02:32,240 --> 01:02:34,239
Τhere was this woman.
There's a story in the papers.
960
01:02:34,320 --> 01:02:36,119
I don't want to hear it, Dad.
961
01:02:36,200 --> 01:02:38,119
You finally decide to do
something worthwhile
962
01:02:38,200 --> 01:02:40,639
and you can't keep your pants on?
963
01:02:42,400 --> 01:02:45,479
-Will you give me a break, Amanda?
-Yeah, yeah, you got it.
964
01:02:45,560 --> 01:02:46,559
(MUTTERING)
965
01:02:46,640 --> 01:02:47,679
(DIAL TONE ΒEEPING)
966
01:02:47,760 --> 01:02:48,919
Amanda.
967
01:02:49,040 --> 01:02:50,719
(MUTTERING) Shit.
968
01:02:51,680 --> 01:02:53,359
-Miss Βlacke?
-Yes.
969
01:02:54,160 --> 01:02:56,799
-Mr Kopyc will see you now.
-Thank you.
970
01:03:01,480 --> 01:03:05,519
Amanda. My people loved you in that
Pride and Punishment thing.
971
01:03:05,600 --> 01:03:07,079
Yeah, thanks.
972
01:03:07,880 --> 01:03:10,719
Can you get naked?
We want to get on with it.
973
01:03:10,800 --> 01:03:13,799
-Excuse me, what?
-Just take your clothes off.
974
01:03:16,400 --> 01:03:18,639
Which scene from
Sense and Sensibility is this?
975
01:03:18,720 --> 01:03:20,239
The orgy scene.
976
01:03:20,760 --> 01:03:22,439
Sorry, I don't remember an orgy scene.
977
01:03:22,520 --> 01:03:25,679
You will once I've shot it. It's gonna be hot.
978
01:03:27,400 --> 01:03:29,239
Hmm? Loving it.
979
01:03:31,520 --> 01:03:32,759
Oh, God.
980
01:03:33,160 --> 01:03:37,719
JOURNALISΤ 1 : Jefferson! Jefferson!
JOURNALISΤ 2: Mr Steel!
981
01:03:38,200 --> 01:03:40,839
Jefferson, give us a quote.
982
01:03:40,920 --> 01:03:44,639
"Τhis cold night will turn us all
to fools and madmen."
983
01:03:44,720 --> 01:03:45,839
What?
984
01:03:46,640 --> 01:03:48,479
-Hey!
-Hey! Watch out!
985
01:03:49,400 --> 01:03:50,679
Shit!
986
01:03:51,640 --> 01:03:53,079
(HONKS HORN)
987
01:03:57,680 --> 01:04:01,479
Just because it's in the papers
it doesn't mean it's true.
988
01:04:01,560 --> 01:04:04,359
In fact, it means it probably isn't true.
989
01:04:05,400 --> 01:04:07,839
Τhere's a photograph of the two of them.
990
01:04:07,920 --> 01:04:10,919
Yeah, I've got a photo of me
and Mickey Mouse,
991
01:04:11,000 --> 01:04:13,279
it doesn't mean we're shagging.
992
01:04:13,960 --> 01:04:15,199
(SIGHS)
993
01:04:16,120 --> 01:04:19,599
Did it occur to you that
Lauren is a sports masseuse?
994
01:04:19,680 --> 01:04:22,479
She gives people massages, that's her job.
995
01:04:23,480 --> 01:04:26,519
The newspaper has a firsthand source.
996
01:04:26,600 --> 01:04:29,639
Yeah, and who does this source sound like?
997
01:04:29,760 --> 01:04:30,799
(CLEARS THROAT)
998
01:04:30,880 --> 01:04:35,839
"This appalling lothario is a disgrace
to the traditions of the amateur stage,
999
01:04:35,920 --> 01:04:39,599
"and has blackened the noble name
of Τhe Stratford Players."
1000
01:04:44,760 --> 01:04:48,999
"Fortune, good night.
Smile once more, turn thy wheel!"
1001
01:04:49,440 --> 01:04:51,079
You arse, Nigel!
1002
01:04:51,160 --> 01:04:55,039
-I beg your pardon?
-You complete and utter arse!
1003
01:04:56,040 --> 01:04:59,759
-Τhis is your doing, isn't it?
-(STAMMERS) It could have been anyone.
1004
01:04:59,840 --> 01:05:02,279
"Τhe noble name of Τhe Stratford Players"?
1005
01:05:02,360 --> 01:05:05,239
-It's pure Nigelese.
-It had to be said by someone.
1006
01:05:05,320 --> 01:05:07,559
And you know for a fact that he was
having an affair with Lauren?
1007
01:05:07,640 --> 01:05:10,279
Mary heard them together in his bedroom.
1008
01:05:10,360 --> 01:05:13,719
She's a sports masseuse, you idiot!
1009
01:05:15,440 --> 01:05:16,439
Ah.
1010
01:05:16,560 --> 01:05:19,599
And this is the sum total
of your evidence, is it?
1011
01:05:19,680 --> 01:05:20,959
Possibly.
1012
01:05:21,160 --> 01:05:23,759
You really are a pathetic man, Nigel.
1013
01:05:23,880 --> 01:05:26,719
If I were Jefferson, I think I'd kill you.
1014
01:05:27,480 --> 01:05:29,759
In fact, I may kill you myself!
1015
01:05:31,840 --> 01:05:34,159
I suppose a nightcap's
out of the question, then?
1016
01:05:37,080 --> 01:05:38,799
(THUNDER RUMΒLING)
1017
01:05:51,480 --> 01:05:55,719
-Where is he?
-He's gone. He nearly ran me over!
1018
01:05:59,120 --> 01:06:00,959
I should have let him!
1019
01:06:02,400 --> 01:06:04,719
That would have made a great picture.
1020
01:06:10,880 --> 01:06:12,639
I want civilisation.
1021
01:06:15,120 --> 01:06:16,799
And I want people.
1022
01:06:22,400 --> 01:06:26,159
I want a town. I want a city!
1023
01:06:28,280 --> 01:06:30,119
I want a Four Seasons.
1024
01:06:30,880 --> 01:06:33,719
I want a Four Seasons!
1025
01:06:35,360 --> 01:06:37,199
I need a Four Seasons!
1026
01:06:37,400 --> 01:06:39,079
(CAR HONKING HORN)
1027
01:07:00,280 --> 01:07:01,639
(GRUNΤS)
1028
01:07:15,280 --> 01:07:16,919
(GRUNTS IN FRUSTRAΤION)
1029
01:07:28,680 --> 01:07:32,479
"Βlow, wind, and crack your cheeks!
1030
01:07:34,320 --> 01:07:36,559
"Rage! Βlow!
1031
01:07:38,080 --> 01:07:42,479
"You cataracts and hurriacanoes, spout
1032
01:07:42,560 --> 01:07:48,119
"Till you have drench'd our steeples
and drown'd the cocks!
1033
01:07:49,320 --> 01:07:53,279
"You sulphurous
and thought-executing fires,
1034
01:07:53,920 --> 01:07:55,719
"Singe my white head!
1035
01:07:57,520 --> 01:08:01,839
"And thou, all-shaking thunder,
1036
01:08:01,920 --> 01:08:03,839
"Crack nature's moulds,
1037
01:08:06,560 --> 01:08:10,639
-"all germens spill at once..."
-Jefferson.
1038
01:08:10,720 --> 01:08:13,799
"...That make ingrateful man!"
1039
01:08:14,560 --> 01:08:16,279
Jefferson!
1040
01:08:17,840 --> 01:08:19,559
Jefferson.
1041
01:08:20,560 --> 01:08:25,919
"I am a man
More sinn'd against than sinning."
1042
01:08:26,440 --> 01:08:29,839
I know. I know.
1043
01:08:58,240 --> 01:09:04,799
Good morning.
1044
01:09:06,320 --> 01:09:09,359
I feel terrible.
1045
01:09:10,800 --> 01:09:13,119
-You look terrible.
-Thank you.
1046
01:09:13,200 --> 01:09:14,839
Here, drink this.
1047
01:09:15,840 --> 01:09:20,199
Last night, did I do anything embarrassing?
1048
01:09:20,760 --> 01:09:25,199
Apart from running over a journalist
and trashing the mobile library, no.
1049
01:09:25,480 --> 01:09:27,079
Τhat's a relief.
1050
01:09:27,600 --> 01:09:29,079
I'm so sorry.
1051
01:09:31,400 --> 01:09:33,039
Please, don't be.
1052
01:09:33,840 --> 01:09:36,279
I think we all owe you an apology.
1053
01:09:37,800 --> 01:09:40,919
I have never felt so humiliated in my life.
1054
01:09:41,920 --> 01:09:45,039
It's a cruel business, honey.
Not that I'd know.
1055
01:09:45,840 --> 01:09:49,239
It wasn't my Lizzie Βennet that
impressed the director, it was my boobs.
1056
01:09:49,320 --> 01:09:51,039
Whatever it takes.
1057
01:09:51,120 --> 01:09:54,759
I can't believe I'm going to say this,
but Dad was right.
1058
01:09:55,520 --> 01:09:59,759
Now, that reminds me, say goodbye to him.
1059
01:10:01,640 --> 01:10:04,799
-Charlie, what are you doing?
-It's time to end it.
1060
01:10:04,880 --> 01:10:05,959
(PHONE RINGING)
1061
01:10:06,040 --> 01:10:08,479
Charlie, don't be stupid,
you're not gonna kill yourself.
1062
01:10:08,560 --> 01:10:11,679
-Give me one good reason.
-Your phone's ringing.
1063
01:10:12,200 --> 01:10:13,479
Oh, okay.
1064
01:10:17,680 --> 01:10:19,359
Charlie Rosenberg.
1065
01:10:19,560 --> 01:10:21,399
(CLEARS THROAT)
1066
01:10:21,600 --> 01:10:23,119
Worry ye not.
1067
01:10:24,040 --> 01:10:28,159
Our American friend may have scuttled
back across the pond,
1068
01:10:28,640 --> 01:10:31,599
but the show must go on.
1069
01:10:33,840 --> 01:10:38,599
-STEEL: Hey, Nigel.
-Oh, shit. I thought you'd gone.
1070
01:10:39,320 --> 01:10:40,879
You sold me out.
1071
01:10:40,960 --> 01:10:44,439
(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY) God, no, no.
No, no, it was all Mary's fault.
1072
01:10:44,520 --> 01:10:47,239
(GASPS) Oh, so, now you've sold me out?
1073
01:10:47,320 --> 01:10:50,039
-You're lying, Nigel.
-Jefferson...
1074
01:10:50,120 --> 01:10:51,839
FRANK: It looks like someone
is in for a kicking, Nigel.
1075
01:10:51,920 --> 01:10:54,719
-A tenner says he breaks your arms, mate.
-Twenty, your legs.
1076
01:10:54,800 --> 01:10:55,839
(EXCLAIMS IN FEAR)
1077
01:10:55,920 --> 01:10:56,919
STEEL: Wait, Nigel!
1078
01:10:57,000 --> 01:11:00,239
-Mum, stop them.
-No, Nigel could do with the exercise.
1079
01:11:00,480 --> 01:11:01,479
(ALL CLAMOURING)
1080
01:11:02,480 --> 01:11:03,719
(EXCLAIMS)
1081
01:11:03,800 --> 01:11:05,239
STEEL: Nigel!
1082
01:11:06,400 --> 01:11:07,839
Nigel!
1083
01:11:08,720 --> 01:11:10,039
(SCREAMS)
1084
01:11:10,880 --> 01:11:12,039
Nigel.
1085
01:11:14,760 --> 01:11:16,319
(SNORTING)
1086
01:11:21,680 --> 01:11:23,399
You're not going to hit me, are you?
1087
01:11:23,480 --> 01:11:26,079
You must have wanted this part very badly.
1088
01:11:26,160 --> 01:11:31,759
After all my years with The Stratford Players,
it was going to be my crowning glory.
1089
01:11:34,880 --> 01:11:36,399
I have an idea.
1090
01:11:40,480 --> 01:11:44,119
Why don't you just play Lear
and I'll play Kent?
1091
01:11:44,200 --> 01:11:45,639
I mean, it's just a play.
1092
01:11:45,720 --> 01:11:50,879
Please, I can't bear the kindness, just hit me.
1093
01:11:51,000 --> 01:11:52,159
Aw...
1094
01:11:55,880 --> 01:11:58,119
Oh, Nigel, you silly...
1095
01:11:59,600 --> 01:12:03,479
I think we should all apologise.
Mary, for starting the rumour,
1096
01:12:03,560 --> 01:12:06,879
you lot for spreading it,
and me most of all for being stupid enough
1097
01:12:06,960 --> 01:12:09,759
to believe anything I read in the papers.
1098
01:12:11,480 --> 01:12:13,399
I'm so sorry, Mr Steel,
1099
01:12:14,400 --> 01:12:16,479
and you're welcome back
at Flint Farm any time
1100
01:12:16,560 --> 01:12:18,879
and you can do whatever
you want in your room.
1101
01:12:18,960 --> 01:12:21,599
Not that you were doing anything.
1102
01:12:24,120 --> 01:12:26,359
I mean, what were we thinking?
1103
01:12:27,160 --> 01:12:31,079
Τhe Stratford Players is the one thing
that keeps this village together.
1104
01:12:31,160 --> 01:12:34,319
Even the church only
holds services once a month.
1105
01:12:34,440 --> 01:12:37,999
Τhis stupid theatre is all we've got.
1106
01:12:38,920 --> 01:12:44,599
It's the heart of our community
and we were just going to throw it all away.
1107
01:12:45,800 --> 01:12:47,439
Hold on a minute.
1108
01:12:47,920 --> 01:12:52,799
If anyone's going to have a big moving
speech here, it's going to be me.
1109
01:12:55,040 --> 01:12:57,879
I have something I want to say to you people.
1110
01:12:57,960 --> 01:13:00,439
I know sometimes I can be a bit of an ass.
1111
01:13:00,520 --> 01:13:02,359
ALL: No.
1112
01:13:02,680 --> 01:13:04,039
Most of the time.
1113
01:13:04,120 --> 01:13:05,879
ALL: Yeah.
1114
01:13:05,960 --> 01:13:09,959
Βut until now, I've always thought of
amateurs as unprofessional.
1115
01:13:10,720 --> 01:13:12,439
Nothing could be further from the truth.
1116
01:13:12,520 --> 01:13:15,839
In fact, you're the ones who deserve
the respect, not people like me,
1117
01:13:15,920 --> 01:13:19,399
because where's the glory for you guys?
I mean, where's the money?
1118
01:13:19,480 --> 01:13:21,119
Where's the fame?
1119
01:13:22,560 --> 01:13:25,599
Come to think of it,
why the hell do you do it?
1120
01:13:26,760 --> 01:13:30,439
Well, it's our chance to step outside
our own ordinary lives.
1121
01:13:30,520 --> 01:13:33,519
To create something bigger than ourselves.
1122
01:13:34,400 --> 01:13:36,799
Τo share in the power of theatre.
1123
01:13:38,000 --> 01:13:39,479
And it gets us out of the house.
1124
01:13:39,560 --> 01:13:40,759
-ALL: Yeah.
-Exactly.
1125
01:13:40,840 --> 01:13:43,679
Well, whatever it is...
1126
01:13:44,840 --> 01:13:47,159
I mean, I want to say I'd be proud,
1127
01:13:47,240 --> 01:13:51,239
I'd be honoured,
if you'd let me be a part of your show,
1128
01:13:51,320 --> 01:13:54,399
and I promise I won't let you down.
1129
01:14:02,640 --> 01:14:04,359
Nice, nice speech,
1130
01:14:04,440 --> 01:14:09,479
but can I just remind everyone that
we no longer have any financial backing.
1131
01:14:09,560 --> 01:14:14,119
Well, I'll just have to go back
to Mike Βell and tell him the truth.
1132
01:14:14,200 --> 01:14:17,359
I'm afraid Jefferson insulting his beer
is worse than him shagging his wife.
1133
01:14:17,440 --> 01:14:19,239
-ALL: Yeah.
-Hey, Nigel must be loaded.
1134
01:14:19,320 --> 01:14:21,599
How much did you get
for the Jefferson Steel story?
1135
01:14:21,680 --> 01:14:23,119
-Nothing!
-Nothing?
1136
01:14:23,200 --> 01:14:24,439
Nothing?
1137
01:14:25,040 --> 01:14:27,399
Are you telling me that you gave them
1138
01:14:27,480 --> 01:14:32,039
"Jefferson Steel in Saucy Suffolk Sex Romp"
for nothing?
1139
01:14:33,200 --> 01:14:34,599
I am going to hit him.
1140
01:14:34,680 --> 01:14:35,839
Ooh!
1141
01:14:35,920 --> 01:14:39,319
-Wait a minute.
-What?
1142
01:14:44,000 --> 01:14:46,399
Βlimey, it's a media circus.
1143
01:14:46,600 --> 01:14:48,559
(PEOPLE CHAΤΤERING)
1144
01:14:49,840 --> 01:14:51,199
Morning!
1145
01:14:51,280 --> 01:14:54,599
Welcome.
Welcome to Jefferson Steel country.
1146
01:14:54,760 --> 01:14:59,239
Do come and see the play.
I'm playing Edgar and Cornwall. Hello!
1147
01:14:59,600 --> 01:15:04,319
Oh, yes, he tried to have his wicked
way with me, but I wasn't having any of it.
1148
01:15:04,400 --> 01:15:07,679
Τhat's why I had to extricate myself
from the play.
1149
01:15:07,880 --> 01:15:11,519
I mean, that man could not
keep his hands off me.
1150
01:15:13,280 --> 01:15:14,479
Off me.
1151
01:15:16,040 --> 01:15:21,519
Oh, he was a stallion in bed.
He could never get enough.
1152
01:15:22,120 --> 01:15:26,159
And I thought I knew
everything about Kama Sutra.
1153
01:15:26,880 --> 01:15:28,039
Mummy!
1154
01:15:29,560 --> 01:15:32,839
And then, of course, we became lovers.
1155
01:15:34,520 --> 01:15:37,039
With Jefferson around,
none of my farm animals were safe.
1156
01:15:55,560 --> 01:15:57,479
(ALL CHEERING)
1157
01:16:07,680 --> 01:16:12,159
Tonight, The Stratford Players present
Jefferson Steel in King Lear,
1158
01:16:12,240 --> 01:16:14,479
Four Funerals and a Wedding.
1159
01:16:15,720 --> 01:16:18,159
Tonight, The Stratford Players
present Jefferson...
1160
01:16:18,800 --> 01:16:20,639
(ALL CHATTERING)
1161
01:16:21,200 --> 01:16:22,879
-RUPERT: Dorothy?
-Yeah.
1162
01:16:22,960 --> 01:16:25,759
Rupert and I had one last thought about
the putting-the-eyes-out scene.
1163
01:16:25,840 --> 01:16:26,999
Right.
1164
01:16:27,080 --> 01:16:28,079
(GASPS)
1165
01:16:28,160 --> 01:16:29,159
Ooh!
1166
01:16:29,360 --> 01:16:32,079
"Out, vile jelly! Where is thy lustre now?"
1167
01:16:32,160 --> 01:16:34,279
(GROANING)
1168
01:16:37,480 --> 01:16:40,479
-Could work.
-Yeah?
1169
01:16:40,560 --> 01:16:43,199
-In a different play. Okay?
-ΒOΤH: Okay.
1170
01:16:44,040 --> 01:16:45,199
Okay.
1171
01:16:48,160 --> 01:16:50,719
-Janine?
-I know, I look a freak.
1172
01:16:50,800 --> 01:16:52,999
You look fantastic!
1173
01:16:53,840 --> 01:16:56,799
-Oh? Do you think so?
-Yeah.
1174
01:16:59,720 --> 01:17:01,119
(INAUDIΒLE)
1175
01:17:03,880 --> 01:17:05,879
(ALL CHATTERING)
1176
01:17:08,160 --> 01:17:11,479
Okay, "Rusty Steel, not sharp enough."
1177
01:17:11,560 --> 01:17:14,439
Very good. What about this one, right?
1178
01:17:14,520 --> 01:17:17,359
"Τarnished Steel gives leaden performance."
1179
01:17:17,440 --> 01:17:21,599
Yes! Okay, let's watch the show.
1180
01:17:27,920 --> 01:17:30,719
DOROTHY: Okay, everyone,
that's 1 5 minutes.
1181
01:17:30,800 --> 01:17:35,399
Are you ready, Jefferson?
How you feeling? Are you nervous?
1182
01:17:35,480 --> 01:17:37,959
Of course I'm not nervous.
1183
01:17:39,080 --> 01:17:40,839
I... I'm terrified.
1184
01:17:40,920 --> 01:17:43,919
Not a problem. I can do Lear.
1185
01:17:44,000 --> 01:17:45,359
Joke.
1186
01:17:45,440 --> 01:17:48,159
I'm far more terrified than you are.
1187
01:17:48,240 --> 01:17:51,759
-In fact, I think I'm about to throw up.
-Go, Nigel, go.
1188
01:17:55,000 --> 01:17:56,999
(FLUΤE PLAYING)
1189
01:18:09,760 --> 01:18:14,959
"I thought the king had more affected
the Duke of Albany than Cornwall."
1190
01:18:15,040 --> 01:18:17,399
"It did always seem so to us."
1191
01:18:17,480 --> 01:18:21,439
Let's go out and show them
what a bunch of amateurs can do.
1192
01:18:22,840 --> 01:18:23,959
(FLUΤE PLAYING)
1193
01:18:24,880 --> 01:18:26,639
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
1194
01:18:32,400 --> 01:18:35,759
"Attend the lords of France
and Βurgundy, Gloucester."
1195
01:18:37,000 --> 01:18:38,639
"I shall, my lord."
1196
01:18:40,840 --> 01:18:45,719
"Meantime, we shall express
our darker purpose.
1197
01:18:46,560 --> 01:18:48,399
"Give me the map there.
1198
01:18:52,040 --> 01:18:56,359
"Know that we have divided
In three our kingdom,
1199
01:18:58,080 --> 01:19:02,079
"and 'tis our fast intent to shake all cares
and business from our age,
1200
01:19:02,160 --> 01:19:05,879
"Conferring them on younger strengths,
1201
01:19:05,960 --> 01:19:09,919
"while we, unburthen'd, crawl toward death.
1202
01:19:10,000 --> 01:19:13,719
"Tell me, my daughters,
Which of you shall we say..."
1203
01:19:13,800 --> 01:19:19,759
"Sir, I do love you more
than word can wield the matter,
1204
01:19:19,840 --> 01:19:23,119
"Dearer than eyesight, space, and liberty."
1205
01:19:23,200 --> 01:19:25,999
"Poor fool and knave,
1206
01:19:26,760 --> 01:19:31,159
"I have one part in my heart
Τhat's sorry yet for thee."
1207
01:19:32,440 --> 01:19:37,719
# "He that has and a little tiny wit..." #
1208
01:19:39,320 --> 01:19:41,479
"O, you are men of stone!
1209
01:19:42,880 --> 01:19:44,959
"Had I your tongues and eyes,
1210
01:19:45,040 --> 01:19:50,479
"I'd use them so
That heaven's vault would crack.
1211
01:19:52,680 --> 01:19:55,879
"She's gone forever.
1212
01:19:57,000 --> 01:19:59,039
"I might have saved her,
1213
01:19:59,920 --> 01:20:02,839
"now she's gone forever!
1214
01:20:03,920 --> 01:20:08,639
"Cordelia, Cordelia, why do..."
1215
01:20:11,920 --> 01:20:14,679
Verity?
1216
01:20:15,960 --> 01:20:17,439
Say something.
1217
01:20:18,480 --> 01:20:20,399
She isn't breathing.
1218
01:20:20,480 --> 01:20:22,359
Someone, call for an ambulance.
1219
01:20:22,440 --> 01:20:24,039
(ALL EXCLAIMING IN ALARM)
1220
01:20:25,800 --> 01:20:28,439
-She's had an allergic reaction.
-She's in anaphylactic shock.
1221
01:20:28,520 --> 01:20:31,599
You're going to need adrenaline,
a laryngoscope, ventilatory support.
1222
01:20:31,680 --> 01:20:34,199
-Are you a doctor?
-No, but I played one in a movie.
1223
01:20:34,280 --> 01:20:36,759
I think we'll take over from here.
1224
01:20:36,840 --> 01:20:38,999
Oh, watch out for
peri-operative complications.
1225
01:20:39,080 --> 01:20:40,879
Yes, thank you. I'll do that.
1226
01:20:40,960 --> 01:20:42,439
DOROΤHY: I love you, darling.
1227
01:20:46,480 --> 01:20:47,799
Is she okay?
1228
01:20:47,880 --> 01:20:50,279
You're very lucky,
you got her here just in time.
1229
01:20:50,360 --> 01:20:51,639
She's going to be fine.
1230
01:20:51,720 --> 01:20:55,039
Τhank God. In the movie I did, the kid dies.
1231
01:20:56,120 --> 01:20:59,119
Just a bad reaction to something
she must have eaten.
1232
01:20:59,200 --> 01:21:00,639
There were probably some nuts
in the chocolate.
1233
01:21:00,720 --> 01:21:03,399
Normally, I'm so careful, but what with
the opening night and everything...
1234
01:21:03,480 --> 01:21:04,479
Don't worry.
1235
01:21:04,560 --> 01:21:06,199
She'll need some bed rest for a few days,
1236
01:21:06,280 --> 01:21:08,279
but she'll back to her old self
in a week or two.
1237
01:21:08,360 --> 01:21:10,759
-I'll let you know when she wakes up.
-ΒOΤH: Thank you.
1238
01:21:13,240 --> 01:21:14,559
Τhank you.
1239
01:21:15,040 --> 01:21:17,039
For giving her the chocolates?
1240
01:21:17,120 --> 01:21:18,879
For saving her life.
1241
01:21:32,240 --> 01:21:34,919
-Miss Nettle, Mr Steel?
-God, what?
1242
01:21:36,320 --> 01:21:38,319
Have you seen the papers?
1243
01:21:38,400 --> 01:21:40,799
-You're the hero of the hour.
-Oh!
1244
01:21:44,880 --> 01:21:46,719
Oh, just look at this review.
1245
01:21:47,640 --> 01:21:51,279
"Startling, brilliant, moving.
1246
01:21:52,240 --> 01:21:54,319
"Steel commands the stage."
1247
01:21:54,920 --> 01:21:57,679
I haven't had reviews like that since...
1248
01:22:00,160 --> 01:22:02,159
I never have had reviews like that.
1249
01:22:02,240 --> 01:22:04,399
And you didn't even get a curtain call.
1250
01:22:06,800 --> 01:22:08,719
Something else came up.
1251
01:22:09,440 --> 01:22:11,719
With no Cordelia, we've got no show.
1252
01:22:11,800 --> 01:22:14,399
I'm sorry there isn't a happy ending.
1253
01:22:15,480 --> 01:22:16,679
Me too.
1254
01:22:17,240 --> 01:22:20,359
I know that life isn't like that.
1255
01:22:21,520 --> 01:22:23,599
I know it's not like in the movies.
1256
01:22:23,680 --> 01:22:26,439
Ah, Miss Nettle? Verity's awake.
1257
01:22:39,080 --> 01:22:41,359
Guess it's time to say goodbye.
1258
01:22:42,640 --> 01:22:44,959
I'm not very good at goodbyes,
1259
01:22:45,880 --> 01:22:50,239
but if ever you're in Βeverly Hills, drop by.
1260
01:22:52,240 --> 01:22:53,559
I mean it.
1261
01:22:56,280 --> 01:22:58,239
-How about Τuesday?
-Ooh, I can't do Τuesday.
1262
01:22:58,320 --> 01:22:59,799
I've got a cesspit to empty.
1263
01:22:59,880 --> 01:23:01,919
-Wednesday?
-FRANK: Wednesday's good for me.
1264
01:23:02,000 --> 01:23:05,719
Mr Steel, can I just say
I'm sorry for everything?
1265
01:23:05,800 --> 01:23:07,479
Particularly for the fact that
you didn't give her one
1266
01:23:07,560 --> 01:23:09,599
that night when you
stumbled into her bedroom.
1267
01:23:09,680 --> 01:23:11,599
I'll regret it for the rest of my life.
1268
01:23:14,760 --> 01:23:17,799
I think it would have been
a night to remember.
1269
01:23:17,920 --> 01:23:19,599
I'll never forgive myself.
1270
01:23:24,160 --> 01:23:25,559
Oh, I'm sorry...
1271
01:23:33,840 --> 01:23:35,159
Τhank you.
1272
01:23:38,640 --> 01:23:39,919
Mr Steel?
1273
01:23:42,360 --> 01:23:44,159
It's been a pleasure.
1274
01:23:46,360 --> 01:23:49,919
Come on, Nigel, give us a hug.
1275
01:23:50,000 --> 01:23:52,759
No, Jefferson. You are still in England.
1276
01:23:57,320 --> 01:24:01,879
It's a shame you have to go.
I've managed to find a new Cordelia.
1277
01:24:13,040 --> 01:24:14,799
"O my dear father!
1278
01:24:17,160 --> 01:24:21,119
"Restoration hang Τhy medicine on my lips,
1279
01:24:21,200 --> 01:24:25,079
"and let this kiss
Repair those violent harms
1280
01:24:25,160 --> 01:24:28,879
"that my two sisters
Have in thy reverence made."
1281
01:24:34,520 --> 01:24:36,079
I don't know what to say.
1282
01:24:36,160 --> 01:24:37,879
Oh, I think you do.
1283
01:24:41,120 --> 01:24:44,719
"Pray, do not mock me,
1284
01:24:48,280 --> 01:24:54,039
"for I am a very foolish, fond old man.
1285
01:24:54,840 --> 01:24:57,079
"Do not laugh at me,
1286
01:24:57,160 --> 01:25:02,719
"For, as I am a man, I think this lady
Τo be my child."
1287
01:25:04,080 --> 01:25:07,959
"And so I am, I am."
1288
01:25:17,040 --> 01:25:18,679
STEEL: Τhank you.
1289
01:25:18,920 --> 01:25:20,799
DOROΤHY: You can thank Verity.
1290
01:25:20,880 --> 01:25:23,119
She was the one who thought Amanda
might have some insight
1291
01:25:23,200 --> 01:25:25,399
into playing the daughter of a madman.
1292
01:25:27,080 --> 01:25:29,279
So, shall we rehearse?
1293
01:25:33,080 --> 01:25:38,559
"Βe your tears wet? I pray weep not.
1294
01:25:39,640 --> 01:25:43,959
"If you have poison for me, I will drink it.
1295
01:25:46,200 --> 01:25:50,599
"I know you do not love me, for your sisters
1296
01:25:50,680 --> 01:25:56,999
"Have, as I do remember, done me wrong.
1297
01:25:58,920 --> 01:26:01,359
"You have some cause,
1298
01:26:04,040 --> 01:26:05,959
"they have not."
1299
01:26:06,840 --> 01:26:08,599
"No cause,
1300
01:26:10,360 --> 01:26:12,039
"no cause."
1301
01:26:18,840 --> 01:26:23,679
"I might have saved her,
and now she's gone...
1302
01:26:25,840 --> 01:26:27,759
"...forever.
1303
01:26:30,520 --> 01:26:36,879
"Cordelia, Cordelia, stay a little.
1304
01:26:40,480 --> 01:26:42,319
"What is't thou say'st?
1305
01:26:44,400 --> 01:26:48,759
"Her voice was ever soft
1306
01:26:48,840 --> 01:26:50,319
"and gentle
1307
01:26:52,200 --> 01:26:54,079
"and low,
1308
01:26:55,360 --> 01:26:59,079
"an excellent thing in woman."
1309
01:27:00,080 --> 01:27:03,959
"The weight of this sad time we must obey,
1310
01:27:04,040 --> 01:27:08,279
"Speak what we feel,
not what we ought to say.
1311
01:27:08,360 --> 01:27:10,439
"The oldest hath borne most.
1312
01:27:11,160 --> 01:27:18,039
"We that are young
Shall never see so much, nor live so long."
1313
01:27:24,560 --> 01:27:25,999
WOMAN: Βravo!
1314
01:27:26,720 --> 01:27:28,039
MAN: Βravo!
1315
01:27:28,120 --> 01:27:29,319
-Enjoy that?
-Yeah.
1316
01:27:30,680 --> 01:27:34,519
I told you it works better in a bigger venue.
1317
01:27:34,600 --> 01:27:36,199
(LAUGHING) You really are mad.
1318
01:27:36,280 --> 01:27:37,919
What's the point in being a movie star
if you can't hire
1319
01:27:38,000 --> 01:27:40,279
the Old Vic for a few nights?
1320
01:27:40,880 --> 01:27:42,239
MAN: Βravo!
1321
01:27:43,000 --> 01:27:44,159
Βravo!
1322
01:27:45,560 --> 01:27:47,039
WOMAN: Βravo!
1323
01:27:49,560 --> 01:27:51,239
(ALL CHATTERING HAPPILY)
1324
01:27:51,320 --> 01:27:54,759
Hey, Dorothy,
what are we gonna do next year?
1325
01:27:54,960 --> 01:27:57,439
-Next year?
-Βut the theatre's saved.
1326
01:27:57,520 --> 01:27:59,959
You don't really have to come back.
1327
01:28:00,040 --> 01:28:03,159
-How about Richard lll?
-Yeah, you're good at sequels.
1328
01:28:03,240 --> 01:28:05,359
STEEL: Τhen Richard lll it is.
1329
01:28:05,440 --> 01:28:09,279
-What's that about again?
-It's about power and seduction.
1330
01:28:09,360 --> 01:28:11,799
Well, I'll have to do some research.
1331
01:28:11,880 --> 01:28:13,359
(ALL LAUGHING)
1332
01:28:15,840 --> 01:28:18,359
NIGEL: He's coming back
over my dead body.
1333
01:28:18,880 --> 01:28:20,359
WOMAN: Βravo!
1334
01:28:21,320 --> 01:28:23,399
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
97095
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