All language subtitles for Once.Around.1991.1080p.WEBRip.x265-RARBG_English

♪♪ [Man Humming]

♪ We've got each other's arms

♪♪ [Humming]

♪ And let your poor heart
break a little ♪

♪♪ [Humming]

♪ As long as there's
the two of us ♪ [Horn Honking]

♪ We've got the world
and all its charms ♪

♪♪ [Humming]

♪ We've got each other's arms

Joe? Are you in there?

♪♪ [Light Piano]

Damn that man.

Hi.Hi.

Oh! Those look terrific.Thank you.

Hi.[Woman]
Hi!

Oh, Rob,
have you seen Joe?

Joe? No.No. No.

[Exhales]

Oh, God.
You are beautiful.

You're glowing.

You're the one that's glowing.

Just look at you!No. I just look dressed up.

You look like...

you're wearing your soul
or somethin'
inside out today.

Oh, fuck you. Oh, fuck you.

[Knocking]

Oh, Tony.Hi, Mom.

Is Dad out there?
Have you seen him anyplace?

No, Mom, I have no idea
where Dad could be.

Marilyn. Hi.

Hi.

Joe!

Joe! [Baby Crying]

Shh. [Crying Continues]

[Horn Honks] [Chattering]

[Marilyn]
Joe!
What are you doing?

I'm drivin' my car,
Marilyn!

Come on in here.

[Man]
Hi, Uncle Joe!

Your booby prize.
You not gonna wear it?

No, you are.
Something borrowed,
something blue, something new.

Right.Something small, something
cheap, something plastic.

Stop that.
You know you guys are next.Oh, who gives a shit?

I'm having an affair.
[Chuckles]

You are not.

[Chuckles]
Oh, yeah.

I don't believe you.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, God.

- I am not listening to this.
- With a mutual friend.

Ma! Shut up,
will you?

Ma! You are
getting married.
in one second.

Wait. I am not
gonna see him anymore.

Ma! Shh! After I'm married.

Besides, if you
were having an affair,
you'd think it was great.

It's Jim, isn't it?

- [Marilyn]
All set, honey. You ready?
- Fuck.

- Shit.
- Mom.

It's not time yet,
is it? [Giggles]

It's not.
It really, really couldn't be.

If you don't wanna do this,
you don't have to.Please.

You don't have to be
embarrassed or anything.

I'll just do down there
and tell 'em.

Ma!Ma.

Okay. Just wanted
to make sure.
Let's go then.

Do good.I will.

Bye.Bye.

♪♪ [Piano: Wedding March]

I love you, Daddy.I love you, sweetheart.

[Guests Murmuring]

[Child Fussing]

Tony. What the hell
kind of shoes are those?

♪♪ [Ends]

[Woman]
Now, by the powers
vested in me...

by the state of Massachusetts,

I now pronounce you
man and wife.

[Chuckles] And you may kiss your bride.

♪♪ [Resumes] Yeah!

[Indistinct]

Yeah! I did it.

[Woman Whoops, Laughs]

[Bride]
Okay, here we go. [Clamoring]

[Clamoring, Shouting]

[Women Gasp] [Woman]
Oh.

[Joe]
Well, that counts!
That counts!

It's the real thing.

[Cheering]

[Man]
Nice try, Renata.

You wanna be smart?
Get that boyfriend
of yours over here.

We'll pour champagne,
and you set the date now.

[Renata]
Yeah?Mm-hmm.

Crazy ritual, huh? [Chuckles]

Renata! Renata.
You are lovely.

[Sighs] You must
really be getting it today,
being the only unmarried Bella.

- But let me tell you,
there's still time.
- That's great, Auntie.

Sis. Joe!

Joe! [Woman Laughs]

I'm sorry about this.It's no problem.
No problem.

Why won't you look at me?

Look at you?
I'm looking at you,
right at you.

Can I get something
to drink?Of course.

[Guests Chattering]

Oh, yeah, Rob. Come here.
Take a little advice from me,
will ya?

You-- You would
thrive in marriage.
Am I right, Joe?

You would
thrive in it. All right.

Pressured, huh?

As if I'm not
being pressured?What?

Everybody's not stupid,
you know.

[Stammers]
You gave me that sapphire
necklace as an engagement ring.

- You said it yourself.
- Yeah. And I noticed
Jan is wearing it.

It really made me feel
much closer to her,
knowing that she's wearing it.

I don't care one way or another
if we get married or not.

But you should know
you look like a worm.

A spineless worm.

A worm? Hey, I am being
more sociable here...

than anybody has-- [Joe]
Excuse me, everyone.

Can I get your attention
for a second, please?

I not gonna take
too much time up here.

I just wanna say
before I say anything else...

that I--
I just want to say...

that if my mother
were alive today,

she'd be very happy
and very proud.

[Whispering]
Excuse me. Excuse me.

[Sighs, Laughs]

I miss Ma.
What the hell.

[Joe Sniffles, Exhales]

Hey, Rob.
How's it going, buddy?

[Sighs]
I'm a worm.
I'm a spineless worm.

♪♪ [Guitar Tuning]

So am I.

Jan, baby.
I'm gonna sing this song
just for you.

Whenever you're down--

and honey,
there's gonna be times
when you're down--

I want you to remember
your old man...

and this song.

♪♪ [Arpeggio]

♪ You've got to give a little ♪

♪ Take a little

♪ And let your poor heart
break a little ♪

♪ That's the story of

♪ That's the glory of love

♪ You got to laugh a little

♪ Cry a little

♪ Before the clouds
roll by a little ♪

♪ That's the story of

♪ That's the glory of love

♪ As long as there's
the two of us ♪

♪ We've got the world

♪ And all of its charm

♪ And when this world
is through with us ♪

♪ We got each other's arms

♪ You got to win a little

[Rob Whispers]
Excuse me.♪ Lose a little

♪ And always have
the blues a little ♪

♪ That's the story of

♪ That's the glory of

♪ That's the story of

♪ That's the glory of

♪ Love ♪

I, uh, saw a good job
in the newspaper.

I'm starving.

You go to St. Maarten
to sell condos to people
in Boston.

You'd make a lot of money, Rob.

You want anything?

Huh?[ Sobbing ]

Ren? [Sobbing Continues]

Ren.
What's the matter?

[Wailing]

Oh, don't cry.

[Laughing] Don't cry.

[Laughing Continues]

[Laughing Continues]

I just want a house.

And a big important job.

And I want you to...

fall on your knees
and beg me to marry you.

I want
you to say:

You are the woman
who will change
my life.

I could, you know.

I think my life's
pretty good.

Is that sapphire
an engagement promise?

That's what you said it was.

There is no question
about it.Ooh.

Are you ever--
[Moans]
Have you ever--

No. Listen to me.
Listen to me.

Do you intend to ever marry me?
Tell me.

Tell me.

Oh.
Oh, baby.

Oh, baby.
Tell me, tell me.

[Sighs, Whispers]
Sweetheart.

I want to hear
the exact words you'd choose.

I do not ever intend
to marry you, Ren.

♪ I tried to reach the moon But when I got there ♪
[Chuckling]

- ♪ All that I could get
was the air ♪
- [Whispering]

♪ My feet are back upon the ground ♪
[Joe, Indistinct]

- ♪ I lost the one girl
I'd found ♪♪
- [Joe Laughs]

[Joe]
So, you see, Renata,

it's bigger
than all of us, honey.

Ya can't guess it.

Now, I--
I-I was crazy
about the girl.

It was before
I met your mother,
of course-- but crazy.

You know, I do not
remember her name.

Do you believe the same
will happen to you?
Do ya?

Huh?

That a-girl.

Son of a bitch
had the best years
of her life.

- You know, the thing is,
he really never even knew you.
- [Joe] That's right.

He had no idea
that you're exceptional.

You're an exceptional person.
You always were.

Isn't that right, Jan? Absolutely, Mom. Absolutely.

- He says I'm not intellectual.
- Who gives a shit?

[Jan] God, what a pig. [Man] What does he know
about intellectual?

[Jan]
Do you need that? [Man Chattering]

Hey. Oh.

I wish I could
take you with me.

[Marilyn]
Have a great time. [Joe] Don't get nervous.

Okay, bye.Adios.

- You're gonna love the flight,
honey. Don't get nervous.
- Bye.

[Woman On P.A.] Boarding call for American Airlines...Bye.

Flight 478 to Barcelona.

I'm--
I'm gonna see
if I can see 'em.

Dad! Oh, you just missed 'em.

[Groans] One lousy honeymoon your sister
goes on, and you miss it.

Oh, come on, you guys.
Cut it out.

Where's your wife?Oh, it's a madhouse.

Yeah. Forget about it, Tony.
The point is that you missed
Jan going on her honeymoon.

Get rid of the beard.
You look like
a goddamn terrorist.

Honey! Let's get going.
You're gonna be late for work.[ Marilyn ] There's their plane.

Uh-huh. You know
what surprises me, Tony?

What?How you got through security.
That's what surprises me.

[Knocking]

Ma, Dad?

[Grunts] Anything the matter?

Can I sleep
with you and Daddy?

Oh, sure.What's going on?
Huh?

Nothing. Nothing, Joe.
Just Renata wants
to sleep with us.

Why don't you get your pillow,
honey, and come back?

Don't cram me in
all night, Joe.

Will you give me
a little room
to breathe?

[Kisses]

I feel sick.

No, you're going to be
just fine, honey.
Just fine.

[Joe]
Good night, sweetheart.Good night, Daddy. Night, Ma.

Good night, sugar.

I found a job selling
condominiums in St. Maarten
to people in Boston.

[Joe Groans]
Now you're talking.
That's talking.

That's terrific.
You-You gotta take it.

Really?Uh-huh.

[Marilyn] Just sleep.You've been a waitress
long enough.

Just-- Just don't think
about anything.
Just sleep.

[Woman]
Hi. I'm Brigette Larson.

I'd like to welcome
all you cold-weather
Bostonians to paradise.

Right now, we are headed
toward the fabulous...

Pelican Resort and Casino
time-sharers' complex.

You'll find 300
time-share units,

152 with extraordinary
ocean views.

All those with luggage
with red tags...

will be staying
in the Terrace room, ocean side.

Blue tags in the new building
right behind us. [Horn Honks]

[Larson]
...proceed directly to our first
seminar, entitled Born to Sell.

There are two things
you need to make a deal.

One is money,
the other is attitude.

Their money, your attitude.

If you don't have
a positive attitude,
get out now.

So now tell me,
how do you feel?

[Together]
Great! [Seminar Leader] Yes!

How do you feel? [Mouths Word]
Great!

That's what I wanna hear!
You'll fill that board
if you have that attitude.

You'll sell every condo we have.

I don't care whether it outlooks onto the parking lot. You'll sell it!

[ Men Talking, Faint ]

[ Waves Lapping ]

♪♪ [ Caribbean Beat ]

[ Seminar Leader ]
Hello, everybody. Welcome,
all you beautiful people.

Boy, have I got a treat for you.

I'd like to introduce you
to our very top salesman,

my idol, Mr. Sam Sharpe.

[ Applause ][ Man ]
Thank you. Thank you very much.

Thank you. Thank you very much.
Thank you. Thank you.[ Crowd Whooping, Whistling ]

Thank you! Thank you very much!
Is that a banana in your pocket
or are you just happy to see me?

Ba-dum-pum.[ Crowd Laughs, Groans ]

What did the man say
who had five penises?

[ Woman ]
What?My pants fit me like a glove.

[ Crowd Laughs, Groans ][ Man ]
That's sick.

Thank you.
Thank you.

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome all you guys and gals
to the Pelican Condo family.

You're a great-looking
bunch of trainees.

As a matter of fact,

there are some of you here today
who are simply stunning.

[ Chattering ]I wanna hear you
give yourselves...

a big round of applause--
ready?

One, two, three. Go![ Applause, Cheering ]

There you go!

That's it!
Let me hear it![ Applause, Cheering Continue ]

Now, for those of you...

who don't know me,
my name is Sam Sharpe.

And I guess you could say
that I have sold a few
of these babies myself.

Sam Sharpe has sold...

2,575 shares.

[ Crowd Exclaiming, Cheering ]

Now you're acting
like a salesperson.
Good goin'.

And last year,
in commission alone,
I made...

- a lot of money.
- [ Crowd Laughs ]

Now, you must be asking
yourself by now,
"Who is this guy?"

[ Chuckles ]
You know? "Who is this
hugely successful salesperson?

Who is this
incredibly well-dressed--

[ Woman ]
Yeah.incredibly well-hung guy?"

Well,[ Crowd Laughs, Groans ]

I, uh, I am descended
from a long line...

of Lithuanian generals.

My family--
God bless each
and every one of them--

came over here to this
fabulously wonderful country...

when I was just
a little fellow in shorts.

And now take a look
at what I'm wearing.

[ Man ]
All right!That's America.

[ Crowd Cheering ]

Every one of you
can do just as well.
You know what I'm talkin' about.

This place sells itself.

Thank you very much.
Bon appétit.

- [ Woman ]
All right!
- Let's hear it for Sam Sharpe!

[ Crowd Cheering Loudly ]♪♪ [ Band Resumes ]

That was nice.
Thank you.Thank you. Thank you very much.

It's time
for the Pierrot du Pepe.I love that wine.

Oh! Not many people
know that wine.

I used to work
in the food industry.

Really? So did I.

Hi, everybody.
I'm Joyce.Hello.

Hi, Joyce.

[ Joyce ]
Well, cheers.

May I?Oh.

[ Glasses Clink ]

- Red is a beautiful color.
- Mmm. It's my favorite color.

Your suit is gorgeous.You really like it?

Oh, yes. I love it.
It's wonderful.

Thank you.
I got it in Japan.No!

Yes.Wow.

Tokyo.
[ Chuckles ]
Tokyo is a wild place.

[ Laughs ]
Oh, yeah.

I can imagine...
anyway.

You can't believe the dresses
that they make in Tokyo.

- I would love to
buy you a dress from Tokyo.
- Wow!

♪♪ [ Violin ]

My dad used to sing
that song to my mother.
"Fly Me to the Moon."

I, of course,
was born in the '40s,

when they wrote
incredible songs.

That's why I have
such intense passions.Oh.

I believe that 100%.

I mean, I know all those songs
'cause of my dad, and--

Hell. Men of my own
generation have never
understood me at all.

I mean, if you know...

♪♪ [ Violin Continues ]♪ Fly me to the moon and

♪ Let me play among the stars

♪ Let me see
what spring is like ♪

[ Together ]
♪ On Jupiter and Mars

[ Continuing Together ]
♪ In other words,
hold my hand ♪

♪ In other words

♪ Baby ♪ Darling

[ Together ]
♪ Kiss me

What's your name?Renata.

Renata.Yeah.

That's a lovely, lovely name.Mmm.

You are the second
most beautiful woman
I've ever seen.

Your mother.You got it.

[ Both Chuckling ]I don't believe you.

You know, there is
an old Caribbean custom...

that says when a man
kisses a woman on a roof...

on the first night
that they meet,

that she has to believe
everything he ever tells her.

And that is a fact.

Mmm.
I shouldn't have done that.Why not?

You're wearing a wedding ring.Um, I'm divorced.

Oh.
[ Scoffing Chuckle ]No, in business--

In business,
it's better to be married.

[ Ring Clangs ]

Renata, my divorce
was final September 2.

No!Yes!

- God! That's my birthday!
- No!

Yes!

Renata, you have to come
to New York with me.
Just for a weekend, please!

[ Groans ]

I'm immeasurably flattered.
I mean--

A weekend is just two days,
but I can't.

I have my family
to get back to.

♪ Fly you to the moon

♪ And let us play
among the stars ♪

♪ Let us see
what spring is like ♪[ Chuckles ]

[ Together ]
♪ On Jupiter and Mars

♪ In other words,
hold my hand ♪

♪ In other words,
darling, kiss me ♪♪

♪♪ [ Sam Scatting ]♪♪ [ Renata Joining ]

[ Sam ]
Yeah.[ Chuckles ]

[ Kissing ][ Renata Moans ]

Sam.Mmm.
[ Moans ]

When you brought me back
to my room last night--

You wouldn't let me in,
you tease.I wanted to tell you something--

You drive me wild--I was afraid to excite you--

you old-fashioned,
fuddy-duddy sex goddess.any more than I did already.

Sam!What? What? Tell me.

You know, Sam,

I saw you for
the very first time,

standing as you looked
out at the ocean--

Yeah?and the moment I saw you,

a voice inside me said:

"I'm gonna kiss this guy
in front of an altar
with God as a witness."

It did?That voice inside me.

Yeah?I've never heard it, ever,
until I saw you.

[ Sam Whooping ][ Renata ]
I can't believe this.

I can't believe
you're driving me here.Why? It's only logical.

You wouldn't let me feed you
baby shrimp in New York.
[ Chuckling ]

[ Tires Screech ][ Joe Laughing ]

[ Laughing ]
Daddy.Renata!

Daddy!What are you doing here?

Oh, God, I'm so happy
to see you. Daddy, um--God. Oh, oh.

Let me shake the hand
of the first man that
my little rosebud ever loved.

[ Chuckles ]

Daddy, you're coming in there.Come on.

[ Sam ] Just take a look.
It's only gonna be a second.Come on.

It'll be
interesting to you.My hands are dirty.

It'll be glorious.
Just get in.I don't want to go.

[ Renata ]
Get in. Get in!I have mud on my shoes.

[ Sam ]
Okay, Sonny, let's go.

[ Tires Squealing ][ All Laughing ]

[ Joe ]
You can go around the rotary
at high speeds...

without ever hitting your brake.

I think I have the record
in Massachusetts.

Oh, what suspension.
This is an automobile.

What's his name? Sonny?
Sonny!

- You can crank her up
10 more miles per hour.
- What 10? 30 miles an hour!

Come on!Okay.

[ Sam Chuckling ]
This baby really hugs the road.
Holy shit!

[ Renata ] There's even
champagne in the refrigerator.Ooh, ooh! Champagne, champagne!

[ Joe ]
No, thanks. I get headaches.Come on, Daddy.

[ Squeaking ]

- Marilyn!
- Hi, honey. What--

- What are you doin' up there?
Get down.
- Renata!

Hi!Ma!

[ Joe ]
You're gonna kill yourself.Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah!Oh! Help, help, help!

[ Laughs ]Oh, God.

Honey!
Honey, how are you?

Oh! I didn't expect you back
so early.

- Sam, this is my mother.
Mom, this is Sam.
- Excuse the glove.

Hello.Hello. How are you?

- Isn't she beautiful?
- How do you explain a rose...

to someone who has never
seen a rose before?

[ Kisses Hand Twice ]Welcome.

So, uh, he detoured Renata
in New York City,

- just so he can
drive back to Boston.
- How nice.

If I had my way, I'd have driven
her all the way to California.

[ Marilyn, Sam Laugh ]

[ Laughing ]

Well, how do you like the job?
You love it?

Mmm. I learned
I wouldn't be good
at selling condos.

She'd be sensational.
It just wasn't
the right place for her.

- Really.
- So, uh, you're back
to where you started.

Well, not really, Dad.

"Not really, Dad."
What's that supposed to mean? ♪♪ [ Car Stereo: Rock ]

Hi, Tony!Tony!

Come on.
Come meet him.

Hi, Tony.Hey, Renata!

You're home early.

How's the condo biz?[ Laughs ]

This is Sam.
This is my brother, Tony.Tony.

Sam.Nice to meet ya.

Nice limo.

Why don't you come up
and have something to eat
with Renata and--

Sam, right?Sam.
[ Chuckles ]

I have to work.
This came in real handy.
Thanks.

- Well, it's Saturday.
- Got to go.
Got to go to work.

[ Marilyn ]
Would you take
a day off once in a while?

I got a plumber here.
He robs me blind as soon as
I turn around.

[ Kisses ]
Bye, Tony.Bye, doll.

Tony. You're gonna get
plenty of chances
to get to know me.

[ Marilyn ] Joe, come on
and have something to eat
with the kids.

- Hey, Sonny,
bring in the champagne.
- [ Sonny ] Okay.

No, no, no!
No, thank you.
Just leave it in the car.

Oh, Tony, don't forget,
it's Dad's birthday
tomorrow night.

[ Joe ]
Marilyn. Marilyn, please--

Please, honey.
No celebration.
No cake. Nothing.

Sure, sure, sure.
You didn't like the job?

[ Renata Shouts, Coughs,
Screams ]

[ Laughing ]Come here.
Come here!

[ Laughing Continues ][ Laughs, Mutters ]
Come here. Okay!

[ Renata Screams, Laughs ]

Come here.
Come here.[ Laughing Subsides ]

[ Marilyn Groaning ]

Was that just regular vodka
we were drinking?

[ Sam Shouting ]It's 2:00 in the morning,
for chrissake.

[ Renata Laughing ]I mean, we don't even know
this guy, really.

I think she should go
to her own goddamn room.
I mean, it's close to 2:30.

You know, Joe, I think if this
works out, it could be the best
thing that ever happened to her.

[ Renata Shouts ]I think he's crazy about her.

[ Renata Screams, Laughs ]

That's it.Where you going?

That's it.Don't go down there!

[ Joe, Renata Laughing ]

[ Laughing Continues ]Oh, darling.
Oh, darling.

[ Joe Laughing ]Kiss me.

Oh, Joe!
[ Laughs ]
Joe, she is so funny.

She was just telling me how
her horse, Horny, used to eat--

Shoni. God,
his name is Shoni.Shoni. [ Laughs ]

How Shoni walked in the rain
with all the water fallin'--We woke you?

What the hell's the matter
with you, Renata?
Your mother can't sleep.

[ Clears Throat ]Dad!

For chrissake,
it's 3:00 in the morning.

Okay, fine.
I'm going to bed.

Whoa, ho, ho!
What's with that attitude?

All of a sudden
I'm the bad guy?
Huh?

Because it's 3:30
in the morning, and I want you
to go to bed, for chrissake?

All right!

Your mother wants
some goddamn sleep.

[ Snoring ]

Renata, don't let him
go away angry.

Come on, sweeten him up,
buttercup.

[ Joe Laughs ]

- Dad?
- Don't worry, sweetheart.

You're forgiven.
Just go to sleep now.

Wait a minute.

What's the matter?
What's going on?
You okay?

Am I--
Am I okay?

If-- If I told you how wrong
everything's been since Rob,

if I-- If-If I told either
one of you, you'd probably
call the cops on me.

Or a priest or Jan
or a medical doctor or--

I'm clutching for dear life
in there, okay? Hell--

I've been split down
the middle.

Split down
the fucking middle.

I've been flung into
this wasteland to figure out
how come two plus two made five.

And at the same time, I feel
like I'm gonna turn into a white
flame and suddenly go pfft!

Disintegrate.
And you ask me if I'm okay?

That's not the point!
That's just not the point!

The point is,
I don't want to be told
when to go to bed.

All right. Stay up late.
No problem.

You bet. You bet I'm
staying up late if I want.
Okay, Mom?

Okay. Sure.
You stay up
as late as you want.

And then again,
I just might go right to bed.

- That's okay too.
- Sure. Absolutely.

What was that?

♪♪ [ Renata Singing ]

♪ And let me sing
forevermore ♪

♪ You are all I long for ♪♪ [ Singing Continues, Faint ]

You hear that?I don't hear anything.

Jesus Christ, shut the window.
I'm freezing my ass off.
[ Shudders ]

[ Man ] ♪ Fly me to the moon

♪ Let me play among the stars ♪

♪ And let me see what spring is like ♪[ Sam Chattering ]

♪ On Jupiter and Mars Lift your arms.

♪ In other words ...and then bring in
a bit of the material--

♪ Hold my hand [ Whistling ]

♪ In other words

♪ Baby, kiss me [ Laughing ]

♪ Fill my heart with song

♪ And let me sing forevermore

Let me see it again. ♪♪ [ Continues ]

Look at this neckline.[ Both Laugh ]

Oh, no, no, no.
Leave your coat off.

No, you're just gonna
stare at me.

Oh, God,
I am busted up inside.[ Giggles ]

I swear, the adrenaline
inside me is like,
wow, kick-ass.

Oh, God.
[ Chuckles ][ Sighs ]

Do I look okay?
Because I'm going crazy.

[ Both Laughing ]Oh, God! God.
That's gross.

- [ Renata Laughing ]
- You have awakened Sam Sharpe.

Don't move. Come on.
If you care at all
for this minute,

for this car,
for me at all,
do not move your hand.

My God, I can't do this.

I want you to live with me
in New York City.

No. That's impossible.

Nothing is impossible.
Say yes. Come on.No.

Say yes to me!I live here.

[ Joe ]
Come on.

[ Renata ]
Leaving my family is like--

is like...
renouncing my citizenship...

or-or moving to Russia...

or becoming Protestant. No.

[ Sam ]
Sonny, stop the car.
Stop the car.

[ Tires Screeching ][ Horns Honking ]

[ Renata ]
Sam, what are you doing?

Get out of the car.
Come on. Come on.[ Horns Honking ]

Sam,
we're on the bridge.Come on.

[ Honking Continues ]
Where are we going?

Trust me.

It's cold out here.Renata,

when I was eight years old...

I used to stare
at the photo
of my grandfather,

who was a general
in Lithuania.

What are you talk--
We were talking about me back--Wait, wait--

Wait, wait, wait.
Wait. I used to--
I used to say to myself:

"Sam, the blood of this
powerful, virile man is
coursing through your veins."

And I would get so, I would--
I would get--

I would run out of the room,
dying to do something decisive.

And I would say, "Mommy, Mommy!
Did I really suck on your tits
when I was a little boy?"

Sa-- Sam!
What are you
talking about?

Oh! I'm freezing.
Let's go back in the car.What am I talkin' about?

I'm trying to tell you
that from the first minute
I ever saw you--

Renata, look at you.

[ Shivering ]Look at you.

Everything you do.
[ Sighs ]

The way you eat your food.

The way-- The way you--
you put on your shoes.

The way your eyes
are looking at my mouth
when I'm talking to you.

Renata,
you name anything you do.

The way you hug your mother.

The way you talk to your family.

You move me.

Give me the phone.

Sonny!
Give me the phone.

[ Renata ]
What're you doing?

I'm dialing
my accountant's number.

I'm gonna look
at the Charles River every day
for the rest of my life.

And when he asks me
why am I moving my business
from New York to Boston,

I'll be able to say to him:

"Cause, man,
I is in love."

[ Joe ]
Mar, give me
the needle-nose again.

Yeah. Coming up.

He lives in New York City.I'm glad too.

[ Doorbell Ringing ]I'll get it.

Imagine that guy
on a day-to-day basis?
[ Grunts ]

[ Man ]
Marilyn Bella?Oh, my word!

Oh, will you look at this!

Look what Sam sent.
Look at that.
Is he darling?

Oh, I've never seen
so many flowers in my life.
Are those American Beauties?

[ Women Chattering ]I don't know why
I'm putting in this fixture?

I'm 140 years old today.

You'd think my
goddamn son, your husband,
would help out.

He had to go watch that plumber.

I don't look that old, do I?No. You look great, Dad.

Thanks, honey.So wait a minute.
Renata really likes this guy?

Likes him?
She's almost as enthused
as your mother-in-law.

Ta-da.

I told you, Marilyn.
Don't do anything
fancy for my birthday.

Oh, I suppose you think
this cake is for you, huh?

It's not for you.

Can't you just one time
accept something without
spoiling it with your thinking?

There was never a day
I could or would
court you like that.

All I wanted to do
was...

sit on the stoop
and hold your hand.Yeah. Me too.

Isn't it funny?
On the one lousy day you
wanna put a gun in your mouth,

everybody wants
to come over to celebrate.

Yeah, that's 'cause
we love you.

- [ Marilyn ]
You want some coffee, baby?
- [ Joe ] Renata,

I want you to try
the greatest chocolate cake
you've ever eaten.

[ Woman ]
Sam, don't believe
anything he says.

How about you, Sam?
More coffee?Thank you very much.

Marilyn,
where's the bananas?Bananas. You got it.

Tony, Gail-- go.[ Together ]
Don't have eat it yet.

Don't eat it?[ Renata ]
Okay, okay, okay.

I was going to get it myself.
Sit down, Marilyn, sit.I am.

Where's the cream?
The cream.[ Tony ] Whoa, whoa, whoa!

You ruined it.
You ruined it.
She ate it.

She ate it.
She ate it.

[ Marilyn ]
Sam, you got presents.[ Joe ] Okay, Sam.

[ Doorbell Rings ]I got it.

Uh, Joe--
[ Clears Throat ]

Why don't you, uh,
answer the doorbell?Ma!

Why?

I think it's right that
you answer your doorbell.

[ Doorbell Rings ]All right.
What's going on?

Just do it, Dad.
Answer the door.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Gail ]
What's goin' on?[ Tony ] You'll see.

[ Gail ]
What's up?

Hello.
You are Mr. Joe Bella?

That's me. ♪♪ [ Middle Eastern ]

Look at his face!

Come on, Joe.
Come on!

Ooh!
[ Laughs ]That's it!

[ Sam Exclaims ]Oh, whoa, whoa!
Way to go!

Yeah, you!
Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho![ Family Laughing ]

♪♪ [ Continues ]

[ Sam Grunting ]

Come on, keep up.
Come on! Ho!

[ Man ]
Thanks a lot.

♪♪ [ Continues, Faint ]

Do you hear that?
It sounds Byzantine.

Jan. Let me put it
inside you right now,
real fast.

Peter.
[ Chuckles ]
Cut it out.

Come on.Come on!

Let's go behind that bush.
Oh, please. Come on,
just feel it.

[ Jan Groans ]Come on,
just give it a touch.

Peter, please.
This is a front lawn
in America.

They're dancing.
They can't be dancing.

[ Joe Laughing ]

[ Laughing, Chattering ]

- Jan!
- Hi!

Oh, my God.
I was dying for you
to come home.

Me too.
You look gorgeous.

Jan, baby!
Peter!

Ah!
¿Qué pasa, Dad?Peter! Peter!

Hey, bellaBella.[ All Chattering ]

[ Peter ]
Mom, who's the naked lady?

Hey, Sam. Sam, Sam, come on.
I want to introduce you
to my kid.

Who's the guy?

My new boyfriend.

No, no. Come on.
Who's he really?

I'm with him.

Oh, my God. Look at her, Ma.
She's not even suntanned, huh?

She probably sat
in museums all day.

[ Renata ]
Sam, come here.[ Guffawing ]

[ Chuckles ]
Sam, this is my sister Jan.

And this is her husband
Peter.

How are ya?This is Sam Sharpe.

I hope you both
have a lifetime
of great sex and joy.

- Well, that's what
it's all about, isn't it?
- [ Sam Chuckles ]

[ Joe Chuckles ]
Hey, Miss!

Why don't we have
something to eat?I'm starving.

Let's all go to the kitchen
and sing "Happy Birthday"
to Daddy again.

No, for chrissake,
lay off with the birthday.
No more.

[ All Chattering ]

[ Jan ]
Wait for us, okay?[ Renata ] We'll wait.

[ Speaking Lithuanian,
Laughing ]

- [ Joe ] Don't give me
the birthday, okay?
- [ Lithuanian ]

[ Woman Speaking Lithuanian ]

Oh, thank you, I will.
That's sweet. Bye-bye!

Why didn't you ask your friend
to join us for cake?

Oh, no, no. She wouldn't
want to stay here
with a bunch of strangers.

She'd rather go home, you know,
with her tits full of cash.
[ Laughs ]

[ Laughing Continues ]Ha.

She's married.
She's dyin' to
get out of here.

Joe![ Joe ]
Yeah!

She said "Happy birthday"
in Lithuanian!

So, we'll be in here.

Yeah.

[ Alarm Buzzing ]

[ Alarm Off ]

[ Grunts, Sighs ]

[ Laughs ]
Oh, my God.

[ Jan Cackles ]

♪♪ [ Humming ]

- [ Jan Laughs ]
- I saw you come home
last night.

Jim!
[ Gasps ]

[ Both Talking, Faint ]

I need you!

God, I need you.Jim.

[ Window Squeaks ]Remember how you, uh,
needed me at your wedding,

and you couldn't
explain it?
[ Chuckles ]

Yeah.[ Both Chuckle ]

You really missed me,
didn't you?

I met a woman.
[ Exhales ]
She's phenomenal.

[ Laughs ]
She asked me to marry her.

I want you there.
Next, uh, Thursday.

You have to be there.

How could you meet a woman?
I've been away only--A bar.

- A bar?
- Yeah.

And you're gonna marry someone
you met in a bar?

For chrissakes,
look at me, Jim.Please come to my wedding.

Please.
[ Moans ]

[ Squeaks ][ Jan ]
Mmm.

[ Joe ] That was pretty good.[ Sam ] Joe! Joe.
Listen. Listen,

I wish you could've met my
father. He wasn't a very good
skater, but he loved ice.

[ Joe ]
I wish I could've met
your father.

[ Passengers Chattering ]

[ Sam ]
Wait till you see what these
Olympic beauties can do.

[ Joe ]
Sam, you shouldn't have done
all this.

♪♪ [ Classical ]

Hey, come on.
I'm all alone out here!

Sonny! Sonny!
Pick up the volume.

♪♪ [ Louder ]

Ha! It's wonderful
out there.
It's wonderful.

Come on, Joe.
Come on, baby.
It's you and me.

- What? What? What?
- Renata! Come on!

Hey, what is this?

You told me you were
a big hockey star
in high school.

Field hockey.Oh!

Look at this.
[ Chuckles ]Mmm.

- Where does Sam get his money?
- Sam is an incredible salesman,
haven't you heard?

[ Peter Laughs ]He's selling real estate
on the moon now.

Hey, Joe. You ready
to whip the ladies around?

Come on.Here we come.
Come on.

Jan! You ready for
a little whipping?Sam!

Whoo-hoo-hoo.
[ Both Chuckling ]

Peter.What?

God, you just say
anything to anyone?Come on, she's your sister.

Come on, Joe.I'll-I'll do it myself,
Marilyn.

[ Laughs ][ Sam ]
Good style, Joe.

Good style, eh?Right.

Here's my imitation of Joe.
[ Chuckles ]

Hey, hey! What? Oh!

Come here.
Come here, you guys.
Marilyn. Marilyn!

Come on, take it, take it.
There you go.

Now. Now you're gonna
go around slow.
Come on.

[ Marilyn ] Now, that's good.Now, I'm gonna take it
real easy with you.

Go ahead. Come on. Go.

Go, go!See?

- [ Joe And Marilyn Exclaim ]
- [ Sam ] Easy.

- [ Marilyn ] Come on!
- [ Renata ]
Jan, come over here!

Yeah. Oh, man![ Peter ]
Drugs!

- Do you want a drink?
- Keep going. Keep going.
That's it.

[ Sam ]
Marilyn's down.Marilyn!

- [ Marilyn Groaning ]
- [ Grunts ]

First aid.
First aid!

Are you all right?
You sure? You all right?[ Laughing ]

[ Renata ]
What do you think?[ Jan ] About what?

You haven't told me
what you think.

[ Sam, Family Chattering ]

You used to talk about
having a job, but--[ Groans ]

I'm asking how you
feel about Sam.
What do you think?

I think you should take it slow.
I thought you were supposed
to be selling condos by now.

And what are you doing
that's so goddamn important?

At least I'm worried
about my future,
not avoiding it.

Oh, give me a break.
You're so stuck here.

Me? Ha!
Your feet are nailed to
the fucking kitchen floor.

You don't do anything
without Daddy's permission.
Or is it Sam's now?

I'm mean, at least I-- I--What? Have Peter?

Or is it Jim?

I saw you this morning.

I'm just asking you to
give me and Sam the same
kind of consideration...

you give a neighbor.Come on, Renata.

I mean,
you hardly know the guy.

I mean, for chrissakes,
he puts money
in women's breasts.

Okay, fine.

You can just
screw off, okay?
Just screw off.

Oh, yeah, right.
You're just pissed off
I went on my honeymoon...

instead of staying
and taking care
of your stupid broken heart.

Oh, yeah.You're getting real crazy,
Renata.

Real crazy.Just keep believing
that one. That's right.

Hey![ Laughs ]

He makes her happy.
Can't you see that?

[ Marilyn Exclaiming ]

[ Marilyn Laughs ][ Sam ]
Marilyn, lookin' good.

[ Renata ]
Sam, Ma.
Watch me.

Renata.
Yeah, you're great.

[ Renata ]
Watch this![ Sam ] Yeah, watch this.

[ Knocking ]

Mom. Dad.[ Joe Snorts ]

[ Objects Clattering ]

Jesus, what's going on?[ Groans ]

What's the matter?Huh?

I'm sorry to wake you,
but... I cannot sleep
unless I say the following.

Uh, then say it, then.

[ Joe Groans ]Does anyone care...

that Renata's spending
day and night with some bozo?

[ Scoffs ]
Renata doesn't think
he's a bozo.

Ma! We don't know a thing
about this guy, do we?
Do you, Dad?

No. Uh, no, not really.
[ Sniffs, Groans ]

He could be a criminal.

Oh!No. I should know
more about him.

We should. We all should.

And why is he living with us?[ Marilyn ] He's not
living with us.

What do you mean,
he's not living with us?
Is he here? He's here.

Do I see him in bed or not?He's visiting.

Well, okay. Technically he's not
living with us, but he's here.
He's staying here.

That's what she's asking us.
Is that what you're asking?

Exactly. He's living with us
for some weird reason.

Hey, I think we should
just stay out of it.Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

Marilyn--

I mean, goddamn it,
he's been with us long enough.
Enough is enough.

I'm sick and goddamned tired
of-of smelling smoke
and-and drinking vodka.

I'm sick of it.
Sick, sick!
I'm sick of it!

[ Joe ]
That's what I am.

Janny,
she's awfully happy.

[ Sam ]
Come on! Come on! Ho!

Hey. Oh! Ow!
[ Laughs ]

Oh! Whiplash!
Ow, whiplash!

Come on, pull over.
Let me see your license!

Come on. Come on, out!Daddy, he's more excited
about this wedding than anyone.

Crazy wedding,
crazy wedding.

All my instincts tell me,
"Take this kitten aside and say,
'‘What's your rush?'"

Well, sometimes people know.
They just know like that, Dad.
They're in love.

I'm glad you're
so open-minded, Jan.[ Sam ] Peter, come on!

Listen, Renata.

Let's forget about
the other day, okay?

I overreacted.
I'm sorry.

I was a real bitch.
I just want you to be happy.

It's not my business
how you go about doing that.No. You cared.

And you're right. No.
I understand your concerns.
I do.

I'm gonna cool my jets
with Sam.

We are gathered here
to unite in holy wedlock...

Jim Redstone
and Honey Beach.

Do you, Jim Redstone,
take Honey Beach...

for your lawful wedded wife?

To love, to honor
and to cherish all
the days of your life?

I do.
[ Exhales ]

[ Minister Continuing ]
Uh, do you, Honey Beach,
uh, take Jim Redstone--

I, Sam Sharpe,
take Renata Bella...

to be my lawful wedded wife.

To love and to honor--[ Whispers ]
Stop it!

and to cherish
all the days of my life.That's not funny.

Say the vows to me.
Come on.[ Honey ] I do.

Say it, Renata.Leave me alone.

I, Jim Redstone--I, Jim Redstone--

take thee, Honey Beach--take thee, Honey Beach--

[ Minister Continuing ]
to be my lawful wedded bride.

[ Softly ]
I, Renata Bella,
take Sam Sharpe--

Sam!

[ Whispering ]
This is not a fun game.

[ Minister ]
And now you, Honey,

repeat after me.

I, Honey Beach--I, Honey Beach--

[ Minister And Honey
Continuing ]I, Renata Bella,

take Sam Sharpe...

to be my
lawful wedded husband.My lawful wedded husband.

To love,
honor and cherish...

all the days
of my life?

[ Minister ]
Then may God bless you both.

And I now pronounce you
man and wife.

I would like
to propose a toast.

A toast.

Those of you who know me
even a little bit by now...

aren't gonna be surprised
to hear that I would like
to make a toast...

to the consummate happiness
of Jim and Honey.

Hear, hear.Hear, hear.

Jim is a heck of a guy.

I don't know him well myself,

but could tell
by the way Jan
is sweet on him...

that he must be
one heck of a swell guy.

And, Honey--

[ Laughs ]
Well, I don't need to say
a lot about Honey.

We did get a chance to
get acquainted a little bit...

in the men's room
a few minutes ago.

[ Laughing ]

Just kidding. Just kidding.

All right,
all kidding aside,
to Jim and Honey.

[ Men ]
Hear, hear.Jim.

Now don't finish.
Don't finish.

Just leave a little bit.

[ Sighs ]
Um--

[ Exhales ]

Inspired by
the great happiness and joy
that I see around us,

by the shining example
of Mr. Joe Bella
and his lovely wife Marilyn,

by darling Jan,
their daughter,

and her lovely
husband Peter,

I would like
to take this opportunity...

to announce the engagement--[ Gasps ]

Miss Renata Bella
to Sam Sharpe IV.

[ Laughing ]
Oh, yeah!

There is an old
Lithuanian proverb.

It goes--
[ Speaking Lithuanian ]

[ Chuckles ]
Roughly translated that means,

"Dogs can't make
their dreams come true,
so people have to."

And I just did.

[ Peter ]
Oh, wow.

[ Applause ]

[ Applause Continues ][ Chattering ]

[ Peter ]
Congratulations.
Congratulations to you.

Come on, once around--
for the bride.

♪♪ [ Folk Dance ]

It's a fertility rite.

Eggs, bread--

They're dancing with genitals.

Oh, come on, Joe.
They are not.

♪♪ [ Stops ]

[ Guests Cheering ]

♪♪ [ Mid-tempo Big-band Swing ]

Look at that car.

[ Whistles ]I can't believe all this.

I mean, look at it.

It's like he's purchasing her.

How can she do that?Dad.

Look, I'm old-fashioned,

and I'm as sexist
as the next guy,

but, Christ, I have always
treated your mother as an equal.

Dad, we've all got
to let Renata live
her own life now, all right?

Such a nice ceremony.Oh.

Renata,
you look beautiful.Thank you.

[ Faint ]I've been waiting
for this dance...

for over a quarter
of a century.

[ Sam ]
Ho. Ho!

Hello. Hello. Hi.
Come on in.

Everybody, come on in.

[ Sighs ]
Hi. Yeah, come on down front,
you little guys.

Is that a rocket in your pocket,
or are you just happy to see me?

[ Laughing ]

Um-- I--

[ Chuckles ]

I'm overwhelmed.

I-- I am standing here
in front of this microphone,

and I'm-- I'm overwhelmed.

I'm overwhelmed
by my beautiful bride.

You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.

And I'm overwhelmed
by my beautiful new
mother-in-law Marilyn Bella.

[ Mouthing Words ]

And I'm-- I'm overwhelmed
by everybody. I am--

Really. Every single person
in this room is--

I-I--
[ Stammers ]

You are love.

You are love embodied
in great-looking outfits.
[ Chuckles ]

Give yourself a big round
of applause.

Come on, really.
Come on.

Everybody!

Yeah!

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

There is one person here
who is Mr. Love.

I'm not talking
about dollars and cents...

when I say that he is
the richest man...

in this room.

He is the richest in this room
because of what is in his heart.

You know
who I'm talking about.

Let's have a round
of applause for the big guy,

Mr. Joe
"head of the family" Bella.

Joe! Come on up.

Joe, come on.

Joe, come on up![ Chanting ]
Joe! Joe! Joe!

[ Chanting Continues ]
Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe!

All right.Do it, Daddy!

[ Joe ]
All right, all right. Uh--

I'd just like to say that--

Excuse me.

[ Whispering ]

Sorry.

[ Sighs ]
I'd like to sing
this song to Renata.

But, Sam, you should
listen carefully to it...

because for some reason, Renata,

after meeting Sam,
you were always humming
this song.

♪♪ [ Drums ]I mean, for some reason.

It's been in the air
since you two met.

I know what it is.

♪ Fly me to the moon

♪ And let me play
among the stars ♪

♪ Let me see what spring is like
on Jupiter and Mars ♪

- ♪ In other words
- [ Guest Exclaim ]

♪ Hold my hand

♪ In other words

- ♪ Baby, kiss me
- [ Guests Exclaiming ]

♪ Fill my heart with song

♪ And let me sing forevermore

♪ You are all I long for

♪ All I worship and adore

♪ In other words

♪ Please be true

♪ In other words

♪ I love you

[ Man ]
Yeah! Whoo!

Come on! Come on.

Lookin' good, girl.

Oh, Renata--
Renata, please put your coat on.

[ Continues, Faint ]

Keep it closed.
No peeking.

That's it. Here we go.

And a drumroll, please,
ladies and gentlemen.

Hey! Hey, hey, hey.

Do you like it?
It's a pottery wheel.

[ Sam ]
Look at this!

Isn't it great?Very few on the market.
Very--

Hey! Hey, you're
getting to be an expert.

[ Mutters ]What is that, a flower?

No, it's, uh--
It's, uh, off-center
a little bit.

It's kind of an abstract.

[ Both Laughing ]

[ Chattering, Laughing ]

[ Sam ]
Marilyn.Thank you.

From Renata and myself.Hope you like that.

Oh, my God,
will you look at this?

Oh, you kids are
just going crazy.

We really are, Ma.Oh, they're beautiful.

We're just stark raving mad.

You guys are
just really too much.

It's so extravagant.Ma, let me see.

Oh, my-- Sam.I mean, we have--
Look at these rocks.

Oh, Daddy,
this is so beautiful.Gorgeous.

I'm not sure I want to be
a locations analyst.Lot of money.

[ Laughing ]
More money than you ever
dreamed of in your life.

Isn't that right?

It's certainly
a very generous offer.

[ Sam ]
Come on.
Why don't you take it?

[ Chattering ]

It's awful.
You don't even know what it is.

How can you evaluate it
seriously, for one?

Daddy? Daddy,
what do you think?

Come on, why don't you
give 'em a try?
Try it out.

[ Peter ]
I can quit.
Sam, I can quit, right?

Anytime.
This is America.
What do you think?

[ Chattering Continues ]

Joe. Look at this.

People used to have to--

[ Marilyn ]
Hi.Hi. Where's Jan?

Upstairs, I think.Thanks.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.It's the refrigerator.

A lot of cashola.

VCRs, uh, CDs.

[ Laughing ]
Digital TVs.God, Peter--

Porsches, shih tzus.[ Laughs ]

Guess how much.

Wrong.
Whatever you just thought,

it's twice what
you just thought.

He threw me a bonus.

How much of a bonus?

Come on.
Get it with your mouth.

You know you want to.
Come on!

Oh, God. It's getting hard
to separate you...

from your professional life.[ Glass Breaks ]

Shit! What the hell was that?

[ Marilyn ]
Wonderful. Terrific.

Ma? Ma, you all right?

I'm gonna put a bomb
under your father's chair
and I'm gonna light it.

He just sits there
in that robe.

All day.

All night.Ma, he's resting.

Resting?
Hey, You want to talk
about work?

Take a look at this place.

I mean, it's making beds,
hanging up clothes,

dusting, mopping, cooking,
doing windows.

I mean, what is this
supposed to be, the thrill
of my lifetime? Shit!

Ma, calm yourself.Oh, no, no.
I'm sick of it.

We were gonna travel.
We were gonna go
deep-sea fishing.

I was going to learn Italian.

I decided what
I really want to do.

I want to build a boat,
paint it, put it to sea
and die on it.

Go take a flying leap.

What are you doing,
sleeping at 12:00
in the afternoon?

Will you tell me that?

I'm trying to daydream,
Marilyn.

Now why don't you
leave me alone?

Ever since I retired,
you can't take it, can you?

Oh!

Well, I'll be
at my pregnant daughter's
if anyone cares.

[ Jan ]
Dad?

♪♪ [ Renata Humming ]

Nice view, huh?Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

You know, your mother,
she doesn't understand.

I just wanna slow it down.

Do nothing.

Sam could never stop working.
Never. It worries me.

[ Sighs ]

I-- I wish Sam
was more like you.

I wish he could
just relax.

You stopped working
'cause you wanted to.

Now when you were Sam's age,
you worked all hours too.

Of course
I worked all hours.

I had you.
I had Tony.[ Door Opens ]

[ Sam ]
Honey cakes,
your big daddy's home.

There he is.Throw the turkey
in the oven and bend over.

[ Sam Laughs ]Hi, Sam.

[ Babbling ]

[ Chuckling ]
Dad!

Hey. I was just
thinking of you.

Gotta go.

Oh. Don't go.

Hey, Joe, don't
go home yet.
Please.

I need your help
on something.
I need your advice.

Okay?
Take just a minute.

Come over here.
Take a look at this.

[ Coughs,
Clears Throat ]

Now, which
do you like better,

the blue or the red?

I like the blue.Mm-hmm.

I do too.Yeah, this one
is way too provocative.

Now first off,
you start the thing off
with a goddamn question.

If I were sent a brochure--

which I got a shitload
at work every day--

and it started
with a question,

I'd say they're assholes.

They're being provocative
where I want safe.

They're asking questions
where I want answers.

Really.Fuck 'em.
I'd put it in the basket.

Renata, your father
is one smart cookie.

[ Laughs ]
No one has to
tell me that.

[ Chuckles ]One smart cookie.

What was that word
that you just used?

Provocative?Provocative, right.

Mr. Bull's-eye.

- You picked the blue,
right, Joe?
- Yeah. The blue.

Okay. Okay.
I'm going with the red.

See, I'm going
for the new breed.

I'm going for the people
who want provocative.

Thank you, Joe.
I really appreciate it
very much.

You've been very helpful.

If you need an old fart,
give me a call.

[ Chuckling ]
See you later, Joe.

[ Chuckling ]
Old fart.

Daddy, can I--
can I talk to you?

Don't be late
for your grandmother's memorial.Okay.

Bye, sweetie.

Why--

Wh-What did you just say?What?

You trapped him.

- I did not.
- Why'd you talk
to him like that?

[ Voice Cracking ]
Why did--
Why did you trick him like that?

I asked his opinion
because I value it.

No, Sam.
Can't you be sensitive
to another person?

Don't you notice
what he's going through?

I think you're
underestimating your father.

Jesus, back off a little.
I'm right on this.

[ Phone Ringing ]

[ Ringing Continues ]

[ Marilyn ]
Honey, I think
you'd better get dressed.

[ Ringing Continues ]We're getting late.

♪♪ [ Joe Singing In Italian ][ Ringing Stops ]

♪♪ [ Continues In Italian ]

♪ Oh, Mamma

[ Voice Cracking ]
♪ Mamma

♪♪ [ Ends ]

[ Sniffles ]

[ Weeping ]
Wow.

[ Chattering ]

All right,
let's all enjoy ourselves.

[ Indistinct ]

I like your father.

[ Peter ]
That was nice, Dad.

[ Joe ]
Thanks, Peter.

That was great, Daddy.

There's a song
in Lithuanian like that.
That honors the mother.

Joe, that was magnificent.
That was really magnificent.

I don't want
to hear that. Okay?
But thanks, Sam.

I'm not kidding.
It was magnificent.

Sam, cut it out.

[ Clears Throat ]

What the hell is he gonna do,
make a speech now?

It's not appropriate here,
Renata.

Hello. Hello.

Greetings.
Can you hear me?

Can you hear--

Sam, what are you doing?

Um, I'm gonna sing
a Lithuanian song I know
about motherhood.

Oh, I wish you wouldn't.

Um, you know,

the Bellas
are a funny group,

and they're very funny
about the memory
of their mother.

Don't sing. Please don't.

This is a song about a woman
who is completely devoted
to her son.

Everything she does,
every action--

you know, all the cooking
and cleaning, everything--

is done for her son,
who is-- who is going
on a journey.

It's really--Yes, it sounds like
a wonderful song, but--

We'd like
to hear it sometime,
just not today.

No, you listen
and you tell me after
if you think I was wrong, okay?

Sam, um, I have
the microphone in my hand...

because I can't seem
to reach you.

And I know it's my fault
because I probably sound as if
I'm asking you not to sing.

[ Chuckles ]What I'm actually doing, Sam,

is I'm telling you
you can't.

You cannot do it.Marilyn, I think
this song--

Let me see
what's going on, Daddy.
I wanna talk to Sam alone.

[ Marilyn ]
Give me the microphone
and go to your seat...

and sit next to Renata
where you belong.

Marilyn, I want to sing
a song about motherhood.

Over my dead body, okay?
Now go sit down.I know how you feel.

I really do.Give this to me
right now.

I'm gonna sing this song,
and I know in my heart
this is the right place.

It is totally the wrong place,
and you are the wrong person
to sing today.

Now you have had
free reign over us,

but I'm telling you,
as of this moment,
it's over.

I will kill you before
I let you sing that song...

and upset my husband
and his family.

[ Sam Protests ]Oh, go ahead.
I'll kill you.

Is that right?That's damn right.

Marilyn, I don't believe
that you really mean that.I certainly do mean it.

Sam, stop it!Wait-- I just--

Look--Daddy, unplug this
damn thing, please.

All right, I have it.
I have it. Take it easy.

Take it easy.My God.

[ Stammers ]

Sam---

You're tearing us all apart.

[ Marilyn ]
Oh, God.

[ Film Projector Running ]

Renata,

please forgive me.

[ Sighs ]

I know you want me
to leave you alone.

I know that.

I know you want
to watch this, but I--

I have this--

I have this really bad feeling
that, uh,

if I walk out of the room
you're gonna decide
not to forgive me.

I keep thinking that if
I just you know, don't move
and stay where I am, I'll--

I'll think of something.

You know, I'll--
I'll just-- I'll get
another chance with you.

I don't know--

I don't know shit.

[ Sighs ]

Okay. Okay.

There.

Now you can--

Now you can watch it
and you don't have
to look up at me.

Is that you?

[ Sighs ]

That's me.

That's me.

My son's gonna have your spirit.

- There's Jan.
- [ Chuckling ]

And Jan's fire.

Playing with Daddy.

Renata, no one can
tear your family apart.

[ Sniffles ]

I hope he'll have
my father's goodness...

and my mother's wisdom.

He will.

He will.

We're going to have
a beautiful baby, aren't we?

[ Crying Softly ]

It's a girl!

[ Sam ]
I can't believe it.

Is she okay, Sam?I didn't think
I could make her.

Is she okay?Yeah. Oh, yeah.

She's fine.

Oh, baby.Hi, Ma.

Are you okay?Oh, I'm pretty tired.

She's beautiful.[ Joe ]
God bless you.

[ Renata ]
I'm so happy
to see all of you.

She's got your eyes--
She looks just like you.Not really, Daddy.

[ Whispering ][ Joe ]
Look at the fingers.

So beautiful.

Marilyn,

about what happened
at the memorial yesterday--

Oh, no, no. That was my fault.
You were just being
enthusiastic.

Sam. Sam, let's put
all that behind us.

We got good reason
to look ahead.

♪♪ [ Folk Melody ]

[ Sam ]
I hired the band
for just 10 minutes.

I thought, what the hell,
you know?

Here, come over here.

[ Laughs ]

I wanna--
I wanna form a ring of love
around the baby, okay?

Okay, Joe? Here--

Here, you-you put
your left hand on Renata.
That's right. Here we go.

Peter, take your dad's hand.

And Jan--
That's it. Oh!Oh, God.

That's all right. That's okay.
Jan, take Peter's hand.

Marilyn, you can
take Tony's hand.
That's it. That's it.

Gail, take--
There you go.
That's it, honey.

Thank you very much.
And now Marilyn.

[ Laughing ]Perfect.

This is the song
I wanted to sing yesterday.

♪♪ [ Singing In Lithuanian ]

[ Fussing ]

♪♪ [ Band Members Joining ]

[ Chuckling ]

[ Family Chattering ]

I know. I feel the same way.
No, no, no--[ Babies Crying ]

With the one child
we only have one option.
You have several options.

Marilyn-- Marilyn, shut up
those babies, all right?

[ Tony, Sam Chattering ]Listen. Listen.
All we have to get--

Excuse me.
All we have to get--

All we have to get
is a baptism date.

Now, we should be capable
of doing that.

[ Renata ]
Okay, okay, okay, okay.

I want Jan to be godmother,

and I would think
it would be an honor--

I mean, I want Tony
to be godfather.

And I'd like to add
that Sam here is being
pretty terrific.

Hell, he has friends of his own.
Okay.

So he's quite happy
that Tony be godfather.

Why do you have
to have the baptism...

on the first day
that we are going away...

- on our very first vacation
in 12 years?
- Because--

My parents are really not
going to understand...

how their granddaughter
is born...

and is not baptized
on a preordained date--

[ Tony ]
Sam--that has been followed...

- in Lithuanian tradition
for all of their lives.
- Sam.

They're really not
going to understand why--Excuse me.

Sam-- Sam, what, uh--

[ Stammers ]
I don't want to be rude,
but your parents are dead.

Exactly.
That's exactly the point.The bottom line is,

Tony will not give up shit
to be there.

The bottom line is,

is that you would rather follow
some absolutely bullshit
tradition...

rather than think
about my happiness,
Gail's or Mikey's.

Okay, fuck you, Tony.That's the bottom line.

Don't you ever say that
to me again.

Joe, do something.

[ Renata ]
There's a baptism
and there's a date.

You are the godmother
and you are the godfather.

I hope you can fucking attend.

Jan, you don't suddenly
have to leave town, do you?

You are such a selfish bitch.

I can't believe what a selfish--
Oh, God, I--

- Hey--
- That's it! That's it!

Now the end. Done.

It's finished.

I want everyone out.
Everyone.

You okay?Yeah, I'm fine.

Now Tony... and Gail,

just go to your car
and go home.

You did nothing wrong.

And, Jan, Peter,

go to your room, please.

[ Mouths Word ]

Joe, maybe this
isn't the best time--Marilyn, please.

Don't you start.
I know what I'm doing.

Joe, uh--
[ Clears Throat ]

If it's a question
of financial loss,

I'd be happy to make up
anything Tony feels--

Sam, I don't want
to discuss it further.

Renata, I want you to ask Sam,
because he's your husband--

Ask him to wait
in the car for you.

Why are you acting
like this, Daddy?

Renata, please.

Okay, Sam, will you please
go wait in the car for me?

What is this, Ma?

Renata,

I'm gonna say something
for the first time in my life
without consulting your mother,

but I think she's gonna
very much agree with me.

Renata,
Sam's a wonderful man.

He's a generous and kind man.

But he's killing us.

[ Voice Breaking ]
He's killing us.

[ Sighs ]Is it true, Marilyn?

He means so well.

Marilyn, is it true?

[ Marilyn Whispering ]
Yeah.

How can--

How can you say that about Sam?

He has done nothing
but great, great things--[ Joe ] Renata--

for this family.

Now, look, I hate to say this,

but I'm more afraid of
what will happen if I don't.

Now, you and the baby,

you're always
forever welcome here,

but I don't want Sam
in this house again.

At least, you know,
not until we all
get control of ourselves.

See, I simply don't know
what else to do.

I'm sorry.

Well, why don't you just get
a gun and blow my head off?

'Cause if Sam's
not welcome here,
I'm not welcome here.

[ Softly ]
My baby.

In fact,

why don't you just
douse the place in kerosene
and blow it up?

Oh. And do me a favor.

Do not come to the baptism.

You're not welcome.

[ Door Opens ]

- Renata, wait.
- No! You wait!

That man--
I know he's different.

I love that he's different.

I love that he flatters me
and he flatters Mom and Gail
and Tony and Jan and you.

Hell, Peter copies him.

You're impressed by him.

So what, he gives gifts?
Big deal he's arrogant.

Why shouldn't he be?
He's remarkable!

This is my adventure, Dad,
my goddamn adventure.

If you don't get it,
well, I'm sorry.

I take it back.
I'm not sorry.

No way!

[ Car Doors Close ]

[ Engine Starts ]

[ Tires Squeal ]

[ Cooing ]

Once I thought--
no, once I wished...

that my parents
would drive off the road
in their car and die.

'Cause then I'd be different.

Those are your parents,
Renata.

Your irreplaceable parents.
Don't ever talk like that.

Okay, Sam.

[ Speaking Lithuanian ]

I'm sorry.It's okay.
It's all right.

Drop it like that--

[ Moans ]It's all right.

I've got it.
I've got it.

[ Continues
In Lithuanian ]

[ Joe ]
Renata? We're here.

[ Chattering, Faint ]

[ Baby Cries ][ Mouths Word ]

[ Laughing ]

[ Joe ]
Renata?

[ Joe ]
Come on.

[ Chattering, Laughing ]

Hello, Sam.[ Joe ]
This is the godmother.

[ Chattering Continues ]

[ Jan ]
...godmother or what?[ Chattering ]

[ Stammers ]
It's them.

[ Laughs ]
That's my family.

[ Baby Crying ]

[ Whispering ]
Jan, Tony.Oh, Tony. Tony.

[ Renata ]
You're supposed to be up here.Tony, Jan. Get up there.

Sorry, Dad.Yeah, yeah.
Button your coat. Button it.

[ Faint ][ Speaking Lithuanian ]

Yes, yes, yes, yes.[ Faint ]

Just take the cap off.Remove the cap.

Yes.They pour water
on her forehead.

[ Speaking Lithuanian ]

[ Renata Gasps ]

[ Fussing ]

♪♪ [ Singing In Lithuanian ]

[ Ragged Breathing ]

[ Gasps ]Sam--

[ Marilyn ]
Oh, my God!

[ Joe ]
Oh, my God.[ Renata ] Sam--

[ Peter ] Lift his head.[ Joe ]
Get an ambulance.

[ Renata ]
Sam.

[ Jan ]
So, Mom, butter's got
35 milligrams of cholesterol.

[ Marilyn ]
What's that, per ounce?

No, that's one tablespoon.

So with cholesterol deposits
in the arteries,
definitely no butter for Sam.

Yeah, but turkey is great,
isn't it?

Yeah, but dark meat
is saturated with
double fat proteins.

Okay, we'll give Sam
all the white meat.Right.

You know, maybe we
shouldn't even serve wine.

I'm shocked by every person
in this house.

Mom? Mom, I know
it'd be better to clear
a path to the back.

It'd be longer that way,

and those extreme swings
in temperature--

that can cause a real shock
the circulatory system
of a heart patient, so--

Well, it's safer to stay
with the front then, I think.Yeah, I think so.

Christ!
You've all gone nuts.

Sam comes up the front walk,

and if he wants to go out
and make a fucking snowman,
he'll do it.

If he wants to smoke
a pack of cigarettes,

he'll smoke
a pack of cigarettes.

[ Jan ]
Dad, he'd die if he smoked.
Just die.

Think of Renata, Joe.Yeah.

On the tree.[ Tony ]
No, really, Dad.

Normally a guy wants to
jump out a window, okay,
but this is different now.

It's kinder to let the man
be a free man.

Just think about that.[ Doorbell Rings ]

Answer the door.

Hey, doll.Hi.

He's here.

He's doing fine--
Hi, Ma.Hi, darling.

Although his bronchial tubes
suddenly restricted,

but his inhaler
regulated him immediately.[ Marilyn ] Thank God.

Merry Christmas![ Chattering ]

[ Tony ]
Merry, merry.

- Merry Christmas, Sam.
- Merry Christmas to you.

Are we glad to see you.

You look fabulous.You look wonderful.

You look hot.

We sure are glad
to see you.

[ Jan ]
Sam, how are you?I'm great. How are you?

- [ Joe ] Everyone, move away.
- [ Gail ] Merry Christmas, Sam.

Jesus Christ,
give him some air
to breathe.

Yeah, he's right. Come on.Why don't you all
go in the house?

Let's go have some dinner.
Come on.

Be careful. Tony!

Help your sister.

You okay, buddy?

In family paradise.

[ Chattering ]

Oh, that's so good,
isn't it?

[ Sighing ]
Okay.

Okay.

[ Grunts ]

[ Kisses ]

[ Laughing, Chattering ][ Jan ]
Look at your aunt.

[ Sam Laughing ]

[ Chattering ]

Not the whipped, Ma.
The roasted.

Thank you.

Sam? Sam, there's
really good meat up here.

No, no, it's okay.
I tried the white.
I want some dark now.

Mmm. This is fabulous.

Sam, they're
all on the attack because
you're eating dark meat.

Aaah.I say, live your life,

and that doesn't mean
let me live it for you.Thank you very much.

I just want
to try a little...

of Marilyn's fabulous turkey.

I'm not gonna make
a life habit of it.

♪♪ [ Sings Fanfare ]
Recognize anything?

That's the bowl.
That's the bowl!

You made it!

On the thing.
You made it. You did it.
I can't believe it!

I'm so proud of you.Well, you know,
it's slightly off-center.

I think it's fantastic.
Look at that.

It's got lines and everything.
It's built like a brick
shithouse.

[ Laughing ]
Look at that.

It took me about
eight and a half days to make.

[ Joe Laughing ]Mmm.

I love this. It's like--
It's got fruit in it.

It's got utilitarian uses.

And, Marilyn,
you did everything
like, uh--

You're using it in fruit.
You could use it
with anything, right?

[ Baby Squeals ]

Excuse me.

Ren.

Renata.Oh, God.

Renata.

[ Chuckles ]
I'm sorry.

[ Ragged Breathing ]

I'm afraid to make love to you.

I'm afraid
you'll die in my arms,
and you're smoking.

Renata.No. No, I mean it.

No!

What are you trying to do, die?

You rush into my life
like a beautiful flash of light,

and then just as suddenly
go pfft!

- Vanish.
- I am not going to die
on you, Renata.

I'm living for the first time
in my life.

I could kick death
in the teeth.

I'd spit in its face,
Renata.

If death had hands,
I'd chop them off.

If death had eyes,
I'd burn them out
of its sockets for you.

If death had a liver,
I'd bite it out
with my teeth...

and stomp on it.

You would, huh?I would. I would.

And you know what else?

What else?

[ Sighs ]

Come over here.

Come over here
and sit on my lap.

No.

You come to me.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Chuckles ]

Okay.

And if death...

had a cock--

[ Giggles ]

If death had a cock--

[ Both Laugh ]

Hmm? Hmm?

You'd kick him in the balls.

And send him off
squealing.

Here we go.

I can do it.
I can do it.Okay.

[ Baby Fussing ][ Sam ]
Hey. Hey!

Hey, do you know we're
gonna skate out here
together one day?

Yes, we are.

[ Laughing ]
Yes, we are.

I'm gonna skate faster
than anyone has ever skated
in the history...

of heart patients.

Here. Here, here, here, here.Let's not break
any records yet.

There we go.There we go.

So,
what do you want to see?

My figure eights?

[ Laughs ]
My spin? One leg?

On one leg with a spin?
What?

You see that hole
out there in the ice?

It's like--
It's like a fishing hole.

- It's like a pile
of ice in the--
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I see it.Go straight out there,

and then come right back.

Yeah, sure.

[ Cooing ]

Shh.

Not bad!

Not bad!Sam!

[ Exclaims ]
Are you crazy?

[ Laughing ]

Let's go back.
I've had enough.

No, no, no. One more.

The ice boat.

Okay, you got it.

[ Coos ]

[ Imitates Baby ][ Laughs ]

Hey, you.

Watch me go backwards.

Backwards!

[ Laughs ]

Sam.

Sam?

Sam?

[ Grunts ]
Sam?

Sam? Sam?

Sam.

[ Ragged Breathing ]

Sam!

Sam!

[ Sobbing ]
No!

Oh, no.

God, no!

No! No!

No!

No!

[ Baby Coos ]

[ Weeping ]

[ Whispering ]
Jan.

I had the greatest time
of my life.

The greatest time ever.

[ Baby Fussing ]

[ Chuckling Softly ]

It's sleepy time.

It's sleepy time for you.

I used to love
watching you sleep
when you were that age.

Why don't you come and lie down
with Dad and me a few minutes?

Okay? You're gonna need
your strength today.

[ Joe ]
Hi, doll.

You gonna lie down?

Come on, baby.

I love you guys.

[ Sighs ]

[ Whispering ]

[ Whispering ]

One for the big guy.

[ Man ] ♪ Fly me to the moon

♪ Let me play among the stars ♪

♪ And let me see what spring is like ♪

♪ On Jupiter and Mars

♪ In other words

♪ Hold my hand

♪ In other words

♪ Baby, kiss me

♪ Fill my heart with song

♪ And let me sing forevermore

♪ You are all I long for

♪ All I worship and adore

♪ In other words

♪ Please be true

♪ In other words

♪ I love you

♪ Fill my heart with song

♪ Let me sing forevermore

♪ You are all I long for

♪ All I worship and adore

♪ In other words

♪ Please be true

♪ In other words

♪ In other words

♪ I love

♪ You ♪