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1
00:00:01,752 --> 00:00:04,588
- [breathing shakily]
2
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:23,523
- I just wanted--I just
wanted to be [indistinct].
3
00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:25,525
I just wanted it.
I really wanted it.
4
00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:27,194
I really wanted it.
5
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:30,364
[crying and speaking
indistinctly]
6
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:33,534
[soft dramatic music]
7
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♪ ♪
8
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,412
- I'm right here with you.
9
00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:40,916
- [sobbing]
10
00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:44,002
[whimpering]
11
00:00:45,504 --> 00:00:47,673
[sighs]
12
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:05,649
[gasps]
13
00:01:05,649 --> 00:01:08,986
Why did you have me
if you didn't fucking want me?
14
00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:14,950
♪ ♪
15
00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:16,743
[screams]
16
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:13,550
[crowd chanting faintly]
17
00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:15,594
TEAL: What I'm worried about
in this meet and greet
18
00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:17,471
is that I'm gonna be
with somebody who's fine,
19
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:19,014
and they're gonna flank me.
20
00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:20,599
I don't want to be
flanked by people.
21
00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:23,018
And I've got a few
that will do that here.
22
00:02:23,018 --> 00:02:24,311
HOST:
So at that point,
23
00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:27,689
I'll just kind of say
we have to move on.
24
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:29,024
- Yes, which I'd like.
25
00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:30,484
But they--you gotta have,
like, real tact,
26
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:31,985
'cause some of these people,
27
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,779
it's not like
a typical celebrity.
28
00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:35,739
Like, these people are
listening to me at 3:00 a. m.
29
00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:37,366
when they want
to kill themselves.
30
00:02:37,366 --> 00:02:39,326
[Usher speaking indistinctly]
31
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,495
GUARD:
You just need wristbands.
32
00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:49,836
- Our world is facing
some incredible challenges.
33
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,338
And what I love about Teal Swan
34
00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:54,299
is she gets rightto the heart of the matter.
35
00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:58,303
FOLLOWER: I felt likeshe was there for me.
36
00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:01,139
Like, I have almost
all of her books.
37
00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:02,808
And I've seen, like,
a lot of her videos.
38
00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:05,435
I take notes on everything.
39
00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:10,023
FOLLOWER: We drove three hoursstarting 1:00 a. m.
40
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:12,025
then flew three hours.
41
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:15,362
The airplane landed about
20 minutes before we got here.
42
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:16,613
So...
[laughs]
43
00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:19,533
[crowd chanting]
44
00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:22,202
FOLLOWER:Like, it's so straightforward.
45
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,745
- Yeah.
- She lays it all out.
46
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:26,415
Everything we're doing
in our family is by the book,
47
00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:27,958
following exactly
what Teal says.
48
00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:29,626
And it works.
49
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,130
FOLLOWER:She helped my grandma heal.
50
00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:35,173
Like, now my little sister's
brought into it.
51
00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:36,299
- Yeah.
- It's, like, her mission
52
00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:38,176
to, like, heal us all.
53
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:42,722
- Let's welcome Teal
onto the stage.
54
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:44,683
[cheers and applause]
55
00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:46,726
- Hello.
56
00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:52,899
Good to see you all.
57
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,530
I want to warn you in advance.
58
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:02,367
When I'm dealing
with somebody up here on stage,
59
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,744
some of you will get triggered
by what I say.
60
00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:07,873
I'm a mirror.
61
00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:11,376
What a mirror does is
it shows you the reality.
62
00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:14,754
It's obviously
really intimidating to be
63
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:17,382
getting naked emotionally,
no matter where you are.
64
00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:20,218
When you're doing it in front
of hundreds of people,
65
00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:22,429
it's even harder.
66
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:24,264
So I would like everybody here
67
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:27,184
to really give
unconditional presence.
68
00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:30,061
Because when I'm dealing
with somebody up here on stage,
69
00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:32,314
it does relate to you.
70
00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:34,608
The question is, how?
71
00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:41,114
Okay, so whoever has a question,
go ahead and raise your hands.
72
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,491
This one.
73
00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:45,619
[cheers and applause]
74
00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:50,040
- Wow, okay, so first of all,
it's crazy that I'm here
75
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:52,459
'cause I've been watching your
videos online for years now.
76
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,961
I've, like, visualized what
I'm gonna do when I'm up here,
77
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,671
and this is crazy--okay.
78
00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:59,591
[laughter]
79
00:04:59,591 --> 00:05:03,261
- My question is about
my spiritual path.
80
00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:05,305
For over a year, I feel--
not, like, stuck,
81
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,766
but I'm--like,
I'm not moving forward.
82
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:09,434
- So I feel like
I've been dealing
83
00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:10,811
with these, like, two parts.
84
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:11,895
- Okay.
85
00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:13,480
- Like, there's one
in a race car that says,
86
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,649
"Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom!
Time to go!"
87
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,150
And then we got another one,
he's just, like,
88
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,527
sitting on the floor,
89
00:05:18,527 --> 00:05:21,655
and, like, he's, like,
sad all the goddamn time.
90
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:25,867
- I had a baby,
and I want to go back to work,
91
00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:31,289
but I also have
a lot of judgment for myself.
92
00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:33,625
- You can do nothing better
for your daughter
93
00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:34,960
than to give her an example
94
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,546
of what a woman
in her passion looks like.
95
00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:41,341
That's what women haven't had.
We have not had this example.
96
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,510
[cheers and applause]
97
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:44,970
There's a reason why
you're both up here together.
98
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:46,721
So I'm gonna--I'm gonna play
with that for a little bit
99
00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:48,640
until we get really clear
on what's going on.
100
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:51,560
- I am the illegitimate child
101
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:54,145
of an affair
that ended a marriage.
102
00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:55,647
- Stop it! So am I!
103
00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:58,441
- Really?
What a vibrational fact.
104
00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:00,610
[cheers and applause]
105
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:04,072
- I love this. I just love it.
106
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:08,577
BLAKE:
Time flies, doesn't it?
107
00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:11,246
- Am I really out of time?
I can't do one more?
108
00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:12,622
CROWD: One more!
109
00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:15,166
BLAKE: You have to do--
it has to be quick.
110
00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:16,334
- Okay, it has to be quick.
111
00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:18,295
But, like,
when we do this--what?
112
00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:20,171
- It's never quick.
113
00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:21,965
[laughter]
114
00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:23,592
- I want to!
115
00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:26,011
I'm following my intuition.
It's happening.
116
00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:30,682
- You know, I've seen
some of your videos,
117
00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:33,476
and I think,
okay, yeah, I can do that.
118
00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:36,646
But then,
somewhere along the line,
119
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:39,983
there's just no motivation
to do anything.
120
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:42,235
TEAL:
If I was to ask you right now,
121
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,403
what is it gonna take for you
122
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:44,779
to be happy in life,
what's your answer?
123
00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:46,531
FOLLOWER:
Nothing. That's my problem.
124
00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:48,742
Nothing makes me happy.
Like, nothing.
125
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,410
- And your truth
is nothing's going to.
126
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,787
- Yes.
I think I'm not sure
127
00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:55,540
even what anything
feels like at this point.
128
00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:57,500
I don't know what I'm feeling.
129
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,044
- Then why are you still here?
130
00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:01,046
- I really don't know.
That's... [laughs]
131
00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:02,547
Why did I come up here?
I don't know.
132
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:04,424
Because I'm trying
to figure out--
133
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:05,717
I'm really trying
to figure out--
134
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:09,012
- Well, I mean why are you
still here on the planet?
135
00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:15,894
It's like part of you's
trying to find an answer
136
00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:17,771
to stay alive,
and part of you is like,
137
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,856
"I'm just gonna take us out.
138
00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:21,566
"Oh, look, here's another issue.
139
00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:23,985
Oh, look, here's another issue,"
until you die.
140
00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:28,573
People have
a very understandable
141
00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:31,576
yet unnatural fear of death.
142
00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:33,119
You have somebody
sitting in front of you
143
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:36,623
that does not have a problem
going to these places with you.
144
00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:39,626
Like, when we're really facing
that decision point,
145
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:43,088
play out both sides.
146
00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:44,506
I'm literally saying,
147
00:07:44,506 --> 00:07:47,759
go to the worst
of the worst-case scenarios.
148
00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:50,595
And make your mind up.
149
00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:53,348
None of us are gonna
get out of this thing alive.
150
00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:56,309
So the question is,
if you knew that,
151
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,395
what would you do different?
152
00:07:58,395 --> 00:08:00,021
Thank you so much.
153
00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:03,024
[cheers and applause]
154
00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:06,027
[gentle music]
155
00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:12,992
♪ ♪
156
00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:21,209
- What's up, Teal?
157
00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:25,171
I got a tattoo of you.
158
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:31,177
[car beeps]
159
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:38,184
♪ ♪
160
00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:56,953
- I never wanted
to get into this field.
161
00:08:56,953 --> 00:08:59,164
I never wanted
to get into this field.
162
00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:02,125
[cheers and applause]
163
00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:05,879
The spiritual fieldis a business.
164
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,548
- Everyone deserves
to choose how they feel,
165
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,425
to experience the love.
166
00:09:10,425 --> 00:09:12,218
TEAL:I hated spirituality.
167
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:15,430
- Ultimately, the secret is
to find stillness in the mind.
168
00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:16,890
TEAL: I wanted nothingto do with it.
169
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,892
- And you're getting
a two-year subscription.
170
00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:24,689
- I feel like I sort of
just started speaking
171
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:27,609
to what is
the most natural talent for me.
172
00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:28,985
The question that I thought
173
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:30,779
was the most important
to talk about this week
174
00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:33,114
is one that I have received
several times in the past.
175
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:36,910
The topic for today is:
what is the purpose of life?
176
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:37,994
The question that's been...
177
00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:41,122
My career reallyjust took off.
178
00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:43,124
I garnered so much attentionon YouTube.
179
00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:44,751
It was just, like...[imitates explosion]
180
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,169
- At the beginning
of our newscast,
181
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:48,880
we introduced you to Teal Swan,
a young girl...
182
00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:51,174
TEAL:I was doing interviews.
183
00:09:51,174 --> 00:09:53,551
I wrote books.
184
00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:56,846
People startedbuying my paintings.
185
00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:59,140
I'd created a communityof dedicated followers
186
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:00,975
called the Teal Tribe--
187
00:10:00,975 --> 00:10:03,937
millions of members strong.
188
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:07,982
I became the spokesperson
for every "lost toy"
189
00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:10,276
that there is in society.
190
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:13,488
I felt instantlyjust absorbed by this
191
00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:15,073
big, massive,money-making field
192
00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:17,325
that was, like,that's the new thing.
193
00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:21,871
But it was like the people
were not ready for it.
194
00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:24,916
- She is incorporating practices
195
00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:27,293
that can be dangerous
or harmful to people.
196
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:30,380
- She claims to have
extrasensory perception
197
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:31,923
and read people's minds.
198
00:10:31,923 --> 00:10:33,883
- It's just, it's detrimental.
It's destructive.
199
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:35,760
It's change your whole life,
change the way you think,
200
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:36,845
change the way you act
with people,
201
00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:38,263
change the way--everything.
202
00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:40,765
- The truth of the matter is,
she just has thousands
203
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:42,851
of desperate, lost,
204
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:46,146
confused followers that
are enforcing her delusion.
205
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:49,107
- What it boils down to
is that I'm teaching truth.
206
00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:51,985
I'm the one that'll tell you
how it is,
207
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:55,363
whether or notyou're able to handle it.
208
00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:58,158
I lack the capacity to stand
on the stage and be like,
209
00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,325
"This is wonderful.
210
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:00,952
Just soak up the good vibes,"
when I'm like,
211
00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:04,747
"You are literally in a chain
of addiction right now.
212
00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:06,374
"But if you come to me,
213
00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:09,377
you will watchtransformation take place."
214
00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:14,465
- I perceive her to be creative,
powerful, productive.
215
00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:16,092
- This woman is
a goddamn monster,
216
00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:18,344
and I suggest you do
a lot more research.
217
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:20,013
- This one hit me hard.
218
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,639
[overlapping,
conflicting dialogue]
219
00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:22,849
VLOGGER:
Fucking Teal Swan.
220
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:25,101
Teal Swan stuff,
who if you don't know is...
221
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:27,854
- I gotta give Teal Swan
mad props for this one.
222
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,898
I got a little Get to Know
Yourself game today.
223
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:32,358
[overlapping dialogue]
224
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,694
- Freakin' to heal this.
225
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:37,739
TEAL: What if you weren'talone in this?
226
00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:40,408
Maybe then, your life
might just be worth
227
00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:42,368
sticking around for.
228
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:50,335
- Can we spend, like, a minute
or two on the overall goal,
229
00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:52,212
where we are right now,
so you understand
230
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,714
a little bit of where I am
in my thought process,
231
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,466
in terms of the followers?
232
00:11:56,466 --> 00:12:00,595
So right now, we're at 1.2
million followers on Facebook.
233
00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:03,014
The next step,
in terms of competition,
234
00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:07,936
is to reach about
2.4 million followers--double.
235
00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:09,729
Because that's where
Eckhart Tolle is
236
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,773
and where Deepak Chopra is.
237
00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:14,150
The next one is double, too.
That's Tony Robbins.
238
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,569
It's at 4 million followers.
239
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,863
How do we get above that,
you know?
240
00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:22,408
So let's say 2.5 million
followers is my goal,
241
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:24,744
and I do whatever I can
to get her there.
242
00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:33,878
- When was the first year
you started doing this to me?
243
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:39,008
- Fucking day two?
- [laughs]
244
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:40,802
- What, every two
or three months,
245
00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:43,471
every three months,
for 17 years?
246
00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:47,308
Okay, Teal,
this worked out pretty well.
247
00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:49,435
- Yeah, but you gotta
make sure it's all in there.
248
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:50,853
- Uh-huh.
249
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,781
Okay.
250
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,324
- Bye.
251
00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:06,577
- Okay.
252
00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:08,913
All right, we are--
253
00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:13,251
we're gonna have better sound
than we've ever had, Teal.
254
00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:15,628
Recording.
255
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:18,923
When I first met Teal,I was 19.
256
00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:20,466
- What do you want done
with the person
257
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:21,968
who has hurt you
or someone else?
258
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:23,386
BLAKE: I looked at her--like, our eyes connected,
259
00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:26,097
and it was like thislaser beam, like, whoosh.
260
00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:30,977
She was someone who actuallysaw me for the first time.
261
00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:33,146
- So you can understand
how this process works...
262
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:37,191
BLAKE: When Teal and Istarted the company,
263
00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:39,569
it was like, all right, well,let's do this video series.
264
00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:41,863
We'll call it "Ask Teal."
265
00:13:41,863 --> 00:13:44,490
We did a video every week.
266
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:47,493
And haven't missed a weeksince the beginning.
267
00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:49,245
[applause]
268
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:51,998
Welcome, everybody.
My name is Blake.
269
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:55,752
I've lived with Teal
for 16 years.
270
00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:57,211
Us, as a group, you know,
271
00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:59,297
we are all here--
we're all matched to each other.
272
00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:00,923
We're all in this room
for a reason.
273
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:02,633
TEAL: This is an exercise
we do to, like,
274
00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:05,720
tear down the bubble between
ourselves and other people.
275
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:08,431
BLAKE:
Right there. You see that?
276
00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:09,807
She--
277
00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:13,269
- At least this is
comic relief, right?
278
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:15,104
- Hey, everybody.
[mumbling humorously]
279
00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:17,607
Come on.
Welcome to the show.
280
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:19,233
TEAL: [laughs]
BLAKE: All right.
281
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:20,985
Sorry.
I'm from the west.
282
00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:23,488
Don't--don't blame me.
I'm from Utah.
283
00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:26,407
[laughter]
284
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:29,035
Teal experiencedthe worst of the worst,
285
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:32,955
and she knows how badthe mind can get
286
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:36,209
and where someone is.
287
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:39,504
She can meet them on any level--
288
00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:42,048
any level of suffering.
289
00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:51,599
- Just whenever you're ready.
290
00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:56,270
TEAL:
The year was 2001.
291
00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:57,730
I was sitting in a hole,
292
00:14:57,730 --> 00:15:00,274
my wrists and ankles
tied together.
293
00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:02,318
I had been targeted
by a family acquaintance
294
00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:05,613
who, unbeknownst to my parents,
was a psychopath.
295
00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:06,906
I was emotionally exhausted
296
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,075
from almost 13 years
of torture.
297
00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:10,326
Despair was like a tornado
298
00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:12,787
that chased me
no matter where I ran,
299
00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:15,206
and I was tired of running.
300
00:15:15,206 --> 00:15:17,500
I began to design a process,
301
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,710
one that would help
make even the most wounded
302
00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:22,046
and fractured person
whole again.
303
00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:23,673
I realized
this was a breakthrough
304
00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:26,217
that could really
change the world.
305
00:15:26,217 --> 00:15:29,387
I call this approach
the Completion Process.
306
00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:31,806
[pensive music]
307
00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:35,059
I started to hold retreatsfor people
308
00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:39,272
to experiencethe Completion Process.
309
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:42,692
They come from all overthe world for two weeks.
310
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,530
GUIDE: Welcome to the
Completion Process.
311
00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:49,407
We're in for some
deep transformation
312
00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:50,783
while we're here.
313
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,326
FOLLOWER:I was hooked right away.
314
00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:55,163
There is no one else
on the planet who--
315
00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:58,082
everything they say,
I agree with it.
316
00:15:58,082 --> 00:15:59,500
[indistinct chatter]
317
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,127
FOLLOWER:I've heard so much about
318
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:03,337
what it's likejust to be in her presence.
319
00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:05,089
I'm trying to be cool about it
320
00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:07,175
'cause obviously there's
a part of me that's worried
321
00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:10,386
I'm just gonna fangirl
and be a little bit too much.
322
00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:13,848
FOLLOWER:I never heard anyone, like,
323
00:16:13,848 --> 00:16:16,100
speak so much truth.
324
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:18,186
I feel like she's Jesus.
[laughs]
325
00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:21,314
Why wouldn't...
326
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:24,358
everybody just, like,
treat her, like, so special?
327
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,737
FOLLOWER: You know,I've heard about the energy
328
00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:31,490
that's created whenshe comes into a room.
329
00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:34,535
I got goosebumps now.
Absolutely goosebumps.
330
00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:41,417
♪ ♪
331
00:16:46,047 --> 00:16:47,465
TEAL:
Okay.
332
00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:48,799
Sorry if I'm staring at you
a little bit.
333
00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:50,801
I want to--I want to gauge
where the room is first
334
00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:53,721
before I jump straight in.
335
00:16:59,977 --> 00:17:02,355
So many people
who come to healers
336
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,774
aren't really coming to heal.
337
00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:08,611
They're coming for a quick fix
to their emotional state.
338
00:17:08,611 --> 00:17:10,988
It's kind of sad to me,
but I also understand it.
339
00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:12,323
For the majority of people,
340
00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:14,617
if you just showed them
a red button and said,
341
00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:16,118
"Push this button
and you'll feel different,"
342
00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:17,870
they would push that button.
343
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,205
That's why our
pharmaceutical companies
344
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,958
are doing so well today.
345
00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:24,085
We're in the opposite business.
346
00:17:24,085 --> 00:17:25,378
We're not in the business
of people
347
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:26,879
feeling immediately better.
348
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:29,507
We're in the business
of healing.
349
00:17:29,507 --> 00:17:31,676
I'm going to ask you,
for this week,
350
00:17:31,676 --> 00:17:35,805
you start looking at the world
through the lens of trauma.
351
00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:38,015
What do I mean by that?
352
00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:41,852
The question is not,
what's wrong with you?
353
00:17:41,852 --> 00:17:44,772
It's, what happened to you?
354
00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:48,985
And unless we deal with that,
we just can't move forward.
355
00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:51,737
That's why you're here.
356
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:56,200
Completion Process is not
a trite self-help technique.
357
00:17:56,200 --> 00:18:00,580
It is an extremely intense
soul retrieval process
358
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:04,375
whereby you are undoing
the entire trauma.
359
00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:05,710
And the reason
that I have to give
360
00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:08,129
such a big warning
relative to this process is
361
00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:10,131
we're coming up against
mainstream psychology
362
00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:12,675
in a lot of ways.
363
00:18:12,675 --> 00:18:16,345
It is a major debate
whether reexperiencing a memory
364
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:19,724
is something that people
should even do.
365
00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:22,935
My rule is, if you want to come
within 50 miles of me,
366
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:26,105
you better be ready for
the deepest end of the pool.
367
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:32,445
♪ ♪
368
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,866
We're gonna do thisfor each person.
369
00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:38,534
I want you guysto break off into groups.
370
00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:44,248
We're coming backto this moment of trauma,
371
00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:47,668
so as to consciouslyrelive it.
372
00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:50,463
This is how we startto resolve it.
373
00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:04,852
- [inhales, exhales]
374
00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:10,650
- What are you seeing now?
375
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:13,152
- [inhales, exhales]
376
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,613
I feel like--
it feels like anger.
377
00:19:15,613 --> 00:19:16,822
- Mm.
378
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:20,409
- Really angry, like, rage.
379
00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:21,661
Like, this part of me
just, like,
380
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,788
wants to take this knife
that's here
381
00:19:23,788 --> 00:19:25,623
and just stab my mother.
382
00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:26,999
- Yeah.
383
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:30,127
- It fucking hates her so much.
384
00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:32,296
It wants--it wants her
to just, like,
385
00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:35,841
feel all of the pain
that she has inflicted.
386
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:38,552
- Mm.
- [exhales]
387
00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:40,638
- Hm.
Is there anything I can do
388
00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:44,684
for you
to help you feel better?
389
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:47,311
- I think just being here.
- Okay.
390
00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:51,691
- I just need to feel
someone there with me.
391
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:52,692
I never had that.
392
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,485
[sobbing]
I never had anybody touch me
393
00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:56,529
and tell me
that they were there for me.
394
00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:58,489
Every touch was unsafe.
395
00:19:58,489 --> 00:20:01,200
- Aww.
396
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,744
- I just remember my mom
hitting me so hard.
397
00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:07,248
And it was just unsafe.
It wasn't okay to touch.
398
00:20:07,248 --> 00:20:10,334
[sobbing]
399
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:15,172
It just hurts.
She's hurting me so bad.
400
00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:21,595
Just visualizing me stabbing
right into her heart.
401
00:20:21,595 --> 00:20:23,764
Just, like,
stabbing again and again.
402
00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:28,561
Like, why can't you see how much
you're fucking hurting me?
403
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:31,480
[screams]
404
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,567
[sobbing, wailing]
405
00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:43,743
TEAL:When we have a strong,
406
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:46,078
uncomfortable feelingin the present,
407
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:49,707
we close our eyesand sink into the feeling.
408
00:20:49,707 --> 00:20:51,041
We ask,
409
00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:53,544
when was the very first timeI felt this feeling?
410
00:20:55,379 --> 00:20:59,216
We invite the memoryto surface.
411
00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:01,218
Be presentwith whatever arises,
412
00:21:01,218 --> 00:21:04,388
regardless of what it is.
413
00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:07,808
By mentally making changesto the past,
414
00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:11,479
it causes mental changesto our present,
415
00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:14,899
like a puzzle piecegoing back into place.
416
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:21,363
- [exhales]
- Hm.
417
00:21:22,865 --> 00:21:25,242
Do you want to leave
this memory now?
418
00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:26,494
- [sighs]
419
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:33,083
- Same key, everybody.
[playing upbeat music]
420
00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:35,211
ALL:
♪ This little light of mine ♪
421
00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:38,130
♪ I'm gonna let it shine ♪
422
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:40,841
♪ This little light of mine ♪
423
00:21:40,841 --> 00:21:43,427
♪ I'm gonna let it shine ♪
- Whoo!
424
00:21:43,427 --> 00:21:45,679
ALL:
♪ This little light of mine ♪
425
00:21:45,679 --> 00:21:47,932
♪ I'm gonna let it shine ♪
426
00:21:47,932 --> 00:21:49,642
♪ Let it shine ♪
427
00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:51,852
FOLLOWER: Something I reallywant to tell you--
428
00:21:51,852 --> 00:21:53,270
this has been morelife-changing
429
00:21:53,270 --> 00:21:55,147
than I expected it to be.
430
00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:59,485
And I'm gonna come home
and I'm gonna be different.
431
00:21:59,485 --> 00:22:01,111
I'm really focused on this,
432
00:22:01,111 --> 00:22:04,365
and I feel like I really wantthis to be my life's work.
433
00:22:04,365 --> 00:22:06,158
Like, this is the mostconnecting thing ever,
434
00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:07,326
and that's exactlywhat I need.
435
00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:09,328
I need connection from people.
436
00:22:10,913 --> 00:22:14,458
[insects chirping]
437
00:22:14,458 --> 00:22:16,126
TEAL:With this process,
438
00:22:16,126 --> 00:22:20,798
the chances are you're gonnaoverhaul your entire life.
439
00:22:20,798 --> 00:22:24,468
It can be things like
being ostracized by the family.
440
00:22:24,468 --> 00:22:27,805
It can be things like,
"Oh, shit, I just realized
441
00:22:27,805 --> 00:22:31,517
I married somebody
for the wrong reasons."
442
00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:33,686
It can mean,
"I didn't want children.
443
00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:34,687
"What am I supposed
to fucking do
444
00:22:34,687 --> 00:22:36,939
now that I have
these two kids?"
445
00:22:36,939 --> 00:22:38,691
If the life
that someone is living
446
00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:41,861
is based off
of an inauthentic truth,
447
00:22:41,861 --> 00:22:43,529
when they start
to unpack themselves
448
00:22:43,529 --> 00:22:44,864
and realize
what they really need,
449
00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:48,075
they're probably gonna
be making massive changes
450
00:22:48,075 --> 00:22:52,162
that will affect everything
and everyone in their life.
451
00:22:52,162 --> 00:22:54,081
SIMON:
So I have a quick question.
452
00:22:54,081 --> 00:22:57,501
If you spend all your time
calling people's BS, right,
453
00:22:57,501 --> 00:22:59,003
is there anyone out of the team
that you would have
454
00:22:59,003 --> 00:23:03,674
enough respect for that
they could challenge you?
455
00:23:04,758 --> 00:23:06,260
- That's a strange question.
456
00:23:06,260 --> 00:23:08,387
Why is that
an important question?
457
00:23:08,387 --> 00:23:09,722
SIMON: Hm?
TEAL: Why?
458
00:23:09,722 --> 00:23:12,016
I should have someone above me?
459
00:23:14,351 --> 00:23:15,769
- Not above you.
460
00:23:15,769 --> 00:23:17,438
Like, who do you look up to,
to call--
461
00:23:17,438 --> 00:23:18,939
- I don't look up to anyone.
462
00:23:18,939 --> 00:23:20,733
SIMON: But I--and so I have
resistance against that,
463
00:23:20,733 --> 00:23:22,026
if I'm being brutally honest.
464
00:23:22,026 --> 00:23:24,904
TEAL: Why?
I should have someone above me?
465
00:23:24,904 --> 00:23:26,822
[chuckles]
It's not gonna happen.
466
00:23:26,822 --> 00:23:28,741
SIMON:
Is that stubbornness?
467
00:23:28,741 --> 00:23:30,326
- I wouldn't be
particularly aware
468
00:23:30,326 --> 00:23:32,870
if I wasn't able
to recognize the potential
469
00:23:32,870 --> 00:23:34,455
of someone
having more awareness than me.
470
00:23:34,455 --> 00:23:36,123
I've never met them.
471
00:23:38,584 --> 00:23:40,419
You seem to go
into resistance about this.
472
00:23:40,419 --> 00:23:42,254
I want to know what it's about.
[Follower laughs]
473
00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:43,797
SIMON:
Yeah, I do feel that way.
474
00:23:43,797 --> 00:23:45,883
TEAL: Where is
the sticking point with you?
475
00:23:45,883 --> 00:23:48,385
SIMON: I'm not here thinking
that you have all the answers
476
00:23:48,385 --> 00:23:49,845
and they're all right.
477
00:23:49,845 --> 00:23:51,972
I'm expressing everything
that comes up for me,
478
00:23:51,972 --> 00:23:56,185
every question,
every challenge and opposition.
479
00:23:56,185 --> 00:23:57,561
But I also don't have to agree
480
00:23:57,561 --> 00:23:59,772
with everything
that's being said by you.
481
00:23:59,772 --> 00:24:02,232
And nor should I--
by anyone else.
482
00:24:02,232 --> 00:24:04,360
- It would be the same if
I went to the Dalai Lama today
483
00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:08,197
and I said, "Okay, but, like,
you--you are in this place
484
00:24:08,197 --> 00:24:10,908
of, like, all-knowingness,
but who's all-knowing for you?"
485
00:24:10,908 --> 00:24:13,661
That's a challenge.
The reality for you is,
486
00:24:13,661 --> 00:24:15,454
you think there's
an actual fucking consequence
487
00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:17,581
for somebody
not having a mentor.
488
00:24:17,581 --> 00:24:20,084
You're afraid of
that consequence with me.
489
00:24:20,084 --> 00:24:21,919
So...
490
00:24:24,797 --> 00:24:26,256
I would love if you would
spell it out for us
491
00:24:26,256 --> 00:24:29,093
why I'm so fucking unsafe
if I don't have a mentor.
492
00:24:32,262 --> 00:24:35,099
SIMON:
It concerns me that...
493
00:24:35,099 --> 00:24:36,976
[sighs]
494
00:24:36,976 --> 00:24:39,561
I look up to people,
495
00:24:39,561 --> 00:24:43,732
and then I then find out
496
00:24:43,732 --> 00:24:47,987
that they are not
who I thought they were.
497
00:24:47,987 --> 00:24:50,155
Bikram.
498
00:24:50,155 --> 00:24:51,824
John of God.
499
00:24:51,824 --> 00:24:53,534
TEAL:
It's an authority thing.
500
00:24:53,534 --> 00:24:56,370
I can misuse my power.
I can do that.
501
00:24:56,370 --> 00:24:58,163
And I had better
be aware of that.
502
00:24:58,163 --> 00:24:59,623
I could take my skills,
503
00:24:59,623 --> 00:25:01,458
and I could ruin
someone's life with them.
504
00:25:01,458 --> 00:25:02,626
I have to be aware of that.
505
00:25:02,626 --> 00:25:04,878
Otherwise,
I'm not very safe, am I?
506
00:25:04,878 --> 00:25:07,589
I have no problem with people
not following me,
507
00:25:07,589 --> 00:25:09,299
if it's the right thing
for them.
508
00:25:09,299 --> 00:25:10,843
But play a game with me.
509
00:25:10,843 --> 00:25:14,596
Pretend that I could round
everyone up on the planet,
510
00:25:14,596 --> 00:25:17,808
and we found who
the fastest human was,
511
00:25:17,808 --> 00:25:20,310
and then you looked
at the fastest human and said,
512
00:25:20,310 --> 00:25:22,521
"You can't teach me running
513
00:25:22,521 --> 00:25:25,899
because you don't have
someone faster than you."
514
00:25:25,899 --> 00:25:29,528
That's what you're doing to me.
515
00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:31,572
So is this really
an argument about that,
516
00:25:31,572 --> 00:25:32,948
or is this an argument
about the fact
517
00:25:32,948 --> 00:25:35,784
that you don't believe
that that's me?
518
00:25:39,038 --> 00:25:40,998
- [sighs]
519
00:25:40,998 --> 00:25:47,963
♪ ♪
520
00:26:00,100 --> 00:26:01,435
- Okay, I'm struggling
with two memories here,
521
00:26:01,435 --> 00:26:04,063
because...
522
00:26:04,063 --> 00:26:06,065
like, the real conscious
awareness that, like,
523
00:26:06,065 --> 00:26:08,233
I'm different
than everyone else was--
524
00:26:08,233 --> 00:26:10,569
happened in kindergarten...
525
00:26:10,569 --> 00:26:11,904
TEAL'S MOM:
Teal, look at me.
526
00:26:11,904 --> 00:26:14,907
TEAL: With my mother.
527
00:26:14,907 --> 00:26:17,743
To put it mildly,I scared her to death
528
00:26:17,743 --> 00:26:19,578
from a very young age.
529
00:26:19,578 --> 00:26:20,704
- Yeah.
530
00:26:20,704 --> 00:26:22,247
TEAL'S DAD:
Can you wave to Mommy?
531
00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:23,707
TEAL'S MOM: Can you say--blow
kisses and wave "night night"?
532
00:26:23,707 --> 00:26:25,042
TEAL'S DAD:
Can you blow kisses?
533
00:26:25,042 --> 00:26:26,794
- Night night.
TEAL'S MOM: Night night.
534
00:26:26,794 --> 00:26:28,462
- I love you, Mother.
535
00:26:28,462 --> 00:26:30,964
TEAL'S MOM:
I love you, too, Teal.
536
00:26:30,964 --> 00:26:34,718
TEAL: I was seeingother-dimensional entities.
537
00:26:36,261 --> 00:26:39,848
I'm talking about being ableto see people's emotions,
538
00:26:39,848 --> 00:26:42,184
hear what people are thinking,
539
00:26:42,184 --> 00:26:45,437
seeing dead relatives.
540
00:26:45,437 --> 00:26:50,109
For my parents, my abilitieswere actually seen as curses.
541
00:26:50,109 --> 00:26:52,569
I watched this ripple effectgo across the community,
542
00:26:52,569 --> 00:26:56,824
where parents wouldn't let meinteract with their children.
543
00:26:56,824 --> 00:26:58,200
TEAL'S MOM:
Got it, Teal?
544
00:26:58,200 --> 00:26:59,743
TEAL: My mother dragged meto every therapist
545
00:26:59,743 --> 00:27:02,704
she could think of.
546
00:27:02,704 --> 00:27:07,167
And I receivedevery single diagnostic.
547
00:27:07,167 --> 00:27:09,586
TEAL'S MOM: Don't move yet.
Just stay right like that.
548
00:27:09,586 --> 00:27:13,298
TEAL:Schizophrenic. Bipolar.
549
00:27:13,298 --> 00:27:16,927
Borderline. Everything.
550
00:27:16,927 --> 00:27:19,763
TEAL'S MOM:
Very nice.
551
00:27:19,763 --> 00:27:22,474
TEAL: They don't knowwhat to do with me.
552
00:27:22,474 --> 00:27:24,142
Until this mancame into the family
553
00:27:24,142 --> 00:27:27,855
saying he'san alternative practitioner.
554
00:27:27,855 --> 00:27:30,107
He said, "I know what to dowith this kid.
555
00:27:30,107 --> 00:27:31,942
"Just let her come with meon the weekends
556
00:27:31,942 --> 00:27:35,320
and I will help herdeal with this."
557
00:27:37,155 --> 00:27:39,074
It never occurred to them
why it might be
558
00:27:39,074 --> 00:27:42,286
a little bit strange
for a 60-something-year-old man
559
00:27:42,286 --> 00:27:46,081
to want to spend so much time
with a little girl.
560
00:27:59,386 --> 00:28:00,888
[sighs]
561
00:28:00,888 --> 00:28:02,681
Okay.
"At six years old, 1990,
562
00:28:02,681 --> 00:28:05,893
"I was raped in a church
below our house.
563
00:28:05,893 --> 00:28:08,353
"He left me there
for what seemed like hours
564
00:28:08,353 --> 00:28:11,899
"and put me in a pit
he dug in his backyard.
565
00:28:11,899 --> 00:28:13,692
"He told me if I told anyone,
my family would die
566
00:28:13,692 --> 00:28:16,612
and my horse would be killed."
567
00:28:16,612 --> 00:28:18,363
That was how old I was.
568
00:28:21,617 --> 00:28:23,368
"February 1997.
569
00:28:23,368 --> 00:28:26,121
"Took me to a placebehind his home again.
570
00:28:26,121 --> 00:28:27,831
"He walked at meand picked me up by my throat
571
00:28:27,831 --> 00:28:30,375
"and put me on the floor.
572
00:28:30,375 --> 00:28:34,171
He raped me with my shirtstill on and drove me home."
573
00:28:36,298 --> 00:28:38,133
"Summer 1995.
574
00:28:38,133 --> 00:28:43,013
"He blindfolded me and gave mean injection into my arm.
575
00:28:43,013 --> 00:28:44,514
"I started to cryuncontrollably.
576
00:28:44,514 --> 00:28:47,893
"He laid me inside the houseon the living room carpet.
577
00:28:47,893 --> 00:28:50,771
Kept me drugged upwith ketamine."
578
00:28:50,771 --> 00:28:52,439
[sighs]
"I started writing journals.
579
00:28:52,439 --> 00:28:53,565
"Chronic headaches began.
580
00:28:53,565 --> 00:28:56,693
Trouble all the time
with cramps."
581
00:28:56,693 --> 00:28:58,070
I wrote this
when I was admitted
582
00:28:58,070 --> 00:29:00,197
to the hospital psych ward.
583
00:29:02,783 --> 00:29:06,078
For a suicide attempt.
584
00:29:06,078 --> 00:29:08,288
Age 17.
585
00:29:08,288 --> 00:29:10,457
One of the things that they,
like--therapists love to do,
586
00:29:10,457 --> 00:29:12,042
especially when you're in,
like, group therapy,
587
00:29:12,042 --> 00:29:13,877
is they have you do art
588
00:29:13,877 --> 00:29:18,090
that represents
the emotional space you're in.
589
00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:19,716
There it is.
590
00:29:19,716 --> 00:29:22,678
[soft dramatic music]
591
00:29:22,678 --> 00:29:29,851
♪ ♪
592
00:29:34,940 --> 00:29:37,818
When my worldcame crashing down,
593
00:29:37,818 --> 00:29:41,321
I knew I had to run awayfrom my abuser.
594
00:29:41,321 --> 00:29:44,449
[gentle music]
595
00:29:44,449 --> 00:29:47,285
I drove to Blake's house.
596
00:29:47,285 --> 00:29:53,667
♪ ♪
597
00:29:53,667 --> 00:29:57,462
So Blake bandaged me up...
598
00:29:57,462 --> 00:30:00,215
and sat and cuddled me.
599
00:30:00,215 --> 00:30:02,801
BLAKE: Can you say something
for the camera?
600
00:30:05,929 --> 00:30:08,181
Teal's camera shy.
601
00:30:08,181 --> 00:30:10,851
TEAL:And we fell in love.
602
00:30:12,310 --> 00:30:16,314
We lived a very simple lifewhere I was just trying
603
00:30:16,314 --> 00:30:19,693
to heal from everythingthat was happening.
604
00:30:19,693 --> 00:30:21,403
He was safe.
605
00:30:23,530 --> 00:30:25,866
He was absolutely unconditional.
606
00:30:25,866 --> 00:30:28,952
It did not matter what I did,
like--
607
00:30:28,952 --> 00:30:30,454
Which I'd never
experienced before.
608
00:30:30,454 --> 00:30:32,164
BLAKE: Look at that
beautiful girl there.
609
00:30:32,164 --> 00:30:34,249
- Psh.
BLAKE: [laughs]
610
00:30:34,249 --> 00:30:36,293
TEAL: I'd never reallyhad a safe environment
611
00:30:36,293 --> 00:30:38,128
till that time.
612
00:30:39,504 --> 00:30:42,257
He's the one that reallytaught me to trust.
613
00:30:44,176 --> 00:30:48,013
- People thank me a lot
for that,
614
00:30:48,013 --> 00:30:52,184
for saving Teal, in a way.
615
00:30:53,018 --> 00:30:55,854
But she was in so much painat the time.
616
00:30:55,854 --> 00:30:59,066
I just wantedto be there for her.
617
00:30:59,066 --> 00:31:02,194
I don't really feel
like a hero.
618
00:31:03,695 --> 00:31:05,489
You know, I was there
619
00:31:05,489 --> 00:31:09,451
and loved a person
at this right time, and...
620
00:31:09,451 --> 00:31:13,914
I hadn't really beenin many relationships.
621
00:31:13,914 --> 00:31:17,334
We found familywith each other.
622
00:31:19,002 --> 00:31:21,421
TEAL: Our romanticrelationship lasted a year,
623
00:31:21,421 --> 00:31:22,422
but when we broke up,
624
00:31:22,422 --> 00:31:25,926
we never stoppedliving with each other.
625
00:31:25,926 --> 00:31:31,515
We're looking at probably
12 or 13 relationships...
626
00:31:31,515 --> 00:31:34,559
since Blake.
627
00:31:34,559 --> 00:31:37,020
[indistinct chatter]
628
00:31:37,020 --> 00:31:39,731
PERSON:
Hi, Teal.
629
00:31:39,731 --> 00:31:41,983
Hi, Mark.
630
00:31:41,983 --> 00:31:44,361
Happy baby shower.
631
00:31:44,361 --> 00:31:46,571
TEAL:I've had five marriages.
632
00:31:47,364 --> 00:31:49,908
And Blake stayed with mefor all of them.
633
00:31:49,908 --> 00:31:51,618
[baby crying]
634
00:31:51,618 --> 00:31:53,328
TEAL: Why don't you
throw him in there...
635
00:31:53,328 --> 00:31:55,205
- [whines]
636
00:31:55,205 --> 00:31:58,166
TEAL: Relationshipsare not unidimensional.
637
00:31:58,166 --> 00:32:00,293
My son has been around Blakeas a second dad
638
00:32:00,293 --> 00:32:02,379
from the day he was born.
639
00:32:05,215 --> 00:32:06,800
So it's not like youthrow things out the doorway
640
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:11,054
just because it's not workingon a romantic level.
641
00:32:13,348 --> 00:32:15,433
He's my family.
642
00:32:18,436 --> 00:32:21,773
No matter what, we're ineach other's lives forever.
643
00:32:21,773 --> 00:32:25,569
♪ ♪
644
00:32:28,947 --> 00:32:32,033
[church bell ringing]
645
00:32:38,331 --> 00:32:41,251
[bird cooing]
646
00:32:49,384 --> 00:32:51,845
JULIANA: It's hardto find real connection
647
00:32:51,845 --> 00:32:54,806
in today's world.
648
00:32:54,806 --> 00:32:57,642
[horse grunts, bird crows]
649
00:32:57,642 --> 00:33:00,020
[ethereal music]
650
00:33:00,020 --> 00:33:01,938
Hello.
651
00:33:01,938 --> 00:33:03,732
Wanna come here?
652
00:33:05,358 --> 00:33:07,652
I felt completely isolated,
653
00:33:07,652 --> 00:33:11,948
and I was searchingfor community,
654
00:33:11,948 --> 00:33:14,492
and found Teal's work.
655
00:33:14,492 --> 00:33:18,997
♪ ♪
656
00:33:18,997 --> 00:33:22,500
At the beginning,I was watching the videos
657
00:33:22,500 --> 00:33:25,670
whenever somethingwould come up in my life,
658
00:33:25,670 --> 00:33:30,217
and then I went to theCompletion Process training.
659
00:33:31,968 --> 00:33:34,262
It touched meon a very deep level.
660
00:33:35,805 --> 00:33:38,308
There's something you get
from that--
661
00:33:38,308 --> 00:33:40,310
from that relationship
that you--
662
00:33:40,310 --> 00:33:44,397
that makes you feel seen,
and people want that.
663
00:33:44,397 --> 00:33:47,192
[sighs]
664
00:33:47,192 --> 00:33:50,028
And that's basicallywhere I got to know Blake.
665
00:33:50,028 --> 00:33:53,865
[gentle acoustic music]
666
00:33:53,865 --> 00:33:55,617
I love his big heart,
667
00:33:55,617 --> 00:33:58,203
where he feels likehe tries to help everyone
668
00:33:58,203 --> 00:34:01,039
and get themout of their pain.
669
00:34:01,039 --> 00:34:02,707
I feel like he got me.
670
00:34:02,707 --> 00:34:06,503
Like, with just a few words,he understood where I'm at.
671
00:34:06,503 --> 00:34:08,004
- This is Osho.
672
00:34:08,004 --> 00:34:10,173
This is Goldie.
673
00:34:10,173 --> 00:34:12,592
That's Stripekisser.
674
00:34:12,592 --> 00:34:14,052
Peanut.
675
00:34:14,052 --> 00:34:16,554
And Fiona.
676
00:34:16,554 --> 00:34:19,766
Where you going?
677
00:34:19,766 --> 00:34:21,768
[chuckles]
678
00:34:21,768 --> 00:34:26,022
I love them,
but they are just stuck there,
679
00:34:26,022 --> 00:34:27,691
in that tiny, little world...
680
00:34:30,277 --> 00:34:32,404
Where nothing changes.
681
00:34:32,404 --> 00:34:39,369
♪ ♪
682
00:34:43,039 --> 00:34:45,542
Hello?
683
00:34:45,542 --> 00:34:46,793
- Hello.
684
00:34:46,793 --> 00:34:48,211
BLAKE:
Hey. How's it going?
685
00:34:53,049 --> 00:34:57,137
BLAKE: Yeah.
You nervous about everyone here?
686
00:35:00,390 --> 00:35:03,268
- Well, they're very excited
to see you,
687
00:35:03,268 --> 00:35:06,855
and to add
a new family member, so...
688
00:35:11,192 --> 00:35:12,819
BLAKE:
Pretty courageous.
689
00:35:12,819 --> 00:35:13,737
JULIANA:Yeah.
690
00:35:22,954 --> 00:35:24,664
BLAKE:
So I'll see you soon?
691
00:35:26,583 --> 00:35:27,500
BLAKE:
Bye, bye.
692
00:35:41,097 --> 00:35:43,808
- [speaking German]
693
00:35:43,808 --> 00:35:44,809
- Mm.
694
00:35:48,813 --> 00:35:51,691
[speaking German]
695
00:36:15,215 --> 00:36:20,679
♪ ♪
696
00:36:20,679 --> 00:36:22,305
TEAL: All right, Blake,
you and I need to talk about
697
00:36:22,305 --> 00:36:25,475
this woman.
698
00:36:25,475 --> 00:36:28,186
You're, like, so one-track,
it's kind of scary.
699
00:36:28,186 --> 00:36:30,605
BLAKE: Uh-huh.
- And I'm afraid that...
700
00:36:30,605 --> 00:36:33,191
she's gonna show up,
and you're just gonna be,
701
00:36:33,191 --> 00:36:35,902
like, totally fixated,
totally in lovey mode.
702
00:36:35,902 --> 00:36:38,655
You realize you've got, like,
a lot of responsibilities.
703
00:36:38,655 --> 00:36:42,492
- Okay, I don't know.
I guess--I guess it just--
704
00:36:42,492 --> 00:36:44,369
I'll just say
what I'm hoping.
705
00:36:44,369 --> 00:36:46,162
TEAL: I feel like you want
to be able to just live life
706
00:36:46,162 --> 00:36:47,622
without thinking
about the consequences.
707
00:36:47,622 --> 00:36:49,374
That's what it feels
like to me.
708
00:36:49,374 --> 00:36:51,710
BLAKE:
Well, I mean, I know
709
00:36:51,710 --> 00:36:55,213
your life is, like,
710
00:36:55,213 --> 00:36:57,424
serious a lot of the time.
711
00:36:57,424 --> 00:37:00,510
Maybe it's more serious than
I would be in my household,
712
00:37:00,510 --> 00:37:01,720
or whatever, you know,
beyond the mission--beyond--
713
00:37:01,720 --> 00:37:05,014
- Like, anybody--
anybody who gets to know us--
714
00:37:05,014 --> 00:37:09,769
anybody who gets to know us
has an instantaneous platform.
715
00:37:09,769 --> 00:37:11,479
This is what
you're not thinking about.
716
00:37:11,479 --> 00:37:14,232
You're, like,
blindly trusting people.
717
00:37:14,232 --> 00:37:16,443
All this girl
has to fucking say is,
718
00:37:16,443 --> 00:37:19,237
"I was around--
I lived with Teal.
719
00:37:19,237 --> 00:37:20,947
I lived near her.
I was part of her community."
720
00:37:20,947 --> 00:37:24,409
Everyone's like, "Oh, really?"
Like, it's that fast.
721
00:37:24,409 --> 00:37:27,078
It's--you're--
you chose into a life
722
00:37:27,078 --> 00:37:29,330
where it's not simple anymore.
723
00:37:29,330 --> 00:37:31,291
[tense percussive music]
724
00:37:31,291 --> 00:37:33,710
Only after a very,
very long time
725
00:37:33,710 --> 00:37:37,839
do I know whether I can
trust somebody or not.
726
00:37:37,839 --> 00:37:40,049
That's scary because
I don't know this person.
727
00:37:40,049 --> 00:37:41,718
She's--all of a sudden,
728
00:37:41,718 --> 00:37:44,763
I have a person whose truth
and boundaries I don't know,
729
00:37:44,763 --> 00:37:47,557
and she's just moving
into my community.
730
00:37:47,557 --> 00:37:51,895
♪ ♪
731
00:37:55,899 --> 00:37:58,318
[applause]
732
00:38:04,783 --> 00:38:09,454
- I can't seem to decide
to commit to life or death.
733
00:38:10,747 --> 00:38:13,958
I have been straddling
the fence
734
00:38:13,958 --> 00:38:17,921
between--there's so much beauty
in this world,
735
00:38:17,921 --> 00:38:21,424
and I know that,
and I want to be here for it,
736
00:38:21,424 --> 00:38:23,927
but I've done
the suffering thing.
737
00:38:23,927 --> 00:38:30,475
So the question is,
is how to know necessarily...
738
00:38:33,186 --> 00:38:37,106
If my time is done or not.
739
00:38:37,106 --> 00:38:40,151
- If you're still asking
that question, it's not done.
740
00:38:40,151 --> 00:38:43,279
- [chuckles]
Fuck.
741
00:38:43,279 --> 00:38:46,324
[cheers and applause]
742
00:38:48,701 --> 00:38:50,954
- You have no idea
how many people...
743
00:38:50,954 --> 00:38:53,164
FOLLOWER: A lot of people.
- Are feeling that way. Yeah.
744
00:38:53,164 --> 00:38:57,001
A lot of people.
- Yeah. I figured.
745
00:38:57,001 --> 00:38:58,169
TEAL:
By raise of hands--
746
00:38:58,169 --> 00:39:02,048
and I need you
to be honest, okay?
747
00:39:02,048 --> 00:39:05,969
How many of you feel like
you're not doing okay at all?
748
00:39:11,349 --> 00:39:13,726
It saddens me that,
when I fly around the world,
749
00:39:13,726 --> 00:39:15,311
we're sitting
in these audiences,
750
00:39:15,311 --> 00:39:18,523
and everyone's lonely.
751
00:39:18,523 --> 00:39:21,568
This is the emotional Dark Age
that you are living in.
752
00:39:28,950 --> 00:39:31,953
[cheers and applause]
753
00:39:31,953 --> 00:39:34,831
[soft dramatic music]
754
00:39:34,831 --> 00:39:38,042
♪ ♪
755
00:39:38,042 --> 00:39:40,003
VLOGGER: By no means havewe figured out mental health
756
00:39:40,003 --> 00:39:41,337
and suicide in our society.
757
00:39:41,337 --> 00:39:42,797
We've got a long way to go.
758
00:39:42,797 --> 00:39:44,924
But should we be listeningto the words of someone
759
00:39:44,924 --> 00:39:47,802
who doesn't have any educationqualification on this
760
00:39:47,802 --> 00:39:50,179
because she believes thather extrasensory abilities
761
00:39:50,179 --> 00:39:52,724
uniquely qualify her?
762
00:39:52,724 --> 00:39:54,350
VLOGGER:Vulnerable people want someone
763
00:39:54,350 --> 00:39:55,685
to hand them their answers.
764
00:39:55,685 --> 00:39:57,729
Like, it's just
a psychological fact.
765
00:39:57,729 --> 00:40:00,940
A lot of vulnerable people want
someone to be their savior.
766
00:40:00,940 --> 00:40:04,861
And this person has done thaton a huge scale.
767
00:40:05,904 --> 00:40:08,281
VLOGGER: She really isbuilding this brand
768
00:40:08,281 --> 00:40:11,618
and connecting with peoplethrough her YouTube videos
769
00:40:11,618 --> 00:40:15,538
and her Instagram posts,but who regulates this stuff?
770
00:40:15,538 --> 00:40:17,457
VLOGGER: Sometimes,the easiest thing
771
00:40:17,457 --> 00:40:20,251
to find onlineisn't the best thing to find.
772
00:40:20,251 --> 00:40:24,213
VLOGGER: Teal Swan has over145 million views online.
773
00:40:24,213 --> 00:40:25,715
- I thought it was just
774
00:40:25,715 --> 00:40:27,926
damaging,
useless advice, really,
775
00:40:27,926 --> 00:40:30,553
from someone who was, you know,
a bit too big for their boots.
776
00:40:30,553 --> 00:40:32,847
But actually,
the reality of it
777
00:40:32,847 --> 00:40:35,892
was that people
had followed this advice,
778
00:40:35,892 --> 00:40:38,603
felt encouraged to killthemselves and done so.
779
00:40:38,603 --> 00:40:40,605
VLOGGER:She's an actual cult leader
780
00:40:40,605 --> 00:40:44,192
that has a pretty strong
following here on TikTok
781
00:40:44,192 --> 00:40:45,860
in the spiritual community.
782
00:40:45,860 --> 00:40:50,073
She's likened suicideto a "reset button"
783
00:40:50,073 --> 00:40:52,450
because she believesin reincarnation.
784
00:40:54,786 --> 00:40:59,123
MOTHER: You would haveto convince me otherwise
785
00:40:59,123 --> 00:41:03,086
that Teal's teachings didnot play a significant role
786
00:41:03,086 --> 00:41:07,757
in the mind of our daughterwhen she took her life.
787
00:41:09,425 --> 00:41:11,552
- Oh, God.
788
00:41:14,013 --> 00:41:16,724
- ♪ Na, na, na, na ♪
789
00:41:16,724 --> 00:41:19,811
[Unloved's "Sorry, Baby"]
790
00:41:19,811 --> 00:41:23,147
♪ Na, na, na, na, na ♪
791
00:41:23,147 --> 00:41:25,149
[indistinct chatter]
792
00:41:25,149 --> 00:41:29,237
♪ Na, na, na, na, na ♪
793
00:41:29,237 --> 00:41:31,114
[indistinct PA announcements]
794
00:41:31,114 --> 00:41:34,534
SINGER:♪ There's only so many times ♪
795
00:41:34,534 --> 00:41:37,370
TEAL: This career is whereI live and die.
796
00:41:37,370 --> 00:41:38,663
SINGER:♪ You can say this ♪
797
00:41:38,663 --> 00:41:41,374
TEAL: I'm trying to endthe cycle of suffering.
798
00:41:41,374 --> 00:41:43,126
♪ ♪
799
00:41:43,126 --> 00:41:45,086
SINGER:♪ But it runs out of meaning ♪
800
00:41:45,086 --> 00:41:48,297
TEAL: It's like, you're eitherin or you're out.
801
00:41:48,297 --> 00:41:49,590
SINGER:♪ After saying ♪
802
00:41:49,590 --> 00:41:51,259
TEAL:You either understand this,
803
00:41:51,259 --> 00:41:52,677
or you get off the ship.
804
00:41:52,677 --> 00:41:55,638
SINGER: ♪ If at firstyou don't succeed ♪
805
00:41:55,638 --> 00:41:58,224
TEAL: I'm gonna carry itto the ends of the Earth.
806
00:41:58,224 --> 00:42:01,936
♪ ♪
807
00:42:01,936 --> 00:42:03,354
If I say, you know,
I'd like to get to the point
808
00:42:03,354 --> 00:42:05,356
where I'm considered to be
more spiritually influential
809
00:42:05,356 --> 00:42:07,817
on this Earth than the Pope,
some people would be like,
810
00:42:07,817 --> 00:42:09,694
"Yeah, that's not gonna happen."
811
00:42:09,694 --> 00:42:11,738
Fuck that
"It's not gonna happen."
812
00:42:12,488 --> 00:42:14,323
SINGER:♪ Try ♪
813
00:42:14,323 --> 00:42:17,618
♪ ♪
814
00:42:17,618 --> 00:42:19,203
♪ That's two ♪
815
00:42:19,203 --> 00:42:22,081
♪ ♪
816
00:42:22,081 --> 00:42:26,044
♪ Try again ♪
817
00:42:26,044 --> 00:42:28,629
♪ That's three ♪
818
00:42:28,629 --> 00:42:32,091
♪ 'Cause it runsout of meaning ♪
819
00:42:32,091 --> 00:42:34,510
PERSON: We hireda private investigator
820
00:42:34,510 --> 00:42:35,845
to clear out the facts.
821
00:42:35,845 --> 00:42:38,181
- They're claiming Teal
was responsible
822
00:42:38,181 --> 00:42:39,974
for Leslie's demise.
823
00:42:39,974 --> 00:42:41,893
[dramatic music]
824
00:42:41,893 --> 00:42:44,187
- I define myself as an expert
in human suffering.
825
00:42:44,187 --> 00:42:46,439
PODCASTER: Why do people callyou a cult leader, then?
826
00:42:46,439 --> 00:42:47,857
JULIANA:I feel at home.
827
00:42:47,857 --> 00:42:50,193
It's a totally different home,
but I feel at home.
828
00:42:50,193 --> 00:42:53,196
TEAL: Blake is the personthat I'm closest to.
829
00:42:53,196 --> 00:42:55,907
The problem comes whenevera girl that he's with
830
00:42:55,907 --> 00:42:58,618
has a truth that opposes mine.
831
00:42:58,618 --> 00:43:00,828
Then it's her versus me.
61296
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