All language subtitles for Ternet.Ninja.2.2021.DANISH.1080p.BluRay.x264-CONDITION

Translated with www.deepsubtitles.com

VISIT THAILAND NOW!

Hello? It's me.
How far have we got?

- We're pretty much there.
- We are? I'll say.

And the doll?
Did you get rid of it?

Yes, it's been taken care of. You don't need it.
to worry about anymore.

Great.
And what about their main witness?

Don't worry about it.

- They don't have a key witness.
- That's what I like to hear.

And the list, do you have it?

I got it right here.
All the names and addresses.

There's no loose ends. You are...
halfway to freedom, Eberfrö.

That's it. That's it. I'd like to see that,
who can stop me now.

(Breathing heavily)
Watchful look in the eye

Ice water in the bloodstream
nerves on the outside of my clothes

when the moon hangs high
over the roofs of the city

the hooded one sues
claims the city back

next level
time to get those shoes sharpened

get in the way
up the hill to a higher plateau

next level drop everything to stop'
while the game is good

Ready for the next level
the gentlemanly two's

next level no scraper
And that's the way it's gonna be

♪ It's a good time ♪
You just give it another gear

Next level, the excitement grows
It goes without saying

# If you put your ass on the line
♪ It stings ♪

The best man stinks
in his limp slumber

shielded by a hero
Without superpowers and capeless

war on the paths
traps in the tunnels

prowling in bushes
And give the bullies the heave-ho

The Batmobile is at the door
So hop in

♪ Observe, patrol ♪
In my hood like Robin

You say you don't understand why
It's something I gotta make sure of

But I'll ask
If I don't, who the hell will?

Next level it's about to hit
Now that you can

Don't just leave shit alone
But take care of it

next level people who just give up
It's too easy

You've got that responsibility
You can't take it, can you?

next level
Make your presence felt with a smashing sail

Beyond the steppes
Sticks and stones Roofs and tiles

next level
give it your all

runs vertically up the wall
even though the wall is steep

- Good morning.
- Good morning, manse.

- You want some breakfast?
- Yes, please.

- Is it under the cement?
- Hey, you.

- Hey!
- Hi, honey.

- So, how'd it go?
- It went great! Sune?

- I'm playing!
- Sune's getting a game...

- Come down here! I have good news!
- I'm coming!

- Good morning, Aske.
- Good morning, Jørn.

- Oh, Jørn. Didn't we agree...
- It's summer vacation.

- Basser! How many can you take?
- Go to it. There must be for Cinderella.

- Are they from the vegan bakery?
- No, they're not. Isn't it out of business?

- Why do you have paint on your hands?
- Well...

Well, listen, guys. I've been working
with my digestive app.

- and I've hit some speed bumps,
but it's been worth it.

- Did you sell it, honey?
- Not just sold it.

Nordic Fitness has purchased
the rights and hired me.

- as master coach and chief developer
for their nutrition program.

But that's amazing!
Jørn as a manager!

- Oh, right.
- Congratulations.

- Fucking nice, Dad.
- So, Sune. The language.

But that's not the only thing. Voilà.
An advance of 150,000 kroner.

That's a fucking lie.

Yes, it's just for the hell of it,
or what?

I want to celebrate by inviting
you all on a vacation.

- Are we going travelling?
- That's fantastic!

- Oh, great!
- So where are we going?

We have to vote on it,
so I made a suggestion box.

- and the idea is that you write
your wish and put it in the...

- So you put it in the box?
- Couldn't we come to Spain?

Let's think about it,
and we'll use the suggestion box.

- There's also something exciting in Germany.
- Or Spain.

- Frankfurt, for example.
- Hey, you need the box, honey.

- I know, I know, I know.
- You're amazing, honey.

- I can't believe we're going away.
- I know, right?

- Yes, whoo!
- Oh, my gosh.

Hi, this is Jessica...

...voice mail. I'm on it.
with something important. Please leave a message.

Hi, this is Aske. Did you get my
messages? It's been a while...

- And I miss you like crazy! Møs!
- Don't do that!

- What are you going to vote for?
- Frankfurt.

- The hell you are!
- And you don't talk to each other.

- Don't you write Spain?
- Why not?

That's where the Spanish pipes come from.
You know, the ones you can eat.

- They're only called cane in Denmark.
- They're called churros all over the world.

It means fried dough in Spanish.
I googled it.

Why are you going to Spain?
You can just go to Tivoli.

We can't go on a fucking holiday
in Tivoli. Come on, Aske.

Spain! Spain! Spain!

If I write Spain,
will you get out?

- Yes! Cool, bro! Two for everybody!
- Mm.

Or... Fuck Frankfurt!

How long do I have to wait?
There's nothing to get

at least equal
if we' okay

How cold is your heart?
Every time I check it's

the same I see
on my display

Three dots looking at me
For an eternity

Three dots
with a power that is quite sinister

Three dots, no words
But a clear message

Three dots say it all
You'll never know

Parkour! Le parkour!
Street movement!

Invented in Jamaica by the paperboys
as an antidote to snow.

- Yeah! More energy!
- Come on, relax. I guess she writes.

Aren't you guys dating? You were standing
kissing at the graduation party.

We haven't talked in a week,
and I've written several times.

- Why don't you go over there?
- I can't come over.

87.5% of all women prefer..,
their partner to be more proactive.

Why don't you drive by her on your way home?

- Girls love it when you're spontaneous.
- And fragrant.

Ash! Concentration!
Have you got that jump under control?

Yeah, I got it. No. Not quite.

Then it's a bad time
to have a talk club.

- Come on, Aske.
- Yeah, you got it this time.

Let's go, let's go, let's go! Whoo-hoo!

- Goddamn it!
- Fuck.

Ash! Where's your confidence?
Man up.

Obstacles aren't real.
They only exist in your mind.

Now get moving!

Hey, Jess... What's up, Jessica?

Well, I just stopped by
on my way home from practice.

You know, uh... I work out.
Yeah, are you crazy?

Goodbye, Aske. I was about
making yellow peas. Want to come in?

- Is Jessica home?
- She is.

- She's been waiting for you.
- Has she?

She's all dressed up.
for over an hour now.

Jessica? It's the prince.
on the white horse!

Are you going to taste it? Yellow peas, Cinderella.
There's nothing better.

- I think I'll stand.
- It needs pesto.

- Hi, guys. Aske? What are you doing here?
- Hey, hey, hey, hey! Well, I'm going to something...

- Oh, Jessica's got a guy over!
- What's up, bad boy?

- Oh, okay. It's just Aske.
- False alarm after all. Hey, girlie.

- Hi, Mie.
- I'm Fie.

- No, that's right.
- Right, sorry. It's me.

Hey, honey. Are we too early?
He's not coming, is he?

- Well, we agreed no kids, right?
- High-five!

- Can you go upstairs?
- If you'd rather be free of us...

To get a price tag right in the forehead.
50% off.

- Hashtag yellow and free.
- Hashtag used strollers.

It's super sweet that you stopped by,
but it's not so good today.

- I'm going to a party.
- Can I just come?

Yeah, but that's just because
it's some people from high school.

I'm not saying,
you're being childish or anything...

- Is that Marco calling?
- No, we're waiting for Jessica.

- He's just such a bad boy.
- Jessica, hurry up.

Cinderella, I'll see you later.
one of these days, right?

Bad boy?

- Hello?
- What's up, did you go to Jessica's?

No, I just got a little busy.

Ulysses?
After everything with Glenn and that...

You don't say,
I was such a bad boy?

- Oh, okay. Why is that so funny?
- You're just a different guy.

You're like...
You're just so... so Aske.

But Glenn and the fight?

Bad boy, that's more like it,
how to talk to the girls.

Confidence, like. Girls love,
when you're in the driver's seat and you say:

- Hey, bitch, this is how it's gonna be!
- Trunte? Okay.

- You're so funny, Cinderella. Bad boy.
- Ulysses?

Hello? Ulysses?

Ah!

You drive like a broken arm,
human.

- Is that really you? Ow, damn it!
- Nice to see you.

Do you know how much I have
missed you? I thought you were dead.

I fucking am.
I've been dead for 400 years.

- Yeah, but dead.
- I guess you're never really dead.

Pick me up.
Something's wrong, human.

- I can feel it.
- Shit. Maybe your leg's broken.

There must be something wrong with our
mission since I showed up here.

- So you didn't come on your own?
- A spirit doesn't go on a social call.

We're bound to each other by a vow
to get revenge on a child killer.

- I thought we'd done that.
- We need to find out what happened.

But first things first.
Do you have any cold cabbage at home?

I didn't think so,
it was a social visit.

Nobody says we can't have it.
while we're getting our revenge.

Watch the stomach.
Hedgehogs can't take milk.

Fuck milk, I just need
I just need cold cabbage. Well, that's the mission.

Hm. "Narcotics-Faced Toy Giant
released. Evidence Gone."

- There's something about this.
- In that one?

Yeah, hold on.

Phillip Eberfrø, who is imprisoned
for murder and drug smuggling.

- will now be released, as all evidence
against him has disappeared.

The teddy bear has disappeared
from an otherwise guarded evidence warehouse.

I wasn't a teddy bear!

Crown witness, children's factory manager
Chan Bam Yu, has been found dead.

He's the one with the bamboo stick.

A list of ten children who were
witnesses have also disappeared.

The prosecution has
has no legal power

- to detain Eberfrö.

Yet Eberfrø's lawyer,
Carsten Nokken Gahn, is not satisfied.

No, I am not satisfied. The judge
has confiscated Mr Eberfrø's passport.

- so he can't leave
Thailand until the case is closed.

My client is innocent and has
suffered unnecessarily in prison.

The judge denies
to release him before the 16th.

That's next week!

A week is a long time in prison.

We have to be there.

In Thailand? I promised Sune,
we were going to Spain.

You promised Eberfrø would go to jail.
You still owe me.

Because you pushed Glenn? I'll pay.
rocking interest on that debt?

- We still need proof.
- Then we'll have to find some proof.

- We can't just do that.
- Hey, we're ninjas.

We'll have to improvise.

You said "we"?
You said "we" are ninjas.

Wouldn't you say that we were
kind of bad boy-ish?

Yeah, well, okay, I'm a ninja.

So I guess
pretty bad boy-ish.

- But what am I?
- A kid?

If I'm on the mission,
aren't I also a ninja?

Ninja is nothing,
you can become that way.

- It's something you're born to do.
- Well.

But if you help with the mission,
...I suppose it's only fair...

- that you, by way of exception.
...you'll be made a ninja apprentice.

- Really?
- And that's some bad boy shit.

Why don't you start by finding out..,
how to get to Thailand.

Ash? Oh, mommy's little vet.

That's very sweet, but you're
have to keep him in the shed.

Jørn has an allergy.
to having an animal in the house.

- Is he allergic to hedgehogs?
- Do we have any antihistamines?

He has to stay in the shed.

You don't mean that.
I can't be here.

- Not for long, anyway.
- You need to get into another body.

We can't have
a hedgehog on the plane.

- I threw out my teddy bears.
- I'm not gonna be a teddy bear!

- So is there anything like this?
- And there's something like this.

- It's got moving legs.
- And boobs!

- I'm not gonna be a bitch.
- The Middle Ages are over.

- Girls are just as good as boys.
- Yeah, sewing and cooking.

- What? What? What?
- Sew!

Who's sick?

Ah! Mm!

Take a bread-free morning

You can't blow
with flour in your mouth

Mommy?

celiac gluten free

- take it away so you' sweet
- Mom?

coeliac
one man's bread another man's...

- Hello! Mommy! Mommy!
- Yes?

Can you... Do you remember
my checkered ninja?

Yeah, the one from Uncle Stewart?
Where did it go, anyway?

I lost it. So I was thinking,
if you could make me a new one?

- A ninja doll?
- Same size, button eyes.

- You remember what it looked like, don't you?
- Oh, yeah.

Actually, I think I have something
some nice plaid over in the batting cage.

Nobody's pulling out! I'm just gonna...
get my camera. It's for the app.

It'll be exciting,
where we're going on vacation.

- About that...
- Spain!

And remember, you don't talk about the trip.
You can easily influence each other.

I'll see you later.
Where's the nudist beach? Olé!

Hm... Mom?

I saw this super cool movie
on YouTube called...

... "Thailand - vegan paradise".

- Vegan's?
- Yeah, there's virtually no meat.

They're Buddhists and very
concerned with spiritual development.

It might be fun to see one day.

We're not talking about,
what we're voting for, right?

Oh, no, honey.

I'm happy, too,
as long as we're together.

Then I can walk around
in Frankfurt and eat pork.

Thailand - vegan paradise.

THAILAND TRAVEL

KAH SI ATH PRISON

Siren? Here we go.
We open the suggestion box.

Aske, are you coming?
We're gonna play eagle eye!

The situation is that there is
four votes left in the ballot box.

You can't vote for yourself,
and you can't vote blank.

Yes.

So, Fnuggi. We're just gonna
to be here together.

I finished your teddy bear.
It's so cute.

Frankfurt.

Hm. Spain.

- What? Thailand.
- Well.

Still in disagreement. That is,
the last vote could be decisive.

Uh, well?

And, uh...

- Thailand?
- Whoo! What?

- It's exciting, huh?
- Yeah, it's...

Thailand, it's expensive... or
far away. And isn't it rainy season?

It's the best time to travel
to Thailand. And the cheapest.

See the price of this hotel.
Well, it's just a suggestion.

But it's in a great location.
Yeah, I actually booked it.

Mommy's little tour guide.

- You're a fucking shit, you are!
- Sune!

Tell me, have you talked?

Well... I'm going out.
and check on the hedgehog.

Hi, Jessica. It's me. It's me.
I'm going on vacation here.

- but as soon as I get home,
you and I are gonna get together.

And that's the way it's gonna be. Trunte.

Or you can just call,
when you get this message. Bye.

Hey, I got good news!
We're going to Thailand!

- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

It's all that cold cabbage.

You're all warm. Your heart.

We gotta get you into that new body!

Mommy! Mommy! Were you finished
with my ninja doll?

Yes, I finished! I hope you like it.
There were some details...

It's perfect, Mom. Thank you, Mom.

- T.N., I have your body.
- Just put it down.

- You mean just here?
- And then hurry out!

- Well...
- Now!

Oh, my God. There's
thunder in the air, huh?

- Well, do you like it?
- Oh, well...

Doesn't it just look like the old one?
to a dot?

I look like shit!
Such a cock-bitch pattern!

- That's all my mother had.
- You don't have fabric like that.

Unless you're building bulletin boards
for Santa Claus. I'm scratching.

On the other hand, you are 100% organic.
And now you can move freely.

No, I can't. People will think,
I'm a girl. Checkered chick ninja.

Doesn't it matter?
It's what's on the inside.

What's on the inside? I weigh
the same as Sune. Is it rice?

I think it's yellow peas.
There's nothing better.

I'm so heavy in the ass.
And I don't even have a sword.

You've got an apprentice. I have...
arranged for us to go to Thailand.

So couldn't we just try
to focus on the mission?

Oh, for God's sake. You're right, apprentice.
The mission above all.

Over land and city
To the ends of the earth

Show style
On new and strange ground

Ready for adventure
Get to know yourself

put on that smile
put your stamp down

Now we're on our way
So come if you're coming

Pack your gear
♪ 'Cause we're leaving ♪

♪ Forget your guilt and shame ♪
♪ We're gonna get it on ♪

♪ We're on our way ♪
# We'll never look back

Well, well, well. I'll say, huh?
What do you say, Fnuggi?

I say it's a long way from Spain.
Dibs on the window seat!

We must have turned off the air conditioning.
It's going right into my sinuses.

Well, there's the notepad.
And a shoe horn.

It's quite a hotel,
you found. And at that price.

And what a setting.

- What's that cement block?
- The great Kah Si Ath prison.

Why the hell did you choose..,
to live right next to a prison?

They have great breakfast. It's supposed to be
I wouldn't be surprised if they had churros.

- And at that price.
- It's cheaper outside the city.

And it's a business hotel, so it's
easier to deduct on your taxes.

Well, Mother's little accountant.
Come on, Jørn, we'll sleep in here.

Connecting doors. Luxury.

- What's up?
- We're in Thailand.

- Already? What time is it?
- Quarter to 12. Boar's Frog will be released at 2.

- Okay, good. So we have four...
- Two hours and 15 minutes.

- We have to be there on time.
- And what do we do after that?

- Why are you talking to your teddy bear?
- Can't you just mind your own business?

How can that be?
is it so gay?

Just because it has hearts on it?

Both that and a little of that,
that it's just so gay.

- So what if it is gay?
- You keep it in your own bed.

- You don't think it has taste?
- Yes, it has great taste. In women's clothes.

So, what does the squad say?
Who wants to go knock over Thailand?

Hello, family. Welcome.
You wanna buy?

- Can't we rent scooters, Dad?
- What? No, it's too dangerous.

- A drone! Can't I have this?
- Isn't it very expensive, Fnuggi?

No meat. I'm a vegetarian.

- This one, please.
- Thank you.

- Oh, my God, Jørn! Look, fish therapy!
- What?

You should try it.
It should be so healthy.

- Shouldn't we do it? My treat.
- Okay.

Hello. Can we try the fish?

You have to take three quarters,
if you want this to work.

- Yes, three quarters.
- Should we wait for that?

- I'm really hungry.
- Then you buy that drone.

It could be your holiday present.
It's something we usually drive.

- It's not that much fun, is it?
- It's the fish! Oh, it tickles!

Don't you just think,
it tickles, Jørn?

Well... Hm... No...

- Can I walk around alone?
- Alone? Oh, you know...

Sirene, Cinderella is getting big.
He needs to find himself.

All right, then.
Mommy's little lonely wanderer.

- Why does Cinderella have to walk alone?
- You can walk around too.

I don't like walking around alone.
Ad, a cat! I hate cats.

- Why don't you walk together?
- No! Or...

I need
to find myself. Alone.

Find yourself?
You're standing right there.

Hm.

We made it.
He hasn't come out yet.

Case in point: the controversial
toy manufacturer Phillip Eberfrø -

- will today be released on bail
from Kah Si Ath prison...

- What time is it?
- Five minutes to. I've got something.

- For me? What is it? What is it?
- Something you've been missing.

- So you're mission ready.
- Is that a sword?

But hey, nothing
with killing and blood and stuff.

- No, no, no, no, no. What kind of sword is it?
- It's from a video game.

So you don't know which one's in.
I bought the last one.

The sword isn't just a weapon.
It's the ninja's very identity!

And now it seems
something happening in the back.

This is it!

Mr. Boar Frog?

- Boar Frog!
- Take me!

- Take a look over here!
- Look and listen.

- Boar Frog!
- Hello!

- Bye-bye. Hello, hello.
- Can I ask you a question?

- How does it feel to be released?
- It's a big day for me.

And for the rule of law.

Excuse me, Phillip.
conditions in Thai prisons?

Are you used to the hotels in Thailand?
I don't think there's much difference.

But it's a lot easier to get
a knife in the stomach than a cold coke.

- So what's next?
- Now I need a cold coke.

How does it feel to hit
a little boy with a bamboo cane?

- It wasn't... I didn't...
- I don't really understand...

Now you're innocent,
until proven otherwise.

And then I think we'll say thank you for now.
Come on, Phillip.

- Mr. Boar Frog!
- I said thank you for today.

- Did you kill anyone?
- We need an answer!

- You're not letting him out of your sight!
- Excuse me, sir?

Follow that car!

- Welcome, sir. Would you like a table?
- Thank you, sir. The usual.

- Just a minute.
- She's cute, huh?

Then you should see her little sister.
That's very fucking good...

- Hello. Glug, glug?
- A Sprite, please.

- Sprite? Okay. How cute.
- What did she say?

- She said you looked cool.
- I'm gonna sneak closer.

- Okay. Okay. Okay. Be careful. Be careful.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm listening, you're watching.

- There you go.
- You still want a Coke?

No way. I'm thinking,
we should have champagne.

Something to celebrate.
Here's to freedom.

Yeah, cheers.

- Hey, is he looking at us?
- Who's looking at us? That guy?

Hello? Yeah, uh...

- Phillip, it's just a kid.
- Yes.

You're right.
I guess I'm just a little paranoid.

- Sprite for you.
- Very funny.

- Hello?
- Hi. Have you come to Thailand?

I didn't mean to interrupt.
How are you doing with everything?

I'm fine.
But I can't talk now.

Do you have the list of the children's names?

It's at the club.
It wasn't easy to get.

- Maybe you talked to Jessica?
- Uh, no. Why?

She's got her tongue down her throat.
on that plastic rocker.

What are you talking about?

- I'm thinking 20,000 euros for the list.
- All right, then.

- And you'll take care of the kids yourself?
- I got no problem with that.

You've seen the pictures, right?

- What pictures?
- You better check them out.

If the police find those kids before you do,
you can kiss your freedom goodbye.

- I'm well aware of that.
- As long as we're on the same page.

What the fuck?

- What the hell is she doing?
- Hey! Human!

That's what girls do, Cinderella.
They can't resist a bad boy.

Are you there?

Aske?

Hello?

Let's meet at the club.
You need to look at some ladies.

Right now I'm only interested in
getting my hands on those kids.

Uh, that came out wrong.
Shall we say 10:00?

- Talk to me.
- Shit!

- You can make it to the bank.
- Yeah. Cheers.

You're finished, baby killer!

What? What? What? No, thank you. Go away.

- Are you there?
- I gotta run.

Thank you.

It suddenly got so hot.
I think I'll go home.

Okay. I have to get up and train anyway.
I'll see you later. Don't forget the money.

Shit, he's leaving.

- Tuk-tuk, please.
- Go get him!

- Are you leaving now? That'll be 50 baht.
- Excuse me, one moment.

Oh no! Oh, shit!

- The lawyer!
- Let's go.

- Fuck.
- What the fuck were you doing?

- The mission above all.
- It was Jessica...

- Ow! You're scratching.
- On the other hand, I am 100% organic.

- Did you hear anything?
- The lawyer's got the list with the kids.

Can we get our hands on that list and give it to the
and give it to the cops, we're done.

- Where is it?
- It's at the club.

- What club?
- Yes, I didn't get a chance to hear that.

- Fuck. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What are we gonna do?
- Tell me, are you asking me?

We can sit here and wait,
for a clue to fall from the sky.

- Did you say "the club"?
- Yes, I said the club.

"Lucky Fucky Club."

- Is this where we're eating?
- Yes, it is. A little further down.

- I can't believe you're taking us to dinner.
- Yeah, you surprised me.

Oh, well,
you've given us a holiday.

- Well, of course I have.
- I feel like giving a little back.

- I don't like you paying.
- But I'd like to.

Aske is exploring his role as a man.
It's important we don't get in the way.

- Mommy's little big man-boy.
- This is a festive street.

Hi, it's Jessica.
...answering machine.

I'm in the middle of something important,
so leave a message.

Hey, it's me. Can you call me back?
I'd like to talk to you. Bye, then.

- Get off the phone!
- What's she thinking?

What are you thinking? Are you okay with..,
with your lady making out with that cream egg?

It was on the cheek. It could be,
it was her cousin.

Then that's what you're thinking. Well, then...
you can concentrate on the mission.

Hello, family.
You look like George Michael.

Oh, I don't know about that.
Must be the hat.

- Would you like a family photo?
- Oh, my God, they're men.

That's funny, Sune.
Come on, let's take a picture with them.

- Say orange.
- Do you have something for me?

We're going up here.

- How did you find this place?
- Online. It gets good reviews.

- It looks really authentic.
- It's total garbage.

- Can we go on the Mac?
- Play on your iPad.

Hello, family.
Can I get you something to drink?

- Shouldn't we start with a drink?
- I can just drink water.

- Have a drink. That's my round.
- Really? Mommy's little rascal.

- I'll have three Sprites.
- Then I'll have one of those Sexy Bitch.

Then I'd like to ask
this Flaming Boytoy.

- I think they're gonna light it on fire.
- Uh, Coke, please.

- I'll start by finding a bathroom.
- Shouldn't we order food first?

- It's kind of urgent. Order for me.
- Do you have a racing stomach?

- I don't feel so good.
- Couldn't you take this?

And then put a cross next to it
texture that comes closest?

I made a profile for each of you.
You'll have your own login.

- once I've sorted out the last
bugs in the family sharing feature.

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Ah!

Well, um...

I'm a guy who fires it off
on the prowl with the rake today.

Don't know what I want more
But I'm down with fur or gag

- No kids in here.
- My dad's in there.

- I said no kids in here.
- Yeah, but my dad's...

Fuck off.

- Nice work, bad boy.
- What do you want me to do?

We gotta find another way in.
There's a window.

I'll jump up and see,
see if there's a way into the club.

I think it's the lawyer's office.
Hurry up!

Up there? Well, it's pretty far.
What if we get caught?

The mission first. Do you want to be
ninja, or don't you want to be ninja?

Hm.

You don't have to be
make it harder than it is.

He must have saved the list here
somewhere. Come on, we gotta find it.

Hm.

- Kill that one!
- Hey, it's Jessica. Hello?

- Hey, Aske, it's Jessica.
- Yes? Hi.

I'm calling because
to hear it from myself.

I think you're really sweet. I'm...
probably more of a different type.

- Okay. You mean like the bad boy type?
- Well, yeah.

I would have told you.
the other day, but...

Yeah, but you didn't.

Oh, come on,
the timing was just a little off.

- Seriously? Yeah.
- Ash...

I gotta run.

- What are you doing, man?
- Someone's coming.

...if you want to keep those fingers,
you have to pay.

You want a drink?
Just sit down.

I prefer to stand.
I sat down all the time in prison.

- You have to stay in your place.
- It's not like in Denmark.

- There was the list.
- That's good.

- And here's the money.
- Yes, thank you.

- This is the only copy of the list?
- It is, yes.

I can't guarantee it,
the DA won't track down the kids.

- Then I'll have to go first.
- That was kind of my point.

They're scattered all over Thailand.
The top one is closest to Bangkok.

- So start there.
- With this guy? Honey Bee Tessanie?

Yes, it's a girl.

There's no address. Just "Koh
Ho Ann" and then "restaurant" in parentheses.

She was adopted by a family
that runs a restaurant on Koh Ho Ann.

- It's a small island near Bangkok.
- I've heard of it.

I know a Dane who owns
a dive centre on Koh Ho Ann.

He still doesn't answer the phone.
He's been away for a long time.

Things take time.
Try calling mine.

- A Dane?
- He usually interprets for me.

- I could pay him a visit.
- It's stupid to involve more than one.

He's somehow
already involved.

What? Tell me...

What's going on?

- Who the fuck are you?
- Hello.

- Have you seen my football?
- What? Are you Danish?

- No. Or yes. Or what?
- What are you doing here?

I don't like it. Don't you
recognize him? He was at the café.

You're right.
Tell me, are you following us?

- Answer me when I'm talking to you!
- I can't.

You're right, Phillip.
Get out of here. Watch the list.

- You and I are gonna have a little talk.
- What are you doing, man?

I could ask you that.
What are you doing here?

That list is mine.

Well, my dad's inside the club,
and then I dropped my ball.

- and it bounced in here...

You're full of shit. There's only one
guest at the club, and he's close to 70.

- It could be my father.
- It's good with you.

Say orange!

- You got something for me?
- You got something for me?

- You got something for me?
- Oh!

Maybe you remember better without ears.

It might sting too much.

Then this is better.

Now you're gonna answer my questions.
If you're lying... What did you hear?

Fuck!

I didn't hear anything!
I swear to God!

Too bad, kid. Let's hope so,
some of them are baby teeth.

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Is this a toilet?
- Get out! Get out! This is private.

Oh, my God. Good word again.

- Uncle Stewart!
- The ashtray? What are you doing here?

- The boy committed a burglary.
- That's quite a piece of jewelry.

- Is this the whole family or what?
- Piss off, old man.

You know what's annoying about
a quadruple gold ring like that?

- It's so tight around the balls!
- Ah!

Watch it, watch it.
I almost spilled my beer.

This might not be
a place for a kid your age?

So, hole in one, skipper.

Well, cheers! Whoa, whoa. What are you doin
in a place like this, too?

I was... I had...

I'm in. I was also
early with the rake.

I remember one time in the pillow room...
No, wait. That was when I was a temp.

- You won't tell my mother?
- Not a word.

Where's the family?

- Where is he?
- Isn't he going to take it? Oh, there he is.

Oh, Cinderella. Where have you been?

Out on the terrace,
is there room on the mattress?

- Uncle Stewart!
- Yessirena!

Oh, you smell like booze.
Oh, yummy! Look who I found.

- What?
- Dad?

Yeah, the toilet was broken,
so I had to run over to the...

- That's where we bumped into each other.
- What on earth are you doing here?

I'm working. I'm working right now.
it's a federal holiday. Did you order?

- Won't you join us, Uncle?
- There's not much room.

I've just eaten, but you can
but you can always squeeze in another bite.

Isn't that right, Rune? Boat-boat.
And what about you, Tonny?

You've got a hat that wants something.
Yes, I wonder what it wants.

You've chosen the best restaurant
in all of Soi Cowboy.

- You ready to order?
- Yes, a sai bai gai.

And then a biki lau with
extra chockbaii without the cilantro.

- Okay. Ma'am?
- Can't you order for me?

- Something vegan.
- I'll let you know what you want.

Dai mai tai sai lai bai gai gai
with extra samsai. Yes?

- Flai kai mai?
- No. Just with flai lai.

- And five beers, please.
- You're the only one who drinks beer.

I think so.
You order your own drinks.

Then I'll have
one of those Cucumber Cock blocks.

I'm gonna try that.
this Purple Rim-Job.

Ad...

- This vegetable is really delicious.
- It's good.

- What's it called?
- That one? It's called porkuplant.

You were about to tell me that.
So you're just gonna stand there and stare into the barrel?

Yeah, that's part of it.
Then you check the consistency...

And Jørn is so good, isn't he, Jørn?
He sold it to the gym.

Yes, I just need to get
a proper name.

- What did you call it?
- Jørn's app on digestion and bowel movements.

No, it could be more eloquent.
How about "Control the bag"?

- Or "Shit with a can"?
- Here's the bill.

- It was actually for you, Aske.
- Are you going to let the kid pay, Jürgen?

Aske invited me today.

- He wanted to go to this place.
- Oh, he did, did he?

Janus, should we two grown-up alpha males
in the herd share this?

- Well, I think that...
- You have your pride. I'm a guest.

You can take it yourself, Jakob.
Here's to Jakob!

- Cheers, Jakob!
- Jørn. Cheers, cheers.

There's only one question left,
that presses on.

What are we doing tomorrow?
And what time should I pick you up?

I refuse to spend my vacation
with that man.

Of course, darling. But it's...
sweet that he wants to show us around.

- I'm calling a family crisis meeting.
- That minibar is so mini!

- What are you thinking? You left me behind.
- I had to go by the list.

We're on a mission!
You'll forget when the phone rings.

You forget everything else.
You let me down!

- Oh, relax. Iodine on. We split up.
- You're kidding.

- Stewart is the best tour guide ever.
- Ha! Then I prefer to get lost.

Sune, can you get Aske?
We have to figure out what we're doing.

- You're a bad friend.
- You're a bad ninja.

A klutz.
I should have chopped the idiot down.

- Now here we are with no list...
- You didn't get the list?

- No, I didn't get it, because I lost it when...
- Okay, so you failed your mission?

- But then you remember the name of the island?
- That's what an apprentice is for!

You don't know how to do that?
Do you have the name of that island?

And what if I don't? Then you have
failed those children like those in the hut.

- Plus me, who you've also failed.
- It was below the belt.

- Who are you talking to, Laske?
- My... teddy bear.

- Oh, the girl bear?
- Yes, exactly.

- Yeah, it looks a bit fucking girly.
- What? Doesn't it?

- There's a crisis meeting with the adults.
- Okay.

Don't you want to bring it in?

It's okay. It'll be fine.
fine without me. Will you come?

Hm.

We're gonna hang on to him.
the whole holiday.

If you don't want to be with him,
I'll let you know.

- You're not gonna mention me, are you?
- No.

You know Uncle Stewart. He stays
hurt if we don't want to see him.

- Then he must be hurt.
- Yes, but he can get very angry.

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What do we do? What do we do?
- Oops.

I have an idea. I've found
this wonderful place.

A small island, not far from Bangkok.
It's called Koh Ho Ann.

- We were going to have churros.
- We won't make it.

There's a small ferry from Bangkok
to Koh Ho Ann once a day.

- So we have to leave tomorrow at 8.
- Then we're in a hurry.

- Have you seen my lenses?
- You don't wear lenses.

I've got them!

- Then we'll be on our way, Uncle.
- My underpants, Dad!

We'll catch a ferry in the morning.

- Okay, bye-bye.
- Was he very angry?

No, he wasn't. He could understand,
that we wanted to move on.

Dibs on the window seat!

Ha ha. That's it!

- There are no more tickets.
- All tickets have been collected.

- I've reserved four.
- Who could have taken them?

Good morning on the pier,
are there crabs in your dress?

- Uncle Stewart! What are you doing here?
- You forgot to order for me.

Well, it worked out.
They had one left. Shall we?

Nice barge. Just like you, Sirene.
It suits you with a hangover.

I was so fucking touched when you called
and told me we were leaving.

That's a nice pair of shoes.

Piss good with the hat.
Real jydeski.

They add that last desperate touch
of a midlife crisis real estate agent.

No, no, no, no, no, no. What? Well, I've tried that.

I thought you booked
for me. There are no more tickets.

I can't go.
until tomorrow morning.

Yes!

- Let's weigh anchor!
- Dad, can we rent scooters on the island?

- Oh, I feel a little sick.
- I want turtle meat.

- Ad, Sirene!
- Yes, there was a headwind, Jan.

- Would you like something to drink?
- Yessir, five beers, please.

I'll try.
one of those Long Island Iced Teas.

- Make it a double.
- It's tea, right?

- Just one more cabin for you.
- You guys are so cute.

- I can lie in the crack between you.
- That's all I needed.

- We can talk about that, Sirene.
- I've been to the Eiffel Tower too.

Hello, ladies.
You want to rub my backside?

I'll rub your front.

Oh, right. Delicate crickets.

- King Cobra Farm?
- King Cobra Park?

- Very good.
- Yes, please.

This place is great, huh?
How's your cabin?

- Super.
- Look, a zoo with snakes.

- Exciting, huh?
- A farm? Okay.

- Aren't you going to the beach?
- We are at the beach.

- Outdoors.
- Outside is garbage.

- Jørn bought cinnamon potions...
- Dibs for the first one!

- Are you going in the water?
- No, I want to look around.

Oh, Mommy's little adventurer.

- Well, enjoy your sightseeing.
- I'm going to find Honey Bee.

- Good luck with that.
- There's only 12 restaurants on the island.

- I'll find her.
- You got it. I'm gonna stay here.

I don't want you here.
You're just leaving me. Again.

And then when you fail again, I'll chop
when he comes tomorrow.

- Fine! Fine! Fine!
- All right! All right!

It's important not to dehydrate.

Yeah, I'm focused on that.
Cheers, Hjalmar.

- Are you leaving now?
- I just have to buy a soda.

I'll come too.
I need some chips.

- I'll get some for you, okay?
- Tell me, don't you want me?

No, not really, okay?

Why don't you leave me alone instead?
instead of following me around?

I don't know what you're doing.
But I'll figure it out.

Excuse me?
I'm looking for a girl. Honey Bee?

- No. No, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Do you know Honey Bee?

Street up street down
tired toes facial sweat

♪ Turning over every stone ♪
And think I'm about to suffer

No trace, no word
# I'm walking and I'm staring #

The girl I'm looking for
♪ I'm as if sunk in the ground ♪

♪ Back straight, head up ♪
Forward march, no stop

Into the fray up the steam
down the ramp full gallop

One-man army, that's what it is
Let down by my best friend

♪ Heaves around the town ♪
Honey Bee where the hell did you go?

Hm.

- Can I help you?
- I'm looking for a girl. Honey Bee.

- Honey?
- Yes. Honey Bee.

Just a minute.

- Like this?
- Oh!

I don't get it. That was
the last restaurant on the island.

- Oh shit!
- Ow!

Oh no! I'm so sorry.
Are you okay?

- Ow, damn...
- What? Are you Danish?

- I couldn't stop.
- It was me who... Was it yours?

Yes, please. I own the place.
dive center here on the island.

- Jeppe.
- Aske.

- Dive center... Do you speak Thai?
- Yes, fluently.

- So you're an interpreter too?
- Uh, yes...

I think you and I need to have a talk.
About a mutual acquaintance we have.

- Who's that?
- Phillip Eberfrø.

Ah...

I would have said something, but I was
afraid of what he might do.

- And then he went to jail.
- But now he's free.

- And now he's coming after the kids.
- That's terrible.

- And he's coming tomorrow?
- His first victim is Honey Bee.

- She lives here on the island.
- Where?

She lives with a family that has a
restaurant. I've been everywhere.

Listen, Aske.
That man must be stopped.

- I'll do everything I can.
- Could you find Honey Bee?

I know everybody.
Give me a little time to make some calls.

I'll meet you here at 6:30.

I found the interpreter!
From the children's factory. Jeppe.

He ran into me on his scooter.
He'll help us.

- With finding Honey Bee.
- So you've told?

Calm down. He also wants
the shovel under the Boar's Seed.

- We're supposed to meet him at...
- What time?

- Tell me, did you tamper with the drone?
- Me? No, you didn't.

Why is it glowing red?

- We're blown.
- Multiply that by ten, bitches!

- I'm... I'm...
- Hello. How does it do that?

- Sune...
- Magic or demonic powers?

I think you've had too little water.

Or maybe I'm just...
show the footage to the adults.

The footage of you and your little one,
...feminine, heart-obsessed...

- princess-swinging,
perfume-smelling teddy bear...

Ow! Ow! Ow!

- Stop!
- I'm gonna kill him!

Hurry up and apologize!

- Now, goddamn it!
- Oh, yeah. Slap off. I'm sorry.

- Next time you're finished!
- Then you stop. Now we're talking nicely.

- It can talk and move!
- I'm not a "it"!

- What do you say? He or she?
- Just try saying "she".

- T.N. is a warrior...
- What does it stand for?

Don't say it.
He's too stupid to hear it.

"Bitch"?

We're in the middle of a mission. We're on a mission.
life or death for a lot of kids.

- It's important you don't tell.
- I understand.

- I won't tell anyone.
- I'm not gonna tell anybody.

- That is, if you'll take me.
- I'll take you.

We're not bringing that nerd.
We don't know if we can trust him.

- Plus, he's piss ugly.
- I don't have hearts on my clothes.

- No, you have gravy.
- You're done keeping me out.

I think it would be great...
Could you stay here and keep watch?

It's important to keep watch,
while I talk to Jeppe.

- If you dare sit out here alone?
- I'd be happy to.

Ad! A cat!

- Do you have the nerve for this?
- Does T.N. stand for "pretty cute"?

You look a little like a baby kangaroo,
sitting there in that bag.

- Hey, hey, hey! Watch the cat!
- Ah!

- I'm going in. Sune, you give the signal.
- Aye, aye, sir.

- Hi, Jeppe.
- What? Hi, Aske. Come in.

- Well, did you get any?
- You bet I did.

- Hello. I took an earlier boat.
- Yes, my boat.

You may not think I saw you at
at the ferry? I'll need your phone.

Good work, Jeppe.
And did you have the address of the girl?

- You? So it was all a setup?
- I'm sorry. I owe money.

You're not gonna hurt him?

You're not interested in,
in me going to prison for the rest of my life?

- They're gonna kill me!
- Shut the fuck up!

- You are so done, bitch face!
- Fuck!

What?

- No!
- What?

- You think that's gonna stop me?
- What the fuck?

What's going on, man?

- T.N.! No!
- Man...

Thank you, puppet show.

Carsten, shouldn't we go out
and have dinner with the Honey Bee?

Yeah, I'll just...
a cup of coffee for the kid.

- What are you doing, dickhead?
- It can jump in the air.

- What's with the weird teddy bear?
- Looks like the factory one.

- Only in an incredibly girly version.
- Fuck you, you horse cock eater!

- Hey! Let's go, let's go, let's go. Into the depot.
- Let go!

You're the one moving your mouth.
Points for controlling it without hands.

That's not cool. I don't want to be
to leave the boy here.

Neither are you. All witnesses
must be removed. Didn't I tell you?

You two have a good time?
We're gonna find Honey Bee.

- Don't forget to cover your ears.
- No! No! No! No! Wait, wait, wait, wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait!

Somebody help! Somebody help! Sune!

Oh! Mm.

Mm!

- Help! Help!
- Sune!

- It's hopeless.
- No, we must not lose heart.

The criminals want to kill Honey Bee,
and we're trapped in a dive shop.

- Get us out of here!
- What could I do?

Now's the time to show,
what you're made of, apprentice.

I'm no good at anything. You said
You said it yourself. I'm just a kid.

- Did I say that?
- You were right.

The hell I wasn't.
That's the stupidest thing I've ever said.

- Look how far we've come.
- I wouldn't have got anywhere without you.

I can't do this alone.
I'm not a ninja.

And I'm not a bad boy.
I'm just... Ash.

- You're right.
- What?

You're just Cinderella.
But do you want me to tell you something?

You don't have to be anything else.
You're exactly what you're supposed to be.

And you may not even
see that. But I can see it.

You arranged the trip to Thailand,
and you remembered the name of...

- Koh Ho Ann?
- The island, yes. And you got us here.

Yes, and I told Jeppe,
and I got us locked in here.

I lost ten kids on my watch.
I don't know if I want to lose another one.

Then don't bother.
shooting yourself?

And then get us out of here.

- I got an idea.
- There you go.

But I'm gonna
to tear your eyes out a little bit.

I'm serious, man. You're walking away. Mm.

Three, two, one.

You put them back on.
That's bullshit.

- If they get lost, I'll chop you.
- Good luck with that.

- I'm gonna give you a little prick.
- Uh!

- You ready?
- I gotta pee. Fire, damn it!

Sune? Sune?

- Hello?
- What? Who's calling?

Here, damn it. Sune! Look now!

Make noise!

Aske is locked in the store.

Hurry up. Turn off the stove.

- Where's Aske?
- I'm here! I'm here! Sune! Well done.

- Let's go after them.
- We have to get Jeppe out.

He can fucking die here.
We have to get him out on the street.

He sold you to those psychos.
The mission above all!

It's not just about the mission.
We have to be able to look ourselves in the eye.

Take hold, Sune. One, two, three!

- Didn't you turn off the stove?
- Yes, I did. I pulled the plug out of the wall.

It was the wrong plug! Get out!

- There they are!
- Where? Where?

- Right there!
- I'm temporarily visually impaired.

- They just drove past us in a car.
- Then we'll never catch them.

- We have no idea where they're going.
- That... restaurant...

Cobra Farm?

"The restaurant opens tonight."
That's why it's not on the map.

- Hurry up...
- Scooter! Yes!

It's going pretty fast, huh?

- Is it still just straight ahead?
- Yeah, just follow the road.

If it's straight,
let me know before you turn.

Look out! Look out! Oh, shit!

- You'll have to take my chocolate lentils.
- You always think about stuffing yourself?

- That was for filling you up.
- You're a genius!

- What? Well...
- Of course!

We're looking for King Cobra Farm?
In English, please.

- Is this it?
- No, up ahead on the left.

- But, uh... Carsten! Hurry up!
- What?

- Shit! He's seen us!
- Hurry up and get me patched up.

- That's it. That's it.
- That's better. You got my eyes?

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Sune, turn at the sign!

Damn it.

- They're still in.
- What do we do?

- We have to shake them off.
- How?

- There! Up the jungle path.
- Okay, hold on.

- Damn!
- The boys will be fine. After the girl!

Ah!

- Are those eyes coming?
- Yes. Two seconds.

- There, I can see.
- Fuck! Sorry!

Did you drop it?
Then you be careful with the other one.

- Hurry up!
- Okay, that's good enough.

Hey, it's important
not to dehydrate.

Yes! Well done!

Watch out!

- They're shooting.
- Good eye, Fnuggi.

- It must be in there.
- Here they come.

Go, go, go! Come on! Come on!

I said: "You better have
that laundry ready on Friday, Grandma."

Thank you.

- Up the stairs!
- Okay.

What?

- What's going on, man?
- Uh...

Ha! He can't make her
anything here with all these witnesses.

Shit!

I got her, Phillip. Get the car.

- Forward, apprentice!
- Sune, after Eberfrö. Hurry!

- Phillip, here.
- Great.

- Hey!
- I got her.

Ow, damn it!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Shoot, Carsten.

Olé, motherfucker!

Shit kids!

Fuck! Sune!

I'll help him. You have to save the girl.
We're not leaving anyone behind, are we?

You little... You're finished.

And you're ugly.

Hm.

Ah!

Honey Bee?

Honey Bee?

He's gone. He's gone.

It's okay.
I've come to help you.

Huh?

Fooled again.

- That's it! That's it!
- I got this. Go, go, go!

Aye, aye, skipper.

Fuck.

Aske! Aske, you in there?

- We're here, Sune!
- Open up! Open up!

Die, teddy bear.

- What?
- What?

I... I... am... not...
any... teddy bear!

Ah, shit.

You're not getting away with this.
You left your mark.

There's plenty of gas cans.
I'll burn the whole barn down.

- Don't you touch her!
- We'll start with you.

What?

Take that, motherfucker.

Way to go, Cinderella! Watch out! Watch out!

Yes! Get the gun, Aske!

- Stop!
- What?

You stop! I'll shoot!

Oh, no! Oh, no!

Ouch! Ouch!

Way to go, bro!

- What about the lawyer?
- We took care of him.

Or you did. I figured it out,
what T.N. stands for.

- Top Nice.
- You saved our ass with that drone.

Oh, yeah. And I got it all on camera.
and livestreamed it to the web.

Now anyone and everyone can see
of an idiot Boar Frog he is. Or was.

What?

Hello? Yes, hello. What?

Yes, he's here. Yeah, hold on.

It's for you, Cinderella.
It's Jessica.

- Hello?
- Hi, Aske. It's Jessica.

I saw where you kicked the gun
out of that creep's hand.

- It was like you were someone else.
- Okay. And then you called?

- Because I seemed like someone else?
- No, but you're a total bad boy.

No, I'm not a bad boy. I'm just Cinderella.

Honey Bee.

- I gotta run.
- Are you okay?

Yeah, me? Yeah, I'm all right.

But come on,
the timing's just a little off.

- What?
- Oh, what!

- Hashtag the one that got away.
- Hashtag the train has left.

- Hashtag gingerbread!
- Hashtag Gone with the Wind.

Hashtag Sliding Doors.

- Uh! Ow!
- Luxury.

- Thanks, guys.
- Churros! Total happy ending.

That's fucking great.
You guys get me a free dinner.

- They saved a little girl, Uncle.
- Yeah, that's all right.

- Mommy's little superhero.
- Yeah, and Daddy's little...

- Kongecobra?
- No meat for me. I'm vegan.

It's neither fish nor fowl.
It's gotta count as a vegetable.

- No, Uncle. Meat is meat.
- As they say at the Damhus restaurant.

Are you typing in some poop?

I'm developing
...a recognition software...

- that can help you
to categorize. Kind of like Vivino.

You take a picture of the calorie,
and your phone recognizes...

- Oh, James!
- I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

You're supposed to be rotting.
with Shazam.

Hello, hello, hello. Are you there?

T.N.? T.N.?

- T.N. What?
- I had to make sure you were here.

Now that the mission's over. You take
without saying goodbye?

No, I'm not leaving. Of course you're not.

- All right, then. I have something for you.
- For me?

Yeah, for you. I found a tailor
downtown.

- You bought me a tailor?
- Idiot.

- Wow! A new body!
- Yeah, I ordered it yesterday.

- I didn't know that...
- Is that real cashmere?

It's thai silk. I don't have
I couldn't find another sword.

This is actually
not so bad.

- It's a pair of shiny buttons.
- The color might be more you.

But of course...
a little too late now.

Oh, man.
Our mission is over, so...

But I was thinking that maybe
stick around for a while.

Or not here. Well, you know...
At home. Or if we...

Tell me, you're asking,
if we should move in together?

Of course you should stay,
you chequered fool.

Just in case.
You never know what might happen.

- No, that's just it.
- We ninjas gotta stick together.

- You said "we."
- Yes, I did.

- What are you doing?
- Aren't you gonna try it?

I've been given time off,
so we can go back to Denmark together.

A double gin & tonic, please.

What's going on?

- Cinderella has a stomach bug.
- I'll say.

Get ready with the app, Jørn.
Or what's your name?

- How is it?
- Just right. Now they can come on.

Who?

Anybody.

This party's going to die.
Ash, hit that karaoke machine.

All right, here we go.

Papa-san? What's his name? Tanowat?
That's a nice girl you got there.

Pretty girl.
Worth a lot of money in Denmark.

You're kidding. Now you get
some syrup here. Listen carefully.

I like to cook
When there are guests in my home

I'm no Gordon Ramsay
But a chop'steak is easy

You can spice it up with fried eggs
And a few pearl onions from the freezer

But whatever you try
# It's still just an ordinary meal

If the dish needs fixing
♪ It's got to have the right twist ♪

You gotta give it a little thai
That's the secret

Then you get chili and lemongrass
And monkey hearts in panang

And insects deep-fried in batter

♪ Durian with galangal ♪
and dill in the pendant

Your taste buds will come to
to feast

Just give it a little thai
You can use it in other situations.

The other day I was watching boxing
and it was on TV3

It was old men in swimming trunks
and they were tired, you could see

One of them packed a punch
the other one he was almost lame

the last 8 rounds
They were cheek dancing and hugging

A show like this has got to have a little go
And you didn't get it from me

It needs a little thai
Are you getting there?

You'll get toothpaste for your bum
You'll get elbow bouillabaisse

And a silk ribbon
♪ If your forehead is adorned ♪

You'll get a knee in your jaw
You'll get a shinbone in your face

You get hand sandwiches with swing
And legs with feathers

Just give it a little thai

You wanna see some dance moves?
Let me come up here sometime.

Sorry, Jørn! It can be cleaned.

Uncle Stewart? It's a very
stereotypical view of Thailand.

Here's another verse.

I often get a sour hip
From hanging out at the cafe

So I get a massage
At the Fald on Knee Alley

The therapist's name is Birtha
And she's a half-dry biscuit

There's not much fucking ramasjang
# Lying on Birtha's slab

But it can be fixed with a trick
And I'll give you a hint

It's got to be Thai
And it can't get too little of it.

You'll be kneaded below the belt
♪ By a girl who can take it ♪

♪ Every tension and myosis ♪
Loosens

And a happy ending it will be
Only for 800 baht

So if you just
right on and hard will ask me

I'll have to answer you, kid
There's only one way

and you get on chalk
If you don't have a journey

All in all
Go give it some Thai

Yessirenas!

It's good. Let go of me. Go away
with you, bitch. You're gonna get a bloody nose.

I'm not wearing a garland.
I have pollen allergies!

Danish lyrics: Louise Munk Alminde
Scandinavian Text Service