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1
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At today's joint party I talked about the Joker of cards.
2
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The clown that served the court seems to be a motif.
3
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He had to joke around with the king and make him laugh. That's all he did.
4
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That sounds nice. I want to joke around with the king too.
5
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His status was lower than a commoner but
6
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it seems like he could say whatever he wanted to the King.
7
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Those people exist. There's probably a guy somewhere that's like that.
8
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True, true. If it wasn't the Joker then I could properly give them a social rank.
9
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It throws things out of order.
10
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Or more like it's a card that shouldn't be pulled out.
11
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I think I'm getting pulled over...
12
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Ow! That's hot! It stings really bad
13
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The "crazy salt" will enhance the flavor more, don't you think?
14
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- That'll be good!
- Anything but the crazy salt! It's gonna really hurt!
15
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No! No! No!
16
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Tomioka-san. It must be tough to switch from day shift to night shift.
17
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Yes... no... l have experience doing it now.
18
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That's nice!
19
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Just keep on talking nice and quiet like that.
20
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No more crazy salt!
21
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Shut the hell up!
22
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I told you to be quiet, didn't I?
23
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I understand. I understand.
24
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We're collecting the money that he owes us.
25
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I think I get the picture.
26
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The girl next door might be listening to us. So Shimada-san told us to speak with low voices.
27
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That's the right answer, as one would expect.
28
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You met Shimada-san just now, right?
Look! Like this.
29
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You know a store around here that sells chainsaws, right?
30
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Right?
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Yes.
32
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Wait for him at the home center where you work and he's going to go over there to buy a chainsaw.
33
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The morning would the best time... Good work.
34
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Now then. It's time for the main question.
35
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Right now the old man's life is worth 2,882,680 yen.
36
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So, I'm insisting that someone who is able to buy him should come here.
37
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Weren't we supposed to be friends?
38
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Friends?
39
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M... May I be allowed to ask one question?
40
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Of course. Ask me anything.
41
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Umm...
42
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You said something about the old man's life or something like that...
43
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That's like... ummm...
44
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You're not going to really kill the old man, are you?
45
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We don't really want to do it though... right?
46
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If we didn't ask for 2 to 3 million yen then we wouldn't be a business.
47
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But then there's also the fact that Shimada-san wouldn't have a successful career.
48
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We'll cut off his head but we'll also cut off his precious "Switch" too.
49
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Umm... umm...
50
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I believe what you're saying is... ummm...
51
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can you... can you run it by me one more time?
52
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Umm... You're really... really... really...
53
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Really... really... really going to... kill him?
54
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Unless a miracle happens.
55
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Bro! Save me
56
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Shut the hell up you bastard!
57
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Who are the real-world Illuminati ?
Find out @ saveanilluminati.com
58
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Bro!
59
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Translated, subbed and timed by Rjgman56. Enjoy!
60
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61
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Tomioka-san!
62
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Something bad happened, right?
63
00:04:11,574 --> 00:04:13,832
Nothing happened.
64
00:04:13,857 --> 00:04:16,288
- They came by to eat some breakfast.
- But I heard shouting...
65
00:04:16,313 --> 00:04:22,122
Oh, that... Well, um... seems like they lost their cool a bit.
66
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Or more like... they were just arguing.
67
00:04:24,043 --> 00:04:25,857
But your hands and voice are shaking aren't they?
68
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Please don't say such rude things. Ummm... anyways... umm...
69
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I'm leaving now...
70
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Hey, hey. I can't see how this is gonna taste good.
71
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This is good for something after all.
72
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He's not going to come back!
73
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There's seaweed on my thigh...
74
00:05:03,899 --> 00:05:06,693
Tomioka-san. What is that?
75
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This is an envelope.
76
00:05:09,621 --> 00:05:12,874
No, I'm talking about what's inside.
77
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It's full of bills, isn't it? If this wasn't Japan all of that would be gone in 30 seconds.
78
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Are you insane?
79
00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:20,321
This is Japan though.
80
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But something that would make you believe it's not happened just a while ago, right?
81
00:05:26,575 --> 00:05:26,966
Yes.
82
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I'm not attacking you, I'm worried about you.
83
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Why's that?
84
00:05:34,729 --> 00:05:36,699
Why?
85
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Anyways! I'm worried about you! What is your plan now?
86
00:05:40,529 --> 00:05:42,514
Are you going to save that old man?
87
00:05:42,539 --> 00:05:45,116
Well... That's my intention.
88
00:05:45,141 --> 00:05:48,986
He has a debt of 2.8 million yen and stuff...
89
00:05:49,011 --> 00:05:52,060
Tomioka-san. You're not responsible for him, right?
90
00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:53,533
This is strange. I'm going to call the police.
91
00:05:53,558 --> 00:05:56,213
It's fine, it's fine, it's fine.
92
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I'm going to buy the old man back with this money.
93
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When I was walking I had a lot to think about.
94
00:06:08,051 --> 00:06:09,991
No way...
95
00:06:10,016 --> 00:06:13,183
You're doing all of this for the old man even though he isn't your friend...
96
00:06:16,837 --> 00:06:19,564
I've never had one so I wouldn't know but...
97
00:06:19,589 --> 00:06:25,183
I feel like it’s wrong to say we aren't friends.
98
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But... he's not that fresh though...
99
00:06:42,231 --> 00:06:48,481
I just got Shimada-san's permission to give you a 200,000 yen discount.
100
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Congratulations! You get 200,000 yen!
101
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Let's go!
102
00:07:18,279 --> 00:07:22,609
Bro! I'll serve you for the rest of my life!
103
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I'll do whatever you want!
104
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It's fine! I'm sleepy so I'm going home!
105
00:07:26,962 --> 00:07:29,725
Please wait!
106
00:07:29,725 --> 00:07:31,713
Please hit me!
107
00:07:31,738 --> 00:07:33,173
Why?
108
00:07:33,198 --> 00:07:39,004
I don't really know who sent you that strange letter.
109
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You can search for him on your own.
110
00:07:48,005 --> 00:07:51,171
It's fine. Here's some change left over from buying you.
111
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You're a former cook, aren't you? That will last you about a month.
112
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You can start working or get a place to live or whatever.
113
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I will spend my entire life repaying you for your kindness!
114
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- I bet my life on it!
- I'm sleepy.
115
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Your room is just an inch away.
116
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You can sleep on your fluffy futon.
117
00:08:28,643 --> 00:08:30,571
I can't move another inch.
118
00:08:34,333 --> 00:08:39,362
After that big transaction are you going to have enough money to pay your rent?
119
00:08:39,387 --> 00:08:42,898
A lot of stuff has happened recently.
120
00:08:42,899 --> 00:08:45,527
I'm extremely exhausted.
121
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There's that too...
122
00:08:48,064 --> 00:08:52,118
If I didn't do anything like always and just stayed burrowed underneath the dirt...
123
00:08:52,143 --> 00:08:56,223
I wonder if I came up from beneath the dirt because I was greedy?
124
00:08:59,899 --> 00:09:04,665
- You're really amazing.
- Because I saved the old man from his debt collectors?
125
00:09:04,690 --> 00:09:10,566
There's that but... you're able to show your weakness without being shy about it.
126
00:09:10,591 --> 00:09:15,289
- It's like boxing without putting up your guard.
- But... l choose to be underneath the dirt.
127
00:09:15,314 --> 00:09:18,997
I'll throw away my wish of wanting friends.
128
00:09:20,001 --> 00:09:22,926
Tomioka-san. Don't you want friends anymore?
129
00:09:22,951 --> 00:09:26,008
- I've already given up on it.
- Hold on one second!
130
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:28,972
Are women acceptable as well?
131
00:09:32,979 --> 00:09:33,701
Tomioka-san?
132
00:09:42,023 --> 00:09:42,898
He's asleep.
133
00:10:01,158 --> 00:10:05,066
He can't be that hurt if he isn't even waking up.
134
00:10:39,354 --> 00:10:43,102
They can't be helped. Every single one of them!
135
00:10:43,127 --> 00:10:49,713
They just line up for our tropical rain forest games. I wanna preach to them!
136
00:10:49,738 --> 00:10:51,817
This life that he gave me.
137
00:10:52,555 --> 00:10:54,826
When am I gonna really live it if not now?
138
00:11:15,467 --> 00:11:20,791
The first time my heart throbbed towards the opposite sex was when I saw the Joker card.
139
00:11:20,816 --> 00:11:23,127
And right now... In front of me is...
140
00:11:27,424 --> 00:11:33,012
He looks and is just like the joker card!
141
00:11:33,037 --> 00:11:36,854
This guy is soooo cool!
142
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:42,269
I knew from the moment I first saw him but...
143
00:11:42,294 --> 00:11:44,896
My eyes are dazzled by how cool he is!
144
00:11:46,171 --> 00:11:46,895
So cool!
145
00:11:48,286 --> 00:11:48,895
So cool!
146
00:11:50,532 --> 00:11:54,277
Hold on one second... Am I a pervert?
147
00:11:54,302 --> 00:11:57,146
No, I'm not!
148
00:11:57,168 --> 00:12:00,206
I can't just leave someone sleeping outside like that.
149
00:12:00,231 --> 00:12:05,098
So it isn't fully black and white like that, it's a greyzone!
150
00:12:05,123 --> 00:12:12,362
Tomioka-san always wakes up at 6:00! Just 8 more minutes until that wonderful moment happens!
151
00:12:12,387 --> 00:12:17,212
Just by coincidence... right in front of me...
152
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,856
Geez! I don't have time to wrestle with myself!
153
00:12:19,886 --> 00:12:22,895
Umm... Umm...
154
00:12:22,896 --> 00:12:24,628
How about I kiss him?
155
00:12:34,008 --> 00:12:38,643
A kiss is like a greeting in the west! Why can't I do this?
156
00:12:38,668 --> 00:12:43,854
It doesn't mean anything more than that... I think...
157
00:12:54,547 --> 00:12:56,031
Bro! Are you still there?
158
00:12:57,858 --> 00:13:01,072
Huh? Who are you? Are you a cat burglar?
159
00:13:01,097 --> 00:13:03,920
You're... you're wrong!
160
00:13:03,945 --> 00:13:10,164
I mean... Why did you come back here?
Don't cause any more trouble for Tomioka-san!
161
00:13:10,189 --> 00:13:12,306
What the hell? You don't even know what happened.
162
00:13:12,330 --> 00:13:14,954
I live next door, so I have a good idea of what happened.
163
00:13:15,248 --> 00:13:20,181
In that case, this conversation will be faster. I want to repay him.
164
00:13:20,206 --> 00:13:23,360
- That's why I came back.
- Repay him? How are you gonna repay him?
165
00:13:24,423 --> 00:13:28,719
That's why I thought about paying him back with my body.
166
00:13:28,744 --> 00:13:33,414
I think he might be gay or something.
167
00:13:33,439 --> 00:13:38,245
He is a single man but there is not a single porno mag around here.
168
00:13:38,270 --> 00:13:43,117
That's why I'm going to literally pitch in and help.
169
00:13:38,270 --> 00:13:43,117
{\an8}t/n: This phrase in Japanese can literally mean to strip and give your body warmth
170
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Tomioka-san...
171
00:14:44,783 --> 00:14:47,474
They have finally come inside my house...
172
00:14:47,499 --> 00:14:52,352
Furthermore... they even made a mess while eating!?
173
00:14:52,377 --> 00:14:54,938
Is this some kind of show of force!?
174
00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:57,305
Ow! Damn it!
175
00:14:59,221 --> 00:15:03,235
In this world there is a ton of love overflowing.
176
00:15:03,260 --> 00:15:06,469
Love that crosses over race. Love that crosses over age.
177
00:15:06,494 --> 00:15:10,445
Love that crosses over one's position. Love that crosses over species.
178
00:15:10,470 --> 00:15:11,234
If it suits you...
179
00:15:16,618 --> 00:15:19,333
You can love any kind of living creature...
180
00:15:35,371 --> 00:15:36,399
What's he up to?
181
00:16:04,244 --> 00:16:08,829
Our employees don't like it when their off days get changed.
182
00:16:09,783 --> 00:16:13,702
They say that people like us who work for security companies don't actually work.
183
00:16:13,727 --> 00:16:19,701
However... It's not like I was immediately woken up by a demo.
184
00:16:19,726 --> 00:16:25,416
It's not like there was drumming and singing to hip hop music in front of our store.
185
00:16:25,441 --> 00:16:26,337
Right?
186
00:16:27,690 --> 00:16:29,854
Tomioka-kun. Are you listening?
187
00:16:55,357 --> 00:16:56,693
When I try and jump him from behind...
188
00:16:56,717 --> 00:16:59,177
it'd be better if I had my golden bat... Did I leave it?
189
00:17:01,763 --> 00:17:02,277
With this...
190
00:17:06,686 --> 00:17:08,080
Horseback riding!
191
00:17:09,223 --> 00:17:12,731
Should I have my golden bat while I'm horseback riding?
192
00:17:12,756 --> 00:17:14,493
Is it too much?
193
00:17:14,518 --> 00:17:15,895
I'll leave it...
194
00:17:19,896 --> 00:17:20,646
Who's that?
195
00:17:37,429 --> 00:17:38,288
A woman?
196
00:17:51,532 --> 00:17:52,360
Hada-san?
197
00:17:54,896 --> 00:17:59,942
- Was it you?
- What are you planning on doing with that golden bat?
198
00:17:59,942 --> 00:18:02,255
You were the culprit...
199
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:04,281
- No, no, no.
- I see
200
00:18:04,299 --> 00:18:07,213
Now, that I think about it... it all makes sense. You also know where my house is.
201
00:18:07,237 --> 00:18:09,010
I thought something was weird from the start.
202
00:18:09,034 --> 00:18:10,204
Hold on one second Tomioka-san...
203
00:18:10,229 --> 00:18:13,281
Well... It doesn't matter if it's a woman...
204
00:18:13,306 --> 00:18:14,938
- Let's do it!
- Hold on one second!
205
00:18:19,274 --> 00:18:20,894
This!
206
00:18:20,919 --> 00:18:23,335
Is that what I think it is?!
207
00:18:23,335 --> 00:18:27,378
You are being threatened by someone, right?
208
00:18:27,403 --> 00:18:28,834
No... well...
209
00:18:28,859 --> 00:18:30,895
Am I right?
210
00:18:30,896 --> 00:18:31,627
Yes.
211
00:18:34,855 --> 00:18:36,854
I'm glad!
212
00:18:36,879 --> 00:18:41,255
I picked up this threatening letter that you dropped.
213
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:46,635
And I didn't know if you were using it to threaten someone or if someone was threatening you...
214
00:18:46,660 --> 00:18:50,287
- Do I look like someone who would threaten a person?
- Just a little bit.
215
00:18:51,946 --> 00:18:55,516
But, on top of that, with all the stuff you've been through lately
216
00:18:55,540 --> 00:18:57,540
your stare has gotten really intense...
217
00:18:57,740 --> 00:19:00,147
Well, that's because...
218
00:19:00,172 --> 00:19:03,706
Of course I'd be mad if someone left this type of letter at my house.
219
00:19:03,731 --> 00:19:06,854
They even went inside my house. Look at this!
220
00:19:06,855 --> 00:19:09,744
They even injured me right here!
221
00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:20,127
The culprit is going to return to the scene of the crime, right?
222
00:19:20,152 --> 00:19:22,200
That's right. I need to hide.
223
00:19:22,225 --> 00:19:24,592
Hold... Hold on, hold on.
224
00:19:24,617 --> 00:19:26,872
I'll get in too! Hey, wait!
225
00:19:26,897 --> 00:19:31,103
- I'll come in too!
- No, no! Wait up... no, no, no... wait up!
226
00:19:40,321 --> 00:19:43,097
Why am I getting excited?
227
00:19:43,122 --> 00:19:47,039
She just smells a little nice. is all... She's my neighbor. isn't she?
228
00:19:47,064 --> 00:19:50,853
Anyways... I'm glad that you're not doing anything bad.
229
00:19:50,854 --> 00:19:52,853
Well...
230
00:19:52,854 --> 00:19:56,853
I just saved a person's life.
231
00:19:56,854 --> 00:20:01,160
If anything, I'm entitled to some sort of reward. Why would I threaten someone?
232
00:20:03,312 --> 00:20:06,767
Do you want a reward?
233
00:20:06,792 --> 00:20:09,638
Do I want one? That kind of thing is...
234
00:20:09,663 --> 00:20:13,894
Well... to be honest I want one.
235
00:20:13,895 --> 00:20:17,949
So, you'd want his body?
236
00:20:17,974 --> 00:20:20,853
- His body?
- Tomioka-san
237
00:20:23,619 --> 00:20:25,855
but do I possess that ability Metsugoro-san speaks of?
238
00:20:21,494 --> 00:20:23,619
I believe that love can cross over all living creatures
239
00:20:21,494 --> 00:20:25,879
{\an8}t/n: Metsugoro is apparently an animal researcher and author
240
00:20:25,879 --> 00:20:27,645
But when I think about it the answer is no!
241
00:20:27,670 --> 00:20:30,126
Hey, Hada-san. What's going on?
242
00:20:30,151 --> 00:20:33,501
I don't know what to do if you are gay or something.
243
00:20:33,526 --> 00:20:34,853
Gay?
244
00:20:34,854 --> 00:20:36,687
I'm gay?
245
00:20:40,052 --> 00:20:41,462
Am I wrong?
246
00:20:41,487 --> 00:20:45,236
You're wrong.
247
00:20:45,261 --> 00:20:47,930
Then... Tomioka-san...
248
00:20:47,930 --> 00:20:48,872
Do you like Gal girls?
249
00:20:47,930 --> 00:20:48,872
{\an8}t/n: A trashy fashion style among Japanese girls that entails tanning their skin and dying their hair blond or brown.
250
00:20:48,872 --> 00:20:52,077
- Well... Yeah, I like them.
- What about boobies?
251
00:20:52,077 --> 00:20:54,997
Boobies... Boobies I like a little more.
252
00:20:59,854 --> 00:21:00,853
I'm glad.
253
00:21:00,854 --> 00:21:08,853
You're glad? What do you mean?
254
00:21:10,795 --> 00:21:11,187
Hey...
255
00:21:14,063 --> 00:21:17,235
Someone is here!
256
00:21:17,260 --> 00:21:18,894
He came! He really came!
257
00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:27,535
Huh? It's that guy?
258
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,404
He looks super weak!
259
00:21:30,691 --> 00:21:32,223
If it's this guy I can win!
260
00:21:33,854 --> 00:21:34,925
Hada-san.
261
00:21:34,950 --> 00:21:36,361
Yes?
262
00:21:36,386 --> 00:21:42,503
I won't forgive some weirdo who sends threatening letters to me.
263
00:21:42,528 --> 00:21:44,894
Please stay right here Hada-san.
264
00:21:44,895 --> 00:21:46,894
I'm going to step out for a bit.
265
00:21:48,895 --> 00:21:50,316
Hey!
266
00:21:54,541 --> 00:21:56,537
What's the meaning of this?
267
00:21:58,983 --> 00:22:01,853
Well... umm...
268
00:22:01,854 --> 00:22:03,853
I thought "I hope he dies".
269
00:22:07,071 --> 00:22:09,612
Hey! Wait! Wait!
270
00:22:09,637 --> 00:22:12,774
Tomioka-san! Is your leg okay?
271
00:22:12,799 --> 00:22:15,853
It's okay. Hada-san...
272
00:22:15,854 --> 00:22:18,788
After I catch the bad guy, I'll come back right away.
273
00:22:18,813 --> 00:22:26,853
Please wait for me right there.
274
00:22:26,854 --> 00:22:28,853
He's just too cool!
275
00:22:51,895 --> 00:22:57,191
- Why do you want me to die!?
- Shut up! I'll do anything for that woman!
276
00:23:00,406 --> 00:23:02,479
Such a dirty trick!
277
00:23:08,415 --> 00:23:09,895
That woman?
278
00:23:10,305 --> 00:24:10,869
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