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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,498 --> 00:00:05,498 Wait, what the hell? 2 00:00:05,533 --> 00:00:07,903 Why are you wearing somebody's old-ass tablecloth? 3 00:00:08,703 --> 00:00:11,443 Oscar's coming over and I broke his heart. 4 00:00:11,472 --> 00:00:14,782 So I feel like, as the dumper, I owe it to the injured party, 5 00:00:14,809 --> 00:00:17,379 i.e. the dumpee, to not flaunt my feminine wiles 6 00:00:17,412 --> 00:00:19,612 in this, his time of need. 7 00:00:19,647 --> 00:00:21,377 Well, mission accomplished. 8 00:00:21,416 --> 00:00:23,376 Why do you even own that? 9 00:00:23,418 --> 00:00:25,418 It was ten years ago, it was an art fair, 10 00:00:25,453 --> 00:00:27,423 I was probably high on kettle corn. 11 00:00:28,223 --> 00:00:30,923 Wait, is all that Oscar's? You know the move here 12 00:00:30,959 --> 00:00:32,059 is to sell what you can and throw the rest 13 00:00:32,093 --> 00:00:33,863 of that crap in the river. 14 00:00:33,895 --> 00:00:35,655 Oh, great. So, then I'll be home, watching the news, 15 00:00:35,697 --> 00:00:37,457 and they'll be dragging a dead body from the river 16 00:00:37,498 --> 00:00:38,968 and it'll be wearing Oscar's Imagine Dragons T-shirt? 17 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:40,230 How will I feel then? 18 00:00:40,545 --> 00:00:43,875 - Wait, isn't this your tablet? - Oh, yeah, 19 00:00:43,915 --> 00:00:45,875 but Oscar used to play Grand Theft Auto on it. 20 00:00:45,917 --> 00:00:48,547 I thought beating up pimps might be good for him right now. 21 00:00:48,586 --> 00:00:51,416 Fine, but he is not getting these brownies that you made. 22 00:00:51,456 --> 00:00:53,456 No, they're chocolate scotcheroos, his favorite. 23 00:00:53,491 --> 00:00:55,791 You're giving him a damn breakup gift basket. 24 00:00:55,827 --> 00:00:57,527 You think I should skip all this and just 25 00:00:57,562 --> 00:00:58,732 read him the haiku I wrote? 26 00:00:58,763 --> 00:01:00,933 Do not... I repeat, do not... 27 00:01:00,965 --> 00:01:02,825 read Oscar a haiku. 28 00:01:02,867 --> 00:01:04,067 You haven't even heard it... 29 00:01:04,102 --> 00:01:06,042 No, oh, eh! 30 00:01:06,070 --> 00:01:08,770 Haikus and scotcheroos. Crazy person. 31 00:01:13,711 --> 00:01:15,651 Hey. 32 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:17,710 Hey, come on in. 33 00:01:21,019 --> 00:01:22,789 Here. This is all your stuff. 34 00:01:22,821 --> 00:01:24,761 Okay, right to it. 35 00:01:24,789 --> 00:01:28,129 Lemon-scented and ForceFlex. Bougie. 36 00:01:30,061 --> 00:01:31,601 That mine? 37 00:01:31,629 --> 00:01:33,599 Yeah. And-and a few extra things, too. 38 00:01:33,631 --> 00:01:35,601 I-I thought you should have custody of our shared 39 00:01:35,633 --> 00:01:38,543 froyo punch card. Two more and you get a free sundae. 40 00:01:38,570 --> 00:01:40,640 Premium toppings excluded. 41 00:01:40,672 --> 00:01:42,372 Okay. 42 00:01:42,407 --> 00:01:43,667 And in your email you'll be finding a link 43 00:01:43,708 --> 00:01:45,678 to a Spotify breakup playlist. 44 00:01:45,710 --> 00:01:47,110 80 minutes of songs that speak to 45 00:01:47,145 --> 00:01:48,775 where your heart is right now. 46 00:01:48,813 --> 00:01:50,513 How much of it is Adele? 47 00:01:50,548 --> 00:01:52,118 Well, I think the right amount. 48 00:01:52,150 --> 00:01:53,750 So, all of it. 49 00:01:54,953 --> 00:01:56,453 Okay. 50 00:01:56,487 --> 00:01:58,787 - Oscar, can we talk? - About what? 51 00:01:58,823 --> 00:02:00,793 Well, you-you know I feel horrible 52 00:02:00,825 --> 00:02:02,655 about how this went down. 53 00:02:02,694 --> 00:02:04,964 You feel horrible? 54 00:02:04,996 --> 00:02:06,926 I had to bring back an engagement ring. 55 00:02:06,965 --> 00:02:08,625 The guy looked at me like I was some kind of loser 56 00:02:08,666 --> 00:02:10,596 who got his proposal shot down. 57 00:02:10,635 --> 00:02:13,635 You know why? 'Cause I am. 58 00:02:16,608 --> 00:02:18,108 Love, big, and gorgeous, 59 00:02:18,142 --> 00:02:21,112 a bear's life in the forest, 60 00:02:21,145 --> 00:02:23,675 now, hibernation. 61 00:02:23,715 --> 00:02:25,645 Goodbye. 62 00:02:30,922 --> 00:02:34,022 Oscar heartbroken, 63 00:02:34,058 --> 00:02:37,028 art fair kettle corn yummy, 64 00:02:37,061 --> 00:02:39,531 play, sad playlist, 65 00:02:39,564 --> 00:02:41,104 play. 66 00:02:52,110 --> 00:02:54,750 This goes out to all the broken hearts out there. 67 00:02:54,779 --> 00:02:57,109 And all the breakers of those hearts. 68 00:02:57,916 --> 00:03:00,876 And to you, cookie dough ice cream, because you... 69 00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:02,949 are the real hero today. 70 00:03:06,157 --> 00:03:08,687 ♪ I've been alone with you ♪ 71 00:03:08,726 --> 00:03:12,056 ♪ Inside my mind ♪ 72 00:03:12,096 --> 00:03:15,626 ♪ And in my dreams I've kissed your lips ♪ 73 00:03:15,667 --> 00:03:17,497 ♪ A thousand times ♪ 74 00:03:17,535 --> 00:03:19,565 ♪ I sometimes see you 75 00:03:19,604 --> 00:03:23,514 ♪ Pass outside my door ♪ 76 00:03:26,077 --> 00:03:29,007 ♪ Hello ♪ 77 00:03:29,047 --> 00:03:32,577 ♪ Is it me you're looking for? ♪ 78 00:03:32,617 --> 00:03:35,487 Yes, it is, 'cause we're concerned. 79 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:38,660 Why? I'm great. I'm great. Ah. 80 00:03:38,690 --> 00:03:40,520 Are you sure? Because you took your lunch break 81 00:03:40,558 --> 00:03:43,788 three hours ago and now you are shotgunning boxed wine 82 00:03:43,828 --> 00:03:45,758 like you just got into Sigma Chi. 83 00:03:45,797 --> 00:03:48,627 I hate seeing you so upset. 84 00:03:48,666 --> 00:03:50,666 There, there. 85 00:03:50,702 --> 00:03:53,272 Ah, the comfort of a mother's touch. 86 00:03:53,304 --> 00:03:54,944 Brought you a sandwich and fries. Why don't you 87 00:03:54,973 --> 00:03:58,883 have some of this and a little less peach moscato? 88 00:03:58,910 --> 00:04:01,550 I don't deserve fries. Fries are for good people, 89 00:04:01,579 --> 00:04:04,579 like Oscar or Jesus or Savannah Guthrie. 90 00:04:04,615 --> 00:04:05,945 With those abs, 91 00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:08,894 there's no way Jesus ate fries. 92 00:04:09,887 --> 00:04:12,087 Randy, did I just throw away my only chance at love 93 00:04:12,123 --> 00:04:13,823 and now I'm destined to die alone? 94 00:04:13,858 --> 00:04:17,088 Probably. There, there. 95 00:04:17,128 --> 00:04:19,598 Can you pat me with the hand that doesn't have rings on it? 96 00:04:19,630 --> 00:04:21,970 Oh, I'm sorry, that's my wedding ring. 97 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,030 I guess you wouldn't understand. 98 00:04:25,670 --> 00:04:29,740 Oh, Kat, it-it's time to stop feeling sorry for yourself. 99 00:04:29,774 --> 00:04:31,984 Get back on your feet and live your life. 100 00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:34,280 - How am I supposed to do that? - Ooh! I don't know. 101 00:04:34,312 --> 00:04:36,012 But maybe first take a shower, 102 00:04:36,047 --> 00:04:38,217 because you smell like cheap wine and sadness. 103 00:04:38,249 --> 00:04:40,979 And just a kiss of B.O. 104 00:04:41,019 --> 00:04:42,989 Yeah, get out of the house. Go get some dinner. 105 00:04:43,021 --> 00:04:45,661 You know, after that shower. 106 00:04:45,690 --> 00:04:47,590 Well, who wants to have dinner with me tonight? 107 00:04:47,625 --> 00:04:50,085 Oh, tonight? Nicole and I are going on a riverboat cruise. 108 00:04:50,128 --> 00:04:51,898 Carter's working and I have class. 109 00:04:51,929 --> 00:04:53,959 Sheila and I are going to see Dolly Parton. 110 00:04:53,998 --> 00:04:55,228 But we could skip it. 111 00:04:55,266 --> 00:04:57,726 Shut your stupid little mouth. 112 00:04:57,769 --> 00:04:59,099 I'm sorry, 113 00:04:59,137 --> 00:05:01,667 it's just... it's Dolly. 114 00:05:01,706 --> 00:05:03,106 No, actually, this is better. You know, 115 00:05:03,141 --> 00:05:05,041 I need to get used to being alone again. 116 00:05:05,076 --> 00:05:06,676 Yeah, I'll take myself out to dinner. 117 00:05:06,711 --> 00:05:08,711 There you go. You spent 118 00:05:08,746 --> 00:05:11,046 the first 40 years of your life alone, you can do 40 more. 119 00:05:12,283 --> 00:05:14,183 In a good way. 120 00:05:17,221 --> 00:05:19,161 Hi there. Someone else joining you? 121 00:05:19,190 --> 00:05:23,290 Nope, party of one. Or should I say party of fun. 122 00:05:23,327 --> 00:05:25,757 Can I get you something to drink? 123 00:05:25,797 --> 00:05:26,957 Complimentary bread? 124 00:05:26,998 --> 00:05:28,728 I'll take a martini 125 00:05:28,766 --> 00:05:31,196 and bread that tells me I'm pretty. 126 00:05:31,235 --> 00:05:33,935 Complimentary? Wordpl... I'll take the martini. 127 00:05:40,101 --> 00:05:41,641 Ooh. 128 00:05:41,669 --> 00:05:44,599 Cloudy with a 20% chance of rain tomorrow. 129 00:05:44,639 --> 00:05:47,539 Okay. 130 00:05:47,575 --> 00:05:50,205 Software update? Uh, yes, please. 131 00:05:54,248 --> 00:05:55,678 How you two doing tonight? 132 00:05:57,285 --> 00:05:59,115 I like your top. Very Meghan Markle. 133 00:05:59,153 --> 00:06:01,093 Thank you. 134 00:06:02,290 --> 00:06:03,760 Is that the risotto? I was looking at that. 135 00:06:03,791 --> 00:06:04,961 How's the mouth feel? 136 00:06:04,993 --> 00:06:06,293 It's good. 137 00:06:06,327 --> 00:06:08,657 Four stars from my table-neighbor. 138 00:06:11,199 --> 00:06:13,629 - Here you go. - Thank you. Oh, 139 00:06:13,668 --> 00:06:15,098 Oh, she forgot my bread. Guess she's trying 140 00:06:15,136 --> 00:06:17,236 to get her steps in. 141 00:06:17,271 --> 00:06:19,171 Hey, Kitty Kat. 142 00:06:20,742 --> 00:06:22,042 Nick? 143 00:06:22,076 --> 00:06:24,306 He owns the sandwich shop down the street. 144 00:06:24,345 --> 00:06:26,305 So annoying, so full of himself, 145 00:06:26,347 --> 00:06:28,877 so chiseled and buff. Blech. 146 00:06:28,916 --> 00:06:31,176 Eating by yourself? 147 00:06:31,219 --> 00:06:34,019 - Uh, yes. Taking myself on a little date. - Hm. 148 00:06:34,055 --> 00:06:37,155 I'll take lamest Friday night for 500, Ken. 149 00:06:37,191 --> 00:06:39,261 Uncalled for. 150 00:06:39,293 --> 00:06:41,863 For your information, I'm having a lovely time, and... 151 00:06:41,896 --> 00:06:43,696 Why are you sitting down? 152 00:06:43,731 --> 00:06:45,131 Well, 'cause I don't like eating standing up. 153 00:06:45,166 --> 00:06:46,796 Ooh, that a martini? 154 00:06:46,834 --> 00:06:48,974 Uh, it's my-tini. 155 00:06:49,003 --> 00:06:50,903 My-tini? 156 00:06:50,938 --> 00:06:53,138 You know, that kind of wordplay might be why you're alone. 157 00:06:59,113 --> 00:07:00,783 What's up, baby? 158 00:07:00,815 --> 00:07:03,645 Oh, hey. What-what are you doing here? 159 00:07:03,684 --> 00:07:06,624 In my home. Alone. 160 00:07:06,654 --> 00:07:09,064 Oh, I spilled cherry syrup on myself at the bar. 161 00:07:09,090 --> 00:07:10,220 Max thought I got stabbed. 162 00:07:10,258 --> 00:07:11,928 That boy is so sheltered. 163 00:07:11,959 --> 00:07:14,559 I mean, I also yelled, "Aah! I got stabbed!" 164 00:07:15,763 --> 00:07:17,133 Anyway, your place is closer than mine, 165 00:07:17,165 --> 00:07:18,595 so I came here to clean up. 166 00:07:18,633 --> 00:07:19,803 Well, how did you get in? 167 00:07:19,834 --> 00:07:20,904 Max gave me a key. 168 00:07:20,935 --> 00:07:22,235 Mm. 169 00:07:22,270 --> 00:07:24,000 So, how was art history? 170 00:07:24,038 --> 00:07:26,338 Oh, dull. Two hours of impressionists... 171 00:07:26,374 --> 00:07:28,184 it's blurry, we get it. 172 00:07:28,209 --> 00:07:31,609 Well, uh, maybe I can help liven up your day. 173 00:07:31,646 --> 00:07:33,876 You want to, you know... 174 00:07:37,752 --> 00:07:39,822 Or you can vacuum that couch 175 00:07:39,854 --> 00:07:41,894 because you eat like a first grader at story time. 176 00:07:41,923 --> 00:07:45,093 What if we, uh... 177 00:07:45,126 --> 00:07:46,986 Right now? 178 00:07:47,028 --> 00:07:48,798 And then I'll vacuum after? 179 00:07:48,830 --> 00:07:50,200 Okay. 180 00:07:53,701 --> 00:07:55,301 I'll vacuum now. 181 00:07:58,039 --> 00:08:00,169 So, yeah, Louisville Magazine wants to do an article about me 182 00:08:00,208 --> 00:08:02,078 calling me the charcuterie cutie. 183 00:08:02,110 --> 00:08:04,210 I mean, I didn't come up with it, 184 00:08:04,245 --> 00:08:05,405 but you can tweet me... 185 00:08:05,446 --> 00:08:09,016 @Charcuterie_QT. 186 00:08:09,050 --> 00:08:10,650 I bet you a hundred bucks this guy 187 00:08:10,685 --> 00:08:12,645 doesn't ask a single thing about me. 188 00:08:12,687 --> 00:08:15,217 So, what's going on with you? How are things at the cat café? 189 00:08:15,256 --> 00:08:17,356 Well, obviously, I can't pay each of you $100. 190 00:08:17,391 --> 00:08:21,131 But isn't what we have better than money? 191 00:08:21,162 --> 00:08:23,062 Did you just ask about me? 192 00:08:23,097 --> 00:08:25,067 Yeah. How's business? 193 00:08:25,099 --> 00:08:26,969 Good. I mean, 194 00:08:27,001 --> 00:08:29,101 kind of thought by now I'd be in a position 195 00:08:29,137 --> 00:08:32,767 to buy my building, but I did just get a new cat tree. 196 00:08:32,807 --> 00:08:35,407 I'm just gonna smile and pretend that that's not pathetic. 197 00:08:35,443 --> 00:08:36,983 And I'm just gonna smile and pretend like 198 00:08:37,011 --> 00:08:39,111 you're not a giant douche. 199 00:08:39,147 --> 00:08:43,047 I normally suck at comebacks, but that was pretty good, right? 200 00:08:43,084 --> 00:08:45,254 I am at most a medium douche. But, hey, 201 00:08:45,286 --> 00:08:47,716 buying your building would be a good investment. 202 00:08:47,755 --> 00:08:49,915 Yeah. Just, I'm starting to think about retirement. 203 00:08:49,957 --> 00:08:51,987 Plus, I could put a billboard of myself on the roof 204 00:08:52,026 --> 00:08:54,786 that says, "Yo, Louisville, I own this bitch." 205 00:08:55,630 --> 00:08:58,330 By the way, where's your boyfriend? 206 00:08:58,366 --> 00:09:00,726 Um, actually, Oscar and I broke up. 207 00:09:00,768 --> 00:09:02,198 Oh, man, I'm sorry. 208 00:09:02,236 --> 00:09:04,036 Hey, relationships are tough. 209 00:09:04,071 --> 00:09:06,271 I thought I'd be on my third wife by now. 210 00:09:06,307 --> 00:09:08,377 You really think three women would marry you? 211 00:09:08,409 --> 00:09:11,409 In my mind, one and three are the same woman. 212 00:09:11,445 --> 00:09:13,875 If I can fool her once, I can fool her twice. 213 00:09:13,915 --> 00:09:15,275 And wife number two 214 00:09:15,316 --> 00:09:16,776 would just go back to being the nanny. 215 00:09:16,817 --> 00:09:19,147 Exactly. 216 00:09:19,187 --> 00:09:22,257 Wait, am I having a good time? 217 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:28,400 I am having a good time. 218 00:09:28,429 --> 00:09:31,229 Rebound sex is awesome. 219 00:09:31,265 --> 00:09:32,695 Excuse me. 220 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:41,340 Oh, dear. 221 00:09:41,370 --> 00:09:45,340 This seemed like such a good idea last night. 222 00:09:45,370 --> 00:09:47,540 Nick. 223 00:09:47,580 --> 00:09:49,080 Nick? 224 00:09:51,310 --> 00:09:52,680 Still breathing. 225 00:09:53,780 --> 00:09:55,580 Still beating. 226 00:09:55,620 --> 00:09:57,620 Still taut and juicy. 227 00:09:59,620 --> 00:10:01,760 Nick. 228 00:10:01,790 --> 00:10:03,360 Nick! 229 00:10:03,390 --> 00:10:05,660 I'm new to casual sex. Is this normal? 230 00:10:11,390 --> 00:10:14,090 Yeah, hey, Randi, um... 231 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:16,090 can you come up here for a second? 232 00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:17,690 Yeah, and if you've got 'em, um, 233 00:10:17,730 --> 00:10:19,760 bring jumper cables. 234 00:10:19,790 --> 00:10:23,500 Well, look what the Kat dragged in. 235 00:10:23,530 --> 00:10:25,300 Ha, ha, ha, very clever. 236 00:10:25,330 --> 00:10:27,430 Can you holster your wit and help me wake him? 237 00:10:27,470 --> 00:10:28,670 Well, what did you do to him? 238 00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:30,800 I did all the, you know, 239 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:32,410 good sex stuff. 240 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:35,110 Which obviously left him depleted. 241 00:10:35,140 --> 00:10:36,640 Or it was his sleeping pills. 242 00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:38,450 It was the sex stuff. 243 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:40,280 Look, Kat, I'm all for you 244 00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:42,780 getting your spice where it's nice, but Nick... really? 245 00:10:42,820 --> 00:10:44,690 Trust me, I don't want people to know. Just help me 246 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:46,590 - get him to the shower. - Okay. 247 00:10:46,620 --> 00:10:48,360 Oh, wait, wait, wait. Does he have boxers on? 248 00:10:48,390 --> 00:10:49,490 'Cause I do not want to start my day 249 00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:51,060 with all that flopping at me. 250 00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:54,130 We're good. Flopper in the cage. 251 00:10:56,260 --> 00:10:59,430 - Okay, just... I'll get... - All right. Okay. 252 00:10:59,470 --> 00:11:02,770 - Okay. - Ooh. 253 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:04,640 Was he this heavy when he was on top of you? 254 00:11:04,670 --> 00:11:06,740 Actually, I was the one who was on t... 255 00:11:06,770 --> 00:11:08,300 - You know what, never mind. Just go over there. - Okay, okay. 256 00:11:08,310 --> 00:11:10,140 - Got it? - Got it. 257 00:11:10,180 --> 00:11:12,310 Three, two, one. 258 00:11:12,350 --> 00:11:15,780 Oh. Uh... - Oh, wait... 259 00:11:15,820 --> 00:11:19,790 Is this your first threesome? 260 00:11:19,820 --> 00:11:21,390 Okay, new plan, new plan. 261 00:11:21,420 --> 00:11:22,760 We leave him a note 262 00:11:22,790 --> 00:11:23,860 and I tell him to go out the front door. 263 00:11:23,890 --> 00:11:25,390 That way no one'll see him. 264 00:11:25,430 --> 00:11:27,230 Okay. That'll work. 265 00:11:27,260 --> 00:11:29,360 But why does it smell like stripper in here? 266 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:31,260 Oh, strawberry love oil. 267 00:11:31,300 --> 00:11:32,500 My mom gives it to me every Hanukkah. 268 00:11:32,530 --> 00:11:34,400 It's kosher. 269 00:11:36,270 --> 00:11:37,740 Hey Randi, can I get a coffee? 270 00:11:37,770 --> 00:11:39,210 We're out. 271 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:40,840 You just gave some to that guy. 272 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:42,480 Oh, well, that guy didn't give my boyfriend 273 00:11:42,510 --> 00:11:44,310 a key to my apartment. 274 00:11:44,350 --> 00:11:46,380 Come on, it's not that big a deal. 275 00:11:46,410 --> 00:11:49,220 Aw, well, neither is making your own damn coffee. 276 00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:52,120 Phil, can I get a coffee? 277 00:11:52,150 --> 00:11:55,120 Sorry, I'm team Randi. She scares me. 278 00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:58,590 I got you. She doesn't scare me. 279 00:11:58,630 --> 00:12:01,260 But if she asks, you got this out of the garbage. 280 00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:03,230 Hey, Sheila. How's it going? 281 00:12:03,260 --> 00:12:04,630 Oh, I was just accosted 282 00:12:04,670 --> 00:12:07,800 by a pack of youths begging for money. 283 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:10,540 Mother, those are Girl Scouts selling cookies. 284 00:12:10,570 --> 00:12:13,370 Giving them a name only legitimizes them. 285 00:12:14,510 --> 00:12:16,140 How was your evening? 286 00:12:16,940 --> 00:12:20,280 Fine. I-I took myself out, it was fine. 287 00:12:20,310 --> 00:12:21,820 What'd you do? 288 00:12:21,850 --> 00:12:23,680 Just went to dinner. 289 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,250 And then what? 290 00:12:25,290 --> 00:12:26,620 Why do you assume there's a "then what"? 291 00:12:26,650 --> 00:12:29,220 There was no "then what." Back off, Max. 292 00:12:29,260 --> 00:12:32,130 I am not impressed with the customer service today. 293 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:37,360 Uh, Kat? 294 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:38,800 Oh, oh, this is not good. 295 00:12:38,830 --> 00:12:42,240 Hey Kitty Kat, can I get a coffee to go? 296 00:12:42,270 --> 00:12:45,640 Oh, my. It appears Ms. Silver had a gentleman caller. 297 00:12:46,940 --> 00:12:49,280 So there was a "then what." 298 00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:51,850 Katharine, I didn't know you had it in you. 299 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:54,710 Oh, she had it in her. 300 00:12:54,750 --> 00:12:57,450 Um... what are-what are you doing down here? 301 00:12:57,490 --> 00:12:59,420 Didn't you get my note? 302 00:12:59,450 --> 00:13:01,690 Yeah, "Last night was great. Please go out the front door." 303 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:04,260 Not this front door. The front door to my apartment. 304 00:13:04,290 --> 00:13:05,790 A-And I didn't write "last night was great." 305 00:13:05,830 --> 00:13:06,890 I wrote "I had a great time." 306 00:13:06,930 --> 00:13:08,800 The sex was great, you know, 307 00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:11,260 and so what if the sex was great? I deserve great sex. 308 00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:12,370 Wrong front door, Nick! 309 00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:22,580 Hey, baby. You want some eggs? 310 00:13:22,610 --> 00:13:24,910 What are you doing here again? 311 00:13:24,950 --> 00:13:26,910 I thought I'd squeeze in a nap during my lunch break. 312 00:13:26,950 --> 00:13:28,750 Why are you wearing my bonnet? 313 00:13:28,780 --> 00:13:31,950 Oh, I didn't bring my own. I got to protect the gold. 314 00:13:31,990 --> 00:13:33,620 And my robe? 315 00:13:33,650 --> 00:13:35,620 If I'm napping, I'm taking my pants off. 316 00:13:35,660 --> 00:13:37,920 Plus, this is buttery soft and smells amazing. 317 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:39,390 How do you do that? 318 00:13:39,430 --> 00:13:41,830 I wash it. But who let you in? 319 00:13:41,860 --> 00:13:44,200 I did. Max gave me the key, remember? 320 00:13:44,230 --> 00:13:46,700 - Wh... I thought you gave that back. - Why would I do that? 321 00:13:46,730 --> 00:13:49,600 Because I am not ready for you to have a key to my apartment. 322 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:52,210 What's the big deal? You have the key to my heart. 323 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:55,510 No. No, no, no, that was your lame-ass Valentine's Day present 324 00:13:55,540 --> 00:13:56,940 because you forgot. 325 00:13:56,980 --> 00:13:58,650 I got news for you: 326 00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:00,910 your free massage coupons just expired. 327 00:14:00,950 --> 00:14:03,320 Carter, you can't just come over here whenever you want. 328 00:14:03,350 --> 00:14:06,320 - Well, why not? - Because it's too much like we're living together. 329 00:14:06,350 --> 00:14:07,720 Oh, and I guess that's a bad thing. 330 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:09,960 Look at yourself. It's not a good thing. 331 00:14:09,990 --> 00:14:12,230 Fine. I'll go drain my bubble bath, 332 00:14:12,260 --> 00:14:14,660 blow out the candles and leave. 333 00:14:20,830 --> 00:14:23,100 - Hey, Kat. - What's going on? 334 00:14:23,130 --> 00:14:24,660 Can I get a double bourbon? 335 00:14:24,700 --> 00:14:26,730 You know it's 2:00 in the afternoon. 336 00:14:26,770 --> 00:14:28,700 I need a bartender, not a clock. 337 00:14:28,740 --> 00:14:30,500 I don't know what's going on, 338 00:14:30,540 --> 00:14:32,840 but this is not a good day to be a man. 339 00:14:32,870 --> 00:14:34,610 - You okay? - Yeah, 340 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:36,180 I'm sorry. Just, life keeps 341 00:14:36,210 --> 00:14:38,380 kicking me right in my girl balls. 342 00:14:38,410 --> 00:14:39,880 Still upset about Oscar? 343 00:14:39,910 --> 00:14:42,380 No. I mean, yes, but, 344 00:14:42,420 --> 00:14:43,880 it's, uh... 345 00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:45,520 - talking about the other stuff. - Oh. 346 00:14:45,550 --> 00:14:48,320 Is this about you and Nick getting busy? 347 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:50,260 Did you tell him? 348 00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:53,230 Kat, come on, I care about you, I wouldn't do that. 349 00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:55,290 Your mother did. 350 00:14:55,330 --> 00:14:56,900 So what do I do about Nick? 351 00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:58,830 It was a one-night stand. You do the same thing I did 352 00:14:58,870 --> 00:15:00,830 when I hooked up with your roommate in college. 353 00:15:00,870 --> 00:15:02,400 That happened more than once. 354 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:04,170 God, I miss college. 355 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:05,910 Yeah. I never went to college. 356 00:15:05,940 --> 00:15:08,570 But I had a lot of one-night stands. 357 00:15:08,610 --> 00:15:11,380 Well, I have never had one before. What happens next? 358 00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:12,910 Nothing. You've done everything and everyone 359 00:15:12,950 --> 00:15:14,810 that needed to be done. 360 00:15:14,850 --> 00:15:16,550 Yeah. You had your fun. 361 00:15:16,580 --> 00:15:18,320 Now you just got to hope it isn't too awkward 362 00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:20,320 at your son's next parent-teacher conference. 363 00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:23,720 Well, I'm gonna see him all the time. 364 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:26,590 Like, what do I do if he wants more of this? 365 00:15:26,630 --> 00:15:28,660 Sex moves. 366 00:15:32,430 --> 00:15:34,800 Hey, Brutus. Looking handsome. 367 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:36,570 Keep up the good work. 368 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:37,770 Oh, what about me? I'm handsome. I do good work. 369 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:38,870 I've been told. 370 00:15:38,910 --> 00:15:40,870 By you. Last night. 371 00:15:40,910 --> 00:15:42,780 Three times. 372 00:15:42,810 --> 00:15:45,180 Damn these sex moves. 373 00:15:45,210 --> 00:15:48,180 Yeah, that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. 374 00:15:48,220 --> 00:15:49,580 Talk away, Kitty Kat. 375 00:15:49,620 --> 00:15:52,220 Um, well, last night was fun, 376 00:15:52,250 --> 00:15:54,390 but it was kind of a low point for me. 377 00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:56,760 Like, this is forgetting to wear a bra 378 00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:58,620 on seventh grade picture day, and then 379 00:15:58,660 --> 00:16:01,830 this is you, like, way down here, 380 00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:03,500 below clogging the toilet 381 00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:05,500 at Captain Darby's Shrimp Boat after prom. 382 00:16:05,530 --> 00:16:07,630 Wow, awesome stories. 383 00:16:07,670 --> 00:16:09,700 You should go tell 'em on TikTok. 384 00:16:09,740 --> 00:16:12,540 Um, uh, yeah, so, I just wanted to make it clear 385 00:16:12,570 --> 00:16:15,210 that, uh, last night was a-a one-time thing. 386 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:16,810 Okay. 387 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:18,210 You know, hit it and quit it. 388 00:16:18,250 --> 00:16:19,550 Yep. 389 00:16:19,580 --> 00:16:20,680 Hump 'em and dump 'em. 390 00:16:20,710 --> 00:16:21,710 I got it. 391 00:16:21,750 --> 00:16:23,550 Sex-it and ex-it. 392 00:16:23,580 --> 00:16:25,690 Yes, I'm familiar with how one-night stands work. 393 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:26,950 Okay, good, I'm just not in the headspace right now 394 00:16:26,950 --> 00:16:28,390 to take a lover. 395 00:16:28,420 --> 00:16:31,260 Wow, "headspace to take a lover." 396 00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:34,690 So, Lady Chatterly's closed her bedchambers, then? 397 00:16:34,730 --> 00:16:36,600 I'll see you around, Nick. 398 00:16:36,630 --> 00:16:38,700 Hey, you want to have breakup sex 399 00:16:38,730 --> 00:16:40,900 on a giant wheel of parmesan cheese in the back? 400 00:16:40,930 --> 00:16:42,770 What is wrong with you? 401 00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:45,510 How does he know just the right thing to say? 402 00:16:45,540 --> 00:16:47,540 Let's do this. 403 00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:53,480 All right, the score is nine to nine, next one wins. 404 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:57,650 One, two, three. 405 00:16:59,020 --> 00:17:01,420 Oh, you're going down, little man. 406 00:17:01,460 --> 00:17:02,520 I'm big where it counts. 407 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:04,520 Oh, that makes me uncomfortable. 408 00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:07,790 I meant my quads. But also the other thing. 409 00:17:07,830 --> 00:17:10,260 Oh! Did you just fart? 410 00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:11,860 You know that's an automatic forfeit. 411 00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:14,270 No. But I think I ripped my pants. 412 00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:15,400 You want to give up? 413 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:17,440 - Hell no. - Oh... 414 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:20,270 Uh, what are y'all doing? 415 00:17:20,310 --> 00:17:22,540 - Working. - Working. 416 00:17:22,580 --> 00:17:24,310 Can I talk to you for a second? 417 00:17:24,340 --> 00:17:26,580 Sure. 418 00:17:26,610 --> 00:17:28,650 I got to go change my pants. 419 00:17:31,790 --> 00:17:33,520 What's up? 420 00:17:33,550 --> 00:17:35,720 Not much. Just haven't seen you in a couple days. 421 00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:38,660 Yeah, yeah. Uh, I've been, uh, busy. 422 00:17:38,690 --> 00:17:40,460 Okay. Well, you want to come over tonight? 423 00:17:40,490 --> 00:17:42,460 Nah, I-I don't think so. 424 00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:44,960 Are you sure? 'Cause we can have dinner and then maybe, 425 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,030 you know... 426 00:17:49,470 --> 00:17:52,310 It's been a long week. I'm kind of tired. 427 00:17:52,340 --> 00:17:54,310 Okay, what's going on? 428 00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:55,980 I was thinking that maybe I should 429 00:17:56,010 --> 00:17:59,510 take a step back from-from this, from us. 430 00:18:00,510 --> 00:18:02,820 - Wait, what? - I... I feel like 431 00:18:02,850 --> 00:18:03,880 you've been fighting this relationship 432 00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:05,050 every step of the way. 433 00:18:05,090 --> 00:18:07,090 Is this 'cause of the key thing? 434 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:09,360 Because we both agreed we would take this slow. 435 00:18:09,390 --> 00:18:12,560 We were taking it any slower, we'd be going backwards. 436 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:14,990 Wow. Well, 437 00:18:15,030 --> 00:18:17,700 sorry I'm not sticking to your schedule. 438 00:18:21,570 --> 00:18:24,440 Did you put my backup pants in the freezer? 439 00:18:24,470 --> 00:18:27,640 I'm not in a joking mood. But yeah, I did. 440 00:18:32,050 --> 00:18:33,780 Um, hey, Randi, I-I know 441 00:18:33,810 --> 00:18:35,010 you're having some problems with Carter. 442 00:18:35,050 --> 00:18:36,720 If you think it might help, 443 00:18:36,750 --> 00:18:39,820 I do have a "trouble with your boo" playlist. 444 00:18:39,850 --> 00:18:41,890 How much of it is Adele? 445 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:43,390 Look, I can't help it if her songs 446 00:18:43,420 --> 00:18:45,560 apply to almost every situation. 447 00:18:45,590 --> 00:18:48,060 Well, actually, it would help to talk this out 448 00:18:48,100 --> 00:18:50,130 with someone who understands guy drama. 449 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:52,060 Well, my dear, you've come to the right place. 450 00:18:52,100 --> 00:18:54,530 - I have a lot of... - Phil. 451 00:18:54,570 --> 00:18:57,870 Step into my office, darling. You can call me Dr. Phil. 452 00:19:00,070 --> 00:19:02,110 Hey. 453 00:19:02,140 --> 00:19:04,740 Hey. I'm, uh, glad you're here. We should probably talk. 454 00:19:04,780 --> 00:19:07,480 Oh, let me guess... the lady regrets her dalliances, 455 00:19:07,510 --> 00:19:10,550 both upon bed and upon cheese? 456 00:19:10,580 --> 00:19:13,650 Yes. That is never happening again. Especially not right now, 457 00:19:13,690 --> 00:19:15,490 'cause Randi and Phil are in the kitchen. 458 00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:16,960 Well, that's probably best, because 459 00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:18,990 I got a lot of work to do anyway. 460 00:19:19,030 --> 00:19:22,030 - I just came by to thank you for your idea. - What idea? 461 00:19:22,060 --> 00:19:23,560 Well, the other night you mentioned buying your building, 462 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:25,130 so I looked into it. 463 00:19:25,170 --> 00:19:27,900 You-you looked into this building? My building? 464 00:19:27,940 --> 00:19:30,870 - Soon to be my building. - Your building? 465 00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:34,040 Yeah, I'm buying it. I'm gonna be your new landlord. 466 00:19:35,610 --> 00:19:37,780 This guy just found another way to screw me. 467 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:43,600 He owns my building. He owns the room that I sleep in. 468 00:19:43,630 --> 00:19:46,000 And the room he sometimes sleeps in. 469 00:19:46,030 --> 00:19:47,570 Hey, that was just once. 470 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,470 Mm, I heard it was more than once. 471 00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:51,740 How'd you hear that? I didn't tell anyone. 472 00:19:51,770 --> 00:19:53,270 You just told me. 473 00:19:53,310 --> 00:19:55,470 Oh, gosh. Well, what can I say? 474 00:19:55,510 --> 00:19:57,740 It's these unstoppable sex moves. 475 00:19:57,780 --> 00:19:59,410 Yeah. 476 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:04,420 - Here. - What's this? 477 00:20:04,450 --> 00:20:07,420 - Just open it. - Whoa. 478 00:20:07,450 --> 00:20:11,420 My own robe. Won't flatter my figure like yours, but thanks. 479 00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:13,490 Check the pocket. 480 00:20:14,530 --> 00:20:16,630 - It's a key to my apartment. - Really? 481 00:20:16,660 --> 00:20:19,430 Yeah. You were right, I have been 482 00:20:19,470 --> 00:20:22,030 - fighting this relationship. - Why? 483 00:20:22,070 --> 00:20:24,000 Look, I already pay somebody by the hour to talk about it. 484 00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:26,070 Just trust me, I don't want to screw this up. 485 00:20:26,110 --> 00:20:27,640 Baby, I think we both know that 486 00:20:27,670 --> 00:20:29,540 I would be the one to screw this up. 487 00:20:31,540 --> 00:20:33,350 So, you can come over whenever you want. 488 00:20:33,380 --> 00:20:34,810 Appreciate that. 489 00:20:34,850 --> 00:20:36,580 Just make sure you text me three hours in advance. 490 00:20:36,620 --> 00:20:38,520 - Not a problem. - And Sunday morning is my time. 491 00:20:38,550 --> 00:20:40,390 - Yes, Lord, it is. - And no more than two days in a row. 492 00:20:40,420 --> 00:20:41,690 Are you sure you want me to have this? 493 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:43,390 No, but I gave it to you anyway. 494 00:20:43,420 --> 00:20:46,490 Maybe I'll surprise you and stop by tonight. 495 00:20:46,530 --> 00:20:48,590 - Don't. - Got it. 496 00:20:48,630 --> 00:20:52,760 One, two, three. 497 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:55,600 - Oh, you're so strong! - Oh, geez! 498 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:58,340 For the record, 499 00:20:58,370 --> 00:21:00,610 these are not my unstoppable sex moves. 500 00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:02,610 ♪ I do it big, big, big ♪ 501 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:03,940 ♪ This ain't no medium, this ain't no medium ♪ 502 00:21:03,980 --> 00:21:05,880 ♪ I let 'em gas me up ♪ 503 00:21:05,910 --> 00:21:07,850 ♪ Only take premium, only take premium ♪ 504 00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:12,780 ♪ Do what I want, want, want, so disobedient ♪ 505 00:21:12,820 --> 00:21:16,720 ♪ Say I don't got the juice, you a comedian, ha, ha, ha ♪ 506 00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:18,460 ♪ I do it big, big, big ♪ 507 00:21:18,490 --> 00:21:20,860 ♪ So big, large ♪ 508 00:21:20,890 --> 00:21:22,830 ♪ Only take premium, only take premium ♪ 509 00:21:22,860 --> 00:21:24,660 ♪ This ain't no medium, this ain't no medium. ♪ 35106

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