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1
00:00:23,820 --> 00:00:25,110
Oh.
2
00:00:25,270 --> 00:00:26,230
Ohh!
3
00:00:27,420 --> 00:00:28,470
Whoo!
4
00:00:28,490 --> 00:00:30,260
. Whoo.
5
00:00:32,430 --> 00:00:35,100
_
6
00:00:38,190 --> 00:00:42,060
_
7
00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:46,210
Mm-hmm.
8
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,400
The Morristown Frackers
9
00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:29,110
would like to thank you
all for attending today.
10
00:01:32,190 --> 00:01:36,290
All... oh, let's call it a dozen of you.
11
00:01:36,380 --> 00:01:37,910
Guess you lucky fans
12
00:01:37,980 --> 00:01:40,110
can just feel free to
stretch your legs right out
13
00:01:40,180 --> 00:01:42,190
and enjoy your own section
14
00:01:42,260 --> 00:01:44,500
all to yourself.
15
00:01:51,380 --> 00:01:52,930
Hey.
16
00:01:53,170 --> 00:01:55,480
What, um... What are
you... What are you wearing?
17
00:01:55,540 --> 00:01:57,210
Yeah, all right. I
know I look ridiculous,
18
00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:59,900
but my dad wore it when they
went on a winning streak in '86,
19
00:01:59,980 --> 00:02:03,010
so I figured, can't hurt.
20
00:02:03,150 --> 00:02:07,290
Is dressing badly, like,
just a thing for baseball?
21
00:02:07,350 --> 00:02:09,060
'Cause that would explain his jacket.
22
00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:12,260
Superstition is a thing in baseball.
23
00:02:12,330 --> 00:02:14,090
It's a tradition that if
you're on a losing streak,
24
00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:15,700
you change everything that you're doing.
25
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:16,760
And if you're on a winning streak,
26
00:02:16,830 --> 00:02:18,330
you don't change anything.
27
00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:20,000
Well said. Now, can you say
some of that into the mic?
28
00:02:20,070 --> 00:02:21,570
I ain't paying you to talk to Charles.
29
00:02:21,630 --> 00:02:22,640
Uribe's at the plate.
30
00:02:24,640 --> 00:02:25,870
I don't need a microphone
31
00:02:25,930 --> 00:02:29,340
to chat with a dozen
people at the ballpark.
32
00:02:29,410 --> 00:02:32,480
Hey, Uribe! You look
slimmer! Did you lose weight?
33
00:02:32,550 --> 00:02:36,150
Oh, yes, I did, Jim.
Thank you for noticing.
34
00:02:36,980 --> 00:02:39,450
As long as it's into the mic.
35
00:02:42,860 --> 00:02:46,230
Pedro Uribe has lost weight.
36
00:02:46,290 --> 00:02:48,500
That is all.
37
00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:51,100
You know what's not helping
my suicidal depression?
38
00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:53,330
Calling baseball games
into an empty stadium
39
00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:55,570
and having my own words
bounce back into my face
40
00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:58,840
like some kind of haunting
metaphor for life's futility.
41
00:02:58,910 --> 00:03:01,510
Listen, my plan is gonna take time.
42
00:03:01,570 --> 00:03:03,740
Morristown has been drowning
in apathy for so long,
43
00:03:03,810 --> 00:03:05,110
they... they don't even recognize
44
00:03:05,180 --> 00:03:06,950
that I'm throwing them a life preserver.
45
00:03:07,010 --> 00:03:09,170
Plus, I'm competing with
dirt-cheap entertainment
46
00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:10,410
that's in every home here.
47
00:03:10,750 --> 00:03:11,990
Cable?
48
00:03:13,020 --> 00:03:15,090
- Meth.
- Ah.
49
00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:17,090
But they'll all come around soon enough
50
00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:19,690
'cause I'm offering the
only drug more powerful.
51
00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:21,160
Heroin.
52
00:03:21,230 --> 00:03:22,930
Nostalgia.
53
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,700
I think you're wildly
underestimating heroin.
54
00:03:25,770 --> 00:03:27,190
When the team starts winning again,
55
00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:31,270
everyone's gonna come back so
they can relive the glory days.
56
00:03:31,340 --> 00:03:32,310
What makes you think
57
00:03:32,350 --> 00:03:34,380
that that team is gonna
win any ball games?
58
00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:38,510
Our luck is gonna change. We're due!
59
00:03:38,580 --> 00:03:40,810
The team, me, even you.
60
00:03:52,630 --> 00:03:55,930
Oh, yeah, laugh at my hope.
61
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:59,770
I'm sorry, it's just...
You actually believe that?
62
00:03:59,950 --> 00:04:02,870
Yeah, and I put my money where
my mouth is when I got my loan.
63
00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:06,710
You know what? Let me
take a look at this.
64
00:04:06,770 --> 00:04:08,380
- No, wait, 'cause it's...
- No, no! Come on.
65
00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,340
No! It's turtle racing starting soon.
66
00:04:10,410 --> 00:04:12,110
- Stacy.
- Come on, hey, let me see it.
67
00:04:12,180 --> 00:04:13,550
I know a thing or two about loans.
68
00:04:13,610 --> 00:04:16,050
I did a bunch of commercials
for reverse mortgages
69
00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:17,490
back in the Philippines.
70
00:04:18,490 --> 00:04:20,490
Is it big enough?
71
00:04:20,550 --> 00:04:22,990
Uh, I'm gonna need you to
top me off, though, first.
72
00:04:23,060 --> 00:04:26,460
Jesus, you're blowing
through all my good whiskey.
73
00:04:27,930 --> 00:04:29,230
Care for some...
74
00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:31,860
... Sambuca?
75
00:04:42,610 --> 00:04:44,850
You have a balloon payment due
76
00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:47,010
after the first month of the season?
77
00:04:47,070 --> 00:04:49,740
Yep. Hey! No nudging the turtles!
78
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,620
Yeah, wait till you get to page 47.
79
00:04:53,690 --> 00:04:55,090
No, I saw that.
80
00:04:55,150 --> 00:04:57,820
The team has to finish above .500.
81
00:05:01,690 --> 00:05:04,960
Why in the world would
you agree to all this crap?
82
00:05:05,030 --> 00:05:06,830
I couldn't just let the team die.
83
00:05:06,900 --> 00:05:09,370
It would be like losing a limb.
84
00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:13,310
My dad played first base for
Morristown from '81 to '87.
85
00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:18,440
Shit, I lost my virginity in
the visitors' bullpen in '88.
86
00:05:18,510 --> 00:05:21,010
I did what I had to do.
87
00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:23,680
Here's to giant, life-altering mistakes.
88
00:05:23,750 --> 00:05:26,690
We both know them well.
89
00:05:26,750 --> 00:05:28,960
We surely do.
90
00:05:31,190 --> 00:05:33,760
Ugh! This shit is disgusting.
91
00:05:33,830 --> 00:05:35,430
- It does the trick.
- Mm-hmm.
92
00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:37,960
Christ's sakes, you're
starting to look good to me,
93
00:05:38,030 --> 00:05:39,700
and you're a goddamned disaster.
94
00:05:39,770 --> 00:05:41,940
Well, thank you for the half-compliment.
95
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,370
And for the record,
96
00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:46,110
you looked good to me when
that bottle was still full.
97
00:05:46,170 --> 00:05:48,710
I'll give you one shot.
98
00:05:48,780 --> 00:05:50,310
Woo me.
99
00:05:50,380 --> 00:05:53,010
I may not be the best in any room,
100
00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:55,880
but I am definitely
the best in this room.
101
00:06:02,420 --> 00:06:04,390
- Get it off!
- I'm getting it off!
102
00:06:04,460 --> 00:06:06,620
Aah!
103
00:06:06,730 --> 00:06:08,160
All right, for those
of you just joining us,
104
00:06:08,230 --> 00:06:09,930
I got a good one going here.
105
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,370
Brockmire taking no chances,
106
00:06:11,430 --> 00:06:12,830
starting right off in the missionary.
107
00:06:12,900 --> 00:06:14,200
Okay, shh.
108
00:06:14,270 --> 00:06:15,640
- He's trying to find his rhythm.
- Okay, okay, shh.
109
00:06:15,700 --> 00:06:17,140
Ho!
110
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:20,410
Julia James with a surprise
finger in the keister!
111
00:06:20,470 --> 00:06:22,340
And Brockmire is into it.
112
00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:25,140
Oh, man!
113
00:06:25,210 --> 00:06:27,910
The old fastball sign makes
for a real snug butt plug.
114
00:06:27,980 --> 00:06:29,680
Okay, folks.
115
00:06:29,750 --> 00:06:32,320
Bott...
116
00:06:32,390 --> 00:06:33,820
Bottom of the 9th.
117
00:06:36,020 --> 00:06:37,590
Frackers have runners on the corners,
118
00:06:37,660 --> 00:06:38,990
and I'm just gonna...
119
00:06:39,060 --> 00:06:42,190
I'm gonna rest my eyes
for just a little bit.
120
00:06:42,260 --> 00:06:44,830
Sambuca.
121
00:06:47,530 --> 00:06:51,840
Hey, am I wrong? Is the
winning point at bat?
122
00:06:51,900 --> 00:06:54,640
The winning run is up, yes,
123
00:06:54,710 --> 00:06:56,040
but he hits the ball
124
00:06:56,110 --> 00:06:58,310
like he's trying to wake
it up from a little nap,
125
00:06:58,380 --> 00:07:01,480
so I'm just gonna take it easy
until he makes the final out.
126
00:07:01,550 --> 00:07:02,750
Okay, whatever,
127
00:07:02,820 --> 00:07:04,250
as long as you stop talking about...
128
00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:07,050
Oh, my God, last night was
some of the best sex I ever had.
129
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:09,920
No. No, you didn't
stop talking about it.
130
00:07:09,990 --> 00:07:12,160
There was an improvisational
quality to it.
131
00:07:12,230 --> 00:07:14,890
It... It was like every
surface in her apartment
132
00:07:14,950 --> 00:07:17,090
- was a workbench upon which...
- No.
133
00:07:17,150 --> 00:07:18,330
Yeah, upon which
134
00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:19,640
- we constructed our sexual art.
- Please.
135
00:07:19,900 --> 00:07:22,940
Hey, Jim? Please stop, okay?
136
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,440
Jules is like my mom,
137
00:07:24,510 --> 00:07:26,840
and you've been talking
about having sex with her
138
00:07:26,910 --> 00:07:27,970
for the past three hours.
139
00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:29,510
- I just...
- It's messed up!
140
00:07:29,580 --> 00:07:31,680
I just... I have to end things with her
141
00:07:31,750 --> 00:07:33,980
before everything gets messy,
142
00:07:34,050 --> 00:07:36,080
metaphorically and literally.
143
00:07:36,150 --> 00:07:38,420
We went through half a
tube of lube last night.
144
00:07:38,490 --> 00:07:39,650
Aaaah!
145
00:07:39,740 --> 00:07:40,970
Stop it! Stop, shh!
146
00:07:41,020 --> 00:07:42,820
This wasn't about vaginal moisture.
147
00:07:42,890 --> 00:07:44,360
She has that in spades.
148
00:07:44,430 --> 00:07:46,530
It was strictly a friction issue.
149
00:07:46,590 --> 00:07:48,160
Shut up!
150
00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:52,000
Lazy fly ball to left field.
151
00:07:52,070 --> 00:07:54,470
This should do it, folks.
152
00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:55,700
Whoa!
153
00:07:55,770 --> 00:07:57,200
No! It falls!
154
00:07:57,270 --> 00:08:00,370
And now Maldonado kicks
it like it owes him money.
155
00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:03,340
And now they're sprinting
around the bases.
156
00:08:03,410 --> 00:08:05,950
- Go, go, go!
- It's a Little League home run!
157
00:08:06,010 --> 00:08:07,680
The Frackers win!
158
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:11,380
The Frackers win!
159
00:08:13,350 --> 00:08:15,690
Yeah! Whoo!
160
00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:24,860
Uh...
161
00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:29,370
Uh... for the record,
162
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:31,700
Sambuca tastes better
on the way out, folks.
163
00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:35,710
Ohh.
164
00:08:35,780 --> 00:08:38,510
Look, I'm disaster on about
17 different levels, all right,
165
00:08:38,580 --> 00:08:41,080
so I just think any more
hanky panky between us
166
00:08:41,150 --> 00:08:43,350
would, well, probably be a mistake.
167
00:08:43,420 --> 00:08:44,650
Huge mistake.
168
00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:47,220
For Christ's sakes, you say
things like "hanky panky."
169
00:08:47,290 --> 00:08:48,720
Trust me, sleeping with you
170
00:08:48,790 --> 00:08:50,190
was one of the biggest
regrets of my life,
171
00:08:50,260 --> 00:08:52,660
and I have a tattoo of a
dream catcher on my ankle.
172
00:08:52,730 --> 00:08:54,370
To be clear, okay, I...
173
00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:56,410
Hey, I do not think that I am capable
174
00:08:56,490 --> 00:08:58,970
of having a successful
adult relationship anymore.
175
00:08:59,030 --> 00:09:01,600
Yeah, no. That's... abundantly clear.
176
00:09:01,670 --> 00:09:04,970
Well, getting emasculated
in front of America
177
00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:06,410
caused me to chase ass like a Kennedy,
178
00:09:06,470 --> 00:09:09,880
but, you know, you're not
just some fling in a bar.
179
00:09:09,930 --> 00:09:11,040
You happen to be my boss.
180
00:09:11,110 --> 00:09:12,980
So... What... What...
What are you doing?
181
00:09:13,050 --> 00:09:15,150
Are you serious?
182
00:09:15,210 --> 00:09:16,680
They won.
183
00:09:16,750 --> 00:09:20,050
So... unfortunately for both of us,
184
00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:23,660
we're gonna have to repeat
everything we did last night.
185
00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:28,810
Ho, what the hell. All right.
186
00:09:28,850 --> 00:09:30,600
Uh, just keep that dream
catcher tattoo covered up,
187
00:09:30,660 --> 00:09:33,200
because I have to maintain
an erection over here.
188
00:09:33,270 --> 00:09:35,040
I actually don't think
that's gonna be a problem.
189
00:09:35,100 --> 00:09:36,840
I call bottom this time!
190
00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:42,370
I can believe you went
down on me three times.
191
00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:43,930
Oh, I can do it again.
192
00:09:43,970 --> 00:09:44,940
You still haven't experienced
193
00:09:45,020 --> 00:09:48,340
what I like to call the
conference on the mound.
194
00:09:48,350 --> 00:09:49,650
- Okay, shh.
- You know, it's kind of a...
195
00:09:49,740 --> 00:09:51,550
Shut up.
196
00:09:51,690 --> 00:09:54,020
Is that the finger
that you put in my ass?
197
00:09:54,610 --> 00:09:55,650
Shh.
198
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,490
Hope you folks are all enjoying
199
00:09:58,530 --> 00:10:00,830
"Free Cold Medicine Day"
here at the ballpark.
200
00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:03,900
Quick reminder... Go ahead
and have another gel pack.
201
00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:05,430
The Frackers won't judge you
202
00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:08,020
like those snooty pharmacy assholes.
203
00:10:08,100 --> 00:10:09,940
All right, now, listen up.
204
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,310
We got a good one going here.
205
00:10:11,370 --> 00:10:12,710
Look at the field now,
206
00:10:12,770 --> 00:10:14,140
because the Frackers are threatening
207
00:10:14,210 --> 00:10:15,380
here in the bottom of the 8th
208
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,010
with runners on the corners.
209
00:10:18,850 --> 00:10:20,650
And here comes the pitch.
210
00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:23,280
Whoo!
211
00:10:23,350 --> 00:10:27,750
Some might call that Istanbul,
but I call it Constantinople!
212
00:10:27,820 --> 00:10:29,630
The Frackers take the lead!
213
00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:31,420
My gosh, what a comeback.
214
00:10:31,490 --> 00:10:36,760
So, a Sambuca-fueled Brockmire
is still struggling mightily
215
00:10:36,830 --> 00:10:38,030
with the button-fly jeans.
216
00:10:38,100 --> 00:10:39,800
Come on, now!
217
00:10:39,870 --> 00:10:41,640
All right. Here comes the
payoff pitch from Grant.
218
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:45,010
Deep fly ball to center field.
219
00:10:45,070 --> 00:10:46,440
Back at the warning track.
220
00:10:46,510 --> 00:10:48,440
He makes the grab,
221
00:10:48,510 --> 00:10:53,180
and the Frackers miraculously
escape a bases-loaded jam.
222
00:10:53,250 --> 00:10:55,150
My goodness!
223
00:10:56,550 --> 00:10:57,380
Proceed.
224
00:10:59,090 --> 00:11:00,890
Oh, my God. Just shoot me.
225
00:11:00,950 --> 00:11:02,020
Frickin' shoot me.
226
00:11:02,090 --> 00:11:03,560
Oh, my goodness.
227
00:11:03,620 --> 00:11:05,960
He dropped the ball. That's a balk!
228
00:11:06,030 --> 00:11:07,430
A walk-off balk
229
00:11:07,450 --> 00:11:09,900
gives the Frackers
their fifth win in a row.
230
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:12,170
Now I have seen everything.
231
00:11:12,230 --> 00:11:13,300
Cheers.
232
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:18,870
Oh, it's happening.
233
00:11:18,940 --> 00:11:20,840
- No, he's not!
- It's happening.
234
00:11:20,910 --> 00:11:23,110
No! Oh, yes!
235
00:11:23,180 --> 00:11:26,180
All right! Go, Brockmire!
236
00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:28,180
Oh, my God!
237
00:11:28,250 --> 00:11:29,450
Ladies and gentlemen,
238
00:11:29,510 --> 00:11:34,490
Brockmire showing the crowd
why naked men should never run.
239
00:11:36,060 --> 00:11:40,690
Your dick and balls look like
they're having a fistfight!
240
00:11:41,730 --> 00:11:43,160
Home run... Frackers!
241
00:11:43,230 --> 00:11:45,370
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
242
00:11:45,430 --> 00:11:48,100
That's their sixth win in a row.
243
00:11:48,170 --> 00:11:53,170
♪ And the rockets' red glare ♪
244
00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:58,370
♪ The bombs bursting in air ♪
245
00:11:58,450 --> 00:12:00,570
♪ Gave proof through the... ♪
246
00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:01,850
Where have you been?!
247
00:12:01,890 --> 00:12:03,030
Charles got T-boned by
248
00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:04,810
an ambulance on the way here.
249
00:12:04,820 --> 00:12:08,190
I-I... It was full of
blood for a blood drive.
250
00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:09,560
I kept slipping in it.
251
00:12:09,590 --> 00:12:11,210
- Wait, so that's not your blood?
- No.
252
00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:12,860
- Get out. Get out.
- I don't know whose blood this is.
253
00:12:12,930 --> 00:12:15,230
- I don't know whose blood this is!
- Close the door.
254
00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:17,760
She's already singing.
We don't have any time.
255
00:12:17,830 --> 00:12:19,930
Shit, shit, shit.
256
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,900
♪ ... wave ♪
257
00:12:21,970 --> 00:12:23,340
Come on, Brockmire!
258
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:24,740
All right. I'm hurrying.
I'm hurrying I am. I am.
259
00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:28,780
♪ ... land of the free ♪
260
00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:31,310
♪ Oh ♪
261
00:12:31,380 --> 00:12:34,280
♪ And the home ♪
262
00:12:34,350 --> 00:12:39,550
♪ Of the brave ♪
263
00:12:39,620 --> 00:12:42,220
Lay it down.
264
00:12:51,770 --> 00:12:53,300
My goodness. You were right.
265
00:12:53,370 --> 00:12:55,570
These people... They
are high on nostalgia.
266
00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:56,870
Jules!
267
00:12:56,940 --> 00:12:58,240
- Jules.
- Hey!
268
00:12:58,300 --> 00:13:01,110
Who's that haircut with teeth?
269
00:13:01,170 --> 00:13:02,510
Um, that's Gary.
270
00:13:02,580 --> 00:13:04,310
- Gary.
- He's the point person around here
271
00:13:04,380 --> 00:13:06,450
for Pennsylvania Shale Oil and Gas.
272
00:13:06,510 --> 00:13:08,150
We kind of had a thing for a bit.
273
00:13:08,210 --> 00:13:09,180
Did you now?
274
00:13:10,380 --> 00:13:11,690
Look at this crowd.
275
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:14,620
I'm so proud of you.
Your dream's coming true.
276
00:13:14,690 --> 00:13:16,020
Mm.
277
00:13:16,090 --> 00:13:17,560
Thank you.
278
00:13:17,620 --> 00:13:19,290
Um, Gary, I want you to meet...
279
00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:21,090
Jim Brockmire.
280
00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:22,700
Wow. I'll tell you what.
281
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:25,710
I am a big fan of your
work in Kansas City.
282
00:13:25,770 --> 00:13:27,700
- I don't like you.
- What?
283
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:30,000
Something about your essence is
just rubbing me the wrong way,
284
00:13:30,170 --> 00:13:31,040
so I'd appreciate it if you'd just...
285
00:13:31,110 --> 00:13:32,170
just keep your distance from me.
286
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,310
Uh, Jim...
287
00:13:34,390 --> 00:13:37,360
Gary is a friend.
288
00:13:37,430 --> 00:13:39,610
He's the one who helped me get my loan
289
00:13:39,700 --> 00:13:40,530
so I could buy the team.
290
00:13:40,630 --> 00:13:41,390
- Really?
- Yes.
291
00:13:41,410 --> 00:13:42,300
'Cause I read that loan,
292
00:13:42,350 --> 00:13:43,920
and no true friend would
ever let you sign it.
293
00:13:44,540 --> 00:13:46,410
Come on. The guy is
obviously up to something.
294
00:13:46,470 --> 00:13:48,980
The man works for a gas
company, for crying out loud.
295
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:52,010
Never trust a man who sucks
Satan's dick for a living.
296
00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:53,380
All right.
297
00:13:53,450 --> 00:13:55,410
Nice to meet you. Stay
the hell away from me.
298
00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:58,820
Don't be sorry. Everybody gets jealous.
299
00:13:58,890 --> 00:14:01,690
Jea... Uh, whoa. Excuse...
300
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:03,960
Now, why would I be jealous, sweetheart?
301
00:14:04,020 --> 00:14:05,260
Well, it's only natural.
302
00:14:05,330 --> 00:14:07,130
When two people spend
this much time together,
303
00:14:07,190 --> 00:14:08,460
feelings bubble up.
304
00:14:08,530 --> 00:14:10,600
Darlin', I don't have feelings for you.
305
00:14:10,660 --> 00:14:12,770
I don't have feelings for anybody.
306
00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:17,500
Just out of curiosity, though,
307
00:14:17,570 --> 00:14:20,870
um, how long did you and
Gary date for, anyway?
308
00:14:20,940 --> 00:14:23,480
We went out two or three times.
309
00:14:23,540 --> 00:14:25,480
Did you, uh, have sex with him?
310
00:14:25,550 --> 00:14:27,580
Seven and a half...
311
00:14:27,650 --> 00:14:30,950
Depends how you... I mean,
eight times, probably.
312
00:14:31,030 --> 00:14:32,700
Wow. Seven and a half.
313
00:14:32,750 --> 00:14:33,470
Half a time?
314
00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:34,940
That should have been
interesting. All right.
315
00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:37,260
Just... I'm sorry. I
can't... I... Really?
316
00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:40,160
'Cause I can't believe you
actually had sex with that guy.
317
00:14:40,230 --> 00:14:41,660
Why? He's very nice
318
00:14:41,730 --> 00:14:43,010
and knows a lot about wine
319
00:14:43,020 --> 00:14:44,050
- and isn't diabetic.
- Oh.
320
00:14:44,110 --> 00:14:45,900
And around here, that makes him
the catch of the frickin' century.
321
00:14:45,970 --> 00:14:47,670
And you know what? You
have no right to judge me.
322
00:14:47,740 --> 00:14:50,500
You've admitted to having
sex with prostitutes
323
00:14:50,570 --> 00:14:51,970
all over the world.
324
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:54,210
Hey, I was helping those
ladies find a new life
325
00:14:54,270 --> 00:14:55,310
20 bucks at a time.
326
00:14:55,380 --> 00:14:56,540
20 bucks?
327
00:14:56,610 --> 00:14:58,810
Oh, the dollar's very strong right now.
328
00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:00,580
You know what? You're an asshole.
329
00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:02,750
I can't even look at
you. Tonight, blindfolds.
330
00:15:02,820 --> 00:15:04,220
No, we're not. You know why?
331
00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:05,750
'Cause I'm tired of treating my dick
332
00:15:05,820 --> 00:15:07,120
like some kind of a lucky
333
00:15:07,190 --> 00:15:07,960
- rabbit's foot.
- Oh.
334
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,090
No, the idea that our sex
335
00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:11,860
is actually helping the
Frackers win ball games is...
336
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:12,890
It's ludicrous.
337
00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:15,190
So, if you don't believe in the streak
338
00:15:15,260 --> 00:15:17,460
and you don't have any feelings for me,
339
00:15:17,530 --> 00:15:18,700
why have we been having sex
340
00:15:18,770 --> 00:15:20,370
every night for the last two weeks?
341
00:15:20,430 --> 00:15:22,270
Because I thought my only other option
342
00:15:22,340 --> 00:15:24,590
was talking to that asshole all night.
343
00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:25,340
But you know?
344
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:26,410
- No, maybe I made a mistake.
- Oh.
345
00:15:26,450 --> 00:15:27,870
Hey, friend? Excuse me.
346
00:15:27,940 --> 00:15:29,010
What's your story?
347
00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:30,610
Oh. Well...
348
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:33,210
I was born two days prematurely.
349
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:34,650
No, no.
350
00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:36,550
Clearly, I was right to
have sex with you instead.
351
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:38,280
So, all right. How about this...
352
00:15:38,390 --> 00:15:39,750
Ehh...
353
00:15:39,820 --> 00:15:41,890
I don't really feel like it anymore.
354
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:44,320
I mean, I didn't feel like
it half the times we did it.
355
00:15:44,390 --> 00:15:46,960
Your personal grooming is...
356
00:15:48,430 --> 00:15:50,060
It's atrocious, and you
smell like weird herbs.
357
00:15:50,130 --> 00:15:51,730
Oh, that's the Sambuca.
358
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:55,570
Only reason I did it was because
it was my civic frickin' duty.
359
00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:58,510
But I would rather lose
every game from here on in
360
00:15:58,570 --> 00:16:01,240
than have sex with you again.
361
00:16:01,310 --> 00:16:04,010
Fi-Fine. Okay.
362
00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:07,680
I'll bet we win tomorrow's game by...
363
00:16:07,750 --> 00:16:10,620
And with the score 18-0,
364
00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:12,590
looks like the fairy tale is over
365
00:16:12,650 --> 00:16:14,690
and the Frackers have
turned back into a pumpkin
366
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:16,060
through no fault of anyone's
367
00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:19,090
other than the players
on the field, of course.
368
00:16:28,340 --> 00:16:30,640
All right. Frackers are
down to their final out.
369
00:16:30,710 --> 00:16:32,350
Here comes the pitch.
370
00:16:32,410 --> 00:16:34,120
Good slider there,
371
00:16:34,180 --> 00:16:37,520
and the count goes to 0-2 now to Uribe.
372
00:16:37,590 --> 00:16:38,890
Hey, Brockmire!
373
00:16:38,950 --> 00:16:41,820
You want to party with Uribe tonight?
374
00:16:44,190 --> 00:16:46,260
Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm free.
375
00:16:46,330 --> 00:16:47,560
Strike!
376
00:16:47,630 --> 00:16:49,660
I guess I'm free now.
377
00:16:52,130 --> 00:16:54,840
So, is you dating anyone?
378
00:16:54,900 --> 00:16:57,400
No. Why do you ask that?
379
00:16:57,470 --> 00:17:00,240
Oh, I think maybe you and Miss Jules.
380
00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:02,040
No, no. Hey, no.
381
00:17:02,110 --> 00:17:05,080
Nothing going on between
me and Miss "Hools."
382
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:07,720
What about you? You...
You got anybody special?
383
00:17:07,780 --> 00:17:10,190
Ha. Uribe never marry.
384
00:17:10,250 --> 00:17:13,620
No one ties me down,
not even my 13 kids.
385
00:17:13,690 --> 00:17:15,660
13 kids?
386
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:16,990
I'm Catholic.
387
00:17:17,060 --> 00:17:19,290
Condoms are sin, and I hate to pull out.
388
00:17:19,360 --> 00:17:21,630
I hear you. Very difficult
to leave the party
389
00:17:21,700 --> 00:17:23,060
when it is just getting good.
390
00:17:23,130 --> 00:17:25,260
Child support is why I still play,
391
00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:27,200
even though I only 29.
392
00:17:27,270 --> 00:17:30,270
American kids are so expensive.
393
00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:32,210
The Dominican ones, not so much.
394
00:17:32,270 --> 00:17:33,710
The dollar is very strong right now.
395
00:17:33,780 --> 00:17:35,640
Oh, hey. You... You
don't have to tell me.
396
00:17:37,580 --> 00:17:39,480
Ooh-ha!
397
00:17:39,550 --> 00:17:41,520
Ah.
398
00:17:41,580 --> 00:17:44,650
And as my guest...
399
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:47,190
you can pick.
400
00:17:47,260 --> 00:17:48,420
Oh. Well, uh...
401
00:17:48,490 --> 00:17:50,660
Well, let's just...
We'll let the girls pick.
402
00:17:50,730 --> 00:17:51,890
You're cute.
403
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:54,460
You remind me of my favorite stepdad.
404
00:17:54,530 --> 00:17:57,330
I... Oh... Well, you
know, I get that a lot.
405
00:17:57,340 --> 00:18:00,100
- Um, Uribe.
- Hmm?
406
00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:01,640
Pedro?
407
00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:03,200
Um...
408
00:18:03,270 --> 00:18:06,210
How likely is this to
become a group-sex situation?
409
00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:07,810
No, because, in the fog of war,
410
00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:09,410
sometimes things get a little chaotic,
411
00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:11,610
so I think we should
set some ground rules.
412
00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:12,880
Oye.
413
00:18:12,950 --> 00:18:14,920
I am no cigua, okay?
414
00:18:14,980 --> 00:18:17,890
If my dick is inside of a woman,
415
00:18:17,950 --> 00:18:20,790
whatever you do to me is not gay,
416
00:18:20,860 --> 00:18:22,190
so do a lot of it.
417
00:18:24,660 --> 00:18:26,130
A lot!
418
00:18:26,190 --> 00:18:27,360
A lot.
419
00:18:29,260 --> 00:18:30,170
Hey.
420
00:18:30,230 --> 00:18:32,330
Let's make things interesting.
421
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:33,540
Oh.
422
00:18:35,340 --> 00:18:36,810
Mmm.
423
00:18:36,870 --> 00:18:38,870
They're already pretty fascinating.
424
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:43,410
- Who is it?
- Brockmire.
425
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,150
I thought you were with Uribe.
426
00:18:48,190 --> 00:18:51,670
I was, I was, but I think I realized
427
00:18:51,710 --> 00:18:53,050
that I don't want to
be that guy anymore.
428
00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:55,020
Maybe I never was
that guy, but I just...
429
00:18:55,090 --> 00:18:56,720
I wanted to be because
then that would mean
430
00:18:56,790 --> 00:18:59,290
I couldn't be hurt again or something.
431
00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:00,730
I just...
432
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,260
I know that I like you.
433
00:19:02,330 --> 00:19:05,230
I like that you see the world
for the shit pile that it is,
434
00:19:05,300 --> 00:19:07,270
but that just makes you shovel faster.
435
00:19:07,900 --> 00:19:09,900
Most of all, I like that we seem to have
436
00:19:09,970 --> 00:19:12,770
the same exact level of
functional alcoholism.
437
00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:14,740
I don't want to be
getting gross and high
438
00:19:14,810 --> 00:19:16,040
with a bunch of strangers.
439
00:19:16,110 --> 00:19:19,050
I want to... I want to be here with you.
440
00:19:19,110 --> 00:19:20,680
Are you high right now?
441
00:19:20,750 --> 00:19:22,650
A little bit, yes. I-I'm not prude.
442
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,320
I had a couple toots. Come on.
443
00:19:24,390 --> 00:19:27,690
You know, the thing is, is you and me...
444
00:19:27,730 --> 00:19:28,660
It's just not a good idea.
445
00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:31,090
This is a terrible idea, but...
446
00:19:32,490 --> 00:19:35,760
I looked into your eyes for
a long time the other night.
447
00:19:35,830 --> 00:19:38,300
I know that you're feeling
the same things I am.
448
00:19:38,370 --> 00:19:39,370
I know it.
449
00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:41,870
Baseball makes me want to exist.
450
00:19:41,940 --> 00:19:46,160
You... You make me want to live.
451
00:19:47,010 --> 00:19:50,850
God... damn it.
452
00:20:14,790 --> 00:20:15,730
As many of you know,
453
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:17,980
it was our plan to
encourage a bankruptcy
454
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:19,640
of the Morristown baseball team
455
00:20:19,710 --> 00:20:21,450
so that we could demolish the stadium
456
00:20:21,510 --> 00:20:23,710
and build a long-needed wastewater pit.
457
00:20:23,780 --> 00:20:26,020
Well, unfortunately,
attendance is much higher
458
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:27,470
than, uh, our models predicted,
459
00:20:27,530 --> 00:20:29,520
so, uh, it is my position
460
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:32,940
that we take a much
more... aggressive stance.
461
00:20:32,980 --> 00:20:35,360
Um, all in favor?
462
00:20:35,430 --> 00:20:36,960
Okay, good.
463
00:20:37,020 --> 00:20:41,220
Last but certainly not least.
464
00:20:44,700 --> 00:20:46,970
Sweet, sweet Deb.
465
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:48,910
My favorite memories
of you will always be
466
00:20:48,970 --> 00:20:51,320
from the 2013 retreat in Mazatlán.
467
00:20:51,380 --> 00:20:52,780
You were a diamond
468
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:54,780
that glittered for us all that weekend,
469
00:20:54,850 --> 00:20:56,350
and call me sentimental,
470
00:20:56,410 --> 00:20:58,860
but I'd like to see you
glitter one more time.
471
00:20:58,930 --> 00:21:02,590
So, Deb, do you remember...
472
00:21:02,650 --> 00:21:04,220
the Margarita Men?
473
00:21:07,260 --> 00:21:09,830
Look at her face! We
love you, Deborah Gortley!
474
00:21:09,900 --> 00:21:11,360
Whoo!
475
00:21:11,430 --> 00:21:13,100
Mazatlán! Mazatlán!
476
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:14,270
Mazatlán! Mazatlán!
477
00:21:14,330 --> 00:21:15,830
This is Pennsylvania Shale right here!
478
00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:17,600
This is why we do what we do!
479
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:20,310
Look at her! Look at here!
480
00:21:22,750 --> 00:21:26,820
Synced and corrected by Dragoniod for
- www.addic7ed.com -
31981
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