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[Applause]
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get out of here Molly who's Mike yo man
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that's not fair
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[Music]
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[Applause]
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we're brothers we're happy and we're
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singing and were colored all right cut
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and print
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beautiful guys dynomite
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[Music]
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these infomercials are the biggest
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reports in the world yes I'd like to
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order two tubes of prawn Jonah Hill
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lipstick what are you doing I'm ordering
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two tubes of plums on a hill lipstick
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they charge you $10 for some lipstick
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that only costs 42 cents so so that's
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highway robbery nobody should be able to
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make that much money
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except me damn I wish I had something to
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sell on an infomercial
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oh hey and they do besides I want to
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have lips like Whitney Houston wouldn't
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you like that no I'm not kissing
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anything that touches Bobby Brown's
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tongue besides I like your lips the way
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they are don't mind me you guys just
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keep doing what you do what do you see
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Jack tonight I went to a club my boys
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Bentley and Kevin right Kevin got in
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then Bentley got in and then I didn't
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get in and do you know why because
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you're a loser
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no because the bouncer said he didn't
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like my hair what you laughing at at
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least my hair is real Souls mine what
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real horse a real go
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you bad girl all right Marlon I'm gonna
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help you fix your hair come on hey stop
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being so rough think you are - okay
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Shawn take your time
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yes I'd like to order two tubes of plums
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on a hill lipstick that'll be in my visa
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the name is Shawn Williams oh the Pops
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and infomercial is the perfect plan see
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all we need to do is get a celebrity
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then they go on TV and they make us rich
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all I need is $600 $600 man have you
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lost your mind
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for $600 I can get your mom and
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operation put those breasts light up
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where I can see them our show on public
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access TV public excess you mean like
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that Nikki Gemma yeah and they got some
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good shows on there that naked talk-show
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host Robin Bird she's one sassy little
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mama how I like to put some hot sauce on
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her so what do you say pop huh will you
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give me the money ask me for my wooden
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arm so you can get that quicker now pops
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you don't have a wooden arm
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brains ain't your strong suit is it boy
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Marlon now if you late again I hope you
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like that boy in Singapore
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[Applause]
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what look like dr. Amelia's dad on your
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head
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see pops that's what I'm talking about
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that's his new perm 8c after you got
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thrown out of club last night he went
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home mixed up some of that stuff and bam
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it was move over little bitches there's
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a new perfect town I'll tell you pop
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before I knew it I was getting into
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clubs I was casting checks catching cabs
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pop so just like white dude they taste
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mr. white boy going on to the bank get
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me alone top tell you this stuff works
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it works so good I got my boys Bentley
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and Kevin some and look at them over
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there pretty girl look like - macaroni
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see pops if we work for the Lion King
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make millions millions millions let me
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get my checkbook thanks pop you won't be
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sorry what are y'all talking about
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Marlon we're gonna sell your maid on TV
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are we gonna be on TV yes hello now all
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we need is like a catchy name something
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that everybody's gonna remember how
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about The Clapper know what about hair
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oh no no
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hey Rhea comin
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it's master date I got it he'll come to
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judge judge judge you better get out of
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hair with those stupid suggestions I got
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it what what about goop please Latoya is
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just an infomercial well you mean to
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Grady you pose butt naked with a snake
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don't cry Lisa don't worry we'll get a
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celebrity watch I'm not crying because
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of that I'm crying because this stuff is
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burning my eyes Sean it stinks yeah well
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they can't smell it over the TV
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[Applause]
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don't worry we're not gonna shoot you
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doing what
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hi oh hey look man I don't do pornos
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anymore nothing like that didn't want to
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tell you what we want hell no man I was
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minding my own business coming out of my
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apartment on my way to the dinners
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nothing I knew this street jumps out of
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the bushes put this pillowcase over my
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head and let stop dragging me down 9th
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Avenue buy my legs well it wasn't easy
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he's heavier than he looks and you
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scream like a girl piss on me man it was
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Mississippi 1961 all over man I'll never
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forget that night running naked through
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the swamps the sound of them dogs
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yapping at my heels lynch mob no man and
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its girlfriend and our ugly mother well
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this is not like that mr. Morris yeah
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we're producing an infomercial there's a
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mushroom yeah yeah and we're desperate I
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mean every celebrity worker damn turned
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us down that's why we want you means is
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you are first twice mr. Morris no he
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wasn't Sean Ben Vereen without now look
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mr. Morris this is what we want you to
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do grab some of this smile into the
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camera and say goop that is has been
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very very good to me
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I'm sorry man I don't do commercials
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well what if we let you sing opera I'm
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sorry man I have integrity what are you
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talking about integrity
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you played sporty James on hunter I
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don't care I'm not doing it great now
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we'll book that a cable station and we
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have no celebrity well I guess we could
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always use him Oh is he still here whoa
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been here all morning why don't you just
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leave oh look guys we're desperate okay
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nobody else is gonna do this we might as
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well use them I'm a kid all right you
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come out now Wow this goop heritance
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sure makes my scalp ting
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[Applause]
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Gary Coleman Lisa please Gary Coleman
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he's sensitive
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hey Gary bag sweetheart little guy hey
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we've been doing a lot of thinking and
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we decided we want you to be our man we
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want you to endorse our good excellent
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count me in I don't work cheap I know I
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know and your parents get 90% of your
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check right well actually I cut him back
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to 85
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[Applause]
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[Music]
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good one more rehearsal wonderful boys
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wonderful that was so wonderful what my
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boy yeah you got the 600 bucks there you
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go
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sits on this sweet downbeat uh-huh I
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happen to be the executive producer of
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this little production and look over
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there is Gary Coleman uh-huh excuse me
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excuse me
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where are the dressing rooms utility
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closet in the back just don't pee in the
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sink
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my man the lights keep trying to goof
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right out of my hair so do me a favor
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when we start filming could you just
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like you know dim the lights down a
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little he wants us to change the lights
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[Laughter]
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that's a good idea yeah what's in this
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stuff it really smells ha ha sorry daddy
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ancient African secret let's just
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rehearse it again one more time hey Gary
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man I'm nervous hey don't worry this is
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television if you make a mistake you can
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always do it again well this year 600
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bucks this is live TV pal
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[Music]
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[Applause]
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and today I'm wearing a sensational new
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product called goop candy but don't just
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take my word for it cuz that'll be
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plenty no ignant take a look at your
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monitor oh whoa why not mr. bouncer man
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because of your funk up here shall I do
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your real please
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[Music]
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[Applause]
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[Music]
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using just a smidgen of that no Martha
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you got to get your own
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[Applause]
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come on
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those results are what
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amazing but ladies and gentlemen goop
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yeah it is can do it more watch your
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monitor this was me movies I couldn't
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walk and they really let you play
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basketball
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[Applause]
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[Music]
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thanks to heavy
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[Applause]
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[Music]
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[Applause]
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and now ladies and gentlemen the moment
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we all been waiting for
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you're about to meet the man who
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invented goop had his hand venta and GED
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recipient himself give it up for mr.
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Marlon run yeah
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[Applause]
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[Music]
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[Applause]
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GUP and insurance a sensational new
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product isn't it it sure is Shawn but
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don't just take my word for it cuz
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that'll be Plano ignant celebrated actor
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yes we do Shawn stop screen stage
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television and high score every arcade
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in town please give a warm up for mr.
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Gary Coleman well I know a huge
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superstar like yourself is very busy but
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what brings you here today Gary
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Coleman's well fellas I just had to come
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by today and tell all my fans about how
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did coop here it is
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change your life Gary Coleman's dude I
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couldn't get a job I'm the star of my
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own action-adventure picture the man
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with a tiny gun take a look
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[Music]
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it is cold
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Gary cool
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[Music]
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is that amazing you see the power to
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goop not only does it revive your hair
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but it revives your come we must be out
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of our mind cuz today we're selling goop
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hair is for the low low price of just
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discount just for today only
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well Gary that's none of your business
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but since I loved your movie i'ma take
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your advice we're gonna cut these prices
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from $60 a charm to the low low price up
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[Applause]
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[Laughter]
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[Applause]
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ladies and gentlemen is one what the
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hell is in this stuff
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the lights are starting to burn nothing
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it's just Vaseline bacon fat cradle
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[Applause]
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Oh give me someone or something come on
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about lunch huh
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[Applause]
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[Music]
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[Applause]
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[Applause]
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[Applause]
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[Laughter]
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[Applause]
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[Music]
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oh look at your poor patches little
275
00:20:41,020 --> 00:20:43,620
blistered heads that must hurt so much
276
00:20:43,620 --> 00:20:48,220
not as much as when pop beat us can't
277
00:20:48,220 --> 00:20:52,240
believe you beat a Burning Man just
278
00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:56,710
don't seem right Gary Coleman I think
279
00:20:56,710 --> 00:20:58,750
you killed him I had to put that fire
280
00:20:58,750 --> 00:21:01,900
out somehow yeah but you didn't have to
281
00:21:01,900 --> 00:21:05,400
stomp on him hey kids
282
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:09,070
breaks over until I'm paid back you two
283
00:21:09,070 --> 00:21:11,260
gonna clean that damn kitchen every
284
00:21:11,260 --> 00:21:15,280
weekend for the next 20 years hey we
285
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:17,650
only owe you $600 yeah how much you pay
286
00:21:17,650 --> 00:21:19,990
nothin el a nickel more than I'm paying
287
00:21:19,990 --> 00:21:26,770
hop scene and he's happy right now we
288
00:21:26,770 --> 00:21:28,720
only lost five hundred and forty dollars
289
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:30,910
and one cent how'd that happen
290
00:21:30,910 --> 00:21:33,250
someone actually bought a job what
291
00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:34,870
stupid ass fool was dumb enough the
292
00:21:34,870 --> 00:21:37,950
badge are that stuff
293
00:21:42,530 --> 00:22:06,020
I didn't think I had it in me but after
294
00:22:06,020 --> 00:22:09,260
a humbling personal tragedy I did change
295
00:22:09,260 --> 00:22:11,930
my mind I guess I was just born to star
296
00:22:11,930 --> 00:22:14,720
in Richard Pryor the day my crack pipe
297
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:33,920
exploded get out of here
298
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:37,450
Marlon Michaels
299
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:53,520
yo man that's not fair we're brothers
300
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:56,260
we're happy and were singing and we're
301
00:22:56,260 --> 00:22:57,250
colored
302
00:22:57,250 --> 00:00:00,000
[Music]
31943
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