All language subtitles for Mozart in the Jungle S02E02 ENGLISH

- I can't see anything.
What time is it?

- Shh.
- What is this?

- It's my face,
get off of it.

- Shut up, they're coming.
Get down.

- You know, I realized

I've never even been
in your apartment before.

Oh, no, I tipped the guy
in the wrong currency.

Surprise!

- Welcome home.

- To your apartment.

- I'm gonna warn you,
I smell insane.

- Oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God.

Oh, my God,
you do smell horrible.

- Wow, this is
a great apartment.

- Thanks, yeah,
they all live here.

- Good to see you.
- I'm Bradford.

- I'm Bradford, I'm Bradford.

- This is Shariza.

- Shariza, how are ya?

- Ugh, I've been dreaming

of that shower for six weeks.

Mmm.

- Whoa.

- Oh, yeah, we brought back,
like, a ton of instruments.

- Since when do you
wear perfume?

- Since Kuala Lumpur.

And Bradford likes it.

- Hmm.

- Actually got you one.

- Maybe Alex will like it.

- Don't you mean Rodrigo?

Hailey, listen,

I almost fell
in an active volcano twice.

I ate jellyfish

every day for breakfast,
lunch, and dinner.

And if I learned anything,

I learned that
there's no time for bullshit.

So you gonna tell me

what's going on in there
or am I gonna have to do it?

- Maybe you should do it.

- Okay, fine.

One, you need to get Rodrigo
a new assistant.

- I've been trying,
but he rejects everyone.

- He does or you do?

Two, you need to figure out

what it is that
you're doing with Alex.

- Oh, he's such
a good guy, though.

- My dad's a good guy.

Actually, my dad's a dick.
Three--

- What does jellyfish
taste like?

- It's chewy.

Three...

I don't remember
what three is.

- I'm so happy you're home.

- Now this one is my baby.

- Oh, wow,
that's pretty neat.

- Tap it as softly
as you can.

- Okay.

- Nothing resonates
like rhinoceros foreskin.

- Ew, are you for real?

- Nah, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

But it is some kind of

a skin from a carcass.

You'll never believe

how I got it
through customs.

So I don't know if you heard,

but Elizabeth invited me
to move in with you guys.

- Oh, cool, man.
- Mm-hmm.

- Hailey let me keep
my toothbrush here.

So you should consider
yourself pretty lucky.

- What kind of a toothbrush
do you use?

- What?
Just like a standard one.

- Get an electric one, okay?

I promise,
it's a whole new level.

Also, get a Waterpik too,

if you really wanna
blow your mouth's mind.

Oh, excuse me,

try to always cup it
from the bottom.

Like--'cause it can't support it

with just the three horns.

**

- Guess what I've
been trying to say is,

you can choose
what you wanna see.

It's up to you.

Like, right now,
what do you see?

I see Mike

making our guests
really uncomfortable.

- I see an energetic
young man

who is full of potential

who lives and breathes music
every day.

- Maestro.
- Yeah, but I'll take it.

- Last night's performance

was not bad.

But it was alsonot not bad.

Understand what I'm saying?

Like this,
we're going sideways.

You cannot fly to the moon
like this.

No, no, okay?

No more distractions.

Not here.

I expect you all
to leave your life

in the dressing rooms
together with your jeans

and come here

and do it as if it was
your final performance.

And next time

that I walk into this building,

and I see a lawyer

lingering around
on the stage, okay?

The rehearsal is cancelled.

Just like that.

And the next time
that I walk in

and I step onto the podium

and I have to wait for you guys

to finish up or wrapping
your chittie-chatties, okay?

Rehearsal is cancelled!

And the next time

that the phone rings

during a performance,

Puta madre.

I want you to answer
the phone and say,

"Hello, yes, hi.

"Yes, it's me, yes.
You know what?

"I'm in the middle
of a performance,

"and I'm packing up
my things,

"because you know what?
I'm leaving the orchestra.

"Because I'm not a member
of this orchestra anymore

"because I'm not
welcome anymore,

because the rehearsal
is cancelled!"

And the softball,
that's it.

It's done.
No more softball.

- What?
- The season is over.

Yes, it's over.
- He can't do that.

- Let's begin.

- Maestro, I need your help
with something.

- Hey.
- It's important.

- And what is that, Gloria?

- I just got off the phone
with the esteemed donor

who so graciously
lent us your apartment.

- Uh-huh.
- And whose daughter,

Sarabelle, you just fired.

He's threatening to evict you.

- Why?

- You tell me.

- No, no, no, no.

You--Gloria, I was told
to make myself at home.

- I have seen thee and her,

and I do adore thee.

- You're on very thin ice.

And I suggest
you get off of it

before it breaks
and we both fall through.

This ice feels
very good to me.

And now I cannot hear you.

Because I'm listening to

Igor Fyodorovich Stravinsky.

Which, by the way, I'm sure
he used to love ice skating.

Russians, you know?

Pavel!

- Ms. Windsor?

Is there a problem
with the floor?

- Oh, no, no.

It's absolutely
perfect, Pavel.

- Hm.
- Thank you.

- Well?

- Well, what?

- Winslow, for God's sake, man.

A penny for
your fucking thoughts.

- It's a work in progress.
What do you want me to say?

- Decades, I've been working
on this bloody thing.

I mean, come on,
a work in progress?

- A work in progress,
that's good news.

I envy you.

It's all still yours.

No one's seen it,
no one's heard it.

It's your own
private symphony.

And now you can get
funky with it.

- Funky my ass!

You don't understand!

- What don't I understand?

- I've made arrangements.

- What kind of arrangements?

- This is set
to premiere in Belarus

in two month's time.

Oh.

Oh, um...

Congratulations.

That's terrible news.

Um, but, uh,

but you can cancel it.

Just call in sick.

- Don't be ridiculous.

It's months from now.

"Call in sick."

- It's derivative.

- I beg your pardon?

Derivative?

You just said
it had potential!

- Yes, but--but...

Sound familiar?

- It should do.
I wrote the fucking thing.

- Oh, well, I hadn't realized
that Gustav Mahler

had a New York bachelor pad.

And this...

It's Debussy.

This is what happens
with all conductors.

You've devoted your life
to interpreting

the most beautiful music
ever created.

It's only natural
that what goes in must come out.

- All right, that's enough,
okay, come on.

On your way, on your way.
- Oh, ow, aah!

- Come on, come on.
- Oh, I'm ticklish.

Ow! I bruise easy.

- Get your stuff, come on.

Out!

Right, come on.

Come on.

It pains me to have to
eject you from my home,

but I must.

You are a pianist
of genius,

but now you're old
and negative.

And your ears, they're like
two little ancient bat caves.

So do me a favor.

Put on your rubber gloves

and go fuck yourself.

- So where is he?

- Mr. Biben had every wish to
be here, but couldn't rearrange

a last-minute meeting
in Moscow.

He asked me to come
to represent him

and to apologize.

I'm sorry.

- This is very unusual,

but knowing Biben,
hardly surprising.

- Shall I begin?

"Gloria, sorry I'm not here.

You look great, by the way."

- How would he know that?

- Sensing you would ask
that question, he says...

Because you always look great.

- Mm.
- Now down to business.

I pride myself
in being a dedicated donor

in support of
the New York Symphony.

However, I and my
close colleagues on the board

will be delaying our donations

until the next
financial quarter."

- That'll really fuck over
our cash flow, Sharon.

Biben, you're a shrewd man.

Any players committee audits
will show our balance low.

It'll only help our leverage
in the negotiations.

That's very clever.

- Hailey.

- Hi, you said that
you wanted to see me?

- Yes, come on in.

Edward--I mean, Sharon

was just leaving.

- Am I in some sort of
trouble or something?

- No, on the contrary.

- Is that me?

- Yeah, isn't it fantastic?

- We're making an attempt
to connect

to a younger demographic.

To them, the symphony is just

blue hair and cough drops
and mothballs.

- She gets it.

- Our focus groups
are really flipping

over this direction.
- Oh.

- Even makes me want to
twerp out an Instapic.

I don't--is that right?

- Hailey, we'd love
to use this image

as part of our campaign

with your permission,
of course.

- What's the matter?
Cat got?

- What?
- Cat got?

- Excuse me?

- Cat got your tongue?

- Oh, uh, well, no.

It's just that I'm only a sub,

so I don't really--

- You are part of the team.

- Okay.

Sure.
- We'll get this over to

the office and let them know
they can start printing it up.

- Cool.

- There is one more thing.

I'd love for you to come to

the Young Donors event
tomorrow night.

It's a good time.

And we want some young,
fresh blood there with us.

- Thank you so much, um,

but I actually
have plans tomorrow night,

so I...

So I can cancel them.

- That would be appreciated.

Hailey Rutledge,
welcome to the team.

- Maestro.

- Oh, "Hai Lai."

Hey, thank you so much.

- Yes, you're welcome.

- I can hardly--awake.

This fucking divorce,
you know?

- Yeah, yeah.

- I have so many
errands for you.

- Um, well, I think I found you
a really good assistant.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

- Mm.

Okay, well, um,
that's great.

Excellent.

Let's schedule
the interview

for after
the Latino Americano tour.

- Yeah, I would prefer
to do that now.

- Now is not a good time
for me to change.

- It's a good time for me.

- Okay, when can she begin?

- He can actually
begin immediately,

because he is here.

Mike.

- Maestro, it is an honor.

- What?

- I am Michael.
Mike.

- Mike?
- Mike.

- Mike?

- I think it's gonna be
a really great fit.

- No, my jeans
are a great fit.

What makes you think

that you can replace
"Hai Lai" Rutledge?

- Well, Hailey explained
everything to me in detail,

and I'm feeling confident,

and sure of myself, and--

- I see, I see.

You know, "Hai Lai" has always

been looking out for me,
you know?

She's kept my life in tune.

If it was, for example,

digging up an old score
that I didn't find,

or, for example,
explaining a joke

that I didn't
understand very well.

Tell me, "Michele,"

are you capable
of making a mate

half as good as this one?

- You're right, Maestro.

No one can replace Hailey,

but, for what it's worth,

that mate is my work.

- So, Einojuhani Rautavaara

and Jean Sibelius are born
in the same country, right?

- Finland.

- That was easy.

Okay, Toscanini,

before he became
a conductor,

what instrument
did he play?

- The cello.

- Did you tell him that?
- No.

- No? You sure?
- Yeah, I'm positive.

- Okay,

which composer was driven
into a monastic lifestyle

after the Pope denied his lover
permission to marry him?

Whoa!

Ay,"Hai Lai."

Ooh, how impressive.

- Thank you.

- Well, if there's nothing else,

then I'll be going.

- Yes, "Hai Lai,"
I think there is nothing else

except to say...thank you.

- Thank you.

Bye, Mike.

- Bye, "Hai Lai."

"Michele."

- I felt so bad
for Christophe.

- What do you suppose
crawled up Rodrigo's ass?

- That is no way
to refer to our Maestro.

- And no more softball?

What the shit is that?

- You okay?
- Yeah.

- Make sure
you get all this down.

- Easy, Bob.
Hailey isn't a spy.

She's here taking minutes

'cause I asked for the help.

- Just so you all know,

I no longer work
for the Maestro.

- Are you ready to order?

- Oh, yeah.

Make it two large cheese,
one ultimate veggie.

- I'm allergic
to bell pepper.

- I will want
a few pieces of bell pepper.

- Or we'll add a small bell--
- No, I want a large.

- What is the point of agree--
- Okay, everybody,

I'm calling
this meeting to order.

We heard back
from management.

They rejected our terms.

They're sticking
to the rollbacks.

- We asked for too much.
Oh, I'm not surprised.

- How can they keep
crying "poor"

when we've sold out every show
since Rodrigo's been here?

- Well, they say subscriptions
have dropped off.

- Let's face it.
Our audience is dying out.

We should just
take what we can get.

- Man, and I thought

those hockey players
were a bunch of wimps.

- No one here is a wimp.

- They just spat in your face,

and you're listing
the reasons why.

- This is a negotiation,

and I still believe we can
work with Gloria Windsor.

- What if you can't?

What if she's not
even in control?

There are seven members

of the board's
contract committee.

Three of them were
brought on by Edward Biben.

Can you work with him?

He carves up companies
for a living,

and you think he gives a shit
about your mortgage, Warren?

Or your health care,
Dee Dee?

I'll tell you what
he gives a shit about:

his image.

So I recommend we find some dirt
and fling it in the press.

- We're the
New York Symphony.

We have to retain our dignity.

- You may retain
your dignity,

but you're not gonna retain
your pension plan.

- No one wants a strike.

- No one wants to get
run over by a truck,

but you're about to be.

- Nina, may I talk with you
for a moment in private?

- Sure.

Listen, Nina,
I really appreciate you

coming in here
with so much confidence,

but we don't want to
alienate the players

who are a little
more gun-shy.

- Absolutely.

I work for you
and the players, Cynthia.

I'm just giving you
the benefit of my experience.

- Good, thank you.

- If I could
just say one thing...

I don't know whether
it's the cello or the cheekbones

or what, but I think you're

one of the sexiest women
I've met

in a long time,
and it's making it

incredibly hard
for me to concentrate.

- Okay, look, I--

- Oh, Jesus,
are you blushing?

God, could you
get more hot?

Just got really hungry.

- Oh, throw him
under the bus.

- You heard what she said
the other day?

- Everyone having a good time?

I hope you're enjoying
the party.

If not, you can lie.

I...I don't open my doors
very often,

but this Young Donors evening
is special for me.

Ten years from now,

the New York Symphony
turns 150 years old,

which is just about as old
as most of our subscribers.

I want you to take a quick look
around the room.

You all have something in common
with one another.

Can you guess what
it is--besides money?

You love music.

The music needs you,
young donors

to ensure that it lives
into the future.

Let's imagine together

what the future
might look like.

Come.

We have a surprise.

A new symphony hall.

Modern, acoustically perfect.

A message
to the classical music world

that the New York Symphony is
the future.

And now,
the man who will take us there,

your Maestro,
Rodrigo DeSouza.

- Thank you, thank you.

Thank you.
Thank you, Gloria.

Thank you very much.

I like it.
It's very nice, Gloria.

I think it's gonna
be brilliant.

I want to say something
very serious now,

and for me
to be able to do so,

I have to say it
not in the English language.

Enough.
Thank you.

Gracias, gracias, gracias.

Thank you very much.

I hope that somebody
understood it,

because--yeah, I hope.

- Do you speak Spanish?

- No, not really,

but I think I understood
the sentiment.

- Yeah, same.

- Me llamo
Erik Winklestrauss.

- Hailey Rutledge.
- I had to, I--

- Ah, I see you've met.

Hailey's a very
talented young lady

who plays the oboe
beautifully.

Erik is a very
generous donor

who plays the stock market
beautifully.

I'm sorry to interrupt.

- Excuse me.
- Oh, okay.

That seems so exhausting.

- Psst!
- I think this guy's

trying to get
your attention.

- Oh, sorry--one sec.
- Yeah.

- I'm so sorry, I didn't know
you were gonna be here.

- No, it's okay.
- You look great.

In your food memo,

you said that
seafood was okay,

but this has cilantro
and avocado.

- I think the donors
are feeling very futuristic.

- Don't you?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- And--oh, the next one
I want you to meet--

Mrs. Barbara Silverman.
She's quite--

- Oh, no.
I met everybody--I don't--

- Hey, Gloria.

This building tastes
like crap, I got to tell you.

- I'll tell the architect.

- Do that.

Oh, and one quick tip.

A beautiful thing
about the future,

no one really knows
how it'll turn out.

- Wow.
- I better go talk to him.

Good night, sweetie.

- Good night, Gloria.
Good night.

Why don't you talk to me
anymore, eh, Sharon?

Nothing.
Not even "hello."

Nothing, nothing, Sharon.
That's it.

- They were smashed.

- They weren't murdered.

- Like a Taco Tuesday?

- No, no, no.

Maestro!

Let me buy you a drink

at the open bar.

But not as your assistant.

As--as your friend.

And as the second chair
substitute oboist.

- No, "Hai Lai," no.

This is not Acapulco, okay?

- Okay.

- Some of us have to go
to practice,

and some of us don't.

- I guess he's a busy man.

- I'm so sorry it took so long.
- What?

- But I think you're
gonna be pretty happy

with what I picked out for you.

- I'm not hungry, "Michele."
I'm not hungry.

Okay, let's go--come on.
Grab my scarf.

- Okay.
- Okay?

Do you...

do you always
pedal so fast?

If I lose you,
text me a rendezvous point.

- What is your name?

- I'll tell you later.

- Can I say something to you

out of, like,
love and devotion?

- Yeah.

- You're a woman, man.

What?

I mean, you're the same,

but you're, like, better.

I don't know, I want to be
like you when I grow up.

How are things
with Bradford?

- He's awesome.

- Lizzie.
- Hailey.

- Lizzie.
- What?

What do you want me to say?

We read short stories
to each other

while we waited for our train
to get fixed, you know?

I got sick in front of him
and he didn't care.

He's into me.

- I'm so, so sorry

for this whole mess.

- What whole mess?
- This one!

Aah!

- You did it!
- Don't, no!

Stop.

- Aah!

Okay, yeah.

Oh.
Mmm.

You can take it off,
just take it off.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Okay.
Oh, Rodrigo!

Go, oh, go!