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1
00:00:06,412 --> 00:00:08,483
(band playing
"Mary Had a Little Lamb")
2
00:00:12,424 --> 00:00:15,197
♪ Mary's rolling in her grave ♪
3
00:00:15,264 --> 00:00:17,736
♪ I'd like to join her now. ♪
4
00:00:17,802 --> 00:00:19,138
(door opens)
5
00:00:19,205 --> 00:00:21,209
I come bearing
an important communiqué.
6
00:00:21,309 --> 00:00:23,814
It's from the marching band
director at Springfield High.
7
00:00:23,881 --> 00:00:26,987
Oh, did he get his swollen head
stuck in a French horn?
8
00:00:27,054 --> 00:00:29,058
Uh, there's no mention of that.
9
00:00:29,158 --> 00:00:31,630
But it seems one of the band's
most important musicians
10
00:00:31,730 --> 00:00:34,970
injured his middle toe doing
a high step in double-time.
11
00:00:35,037 --> 00:00:38,109
- (all gasp)
- That's footwork suicide!
12
00:00:38,176 --> 00:00:39,780
They need
a replacement sax player,
13
00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:42,117
and they've requested...
Lisa Simpson.
14
00:00:42,218 --> 00:00:44,656
Me, in the high school band?
15
00:00:44,723 --> 00:00:47,461
Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!
16
00:00:47,562 --> 00:00:50,400
One yes would suffice.
Pack your sax, Lisa,
17
00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:52,371
you're moving up to high school.
18
00:00:52,404 --> 00:00:53,808
Three days a week after school,
19
00:00:53,874 --> 00:00:55,645
otherwise you're still
in second grade.
20
00:00:58,450 --> 00:01:00,153
I finally get
to play with people
21
00:01:00,220 --> 00:01:03,093
who respect music theory
and tradition.
22
00:01:03,159 --> 00:01:04,830
Teenagers!
23
00:01:05,665 --> 00:01:08,370
Class, we have
a new baritone sax player.
24
00:01:08,504 --> 00:01:10,107
Direct from
Springfield Elementary.
25
00:01:10,207 --> 00:01:11,877
(coughing):
Largo's losers.
26
00:01:11,977 --> 00:01:13,714
Hi. Hello.
27
00:01:13,781 --> 00:01:15,117
Now, if you'll turn to page 12
28
00:01:15,217 --> 00:01:17,087
in your marching band songbook.
29
00:01:17,154 --> 00:01:19,826
The theme to Hawaii Five-O?!
Wow!
30
00:01:19,893 --> 00:01:22,364
Yeah, Mr. Orlando is cool.
31
00:01:22,431 --> 00:01:25,738
We do 50-year-old songs
instead of 100-year-old songs.
32
00:01:26,674 --> 00:01:29,445
(band playing
Hawaii Five-O theme song)
33
00:01:33,153 --> 00:01:36,392
Shauna Chalmers,
thank you for joining us.
34
00:01:36,459 --> 00:01:38,396
I'm gonna call you James Corden,
35
00:01:38,496 --> 00:01:40,501
because you're
a late, late show.
36
00:01:40,602 --> 00:01:42,237
(laughter)
37
00:01:42,338 --> 00:01:44,475
He totally relates to us
on our level.
38
00:01:44,576 --> 00:01:45,612
Mm.
39
00:01:45,712 --> 00:01:47,549
- Burnout.
- Waste case.
40
00:01:47,616 --> 00:01:48,985
Third-chair slacker.
41
00:01:49,051 --> 00:01:50,922
Shut up, woodwinds.
42
00:01:51,022 --> 00:01:52,324
Okay, from the top.
43
00:01:52,391 --> 00:01:55,263
(band playing
Hawaii Five-O theme song)
44
00:01:58,638 --> 00:01:59,706
Okay, cut.
45
00:01:59,806 --> 00:02:02,111
Apparently Supertramp
isn't giving us the rights
46
00:02:02,177 --> 00:02:04,015
to "Goodbye Stranger."
47
00:02:04,081 --> 00:02:05,852
(students protesting)
48
00:02:05,918 --> 00:02:08,524
No...
49
00:02:09,693 --> 00:02:12,632
Shauna! I didn't know
you played drums.
50
00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:16,306
And I didn't know some tiny band
dork was gonna talk to me.
51
00:02:16,372 --> 00:02:18,544
It's me, Lisa Simpson?
52
00:02:18,611 --> 00:02:20,080
You babysat for us.
53
00:02:20,180 --> 00:02:21,750
Last Saturday night.
54
00:02:21,884 --> 00:02:23,219
TikTok is dumb.
55
00:02:23,286 --> 00:02:26,059
Well, anyway,
your drumming's really good.
56
00:02:26,125 --> 00:02:27,461
Wow.
57
00:02:27,595 --> 00:02:30,334
Dear diary,
today I got a compliment
58
00:02:30,434 --> 00:02:33,974
from a rando about something
I don't care about.
59
00:02:34,041 --> 00:02:36,112
(gasps)
I have a diary, too!
60
00:02:36,179 --> 00:02:38,517
(exhales)
Oh.
61
00:02:38,617 --> 00:02:39,686
(moans softly)
62
00:02:40,722 --> 00:02:44,095
People were playing eighth notes
like it was nothing.
63
00:02:44,195 --> 00:02:46,633
Band kids are the coolest kids
in high school.
64
00:02:46,734 --> 00:02:49,606
No fair.
Lisa gets to go to high school?
65
00:02:49,706 --> 00:02:51,342
I was supposed
to be King of the Burnouts
66
00:02:51,409 --> 00:02:52,779
before she even got there.
67
00:02:52,846 --> 00:02:55,317
Well, son, I guess Lisa's
just unusually bright.
68
00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:58,791
She gets it from me.
(shouts)
69
00:02:58,858 --> 00:03:00,260
Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
70
00:03:00,327 --> 00:03:02,297
I left all my sheet music
at school.
71
00:03:02,364 --> 00:03:04,669
I have to go get it.
72
00:03:06,439 --> 00:03:08,410
Ah...
73
00:03:13,554 --> 00:03:14,856
Hmm?
74
00:03:14,923 --> 00:03:17,394
(drums playing)
75
00:03:18,798 --> 00:03:20,868
- Shauna!
- I'm Shauna!
76
00:03:20,935 --> 00:03:23,006
Did you stay late to practice?
77
00:03:23,073 --> 00:03:24,943
No way. As if.
78
00:03:25,010 --> 00:03:27,281
You're practicing. Being stupid.
79
00:03:27,381 --> 00:03:29,920
You don't need to.
You're great at it.
80
00:03:29,986 --> 00:03:31,957
I'm jealous.
81
00:03:33,093 --> 00:03:35,932
Shauna, we share
a passion for music.
82
00:03:35,998 --> 00:03:38,169
(gasps)
Do you want to jam?
83
00:03:38,269 --> 00:03:40,340
Yeah, jam this stick in my eye
84
00:03:40,373 --> 00:03:42,679
if this conversation
goes on another second.
85
00:03:42,746 --> 00:03:43,681
Gah.
86
00:03:43,814 --> 00:03:46,085
Fine! But I'm not afraid
to admit that music
87
00:03:46,152 --> 00:03:48,591
means something to me,
unlike you.
88
00:03:48,691 --> 00:03:51,530
(imitating Shauna):
You're Shauna.
89
00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:54,903
Hey!
90
00:03:54,936 --> 00:03:56,907
I'm sorry if
I was mean back there...
91
00:03:57,007 --> 00:03:58,376
little weirdo.
92
00:03:58,476 --> 00:04:00,013
I really don't know
how to take that.
93
00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:02,519
Well, maybe we can talk about it
tomorrow at my house...
94
00:04:02,585 --> 00:04:04,890
when you come over to jam.
95
00:04:04,923 --> 00:04:06,159
(gasps)
I'd love to!
96
00:04:06,259 --> 00:04:07,762
Where do you live?
97
00:04:07,829 --> 00:04:09,165
Okay, stalker.
98
00:04:09,298 --> 00:04:11,002
(groans)
99
00:04:14,743 --> 00:04:16,513
Oh, hello, Lisa Simpson.
100
00:04:16,580 --> 00:04:18,483
And how are you
this fine evening?
101
00:04:18,551 --> 00:04:22,191
Dad, stop interrogating people,
you fascist!
102
00:04:22,257 --> 00:04:23,527
Hmm.
103
00:04:24,328 --> 00:04:27,434
Wow, you're really rude
to your dad.
104
00:04:27,502 --> 00:04:30,240
Thanks. That's actually
the reason I got into drums.
105
00:04:30,307 --> 00:04:32,579
To drive him crazy.
106
00:04:32,645 --> 00:04:33,781
But then I...
107
00:04:33,848 --> 00:04:36,018
Turns out,
I really like playing music.
108
00:04:36,085 --> 00:04:38,089
It takes the suck out of things.
109
00:04:38,156 --> 00:04:40,293
It does take
the suck out of things.
110
00:04:40,393 --> 00:04:42,832
(gasps)
I just said a light swear.
111
00:04:42,932 --> 00:04:45,237
- (both laugh)
- (knocking)
112
00:04:45,303 --> 00:04:47,341
Well, sounds like you
girls are having fun.
113
00:04:47,407 --> 00:04:48,844
How would you know?!
114
00:04:48,911 --> 00:04:50,548
(sighs)
Yes. Well, uh,
115
00:04:50,615 --> 00:04:52,519
dinner's almost ready, dear.
116
00:04:52,619 --> 00:04:54,656
Lisa and I are eating
at the mall.
117
00:04:54,723 --> 00:04:57,394
I've been hand-rolling
gnocchi all day.
118
00:04:57,494 --> 00:04:59,365
Stop touching my food.
119
00:04:59,431 --> 00:05:01,402
Food-toucher.
120
00:05:03,106 --> 00:05:05,511
Look at all this science stuff.
121
00:05:05,578 --> 00:05:07,181
Are you building a Frankenstein?
122
00:05:07,247 --> 00:05:08,818
'Cause if you are,
you have to tell me.
123
00:05:08,884 --> 00:05:11,523
Ah, yes.
Uh, you're here to pick up Lisa.
124
00:05:11,590 --> 00:05:14,863
She's at the mall with my,
uh, challenging daughter.
125
00:05:14,930 --> 00:05:18,403
Eh, tell me something, Simpson,
do you like beer?
126
00:05:18,469 --> 00:05:20,975
Hmm, I never thought about it.
127
00:05:21,075 --> 00:05:23,079
(glugging)
128
00:05:24,481 --> 00:05:27,054
Well, I've been brewing
my own Belgian ale
129
00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:29,225
in the style
of the Trappist monks.
130
00:05:29,291 --> 00:05:31,195
It's a,
it's a stupid hobby really.
131
00:05:31,262 --> 00:05:32,966
(laughs)
That is stupid.
132
00:05:33,032 --> 00:05:34,468
I buy my beer in a bar.
133
00:05:34,536 --> 00:05:36,138
I-I'm sure you do.
134
00:05:36,239 --> 00:05:38,042
But, uh, just take a sip.
135
00:05:41,382 --> 00:05:43,621
(choir singing)
136
00:05:45,625 --> 00:05:48,363
This is the most delicious drink
137
00:05:48,463 --> 00:05:51,269
I ever drank
that could get me drunk.
138
00:05:51,335 --> 00:05:52,572
You made this?
139
00:05:52,639 --> 00:05:54,509
Yes, I did. If you'd like,
140
00:05:54,609 --> 00:05:58,016
I could show you how to brew it
using these simple ingredients.
141
00:05:58,082 --> 00:06:00,888
Beer has ingredients?
142
00:06:00,988 --> 00:06:02,559
What the hell?
143
00:06:03,794 --> 00:06:05,063
(glugging)
144
00:06:05,130 --> 00:06:06,934
You have so much to teach me.
145
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,938
(burps)
146
00:06:10,508 --> 00:06:12,912
Okay, worked there,
got fired there.
147
00:06:13,012 --> 00:06:15,751
Got unfairly accused
of shoplifting there.
148
00:06:15,818 --> 00:06:18,991
Oh, shoplifted
a ton of stuff there.
149
00:06:19,091 --> 00:06:21,095
Wow, you've really lived.
150
00:06:21,195 --> 00:06:22,899
In this end of the mall, sure.
151
00:06:22,999 --> 00:06:24,435
Cool!
152
00:06:24,502 --> 00:06:26,072
A selfie machine.
153
00:06:26,172 --> 00:06:28,744
(camera clicking)
154
00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:32,619
Ooh, A Prom Before Dying.
155
00:06:32,685 --> 00:06:35,056
I read that book.
It's about two teenagers
156
00:06:35,123 --> 00:06:39,131
who fall in love despite
only having 45 minutes to live.
157
00:06:39,198 --> 00:06:40,701
Sounds stupid.
158
00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:43,406
Let's go see it. It's on me.
159
00:06:43,540 --> 00:06:46,312
LISA: Shauna's so great.
She's like a fun, older friend
160
00:06:46,412 --> 00:06:48,784
who's mean to me for no reason.
161
00:06:48,817 --> 00:06:51,289
But somehow I really want
to hang out with her.
162
00:06:51,422 --> 00:06:54,028
What do you call that?
163
00:06:54,128 --> 00:06:56,232
Um, she seems young for a movie
164
00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:58,403
with adult themes.
165
00:06:58,469 --> 00:07:00,240
You have to let her in.
166
00:07:00,340 --> 00:07:01,843
I'm her big sister.
167
00:07:01,977 --> 00:07:04,849
LISA: (gasps)
That's it-- big sister!
168
00:07:04,983 --> 00:07:08,389
Now let's go watch teenage
sickos make out, then croak...
169
00:07:08,456 --> 00:07:10,962
- little sis.
- (giggles)
170
00:07:17,140 --> 00:07:18,944
(smooth jazz music playing)
171
00:07:36,613 --> 00:07:39,218
♪ Shauna, two, three, four ♪
172
00:07:39,318 --> 00:07:41,355
♪ Is my new three, four ♪
173
00:07:41,422 --> 00:07:44,696
♪ Super awesome,
three, four, sister! ♪
174
00:07:48,704 --> 00:07:51,175
You've made a very fussy enemy.
175
00:07:51,242 --> 00:07:53,046
Well... later, losers!
176
00:07:53,146 --> 00:07:56,252
That's what Shauna and I
call people who aren't us.
177
00:07:56,319 --> 00:07:58,489
Isn't that cute?
178
00:07:58,557 --> 00:07:59,726
HOMER:
Hmm.
179
00:07:59,793 --> 00:08:02,699
Hmm, I'm not sure
Shauna's the best influence.
180
00:08:02,799 --> 00:08:05,370
She always seems
like she's so over it.
181
00:08:05,437 --> 00:08:07,775
Even when "it" is
something nice.
182
00:08:07,842 --> 00:08:10,748
Yep, teens are garbage.
(chuckles)
183
00:08:10,815 --> 00:08:12,652
Anyway, I'm off to 'Mers.
184
00:08:12,719 --> 00:08:14,421
Don't you mean Moe's?
185
00:08:14,522 --> 00:08:16,125
No, Chalmers.
186
00:08:16,225 --> 00:08:19,566
Now there's a different
sad, old man getting me drunk.
187
00:08:20,534 --> 00:08:23,306
♪ Before we commence
a new batch ♪
188
00:08:23,406 --> 00:08:25,578
♪ Let us chug deep the last ♪
189
00:08:25,644 --> 00:08:28,951
♪ Of the old. ♪
190
00:08:32,525 --> 00:08:34,763
(harmonic burping)
191
00:08:39,138 --> 00:08:40,440
Oh, man.
192
00:08:40,541 --> 00:08:42,779
Art thou as hammered as I?
193
00:08:42,845 --> 00:08:45,785
Yes, verily, but, Homer,
Trappist brewing
194
00:08:45,851 --> 00:08:48,757
is about more
than just drinking the beer.
195
00:08:48,857 --> 00:08:51,563
It's about the traditions
of the Belgian monks
196
00:08:51,630 --> 00:08:54,468
who created this divine quaff.
197
00:08:54,569 --> 00:08:57,107
(festive music playing)
198
00:09:02,518 --> 00:09:03,887
(retching)
199
00:09:03,954 --> 00:09:06,258
See, that's what I like
about home brewing.
200
00:09:06,358 --> 00:09:09,566
You're there when it enters
the world, so full of promise.
201
00:09:09,666 --> 00:09:12,538
And you know that if you pour
your heart and hard work
202
00:09:12,605 --> 00:09:15,343
into it,
it won't tell you it's pregnant
203
00:09:15,410 --> 00:09:17,080
just to mess with you.
204
00:09:18,216 --> 00:09:20,453
Simpson!
205
00:09:20,554 --> 00:09:22,491
- Hmm?
- I think it's time for you
206
00:09:22,592 --> 00:09:25,296
to brew this next batch
on your own.
207
00:09:25,363 --> 00:09:26,967
You think I'm ready?
208
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:30,875
Oh, I sense
great drunkenness in you.
209
00:09:30,941 --> 00:09:32,110
♪ ♪
210
00:09:32,210 --> 00:09:36,252
Mm. I didn't think
he'd transform on page one,
211
00:09:36,318 --> 00:09:38,724
but I'm not complaining.
212
00:09:38,757 --> 00:09:41,095
(playing DJ Kool's
"Let Me Clear My Throat")
213
00:09:41,195 --> 00:09:43,199
My horror-romance!
214
00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:53,352
Messing with parents
is the best.
215
00:09:57,762 --> 00:10:00,099
Wow, Shauna, you're so good!
216
00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:03,607
I've been thinking, you should
try out for lead drummer.
217
00:10:03,740 --> 00:10:05,443
They would never give that
to me.
218
00:10:05,511 --> 00:10:08,349
Even if I wanted it,
which I don't.
219
00:10:08,449 --> 00:10:10,386
Why won't you shut up
about this?
220
00:10:10,487 --> 00:10:12,658
Mmm, these Cheetos are cheesy.
221
00:10:12,758 --> 00:10:14,829
Shauna, listen,
the last thing I'd ever do
222
00:10:14,896 --> 00:10:18,269
is imply that you care,
but I think you're a star.
223
00:10:18,369 --> 00:10:20,774
And stars are meant to shine.
224
00:10:20,808 --> 00:10:22,745
So if you won't do this
for yourself,
225
00:10:22,812 --> 00:10:24,549
will you do it for me?
226
00:10:24,649 --> 00:10:26,853
Uh...
227
00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:29,191
I think I have
cheese dust in my eyes.
228
00:10:29,291 --> 00:10:31,095
Fine, I'll do the audition.
229
00:10:31,162 --> 00:10:33,065
But only to shut you up.
230
00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:34,034
Yes!
231
00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:36,472
Mind if I celebrate
with a sax solo?
232
00:10:36,506 --> 00:10:38,644
Oh, that'd be great.
233
00:10:38,710 --> 00:10:41,282
(chuckles)
Sarcasm noted.
234
00:10:41,348 --> 00:10:44,154
♪ ♪
235
00:10:50,701 --> 00:10:52,304
Huzzah, big brother!
236
00:10:52,404 --> 00:10:54,041
Thank you, petit frère.
237
00:10:54,107 --> 00:10:55,911
(both giggling)
238
00:10:55,945 --> 00:10:59,151
Next audition...
Shauna Chalmers?!
239
00:10:59,251 --> 00:11:00,554
I am so out of here.
240
00:11:00,621 --> 00:11:01,890
Mm.
241
00:11:04,796 --> 00:11:07,334
(inhales, exhales)
242
00:11:21,328 --> 00:11:23,432
(crying)
243
00:11:26,540 --> 00:11:29,144
(crowd cheering)
244
00:11:29,211 --> 00:11:30,748
(giggling)
245
00:11:33,419 --> 00:11:34,856
♪ ♪
246
00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:42,337
ALL:
Shauna!
247
00:11:42,470 --> 00:11:44,308
(cheering)
248
00:11:44,408 --> 00:11:46,412
Shauna, that was great!
249
00:11:46,478 --> 00:11:49,519
(whispers): I won't tell anyone
how hard you practiced.
250
00:11:49,619 --> 00:11:50,788
Like I care.
251
00:11:50,854 --> 00:11:52,057
(whispers):
Thanks.
252
00:11:52,157 --> 00:11:55,163
Um, Shauna, I'm sorry
to bother you,
253
00:11:55,230 --> 00:11:57,400
but I'm Trevor McBride,
star quarterback.
254
00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:59,505
Cool bio, Jock Cousteau.
255
00:11:59,539 --> 00:12:00,774
What do you want?
256
00:12:00,908 --> 00:12:02,712
Well, um,
I couldn't help but noticing
257
00:12:02,778 --> 00:12:05,316
that you blew my mind tonight
with your drumming.
258
00:12:05,416 --> 00:12:07,655
I'm having a pool party
at my house tomorrow.
259
00:12:07,788 --> 00:12:09,324
- Do you want to come?
- Mm.
260
00:12:09,424 --> 00:12:11,630
Of course, your band friends
are invited, too.
261
00:12:11,763 --> 00:12:13,834
Sure. I guess.
262
00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:15,971
"Sure" and "I guess"?
263
00:12:16,071 --> 00:12:17,340
Crushing it!
264
00:12:17,407 --> 00:12:18,744
I don't know. I've never been
265
00:12:18,810 --> 00:12:20,648
to a teen party before.
266
00:12:20,748 --> 00:12:22,785
Don't worry, you'll be
with your big sis.
267
00:12:22,852 --> 00:12:25,490
Whatevs, it's all good, NBD.
268
00:12:25,557 --> 00:12:28,530
What am I saying?
It's a huge BD!
269
00:12:28,630 --> 00:12:30,701
- (giggles)
- Oh, I forgot to mention.
270
00:12:30,768 --> 00:12:32,905
Everyone has to bring
a beer to get in.
271
00:12:33,005 --> 00:12:36,178
Huh, I think I have
a hookup for some brews.
272
00:12:36,278 --> 00:12:38,784
Hmm. Warm caramel color,
273
00:12:38,884 --> 00:12:40,754
the foam is
immaculately bubbled.
274
00:12:40,821 --> 00:12:43,292
Beautifully brewed,
Brother Homer.
275
00:12:43,392 --> 00:12:44,461
♪ ♪
276
00:12:44,529 --> 00:12:46,465
Today, you have truly become
277
00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:49,004
my padre from another madre.
278
00:12:49,071 --> 00:12:50,340
(chuckles)
279
00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:54,381
I wish only to be worthy
of our humble labels.
280
00:12:55,450 --> 00:12:57,688
- (both chuckle)
- SHAUNA: Daddy?
281
00:12:57,755 --> 00:12:59,559
I know I've been kind of
a B-word lately.
282
00:12:59,626 --> 00:13:02,598
That stands for Brenda.
She's this total bitch I know.
283
00:13:02,698 --> 00:13:04,869
So Lisa and I want
to apologize by, like,
284
00:13:04,936 --> 00:13:06,773
putting on a little show
for you.
285
00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:09,478
Shauna, that is
so thoughtful and-and...
286
00:13:09,579 --> 00:13:11,081
Just shut up
and come in the house!
287
00:13:11,181 --> 00:13:13,620
You're so embarrassing!
Both of you!
288
00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:15,891
BOTH:
Sorry, Shauna.
289
00:13:24,742 --> 00:13:25,678
(tires screech)
290
00:13:25,744 --> 00:13:27,515
Awesome! This beer is exactly
291
00:13:27,581 --> 00:13:29,318
where the chick
said it would be.
292
00:13:29,384 --> 00:13:30,721
Her name is Shauna!
293
00:13:30,854 --> 00:13:32,424
Learn three things
about her that don't have
294
00:13:32,490 --> 00:13:34,996
to do with her looks,
or you're off the team!
295
00:13:35,063 --> 00:13:37,267
(playing jazz music)
296
00:13:40,306 --> 00:13:43,613
Wonderful. Shauna and I
are finally connecting.
297
00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:45,651
We're just like
the Gilmore Girls.
298
00:13:45,751 --> 00:13:47,955
(chuckles)
And I'm Lorelai.
299
00:13:48,022 --> 00:13:51,095
(whispers):
I'm so happy for you.
300
00:13:52,865 --> 00:13:54,134
(clicks)
301
00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:58,643
♪ ♪
302
00:13:58,710 --> 00:14:00,714
What?
303
00:14:00,781 --> 00:14:02,852
- Bravissima! Yes!
- Yeah! (whooping)
304
00:14:02,918 --> 00:14:05,156
- Wonderful, wonderful!
- Yeah! All right!
305
00:14:11,669 --> 00:14:14,041
Welcome to the pool party, ladies.
306
00:14:14,107 --> 00:14:15,577
We've got pizza, burgers--
307
00:14:15,644 --> 00:14:17,247
possible and Impossible--
308
00:14:17,313 --> 00:14:19,852
and hella soda,
courtesy of my parents.
309
00:14:19,919 --> 00:14:21,823
BOTH:
Love you, T-Man!
310
00:14:21,923 --> 00:14:23,927
(lively chatter)
311
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:26,031
Oh, my God!
312
00:14:26,098 --> 00:14:27,902
It's a little girl
with a saxophone.
313
00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:29,505
So cute.
314
00:14:29,572 --> 00:14:31,509
Play us a song, Saxophone Girl.
315
00:14:31,609 --> 00:14:33,245
Okay, sure.
316
00:14:33,345 --> 00:14:35,016
♪ ♪
317
00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:36,886
I don't care what people say.
318
00:14:36,986 --> 00:14:39,892
I just think music is one
of the coolest sounds out there.
319
00:14:39,992 --> 00:14:41,596
Want to kiss about it?
320
00:14:41,629 --> 00:14:43,466
Duh.
321
00:14:44,836 --> 00:14:46,338
Trev,
322
00:14:46,371 --> 00:14:48,577
Mom and I are going to one
of those fun escape rooms
323
00:14:48,643 --> 00:14:49,912
in another city.
324
00:14:49,979 --> 00:14:51,482
Is it okay with you
that we won't
325
00:14:51,549 --> 00:14:52,952
be back for seven hours?
326
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:55,089
Oh, don't worry
about them, Brian.
327
00:14:55,189 --> 00:14:56,458
It's almost nightfall.
328
00:14:56,526 --> 00:14:59,197
That's when teen pizza parties
generally break up.
329
00:14:59,297 --> 00:15:00,734
Bye.
330
00:15:00,834 --> 00:15:02,003
(engine starts)
331
00:15:02,070 --> 00:15:03,707
Well, party's over.
332
00:15:03,807 --> 00:15:06,412
Now let's make
two separate recycling piles.
333
00:15:06,513 --> 00:15:08,282
JOHNNY JOE:
The beer...
334
00:15:08,382 --> 00:15:09,952
is here!
335
00:15:10,052 --> 00:15:12,257
(all cheering, clamoring)
336
00:15:13,927 --> 00:15:15,964
(electronic dance music playing)
337
00:15:22,110 --> 00:15:24,481
Uh, this is like
one of those TV shows
338
00:15:24,582 --> 00:15:26,619
I'm not supposed to watch.
339
00:15:29,992 --> 00:15:31,996
- Our beer, someone stole it!
- (Homer gasps)
340
00:15:32,096 --> 00:15:34,902
But I brewed that
with the malt of my loins.
341
00:15:35,002 --> 00:15:36,706
(crying)
342
00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:38,643
Oh, God,
please don't let Shauna have
343
00:15:38,710 --> 00:15:39,979
anything to do with this.
344
00:15:40,046 --> 00:15:41,616
I'm gonna check
her social media.
345
00:15:41,716 --> 00:15:43,452
She lets you follow her?
346
00:15:43,553 --> 00:15:44,589
Of course not.
347
00:15:44,722 --> 00:15:46,458
I follow her as "Rodrigo,"
348
00:15:46,559 --> 00:15:49,164
a goth teen from Argentina.
349
00:15:49,231 --> 00:15:50,133
Mm.
350
00:15:50,233 --> 00:15:52,571
Oh, dear God,
that so-called pool party
351
00:15:52,638 --> 00:15:55,176
is a bona fide rager!
352
00:15:55,276 --> 00:15:56,345
(gasps)
353
00:15:56,411 --> 00:15:59,886
Our homebrewed beer is
inebriating these minors.
354
00:15:59,986 --> 00:16:01,523
We have to go save them.
355
00:16:01,556 --> 00:16:04,161
The beers I mean,
from those awful teens!
356
00:16:04,261 --> 00:16:07,400
Excuse me, have you seen Shauna?
357
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,004
Big sister?
358
00:16:09,104 --> 00:16:11,375
Cool, it's a metal beer bong.
359
00:16:11,475 --> 00:16:13,647
Thanks.
360
00:16:13,713 --> 00:16:15,082
(gasps)
361
00:16:15,884 --> 00:16:17,453
(glugging)
362
00:16:17,555 --> 00:16:19,424
(wails)
363
00:16:19,491 --> 00:16:21,028
Hello, emergency?
364
00:16:21,128 --> 00:16:23,499
I'd like to report
the abandonment of a minor.
365
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,403
The minor is me!
(sobbing)
366
00:16:25,504 --> 00:16:28,375
Hurry, this party is
out of control!
367
00:16:28,475 --> 00:16:29,645
What are you doing?
368
00:16:29,712 --> 00:16:32,818
Did you just narc out the party,
you party narc?
369
00:16:32,918 --> 00:16:34,120
Where were you?!
370
00:16:34,187 --> 00:16:36,291
I was with Trevor, getting some.
371
00:16:36,358 --> 00:16:38,797
- Some what?
- Some smooches.
372
00:16:38,864 --> 00:16:40,601
- Duh!
- Your turn.
373
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,505
You give me that!
374
00:16:42,571 --> 00:16:44,441
Oh, no, this is terrible.
375
00:16:44,509 --> 00:16:47,080
Homer, we need to get
every one of those bottles,
376
00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:49,585
or my superintending days
are over.
377
00:16:49,619 --> 00:16:51,623
(Homer whimpering)
378
00:16:54,929 --> 00:16:56,833
You abandoned me.
379
00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:58,469
And I was really scared.
380
00:16:58,570 --> 00:17:02,010
I thought big sisters were
supposed to take care of you.
381
00:17:02,076 --> 00:17:04,214
And I thought little sisters
weren't supposed
382
00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:06,653
to be stupid, snitchy babies.
383
00:17:06,753 --> 00:17:09,391
I am not a stupid, snitchy baby!
384
00:17:09,491 --> 00:17:11,829
(crying)
385
00:17:11,896 --> 00:17:13,198
- (lively chatter)
- ♪ ♪
386
00:17:13,265 --> 00:17:14,936
It's worse than we thought, Chief.
387
00:17:15,036 --> 00:17:16,606
This party's not just epic.
388
00:17:16,673 --> 00:17:18,175
It's legendary.
389
00:17:18,309 --> 00:17:21,481
Now, who could have given
these teens so much beer?
390
00:17:21,549 --> 00:17:23,753
Uh, good evening,
Your Eminences.
391
00:17:23,820 --> 00:17:25,156
May God be with you.
392
00:17:25,223 --> 00:17:27,160
Chief, those are no monks!
393
00:17:27,227 --> 00:17:29,799
- (Wiggum gasps)
- (both clamoring)
394
00:17:29,865 --> 00:17:31,703
You two are under arrest
395
00:17:31,803 --> 00:17:33,405
for subjecting these kids
396
00:17:33,472 --> 00:17:35,844
to the best night
of their lives.
397
00:17:35,978 --> 00:17:38,082
Well, there goes my career
and my pension.
398
00:17:38,148 --> 00:17:40,754
Oh, and also
I'm going to prison.
399
00:17:40,854 --> 00:17:43,092
(laughing)
400
00:17:44,294 --> 00:17:46,298
- (Homer whimpers)
- LOU: Chief?
401
00:17:46,365 --> 00:17:48,269
I just breathalyzed
all these teens.
402
00:17:48,369 --> 00:17:50,607
They're all blowing 0.0.
403
00:17:50,707 --> 00:17:52,945
Dear God, they're already dead!
404
00:17:52,978 --> 00:17:55,784
This beer contains no alcohol.
405
00:17:57,153 --> 00:17:59,124
Simpson, you-you glorious idiot.
406
00:17:59,224 --> 00:18:00,961
You forgot to add the yeast.
407
00:18:01,028 --> 00:18:02,196
What forgot the who?
408
00:18:02,297 --> 00:18:04,802
No fermentation means
no intoxication.
409
00:18:04,869 --> 00:18:06,873
Mwah!
Your incompetence
410
00:18:06,973 --> 00:18:08,977
just saved our cowls.
411
00:18:09,077 --> 00:18:11,649
Attention teens,
you are not drunk.
412
00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:13,352
Repeat-- not drunk.
413
00:18:13,419 --> 00:18:16,024
Please examine
your outrageous behavior
414
00:18:16,091 --> 00:18:18,730
through a lens
of newfound self-awareness.
415
00:18:18,830 --> 00:18:21,468
Please use this experience
416
00:18:21,536 --> 00:18:24,207
to better understand
the pressures you're all under,
417
00:18:24,274 --> 00:18:27,046
and have more compassion
for your friends,
418
00:18:27,146 --> 00:18:29,752
teachers, parents,
and most of all,
419
00:18:29,852 --> 00:18:32,056
yourselves. Over.
420
00:18:32,123 --> 00:18:34,895
You bungling brewmasters
are free to go.
421
00:18:34,962 --> 00:18:36,298
My career.
422
00:18:36,431 --> 00:18:38,770
It's saved.
(laughing)
423
00:18:38,870 --> 00:18:40,006
Yes.
424
00:18:40,106 --> 00:18:43,379
Whoa, Rodrigo
from Instagram is crying
425
00:18:43,513 --> 00:18:45,282
at our party!
426
00:18:45,349 --> 00:18:47,588
Let's comfort him.
427
00:18:47,655 --> 00:18:48,990
(crying)
428
00:18:49,057 --> 00:18:50,894
All right, yeah...
(chuckles)
429
00:18:50,961 --> 00:18:53,365
Yes, all right.
430
00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:56,506
Sweetie, what are you doing
at a teenager party?
431
00:18:56,572 --> 00:18:58,042
Shauna brought me!
432
00:18:58,108 --> 00:19:00,714
But I never want
to see her stupid face again!
433
00:19:00,781 --> 00:19:02,150
(crying)
434
00:19:02,216 --> 00:19:03,687
- Dad...
- Mm.
435
00:19:03,753 --> 00:19:05,289
MARGE:
Oh, Lisa.
436
00:19:05,389 --> 00:19:07,193
It's been a week now.
437
00:19:07,226 --> 00:19:09,230
Are you still upset
about Shauna?
438
00:19:09,297 --> 00:19:12,070
I really did think of her
like a sister.
439
00:19:12,103 --> 00:19:15,142
Well, you still have
your real sister.
440
00:19:16,244 --> 00:19:18,482
- Hmm?
- (Maggie giggling)
441
00:19:21,121 --> 00:19:23,058
Well, your father and I
are headed out.
442
00:19:23,158 --> 00:19:25,129
We're gonna spend
some Mommy-Daddy time.
443
00:19:25,196 --> 00:19:27,367
Marge, did you get
the hotel room?
444
00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:30,707
Because I got the chants
and the incense.
445
00:19:30,774 --> 00:19:32,711
Ave Maria.
446
00:19:32,778 --> 00:19:34,047
(doorbell rings)
447
00:19:34,147 --> 00:19:36,084
That must be the babysitter.
448
00:19:36,151 --> 00:19:37,654
Hmm?
449
00:19:38,656 --> 00:19:40,359
Oh, hello.
450
00:19:40,393 --> 00:19:42,330
You look... well.
451
00:19:42,397 --> 00:19:44,167
Thanks.
I thought I might see you here
452
00:19:44,234 --> 00:19:46,806
at the house you live in.
453
00:19:48,275 --> 00:19:49,745
What's going on here?
454
00:19:49,812 --> 00:19:52,083
Well, whatever it is,
the awkwardness is...
455
00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:53,653
(smooches)
...delicious.
456
00:19:53,753 --> 00:19:55,891
(laughs)
457
00:19:55,991 --> 00:19:58,262
So, how's the marching band?
458
00:19:58,362 --> 00:20:00,199
I can't believe
they made me quit
459
00:20:00,266 --> 00:20:01,903
when that kid's toe healed.
460
00:20:01,969 --> 00:20:03,840
I hate Western medicine.
461
00:20:03,907 --> 00:20:05,376
Oh, I quit, too.
462
00:20:05,443 --> 00:20:08,282
I started a punk band, where I'm
the drummer and the singer.
463
00:20:08,382 --> 00:20:10,219
Just like Phil Collins!
464
00:20:10,286 --> 00:20:11,689
Okay, got to go.
465
00:20:11,756 --> 00:20:14,060
We're called
Brenda and the B-words.
466
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:15,897
I never would have done it
without all that
467
00:20:15,964 --> 00:20:17,968
stupid confidence you gave me.
468
00:20:18,102 --> 00:20:20,406
Wow, that's actually
really nice to hear.
469
00:20:20,473 --> 00:20:22,511
Shut up, it wasn't meant to be.
470
00:20:22,611 --> 00:20:24,280
Anyway, I brought my drums.
471
00:20:24,314 --> 00:20:25,784
You want to jam?
472
00:20:25,851 --> 00:20:27,153
I'd like that.
473
00:20:27,220 --> 00:20:29,124
Oh, dear God, no.
474
00:20:29,190 --> 00:20:30,894
♪ ♪
475
00:20:34,769 --> 00:20:36,773
Aah!
(grunts)
476
00:20:49,732 --> 00:20:52,303
("You Can Count on Me"
by Sammy Davis playing)
477
00:20:54,007 --> 00:20:56,813
♪ If you get in trouble ♪
478
00:20:56,879 --> 00:20:59,284
♪ Bring it home to me ♪
479
00:20:59,350 --> 00:21:02,423
♪ Whether I am near you ♪
480
00:21:02,490 --> 00:21:06,231
♪ Or across the sea ♪
481
00:21:06,331 --> 00:21:09,605
♪ I will think
of something to do ♪
482
00:21:09,705 --> 00:21:12,276
♪ I'll be on the lookout
for you ♪
483
00:21:12,376 --> 00:21:14,047
♪ And I'll find you ♪
484
00:21:14,147 --> 00:21:16,853
♪ You can count on me ♪
485
00:21:16,919 --> 00:21:20,760
♪ You can count on,
you can count on ♪
486
00:21:20,827 --> 00:21:23,031
♪ You can count on ♪
487
00:21:23,098 --> 00:21:24,467
♪ Count on me. ♪
488
00:21:24,535 --> 00:21:26,037
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
489
00:21:26,138 --> 00:21:27,373
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490
00:21:27,473 --> 00:21:28,910
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.
491
00:21:29,945 --> 00:21:31,616
Shh!
492
00:21:33,686 --> 00:21:35,924
Captioned by
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