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My man's a taxi driver
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My man's a taxi driver
3
00:00:19,190 --> 00:00:22,068
I'd like to take a ride with you
4
00:00:23,069 --> 00:00:25,905
Don't wanna be tied to you
5
00:00:26,906 --> 00:00:30,785
I promise I'll try my very best
6
00:00:30,868 --> 00:00:34,288
To please ya, darlin'
7
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You know that fair's fair with me
8
00:00:38,334 --> 00:00:40,962
There's things you can share with me
9
00:00:41,045 --> 00:00:44,549
So take my tip and we could skip
10
00:00:44,757 --> 00:00:47,510
Formalities
11
00:00:47,635 --> 00:00:53,099
Won't you be my cruisin' Casanova?
12
00:00:53,224 --> 00:00:57,186
Click your fingers and I'll be over there
13
00:00:57,270 --> 00:00:59,438
Smoothin' your hair
14
00:00:59,522 --> 00:01:02,650
Soothin' your cares away
15
00:01:02,775 --> 00:01:08,197
There's no refusin' Casanova
16
00:01:08,322 --> 00:01:12,618
Stop the clock and workin' overtime
17
00:01:12,702 --> 00:01:16,163
Cruisin' Casanova, be mine
18
00:01:16,247 --> 00:01:19,875
My man's a taxi driver
19
00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:23,087
My man's a taxi driver
20
00:01:35,558 --> 00:01:37,810
Every major international city
21
00:01:37,893 --> 00:01:42,356
has that most popular
means of transport, the taxi.
22
00:01:42,523 --> 00:01:44,817
That unique brand of conveyance
23
00:01:44,900 --> 00:01:47,987
which combines
efficiency with individuality.
24
00:01:48,154 --> 00:01:51,741
Perhaps most popular
for the personal service it provides.
25
00:01:55,745 --> 00:01:59,582
Enthusiastic, hard-working,
with never a moment's rest,
26
00:01:59,665 --> 00:02:02,585
probably the taxi driver's
most lovable attribute
27
00:02:02,668 --> 00:02:06,464
is the warm welcome
he is always eager to extend
28
00:02:06,505 --> 00:02:08,633
to foreign visitors.
29
00:02:10,051 --> 00:02:11,469
The moment you hail a taxi,
30
00:02:11,677 --> 00:02:15,139
you can be sure
of being greeted by a friendly smile,
31
00:02:15,222 --> 00:02:17,099
a concern for your well-being,
32
00:02:17,183 --> 00:02:21,312
and someone at the wheel
always ready to lend a helping hand.
33
00:02:38,996 --> 00:02:42,083
There are, at present,
literally millions of taxis
34
00:02:42,166 --> 00:02:45,419
operating throughout the world
on a 24-hour basis,
35
00:02:47,505 --> 00:02:51,425
ensuring that at any time,
day or night, within seconds,
36
00:02:51,509 --> 00:02:55,805
you can be speeding happily away
to the destination of your choice.
37
00:02:58,683 --> 00:03:01,477
Renowned for their
total lack of prejudice,
38
00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:03,479
a taxi will stop for anybody,
39
00:03:03,562 --> 00:03:06,816
irrespective of colour,
class, or creed.
40
00:03:13,072 --> 00:03:14,532
Adored by the public
41
00:03:14,615 --> 00:03:17,702
for their whimsical charm
and delightful disposition,
42
00:03:17,785 --> 00:03:20,746
perhaps, more than any other form
of public transport,
43
00:03:20,830 --> 00:03:25,584
the taxi driver holds a unique place
in the hearts of the people.
44
00:03:25,710 --> 00:03:29,255
Not least his fellow road users,
who appreciate to the full
45
00:03:29,422 --> 00:03:31,465
that quiet, courteous patience,
46
00:03:31,549 --> 00:03:33,759
that affable, friendly manner,
47
00:03:33,884 --> 00:03:36,512
that consideration
for his fellow motorists,
48
00:03:36,679 --> 00:03:38,889
with whom he is
always ready to exchange
49
00:03:38,973 --> 00:03:42,184
a friendly wave
and some merry little quip.
50
00:03:44,770 --> 00:03:47,773
But, possibly more than
anything else to his credit,
51
00:03:47,857 --> 00:03:51,610
the taxi driver bears the distinction
of being a driver of knowledge,
52
00:03:51,777 --> 00:03:53,904
experience and efficiency,
53
00:03:53,988 --> 00:03:55,990
reassuring all who drive with him
54
00:03:56,157 --> 00:03:59,493
that the taxi is not only
the safest vehicle on the road,
55
00:03:59,618 --> 00:04:01,078
but holds the proud record
56
00:04:01,203 --> 00:04:04,373
for being involved in the
least number of accidents.
57
00:04:11,881 --> 00:04:14,800
Without a doubt, we, the public,
58
00:04:14,925 --> 00:04:18,179
owe much to these
gallant knights of the road,
59
00:04:18,304 --> 00:04:20,639
of whom it can truly be said,
60
00:04:20,806 --> 00:04:23,225
"Everything we feel for them,
61
00:04:23,684 --> 00:04:25,936
"they feel for us."
62
00:04:43,496 --> 00:04:46,373
That'll be seventy-five, guv.
63
00:04:46,457 --> 00:04:47,500
Thank you.
64
00:04:48,959 --> 00:04:50,377
Thank you.
65
00:04:51,837 --> 00:04:53,672
Thank you very much.
66
00:04:54,423 --> 00:04:55,674
Well, you try smiling
67
00:04:55,758 --> 00:04:58,361
when you've been lumbered with
a miserable, tight-fisted git like him,
68
00:04:58,385 --> 00:05:00,155
after you've fought through
all the bleedin' traffic
69
00:05:00,179 --> 00:05:03,516
and had him moanin' on at you,
like it was all your fault.
70
00:05:07,436 --> 00:05:08,813
Sorry about that.
71
00:05:08,938 --> 00:05:11,440
Been a bit of a bad day,
know what I mean?
72
00:05:11,565 --> 00:05:13,400
By the way, my name's Joe.
73
00:05:13,567 --> 00:05:16,779
Well, with a name like that, I had to
go in the cabbing business, didn't I?
74
00:05:16,904 --> 00:05:19,698
Been at it a year or so now.
Got me own cab.
75
00:05:19,782 --> 00:05:22,827
Well, almost.
Soon as I've finished paying for it.
76
00:05:22,993 --> 00:05:24,620
Yeah, it's not such a bad job, really.
77
00:05:24,703 --> 00:05:27,540
Hard work, but then
so's anything these days.
78
00:05:27,665 --> 00:05:28,999
Not that I mind.
79
00:05:29,124 --> 00:05:31,877
Got me health and strength,
know what I mean?
80
00:05:31,961 --> 00:05:34,463
Mind you, I'll be a lot happier
when I get me own place.
81
00:05:34,588 --> 00:05:36,674
Trouble is, you see,
I live at home.
82
00:05:36,799 --> 00:05:39,176
You need a bit of peace and quiet
after doing this job.
83
00:05:39,260 --> 00:05:42,680
And livin' at home?
No joke, I can tell ya.
84
00:05:42,763 --> 00:05:44,890
Oh, yeah, makes
a great start to the day.
85
00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:48,978
Oh, come on, Mum,
I'm late as it is.
86
00:05:49,061 --> 00:05:51,981
-Well, it's your own fault.
87
00:05:52,064 --> 00:05:54,733
Comin' in here last night,
pissed as a newt,
88
00:05:54,859 --> 00:05:57,778
crashin' about all over the place
and wakin' me up.
89
00:05:57,987 --> 00:06:00,573
Lay off, Ma, will ya?
Do us a favour.
90
00:06:01,073 --> 00:06:03,701
You're gettin' more like your father
every day, you are.
91
00:06:03,784 --> 00:06:06,912
And you're gonna end up like him,
mark my words.
92
00:06:06,996 --> 00:06:08,664
And where were you last night?
93
00:06:08,747 --> 00:06:11,584
Out screwin' some poor,
innocent little girl, I suppose.
94
00:06:12,001 --> 00:06:14,879
- Just like your father.
- Don't make me laugh.
95
00:06:15,004 --> 00:06:17,339
You hardly knew him.
You only met him once.
96
00:06:17,965 --> 00:06:20,676
Don't talk like that
in front of the baby.
97
00:06:20,885 --> 00:06:25,097
You woke her up and all, didn't he,
my dear little pet?
98
00:06:25,180 --> 00:06:27,057
Have more consideration.
99
00:06:27,182 --> 00:06:30,728
Anyway, it was twice I met him.
Twice.
100
00:06:31,478 --> 00:06:32,563
Gimme 'em!
101
00:06:32,771 --> 00:06:36,025
Mummy'll give you somethin'
nicer than that to play with,
102
00:06:36,108 --> 00:06:38,068
there's a good little girl.
103
00:06:39,069 --> 00:06:41,280
Well, are you gonna sit
staring at that all day,
104
00:06:41,363 --> 00:06:42,573
or are you gonna eat it?
105
00:06:42,656 --> 00:06:45,367
I don't feel like eating. Look,
just give me a cup of tea, will ya?
106
00:06:45,451 --> 00:06:48,370
Oh, I don't know
why I bother, I really don't.
107
00:06:48,537 --> 00:06:51,957
I mean, food is wasted
just as though it cost nothing.
108
00:06:52,082 --> 00:06:53,959
All right, all right!
Something's burning.
109
00:06:54,043 --> 00:06:56,128
Porridge, by the smell.
110
00:06:57,630 --> 00:07:00,049
Oh, it's all right,
just at the bottom.
111
00:07:00,132 --> 00:07:01,967
The top's all right.
112
00:07:05,095 --> 00:07:08,015
- Don't like porridge!
- Yes, you do. It's lovely.
113
00:07:08,098 --> 00:07:10,726
It's horrid! Horrid! Horrid!
114
00:07:10,809 --> 00:07:12,269
- Shut up!
- Oh!
115
00:07:12,394 --> 00:07:15,022
- Now look what you've done.
116
00:07:15,147 --> 00:07:17,358
You know it makes her cry.
117
00:07:17,483 --> 00:07:20,819
All right, I give up. That's it.
Bloody hell. I'm late as it is.
118
00:07:20,945 --> 00:07:24,198
- Look, where's me fares book?
- Oh, in the cupboard.
119
00:07:28,702 --> 00:07:30,037
Oh, my God!
120
00:07:30,204 --> 00:07:32,289
That little tyke's been thievin' again,
ain't he?
121
00:07:32,373 --> 00:07:36,126
Where is he? Peter!
Come in here! Peter!
122
00:07:36,210 --> 00:07:38,837
And he's like his father and all.
123
00:07:38,921 --> 00:07:41,024
Wind up in the same cell with him,
I shouldn't wonder,
124
00:07:41,048 --> 00:07:43,050
the way he's carryin' on.
125
00:07:43,258 --> 00:07:44,093
Peter!
126
00:07:44,218 --> 00:07:46,428
How am I supposed to get to sleep
with all this racket?
127
00:07:46,553 --> 00:07:48,305
Yeah? So?
Where's the fire, then?
128
00:07:48,472 --> 00:07:50,683
Over here. Come here.
129
00:07:50,808 --> 00:07:53,102
Look, what have you got to say about
all this lot, then?
130
00:07:53,185 --> 00:07:56,313
Good gear, innit?
I mean, it's not rubbish, is it?
131
00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:58,899
Here, you said
you got a proper job.
132
00:07:59,024 --> 00:07:59,858
Well, I have.
133
00:07:59,984 --> 00:08:01,819
I mean, I'm doin' it
proper now, aren't I?
134
00:08:01,944 --> 00:08:03,821
Been working very hard
at it and all.
135
00:08:03,904 --> 00:08:06,240
I've got a sharp little
organisation together.
136
00:08:06,365 --> 00:08:08,134
You're gonna get us all into trouble
one of these days.
137
00:08:08,158 --> 00:08:09,518
I mean, anyone could just walk in.
138
00:08:09,618 --> 00:08:11,787
Yeah, and all that lot lyin' there.
139
00:08:11,912 --> 00:08:14,540
Not to mention
twenty cartons of hairspray
140
00:08:14,623 --> 00:08:16,000
I found hidden under me bed.
141
00:08:16,291 --> 00:08:18,131
Fell off the back of a lorry,
didn't they, Mum?
142
00:08:18,210 --> 00:08:20,480
You're gonna end up in the nick
with ten years ahead of you.
143
00:08:20,504 --> 00:08:24,049
Peter's goin' in the nick!
Peter's goin' in the nick!
144
00:08:24,216 --> 00:08:25,843
Why can't you get
an honest job for once?
145
00:08:26,093 --> 00:08:28,721
What? Like driving a cab?
Leave off.
146
00:08:28,804 --> 00:08:30,782
Anyway, that's no more than
bleedin' highway robbery,
147
00:08:30,806 --> 00:08:32,617
so what are you doin'
tellin' me to go straight?
148
00:08:32,641 --> 00:08:34,601
Oh, choice. I like that.
149
00:08:36,895 --> 00:08:39,857
Just don't ask me
to bail you out, that's all.
150
00:08:41,900 --> 00:08:43,527
It's your funeral.
151
00:08:57,958 --> 00:09:00,544
What'd I tell ya, eh?
It's always like that.
152
00:09:00,586 --> 00:09:03,297
Makes it a pleasure
goin' to work of a mornin'.
153
00:09:09,011 --> 00:09:12,264
I tell you what'd cheer me up,
be to pick up a nice bit of crumpet.
154
00:09:12,347 --> 00:09:14,349
Very handy for introductions,
this motor.
155
00:09:25,569 --> 00:09:28,614
A man about town like you
156
00:09:29,198 --> 00:09:32,117
You have better things to do
157
00:09:32,993 --> 00:09:34,912
But spendin' the time
158
00:09:34,995 --> 00:09:38,123
I'll see that it's worth your while
159
00:09:38,207 --> 00:09:40,250
Oh, baby
160
00:09:40,334 --> 00:09:44,213
I know you've been runnin' free
161
00:09:44,338 --> 00:09:46,840
I think you'd have fun with me
162
00:09:46,924 --> 00:09:48,967
Forget the rest
163
00:09:49,051 --> 00:09:53,263
I'd like to test your drivin' style
164
00:09:53,305 --> 00:09:54,973
Won't you be my
165
00:09:55,057 --> 00:09:58,811
Cruisin' Casanova?
166
00:09:59,019 --> 00:10:03,023
Click your fingers and I'll be over there
167
00:10:03,357 --> 00:10:05,067
Smoothin' your hair
168
00:10:05,192 --> 00:10:08,403
Soothin' your cares away
169
00:10:08,487 --> 00:10:13,617
There's no refusin' Casanova
170
00:10:13,784 --> 00:10:17,955
Stop the clock and workin' overtime
171
00:10:18,122 --> 00:10:21,667
Cruisin' Casanova, be mine
172
00:10:21,792 --> 00:10:25,087
My man's a taxi driver...
173
00:10:30,592 --> 00:10:33,387
- Where to, darling?
- Lambeth Bridge, please.
174
00:10:33,512 --> 00:10:35,305
Right you are, then.
175
00:10:46,984 --> 00:10:50,028
Nice morning, innit?
You off to work, then?
176
00:10:50,154 --> 00:10:52,573
Yeah, I thought so.
I can usually tell.
177
00:10:52,656 --> 00:10:55,492
Well, being in this job, you have to
be a bit of a psychologist.
178
00:10:55,576 --> 00:10:57,661
What do you do for a living, eh?
No, don't tell me.
179
00:10:57,703 --> 00:10:59,121
Let me guess.
180
00:10:59,163 --> 00:11:01,707
I'd say you're a secretary, right?
181
00:11:01,832 --> 00:11:05,169
Personal secretary
to some oil magnate, eh?
182
00:11:05,294 --> 00:11:07,004
Really high-powered.
183
00:11:07,087 --> 00:11:09,006
Don't let appearances fool ya.
184
00:11:09,089 --> 00:11:11,508
Be a right little raver, this one,
when it gets going.
185
00:11:11,633 --> 00:11:13,468
Got a lovely little body on her, too.
186
00:11:13,635 --> 00:11:15,429
No mistake.
187
00:11:15,554 --> 00:11:17,514
Looks a bit miserable, though.
188
00:11:17,598 --> 00:11:19,808
I know what she needs, right?
189
00:11:19,892 --> 00:11:21,727
That's another thing I can tell.
190
00:11:21,810 --> 00:11:25,647
Whether a bird's had a good
seein' to, or not, the night before.
191
00:11:25,731 --> 00:11:29,526
I reckon that one's had a right
thin time of it lately, don't you?
192
00:11:29,818 --> 00:11:33,197
Born in London, were ya?
No, don't tell me. Let me guess.
193
00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:34,907
I'd say,
judging from your accent,
194
00:11:35,032 --> 00:11:37,409
that you're from
somewhere up north, right?
195
00:11:37,492 --> 00:11:39,328
Yes, I can usually tell.
196
00:11:39,620 --> 00:11:42,748
Somewhere like, er...
Liverpool, maybe?
197
00:11:42,873 --> 00:11:45,250
Yeah. Liverpool, I'd say.
198
00:11:45,334 --> 00:11:47,419
She's weakening.
What'd I tell you, eh?
199
00:11:47,502 --> 00:11:51,673
Oh, yes, definitely softening up.
Stands out a mile.
200
00:11:51,757 --> 00:11:53,467
Which side of the bridge, love?
201
00:11:53,592 --> 00:11:55,636
- The middle.
- The middle?
202
00:11:55,761 --> 00:11:57,596
Right, then. Middle it is.
203
00:12:10,275 --> 00:12:12,569
That'll be, um...
Here, hang on!
204
00:12:12,694 --> 00:12:16,490
Hey! Hang on a minute, darling.
What about my fare?
205
00:12:27,376 --> 00:12:30,045
Go away and leave me alone!
Please. Just leave me alone.
206
00:12:30,128 --> 00:12:32,130
But I never laid a finger on ya.
207
00:12:32,214 --> 00:12:33,316
Look...
What's the matter with you?
208
00:12:33,340 --> 00:12:35,676
Jesus Christ,
I only want me bleedin' fare.
209
00:12:35,759 --> 00:12:37,528
Look, if you haven't got it,
there's no need to panic.
210
00:12:37,552 --> 00:12:39,596
I mean it.
Don't come any closer.
211
00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:42,015
All right. All right.
I'm going. I'm going.
212
00:12:42,099 --> 00:12:43,725
You don't care, do you?
213
00:12:43,809 --> 00:12:45,435
- Nobody cares.
- Eh?
214
00:12:45,519 --> 00:12:47,312
No-one will even notice I'm dead.
215
00:12:47,396 --> 00:12:49,523
All right, then,
if that's the way it is,
216
00:12:49,606 --> 00:12:50,649
I'll jump now.
217
00:12:50,732 --> 00:12:52,693
- Oh, my God!
- Don't try and stop me.
218
00:12:52,818 --> 00:12:54,903
It's too late.
My mind's made up.
219
00:12:55,028 --> 00:12:57,114
No. Wait. Don't do it!
220
00:12:57,197 --> 00:13:01,868
The pain, the suffering, will only end
when the icy waters close over me,
221
00:13:01,994 --> 00:13:03,245
carrying me away into oblivion.
222
00:13:03,370 --> 00:13:06,415
- Funny bird.
- The dreamless sleep of eternity.
223
00:13:06,540 --> 00:13:07,976
Darlin', why don't you
tell me about it?
224
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,543
I mean, I don't
pretend to understand.
225
00:13:09,584 --> 00:13:10,919
I've only just met you,
haven't I?
226
00:13:11,003 --> 00:13:12,188
But you know
what they say, right?
227
00:13:12,212 --> 00:13:13,922
"A trouble shared
is a trouble halved."
228
00:13:14,006 --> 00:13:16,842
And all can say is, well,
it seems to me a terrible waste,
229
00:13:16,967 --> 00:13:19,344
beautiful girl like you
tryin' to do away with herself.
230
00:13:19,428 --> 00:13:20,554
What do you say, eh?
231
00:13:20,762 --> 00:13:22,240
I mean, nothing's
ever that bad, really.
232
00:13:22,264 --> 00:13:23,765
Not when you come down to it.
233
00:13:23,849 --> 00:13:25,726
It's too late for talking now.
234
00:13:25,809 --> 00:13:27,769
Oh, please, darlin'.
Try, eh?
235
00:13:27,853 --> 00:13:29,688
I'm all alone in the world.
236
00:13:29,771 --> 00:13:32,399
No-one loves me.
No-one cares.
237
00:13:32,482 --> 00:13:36,278
You don't know what it's like
to be left alone, unloved, unwanted.
238
00:13:36,361 --> 00:13:38,113
Hold on. I don't believe it.
239
00:13:38,196 --> 00:13:40,574
Beautiful girl like you
and no-one wants to know?
240
00:13:40,699 --> 00:13:42,492
Listen, I could love ya.
241
00:13:42,576 --> 00:13:44,661
I mean, the first time I saw ya,
I said to meself,
242
00:13:44,703 --> 00:13:46,496
"Now there's a girl
I could really love."
243
00:13:46,580 --> 00:13:48,040
There was a man.
244
00:13:48,123 --> 00:13:49,416
Once.
245
00:13:49,499 --> 00:13:51,043
I thought he loved me.
246
00:13:51,126 --> 00:13:53,837
- Oh, Ronald, Ronald!
- Watch yourself, you'll fall!
247
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:55,047
He's never coming back.
248
00:13:55,130 --> 00:13:57,674
I'll never see him again.
Never! I want to die.
249
00:13:57,758 --> 00:14:01,345
I can't face life without him.
Oh, Ronald, Ronald!
250
00:14:04,890 --> 00:14:06,975
I can't even kill myself properly.
251
00:14:07,059 --> 00:14:08,643
I'm a failure at everything.
252
00:14:08,727 --> 00:14:11,146
No, you just need
cheerin' up, that's all.
253
00:14:11,271 --> 00:14:13,315
Look, you've had
a nasty shock, right?
254
00:14:13,398 --> 00:14:15,734
Why don't I take you home, eh?
Where do you live?
255
00:14:16,401 --> 00:14:18,653
Do you really think
I'll ever be able to forget Ronald?
256
00:14:18,737 --> 00:14:20,989
'Course you will.
With a bit of help.
257
00:14:21,114 --> 00:14:22,366
I need love, you see.
258
00:14:22,449 --> 00:14:24,743
That's what I need,
lots of loving.
259
00:14:24,993 --> 00:14:26,536
Well, er...
260
00:14:26,620 --> 00:14:28,163
I did just save her life, didn't I?
261
00:14:28,246 --> 00:14:30,749
I mean, the way I look at it,
it's an offer I can't refuse.
262
00:14:30,874 --> 00:14:33,460
And strong arms.
Strong arms to hold me.
263
00:14:33,543 --> 00:14:36,880
Hold ya? It's like trying to
undress a bloody octopus.
264
00:14:37,089 --> 00:14:39,091
I don't want you
to think I'm promiscuous,
265
00:14:39,174 --> 00:14:40,651
just because you caught me
at a weak moment.
266
00:14:40,675 --> 00:14:42,344
Oh, I don't. I don't.
267
00:14:42,469 --> 00:14:44,096
Look, just lift up a bit, will ya?
268
00:14:44,179 --> 00:14:46,640
It's just that without Ronald,
I feel so helpless.
269
00:14:46,723 --> 00:14:48,409
Oh, I don't know,
you seem to be doing all right.
270
00:14:48,433 --> 00:14:50,394
I wish he was here right now,
so he could see.
271
00:14:50,477 --> 00:14:51,937
Oh, I don't!
272
00:14:54,064 --> 00:14:55,482
Linda!
273
00:14:55,565 --> 00:14:57,609
- It's Ronald.
- Ronald?
274
00:15:01,363 --> 00:15:03,490
- Oh!
- You got it all wrong, mate.
275
00:15:03,573 --> 00:15:05,117
It's not like that at all.
276
00:15:05,242 --> 00:15:07,661
I've just brought her back in my cab,
you see.
277
00:15:07,702 --> 00:15:09,663
And you're just collecting the fare,
that right?
278
00:15:09,704 --> 00:15:11,123
Yeah. No!
279
00:15:11,206 --> 00:15:14,042
You mustn't...
mustn't get it wrong. Um...
280
00:15:14,292 --> 00:15:16,253
I didn't dare leave her.
281
00:15:16,336 --> 00:15:18,463
She was gonna do herself in.
282
00:15:18,505 --> 00:15:20,757
Throw herself off Lambeth Bridge.
283
00:15:20,841 --> 00:15:22,342
Well, that makes a change.
284
00:15:22,968 --> 00:15:25,762
Let's see, what's the score now?
Westminster twice,
285
00:15:25,846 --> 00:15:28,014
Blackfriars, London Bridge,
Tower Bridge,
286
00:15:28,098 --> 00:15:29,450
and that's only
in the last few months.
287
00:15:29,474 --> 00:15:32,269
Well, how was I supposed to know?
I mean, she was in a terrible state.
288
00:15:32,394 --> 00:15:34,104
- Said you'd left her.
- And you did.
289
00:15:34,187 --> 00:15:35,832
You just walked out
without saying goodbye,
290
00:15:35,856 --> 00:15:36,857
and you slammed the door.
291
00:15:36,940 --> 00:15:39,192
- Cover yourself up, will you?
- That's typical, that is.
292
00:15:39,276 --> 00:15:41,153
Most of the time
you want me to uncover myself.
293
00:15:41,236 --> 00:15:42,672
That's different.
That's when I'm with you.
294
00:15:42,696 --> 00:15:44,656
Well, you're with me now,
so what's different?
295
00:15:44,781 --> 00:15:46,741
Admit it, you only
want me for my body.
296
00:15:46,783 --> 00:15:48,143
Oh, Linda, don't be so ridiculous.
297
00:15:48,201 --> 00:15:49,119
- I'm not being...
- Er... Excuse me...
298
00:15:49,202 --> 00:15:50,430
You think you can
treat me how you like,
299
00:15:50,454 --> 00:15:51,663
as if I've got no feelings.
300
00:15:51,705 --> 00:15:54,875
- Now, you know that's not true.
- Oh, calling me a liar, are you, now?
301
00:15:54,958 --> 00:15:57,478
Not content with only wanting me
for my body, I'm a liar as well!
302
00:15:57,502 --> 00:15:59,546
- I didn't say that!
- Um... excuse me...
303
00:15:59,671 --> 00:16:02,424
I knew it. I just knew it.
You don't love me any more.
304
00:16:02,507 --> 00:16:03,758
Of course I do!
305
00:16:03,842 --> 00:16:05,969
You wouldn't say
such things if you did.
306
00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:07,280
Look, I don't want
to interrupt anything...
307
00:16:07,304 --> 00:16:10,158
Look, if I didn't love you, how the hell
could I have put up with you for so long?
308
00:16:10,182 --> 00:16:11,993
- I said, I don't want to interrupt...
- Just mind your own business.
309
00:16:12,017 --> 00:16:13,202
Keep your nose out of this, mate.
310
00:16:13,226 --> 00:16:15,103
I've got to go to work
sometimes, you know,
311
00:16:15,187 --> 00:16:18,231
without you thinking I'm leaving you
and threatening to commit suicide.
312
00:16:18,356 --> 00:16:20,400
You drive me to it.
You're so...
313
00:16:20,484 --> 00:16:22,360
You're so cruel to me!
Thank you.
314
00:16:22,444 --> 00:16:23,671
- Thank you.
- Oh, don't be so stupid.
315
00:16:23,695 --> 00:16:25,322
You're sick, that's your trouble.
316
00:16:25,405 --> 00:16:27,491
Oh, yes,
that's always your attitude.
317
00:16:27,616 --> 00:16:30,702
You never think.
And you still haven't remembered.
318
00:16:30,744 --> 00:16:33,246
Remembered what,
for heaven's sake?
319
00:16:33,330 --> 00:16:34,706
It's my birthday!
320
00:16:34,831 --> 00:16:36,267
So what's important
about a birthday?
321
00:16:36,291 --> 00:16:38,060
- It's very important...
- You have one every year.
322
00:16:38,084 --> 00:16:43,131
- Come on, you can't have more than one.
- It's very important to have a birthday!
323
00:16:52,265 --> 00:16:55,727
It's gonna be one of those days.
I just know it.
324
00:16:58,271 --> 00:17:00,732
I'd like to take her out
and push her under a bus.
325
00:17:00,857 --> 00:17:03,151
Don't you talk about
your little sister like that.
326
00:17:03,235 --> 00:17:04,736
I won't have it!
327
00:17:04,819 --> 00:17:07,405
Sister?
She's not even human.
328
00:17:07,489 --> 00:17:11,034
Look at that lot! A whole
bleedin' ton of soap powder ruined.
329
00:17:11,117 --> 00:17:12,953
Do you know how much money
she's lost me?
330
00:17:13,036 --> 00:17:16,540
And when I'd done a deal on it.
Knocked myself out to set it up.
331
00:17:16,623 --> 00:17:18,684
Well, no-one asked you
to bring it in here, did they?
332
00:17:18,708 --> 00:17:20,252
Clutterin' up my kitchen.
333
00:17:20,335 --> 00:17:23,004
Well, I want it out.
Just get rid of it.
334
00:17:23,088 --> 00:17:24,881
- Do you hear me?
- Oh, yeah?
335
00:17:24,965 --> 00:17:26,383
Now, what am I supposed to say?
336
00:17:26,466 --> 00:17:28,969
Like, er...
"Listen, mate, about that soap powder,
337
00:17:29,052 --> 00:17:32,389
"I did have it, see, but it
sort of vanished. Sorry about that."
338
00:17:32,514 --> 00:17:35,976
Or how about, "My little sister
decided to decorate the house with it."
339
00:17:36,059 --> 00:17:38,770
Oh, they're gonna love that,
after they've picked themselves up
340
00:17:38,853 --> 00:17:40,564
off the bloody floor laughing,
of course.
341
00:17:40,647 --> 00:17:43,984
Joe, Joe, just tell him, will you?
Just tell him to get rid of it.
342
00:17:44,025 --> 00:17:46,152
No. No. I... I've had
as much as I can take.
343
00:17:46,236 --> 00:17:48,130
I wash my hands of
the whole bleedin' lot of you.
344
00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:50,156
That's it, as far as I'm concerned.
345
00:17:51,324 --> 00:17:53,743
Why don't you get rid of
the stuff you've already got
346
00:17:53,785 --> 00:17:55,412
before you bring more in?
347
00:17:55,495 --> 00:17:58,748
It's getting so that I can't even
move around me own house.
348
00:17:58,873 --> 00:18:00,584
What's all that gear
doin' in my bedroom?
349
00:18:00,625 --> 00:18:02,770
I'll wring her bloody little neck,
so help me, I will.
350
00:18:02,794 --> 00:18:03,962
Peter!
351
00:18:04,045 --> 00:18:06,065
Little monster ought to
have been put down at birth.
352
00:18:06,089 --> 00:18:07,215
What?
353
00:18:07,299 --> 00:18:08,425
- Peter!
- What?
354
00:18:08,508 --> 00:18:11,303
I want to know what all that...
355
00:18:11,386 --> 00:18:13,930
Oh, never mind. Forget it.
356
00:18:14,014 --> 00:18:16,933
And where do you think
you're going, Sunny Jim?
357
00:18:17,017 --> 00:18:19,936
I've got a
nice little job for you first.
358
00:18:21,187 --> 00:18:24,357
- Dump it.
- Oh, Ma, where?
359
00:18:24,441 --> 00:18:27,152
That is your problem, not mine.
360
00:18:27,527 --> 00:18:30,405
And mind you
bring that bucket back.
361
00:18:38,455 --> 00:18:40,457
Where do you think
you're going with that?
362
00:18:40,540 --> 00:18:41,833
I told you, I'm leaving.
363
00:18:41,916 --> 00:18:45,295
Oh, I see. Just walkin' out
and leavin' me to cope?
364
00:18:45,420 --> 00:18:48,214
A fine son you turned out to be.
365
00:18:48,298 --> 00:18:51,384
Just like your father,
whoever he was. Here!
366
00:18:51,468 --> 00:18:54,220
What am I supposed to tell Carol
when she comes?
367
00:18:54,262 --> 00:18:56,222
Well, you can tell her to...
368
00:18:56,306 --> 00:18:58,433
- Hello, love.
- Hello, love.
369
00:18:58,516 --> 00:19:02,687
Carol, me steady. Bit of a drag.
Got wedding bells in her ears.
370
00:19:02,771 --> 00:19:06,107
- What you doin' with that, then?
- He's clearin' off.
371
00:19:06,274 --> 00:19:09,819
Walkin' out on his responsibilities,
that's what he's doin'.
372
00:19:09,903 --> 00:19:13,657
Oh, no! No, I'm sure Joe wouldn't do
a thing like that without telling me.
373
00:19:13,740 --> 00:19:15,200
- Would you, Joe?
- Yes, I would.
374
00:19:15,283 --> 00:19:18,787
I've had enough. I'm clearin' out.
I've had enough.
375
00:19:19,245 --> 00:19:20,038
Ooh!
376
00:19:20,121 --> 00:19:23,291
Well, I expect
I'll see you later, then?
377
00:19:23,375 --> 00:19:25,543
Joe! Joe!
378
00:19:25,627 --> 00:19:28,463
Joe North!
You come here. Come here.
379
00:19:28,546 --> 00:19:31,174
Do I comprehend
the situation correctly?
380
00:19:31,299 --> 00:19:33,551
- Are you leavin' home?
- Dead right.
381
00:19:33,635 --> 00:19:36,721
Without a word to me
or even a by-your-leave?
382
00:19:36,805 --> 00:19:38,306
It's got nothing to do with you.
383
00:19:38,431 --> 00:19:40,311
What do you mean
it's got nothing to do with me?
384
00:19:40,392 --> 00:19:42,018
I happen to be your fiancée,
385
00:19:42,143 --> 00:19:44,604
and fiancées have a right
to know these things.
386
00:19:44,688 --> 00:19:47,273
- So where are you going?
- I don't know.
387
00:19:47,357 --> 00:19:50,568
- What do you mean, you don't know?
- Well, I just told you, I don't know.
388
00:19:50,652 --> 00:19:52,797
You can't just leave home
and not know where you're going.
389
00:19:52,821 --> 00:19:55,865
As soon as I find somewhere,
I'll get in touch, all right?
390
00:19:55,949 --> 00:19:58,118
Well, when's that, then?
391
00:19:58,201 --> 00:20:01,079
How should I know? Tonight, tomorrow,
as soon as I'm settled in.
392
00:20:01,162 --> 00:20:03,265
Well, does that mean you're not
gonna take me out tonight?
393
00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:05,417
How can I?
I don't know where I'll be.
394
00:20:05,542 --> 00:20:07,919
- Gone with the Wind.
- What?
395
00:20:08,002 --> 00:20:11,214
That's what you were supposed
to take me to, Gone with the Wind.
396
00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:13,508
Oh, come on, now.
You must have seen it ten times.
397
00:20:13,633 --> 00:20:14,718
Eleven.
398
00:20:14,801 --> 00:20:17,154
What with that and Lady and the Tramp
every year at Christmas,
399
00:20:17,178 --> 00:20:18,738
it's enough to
drive anyone up the wall.
400
00:20:18,805 --> 00:20:21,516
Well, you don't have to come.
I mean, nobody's forcing you to.
401
00:20:21,599 --> 00:20:23,810
I mean, you don't have to care
if I'm on my own,
402
00:20:23,893 --> 00:20:26,146
probably being molested
in the back row.
403
00:20:26,271 --> 00:20:28,356
Oh, come on.
Who's gonna molest you?
404
00:20:28,481 --> 00:20:30,692
Lots of people, if I let 'em.
405
00:20:30,775 --> 00:20:32,527
Anyway, you always do.
406
00:20:32,694 --> 00:20:34,296
Yeah, well, I've gotta find
something to do, haven't I?
407
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:35,589
Gone with the Wind,
it's a long film.
408
00:20:35,613 --> 00:20:37,866
Well, if you won't
take me to the pictures,
409
00:20:38,032 --> 00:20:40,302
why can't I come with you
and help you find somewhere to stay?
410
00:20:40,326 --> 00:20:43,121
Carol, I'll be all right.
411
00:20:43,246 --> 00:20:45,957
Supposing you're movin' in
with another woman?
412
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:47,876
Oh, leave off, Carol.
413
00:20:47,959 --> 00:20:49,502
Well, how am I supposed to know?
414
00:20:49,586 --> 00:20:51,713
Look, I'll ring you, all right?
415
00:20:51,796 --> 00:20:54,507
You see, if you would have told me
you were leavin' home,
416
00:20:54,674 --> 00:20:56,050
I could have done the same,
417
00:20:56,134 --> 00:20:57,903
and then we could have
moved in together, and...
418
00:20:57,927 --> 00:21:00,597
and got married
before I originally planned.
419
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:02,474
Yeah. Well, er...
I'll ring you.
420
00:21:02,557 --> 00:21:04,517
See, if you wouldn't mind
hangin' about for a bit,
421
00:21:04,559 --> 00:21:06,644
I could belt home
and start packing straight away.
422
00:21:06,728 --> 00:21:07,896
Ah, no! Look, um...
423
00:21:07,979 --> 00:21:10,732
Twenty minutes, fifteen at the outside
if you took me by cab.
424
00:21:10,815 --> 00:21:13,860
Carol, I haven't got time
for all this.
425
00:21:17,864 --> 00:21:19,115
What is the matter?
426
00:21:19,199 --> 00:21:20,992
Do you not want
to live with me anymore?
427
00:21:21,075 --> 00:21:23,286
'Course I do.
It's nothing to do with that.
428
00:21:23,369 --> 00:21:25,872
Well, you wouldn't think so,
the way you go on about it.
429
00:21:25,997 --> 00:21:28,309
You know, you'll have to get
used to it once we're married.
430
00:21:28,333 --> 00:21:29,584
Look, what's up with you?
431
00:21:29,667 --> 00:21:31,085
Don't you trust me or something?
432
00:21:31,169 --> 00:21:32,962
Quite frankly, no.
433
00:21:33,087 --> 00:21:34,130
Charmin'.
434
00:21:34,214 --> 00:21:37,008
Well, it's just that I don't like
to think of you being unfaithful.
435
00:21:37,091 --> 00:21:41,262
Especially as I spent all my savings
last week buying my engagement ring.
436
00:21:41,387 --> 00:21:43,973
- Have I ever been unfaithful to you?
- No.
437
00:21:44,057 --> 00:21:46,267
Have you ever caught me
with another woman?
438
00:21:46,434 --> 00:21:47,268
No.
439
00:21:47,393 --> 00:21:49,771
Have you ever caught me,
when I've been out with you,
440
00:21:49,854 --> 00:21:52,357
even looking at another woman?
441
00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:54,275
- No.
- Well, there you are, then.
442
00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:57,028
You've got nothing to worry about,
have you?
443
00:21:57,529 --> 00:21:59,823
That is besides the point.
444
00:21:59,906 --> 00:22:04,619
Remember, a penny saved
is a penny not spent.
445
00:22:04,994 --> 00:22:06,704
What are you goin' on about?
446
00:22:06,871 --> 00:22:10,291
Do not put
all your balls in one basket.
447
00:22:10,375 --> 00:22:12,502
That is what I'm trying to say.
448
00:22:12,544 --> 00:22:17,173
You see, if I caught you reclining
in the embrace of another woman,
449
00:22:17,423 --> 00:22:19,384
do you know what I would do?
450
00:22:19,467 --> 00:22:21,177
I would chop it off!
451
00:22:22,762 --> 00:22:23,972
Look, you can trust me.
452
00:22:24,055 --> 00:22:27,517
As soon as I find somewhere,
I'll ring you, all right?
453
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,644
But, I thought I was
coming with you.
454
00:22:29,727 --> 00:22:32,397
- What?
- Well, that's what we agreed.
455
00:22:32,522 --> 00:22:34,482
- Yeah. Well, look, um... you go home...
- Yeah.
456
00:22:34,607 --> 00:22:36,067
- And pack your things.
- Yeah.
457
00:22:36,192 --> 00:22:39,112
- And then as soon as I find somewhere...
- Yeah.
458
00:22:39,195 --> 00:22:41,823
- I'll see ya later.
- Right.
459
00:22:43,825 --> 00:22:45,785
I hadn't finished yet!
460
00:23:12,770 --> 00:23:15,899
Tom? Tom? You about?
461
00:23:15,982 --> 00:23:17,859
With you in a minute.
462
00:23:20,445 --> 00:23:23,323
- Joe, how are things?
- Oh, not so bad.
463
00:23:23,406 --> 00:23:24,741
Mind if I carry on?
464
00:23:24,824 --> 00:23:27,452
- Busy, I see.
- Oh, not bad.
465
00:23:28,244 --> 00:23:30,204
Still got your picture gallery, then?
466
00:23:30,288 --> 00:23:32,957
You dirty old bastard.
467
00:23:33,041 --> 00:23:36,085
Make good dart boards.
You should see how my aim's improved.
468
00:23:36,169 --> 00:23:38,796
Here, pass that grease gun, will ya?
469
00:23:40,256 --> 00:23:41,257
Ta.
470
00:23:42,634 --> 00:23:44,552
How's the cab business, then?
471
00:23:44,636 --> 00:23:46,512
Oh, mustn't grumble.
472
00:23:50,016 --> 00:23:51,935
Thing is, I, er...
473
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:54,479
I did want to
ask you a favour, mate.
474
00:23:55,438 --> 00:23:57,982
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah. Um...
475
00:23:58,858 --> 00:24:00,652
You know that flat
you've got upstairs?
476
00:24:00,777 --> 00:24:02,737
Yeah? What about it?
477
00:24:02,820 --> 00:24:05,531
- Well, it's got two bedrooms, right?
- Just about. Yeah.
478
00:24:05,615 --> 00:24:07,700
Yeah.
Well, I've got this problem, see.
479
00:24:07,742 --> 00:24:10,328
Like, I've gotta find
somewhere to live, and, er...
480
00:24:10,411 --> 00:24:12,664
well, seeing as how we're mates...
481
00:24:12,747 --> 00:24:14,308
I mean, I'd help
towards the rent and that.
482
00:24:14,332 --> 00:24:17,418
Listen, Joe, any time,
you know that.
483
00:24:17,502 --> 00:24:19,253
Unfortunately, it's not that simple.
484
00:24:19,337 --> 00:24:21,398
I mean, if you'd asked me
a couple of weeks ago, no problem.
485
00:24:21,422 --> 00:24:24,022
But, the trouble, is I've got a lady
living with me at the moment.
486
00:24:24,050 --> 00:24:26,594
Don't tell me you need two beds.
You must be slipping.
487
00:24:26,678 --> 00:24:29,055
No, no, no, it's not that.
488
00:24:29,639 --> 00:24:32,016
Look, Joe, I'll be straight with you.
You know women.
489
00:24:32,100 --> 00:24:35,561
You never know how they'll react.
I mean, well, Nikki's a nice lady, but...
490
00:24:35,645 --> 00:24:38,481
- Well, she does work odd hours.
- Yeah?
491
00:24:38,564 --> 00:24:40,358
Has its advantages, I suppose.
492
00:24:40,441 --> 00:24:43,695
I wouldn't ask
if I wasn't really desperate.
493
00:24:43,778 --> 00:24:45,530
Just till I get
something else fixed up.
494
00:24:45,613 --> 00:24:47,782
All right, all right.
Just for a couple of weeks,
495
00:24:47,824 --> 00:24:50,243
- till you find somewhere.
- Yeah.
496
00:24:50,493 --> 00:24:52,578
WOMAN: Is this a private party
or can anyone join in?
497
00:24:52,662 --> 00:24:55,456
Hello! Talk of the devil!
498
00:24:56,082 --> 00:24:58,960
I'll say this for Tom,
he certainly knows how to pick 'em.
499
00:24:59,043 --> 00:25:00,503
Now, she's obviously a bit of class.
500
00:25:00,586 --> 00:25:02,439
Probably an air hostess,
or something like that.
501
00:25:02,463 --> 00:25:05,258
This is Nikki.
She's a stripper.
502
00:25:05,341 --> 00:25:07,552
Well, you can't always
be right, can ya?
503
00:25:08,136 --> 00:25:10,263
Joe's comin' to stay
with us for a while.
504
00:25:10,346 --> 00:25:14,058
- Oh, nice. When?
- How about now?
505
00:25:14,142 --> 00:25:16,644
You weren't kiddin', were you?
506
00:25:16,728 --> 00:25:19,168
Well, I don't believe in hanging about
once me mind's made up.
507
00:25:19,272 --> 00:25:22,775
You, er...
plannin' on stayin' long, then?
508
00:25:22,859 --> 00:25:25,319
Well, just till
I get meself sorted out,
509
00:25:25,403 --> 00:25:27,238
find a nice little place to live.
510
00:25:27,321 --> 00:25:29,115
Oh, if you hear of
anywhere that's going,
511
00:25:29,198 --> 00:25:30,450
not too expensive.
512
00:25:30,533 --> 00:25:32,076
Oh, yeah. Sure.
513
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:33,828
She fancies me. I can tell.
514
00:25:33,953 --> 00:25:37,123
I could pull this one.
Dead easy. No problem.
515
00:25:37,498 --> 00:25:39,584
I expect you're like me.
516
00:25:39,667 --> 00:25:41,127
Work odd hours.
517
00:25:41,252 --> 00:25:43,379
Yeah, I do a bit.
518
00:25:43,463 --> 00:25:45,715
I suppose that means we won't...
519
00:25:45,798 --> 00:25:47,592
see a lot of each other, then.
520
00:25:47,717 --> 00:25:50,386
Do you fancy a quick one before I go?
521
00:25:52,263 --> 00:25:54,557
Oh! Er...
No, thanks.
522
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:56,350
Better get out
and earn some money.
523
00:25:56,434 --> 00:25:59,103
- Like me to drop you off?
- Oh yeah, great.
524
00:25:59,187 --> 00:26:01,481
Save me gettin' a cab.
525
00:26:01,981 --> 00:26:03,816
Yeah, I could definitely
make it with her,
526
00:26:03,900 --> 00:26:05,902
but I think I'd better
put in a bit of hard graft,
527
00:26:05,943 --> 00:26:07,153
earn meself some money.
528
00:26:07,278 --> 00:26:10,239
Yes, that's what I'm gonna
concentrate on for a bit, money.
529
00:27:39,745 --> 00:27:40,913
Nikki!
530
00:27:40,997 --> 00:27:43,624
- Nikki! Nikki!
- What?
531
00:27:43,833 --> 00:27:45,960
No, stand back, for God's sake.
Stand back.
532
00:27:46,043 --> 00:27:48,337
Why? What's happened?
533
00:27:48,462 --> 00:27:50,882
It's a...
In there.
534
00:27:53,134 --> 00:27:55,219
No, don't go any closer.
535
00:27:55,303 --> 00:27:58,723
Oh, don't be silly.
536
00:27:58,806 --> 00:28:02,268
- But it's a...
- It's Monty.
537
00:28:02,727 --> 00:28:04,103
Oh, don't touch it.
538
00:28:04,145 --> 00:28:07,023
They bite, you know.
They're... They're poisonous!
539
00:28:07,148 --> 00:28:09,734
Monty is a python,
540
00:28:09,901 --> 00:28:12,028
and they don't bite.
541
00:28:12,528 --> 00:28:15,781
Anyway, he wouldn't hurt anyone,
would you, Monty?
542
00:28:15,823 --> 00:28:18,367
Are you trying to tell me...
543
00:28:18,451 --> 00:28:22,872
- Is that thing yours?
- Well, of course it is.
544
00:28:22,955 --> 00:28:25,541
And don't shout.
545
00:28:25,583 --> 00:28:28,920
You'll upset him.
He's very highly strung.
546
00:28:29,003 --> 00:28:31,923
Well, what's he doing in my bath?
547
00:28:32,006 --> 00:28:34,926
Where else could I put him?
548
00:28:35,009 --> 00:28:37,970
Anyway, he likes it in the bath.
549
00:28:38,054 --> 00:28:40,306
Keep that horrible thing away from me.
550
00:28:40,431 --> 00:28:42,391
I'm telling you,
you'll have to get rid of it.
551
00:28:42,475 --> 00:28:45,645
It's not staying here.
You'll have to get rid of it.
552
00:28:45,728 --> 00:28:47,647
Get rid of it?
553
00:28:47,730 --> 00:28:48,814
I can't.
554
00:28:48,898 --> 00:28:51,567
And, even if I wanted to,
which I don't,
555
00:28:51,651 --> 00:28:54,445
- he's part of my act.
- Change your act.
556
00:28:54,528 --> 00:28:57,073
Change my act?
557
00:28:57,156 --> 00:29:01,786
Monty is a huge success
and you don't replace that in a hurry.
558
00:29:01,911 --> 00:29:05,248
- Do you, darlin'?
- Oh, will you stop doing that?
559
00:29:05,331 --> 00:29:08,834
Gives me the horrors, those beady
little eyes starin' at me all the time.
560
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:11,963
I don't know why
you're making such a fuss.
561
00:29:12,088 --> 00:29:13,881
Give me his basket.
562
00:29:20,012 --> 00:29:22,515
I don't know how you'd feel
if you found a snake in your bath.
563
00:29:22,598 --> 00:29:24,725
I mean, I almost
had a heart attack.
564
00:29:24,809 --> 00:29:26,936
Are you sure that thing's
gonna be safe in there?
565
00:29:27,019 --> 00:29:29,689
Yes, of course he is.
566
00:29:29,814 --> 00:29:32,775
Monty is very well behaved.
567
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:37,405
In you go.
There we are.
568
00:30:09,228 --> 00:30:11,772
- Hello, Gerry, Bill.
- Wotcha, Joe.
569
00:30:11,856 --> 00:30:14,317
- Pick any winners, did ya?
- Nah.
570
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:15,818
Oh, it's a mug's game, that.
571
00:30:15,901 --> 00:30:18,070
You wanna give it up, mate,
save your money.
572
00:30:18,154 --> 00:30:19,739
Hello, sexy.
573
00:30:20,197 --> 00:30:23,075
It's my money. Might as well
spend it on that as anything else.
574
00:30:23,159 --> 00:30:25,512
Better than throwing it away
on ruddy women all the time, like you.
575
00:30:25,536 --> 00:30:27,288
What are you talking about?
I make them pay.
576
00:30:27,371 --> 00:30:28,956
That's the secret, mate.
577
00:30:29,081 --> 00:30:30,833
Sex maniac, that's what you are.
578
00:30:30,916 --> 00:30:33,002
Nah, you're just too old, mate,
that's your trouble.
579
00:30:33,085 --> 00:30:34,962
Can't get it up any more.
580
00:30:35,046 --> 00:30:36,982
From what I've heard,
you can't get yours down, mate.
581
00:30:37,006 --> 00:30:38,883
All part of me worldly charm, innit?
582
00:30:38,966 --> 00:30:41,135
Oh, that's what they call it, is it?
583
00:30:41,218 --> 00:30:42,511
What's the matter with you, eh?
584
00:30:42,595 --> 00:30:44,722
You forgotten what it's like?
585
00:30:44,847 --> 00:30:46,474
He thinks he invented sex.
586
00:30:46,807 --> 00:30:49,143
- Hello, Joe.
- Hello, Dora.
587
00:30:54,315 --> 00:30:56,901
- Haven't seen you for a while.
- Been busy, ain't I?
588
00:30:56,942 --> 00:30:58,736
Two dog rolls, two teas.
589
00:30:58,819 --> 00:31:02,031
The way he carries on, I'm surprised
it ain't dropped off by now.
590
00:31:02,156 --> 00:31:03,866
Go on. You're just jealous.
591
00:31:03,991 --> 00:31:07,286
Ah, like hell. You get to my age,
you've done it all, ain't ya?
592
00:31:07,370 --> 00:31:09,246
I get to your age,
I'll need to have done.
593
00:31:09,330 --> 00:31:11,248
Ah, get lost, mate.
594
00:31:11,332 --> 00:31:14,835
You reckon that's all there is
to this job, don't you? Pulling birds.
595
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:17,213
And what do you reckon
it's all about, then?
596
00:31:17,296 --> 00:31:19,131
You're all the bloody same.
597
00:31:19,256 --> 00:31:22,093
Out on the road for a couple of years,
think you know it all.
598
00:31:22,176 --> 00:31:24,136
- You'll find out.
- Yeah?
599
00:31:24,220 --> 00:31:25,930
How's that dreadful brother of yours?
600
00:31:26,013 --> 00:31:27,223
What? Peter?
601
00:31:27,264 --> 00:31:28,599
Dreadful.
602
00:31:29,975 --> 00:31:32,395
- What do you fancy, then?
- What do you think?
603
00:31:32,478 --> 00:31:34,897
- Give us a dog roll, will you?
- One dog roll.
604
00:31:35,314 --> 00:31:36,982
He's gonna get done
one of these days,
605
00:31:37,066 --> 00:31:38,066
the way he carries on.
606
00:31:38,150 --> 00:31:40,486
More than likely.
Still, I shan't be there to see it.
607
00:31:40,569 --> 00:31:42,363
Moved out.
Couldn't stand it any longer.
608
00:31:42,446 --> 00:31:43,697
Got me own place now.
609
00:31:43,781 --> 00:31:46,826
- Moved in with Carol, have you?
- Not bloody likely.
610
00:31:46,951 --> 00:31:49,537
Yeah? When are you gonna
invite me round, then?
611
00:31:49,620 --> 00:31:51,163
Any time you like, darlin'.
612
00:31:51,622 --> 00:31:53,165
Well, I'm free tonight.
613
00:31:53,249 --> 00:31:55,543
Funny you should say that.
So am I.
614
00:31:55,584 --> 00:31:57,837
- Pick you up about seven, right?
- Right.
615
00:32:13,811 --> 00:32:17,773
Joe, if I let you, you know...
616
00:32:17,857 --> 00:32:20,025
You wouldn't think me cheap,
would you?
617
00:32:20,151 --> 00:32:21,277
Cheap?
618
00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:23,154
No, 'course not.
619
00:32:23,279 --> 00:32:25,781
Drinking double gins all evening.
620
00:32:26,699 --> 00:32:29,618
'Course not.
It's being emotionally honest.
621
00:32:29,702 --> 00:32:31,120
What could be wrong with that?
622
00:32:31,245 --> 00:32:34,123
Besides, with a fabulous figure
like you got,
623
00:32:34,206 --> 00:32:37,668
it'd be criminal to hide it away,
now, wouldn't it?
624
00:32:40,463 --> 00:32:42,381
I'll tell you something,
625
00:32:42,423 --> 00:32:44,967
you've got the most
beautiful breasts I've ever seen.
626
00:32:45,134 --> 00:32:46,927
Have I?
627
00:32:47,011 --> 00:32:50,181
- I have dreams about them.
- You don't. Really?
628
00:33:00,107 --> 00:33:02,193
I'll tell you something else, too,
629
00:33:02,276 --> 00:33:03,986
they're even better
with nothing on.
630
00:33:31,555 --> 00:33:33,432
Oh, Joe...
631
00:33:40,314 --> 00:33:42,775
Oh, oh...
632
00:33:48,864 --> 00:33:50,282
Oh, Joe...
633
00:33:50,991 --> 00:33:54,245
Oh, darling, you're fantastic.
634
00:33:55,871 --> 00:33:58,916
But I haven't even
got me trousers off yet.
635
00:33:59,166 --> 00:34:00,834
Oh...
636
00:34:01,377 --> 00:34:02,920
Joe...
637
00:34:28,279 --> 00:34:30,573
What a scene that was last night!
638
00:34:31,323 --> 00:34:33,701
Makes you wonder whether
it's all worthwhile, don't it?
639
00:34:33,742 --> 00:34:37,121
Just got to deliver this parcel.
Should be fairly straightforward.
640
00:34:37,246 --> 00:34:40,374
Well, I don't think I could take
any more excitement, not for a while.
641
00:34:50,134 --> 00:34:51,885
Mrs Devere Barker?
642
00:34:51,969 --> 00:34:53,512
Parcel for you.
643
00:34:53,971 --> 00:34:55,723
Oh. Mmm.
644
00:34:55,806 --> 00:34:57,683
Bring it in, would you?
645
00:35:05,608 --> 00:35:09,278
Oh, if you'd just like to
pop it down over there.
646
00:35:09,361 --> 00:35:11,780
I daren't touch it, you see.
It's my nails.
647
00:35:11,822 --> 00:35:14,366
- It's your what, love?
- Nails.
648
00:35:14,450 --> 00:35:17,661
Tropical Green, number three.
649
00:35:17,745 --> 00:35:19,121
Very exotic.
650
00:35:19,204 --> 00:35:21,084
The second they're dry,
I'll be able to pay you,
651
00:35:21,206 --> 00:35:23,834
only I just daren't touch anything
while they're like this.
652
00:35:23,917 --> 00:35:26,462
No, it's all right, you just
stand there and dry off.
653
00:35:26,503 --> 00:35:28,297
- I'm in no hurry.
- Oh.
654
00:35:28,380 --> 00:35:30,661
You wouldn't like a drink
while you're waiting, would you?
655
00:35:30,716 --> 00:35:33,218
No, thanks, I'm driving.
But thanks, all the same.
656
00:35:33,302 --> 00:35:35,929
Oh, not even a cold beer,
something like that?
657
00:35:36,013 --> 00:35:37,640
Well, I wouldn't
mind a beer, actually.
658
00:35:37,723 --> 00:35:40,351
Oh, do help yourself.
659
00:35:45,356 --> 00:35:47,358
Actually, darling,
you couldn't do me
660
00:35:47,441 --> 00:35:50,653
a large Campari and soda,
could you, while you're there?
661
00:35:50,736 --> 00:35:52,279
Yeah.
662
00:35:53,197 --> 00:35:55,324
- A large one?
- Yes, please.
663
00:35:58,702 --> 00:36:00,537
- Say when.
- I never do.
664
00:36:06,543 --> 00:36:11,090
Oh, be an angel, would you,
and just slip it between my lips?
665
00:36:11,215 --> 00:36:13,550
Oh, the glass.
Yes, of course.
666
00:36:15,719 --> 00:36:17,221
Mmm.
667
00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:19,973
Sorry to put you
to all this inconvenience.
668
00:36:20,057 --> 00:36:21,100
Don't mention it.
669
00:36:21,141 --> 00:36:24,561
It's just I always seem to get
caught out when someone arrives.
670
00:36:24,645 --> 00:36:27,815
Yesterday, it was
the television repairman.
671
00:36:27,940 --> 00:36:29,566
The day before,
it was the plumber,
672
00:36:29,650 --> 00:36:32,861
and, as for the window cleaner,
well, every time he comes now,
673
00:36:32,903 --> 00:36:36,198
- I seem to be in the bath.
- I see.
674
00:36:36,407 --> 00:36:39,284
Oh, you wouldn't be an angel,
would you, and...
675
00:36:39,576 --> 00:36:41,036
undo it for me?
676
00:36:42,079 --> 00:36:42,955
Mmm.
677
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:45,165
It's for a dinner tonight.
678
00:36:45,249 --> 00:36:46,834
My husband's in cement.
679
00:36:46,917 --> 00:36:48,919
Oh? Must be uncomfortable for him.
680
00:36:49,002 --> 00:36:53,048
It's a presentation dinner, you see,
so I thought I'd wear green
681
00:36:53,132 --> 00:36:55,300
to go with my nail varnish.
682
00:36:55,342 --> 00:36:56,760
- Very nice.
- Mmm.
683
00:36:58,011 --> 00:37:01,724
Seems to be all right now.
You're not in a rush, are you?
684
00:37:01,807 --> 00:37:05,811
It's just I'd like to try it on
to make sure it fits.
685
00:37:05,894 --> 00:37:09,064
- No, no, of course not.
- Oh. Good.
686
00:37:16,196 --> 00:37:18,115
Some gaff this, innit?
687
00:37:18,198 --> 00:37:19,950
Must cost a packet.
688
00:37:20,284 --> 00:37:21,952
I bet she does, and all.
689
00:37:22,619 --> 00:37:26,623
Make yourself at home, won't you?
I shan't be long.
690
00:37:26,707 --> 00:37:28,333
What about her, then?
691
00:37:28,417 --> 00:37:30,127
Bit of all right.
692
00:37:30,878 --> 00:37:35,215
"Shan't be long.
My husband's in cement." Bloody hell.
693
00:37:46,935 --> 00:37:49,646
Have you lost something?
694
00:37:50,522 --> 00:37:51,648
Balls.
695
00:37:51,732 --> 00:37:53,901
Er... They fell off.
696
00:37:53,942 --> 00:37:56,820
Oh. Never mind.
697
00:37:57,446 --> 00:37:59,656
You couldn't give me a hand
with the zip, could you?
698
00:37:59,740 --> 00:38:03,368
It seems to be stuck, and I
don't want to break a nail on it.
699
00:38:03,452 --> 00:38:05,496
These birds and their zips.
700
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:08,540
Jesus.
701
00:38:08,582 --> 00:38:10,250
It's a bit stiff.
702
00:38:10,834 --> 00:38:13,504
It won't be the only thing
if she carries on like this.
703
00:38:14,296 --> 00:38:16,924
Yeah, I see what you mean.
It is stuck, isn't it?
704
00:38:17,007 --> 00:38:18,634
Maybe if you pull it?
705
00:38:18,717 --> 00:38:21,053
That had crossed my mind.
706
00:38:21,136 --> 00:38:23,347
- Have you done it?
- Yeah, I think so.
707
00:38:23,472 --> 00:38:25,808
Oh. Seems a bit loose.
708
00:38:25,891 --> 00:38:28,060
Oh. Look at that.
Just look at it.
709
00:38:28,101 --> 00:38:30,395
That's just so typical
of today's workmanship.
710
00:38:30,479 --> 00:38:33,232
That's the last dress
I shall buy from there.
711
00:38:34,066 --> 00:38:35,734
Yeah, disgraceful.
712
00:38:35,818 --> 00:38:37,653
Now, what shall I do?
713
00:38:44,034 --> 00:38:47,287
Well, it was the only thing
I could think of, wasn't it?
714
00:39:42,718 --> 00:39:44,261
Another satisfied customer.
715
00:39:44,344 --> 00:39:46,638
And the dress did fit, after all.
716
00:39:47,306 --> 00:39:48,640
Six pou...
717
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:52,603
I suppose I can't really ask her
for me fare now.
718
00:40:14,041 --> 00:40:16,376
I promised that Nikki
I'd pick her up from the club.
719
00:40:16,460 --> 00:40:19,838
Mustn't be late, in case
she sets that snake on to me.
720
00:40:19,922 --> 00:40:22,007
This is the one, I think.
721
00:40:46,657 --> 00:40:48,158
How about it, then, guv?
722
00:40:48,241 --> 00:40:50,786
Twelve beautiful girls,
do everything.
723
00:40:50,911 --> 00:40:53,664
All naked and they dance.
724
00:40:53,914 --> 00:40:56,541
- Hey, where do you think you're going?
- Inside.
725
00:40:56,583 --> 00:40:58,085
Not without paying, you're not.
726
00:40:58,168 --> 00:40:59,808
Oh, I'm not goin' in,
not to see the show.
727
00:40:59,836 --> 00:41:01,713
I'm just pickin' up Nikki, that's all.
728
00:41:01,797 --> 00:41:03,632
Yeah.
You and a few others.
729
00:41:03,715 --> 00:41:06,969
No, honest. I'm a cab driver.
Look, me cab's just outside.
730
00:41:07,052 --> 00:41:09,054
Nah, could be anyone's.
731
00:41:09,179 --> 00:41:11,783
Look, if you think you're gonna
gain admittance here without paying,
732
00:41:11,807 --> 00:41:12,951
you've got another think
coming to ya.
733
00:41:12,975 --> 00:41:15,227
I'm telling you,
I'm only here to collect Nikki.
734
00:41:15,394 --> 00:41:18,289
I mean, do us a favour, mate. I'll
give you me licence number if you like.
735
00:41:18,313 --> 00:41:19,856
You can check it.
736
00:41:19,940 --> 00:41:22,776
I know all the taxi drivers round
here, mate. I don't know your face.
737
00:41:22,859 --> 00:41:24,796
Well, that's 'cause
I don't normally do this patch.
738
00:41:24,820 --> 00:41:28,782
I'm only here to collect Nikki.
I live in the same flat as her, see?
739
00:41:30,117 --> 00:41:33,120
You're not the one
who went to bed with Monty?
740
00:41:33,203 --> 00:41:35,622
Oh, God!
741
00:41:35,664 --> 00:41:39,710
What, by accident, was it?
Or did you need the help?
742
00:41:40,502 --> 00:41:42,587
Go on. Get down.
743
00:41:58,687 --> 00:41:59,938
Sorry, mate.
744
00:42:31,553 --> 00:42:33,680
Joe, would you mind hangin' on
just a minute?
745
00:42:33,764 --> 00:42:35,432
I've just gotta nip back
and get Monty.
746
00:42:35,515 --> 00:42:37,142
- No rush.
- Okay.
747
00:43:13,053 --> 00:43:14,971
- Okay?
- What?
748
00:43:15,055 --> 00:43:16,598
You comin' or not?
749
00:43:16,681 --> 00:43:18,934
Well, if you're not quite ready,
I don't mind.
750
00:43:27,317 --> 00:43:29,820
- That's Helga.
- Oh?
751
00:43:30,779 --> 00:43:35,075
You can put your eyeballs back in.
I've invited her for supper tonight.
752
00:43:35,158 --> 00:43:36,910
Foreign, is she?
753
00:43:37,410 --> 00:43:38,662
No.
754
00:43:38,703 --> 00:43:40,747
She's a nun from Scunthorpe.
755
00:43:40,872 --> 00:43:42,165
Come on.
756
00:43:48,171 --> 00:43:49,798
- That was lovely, Nikki.
- Mmm.
757
00:43:49,881 --> 00:43:51,424
Oh, it was nothing special.
758
00:43:51,550 --> 00:43:53,093
Oh, I enjoyed it.
759
00:43:53,635 --> 00:43:54,553
Now, what?
760
00:43:54,636 --> 00:43:56,155
Oh, I've got
some yoghurt in the fridge.
761
00:43:56,179 --> 00:43:58,473
- No, I meant what shall we do now?
- You decide.
762
00:43:58,557 --> 00:44:01,143
Why don't we play a game? Hmm?
763
00:44:01,226 --> 00:44:02,894
What about strip poker?
764
00:44:06,731 --> 00:44:10,026
Oh, come on, it might be fun.
What do you say, Tom?
765
00:44:10,152 --> 00:44:11,903
No. He doesn't want to play.
766
00:44:11,987 --> 00:44:14,072
Oh, come on.
Just for a giggle.
767
00:44:14,156 --> 00:44:17,993
- Got any cards?
- Cards? Er... No.
768
00:44:19,786 --> 00:44:23,081
Well, how about spinning
the bottle instead? Hmm?
769
00:44:25,876 --> 00:44:27,043
Okay.
770
00:44:29,129 --> 00:44:31,464
Well, I think I'll read my book.
771
00:44:32,966 --> 00:44:35,166
We could always play
strip ouija board, if you'd prefer?
772
00:44:35,218 --> 00:44:37,596
Ouija board? What ouija board?
773
00:44:37,679 --> 00:44:39,890
No, let's spin the bottle.
774
00:46:09,187 --> 00:46:11,356
Um... I'll get it.
775
00:46:19,823 --> 00:46:21,866
Where's Joe?
I came to see him.
776
00:46:21,992 --> 00:46:24,369
Oh. Er... He's not in.
He's out.
777
00:46:24,452 --> 00:46:26,621
No. His taxi's here.
778
00:46:26,663 --> 00:46:28,915
It's all right.
He is expecting me.
779
00:46:37,299 --> 00:46:39,134
Hello. I'm Carol.
780
00:46:39,217 --> 00:46:41,594
Carol Hotchkiss.
Joe's fiancée.
781
00:46:41,803 --> 00:46:45,557
I expect he's spoken of me.
Which is his room? That one?
782
00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:47,517
Thank you, dear.
783
00:46:53,315 --> 00:46:56,026
Carol!
Listen, I can explain.
784
00:47:02,365 --> 00:47:05,910
It's the third house along,
on the right. Number 42.
785
00:47:06,036 --> 00:47:07,704
Right you are.
786
00:47:08,371 --> 00:47:09,664
Do you want a hand with those?
787
00:47:09,789 --> 00:47:11,791
Would you? Oh, thank you.
788
00:47:35,607 --> 00:47:37,025
You can just put them down here.
789
00:47:37,192 --> 00:47:39,295
Oh, that's all right.
I don't mind carrying them in for ya.
790
00:47:39,319 --> 00:47:41,363
That's very kind of you.
791
00:47:49,412 --> 00:47:52,123
- I can't find my key.
- Are you sure?
792
00:47:52,207 --> 00:47:54,542
Perhaps it's in your bag, loose?
793
00:47:54,626 --> 00:47:55,960
I'll try.
794
00:48:02,967 --> 00:48:04,427
It's not there.
795
00:48:05,845 --> 00:48:08,515
- What about pockets?
- I haven't got any.
796
00:48:08,973 --> 00:48:10,433
What am I going to do?
797
00:48:10,517 --> 00:48:13,395
Perhaps you could go to a neighbour's
till your husband gets home.
798
00:48:13,478 --> 00:48:17,399
He's away. On a business trip.
I can't even get hold of him.
799
00:48:18,316 --> 00:48:19,692
Don't you have a spare somewhere?
800
00:48:19,776 --> 00:48:21,319
- Yes, of course.
- Oh, well, then.
801
00:48:21,403 --> 00:48:22,737
It's inside.
802
00:48:22,821 --> 00:48:25,365
I thought you might have one
under a flower pot or something.
803
00:48:25,448 --> 00:48:27,409
Harold, that's my husband,
804
00:48:27,492 --> 00:48:29,994
Harold's nervous
about burglars getting in.
805
00:48:30,078 --> 00:48:32,580
All very well,
but how do I get in?
806
00:48:32,664 --> 00:48:35,041
I could try to climb in,
I suppose.
807
00:48:35,125 --> 00:48:37,794
But you'll have to help me.
You will, won't you?
808
00:48:38,670 --> 00:48:41,047
I can't leave
a lady in distress, can I?
809
00:48:43,258 --> 00:48:45,260
Let's see if there's
a window open somewhere.
810
00:48:45,301 --> 00:48:47,220
Oh, there won't be one of those.
811
00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:39,022
Thank you.
812
00:49:41,274 --> 00:49:43,234
You will be careful, won't you?
813
00:49:43,359 --> 00:49:45,361
Safe as houses, darlin'.
814
00:49:56,289 --> 00:49:57,957
Are you all right?
815
00:49:58,875 --> 00:50:00,001
What's happened?
816
00:50:00,502 --> 00:50:01,836
Are you all right?
817
00:50:02,712 --> 00:50:04,839
Say something, please.
818
00:50:06,841 --> 00:50:08,760
What's happening up there?
819
00:50:12,222 --> 00:50:13,973
I didn't know
what had happened to you.
820
00:50:14,057 --> 00:50:16,434
I called and called,
but you didn't answer.
821
00:50:16,684 --> 00:50:19,187
- Are you all right?
- Yeah, I think so.
822
00:50:19,312 --> 00:50:21,523
Look, you go down and
I'll open the front door.
823
00:50:21,689 --> 00:50:24,150
I can't. I'm stuck.
824
00:50:24,234 --> 00:50:26,694
What do you mean, stuck?
Just go back down the way you came.
825
00:50:26,778 --> 00:50:28,947
I can't.
I daren't look down.
826
00:50:29,072 --> 00:50:31,074
I'll fall.
I'm frightened of heights.
827
00:50:31,199 --> 00:50:32,575
Look, it's quite simple.
828
00:50:32,659 --> 00:50:35,036
If you can't go down,
you'd better come on up.
829
00:50:35,119 --> 00:50:36,663
I can't move. I'm scared.
830
00:50:36,746 --> 00:50:39,040
All right, then, go back down
the way you came.
831
00:50:39,499 --> 00:50:40,750
Help me.
832
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:42,502
All right. Now, don't panic.
833
00:50:42,627 --> 00:50:45,380
You're quite safe.
Just do as I say. Okay?
834
00:50:45,421 --> 00:50:48,216
Now, put one hand
on the next rung up.
835
00:50:48,299 --> 00:50:49,384
Go on, one more.
836
00:50:49,467 --> 00:50:51,386
Now the other one.
837
00:50:51,511 --> 00:50:52,845
Keep going. You're okay.
838
00:50:52,929 --> 00:50:56,641
I'm watchin' ya. Up a bit.
No, down, just a little.
839
00:50:56,724 --> 00:50:57,767
Now, in.
840
00:50:57,850 --> 00:50:59,686
Towards the wall, that's it.
841
00:50:59,769 --> 00:51:01,980
Go on, you're doing fine.
Come on.
842
00:51:02,230 --> 00:51:03,481
Er...
843
00:51:03,565 --> 00:51:05,858
It's all right, you're nearly there.
844
00:51:05,900 --> 00:51:08,194
That's it.
Now, give me your hand.
845
00:51:08,403 --> 00:51:09,320
Lovely.
846
00:51:09,404 --> 00:51:12,865
- I can't put my feet...
- Oh, you're doing wonderful.
847
00:51:13,825 --> 00:51:16,786
There ya go. You're there
848
00:51:16,911 --> 00:51:21,165
- Through the window...
- Oh. Oh.
849
00:51:21,249 --> 00:51:23,960
Oh!
Oh, you're all wet.
850
00:51:25,837 --> 00:51:27,130
I should have warned you.
851
00:51:27,213 --> 00:51:29,591
- Oh, I'm sorry. I completely forgot.
- Yeah, well.
852
00:51:29,674 --> 00:51:31,318
And, of course, that's why
I left the window open,
853
00:51:31,342 --> 00:51:33,011
to let the smell of paint out.
854
00:51:33,803 --> 00:51:35,138
Oh, and look at your clothes.
855
00:51:35,221 --> 00:51:36,931
They're covered in it.
856
00:51:37,015 --> 00:51:38,534
Oh, you have to let me
wash them for you.
857
00:51:38,558 --> 00:51:39,618
You can't go out like that.
858
00:51:39,642 --> 00:51:41,644
Oh, well, that's, er...
very nice of you to offer.
859
00:51:41,728 --> 00:51:43,789
Well, I think the least I can do
is clean your clothes
860
00:51:43,813 --> 00:51:46,190
and give you a bath, don't you?
861
00:51:51,613 --> 00:51:54,490
I do like huge bubbly ones, don't you?
862
00:51:54,574 --> 00:51:55,742
Yeah.
863
00:51:56,909 --> 00:51:58,703
That's about right, now.
864
00:52:00,538 --> 00:52:03,541
- Oh, I can't wait to get in.
- Neither can I.
865
00:52:04,125 --> 00:52:06,377
Bubbles make me
go all tingly all over.
866
00:52:06,711 --> 00:52:08,421
You as well?
867
00:52:13,926 --> 00:52:17,430
Ooh, it feels all lovely.
All tingly.
868
00:52:17,513 --> 00:52:18,973
What a way to go!
869
00:52:31,986 --> 00:52:33,446
Marion?
870
00:52:53,841 --> 00:52:55,510
Marion!
871
00:53:01,349 --> 00:53:03,643
Marion, where are you?
872
00:53:04,227 --> 00:53:06,104
- Hide!
- Marion, you in the bath?
873
00:53:07,063 --> 00:53:09,190
Ah, there you are.
Didn't you hear me shouting?
874
00:53:09,273 --> 00:53:13,111
Oh, darling, what a lovely surprise.
I wasn't expecting you.
875
00:53:13,194 --> 00:53:15,738
What a complete shambles.
The whole trip.
876
00:53:15,822 --> 00:53:18,282
Oh, you poor love.
Why don't you go downstairs,
877
00:53:18,366 --> 00:53:20,702
put your feet up, and pour
yourself out a nice long drink,
878
00:53:20,785 --> 00:53:23,162
and I'll join you, and you
can tell me all about it.
879
00:53:23,287 --> 00:53:24,789
Well, there's nothing to tell.
880
00:53:24,872 --> 00:53:27,500
The entire fiasco was predictable
from start to finish,
881
00:53:27,625 --> 00:53:29,061
and you know
who's responsible, don't you?
882
00:53:29,085 --> 00:53:32,255
- Well, I told 'em, I warned 'em.
- Yes, you did.
883
00:53:32,422 --> 00:53:34,757
"You put Peters in as
Acting Managing Director,
884
00:53:34,841 --> 00:53:37,552
"and you've got nothing but trouble
on your hands," I said.
885
00:53:37,635 --> 00:53:40,346
"He can't cope with responsibility,
886
00:53:40,471 --> 00:53:42,265
"he's got no initiative,
887
00:53:42,390 --> 00:53:44,142
"runs a Ford Anglia,
and doesn't play golf.
888
00:53:44,225 --> 00:53:45,893
"You mark my words."
889
00:53:46,018 --> 00:53:48,229
Well, I've been
proved right yet again.
890
00:53:48,354 --> 00:53:50,273
Oh, that's wonderful.
891
00:53:50,356 --> 00:53:51,916
Now, why don't you
just go downstairs...
892
00:53:51,941 --> 00:53:53,443
"Wonderful"?
893
00:53:53,526 --> 00:53:56,279
It's frustrating.
Well, it's... it's insulting.
894
00:53:56,362 --> 00:53:58,239
Oh, I quite agree.
895
00:53:58,322 --> 00:54:00,122
Now, why don't you
just let me finish my bath,
896
00:54:00,199 --> 00:54:02,201
and I'll be straight with you?
897
00:54:02,952 --> 00:54:05,329
Yes, I...
I could do with a drink.
898
00:54:09,083 --> 00:54:10,752
- What was that?
- Nothing.
899
00:54:10,835 --> 00:54:12,879
Just knocked the plug, that's all.
900
00:54:13,129 --> 00:54:14,547
Oh.
901
00:54:16,549 --> 00:54:18,885
Oh, darling, um...
can I get you anything?
902
00:54:18,968 --> 00:54:20,303
- What?
- To drink.
903
00:54:20,386 --> 00:54:23,765
- No, just go downstairs and I'll be...
- Marion, is it really necessary
904
00:54:23,848 --> 00:54:26,309
to use all that much bubble bath?
905
00:54:26,809 --> 00:54:29,246
You only bought this last week
and you've already finished it.
906
00:54:29,270 --> 00:54:31,689
You really must be
more careful in future.
907
00:54:31,773 --> 00:54:34,150
I can't afford
extravagance of this sort.
908
00:54:34,233 --> 00:54:37,069
I mean, how you expect me
to raise your housekeeping allowance
909
00:54:37,153 --> 00:54:41,199
in the face of such flagrant wastage,
I really don't know.
910
00:54:41,699 --> 00:54:43,701
Really must pull yourself
together, you know.
911
00:54:43,743 --> 00:54:45,745
You're getting very careless lately.
912
00:54:45,912 --> 00:54:48,706
Won't do, you know.
No, won't do.
913
00:54:49,749 --> 00:54:51,584
It's all right.
914
00:54:53,085 --> 00:54:54,754
Marion, I meant to ask you,
915
00:54:54,837 --> 00:54:57,256
what on earth have you been
doing in the bedroom?
916
00:54:57,381 --> 00:55:00,218
There's paint all over the place.
It's a terrible mess.
917
00:55:00,301 --> 00:55:03,262
It's the decorators.
It was meant to be a surprise.
918
00:55:03,429 --> 00:55:07,058
Surprise? I should think the only
surprise I'd get would be the bill.
919
00:55:07,141 --> 00:55:09,261
Don't suppose you've thought
to get an estimate first?
920
00:55:09,310 --> 00:55:13,272
- Oh, Harold...
- Never mind. Don't upset yourself.
921
00:55:13,356 --> 00:55:16,067
I mean...
No, I expect you...
922
00:55:16,484 --> 00:55:18,986
You meant well,
yes, like Peters.
923
00:55:19,111 --> 00:55:21,781
He meant well, I expect,
incompetent clodhopper.
924
00:55:21,906 --> 00:55:23,741
But the Board, listen?
Would they listen?
925
00:55:23,825 --> 00:55:27,036
Please, Harold,
the water's getting cold.
926
00:55:27,119 --> 00:55:29,580
Oh. Ah. Yes. Well, er...
927
00:55:29,872 --> 00:55:32,124
Yes, well, you have your bath
and, um...
928
00:55:32,500 --> 00:55:34,544
don't you worry about a thing.
929
00:55:34,669 --> 00:55:37,171
No, it was a...
a lovely surprise
930
00:55:37,255 --> 00:55:39,590
to find paint
all over the bedroom.
931
00:55:40,049 --> 00:55:42,301
Yes, I think I do need a drink.
932
00:55:42,510 --> 00:55:45,304
It's all right now.
It's all right now.
933
00:55:45,847 --> 00:55:47,431
Come on, quick!
934
00:55:56,774 --> 00:56:00,361
I brought you a drink, darling.
I thought you might like one.
935
00:56:00,778 --> 00:56:03,823
Oh, you mustn't stand about like that,
not with the window open.
936
00:56:03,906 --> 00:56:06,701
Oh, no, no.
Catch your death.
937
00:57:12,266 --> 00:57:13,809
Sorry, mate, I'm not, um...
938
00:57:13,893 --> 00:57:15,811
St Mary's Convent, Upton Road.
939
00:57:15,895 --> 00:57:17,438
Yeah, but...
940
00:57:29,992 --> 00:57:31,535
Of all the rotten luck.
941
00:57:31,619 --> 00:57:33,579
Anyone else but a nun.
942
00:57:33,621 --> 00:57:36,916
I couldn't very well tell her
to eff off, now, could I?
943
00:57:46,926 --> 00:57:50,262
I wonder if I could trouble you
to help me with my cases?
944
00:58:37,351 --> 00:58:38,894
Oh, I thought
I heard you come in.
945
00:58:39,020 --> 00:58:41,147
It's costin' me a bloody fortune
in jeans, this job.
946
00:58:41,313 --> 00:58:43,691
- How come?
- I keep losin' 'em.
947
00:58:43,774 --> 00:58:46,003
Oh, by the way, your brother
phoned up while you were out.
948
00:58:46,027 --> 00:58:47,528
- What, Peter?
- Yeah.
949
00:58:47,653 --> 00:58:49,881
He said something about having
a whole lot of television sets.
950
00:58:49,905 --> 00:58:52,700
- Did we need one?
- Bloody hell!
951
00:58:53,075 --> 00:58:54,618
Why?
What's the matter?
952
00:58:54,660 --> 00:58:57,163
Look, if he phones up again,
tell him, er...
953
00:58:57,246 --> 00:58:59,582
I don't know, tell him
I've left the country, anything.
954
00:58:59,665 --> 00:59:01,184
Why? You don't want
to speak to him, then?
955
00:59:01,208 --> 00:59:02,918
Not if I can avoid it.
956
00:59:03,002 --> 00:59:04,438
I've got enough problems
in me own life
957
00:59:04,462 --> 00:59:06,964
without getting lumbered with him
and his thieving.
958
00:59:07,048 --> 00:59:08,942
I may, er... get into a few scrapes
now and again,
959
00:59:08,966 --> 00:59:11,086
but that's one thing
I've always stayed well clear of,
960
00:59:11,135 --> 00:59:12,678
crime and all that.
961
00:59:34,075 --> 00:59:37,286
You know
what this is, buddy? It's a gun.
962
00:59:41,540 --> 00:59:42,666
Just keep your mouth shut.
963
00:59:42,792 --> 00:59:44,392
Do as you're told
and you won't get hurt.
964
00:59:44,418 --> 00:59:47,505
- Yeah, but...
- I said, "shut up and get going!"
965
00:59:48,214 --> 00:59:52,510
Now, make one wrong move,
and you're dead. Understand?
966
00:59:53,886 --> 00:59:56,847
Just stick to the driving,
keep your eyes on the road,
967
00:59:56,972 --> 00:59:59,725
and you and me'll
get along just fine.
968
00:59:59,809 --> 01:00:03,729
Now, drive south,
and no funny business.
969
01:00:03,813 --> 01:00:05,689
I know this town
like I know my own face.
970
01:00:05,773 --> 01:00:08,001
If you ask me, we should have
rubbed her out there and then.
971
01:00:08,025 --> 01:00:09,652
Don't get no troubles with a stiff.
972
01:00:09,735 --> 01:00:12,071
Nobody's askin' ya, so shut up!
973
01:00:12,238 --> 01:00:14,156
Supposin' her old man
wants to talk to her?
974
01:00:14,240 --> 01:00:17,743
Ain't nobody going to pay
no ransom for a stiff, dumb-head.
975
01:00:17,827 --> 01:00:21,455
We got to keep her alive
to get the dough. Do you get it?
976
01:00:21,539 --> 01:00:22,915
Yeah.
977
01:00:22,998 --> 01:00:25,638
Yeah, but she's already seen us,
so why bother with all this stuff?
978
01:00:25,793 --> 01:00:27,461
So when we call up her old man,
979
01:00:27,503 --> 01:00:29,421
you want her to tell him
where we stashed her?
980
01:00:29,505 --> 01:00:32,049
Oh, get it through that
thick skull of yours, dumb-head.
981
01:00:32,133 --> 01:00:35,469
What she don't know,
she can't tell. Okay?
982
01:00:36,303 --> 01:00:37,721
Then we rub her out.
983
01:00:37,847 --> 01:00:40,558
Just stick to the road, pal,
like I told ya.
984
01:00:40,641 --> 01:00:43,519
- Why don't we rub her out?
- Shut that moron up, will ya?
985
01:00:43,602 --> 01:00:45,646
Do a right... now!
986
01:00:48,315 --> 01:00:52,486
Listen, birdbrain, we don't snuff her
unless there's no other way.
987
01:00:52,570 --> 01:00:54,029
What if something goes wrong?
988
01:00:54,113 --> 01:00:56,407
So long as you follow orders,
nothing will.
989
01:00:56,490 --> 01:00:58,701
Now, take the next turning
on the left.
990
01:00:58,784 --> 01:01:01,537
And keep it real cool and steady.
991
01:01:02,371 --> 01:01:05,124
I am gonna do something.
Soon as I get the chance.
992
01:01:05,249 --> 01:01:07,329
Bit difficult with a gun
pointing at my head, though.
993
01:01:12,840 --> 01:01:16,051
Okay, buddy, turn left,
through those gates.
994
01:01:23,684 --> 01:01:24,935
Keep goin'.
995
01:01:28,063 --> 01:01:29,648
Further.
996
01:01:29,732 --> 01:01:31,901
Ah, that's it.
Now, pull up!
997
01:01:34,069 --> 01:01:36,071
Get that broad out of the cab.
998
01:01:36,155 --> 01:01:38,157
Here, didn't we ought to
rub him out, too?
999
01:01:38,240 --> 01:01:40,701
I mean, what's to stop him
shooting his mouth off?
1000
01:01:40,826 --> 01:01:44,955
Okay, buddy. Out of the cab.
Nice and easy, now.
1001
01:01:45,497 --> 01:01:47,791
No sudden moves,
or this baby goes off.
1002
01:01:48,709 --> 01:01:52,463
All right, buddy. Out of the cab.
Now, keep it cool.
1003
01:01:52,546 --> 01:01:55,841
Put your hands on your head.
Now, turn around.
1004
01:01:55,925 --> 01:01:57,384
Come on, turn around!
1005
01:01:57,509 --> 01:01:59,678
Now, get movin'.
Turn around.
1006
01:02:13,484 --> 01:02:14,818
Get up.
1007
01:02:27,539 --> 01:02:29,500
Come on, hands against the wall.
1008
01:02:37,341 --> 01:02:39,343
Look.
Come on, you can relax now.
1009
01:02:39,426 --> 01:02:41,929
Look at him, he fell for it!
1010
01:02:42,596 --> 01:02:44,974
I don't believe it!
Look at his face.
1011
01:02:46,809 --> 01:02:50,062
I'm sorry if we scared ya.
The whole thing was a joke.
1012
01:02:50,145 --> 01:02:51,438
Everything.
1013
01:02:51,522 --> 01:02:53,857
You see, we were at this party...
1014
01:02:53,941 --> 01:02:55,276
And someone suggested
1015
01:02:55,359 --> 01:02:56,962
that we wouldn't dare
try it in the street.
1016
01:02:56,986 --> 01:02:58,862
And that no cabbie would believe it.
1017
01:02:58,946 --> 01:03:00,906
So they bet us twenty quid to do it.
1018
01:03:01,031 --> 01:03:03,242
- No hard feelings?
- No hard feelings?
1019
01:03:03,325 --> 01:03:06,203
I've been losin' fares
while you've been doing all this.
1020
01:03:11,125 --> 01:03:13,085
Oh, don't forget
to get the paper signed.
1021
01:03:13,168 --> 01:03:15,045
Oh, yes.
I almost forgot about that.
1022
01:03:15,129 --> 01:03:18,215
We had to bring back some kind of
proof that we actually did it.
1023
01:03:18,299 --> 01:03:21,510
Look, do you think you'd mind signing
your name to this bit of paper?
1024
01:03:21,593 --> 01:03:24,930
And, if you could add your cab number,
that would be great.
1025
01:03:33,355 --> 01:03:34,690
Thanks, mate.
1026
01:03:45,159 --> 01:03:47,202
Oh, yeah!
1027
01:03:48,495 --> 01:03:50,581
I can see
1028
01:03:51,081 --> 01:03:53,667
Ain't much use in bein' out
1029
01:03:53,751 --> 01:03:55,586
Bein' so good
1030
01:03:55,919 --> 01:03:58,005
I'm free
1031
01:03:58,797 --> 01:04:00,924
Ain't no love gonna knock me
1032
01:04:01,008 --> 01:04:02,926
Out of my wood
1033
01:04:04,803 --> 01:04:06,889
I can stay
1034
01:04:07,639 --> 01:04:10,476
All you gotta say now
1035
01:04:10,559 --> 01:04:12,519
Tonight
1036
01:04:13,228 --> 01:04:16,690
We're gonna have a good time
1037
01:04:16,982 --> 01:04:20,861
We're gonna have a good time
1038
01:04:21,403 --> 01:04:23,489
It's true
1039
01:04:24,239 --> 01:04:25,991
'Cause this roof is gonna leak
1040
01:04:26,158 --> 01:04:28,410
Get me down off this roof
1041
01:04:28,702 --> 01:04:30,829
It's a lie
1042
01:04:31,538 --> 01:04:33,123
I just can't live
1043
01:04:33,207 --> 01:04:36,126
Right up in the sky now
1044
01:04:37,544 --> 01:04:39,671
I wanna say
1045
01:04:40,297 --> 01:04:43,300
To everyone here today
1046
01:04:43,342 --> 01:04:44,968
It's true
1047
01:04:46,136 --> 01:04:49,765
We're gonna have a good time
1048
01:04:49,848 --> 01:04:53,185
We're gonna have a good time
1049
01:04:57,314 --> 01:04:59,691
- Hello, Maisie.
- Hello, Joe.
1050
01:05:00,692 --> 01:05:04,071
Well, come on, love.
Don't be nervous, I won't bite it off.
1051
01:05:07,950 --> 01:05:09,743
- Where to, darlin'?
- Oh, the usual, love.
1052
01:05:09,868 --> 01:05:11,588
- What, round the block?
- Yeah, that'll do.
1053
01:05:11,620 --> 01:05:13,848
Just keep on drivin'. I'll give you
a yell when I'm finished.
1054
01:05:13,872 --> 01:05:16,333
- Right!
- Here, you heard about Glenda, didn't you?
1055
01:05:17,501 --> 01:05:19,878
Oh, sorry, love.
Be with you in a minute.
1056
01:05:19,962 --> 01:05:21,797
- Glenda?
- Yeah.
1057
01:05:21,880 --> 01:05:23,882
She married an Arab she picked up.
1058
01:05:24,007 --> 01:05:27,302
- I thought I hadn't seen her around.
- Yeah. An Arab.
1059
01:05:27,386 --> 01:05:29,680
- With oil wells and everything.
- No!
1060
01:05:29,763 --> 01:05:33,142
Mind you, it was only a matter of time
before she hooked some old geezer.
1061
01:05:33,225 --> 01:05:35,060
Funny, I'd never have
thought that about her.
1062
01:05:35,144 --> 01:05:36,395
- What, getting married?
- Yeah.
1063
01:05:36,478 --> 01:05:38,021
What, Glenda? You're joking.
1064
01:05:38,105 --> 01:05:41,066
Every time she opened her mouth
a wedding bell popped out.
1065
01:05:43,360 --> 01:05:44,695
So how's business with you?
1066
01:05:44,778 --> 01:05:48,031
Oh, well, it's quietened down a bit
now the tourist season's over,
1067
01:05:48,115 --> 01:05:50,701
but I don't do so bad.
1068
01:05:50,742 --> 01:05:53,704
Tell you what, love, you get it out
and start practising,
1069
01:05:53,829 --> 01:05:55,664
and I'll join you in a minute.
1070
01:05:55,789 --> 01:05:58,500
Here, Joe, could I have
this one on credit?
1071
01:05:58,542 --> 01:06:00,752
You know, I've just had
the electricity bill in...
1072
01:06:00,836 --> 01:06:02,212
Yeah, that's okay.
1073
01:06:02,296 --> 01:06:05,591
Oh, you are lovely.
I'll make it up next time, I promise.
1074
01:06:05,716 --> 01:06:08,260
Nah, don't worry about it.
It's my pleasure.
1075
01:06:08,302 --> 01:06:10,929
I'll tell you what, I didn't half
get a fright the other week.
1076
01:06:11,013 --> 01:06:13,140
I thought I'd
caught a dose, didn't I?
1077
01:06:13,223 --> 01:06:18,228
All right. Don't worry.
You have a very nasty cough there.
1078
01:06:18,312 --> 01:06:21,565
You should get it seen to.
It might be serious.
1079
01:06:21,648 --> 01:06:23,710
That's the fourth one I've had
this week with a cold.
1080
01:06:23,734 --> 01:06:26,069
I only hope to God
I don't go down with it.
1081
01:06:26,153 --> 01:06:27,321
That's my trouble, you know.
1082
01:06:27,446 --> 01:06:29,865
Anything that's goin' the rounds,
I seem to pick up.
1083
01:06:29,990 --> 01:06:31,575
Yeah, I had noticed.
1084
01:06:31,658 --> 01:06:33,994
Anyway, love,
can't sit here chatting all day.
1085
01:06:34,077 --> 01:06:36,079
I've got to get back to work.
1086
01:06:50,677 --> 01:06:51,720
Ah!
1087
01:06:52,513 --> 01:06:54,723
Oh, my God.
1088
01:07:28,674 --> 01:07:31,468
Something tells me
this could be my lucky night.
1089
01:07:31,552 --> 01:07:34,680
- Number 24, you said?
- Twenty-four. Yes.
1090
01:07:35,055 --> 01:07:37,266
Oh, a right little
sex bomb, this one.
1091
01:07:37,391 --> 01:07:39,726
I mean, you can tell
from that voice, can't ya, eh?
1092
01:07:39,810 --> 01:07:42,354
All husky and sexy.
1093
01:07:42,563 --> 01:07:45,899
I reckon this one'll need the smooth,
suave James Bond type chat-up.
1094
01:07:46,191 --> 01:07:47,943
You, er...
1095
01:07:48,068 --> 01:07:50,112
You in the movies, then?
1096
01:07:50,237 --> 01:07:51,530
Sorry?
1097
01:07:51,613 --> 01:07:54,741
No, it's just that I thought
I recognised your face from somewhere.
1098
01:07:54,825 --> 01:07:58,120
I'd swear I'd seen you on the telly
or the pictures, somewhere like that.
1099
01:07:58,203 --> 01:08:00,205
- Possibly.
- I knew it.
1100
01:08:00,289 --> 01:08:05,085
I knew you were in show business.
Are you famous, then?
1101
01:08:05,168 --> 01:08:08,755
Well, if I was, you'd know who I am,
wouldn't you?
1102
01:08:08,839 --> 01:08:10,173
Yeah, well, I do.
It's just that
1103
01:08:10,257 --> 01:08:12,676
your name escapes me
for the moment. That's all.
1104
01:08:12,801 --> 01:08:14,011
Bunny McQueen.
1105
01:08:14,094 --> 01:08:18,724
Bunny McQueen! Of course.
How could I ever forget that?
1106
01:08:19,433 --> 01:08:22,060
Bunny McQueen?
Oh, I get it.
1107
01:08:22,144 --> 01:08:24,980
"Bunny."
Must work at that Playboy Club.
1108
01:08:25,063 --> 01:08:27,024
One of those birds
with long, floppy ears,
1109
01:08:27,107 --> 01:08:28,984
all dressed up like rabbits.
1110
01:08:29,776 --> 01:08:32,321
Yeah, probably been
in that Playboy magazine.
1111
01:08:32,446 --> 01:08:35,741
You know, Playmate of the Month?
1112
01:08:36,158 --> 01:08:39,494
I bet if I looked, I'd find a picture
of you on Tom's garage wall.
1113
01:08:39,578 --> 01:08:42,456
- Who's Tom?
- Oh, he's a guy I live with.
1114
01:08:42,539 --> 01:08:44,833
- Oh, is he nice?
- Yeah, he's all right.
1115
01:08:44,916 --> 01:08:47,586
-He's not as nice as you, though.
1116
01:08:48,003 --> 01:08:50,005
She fancies me, don't she?
1117
01:08:50,088 --> 01:08:52,674
Oh, I'm in here
if I play me cards right.
1118
01:09:03,060 --> 01:09:06,313
-Make yourself at home.
1119
01:09:11,735 --> 01:09:14,029
Sit down. Relax.
1120
01:09:14,363 --> 01:09:18,075
I should sit over there if I were you.
It's more comfortable.
1121
01:09:21,578 --> 01:09:24,331
I'll just, er...
get the wine.
1122
01:09:26,541 --> 01:09:31,254
- There we are.
- Well, here we are, then.
1123
01:09:31,922 --> 01:09:34,299
- Have you been together long?
- What?
1124
01:09:34,383 --> 01:09:37,761
- This boy you live with.
- Oh, Tom. No, just a few weeks.
1125
01:09:37,844 --> 01:09:39,906
Well, we've known each other
for a couple of years now.
1126
01:09:39,930 --> 01:09:41,850
But we've only been living together
a short time.
1127
01:09:41,932 --> 01:09:45,268
Well, he's not going to get jealous,
if he comes back and finds me here?
1128
01:09:45,352 --> 01:09:48,939
No, probably fancy you himself.
1129
01:09:49,648 --> 01:09:51,191
Oh, let me.
1130
01:09:55,237 --> 01:09:57,072
Oh, must need a new flint.
1131
01:09:57,155 --> 01:09:59,574
Hang on, I've got
some matches somewhere.
1132
01:10:06,123 --> 01:10:08,083
Sorry about that.
1133
01:10:21,012 --> 01:10:23,032
I think that's a really great
outfit you're wearin'.
1134
01:10:23,056 --> 01:10:26,977
Oh, do you like it?
I design all my own clothes.
1135
01:10:27,060 --> 01:10:29,020
Yeah, well, it looks terrific.
1136
01:10:29,062 --> 01:10:31,106
I suppose I shouldn't really
be wearing it now,
1137
01:10:31,231 --> 01:10:33,358
but after I finish work
I just want to get away.
1138
01:10:33,483 --> 01:10:35,360
I can't be bothered to change.
1139
01:10:35,444 --> 01:10:38,071
Oh, no, you mustn't change.
I mean, you look great as you are.
1140
01:10:38,155 --> 01:10:42,826
A real turn-on. Honest.
It's a tough one, this.
1141
01:10:43,452 --> 01:10:44,745
Oh, do you want me to do it?
1142
01:10:44,870 --> 01:10:47,539
No, no. It's all right.
I'll get it out in a minute.
1143
01:10:47,581 --> 01:10:49,374
Come on.
Why don't you let me try?
1144
01:10:49,458 --> 01:10:51,877
No, you'll never do it.
1145
01:10:55,380 --> 01:10:58,800
- Have you got the glasses ready?
- What? Oh, yeah.
1146
01:11:02,053 --> 01:11:05,140
Sorry, we're a bit, er...
short on glasses.
1147
01:11:10,687 --> 01:11:13,190
Well, this is very nice.
1148
01:11:13,940 --> 01:11:16,234
-Thank you.
1149
01:11:16,651 --> 01:11:18,737
I think you're very nice.
1150
01:11:18,820 --> 01:11:20,363
You, er...
1151
01:11:20,447 --> 01:11:21,698
comfortable, are you?
1152
01:11:21,782 --> 01:11:23,784
Mmm. Thank you.
1153
01:11:24,117 --> 01:11:26,328
I think you're really something.
1154
01:11:26,411 --> 01:11:27,746
Really, I do.
1155
01:11:29,456 --> 01:11:32,334
I hope you won't mind
if I say this, but, er...
1156
01:11:33,043 --> 01:11:36,171
I think you've got the most
beautifully-shaped breasts I've ever seen.
1157
01:11:36,296 --> 01:11:40,509
- Really beautiful.
- Yes. Yes, they're much better now.
1158
01:11:40,592 --> 01:11:42,677
Mind you, they cost me a fortune.
1159
01:11:42,761 --> 01:11:47,599
So, um... why don't we give them
a little air to breathe, eh?
1160
01:11:52,229 --> 01:11:54,439
You've got lovely legs and all.
1161
01:11:54,523 --> 01:11:55,649
Really lovely.
1162
01:11:55,732 --> 01:11:57,943
I have to shave them, of course.
1163
01:12:00,779 --> 01:12:02,155
Bloody hell!
1164
01:12:02,239 --> 01:12:04,157
- What's the matter?
- You!
1165
01:12:04,282 --> 01:12:06,660
- You're a fella!
- But of course I am.
1166
01:12:06,743 --> 01:12:09,120
What did you think I was?
1167
01:12:09,204 --> 01:12:12,040
Wonder if I could have him
under the Trades Descriptions Act?
1168
01:12:55,083 --> 01:12:57,294
- Christ almighty!
- Get going, mister, fast.
1169
01:12:57,419 --> 01:13:00,046
- Where to?
- Never mind now, just drive.
1170
01:13:00,130 --> 01:13:01,673
Help!
Help, I've been robbed!
1171
01:13:07,762 --> 01:13:10,765
Must have gone to the same party.
Still, tenner a time, I should care.
1172
01:13:10,849 --> 01:13:13,018
- I'll play the game.
- Look, can't you go any faster?
1173
01:13:13,059 --> 01:13:15,705
I'm doing my best, guv, but watch out
for the law. I don't want to get done.
1174
01:13:15,729 --> 01:13:17,609
Yeah, we'll take care of that.
Just drive. Left.
1175
01:13:18,773 --> 01:13:21,735
Christ almighty,
you might give me some warning.
1176
01:13:21,818 --> 01:13:24,338
POLICE RADIO: All cars, all cars west.
A robbery in Praed Street.
1177
01:13:24,362 --> 01:13:26,865
Your attention is called
to a black London taxi,
1178
01:13:26,990 --> 01:13:30,577
believed to contain suspects.
Roger 1505, thank you, over.
1179
01:13:30,660 --> 01:13:32,454
What do we do, stop them all?
1180
01:13:33,038 --> 01:13:34,581
Turn right.
Just where that van is.
1181
01:13:34,664 --> 01:13:36,601
Wouldn't it be easier if you told me
where we're making for?
1182
01:13:36,625 --> 01:13:38,436
I mean, we're gonna
have an accident at this rate.
1183
01:13:38,460 --> 01:13:40,045
Look, I'm givin'
the orders round here,
1184
01:13:40,128 --> 01:13:42,380
so shut up and keep drivin'.
1185
01:13:42,839 --> 01:13:44,483
Oh, well, I suppose they've
got to come on heavy,
1186
01:13:44,507 --> 01:13:45,759
otherwise it wouldn't count.
1187
01:13:45,842 --> 01:13:48,219
I wonder when they get round
to the bit about doing me in?
1188
01:13:48,261 --> 01:13:51,389
Not as good as the last lot.
Nah, much more realistic, they were.
1189
01:13:52,724 --> 01:13:54,601
Are we being followed?
1190
01:13:57,479 --> 01:13:59,564
- Don't think so.
- That's all right.
1191
01:13:59,648 --> 01:14:02,025
Going in the opposite direction.
1192
01:14:02,150 --> 01:14:04,086
It's all clear.
He could drop us off at the end here.
1193
01:14:04,110 --> 01:14:05,654
Are you kidding?
He's coming with us.
1194
01:14:05,737 --> 01:14:07,197
We may need a hostage.
1195
01:14:07,280 --> 01:14:09,926
Look, mate, why don't I just drop you
here, like your mate suggested, eh?
1196
01:14:09,950 --> 01:14:12,011
Then I can sign your paper
and you can be on your way.
1197
01:14:12,035 --> 01:14:13,495
Paper?
1198
01:14:13,578 --> 01:14:15,556
I just think it'd save us all
a lot of time, that's all.
1199
01:14:15,580 --> 01:14:18,017
- What paper? What are you talkin' about?
- You know, for your mates.
1200
01:14:18,041 --> 01:14:20,645
"I hereby declare I've done the
dreadful deed" and all that rubbish.
1201
01:14:20,669 --> 01:14:22,295
I won't tell 'em I cottoned on.
1202
01:14:22,379 --> 01:14:25,215
Listen. Just shut up
and keep driving.
1203
01:14:25,298 --> 01:14:27,509
Oh, come on, now,
don't let's get carried away.
1204
01:14:27,634 --> 01:14:30,196
I mean, a joke's a joke, but I keep
losing business doing this lark.
1205
01:14:30,220 --> 01:14:32,573
Yeah, that won't be the only thing
you'll lose if you don't belt up.
1206
01:14:32,597 --> 01:14:34,432
Look, fair's fair,
but you go too far.
1207
01:14:34,557 --> 01:14:37,244
I'm not gonna to sign your paper,
I'm warning you, so just watch your step.
1208
01:14:37,268 --> 01:14:39,646
- Now, see here...
- Left. Sharp left!
1209
01:14:41,773 --> 01:14:44,442
Hang about.
What's all this, then?
1210
01:14:44,526 --> 01:14:47,445
MAN: Go right down the end
to the garage, drive right in.
1211
01:14:47,529 --> 01:14:51,241
- Oh, I get it, I get it.
- You will if you don't belt up.
1212
01:14:51,324 --> 01:14:53,118
It's bleedin' Tom, innit?
1213
01:14:53,201 --> 01:14:56,496
I mean, I told him about
the other kidnap, and he thought...
1214
01:14:56,579 --> 01:14:58,123
Very funny!
1215
01:15:16,474 --> 01:15:18,685
- What are you doin' here?
- You should know.
1216
01:15:18,768 --> 01:15:22,188
What a bloody prank. Look,
it's costing me money, this game.
1217
01:15:22,313 --> 01:15:24,524
- You know him?
- 'Course he bloody knows me.
1218
01:15:24,649 --> 01:15:28,820
- I live here, don't I?
- Er... What happened? Where's the car?
1219
01:15:29,029 --> 01:15:30,829
Parked on a double yellow line,
didn't he, eh?
1220
01:15:30,905 --> 01:15:33,575
We do the job, come rushing out
with the stuff,
1221
01:15:33,658 --> 01:15:35,744
there's our getaway car
being done for parking.
1222
01:15:35,910 --> 01:15:37,579
Had to come back by cab.
1223
01:15:37,662 --> 01:15:40,415
And of all the cabs in London,
you had to pick...
1224
01:15:40,498 --> 01:15:43,793
Oh, no!
1225
01:15:48,173 --> 01:15:49,841
I still say we can't trust him.
1226
01:15:49,924 --> 01:15:52,469
And, I'm telling you, he's a mate.
He's not gonna shop us.
1227
01:15:52,552 --> 01:15:54,655
- I won't. I won't.
- And I say we shouldn't chance it.
1228
01:15:54,679 --> 01:15:57,015
Look, I'm not gonna say anything.
As far as I'm concerned,
1229
01:15:57,098 --> 01:15:58,826
it never happened.
I don't know nothing about it.
1230
01:15:58,850 --> 01:16:01,102
See? Now, I'll guarantee him.
Now, don't worry.
1231
01:16:01,186 --> 01:16:04,397
- Don't worry?
- How much do you think I'm worth?
1232
01:16:04,481 --> 01:16:06,542
Now look, Nikki, we haven't
got time for all that, love.
1233
01:16:06,566 --> 01:16:07,566
Take 'em off, please?
1234
01:16:07,609 --> 01:16:09,444
I knew I'd look good
in expensive things.
1235
01:16:09,527 --> 01:16:12,280
Yeah, you look lovely.
Now get 'em off.
1236
01:16:12,363 --> 01:16:14,407
Right, well, er...
if you've all finished with me,
1237
01:16:14,491 --> 01:16:15,551
I think I'd better
get back to work.
1238
01:16:15,575 --> 01:16:17,619
Sit down.
You ain't going anywhere.
1239
01:16:17,744 --> 01:16:19,544
- Yeah, well, I just thought...
- Well, don't.
1240
01:16:21,998 --> 01:16:24,667
- You expecting anyone?
- It's all right. It's not the law.
1241
01:16:26,920 --> 01:16:29,339
And I thought taxi driving
was a strain.
1242
01:16:29,380 --> 01:16:31,174
Right, let's get this stuff
away somewhere.
1243
01:16:31,257 --> 01:16:32,860
It's making me nervous
lying around the place.
1244
01:16:32,884 --> 01:16:34,302
Yeah, where are you gonna put it?
1245
01:16:34,469 --> 01:16:36,846
I know a place where
no-one'll look. Nikki?
1246
01:16:37,013 --> 01:16:39,057
Oh, come here, Monty.
1247
01:16:42,936 --> 01:16:46,481
- Christ almighty!
- Hello, what are you doing here?
1248
01:16:46,564 --> 01:16:50,318
- You two know each other?
- Yeah, he's my brother, isn't he?
1249
01:16:53,321 --> 01:16:55,740
Bloody hell, what's that?
1250
01:16:55,824 --> 01:16:57,951
A hippopotamus.
1251
01:16:58,034 --> 01:16:59,845
What the hell are you doing
mixed up in all this?
1252
01:16:59,869 --> 01:17:01,830
Well, I'm in the big time now,
aren't I?
1253
01:17:01,913 --> 01:17:04,290
I don't believe it.
I just don't believe it.
1254
01:17:04,415 --> 01:17:06,835
I was drivin'
the getaway car, wasn't I?
1255
01:17:06,918 --> 01:17:08,753
Oh, yeah, parked on
a double yellow line.
1256
01:17:08,878 --> 01:17:10,439
I've done it before
and never got nicked.
1257
01:17:10,463 --> 01:17:11,840
So tell us what happened.
1258
01:17:11,923 --> 01:17:14,092
Nothin' happened.
I got a bollockin'.
1259
01:17:14,175 --> 01:17:16,594
You lot came running out of the shop
with the stuff.
1260
01:17:16,678 --> 01:17:18,972
Well, the copper, he forgot about me,
so I drove off.
1261
01:17:19,097 --> 01:17:20,890
Yeah.
We should have been with ya.
1262
01:17:20,974 --> 01:17:23,852
Well, it looks like you managed
to pick up a cab all right, don't it?
1263
01:17:23,935 --> 01:17:25,603
Little bleeder.
I ought to do you.
1264
01:17:25,687 --> 01:17:29,232
I saw what happened. Didn't know
it was Joe driving it, though.
1265
01:17:29,315 --> 01:17:30,692
How much did he charge ya?
1266
01:17:30,817 --> 01:17:32,944
You think you're very funny,
don't you, eh?
1267
01:17:33,069 --> 01:17:34,237
Come on, Harry, lay off.
1268
01:17:34,320 --> 01:17:36,006
Yeah, but how do we know
he wasn't followed?
1269
01:17:36,030 --> 01:17:37,699
Bloody amateur,
coming straight back here.
1270
01:17:37,824 --> 01:17:40,785
So what else was I supposed to do?
It wasn't me they were following.
1271
01:17:40,910 --> 01:17:42,972
Yeah, well, any more cheek
and I'll lay one on you so hard
1272
01:17:42,996 --> 01:17:44,515
my fist'll come out
the back of your head.
1273
01:17:44,539 --> 01:17:45,665
Take it easy, Harry, yeah?
1274
01:17:45,790 --> 01:17:48,418
The kid didn't mean nothing.
Just let it rest, okay?
1275
01:17:48,501 --> 01:17:51,129
Yeah, trouble is, my friends,
what do we do now?
1276
01:17:51,212 --> 01:17:54,174
I mean, for all we know,
they might have taken Joe's number.
1277
01:17:54,257 --> 01:17:56,694
For all we know, they might be
on the way round here right now.
1278
01:17:56,718 --> 01:17:58,219
Taken my number?
1279
01:17:58,303 --> 01:18:00,638
Oh, that's great, that is.
That's really landed me in it.
1280
01:18:00,722 --> 01:18:02,700
Tom's right. We ought to split
before they get on to us.
1281
01:18:02,724 --> 01:18:04,851
Yeah, we'll meet up tomorrow
like we planned.
1282
01:18:06,352 --> 01:18:08,646
Too late, they're here.
1283
01:18:10,315 --> 01:18:12,942
- Can't see anyone.
- Well, it's not ringing on its own.
1284
01:18:13,067 --> 01:18:14,402
Who is it?
1285
01:18:14,485 --> 01:18:18,239
If nobody makes a sound,
perhaps they'll go away.
1286
01:18:18,323 --> 01:18:21,075
Look, maybe you'd better go
and see who it is.
1287
01:18:21,159 --> 01:18:23,161
- What?
- Do you want me to go?
1288
01:18:23,244 --> 01:18:26,456
You stay right where you are.
Yeah. Go on.
1289
01:18:29,083 --> 01:18:31,961
It's no use hiding.
I know you're in there, Joe North.
1290
01:18:32,045 --> 01:18:34,088
Bloody hell, that's all I need.
1291
01:18:34,172 --> 01:18:36,841
Answer this door
or I'll scream the place down.
1292
01:18:36,925 --> 01:18:38,843
You let me in or,
I'm warning you,
1293
01:18:38,927 --> 01:18:41,471
I'll get the police
to knock the door in.
1294
01:18:42,055 --> 01:18:45,975
- Oh, Carol.
- You took your time, didn't ya?
1295
01:18:46,059 --> 01:18:48,228
- Where is he?
- Who?
1296
01:18:48,311 --> 01:18:50,438
Oh, Joe.
1297
01:18:50,521 --> 01:18:53,233
Who did you think I meant?
Mickey Mouse?
1298
01:18:53,483 --> 01:18:55,944
He's out. Working.
1299
01:18:56,069 --> 01:18:57,987
What? When his taxi's here?
1300
01:18:58,196 --> 01:19:00,323
What's he driving?
Horse and cart?
1301
01:19:00,448 --> 01:19:03,785
His taxi's not here.
He's out in it.
1302
01:19:03,910 --> 01:19:07,580
Really. Well, I have just bumped into
the tall lady from Number 3,
1303
01:19:07,705 --> 01:19:10,083
with the toy poodle
and the blue rinse.
1304
01:19:10,166 --> 01:19:11,834
And, according to her,
1305
01:19:11,918 --> 01:19:15,296
Joe's taxi drove into
your garage ten minutes ago.
1306
01:19:15,380 --> 01:19:19,968
So, unless it's gone straight through
your back wall, it's still here, innit?
1307
01:19:20,510 --> 01:19:23,304
Well, you see, I wouldn't
know about that, 'cause, er...
1308
01:19:23,429 --> 01:19:24,639
I was asleep.
1309
01:19:26,975 --> 01:19:28,810
He's up there, isn't he?
1310
01:19:28,893 --> 01:19:31,104
He's up there with
another bloody bird!
1311
01:19:31,229 --> 01:19:32,397
Oh!
1312
01:19:32,939 --> 01:19:35,149
Joe, get rid of her.
1313
01:19:35,233 --> 01:19:37,211
- What am I supposed to do?
- Joe North, I'm coming up,
1314
01:19:37,235 --> 01:19:40,530
and if I find you in a compromising
position with your knickers down, I'll...
1315
01:19:40,697 --> 01:19:42,115
Oh.
1316
01:19:43,950 --> 01:19:47,578
- Didn't know you had company.
- Hello, Carol.
1317
01:19:47,662 --> 01:19:50,873
I just came to tell you
that I've forgiven you.
1318
01:19:51,040 --> 01:19:53,084
For what you was doing
last time I saw you.
1319
01:19:53,167 --> 01:19:55,420
- Oh, er... thank you.
- Yes.
1320
01:19:55,545 --> 01:19:59,549
I've thought it over very carefully
and I decided that what you did
1321
01:19:59,632 --> 01:20:02,176
was a moment of weakness
on your behalf,
1322
01:20:02,260 --> 01:20:04,262
so I have forgiven you.
1323
01:20:04,345 --> 01:20:06,514
- Great.
- I thought you'd be pleased.
1324
01:20:06,597 --> 01:20:08,599
Yeah. Great.
1325
01:20:08,683 --> 01:20:11,853
Well, aren't you
going to introduce me?
1326
01:20:13,604 --> 01:20:14,856
To your friends?
1327
01:20:14,939 --> 01:20:17,650
Oh. Yes, um... this is Peter.
1328
01:20:17,734 --> 01:20:20,903
Yes, I know Peter, and Tom,
and that Nikki as well.
1329
01:20:21,029 --> 01:20:24,157
And, um... this is, er...
Jeremy?
1330
01:20:24,240 --> 01:20:25,533
Terribly pleased to meet you.
1331
01:20:25,616 --> 01:20:28,578
- And Rupert.
- Very pleased to meet you.
1332
01:20:28,745 --> 01:20:31,372
I'm Joe's fiancée.
Carol Hotchkiss.
1333
01:20:31,456 --> 01:20:34,959
Actually, Harry... Bernard and Jim
were just about to leave.
1334
01:20:35,084 --> 01:20:36,919
Er... Yeah, yeah.
1335
01:20:37,003 --> 01:20:38,713
- Yeah, we're going.
- Yeah.
1336
01:20:38,838 --> 01:20:40,214
Yeah.
1337
01:20:40,298 --> 01:20:41,966
- Yeah.
- Bye, Rupert.
1338
01:20:42,050 --> 01:20:44,552
Nice to have met you.
1339
01:20:45,970 --> 01:20:47,406
What did you say
they do for a living?
1340
01:20:47,430 --> 01:20:48,514
- Insurance.
- Antiques.
1341
01:20:48,598 --> 01:20:49,974
- Banking.
- Computers.
1342
01:20:52,894 --> 01:20:54,479
What's goin' on?
1343
01:20:54,562 --> 01:20:56,939
What do you mean?
Nothing. Why?
1344
01:20:57,857 --> 01:21:01,110
Is there something
I'm not supposed to know about?
1345
01:21:01,235 --> 01:21:04,364
It's just that I get the impression...
1346
01:21:04,447 --> 01:21:06,366
I mean, what's he
doing here for a start?
1347
01:21:06,449 --> 01:21:08,534
Just come to see
my brother, haven't I?
1348
01:21:10,620 --> 01:21:12,413
You've got someone here,
haven't you?
1349
01:21:12,497 --> 01:21:16,209
Another woman.
Another naked tart in the bedroom.
1350
01:21:16,292 --> 01:21:18,920
Oh, for God's sake. Look, there's
no-one here but us, that's all.
1351
01:21:19,003 --> 01:21:21,815
- How am I supposed to know that?
- Well, you've just got a suspicious mind.
1352
01:21:21,839 --> 01:21:24,717
That's your trouble. You're worse
than the CIA, into everything.
1353
01:21:24,801 --> 01:21:27,011
If I caught you with
another woman, Joe North,
1354
01:21:27,095 --> 01:21:28,846
so help me,
I would kill you, I would.
1355
01:21:28,930 --> 01:21:32,767
Especially after I've forgiven you
for your misdemeanour.
1356
01:21:32,850 --> 01:21:36,104
Listen, darlin', you know you're
the only girl in the world for me.
1357
01:21:36,229 --> 01:21:39,190
It's just that, um...
I've learned my lesson.
1358
01:21:39,273 --> 01:21:41,651
Come on, let's go down the pub
and have a drink, eh?
1359
01:21:41,776 --> 01:21:44,904
- Do you really mean that?
- Yes, I'm thirsty. I could do with one.
1360
01:21:45,071 --> 01:21:47,865
No. About me being
the only girl in the world.
1361
01:21:47,990 --> 01:21:49,742
'Course I do. Come on.
1362
01:21:49,867 --> 01:21:53,079
Oh, well, don't push me, all right?
I mean, the pubs aren't even open yet.
1363
01:21:53,162 --> 01:21:55,242
- So? We can wait.
- Which one did you want to go to?
1364
01:21:55,289 --> 01:21:56,999
Oh, any one...
1365
01:21:59,669 --> 01:22:01,379
Thank God for that.
1366
01:22:03,589 --> 01:22:08,428
Good day, sir. Madam.
Going somewhere, were we?
1367
01:22:08,511 --> 01:22:11,597
- Who are you?
- Do you mind if we step inside, sir?
1368
01:22:11,681 --> 01:22:14,725
- What did you want?
- If you don't mind, sir?
1369
01:22:19,230 --> 01:22:21,399
No, you see,
we were just on our way out.
1370
01:22:21,482 --> 01:22:22,483
Yes, I had noticed.
1371
01:22:22,608 --> 01:22:25,069
Yes, we were waiting
till the pubs opened.
1372
01:22:25,778 --> 01:22:28,531
Inspector Rogers, CID.
1373
01:22:28,614 --> 01:22:31,659
- And this is Sergeant Jeeves.
- Afternoon, all.
1374
01:22:31,701 --> 01:22:35,079
I rather thought you might be able
to help us with our enquiries.
1375
01:22:35,163 --> 01:22:37,999
Oh, what's been happening?
1376
01:22:38,624 --> 01:22:40,585
Oi! You got a search warrant?
1377
01:22:40,710 --> 01:22:43,254
Why? You hiding something?
1378
01:22:44,380 --> 01:22:48,885
You were with him.
And you were with him.
1379
01:22:48,968 --> 01:22:50,511
Right?
1380
01:22:51,929 --> 01:22:54,223
So, who were you with?
1381
01:22:54,348 --> 01:22:55,683
Myself.
1382
01:22:55,766 --> 01:22:57,643
Joe, what's this all about?
1383
01:22:57,727 --> 01:23:00,104
You're a bit young to be
in this sort of league, aren't you?
1384
01:23:00,271 --> 01:23:01,772
I didn't know
there was an age limit.
1385
01:23:01,856 --> 01:23:04,317
Look, what are we supposed
to be helping his enquiries with?
1386
01:23:04,442 --> 01:23:05,943
Carol, love.
1387
01:23:06,068 --> 01:23:08,696
It's to do with sex, isn't it?
1388
01:23:08,779 --> 01:23:10,507
You've been having orgies up here,
haven't you?
1389
01:23:10,531 --> 01:23:11,657
That's what it is, isn't it?
1390
01:23:11,741 --> 01:23:13,659
- Orgies.
- No, ma'am.
1391
01:23:13,784 --> 01:23:15,369
Well, it must be something like that.
1392
01:23:15,453 --> 01:23:17,997
I mean, if Joe's anything to do
with it, it must be sexy.
1393
01:23:18,080 --> 01:23:20,082
You've got a one-track mind, you have.
1394
01:23:20,166 --> 01:23:22,376
All right, if it's not orgies,
what is it, then?
1395
01:23:22,460 --> 01:23:25,379
You might say
it's a little treasure hunt.
1396
01:23:26,047 --> 01:23:28,216
Joe, what have you got yourself
mixed up with now?
1397
01:23:28,299 --> 01:23:30,009
- Nothing.
- I bet you have.
1398
01:23:30,092 --> 01:23:32,720
Especially if
there's a woman involved.
1399
01:23:32,803 --> 01:23:36,474
- Listen, there's nothing up here.
- Not according to your two friends.
1400
01:23:36,557 --> 01:23:37,934
We've got 'em outside.
1401
01:23:38,017 --> 01:23:40,436
- Picked 'em up a few minutes ago.
- What two friends?
1402
01:23:40,520 --> 01:23:43,898
We know all about your little caper
at the jewellers.
1403
01:23:43,940 --> 01:23:46,275
I'm sorry, I really don't know
what you're talking about.
1404
01:23:46,359 --> 01:23:49,862
Why don't you just come clean?
Your friends have.
1405
01:23:51,447 --> 01:23:53,241
Found any little trinkets yet?
1406
01:23:53,324 --> 01:23:54,367
Not yet, sir.
1407
01:23:54,492 --> 01:23:56,244
You're not gonna
find anything, you know.
1408
01:23:56,327 --> 01:23:59,539
We'll see. Life's full of
little surprises, isn't it?
1409
01:23:59,664 --> 01:24:01,082
Jesus Christ!
1410
01:24:01,165 --> 01:24:02,518
I'm sorry, sir,
I didn't mean to shout.
1411
01:24:02,542 --> 01:24:04,252
It's just there's
a bloody snake in there.
1412
01:24:04,335 --> 01:24:06,212
That is Monty.
1413
01:24:06,295 --> 01:24:09,340
He is my speciality and
he's very highly strung.
1414
01:24:09,423 --> 01:24:12,760
Please don't upset him.
He's got a performance tonight.
1415
01:24:12,843 --> 01:24:15,304
- There's nothing there, sir.
- Told ya.
1416
01:24:15,429 --> 01:24:20,184
Here, I've just realised.
You're looking for stolen property.
1417
01:24:20,309 --> 01:24:22,436
Carol, why don't you belt up?
1418
01:24:22,520 --> 01:24:24,647
But the cheek of it.
I mean, comin' in here
1419
01:24:24,730 --> 01:24:26,708
and searching this place
like we were all criminals.
1420
01:24:26,732 --> 01:24:29,151
No, you tell him, Joe.
Go on, tell him.
1421
01:24:29,235 --> 01:24:31,445
Carol, Carol,
will you shut up, Carol?
1422
01:24:31,529 --> 01:24:32,989
Go on. Go on, tell him.
1423
01:24:33,114 --> 01:24:36,325
Ask to see his search warrant.
Go on. Ask. Ask.
1424
01:24:36,409 --> 01:24:37,910
Go on. Go on.
1425
01:24:37,994 --> 01:24:40,121
If you don't ask,
I shall never speak to you again,
1426
01:24:40,246 --> 01:24:42,957
even though I have forgiven you.
1427
01:24:44,000 --> 01:24:45,793
Have you got something to say, then?
1428
01:24:45,876 --> 01:24:48,421
- Well, um, Inspector...
- Go on, go on, tell him to get out.
1429
01:24:48,588 --> 01:24:49,672
Yes, um...
1430
01:24:49,797 --> 01:24:52,383
And tell him to apologise.
Tell him you know your rights.
1431
01:24:52,508 --> 01:24:55,344
Tell him you'll sue him for libel
if he don't apologise.
1432
01:24:55,469 --> 01:24:56,721
She'll get me jailed for life.
1433
01:24:56,804 --> 01:25:00,016
Well, go on, Joe, tell him.
Joe is my fiancé.
1434
01:25:00,099 --> 01:25:03,394
Well, um, Inspector, as you
don't appear to have found anything...
1435
01:25:03,519 --> 01:25:05,479
That's right.
Really lay it on him.
1436
01:25:05,563 --> 01:25:08,399
I suggest we, um, call it a day.
1437
01:25:08,566 --> 01:25:11,360
- Don't you?
- That's a bit pathetic, innit?
1438
01:25:11,444 --> 01:25:13,487
- Carol!
- Well, I mean, he's just called us
1439
01:25:13,571 --> 01:25:15,489
a bunch of criminals.
We could sue him for that.
1440
01:25:15,573 --> 01:25:19,160
Excuse me, ma'am,
I haven't called any of you criminals.
1441
01:25:20,161 --> 01:25:21,370
Yet.
1442
01:25:21,454 --> 01:25:22,663
Oh, yes, you did.
I heard you.
1443
01:25:22,788 --> 01:25:24,790
You said we had stolen goods.
1444
01:25:24,874 --> 01:25:26,459
What sort of people
do you think we are?
1445
01:25:26,542 --> 01:25:28,085
Accusing us of being criminals.
1446
01:25:28,169 --> 01:25:29,879
- We are respectable, we are.
- Nikki!
1447
01:25:29,962 --> 01:25:32,465
I have never done
anything criminal in my life.
1448
01:25:32,590 --> 01:25:34,759
- I work in a supermarket.
- Nikki!
1449
01:25:34,842 --> 01:25:36,886
And as for Joe,
well, he's a taxi driver.
1450
01:25:36,969 --> 01:25:39,680
And Peter is, well...
1451
01:25:39,805 --> 01:25:43,434
And as for Tom, well, you could hardly
call him a criminal. He's a mechanic.
1452
01:25:43,517 --> 01:25:44,769
- Nikki...
- And Nikki,
1453
01:25:44,894 --> 01:25:47,104
- well, she's respectable. She's a stripper.
- Nikki!
1454
01:25:47,229 --> 01:25:49,565
And so the last thing you could
ever find in this place
1455
01:25:49,649 --> 01:25:51,651
would be stolen property.
1456
01:26:35,319 --> 01:26:37,571
Just been visiting Tom.
Poor bastard.
1457
01:26:37,655 --> 01:26:39,699
Got five years.
Him and his mates.
1458
01:26:39,740 --> 01:26:41,867
I thought I was gonna
go down meself at one point.
1459
01:26:41,951 --> 01:26:45,079
But, as I explained to them,
I was a victim of the circumstances.
1460
01:26:45,162 --> 01:26:46,831
And they let me off with a caution.
1461
01:26:46,914 --> 01:26:48,892
Mind you, I think they were
glad to see the back of me,
1462
01:26:48,916 --> 01:26:51,544
'cause Carol was pestering
the life out of them.
1463
01:26:51,669 --> 01:26:53,295
Nikki got out of it all right.
1464
01:26:53,379 --> 01:26:55,256
Probation.
First offence.
1465
01:26:55,339 --> 01:26:57,341
Tom's asked me
to keep an eye on her for him.
1466
01:26:57,425 --> 01:27:00,094
That's a favour
I shan't mind doing.
1467
01:27:00,177 --> 01:27:02,847
Lost me a lot of time, though,
all this business with the law.
1468
01:27:02,930 --> 01:27:06,851
Lost me a place to live and all.
Guess where I've ended up?
1469
01:27:07,268 --> 01:27:09,478
Nothing like
home cookin', is there?
1470
01:27:09,562 --> 01:27:11,772
Not like your home cooking,
there isn't.
1471
01:27:11,856 --> 01:27:14,567
Carol rang up.
Said she'd be round at six.
1472
01:27:14,650 --> 01:27:16,861
- You were taking her out.
- Oh, yeah.
1473
01:27:16,944 --> 01:27:18,863
That's really lumbered me
in it, that has.
1474
01:27:18,988 --> 01:27:21,091
I suppose the only good thing
that's come out of this is you
1475
01:27:21,115 --> 01:27:22,366
getting off on probation.
1476
01:27:22,450 --> 01:27:24,210
Really shook you up,
that brush with the law.
1477
01:27:24,243 --> 01:27:27,455
Good thing, too.
Turned over a new leaf, you have.
1478
01:27:27,538 --> 01:27:30,541
You still eat anything that
lies still on a plate though, don't ya?
1479
01:27:30,624 --> 01:27:33,210
Still, you've learned your lesson.
I'm glad to see it.
1480
01:27:33,335 --> 01:27:35,421
Good to see you going straight.
1481
01:27:35,588 --> 01:27:38,507
Well, I'm off.
Where's me fares book?
1482
01:27:42,011 --> 01:27:43,429
Bloody hell!
1483
01:27:43,512 --> 01:27:46,891
Here, don't you bloody
swear in front of the baby.
1484
01:27:47,057 --> 01:27:49,435
Teaches her bad habits.
1485
01:27:56,942 --> 01:28:00,571
I know you've been runnin' free
1486
01:28:00,654 --> 01:28:03,449
I think you'll have fun with me
1487
01:28:03,532 --> 01:28:06,660
Forget the rest,
I'd like to test
1488
01:28:06,744 --> 01:28:09,538
Your drivin' style
1489
01:28:09,622 --> 01:28:14,710
Won't you be my cruisin' Casanova?
1490
01:28:15,002 --> 01:28:19,340
Click your fingers
and I'll be over there
1491
01:28:19,423 --> 01:28:21,550
Smoothin' your hair
1492
01:28:21,634 --> 01:28:24,261
Soothin' your cares away
1493
01:28:24,345 --> 01:28:27,181
Hello, darlin'.
Which bridge do you want this time?
1494
01:28:27,389 --> 01:28:29,099
Post Office Tower, please.
1495
01:28:30,309 --> 01:28:34,355
Stop the clock and workin' overtime
1496
01:28:34,563 --> 01:28:37,817
Cruisin' Casanova, be mine
1497
01:28:37,858 --> 01:28:40,945
My man's a taxi driver
1498
01:28:41,445 --> 01:28:44,698
My man's a taxi driver
1499
01:28:45,241 --> 01:28:52,498
- My man's a taxi driver...
- Won't you be my cruisin' Casanova?
1500
01:28:52,790 --> 01:28:56,836
Click your fingers
and I'll be over there
1501
01:28:56,919 --> 01:28:58,754
Smoothin' your hair
1502
01:28:58,838 --> 01:29:01,841
Soothin' your cares away
1503
01:29:01,924 --> 01:29:07,054
There's no refusin' Casanova
1504
01:29:07,471 --> 01:29:11,642
Stop your clock and workin' overtime
1505
01:29:11,725 --> 01:29:16,647
Cruisin' Casanova, be mine
1506
01:29:16,939 --> 01:29:20,359
- Casanova, be mine
- Cruisin'
1507
01:29:20,568 --> 01:29:23,445
Casanova, be mine...
119389
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