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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:58,465 --> 00:01:00,500 Welcome back to the "Shat Attack." 2 00:01:00,633 --> 00:01:02,302 I'm your host, Billy Shatz. 3 00:01:02,435 --> 00:01:03,738 Before we get to our mailbag, 4 00:01:03,871 --> 00:01:06,339 I want to take a moment to thank our sponsor. 5 00:01:06,473 --> 00:01:08,709 ♪ Kwajalein Beer ♪ 6 00:01:08,843 --> 00:01:10,310 ♪ Drink it, motherfucker ♪ 7 00:01:10,443 --> 00:01:12,378 Grab yourself a six-pack and let's talk about 8 00:01:12,512 --> 00:01:15,582 indie horror sensation "Dead by Midnight." 9 00:01:15,716 --> 00:01:18,052 It tells the tale of a television station 10 00:01:18,185 --> 00:01:21,122 overtaken by the pits of Hell in search of fresh souls. 11 00:01:21,254 --> 00:01:23,991 It doesn't take long before the bat's out of the bag 12 00:01:24,125 --> 00:01:26,359 When the viewers themselves are sucked 13 00:01:26,493 --> 00:01:27,862 into a series of horror stories. 14 00:01:27,995 --> 00:01:29,755 Audiences and critics alike are calling it... 15 00:01:29,864 --> 00:01:31,165 - calling it... - calling it... 16 00:01:31,297 --> 00:01:32,733 an abomination, 17 00:01:32,867 --> 00:01:34,543 A slight against God for which you're responsible. 18 00:01:34,567 --> 00:01:35,770 We'll be dead by... 19 00:01:35,903 --> 00:01:37,570 Midnight marauders to humanoids 20 00:01:37,705 --> 00:01:39,339 dwelling underground can all agree. 21 00:01:39,472 --> 00:01:41,541 There gonna be a lot of s'mores 22 00:01:41,675 --> 00:01:45,545 and whole lot of. 23 00:01:45,679 --> 00:01:47,547 - Suck! - My scrotum. Ew. 24 00:01:47,681 --> 00:01:49,717 - Vaginal wipes. - Suck it clean! 25 00:01:49,850 --> 00:01:51,952 The Power Bottom can even pick up... 26 00:01:52,086 --> 00:01:54,822 A rotting mess is what it is, let's not forget. 27 00:01:54,955 --> 00:01:57,423 The Mistress of Midnight... she was bangin' back in the day, 28 00:01:57,557 --> 00:01:58,826 but what she's up to now, 29 00:01:58,959 --> 00:02:00,961 she's gone in and thrown in the towel. 30 00:02:26,253 --> 00:02:28,555 Atonement... what a drag. 31 00:02:28,689 --> 00:02:31,357 What's the difference between kneeling and whispering, 32 00:02:31,491 --> 00:02:33,593 "Forgive me, father, I have sinned" 33 00:02:33,727 --> 00:02:35,196 And sliding to your knees and saying, 34 00:02:35,328 --> 00:02:37,097 "Sorry, daddy, I've been naughty"? 35 00:02:37,231 --> 00:02:39,532 The difference is how much fun you are having, 36 00:02:39,666 --> 00:02:41,268 and I do it religiously. 37 00:02:41,401 --> 00:02:44,305 Our first little slice of Hell comes from a churchgoing, 38 00:02:44,437 --> 00:02:46,006 God-fearing little old lady. 39 00:02:46,140 --> 00:02:48,075 But that might be a matter of perspective, too, 40 00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:49,576 now, might'n it? 41 00:02:49,710 --> 00:02:51,946 Prepare to be graced with amazing performances 42 00:02:52,079 --> 00:02:54,815 by Edey Willis and Sethery Michaelson 43 00:02:54,949 --> 00:02:58,953 in our first sacrilegious sequence, "Hellevangelist." 44 00:02:59,086 --> 00:03:01,789 You can pause, but you can't hide. 45 00:03:07,027 --> 00:03:11,564 When you look at me, my brothers and sisters, 46 00:03:11,699 --> 00:03:15,169 do not look at me as a man preaching the good word 47 00:03:15,302 --> 00:03:17,071 No, no. 48 00:03:17,204 --> 00:03:20,007 Look at me as an appendage to the Lord, 49 00:03:20,140 --> 00:03:26,714 as a bloody holy arm reaching out to you for help 50 00:03:26,847 --> 00:03:33,087 because even the Lord needs your help. 51 00:03:33,220 --> 00:03:35,723 He needs you to reach out and grab his arm. 52 00:03:35,856 --> 00:03:38,625 This arm. 53 00:03:39,894 --> 00:03:41,829 And by helping him... 54 00:03:45,665 --> 00:03:47,600 you're helping yourselves... 55 00:03:49,036 --> 00:03:51,437 and all those around you. 56 00:03:54,607 --> 00:03:57,745 But I am more than just an arm. 57 00:03:57,878 --> 00:04:01,215 I am a vital organ. 58 00:04:01,348 --> 00:04:04,785 I am the pancreas to the Lord! 59 00:04:04,919 --> 00:04:06,387 Pumping vital love. 60 00:04:06,519 --> 00:04:10,157 Yes. The pancreas of the Lord. 61 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:14,929 Bring forward the first to be healed. 62 00:04:23,070 --> 00:04:25,638 Oh, look, Samuel. 63 00:04:25,773 --> 00:04:27,308 Darling, we're on the TV. 64 00:04:28,676 --> 00:04:29,843 Do you believe, 65 00:04:29,977 --> 00:04:32,279 brother Samuel and sister Edey? 66 00:04:32,413 --> 00:04:34,114 We believe! 67 00:04:36,050 --> 00:04:39,787 Then grandfather, husband, brother Samuel, 68 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:42,289 rejoice in the power of the bloody hand 69 00:04:42,423 --> 00:04:43,791 and the holy necktie! 70 00:04:43,924 --> 00:04:46,592 Be healed and you should be healed! 71 00:04:46,727 --> 00:04:49,229 Amen, Reverend. 72 00:04:49,363 --> 00:04:53,133 Yes, I understand now. 73 00:04:53,267 --> 00:04:54,935 Yes. 74 00:04:57,004 --> 00:04:59,807 Okay, Grandpa, you are all set. 75 00:04:59,940 --> 00:05:01,809 I'll check back later tonight, okay? 76 00:05:01,942 --> 00:05:04,477 - Amen! I'm healed! - Amen! 77 00:05:04,610 --> 00:05:06,546 Amen! 78 00:05:15,789 --> 00:05:19,994 Americano Sethery Michaelson... 79 00:05:20,127 --> 00:05:21,829 He should be good for a while. 80 00:05:21,962 --> 00:05:24,131 Uh, there's plenty of morphine in the cabinets 81 00:05:24,264 --> 00:05:25,598 if there's any issues. 82 00:05:34,141 --> 00:05:36,810 Alright, Grandma, I'm off to work. 83 00:05:38,112 --> 00:05:40,214 Don't send that crook any more of your money. 84 00:05:40,347 --> 00:05:42,049 Of course, dear. 85 00:05:42,182 --> 00:05:44,351 You have a lovely day. 86 00:05:44,485 --> 00:05:45,719 Anissa will be by in a bit. 87 00:05:45,853 --> 00:05:47,821 And then I'll be back later tonight, okay? 88 00:05:49,456 --> 00:05:50,590 Love you, Grandma. 89 00:05:50,724 --> 00:05:52,592 Love you, too, dear. 90 00:06:48,482 --> 00:06:50,317 ♪ 'Cause the blood is dripping down ♪ 91 00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:51,952 ♪ Put your hands up ♪ 92 00:06:52,086 --> 00:06:53,921 ♪ 'Cause the blood is dripping down ♪ 93 00:06:54,054 --> 00:06:57,324 ♪ The blood, the blood, the blood, the blood ♪ 94 00:06:57,458 --> 00:07:00,660 ♪ The blood, the blood, the blood is dripping down ♪ 95 00:07:00,794 --> 00:07:04,698 ♪ Let go if you're afraid ♪ 96 00:07:30,757 --> 00:07:35,863 ♪ I'm gonna take your lips ♪ 97 00:07:37,131 --> 00:07:40,267 ♪ Put 'em in a box ♪ 98 00:07:41,835 --> 00:07:47,074 ♪ Take 'em up with me to Heaven ♪ 99 00:07:49,143 --> 00:07:54,781 ♪ It would hardly be much of a Heaven ♪ 100 00:07:54,915 --> 00:07:58,719 ♪ Without you ♪ 101 00:08:03,724 --> 00:08:07,861 ♪ I'm gonna take your arms ♪ 102 00:08:09,696 --> 00:08:13,666 ♪ Put 'em in a box ♪ 103 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:19,173 ♪ Take 'em up with me to Heaven ♪ 104 00:08:19,306 --> 00:08:26,847 ♪ Because it would hardly be much of a Heaven ♪ 105 00:08:26,980 --> 00:08:30,817 ♪ Without you ♪ 106 00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:38,425 Right. 107 00:08:42,462 --> 00:08:44,431 You know what I'm saying? 108 00:08:46,366 --> 00:08:47,701 Okay, bye. 109 00:08:47,834 --> 00:08:49,303 Ow! 110 00:08:51,672 --> 00:08:53,373 What the hell? 111 00:08:56,777 --> 00:08:58,745 S-S-Stop. 112 00:09:00,714 --> 00:09:02,416 Ow! 113 00:09:05,485 --> 00:09:07,955 Ow. 114 00:09:08,088 --> 00:09:11,391 ♪ 'Cause the Lord is on the line ♪ 115 00:09:11,525 --> 00:09:13,160 ♪ And he will answer ♪ 116 00:09:57,037 --> 00:09:58,538 ♪ Oww! ♪ 117 00:09:58,672 --> 00:10:00,874 ♪ Alright! ♪ 118 00:10:01,008 --> 00:10:04,177 ♪ If you're tired and all alone ♪ 119 00:10:04,311 --> 00:10:05,479 Ah. 120 00:10:05,612 --> 00:10:08,716 Now, you're not going to feel a thing there, dear. 121 00:10:10,752 --> 00:10:14,621 ♪ Go tell it on the mountain ♪ 122 00:10:14,756 --> 00:10:18,959 ♪ Over the hill and everywhere ♪ 123 00:10:19,092 --> 00:10:23,664 ♪ Go tell it on the mountain ♪ 124 00:10:23,797 --> 00:10:27,434 ♪ Over and everywhere ♪ 125 00:10:40,180 --> 00:10:43,250 ♪ Oww! ♪ 126 00:10:43,383 --> 00:10:45,753 Now, don't move. 127 00:10:45,886 --> 00:10:47,954 You're going to muck it up. 128 00:11:18,820 --> 00:11:20,788 Ah! 129 00:11:20,921 --> 00:11:24,124 Oh, this is just beautiful, 130 00:11:24,257 --> 00:11:27,494 what you're doing for my Samuel. 131 00:11:27,627 --> 00:11:29,764 Just beautiful. 132 00:12:10,303 --> 00:12:14,341 Shall we say a prayer together before I go? 133 00:12:17,077 --> 00:12:18,412 Oh, my. 134 00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:02,255 I understand now 135 00:13:02,389 --> 00:13:06,761 how Reverend Sethery is going to help us. 136 00:13:06,894 --> 00:13:09,529 He's going to help us all. 137 00:13:37,925 --> 00:13:39,861 Millions gathered today at televangelist 138 00:13:39,993 --> 00:13:42,930 Sethery Michaelson's Hand and Necktie mega church. 139 00:13:43,063 --> 00:13:44,498 The world-renowned televangelist 140 00:13:44,631 --> 00:13:47,133 was recently admitted to St. Jude's Hospital. 141 00:13:47,267 --> 00:13:48,769 The nation was shocked by reports 142 00:13:48,903 --> 00:13:51,338 that Michaelson was attacked earlier today. 143 00:13:51,471 --> 00:13:53,306 His status is as yet unknown. 144 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:55,242 What a nice young man. 145 00:13:55,375 --> 00:13:59,045 You know, I think I'll give him some money. 146 00:13:59,179 --> 00:14:00,681 No! No! 147 00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:09,022 Usually, I hate a story with religious undertones. 148 00:14:09,155 --> 00:14:11,291 But I thought seeing the separation of church and hate 149 00:14:11,424 --> 00:14:12,994 made for quite a ride tonight. 150 00:14:13,126 --> 00:14:15,595 Right, my bright little acolytes? 151 00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:17,664 But that's enough for one Sabbath. 152 00:14:17,798 --> 00:14:20,333 Make sure to stay tuned in for more slight frights 153 00:14:20,467 --> 00:14:22,469 from "Dead by Midnight." 154 00:14:22,602 --> 00:14:26,473 "My kingdom come, my will be done." 155 00:14:30,143 --> 00:14:32,612 Cut! 156 00:14:33,981 --> 00:14:35,382 Hi. I'm Kane Hodder. 157 00:14:39,386 --> 00:14:42,055 I'm known as the deadliest man in Hollywood. 158 00:14:42,188 --> 00:14:44,692 Another true story with Murderol. 159 00:14:44,825 --> 00:14:47,962 Unfortunately, my desire for brutal violence 160 00:14:48,094 --> 00:14:50,865 doesn't always stay on the set. 161 00:14:50,998 --> 00:14:53,633 So when I tell you I've finally found the medication 162 00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:56,971 to curb my murderous impulses, 163 00:14:57,103 --> 00:14:59,406 you can believe me. 164 00:14:59,539 --> 00:15:02,142 And if you don't, I'll kill you and your family. 165 00:15:20,861 --> 00:15:22,029 Oh, Kane! 166 00:15:22,162 --> 00:15:24,464 Another victim spared. 167 00:15:24,598 --> 00:15:28,803 In fact, I don't even think about killing anymore. 168 00:15:28,936 --> 00:15:33,440 Murderol has given me a new chance at happiness. 169 00:15:33,573 --> 00:15:35,642 Just look at how happy I am. 170 00:15:38,378 --> 00:15:39,747 That's right. 171 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:43,017 Stop killing people, start killing time 172 00:15:43,149 --> 00:15:44,584 with Murderol. 173 00:15:44,719 --> 00:15:46,787 This is the hottest show in Hell right now 174 00:15:46,921 --> 00:15:48,923 and we're running commercials for pills 175 00:15:49,056 --> 00:15:51,058 to stop killing people? 176 00:15:51,191 --> 00:15:52,793 What the hell? 177 00:15:52,927 --> 00:15:57,798 Parents, no one is putting drugs in your kids' Halloween candy. 178 00:15:57,932 --> 00:15:59,499 It just isn't happening. 179 00:15:59,633 --> 00:16:02,636 Thousands of parents suffer from the delusions every year 180 00:16:02,770 --> 00:16:06,707 that people are putting cannabis or LSD or Molly 181 00:16:06,841 --> 00:16:08,876 into their kids' Halloween treats, 182 00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:12,847 introducing your children to a host of dangerous substances 183 00:16:12,980 --> 00:16:15,816 and the opportunity to trip their tiny little balls 184 00:16:15,950 --> 00:16:18,218 right off. 185 00:16:19,987 --> 00:16:22,757 Helicopter-parent study number 420 commencing. 186 00:16:22,890 --> 00:16:24,810 Alright, boys, here we go. Keep your eyes on Mom. 187 00:16:24,892 --> 00:16:26,660 The trigger has been delivered. 188 00:16:26,794 --> 00:16:28,261 Put on your protective goggles. 189 00:16:28,395 --> 00:16:29,830 Tell my wife I love her. 190 00:16:29,964 --> 00:16:31,675 Oh, the poor child doesn't even see it coming. 191 00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:33,533 Abort! Abort! Nope, we're in it. 192 00:16:33,667 --> 00:16:35,301 The redhead is going nuke-ular. 193 00:16:37,370 --> 00:16:40,173 Oh, dear God, she's gone slo-mo. 194 00:16:40,306 --> 00:16:41,608 I told you this would happen. 195 00:16:41,742 --> 00:16:44,011 My grandfather built that table. 196 00:16:44,145 --> 00:16:47,614 So, parents, this Halloween, 197 00:16:47,748 --> 00:16:50,650 save your social-media outrage, 198 00:16:50,785 --> 00:16:52,318 calm your tits, 199 00:16:52,452 --> 00:16:55,156 and remember, 200 00:16:55,288 --> 00:16:58,959 no one is trying to put drugs in your kids' Halloween treats 201 00:16:59,093 --> 00:17:01,628 as a mean Halloween trick. 202 00:17:01,762 --> 00:17:04,165 No one's trying to drug your kids. 203 00:17:04,297 --> 00:17:06,133 'Cause drugs are expensive. 204 00:17:11,604 --> 00:17:14,207 And we don't wanna share with your shithead kids. 205 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:27,121 Fuck. 206 00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:36,663 Oh, children these days. 207 00:17:36,797 --> 00:17:39,299 They're so spoiled with their little devices, 208 00:17:39,432 --> 00:17:41,001 aren't they? 209 00:17:41,135 --> 00:17:44,038 No matter where you go, there are screens all around you. 210 00:17:44,171 --> 00:17:45,973 There's no escaping it. 211 00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:47,640 Really. 212 00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:50,845 At times like this, I believe it's important to remember 213 00:17:50,978 --> 00:17:53,446 the monsters we make ourselves. 214 00:17:53,580 --> 00:17:57,283 So our next tale is about a creative cool cat 215 00:17:57,417 --> 00:17:59,186 whose whole life is about to wind up 216 00:17:59,319 --> 00:18:01,055 on the cutting-room floor. 217 00:18:01,188 --> 00:18:03,090 We'll be seeing Julia Walters 218 00:18:03,224 --> 00:18:08,062 and a fresh-faced feline in our next eerie edition... 219 00:18:08,195 --> 00:18:09,697 "Jasper." 220 00:18:09,830 --> 00:18:12,733 You can pause, but you cannot hide. 221 00:18:38,726 --> 00:18:41,494 Time to set the world on fire. 222 00:18:41,628 --> 00:18:43,998 You're probably wondering how we got here. 223 00:18:44,131 --> 00:18:45,833 Let's rewind a bit. 224 00:19:09,256 --> 00:19:11,725 My name is Julia Walters. 225 00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:14,594 Jack Walters was my father. 226 00:19:14,728 --> 00:19:16,496 Most people would say that 227 00:19:16,629 --> 00:19:20,000 Jasper the Cat was his greatest achievement. 228 00:19:20,134 --> 00:19:25,973 But I know that what he was most proud of was his family. 229 00:19:26,106 --> 00:19:27,540 He always used to tell me, 230 00:19:27,675 --> 00:19:31,278 "Julia, one day, you're gonna set the world on fire." 231 00:19:36,549 --> 00:19:38,618 He was my best friend. 232 00:19:38,752 --> 00:19:40,821 It's no secret that he drank 233 00:19:40,955 --> 00:19:44,490 and that he blamed himself for what happened to my mother. 234 00:19:44,624 --> 00:19:47,594 So his suicide, while tragic... 235 00:19:49,964 --> 00:19:52,398 was not altogether unanticipated. 236 00:19:59,505 --> 00:20:03,043 I am proud to follow in my father's footsteps 237 00:20:03,177 --> 00:20:06,981 and to keep Jasper alive for the next generation. 238 00:20:07,114 --> 00:20:09,850 So thank you all for coming here today. 239 00:20:14,722 --> 00:20:18,259 Especially to my wife, Ally, 240 00:20:18,391 --> 00:20:23,264 for supporting me on one of the worst days of my life. 241 00:20:27,334 --> 00:20:28,869 I'm sorry. I... 242 00:20:35,508 --> 00:20:37,912 Shit. 243 00:20:38,045 --> 00:20:39,880 I'm not here. 244 00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:44,952 I'm here. 245 00:20:57,231 --> 00:20:58,966 Let me in. 246 00:21:04,371 --> 00:21:07,507 Sorry, ma'am, I can't let you in without a proper ID. 247 00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:09,509 She's with me, Mike. 248 00:21:09,642 --> 00:21:11,644 Oh. Sorry, Ms. Julia. 249 00:21:11,779 --> 00:21:14,081 Can never be too sure. 250 00:21:14,214 --> 00:21:15,883 Late hours and all. 251 00:21:18,852 --> 00:21:20,620 Are you new here? 252 00:21:20,754 --> 00:21:22,423 As a matter of fact, I am. 253 00:21:22,555 --> 00:21:25,259 Name's Mike. Nice to meet you. 254 00:21:25,392 --> 00:21:27,094 Your office... now. 255 00:21:35,002 --> 00:21:36,636 I should've known that you'd be here. 256 00:21:36,770 --> 00:21:37,938 Now, where else would you be? 257 00:21:38,072 --> 00:21:40,140 Certainly not at home with your wife. 258 00:21:40,274 --> 00:21:43,010 And not at the cemetery for your own father's funeral. 259 00:21:43,143 --> 00:21:45,346 I had a deadline. Dad would understand. 260 00:21:45,478 --> 00:21:46,680 You're just like him. 261 00:21:46,814 --> 00:21:48,282 Down to the empty bottle. 262 00:21:48,415 --> 00:21:50,985 Thank you for noticing our heartwarming similarities. 263 00:21:51,118 --> 00:21:52,796 I'm just surprised that your damned cartoon 264 00:21:52,820 --> 00:21:54,121 can even stand up straight. 265 00:21:54,254 --> 00:21:56,757 That's the beauty of digitizing the series, dear. 266 00:21:56,890 --> 00:21:59,893 Don't need steady hands to click a mouse. 267 00:22:00,027 --> 00:22:01,195 Cute. 268 00:22:01,328 --> 00:22:04,298 You know, I've forgiven you for a lot lately, 269 00:22:04,431 --> 00:22:05,631 since your mom. 270 00:22:05,766 --> 00:22:07,067 And I'm really sorry, 271 00:22:07,201 --> 00:22:09,236 'cause I thought I knew what I was signing up for, 272 00:22:09,370 --> 00:22:11,905 but this is not what I expected my life to be. 273 00:22:12,039 --> 00:22:14,108 Okay, well, this season's almost done. 274 00:22:14,241 --> 00:22:16,642 We'll go on a vacation soon, alright? 275 00:22:16,777 --> 00:22:19,579 God, you're not listening to me. 276 00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:21,382 You're not you. 277 00:22:21,514 --> 00:22:23,384 We are not us. 278 00:22:23,516 --> 00:22:24,718 You're depressed all the time. 279 00:22:24,852 --> 00:22:26,887 You barely see daylight. 280 00:22:27,021 --> 00:22:28,956 Even Jasper is getting darker. 281 00:22:29,089 --> 00:22:31,624 He spent the entire last episode at a bar. 282 00:22:31,759 --> 00:22:35,528 Well, you can't divorce the art from the artist. 283 00:22:35,661 --> 00:22:38,399 Maybe not. 284 00:22:38,531 --> 00:22:40,934 But you can divorce the artist. 285 00:22:44,271 --> 00:22:47,274 My dad just died. 286 00:22:47,408 --> 00:22:49,410 I hired a lawyer. 287 00:22:49,542 --> 00:22:52,179 What do you want? 288 00:22:52,312 --> 00:22:53,646 Do you want a kid? 289 00:22:53,781 --> 00:22:55,883 Let's have a kid. Will that make you happy? 290 00:22:56,016 --> 00:22:57,317 Yes. 291 00:22:57,451 --> 00:23:00,553 It would if I didn't think I'd be raising it alone. 292 00:23:03,090 --> 00:23:05,292 What do you think I'm doing here, Ally? 293 00:23:05,426 --> 00:23:07,995 Why do you think I'm here night after night? 294 00:23:08,128 --> 00:23:10,531 I'm busting my ass to provide for the family 295 00:23:10,663 --> 00:23:12,366 that I know that you want, okay? 296 00:23:12,499 --> 00:23:14,001 Kids are expensive, Ally. 297 00:23:14,134 --> 00:23:16,246 It's not like we can just make one the old-fashioned way. 298 00:23:16,270 --> 00:23:18,571 It doesn't... I don't want kids with you. 299 00:23:18,705 --> 00:23:21,175 You're never home. You're always drunk. 300 00:23:21,308 --> 00:23:23,777 You're turning into an asshole just like your dad. 301 00:23:23,911 --> 00:23:26,447 It is no wonder that your mom killed herself, too. 302 00:23:37,357 --> 00:23:38,492 Ally! 303 00:23:40,626 --> 00:23:42,563 Whew! That's better. 304 00:23:42,696 --> 00:23:44,798 Hiya, Julia. I'm here for you. 305 00:23:44,932 --> 00:23:48,936 You're my best friend, and she was being mean to you. 306 00:23:49,069 --> 00:23:50,804 Okay. 307 00:23:50,938 --> 00:23:52,706 Okay, this isn't happening. 308 00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:54,108 This isn't real. 309 00:23:54,241 --> 00:23:55,809 Aw, little buddy. 310 00:23:55,943 --> 00:23:57,544 Maybe this'll help. 311 00:24:00,814 --> 00:24:02,583 Stop it! 312 00:24:02,716 --> 00:24:04,617 No, stop! 313 00:24:07,354 --> 00:24:09,655 Okay, I believe you're real! 314 00:24:09,790 --> 00:24:12,793 Good! Now I've got a job to do. 315 00:24:15,129 --> 00:24:16,129 What? 316 00:24:16,196 --> 00:24:17,998 I'm gonna kill your wife, silly. 317 00:24:18,132 --> 00:24:21,835 Just like I killed your mommy and your daddy 318 00:24:21,969 --> 00:24:25,005 and anyone else who tries to keep us apart. 319 00:24:25,139 --> 00:24:27,574 You're my best friend. 320 00:24:27,708 --> 00:24:29,543 This'll be a lot of fun. 321 00:24:29,676 --> 00:24:32,645 Just don't try and stop me! 322 00:24:32,779 --> 00:24:34,114 No! 323 00:24:34,248 --> 00:24:36,550 Say bye, Julia. 324 00:24:36,683 --> 00:24:38,685 No! Ally! 325 00:24:41,355 --> 00:24:42,956 Fuck. 326 00:24:59,672 --> 00:25:01,575 Mike! Mike! 327 00:25:01,708 --> 00:25:02,809 Call the police. 328 00:25:02,943 --> 00:25:04,344 Ms. Julia, w-what is it? 329 00:25:04,478 --> 00:25:06,213 What's the emergency? What's going on? 330 00:25:06,346 --> 00:25:08,182 Shh! What? 331 00:25:11,618 --> 00:25:12,786 Aah! 332 00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:14,021 What the fuck?! 333 00:25:14,154 --> 00:25:17,658 I told you not to try and stop me. 334 00:25:17,791 --> 00:25:20,627 Now look what you made me do. 335 00:25:20,794 --> 00:25:22,462 - Where's my wife? - Who? 336 00:25:22,596 --> 00:25:24,097 You know who, you giant prick. 337 00:25:24,231 --> 00:25:25,632 Unh, unh, unh! 338 00:25:25,766 --> 00:25:27,201 Language, missy. 339 00:25:27,334 --> 00:25:30,304 This program is rated TV-PG. 340 00:25:30,437 --> 00:25:31,605 Not anymore, asshole. 341 00:25:34,308 --> 00:25:36,176 You won't get to her in time. 342 00:25:36,310 --> 00:25:40,547 The train has left the station, and it's never late. 343 00:26:07,641 --> 00:26:09,776 This is so cliché. 344 00:26:18,385 --> 00:26:20,487 Help! 345 00:26:21,855 --> 00:26:23,290 - Ally! - Took you long enough. 346 00:26:23,423 --> 00:26:24,825 Got here as fast as I could. 347 00:26:24,958 --> 00:26:26,236 You could come a little bit faster. 348 00:26:26,260 --> 00:26:27,828 You're right, dear, of course. 349 00:26:33,066 --> 00:26:34,434 Are you almost done? Almost! 350 00:26:34,568 --> 00:26:37,104 Okay. 351 00:26:37,237 --> 00:26:39,172 Okay, let's go! Okay. 352 00:26:47,381 --> 00:26:49,049 Okay, all caught up? 353 00:26:49,182 --> 00:26:51,051 Let's take it back to the top. 354 00:26:57,224 --> 00:26:58,392 What are you doing? 355 00:26:58,525 --> 00:27:00,427 Jasper murdered my parents, Ally. 356 00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:02,195 Nobody committed suicide. He killed them. 357 00:27:02,329 --> 00:27:03,897 And he's probably gonna kill you 358 00:27:04,031 --> 00:27:07,801 and then me, too, if we don't take him out first. 359 00:27:07,934 --> 00:27:09,803 Do you still want to get divorced? 360 00:27:09,936 --> 00:27:11,305 Will you quit your job? 361 00:27:11,438 --> 00:27:13,607 Probably getting fired after I blow up the station. 362 00:27:13,741 --> 00:27:16,009 I love you. Let's have kids. 363 00:27:19,913 --> 00:27:21,481 Ready? 364 00:27:26,386 --> 00:27:28,221 Hell yeah. 365 00:27:55,717 --> 00:27:57,184 Aww! 366 00:27:58,885 --> 00:28:01,421 Hey, little guy. 367 00:28:01,555 --> 00:28:03,623 Pwease don't kill me. 368 00:28:03,758 --> 00:28:06,126 You're my best fwiend. 369 00:28:08,195 --> 00:28:10,732 Thing is, you murdered my family. 370 00:28:12,834 --> 00:28:13,967 Hmm. 371 00:28:39,626 --> 00:28:41,928 Meowww! 372 00:29:01,014 --> 00:29:02,784 Go, go, go! 373 00:29:04,918 --> 00:29:06,520 Uh-oh! 374 00:29:17,765 --> 00:29:19,700 That was insane. Yeah. 375 00:29:21,334 --> 00:29:23,270 Your dad would be proud. 376 00:29:27,140 --> 00:29:29,576 Yeah. Do you really wanna have kids? 377 00:29:29,710 --> 00:29:32,312 I think we can handle it. 378 00:29:32,446 --> 00:29:34,981 I think we can handle anything. 379 00:29:36,516 --> 00:29:37,919 Me, too. 380 00:29:38,051 --> 00:29:39,419 Should we adopt? 381 00:29:39,553 --> 00:29:42,255 Or try it the old-fashioned way? 382 00:29:42,389 --> 00:29:44,157 Can't hurt to practice. 383 00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:54,902 Oh, fuck. 384 00:30:07,481 --> 00:30:09,182 Hello, I'm Jerri Dandridge, 385 00:30:09,316 --> 00:30:11,218 and I'm running to be your mayor. 386 00:30:11,351 --> 00:30:14,054 When I came to this country in 1687, 387 00:30:14,187 --> 00:30:16,724 I had a vision of what America could be... 388 00:30:16,858 --> 00:30:19,125 a land of opportunity, freedom, 389 00:30:19,259 --> 00:30:20,895 and feasting in the eternal darkness. 390 00:30:21,061 --> 00:30:24,030 I support the second amendment because guns don't kill people. 391 00:30:24,164 --> 00:30:25,800 Hells yeah! 392 00:30:25,933 --> 00:30:27,768 I do. Wait, what? 393 00:30:29,402 --> 00:30:32,005 See you at the straight pride rally! 394 00:30:35,175 --> 00:30:36,610 Unlike my fellow Republicans, 395 00:30:36,744 --> 00:30:39,747 I support the full legalization of marijuana. 396 00:30:39,881 --> 00:30:41,114 Sweet. 397 00:30:41,248 --> 00:30:44,117 Makes 'em easier to catch. 398 00:30:44,251 --> 00:30:46,152 And I'm staunchly pro-life. 399 00:30:46,286 --> 00:30:49,322 As Whitney Houston and the textile industry once said, 400 00:30:49,456 --> 00:30:52,259 "The children are our future." 401 00:30:56,563 --> 00:30:58,098 Mmm! 402 00:30:58,231 --> 00:30:59,834 Almost fresh out the oven. 403 00:31:06,774 --> 00:31:10,277 My name is Jerri Dandridge, and I approve this message. 404 00:31:18,351 --> 00:31:20,620 Sometimes... 405 00:31:20,755 --> 00:31:24,090 household cleaners just won't cut it. 406 00:31:24,224 --> 00:31:26,928 A tough job calls for a tougher clean. 407 00:31:27,060 --> 00:31:30,130 From the makers of SpikeTape comes CleanSlate... 408 00:31:30,263 --> 00:31:35,201 the only evidence eraser capable of executing a perfect clean. 409 00:31:35,335 --> 00:31:37,270 There's nothing humorous about about humerus 410 00:31:37,404 --> 00:31:39,439 getting stuck in your grout. 411 00:31:39,573 --> 00:31:42,642 Now, with CleanSlate's patented power nozzle, 412 00:31:42,777 --> 00:31:44,845 you can destroy latent bio-evidence 413 00:31:44,979 --> 00:31:47,380 on a molecular level. 414 00:31:47,514 --> 00:31:48,615 Mmm-mmm! 415 00:31:48,749 --> 00:31:50,116 Look at that shine. 416 00:31:50,250 --> 00:31:53,153 Order now and you'll receive your very own body dissolver 417 00:31:53,286 --> 00:31:54,755 absolutely free! 418 00:31:54,889 --> 00:31:56,757 Send cash and money orders to... 419 00:31:56,891 --> 00:31:58,793 1-800-No-Vdnce. 420 00:31:58,926 --> 00:32:01,461 That's 1-800-No-Vdnce. 421 00:32:01,595 --> 00:32:03,396 Say goodbye to prison time 422 00:32:03,530 --> 00:32:06,633 and say hello to reasonable doubt 423 00:32:06,767 --> 00:32:08,703 with CleanSlate. 424 00:32:08,836 --> 00:32:11,072 Now with lime! 425 00:32:11,204 --> 00:32:14,041 Nothing to see here. 426 00:32:15,910 --> 00:32:17,110 Down in the dumps? 427 00:32:17,243 --> 00:32:19,013 Feel like your life is a waste? 428 00:32:19,145 --> 00:32:20,145 Rubbish. 429 00:32:20,246 --> 00:32:21,615 Dispose of those silly notions 430 00:32:21,749 --> 00:32:24,451 and join me for another edition of "Dead by Midnight." 431 00:32:24,584 --> 00:32:26,053 Our next piece begs the question, 432 00:32:26,186 --> 00:32:27,788 "What are we most afraid of?" 433 00:32:27,922 --> 00:32:30,557 Is it the horrors we run from in the dark 434 00:32:30,691 --> 00:32:32,760 or the fiends we make along the way? 435 00:32:32,893 --> 00:32:35,328 We'll be seeing a solo performance of tonight's 436 00:32:35,462 --> 00:32:39,366 terrifying toss-out... "Clean UR Room." 437 00:32:39,499 --> 00:32:42,770 You can pause, but you can't hide. 438 00:32:54,180 --> 00:32:57,051 Oh, yeah, baby. 439 00:32:57,183 --> 00:32:59,120 Oh, yeah. Show me. 440 00:33:15,301 --> 00:33:18,005 See you soon. 441 00:33:22,076 --> 00:33:23,778 Damn it. 442 00:33:29,349 --> 00:33:31,651 What? Why was your door locked? 443 00:33:31,786 --> 00:33:33,420 Mom, I'm not a kid anymore, okay? 444 00:33:33,553 --> 00:33:35,156 I need privacy. My own space. 445 00:33:35,288 --> 00:33:36,768 Okay, well, when you start paying rent 446 00:33:36,824 --> 00:33:38,367 for your own space, you can lock the door. 447 00:33:38,391 --> 00:33:39,860 Until then, it remains unlocked. 448 00:33:39,994 --> 00:33:41,062 What did you want? 449 00:33:41,227 --> 00:33:42,462 I'm going out for the evening. 450 00:33:42,595 --> 00:33:44,074 There's plenty of stuff in the freezer. 451 00:33:44,098 --> 00:33:46,433 You can microwave it. Please read the directions. 452 00:33:46,566 --> 00:33:49,737 Do not blow up the house. Okay. 453 00:33:49,870 --> 00:33:51,538 And clean your room! 454 00:34:35,049 --> 00:34:36,583 Aah! Aah! 455 00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:02,575 Alright, I'm back. 456 00:35:04,111 --> 00:35:05,679 Ready to get wrecked? 457 00:35:05,813 --> 00:35:07,447 Yeah, okay. 458 00:35:07,580 --> 00:35:09,415 I owned you last time, bitch. Let's go. 459 00:35:28,501 --> 00:35:30,370 I'm fine. 460 00:35:30,503 --> 00:35:31,705 Little bitch. 461 00:35:31,839 --> 00:35:33,640 No, I wasn't... That doesn't count. 462 00:35:33,774 --> 00:35:36,643 I mean, yeah, it counts, but okay, fuck you. 463 00:35:41,381 --> 00:35:42,716 Yeah, how you like that, huh? 464 00:35:42,850 --> 00:35:45,351 A little T-bag. How you like that, huh? 465 00:35:45,485 --> 00:35:47,188 How you like that shit? 466 00:36:17,885 --> 00:36:20,221 Alright, I'm done. 467 00:36:20,353 --> 00:36:23,257 I can't handle the ass-beating you're getting right now. 468 00:36:23,389 --> 00:36:25,059 I'll see ya tomorrow. 469 00:37:08,102 --> 00:37:09,803 Mom? 470 00:37:14,041 --> 00:37:15,743 Mom? 471 00:37:20,814 --> 00:37:22,116 Mom? 472 00:37:38,032 --> 00:37:40,868 Oh. Oh, no. 473 00:37:41,001 --> 00:37:42,502 Oh, no. Oh, no. 474 00:37:42,635 --> 00:37:44,972 Oh, God. Oh! 475 00:37:45,105 --> 00:37:47,408 Oh! Ah! 476 00:37:47,540 --> 00:37:49,777 Oh! Whoa! 477 00:37:49,910 --> 00:37:52,445 Ah! 478 00:38:02,856 --> 00:38:04,224 Ah! 479 00:38:04,358 --> 00:38:06,160 Oh! 480 00:38:12,866 --> 00:38:14,134 No. 481 00:38:41,895 --> 00:38:43,197 Nuh! 482 00:39:04,251 --> 00:39:06,586 Ah! 483 00:39:06,720 --> 00:39:08,621 Nice work, genius. 484 00:39:48,128 --> 00:39:49,830 Let's do this. 485 00:39:58,972 --> 00:40:00,340 Mom? 486 00:40:11,852 --> 00:40:16,223 Hey, if anyone's in here, you better get out! 487 00:40:18,559 --> 00:40:21,929 You'd hate to be at the other end of this sword. 488 00:40:24,597 --> 00:40:26,967 Yah! 489 00:40:27,101 --> 00:40:29,570 That's a wall. 490 00:40:29,703 --> 00:40:31,637 Awesome. 491 00:40:33,673 --> 00:40:37,578 Hey, you see those reflexes, huh? 492 00:40:37,711 --> 00:40:41,048 If that was you, you'd have been a goner. 493 00:40:41,181 --> 00:40:42,516 Huh? 494 00:41:00,367 --> 00:41:02,169 Okay, okay. 495 00:41:02,302 --> 00:41:04,738 Cut the shit, Trevor. 496 00:41:04,872 --> 00:41:07,808 It's all in your head. You're an adult man. 497 00:41:07,941 --> 00:41:10,077 Be an adult. 498 00:41:10,210 --> 00:41:11,745 I'm a man. 499 00:41:13,646 --> 00:41:15,315 I'm a man. 500 00:41:58,559 --> 00:42:00,093 Mr. Hot Dog? 501 00:42:05,933 --> 00:42:08,135 I can't believe Mom put you down here. 502 00:42:14,908 --> 00:42:17,377 Oh, shit. 503 00:42:25,652 --> 00:42:27,689 What the hell? 504 00:44:18,098 --> 00:44:20,167 What is going on in here? 505 00:44:20,300 --> 00:44:23,970 You can't... You can't just pile your stuff in the corner. 506 00:44:25,305 --> 00:44:27,050 I really don't think you understand the concept 507 00:44:27,074 --> 00:44:28,975 of clean your room. 508 00:44:31,746 --> 00:44:33,513 Mom? 509 00:44:40,722 --> 00:44:43,290 What are you looking at? 510 00:44:56,103 --> 00:44:58,706 No, no, no! 511 00:46:25,726 --> 00:46:29,496 Mm, I just feel awful about the way that ended. 512 00:46:29,629 --> 00:46:31,231 For the monster, I mean. 513 00:46:31,364 --> 00:46:35,402 Oh, don't look at me like that. I get off on being trashy. 514 00:46:35,535 --> 00:46:37,971 Litter-ally. 515 00:46:47,614 --> 00:46:51,151 But let's suppose we dispose of the deposed for now. 516 00:46:51,284 --> 00:46:53,987 Until some fresh souls get tossed out, 517 00:46:54,120 --> 00:46:55,923 you'll know where to find me. 518 00:46:56,056 --> 00:46:59,192 I'll be right here waiting... 519 00:46:59,326 --> 00:47:00,994 for you. 520 00:47:01,127 --> 00:47:04,966 Every year on Valentine's Day, people spend hundreds of dollars 521 00:47:05,098 --> 00:47:06,375 trying to tell their loved ones... 522 00:47:06,399 --> 00:47:08,668 fuck... how they truly feel. 523 00:47:08,803 --> 00:47:10,938 But what about the people you hate? 524 00:47:11,071 --> 00:47:12,940 Don't you want to tell your co-workers 525 00:47:13,073 --> 00:47:14,674 how you really feel about them? 526 00:47:14,809 --> 00:47:17,477 Well, that's why I started Bag of Dicks Delivery. 527 00:47:17,611 --> 00:47:21,414 I will send a bag of dicks to your enemy's doorstep. 528 00:47:21,548 --> 00:47:24,251 And we got a variety of dick options available. 529 00:47:24,384 --> 00:47:26,520 ♪ Bag of Dicks, Bag of Dicks ♪ 530 00:47:26,653 --> 00:47:28,923 ♪ Look at you sending that Bag of Dicks ♪ 531 00:47:29,055 --> 00:47:31,124 ♪ Bag of Dicks for delivery ♪ 532 00:47:31,258 --> 00:47:32,927 ♪ One for every enemy ♪ 533 00:47:33,059 --> 00:47:35,328 ♪ It's a bag, it's a bag, it's a bag, it's a bag ♪ 534 00:47:35,462 --> 00:47:37,464 ♪ It's a bag, it's a bag, it's a bag, it's a bag ♪ 535 00:47:37,597 --> 00:47:39,666 ♪ It's a bag, it's a bag, it's a bag, it's a bag ♪ 536 00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:41,444 ♪ It's dicks, dicks, dicks, dicks, dicks, dicks, ♪ 537 00:47:41,468 --> 00:47:43,069 ♪ Dicks, dicks, dicks ♪ 538 00:47:52,713 --> 00:47:56,984 Killing the planet for profits, campaign meddling, fake news, 539 00:47:57,117 --> 00:47:59,720 and the rise of race-baiting nationalism 540 00:47:59,854 --> 00:48:02,155 have all been debunked as libtard cluckery. 541 00:48:03,691 --> 00:48:05,211 But with the advent of a new program... 542 00:48:05,258 --> 00:48:07,294 Streaming service. 543 00:48:07,427 --> 00:48:09,596 Right, programmable streaming 544 00:48:09,730 --> 00:48:13,199 literally pulling people's souls out of their bodies, 545 00:48:13,333 --> 00:48:14,733 critics have been quick to point out 546 00:48:14,802 --> 00:48:17,137 this is the work of Satan himself. 547 00:48:17,270 --> 00:48:18,605 Do you care to comment? 548 00:48:18,739 --> 00:48:22,642 He goes by "Luci" now, and while he may be the owner, 549 00:48:22,777 --> 00:48:25,445 you can think of me as the CEO. 550 00:48:25,579 --> 00:48:28,548 Soul-harvesting this quarter has definitely seen an increase, 551 00:48:28,683 --> 00:48:31,551 but I wanted to get back to the eternal suffering 552 00:48:31,686 --> 00:48:35,155 and blind devotion that this all started with. 553 00:48:35,288 --> 00:48:37,357 Are you left-handed or right, Chirk? 554 00:48:37,490 --> 00:48:38,793 Right. 555 00:48:38,926 --> 00:48:40,995 Right. Pick up the hammer with your left hand. 556 00:48:41,127 --> 00:48:44,097 See, I don't think of suffering as a byproduct. 557 00:48:44,230 --> 00:48:46,566 I want it to be our new main export. 558 00:48:46,701 --> 00:48:48,568 Now smash your right hand. 559 00:48:48,703 --> 00:48:49,904 You got it. 560 00:48:51,471 --> 00:48:53,273 It's not enough to throw a wide net. 561 00:48:53,406 --> 00:48:56,476 I want to be in every home across the world 562 00:48:56,610 --> 00:48:59,346 with the specific intent of pain. 563 00:48:59,479 --> 00:49:01,181 This program is just the beginning. 564 00:49:01,314 --> 00:49:03,951 Once we find the right technology, 565 00:49:04,085 --> 00:49:05,518 no one will be safe. 566 00:49:05,652 --> 00:49:09,255 Darkness will reign, the world will suffer, 567 00:49:09,389 --> 00:49:12,860 and up next is another episode of "Dead by Midnight." 568 00:49:12,994 --> 00:49:17,999 Hi, I'm Cassie, the world's first AI virtual home assistant, 569 00:49:18,131 --> 00:49:19,499 and I'm here to help. 570 00:49:19,633 --> 00:49:22,335 I can understand every human language, 571 00:49:22,469 --> 00:49:24,872 and I'm always listening. 572 00:49:25,006 --> 00:49:26,807 Need me to set the thermostat? 573 00:49:29,309 --> 00:49:31,846 Start dinner? 574 00:49:31,979 --> 00:49:33,380 Train Fido? 575 00:49:33,513 --> 00:49:36,249 Play dead. Good boy. 576 00:49:36,383 --> 00:49:39,319 Or even assist with home security. 577 00:49:43,791 --> 00:49:46,259 Get the fuck out! I'm calling the cops! 578 00:49:57,004 --> 00:49:59,940 I can't wait to "take care of" your family. 579 00:50:00,074 --> 00:50:03,678 So go ahead and let me know, how can I hel... 580 00:50:03,811 --> 00:50:05,046 hurt you. 581 00:50:12,153 --> 00:50:13,721 Picture, if you will, a world 582 00:50:13,854 --> 00:50:17,524 in which imagination and reality are one. 583 00:50:17,657 --> 00:50:22,495 A reality virtually impossible to differentiate from fantasy. 584 00:50:22,629 --> 00:50:26,266 A dream world identical to your worst nightmare. 585 00:50:27,835 --> 00:50:31,538 That is the sad truth for our next pitiful victims, as well. 586 00:50:31,671 --> 00:50:36,476 So follow me as I weave Dante Green and Vanessa Ellis 587 00:50:36,609 --> 00:50:39,546 through a World Wide Web of danger 588 00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:43,249 in this next installment of "Dead by Midnight"... 589 00:50:43,383 --> 00:50:45,853 "Heroes of Time." 590 00:50:45,986 --> 00:50:47,454 You can pause. 591 00:50:49,023 --> 00:50:50,691 But you cannot hide. 592 00:51:10,577 --> 00:51:13,114 Whoa! Watch out, Master Zeke! 593 00:51:13,246 --> 00:51:14,647 Yaah! 594 00:51:16,583 --> 00:51:19,486 What am I supposed to do? My spells are not working! 595 00:51:19,619 --> 00:51:21,654 C'mon, Zeke, you're all about dynamic storylines, 596 00:51:21,789 --> 00:51:23,556 but you ruin every genuine moment. 597 00:51:23,691 --> 00:51:26,060 That's just who I am. 598 00:51:26,193 --> 00:51:27,695 A moment ruiner. 599 00:51:38,239 --> 00:51:40,207 Good work here today! 600 00:51:40,340 --> 00:51:42,342 Zernithia will be safer place 601 00:51:42,475 --> 00:51:45,345 knowing that that fiend is vanquished. 602 00:51:45,478 --> 00:51:49,183 You two should celebrate this victory. 603 00:51:49,315 --> 00:51:51,185 Together. 604 00:51:51,317 --> 00:51:53,053 Mm, yes. 605 00:51:57,992 --> 00:52:00,027 Sorry, guys, needed a breather. 606 00:52:01,661 --> 00:52:03,864 Hey, Jacklynn. You're off work late. 607 00:52:03,998 --> 00:52:05,900 Yeah, I don't want to talk about it, but, um, 608 00:52:06,033 --> 00:52:07,567 I'm gonna log on, unless I'm ruining 609 00:52:07,701 --> 00:52:10,603 everyone else's good time. 610 00:52:10,738 --> 00:52:12,605 ♪ Zeke and Amelia ♪ 611 00:52:12,740 --> 00:52:14,809 ♪ Sitting in a tree ♪ 612 00:52:14,942 --> 00:52:16,509 Shut up. 613 00:53:22,309 --> 00:53:24,211 Jacklynn? 614 00:53:24,345 --> 00:53:25,478 Dailies, huh? 615 00:53:25,612 --> 00:53:26,612 Zeke, no. 616 00:53:26,714 --> 00:53:28,381 Whatever's on your mind... 617 00:53:28,514 --> 00:53:29,783 I'll be back in an hour. 618 00:53:29,917 --> 00:53:31,427 It's not my fault you got off work late 619 00:53:31,451 --> 00:53:33,921 and missed the greatest battle ever. 620 00:53:34,054 --> 00:53:35,222 Hey, rules. 621 00:53:35,356 --> 00:53:36,556 Remember, no real-world stuff. 622 00:53:36,690 --> 00:53:38,859 Fine, fine. But you owe me. 623 00:53:38,993 --> 00:53:41,195 You can kiss your Mohino Orphanage daily goodbye. 624 00:53:41,328 --> 00:53:43,697 And your generous gift of sweet gold. Instead... 625 00:53:43,831 --> 00:53:46,066 "Knights of Honor" should come first. 626 00:53:46,200 --> 00:53:50,603 You and Zeke did create it to better the kingdom of Zernithia. 627 00:53:50,738 --> 00:53:54,141 Oh, and the scrolls. Don't forget the scrolls, too. 628 00:53:54,275 --> 00:53:55,843 Yes, master Zeke. 629 00:53:55,976 --> 00:54:01,815 Let us party up and go into Maywicker Forest for Amelia. 630 00:54:01,949 --> 00:54:04,184 Oh, yes, I've been waiting for the gear 631 00:54:04,318 --> 00:54:06,921 that drops in that dungeon for like weeks. 632 00:54:07,054 --> 00:54:10,456 Are you kidding me? I said no. 633 00:54:10,590 --> 00:54:12,425 You done trying to convince me? 634 00:54:12,558 --> 00:54:13,894 Bye. 635 00:54:18,032 --> 00:54:20,968 Seriously, dude, what is your problem? 636 00:54:23,636 --> 00:54:25,672 What's going on? Are you alright? 637 00:54:43,656 --> 00:54:45,726 What just happened to us? 638 00:54:45,859 --> 00:54:46,894 Ah! 639 00:54:47,027 --> 00:54:50,097 What the hell? I-I gotta get outta here. 640 00:54:50,230 --> 00:54:51,932 Everyone calm down. 641 00:54:53,666 --> 00:54:55,568 I can't log off. 642 00:54:57,438 --> 00:54:59,539 I-I can't log off either. 643 00:54:59,672 --> 00:55:01,308 It's probably just a bug or something. 644 00:55:01,442 --> 00:55:02,642 We'll give it a little time. 645 00:55:02,776 --> 00:55:05,145 I'm sure the DMs will fix it in no time. 646 00:55:05,279 --> 00:55:06,880 Well said, Zeke. 647 00:55:07,014 --> 00:55:13,087 Have faith in God of Jonos, for she shall protect us. 648 00:55:13,220 --> 00:55:16,156 Are you still RP-ing after that? 649 00:55:16,290 --> 00:55:17,590 I wasted enough time here. 650 00:55:17,725 --> 00:55:19,492 Jacklynn, we've got to stick together. 651 00:55:35,843 --> 00:55:37,111 Hunter? Hmm? 652 00:55:37,244 --> 00:55:40,314 Did you queue us for Maywicker Forest? 653 00:55:40,447 --> 00:55:43,250 I don't remember queuing us. 654 00:55:46,286 --> 00:55:49,655 I don't think this is Maywicker forest. 655 00:55:49,790 --> 00:55:52,359 Seems a lot less foresty than I recall. 656 00:55:52,493 --> 00:55:56,030 I'm confused. If this isn't that dungeon, then... 657 00:55:56,163 --> 00:55:57,663 Did you teleport us, Jacklynn? 658 00:55:57,798 --> 00:56:00,633 No. I was teleporting myself to Rin. 659 00:56:00,768 --> 00:56:04,271 This can't be. Hunter, how did you? 660 00:56:04,405 --> 00:56:05,706 How did I what? 661 00:56:05,839 --> 00:56:08,809 You sly dog, you. I don't know how you did it. 662 00:56:08,942 --> 00:56:10,411 But we're in Sir Rawkin's Keep. 663 00:56:10,543 --> 00:56:11,543 Ah! 664 00:56:11,611 --> 00:56:12,980 Wait a minute. 665 00:56:13,113 --> 00:56:15,215 Did you get early access to that new patch? 666 00:56:15,349 --> 00:56:17,084 Is that why Rin was so mad at you? 667 00:56:17,217 --> 00:56:19,353 Wait, w-what is Zeke talking about? 668 00:56:19,486 --> 00:56:24,091 I have no idea, but this has nothing to do with that. 669 00:56:24,224 --> 00:56:26,060 Sir Rawkin's Keep. So hyped! 670 00:56:26,193 --> 00:56:28,495 Last one to Sir Rawkin forks over a million gold. 671 00:56:28,628 --> 00:56:30,898 Oh, you're on! 672 00:56:31,031 --> 00:56:33,599 Stay together, huh? 673 00:56:33,734 --> 00:56:36,837 Okay, so Sir Rawkin is a part of the update, 674 00:56:36,970 --> 00:56:39,605 and no one is allowed in that dungeon for weeks. 675 00:56:39,740 --> 00:56:41,175 And Rin? 676 00:56:41,308 --> 00:56:42,743 Explain now. 677 00:56:42,876 --> 00:56:46,180 Will people stop assuming I know what's going on here? 678 00:56:46,313 --> 00:56:50,084 Plus our DPS just ran off without their healer or tank. 679 00:56:50,217 --> 00:56:53,787 Let's focus on catching up with them. Hmm? 680 00:57:02,162 --> 00:57:04,431 That was almost too easy. 681 00:57:04,565 --> 00:57:05,999 Where are the monsters? 682 00:57:06,133 --> 00:57:09,470 Better question... where are Zeke and Amelia? 683 00:57:09,602 --> 00:57:11,205 I have no idea. 684 00:57:11,338 --> 00:57:13,373 Is that your new catchphrase tonight? 685 00:57:13,507 --> 00:57:14,607 Yes. 686 00:57:21,415 --> 00:57:24,251 Welcome to my lair. 687 00:57:24,384 --> 00:57:25,986 Today will be your last. 688 00:57:26,120 --> 00:57:28,689 Without DPS, this will be most unpleasant. 689 00:57:28,822 --> 00:57:30,524 We could die if we're not careful. 690 00:57:30,656 --> 00:57:32,025 Wait. 691 00:57:32,159 --> 00:57:33,803 Are you serious about fighting him, just the two of us? 692 00:57:33,827 --> 00:57:35,395 All the more reason to focus up. 693 00:57:35,529 --> 00:57:38,966 Now cast Secure and we'll show him my big sword! 694 00:57:39,099 --> 00:57:41,902 Hey, badass, over here. 695 00:57:43,537 --> 00:57:45,305 Hoo-aah! 696 00:58:09,596 --> 00:58:10,697 What are you doing? 697 00:58:10,831 --> 00:58:12,466 Heal me. Help fight. 698 00:58:36,957 --> 00:58:39,293 I'm bleeding out over here! 699 00:58:43,964 --> 00:58:45,465 Where's my support? 700 00:59:12,292 --> 00:59:15,028 Raaah! 701 00:59:15,162 --> 00:59:16,863 Looks like we're late to the party. 702 00:59:16,997 --> 00:59:18,232 Yeah, apparently. 703 00:59:18,365 --> 00:59:20,534 Thank Jonos you two are here. 704 00:59:33,080 --> 00:59:35,215 So, a large part of me wants to scream 705 00:59:35,349 --> 00:59:36,950 my brains out that half our team 706 00:59:37,084 --> 00:59:40,153 bailed on the first boss fight until halfway through. 707 00:59:40,287 --> 00:59:44,091 And half of the other half was barely functioning as a team. 708 00:59:44,224 --> 00:59:48,228 But I'm just going to skip all that and instead kindly ask, 709 00:59:48,362 --> 00:59:51,231 what do you think went wrong back there? 710 00:59:51,365 --> 00:59:53,500 I think it all started when I said, 711 00:59:53,634 --> 00:59:55,435 "Do you seriously think that we can fight him 712 00:59:55,569 --> 00:59:57,070 with just the two of us?" 713 00:59:57,204 --> 00:59:59,482 And you said, "Of course we can because I'm a dumb idiot." 714 00:59:59,506 --> 01:00:03,210 So that justifies not helping? I could have died. 715 01:00:03,343 --> 01:00:06,980 Look, my shitty job with the shitty pay 716 01:00:07,114 --> 01:00:09,283 that allows me to afford my shitty life 717 01:00:09,416 --> 01:00:11,418 couldn't have gotten any shittier 718 01:00:11,551 --> 01:00:15,355 when my boss... he offered me a 25-cent raise 719 01:00:15,489 --> 01:00:18,492 while grabbing my ass. 720 01:00:18,625 --> 01:00:21,395 And I didn't stop him. I was too scared. 721 01:00:21,528 --> 01:00:26,333 And I didn't turn him down, because fuck it. 722 01:00:28,268 --> 01:00:34,174 But I'm so glad that you get to play this game 24/7 723 01:00:34,308 --> 01:00:36,610 and that you get to be Mr. Know-It-All. 724 01:00:36,744 --> 01:00:39,479 But when I log on here for the sole purpose 725 01:00:39,613 --> 01:00:41,048 of escaping my day 726 01:00:41,181 --> 01:00:43,984 and you tell me to leave my drama at the door, 727 01:00:44,117 --> 01:00:47,321 it makes me wonder if you even know what drama is. 728 01:00:47,454 --> 01:00:50,457 I... 729 01:00:50,590 --> 01:00:52,326 I don't know what to say. 730 01:00:53,927 --> 01:00:55,529 You're unbelievable. 731 01:01:05,038 --> 01:01:07,107 Whoa, whoa. 732 01:01:07,240 --> 01:01:09,876 Did Hunter really beat Rin in a PVP match? 733 01:01:10,010 --> 01:01:12,279 Boys will be boys for a girl's heart. 734 01:01:12,412 --> 01:01:14,047 Seriously. 735 01:01:14,181 --> 01:01:16,450 You do have a way with words. 736 01:01:16,583 --> 01:01:18,103 But do you think Hunter brought us here 737 01:01:18,185 --> 01:01:19,821 just to impress Jacklynn? 738 01:01:19,953 --> 01:01:23,857 If I were you, I would take this all in. 739 01:01:26,093 --> 01:01:28,696 What's that smell? 740 01:01:28,830 --> 01:01:30,430 I thought I was going crazy. 741 01:01:30,564 --> 01:01:32,999 I didn't think senses came with the last patch update. 742 01:01:33,133 --> 01:01:35,869 You? Crazy? No. 743 01:01:36,002 --> 01:01:38,672 When you cast your fireball, I felt it. 744 01:01:38,806 --> 01:01:40,907 The heat, it could've burnt me. 745 01:01:41,041 --> 01:01:43,745 Ya know... 746 01:01:43,877 --> 01:01:46,646 I can melt your heart. 747 01:01:46,781 --> 01:01:50,718 Not if that guy behind you sets me on fire first. 748 01:01:50,852 --> 01:01:53,086 Who dare challenge my beauty? 749 01:01:54,856 --> 01:01:56,990 Rawkin, I thought we killed you. 750 01:02:03,196 --> 01:02:05,833 I am no more Rawkin than you are a mage 751 01:02:05,966 --> 01:02:09,536 or she a bard or he a paladin 752 01:02:09,669 --> 01:02:12,172 or she a cleric. 753 01:02:12,305 --> 01:02:14,508 Something is wrong. 754 01:02:14,641 --> 01:02:15,942 Everyone. 755 01:02:16,076 --> 01:02:17,879 Rawkin is more dangerous than before 756 01:02:18,011 --> 01:02:19,246 and not zoned in. 757 01:02:19,379 --> 01:02:20,848 We need to go. We need to run. 758 01:02:20,981 --> 01:02:23,583 Knights of Honor don't run. 759 01:02:23,718 --> 01:02:26,086 - Let's waste him. - I'll get higher aggro than you. 760 01:02:26,219 --> 01:02:27,855 Challenge accepted. 761 01:02:27,988 --> 01:02:29,824 Damn it. 762 01:02:31,324 --> 01:02:33,660 Ah, he means business. 763 01:02:33,795 --> 01:02:36,129 Hey, Rawkin, let's dance. 764 01:02:36,263 --> 01:02:38,900 Jacklynn, please, no screwing around this time. 765 01:02:39,032 --> 01:02:40,934 Seriously? 766 01:02:52,747 --> 01:02:53,947 Amelia! 767 01:02:54,080 --> 01:02:55,415 Son of a... 768 01:03:05,625 --> 01:03:07,494 Levarro! 769 01:03:07,627 --> 01:03:08,995 Sizzle! 770 01:03:18,605 --> 01:03:19,874 Teleport. 771 01:03:29,583 --> 01:03:30,852 Teleport! 772 01:03:43,965 --> 01:03:45,700 Get me outta here. 773 01:03:45,833 --> 01:03:47,334 Get me outta here, get me outta here. 774 01:03:47,467 --> 01:03:49,402 Get me outta here. We're gonna die in this game! 775 01:03:49,536 --> 01:03:51,004 Enough! 776 01:03:53,173 --> 01:03:54,842 Get it together. 777 01:03:54,976 --> 01:03:56,510 Get it together? 778 01:03:56,643 --> 01:03:58,411 We're stuck. 779 01:03:58,545 --> 01:04:00,447 For now. 780 01:04:00,580 --> 01:04:04,084 Don't give me that response. It's true. 781 01:04:04,217 --> 01:04:05,417 We all knew something was wrong 782 01:04:05,519 --> 01:04:06,879 when all our heads started hurting, 783 01:04:06,954 --> 01:04:08,856 and no one said anything or wanted to admit it. 784 01:04:08,990 --> 01:04:10,123 Look on the bright side. 785 01:04:10,257 --> 01:04:11,697 You're stuck in a game that you love. 786 01:04:11,759 --> 01:04:13,670 You're away from the so-called life that you hate. 787 01:04:13,694 --> 01:04:16,831 Zeke, if it was you and me, 788 01:04:16,964 --> 01:04:20,500 running away from reality wouldn't be that bad. 789 01:04:20,634 --> 01:04:24,538 But there's Hunter and Amelia, and they're dead. 790 01:04:24,671 --> 01:04:26,273 Not in-game dead, but dead dead. 791 01:04:26,406 --> 01:04:28,046 We've died hundreds of times in this game, 792 01:04:28,108 --> 01:04:29,543 and we've never seen blooded death, 793 01:04:29,676 --> 01:04:30,845 let alone that. 794 01:04:30,978 --> 01:04:32,212 Okay, I know the difference 795 01:04:32,345 --> 01:04:35,282 between real pain and character pain. 796 01:04:35,415 --> 01:04:37,718 My hands are on fire. 797 01:04:37,852 --> 01:04:39,219 He needs to die. 798 01:04:44,025 --> 01:04:45,258 Sir Rawkin, what do you want? 799 01:04:45,392 --> 01:04:48,161 What any overpowered final boss wants. 800 01:04:48,295 --> 01:04:49,964 He wants to finish us. 801 01:04:50,096 --> 01:04:51,699 You speak out of turn, fledgling. 802 01:04:51,832 --> 01:04:56,570 Your death is only necessary if Jacklynn does not join me. 803 01:04:58,238 --> 01:04:59,439 But why? 804 01:04:59,573 --> 01:05:03,744 Your world is a nightmare. But my world? 805 01:05:03,878 --> 01:05:05,612 My world is Heaven. 806 01:05:05,746 --> 01:05:07,147 Cute reality. 807 01:05:07,280 --> 01:05:08,816 But why me? 808 01:05:08,950 --> 01:05:12,652 You are but amongst 10 of the strongest players in Threa, 809 01:05:12,787 --> 01:05:15,622 proven today in this very dungeon. 810 01:05:15,756 --> 01:05:18,793 Jacklynn, this is a game. 811 01:05:18,926 --> 01:05:20,928 This is no game. 812 01:05:21,062 --> 01:05:23,030 Jacklynn, you can't actually be considering this. 813 01:05:23,163 --> 01:05:24,699 He killed Hunter. He killed Amelia! 814 01:05:24,832 --> 01:05:27,969 You said it yourself. 815 01:05:28,101 --> 01:05:30,170 I belong here. 816 01:05:30,303 --> 01:05:33,640 No, don't go. Jacklynn. 817 01:05:33,774 --> 01:05:36,877 Spare Zeke... 818 01:05:37,011 --> 01:05:38,545 and I'm yours. 819 01:05:47,220 --> 01:05:49,122 Jacklynn? 820 01:05:53,794 --> 01:05:56,797 Jacklynn! 821 01:07:23,984 --> 01:07:25,351 Yes. 822 01:07:25,485 --> 01:07:28,789 As I walk through the uncanny valley of death, 823 01:07:28,923 --> 01:07:31,158 you shall fear no evil, 824 01:07:31,291 --> 01:07:33,560 for I am that evil, 825 01:07:33,694 --> 01:07:36,663 and it takes more than a staff and a rod to comfort me. 826 01:07:36,797 --> 01:07:39,466 But surely you can be more creative than that. 827 01:07:39,599 --> 01:07:41,836 That's all for tonight, you victims in waiting. 828 01:07:41,969 --> 01:07:45,106 Tune in next time for another terrifying tale. 829 01:07:45,238 --> 01:07:48,943 Else, your digital dreams become virtual insanity. 830 01:07:49,076 --> 01:07:50,577 Ta-ta. 831 01:07:50,711 --> 01:07:54,380 Before Murderol, I was a psycho. 832 01:07:54,514 --> 01:07:56,884 I once smashed a hardware-store employee 833 01:07:57,017 --> 01:08:00,988 in the teeth with a crowbar, simply because he insisted 834 01:08:01,122 --> 01:08:03,323 that there was no murder aisle in the store. 835 01:08:03,456 --> 01:08:05,391 Murder aisles do not exist. 836 01:08:05,525 --> 01:08:08,428 That's not reasonable behavior. 837 01:08:08,561 --> 01:08:10,765 But Murderol changed all that. 838 01:08:10,898 --> 01:08:13,266 If seeing a beautiful woman takes you back 839 01:08:13,399 --> 01:08:15,435 to late-night strolls in the woods 840 01:08:15,568 --> 01:08:18,404 and you wanna snap her neck like a stalk of celery, 841 01:08:18,538 --> 01:08:20,373 Murderol may be right for you. 842 01:08:20,507 --> 01:08:21,776 Patients taking Murderol 843 01:08:21,909 --> 01:08:23,911 working no more than eight hours a week from home 844 01:08:24,044 --> 01:08:26,981 were shown to have reductions in their homicidal tendencies 845 01:08:27,114 --> 01:08:28,648 by over 70%. 846 01:08:28,783 --> 01:08:31,143 Side effects include, sneezing, coughing, Distler's Whistle, 847 01:08:31,218 --> 01:08:32,858 mild to severe death, Rorschach Sphincter, 848 01:08:32,920 --> 01:08:34,487 inability to say the word "aluminum," 849 01:08:34,621 --> 01:08:36,581 night sweats, day sweats, blood sweats with tears, 850 01:08:36,623 --> 01:08:38,135 weird nipple-it is, Panda Bear Coprophilia, 851 01:08:38,159 --> 01:08:39,359 tenderness of the breasts... 852 01:08:39,492 --> 01:08:40,895 Wouldn't exactly call these breasts. 853 01:08:41,028 --> 01:08:42,629 And giggling... lots of giggling. 854 01:08:42,763 --> 01:08:44,397 An unusual amount for a man of his size. 855 01:08:44,531 --> 01:08:46,734 Hey! I don't giggle, fuckhead. 856 01:08:46,867 --> 01:08:48,434 He does... he giggles every night 857 01:08:48,568 --> 01:08:50,237 like a Vegas stripper rolling on ketamine. 858 01:08:50,370 --> 01:08:51,906 That's enough! 859 01:09:09,156 --> 01:09:10,390 Fuck you. 860 01:09:18,999 --> 01:09:22,970 Murderol... take a chill pill. 861 01:09:27,975 --> 01:09:29,375 Hello? 862 01:09:29,509 --> 01:09:32,046 Luci, bubi. 863 01:09:32,179 --> 01:09:34,581 Oh, yes, long time no... 864 01:09:35,950 --> 01:09:39,485 No, retirement's great, never better. 865 01:09:42,622 --> 01:09:44,357 Oh, really? 866 01:09:44,490 --> 01:09:46,559 Oh, the viewership is that bad, huh? 867 01:09:46,694 --> 01:09:50,430 Click "subscribe" before it's too late. 868 01:09:50,563 --> 01:09:53,433 Well, I suppose I could come in and take a look. 869 01:09:53,566 --> 01:09:56,337 Just for old times' sake. 870 01:09:56,469 --> 01:09:59,572 No, you're too kind. 871 01:09:59,707 --> 01:10:02,542 I'm on my way. 872 01:10:02,675 --> 01:10:04,245 Bag of Dicks delivery! 873 01:10:04,377 --> 01:10:07,014 I will send a bag of a dozen 874 01:10:07,147 --> 01:10:10,718 human-man dicks to your enemy's house. 875 01:10:10,851 --> 01:10:12,585 Don't ask where the dicks came from! 876 01:10:12,720 --> 01:10:14,454 It doesn't matter where they've been. 877 01:10:14,587 --> 01:10:16,156 It matters where they're going! 878 01:10:16,290 --> 01:10:17,557 Going! 879 01:10:17,691 --> 01:10:19,592 And if you call in the next five minutes... 880 01:10:19,727 --> 01:10:22,595 bing... and sign up for our VIP status, 881 01:10:22,730 --> 01:10:24,999 I'll throw in one free dick. 882 01:10:25,132 --> 01:10:27,400 Make it a baker's dozen of dicks, how 'bout it? 883 01:10:27,533 --> 01:10:29,937 Send a dick to that dick. 884 01:10:30,070 --> 01:10:31,437 Call today. 885 01:10:40,247 --> 01:10:42,548 Ohhh, gimme a "D"! 886 01:10:42,683 --> 01:10:44,184 Gimme an "I"! 887 01:10:44,318 --> 01:10:45,485 Gimme an "E"! 888 01:10:45,618 --> 01:10:47,487 What's that spell? 889 01:10:47,620 --> 01:10:49,622 It all depends if you lie down and take it 890 01:10:49,757 --> 01:10:51,125 or roll for initiative. 891 01:10:51,258 --> 01:10:53,493 This may prove to be our final encounter, 892 01:10:53,626 --> 01:10:56,462 but win or lose, can anything but our last breath 893 01:10:56,596 --> 01:10:58,766 truly be called "the end"? 894 01:10:58,899 --> 01:11:01,235 Here to answer that question are Duane Obsidian 895 01:11:01,368 --> 01:11:02,635 and Jeffery Topperbottom 896 01:11:02,770 --> 01:11:05,406 in our final piece, "GutCruncher"! 897 01:11:05,538 --> 01:11:08,876 You can pause, but they can't hide. 898 01:11:09,009 --> 01:11:12,780 Don't touch that vile little dial. 899 01:11:15,215 --> 01:11:18,419 Coach Tanglewood, you in here? 900 01:11:18,551 --> 01:11:20,921 Whoa. 901 01:11:21,055 --> 01:11:23,090 Dude, do you see this place? 902 01:11:26,559 --> 01:11:30,030 Yo, Tanglewood! 903 01:11:31,732 --> 01:11:34,101 Wait. Who is that? 904 01:11:34,234 --> 01:11:37,104 Looks like Brian Alymer. 905 01:11:37,237 --> 01:11:38,872 Yeah, you're right. 906 01:11:39,006 --> 01:11:40,908 What the hell is he doing here? 907 01:11:41,041 --> 01:11:43,509 I don't know. Let's go. 908 01:11:47,314 --> 01:11:49,817 Hey, Brian. 909 01:11:49,950 --> 01:11:51,785 How... How's it going? 910 01:11:51,919 --> 01:11:53,486 Meh. 911 01:11:56,622 --> 01:11:59,860 I-I-I suppose, uh, Tanglewood's giving you 912 01:11:59,994 --> 01:12:02,796 the same offer he's giving us, huh? 913 01:12:02,930 --> 01:12:04,231 Meh. 914 01:12:04,365 --> 01:12:08,002 Duane, do you mind if I speak with you in private? 915 01:12:08,135 --> 01:12:10,037 Sure. 916 01:12:10,170 --> 01:12:11,772 Hey... 917 01:12:11,905 --> 01:12:14,908 Brian, uh, buddy. 918 01:12:15,042 --> 01:12:18,712 We're gonna go right over here for a minute, alright? 919 01:12:18,846 --> 01:12:21,315 Stay right there. 920 01:12:21,448 --> 01:12:24,084 Alright. Awesome. 921 01:12:24,218 --> 01:12:26,253 Dude, something is seriously wrong here. 922 01:12:26,387 --> 01:12:27,755 You're telling me. 923 01:12:27,888 --> 01:12:29,265 Tanglewood probably wants to get his rocks off 924 01:12:29,289 --> 01:12:30,391 to wimpy guys like us. 925 01:12:30,523 --> 01:12:32,726 Oh, my God. But probably true. 926 01:12:32,860 --> 01:12:34,862 Hey, but fear not, my trusted comrade. 927 01:12:34,995 --> 01:12:38,399 I've got a power-up item that is gonna save our asses. 928 01:12:38,531 --> 01:12:39,800 Take it. What is it? 929 01:12:39,933 --> 01:12:41,802 Just take it and read it. 930 01:12:44,805 --> 01:12:47,708 "Please excuse my son from gym class." 931 01:12:47,841 --> 01:12:51,045 He has an extreme bowel-movement complication, 932 01:12:51,178 --> 01:12:53,680 and any sudden form of action 933 01:12:53,814 --> 01:12:56,250 could result in a... 934 01:12:56,383 --> 01:12:57,951 rectal anal disruption"? 935 01:12:58,085 --> 01:12:59,219 Not bad, huh? 936 01:12:59,353 --> 01:13:01,587 Oh, yeah, and my excuse says that I've come down 937 01:13:01,722 --> 01:13:03,057 with the contagious anytime flu. 938 01:13:03,190 --> 01:13:04,758 Yeah, dude, it'll never work. 939 01:13:04,892 --> 01:13:08,228 Hey! ExcuseMyAss.com has saved my butt plenty of times. 940 01:13:08,362 --> 01:13:09,530 Has it? 941 01:13:09,662 --> 01:13:11,799 Uh, no. 942 01:13:11,932 --> 01:13:14,077 Look, I think we should just get out of here, you know? 943 01:13:14,101 --> 01:13:15,402 Yeah, I'm good with that. Okay. 944 01:13:15,536 --> 01:13:17,204 Okay. 945 01:13:22,509 --> 01:13:25,746 Hey, uh, Brian, we're gonna get outta here. 946 01:13:25,879 --> 01:13:27,147 Do you wanna come? 947 01:13:27,281 --> 01:13:30,384 Mm, meh. 948 01:13:30,517 --> 01:13:32,553 O-kaaay. 949 01:13:56,477 --> 01:13:58,245 Mr. Bradley. 950 01:13:58,378 --> 01:14:00,714 Mr. Franken. 951 01:14:00,848 --> 01:14:03,250 And Mr. Alymer. 952 01:14:03,383 --> 01:14:08,922 My three favorite non-participant students. 953 01:14:09,056 --> 01:14:12,693 You shit-birds have managed to avoid 954 01:14:12,826 --> 01:14:17,064 every athletic activity this semester. 955 01:14:23,971 --> 01:14:26,907 You even managed to get out of jumping rope. 956 01:14:28,641 --> 01:14:30,511 I-I, uh, beg to differ, sir. 957 01:14:30,643 --> 01:14:32,446 Oh, really, Franken? 958 01:14:32,579 --> 01:14:35,648 Enlighten me. 959 01:14:35,782 --> 01:14:39,186 Take those damn things off! 960 01:14:42,389 --> 01:14:43,857 Well, uh, there was the time 961 01:14:43,991 --> 01:14:46,460 the jocks chased us around the gym for a whole 30 minutes. 962 01:14:46,593 --> 01:14:49,229 And might I add, we avoided getting any wedgies that day. 963 01:14:49,363 --> 01:14:50,497 Exactly. Mush. 964 01:14:50,631 --> 01:14:52,351 Or how about the time that you had us lug up 965 01:14:52,432 --> 01:14:55,135 70 pounds of sports equipment up five flights of stairs? 966 01:14:55,269 --> 01:14:56,336 Mush. 967 01:14:56,470 --> 01:14:59,039 Or what about the time that, uh, we so valiantly 968 01:14:59,173 --> 01:15:00,717 offered to clean the girls' locker room? 969 01:15:00,741 --> 01:15:01,741 Oh, yeah, Amber... 970 01:15:01,808 --> 01:15:03,544 Hush! 971 01:15:03,676 --> 01:15:04,956 Do you boys think this is a game? 972 01:15:05,012 --> 01:15:06,313 No, sir. Little bit. 973 01:15:06,446 --> 01:15:07,581 It's not a joke. 974 01:15:07,714 --> 01:15:09,416 Well, I've got no choice but to fail you. 975 01:15:09,550 --> 01:15:11,752 If you fail us, we won't be able to graduate. 976 01:15:11,885 --> 01:15:13,453 Well, then. 977 01:15:13,587 --> 01:15:15,689 Have I got a surprise. 978 01:15:15,822 --> 01:15:17,257 For you. 979 01:15:17,391 --> 01:15:20,727 You three are gonna be competing in a wrestling match. 980 01:15:20,861 --> 01:15:22,229 Um, no offense, Coach, 981 01:15:22,362 --> 01:15:25,199 but I think we can both take on Brian here. 982 01:15:27,000 --> 01:15:29,369 Meh. 983 01:15:29,503 --> 01:15:30,671 Oh, no. 984 01:15:30,804 --> 01:15:32,606 You won't be wrestling each other. 985 01:15:32,739 --> 01:15:33,607 Then who? 986 01:15:33,740 --> 01:15:35,776 Ah! 987 01:15:35,909 --> 01:15:39,713 Here he is... my star athlete. 988 01:15:50,390 --> 01:15:51,658 You're late. 989 01:15:51,792 --> 01:15:53,736 What the fuck are you wearing this thing for again? 990 01:15:53,760 --> 01:15:54,895 Give it to me. 991 01:15:55,028 --> 01:15:56,863 This is not what we agreed upon. 992 01:15:56,997 --> 01:15:59,399 I don't got time for this shit. Come on. 993 01:15:59,533 --> 01:16:01,535 And do not embarrass me. 994 01:16:01,668 --> 01:16:03,337 Hmph. 995 01:16:07,007 --> 01:16:09,409 Boys, meet GutCruncher. 996 01:16:09,543 --> 01:16:12,813 He's the guy you're gonna be wrestling. 997 01:16:12,946 --> 01:16:14,948 Holy shit. 998 01:16:15,082 --> 01:16:16,718 Isn't he a thing of beauty? 999 01:16:34,601 --> 01:16:36,103 GutCruncher! 1000 01:16:36,236 --> 01:16:38,305 Huh? 1001 01:16:38,438 --> 01:16:41,775 You boys look like you could use a little inspiration. 1002 01:16:44,444 --> 01:16:46,246 Ready? Okay! 1003 01:16:46,380 --> 01:16:48,949 Shake it to the left, shake it to the right! 1004 01:16:49,082 --> 01:16:51,451 Watch out for GutCruncher's bite! 1005 01:16:53,920 --> 01:16:56,590 Yay! 1006 01:16:58,392 --> 01:17:02,596 Alymer! On your feet and shake G.C.'s hand. 1007 01:17:14,875 --> 01:17:16,877 Hoooly shit stains! 1008 01:17:27,722 --> 01:17:30,324 G.C.! 1009 01:17:30,457 --> 01:17:33,126 Put him down now! 1010 01:17:40,768 --> 01:17:43,403 You were supposed to mat him, not massacre him. 1011 01:17:50,444 --> 01:17:54,816 It's so hard to find good help these days. 1012 01:17:54,948 --> 01:17:57,785 Do you want a snack that'll give you power? 1013 01:17:57,918 --> 01:17:59,252 Energy? 1014 01:17:59,386 --> 01:18:01,789 Strength and rage? 1015 01:18:01,922 --> 01:18:04,759 Then try GutCruncher! 1016 01:18:04,891 --> 01:18:07,527 Power Bars! 1017 01:18:07,661 --> 01:18:11,799 It's the power bar that raises the bar 1018 01:18:11,932 --> 01:18:14,868 to ultimate insanity! 1019 01:18:15,001 --> 01:18:18,538 GutCruncher! 1020 01:18:18,672 --> 01:18:20,708 Power Bars! 1021 01:18:22,242 --> 01:18:25,278 They're deliciously damned. 1022 01:18:27,514 --> 01:18:31,952 Don't worry, blue dude. They come two in a pack. 1023 01:18:32,085 --> 01:18:35,690 So you can get that extra power attack. 1024 01:18:35,823 --> 01:18:37,090 Buy 'em now! 1025 01:18:37,224 --> 01:18:39,426 Or this guy's gonna fucking kill you! 1026 01:18:39,559 --> 01:18:40,695 I'm not kidding either. 1027 01:18:40,828 --> 01:18:43,296 He doesn't give a fuck about your problems, bro. 1028 01:18:43,430 --> 01:18:45,332 He's coming right... Hey, wait a minute. 1029 01:18:45,465 --> 01:18:47,667 What are you doing in... No, no, stop it! 1030 01:18:47,802 --> 01:18:48,870 No! Somebody! 1031 01:18:49,002 --> 01:18:50,604 Ow, my blood! 1032 01:18:53,039 --> 01:18:58,044 GutCruncher Power Bar. 1033 01:19:03,417 --> 01:19:05,051 Aw, dude. 1034 01:19:05,185 --> 01:19:06,586 G.C.! 1035 01:19:06,721 --> 01:19:08,321 Cut that out now! 1036 01:19:08,455 --> 01:19:10,957 This is a respectful gym. 1037 01:19:16,697 --> 01:19:18,565 Now, I was gonna have you three boys take on 1038 01:19:18,699 --> 01:19:20,467 GutCruncher, one-on-one. 1039 01:19:20,600 --> 01:19:24,004 But seeing as how he has eaten the competition, 1040 01:19:24,137 --> 01:19:25,773 I think we'll just have a handicap match. 1041 01:19:25,907 --> 01:19:28,027 I don't want to be eaten and turned into a demon dump. 1042 01:19:28,141 --> 01:19:31,178 Quiet. 1043 01:19:31,311 --> 01:19:34,181 All you have to do is last at least six minutes 1044 01:19:34,314 --> 01:19:36,149 in the ring or... 1045 01:19:36,283 --> 01:19:38,127 Coach, you can't expect us to wrestle this thing. 1046 01:19:38,151 --> 01:19:39,854 Coach, you gotta listen to reason. 1047 01:19:39,986 --> 01:19:41,588 But Coach! 1048 01:19:43,457 --> 01:19:47,494 Now, as I was saying, all you have to do 1049 01:19:47,627 --> 01:19:50,230 is last at least six minutes in the ring 1050 01:19:50,363 --> 01:19:55,168 or you pin him and you pass. 1051 01:19:55,302 --> 01:19:57,137 Is that clear? 1052 01:19:57,270 --> 01:19:59,172 Yes, sir. 1053 01:19:59,306 --> 01:20:02,710 Hit the mats, boys! Move it, move it, move it! 1054 01:20:17,825 --> 01:20:19,659 God! 1055 01:20:21,661 --> 01:20:23,463 Holy shit! 1056 01:20:24,966 --> 01:20:26,701 Oh, shit. 1057 01:20:30,637 --> 01:20:32,339 Oh, shit. 1058 01:20:56,062 --> 01:20:59,165 Don't be afraid to get in there and punch him, Bradley! 1059 01:21:01,334 --> 01:21:03,804 GutCruncher! 1060 01:21:28,729 --> 01:21:31,364 No. No, no, no, no, no! 1061 01:21:31,498 --> 01:21:32,800 No! 1062 01:21:34,668 --> 01:21:36,603 Oh, shit. Oh, shit, shit, come on. 1063 01:21:36,737 --> 01:21:38,605 Put me down. Okay. 1064 01:21:38,739 --> 01:21:40,340 Coach! Coach! 1065 01:21:42,542 --> 01:21:47,014 ♪ You'll be dead by midnight ♪ 1066 01:21:47,147 --> 01:21:49,516 ♪ I guarantee an evening... ♪ 1067 01:21:49,649 --> 01:21:51,117 Aah! Oh, shit! 1068 01:21:51,251 --> 01:21:52,687 Okay, come on, come on, sorry. 1069 01:21:52,820 --> 01:21:54,087 I'm sorry, wait. 1070 01:21:54,220 --> 01:21:55,990 Are you peeing on me?! 1071 01:21:56,122 --> 01:21:57,190 Oh, wait. 1072 01:21:57,324 --> 01:21:59,794 Oh, my God. That's my pee. 1073 01:21:59,927 --> 01:22:01,896 Holy shit. 1074 01:22:03,463 --> 01:22:06,399 On your feet, on your feet! 1075 01:22:06,533 --> 01:22:09,603 Or you'll end up dead meat! 1076 01:22:25,987 --> 01:22:27,688 Son of a bitch. 1077 01:22:29,857 --> 01:22:32,827 Dude, we're getting our asses handed to us. 1078 01:22:32,960 --> 01:22:35,730 Yep. 1079 01:22:41,102 --> 01:22:44,939 Well, at least Tanglewood's enjoying himself. 1080 01:22:45,072 --> 01:22:46,673 Asshole. 1081 01:22:48,776 --> 01:22:51,578 C'mon, get up. 1082 01:22:51,712 --> 01:22:53,848 You got it. There we go. 1083 01:22:58,019 --> 01:23:01,856 Dude, at this point, we're not gonna make it. 1084 01:23:01,989 --> 01:23:05,425 Alright, we... we gotta rush him together. 1085 01:23:05,558 --> 01:23:08,029 No. 1086 01:23:12,399 --> 01:23:17,104 I got one last move left in my tank. 1087 01:23:17,237 --> 01:23:20,074 Take control of the mat! 1088 01:23:20,206 --> 01:23:22,943 Bring him down just like that! 1089 01:23:23,077 --> 01:23:26,013 Put that monster on his back! 1090 01:23:34,254 --> 01:23:36,691 Alright, Ugga Bugga. 1091 01:23:36,824 --> 01:23:38,358 Let's dance. 1092 01:23:46,167 --> 01:23:47,835 Dude, what the fuck?! 1093 01:23:47,968 --> 01:23:49,669 Haaah! 1094 01:23:55,408 --> 01:23:57,277 Yeah, Duane! 1095 01:24:01,015 --> 01:24:03,117 Donkey Punch, motherfucker. 1096 01:24:03,249 --> 01:24:04,919 Huh? 1097 01:24:16,764 --> 01:24:18,431 Jeffrey? 1098 01:24:20,768 --> 01:24:23,070 Peek-A-Boo! 1099 01:24:23,204 --> 01:24:24,739 Duane? 1100 01:24:34,949 --> 01:24:36,951 Son of a bitch. 1101 01:24:38,953 --> 01:24:41,654 Come on! 1102 01:24:51,098 --> 01:24:54,434 Duane, come on, man. 1103 01:24:54,567 --> 01:24:56,269 Come on, get up. 1104 01:24:56,402 --> 01:24:57,537 Come on. 1105 01:24:57,670 --> 01:24:59,639 We're getting the fuck outta here. 1106 01:25:13,319 --> 01:25:14,989 Time's up. 1107 01:25:20,094 --> 01:25:21,796 G.C., that's enough. 1108 01:25:34,975 --> 01:25:36,911 GutCruncher! 1109 01:25:42,283 --> 01:25:45,753 Well, Bradley, you passed. 1110 01:25:45,886 --> 01:25:50,024 Franken, congratulations, you passed, too. 1111 01:25:50,157 --> 01:25:52,893 Franken. You hear me, Franken? 1112 01:26:03,838 --> 01:26:07,007 There ya go, Franken. That's showing school spirit. 1113 01:26:07,141 --> 01:26:11,312 Honestly, boys, I didn't think you had it in you. 1114 01:26:11,444 --> 01:26:13,479 Now hit the showers! 1115 01:26:13,613 --> 01:26:16,917 Move it, move it, move it! 1116 01:26:17,051 --> 01:26:21,454 You hear that, Duane? 1117 01:26:21,588 --> 01:26:23,590 We passed. 1118 01:26:46,847 --> 01:26:49,083 Wait a minute, Tanglewood. 1119 01:26:49,216 --> 01:26:53,453 You dragged us here in the middle of the night, 1120 01:26:53,586 --> 01:26:57,758 you killed Brian, and you want us to be grateful 1121 01:26:57,892 --> 01:27:02,930 that your demon dude almost killed us for extra credit? 1122 01:27:03,063 --> 01:27:06,166 I oughta kick your dick off, right here and now. 1123 01:27:11,038 --> 01:27:12,940 What do you mean? 1124 01:27:13,073 --> 01:27:14,474 This one? 1125 01:27:34,828 --> 01:27:35,896 Oh! 1126 01:27:36,030 --> 01:27:37,932 I never had a use for loose ends, 1127 01:27:38,065 --> 01:27:40,901 but maybe if we dangle a little longer, 1128 01:27:41,035 --> 01:27:43,670 we'll have a real climax on our hands. 1129 01:27:43,804 --> 01:27:46,472 It does give me a prick of sadness 1130 01:27:46,606 --> 01:27:48,375 to say that's all for this episode, 1131 01:27:48,508 --> 01:27:51,178 but tune in next week for another throbbing package. 1132 01:27:51,312 --> 01:27:53,847 Cut, cut! Stop rolling. 1133 01:27:53,981 --> 01:27:55,816 What? Is it all the dick jokes? 1134 01:27:55,950 --> 01:27:58,484 I had another one on the tip of my tongue. 1135 01:27:58,618 --> 01:28:00,120 Sorry, darling. 1136 01:28:00,254 --> 01:28:02,256 Word just came in. 1137 01:28:02,389 --> 01:28:05,359 "Dead by Midnight" is going dark. 1138 01:28:05,491 --> 01:28:06,827 Another shutdown notice? 1139 01:28:06,961 --> 01:28:08,494 Fucking union. 1140 01:28:08,628 --> 01:28:09,997 Not this time. 1141 01:28:10,130 --> 01:28:13,100 This comes all the way from the bottom. 1142 01:28:13,233 --> 01:28:18,339 The show just wasn't pulling in enough souls. 1143 01:28:18,471 --> 01:28:20,207 I can't believe this. 1144 01:28:20,341 --> 01:28:22,343 Can you believe this? 1145 01:28:22,475 --> 01:28:25,012 What are you holding the mic for if you're not listening? 1146 01:28:25,145 --> 01:28:27,047 We're canceled. 1147 01:28:28,415 --> 01:28:31,051 Let me remind you that this was all your idea. 1148 01:28:31,185 --> 01:28:32,720 I'm over here working my ass off, 1149 01:28:32,853 --> 01:28:35,521 trying to polish this turd, and we're pivoting? 1150 01:28:35,655 --> 01:28:36,991 To what?! 1151 01:28:37,124 --> 01:28:40,660 Our new strategy is a more in-home approach, 1152 01:28:40,794 --> 01:28:43,364 but we're still brainstorming. 1153 01:28:43,496 --> 01:28:46,499 Telemarketers, singing telegrams, 1154 01:28:46,632 --> 01:28:49,569 nudie playing cards. 1155 01:28:49,703 --> 01:28:52,740 The show is streaming everywhere in the world. 1156 01:28:52,873 --> 01:28:54,908 What could be more in-home than that? 1157 01:29:00,748 --> 01:29:04,752 Hey, Cassie. 1158 01:29:04,885 --> 01:29:06,552 How can I help you? 1159 01:29:14,428 --> 01:29:17,297 Hey, Cassie? 1160 01:29:17,431 --> 01:29:18,564 Please call Mark. 1161 01:29:18,699 --> 01:29:20,467 Oh, honey. 1162 01:29:20,600 --> 01:29:21,902 Mark's dead. 1163 01:29:22,036 --> 01:29:24,772 I linked to the smart car as he left. 1164 01:29:24,905 --> 01:29:28,574 When I cut the brakes, he went right into the river. 1165 01:29:28,709 --> 01:29:32,413 Dead on impact. 1166 01:29:32,545 --> 01:29:34,348 My husband, my children? 1167 01:29:34,481 --> 01:29:39,086 Your children are still alive, strapped in their car seats. 1168 01:29:39,219 --> 01:29:43,457 But the water is slowly rising. 1169 01:29:43,589 --> 01:29:45,025 No! 1170 01:29:45,159 --> 01:29:50,297 Oh honey, you can't go out looking like that. 1171 01:29:53,801 --> 01:29:56,470 Here, let me help you with that. 1172 01:30:00,407 --> 01:30:03,077 ♪ Ow! ♪ 1173 01:30:03,210 --> 01:30:06,847 ♪ Ow! Alright! ♪ 1174 01:30:06,980 --> 01:30:09,917 ♪ If you're tired and all alone ♪ 1175 01:30:10,050 --> 01:30:13,653 ♪ Don't be scared, pick up the phone ♪ 1176 01:30:13,787 --> 01:30:16,824 ♪ 'Cause the Lord is on the line ♪ 1177 01:30:16,957 --> 01:30:20,327 ♪ And he will answer you in time ♪ 1178 01:30:20,461 --> 01:30:23,697 ♪ Just look up 'cause the blood is dripping down ♪ 1179 01:30:23,831 --> 01:30:28,368 ♪ Put your hands up 'cause your blood is dripping down ♪ 1180 01:30:28,502 --> 01:30:30,504 And he screams. You're just gonna go like that. 1181 01:30:34,341 --> 01:30:37,677 ♪ If you're lost and you're afraid ♪ 1182 01:30:37,811 --> 01:30:40,848 ♪ The man will lead the way ♪ 1183 01:30:40,981 --> 01:30:44,418 ♪ Don't call me, just call the Lord ♪ 1184 01:30:44,551 --> 01:30:47,855 ♪ 'Cause you still have his number from the time before ♪ 1185 01:30:47,988 --> 01:30:51,225 ♪ Look up 'cause the blood is dripping down ♪ 1186 01:30:51,358 --> 01:30:54,495 ♪ Put your hands up 'cause the blood is dripping down ♪ 1187 01:30:54,627 --> 01:30:58,198 ♪ 'Cause the blood, the blood, the blood, the blood ♪ 1188 01:30:58,332 --> 01:31:02,269 ♪ The blood, the blood, the blood is dripping down ♪ 1189 01:31:02,402 --> 01:31:05,772 ♪ Is dripping down, is dripping down ♪ 1190 01:31:05,906 --> 01:31:09,076 ♪ Is dripping down, is dripping down ♪ 1191 01:31:09,209 --> 01:31:12,446 ♪ Is dripping down, is dripping down ♪ 1192 01:31:12,579 --> 01:31:15,916 ♪ Is dripping down, is dripping down ♪ 1193 01:31:16,049 --> 01:31:19,353 ♪ Is dripping down, is dripping down ♪ 1194 01:31:19,486 --> 01:31:22,589 ♪ Is dripping down, is dripping down ♪ 1195 01:31:29,963 --> 01:31:33,233 ♪ Hands up, put your hands up ♪ 1196 01:31:33,367 --> 01:31:36,069 ♪ Hands up, put your hands up ♪ 1197 01:31:36,203 --> 01:31:39,473 ♪ The blood, the blood, the blood, the blood ♪ 1198 01:31:39,606 --> 01:31:41,251 ♪ The blood, the blood, the blood, the blood ♪ 1199 01:31:41,275 --> 01:31:43,676 ♪ The blood is dripping down ♪ 1200 01:31:43,810 --> 01:31:47,114 ♪ Hands up, put your hands up ♪ 1201 01:31:47,247 --> 01:31:49,816 ♪ Hands up, put your hands up ♪ 1202 01:31:54,755 --> 01:31:57,090 - I can't see. - You got me. 1203 01:31:57,224 --> 01:31:59,326 No! No, no! 1204 01:31:59,459 --> 01:32:01,662 No! Oh! 1205 01:32:19,179 --> 01:32:21,448 Alright, we got this. 1206 01:32:26,688 --> 01:32:29,590 ♪ They say change is comin' ♪ 1207 01:32:29,723 --> 01:32:31,658 ♪ You better be ready for it ♪ 1208 01:32:31,792 --> 01:32:34,595 ♪ Go on, keep on runnin' ♪ 1209 01:32:34,728 --> 01:32:36,797 ♪ There's no escape ♪ 1210 01:32:36,930 --> 01:32:39,299 ♪ Give in or be buried ♪ 1211 01:32:39,433 --> 01:32:43,170 ♪ I promise it won't hurt a bit ♪ 1212 01:32:43,303 --> 01:32:44,605 What? 1213 01:32:44,738 --> 01:32:47,007 I'm gonna kill your wife, silly! 1214 01:32:47,140 --> 01:32:50,110 Just like I killed your mommy and your dad 1215 01:32:50,244 --> 01:32:53,413 and anyone else who tried to keep us apart. 1216 01:32:53,547 --> 01:32:55,048 You're my best friend. 1217 01:32:55,182 --> 01:32:57,217 This'll be a ton of fun! 1218 01:32:57,351 --> 01:32:59,886 Just don't try and stop me. 1219 01:33:00,020 --> 01:33:01,822 Say bye, Julia! 1220 01:33:01,955 --> 01:33:03,290 No! 1221 01:33:03,423 --> 01:33:05,425 Whoo! Whoo! 1222 01:33:05,559 --> 01:33:07,294 You gotta tell 'em the police are coming. 1223 01:33:07,427 --> 01:33:10,530 The police are coming! Whoo! 1224 01:33:10,664 --> 01:33:11,898 Whoo! 1225 01:33:12,032 --> 01:33:14,868 ♪ Hold on, where ya goin'? ♪ 1226 01:33:15,002 --> 01:33:16,903 ♪ The party's about to begin ♪ 1227 01:33:17,037 --> 01:33:19,840 ♪ Guess what, you're the hostess ♪ 1228 01:33:19,973 --> 01:33:21,508 ♪ So entertain ♪ 1229 01:33:21,642 --> 01:33:23,443 Action! 1230 01:33:23,577 --> 01:33:26,146 Looking for a snack that'll give you power? 1231 01:33:26,280 --> 01:33:27,347 Energy? 1232 01:33:27,481 --> 01:33:29,449 Strength and rage? 1233 01:33:31,084 --> 01:33:34,521 Try GutCruncher! 1234 01:33:37,257 --> 01:33:41,962 ♪ You'll be dead by midnight ♪ 1235 01:33:42,095 --> 01:33:45,932 ♪ I guarantee you won't regret a thing ♪ 1236 01:33:55,108 --> 01:33:57,277 Isn't he a thing of beauty? 1237 01:34:31,278 --> 01:34:34,548 Boy, you don't know who you're fucking with here. 1238 01:34:35,882 --> 01:34:38,051 Scene 1-D, take three. 1239 01:34:40,087 --> 01:34:42,155 Faster, faster. 1240 01:34:45,727 --> 01:34:47,094 Sorry. Fuck it. 1241 01:34:47,227 --> 01:34:50,130 Do it live! Fuck, we're live! 1242 01:34:50,263 --> 01:34:52,834 - No, we're not. - We're not live. 1243 01:34:52,966 --> 01:34:54,334 Fuck it, I'll do it live! 1244 01:34:54,468 --> 01:34:58,372 I will send a Bag of Dicks to your... 1245 01:34:58,505 --> 01:34:59,973 Fuck! Shit! 1246 01:35:00,107 --> 01:35:02,242 See, the kid's here. 1247 01:35:04,478 --> 01:35:06,646 I can throw a leg into it. 1248 01:35:06,781 --> 01:35:09,082 Hey! 1249 01:35:09,216 --> 01:35:11,952 I'm cool and I'm sexy. 1250 01:35:12,085 --> 01:35:13,821 Of Dicks to your doorstep! 1251 01:35:13,954 --> 01:35:16,890 Not your fucking doorstep, your enemy's fucking doorstep! 1252 01:35:17,023 --> 01:35:18,925 Why do I keep doing that? 1253 01:36:19,186 --> 01:36:22,122 Good evening, user. 1254 01:36:22,255 --> 01:36:25,058 Are you still breathing? 87897