All language subtitles for frejusa

"LAST MAN STANDING" IS RECORDED

IN FRONT
OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.

HI, GUYS.

HEY.
HI, HONEY.

WHERE DO WE WANT
RYAN'S DAD TO SIT?

AS FAR AWAY FROM ME
AS POSSIBLE.

OHH. HI.

LISTEN,
TRY TO KEEP AN OPEN MIND.

RYAN'S DAD,
CANADIAN COLLEGE PROFESSOR?

THE JAWS OF LIFE
COULDN'T PRY THIS NUGGET OPEN.

WHERE'S RYAN'S MOM
GONNA SIT?

IN WINNIPEG.
THEY'RE DIVORCED.

OKEYDOKE. GOT A COUPLE MORE
RSVPs FOR KRISTIN'S WEDDING.

WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME.
WE NEED TO GET A HEAD COUNT.

YEAH, WELL, SO FAR,

ALL 45 OF RYAN'S SIDE
HAVE RESPONDED "YES."

OUR SIDE...ONLY HAS 16,

SO YOU DO THE MATH.

SERIOUSLY,
PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME DO MATH.

THIS IS TERRIBLE.

WE'RE GETTING BEATEN
BY THE CANADIANS.

THERE'S SOMETHING YOU NEVER HEAR
OUTSIDE OF HOCKEY.

OH, AND HERE ARE TWO MORE
FROM OUR SIDE.

YES!
YES, YES, YES, YES, YES.

AND THEY BOTH SAY "NO."

[ GROANS ]

ALTHOUGH ONE OF THEM
WOULD STILL LIKE THE CHICKEN,

IF THAT'S POSSIBLE.

I DON'T BELIEVE
OUR FRIENDS AND RELATIVES.

WE CAN'T GET THESE LOSERS
TO DRIVE 30 MILES,

BUT THE VOGELSONS,

THEY'RE COMING
FROM EVERY PART OF CANADA --

EVEN THE PARTS
WHERE THEY TRAVEL BY DOG.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD
SAVE SOME OF THIS

FOR YOUR WEDDING TOAST.

[ DOORBELL RINGS ]

UGH. I'LL GET IT.

HONEY?

THIS IS RYAN'S DAD, SO BE NICE
AND TREAT HIM LIKE FAMILY.

I CAN'T DO BOTH OF THOSE.

ARE YOU SURE THEY DON'T NEED YOU
AT THE STORE TONIGHT?

HELLO, BAXTERS!
AAH!

WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING?

I LIKE
TO PHOTOGRAPH PEOPLE

WHEN THEY FIRST MEET
VICTOR VOGELSON.

SOMETIMES,
I WISH I WEREN'T ME

SO I COULD HAVE
THE PLEASURE OF MEETING ME.

WELL, WELL, WELL.

I THINK MAYBE THEY DO NEED ME
AT WORK. I'M SORRY.

NO, NO, NO. UH, HE'S KIDDING,
HE'S KIDDING.

UM, SO, UH, IT'S NICE
TO FINALLY MEET YOU, VICTOR.

OH, IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU,
AS WELL.
YEAH.

MIKE, WHY DO YOU WANT
TO BE THE OUTDOOR MAN?

IF VANESSA WERE MY WIFE,

I'D WANT TO BE THE INDOOR MAN,
DOING INDOOR THINGS.

[ LAUGHS ]

OKAY, OKAY.

THOSE ARE -- THOSE ARE
SOME FUN WORDS TO SAY.

UM...

WELCOME TO,
UH, TO DENVER.

THANK YOU.
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL CITY.

MOUNTAINS,
CLEAN, FRESH AIR.

IT'S LIKE DENVER'S TRYING
REALLY HARD TO BE CANADA.

"TRYING HARD"
AND "CANADA" --

TWO THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR
IN THE SAME SENTENCE.

FOR YOU --
WINNIPEG'S FINEST.

LOOK AT THAT --
A SIX-PACK WITH THREE IN IT.

MUST BE METRIC.

ACTUALLY, I HAD TIME TO KILL
ON MY LAYOVER.

YOU HAD
A DIRECT FLIGHT.

I KNOW, BUT "ON MY LAYOVER"
SOUNDS BETTER

THAN "IN THE MEN'S ROOM."

SPEAKING OF WHICH,
WHERE'S YOURS?

I HAVE SOMETHING ELSE
I BROUGHT FROM CANADA.

UH, IT'S JUST --
IT'S RIGHT, UH...

SO,
THAT'S MY DAD.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I THINK HE'S FUN.

I THINK WE BUILT THE WALL
ON THE WRONG BORDER.

I AM REALLY GLAD
THAT YOU'RE DOING THIS, RYAN.

IT'S GOOD THAT YOU GUYS
SPEND SOME TIME TOGETHER.

YEAH, WELL, HE NEVER HAD TIME
FOR ME MY WHOLE LIFE,

SO I GAVE UP ON HIM.

BUT YOU SAID YOU WANTED
TO PUT THAT ALL BEHIND YOU.

I DO. I WANT TO MAKE PEACE WITH
MY DAD BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.

[ Chuckling ] MAKE IT SOUND LIKE
THE GUY'S DYING.

UH, ACTUALLY, HE IS.

WHAT?

HE'S TERMINALLY ILL.

WELL.

KIND OF WISH
I'D GONE TO WORK.

-- Captions by VITAC --

MY BODY'S
RIDDLED WITH DISEASE.

THEY'VE GIVEN ME TWO MONTHS,
BUT I COULD GO AT ANY TIME.

WHICH MEANS YOU'D BETTER HURRY
UP AND PASS THOSE GREEN BEANS.

ACTUALLY, I THOUGHT
I'D GO STRAIGHT FOR THE PIE.

ONE OF THE MANY JOYS OF DYING
IS EATING WHATEVER YOU WANT.

OH, WELL, I HOPE YOU LIKE IT.
IT'S A NEW RECIPE.

ME TOO, 'CAUSE IT COULD BE
THE LAST PIE I EVER HAVE.

GOOD TIME
FOR YOU TO EXPERIMENT.

I REALLY LIKE
YOUR ATTITUDE, MR. V.

I HOPE I'M THIS CHIPPER
WHEN I'M ABOUT TO CROAK.

EVE! COME ON.
WHAT?

ALL OF YOU
CAN TALK ABOUT DEATH,

BUT WHEN THE CUTE,
LITTLE TEENAGER DOES,

SUDDENLY
IT'S INSENSITIVE?

SO, YOU'RE AN ENGLISH PROFESSOR.
THAT'S AMAZING.

YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT'S FUNNY.

I ACTUALLY HAVE
THIS ENGLISH PAPER THAT'S DUE,

AND I WAS
JUST THINKING --

SERIOUSLY. MANDY?

I AM GIVING HIM
A CHANCE

TO MAKE ONE FINAL STATEMENT
IN HIS FIELD.

UM, YOU CAN HALF-ASS IT.
I'M FINE WITH A "C."

THANKS.

DAD, ONE OF THE REASONS WHY
I WANTED YOU TO COME TO DENVER

WAS TO GET A SECOND OPINION
FROM A DOCTOR HERE.

RIGHT, THE MEDICAL SYSTEM HERE
WORKS ON A PROFIT,

SO THE DOCTORS HAVE A REASON
TO KEEP YOU GOING.

OH, THANK YOU,
BUT I-I'VE MADE PEACE

WITH THE DEATH SENTENCE
I'VE BEEN GIVEN.

OHHH!
DO YOU HEAR THIS MAN?

I JUST --
IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.

HE'S COMPLETELY RESIGNED.

HE DIDN'T RESIGN.
GOD FIRED HIM.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

THAT PIE RECIPE SAID
"SERVE WITH WHIPPED CREAM,"

AND, DAMN IT,
I AM WHIPPING YOU SOME CREAM.

LISTEN, VICTOR,

ONE OF MY GOOD FRIENDS
IS AN ONCOLOGIST.

I CAN GET YOU IN
TO SEE HIM.

YEAH, GET A THOROUGH CHECKUP.
WHAT COULD IT HURT?

WELL, YOU'VE OBVIOUSLY
NEVER HAD A PROSTATE EXAM.

DR. CHEGLEY --
HE'S GREAT.

HIS FINGERS
ARE SLENDER AS PENCILS.

I THINK I'D RATHER
SPEND THE TIME I HAVE LEFT

GETTING TO KNOW MY SON BETTER,
NOT HANGING OUT WITH DOCTORS.

I'M SURE YOU GET THAT,
MIKE, RIGHT?

HOW WOULD YOU WANT
TO SPEND YOUR FINAL DAYS?

UH, W--
YOU KNOW, CERTAINLY...

WITH MY CLOSEST BUDDIES,
HUNTIN'.

WELL, THAT'S, UH,
FINE WITH ME.

I MEAN, LET THEM BURY YOU.
I'LL BE IN PARIS.

HUNTING --
THAT'S PERFECT.

IT'S SO PRIMITIVE
AND PRIMAL.

RECONNECTING WITH MOTHER EARTH
BEFORE BEING LOWERED INTO HER.

WELL, MY BUSINESS PARTNER
AND I

ARE GOING UP TO HIS CABIN
TO HUNT THIS WEEKEND.

WHY DON'T YOU JOIN?

FANTASTIC.

SURROUNDED
BY THE GLORY OF NATURE,

WE'LL HUNT AND BOND.

SON, WHAT DO YOU SAY?
COME WITH US.

NO -- HIM?
ME?

[ SCOFFS ]
NO, I DON'T HUNT.

WOW. YOU DON'T KNOW ME
AT ALL.

THAT'S KIND OF THE POINT.
THAT'S WHY I'M HERE.

REMEMBER, I AM DYING.

BOY, YOU REALLY PLAY
THAT DEATH CARD, DON'T YOU?

WORKS GREAT IN THE CLUBS.

I HAVEN'T GONE HOME ALONE
IN WEEKS.

THAT'S A REALLY GOOD
PICKUP LINE --

"HONEY,
YOU WANT TO BE MY LAST?"

THAT WORKS.

I MEAN, I DON'T WANT TO
GO INTO DETAILS, BUT THAT WORKS.

MIKE DOESN'T WANT ME
COMING ALONG.

TRUST ME, I'M A BIG BUMMER
ON A HUNTING TRIP.

YOU'RE A BIG BUMMER
ON A LOT OF THINGS.

IF YOU'LL GO TO SEE
MY ONCOLOGIST,

RYAN CAN COME ALONG
WITH US.

WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?

ALL RIGHT.

BUT I AM NOT GONNA SHOOT
ANYTHING.

EXCEPT FOR
MAYBE A FEW PICTURES,

'CAUSE THIS TIME OF YEAR,
THE WILDFLOWERS ARE SPECTACULAR.

SURE YOU WANT
TO GET TO KNOW HIM, HUH?

IT WAS SURPRISINGLY GRACIOUS
OF YOU

TO INVITE VICTOR AND RYAN
ON YOUR HUNTING TRIP.

I BLAME IT
ON STRONG CANADIAN BEER.

OH, ADMIT IT --
YOU HAVE A SOFT SPOT FOR RYAN.

YOU WANT TO HELP THOSE TWO
TRY TO PATCH THINGS UP.

I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT ALL
THE TIME I SPENT WITH MY DAD,

AND I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, "WHY
SHOULD RYAN GET OFF SO EASY?"

[ LAUGHS ]

WE'RE HERE.

HEY.
HEY.

HOW'D IT GO
WITH DR. CHEGLEY?

OH, HE'S GONNA CALL
WITH THE TEST RESULTS.

GOOD. OKAY.
YEAH, AND YOU WERE RIGHT
ABOUT HIS HANDS.

FOR ALL I KNOW,
HE MIGHT STILL BE BACK THERE.

MORE -- MORE FUN WORDS.
[ CHUCKLES ]

OH. I LEFT SOME HOMEMADE SNACKS
IN THE CAR.

I MADE MY SPECIAL GRANOLA.

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS

WHEN YOU DON'T TEACH YOUR KID
ABOUT SPORTS.

THANKS AGAIN FOR INTRODUCING ME
TO YOUR DOCTOR FRIEND, MIKE.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

I'M AFRAID
THERE'S REALLY NO POINT.

OH, THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE.

OH, THERE'S A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT
OF HOPE.

I'M NOT ACTUALLY SICK.

YOU'LL FIND OUT
WHEN CHEGLEY'S TESTS COME BACK,

SO I MAY AS WELL
TELL YOU NOW.

UM...THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH ME.

YOU TOLD YOUR KID
THAT YOU WERE DYING,

YOU TOLD MY WHOLE FAMILY
YOU'RE DYING,

SO THERE'S DEFINITELY
SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU.

I WAS SICK,

AND I CALLED RYAN
WHEN I FIRST GOT THE DIAGNOSIS,

AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS,
HE CALLED ME BACK.

HE EVEN INVITED ME DOWN HERE
TO SPEND TIME WITH HIM.

YOU GOT TO TELL THE KID
THE TRUTH.

YOU KNOW, HE'S GONNA NOTICE
IN A YEAR THAT YOU'RE NOT DEAD.

PLEASE DON'T RUIN THIS.
RYAN IS FINALLY TALKING TO ME.

I PROMISE I'LL TELL HIM
WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT.

WELL,
THE TIME WAS RIGHT

BEFORE I ASKED YOU TWO FOOLS
TO GO HUNTING WITH ME.

ALL SET.

YOU KNOW, I'M REALLY GLAD
WE'RE DOING THIS, DAD.

Victor: ME TOO.

AND THANKS
FOR MAKING IT HAPPEN, MIKE.

YEAH, YOU'RE WELCOME.

LET'S GO
KILL SOME STUFF.

PLEASE TELL ME YOU'VE GOT
A SMALL GUN IN THERE.

OH, NO.
IT'S MY MANDOLIN.

I MEMORIZED
EVERY VERSE OF "AMERICAN PIE."

WELL, YOU PLAY THAT,

THIS WILL BE
THE DAY THAT YOU DIE.

OH, MAN.

IT'S GREAT
TO BE BACK.

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME
SINCE THAT CRAZY WEEKEND

WENDI AND I CLEANED OUT
THE ADULT PLEASURE STORE.

JUST...GIVE ME A MINUTE.

JUST CLEAN UP.
DON'T PLAY WITH ANYTHING.

THIS IS BREATHTAKING!

OH. HEY, DAD.
LET ME GRAB THAT FOR YOU.

OH!
SAVE YOUR STRENGTH.

YEAH. RIGHT.
I'M DYING.

OH, BUT I DON'T WANT
TO BE A BURDEN HERE.
I'LL MAKE MY OWN DRINKS.

SOMEBODY BROUGHT SOUR MIX,
RIGHT?

YOU'RE NOT GONNA HAVE
ANY DRINKS.

YOU'RE GONNA TAKE YOUR SON FOR
A WALK AND TELL HIM THE TRUTH.

MIKE, A DRINK
WOULD REALLY HELP ME.

A SHRINK WOULD REALLY HELP YOU,
BUT WE DIDN'T PACK ONE OF THOSE.

ALL RIGHT.
WELCOME, CAMPERS.

UH, TWO HOUSE RULES --

ONE, THE BIG COFFEE MUG
IS MINE,

AND NOBODY DIES HERE,
ALL RIGHT?

I WANT TO BE ABLE
TO SELL THIS PLACE TO ASIANS.

YOU KNOW,
HE'S NOT KIDDING ABOUT THAT.

THEY PAY CASH, BUT THEY'RE
SQUIRRELLY ABOUT DEATH.

OKAY, LET'S STAY POSITIVE.
NOBODY'S GOING TO DIE HERE.

I KNOW THAT MESSAGE
IS MEANT THAT FOR YOUR DAD,

BUT IT'S HELPFUL
FOR ED, TOO.

UH, DAD.
YEAH?

I-I WAS GONNA WAIT
TILL TONIGHT,

BUT, UH, I WANT
TO READ YOU SOMETHING.

IT'S A POEM
THAT I WROTE.

WHAT'S THE FASTEST-ACTING BOOZE
YOU GOT?

SOME OF THIS
WILL BE HARD TO HEAR.

HE'S NOT KIDDING.

HE'S GOT FOUR STANZAS

ABOUT TRYING TO PLAY CATCH
WITH A TOMBSTONE.

I'LL JUST DRINK IT
OUT OF THE BOTTLE.

YEAH.

UM, IT GETS A LITTLE DARK,
BUT IT ENDS IN A GOOD PLACE,

JUST LIKE
I HOPE YOU AND I WILL.

I CALL IT "POPPA."

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
THIS HAS GOT TO STOP.

WE'RE ON THE VERGE
OF A BREAKTHROUGH.

YOU'RE ON THE VERGE
OF A SEVERE BEATING.

YOU WANT TO KNOW
THE BAD NEWS?

YOUR DAD'S NOT SICK.

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH HIM.

WHAT?

HE'S NOT DYING?

WHY DID HE
GET TO RIDE SHOTGUN?

IT'S TRUE.

I LET YOU BELIEVE
THAT I WAS STILL SICK

BECAUSE I THOUGHT
IT WAS THE ONLY WAY

TO GET YOU
TO SEE ME AGAIN.

NOW,
HOW ABOUT THAT POEM?

UNBELIEVABLE.

YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN
A SELF-CENTERED LIAR,

BUT THIS TIME,
YOU'VE REALLY OUTDONE YOURSELF.

I KNOW YOU DIDN'T MEAN THAT
AS A COMPLIMENT,

BUT I'M GONNA TAKE IT
AS ONE,

JUST TO KEEP THINGS LOVING
BETWEEN US.

AND YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE.

ALL RIGHT,
THAT'S YOUR FAULT.

THERE'S A VACUUM CLEANER
IN THE CLOSET, ALL RIGHT?

WAIT. JUST...LET ME QUICKLY
CHECK THE ATTACHMENTS FIRST.

DON'T TRY TO GET ME TO GO BACK
IN THERE AND TALK TO HIM.

NO, I JUST CAME OUT TO THANK YOU
FOR RIPPING UP THAT POETRY.

LISTEN, THERE'S
A LITTLE MOTEL IN TOWN.

I COULD TAKE YOU
DOWN THERE.

NO REASON TO SPEND
ANY MORE TIME WITH YOUR DAD.

OF COURSE
YOU WOULD DO THAT FOR ME.

YOU'VE BEEN MORE A FATHER
THAN HE'S EVER BEEN.

YOU KNOW, THAT'S SAD, ACTUALLY,
SINCE ALL I DO IS PICK ON YOU.

GRAB YOUR STUFF.

AM I REALLY SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE
THAT HE LIED TO ME ABOUT DYING

SO HE COULD
GET CLOSER TO ME?

HE SAYS IT WORKS FOR HIM
IN BARS.

WHEN I THOUGHT I WAS LOSING HIM,
I WAS SO SAD,

AND NOW I HAVE HIM BACK,
AND I'M JUST...MAD.

REALLY CAN'T STOP THE POETRY,
CAN YOU?

SEE, HE NEVER WORKED THIS HARD
TO SPEND TIME WITH ME BEFORE.

WELL, I...GUESS
THAT COUNTS FOR SOMETHING?

I JUST WISH HE WAS DIFFERENT,
YOU KNOW?

WE CAN'T PICK OUR FATHERS,
YOU KNOW.

LORD KNOWS I'VE TRIED.

I USED TO SEND HEARTFELT LETTERS
TO MICKEY MANTLE.

NOTHING.

ALL RIGHT,
WHAT DO I DO?

DO I GO BACK IN THERE
AND GIVE HIM ANOTHER SHOT?

IT'S YOUR CALL, RYAN.

ALL RIGHT.

HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU WROTE
LETTERS TO MICKEY MANTLE?

FROM ABOUT 10 TILL 31.

SO, YOU NEVER EVEN SENT
YOUR RSVP?

DID YOU NOTICE
THE RETURN ENVELOPE

WITH THE STAMP
ALREADY ON IT?

YOU USED IT
TO PAY YOUR CABLE BILL?

W-- WHY -- WHY WOULD YOU
EVEN ADMIT THAT TO ME?

OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
NO. N--

E-ENJOY YOUR 500 CHANNELS,
DORIS.

THAT WAS
YOUR GREAT-AUNT DORIS.

SHE SAYS HI.

WHO NEEDS HER? THERE'S
BOUND TO BE SOMEONE ELSE
THERE WHO SMELLS BAD.

[ CHUCKLES ]

YOU KNOW, MOM,
IF YOU WANT TO WIN

THIS POPULARITY CONTEST
WITH RYAN --

MANDY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
NO, THAT IS NOT WHAT THIS IS.

BUT GO ON.

I HAVE OVER 2,000
INSTAGRAM FOLLOWERS.

I COULD FILL
THAT CHURCH.

'COURSE, THEY WOULD
ALL BE THERE IRONICALLY.

[ DOORBELL RINGS ]

I'LL GET IT.

HMM.

YOUR HIPSTER FRIENDS
OR CANADIANS --

I WONDER WHO'D HAVE
MORE BEARDS AND SCARVES.

HEY. HI, CHUCK.
HEY.

COME ON IN. HEY.
[ CHUCKLES ] OKAY.

WHAT'S GOING ON, VANESSA?
IT SOUNDED IMPORTANT.

OH, IT'S VERY, VERY
IMPORTANT.

UH, LISTEN, CHUCK.

I, UH, I WANTED TO HAND-DELIVER
THIS WEDDING INVITATION.

I DON'T KNOW
IF IT COUNTS AS DELIVERING

SINCE YOU MADE ME
WALK OVER HERE.

SO, I CAN COUNT ON YOU
AND CAROL AND BRANDON?

A-AND, OH,
YOU EACH GET A PLUS-ONE.

SOUNDS
KIND OF LAST-MINUTE.

ISN'T KRISTIN'S WEDDING
LIKE A WEEK FROM NOW?

NO, IT'S --
IT'S EIGHT OR NINE DAYS. IT'S...

UH-HUH.

SOUNDS LIKE
WE'RE ON THE B-LIST.

HM.
HEY, HEY.

I-I-IF YOU DO THIS
FOR ME,

THEN YOU DON'T HAVE TO RETURN
MIKE'S DRILL.

CAROL AND I
WERE SAVING THE DATE,

BUT THE INVITATION
NEVER CAME,

SO WE GOT TICKETS
TO THE DENVER SYMPHONY.

I'LL BUY THE TICKETS
OFF YOU.

I DON'T KNOW.
THE SYMPHONY'S DOING "BOLERO."

CAROL AND I ENJOY IT.
IT'S VERY SENSUOUS.

I'LL GET THE BAND
TO PLAY IT.

DEAL.

BUT, UH...
HAVE THEM PLAY IT EARLY.

WE MAY WANT TO TAKE OFF.

THE WORST DAY HUNTING
EVER!

YEAH.

WE SEE ONE TURKEY,
AND THIS GUY'S PHONE GOES OFF.

AND IN ANSWER
TO YOUR RINGTONE --

NO, I DO NOT THINK
YOU'RE SEXY.

THANKS. THANKS.

I WANT TO THANK YOU,
MIKE,

FOR USHERING RYAN AND ME INTO
A NEW RELATIONSHIP OF HONESTY.

I'D SAY IT'S MY PLEASURE,

BUT YOU JUST DID
A BIG SPEECH ON HONESTY.

AND I WANT
TO KEEP IT GOING.

RYAN...

I WASN'T AT THE HOSPITAL
THE DAY YOU WERE BORN.

I WAS IN BED
WITH YOUR AUNT MARIE.

I CAN GET THAT.
HOSPITALS AREN'T FOR EVERYBODY.

DEAR GOD.

WHY ARE YOU
TELLING ME THIS?

DON'T YOU GET IT?
HE'S NUTS!

I WANT TO GET IT ALL OUT

SO THERE ARE NO MORE SECRETS
BETWEEN US.

DO YOU REMEMBER
WHEN YOU WERE 10

AND I TOLD YOU
I BROUGHT YOUR PUPPY TO A FARM?

YEAH, I FIGURED THAT ONE OUT,
ALL RIGHT?

BUSTER DIED. IT'S FINE.

NO. I GAVE HIM
TO YOUR HALF-SISTER.

OH, THAT'S ANOTHER THING --
YOU HAVE A HALF-SISTER.

AUNT MARIE'S DAUGHTER.

TAMMY, MY COUSIN?

NOT ANYMORE.

ALTHOUGH SHE CONTINUES TO BE
A WONDERFUL MOTHER TO BUSTER.

YOU HEAR THAT?
YOUR PUPPY'S ALIVE!

YOU KNOW, THAT'S IT.
I'M HIKING DOWN TO TOWN.

I CAN'T DO THIS.
I THOUGHT I COULD. I CAN'T.

WAIT. RYAN, WAIT!
DON'T GO.

THERE'S SOMETHING
I HAVE TO TELL YOU.

I'M DYING.

I NEVER
WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

OR AUNT MARIE.

YOU'RE DYING? REALLY?

YOU REALIZE
WE'VE HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE?

EXCEPT THIS TIME...

IT REALLY IS TRUE.

WHEN THE PHONE RANG
AND SCARED OFF THAT TURKEY,

IT WAS DR. CHEGLEY CALLING
WITH MY TEST RESULTS.

THEY DON'T GIVE THAT INFORMATION
OVER THE PHONE.

THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO.

HE ASKED IF HE COULD SEE ME
IN HIS OFFICE ON MONDAY.

WHAT TIME?
FIRST THING.

MY CONDOLENCES.

THAT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN
AN EASY CALL TO GET.

YEAH, BUT I'M SAYING,
WE'RE HUNTING.

HE COULD'VE
PUT THE PHONE ON "VIBRATE."

ALL RIGHT,
I THINK YOU KNOW BY NOW

THAT RYAN IS NOT COMING BACK,
ALL RIGHT?

THANKS.
ALL RIGHT.

NOW, I DON'T MEAN
TO BE RUDE, BUT...

WHY THE HELL
ARE YOU STILL HERE?

THIS DAY HAS NOT GONE
AS I'D HOPED.

YEAH.

THE ONLY ONES HAPPY
ABOUT THIS HUNTING TRIP

ARE THE TURKEYS.

I HAVE AN INCURABLE DISEASE.
MY SON HATES ME.

DON'T LEAVE US OUT.

THERE'S ONLY ONE THING LEFT
TO DO THAT MAKES ANY SENSE.

I WANT ONE OF YOU
TO SHOOT ME.

FINALLY --
A PLAN I CAN GET BEHIND.

ALL RIGHT.
LET'S DO ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS.

I GOT ROCK AND PAPER
RIGHT HERE.

I'M SERIOUS!

YOUR SON'S GETTING MARRIED
IN A WEEK.

WHICH IS WHY IT'S BEST
THAT YOU SHOOT ME NOW.

I DON'T WANT
TO RUIN THE WEDDING.

IS THIS YOUR WAY

OF GETTING OUT OF PAYING
FOR THE REHEARSAL DINNER?

I WANT RYAN TO GET THE MONEY
FROM MY LIFE INSURANCE.

THE POLICY EXPIRES
IN A MONTH.

I DON'T WANT TO RISK
NOT BEING DEAD BY THEN.

THE MAN IS SICK.

WHY NOT LET HIM GO OUT
THE WAY HE WANTS?

NOBODY'S SHOOTING ANYBODY.

WELL, IN THAT CASE,
I'M GOING TO BED.

GOOD NIGHT.

AND IF MIKE CHANGES HIS MIND,
GOODBYE.

HE'S GONE. NOW'S YOUR CHANCE.
NO WITNESSES.

YOU KNOW,
I HATE GUYS LIKE YOU.

YOU TAKE YOUR SON
FOR GRANTED.

YOU KNOW, A LOT OF US
DON'T HAVE SONS.

I'D LIKE TO HAVE A SON.

I LOVE MY DAUGHTERS,
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

WHICH IS NOT THEIR NAMES,
BY THE WAY.

BUT HAVING A SON
IS SPECIAL, YOU KNOW?

AND YOU DON'T EVEN CARE
ABOUT THAT.

AH, I SEE.
YOU'RE GONNA SCOLD ME TO DEATH.

I GET IT, MIKE.

I WASN'T
THE PERFECT FATHER.

YOU'RE NO MICKEY MANTLE.

I WAS NEVER THERE FOR RYAN,
AND NOW I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME.

I THOUGHT
MAYBE THE INSURANCE MONEY

WOULD MAKE UP FOR THAT
IN SOME WAY.

IT WOULD MAKE UP FOR THAT

IF YOU AND RYAN
COULD GET TO A GOOD PLACE.

I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO DO THAT.

STOP BEING SUCH A JACKASS
AND BE A FATHER.

[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]

[ SIGHS ]

YEAH?

HEY, RYAN.

WHAT? SLOW DOWN.

YEAH.

ALL RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT.
I-I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE THAT IS.

I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
JUST CALM DOWN.

YOUR KID SLIPPED,
AND HE FELL.

IS HE OKAY?

HE HURT HIS FOOT.

I HOPE IT'S NOT THE ONE
HE USUALLY PUTS IN HIS MOUTH.

WAIT.
I'M GOING WITH YOU.

I THOUGHT
YOU WANTED TO DIE.

AND IF YOU DO,
YOU WALK THAT WAY ABOUT 50 FEET.

THERE'S A CLIFF.
YOU'LL D--

DID I SAY "50"? 100.

I-I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT
ANYMORE.

I JUST WANT TO SEE
WITH MY OWN TWO EYES
IF MY SON IS OKAY.

YOU KNOW
WHAT THAT SOUNDS LIKE?

THAT SOUNDS LIKE
BEING A FATHER.

LEAD THE WAY.

OKAY,
THAT WAS YOUR FATHER.

HE SAID
THEY SHOULD BE BACK ANY SECOND.

POOR RYAN. SIX HOURS IN THE E.R.
WITH A BROKEN FOOT?

YEAH, SIX HOURS.

I'M SURPRISED YOUR DAD
DIDN'T JUST PUT HIM DOWN.

AT LEAST NOW WE WON'T HAVE TO DO
THAT CHOREOGRAPHED WEDDING DANCE

THAT HE WANTS
TO PUT ON YouTube.

HONEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

MAYBE WE SHOULD
POSTPONE THE WEDDING --

YOU KNOW,
GIVE RYAN'S FOOT TIME TO HEAL

AND GIVE ME A CHANCE TO REALLY
PACK OUR SIDE OF THE CHURCH.

W-W-- NO. WHAT IF RYAN'S DAD
DIES IN THE MEANTIME?

KRISTIN,
THERE IS NO PERFECT PLAN.

WE ARE NOT POSTPONING
THIS WEDDING, OKAY?

IF WE WAIT ANY LONGER,
I'LL BE THE "SOMETHING OLD."

[ SCOFFS ]

CLEAR THE PATH!
INJURED MAN COMING THROUGH!

OH, HONEY!
LOOK AT YOU!

HE'S FINE.

NOT THIS ONE.
RYAN'S FINE.

WHERE'S YOUR MOM?

IN THE KITCHEN.

HI.
HI.

DON'T WORRY. I'M STILL GONNA BE
READY FOR THAT YouTube DANCE.

OH, DON'T PUSH IT. JUST TAKE
AS LONG AS YOU NEED TO HEAL.

OH, LET'S GET THAT FOOT
ELEVATED.

OKAY.

HERE, I GOT IT.
I GOT IT.
OH. OKAY.

I'M SORRY, BUT YOU HAVE
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

TO TAKE CARE OF HIM.

ACTUALLY, I DO, TOO, BUT FOR ME,
THAT COULD BE THURSDAY.

UH, CAN I GET YOU
ANYTHING?

NOPE. I THINK I GOT
EVERYTHING I NEED RIGHT HERE.

[ SIGHS ]
OH, MAN.

SORRY.
I JUST -- YOU KNOW.

I VISUALIZED EVERY PART
OF THIS MOMENT.

EXCEPT MAYBE
THE BROKEN FOOT.

THAT WAS ME.

[ SIGHS ]
HEY, BABE, I'M STARVING.

OH, I THINK
THERE'S SOME SOUP.

I'LL GET IT.

O FRABJOUS DAY!

CALLOOH, CALLAY!

I'VE GOT MY SON BACK,
AND HE WANTS SOUP!

AND TO THINK I HAD A CLEAR SHOT
AND HIS PERMISSION.

SO, IT LOOKS LIKE
THINGS ARE FINALLY GOOD

BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR DAD.

YEAH, WELL, I HAVE MIKE
TO THANK FOR THAT.

LOOK, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU SAID UP AT THE CABIN,

BUT IT REALLY
MADE A DIFFERENCE.

I SAID WHAT ANY GUY WOULD SAY --
"LOOK, STEP UP AND BE A FATHER,

AND, NO, I WILL NOT
SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE."

WELL, THANKS.

YOU KNOW, I COULD'VE DONE WORSE
THAN TO HAVE A FATHER LIKE YOU.

YEAH, I KNOW.
I MET HIM.