All language subtitles for This.is.Going.to.Hurt.S01E02.WEBRip.x265-ION265_English

Hurry up.

Come on.

Oh, my God, come on!

OK, that's enough.

- Let's open her up again.
- (OTHERS GROAN)

I'm not gonna let you
do that.

And how exactly are you gonna
stop me, Sister?

Swabs go missing all the time.

- We'll find it.
- I'm not telling you

how to do your job, Doctor,
but if we can't find the swab,

- shouldn't you...?
- I'm sorry, I thought you

weren't telling me
how to do my job.

OK, everybody, can you just
check in your shoes

just in case it's fallen
in there?

Um, hi.

How are you doing?

Um, as you've probably
gathered,

we can't find one of the swabs
that we used in the Caesarean,

so we're going to have to
check that it isn't...

...that we haven't left it
sort of inside you.

Sort of inside me?

Sort of totally inside you,
yeah.

- And it wouldn't dissolve?
- It would, yes,

slowly, though,

over the next six or seven
thousand years.

Erm...

Yep. Sorry.

OK, erm, scissors.

(SIGHS)

Blunt forceps.

Look what I found.

You thieving little fucker.

Apologies, Tracy.

And apologies, Dad.

Is everything OK?
What's going on?

Everything's fine, thanks,
random man with a rucksack.

No, I meant with the baby in...
in Five.

I'm the doctor who delivered
him. So is he, erm...?

Is he OK?

No. If you remember,
you misdiagnosed his mother

so he was delivered
about 15 weeks too early.

No, I meant with the, um...

Was the lumbar puncture normal?
Did you repeat the bloods?

You've done your bit, mate.

We're doing ours now.

- (LIFT BELL DINGS)
- You still here?

I was just checking something.

- Yeah.
- We all make mistakes.

Doesn't mean that we're bad
at our jobs.

If we learn from them,
they're what makes us better.

All right, Gandhi,
it was a fucking lost swab.

No, not that! The mistake
you were visiting in there.

Anyway, get out of here.

You should've been home,
what, six hours ago?

Swab-ert De Niro.

What?

Oh. I'd have gone with
Swab-ert Downey Jr.

Yeah, Julian said that one,
so...

- (CLANG)
- (GROANING)

Harry?
What the fuck are you doing?

The door's broken.

Won't open. Keys...

- Key's broken.
- What?

- For God's sake. Come on.
- (GRUNTS)

You've got some, er,
food on your face.

That's probably placenta.

Harry...

Oh... Whoa, you fixed it.

How was work?

Fine, thanks. In. Now. Bed.

Uh... Uh-uh.

That's my wallet.

Harry...

Kiss me.

(MUFFLED) Harry...

OK, OK, OK.

(TOASTER POPS)

Shit, sorry. Did I wake you?

- What are you doing?
- Knitting.

Shall I make you a cocoa
before you head off to bridge?

Harry...

Harry, stop.

You're gonna make me
late for work.

So I am.

Is this shirt OK?

Assuming that's a jumper you
were knitting to wear over it.

I shouldn't be back too late
tonight.

Good. Greg and Emma will be
here at seven,

so make sure you're back
by then.

Having said that, these things
are fluid, aren't they?

You never know when you'll be
called for an emergency.

She's not that bad.

Compared to who, Idi Amin?

You know, it's probably
about time you stop telling him

how much you hate her.

They're getting married.

She's having his baby.

It'll be nice.

I'm doing fajitas.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Doesn't have to be fajitas.

You look like
you haven't slept.

No, I've had to cut sleeping
out.

It's an unnecessary distraction
from these exams.

- When are they?
- A few weeks.

And I have done
a quarter of anatomy,

so that's, what, a leg?

I've not even started on
embryology or biochemistry,

and I'm on call with Adam
in ten minutes.

I don't wanna sound like
your mum...

But I should be married by now?

Look, tell Adam he can do it
on his own for once.

And he's taking all day the way
he's acting at the moment.

He's doing biopsies on every
freckle on a patient's arse

just in case it's some rare
case of Japanese melanocytic.

And, er, just one more night
and I've got a few days off.

Um, I don't know what I'm
gonna do. It'll be nice for AJ

to see her mum for a change.

Tracy!

Come on,
put your GCSE biology down.

- We've got work to do.
- (SIGHS)

Look, why don't you be a brave
boy and go there on your own?

- Excuse me?
- I'm sure Shruti

would like a little bit more
time with her textbooks.

Yeah. And I'd like £85 million
and a ten-inch cock

but, you know,
can't win 'em all.

Come on...Swab Marley.

OK, fine.

Come up to gynae in two hours.

But I'm gonna test you
afterwards and I want you

to know all of Heads,
Shoulders, Knees And Toes.

Verse and chorus.

Look, honestly, I'm sure

- it's nothing.
- She's always

- playing things down.
- You think I'm dying

every time I fart.

Her head could be hanging off
and she'd refuse an aspirin.

Maybe we should listen
to what the doctor thinks.

Can I put a hand on your tummy?

How cold are they?

- A bit.
- That's good.

It means they ain't just been
inside another patient, then.

(LAUGHS)

Means they haven't been
inside a living patient.

Right.

How bad's the pain
on a scale of zero to ten,

where zero is no pain at all

and ten is
sawing your own leg off

while listening
to Michael Bublé?

Let's say...three.

Chopping chillies
and rubbing your eyes.

This is what I mean,
that's clearly an eight.

May I lift your top up?

Oh, fucking Christ.

I'm fine.

Right, I do think there might
be something going on here.

Tell you what it is.
I had a kebab last night.

It literally looked like
Hagrid's cock.

And there's a condition called
ovarian torsion,

where the ovary gets twisted
around on itself.

I want to admit you
to the ward,

get you round to theatre
as soon as we can

- and have a look inside.
- An operation?

Are you serious?
It's nothing.

- I don't think it's nothing.
- Listen to the doctor.

He wouldn't operate
if he wasn't certain.

Are you certain, then?
Like, 100%?

- Well...
- Oh, look, he ain't.

- Come on, let's go.
- Nothing in medicine is 100%,

but if you go home, that would
be against my firm advice,

and you risk making this
a lot worse

and losing an ovary.

Or...worse.

- Ruth.
- If you need an overnight bag,

maybe your friend can pop home
and get some stuff for you?

Oh, not friends.

Enemies?

- Civil partners.
- Oh, um, goodness.

I didn't mean... Sorry.

I presume you don't have
a problem with that?

No. No, no, no.

Maybe don't pick a fight

with the person who's trying
to save your life.

Hmm. So he claims.

Um...

Good. Um, OK, I'll see you
up on the ward.

Let's get her up to gynae.

Oi, this is total bullshit.
He's taking the piss.

Is that a mattress suture,
Mr Lockhart?

- Yes.
- It's very elegant.

My rectum is clean enough
already, thank you, Julian.

Um, Mr Lockhart, there's
a patient on the ward

I think we should
operate on smart-ish,

if you don't mind ticking
the old box.

Let's hear it, then.

I never knew you were
such a good ventriloquist,

- Mr Lockhart.
- Boys.

Um, patient's 26 years old,

I've just admitted her from A&E

with acute abdominal pain
and nausea.

Negative pregnancy test.

She's in significant pain
when I examine her,

all pointing to

- ovarian torsion.
- Ultrasound?

A&E did an ultrasound,
which was normal,

but obviously
that doesn't exclude...

Do you normally operate
on patients with period pains?

It's really not period pains.

Look, we're pleased
you're being cautious.

I'd be cautious too
if I'd nearly killed

one of my patients
at your stage.

We're at the same stage,
Julian.

I'm sorry. Is that a typo
where it says acting registrar?

I think what Julian
is trying to say

in his own special way

is that we leave surgery

- as a last resort.
- Operative risks.

I know what operative risks
are. Can we just CT her?

We could just CT every patient
in the hospital

if you're totally determined
to bankrupt the place.

Common things are common,
Adam.

If you hear hooves
clip-clopping

outside of your bedroom window,
it could be a zebra,

but, realistically,
it's gonna be a horse.

(LOCKHART CHUCKLES)

Home. Now!

- But if it is ovarian torsion?
- Send her home,

there's a good boy.

Oi, Doctor! Don't rush
or anything, fella, I'm fine.

What time you cutting me open,
then?

We've decided in fact to
not operate but to send you...

(GROANS)

...here.

To send you here and see
how you get on overnight.

Luckily, my female
sexual partner

is just fetching some stuff
for me.

I didn't mean to be
insensitive before.

- I'm...gay too, actually.
- Really?

Cos it sounds like you've never
said that before.

Uh, well, I will, erm,
pop back in the morning

and see how you're doing.

Who's up first, then?

Um...

The MOB in bed 17.

MOB?

Miserable Old Bat.

Is that a good one?

You can't just make them up.

Can I see Mrs Winnicka's
bloods?

But they were normal.

Yeah.

Yeah, one sec.

Yeah, she had
a bit of a night of it.

Episode of chest pain.

The SHO did blood and an ECG.

I've had a look

- and they're all normal.
- Why have you done this?

What?

Welded a laptop
to a Zimmer frame.

No, they've replaced
all the ward computers

- with computers on wheels.
- Of course they fucking have.

Turn it on, then.

I'm gonna have to plug it in.

Battery only lasts
about a minute.

(COMPUTER BEEPS)

If this thing was any more
useless, you'd be out of a job.

- Yeah, look there. Normal.
- Hang on.

Yeah. Yeah, it's normal.
OK, let's go and see her.

And bring your new toy.

(SIGHS)

Ohh!

Christ alive.

It can be a lonely place
in hospital

if you've got no friends
or family visiting...

Morning, Mrs Winnicka.

Why you brought me this one?

I prefer Dr Julian.

Lovely and tall.

...or if you're a total bitch.

Well, you're stuck
with me, I'm afraid,

horrible and short.

So, any more of that pain
in the chest since last night?

Why do you care?

Because it reflects very badly
on me if you die.

(SCOFFS)
Nobody cares if I die.

Oh, I dunno.

The lion and the wardrobe
would probably miss you.

Any more of that
pain in the chest, then?

- No, no more of that.
- That's good.

Let's get the cardiology
doctors to review you,

just to be on the safe side.

Shruti,
can you arrange that, please?

Really? But we've had
no positive test results.

I don't think...

I mean, yeah, of course.

That...that's fine. Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

Uh...

How are you doing?

You're a doctor.

Not doing bloody job for you.

Who's this handsome man?

Can we expect a visit?

Hell of a job digging him up.

Oh, God, sorry.

What about the lovely strapping
boys next to him?

If they're dead as well, it'll
be easier if I just join them.

This one - busy with work.

That one -
hasn't thought of excuse yet.

Well, hopefully you'll be
out of here before too long.

It's already too long.

It's so loud in here.

The woman in that bed stinks.

Can't even get a whisky
at night.

I'm sorry.

Very good at being sorry,
aren't you?

OK. Well, uh, it's lovely
talking to you, Mrs W.

We'll see you tomorrow.

You OK?

My SHO's pretty insubordinate,
but other than that...

They're gonna stop accepting
your referrals

if I keep crying wolf
with the unnecessary ones.

Ah, you see,
this is a necessary one,

because I asked for it.

(LID SLAMS)

Hey, do me a favour.

Get me a bottle of whisky.

- For Mrs Winnicka.
- Can she go home today?

Well, not alive.

And that patient
you've admitted from A&E.

How long's she likely
to be here?

We're monitoring her overnight

with a view to operating
in the morning.

And you've discussed this

- with your consultant?
- Obviously,

otherwise she wouldn't be here,
would she?

Hi, Mum. Listen,
can I call you tomorrow?

No, I can't tonight. I'm having
dinner with Greg and Emma.

Yeah, just the three of us.

I know you hoped
I'd marry Helen, Mum,

you've mentioned it
every 40 minutes

for the last five years. Can we
talk about something else?

Not that. Right, look,
I'm going. Bye.

(PAGER BEEPS)

So sorry.

Oh, no, no. This isn't for me.
It's for my boss.

(SIGHS)

No, he's gonna give it
to one of the patients.

(SIGHS)

So that's the antibiotic

to sort the infection that got
everyone so worried before.

And that one is...

No, don't know
what that one is, sorry.

No, that one's the...

Yes, that one's the antibiotic.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

I'm more of a Caesarean section
kind of guy, to be honest.

I really did try my best
for you.

You believe me, right?

Bollocks.

(HORN BLARES)

- (DOG BARKS)
- (DOOR OPENS)

Shit.

Just shush. Come on now.

Shit.

Um...

Fuck!

(HORN CONTINUES BLARING)

- (HORN STOPS)
- Greg!

You coming in, or are you just
practising your beeping?

- Hey.
- Hello, mate.

I'll see you inside.

Just gonna lock up.

I've missed watching you
lock up Betsy.

It's like watching
Tower Bridge open up.

Oh, and he's off. Dr Kay
representing Great Britain.

Oh, the window wedge
came out in one.

Well, he's lost valuable
seconds on the walkaround

but can he make it up
on the inside door knob?

Yeah, well, now it's all to
play for on the window shuffle.

And now Kay has opted for
a right-hand shuffle.

That's beautiful.

How was work?

Same shit, different vagina.

You know, Emma was saying
she hasn't seen you for ages.

Yeah.

It's been lovely.

Behave.

You do know no-one's gonna
steal that, right?

What were you thinking?

How did this patient possibly
warrant a cardiology referral?

I'm really sorry, I didn't mean
to waste your time.

Do you really think
that's good enough?

I've got a ward
full of patients

with actual heart issues,

and her pain was
clearly non-cardiac.

She had a normal ECG
and normal bloods.

My ten-year-old could have
told you that.

I'm so sorry.

What would your registrar say

- if they knew you'd done this?
- Well, actually...

Um...I...
All I can do is apologise.

- What's your name?
- Shruti.

Acharya.

I'll be writing
to your consultant,

Shruti...Acharya.

Oh, I just need a holiday.

I can't remember the last time
we've been in the country

for two months straight,
let alone three.

We all need a hit of sun,
don't we?

Greg wants us to go back
to Barbados,

but I'm worried that's what
everyone does at Christmas.

Oh, God, yeah.
If I have to spend

one more Christmas in Barbados,
I'm just gonna...

Have you guys heard
Adam's degloving story?

- No, I don't think so.
- Oh, you will love it.

Go on.

So, degloving's
when the skin

gets torn from
the underlying structures,

like when a motorcyclist
flies off his bike

and his hand goes...

- Do we have to?
- We certainly do.

So, there's
this 18-year-old guy,

he's out celebrating
his A level results

and he finds himself dancing
on the roof of a bus shelter.

And to get down
to ground level,

he slides down a lamppost,
koala-bear-style.

Unfortunately, he's misjudged
the texture of the lamppost

and he finds himself in A&E

with severe grazing
to both hands...

...and a complete degloving
of his penis.

(OTHERS GASP AND LAUGH)

Ohh!

- God.
- So what did it look like?

It was far and away
the worst penis I've ever seen.

And he's seen a lot of penises.

- Professionally, of course.
- So, what did it look like?

It's like a bit of spaghetti.

Can we stop?

Smeared in tomato sauce.

- We are eating.
- Will it grow back?

- What, like an octopus?
- Gregory...

- Well, maybe.
- Gregory, enough!

EMMA: Please.

So...

...um, how are the renovations
coming on?

Oh, my God,
you know what it's like,

- digging a basement.
- Not really.

I think our landlord
might complain.

And the downstairs neighbours.

Loads of mess, loads of stress,
loads of noise.

If we get let down
by one more marbler,

I think I'm gonna go spare.

(EMMA LAUGHS) Oh...

Oh, I saw your mum
in John Lewis last week.

- Oh, God, I'm sorry.
- It was all right.

I hid behind a mannequin.

I wouldn't recognise your mum

if I bumped into her
in John Lewis.

Yeah, you would. Room gets
about ten degrees colder.

Um...

- Margaritas.
- Yes, please. Thank you.

- Whoopsie! No.
- Oh, go on.

It'll loosen... (TAPS TABLE)
...you up.

Sorry, of course.
More lemonade?

That would be lovely. Yeah,
there's no champagne for me

at the wedding, alas.

Such a shame.

Our little munchkin's
causing us

trouble already.
No champagne for Mummy.

So, how many weeks are you now?

21.

Exciting. Um...

I'm gonna say, what,
halfway there?

(SCOFFS) You do listen.

And is it a boy or a girl?

- Um...
- Yeah.

We chose not to find out.

Yeah. There are just
so few surprises left in life.

Wouldn't it be funny if
Adam ended up delivering you?

Over my dead body!

Statistically, at least half
my patients live, actually.

We're gonna play it safe
and go private.

And is everything going well
so far?

Yep, we had the 22-week scan

- last week. All seemed good.
- We had the 5D scan.

Wow! So when you go private,

they discover
two extra dimensions?

Have a look.

So...?

How does it look to you?

Aw.

Yeah.

She looks perfect.

She?

(EMMA SIGHS)

What the fuck's
gotten into you?

What's that supposed to mean?

You do know
you really upset them?

Oh, yeah.

I feel really terrible for Greg

with his perfect little life.

You're jealous of him?
Is that what this is about?

Adam, he's cosplaying
as a 50-year-old.

Rubbing my face in it
with their big house

and their fancy wedding,
and car that works.

Go get a job in the City, then.

That's not what I mean.

They're just so...

...settled and...

...normal.

If normal's so important
to you,

why have you ruined the first
evening we've had together

in a fortnight?

Haven't normal couples
met each other's parents?

Fine - next time
we're in Transylvania.

Adam...

What's going on?

Nothing.

I'm going to bed.
I've an early start.

(DOOR CLOSES)

- I'll be back seven-ish.
- I'm going out tonight.

I don't mean to load this
all on you,

but can you hurry up
and get better, please?

I think it'd be good
for both of us.

I'm actually good at my job.

Most of the time.

Anyway,
you don't wanna hear all this.

It's just...

You just focus on learning
how to blink.

Ah, Dr Adam!

Oh, I don't think you've met
my sister, Paula.

Oh, no. Hello.
Lovely to meet you.

- Mm-hm.
- Hello, darling.

I missed you so much.

And the, uh, antibiotic's
starting to work,

- so that's a bit of good news.
- Yes.

And they weighed him again
last night

and he's nearly two stone,
so...

Two pounds.

I think...I think it was stone.

Oh, look!

Look how big you're getting.

Oh, I've actually
got something for him.

Oh, that's so kind of you.

They must have cost you
a fortune.

I...

I knitted them.

That's something for him
to grow into.

Hopefully.

Look what Dr Adam made.
I love you so much.

Mummy loves you so, so much.

I don't know how it's got
so stuck up there.

It must have turned around
on itself

or must be sitting on some kind
of ledge, or something.

And there's no way
you can tell me

- what it is?
- Oh, no, no,

I want it to be
a surprise for Carl.

We're always surprising
each other.

Yeah, he'd have got it out
himself

if he didn't have
such stubby fingers.

It's the same with
me whole family, you know?

Practically toes.

Right, let's, uh, have a look,
shall we?

What do you reckon?

A bottle of Pernod?

The gear stick
from a Vauxhall Corsa?

A selection of baklava?

That's ten points to anyone
who guessed Kinder Egg.

- Right.
- Hey, no, no, no, no.

Don't throw it away.
Carl, open it.

- Oh... Oh! Oh, God.
- (METAL CLATTERS)

Carl Morcom...

...will you marry me?

Say yes, mate. If that's what
she does with a Kinder Egg,

God knows what she'd do
to you if you say no.

Course I will, Tez. Come here.

Congratulations.

Mmm...

Ah, this is so... This is
so her, Doc. This is so you.

Doc, before you go,

will you...will you take
a picture of us, please?

I can't. My thumbs won't
reach the buttons.

Of course.

There you go.

Thank you so much.

I'm the luckiest man
in the world.

Congratulations again.

BOTH: Thank you.

Always with your nose
in a book.

Oh, you probably haven't
got there yet.

Your nose is the pointy bit
on the front of your face.

Did cardiology

- see Mrs Winnicka?
- Mm-hm.

They were satisfied
that nothing was going on.

Great.

See, no-one minds being asked.

Come on.

What do you want?

- We're the doctors.
- I know who you are.

- That's not what I asked.
- Any more of that chest pain?

- No.
- That's good.

(PAGER BEEPS AND BUZZES)

Um... You didn't fancy
a nightcap?

Of course not. Jack Daniel's
tastes like cat's piss.

Well, they were fresh out of
eye of newt.

Piss off.

See you tomorrow, Mrs W.

Anything you'd like to tell me?

Um...

- Fuck off.
- Imagine my surprise

when Benilda informed me

that the patient
with period pains

was still on the ward
this morning.

I instructed you
to send her home.

I really don't think you should
be ignoring her symptoms.

I really don't think you should
be ignoring me and Mr Lockhart.

Who isn't pleased about this,
by the way.

(LAUGHS) Did he tell you that

when you put an apple
on his desk this morning?

- Grow up, Adam.
- Can't we just leave her in

another night for observation?
Trust me, she's really...

No-one trusts you.
I sent her home.

You discharged one patient

when you shouldn't have.
That doesn't mean

you should keep every other
patient in here for ever.

You're lucky to have Adam
to learn from.

Don't do what he does.

Hi, it's Adam.

Well, give her
bloody paracetamol, then.

Hey, mate, do me a favour.

Gimme one of those.

Oi, don't touch me!

Fuck!

Fuck off.

Ruth! Ruth, wait.

Shruti, get me a spot
in emergency theatres now.

Ovarian torsion,
starved and ready.

- (GROANS)
- Uh-huh, yep, that's the one.

What?

I don't give a shit
what Julian said.

Yep.

In.

100% sure. Mm-hm.

Or 50% sure.

And if it's not
an ovarian torsion,

while I'm in theatres,
I can always perform

an emergency cutting
my own head off.

Hospital number 8744352.

Yeah, great. Thank you so much.

Thank you, bye.

Grasper.

Please.

Right, place your bets.

Oh, shit.

It's bloody normal.

Isn't that good?

Oh, it's all right for her.

- Fuck!
- If you wouldn't mind

watching your language
in theatre, please, Doctor.

Sorry, Sister.

Fuck.

Jesus fucking
H fucking Christ.

Right, well, here's
some revision for you.

This is what perfectly normal
pelvic anatomy looks like.

Oh, and here they are.

Great, right on cue.

Get out of theatre, Adam.
Shruti, you did the right thing

- calling me.
- Right, scrub in,

get this closed up.
Camera off, bugger off.

I'll deal with you afterwards.

Oh, hold on.

There's some free fluid
in the abdomen,

something's going on.

Julian, grab me
a pair of size eights.

Thank you,
God that I don't believe in.

I'm sorry about
the mild blasphemy just before.

Out the way.

Oh, yeah, sorry.

Ah, well, there's your answer.

Look how pedunculated
that ovary is

and see how vascular it is
on the surface.

It's been twisting backwards
and forwards on itself.

She must've been
in a right state.

Good spot, young man.

Thank you.

I think we can have
a decent swing at saving this.

You ever done
an oophoropexy before?

Not yet, no.

I've done a few
if you want me to walk him

- through it.
- Thank you very much, Julian,

but I suspect we'll be fine
without you.

Thank you, Julian.

Adam.

Yes, Mr Lockhart.

So put another port in.

Um...

(ADAM CLEARS HIS THROAT)

Right.
Try not to get the bowel.

- That right?
- Yes, you don't want to

go the other way, do you?

It's a great honour,
Mr Lockhart.

Oh, please! Right, you're done,
I think. You're happy?

Are you?

Well, I'm happy,
but it's not my ovary.

(ADAM LAUGHS)

Thank you for taking the time,
Mr Lockhart.

- It's deeply appreciated.
- Right, come on.

We don't want to be here
all day.

There we are. Pop by my office
in half an hour, will you?

I've got a little something
I'd like to talk to you about.

OK, thank you, Mr Lock...

Thank you.

(DOOR CLOSES)

99p.

There you go.

What are you staring at?

- Adam, I'm really sorry.
- What about?

That you grassed me up?
That you didn't trust me?

- Or that you were wrong?
- It wasn't like that.

You don't understand.
I was completely...

I know exactly
what you were doing.

- Looking after number one.
- I was looking out

for the patient

while you were on your mad,
paranoid fishing trip.

It's been like that ever since
you missed that pre-eclamptic.

You got one thing right today,
sure,

but I've got a black mark
on my record now

because of you
and your crazy referrals.

Sorry, I'm just tired.

I'm sorry,

I shouldn't have said that.

Friends?

Colleagues.

Friends.

I'm actually free tonight

if you want someone to test you
on all of that stuff.

Seriously, would you mind?

It's just none of it's
going in.

Sure, I forget that there
was a time

when I didn't know
all of this stuff, either.

I think I was seven.

Mr Lockhart wants to give me
a pat on the back,

um, so I'll come and grab you
when I'm done.

Got a ten-year-old bottle of
cat piss we can crack open.

Come.

Hey.

Lovely work there, Kay.

You're a good little
doctor, aren't you?

Sounds a bit like
I'm an Enid Blyton character,

but I'll take it.
Well, I've, erm...

I've been trained
by the very best.

Did you study in London?

Er, sure did, yeah.

- Um, third generation.
- Ah!

You got any kids?

- Er, no.
- Married?

No.

Mmm.

I'm in a long-term
relationship.

Oh, what does
your girlfriend do?

Actually, erm, graphic design.

That's sweet.

Do you know what these are?

I'm gonna go with babies.

I ask every mum I deliver
to give me a picture.

That's the first case

of twin-to-twin transfusion
syndrome I looked after.

Internal podalic version.

- That's really wonderful.
- Oh, and this

one's outside a fondue
station in Val-d'Isère.

Lot of crap in this job,
so, er,

it's nice holding on to the
good things when they happen.

- Hmm.
- Van Hegan.

The pre-eclamptic 25-weeker
from a couple of weeks back.

Yeah, bit of bad news,
I'm afraid.

The mum's lodged a complaint.

You'll be getting
the paperwork through in a bit.

I just wanted to give you
the heads-up,

so you can start writing your
statement, all that business.

Oh, cheer up,
you're not gonna lose your job.

Just might make it harder
to get the next one.

Well, don't let me stop you
from pissing off

so I can go home.

- Um...
- Shut the door.

Bye.

(GENTLE MUSIC)

(SINGLE NOTE)

(SIGHS)

(EXHALES)

(DOOR OPENS)

Thought you said you
were gonna be out tonight.

Then I realised
I'd rather be in.

TV:
If I was Preston's girlfriend,

I'd chore the face off you
when you came at me.

- Pulling my arms.
- Pulling his arms.

I'd cut his cock off.

HARRY: All this is teaching me
is that famous people

are the same as normal people,
just much more boring.

Could hardly describe half
these people as famous.

(TV CONTINUES)

How was work?

It's fine, yeah.

You know we've been going out
for two years?

- Really?
- Mmm.

God, feels like longer.

Feels like ten.

Maybe it is ten in straight
years, do you think?

I know when something's up.

(SIGHS)

There is something, right?

Harry?

Yeah?

Will you marry me?

No.

(MELANCHOLY MUSIC)