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1
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:25,148
That's what I'm talking about.
2
00:00:27,944 --> 00:00:31,414
- Where'd it go?
- It never came out.
3
00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:41,458
Here we go.
4
00:00:42,417 --> 00:00:43,997
- Dad!
- Fuck!
5
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,344
- Fucking fuck!
- Dad!
6
00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:47,338
- Somebody help me! Fuck!
- Somebody please help!
7
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:48,550
Somebody help me!
8
00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:50,800
Somebody help me!
9
00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:53,222
- Somebody please help!
10
00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,521
I don't get it.
11
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,349
If there's 100,000
pythons in the Everglades,
12
00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:03,864
where the fuck are they all?
13
00:01:05,648 --> 00:01:07,898
Hello, Jillian, why
you on the phone?
14
00:01:07,942 --> 00:01:09,692
- Focus up.
- I'm very focused.
15
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,464
It's just that I'm getting
all these texts from this guy,
16
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:13,198
Nate, who I met at Dominine.
17
00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:16,279
I don't know how to respond.
18
00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:19,326
- "Where'd you go?"
- "Did I do something wrong?"
19
00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:20,791
Jillian, did you
ghost this dude?
20
00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:23,630
Yes, but only because
he's handsome and rich,
21
00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:26,837
and he thought I was rich,
too, for some weird reason.
22
00:01:26,878 --> 00:01:28,208
Probably because I said I was.
23
00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:29,674
Good. You made the right call.
24
00:01:29,714 --> 00:01:32,804
You can't start a relationship
on a foundation of lies.
25
00:01:32,842 --> 00:01:36,142
Lying always ends bad.
26
00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:38,559
Yes, you're right, definitely.
27
00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:40,728
But have you seen the
movie, "Maid in Manhattan"?
28
00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:43,897
J-Lo lies to Ralph Fiennes,
and they still end up together.
29
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:46,727
Plus, all of her maid friends
get promoted to management.
30
00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:49,693
- Yeah, that's J-Lo.
- You're not J-Lo.
31
00:01:49,734 --> 00:01:53,244
Okay, you're J... actually,
I don't know your last name.
32
00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:55,319
It's Glopp, like the
sound lotion makes
33
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:56,735
when it hits the floor.
34
00:01:56,783 --> 00:02:00,413
Uh, yeah, I don't see things
working out for J-Glopp.
35
00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:02,213
You mad at me about something?
36
00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:05,247
What?
37
00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:09,171
No, no, I'm sorry. I
don't know who I'm mad at.
38
00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:10,773
Honestly, I thought
this Rita Gaines thing
39
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:12,566
would work out, and we wouldn't
have to be back out here.
40
00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:15,510
- Fuck Rita Gaines.
- I hope she gains weight.
41
00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:17,262
Come on, don't be fatphobic.
42
00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:18,433
You're right, I'm sorry.
43
00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:21,681
I hope she gains cancer?
44
00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:23,265
That's much worse.
45
00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:25,099
I hope she gains
a little decency.
46
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,105
Would you two shut the fuck up?
47
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:30,277
- The fuck?
- Huh?
48
00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:31,502
- What's happening?
- What the fuck?
49
00:02:31,526 --> 00:02:33,146
- I mean...
- Who the fuck is this?
50
00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:37,284
- Damn it.
- You scared all the snakes off.
51
00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:38,783
What the fuck are you wearing?
52
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:40,575
It's a ghillie suit.
53
00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:42,448
Well, I like the
name, very cute.
54
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:44,035
No, there's nothing
cute about this,
55
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:46,460
unless you think it is cute to
dress like a U.S. Navy SEAL.
56
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,339
I think it's cute to
dress up like a tree.
57
00:02:48,376 --> 00:02:50,796
I bet it's a fun way
to feed the birds.
58
00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:53,167
- It's camo, all right?
- It breaks up my silhouette.
59
00:02:53,214 --> 00:02:54,514
Makes me invisible to the prey.
60
00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:56,299
Dad, do I have to
wear this thing?
61
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:57,403
It's a thousand
degrees out here,
62
00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:58,797
and it smells like shit.
63
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:01,345
- It smells fucking fine.
- It smells like gasoline.
64
00:03:01,389 --> 00:03:02,679
It's not gasoline.
65
00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:04,354
It's an expensive
snake pheromone
66
00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:06,442
that I bought off a very
reputable online dealer.
67
00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:08,358
The pythons find it alluring.
68
00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:10,146
People can't smell it.
69
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,520
Oh, I can definitely smell it.
70
00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:12,960
Yeah, well, then you must
be the one human being
71
00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:14,364
that can smell snake pheromone.
72
00:03:14,402 --> 00:03:15,463
So you should be in
a fucking museum.
73
00:03:15,487 --> 00:03:17,237
You got scammed, Dad.
74
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,091
Yeah, well, at least I didn't
get a D in math, Corby.
75
00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:20,926
Yeah, that's because I
can never do my homework
76
00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:23,410
because I'm always editing
your stupid videos.
77
00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:25,333
I'm trying to set
you up for life.
78
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:26,712
Would you rather know geometry
79
00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:28,208
or be proficient
in Adobe Premiere?
80
00:03:28,249 --> 00:03:29,499
- Math.
- No one gives a shit
81
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:31,632
about triangles anymore, Corby.
82
00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:33,050
Now, this is our
snake territory.
83
00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:34,208
We called dibs.
84
00:03:34,255 --> 00:03:37,375
So go someplace
else and fuck off.
85
00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:39,255
Suit up, son.
86
00:03:41,262 --> 00:03:42,222
- Bye.
- Bye, Corby.
87
00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:44,393
- Nice to see you.
- Corby!
88
00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:50,289
There's the fucking thief.
89
00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:51,943
Well, fucking finally.
90
00:03:51,981 --> 00:03:53,441
It's been two days.
91
00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:55,252
All I had to eat were these
Dominine brand energy bars.
92
00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:56,526
Oh, you should be thanking me.
93
00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:58,359
Those things are gold.
They're all I ever eat.
94
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,195
And I never have
to shit, like ever.
95
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,410
Seems dangerous.
96
00:04:01,449 --> 00:04:02,949
What's dangerous
is how much work
97
00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:04,872
I'm getting done while
you're sitting on the can,
98
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:07,121
wiping your fucking ass.
99
00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:08,753
Now, you stole from me,
100
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:09,892
and I don't like
being stolen from.
101
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:10,786
I ain't steal from you.
102
00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:12,134
I was conducting
my own business.
103
00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:14,628
Selling access to
my fucking event.
104
00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:16,357
This guy took all my shit
when he tossed me in here.
105
00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:17,841
So you already
have all the cash.
106
00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:20,762
Yeah, the problem is you've
been in here for 48 hours,
107
00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:23,392
while that money's been in
Jarren's sweaty little pocket
108
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,850
instead of in the
markets making a return.
109
00:04:25,890 --> 00:04:27,493
And I don't know if
you know this about me,
110
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,637
but I make money make money.
111
00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:31,806
So you owe me interest,
112
00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:34,265
say 18%, 18% of
113
00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:37,435
- 21,000.
114
00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:41,405
Holy shit, you made
21K selling wristbands?
115
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:44,578
Yeah, all it cost me
was one $400 ticket.
116
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,287
'Cause I don't know if
you noticed about me,
117
00:04:46,327 --> 00:04:47,747
but I make money make money.
118
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,457
Hey that's Rodney's
catch phrase.
119
00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:51,077
Hey, at least he used
it right, Jarren.
120
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,634
- Sorry.
- Don't apologize!
121
00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:54,587
Jesus Christ, have you
read any of my books?
122
00:04:54,627 --> 00:04:57,087
- Yeah...
- Don't answer that.
123
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,670
I know you have.
124
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:00,443
You're obsessed with me,
and it's fucking weird.
125
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:03,347
Now, you got one day
to get me my money.
126
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:09,806
Or else.
127
00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:11,901
Motherfucker.
128
00:05:11,936 --> 00:05:15,766
The "or else" is implied
by the silence, you dunce.
129
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:18,815
You never add anything. You
never fucking add anything.
130
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:21,200
Fuck! Let's go!
131
00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:24,661
I just didn't think
every relationship
132
00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:26,909
that starts with a lie is bad.
133
00:05:26,951 --> 00:05:28,621
We never would've
become partners
134
00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:30,621
if I hadn't pretended
I drove a Mercedes.
135
00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:32,333
And yet here we are,
136
00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:34,634
tromping through the
swamp empty-handed.
137
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,878
Jury's still out on
where this is headed.
138
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,460
Help!
139
00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,215
- Is that what's his name?
- Corby.
140
00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:41,756
- Help!
141
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,590
- Please, come here!
- Oh, shit!
142
00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:45,255
- Oh, my God!
- The snake is choking him!
143
00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:47,143
- What happened?
- Fuck, get it off.
144
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,560
- Please help.
- What happened?
145
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:49,867
We were laying down, and
it just crawled in there.
146
00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:50,891
I was invisible.
147
00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:52,484
It's 'cause I look
like the swamp.
148
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:53,899
Hey, I'm gonna find the head.
149
00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:55,897
Oh, my God, it's going
all the way around.
150
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,689
- Here, use the bolt gun!
- I got the head!
151
00:05:57,732 --> 00:05:59,572
Here's the head, it's
here. It's by his waist!
152
00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:01,699
- Dad, Dad, Dad!
- Hold still, hold still.
153
00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:03,606
Don't shoot my dick off.
154
00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:07,695
- Dad!
155
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:11,906
Oh.
156
00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:14,495
- What the...
- Why are you in a thong?
157
00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:17,091
'Cause it's fucking
hot in there.
158
00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:20,457
I'd be naked, but the
suit chafes my penis.
159
00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:22,024
The suit you just put
a hole in, by the way.
160
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,048
Thanks for that.
161
00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:24,511
Oh, sorry for saving your life.
162
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:25,511
Yeah, you didn't save my life.
163
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:26,722
You ruined my take.
164
00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:28,511
I was pretending
to be strangled.
165
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,015
Build tension for the video.
166
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:33,556
That's right, hot shot. Smile,
'cause you're on camera.
167
00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:37,516
Are you fucking serious?
168
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:38,864
Where's the camera, Corby?
169
00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:40,398
What? I dropped it.
170
00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:42,112
- I got scared.
- Did I call cut?
171
00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:43,492
You weren't breathing.
172
00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:46,818
- Goddammit!
- That is method acting, son.
173
00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:48,092
You've done enough
of these to know
174
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:49,156
that's part of my process.
175
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:52,370
It looks like you've
peed yourself.
176
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,122
That's just snake pee.
177
00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:56,584
The snake peed on top of my
penis when he got scared.
178
00:06:56,624 --> 00:06:58,424
Right on top.
179
00:06:58,460 --> 00:06:59,880
I'm sorry we ruined your video.
180
00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:03,049
Here you go. We'll just
be taking our snake.
181
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,799
- Like hell you will.
- It's my snake.
182
00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:06,221
- How?
- But we killed it.
183
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,029
Yeah, well, I could've
killed it any time I want to,
184
00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:10,313
but if I killed too
easily, there's no story.
185
00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:11,927
And I'm a fucking storyteller.
186
00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:13,893
So sorry, tough shit, my snake.
187
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:15,193
Fuck it, look.
188
00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:18,056
We'll turn it in together
and split it, all right?
189
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:20,734
Just put some clothes on and
clean the pee off yourself.
190
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:23,572
All right.
191
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,990
I don't drink. You know why?
192
00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:28,569
It's 'cause when guys go
out, they go hit the clubs.
193
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,235
They go to the bars.
194
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,623
What they're telling the
people around them is,
195
00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:35,000
"My job's done for the day."
196
00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:38,668
Well, fuck that. My
work ain't ever done.
197
00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:42,168
Yo, that dude is crazy, man.
198
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:44,422
Yeah, he dumb as hell,
199
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,594
but he's rich as shit.
200
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,803
I'm like this.
201
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:52,099
Rich and dumb.
202
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,768
A man can make some
money off that combo.
203
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,308
That's not how the system works.
204
00:07:56,351 --> 00:07:57,731
I can't just split a snake.
205
00:07:57,769 --> 00:07:59,809
It's 10 feet of snake.
206
00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:02,694
Five feet of snake for him,
five feet of snake for us.
207
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:05,532
Every submission
needs a tag number,
208
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:07,198
and the tag number has
to go with the head.
209
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:10,067
And I'm already
having the worst week.
210
00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:12,155
Sarah's pissed at me because
of all this Nick stuff.
211
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,950
And then I got my tongue
pierced three days ago,
212
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:16,764
but then it got infected,
so I had to take it out.
213
00:08:16,788 --> 00:08:19,168
Now it's so painful
that I can't eat.
214
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:21,377
And I'm so fucking hungry.
215
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:23,288
And now you guys
are yelling at me?
216
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,796
- Nobody's yelling at you.
- Who cares about your week?
217
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:28,259
- Doesn't matter anyway.
- You're wasting your time.
218
00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:29,429
You're too far behind.
219
00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,387
Too far behind?
220
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:33,558
- Far behind who?
221
00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:34,556
Him.
222
00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:03,964
Who the fuck is that guy?
223
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,760
What's up, Carlos?
224
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,430
Five pythons in one day.
225
00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:15,719
Hey, save some for
the rest of us, man.
226
00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:17,684
Save...
227
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,434
A lot of eye contact.
228
00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:22,705
I thought what you
said was very funny.
229
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:24,019
Thank you.
230
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:26,484
- Okay, that's another 32 feet.
- Sign here.
231
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,324
32 feet?
232
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,051
- Explain Carlos, please.
- Who the hell is Carlos?
233
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,427
- Who is this?
- Doesn't make any sense.
234
00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:37,991
I don't know, but
he's gonna win.
235
00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:39,996
He's killed like 20
snakes in four days.
236
00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:42,328
- Oh, my God.
- 20? How the fuck?
237
00:09:42,374 --> 00:09:44,884
We've got 3 1/2, and I
thought we were doing good.
238
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,458
Perfect puncture wound,
239
00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:48,553
right between the eyes,
every goddamn one.
240
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:51,798
- He's a snake ninja.
- So we should give up.
241
00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:53,551
We've been wasting
our damn time.
242
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,143
No, we call a truce.
243
00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:56,718
Quit fighting until
we can figure out
244
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,433
how to beat this guy.
245
00:09:58,473 --> 00:10:03,063
Two archenemies teaming
up to vanquish common foe.
246
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,313
It won't matter.
247
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:05,498
Even if we combine our snakes,
248
00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:07,482
he'd still be kicking our asses.
249
00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:08,824
How does he find so many?
250
00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:10,378
I bet he's got a
secret hunting ground.
251
00:10:10,402 --> 00:10:12,249
We should follow him and
see where he finds them.
252
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:14,738
- Follow him from where?
- We don't know where he lives.
253
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:18,491
Nah, I know how to find out.
254
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:27,254
Okay!
255
00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:34,554
Forgot I had this fucker on.
256
00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:37,932
You ever WOWO, work
out with oxygen?
257
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,891
Gives you more energy,
258
00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:42,101
faster recovery, it
keeps you looking young.
259
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:45,772
Here's a fun game. How
old do you think I am?
260
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,442
49.
261
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,070
- 49?
- What, are you fucking dumb?
262
00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:53,187
No, I'm 42, but I look
31, and fuck, I feel 14.
263
00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:55,906
I had a wet dream last
night, motherfucker.
264
00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:57,487
So you got my money or what?
265
00:10:57,532 --> 00:10:58,843
I got something
better than money.
266
00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:00,197
I got a proposition.
267
00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:02,083
I'm willing to
come work for you.
268
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,660
Why the fuck would
Rodney want that?
269
00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:05,035
What do you provide?
270
00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:06,183
I mean, it seems like
you could use someone
271
00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:07,727
who's not afraid to
get their hands dirty.
272
00:11:07,751 --> 00:11:10,501
Ooh, I don't like what
you're insinuating there.
273
00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:12,545
- I'm a legitimate businessman.
- Yeah?
274
00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:14,436
I checked every penthouse
and top floor apartment
275
00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:15,966
sold by Lamonca
Development Group
276
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:17,549
over the last six years.
277
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:20,224
They're consistently
10% above comps.
278
00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:21,933
Because I build
premier fucking units
279
00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:23,853
with premier fucking materials.
280
00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:27,772
Maybe, or maybe given how
many of your units are sold
281
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:29,232
to newly formed shell companies,
282
00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:33,232
you're just laundering
money for foreign oligarchs.
283
00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:35,066
All right, I'm impressed.
284
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:37,201
- You can't hire this guy.
- He's a con man.
285
00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:39,908
You think you get a fucking
say in this, Jarren?
286
00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:41,829
Do the fucking elves
get to tell Santa
287
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:43,908
which kids were naughty?
288
00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:45,413
- No.
- What do the elves do?
289
00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:48,115
- Nothing.
- They're just short losers.
290
00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:50,916
Short fucking losers who
live in Santa's shadow,
291
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,460
you fucking elf.
292
00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:59,684
Welcome to Team Rodney.
293
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,929
- I don't understand.
- What are we doing here?
294
00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:03,771
- It's my house.
- Gotta access my footage.
295
00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:05,347
Gotta get on the Wi-Fi.
296
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:08,602
Don't wanna stream that shit
over cellular, fuck up my data.
297
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:10,645
But why can't we just go inside?
298
00:12:10,689 --> 00:12:13,189
- 'Cause my wife's inside.
- I don't wanna surprise her.
299
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,613
- Why?
- She hates surprises, okay?
300
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,296
She's gotta schedule, and I
just show up out of the blue.
301
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:18,714
You have any idea what
that's gonna do to her?
302
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,028
Nothing.
303
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,258
Doesn't seem like an
imposition at all.
304
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:22,872
Can't you just text
her you're here?
305
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:26,829
- And surprise her with a text?
- This guy just doesn't get it.
306
00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:28,599
You wanna know what's gonna
happen if I go inside?
307
00:12:28,623 --> 00:12:30,333
My wife's gonna see me.
She's gonna want sex.
308
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,125
Okay? We don't
have time for that.
309
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:33,838
- Dad.
- Not the way I do it.
310
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:35,378
- Dad.
- Sorry, Corby.
311
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:37,802
Just 'cause you're a virgin
doesn't mean that I am.
312
00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:39,091
I found the footage.
313
00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:40,724
Can we just look at
the footage already?
314
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,470
Here we go.
315
00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:44,062
Motherfuckers that got canoes...
316
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:46,217
This is the intro from
the kickoff event.
317
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,556
Guess what I got?
318
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,640
Here we go. Here
we go. Okay, boom.
319
00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:52,016
That's that
motherfucker's motorcycle.
320
00:12:52,063 --> 00:12:53,153
And that's his plate.
321
00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:54,479
How's that help us?
322
00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:57,194
My best friend Matt
works at the DMV.
323
00:12:57,235 --> 00:12:59,645
I'll run the plates,
get us an address.
324
00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:02,366
I'm gonna track this
son of a bitch down.
325
00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:06,327
You... you still wish
we'd gone inside?
326
00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:08,199
- Absolutely.
- This has all been so weird.
327
00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:15,001
Corby.
328
00:13:15,045 --> 00:13:17,255
- I want you to hang back.
- Why?
329
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:18,649
'Cause I'm the pop,
and you're the baby,
330
00:13:18,673 --> 00:13:19,923
and the baby don't
ask questions.
331
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:21,216
Okay.
332
00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:22,929
Also what we're about
to do is illegal,
333
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:25,009
and I don't want you involved.
334
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:30,273
I'll stay here and babysit.
335
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:33,360
I'm twice your height.
336
00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:35,856
I can't run a
stranger's plates, bro.
337
00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:37,229
I just don't wanna lose my job.
338
00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:39,275
Wuh-buh, wuh-buh.
339
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,819
You don't wanna lose your
precious paycheck, huh?
340
00:13:41,863 --> 00:13:44,163
Huh, you're not gonna be able
to take care of your sister,
341
00:13:44,199 --> 00:13:47,199
to afford her
around-the-clock care?
342
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:49,253
Come on, how's she doing,
by the way, anyway?
343
00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:50,747
Not great.
344
00:13:50,789 --> 00:13:52,391
We're just trying to keep her
comfortable at this point.
345
00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:54,165
Then goddammit, Matt, huh?
346
00:13:54,209 --> 00:13:56,039
You never been afraid
to break a few rules.
347
00:13:56,086 --> 00:13:58,105
What happened to Matt Wendro
who stole the fucking SAT book,
348
00:13:58,129 --> 00:13:59,509
gave it to the whole
goddamn school?
349
00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:01,627
- He got caught.
- We all got caught.
350
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:03,385
No one in our grade
went to college.
351
00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:05,216
We didn't need to
go to college, okay?
352
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:06,551
You still went down there
353
00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:08,886
and partied every weekend
with those guys anyway.
354
00:14:08,932 --> 00:14:11,062
- Hey it's cool, man.
- Let's find another way.
355
00:14:11,101 --> 00:14:12,771
No, no, hey, hey,
hey, come on, come on.
356
00:14:16,106 --> 00:14:19,106
- I know about you and Robin.
- What?
357
00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:22,530
- I know about you and Robin.
- What are you talking about?
358
00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:25,240
I know that you're
sleeping with my wife!
359
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:27,451
Hey, can I ask you something?
360
00:14:27,492 --> 00:14:29,242
Sure.
361
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:33,325
So there's this guy,
and I really like him,
362
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,753
but he thinks I'm
someone I'm not.
363
00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,292
Is this something
you should talk to
364
00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:40,125
one of your adult friends about?
365
00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:42,841
I'm going to, but
they're all so busy.
366
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:43,842
So what do you think?
367
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:46,093
Right. Um, I don't know.
368
00:14:46,136 --> 00:14:48,046
Kind of seems skeezy to me.
369
00:14:48,096 --> 00:14:50,766
I played "Call of Duty" with
this guy named NinjaKillz,
370
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,887
and I thought he
was around my age.
371
00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:56,104
But one day I heard his wife
yelling at him about a DUI.
372
00:14:56,146 --> 00:14:58,816
Turns out he's actually a
50-year-old dude from Arizona.
373
00:14:58,857 --> 00:15:00,897
Maybe NinjaKillz was scared
to tell you the truth
374
00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:03,072
because he thought
you wouldn't like him.
375
00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:05,111
- He's older than my dad.
- It's creepy.
376
00:15:05,155 --> 00:15:07,905
Right, totally.
377
00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:09,989
But have you thought about
maybe going to meet up
378
00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:12,325
with him in person to see if
you have a real connection?
379
00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:13,870
To Arizona?
380
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,923
This all started because
you and NinjaKillz
381
00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:17,497
really liked each other.
382
00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:19,962
Are you gonna throw away
something so special
383
00:15:20,003 --> 00:15:22,133
just because of one little lie?
384
00:15:22,172 --> 00:15:24,092
Do you want me to
hook up with this guy?
385
00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:26,472
No, I'm trying to get advice
for my own thing, Corby.
386
00:15:26,509 --> 00:15:28,929
God, you don't get it.
387
00:15:30,513 --> 00:15:34,023
Come on, Brock, I don't know
what you're talking about.
388
00:15:34,059 --> 00:15:36,639
Well, I heard you. Okay?
389
00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:39,356
I came home to surprise
Robin, I heard you,
390
00:15:39,397 --> 00:15:42,607
and then the next time
I came home, I saw you.
391
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:44,045
And then there was
another time I came home,
392
00:15:44,069 --> 00:15:44,989
but I didn't go in the house,
393
00:15:45,028 --> 00:15:45,988
but you were having sex
394
00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:47,029
against the Nest Cam.
395
00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:48,492
- Nest Cam?
- Jesus.
396
00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:51,331
- Why didn't you say anything?
- Because I don't care.
397
00:15:51,368 --> 00:15:53,618
You know, it's all about
my elbow injury anyway.
398
00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:55,411
I can't put pressure
on my right elbow.
399
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,205
So I can't be on top during sex,
400
00:15:57,248 --> 00:15:58,748
which is, like,
my best position.
401
00:15:58,792 --> 00:15:59,882
It's my go-to.
402
00:15:59,918 --> 00:16:01,312
It's the one I grew
up doing the most.
403
00:16:01,336 --> 00:16:02,416
So it's only natural.
404
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:03,882
Robin's gonna be
with somebody else.
405
00:16:03,922 --> 00:16:05,972
But as soon as my
elbow is fixed,
406
00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:07,627
well, then I'm back on top.
407
00:16:07,676 --> 00:16:10,426
On top of my wife,
on top of my life.
408
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,310
I wanted to tell
you so many times.
409
00:16:12,347 --> 00:16:13,699
Well, it would've been
a boring conversation
410
00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:15,853
because I know
everything anyway, okay?
411
00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:18,352
Been there, done that,
and I'm okay with it.
412
00:16:18,395 --> 00:16:20,265
All right?
413
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,613
Then why are you bringing it up?
414
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:24,028
Because I can still
pretend like I care,
415
00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:25,187
even if I don't.
416
00:16:25,235 --> 00:16:27,445
I can pretend like I don't mind
417
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,487
that I'm an
embarrassment to my son,
418
00:16:29,531 --> 00:16:31,741
and I can pretend
like I don't care
419
00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:35,333
that I've lost my best friend
and my wife at the same moment.
420
00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:37,000
I could pretend like
421
00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:39,868
I have never felt more alone
in the whole fucking world,
422
00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:42,706
and I can pull it off, too,
because I am a great actor.
423
00:16:42,752 --> 00:16:45,132
I'm a storyteller, and
I bring stories to life!
424
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:47,341
- I'll run the plates, man.
- You gotta calm down.
425
00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:49,722
- I am calm, all right?
- This is acting!
426
00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:51,679
Goddammit.
427
00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:56,219
Classic shakedown.
428
00:16:56,266 --> 00:16:58,846
You need to talk
to somebody, man?
429
00:16:58,893 --> 00:17:01,773
About what?
430
00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:04,403
Here, but it's not a
residential address.
431
00:17:04,441 --> 00:17:08,401
The bike is
registered to an LLC.
432
00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:10,815
Family Fun Times Adventure Park?
433
00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:14,027
Excuse me.
434
00:17:14,075 --> 00:17:16,695
Hi, we're looking for this guy.
435
00:17:16,745 --> 00:17:19,035
He has dark hair,
a scar on his face,
436
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,370
kind of a lone wolf vibe.
437
00:17:20,415 --> 00:17:23,335
- You mean Condom Carl?
- No, his name's Carlos.
438
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:25,996
Well, Condom Carl has a scar
on his face, and he works here.
439
00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:28,626
He like, fixes the
windmill and mops up vomit.
440
00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:30,359
Plus, he picks up like,
a shit ton of condoms.
441
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:31,444
Why are there a
shit ton of condoms
442
00:17:31,468 --> 00:17:32,718
at the putt-putt course?
443
00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:34,030
'Cause there's
holes in the fence,
444
00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:36,224
so high school kids sneak
in and have sex here.
445
00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:37,774
Then Condom Carl
picks up after 'em.
446
00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:39,477
He made this like,
weird condom stick
447
00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:41,597
with a nail on the end, so sad.
448
00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:43,984
- That's his snake stick.
- No, it's for condoms.
449
00:17:44,022 --> 00:17:45,442
He did kill a snake
that one time.
450
00:17:45,482 --> 00:17:46,782
Oh, yeah, like eight months ago,
451
00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:48,566
there was a big one
living in the castle,
452
00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:49,712
and this guy stuck
his hand in...
453
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,646
Bit him.
454
00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:53,366
Then Condom Carl had
to poke it to death.
455
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,236
All right, well, we're
clearly talking about
456
00:17:55,283 --> 00:17:56,663
two different people here, okay?
457
00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:59,041
Our guy's a snake slayer.
Not a fucking jizz janitor.
458
00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:00,829
Okay, well, Condom
Carl's over there,
459
00:18:00,872 --> 00:18:02,422
so you tell me.
460
00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:08,666
What the hell?
461
00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:11,843
- Oh, here we go.
- Moving in for the kill.
462
00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:16,391
Ah.
463
00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:36,412
Whoa, how you liking that suit?
464
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:39,159
Yeah, feels good, feels fine.
465
00:18:39,202 --> 00:18:40,662
From my Dominine line.
466
00:18:40,704 --> 00:18:42,964
Sweatshop made, baby.
467
00:18:42,997 --> 00:18:45,457
Yeah, I'm proud of
that. Tell you what?
468
00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:48,170
I wish I grew up
in a sweat shop.
469
00:18:48,211 --> 00:18:50,921
I'm jealous of those kids
developing a work ethic.
470
00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:52,514
The only thing I was
doing at that age
471
00:18:52,549 --> 00:18:54,299
was trying to figure out
which pillow to fuck.
472
00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:56,682
They're on the way.
473
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:59,970
Who's on the way?
474
00:19:00,015 --> 00:19:01,385
Go ahead.
475
00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:03,443
We're meeting Arty am Sikorof.
476
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:05,162
He's looking to purchase
three luxury apartments,
477
00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:06,936
well over ask in cash.
478
00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:08,980
In return, our
lawyers will forget
479
00:19:09,024 --> 00:19:11,744
to report this
transaction to the OFAC.
480
00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:13,396
Just say we doing
a crime, Jarren.
481
00:19:13,445 --> 00:19:15,355
Be direct, or don't be at all.
482
00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:16,565
You read my book?
483
00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:17,925
You think I'm gonna
work for someone
484
00:19:17,949 --> 00:19:19,699
and not read everything
they've ever written?
485
00:19:19,743 --> 00:19:22,333
- Somebody's obsessed.
- Yes.
486
00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:25,120
Obsessed with making money.
Are you not, Jare Bear?
487
00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:27,535
Jare Bear, I like that.
488
00:19:27,584 --> 00:19:29,884
Write that down so
I don't forget it.
489
00:19:29,919 --> 00:19:31,230
You want me to write
down Jare Bare?
490
00:19:31,254 --> 00:19:32,554
Yes, Jare Bear.
491
00:19:32,589 --> 00:19:34,009
Write it down, Jare Bear.
492
00:19:34,049 --> 00:19:36,759
Okay, I think I know
what's happening.
493
00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:40,181
What if Carlos and
Condom Carl are twins?
494
00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:43,601
I went to high school with
identical twins, Tim and Jim.
495
00:19:43,641 --> 00:19:45,731
And the only way to
tell them apart was that
496
00:19:45,769 --> 00:19:47,599
one of them died of
a heroin overdose.
497
00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:49,805
Okay, they're not
twins, all right?
498
00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:51,266
Listen, we are getting our asses
499
00:19:51,316 --> 00:19:52,776
handed to us by Condom Carl.
500
00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:55,397
Something's just not
right about this.
501
00:19:55,445 --> 00:19:58,275
If he works here full-time,
when is he getting the snakes?
502
00:19:58,323 --> 00:20:00,493
And did you see him
double lock the door, why?
503
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,793
It's a putt-putt
maintenance shed.
504
00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:05,827
You know, when my wife
started deadbolting the door,
505
00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:07,725
that's when I realized
that something was going on
506
00:20:07,749 --> 00:20:10,589
between her and
507
00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:12,957
you know, surprises.
508
00:20:13,004 --> 00:20:16,634
- We're coming back here.
- Tonight, after hours.
509
00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:20,545
We're gonna find out what's
going on in that shed.
510
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,774
I'll take all three.
511
00:20:26,810 --> 00:20:29,480
I'm prepared to do
5% above asking.
512
00:20:29,521 --> 00:20:34,611
5? 10% or we're done here.
513
00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:37,111
Then we're done.
514
00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:39,163
Let me talk to my guys.
515
00:20:39,197 --> 00:20:41,527
Give me the room.
516
00:20:45,662 --> 00:20:48,462
5%? What the fuck, Jarren?
517
00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:50,628
5% is standard for
deals this size.
518
00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:52,167
It's already 60 million,
519
00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:54,710
and he's offering
another 3 for nothing.
520
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,974
There will be more
deals with this guy.
521
00:20:57,007 --> 00:20:59,377
If we close, we
build a relationship.
522
00:20:59,426 --> 00:21:01,006
Fuck that.
523
00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:03,602
You think Santa Claus is out
there building relationships?
524
00:21:03,638 --> 00:21:04,968
What?
525
00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:06,635
Santa tells the
reindeer where to go,
526
00:21:06,683 --> 00:21:08,143
the reindeer don't
fucking negotiate.
527
00:21:08,184 --> 00:21:09,774
We're not talking about Santa.
528
00:21:09,811 --> 00:21:11,691
We're talking about $63 million.
529
00:21:11,730 --> 00:21:15,070
- Which should be 66 million.
- This guy's rich.
530
00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:17,028
What do all rich
people have in common?
531
00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:19,148
They understand that time
is their primary asset.
532
00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:20,565
I always say that.
533
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:21,841
This guy walks away
without a deal,
534
00:21:21,865 --> 00:21:23,695
he wasted his time,
his primary asset.
535
00:21:23,742 --> 00:21:25,742
So you have the leverage.
536
00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:28,365
I say, raise that ask.
537
00:21:28,413 --> 00:21:30,463
It's a bad idea, Rodney.
538
00:21:30,498 --> 00:21:31,668
Okay.
539
00:21:32,834 --> 00:21:37,804
So I talked to my guys,
540
00:21:37,839 --> 00:21:40,589
and the price just went up.
541
00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:42,933
It's now 12%,
542
00:21:42,969 --> 00:21:45,809
Why don't you consider it a tax
for waste of my fucking time?
543
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:54,560
I'll do 10.
544
00:21:54,606 --> 00:21:56,186
My guy.
545
00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:59,032
Welcome to Team
Rodney.
546
00:21:59,069 --> 00:22:02,199
How late does Condom Carl work?
547
00:22:02,238 --> 00:22:04,528
Can you turn that off?
548
00:22:04,574 --> 00:22:06,124
I'm trying to stay
incognito here.
549
00:22:06,159 --> 00:22:07,949
Sorry. I'm sorry.
550
00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:10,254
It's that Nate guy.
He keeps texting.
551
00:22:10,288 --> 00:22:11,708
Seriously, this again?
552
00:22:11,748 --> 00:22:13,918
Text and say you're not
interested, J-Glopp.
553
00:22:13,958 --> 00:22:15,838
Yeah, you're right.
554
00:22:15,877 --> 00:22:18,547
I don't wanna be some old
child molester from Arizona.
555
00:22:18,588 --> 00:22:19,758
What?
556
00:22:19,798 --> 00:22:21,150
It's something that
happened to Corby.
557
00:22:21,174 --> 00:22:23,934
- Oh, my God.
- Or almost happened.
558
00:22:23,968 --> 00:22:25,758
I don't know. I wasn't
paying attention.
559
00:22:28,890 --> 00:22:31,430
Maybe I should see him,
560
00:22:31,476 --> 00:22:34,056
Nate, just to tell him that
I'm not interested in him.
561
00:22:34,104 --> 00:22:35,734
- "Sorry..."
- Oh, no, don't.
562
00:22:35,772 --> 00:22:36,957
- "To run off."
- No, don't text.
563
00:22:36,981 --> 00:22:38,334
"Had an important
business meeting.
564
00:22:38,358 --> 00:22:39,398
Don't send that.
565
00:22:39,442 --> 00:22:41,992
Let's get together."
566
00:22:42,028 --> 00:22:43,238
Craig!
567
00:22:43,279 --> 00:22:45,949
Look, you clearly
wanna be with this guy.
568
00:22:45,990 --> 00:22:47,452
And we were gonna
keep talking about it
569
00:22:47,492 --> 00:22:48,594
until I told you it was okay,
570
00:22:48,618 --> 00:22:50,828
so I'm telling you, it's okay.
571
00:22:50,870 --> 00:22:52,290
Now, if you don't mind,
572
00:22:52,330 --> 00:22:54,100
my life dream hinges on
whether or not we figure out
573
00:22:54,124 --> 00:22:56,044
where Condom crawl is
getting these snakes.
574
00:22:56,084 --> 00:22:59,174
And I'd like to focus
on that, please.
575
00:22:59,212 --> 00:23:01,212
He'd love to.
576
00:23:01,256 --> 00:23:03,426
Hey, here he comes.
577
00:23:21,651 --> 00:23:23,651
Psst.
578
00:23:23,695 --> 00:23:24,945
You didn't even see me.
579
00:23:24,988 --> 00:23:26,090
It's 'cause I don't
have a silhouette.
580
00:23:26,114 --> 00:23:27,624
Did you bring the bolt cutters?
581
00:23:49,721 --> 00:23:51,351
It's warm.
582
00:24:01,858 --> 00:24:04,398
Stinks like shit.
583
00:24:04,444 --> 00:24:05,994
What the fuck?
584
00:24:06,029 --> 00:24:08,159
It's so hot in here.
585
00:24:08,198 --> 00:24:10,868
It's because of all these
fucking space heaters.
586
00:24:20,752 --> 00:24:22,712
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, shit.
587
00:24:29,719 --> 00:24:31,349
Holy shit, they said
that Condom Carl
588
00:24:31,388 --> 00:24:33,218
killed that python
in the castle.
589
00:24:33,264 --> 00:24:36,734
Why is a snake living
in a putt-putt castle?
590
00:24:36,768 --> 00:24:39,808
- It was laying eggs.
- Fucker found a nest.
591
00:24:39,854 --> 00:24:41,904
He must have known
about the contest.
592
00:24:41,940 --> 00:24:43,730
He kept the eggs, hatched them,
593
00:24:43,775 --> 00:24:45,395
raised them to
full-grown snakes.
594
00:24:45,443 --> 00:24:46,953
Never even stepped
foot in the swamp.
595
00:24:46,986 --> 00:24:48,356
We should take pictures.
596
00:24:48,405 --> 00:24:50,195
We can bring proof to
the water management guys
597
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:51,280
and get him disqualified.
598
00:24:53,785 --> 00:24:56,405
No, we kill these snakes
and take 'em in ourselves.
599
00:24:56,454 --> 00:24:59,374
Split it 50/50, make
it a two-team race.
600
00:24:59,416 --> 00:25:01,227
And he won't be able to
prove we did anything wrong
601
00:25:01,251 --> 00:25:02,728
without admitting what
he was doing himself.
602
00:25:02,752 --> 00:25:05,302
- But that's not fair.
- Oh, no.
603
00:25:05,338 --> 00:25:07,588
Oh, that's unfair
to Condom Carl.
604
00:25:07,632 --> 00:25:10,472
How's he gonna feel when he
can't fucking cheat anymore?
605
00:25:10,510 --> 00:25:12,600
No, it's not fair to the
other people in the contest.
606
00:25:12,637 --> 00:25:14,597
We're not the only people
who want the prize money.
607
00:25:14,639 --> 00:25:16,889
A lot of people don't
get what they want, okay?
608
00:25:16,933 --> 00:25:18,143
I didn't want my mom to sleep
609
00:25:18,184 --> 00:25:19,412
with every fucking Little
League coach I had,
610
00:25:19,436 --> 00:25:20,936
but she did it anyway.
611
00:25:20,979 --> 00:25:22,081
That's how this country works.
612
00:25:22,105 --> 00:25:23,435
It's time you grow
a pair, missy.
613
00:25:23,481 --> 00:25:26,781
Well, we're not gonna
do it, right, Craig?
614
00:25:26,818 --> 00:25:28,858
Craig, tell him.
615
00:25:31,990 --> 00:25:34,450
I say we take the snakes.
616
00:25:35,869 --> 00:25:40,169
- Oh, oh, there he is.
- Welcome to mi casa.
617
00:25:40,206 --> 00:25:41,684
Hey, you sure it's
okay that I'm here?
618
00:25:41,708 --> 00:25:43,632
This isn't like a family
dinner or anything, right?
619
00:25:43,668 --> 00:25:45,354
- That fucking guy's here.
- It can't be that intimate.
620
00:25:45,378 --> 00:25:47,668
Anyways, you crushed
it today, man.
621
00:25:47,714 --> 00:25:49,384
And crushing it
makes you family.
622
00:25:49,424 --> 00:25:51,054
Look, I'm just glad
that shit worked out.
623
00:25:51,092 --> 00:25:53,302
I got you a nice little
welcome gift in my office.
624
00:25:53,345 --> 00:25:54,965
Why don't you go check it out?
625
00:25:57,015 --> 00:25:59,135
Oh.
626
00:26:04,272 --> 00:26:07,192
What the fuck?
627
00:26:07,233 --> 00:26:09,243
Jarren?
628
00:26:09,277 --> 00:26:12,527
- What do you think?
- You like that?
629
00:26:12,572 --> 00:26:17,082
Wanted to put a bow on him,
but kind of ran out of time.
630
00:26:17,118 --> 00:26:19,158
So what are you up to, Isaiah?
631
00:26:19,204 --> 00:26:20,664
You trying to make
some money off me?
632
00:26:20,705 --> 00:26:22,615
Man, I wouldn't try
to make money off you.
633
00:26:22,665 --> 00:26:25,375
- Hey, relax.
- It's smart. I'm rich.
634
00:26:25,418 --> 00:26:27,338
You should be trying to
make some money off me,
635
00:26:27,379 --> 00:26:30,379
but this is a two-way street.
636
00:26:30,423 --> 00:26:33,433
And if you wanna
make money off me,
637
00:26:33,468 --> 00:26:35,388
you're gonna make money for me.
638
00:26:35,428 --> 00:26:36,388
You get that?
639
00:26:36,429 --> 00:26:37,719
I got you.
640
00:26:39,474 --> 00:26:42,024
- I'm hungry.
- Let's go get some fajitas.
641
00:26:44,020 --> 00:26:45,770
Fajitas!
642
00:26:48,983 --> 00:26:50,403
No, this is wrong.
643
00:26:50,443 --> 00:26:51,903
We're not gonna
take these snakes.
644
00:26:51,945 --> 00:26:53,673
This contest is about getting
pythons off the street.
645
00:26:53,697 --> 00:26:54,777
That's all we're doing here.
646
00:26:54,823 --> 00:26:55,966
These were bred to be killed.
647
00:26:55,990 --> 00:26:57,330
It's different.
648
00:26:57,367 --> 00:26:58,552
We'll get Carlos kicked
out of the contest,
649
00:26:58,576 --> 00:27:00,196
then we're tied for
first place again.
650
00:27:00,245 --> 00:27:02,035
Until someone else cheats.
651
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:03,830
Are you even paying attention?
652
00:27:03,873 --> 00:27:05,423
Everyone is lying,
653
00:27:05,458 --> 00:27:08,168
and everyone is
getting away with it.
654
00:27:08,211 --> 00:27:10,011
Condom Carl raises
his own snakes.
655
00:27:10,046 --> 00:27:11,876
He's in first place.
656
00:27:11,923 --> 00:27:14,683
Brock's wife is cheating on
him with his best friend.
657
00:27:14,718 --> 00:27:15,861
This guy acts like
he doesn't care.
658
00:27:15,885 --> 00:27:17,545
That's 'cause of
the elbow, okay?
659
00:27:17,595 --> 00:27:19,885
- That situation's nuanced.
- You're lying.
660
00:27:19,931 --> 00:27:23,141
You want that guy to think
you're rich, don't you?
661
00:27:23,184 --> 00:27:24,524
You're the one who texted him.
662
00:27:24,561 --> 00:27:25,955
Because I'm tired of
being the only one
663
00:27:25,979 --> 00:27:27,229
playing by the rules.
664
00:27:27,272 --> 00:27:28,902
The world's unfair, Jillian G.
665
00:27:28,940 --> 00:27:32,110
Maybe it's okay if it's
unfair in our favor for once.
666
00:27:32,152 --> 00:27:34,742
- Guys, guys!
667
00:27:34,779 --> 00:27:36,029
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, fuck.
668
00:27:36,072 --> 00:27:37,202
- Shit.
- What the fuck?
669
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:38,450
- Shit.
- It's the gasoline!
670
00:27:38,491 --> 00:27:40,331
- It's not gasoline.
- It's a snake pheromone.
671
00:27:40,368 --> 00:27:42,448
Oh, fuck!
672
00:27:42,495 --> 00:27:44,155
- Get the suit off.
- Take the suit off.
673
00:27:44,205 --> 00:27:46,075
- Get the suit off!
- Shit!
674
00:27:46,124 --> 00:27:47,584
Oh!
675
00:28:11,316 --> 00:28:12,436
What should we do?
676
00:28:12,484 --> 00:28:13,627
Should we call the
fire department?
677
00:28:13,651 --> 00:28:16,571
Fuck no. We're trespassing.
678
00:28:16,613 --> 00:28:19,453
Get the fuck out of here.
679
00:28:19,491 --> 00:28:21,661
Is everything at this
putt-putt flammable?
680
00:28:21,701 --> 00:28:24,451
Why's the lake on fire?
681
00:28:24,496 --> 00:28:27,116
Shit, shit, shit,
shit. We gotta go.
682
00:28:27,165 --> 00:28:29,535
To the Jeep, come on,
come on. We gotta go!
683
00:29:54,753 --> 00:29:56,843
- Not a doctor.
- Shh.
50408
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