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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:23,111 I know what you're thinking. 2 00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:24,768 "This fucking guy," right? 3 00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:26,476 "Rich prick. 4 00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:28,736 "I mean, damn, that kimono was made to be worn 5 00:00:28,778 --> 00:00:30,172 "for the highest-level state functions 6 00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:31,446 "of the emperor of Japan, 7 00:00:31,489 --> 00:00:34,199 and he's just loungin' around in that shit." 8 00:00:34,242 --> 00:00:36,162 Oh, look at that. 9 00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:38,832 Spilled some osso buco on it. 10 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,832 Oh, well. 11 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:45,495 But let me be clear about this. 12 00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:49,835 No one just hands you a royal kimono. 13 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,223 Nah. 14 00:00:51,259 --> 00:00:54,049 I came from nothing. 15 00:00:54,095 --> 00:00:56,385 People wanna say the American dream is dead. 16 00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:59,231 Well, that's bullshit, 17 00:00:59,267 --> 00:01:01,437 because the story I'm about to tell you, 18 00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:03,438 my story, 19 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,020 is one that can only happen 20 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:09,566 in the U.S. of motherfucking A. 21 00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:14,987 Are you even listening to me, Andrea? 22 00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,453 I thought you were on the phone. 23 00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:18,413 I'm inspiring you with my personal journey. 24 00:01:18,453 --> 00:01:19,913 This is a big deal for you, Andrea. 25 00:01:19,954 --> 00:01:21,414 Pay attention! 26 00:01:27,712 --> 00:01:28,962 Shut up. 27 00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:35,350 Get your ass in the store. 28 00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:46,400 We were in here before. 29 00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:48,319 We took some candy when you weren't looking. 30 00:01:51,986 --> 00:01:53,736 - I'm sorry. - Damn right, you sorry. 31 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:57,080 We are a family that pays for what we get. 32 00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,947 Okay. It's just 30ยข. 33 00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:01,503 Oh, uh, we can't pay for these. 34 00:02:01,538 --> 00:02:02,828 - It's not funny. 35 00:02:02,872 --> 00:02:05,422 You know I'm working towards something, Isaiah. 36 00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,788 Nobody succeeds overnight. You gotta put the time in. 37 00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:08,836 Ask him. 38 00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:10,588 Was it easy opening this place up? 39 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:12,170 - No. - It took years of hard work. 40 00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:14,255 You see, boys? Years. 41 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,930 You just gotta keep the faith. 42 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,430 Dad. 43 00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:19,851 - Dad! - What? 44 00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:22,814 We took more candy. 45 00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:26,806 Give him the candy. 46 00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:31,396 I'm proud of you, Craig. 47 00:02:33,361 --> 00:02:34,901 Fucking snitch. 48 00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:36,316 - Ah! 49 00:02:36,364 --> 00:02:38,124 What's the combination, motherfucker? 50 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,408 Stop fucking stalling! 51 00:02:40,452 --> 00:02:42,332 - Be cool. - I didn't see anything. 52 00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:51,625 So how did I get from there 53 00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:54,761 to the splendor and opulence I now inhabit? 54 00:02:54,799 --> 00:02:57,179 Wait, are you crying? Don't cry. 55 00:02:57,218 --> 00:02:59,138 Oh, Mr. Craig, it's so sad. 56 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,197 It's not sad. It's inspiring. 57 00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:01,431 No, it is sad. 58 00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:02,723 Agree to disagree. 59 00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:04,306 I lost my cousin when I was eight. 60 00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:05,771 We're not talking about that now. 61 00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:07,600 Andrea, this is a uplifting interaction. 62 00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:09,105 Cancer. 63 00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,147 Andrea! 64 00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:19,164 It's 4:00 a.m. Miami is asleep. 65 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,029 But me, I'm wide awake. Why? 66 00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:22,656 Am I out at the clubs? 67 00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:24,832 Do I rise with the European markets? 68 00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,161 No. 69 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,826 I just really have to pee. 70 00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:32,499 Pause for laughter. Pause for laughter. 71 00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:34,205 This is an all-too-familiar story 72 00:03:34,255 --> 00:03:37,295 for a man of over 40, 50, or even 60. 73 00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:38,682 So what's the deal? 74 00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:40,388 Chances are, you're suffering from 75 00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:42,678 benign pro static hyperplasia. 76 00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:45,642 In other words, you have an enlarged prostate, son. 77 00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:49,395 That's too Black. That's too Black. 78 00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:52,517 In other words, you have an enlarged prostate, sir. 79 00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:56,315 Frequent need, weak stream, post-urination dribbling... 80 00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,821 This has to stop. 81 00:03:57,862 --> 00:03:59,162 But luckily... 82 00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:00,777 Nessa, up! 83 00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:02,802 I'm dropping you at your mom's. I have to be at work early. 84 00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:03,826 In a minute, Dad. 85 00:04:03,868 --> 00:04:05,408 There's an all-natural supplement 86 00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:07,413 that's proven to work. 87 00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:09,915 Saw palmetto berries. 88 00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:12,498 Pharmaceutical companies are desperate 89 00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:14,504 for these berries. 90 00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:17,626 But they only grow one place in the entire world. 91 00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:18,884 Oh, shit! 92 00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:21,215 - What was that? - Is that an iguana? 93 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,561 - Where did it come from? 94 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,563 It's 'cause of the cold. 95 00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:34,364 They get stunned and start falling out of trees. 96 00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:37,399 Toss him in a bush. He'll warm up eventually. 97 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:42,717 You wanna go ahead and grab that for me? 98 00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:45,911 I don't love reptiles... Lizards, snakes, skinks. 99 00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,638 - What's a skink? - I don't know what a skink is. 100 00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:49,473 I'm not gonna look that shit up and scare myself. 101 00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:51,117 Well, I'm not touching that. 102 00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:53,246 Ugh. I'ma try the wipers. 103 00:04:57,672 --> 00:04:59,382 Ugh! 104 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,112 Damn it. 105 00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:26,905 It wasn't that big a deal. 106 00:05:26,951 --> 00:05:28,951 That's 'cause you refused to touch it, Nessa. 107 00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:32,832 Hey, Camille. 108 00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:35,004 Marco. 109 00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:36,543 Thank you for taking her. 110 00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:38,046 I have to be in early 111 00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:40,218 because I'm actually applying for a business loan. 112 00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:41,626 So I bought this suit. 113 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,194 Fits so nice, it looks like it was painted on. 114 00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:48,388 - Yeah? Good. - That's what I was going for. 115 00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:50,931 Oh, you just gonna walk away? Now you can't read my lips. 116 00:05:50,975 --> 00:05:53,645 Boy, that Marco's sure gained some weight, hasn't he? 117 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,107 He's calling me fat again. 118 00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:56,436 This is family time, Marco. 119 00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:58,531 You don't need to be here. 120 00:05:58,566 --> 00:05:59,627 Good luck at your meeting, Dad. 121 00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:00,571 Thank you, baby. 122 00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:16,248 Craig, wow! 123 00:06:16,292 --> 00:06:18,342 I barely recognize you out of your guard uniform. 124 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,748 Love the suit. 125 00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:21,876 I want you to know how serious I am about this. 126 00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:24,513 - Can I just start? - Oh. Okay. 127 00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,851 - All business. 128 00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,517 It's 4:00 a.m. 129 00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:34,559 Miami is asleep. 130 00:06:34,602 --> 00:06:37,022 I'm wide awake. Why? 131 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,483 Am I out at the club? 132 00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:40,363 Do I rise with the European markets? 133 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,650 No. I just really have to pee... 134 00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:45,034 Wait, is this a pitch? 135 00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:47,531 - Are you applying for a loan? - Yeah. 136 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:48,834 I told Monica. Did she not... 137 00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:50,175 She just said you were coming in. 138 00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:56,498 I thought it was about me going as Shaq for Halloween. 139 00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:57,791 Why would I wanna come in early 140 00:06:57,834 --> 00:06:59,044 to talk to you about that? 141 00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:01,125 Somebody wrote a letter to corporate 142 00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:04,341 saying they were offended, and I assumed it was you, 143 00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:05,762 since you're the only... 144 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:13,182 Person I hadn't asked about it yet. 145 00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:14,854 - It wasn't me. - Because you're cool. 146 00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:17,063 And for the record, I wasn't in black face. 147 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,523 I had makeup on my arms and chest. 148 00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:21,484 But the face was a mask. 149 00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,324 I'm not stupid. 150 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:26,030 - I know the rules. - Okay, so 151 00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:27,701 - can I still do my pitch? - Of course. 152 00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:29,989 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's hear it. 153 00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:31,453 It's 4:00 a.m. 154 00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:33,413 Miami is asleep. 155 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:34,453 Me? I'm wide awake... 156 00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:36,746 The whole thing is just so crazy. 157 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:39,710 I'm one of the least racist people you'll ever meet. 158 00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:44,093 Sorry, go on. 159 00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:46,470 So why am I awake? 160 00:07:46,508 --> 00:07:47,628 Am I out at the clubs? 161 00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,426 I'm an advocate for Black people. 162 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,599 I hired you and Gloria. 163 00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:54,678 - Gloria's not Black. - Well, she's something. 164 00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,441 Do I rise with the European markets... 165 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,609 I just gotta tell you, 166 00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:03,687 my favorite actor is Jamie Foxx. 167 00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:07,241 I don't think you're racist, Mr. Franks. 168 00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:09,738 Thanks. Thank you. 169 00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:12,951 It's so important to me that you know that 170 00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:15,292 because I can't give you a loan. 171 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:18,288 Our default rate with borrowers from the Black community 172 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,211 is just too high. 173 00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:27,716 What is your favorite Jamie Foxx movie? 174 00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:29,047 Mine's "Ray." 175 00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:33,474 So dope. 176 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:34,723 I can't believe that shit. 177 00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,474 I mean, whose favorite movie is "Ray"? 178 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:37,806 That's not what I meant, Isaiah. 179 00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,851 I worked on that presentation for over a year. 180 00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:41,314 Yeah, well, bosses are dicks. 181 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,194 That's why I'm self-employed. 182 00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:44,401 Self-employed doing what? 183 00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:47,151 Doin' well enough to afford the new Kobes. 184 00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:48,323 Pow! 185 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,571 - You didn't answer the question. 186 00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:52,533 Because I'm being intentionally vague. 187 00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:54,164 Damn. 188 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,886 Learn to allow a little mystery in your life. 189 00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:58,500 Maybe I'm looking at this all wrong. 190 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,766 - You know what Rita Gaines says? - Who the fuck is Rita Gaines? 191 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:03,000 - Famous entrepreneur. - She was on "Shark Tank." 192 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,293 And she says, 193 00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:07,546 "Every red light turns green eventually." 194 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:11,840 That's dumb as shit. 195 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,425 Look, I'm saying this as your brother. 196 00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:15,350 This is your life, Cregory. 197 00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,928 - You gotta take action. - What kind of action? 198 00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:19,354 As soon as this lunch is over, 199 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,953 I want you to walk into that guy's office, 200 00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:22,847 shut the door, and don't leave 201 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,516 until he agrees to listen to your pitch... 202 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,444 The entire pitch. 203 00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:29,033 - Fuck it. You're right. - Goddamn right, I'm right! 204 00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,449 I've worked there over six years. 205 00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:32,048 - Six fucking years. - They can give me ten minutes. 206 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,992 - He can give you 20. - He can give me 20. 207 00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:35,412 - 20 grand. - 20 grand! 208 00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:36,700 That's what the fuck 209 00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:39,543 I'm talkin' bout, Cre-gor-y! 210 00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:46,416 What's up? Do we have a... 211 00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:49,051 Mr. Franks, I need $20,000 for a down payment 212 00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:51,759 on a piece of swampland, where I'm gonna grow 213 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,680 saw palmetto berries and make a fuck ton of money. 214 00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:55,905 Did you know that most older men 215 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,599 suffer from enlarged prostates? 216 00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:59,719 Well, these berries shrink the prostate, 217 00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:02,766 improve urination, enhance hair growth, 218 00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:04,101 and boost libido. 219 00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:06,645 Pharmaceutical companies are desperate for them, 220 00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:08,780 but they only grow one place in the world: 221 00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:10,067 Coastal Flor... 222 00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:13,662 Everybody down! 223 00:10:13,697 --> 00:10:15,317 Down on the ground! 224 00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:16,735 We don't need no heroes. 225 00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,302 I don't wanna put no bullets in the body. 226 00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:20,246 - Nobody move, nobody gets hu... 227 00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:22,749 I'm okay. 228 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:24,016 - Go and hit the alarm. 229 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,059 - But he's out there. 230 00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,333 So what are you doing in here? 231 00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:27,916 I was... my pitch! 232 00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,421 - Your gun's not even out. 233 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,593 - Oh, shit, I forgot I had it. - All right! 234 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,512 You know what time it is. Give me that gun. 235 00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:35,801 Pass the pistol. 236 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,100 Son of a bitch. 237 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:46,403 - What? 238 00:10:46,438 --> 00:10:48,608 I have no idea what you talkin' about. 239 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:51,358 Oh, oh, you think all this cash is from a bank robbery. 240 00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:52,491 It's not. 241 00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:54,447 Crazy story... 242 00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:58,698 - I just found it. - You know I got fired, right? 243 00:10:58,742 --> 00:11:00,042 I lost my job 'cause of you! 244 00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,406 No, you lost your job 245 00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:02,805 'cause you weren't where you were supposed to be. 246 00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,098 'Cause you told me to go in the manager's office 247 00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,332 and shut the door. 248 00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:06,423 That's on you! 249 00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:07,958 You shouldn't be taking advice from me. 250 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,211 I'm a known lowlife. Take me and Dame. 251 00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:12,423 He thinks I should get golden contact lenses, 252 00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,974 but I'm ignoring him because that man is trash. 253 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,193 They make you look like a wizard. 254 00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:17,717 They make you bump into shit. 255 00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:19,301 - What happened to you, Zay? - Huh? 256 00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:20,966 I knew about the scams and the fraud, 257 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,474 but armed robbery? 258 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:23,975 Seriously? 259 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:27,227 Dad would be ashamed. 260 00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:29,520 You're a disgrace to his name. 261 00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:32,317 Hey, Dame, give us a second. 262 00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:33,819 Oh, yeah, no doubt. No doubt. 263 00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:34,900 No doubt. Shit. 264 00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,614 Oh, sh... 265 00:11:37,906 --> 00:11:40,486 Ow. Fuck. My bad, man. 266 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:43,913 I... I'll fix that later, you know what I'm sayin'? 267 00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:45,503 Fuck with your periphery and shit. 268 00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,498 My bad, man. 269 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:48,710 That dude's a fool. 270 00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:50,394 You see him fall off the counter in the bank? 271 00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:54,088 So I need a new partner. You're unemployed. 272 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,399 That's what you wanted to talk about? 273 00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:56,901 Yeah, why you think I sent Dame out the room? 274 00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:58,005 Because I touched a nerve 275 00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,236 with the stuff I said about Dad? 276 00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:01,180 Oh. No, no. No, no. 277 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:02,761 That didn't affect me at all. 278 00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:05,306 'Cause you know who was a disgrace to Dad's name? 279 00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:06,520 Dad. 280 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:09,019 He achieved nothing. He ain't own nothing. 281 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,362 He died with nothing. 282 00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,978 But I did you dirty. Here's 20 grand. 283 00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:16,355 Go buy yourself some swampland. Grow your damn dick berries. 284 00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:17,653 Keep it. 285 00:12:17,696 --> 00:12:21,026 I'll get my loan, and I'll do it the right way. 286 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,954 All right, Rita. Let's go. 287 00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:26,043 Power and glory. 288 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,159 It's 4:00 a.m. and Miami is asleep. 289 00:12:28,206 --> 00:12:29,866 But me? I'm wide awake. 290 00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:31,876 Why? Am I out at the clubs? 291 00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,628 Do I rise with the European markets? 292 00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:35,800 No. I just really have to pee. 293 00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:37,419 This is an all-too-familiar story 294 00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:40,635 for a man of 40, 50, or even 60. 295 00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:43,717 You're suffering from benign pro static hyperplasia. 296 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,023 In other words, 297 00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:46,976 you have an enlarged prostate, sir. 298 00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:51,437 What's your favorite Jamie Foxx movie? 299 00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:52,689 E-excuse me? 300 00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:54,571 My favorite of his, definitely "Collateral." 301 00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,937 - You know what he's great in? - The new "Annie." 302 00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:58,695 "Django" is fucking rad. 303 00:12:58,737 --> 00:13:01,317 They should teach that shit in schools. 304 00:13:02,657 --> 00:13:04,577 Bathroom is here. Towels are clean. 305 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:05,827 What else? 306 00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:08,829 Uh, don't tell anyone I'm renting my place. 307 00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:10,422 It's not really allowed. 308 00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,417 Oh. Just here visiting family. 309 00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:14,089 I don't even think I'll be around much. 310 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:15,547 Okay, cool. 311 00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:19,167 Well, I gotta get to the airport. 312 00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:20,925 I'm going to New York for a business meeting. 313 00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,236 - Right on, man. - Enjoy the Big Apple. 314 00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:23,600 - All right. - All right. 315 00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:09,933 - What the hell? 316 00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:11,144 Hey! 317 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,564 Hey, what y'all doin' here? 318 00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:19,982 Uh, yeah, I remember. 319 00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:22,066 Why do you think I'm at the car already? 320 00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,073 Pfft. Am I living in here? 321 00:14:25,115 --> 00:14:27,325 What, a man can't cook breakfast in his own car 322 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,037 without living in it? 323 00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:32,624 I have a friend in town. 324 00:14:32,664 --> 00:14:34,124 I gave him my bed. Damn. 325 00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:36,415 Oh, shoot! Phone call. 326 00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:38,089 Gotta cut this conversation short. 327 00:14:38,128 --> 00:14:40,918 I will take Vanessa to school, though. 328 00:14:40,964 --> 00:14:42,344 Oh, shit, it's a loan officer. 329 00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,512 Foster Group. Craig Foster speaking. 330 00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:45,971 Hi, my name is Donald Assarian. 331 00:14:46,011 --> 00:14:47,391 I'm from First Florida Federated. 332 00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:49,031 - Hello, Mr. Assarian. - How can I help you? 333 00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:51,805 I came across your application on my boss' desk. 334 00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:54,020 He wasn't interested because you're... 335 00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:55,400 Well, the point is, 336 00:14:55,437 --> 00:14:56,789 I think it's an interesting proposal. 337 00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:58,403 Any chance you could take me by 338 00:14:58,440 --> 00:14:59,667 to see the plot you're looking at? 339 00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:01,321 - Absolutely. - What's a good time for you? 340 00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:02,939 Could you meet me there in an hour? 341 00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:05,066 - Perfect. - Yes, I'll see you there. 342 00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:06,873 Thank you so much, Mr. Assarian. 343 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:07,946 Are you getting the loan? 344 00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:10,411 - I'm getting the loan! 345 00:15:10,452 --> 00:15:11,582 Well, it's not for sure yet. 346 00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:13,289 He's gotta see the property first. 347 00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:14,539 Oh. My suit. 348 00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,041 I gotta get my special suit. 349 00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,502 Yo, sorry I can't take Vanessa. 350 00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:19,585 I know. 351 00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:21,798 I know. I know. I know. 352 00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:23,774 But this is the moment my life has been building up to. 353 00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:25,008 It's my dream. 354 00:15:25,050 --> 00:15:27,390 And it's the only way I can make it happen. 355 00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,385 I wanted to help grieving families 356 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,523 cover the myriad costs of burying a pet. 357 00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:39,064 That was a good idea. 358 00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:40,765 Until everybody got smart phones. 359 00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:41,935 It's all the same! 360 00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:44,193 It's one dream. It's one fucking dream. 361 00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:49,699 I'm sorry. 362 00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:52,201 But I really think this is the one. 363 00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:58,422 Also, since you followed me in here, 364 00:15:58,458 --> 00:15:59,828 I do not have a friend over. 365 00:15:59,876 --> 00:16:01,206 That was obviously a lie. 366 00:16:01,252 --> 00:16:02,422 I'm making some extra money 367 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,001 by renting my apartment out to strangers. 368 00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:10,104 I never, ever do this when Vanessa's here, okay? 369 00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:11,886 I swear to you, Camille. 370 00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:14,770 Also, this guy is cool. I'm a great judge of character. 371 00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:16,268 I'm not just gonna let anybody up in 372 00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,019 What the fuck? 373 00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:19,731 What the fuck? 374 00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:20,771 The fuck? 375 00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:29,356 I know. 376 00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:31,834 I know. 377 00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:36,293 Hey. 378 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,039 I'm sorry. 379 00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:40,291 I'm embarrassed. 380 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,463 I'm sorry. 381 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,063 But everything's gonna be different after today. 382 00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:45,297 I'ma get this loan. 383 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:47,218 It's all gonna be different. I promise. 384 00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:49,177 But right now, I gotta go. Okay? 385 00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:50,967 I can't miss this. This... 386 00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:52,301 Shit! 387 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,305 My sausages! 388 00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,137 I called the fire department. 389 00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:59,022 Good, good. That was smart. 390 00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:01,440 So can you take me... 391 00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:07,362 Right, let's go. 392 00:17:07,402 --> 00:17:10,662 - Uber, yeah. That's a good idea. 393 00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:12,277 Ah, come on. Come on. Come on. 394 00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:14,663 Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. 395 00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:17,831 Jillian G. Mercedes Benz. 396 00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,763 Craig? 397 00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:34,011 - Yeah. - Hey. I'm Jillian. 398 00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:36,184 This is my Mercedes! 399 00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:47,361 You don't have to worry. 400 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,030 I'm not one of those weird Uber drivers 401 00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:50,149 that doesn't talk. 402 00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:51,775 Kay. 403 00:17:54,157 --> 00:17:56,237 Are you from around here? 404 00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:58,414 - Yes. - I'm from Australia. 405 00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:03,415 Have you ever seen the movie "Grease"? 406 00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:06,840 Yeah. 407 00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:08,798 Well, here's a little secret for you. 408 00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:12,258 Olivia Newton-John is from Australia. 409 00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:14,893 Sandy? 410 00:18:17,222 --> 00:18:18,312 She played Sandy. 411 00:18:18,348 --> 00:18:19,388 - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. 412 00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:20,701 I know who you're talking about. 413 00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:22,805 Have you ever heard of Nicole Kidman? 414 00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:25,539 - Oh, I'm sorry. - I gotta take this. 415 00:18:25,563 --> 00:18:27,233 She's Australian too. 416 00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:28,273 What? 417 00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:30,686 No "hello"? I see how it is. 418 00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:32,755 Well, you're about to feel real bad about being a dick 419 00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,489 because I'm calling to offer you a job. 420 00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:36,571 What kind of job? A legal job? 421 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:37,802 That's a good question, Cregory. 422 00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:40,286 Let me run it up the ladder to my HR guy. 423 00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:42,078 Get Dame to do it. 424 00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:43,872 Nah, he's unavailable. 425 00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:45,535 He had a little mishap on account of those 426 00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:46,753 dumb-ass wizard lenses. 427 00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:50,523 Look, man, I'm just trying to do your poor ass a favor. 428 00:18:50,547 --> 00:18:51,899 - Just let me know if you're in. - I'm not in. 429 00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:54,303 My poor ass doesn't need any favors. 430 00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:56,392 As it so happens, I'm on my way 431 00:18:56,428 --> 00:18:58,968 to a business meeting right now. 432 00:18:59,014 --> 00:19:01,064 So thank you, 433 00:19:01,099 --> 00:19:02,349 and go fuck yourself. 434 00:19:02,392 --> 00:19:03,953 Just call me after when it doesn't work out. 435 00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,347 Go fuck yourself. 436 00:19:08,231 --> 00:19:10,151 You're a businessman. 437 00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:11,861 Very cool. 438 00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:14,571 My father moved here to be a businessman. 439 00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:16,452 And then he died. 440 00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:18,159 - Sorry to hear that. - It's all right. 441 00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:22,829 It was sort of the best age to lose your dad... 442 00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:25,541 As a teenager. 443 00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:28,252 So what's this big meeting? 444 00:19:28,293 --> 00:19:29,755 - I'm trying to buy some land 445 00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:31,594 so I could start a saw palmetto farm. 446 00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:34,219 - It's complicated. - Wow. 447 00:19:34,257 --> 00:19:36,467 I wish I was good at business. 448 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:39,049 I'm way in debt, which is crazy, 449 00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:40,715 because I have so many jobs. 450 00:19:40,764 --> 00:19:43,564 I Uber. I Lyft. I TaskRabbit. 451 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,440 I get paid by creeps online to watch me eat bananas. 452 00:19:46,478 --> 00:19:48,608 I do a little elder care... Oh, shit! 453 00:19:48,646 --> 00:19:50,516 What? Wh-wh-what? 454 00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:54,962 Sorry, I just have to do one thing real quick. 455 00:19:54,986 --> 00:19:56,316 - No, I have a meeting. - I know. 456 00:19:56,363 --> 00:19:57,465 But this will just take one second. 457 00:19:57,489 --> 00:19:58,569 - Please? 458 00:19:58,615 --> 00:19:59,985 - Pretty please? - Fine, fine, fine. 459 00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:01,033 Great. 460 00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:03,872 What's the hammer for? 461 00:20:03,912 --> 00:20:06,042 Hammering. Be right back. 462 00:20:22,013 --> 00:20:24,353 What the fuck? 463 00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:34,395 Nearly done! Just wrapping up! 464 00:20:34,442 --> 00:20:36,532 Oh, shit! Fuck you! Ah! 465 00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:39,109 - Oh, shit! - Ah! 466 00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:44,038 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! 467 00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:46,157 Hey, I'm just gonna get another Uber. 468 00:20:46,204 --> 00:20:48,044 No, no, no. I'm done! 469 00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:49,751 I'm done. 470 00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,553 Would you mind sliding down a tad? 471 00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:04,965 I'm gonna need a little room for this guy. 472 00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:07,515 - No, no, no, no, no, no! 473 00:21:07,559 --> 00:21:10,729 No! No! No! 474 00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:17,068 So you're probably wondering about the snake. 475 00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:19,240 Yeah, I'm wondering about the fucking snake. 476 00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:21,659 That's exactly what I'm wondering about, Jillian G. 477 00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:22,925 It's all completely above board. 478 00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:25,409 The state of Florida pays me to do this job. 479 00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:26,752 Check it out. I've got a pamphlet. 480 00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:31,248 Ten years ago, there was a trend for people 481 00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:33,211 to get Burmese pythons as pets. 482 00:21:33,251 --> 00:21:34,841 They start out really cute. 483 00:21:34,878 --> 00:21:36,838 - That can't be true. - It is. 484 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:38,130 But then they got too big, 485 00:21:38,173 --> 00:21:40,133 so everyone drove their snakes out to the swamps 486 00:21:40,175 --> 00:21:42,835 and set them free, but they're not from here, 487 00:21:42,886 --> 00:21:45,506 so nothing eats them, but they eat everything. 488 00:21:45,555 --> 00:21:46,595 - Birds... - Okay. 489 00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:47,929 - Alligators... - Damn. 490 00:21:47,974 --> 00:21:49,564 - Even other snakes. - Nasty. 491 00:21:49,601 --> 00:21:51,351 It's an ecological disaster. 492 00:21:51,394 --> 00:21:53,984 So the state pays removal agents 493 00:21:54,022 --> 00:21:56,942 100 bucks for every dead python we bring in. 494 00:21:56,983 --> 00:21:59,283 It's a quick and easy way to earn some extra cash. 495 00:21:59,319 --> 00:22:00,569 Didn't seem easy. 496 00:22:00,612 --> 00:22:02,381 - They're not poisonous. - They're really slow. 497 00:22:02,405 --> 00:22:03,565 They're like big hot dogs 498 00:22:03,615 --> 00:22:05,775 that can bite you or squeeze you to death. 499 00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:09,285 But also, they can kind of smile. 500 00:22:09,329 --> 00:22:12,499 You know, this has been very informative and all that, 501 00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:14,170 but you think we... hey! 502 00:22:14,209 --> 00:22:15,629 Hey! It's alive! 503 00:22:15,669 --> 00:22:16,771 You didn't kill it! 504 00:22:16,795 --> 00:22:17,795 - Shit! - Okay. 505 00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:18,917 - Okay, okay. 506 00:22:18,963 --> 00:22:20,343 - Fuck! - Stay calm! Just remember! 507 00:22:20,382 --> 00:22:21,762 It's more scared than you are! 508 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:23,569 That motherfucker's not scared at all! 509 00:22:23,593 --> 00:22:24,803 That must be the brain damage. 510 00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:26,474 Sometimes they lose all sense of reason. 511 00:22:26,513 --> 00:22:28,143 - Grab its neck! 512 00:22:28,181 --> 00:22:29,450 - That doesn't help. - It's all neck! 513 00:22:31,351 --> 00:22:33,401 Shit! Shit! 514 00:22:33,436 --> 00:22:34,686 - Get off me! 515 00:22:34,729 --> 00:22:36,109 - Hold on. Hold on. - Get off me! 516 00:22:36,147 --> 00:22:37,397 - Ow! - Sorry! 517 00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:38,480 Sorry! 518 00:22:38,525 --> 00:22:39,525 - Ow! - Sorry! 519 00:22:39,567 --> 00:22:42,607 - Shit! 520 00:22:42,654 --> 00:22:44,414 - Ow, shit! 521 00:22:44,447 --> 00:22:46,237 - Watch the road! 522 00:22:46,282 --> 00:22:48,662 - The window won't kill it! 523 00:22:48,702 --> 00:22:51,042 - Shit! - Oh, shit! 524 00:23:02,382 --> 00:23:06,512 Okay, so I kind of feel like I owe you an apology. 525 00:23:06,553 --> 00:23:07,763 You were right. 526 00:23:07,804 --> 00:23:09,934 The window thing worked. You killed the snake! 527 00:23:09,973 --> 00:23:12,393 That's not what you should be apologizing for, Jillian G. 528 00:23:12,434 --> 00:23:14,104 What do you think I should be sorry about? 529 00:23:14,144 --> 00:23:15,314 Everything! 530 00:23:15,353 --> 00:23:17,653 The generalities of this whole situation. 531 00:23:17,689 --> 00:23:21,399 Okay, but the window thing was super smart. 532 00:23:21,443 --> 00:23:24,033 So many people overlook the cerebral aspect 533 00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:25,950 of snake-killing. 534 00:23:25,989 --> 00:23:28,619 Hey, would you ever wanna team up? 535 00:23:28,658 --> 00:23:30,538 Your brains, my hammer? 536 00:23:30,577 --> 00:23:33,037 I just wanna get to my meeting. 537 00:23:33,079 --> 00:23:34,209 Does your car still drive? 538 00:23:34,247 --> 00:23:35,867 Oh, yeah, for sure. 539 00:23:35,915 --> 00:23:38,745 I'll just throw it in reverse and get you there in no time. 540 00:23:38,793 --> 00:23:40,463 My special suit. 541 00:23:40,503 --> 00:23:41,963 I can't show up looking like this. 542 00:23:42,005 --> 00:23:43,255 Not a problem. 543 00:23:43,298 --> 00:23:45,298 I have clothes you could change into. 544 00:23:48,511 --> 00:23:50,721 - Do you live in there? - Yeah, it's great. 545 00:23:50,764 --> 00:23:52,104 I got a bed. 546 00:23:52,140 --> 00:23:54,390 I got a couple garbage bags with my things. 547 00:23:56,144 --> 00:23:57,104 That's pretty much it. 548 00:23:57,145 --> 00:23:58,435 Where do you go to the bathroom? 549 00:23:58,480 --> 00:23:59,360 Starbucks. 550 00:23:59,397 --> 00:24:00,727 - It's actually awesome. - It is? 551 00:24:00,774 --> 00:24:02,904 Does your bathroom get cleaned twice a day? 552 00:24:02,942 --> 00:24:05,202 Look, this is very nice and more than a little bleak, 553 00:24:05,236 --> 00:24:06,672 but I don't think you have anything in there 554 00:24:06,696 --> 00:24:08,026 that'll fit me. 555 00:24:08,073 --> 00:24:11,333 Oh, really? 556 00:24:13,203 --> 00:24:15,503 - What the hell is that? - My graduation gown. 557 00:24:15,538 --> 00:24:17,998 Florida School of Excellence, class of '07. 558 00:24:18,041 --> 00:24:19,711 Go Titties! 559 00:24:19,751 --> 00:24:21,131 The old mascot was racist, 560 00:24:21,169 --> 00:24:23,549 so they let the students vote on a new one. 561 00:24:28,009 --> 00:24:30,599 That color does really pop on you. 562 00:24:30,637 --> 00:24:32,637 Quick tip, though... Stay in the shade 563 00:24:32,681 --> 00:24:34,391 because that fabric melts in the sun 564 00:24:34,432 --> 00:24:36,482 and it will burn your skin. 565 00:24:51,866 --> 00:24:54,576 Mr. Assarian. 566 00:24:54,619 --> 00:24:55,789 I'm Craig. 567 00:24:59,082 --> 00:25:00,252 - What are you wearing? - This? 568 00:25:00,291 --> 00:25:02,211 Oh, it's a, uh 569 00:25:02,252 --> 00:25:03,502 it's a gown. 570 00:25:03,545 --> 00:25:05,755 Standard business casual gown. 571 00:25:05,797 --> 00:25:07,717 Look, I have a presentation for you, okay? 572 00:25:07,757 --> 00:25:09,047 - Yeah. - Okay. 573 00:25:10,719 --> 00:25:12,009 It's 4:00 a.m. 574 00:25:12,053 --> 00:25:13,683 Miami is asleep. 575 00:25:13,722 --> 00:25:16,982 But I'm wide awake. Why? Am I out at the clubs? 576 00:25:17,017 --> 00:25:18,807 Do I rise with the European markets? 577 00:25:18,852 --> 00:25:20,192 No. 578 00:25:20,228 --> 00:25:21,858 I just really have to pee. 579 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:27,530 This is a all-too-familiar-story 580 00:25:27,569 --> 00:25:31,409 for a man of over 40, 50, or even 60. 581 00:25:33,533 --> 00:25:35,043 What's the deal? 582 00:25:35,076 --> 00:25:37,286 What's, uh, the deal? 583 00:25:40,915 --> 00:25:42,535 Okay. 584 00:25:42,584 --> 00:25:44,384 Look, I know this seems crazy. 585 00:25:44,419 --> 00:25:47,669 I'm late. I show up in a billboard. 586 00:25:47,714 --> 00:25:50,054 When I was a kid, my dad told me 587 00:25:50,091 --> 00:25:52,931 if I worked hard, I could make it. 588 00:25:52,969 --> 00:25:54,849 I could become rich. 589 00:25:56,348 --> 00:25:57,638 "It won't be easy," he said, 590 00:25:57,682 --> 00:26:02,192 "but you just gotta have faith." 591 00:26:02,228 --> 00:26:04,228 And then he died. 592 00:26:04,272 --> 00:26:08,192 He wasn't rich. He wasn't anything. 593 00:26:08,234 --> 00:26:10,404 But I carried on his dream. 594 00:26:10,445 --> 00:26:12,315 I just thought that, 595 00:26:12,364 --> 00:26:16,374 you know, if I could prove him right, 596 00:26:16,409 --> 00:26:19,079 then his life would've meant something. 597 00:26:19,120 --> 00:26:21,410 His death would've meant something. 598 00:26:21,456 --> 00:26:26,206 And I waited and I worked through setback after setback, 599 00:26:26,252 --> 00:26:28,382 and it's just getting so damn hard. 600 00:26:28,421 --> 00:26:30,631 And I just wanted a sign... 601 00:26:30,674 --> 00:26:33,644 Anything to tell me to keep going. 602 00:26:33,677 --> 00:26:36,717 So when you called this morning out of nowhere, 603 00:26:36,763 --> 00:26:38,813 that's what I'd been waiting for. 604 00:26:38,848 --> 00:26:40,678 It was like the heavens opened up 605 00:26:40,725 --> 00:26:43,095 and I could hear the angels singing. 606 00:26:43,144 --> 00:26:45,774 So now, if you say no, 607 00:26:45,814 --> 00:26:49,904 it's not just that I won't get to start my new business. 608 00:26:49,943 --> 00:26:54,203 This is everything I've ever believed in. 609 00:26:54,239 --> 00:26:56,199 So I'm asking you, 610 00:26:56,241 --> 00:26:58,951 please, 611 00:26:58,993 --> 00:27:00,663 reward my faith. 612 00:27:03,123 --> 00:27:05,713 Fuck him. That guy's a dick. 613 00:27:10,422 --> 00:27:12,672 Do you mind if we make a quick pit stop? 614 00:27:14,509 --> 00:27:16,679 I feel like I'm going above and beyond here 615 00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,640 in my role as Uber passenger. 616 00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,310 Okay, I didn't wanna ruin the surprise, 617 00:27:21,349 --> 00:27:24,139 but I'm gonna give you the 100 bucks 618 00:27:24,185 --> 00:27:25,685 to invest in your business. 619 00:27:25,729 --> 00:27:27,059 What? Why? 620 00:27:27,105 --> 00:27:29,435 Do you know why my graduation gown wasn't melted? 621 00:27:29,482 --> 00:27:30,543 I assumed because you were 622 00:27:30,567 --> 00:27:31,669 sittin' in the shade or whatever. 623 00:27:31,693 --> 00:27:33,613 There's no shade 624 00:27:33,653 --> 00:27:36,073 at the Florida School of Excellence. 625 00:27:36,114 --> 00:27:39,204 Wake up, man! I didn't graduate. 626 00:27:39,242 --> 00:27:41,832 Remember when I said 16 was a good age 627 00:27:41,870 --> 00:27:43,540 to have your dad die? 628 00:27:43,580 --> 00:27:45,670 It wasn't. I tricked you. 629 00:27:45,707 --> 00:27:47,997 I kind of stopped going to school after that... 630 00:27:48,043 --> 00:27:50,923 Stopped really doing anything. 631 00:27:50,962 --> 00:27:53,342 Things have been tough since then, and I don't know, 632 00:27:53,381 --> 00:27:56,051 I just don't like to see anyone else give up. 633 00:27:56,092 --> 00:27:57,472 Well, I appreciate it, Jillian G, 634 00:27:57,510 --> 00:27:59,220 but 100 bucks ain't gonna do shit for me. 635 00:27:59,262 --> 00:28:01,682 - It might be 110. - They pay by the foot. 636 00:28:01,723 --> 00:28:03,813 So if you pull the skin away from the meat... 637 00:28:03,850 --> 00:28:05,690 I need $20,000. 638 00:28:05,727 --> 00:28:09,017 Okay? So keep your money. 639 00:28:09,064 --> 00:28:10,444 I'm done. 640 00:28:12,150 --> 00:28:13,530 Okay. 641 00:28:13,568 --> 00:28:16,318 Well, I guess I better go find someone else 642 00:28:16,363 --> 00:28:18,073 - to help me with this, then. - Yeah. 643 00:28:24,371 --> 00:28:25,501 Hey. 644 00:28:25,538 --> 00:28:27,118 How'd the big business meeting go? 645 00:28:27,165 --> 00:28:28,665 You swimmin' in dick berries? 646 00:28:28,708 --> 00:28:30,958 No. Look. 647 00:28:31,002 --> 00:28:34,092 I'm calling to see if you still have that 648 00:28:34,130 --> 00:28:35,720 job opening available for me. 649 00:28:35,757 --> 00:28:38,387 - The illegal one? - The crime I'm doing? 650 00:28:38,426 --> 00:28:39,862 I thought we were being cagey about this. 651 00:28:39,886 --> 00:28:42,006 Oh, no, that was before I had a chance 652 00:28:42,055 --> 00:28:44,215 to rub your moral downfall in your face. 653 00:28:44,265 --> 00:28:45,925 It's not a moral downfall. 654 00:28:45,975 --> 00:28:47,185 Oh, it is. 655 00:28:47,227 --> 00:28:49,557 We're gonna do such fucked up stuff together. 656 00:28:49,604 --> 00:28:51,984 Hey, you think you're in my head? 657 00:28:53,942 --> 00:28:57,822 I know what you're doing... Standin' out here. 658 00:28:57,862 --> 00:28:58,952 It ain't gonna work. 659 00:28:58,988 --> 00:29:00,341 What the fuck are you talkin' about? 660 00:29:00,365 --> 00:29:01,425 Oh, you think we're gonna be intimidated 661 00:29:01,449 --> 00:29:02,829 'cause you got a 14-footer? 662 00:29:02,867 --> 00:29:04,136 Think that makes you the favorite? 663 00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:05,750 Well, guess what? 664 00:29:05,787 --> 00:29:08,917 My boy and I are gonna eat your fucking ass. 665 00:29:08,957 --> 00:29:10,497 Dad. 666 00:29:10,542 --> 00:29:13,592 Yeah, we're gonna be eatin' out on your ass all day long. 667 00:29:13,628 --> 00:29:16,418 - Dad! - What, Corby? 668 00:29:16,464 --> 00:29:17,594 What? 669 00:29:17,632 --> 00:29:19,592 We're gonna eat his ass? 670 00:29:19,634 --> 00:29:21,054 Yeah, well, we're gonna... 671 00:29:21,094 --> 00:29:23,197 We're gonna kick his ass... You know what I meant, okay? 672 00:29:23,221 --> 00:29:24,561 Boy, I'm havin' a showdown here. 673 00:29:24,597 --> 00:29:26,387 A man's showdown. Don't undermine me. 674 00:29:26,433 --> 00:29:28,353 Um, sorry, excuse me. 675 00:29:28,393 --> 00:29:31,023 - What are you talkin' about? - The contest. 676 00:29:31,062 --> 00:29:32,612 The Florida Python Challenge. 677 00:29:32,647 --> 00:29:34,687 It starts tomorrow. 30 days. 678 00:29:34,733 --> 00:29:36,502 Whoever kills the most snakes gets a grand prize. 679 00:29:36,526 --> 00:29:38,776 - What kind of grand prize? - Cash. 680 00:29:38,820 --> 00:29:39,950 How much cash? 681 00:29:42,782 --> 00:29:44,532 $20,000. 682 00:29:48,163 --> 00:29:49,963 Zay, 683 00:29:49,998 --> 00:29:51,288 I gotta go. 684 00:31:20,714 --> 00:31:22,764 - Not a doctor. - Shh. 47660

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