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1
00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:23,111
I know what you're thinking.
2
00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:24,768
"This fucking guy," right?
3
00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:26,476
"Rich prick.
4
00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:28,736
"I mean, damn, that
kimono was made to be worn
5
00:00:28,778 --> 00:00:30,172
"for the highest-level
state functions
6
00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:31,446
"of the emperor of Japan,
7
00:00:31,489 --> 00:00:34,199
and he's just loungin'
around in that shit."
8
00:00:34,242 --> 00:00:36,162
Oh, look at that.
9
00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:38,832
Spilled some osso buco on it.
10
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,832
Oh, well.
11
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:45,495
But let me be clear about this.
12
00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:49,835
No one just hands
you a royal kimono.
13
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,223
Nah.
14
00:00:51,259 --> 00:00:54,049
I came from nothing.
15
00:00:54,095 --> 00:00:56,385
People wanna say the
American dream is dead.
16
00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:59,231
Well, that's bullshit,
17
00:00:59,267 --> 00:01:01,437
because the story I'm
about to tell you,
18
00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:03,438
my story,
19
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,020
is one that can only happen
20
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:09,566
in the U.S. of motherfucking A.
21
00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:14,987
Are you even listening
to me, Andrea?
22
00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,453
I thought you were on the phone.
23
00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:18,413
I'm inspiring you with
my personal journey.
24
00:01:18,453 --> 00:01:19,913
This is a big deal
for you, Andrea.
25
00:01:19,954 --> 00:01:21,414
Pay attention!
26
00:01:27,712 --> 00:01:28,962
Shut up.
27
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:35,350
Get your ass in the store.
28
00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:46,400
We were in here before.
29
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:48,319
We took some candy when
you weren't looking.
30
00:01:51,986 --> 00:01:53,736
- I'm sorry.
- Damn right, you sorry.
31
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:57,080
We are a family that
pays for what we get.
32
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,947
Okay. It's just 30ยข.
33
00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:01,503
Oh, uh, we can't pay for these.
34
00:02:01,538 --> 00:02:02,828
- It's not funny.
35
00:02:02,872 --> 00:02:05,422
You know I'm working
towards something, Isaiah.
36
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,788
Nobody succeeds overnight.
You gotta put the time in.
37
00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:08,836
Ask him.
38
00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:10,588
Was it easy opening
this place up?
39
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:12,170
- No.
- It took years of hard work.
40
00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:14,255
You see, boys? Years.
41
00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,930
You just gotta keep the faith.
42
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,430
Dad.
43
00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:19,851
- Dad!
- What?
44
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:22,814
We took more candy.
45
00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:26,806
Give him the candy.
46
00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:31,396
I'm proud of you, Craig.
47
00:02:33,361 --> 00:02:34,901
Fucking snitch.
48
00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:36,316
- Ah!
49
00:02:36,364 --> 00:02:38,124
What's the combination,
motherfucker?
50
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,408
Stop fucking stalling!
51
00:02:40,452 --> 00:02:42,332
- Be cool.
- I didn't see anything.
52
00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:51,625
So how did I get from there
53
00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:54,761
to the splendor and
opulence I now inhabit?
54
00:02:54,799 --> 00:02:57,179
Wait, are you crying? Don't cry.
55
00:02:57,218 --> 00:02:59,138
Oh, Mr. Craig, it's so sad.
56
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,197
It's not sad. It's inspiring.
57
00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:01,431
No, it is sad.
58
00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:02,723
Agree to disagree.
59
00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:04,306
I lost my cousin
when I was eight.
60
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:05,771
We're not talking
about that now.
61
00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:07,600
Andrea, this is a
uplifting interaction.
62
00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:09,105
Cancer.
63
00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,147
Andrea!
64
00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:19,164
It's 4:00 a.m. Miami is asleep.
65
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,029
But me, I'm wide awake. Why?
66
00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:22,656
Am I out at the clubs?
67
00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:24,832
Do I rise with the
European markets?
68
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,161
No.
69
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,826
I just really have to pee.
70
00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:32,499
Pause for laughter.
Pause for laughter.
71
00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:34,205
This is an
all-too-familiar story
72
00:03:34,255 --> 00:03:37,295
for a man of over
40, 50, or even 60.
73
00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:38,682
So what's the deal?
74
00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:40,388
Chances are, you're
suffering from
75
00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:42,678
benign pro static hyperplasia.
76
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:45,642
In other words, you have
an enlarged prostate, son.
77
00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:49,395
That's too Black.
That's too Black.
78
00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:52,517
In other words, you have
an enlarged prostate, sir.
79
00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:56,315
Frequent need, weak stream,
post-urination dribbling...
80
00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,821
This has to stop.
81
00:03:57,862 --> 00:03:59,162
But luckily...
82
00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:00,777
Nessa, up!
83
00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:02,802
I'm dropping you at your mom's.
I have to be at work early.
84
00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:03,826
In a minute, Dad.
85
00:04:03,868 --> 00:04:05,408
There's an
all-natural supplement
86
00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:07,413
that's proven to work.
87
00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:09,915
Saw palmetto berries.
88
00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:12,498
Pharmaceutical
companies are desperate
89
00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:14,504
for these berries.
90
00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:17,626
But they only grow one
place in the entire world.
91
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:18,884
Oh, shit!
92
00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:21,215
- What was that?
- Is that an iguana?
93
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,561
- Where did it come from?
94
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,563
It's 'cause of the cold.
95
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:34,364
They get stunned and start
falling out of trees.
96
00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:37,399
Toss him in a bush.
He'll warm up eventually.
97
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:42,717
You wanna go ahead
and grab that for me?
98
00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:45,911
I don't love reptiles...
Lizards, snakes, skinks.
99
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,638
- What's a skink?
- I don't know what a skink is.
100
00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:49,473
I'm not gonna look that
shit up and scare myself.
101
00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:51,117
Well, I'm not touching that.
102
00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:53,246
Ugh. I'ma try the wipers.
103
00:04:57,672 --> 00:04:59,382
Ugh!
104
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,112
Damn it.
105
00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:26,905
It wasn't that big a deal.
106
00:05:26,951 --> 00:05:28,951
That's 'cause you refused
to touch it, Nessa.
107
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:32,832
Hey, Camille.
108
00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:35,004
Marco.
109
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:36,543
Thank you for taking her.
110
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:38,046
I have to be in early
111
00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:40,218
because I'm actually
applying for a business loan.
112
00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:41,626
So I bought this suit.
113
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,194
Fits so nice, it looks
like it was painted on.
114
00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:48,388
- Yeah? Good.
- That's what I was going for.
115
00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:50,931
Oh, you just gonna walk away?
Now you can't read my lips.
116
00:05:50,975 --> 00:05:53,645
Boy, that Marco's sure gained
some weight, hasn't he?
117
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,107
He's calling me fat again.
118
00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:56,436
This is family time, Marco.
119
00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:58,531
You don't need to be here.
120
00:05:58,566 --> 00:05:59,627
Good luck at your meeting, Dad.
121
00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:00,571
Thank you, baby.
122
00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:16,248
Craig, wow!
123
00:06:16,292 --> 00:06:18,342
I barely recognize you
out of your guard uniform.
124
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,748
Love the suit.
125
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:21,876
I want you to know how
serious I am about this.
126
00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:24,513
- Can I just start?
- Oh. Okay.
127
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,851
- All business.
128
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,517
It's 4:00 a.m.
129
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:34,559
Miami is asleep.
130
00:06:34,602 --> 00:06:37,022
I'm wide awake. Why?
131
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,483
Am I out at the club?
132
00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:40,363
Do I rise with the
European markets?
133
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,650
No. I just really have to pee...
134
00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:45,034
Wait, is this a pitch?
135
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:47,531
- Are you applying for a loan?
- Yeah.
136
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:48,834
I told Monica. Did she not...
137
00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:50,175
She just said you
were coming in.
138
00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:56,498
I thought it was about me
going as Shaq for Halloween.
139
00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:57,791
Why would I wanna come in early
140
00:06:57,834 --> 00:06:59,044
to talk to you about that?
141
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:01,125
Somebody wrote a
letter to corporate
142
00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:04,341
saying they were offended,
and I assumed it was you,
143
00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:05,762
since you're the only...
144
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:13,182
Person I hadn't
asked about it yet.
145
00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:14,854
- It wasn't me.
- Because you're cool.
146
00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:17,063
And for the record, I
wasn't in black face.
147
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,523
I had makeup on
my arms and chest.
148
00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:21,484
But the face was a mask.
149
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,324
I'm not stupid.
150
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:26,030
- I know the rules.
- Okay, so
151
00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:27,701
- can I still do my pitch?
- Of course.
152
00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:29,989
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's hear it.
153
00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:31,453
It's 4:00 a.m.
154
00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:33,413
Miami is asleep.
155
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:34,453
Me? I'm wide awake...
156
00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:36,746
The whole thing
is just so crazy.
157
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:39,710
I'm one of the least racist
people you'll ever meet.
158
00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:44,093
Sorry, go on.
159
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:46,470
So why am I awake?
160
00:07:46,508 --> 00:07:47,628
Am I out at the clubs?
161
00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,426
I'm an advocate
for Black people.
162
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,599
I hired you and Gloria.
163
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:54,678
- Gloria's not Black.
- Well, she's something.
164
00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,441
Do I rise with the
European markets...
165
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,609
I just gotta tell you,
166
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:03,687
my favorite actor is Jamie Foxx.
167
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:07,241
I don't think you're
racist, Mr. Franks.
168
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:09,738
Thanks. Thank you.
169
00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:12,951
It's so important to
me that you know that
170
00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:15,292
because I can't give you a loan.
171
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:18,288
Our default rate with borrowers
from the Black community
172
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,211
is just too high.
173
00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:27,716
What is your favorite
Jamie Foxx movie?
174
00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:29,047
Mine's "Ray."
175
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:33,474
So dope.
176
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:34,723
I can't believe that shit.
177
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,474
I mean, whose favorite
movie is "Ray"?
178
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:37,806
That's not what I meant, Isaiah.
179
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,851
I worked on that
presentation for over a year.
180
00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:41,314
Yeah, well, bosses are dicks.
181
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,194
That's why I'm self-employed.
182
00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:44,401
Self-employed doing what?
183
00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:47,151
Doin' well enough to
afford the new Kobes.
184
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:48,323
Pow!
185
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,571
- You didn't answer the question.
186
00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:52,533
Because I'm being
intentionally vague.
187
00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:54,164
Damn.
188
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,886
Learn to allow a little
mystery in your life.
189
00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:58,500
Maybe I'm looking
at this all wrong.
190
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,766
- You know what Rita Gaines says?
- Who the fuck is Rita Gaines?
191
00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:03,000
- Famous entrepreneur.
- She was on "Shark Tank."
192
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,293
And she says,
193
00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:07,546
"Every red light turns
green eventually."
194
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:11,840
That's dumb as shit.
195
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,425
Look, I'm saying
this as your brother.
196
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:15,350
This is your life, Cregory.
197
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,928
- You gotta take action.
- What kind of action?
198
00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:19,354
As soon as this lunch is over,
199
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,953
I want you to walk
into that guy's office,
200
00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:22,847
shut the door, and don't leave
201
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,516
until he agrees to
listen to your pitch...
202
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,444
The entire pitch.
203
00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:29,033
- Fuck it. You're right.
- Goddamn right, I'm right!
204
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,449
I've worked there
over six years.
205
00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:32,048
- Six fucking years.
- They can give me ten minutes.
206
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,992
- He can give you 20.
- He can give me 20.
207
00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:35,412
- 20 grand.
- 20 grand!
208
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:36,700
That's what the fuck
209
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:39,543
I'm talkin' bout, Cre-gor-y!
210
00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:46,416
What's up? Do we have a...
211
00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:49,051
Mr. Franks, I need
$20,000 for a down payment
212
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:51,759
on a piece of swampland,
where I'm gonna grow
213
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,680
saw palmetto berries and
make a fuck ton of money.
214
00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:55,905
Did you know that most older men
215
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,599
suffer from enlarged prostates?
216
00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:59,719
Well, these berries
shrink the prostate,
217
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:02,766
improve urination,
enhance hair growth,
218
00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:04,101
and boost libido.
219
00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:06,645
Pharmaceutical companies
are desperate for them,
220
00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:08,780
but they only grow one
place in the world:
221
00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:10,067
Coastal Flor...
222
00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:13,662
Everybody down!
223
00:10:13,697 --> 00:10:15,317
Down on the ground!
224
00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:16,735
We don't need no heroes.
225
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,302
I don't wanna put no
bullets in the body.
226
00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:20,246
- Nobody move, nobody gets hu...
227
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:22,749
I'm okay.
228
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:24,016
- Go and hit the alarm.
229
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,059
- But he's out there.
230
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,333
So what are you doing in here?
231
00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:27,916
I was... my pitch!
232
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,421
- Your gun's not even out.
233
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,593
- Oh, shit, I forgot I had it.
- All right!
234
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,512
You know what time it
is. Give me that gun.
235
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:35,801
Pass the pistol.
236
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,100
Son of a bitch.
237
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:46,403
- What?
238
00:10:46,438 --> 00:10:48,608
I have no idea what
you talkin' about.
239
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:51,358
Oh, oh, you think all this
cash is from a bank robbery.
240
00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:52,491
It's not.
241
00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:54,447
Crazy story...
242
00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:58,698
- I just found it.
- You know I got fired, right?
243
00:10:58,742 --> 00:11:00,042
I lost my job 'cause of you!
244
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,406
No, you lost your job
245
00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:02,805
'cause you weren't where
you were supposed to be.
246
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,098
'Cause you told me to go
in the manager's office
247
00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,332
and shut the door.
248
00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:06,423
That's on you!
249
00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:07,958
You shouldn't be
taking advice from me.
250
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,211
I'm a known lowlife.
Take me and Dame.
251
00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:12,423
He thinks I should get
golden contact lenses,
252
00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,974
but I'm ignoring him
because that man is trash.
253
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,193
They make you look
like a wizard.
254
00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:17,717
They make you bump into shit.
255
00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:19,301
- What happened to you, Zay?
- Huh?
256
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:20,966
I knew about the
scams and the fraud,
257
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,474
but armed robbery?
258
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:23,975
Seriously?
259
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:27,227
Dad would be ashamed.
260
00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:29,520
You're a disgrace to his name.
261
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:32,317
Hey, Dame, give us a second.
262
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:33,819
Oh, yeah, no doubt. No doubt.
263
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:34,900
No doubt. Shit.
264
00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,614
Oh, sh...
265
00:11:37,906 --> 00:11:40,486
Ow. Fuck. My bad, man.
266
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:43,913
I... I'll fix that later,
you know what I'm sayin'?
267
00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:45,503
Fuck with your
periphery and shit.
268
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,498
My bad, man.
269
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:48,710
That dude's a fool.
270
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:50,394
You see him fall off
the counter in the bank?
271
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:54,088
So I need a new partner.
You're unemployed.
272
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,399
That's what you
wanted to talk about?
273
00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:56,901
Yeah, why you think I
sent Dame out the room?
274
00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:58,005
Because I touched a nerve
275
00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,236
with the stuff I said about Dad?
276
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:01,180
Oh. No, no. No, no.
277
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:02,761
That didn't affect me at all.
278
00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:05,306
'Cause you know who was
a disgrace to Dad's name?
279
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:06,520
Dad.
280
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:09,019
He achieved nothing.
He ain't own nothing.
281
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,362
He died with nothing.
282
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,978
But I did you dirty.
Here's 20 grand.
283
00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:16,355
Go buy yourself some swampland.
Grow your damn dick berries.
284
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:17,653
Keep it.
285
00:12:17,696 --> 00:12:21,026
I'll get my loan, and
I'll do it the right way.
286
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,954
All right, Rita. Let's go.
287
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:26,043
Power and glory.
288
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,159
It's 4:00 a.m. and
Miami is asleep.
289
00:12:28,206 --> 00:12:29,866
But me? I'm wide awake.
290
00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:31,876
Why? Am I out at the clubs?
291
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,628
Do I rise with the
European markets?
292
00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:35,800
No. I just really have to pee.
293
00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:37,419
This is an
all-too-familiar story
294
00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:40,635
for a man of 40, 50, or even 60.
295
00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:43,717
You're suffering from benign
pro static hyperplasia.
296
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,023
In other words,
297
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:46,976
you have an enlarged
prostate, sir.
298
00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:51,437
What's your favorite
Jamie Foxx movie?
299
00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:52,689
E-excuse me?
300
00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:54,571
My favorite of his,
definitely "Collateral."
301
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,937
- You know what he's great in?
- The new "Annie."
302
00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:58,695
"Django" is fucking rad.
303
00:12:58,737 --> 00:13:01,317
They should teach
that shit in schools.
304
00:13:02,657 --> 00:13:04,577
Bathroom is here.
Towels are clean.
305
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:05,827
What else?
306
00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:08,829
Uh, don't tell anyone
I'm renting my place.
307
00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:10,422
It's not really allowed.
308
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,417
Oh. Just here visiting family.
309
00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:14,089
I don't even think
I'll be around much.
310
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:15,547
Okay, cool.
311
00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:19,167
Well, I gotta get
to the airport.
312
00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:20,925
I'm going to New York
for a business meeting.
313
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,236
- Right on, man.
- Enjoy the Big Apple.
314
00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:23,600
- All right.
- All right.
315
00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:09,933
- What the hell?
316
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:11,144
Hey!
317
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,564
Hey, what y'all doin' here?
318
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:19,982
Uh, yeah, I remember.
319
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:22,066
Why do you think I'm
at the car already?
320
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,073
Pfft. Am I living in here?
321
00:14:25,115 --> 00:14:27,325
What, a man can't cook
breakfast in his own car
322
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,037
without living in it?
323
00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:32,624
I have a friend in town.
324
00:14:32,664 --> 00:14:34,124
I gave him my bed. Damn.
325
00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:36,415
Oh, shoot! Phone call.
326
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:38,089
Gotta cut this
conversation short.
327
00:14:38,128 --> 00:14:40,918
I will take Vanessa
to school, though.
328
00:14:40,964 --> 00:14:42,344
Oh, shit, it's a loan officer.
329
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,512
Foster Group. Craig
Foster speaking.
330
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:45,971
Hi, my name is Donald Assarian.
331
00:14:46,011 --> 00:14:47,391
I'm from First
Florida Federated.
332
00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:49,031
- Hello, Mr. Assarian.
- How can I help you?
333
00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:51,805
I came across your
application on my boss' desk.
334
00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:54,020
He wasn't interested
because you're...
335
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:55,400
Well, the point is,
336
00:14:55,437 --> 00:14:56,789
I think it's an
interesting proposal.
337
00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:58,403
Any chance you could take me by
338
00:14:58,440 --> 00:14:59,667
to see the plot
you're looking at?
339
00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:01,321
- Absolutely.
- What's a good time for you?
340
00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:02,939
Could you meet me
there in an hour?
341
00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:05,066
- Perfect.
- Yes, I'll see you there.
342
00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:06,873
Thank you so much, Mr. Assarian.
343
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:07,946
Are you getting the loan?
344
00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:10,411
- I'm getting the loan!
345
00:15:10,452 --> 00:15:11,582
Well, it's not for sure yet.
346
00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:13,289
He's gotta see the
property first.
347
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:14,539
Oh. My suit.
348
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,041
I gotta get my special suit.
349
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,502
Yo, sorry I can't take Vanessa.
350
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:19,585
I know.
351
00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:21,798
I know. I know. I know.
352
00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:23,774
But this is the moment my
life has been building up to.
353
00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:25,008
It's my dream.
354
00:15:25,050 --> 00:15:27,390
And it's the only way
I can make it happen.
355
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,385
I wanted to help
grieving families
356
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,523
cover the myriad costs
of burying a pet.
357
00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:39,064
That was a good idea.
358
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:40,765
Until everybody
got smart phones.
359
00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:41,935
It's all the same!
360
00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:44,193
It's one dream. It's
one fucking dream.
361
00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:49,699
I'm sorry.
362
00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:52,201
But I really think
this is the one.
363
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:58,422
Also, since you
followed me in here,
364
00:15:58,458 --> 00:15:59,828
I do not have a friend over.
365
00:15:59,876 --> 00:16:01,206
That was obviously a lie.
366
00:16:01,252 --> 00:16:02,422
I'm making some extra money
367
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,001
by renting my apartment
out to strangers.
368
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:10,104
I never, ever do this
when Vanessa's here, okay?
369
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:11,886
I swear to you, Camille.
370
00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:14,770
Also, this guy is cool. I'm
a great judge of character.
371
00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:16,268
I'm not just gonna
let anybody up in
372
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,019
What the fuck?
373
00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:19,731
What the fuck?
374
00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:20,771
The fuck?
375
00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:29,356
I know.
376
00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:31,834
I know.
377
00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:36,293
Hey.
378
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,039
I'm sorry.
379
00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:40,291
I'm embarrassed.
380
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,463
I'm sorry.
381
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,063
But everything's gonna
be different after today.
382
00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:45,297
I'ma get this loan.
383
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:47,218
It's all gonna be
different. I promise.
384
00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:49,177
But right now, I gotta go. Okay?
385
00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:50,967
I can't miss this. This...
386
00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:52,301
Shit!
387
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,305
My sausages!
388
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,137
I called the fire department.
389
00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:59,022
Good, good. That was smart.
390
00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:01,440
So can you take me...
391
00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:07,362
Right, let's go.
392
00:17:07,402 --> 00:17:10,662
- Uber, yeah. That's a good idea.
393
00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:12,277
Ah, come on. Come on. Come on.
394
00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:14,663
Come on, come on, come
on, come on, come on.
395
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:17,831
Jillian G. Mercedes Benz.
396
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,763
Craig?
397
00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:34,011
- Yeah.
- Hey. I'm Jillian.
398
00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:36,184
This is my Mercedes!
399
00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:47,361
You don't have to worry.
400
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,030
I'm not one of those
weird Uber drivers
401
00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:50,149
that doesn't talk.
402
00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:51,775
Kay.
403
00:17:54,157 --> 00:17:56,237
Are you from around here?
404
00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:58,414
- Yes.
- I'm from Australia.
405
00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:03,415
Have you ever seen
the movie "Grease"?
406
00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:06,840
Yeah.
407
00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:08,798
Well, here's a little
secret for you.
408
00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:12,258
Olivia Newton-John
is from Australia.
409
00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:14,893
Sandy?
410
00:18:17,222 --> 00:18:18,312
She played Sandy.
411
00:18:18,348 --> 00:18:19,388
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.
412
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:20,701
I know who you're talking about.
413
00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:22,805
Have you ever heard
of Nicole Kidman?
414
00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:25,539
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- I gotta take this.
415
00:18:25,563 --> 00:18:27,233
She's Australian too.
416
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:28,273
What?
417
00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:30,686
No "hello"? I see how it is.
418
00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:32,755
Well, you're about to feel
real bad about being a dick
419
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,489
because I'm calling
to offer you a job.
420
00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:36,571
What kind of job? A legal job?
421
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:37,802
That's a good question, Cregory.
422
00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:40,286
Let me run it up the
ladder to my HR guy.
423
00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:42,078
Get Dame to do it.
424
00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:43,872
Nah, he's unavailable.
425
00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:45,535
He had a little mishap
on account of those
426
00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:46,753
dumb-ass wizard lenses.
427
00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:50,523
Look, man, I'm just trying
to do your poor ass a favor.
428
00:18:50,547 --> 00:18:51,899
- Just let me know if you're in.
- I'm not in.
429
00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:54,303
My poor ass doesn't
need any favors.
430
00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:56,392
As it so happens, I'm on my way
431
00:18:56,428 --> 00:18:58,968
to a business meeting right now.
432
00:18:59,014 --> 00:19:01,064
So thank you,
433
00:19:01,099 --> 00:19:02,349
and go fuck yourself.
434
00:19:02,392 --> 00:19:03,953
Just call me after when
it doesn't work out.
435
00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,347
Go fuck yourself.
436
00:19:08,231 --> 00:19:10,151
You're a businessman.
437
00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:11,861
Very cool.
438
00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:14,571
My father moved here
to be a businessman.
439
00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:16,452
And then he died.
440
00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:18,159
- Sorry to hear that.
- It's all right.
441
00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:22,829
It was sort of the best
age to lose your dad...
442
00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:25,541
As a teenager.
443
00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:28,252
So what's this big meeting?
444
00:19:28,293 --> 00:19:29,755
- I'm trying to buy some land
445
00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:31,594
so I could start a
saw palmetto farm.
446
00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:34,219
- It's complicated.
- Wow.
447
00:19:34,257 --> 00:19:36,467
I wish I was good at business.
448
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:39,049
I'm way in debt, which is crazy,
449
00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:40,715
because I have so many jobs.
450
00:19:40,764 --> 00:19:43,564
I Uber. I Lyft. I TaskRabbit.
451
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,440
I get paid by creeps online
to watch me eat bananas.
452
00:19:46,478 --> 00:19:48,608
I do a little elder
care... Oh, shit!
453
00:19:48,646 --> 00:19:50,516
What? Wh-wh-what?
454
00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:54,962
Sorry, I just have to
do one thing real quick.
455
00:19:54,986 --> 00:19:56,316
- No, I have a meeting.
- I know.
456
00:19:56,363 --> 00:19:57,465
But this will just
take one second.
457
00:19:57,489 --> 00:19:58,569
- Please?
458
00:19:58,615 --> 00:19:59,985
- Pretty please?
- Fine, fine, fine.
459
00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:01,033
Great.
460
00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:03,872
What's the hammer for?
461
00:20:03,912 --> 00:20:06,042
Hammering. Be right back.
462
00:20:22,013 --> 00:20:24,353
What the fuck?
463
00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:34,395
Nearly done! Just wrapping up!
464
00:20:34,442 --> 00:20:36,532
Oh, shit! Fuck you! Ah!
465
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:39,109
- Oh, shit!
- Ah!
466
00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:44,038
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
467
00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:46,157
Hey, I'm just gonna
get another Uber.
468
00:20:46,204 --> 00:20:48,044
No, no, no. I'm done!
469
00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:49,751
I'm done.
470
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,553
Would you mind
sliding down a tad?
471
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:04,965
I'm gonna need a little
room for this guy.
472
00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:07,515
- No, no, no, no, no, no!
473
00:21:07,559 --> 00:21:10,729
No! No! No!
474
00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:17,068
So you're probably
wondering about the snake.
475
00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:19,240
Yeah, I'm wondering
about the fucking snake.
476
00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:21,659
That's exactly what I'm
wondering about, Jillian G.
477
00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:22,925
It's all completely above board.
478
00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:25,409
The state of Florida
pays me to do this job.
479
00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:26,752
Check it out. I've
got a pamphlet.
480
00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:31,248
Ten years ago, there
was a trend for people
481
00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:33,211
to get Burmese pythons as pets.
482
00:21:33,251 --> 00:21:34,841
They start out really cute.
483
00:21:34,878 --> 00:21:36,838
- That can't be true.
- It is.
484
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:38,130
But then they got too big,
485
00:21:38,173 --> 00:21:40,133
so everyone drove their
snakes out to the swamps
486
00:21:40,175 --> 00:21:42,835
and set them free, but
they're not from here,
487
00:21:42,886 --> 00:21:45,506
so nothing eats them,
but they eat everything.
488
00:21:45,555 --> 00:21:46,595
- Birds...
- Okay.
489
00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:47,929
- Alligators...
- Damn.
490
00:21:47,974 --> 00:21:49,564
- Even other snakes.
- Nasty.
491
00:21:49,601 --> 00:21:51,351
It's an ecological disaster.
492
00:21:51,394 --> 00:21:53,984
So the state pays removal agents
493
00:21:54,022 --> 00:21:56,942
100 bucks for every
dead python we bring in.
494
00:21:56,983 --> 00:21:59,283
It's a quick and easy way
to earn some extra cash.
495
00:21:59,319 --> 00:22:00,569
Didn't seem easy.
496
00:22:00,612 --> 00:22:02,381
- They're not poisonous.
- They're really slow.
497
00:22:02,405 --> 00:22:03,565
They're like big hot dogs
498
00:22:03,615 --> 00:22:05,775
that can bite you or
squeeze you to death.
499
00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:09,285
But also, they
can kind of smile.
500
00:22:09,329 --> 00:22:12,499
You know, this has been very
informative and all that,
501
00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:14,170
but you think we... hey!
502
00:22:14,209 --> 00:22:15,629
Hey! It's alive!
503
00:22:15,669 --> 00:22:16,771
You didn't kill
it!
504
00:22:16,795 --> 00:22:17,795
- Shit!
- Okay.
505
00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:18,917
- Okay, okay.
506
00:22:18,963 --> 00:22:20,343
- Fuck!
- Stay calm! Just remember!
507
00:22:20,382 --> 00:22:21,762
It's more scared than you are!
508
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:23,569
That motherfucker's
not scared at all!
509
00:22:23,593 --> 00:22:24,803
That must be the brain damage.
510
00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:26,474
Sometimes they lose
all sense of reason.
511
00:22:26,513 --> 00:22:28,143
- Grab its neck!
512
00:22:28,181 --> 00:22:29,450
- That doesn't help.
- It's all neck!
513
00:22:31,351 --> 00:22:33,401
Shit! Shit!
514
00:22:33,436 --> 00:22:34,686
- Get off me!
515
00:22:34,729 --> 00:22:36,109
- Hold on. Hold on.
- Get off me!
516
00:22:36,147 --> 00:22:37,397
- Ow!
- Sorry!
517
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:38,480
Sorry!
518
00:22:38,525 --> 00:22:39,525
- Ow!
- Sorry!
519
00:22:39,567 --> 00:22:42,607
- Shit!
520
00:22:42,654 --> 00:22:44,414
- Ow, shit!
521
00:22:44,447 --> 00:22:46,237
- Watch the road!
522
00:22:46,282 --> 00:22:48,662
- The window won't kill it!
523
00:22:48,702 --> 00:22:51,042
- Shit!
- Oh, shit!
524
00:23:02,382 --> 00:23:06,512
Okay, so I kind of feel
like I owe you an apology.
525
00:23:06,553 --> 00:23:07,763
You were right.
526
00:23:07,804 --> 00:23:09,934
The window thing worked.
You killed the snake!
527
00:23:09,973 --> 00:23:12,393
That's not what you should be
apologizing for, Jillian G.
528
00:23:12,434 --> 00:23:14,104
What do you think I
should be sorry about?
529
00:23:14,144 --> 00:23:15,314
Everything!
530
00:23:15,353 --> 00:23:17,653
The generalities of
this whole situation.
531
00:23:17,689 --> 00:23:21,399
Okay, but the window
thing was super smart.
532
00:23:21,443 --> 00:23:24,033
So many people overlook
the cerebral aspect
533
00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:25,950
of snake-killing.
534
00:23:25,989 --> 00:23:28,619
Hey, would you
ever wanna team up?
535
00:23:28,658 --> 00:23:30,538
Your brains, my hammer?
536
00:23:30,577 --> 00:23:33,037
I just wanna get to my meeting.
537
00:23:33,079 --> 00:23:34,209
Does your car still drive?
538
00:23:34,247 --> 00:23:35,867
Oh, yeah, for sure.
539
00:23:35,915 --> 00:23:38,745
I'll just throw it in reverse
and get you there in no time.
540
00:23:38,793 --> 00:23:40,463
My special suit.
541
00:23:40,503 --> 00:23:41,963
I can't show up
looking like this.
542
00:23:42,005 --> 00:23:43,255
Not a problem.
543
00:23:43,298 --> 00:23:45,298
I have clothes you
could change into.
544
00:23:48,511 --> 00:23:50,721
- Do you live in there?
- Yeah, it's great.
545
00:23:50,764 --> 00:23:52,104
I got a bed.
546
00:23:52,140 --> 00:23:54,390
I got a couple garbage
bags with my things.
547
00:23:56,144 --> 00:23:57,104
That's pretty much it.
548
00:23:57,145 --> 00:23:58,435
Where do you go to the bathroom?
549
00:23:58,480 --> 00:23:59,360
Starbucks.
550
00:23:59,397 --> 00:24:00,727
- It's actually awesome.
- It is?
551
00:24:00,774 --> 00:24:02,904
Does your bathroom get
cleaned twice a day?
552
00:24:02,942 --> 00:24:05,202
Look, this is very nice and
more than a little bleak,
553
00:24:05,236 --> 00:24:06,672
but I don't think you
have anything in there
554
00:24:06,696 --> 00:24:08,026
that'll fit me.
555
00:24:08,073 --> 00:24:11,333
Oh, really?
556
00:24:13,203 --> 00:24:15,503
- What the hell is that?
- My graduation gown.
557
00:24:15,538 --> 00:24:17,998
Florida School of
Excellence, class of '07.
558
00:24:18,041 --> 00:24:19,711
Go Titties!
559
00:24:19,751 --> 00:24:21,131
The old mascot was racist,
560
00:24:21,169 --> 00:24:23,549
so they let the students
vote on a new one.
561
00:24:28,009 --> 00:24:30,599
That color does
really pop on you.
562
00:24:30,637 --> 00:24:32,637
Quick tip, though...
Stay in the shade
563
00:24:32,681 --> 00:24:34,391
because that fabric
melts in the sun
564
00:24:34,432 --> 00:24:36,482
and it will burn your skin.
565
00:24:51,866 --> 00:24:54,576
Mr. Assarian.
566
00:24:54,619 --> 00:24:55,789
I'm Craig.
567
00:24:59,082 --> 00:25:00,252
- What are you wearing?
- This?
568
00:25:00,291 --> 00:25:02,211
Oh, it's a, uh
569
00:25:02,252 --> 00:25:03,502
it's a gown.
570
00:25:03,545 --> 00:25:05,755
Standard business casual gown.
571
00:25:05,797 --> 00:25:07,717
Look, I have a
presentation for you, okay?
572
00:25:07,757 --> 00:25:09,047
- Yeah.
- Okay.
573
00:25:10,719 --> 00:25:12,009
It's 4:00 a.m.
574
00:25:12,053 --> 00:25:13,683
Miami is asleep.
575
00:25:13,722 --> 00:25:16,982
But I'm wide awake. Why?
Am I out at the clubs?
576
00:25:17,017 --> 00:25:18,807
Do I rise with the
European markets?
577
00:25:18,852 --> 00:25:20,192
No.
578
00:25:20,228 --> 00:25:21,858
I just really have to pee.
579
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:27,530
This is a all-too-familiar-story
580
00:25:27,569 --> 00:25:31,409
for a man of over
40, 50, or even 60.
581
00:25:33,533 --> 00:25:35,043
What's the deal?
582
00:25:35,076 --> 00:25:37,286
What's, uh, the deal?
583
00:25:40,915 --> 00:25:42,535
Okay.
584
00:25:42,584 --> 00:25:44,384
Look, I know this seems crazy.
585
00:25:44,419 --> 00:25:47,669
I'm late. I show
up in a billboard.
586
00:25:47,714 --> 00:25:50,054
When I was a kid, my dad told me
587
00:25:50,091 --> 00:25:52,931
if I worked hard,
I could make it.
588
00:25:52,969 --> 00:25:54,849
I could become rich.
589
00:25:56,348 --> 00:25:57,638
"It won't be easy," he said,
590
00:25:57,682 --> 00:26:02,192
"but you just gotta have faith."
591
00:26:02,228 --> 00:26:04,228
And then he died.
592
00:26:04,272 --> 00:26:08,192
He wasn't rich. He
wasn't anything.
593
00:26:08,234 --> 00:26:10,404
But I carried on his dream.
594
00:26:10,445 --> 00:26:12,315
I just thought that,
595
00:26:12,364 --> 00:26:16,374
you know, if I could
prove him right,
596
00:26:16,409 --> 00:26:19,079
then his life would've
meant something.
597
00:26:19,120 --> 00:26:21,410
His death would've
meant something.
598
00:26:21,456 --> 00:26:26,206
And I waited and I worked
through setback after setback,
599
00:26:26,252 --> 00:26:28,382
and it's just
getting so damn hard.
600
00:26:28,421 --> 00:26:30,631
And I just wanted a sign...
601
00:26:30,674 --> 00:26:33,644
Anything to tell
me to keep going.
602
00:26:33,677 --> 00:26:36,717
So when you called this
morning out of nowhere,
603
00:26:36,763 --> 00:26:38,813
that's what I'd
been waiting for.
604
00:26:38,848 --> 00:26:40,678
It was like the
heavens opened up
605
00:26:40,725 --> 00:26:43,095
and I could hear
the angels singing.
606
00:26:43,144 --> 00:26:45,774
So now, if you say no,
607
00:26:45,814 --> 00:26:49,904
it's not just that I won't
get to start my new business.
608
00:26:49,943 --> 00:26:54,203
This is everything
I've ever believed in.
609
00:26:54,239 --> 00:26:56,199
So I'm asking you,
610
00:26:56,241 --> 00:26:58,951
please,
611
00:26:58,993 --> 00:27:00,663
reward my faith.
612
00:27:03,123 --> 00:27:05,713
Fuck him. That guy's a dick.
613
00:27:10,422 --> 00:27:12,672
Do you mind if we
make a quick pit stop?
614
00:27:14,509 --> 00:27:16,679
I feel like I'm going
above and beyond here
615
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,640
in my role as Uber passenger.
616
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,310
Okay, I didn't wanna
ruin the surprise,
617
00:27:21,349 --> 00:27:24,139
but I'm gonna give
you the 100 bucks
618
00:27:24,185 --> 00:27:25,685
to invest in your business.
619
00:27:25,729 --> 00:27:27,059
What? Why?
620
00:27:27,105 --> 00:27:29,435
Do you know why my graduation
gown wasn't melted?
621
00:27:29,482 --> 00:27:30,543
I assumed because you were
622
00:27:30,567 --> 00:27:31,669
sittin' in the
shade or whatever.
623
00:27:31,693 --> 00:27:33,613
There's no shade
624
00:27:33,653 --> 00:27:36,073
at the Florida
School of Excellence.
625
00:27:36,114 --> 00:27:39,204
Wake up, man! I didn't graduate.
626
00:27:39,242 --> 00:27:41,832
Remember when I said
16 was a good age
627
00:27:41,870 --> 00:27:43,540
to have your dad die?
628
00:27:43,580 --> 00:27:45,670
It wasn't. I tricked you.
629
00:27:45,707 --> 00:27:47,997
I kind of stopped going
to school after that...
630
00:27:48,043 --> 00:27:50,923
Stopped really doing anything.
631
00:27:50,962 --> 00:27:53,342
Things have been tough since
then, and I don't know,
632
00:27:53,381 --> 00:27:56,051
I just don't like to
see anyone else give up.
633
00:27:56,092 --> 00:27:57,472
Well, I appreciate
it, Jillian G,
634
00:27:57,510 --> 00:27:59,220
but 100 bucks ain't
gonna do shit for me.
635
00:27:59,262 --> 00:28:01,682
- It might be 110.
- They pay by the foot.
636
00:28:01,723 --> 00:28:03,813
So if you pull the skin
away from the meat...
637
00:28:03,850 --> 00:28:05,690
I need $20,000.
638
00:28:05,727 --> 00:28:09,017
Okay? So keep your money.
639
00:28:09,064 --> 00:28:10,444
I'm done.
640
00:28:12,150 --> 00:28:13,530
Okay.
641
00:28:13,568 --> 00:28:16,318
Well, I guess I better
go find someone else
642
00:28:16,363 --> 00:28:18,073
- to help me with this, then.
- Yeah.
643
00:28:24,371 --> 00:28:25,501
Hey.
644
00:28:25,538 --> 00:28:27,118
How'd the big
business meeting go?
645
00:28:27,165 --> 00:28:28,665
You swimmin' in dick berries?
646
00:28:28,708 --> 00:28:30,958
No. Look.
647
00:28:31,002 --> 00:28:34,092
I'm calling to see if
you still have that
648
00:28:34,130 --> 00:28:35,720
job opening available for me.
649
00:28:35,757 --> 00:28:38,387
- The illegal one?
- The crime I'm doing?
650
00:28:38,426 --> 00:28:39,862
I thought we were
being cagey about this.
651
00:28:39,886 --> 00:28:42,006
Oh, no, that was
before I had a chance
652
00:28:42,055 --> 00:28:44,215
to rub your moral
downfall in your face.
653
00:28:44,265 --> 00:28:45,925
It's not a moral downfall.
654
00:28:45,975 --> 00:28:47,185
Oh, it is.
655
00:28:47,227 --> 00:28:49,557
We're gonna do such
fucked up stuff together.
656
00:28:49,604 --> 00:28:51,984
Hey, you think
you're in my head?
657
00:28:53,942 --> 00:28:57,822
I know what you're
doing... Standin' out here.
658
00:28:57,862 --> 00:28:58,952
It ain't gonna work.
659
00:28:58,988 --> 00:29:00,341
What the fuck are
you talkin' about?
660
00:29:00,365 --> 00:29:01,425
Oh, you think we're
gonna be intimidated
661
00:29:01,449 --> 00:29:02,829
'cause you got a 14-footer?
662
00:29:02,867 --> 00:29:04,136
Think that makes
you the favorite?
663
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:05,750
Well, guess what?
664
00:29:05,787 --> 00:29:08,917
My boy and I are gonna
eat your fucking ass.
665
00:29:08,957 --> 00:29:10,497
Dad.
666
00:29:10,542 --> 00:29:13,592
Yeah, we're gonna be eatin'
out on your ass all day long.
667
00:29:13,628 --> 00:29:16,418
- Dad!
- What, Corby?
668
00:29:16,464 --> 00:29:17,594
What?
669
00:29:17,632 --> 00:29:19,592
We're gonna eat his ass?
670
00:29:19,634 --> 00:29:21,054
Yeah, well, we're gonna...
671
00:29:21,094 --> 00:29:23,197
We're gonna kick his ass...
You know what I meant, okay?
672
00:29:23,221 --> 00:29:24,561
Boy, I'm havin' a showdown here.
673
00:29:24,597 --> 00:29:26,387
A man's showdown.
Don't undermine me.
674
00:29:26,433 --> 00:29:28,353
Um, sorry, excuse me.
675
00:29:28,393 --> 00:29:31,023
- What are you talkin' about?
- The contest.
676
00:29:31,062 --> 00:29:32,612
The Florida Python Challenge.
677
00:29:32,647 --> 00:29:34,687
It starts tomorrow. 30 days.
678
00:29:34,733 --> 00:29:36,502
Whoever kills the most
snakes gets a grand prize.
679
00:29:36,526 --> 00:29:38,776
- What kind of grand prize?
- Cash.
680
00:29:38,820 --> 00:29:39,950
How much cash?
681
00:29:42,782 --> 00:29:44,532
$20,000.
682
00:29:48,163 --> 00:29:49,963
Zay,
683
00:29:49,998 --> 00:29:51,288
I gotta go.
684
00:31:20,714 --> 00:31:22,764
- Not a doctor.
- Shh.
47660
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