All language subtitles for Minx S01E09 A scintillating conversation about a lethal pesticide

♪ ♪

You drive me to madness.

Then let madness
be your medicine.

♪ ♪

Oh, oh!

♪ ♪

Damn it. I'll get
the sewing kit.

Ooh.

- Your holiness!
- The lady's mine.

The lady has a
name. It's Shelly.

Oh, yeah.

Oh!

Both:

Yes.

Oh, don't spit on your brother!

Your stallion, my queen.

Tonight, I'll be
riding a young colt.

♪ It never rains in
Southern California ♪

♪ Seems I've often heard... ♪

♪ That kind of talk before ♪

♪ It never rains in California ♪

Okay, okay.

Did it work?

Uh...

Maybe I should just
ask your sister.

You know I'm not talking
to her right now.

Or I could ask
"Willy and Franco,"

since the entire
drive-time audience

knows more about my
sex life than I do.

♪ ♪

Dr. Lambert,

I've got the most awful ache,

only it's not in my tooth.

I'm a dentist, Mrs. Lambert.

Sounds like you
need a specialist.

♪ I got a situation ♪

♪ Something worth
thinking about ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Should I stay, hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Should I move on out ♪

♪ Mm-hmm, got a situation ♪

So what's on the
agenda for today?

Oh, well, I still haven't seen

the "Hand-painted Textiles by
Norwegian Children" exhibit

- at The Met.
- Oh, it's a dream.

And next week
there's a production

of "Mourning Becomes Electra"

at the new Circle in the Square.

- Oh, God, I miss live theater.
- We can see it all.

There's no rush. LA
will always be there.

Yeah, glaring at me until
it cracks into the sea.

Brandt, we still have Joyce.

Good girl.

Give yourself time
to recover. Top off?

- Don't mind if I do.
- All right.

That is distilled.

Taste the difference.

Thank you.

Do you want to
swing by the office,

- meet me for lunch?
- Oh, God.

No, I have to run through
the Cavett débâcle

a couple hundred
more times, you know?

Joyce.

Maggie, I can't show
my face at "Betsy."

Oh, honey, don't be intimidated.

It's just another magazine.

I don't know. I only
packed a couple of outfits.

- They're both pretty ripe.
- You have my entire closet.

- We gotta go, sunshine.
- Okay.

A gentle reminder,
the fashion industry

is the world's second-largest
industrial polluter.

- Please, save me.
- Okay, fine.

Okay, I'll see you there. Okay.

- I love you.
- You too.

Okay. Okay, I'm
going, I'm going.

- Bye, bye.
- Bye!

Bye. - Mike got us a reservation

at Tavern on the Green,
do you want to go?

♪ I want to reach for the sun ♪

♪ And have some fun ♪

♪ With none of that
looking behind... ♪

Okay, genuine Big
Apple treasure.

- Fun.
- Right? Tons of fun.

I mean, you can get these in LA,

but when it's your
hometown, why bother.

Sometimes, it takes
being a tourist,

you know, to treat yourself.

Take one. Take... take them all.

- They're for you guys.
- Where's Joyce?

Joyce is just taking some time

- to figure some things out.
- Yeah.

She's not coming back, is she?

It was her decision.

She's a woman with her own
mind and I respect that.

That said, she's probably
at the airport right now

on her way back, but
either way, guys,

we got a magazine to put to bed.

How are we going to
do that without Joyce?

Oh, I don't know,

how did we do
magazines before her?

I seem to remember publishing
a few million without her.

And she gave us a binder
with all of the content

for issue three,

so we just have to
shoot the centerfold.

Right.

- "The Cow."
- "The Goat."

Please show a little
bit of respect.

He's a two-time
Super Bowl MVP, Rich.

Okay. And I'm going to bring
on some security for the shoot,

so he knows he's taken care of.

And he wants to pose
with a topless model.

So could you find one?

What? He want...

O-okay. Given what
we were planning,

she'd have to be a
strong Mrs. Claus

or, I don't know, an elf
fighting for reindeer rights?

We could cover her
butt with tinsel.

Great.

So this woman would be
there as an ornament?

An ornament's fun,
but not one of those,

like, big round ones.

Right? We want like a sexy one,

like an angel or like a
sexy candy cane, right?

Doug, this just doesn't
feel like "Minx."

Okay, then you don't have to be

the centerfold coordinator
for this shoot.

You don't have to go
now. Just skip the shoot.

It's fine. I know
when I'm not wanted.

Bambi.

Guys, if she wants
to go, let her go.

Her job didn't exist
six months ago.

She'll be fine. Okay?

What we need to talk about
is production design.

I got a guy in Azusa
who can get us a sleigh.

What do you got? Let's work.

♪ ♪

♪ A special path has been... ♪

Maggie'll be out in a second.

Okay. Thank you.

♪ ♪

- Joyce!
- Hi.

So before we go, I want
you to meet Elayne.

Oh, God. Now? No...

Come on. It'll be a second.

Oh.

Elayne? I have Joyce Prigger.

Hello. It is real...

I could just ring that
smug Dick Cavett's neck

for what he put you through!

And Victoria should
know better too.

But then again, she
cheats at Scrabble,

so I'm not surprised.

Oh, God, it's fine.

You know, it's just
national television.

I told Elayne all about you.

Yes. You've had quite a ride.

Oh, my God. Where
did that come from?

I kept your debut issue.
Elayne wanted to see it.

Oh, my God, Maggie.
That is so amateurish.

I... I found it
raw, but powerful.

Thank you. That means...
that means a lot.

You know, "Minx" is
a long way from this.

Well, the unholy marriage
of art and commerce.

I'm sure you can relate.

Mm, we're in a bit of
a privileged position

- here at "Betsy."
- Mm-hmm.

Shiny new prestige
publication...

A loss leader for Fairchild.

They don't expect
us to make a profit.

They just love the
good write-ups.

What about advertising?

Oh, we do book the occasional ad

for a mission-driven nonprofit,

but we don't need
it to pay the rent.

Wow.

Joyce, we would love
to invite you in.

Write a piece for us. You
have a fascinating story.

That is such a good idea.

♪ ♪

She's amazing, isn't she?

Okay, do you want a quick tour?

- Yes.
- All right.

So our editorial
department lives in here.

Our department's out
there, layouts, hi.

Oh, my favorite... my favorite
is this little research nook.

Oh, wow.

God, the temperature,
it's so cozy.

Always set to 74.

And if you get a
chill, shahtooshes,

made from the wool of
Tibetan chiru antelopes.

Oh, wow.

So I invited some of the
ladies to join us for lunch,

but if you want it
to just be us...

- No, the more the merrier.
- All right, shall we?

Let's... okay, this way.

- Where were we?
- Terms.

Well, I couldn't
possibly consider

without a full editorial staff.

Sounds fair to me.

First-class travel.

Domestic.

And international.

If I'm not in Milan
for Fashion Week,

"Minx" will never be
relevant in the style space.

And Halston would
love you, by the way.

Oh, everybody loves me.

I like your spunk but you're
not my only date to the dance.

Yes, I'm sure you have Helen
Gurley Brown in your Rolodex.

Oh, I do.

I'm serious.

Listen, you know
how hot "Minx" is

or you wouldn't have
taken this meeting.

I'm about to have the number
one adult mag in the country

and we both know you want
to be a part of that.

So I'll consider your
terms, but as of now,

Milano's on your dime.

Chocolate tart? Key lime pie?

Just the check.

And that 21-year single malt.

Coming up.

I didn't know where else to go.

There's nothing left for
me to do at Bottom Dollar.

I'm so sorry, Bambi. I
don't know where Joyce is.

She's on my shit list, in fact.

I get that you're mad,
but isn't it kind of good,

what happened with
you and Lenny?

I mean, now that he knows he
can't take you to the moon,

at least you can get somewhere.

What? Like divorce court?

I tried to apologize,

but we can't seem to
get back on track.

You just need to
re-notch your groove.

How do you feel about
getting naked in the desert?

- No.
- Okay, so mescaline's out.

Yeah. Riunite's as
crazy as we get.

You can get crazier than that.

What about something sexy?

- I don't do sexy.
- Shelly.

You have the hair of a starlet

and the hips of a Greek goddess.

I've seen those statues. Okay?

They're kind of doughy.

Dough gets pounded.

- You offered her how much?
- Don't worry about that.

Plus she's gonna be worth ten
times that if she delivers

on half the stuff she promised.

I mean, with her connections...

But what salary
did you offer her?

We're talking about film.
We're talking about fashion.

We're talking about beauty.

I mean, we could
sponsor a jazz festival.

Hobnobbin' with Herbie Hancock.

Don't tell me you
wouldn't want that, Tins.

Don't tease me with Herbie.

Bye-bye, new building.

Oh, no, no. Hello, new empire.

I mean, how many
opportunities in life

do you get to
catch the big wave?

This is the big one.

Okay, Joyce has been
gone, what, five days?

Can we slow down? These
are huge decisions.

No way, not a chance.

This is the time
to make a big move.

Voilà. Spaghetti Renetti.

- This is Spaghetti Alfredo.
- Excuse me?

Did Alfredo tell
you to say that?

He might've mentioned something.

That is my spaghetti.
Alfredo is out of line.

Hey, you say it. You say it.

Alfredo, you're out of line.

Thank you. I needed to hear it.

Mm.

Hey, I want you to be
the managing editor

of "Minx", Tins.

Look, Wendy's a big name.
She's got big ideas.

But day-to-day
production spending,

you're the only person
I trust and you know it.

You're giving me this job now.

Yes, I am.

So Alex is a restaurant critic.

I can't believe we're
serving him dinner.

Why don't I just kill myself?

Georgina, you met
earlier at "Betsy."

She's an assistant editor
and her dad runs Unilever.

Oh.

And Eric works
for Mayor Lindsay.

He's responsible for everything
good Lindsay's ever done.

And, uh, he's single.

- Oh, really.
- Mm-hmm.

Only thing to know is that
he says, um, "busimess."

It's not a big deal.

Are you saying he
says "busimess"

- instead of "business?"
- Mm-hmm.

Well, has anybody told him?

- No.
- Tonight's the night.

No, Joyce, you can't tell him.

- I'm gonna tell him.
- No, you...

Why can't you move
back to New York?

I miss you.

Oh, God. Don't tempt me.

These farmers are
so short-sighted.

They can't see five
minutes into the future.

- Right.
- I agree.

Maybe if the government
hadn't shoved it

down their throats
after the war,

we wouldn't have this
problem to begin with.

No, no, no, if DDT is going
to save the family farm,

then who are we to judge?

The people who are
going to die of cancer.

Yeah, and watch as
the ecosystems fail

because all the birds
have gone extinct.

As long as we still
have Cornish hens.

Right, except for those. Yes.

They're delicious, love.

Oh, well, Citarella
never disappoints.

Oh, my God. I've missed this.

I cannot remember the last time

I had a scintillating
conversation

about a lethal pesticide.

Oh, no, tragedy. That's
the last of the ice.

All: Oh, boo.

- Brandt...
- Just stick to the wine.

It's delicious.

You love it. It's great.

Says the man with
ice in his whiskey.

I'm humiliated. I am so sorry.

You should be.

Okay.

All right. Okay.

How's he doing in there?

- Unclear.
- Yeah?

There are a lot of noises.

- Lot of noises, huh?
- A lot.

Both:

Noises are okay.

How you doing?

Girls are ready. We're ready.

You close?

Close is for pussies.

You're either there
or you're nowhere.

All right.

Let's do this.

Get to work. Let's go!

We got him, ladies,
Billy Brunson.

Whoo!

That is a very hard dick.

- Oh, you think?
- We can't shoot that.

Unless you want a magazine no
one can put on their stands.

I don't know, I
was thinking maybe

you could do some kind of
camera trick or an angle

that kind of hides
it a little bit.

Sure, I'll just set the
exposure to flaccid.

Renetti, this happenin'
or what, buddy?

Yes. Yes.

Can I get a moment
with you, please?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

I love this choice.
I think it's bold.

But I got to say, I
find with our readers,

it's... it's better to
sometimes give them a bite

rather than the whole
meal, don't you?

You might get away with that
bullshit with your male models.

But not with me.

You asked for The Goat, you're
gettin' all of The Goat.

I don't... I don't
know about black.

It was the only color
Tommy wore for years.

On the plus side, black
goes with everything.

So getting him
dressed was a breeze.

But, you know...

Shelly, in this home, you
don't have to be a mom.

And you look great.

I don't recognize myself.

That's the point.

Okay.

Shelly...

Meet Shelly. That's you, too.

She's just been
hiding for a while.

In order to find magic
with your husband,

you have to find it
first in yourself.

- So, Joyce...
- Yes.

How long will you
be in New York?

Well, usually I have
everything planned.

Everything. But I don't know.

She's writing a piece for
us at "Betsy" actually.

Good for you. What about?

I... no... I have
not said yes yet.

Smart. Hold out for more money.

I can help you with that.

Well, thank you. Thank you.

- Okay, good.
- You got people.

It's... no, Elayne wants
me to write about "Minx".

Yikes.

Maggie told us not
to say anything.

No. No.

What I said is,
"Don't push her."

No, it's fine. It's fine.

I don't mind talking
about it amongst friends.

- Great.
- Oh, God.

I do have one question.

- Of course.
- There he is.

- The men.
- Mm-hmm?

- Gigolos, right?
- No, no.

The first centerfold
was a firefighter.

And the second was
a Juilliard grad.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

Look at that.

His parents must be dancing.

Who cares about the men?

We want to know about the women.

Who ends up doing
something like that?

Obviously, somebody who has to.

- Mm.
- A runaway.

Or a single mother.

No. That's not
been my experience.

You hear that, Georgina?

Don't judge until
you've street-walked

a mile in their stilettos.

These women aren't actually
that different from us.

You know, they just are

more comfortable
with their bodies.

Joyce. They're nothing like us.

Now remember, you
are a dazzling,

glimmering, sexy nymph.

Oh, nymphs like to
hide behind things.

Maybe I'll just pop
behind the couch or...

No, no, no.

Come on, you're hot.

Yeah, I'm sweating.
I'm a sweater.

Okay. Take this.

Oh. This is nice.

My good luck charm.

I wore it on my very
first photo shoot.

"101 Arabian Nights."

Oh, isn't it "One Thousand
and One Arabian Nights"?

Yeah. Ours was pretty low budge.

But I was nervous
like you are now

and I got through it and
nothing bad's happened since.

Wow, that's quite a hot streak.

Yes. Hot.

Speaking of hot,

you are on fire and
you have a secret.

Ooh. What is it?

I don't know.

It's between you and the camera.

Oh, you're good.

Hey, Billy.

Can I have one more...
Can I have a moment?

Yeah. This is great.
This is exciting.

Can I be totally
honest with you?

It's... it's not up to me.

I mean, I can take these photos,

but it's not legal for
me to distribute them.

My dick is above
the law, brother.

Yeah, I wish that
was true. Believe me.

But what if we took
it down to 75%?

Can we do 75%, Billy?

- Three-quarter mast.
- Yeah.

Is that how you like
to salute your flag?

In America?

Hey, I'm a patriot
just like you.

But if you want your fellow
Americans to see this thing,

which we both fucking do,

we gotta let a little air
out of the tire down here.

We just gotta.

- 90%.
- That's...

Give me 80. Let's go down to 80.

- No way.
- Yes.

No way, brother.
This is grade A beef.

Come on.

Oh no, step back, son. No, no.

Everybody stays naked.

I know you want me hard.

So why don't you just
take this bad boy in?

You can look but don't touch.

Let's start shooting. Right?

Let's find a level that
works for everybody.

But the move now is to
start shooting, right?

Yeah, yeah, let's get these
girlies jumping up and down.

- I want these jingles jangling.
- Ooh, I love that energy!

Girls, let's jump.

Let's get the jingles
jangling like he said.

It's about education.

Just think of how much better
these people's lives could be

if somebody just cared enough
to keep them in school.

You know, I don't think
that educated people

have a monopoly on
good decision-making.

An excellent point
from the Vassar grad

who ended up in porno.

- Oh.
- Ouch.

She didn't "end up" there.

She was slumming it for a while,

getting a little
dirt under the nails.

Well, the story
has a happy ending

because Joyce is back in
New York where she belongs.

To Joyce. All: To Joyce.

To Joyce.

So I ran into William
Shawn last week,

- who looks awful, by the way.
- Well, of course.

I'll get more ice.

No, you don't have to do that.

No, no, no. It's fine.

I never get to breathe fall air.

All right. Did I tell you...

Doug, look around.

Is this really what
"Minx" is about?

Don't do that whiny
shit right now.

- You hear me?
- No, I know he's a big get.

But, Doug, what
are we doing here?

I can't keep this
thing up all day long.

What do they think we're doing?

We're on limited
time here, Leibovitz.

- Start shooting.
- Just give me a second, okay?

Just please press the button.
Let's shoot something.

I can't stand here all day.

Take the pics, Richie.

Read the room and take the pics.

- Fine.
- Good.

Don't be an asshole,
press the button.

I am.

Why don't you go
rouge some nipples

if this is so beneath you, Rich?

Okay? I got it. Thanks,
Richie. Thank you.

Oh, great.

Now there's two hard
dicks in the room.

Oh, ho! Pretty good. We're good.

That's how you take
control, Renetti.

My man.

Have fun with your boyfriend.

Grits and pancakes.
What do you say, guys?

Good. Excitement, excitement.

We got Billy Brunson.

Great.

What's wrong?

Nothing. You're gorgeous.

I just want to adjust
your hair a little bit.

Yeah, do whatever you want.

Um...

♪ ♪

Um, and then the robe,

I was thinking maybe
it could be a little

off the shoulders or...

What about no robe?

That's the shot.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Rock steady, baby ♪

♪ That's what I feel now ♪

♪ Let's call this song
exactly what it is ♪

♪ Step and move your hips ♪

♪ With a feeling
from side to side ♪

♪ Sit yourself
down in your car ♪

♪ And take a ride,
while you're moving ♪

Can I buy you a drink?

If I say yes, will
you stop following me?

♪ ♪

♪ Step and move your hips ♪

♪ With a feeling
from side to side ♪

Oh!

♪ Sit yourself
down in your car ♪

♪ And take a ride ♪

♪ While you're
moving rock steady ♪

Whoo! - ♪ Rock steady ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Rock steady ♪

I know the Cornish hen
was a bit dry, but...

Um, I'm sorry.

Okay, I just... I went dancing.

In the middle of a dinner party?

Is that a hickey?

Uh...

Yeah.

I met somebody.

So who was he?

You don't even know his name.

You know what I know
is that he wasn't

patronizing and judgmental.

Oh, grow up, Joyce.

You think when Gloria Steinem
goes to a dinner party,

people don't ask
her about her time

going undercover at
The Playboy Club?

It's what makes you
interesting right now.

My life is not fodder
for your dinner party.

But you're more than happy

to lap up the attention
when it suits you.

You're more than happy
basking in my reflection.

This...

I'm trying to give
you back your life.

Okay. All right.

This is salvageable. All right?

I, uh...

I have some stationery.

You can write some apology notes

and break out that
Prigger charm.

I have nothing to apologize for.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Is this what you wanted?

It'll move magazines, all right?

I'll start looking
for new photographers.

You should probably take
Joyce's name off the masthead.

♪ ♪

♪ I wish I knew how ♪

♪ It would feel to be free ♪

♪ I wish I could break ♪

♪ All the chains holdin' me ♪

♪ I wish I could say ♪

♪ All the things
that I should say ♪

♪ Say 'em loud, say 'em clear ♪

♪ For the whole
round world to hear ♪

♪ I wish I could share ♪

♪ All the love
that's in my heart ♪

♪ Remove all the bars ♪

♪ That keep us apart ♪

♪ I wish you could know ♪

♪ What it means to be me ♪

♪ Then you'd see and agree ♪

♪ That every man
should be free ♪

♪ I wish I could give ♪

♪ All I'm longin' to give ♪

♪ I wish I could live ♪

♪ Like I'm longing to live ♪

♪ I wish I could do ♪

♪ All the things that I can do ♪

♪ And though I'm way overdue ♪

♪ I'd be startin' anew ♪

♪ Well, I wish I could be ♪

♪ Like a bird in the... ♪