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1
00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:31,720
That car is really cool!
2
00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:31,720
Yeah, it's "brill".
3
00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:36,480
Will you drive us to school?
I suppose so.Right to the gate?
4
00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:40,800
Well, round the corner.
5
00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:40,800
< That's not fair.
6
00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:47,480
Now you've got a nice car,
you're self-conscious.
7
00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:47,480
Can Sammy and I sit in it?
8
00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:51,920
No. As soon as we can
we'll be selling it.
9
00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:56,720
Will we, Dad? Hmm.
You heard your father.
10
00:00:56,720 --> 00:01:03,040
Why can't we keep it?
Because we need the money.
And it drinks petrol.
11
00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:10,840
Sammy drinks petrol. Sammy would.
12
00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:10,840
Take these upstairs and put them
away. And do something to your bed!
13
00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:14,000
What? Burn it.
14
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:20,760
The only decent thing we've got
and she's selling it.
She might buy a Lada.
15
00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:27,760
You wouldn't! Mmm, yes.
I think a nice brown Lada
16
00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:27,760
is the thing for us.
17
00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:33,800
If you ever park a Lada outside,
I'm LEAVING. Buy one!
18
00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:38,400
Oh, please... I think I might have
my tubes tied.
19
00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:43,320
Have them done in a slip-knot.
Covers all eventualities. There...
20
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:48,680
Are you sure it wasn't knocked off?
Yes. The last owner didn't need it.
21
00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:53,680
Hello. This is Ben Porter. Please
leave your message after the tone.
22
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:56,680
Hang on - see what you think.
23
00:01:56,680 --> 00:02:02,160
'This is Margaret Thatcher. Please
leave your message after the tone.'
24
00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:05,560
Well? Where did you get THAT ?
25
00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:08,840
It's a joke tape. It'd better be!
26
00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:15,200
Can I go and play with Sammy?
Where?Round at Judith's.
Her mum's there. OK.
27
00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:21,880
But I want you back at seven.
Thanks, Mum. And don't come back.
28
00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:30,120
I was thinking... We are not
keeping that car. You agreed.
29
00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:30,120
We discussed it.
30
00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:35,920
You gave me a chinese burn. I did
not. You might like driving it.
31
00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:43,840
HORN PLAYS "DIXIE"
32
00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:43,840
Sorry!
33
00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:58,320
BLAST OF "DIXIE"
34
00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:58,320
It's very sensitive.Bloody yuppie!
35
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:58,520
ANOTHER BLAST OF "DIXIE"
36
00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:23,400
What lovely Chrysanthemums.
37
00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:46,200
Is something wrong?
38
00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:46,200
Won't be a moment. Why are you
looking like that?Sorry?
39
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:54,240
They're all doing it now.
Could you step in and see Dawn?
Dawn?Yes.
40
00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:57,600
Who the hell is Dawn?
41
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:08,120
SING-SONG SYNTHETIC TONE:
42
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:08,120
Hello, Mrs Porter. I'm Dawn,
your personal banker.
43
00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:13,000
I'm sorr .
I'm Dawn, your personal banker.
44
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:17,440
No, I was just speaking my mind.
What's all this about?
45
00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:23,520
It is OUR policy to give
each of our customers
their own personal banker
46
00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:31,360
to deal personally with all their
banking needs. Yes, there seems
47
00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:31,360
to be a problem with my cheque.
48
00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:36,840
It IS our policy for customers to
consult with their personal banker
49
00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:44,040
to plan their financial profiles
vis-a-vis our current financial
50
00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:44,040
liquidity restrictions.
51
00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:48,720
I'm consulting you now.
Can I have my £30 ?
52
00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:51,400
Errrrr...no.
53
00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:56,840
Look, my salary should have been
paid in. Can't I have some money?
54
00:05:56,840 --> 00:06:01,920
It IS our policy to set aside
no contingency funds
55
00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:08,200
unless customers have made
prior arrangement
for suitable amounts.
56
00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:11,200
Do you talk like that at home?
57
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:14,960
Like what? In that strange voice.
58
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:19,000
Of course not.
59
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:19,000
Then why do it to me?
60
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:22,200
Because I'm your personal banker.
61
00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:30,720
Well, could I make an arrangement
with you now?It is our policy...
62
00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:30,720
Dawn...
63
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:38,440
As my personal banker perhaps
you could give me some advice.
64
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:38,440
Yes, Mrs Porter?
65
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:43,120
We're both women. Now I don't know
if you have a home and a job,
66
00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:48,520
but I need some money to pay
the milkman and buy some petrol.
67
00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:53,520
Can you tell me, as clearly
as possible, what my chances are?
68
00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:58,840
Bugger all, I'm afraid.
69
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:08,080
Oh, terrific (!)
70
00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:15,400
Very convincing (!)
71
00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:22,840
< Out on the town?
72
00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:29,240
I've just been blocked in by the
world-famous bricklaying midwife.
73
00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:34,760
Probably gone for chips. Won't be
long. I've only got 20 minutes.
74
00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:41,720
It's a nice car. Yes, if your name's
75
00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:41,720
Bobby Sue and you're Elvis's
illegitimate daughter.
76
00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:46,440
I think it suits you.
Do you?
77
00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:49,800
So, how's it going then?
78
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:56,080
I've been told by an air-hostess
that I can't cash my cheque.
79
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:56,080
Money isn't everything.
80
00:07:56,080 --> 00:08:02,800
Yeah, and everything in my account
isn't money.Things change.
Not my things.
81
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:10,200
Sometimes we have to change them.
82
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:10,200
Yes, but what things do we change?
And when?
83
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:15,640
It's all quite a game, isn't it?
Here they come! Best be off.
84
00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:18,800
I'll be seeing you.
85
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:49,280
What's wrong with Paddy's?
You're always eating fast food.
86
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:49,280
I've got a fast mouth.
87
00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:57,040
What's this detour really in aid of?
88
00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:57,040
Gosh, Skippy, sometimes you're
almost human. I'm expecting a call.
89
00:08:57,040 --> 00:09:02,080
ANSAFONE:
'This is Dave. We got that 175 by 17
90
00:08:57,040 --> 00:09:02,080
double rad. See you.
91
00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:07,000
BLEEP
92
00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:07,000
'Hello, my pump's broken down...'
93
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:10,280
This is riveting... Ssshh!
94
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:17,680
BLEEP
'Hi, it's Peter. That bloke's dead
95
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:17,680
keen on the car. He's offering 3½.
96
00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:21,000
'I'll keep him hot - OK ?'
97
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:25,960
'Hello, it's me again. My pump
is red hot...' Bloody obscene calls.
98
00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:31,360
Are you gonna sell it? All in the
fullness of time.I don't get it.
99
00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:34,320
Not till Saturday.Why Saturday?
100
00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:42,480
Picture it, the Chelsea Embankment.
End to end, as far as the eye can
101
00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:42,480
see, with groovy motors.
102
00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:47,480
The Firebird, the V8, the Ford
Fairlaine, the Lincoln Continental.
103
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:53,280
And there - in the centre of it all
in the '57 Chevvy sits...
104
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:55,760
Stevie Wonder?
105
00:09:57,240 --> 00:10:04,120
ME, you dickhead, me. The wild
and crazy heating engineer.
Oh, I get it. Finally.
106
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:08,760
You don't want Bill to know.
107
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:08,760
I'll tell her myself.
108
00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:12,600
You're afraid of her. Me? Afraid?
109
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:15,200
What was THAT ?
110
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:22,600
AUSTRALIAN ACCENT:
111
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:22,600
..Last week they were 3 down
and old Jenkie's got two behinds.
112
00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:31,280
Yeah, I know.Then Morrissey plays
113
00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:31,280
the marks from Ayres and sticks one
right between the bigguns! Yes.
114
00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:34,400
Er...I asked for a pie.
115
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:41,680
Oh, sorry. I don't know what
I was thinking of. You're the only
one who doesn't...
116
00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:50,040
Yeah, it's definitely the Hawks
117
00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:50,040
for the finals, that's assuming they
get a fair nibble of Nobbie's nuts.
118
00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:53,280
Well...I'll be seeing you.
119
00:10:56,400 --> 00:11:01,920
Did you see that behind?
120
00:10:56,400 --> 00:11:01,920
I prefer Jenkie. He's got TWO !
121
00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:09,480
That's just an expression.
Oh, Moby Dick! I forgot to put
my name and number on his new bag.
122
00:11:09,560 --> 00:11:13,200
Maybe the baker would ice it
on our cakes.
123
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:18,600
I thought he was cute. You didn't
understand a word he was saying.
124
00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:23,560
I did. It was Australian Football.
You don't know anything about it.
125
00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:27,080
Yes, I do. What are the rules then?
126
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:32,880
There's 22 of them...and they all
wear tiny little shorts.
127
00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:40,840
And they run about grabbing
each other...and it's very muddy.
Rona. What? You're drooling.
128
00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:47,880
I'm not. Oh, look - it's chucking
out time at Nursery.Hello, girls.
129
00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:53,200
Why so glum, darling?
Aren't I the man of your dreams?
130
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:56,680
You look like Freddie Kruger, yes.
131
00:11:56,680 --> 00:12:03,680
I like 'em with a sense of humour.
Do I hear the kettle boiling,
darlin'? I don't think so.
132
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:10,600
Well, it must be your hot steaming
passion then. No, it's the kettle!
133
00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:16,640
Don't you love those moments
alone, eh? Yes. Go away.
134
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:20,640
Darling, please!
Let's not forget who I am.
135
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:26,120
I hold your little job in my hand,
so how about a little respect, eh?
136
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:31,640
What do you want?
137
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:31,640
The challenge of change, my lovely.
138
00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:38,960
As of today, I'll be calling every
day to take your large notes to the
bank. We'll look forward to that (!)
139
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:45,680
Could save us a thousand a month.
Here we are...Thanks.
140
00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:49,320
Evaporated milk AND lemon, was it?
141
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:54,920
"Mr" Castell is going to visit us
more often.What's this?
142
00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:59,480
It's a cheque.
It's only for thirty pounds.
143
00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:04,440
We have a little rule about cashing
personal cheques. Remember?
144
00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:08,200
He means
the "No cashing cheques" rule.
145
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:15,920
I had to. You haven't paid my wages
in.I'm paying it in with this.
146
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:15,920
So I took it OUT of that.
147
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:22,920
Anticipation, girls - anticipation.
You need to think ahead a little.
148
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:22,920
Have a bit of spare.
149
00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:26,160
I always do.
150
00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:31,880
Ciao!
151
00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:37,640
Eeeeugh! Like a dose of rabies.
152
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:44,680
What are you going to do?
Put the money back. I'll sleep with
153
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:44,680
the milkman. Ben'll understand.
154
00:13:44,680 --> 00:13:50,480
And the garage man? Him, too.
It'll give the milkman company.
155
00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:55,400
Where's that bag I put my number
on...? It was just there...
156
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:59,840
Oh-oh. What?
It's for you-hoo!
157
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:03,360
Oh, God...!
158
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:08,840
Mum's coming.
159
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:08,840
Oh, no.
160
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:08,840
Why?
161
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:13,320
Nothing.
162
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:13,320
Really?
163
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:13,320
Yeah!
164
00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:18,400
She doesn't look happy.
165
00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:18,400
Shut up!
166
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:21,080
I think she's in a bad mood.
167
00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:25,080
Get out of it!
168
00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:25,080
CAT YOWLS
169
00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:29,680
Yep - you're gonna die.
170
00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:29,680
Leave me alone!
171
00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:37,640
Why does every cat in London use
our garden to do its business?
172
00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:42,320
I'll print a sign, "Cat Toilets"!
Any messages?No.
173
00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:46,600
David!I'm doing my Maths!
What's going on?
174
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:52,320
How should I know? Mum...can I have
some money for the cinema?
175
00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:58,280
Sorry, don't have any.Why not?
I blew it all on male prostitutes!
176
00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:05,840
Mother! Well, how much is it?
It's only four pounds. Dream on.
177
00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:11,800
DOORBELL
It's not that much. I can remember
178
00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:11,800
when you could buy a meal for that.
179
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:17,440
Mrs Porter? Yes?Your David's been
playing with my Judith. Oh, yes?
180
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:21,760
DAVID ! They want to see you!
181
00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:29,560
Hello, sweetness. Hello.
Any messages? Ben, we have to talk.
182
00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:35,360
I was going to tell you. What?
Nothing! Where are the kids?
183
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:41,480
I lent Jenny my last £5.
David's upstairs. I told him
to wait till you came home.
184
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:47,480
This isn't the doomsday scenario?
You said it was like the nuclear
185
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:47,480
deterrent.
186
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:53,560
But you don't USE the deterrent.
Wait till you hear what he's done.
187
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:58,600
I'm too...nice for all that.
I've just had Judith's mother here.
188
00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:05,080
She found David, Sammy and Judith
in her shed - playing cards.
Is that all?
189
00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:08,280
Naked.
190
00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:13,200
Naked?! They were playing
Strip Happy Families.
191
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:18,360
The randy little devil! Of course
he claims it was Sammy's idea.
192
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:24,080
"Do you have Mr Snip, the tailor?"
"Get your knickers off!" Stop it!
193
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:31,640
You nearly laughed! It's not funny.
Anyway, I'm going round to Sammy's.
They shouldn't be playing together.
194
00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:39,320
I want you to talk to David.
And You Know What I Mean?
What...?
195
00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:44,000
That's it. Your time has come.
No problem.
196
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:49,200
I'll be about an hour. Tell him
everything you know. In an hour?
197
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:53,640
That's right...
The rest of the time's your own.
198
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:57,440
It usually is.
199
00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:22,440
Come through, will you?
200
00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:28,200
Donna! See to Bobby, will you?
He wants changing.
201
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:35,800
I'm sorry about the mess. I've got
four including Sammy and my dad's
202
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:35,800
not much use. He's lost his arm.
203
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:41,880
David said he lost it in the war.
Originally. But now he's lost
the false one.
204
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:46,920
God knows where it is. He's had
more arms than Saddam Hussein!
205
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:51,840
Dad! We've got visitors.
206
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:51,840
< I'm just making tea.
207
00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:55,400
That'll only take about 6 hours.
208
00:17:55,400 --> 00:18:03,200
He used to put his arm in the window
with two fingers sticking up on it -
for when the social worker was due.
209
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:08,000
Oh, do sit down, won't you?
Thanks.
210
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:12,120
There you are.
Are you gonna sit down there?
211
00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:19,760
I've come about Sammy.
Oh, yes. The little bugger admits
it was all his idea.
212
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:27,000
I'm sure David was just as much
to blame.No. He's been like
213
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:27,000
a devil since his dad left me.
214
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:35,480
I'm sorry, I didn't know.
What he didn't drink, he put on
the dogs. An' he used to hit me.
215
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:40,000
God, how I miss him.
216
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:40,000
CRASHING
217
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:44,040
Not another teapot.
Donna! Help your grandad!
218
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:48,200
< I don't need any help!
219
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:48,200
MORE CRASHING
220
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:54,480
I've come about David and Sammy
playing together.Oh, yeah,
I'm glad.
221
00:18:54,480 --> 00:19:00,280
Sammy hasn't got many friends. Most
kids just make fun of his clothes.
222
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:05,320
I do what I can on the Social,
but...well, you know, it's not easy.
223
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:09,840
He's been a lot happier
since he's been seeing David.
224
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:14,160
Um...Mrs...?Oh, it's Bryan.
You can call me Marie.
225
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:19,200
Marie...I think Sammy and David
226
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:19,200
are...
227
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:23,680
Are going to be great friends.
Good.
228
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:27,760
So...
229
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:30,600
This girls business...
230
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:33,840
Mind if I have a drink?No. Good.
231
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:38,320
Can I have one? Sure.
232
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:55,920
Right...
Let's get down to the facts.
233
00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:04,480
So you want to know
what girls look like? Well...
234
00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:09,040
Go on, be my guest.
Don't be shy. Go on...
235
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:19,320
What do you think?
Do they ALL look like that?
236
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:24,720
That's a fact. Do anything for you?
Me, neither.
237
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:28,160
They look stupid.
238
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:36,960
Yes, they're quite possibly
the stupidest women in the world.
You won't learn anything from this.
239
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:42,080
The only place you're going to find
out about girls is from me.Right.
240
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:47,960
The fact of the matter is
women...
241
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:52,320
are NOT of this Earth.
242
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:58,560
Notice how they always go quiet
243
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:58,560
when you walk into a room?
244
00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:02,120
They've been speaking
Woman language.
245
00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:08,800
Why don't they like football?
Because they have
an alien intelligence.
246
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:12,920
Why do they want to run off
and get married?
247
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:18,720
So that eventually every man will
be a slave to the planet Woo-man!
248
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:27,040
That's not true. Isn't it?
They're just the same as us.
249
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:31,400
My son, you have the beginnings
250
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:31,400
of wisdom.
251
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:34,120
Now...
252
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:38,080
'Bye.
253
00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:03,720
DOG BARKS
254
00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:19,640
..Supposed to be playing this Sun.
But I've pulled a muscle. Oh?
255
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:24,480
Yeah, he got me right here...
All knotted up. You should feel it.
256
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:29,440
The physio reckons manipulation
might help. Probably.
257
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:34,600
Don't suppose you know anyone who
might give me a massage? Not really.
258
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:40,640
Well, if you hear of anyone...?
I suppose so. 'Bye.See you.
259
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:48,360
Do I know you? What?
Only I was expecting Rona in today.
260
00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:52,280
I don't understand.
Didn't you hear what he was saying?
261
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:55,760
I wasn't really listening.
262
00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:58,800
Rona, are you all right?
263
00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:04,640
You may as well know, I had a call
last night from..."Ciao!"
264
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:09,960
Little creep. What did he want?
265
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:09,960
Oh...you know.
266
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:13,120
You didn't agree to meet him?
267
00:23:13,120 --> 00:23:19,720
I couldn't get him off the phone.
He kept making suggestions... What?
268
00:23:13,120 --> 00:23:19,720
About doing things.
269
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:24,640
How dare he! Oh, I've done them.
But he made them seem dirty.
270
00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:28,480
You can't. You know what'll happen.
271
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:34,040
So I sleep with him? We keep our
jobs. He'd only be one of many.
272
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:41,560
OK, you sleep around. But when did
you sleep with a man you didn't
want? It's always been your choice.
273
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:45,760
All right, don't go on, Bill.
274
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:45,760
'Afternoon, my lovelies.
275
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:49,920
How about a cuddle?
276
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:49,920
Excuse me...What's up with her?
277
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:56,320
Can't you tell?She was coming on
278
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:56,320
strong last night. Begging for it!
279
00:23:56,320 --> 00:24:03,640
Why don't you leave her alone?
Jealous, are we? Don't worry,
280
00:23:56,320 --> 00:24:03,640
I've got plenty left for you.
281
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:10,960
It's time you realised I am not
a bonking machine. And neither,
282
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:10,960
for that matter, is Rona.
283
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:15,680
Rona? Come off it!
Everybody knows she's a slag!
284
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:27,480
Mr Castell, would you step
into the back with me
for a moment?Sure.
285
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:39,440
BLEEP
'Ben - Peter. This geezer wants
286
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:39,440
a decision by tonight. Sorry.'
287
00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:42,120
We'll manage.
288
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:50,680
What do you think? Pretty much
to the point. What about what's in
the window? Not our worry now.
289
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:55,360
Well...
think we did the right thing?
290
00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:58,600
Definitely.
291
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:02,360
Now comes the difficult part.
292
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:09,760
Hi, I'm home. Any messages? No.
293
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:09,760
DAVID: Dad, we're waiting for you.
294
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:14,920
What's this - judgement at
295
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:14,920
Nuremberg? Ben, sit down. What?
296
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:18,120
Sit down, Dad. What's going on?
297
00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:24,400
I think the head of the house
should have... Be quiet! Yes.
298
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:30,600
I'm afraid I've had to give up
my job. What?But you said...
299
00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:37,800
Just listen. Rona and I resigned
because of sexual harassment.
Mother, there's a child here.
300
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:41,120
I know. The man puts... Not now.
301
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:49,040
Anyway, there'll be less money.
I'm afraid there will have to be
302
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:49,040
sacrifices.
303
00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:56,000
What? So if you two go upstairs,
your father and I will slug it out
304
00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:56,000
till one of us is dead.
305
00:25:56,000 --> 00:26:03,280
Unemployed!
306
00:25:56,000 --> 00:26:03,280
Can we afford food?
307
00:25:56,000 --> 00:26:03,280
Shut up and get in the oven.
308
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:12,720
So, you both resigned?
More or less. Which? Less.
309
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:16,120
I found a buyer for the car.
310
00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:22,680
So what's the plan? Keep most
of the money and buy a wreck.
311
00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:22,680
I guess so.
312
00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:28,200
That should tide us over
for a while. Yeah... What is it?
313
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:34,360
I wanted to keep it till Saturday.
Why?HE MUTTERS What?
314
00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:38,040
I want to enter the Chelsea Cruise.
315
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:41,240
I'm sorry.
316
00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:43,280
I know.
317
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:53,360
Ben... What?
We DO need the money.
318
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:58,280
Don't look at me like Bambi.
319
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:02,360
You never really grew up
at all, did you?
320
00:27:02,360 --> 00:27:06,320
Sometimes I feel like your mother.
You grew up too much.
321
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:13,440
They say a man's at his sexual peak
at sixteen. Aw, Mum - you're
embarrassing me.
322
00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:18,120
All right, I'll phone Pete and get
him to send the bloke round.
323
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:28,240
Hello? Oh, no...
What are you doing?
324
00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:33,160
I was just thinking... What?
Money isn't everything.
325
00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:53,400
# Fairy tales can come true
326
00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:53,400
It can happen to you
327
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:57,880
# If you're young at heart
328
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:05,120
# For it's hard, you will find,
329
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:05,120
To be narrow of mind
330
00:28:05,120 --> 00:28:08,400
# If you're young at heart
331
00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:16,840
# You can go to extremes
332
00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:16,840
With impossible schemes
333
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:22,640
# You can laugh when your dreams
334
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:22,640
Fall apart at the seams
335
00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:28,640
# And life gets more exciting
336
00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:28,640
with each passing day
337
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:34,440
# And love is either in your heart
338
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:34,440
Or on its way
339
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:39,480
# Don't you know that it's worth
340
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:39,480
Every treasure on earth
341
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:43,360
# To be young at heart
342
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:51,080
# For as rich as you are
343
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:51,080
It's much better by far
344
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:54,880
# To be young at heart
345
00:28:54,880 --> 00:29:01,680
# And if you should survive
Till one hundred and five
346
00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:08,840
# Look at all you'll derive
Out of being ali-i-ive
347
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:14,040
# Here is the best part:
you have a head start
348
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:22,600
# If you are among
349
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:22,600
the very young at heart! #
350
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:27,640
Subtitles by Eithne Thomson
BBC Scotland, 1991
28612
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