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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:31,720 That car is really cool! 2 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:31,720 Yeah, it's "brill". 3 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:36,480 Will you drive us to school? I suppose so.Right to the gate? 4 00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:40,800 Well, round the corner. 5 00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:40,800 < That's not fair. 6 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:47,480 Now you've got a nice car, you're self-conscious. 7 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:47,480 Can Sammy and I sit in it? 8 00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:51,920 No. As soon as we can we'll be selling it. 9 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:56,720 Will we, Dad? Hmm. You heard your father. 10 00:00:56,720 --> 00:01:03,040 Why can't we keep it? Because we need the money. And it drinks petrol. 11 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:10,840 Sammy drinks petrol. Sammy would. 12 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:10,840 Take these upstairs and put them away. And do something to your bed! 13 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:14,000 What? Burn it. 14 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:20,760 The only decent thing we've got and she's selling it. She might buy a Lada. 15 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:27,760 You wouldn't! Mmm, yes. I think a nice brown Lada 16 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:27,760 is the thing for us. 17 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:33,800 If you ever park a Lada outside, I'm LEAVING. Buy one! 18 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:38,400 Oh, please... I think I might have my tubes tied. 19 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:43,320 Have them done in a slip-knot. Covers all eventualities. There... 20 00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:48,680 Are you sure it wasn't knocked off? Yes. The last owner didn't need it. 21 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:53,680 Hello. This is Ben Porter. Please leave your message after the tone. 22 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:56,680 Hang on - see what you think. 23 00:01:56,680 --> 00:02:02,160 'This is Margaret Thatcher. Please leave your message after the tone.' 24 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:05,560 Well? Where did you get THAT ? 25 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:08,840 It's a joke tape. It'd better be! 26 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:15,200 Can I go and play with Sammy? Where?Round at Judith's. Her mum's there. OK. 27 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:21,880 But I want you back at seven. Thanks, Mum. And don't come back. 28 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:30,120 I was thinking... We are not keeping that car. You agreed. 29 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:30,120 We discussed it. 30 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:35,920 You gave me a chinese burn. I did not. You might like driving it. 31 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:43,840 HORN PLAYS "DIXIE" 32 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:43,840 Sorry! 33 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:58,320 BLAST OF "DIXIE" 34 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:58,320 It's very sensitive.Bloody yuppie! 35 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:58,520 ANOTHER BLAST OF "DIXIE" 36 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:23,400 What lovely Chrysanthemums. 37 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:46,200 Is something wrong? 38 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:46,200 Won't be a moment. Why are you looking like that?Sorry? 39 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:54,240 They're all doing it now. Could you step in and see Dawn? Dawn?Yes. 40 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:57,600 Who the hell is Dawn? 41 00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:08,120 SING-SONG SYNTHETIC TONE: 42 00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:08,120 Hello, Mrs Porter. I'm Dawn, your personal banker. 43 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:13,000 I'm sorr . I'm Dawn, your personal banker. 44 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:17,440 No, I was just speaking my mind. What's all this about? 45 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:23,520 It is OUR policy to give each of our customers their own personal banker 46 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:31,360 to deal personally with all their banking needs. Yes, there seems 47 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:31,360 to be a problem with my cheque. 48 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:36,840 It IS our policy for customers to consult with their personal banker 49 00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:44,040 to plan their financial profiles vis-a-vis our current financial 50 00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:44,040 liquidity restrictions. 51 00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:48,720 I'm consulting you now. Can I have my £30 ? 52 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:51,400 Errrrr...no. 53 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:56,840 Look, my salary should have been paid in. Can't I have some money? 54 00:05:56,840 --> 00:06:01,920 It IS our policy to set aside no contingency funds 55 00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:08,200 unless customers have made prior arrangement for suitable amounts. 56 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:11,200 Do you talk like that at home? 57 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:14,960 Like what? In that strange voice. 58 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:19,000 Of course not. 59 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:19,000 Then why do it to me? 60 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:22,200 Because I'm your personal banker. 61 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:30,720 Well, could I make an arrangement with you now?It is our policy... 62 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:30,720 Dawn... 63 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:38,440 As my personal banker perhaps you could give me some advice. 64 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:38,440 Yes, Mrs Porter? 65 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:43,120 We're both women. Now I don't know if you have a home and a job, 66 00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:48,520 but I need some money to pay the milkman and buy some petrol. 67 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:53,520 Can you tell me, as clearly as possible, what my chances are? 68 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:58,840 Bugger all, I'm afraid. 69 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:08,080 Oh, terrific (!) 70 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:15,400 Very convincing (!) 71 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:22,840 < Out on the town? 72 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:29,240 I've just been blocked in by the world-famous bricklaying midwife. 73 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:34,760 Probably gone for chips. Won't be long. I've only got 20 minutes. 74 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:41,720 It's a nice car. Yes, if your name's 75 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:41,720 Bobby Sue and you're Elvis's illegitimate daughter. 76 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:46,440 I think it suits you. Do you? 77 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:49,800 So, how's it going then? 78 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:56,080 I've been told by an air-hostess that I can't cash my cheque. 79 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:56,080 Money isn't everything. 80 00:07:56,080 --> 00:08:02,800 Yeah, and everything in my account isn't money.Things change. Not my things. 81 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:10,200 Sometimes we have to change them. 82 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:10,200 Yes, but what things do we change? And when? 83 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:15,640 It's all quite a game, isn't it? Here they come! Best be off. 84 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:18,800 I'll be seeing you. 85 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:49,280 What's wrong with Paddy's? You're always eating fast food. 86 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:49,280 I've got a fast mouth. 87 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:57,040 What's this detour really in aid of? 88 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:57,040 Gosh, Skippy, sometimes you're almost human. I'm expecting a call. 89 00:08:57,040 --> 00:09:02,080 ANSAFONE: 'This is Dave. We got that 175 by 17 90 00:08:57,040 --> 00:09:02,080 double rad. See you. 91 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:07,000 BLEEP 92 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:07,000 'Hello, my pump's broken down...' 93 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:10,280 This is riveting... Ssshh! 94 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:17,680 BLEEP 'Hi, it's Peter. That bloke's dead 95 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:17,680 keen on the car. He's offering 3½. 96 00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:21,000 'I'll keep him hot - OK ?' 97 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:25,960 'Hello, it's me again. My pump is red hot...' Bloody obscene calls. 98 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:31,360 Are you gonna sell it? All in the fullness of time.I don't get it. 99 00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:34,320 Not till Saturday.Why Saturday? 100 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:42,480 Picture it, the Chelsea Embankment. End to end, as far as the eye can 101 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:42,480 see, with groovy motors. 102 00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:47,480 The Firebird, the V8, the Ford Fairlaine, the Lincoln Continental. 103 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:53,280 And there - in the centre of it all in the '57 Chevvy sits... 104 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:55,760 Stevie Wonder? 105 00:09:57,240 --> 00:10:04,120 ME, you dickhead, me. The wild and crazy heating engineer. Oh, I get it. Finally. 106 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:08,760 You don't want Bill to know. 107 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:08,760 I'll tell her myself. 108 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:12,600 You're afraid of her. Me? Afraid? 109 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:15,200 What was THAT ? 110 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:22,600 AUSTRALIAN ACCENT: 111 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:22,600 ..Last week they were 3 down and old Jenkie's got two behinds. 112 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:31,280 Yeah, I know.Then Morrissey plays 113 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:31,280 the marks from Ayres and sticks one right between the bigguns! Yes. 114 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:34,400 Er...I asked for a pie. 115 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:41,680 Oh, sorry. I don't know what I was thinking of. You're the only one who doesn't... 116 00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:50,040 Yeah, it's definitely the Hawks 117 00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:50,040 for the finals, that's assuming they get a fair nibble of Nobbie's nuts. 118 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:53,280 Well...I'll be seeing you. 119 00:10:56,400 --> 00:11:01,920 Did you see that behind? 120 00:10:56,400 --> 00:11:01,920 I prefer Jenkie. He's got TWO ! 121 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:09,480 That's just an expression. Oh, Moby Dick! I forgot to put my name and number on his new bag. 122 00:11:09,560 --> 00:11:13,200 Maybe the baker would ice it on our cakes. 123 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:18,600 I thought he was cute. You didn't understand a word he was saying. 124 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:23,560 I did. It was Australian Football. You don't know anything about it. 125 00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:27,080 Yes, I do. What are the rules then? 126 00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:32,880 There's 22 of them...and they all wear tiny little shorts. 127 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:40,840 And they run about grabbing each other...and it's very muddy. Rona. What? You're drooling. 128 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:47,880 I'm not. Oh, look - it's chucking out time at Nursery.Hello, girls. 129 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:53,200 Why so glum, darling? Aren't I the man of your dreams? 130 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:56,680 You look like Freddie Kruger, yes. 131 00:11:56,680 --> 00:12:03,680 I like 'em with a sense of humour. Do I hear the kettle boiling, darlin'? I don't think so. 132 00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:10,600 Well, it must be your hot steaming passion then. No, it's the kettle! 133 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:16,640 Don't you love those moments alone, eh? Yes. Go away. 134 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:20,640 Darling, please! Let's not forget who I am. 135 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:26,120 I hold your little job in my hand, so how about a little respect, eh? 136 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:31,640 What do you want? 137 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:31,640 The challenge of change, my lovely. 138 00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:38,960 As of today, I'll be calling every day to take your large notes to the bank. We'll look forward to that (!) 139 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:45,680 Could save us a thousand a month. Here we are...Thanks. 140 00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:49,320 Evaporated milk AND lemon, was it? 141 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:54,920 "Mr" Castell is going to visit us more often.What's this? 142 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:59,480 It's a cheque. It's only for thirty pounds. 143 00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:04,440 We have a little rule about cashing personal cheques. Remember? 144 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:08,200 He means the "No cashing cheques" rule. 145 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:15,920 I had to. You haven't paid my wages in.I'm paying it in with this. 146 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:15,920 So I took it OUT of that. 147 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:22,920 Anticipation, girls - anticipation. You need to think ahead a little. 148 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:22,920 Have a bit of spare. 149 00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:26,160 I always do. 150 00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:31,880 Ciao! 151 00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:37,640 Eeeeugh! Like a dose of rabies. 152 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:44,680 What are you going to do? Put the money back. I'll sleep with 153 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:44,680 the milkman. Ben'll understand. 154 00:13:44,680 --> 00:13:50,480 And the garage man? Him, too. It'll give the milkman company. 155 00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:55,400 Where's that bag I put my number on...? It was just there... 156 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:59,840 Oh-oh. What? It's for you-hoo! 157 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:03,360 Oh, God...! 158 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:08,840 Mum's coming. 159 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:08,840 Oh, no. 160 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:08,840 Why? 161 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:13,320 Nothing. 162 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:13,320 Really? 163 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:13,320 Yeah! 164 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:18,400 She doesn't look happy. 165 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:18,400 Shut up! 166 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:21,080 I think she's in a bad mood. 167 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:25,080 Get out of it! 168 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:25,080 CAT YOWLS 169 00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:29,680 Yep - you're gonna die. 170 00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:29,680 Leave me alone! 171 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:37,640 Why does every cat in London use our garden to do its business? 172 00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:42,320 I'll print a sign, "Cat Toilets"! Any messages?No. 173 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:46,600 David!I'm doing my Maths! What's going on? 174 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:52,320 How should I know? Mum...can I have some money for the cinema? 175 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:58,280 Sorry, don't have any.Why not? I blew it all on male prostitutes! 176 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:05,840 Mother! Well, how much is it? It's only four pounds. Dream on. 177 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:11,800 DOORBELL It's not that much. I can remember 178 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:11,800 when you could buy a meal for that. 179 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:17,440 Mrs Porter? Yes?Your David's been playing with my Judith. Oh, yes? 180 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:21,760 DAVID ! They want to see you! 181 00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:29,560 Hello, sweetness. Hello. Any messages? Ben, we have to talk. 182 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:35,360 I was going to tell you. What? Nothing! Where are the kids? 183 00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:41,480 I lent Jenny my last £5. David's upstairs. I told him to wait till you came home. 184 00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:47,480 This isn't the doomsday scenario? You said it was like the nuclear 185 00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:47,480 deterrent. 186 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:53,560 But you don't USE the deterrent. Wait till you hear what he's done. 187 00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:58,600 I'm too...nice for all that. I've just had Judith's mother here. 188 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:05,080 She found David, Sammy and Judith in her shed - playing cards. Is that all? 189 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:08,280 Naked. 190 00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:13,200 Naked?! They were playing Strip Happy Families. 191 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:18,360 The randy little devil! Of course he claims it was Sammy's idea. 192 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:24,080 "Do you have Mr Snip, the tailor?" "Get your knickers off!" Stop it! 193 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:31,640 You nearly laughed! It's not funny. Anyway, I'm going round to Sammy's. They shouldn't be playing together. 194 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:39,320 I want you to talk to David. And You Know What I Mean? What...? 195 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:44,000 That's it. Your time has come. No problem. 196 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:49,200 I'll be about an hour. Tell him everything you know. In an hour? 197 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:53,640 That's right... The rest of the time's your own. 198 00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:57,440 It usually is. 199 00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:22,440 Come through, will you? 200 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:28,200 Donna! See to Bobby, will you? He wants changing. 201 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:35,800 I'm sorry about the mess. I've got four including Sammy and my dad's 202 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:35,800 not much use. He's lost his arm. 203 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:41,880 David said he lost it in the war. Originally. But now he's lost the false one. 204 00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:46,920 God knows where it is. He's had more arms than Saddam Hussein! 205 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:51,840 Dad! We've got visitors. 206 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:51,840 < I'm just making tea. 207 00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:55,400 That'll only take about 6 hours. 208 00:17:55,400 --> 00:18:03,200 He used to put his arm in the window with two fingers sticking up on it - for when the social worker was due. 209 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:08,000 Oh, do sit down, won't you? Thanks. 210 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:12,120 There you are. Are you gonna sit down there? 211 00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:19,760 I've come about Sammy. Oh, yes. The little bugger admits it was all his idea. 212 00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:27,000 I'm sure David was just as much to blame.No. He's been like 213 00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:27,000 a devil since his dad left me. 214 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:35,480 I'm sorry, I didn't know. What he didn't drink, he put on the dogs. An' he used to hit me. 215 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:40,000 God, how I miss him. 216 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:40,000 CRASHING 217 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:44,040 Not another teapot. Donna! Help your grandad! 218 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:48,200 < I don't need any help! 219 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:48,200 MORE CRASHING 220 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:54,480 I've come about David and Sammy playing together.Oh, yeah, I'm glad. 221 00:18:54,480 --> 00:19:00,280 Sammy hasn't got many friends. Most kids just make fun of his clothes. 222 00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:05,320 I do what I can on the Social, but...well, you know, it's not easy. 223 00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:09,840 He's been a lot happier since he's been seeing David. 224 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:14,160 Um...Mrs...?Oh, it's Bryan. You can call me Marie. 225 00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:19,200 Marie...I think Sammy and David 226 00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:19,200 are... 227 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:23,680 Are going to be great friends. Good. 228 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:27,760 So... 229 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:30,600 This girls business... 230 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:33,840 Mind if I have a drink?No. Good. 231 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:38,320 Can I have one? Sure. 232 00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:55,920 Right... Let's get down to the facts. 233 00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:04,480 So you want to know what girls look like? Well... 234 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:09,040 Go on, be my guest. Don't be shy. Go on... 235 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:19,320 What do you think? Do they ALL look like that? 236 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:24,720 That's a fact. Do anything for you? Me, neither. 237 00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:28,160 They look stupid. 238 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:36,960 Yes, they're quite possibly the stupidest women in the world. You won't learn anything from this. 239 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:42,080 The only place you're going to find out about girls is from me.Right. 240 00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:47,960 The fact of the matter is women... 241 00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:52,320 are NOT of this Earth. 242 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:58,560 Notice how they always go quiet 243 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:58,560 when you walk into a room? 244 00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:02,120 They've been speaking Woman language. 245 00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:08,800 Why don't they like football? Because they have an alien intelligence. 246 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:12,920 Why do they want to run off and get married? 247 00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:18,720 So that eventually every man will be a slave to the planet Woo-man! 248 00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:27,040 That's not true. Isn't it? They're just the same as us. 249 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:31,400 My son, you have the beginnings 250 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:31,400 of wisdom. 251 00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:34,120 Now... 252 00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:38,080 'Bye. 253 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:03,720 DOG BARKS 254 00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:19,640 ..Supposed to be playing this Sun. But I've pulled a muscle. Oh? 255 00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:24,480 Yeah, he got me right here... All knotted up. You should feel it. 256 00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:29,440 The physio reckons manipulation might help. Probably. 257 00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:34,600 Don't suppose you know anyone who might give me a massage? Not really. 258 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:40,640 Well, if you hear of anyone...? I suppose so. 'Bye.See you. 259 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:48,360 Do I know you? What? Only I was expecting Rona in today. 260 00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:52,280 I don't understand. Didn't you hear what he was saying? 261 00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:55,760 I wasn't really listening. 262 00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:58,800 Rona, are you all right? 263 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:04,640 You may as well know, I had a call last night from..."Ciao!" 264 00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:09,960 Little creep. What did he want? 265 00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:09,960 Oh...you know. 266 00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:13,120 You didn't agree to meet him? 267 00:23:13,120 --> 00:23:19,720 I couldn't get him off the phone. He kept making suggestions... What? 268 00:23:13,120 --> 00:23:19,720 About doing things. 269 00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:24,640 How dare he! Oh, I've done them. But he made them seem dirty. 270 00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:28,480 You can't. You know what'll happen. 271 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:34,040 So I sleep with him? We keep our jobs. He'd only be one of many. 272 00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:41,560 OK, you sleep around. But when did you sleep with a man you didn't want? It's always been your choice. 273 00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:45,760 All right, don't go on, Bill. 274 00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:45,760 'Afternoon, my lovelies. 275 00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:49,920 How about a cuddle? 276 00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:49,920 Excuse me...What's up with her? 277 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:56,320 Can't you tell?She was coming on 278 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:56,320 strong last night. Begging for it! 279 00:23:56,320 --> 00:24:03,640 Why don't you leave her alone? Jealous, are we? Don't worry, 280 00:23:56,320 --> 00:24:03,640 I've got plenty left for you. 281 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:10,960 It's time you realised I am not a bonking machine. And neither, 282 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:10,960 for that matter, is Rona. 283 00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:15,680 Rona? Come off it! Everybody knows she's a slag! 284 00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:27,480 Mr Castell, would you step into the back with me for a moment?Sure. 285 00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:39,440 BLEEP 'Ben - Peter. This geezer wants 286 00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:39,440 a decision by tonight. Sorry.' 287 00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:42,120 We'll manage. 288 00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:50,680 What do you think? Pretty much to the point. What about what's in the window? Not our worry now. 289 00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:55,360 Well... think we did the right thing? 290 00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:58,600 Definitely. 291 00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:02,360 Now comes the difficult part. 292 00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:09,760 Hi, I'm home. Any messages? No. 293 00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:09,760 DAVID: Dad, we're waiting for you. 294 00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:14,920 What's this - judgement at 295 00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:14,920 Nuremberg? Ben, sit down. What? 296 00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:18,120 Sit down, Dad. What's going on? 297 00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:24,400 I think the head of the house should have... Be quiet! Yes. 298 00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:30,600 I'm afraid I've had to give up my job. What?But you said... 299 00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:37,800 Just listen. Rona and I resigned because of sexual harassment. Mother, there's a child here. 300 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:41,120 I know. The man puts... Not now. 301 00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:49,040 Anyway, there'll be less money. I'm afraid there will have to be 302 00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:49,040 sacrifices. 303 00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:56,000 What? So if you two go upstairs, your father and I will slug it out 304 00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:56,000 till one of us is dead. 305 00:25:56,000 --> 00:26:03,280 Unemployed! 306 00:25:56,000 --> 00:26:03,280 Can we afford food? 307 00:25:56,000 --> 00:26:03,280 Shut up and get in the oven. 308 00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:12,720 So, you both resigned? More or less. Which? Less. 309 00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:16,120 I found a buyer for the car. 310 00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:22,680 So what's the plan? Keep most of the money and buy a wreck. 311 00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:22,680 I guess so. 312 00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:28,200 That should tide us over for a while. Yeah... What is it? 313 00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:34,360 I wanted to keep it till Saturday. Why?HE MUTTERS What? 314 00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:38,040 I want to enter the Chelsea Cruise. 315 00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:41,240 I'm sorry. 316 00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:43,280 I know. 317 00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:53,360 Ben... What? We DO need the money. 318 00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:58,280 Don't look at me like Bambi. 319 00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:02,360 You never really grew up at all, did you? 320 00:27:02,360 --> 00:27:06,320 Sometimes I feel like your mother. You grew up too much. 321 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:13,440 They say a man's at his sexual peak at sixteen. Aw, Mum - you're embarrassing me. 322 00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:18,120 All right, I'll phone Pete and get him to send the bloke round. 323 00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:28,240 Hello? Oh, no... What are you doing? 324 00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:33,160 I was just thinking... What? Money isn't everything. 325 00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:53,400 # Fairy tales can come true 326 00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:53,400 It can happen to you 327 00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:57,880 # If you're young at heart 328 00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:05,120 # For it's hard, you will find, 329 00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:05,120 To be narrow of mind 330 00:28:05,120 --> 00:28:08,400 # If you're young at heart 331 00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:16,840 # You can go to extremes 332 00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:16,840 With impossible schemes 333 00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:22,640 # You can laugh when your dreams 334 00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:22,640 Fall apart at the seams 335 00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:28,640 # And life gets more exciting 336 00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:28,640 with each passing day 337 00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:34,440 # And love is either in your heart 338 00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:34,440 Or on its way 339 00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:39,480 # Don't you know that it's worth 340 00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:39,480 Every treasure on earth 341 00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:43,360 # To be young at heart 342 00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:51,080 # For as rich as you are 343 00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:51,080 It's much better by far 344 00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:54,880 # To be young at heart 345 00:28:54,880 --> 00:29:01,680 # And if you should survive Till one hundred and five 346 00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:08,840 # Look at all you'll derive Out of being ali-i-ive 347 00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:14,040 # Here is the best part: you have a head start 348 00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:22,600 # If you are among 349 00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:22,600 the very young at heart! # 350 00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:27,640 Subtitles by Eithne Thomson BBC Scotland, 1991 28612

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