Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,112 --> 00:00:04,078
Previously on "You Me Her"...
2
00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:05,155
Clomid time.
3
00:00:05,157 --> 00:00:07,541
- You must really want a kid.
- I must.
4
00:00:07,543 --> 00:00:09,237
My professional recommendation
5
00:00:09,239 --> 00:00:11,102
- would be surrogacy.
- Well, how do we start?
6
00:00:11,104 --> 00:00:13,898
Uh, how about we start
with a conversation?
7
00:00:13,900 --> 00:00:16,607
- What are you guys talking about?
- We want you to have our baby.
8
00:00:17,277 --> 00:00:19,144
Like, our baby. All three of us.
9
00:00:19,146 --> 00:00:22,081
It kind of feels like, like we're
supposed to do this together.
10
00:00:22,083 --> 00:00:24,652
Does no one think we should just,
like, hit the brakes just a little?
11
00:00:24,653 --> 00:00:26,346
We're just going to
delay the announcement
12
00:00:26,348 --> 00:00:28,131
of your promotion a couple of weeks.
13
00:00:28,133 --> 00:00:29,413
Did I hear you say that you were...
14
00:00:29,414 --> 00:00:31,311
I hate my boss and I
want to quit my job?
15
00:00:31,313 --> 00:00:33,793
You know how long I've
wanted to start my own firm.
16
00:00:33,795 --> 00:00:35,193
Fuck! Fuck me!
17
00:00:35,195 --> 00:00:36,900
Actually, I was yelling at my boss.
18
00:00:36,902 --> 00:00:38,916
She found out I was
scouting office space,
19
00:00:38,918 --> 00:00:41,651
so she's blackballing me at
the few places I can afford.
20
00:00:41,653 --> 00:00:42,939
So much for women helping women.
21
00:00:42,941 --> 00:00:44,883
I'm not a woman. I'm an architect.
22
00:00:44,885 --> 00:00:46,117
- What's this?
- Hey.
23
00:00:46,118 --> 00:00:47,282
Coolest firm in Seattle.
24
00:00:47,284 --> 00:00:49,374
Thanks so much, Kylie. I don't...
I don't even know what to say.
25
00:00:49,375 --> 00:00:51,669
Everyone at Pinnacle
is buzzing about me.
26
00:00:51,671 --> 00:00:52,723
Wha-a-a-a-t?
27
00:00:52,725 --> 00:00:53,842
I'm buzz-worthy.
28
00:00:53,844 --> 00:00:56,575
Have you crossed into
seriously considering this?
29
00:00:56,577 --> 00:00:59,505
I have no fucking clue who I am or...
30
00:00:59,507 --> 00:01:00,802
or what I want.
31
00:01:00,804 --> 00:01:02,835
I think we both know what you want.
32
00:01:02,837 --> 00:01:05,154
So any old-dude advice on how to get it?
33
00:01:05,156 --> 00:01:06,511
Go big.
34
00:01:08,893 --> 00:01:12,238
Emma, Izzy, will you
start a family with me?
35
00:01:16,095 --> 00:01:17,230
Um...
36
00:01:29,053 --> 00:01:30,587
Um...
37
00:01:31,096 --> 00:01:33,564
O... okay, I, um...
38
00:01:33,565 --> 00:01:35,275
I'm really into the "us" part
39
00:01:35,277 --> 00:01:38,279
and... the "love" part, but...
40
00:01:38,281 --> 00:01:40,028
as far as this whole
"family" thing goes,
41
00:01:40,030 --> 00:01:43,100
I mean, didn't we just enter this
musing phase, like, yesterday?
42
00:01:44,776 --> 00:01:46,938
Not the reaction I was expecting.
43
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:49,274
Well, what Jack is proposing
44
00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:53,146
is actually called "reciprocal
in vitro fertilization."
45
00:01:53,385 --> 00:01:54,986
It basically means that,
46
00:01:54,987 --> 00:01:58,312
um, we'd be bringing
two women to the party
47
00:01:58,314 --> 00:02:00,149
instead of one.
48
00:02:00,715 --> 00:02:01,915
Um...
49
00:02:01,917 --> 00:02:04,627
sorry, but kneeling is
a... young man's game.
50
00:02:04,629 --> 00:02:06,362
Oh, sorry. Here.
51
00:02:06,364 --> 00:02:07,518
- Uh...
- Just...
52
00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:09,654
Yeah, let's sit. I'm a little dizzy.
53
00:02:09,656 --> 00:02:10,924
Okay.
54
00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:14,210
Whew.
55
00:02:22,938 --> 00:02:25,012
How do you know all that in vitro stuff?
56
00:02:26,151 --> 00:02:27,719
Interwebs.
57
00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:29,315
So, you've been researching.
58
00:02:29,317 --> 00:02:30,784
Which means...
59
00:02:30,786 --> 00:02:31,946
that you're open to the idea.
60
00:02:32,437 --> 00:02:33,772
Yeah.
61
00:02:35,281 --> 00:02:36,815
In fact, um...
62
00:02:37,954 --> 00:02:40,954
I did some Yelping for IVF clinics,
63
00:02:40,956 --> 00:02:43,091
and I made an appointment.
64
00:02:44,937 --> 00:02:46,485
Relax, it... it...
65
00:02:46,487 --> 00:02:47,716
there was a cancellation.
66
00:02:47,718 --> 00:02:49,574
The next opening was six weeks away,
67
00:02:49,575 --> 00:02:52,611
and we can totally wait
if that's what you want.
68
00:02:53,515 --> 00:02:54,881
Appointment to what?
69
00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:57,423
- To make us pregnant?
- No, what... no, no.
70
00:02:57,425 --> 00:02:58,716
It's just a consultation...
71
00:02:58,717 --> 00:03:02,295
just to make sure that the, you
know, option is even on the table.
72
00:03:02,297 --> 00:03:04,512
It's still your eggs, Em.
73
00:03:04,514 --> 00:03:06,942
- We'd all have to agree.
- Yeah.
74
00:03:07,348 --> 00:03:08,632
When is this appointment?
75
00:03:08,634 --> 00:03:10,568
4:00.
76
00:03:10,639 --> 00:03:11,920
Tomorrow.
77
00:03:19,531 --> 00:03:20,868
Honey, it's just...
78
00:03:20,870 --> 00:03:22,479
Yeah, no, I... I heard.
79
00:03:23,026 --> 00:03:24,499
It's just a consultation.
80
00:03:24,501 --> 00:03:26,436
Are you mad? 'Cause we can...
81
00:03:26,438 --> 00:03:28,446
we can totally blow it
off. I can call them back.
82
00:03:28,448 --> 00:03:30,682
No, no. I'm not mad.
83
00:03:33,620 --> 00:03:35,821
I don't even know what I am.
84
00:03:41,085 --> 00:03:42,628
And I don't know if...
85
00:03:44,646 --> 00:03:46,653
You know, I'm not sure
if I still want a...
86
00:03:46,655 --> 00:03:48,623
You're not sure that
you still want a baby?
87
00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:51,240
Well, fuck.
88
00:03:51,242 --> 00:03:53,303
That would certainly change things.
89
00:03:53,437 --> 00:03:55,172
Seven years, Jack.
90
00:03:56,521 --> 00:03:58,709
I think part of me just surrendered.
91
00:03:58,710 --> 00:04:00,122
Okay, but...
92
00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:02,565
what if you knew that it would work?
93
00:04:02,567 --> 00:04:05,700
What if you knew the three
of us could start a family?
94
00:04:05,702 --> 00:04:07,170
Would you feel differently?
95
00:04:14,335 --> 00:04:16,152
You really did all this?
96
00:04:21,401 --> 00:04:22,941
You think I'm crazy?
97
00:04:22,943 --> 00:04:24,101
No.
98
00:04:24,464 --> 00:04:26,816
Well, maybe a little.
99
00:04:27,985 --> 00:04:29,053
So?
100
00:04:32,353 --> 00:04:34,384
So...
101
00:04:34,824 --> 00:04:36,118
let's do this.
102
00:04:38,092 --> 00:04:40,037
- Yeah?
- But just... just the consultation.
103
00:04:40,039 --> 00:04:41,888
Okay, guys? Just one step at a time.
104
00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:42,969
Yeah.
105
00:04:42,971 --> 00:04:44,598
- Fair?
- Definitely.
106
00:04:44,723 --> 00:04:47,449
Okay, please tell me you did
not stage this whole production
107
00:04:47,451 --> 00:04:48,985
with one bottle of champagne.
108
00:04:48,987 --> 00:04:51,789
Oh, silly potential baby mama...
109
00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:53,325
- No.
- Okay, good.
110
00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:54,910
'Cause this lady right here might be
111
00:04:54,912 --> 00:04:57,864
staring down nine months
of cold, hard sobriety.
112
00:04:58,104 --> 00:05:00,339
So let's pop some corks, dickheads.
113
00:06:17,998 --> 00:06:19,451
Em.
114
00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:20,786
Yeah?
115
00:06:20,788 --> 00:06:22,784
- You okay?
- Mm-hmm.
116
00:06:26,110 --> 00:06:27,828
What time is it?
117
00:06:27,830 --> 00:06:29,235
6:30.
118
00:06:30,505 --> 00:06:32,170
Wait, what day is it?
119
00:06:32,388 --> 00:06:33,615
Tuesday.
120
00:06:33,617 --> 00:06:35,018
Fuck!
121
00:06:42,866 --> 00:06:44,142
What's wrong?
122
00:06:44,143 --> 00:06:46,479
Izzy went AWOL again last night.
123
00:06:47,525 --> 00:06:50,392
I think she's gonna have
a baby with the Griswalds.
124
00:06:50,394 --> 00:06:53,485
Not, like, today, but...
125
00:06:53,571 --> 00:06:54,905
soon-ish.
126
00:06:58,321 --> 00:07:00,825
You got to be fucking kidding me.
127
00:07:00,990 --> 00:07:02,235
Mnh-mnh.
128
00:07:02,391 --> 00:07:05,030
She's gonna be
double-married with children.
129
00:07:05,031 --> 00:07:06,434
I can't imagine how our lives
130
00:07:06,436 --> 00:07:09,473
could possibly diverge
more dramatically.
131
00:07:09,973 --> 00:07:11,736
You could be single.
132
00:07:13,340 --> 00:07:15,675
I am single.
133
00:07:23,245 --> 00:07:25,380
Is there something that you want to say?
134
00:07:25,492 --> 00:07:27,135
No, I just...
135
00:07:27,137 --> 00:07:31,441
I don't want to get all
romantic again and scare you off.
136
00:07:32,874 --> 00:07:34,875
I don't... I don't want you to be...
137
00:07:34,877 --> 00:07:36,812
single.
138
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:42,255
Way to ruin everything.
139
00:07:42,257 --> 00:07:44,135
I know, I'm a fucking asshole.
140
00:07:44,136 --> 00:07:45,604
You're gonna have to go now.
141
00:07:49,170 --> 00:07:51,431
I haven't had a boyfriend since...
142
00:07:51,433 --> 00:07:53,142
Cross-country drive to...
143
00:07:53,144 --> 00:07:54,808
- Brown University.
- Mm.
144
00:07:57,205 --> 00:07:59,728
We don't need, like, a label.
145
00:07:59,730 --> 00:08:01,328
We could just...
146
00:08:01,330 --> 00:08:02,597
Will you...
147
00:08:02,881 --> 00:08:04,215
be my boyfriend?
148
00:08:07,663 --> 00:08:09,254
Yeah.
149
00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:13,178
- We have a fucking test!
- Fucking test?
150
00:08:13,180 --> 00:08:15,099
We have a fucking test?!
151
00:08:15,592 --> 00:08:17,035
Huh.
152
00:08:17,036 --> 00:08:18,613
You guys made up.
153
00:08:18,910 --> 00:08:22,073
Had the intercourse all
the kids are talking about.
154
00:08:22,074 --> 00:08:23,175
Uh...
155
00:08:23,926 --> 00:08:25,809
With this one? No, that's gross.
156
00:08:25,811 --> 00:08:27,323
We were studying for the test.
157
00:08:27,325 --> 00:08:28,146
Yeah, you were.
158
00:08:28,147 --> 00:08:30,290
You guys were studying each other's...
159
00:08:30,292 --> 00:08:32,181
yeah, this... that's
not going anywhere good,
160
00:08:32,183 --> 00:08:33,696
so, let's do some cramming.
161
00:08:33,698 --> 00:08:34,903
I'll be here.
162
00:08:39,792 --> 00:08:41,643
Hey, uh...
163
00:08:41,645 --> 00:08:42,674
girlfriend.
164
00:08:49,828 --> 00:08:51,395
Hey, boyfriend.
165
00:08:51,397 --> 00:08:52,532
Hey.
166
00:09:00,199 --> 00:09:01,637
I can hear you.
167
00:09:14,819 --> 00:09:17,038
Oh, man, I didn't set my alarm.
168
00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:18,669
Shh, shh, shh. I turned it off.
169
00:09:18,671 --> 00:09:19,879
Wh... what would you do that for?
170
00:09:19,881 --> 00:09:22,901
- You're gonna make me late for work.
- Do you hear that?
171
00:09:24,069 --> 00:09:26,736
- Hear what?
- Exactly.
172
00:09:26,738 --> 00:09:29,316
- Should we be concerned?
- No. I checked on them.
173
00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:30,941
Fast asleep.
174
00:09:30,942 --> 00:09:32,143
Oh, and alive.
175
00:09:32,144 --> 00:09:33,590
Oh.
176
00:09:33,592 --> 00:09:35,479
Alive is good, yeah.
177
00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:36,847
Did you drug them somehow?
178
00:09:36,848 --> 00:09:39,150
Well, is bourbon considered a drug?
179
00:09:39,151 --> 00:09:41,153
Oh, my God.
180
00:09:42,102 --> 00:09:43,543
Oh.
181
00:09:43,545 --> 00:09:45,797
Okay, so, uh...
182
00:09:46,758 --> 00:09:48,626
I'll just show up
late for work, I guess.
183
00:09:48,627 --> 00:09:51,430
With an inscrutable excuse.
184
00:09:53,105 --> 00:09:54,350
Let's be honest.
185
00:09:54,352 --> 00:09:55,870
I'm probably gonna tell
everybody in the office
186
00:09:55,871 --> 00:09:59,608
I'm having wild-animal
morning-sex with my wife.
187
00:10:00,772 --> 00:10:01,972
Men.
188
00:10:07,591 --> 00:10:08,858
Okay, I'm gonna tell everybody,
189
00:10:08,860 --> 00:10:10,347
including complete strangers.
190
00:10:10,348 --> 00:10:12,317
I'll probably tweet it, too.
191
00:10:18,123 --> 00:10:20,057
Okay.
192
00:10:20,058 --> 00:10:21,992
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
193
00:10:21,993 --> 00:10:24,596
- What's the hurry?
- It's...
194
00:10:25,365 --> 00:10:27,264
We got to get going. It's really late.
195
00:10:27,265 --> 00:10:29,400
You're the boss at your new job,
196
00:10:29,401 --> 00:10:31,068
I hate mine, so, uh,
197
00:10:31,069 --> 00:10:34,072
let's take a minute.
198
00:10:37,530 --> 00:10:38,530
Okay.
199
00:10:40,579 --> 00:10:43,654
What's the deal with your
starting your own firm thing?
200
00:10:43,656 --> 00:10:45,683
Well, rent's obscene,
201
00:10:45,684 --> 00:10:48,354
I basically can't hire anybody ever,
202
00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:49,575
and, um...
203
00:10:49,577 --> 00:10:53,077
yeah, this town already has about
ten more firms than it needs.
204
00:10:53,079 --> 00:10:54,662
So take a break...
205
00:10:55,448 --> 00:10:56,862
right?
206
00:10:57,002 --> 00:10:59,604
Can build up the firm from home.
207
00:10:59,965 --> 00:11:01,537
Maybe stay with the baby.
208
00:11:06,741 --> 00:11:09,679
Look, if you don't want
it, I don't want it, okay?
209
00:11:12,237 --> 00:11:15,773
You are the only man
I've ever really loved.
210
00:11:15,775 --> 00:11:17,977
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
211
00:11:19,129 --> 00:11:20,997
Might be 'cause you're mostly gay.
212
00:11:20,999 --> 00:11:22,800
Yeah.
213
00:11:22,802 --> 00:11:25,337
Sure. That explains it.
214
00:11:25,339 --> 00:11:27,666
Luckily my... pheromones
215
00:11:27,668 --> 00:11:30,495
just busted through this
lesbianic force field.
216
00:11:32,351 --> 00:11:33,684
I guess so.
217
00:11:34,545 --> 00:11:36,413
I'd do anything for you.
218
00:11:36,735 --> 00:11:39,120
You know that, right?
219
00:12:17,485 --> 00:12:19,448
Oh.
220
00:12:23,684 --> 00:12:26,219
Hey!
221
00:12:27,740 --> 00:12:29,674
Somebody's perky this morning.
222
00:12:29,676 --> 00:12:32,211
Yeah. You know, just feeling lighter.
223
00:12:32,213 --> 00:12:34,766
Letting all that bad stuff... go.
224
00:12:34,768 --> 00:12:36,569
Sounds like a poop thing. It's not.
225
00:12:36,571 --> 00:12:38,743
But anyway, I have a feeling
226
00:12:38,745 --> 00:12:42,400
that you are gonna have a
super-terrific day, neighbor.
227
00:12:42,625 --> 00:12:44,225
Are you on something?
228
00:12:44,227 --> 00:12:46,096
No.
229
00:12:47,351 --> 00:12:49,260
Okay, well, um...
230
00:12:49,921 --> 00:12:53,069
Thanks, Lori. You have a
super-terrific day, too.
231
00:12:53,071 --> 00:12:54,588
Oh, I will.
232
00:12:54,719 --> 00:12:56,101
Bye.
233
00:13:02,511 --> 00:13:04,112
Glad somebody's happy.
234
00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:07,954
I get to spend another
morning in the girl's bathroom
235
00:13:07,956 --> 00:13:10,751
trying to flush the scent of
asparagus urine out of my nostrils.
236
00:13:10,753 --> 00:13:12,898
Oh, I almost forgot.
237
00:13:16,934 --> 00:13:18,601
No fucking way.
238
00:13:18,603 --> 00:13:20,204
Yes fucking way.
239
00:13:20,306 --> 00:13:22,173
Fresh start, clean slate.
240
00:13:22,252 --> 00:13:24,253
But you do have to pay it forward.
241
00:13:24,255 --> 00:13:26,123
Meaning?
242
00:13:26,125 --> 00:13:28,527
Well, don't be an asshole.
243
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,627
This feels like a trap.
244
00:13:38,268 --> 00:13:40,503
Okay, it's noon o'clock somewhere.
245
00:13:40,505 --> 00:13:41,956
You know what?
246
00:13:41,958 --> 00:13:44,240
I am totally cool
leveraging the prospect
247
00:13:44,242 --> 00:13:47,318
of eventual pregnancy
as an excuse to drink...
248
00:13:47,536 --> 00:13:49,401
almost constantly.
249
00:13:49,403 --> 00:13:51,537
Hey, you know what the PSA says...
250
00:13:51,803 --> 00:13:54,654
"Friends don't let
friends binge-drink alone."
251
00:13:54,656 --> 00:13:55,967
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
252
00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:57,635
- So let's get it?
- Get it.
253
00:13:57,637 --> 00:13:58,861
- Get it.
- Get it, girl!
254
00:13:58,863 --> 00:14:00,398
Shaun, here we come.
255
00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:02,860
- You just snorted.
- I did a little bit.
256
00:14:07,733 --> 00:14:08,823
What?
257
00:14:08,825 --> 00:14:11,021
You start work in 47 minutes.
258
00:14:11,023 --> 00:14:12,223
That... That's at noon.
259
00:14:12,224 --> 00:14:13,991
- So?
- Uh, it's just...
260
00:14:14,265 --> 00:14:16,263
you can't fulfill the
duties of a skilled
261
00:14:16,265 --> 00:14:17,884
bartender when you're highly inebriated.
262
00:14:19,631 --> 00:14:22,500
I could be drunk and a goldfish
263
00:14:22,501 --> 00:14:25,503
and still "fulfill my duties
as bartender" better than you.
264
00:14:25,504 --> 00:14:27,171
Oh, that's... that's very funny.
265
00:14:27,172 --> 00:14:28,757
Yeah, because it's very true.
266
00:14:28,759 --> 00:14:30,033
It is very true.
267
00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:31,440
Y... you might want
to take a look around
268
00:14:31,441 --> 00:14:34,379
'cause it's just the
two of you and, like...
269
00:14:34,380 --> 00:14:36,782
barfly over there.
270
00:14:40,802 --> 00:14:42,786
Anyways, I'm having a baby.
271
00:14:42,788 --> 00:14:45,723
Now get us another
shot. We're celebrating.
272
00:14:45,724 --> 00:14:48,093
You're kidding, right?
273
00:14:48,798 --> 00:14:50,332
Of course I'm kidding.
274
00:14:50,334 --> 00:14:52,114
Geez.
275
00:14:52,567 --> 00:14:54,101
Silly boy.
276
00:14:54,266 --> 00:14:56,079
That wasn't funny.
277
00:14:58,003 --> 00:15:00,338
- Shots.
- But seriously, I'm way pregnant.
278
00:15:00,339 --> 00:15:02,340
Oh, whoa. Oh, don't be doing that.
279
00:15:02,341 --> 00:15:03,608
Oh, and she did it.
280
00:15:03,609 --> 00:15:04,609
Mm-hmm.
281
00:15:04,610 --> 00:15:06,477
Okay.
282
00:15:06,478 --> 00:15:07,812
One more. I'm closing.
283
00:15:15,888 --> 00:15:18,623
Sorry. Can't seem to figure
out how to not startle people.
284
00:15:18,624 --> 00:15:20,374
Well, if I had a door,
you could knock on it,
285
00:15:20,375 --> 00:15:22,843
but I don't because I'm stuck
in a fucking corner because...
286
00:15:22,845 --> 00:15:24,429
I normally wouldn't interrupt you,
287
00:15:24,431 --> 00:15:26,833
but Ms. Monro would like
to see you in your office.
288
00:15:27,499 --> 00:15:29,941
Don't you mean Dani wants
to see me in her office?
289
00:15:29,943 --> 00:15:31,223
That's what I thought.
290
00:15:31,225 --> 00:15:33,599
She made me say it like a dozen
times to make sure I got it right.
291
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,801
Ms. Monro would like to
see you in your office.
292
00:15:35,974 --> 00:15:37,509
Southeast corner.
293
00:15:51,523 --> 00:15:53,425
Come on in, Emma.
294
00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:58,564
Yay.
295
00:15:59,057 --> 00:16:01,124
Put 'er there, partner.
296
00:16:01,126 --> 00:16:02,800
Uh, what's going on?
297
00:16:02,801 --> 00:16:05,002
Well, I did a... a little maneuvering.
298
00:16:05,003 --> 00:16:07,549
You're heading up the
Hamilton Theater Project again.
299
00:16:07,551 --> 00:16:09,924
Press release for your promotion
goes out this afternoon.
300
00:16:11,128 --> 00:16:13,262
Uh, can I talk to you for a minute?
301
00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:14,599
Of course.
302
00:16:24,268 --> 00:16:26,270
I was going to present this
to you at the party, but...
303
00:16:26,271 --> 00:16:28,071
You're putting on quite
a show, aren't you?
304
00:16:28,109 --> 00:16:30,044
What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
305
00:16:30,046 --> 00:16:31,885
My neighbor, Lori Matherfield,
306
00:16:31,887 --> 00:16:35,323
she was clenching in such a big,
fat, juicy secret this morning...
307
00:16:35,371 --> 00:16:37,106
I thought she was gonna explode.
308
00:16:39,078 --> 00:16:41,346
She's gonna tell me.
309
00:16:41,460 --> 00:16:42,994
Fine, if you really must ruin it.
310
00:16:44,276 --> 00:16:46,438
What, you mean expose this
bullshit piece of theater
311
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,476
starring you as the
magnanimous senior partner?
312
00:16:49,515 --> 00:16:51,916
There was a meeting... at Hamilton.
313
00:16:51,917 --> 00:16:53,785
Mm. I kinda figured.
314
00:16:53,786 --> 00:16:55,091
This Matherfield cunt...
315
00:16:55,093 --> 00:16:57,055
Don't... Don't call her that.
316
00:16:57,056 --> 00:16:59,057
Oh, she's your buddy now?
317
00:16:59,058 --> 00:17:00,925
I... I don't know what she is, but...
318
00:17:00,926 --> 00:17:02,327
you know, she's not that.
319
00:17:02,741 --> 00:17:04,943
The jury's still out on you, though.
320
00:17:06,331 --> 00:17:08,112
Do you really want to play it like this?
321
00:17:08,114 --> 00:17:09,987
Just finish your story.
322
00:17:11,893 --> 00:17:14,205
She called together the Alumni Board,
323
00:17:14,206 --> 00:17:15,561
Dean Weinstock,
324
00:17:15,563 --> 00:17:17,389
and a few other of the
administrative types,
325
00:17:17,391 --> 00:17:19,426
and made a speech on your behalf.
326
00:17:20,546 --> 00:17:21,709
And?
327
00:17:21,711 --> 00:17:23,800
Like I said, you're back on the project.
328
00:17:25,284 --> 00:17:26,685
And what if I say no?
329
00:17:28,312 --> 00:17:29,445
What?
330
00:17:29,447 --> 00:17:31,582
Why would you say no?
331
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:34,360
What if I decide not
to head up the project?
332
00:17:39,514 --> 00:17:40,915
We lose it.
333
00:17:40,917 --> 00:17:42,317
Excuse me?
334
00:17:42,319 --> 00:17:44,987
And I fire you so
fucking hard, Trakarsky.
335
00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:46,387
Ooh, I'm scared.
336
00:17:46,389 --> 00:17:47,874
And before the door hits your ass,
337
00:17:47,876 --> 00:17:49,903
I initiate the first of 100 calls
338
00:17:49,905 --> 00:17:52,034
to make sure you never
work in this town again.
339
00:17:52,036 --> 00:17:54,753
Stop, I'm gonna piss my pants.
340
00:17:54,755 --> 00:17:57,033
You play it as cool as you want, but...
341
00:17:57,035 --> 00:17:59,637
we both know we're
stuck with each other.
342
00:17:59,639 --> 00:18:02,240
Now, why don't we go
back to your new office,
343
00:18:02,242 --> 00:18:03,776
put on our big-girl smiles...
344
00:18:03,778 --> 00:18:05,655
Oh, I can't. I'm meeting a friend.
345
00:18:05,657 --> 00:18:09,193
Um, but I will give you my
decision as soon as I get back.
346
00:18:09,194 --> 00:18:10,483
What fucking decision?
347
00:18:10,485 --> 00:18:12,432
There's no door number two, Trakarsky.
348
00:18:12,434 --> 00:18:14,569
There's always a door number two, Monro.
349
00:18:23,158 --> 00:18:25,562
Did I happen to mention
that my wife and I had wild,
350
00:18:25,564 --> 00:18:27,509
animalistic morning sex today?
351
00:18:27,511 --> 00:18:28,881
Yeah, like three times so far.
352
00:18:30,438 --> 00:18:32,687
Why is it so... gross when a guy
353
00:18:32,689 --> 00:18:34,658
brags about having sex with his wife?
354
00:18:34,666 --> 00:18:37,221
Yeah, like, when you tap
Mila Kunis, you can brag,
355
00:18:37,222 --> 00:18:38,877
but telling people
you tapped your wife...
356
00:18:38,879 --> 00:18:40,756
it's just... weird.
357
00:18:40,758 --> 00:18:43,294
You're ruining this whole
thing, thank you very much.
358
00:18:45,101 --> 00:18:47,636
Okay, well, here's something...
359
00:18:47,638 --> 00:18:50,440
me, Emma, and Izzy
are gonna have a baby.
360
00:18:50,442 --> 00:18:52,035
You're gonna have a threesome baby?
361
00:18:52,037 --> 00:18:53,561
How is that even possible?
362
00:18:53,563 --> 00:18:55,705
No, it's... it's my s... sperm,
363
00:18:55,707 --> 00:18:58,310
Emma's eggs, and Izzy's uterus.
364
00:18:58,862 --> 00:19:01,782
But then we got to... move downtown.
365
00:19:01,784 --> 00:19:03,633
That is some very weird science.
366
00:19:03,635 --> 00:19:06,485
Is there, like, a polygamist
community down there or a...
367
00:19:06,487 --> 00:19:09,119
some special school for children
of threesomes I don't know about?
368
00:19:09,121 --> 00:19:11,856
Well, it's just Izzy's
part of the bargain.
369
00:19:11,858 --> 00:19:14,060
We get her womb and she gets a loft.
370
00:19:14,062 --> 00:19:15,860
Ah. Translation...
371
00:19:15,861 --> 00:19:18,494
she doesn't want to live
anywhere near you boring losers.
372
00:19:18,496 --> 00:19:21,442
Oh, yeah, because your gated
community of uber-Caucasians
373
00:19:21,444 --> 00:19:24,113
gets the hipster seal of approval.
374
00:19:24,115 --> 00:19:25,482
My backyard bocce ball tournaments
375
00:19:25,484 --> 00:19:28,966
get pretty fucking wild after
a few Belgian ales, David.
376
00:19:28,968 --> 00:19:30,724
Whitest thing you've ever said.
377
00:19:30,726 --> 00:19:33,544
I gotta be honest, you know,
it's all happening so fast.
378
00:19:33,545 --> 00:19:35,104
It's like one night
you're prancing around
379
00:19:35,105 --> 00:19:37,212
an unfinished loft
doing a fertility dance,
380
00:19:37,214 --> 00:19:39,503
and the next day, you're
sitting across a professional
381
00:19:39,505 --> 00:19:41,887
talking about a three-parent baby.
382
00:19:45,817 --> 00:19:47,551
What?
383
00:19:47,553 --> 00:19:50,285
It's just... one of those...
384
00:19:50,287 --> 00:19:52,490
once-in-a-lifetime sentences.
385
00:19:56,775 --> 00:19:58,342
Mm.
386
00:19:59,155 --> 00:20:01,169
Sorry the sitter bailed.
387
00:20:01,171 --> 00:20:02,445
I was dying to get out of the house.
388
00:20:02,446 --> 00:20:04,793
Oh, it's cool. I had stuff
to do at the house anyway.
389
00:20:04,795 --> 00:20:06,675
- I want to open one.
- Do you want to open one?
390
00:20:06,905 --> 00:20:08,906
What? Yeah? What do you... What?
391
00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:09,878
What did you have to do?
392
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:12,815
You know, like... stuff.
393
00:20:12,817 --> 00:20:14,081
You're being weird.
394
00:20:14,083 --> 00:20:17,152
Sort of rerouting the
conception strategy.
395
00:20:17,154 --> 00:20:18,222
Yeah?
396
00:20:20,218 --> 00:20:22,224
We have an appointment today to discuss
397
00:20:22,226 --> 00:20:24,357
other options at 4:00.
398
00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:26,460
Okay. What kind of options?
399
00:20:26,832 --> 00:20:29,333
You know, like... Izzy...
400
00:20:29,334 --> 00:20:31,364
carrying our baby... stuff like that.
401
00:20:31,366 --> 00:20:33,872
- Baby.
- "Baby". I know, right? Hilarious.
402
00:20:35,931 --> 00:20:37,665
Wait, you're kidding, right?
403
00:20:37,667 --> 00:20:38,735
Nope.
404
00:20:41,459 --> 00:20:43,171
Do you remember what you said to me
405
00:20:43,173 --> 00:20:45,608
in the... Lesbian Temple of Tea
406
00:20:45,610 --> 00:20:47,611
how you're not sure about
anything in your life
407
00:20:47,613 --> 00:20:49,647
sexually, professionally, or...
408
00:20:49,768 --> 00:20:51,003
reproductively?
409
00:20:51,005 --> 00:20:52,434
Jack wants a baby.
410
00:20:52,900 --> 00:20:55,102
Jack wants a baby.
411
00:20:57,199 --> 00:20:59,588
We're in here.
412
00:20:59,590 --> 00:21:00,857
Hello?
413
00:21:00,859 --> 00:21:02,394
Lori?
414
00:21:03,623 --> 00:21:05,595
- Oh! Hey.
- Hey.
415
00:21:07,514 --> 00:21:10,232
That was a pretty amazing thing
you did for me, Lori Matherfield.
416
00:21:10,234 --> 00:21:11,334
Oh.
417
00:21:12,744 --> 00:21:14,875
Somebody please tell me
what's going on right now.
418
00:21:14,877 --> 00:21:18,102
Lo called together the Alumni
Board and Dean Weinstock
419
00:21:18,104 --> 00:21:21,004
and fixed everything
on the Theater Project.
420
00:21:21,006 --> 00:21:22,676
Oh, so you're a partner again?
421
00:21:22,678 --> 00:21:24,089
Mm, maybe.
422
00:21:24,467 --> 00:21:25,596
Hug her.
423
00:21:25,598 --> 00:21:28,461
- Huh? What's that?
- Hug... Hug Lo. She deserves it.
424
00:21:28,781 --> 00:21:32,079
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
425
00:21:32,081 --> 00:21:34,261
- Here, I'll take her.
- Hi.
426
00:21:34,777 --> 00:21:36,511
How do you want to do this? Uh...
427
00:21:36,513 --> 00:21:37,528
- Okay.
- Okay.
428
00:21:37,530 --> 00:21:38,569
Yes. It's okay.
429
00:21:38,570 --> 00:21:40,911
- I want you two to become friends.
- It's nice.
430
00:21:40,913 --> 00:21:42,018
Okay, spill it, Trakarsky.
431
00:21:42,020 --> 00:21:44,629
What the fuck is this
about? Are you... dying?
432
00:21:44,631 --> 00:21:47,343
Oh, I love that one necklace of yours.
433
00:21:47,345 --> 00:21:49,806
The... the antique-y
one with the rubies.
434
00:21:51,303 --> 00:21:53,938
What? It's a joke. I can
make jokes now, right?
435
00:21:53,940 --> 00:21:55,486
I'm Lo.
436
00:22:00,138 --> 00:22:01,677
Hey, baby daddy.
437
00:22:01,679 --> 00:22:02,746
Hey.
438
00:22:22,254 --> 00:22:25,740
You know, the last time we
sat on the bench together,
439
00:22:25,742 --> 00:22:28,990
I left and consumed a
dangerous volume of vodka,
440
00:22:28,992 --> 00:22:32,324
jalape�o kettle chips,
and pistachio ice cream...
441
00:22:34,412 --> 00:22:36,149
'cause I had fallen for a married couple
442
00:22:36,151 --> 00:22:38,086
and I could never, ever see them again.
443
00:22:42,360 --> 00:22:44,854
I went home and had sex with my wife,
444
00:22:45,915 --> 00:22:49,941
who... told me you gave her
a footjob under the table...
445
00:22:51,410 --> 00:22:53,152
... and made out with her...
446
00:22:54,077 --> 00:22:57,709
and that... you weren't
her first girl...
447
00:22:57,823 --> 00:22:59,223
or her second.
448
00:22:59,951 --> 00:23:02,744
It turns out you weren't
her third, either.
449
00:23:02,746 --> 00:23:04,877
Rough.
450
00:23:07,559 --> 00:23:09,603
That's when everything changed.
451
00:23:24,795 --> 00:23:26,623
Look, I want this...
452
00:23:29,515 --> 00:23:31,016
... bad.
453
00:23:32,692 --> 00:23:34,952
I need you guys to want it, too.
454
00:23:36,302 --> 00:23:37,396
'Cause if you don't,
455
00:23:37,398 --> 00:23:38,855
- there's no reason...
- Jack.
456
00:23:39,580 --> 00:23:40,915
I do.
31584
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
