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The minister job hunt is on!
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For the first time,
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Ukraine is competitively selecting
candidates for top government posts.
4
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-Ready?
-Let's take another shot.
5
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Is it a fair selection process
or another populist act by Holoborodko?
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Yana, you're in my way!
7
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-And you're not, Dasha?
-Then move away!
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Why don't you move away?
9
00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:35,880
-I work for channel 1+1.
-Good for you, hotshot.
10
00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:39,520
-The central bank pile?
-So far.
11
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Vasyl Petrovych, here are the applications
for the head of Central Bank.
12
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More?
13
00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:05,840
Yes, and the foreign minister candidates
are awaiting interviews.
14
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How will I find the time to do all this?
15
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I haven't chosen the tax service head yet.
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-I'll brew some coffee.
-Please do.
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Vasyl Petrovych,
I've chosen a few applications.
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This is a good one.
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-We'll save time this way.
-Let's see.
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What's good here?
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No work experience,
incomplete high school education.
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Look at the surname.
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Abuladze.
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-Abuladze.
-So what?
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Nenashvili, Gaguladze...
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Are you collecting Georgians?
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The only honest people in the country
are Georgians now?
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Are there any alternatives?
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Yes.
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From the Baltics.
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Here's an ideal candidate.
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He meets all the criteria.
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-Arvidas Kopiani.
-Yeah?
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The mother is Baltic
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and father is Georgian.
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Listen, stop clowning around, would you?
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It's a circus.
We have 45 million people.
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We can't find candidates among our own?
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I'll find one. Where's my pile...
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Here!
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Here's a pretty good one. Our kind of guy.
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Two university degrees, mind you.
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A PhD and professor.
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20 years in the upper echelons of power.
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This person is fit for any post.
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His last name is Ukrainian, not Georgian.
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Yanukovich.
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Yanukovich, how?
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He's in Ukraine?
50
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The application was mailed.
51
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But the candidate
is ready to talk on Skype
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and wants a clean slate.
53
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As a bus depot manager?
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The looney bin!
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PRESIDENTIAL ADMINISTRATION OF UKRAINE
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Close one.
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They say
the competitive hiring is for show
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and the posts are going to insiders.
59
00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:03,000
That's not true. Why phrase it that way?
60
00:04:03,639 --> 00:04:05,400
It's a rigorous selection process.
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00:04:05,719 --> 00:04:08,680
A team of specialists
and psychologists are involved.
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All the candidates take a polygraph test.
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The president personally
takes part in selecting the ministers.
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But you have it under control?
65
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Hardly.
This is the president's initiative.
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I'm staying out of it.
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My colleagues and I have the day off.
We're playing tennis.
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Moreover, I'm preoccupied
with how I'm going to win a match
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against Zhanna Yurievna.
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-Zhanna Yurievna!
-Hi!
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00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:31,839
She's a master of sports in tennis.
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So excuse me. I'm going to get ready.
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I don't like to lose.
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Lawn tennis is a great thing.
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Zhanna Yurievna!
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Your attention, please.
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And silence.
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Dear candidates
for the post of foreign minister...
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in a few minutes,
the interviews will start.
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So many...
We'll be here until the morning.
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Thank you.
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Ladies and gentlemen,
I want to warn you in advance...
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the pay is low...
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We've budgeted only
3,000 hryvnias per month.
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I believe it's my duty to say
that the legislation was changed.
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The death penalty
will be given for large-scale bribes.
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Excuse me. May I have a word?
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Why did you say that? It's not true.
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And it's inhumane.
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Also,
a death penalty moratorium is in place.
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Voila!
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Isn't it easier to choose now?
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Break a leg, gentlemen.
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Let's go to the office
for discussions, please.
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To the office, please.
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The choice is obvious.
Until morning, you said?
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Well, the competitive hiring process
for the top government posts has ended.
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Any minute now...
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Good morning.
100
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Morning.
101
00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:05,439
Okay, Dima,
go brush your teeth and have a wash.
102
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Aunt Sveta will cook breakfast for you.
103
00:06:07,959 --> 00:06:09,000
Do you want ravioli?
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Dima!
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Like a deer in headlights!
106
00:06:14,199 --> 00:06:15,879
They're going to show Dad.
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Lord! You poor kid.
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Before, you only saw Dad on Saturdays.
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Now you only see him on the television.
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Yeah, instead of Vasya wasting time there,
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he should take his son to the zoo.
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-Dad.
-Why Dad?
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What good is that contest?
It'll be the same people.
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Don't listen to Granddad.
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He didn't get enough sleep,
so he's talking baloney.
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Dad will set things right in the country.
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And he'll take you to the zoo. Right?
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Oh, there he is right now.
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Vasyl Petrovych, please
meet the winners of our jobs competition.
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Igor Vasilievich Stepanov.
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He has a PhD in economics.
He'll be the Central Bank governor.
122
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Nice to meet you.
123
00:06:58,279 --> 00:07:00,519
-It's great to have a professional.
-Thanks.
124
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:03,360
Mikhail Goncharenko,
the future defense minister.
125
00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:05,680
-We'll team up.
-Yes, sir.
126
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:06,560
A firm hand.
127
00:07:06,639 --> 00:07:09,639
Vasiliy Burulya,
the future head of the Security Service.
128
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:10,879
Vasiliy? Same name.
129
00:07:10,959 --> 00:07:11,959
-Welcome.
-Thanks.
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00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:16,360
Anatoliy Mikhailovich Kudrya,
the future foreign minister.
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-Thank you.
-Pleasure.
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Olga Pavlovna Priymak,
the future head of the tax service.
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-Good afternoon.
-This is so official.
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00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:24,920
As the saying goes, welcome aboard!
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I congratulate you and our entire team.
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00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:30,839
Ladies and gentlemen,
it was a tough choice,
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but we did find honest
and professional people in our country.
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00:07:36,279 --> 00:07:38,199
Together, we'll improve our country.
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That's all.
We'll see each other in Parliament.
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00:07:49,959 --> 00:07:52,279
Vasyl Petrovych,
I was just heading your way.
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Sign the candidates' list.
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-To give to the speaker.
-Pen.
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Fine choices.
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I had a quick look.
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You can tell straight away they're pros.
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Stepanov, Goncharenko, Burulya.
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Kudrya, Priymak?
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Right.
149
00:08:08,319 --> 00:08:10,959
How do you know
who won the hiring contest?
150
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Well...
151
00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:17,279
Well,
you know how great minds think alike?
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Yes or no?
153
00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:23,360
I need back up.
154
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The dispatcher says to land.
155
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Why aren't you ready, pilot?
156
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Hurry. Get your stuff and we'll fly away.
157
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,120
Look at him running wild. Chop-chop!
158
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:35,039
Why didn't I guess
they were Yuriy Ivanovich's people?
159
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They fooled the polygraph test,
as well as me.
160
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And I? A grown lady and to goof up so bad!
161
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:42,480
How could I...
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It's some kind of vicious cycle.
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An honest person must be stupid, then.
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A smart person must be a thief.
165
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-A bachelor must be a sex freak.
-You said it.
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-You mean the lawyer?
-Who else?
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You see...
168
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It started off so nice.
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Nice weekend, nice walks,
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a boat ride and he read me poems.
171
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And then we went to his place...
172
00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:10,559
50 Shades of Grey doesn't even come close.
173
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It makes me shudder just to think of it.
174
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I barely escaped. A nightmare.
175
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My reality is worse than your nightmare.
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The vote in Parliament is in three days.
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I haven't a single person. It's tragic.
178
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Vasya, I'm turning 37 soon
and I don't have a man.
179
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Now that's tragic.
180
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I don't understand...
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Are all the normal people
in this country just gone?
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Not all the people.
183
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The men are gone.
184
00:09:39,759 --> 00:09:41,039
You know, Holoborodko,
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sometimes I want to say to heck with it,
and go back to you.
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00:09:46,879 --> 00:09:48,480
-Well, I...
-Oh, forget it.
187
00:09:48,559 --> 00:09:50,519
-Forget about it. No more.
-Well, I...
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Okay, no more. Drop it.
It's not me talking.
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It's the red wine.
190
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-Stop.
-Mom, are you coming?
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Coming, honey.
192
00:10:00,039 --> 00:10:02,200
-See you, Dad.
-Take care, son. Be strong.
193
00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:07,600
In all sincerity,
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00:10:07,679 --> 00:10:09,600
you never know, Vasya.
195
00:10:10,039 --> 00:10:11,759
We've known each other forever.
196
00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:14,960
At least I know what to expect from you.
197
00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:18,440
Is that the red wine talking again?
198
00:10:19,519 --> 00:10:21,039
Okay, bye.
199
00:10:21,759 --> 00:10:23,639
Bye.
200
00:10:31,559 --> 00:10:33,600
It'll be hot in Parliament today.
201
00:10:33,679 --> 00:10:35,919
You don't have to be a genius
to understand
202
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,039
that there will be carnage in Parliament.
203
00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:42,120
It appears that the first clash between
Parliament and the president is brewing.
204
00:10:42,639 --> 00:10:44,840
Dear Ukrainians, not long ago
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00:10:44,919 --> 00:10:46,919
you elected me as president of Ukraine.
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00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,399
That trust is a great responsibility.
207
00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:52,000
However, I must admit...
208
00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:53,440
I cannot succeed on my own.
209
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:57,120
That's why I spent a lot of time
looking for the right team
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00:10:57,679 --> 00:11:00,639
of faithful, decent and honest people.
211
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,519
And I've put this team together.
212
00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:06,720
So this is your team?
213
00:11:07,279 --> 00:11:10,600
And you want Parliament
to vote for this pig in a bag?
214
00:11:11,159 --> 00:11:13,000
You swore your mandate on it.
215
00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:16,159
Vasyl Petrovych,
the prime minister doesn't have a mandate.
216
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:17,480
That's not the point.
217
00:11:17,559 --> 00:11:20,360
The point is
that everything has a reasonable limit.
218
00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:21,600
Who are these people?
219
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:24,559
Okay, let's say Olya Mischenko...
220
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,039
She's your ex-wife and all that.
221
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:30,000
That's got nothing to do with it.
She's a professional.
222
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:32,159
She burns with desire to help the country.
223
00:11:33,039 --> 00:11:35,159
Now tell me, have you gone crazy?
224
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:37,399
How can you see me
as the head of Central Bank?
225
00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:38,960
That's enough, Holoborodko.
226
00:11:39,039 --> 00:11:40,759
I don't have time for your jokes.
227
00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:42,600
I'm a single working mom.
228
00:11:42,679 --> 00:11:43,879
Olya, where do you work?
229
00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:44,960
You yourself said
230
00:11:45,039 --> 00:11:47,679
that you have
no career prospects at your bank.
231
00:11:47,759 --> 00:11:51,639
So what? At least I have security,
each day from 10am until 6pm.
232
00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:54,240
I get 7,000 hryvnias
and a trip to Turkey. I'm okay.
233
00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:57,240
What are you saying?
7,000 a month and a trip to Turkey?
234
00:11:57,320 --> 00:12:00,200
You have a degree with honors in economy.
You're a pro.
235
00:12:00,879 --> 00:12:01,679
Okay...
236
00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:04,360
You can stop now, Vasyl Petrovych. Okay?
237
00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:06,080
Thanks very much for the offer.
238
00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:07,799
It was a pleasure. All the best.
239
00:12:07,879 --> 00:12:09,360
Olya, there's no need to rush.
240
00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:10,639
Think about it!
241
00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:12,720
Vasya, I've made my choice.
242
00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:14,039
-Bye.
-Olya!
243
00:12:16,399 --> 00:12:17,840
Okay, I have a question.
244
00:12:18,399 --> 00:12:20,960
Who's this supposed to be?
The defense minister?
245
00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:23,240
Do you want to give such a serious post
246
00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:24,960
to some captain?
247
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:27,600
How will he give commands to generals?
248
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:29,039
Easily.
249
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:33,279
Captain Skorik is highly respected
by more senior officers.
250
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,960
I'll send you to rot away in prison!
251
00:12:36,039 --> 00:12:38,480
You'll never see the sun!
Where are the tires?
252
00:12:39,279 --> 00:12:41,840
I said, where are the tires?
Did you drink them away?
253
00:12:41,919 --> 00:12:43,720
I sold them to buy the men boots.
254
00:12:43,799 --> 00:12:46,679
For six months,
the men have been running in torn boots.
255
00:12:46,759 --> 00:12:48,360
But why me? They don't fund us!
256
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:49,919
But for the Escalade, they do.
257
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,159
Why you... Skorik!
258
00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:52,360
With your nature...
259
00:12:52,919 --> 00:12:54,559
you'll die a first lieutenant.
260
00:12:54,639 --> 00:12:57,360
-Captain.
-I said "a first lieutenant", Skorik!
261
00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:58,320
As you were.
262
00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:03,320
Greetings, commander-in-chief!
263
00:13:03,399 --> 00:13:05,200
Unit commander, General Borulko.
264
00:13:05,279 --> 00:13:06,279
Greetings.
265
00:13:06,759 --> 00:13:09,919
You're not about to arrest
the future defense minister, are you?
266
00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:12,240
Are you, Colonel Borulko?
267
00:13:12,679 --> 00:13:16,200
-General.
-Colonel Borulko. Colonel.
268
00:13:19,519 --> 00:13:21,840
Now this is completely hilarious.
269
00:13:22,399 --> 00:13:24,360
This is your Security Service chief?
270
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,519
Where did you dig up this oldie?
271
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:27,840
Yuriy Ivanovich.
272
00:13:28,159 --> 00:13:30,440
Nina Yegorovna was my homeroom teacher.
273
00:13:30,519 --> 00:13:32,200
And what discipline we had!
274
00:13:32,919 --> 00:13:34,799
Her nickname was Beria.
275
00:13:35,519 --> 00:13:37,440
Yes. Not a woman, but a rock.
276
00:13:37,519 --> 00:13:38,399
And this?
277
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:40,080
He's your choice...
278
00:13:40,759 --> 00:13:42,240
for foreign minister?
279
00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:43,600
With that kind of face?
280
00:13:44,399 --> 00:13:45,960
He looks more like someone
281
00:13:46,039 --> 00:13:48,919
sought after on the most wanted list.
282
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,200
Vasya, you're distracting me from work.
283
00:13:51,279 --> 00:13:53,399
Me, as foreign minister?
284
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:56,399
Serge, listen.
You can't call this real work.
285
00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:58,720
You're 37, and look what you're doing.
286
00:13:58,799 --> 00:14:00,759
I work in the field in which I studied.
287
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,399
I'm sad
that you can't live without doing this.
288
00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:06,039
You studied to become
an entirely different person.
289
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:09,440
You're killing yourself!
You're passing away on this crap.
290
00:14:09,879 --> 00:14:12,399
I assure you,
you'll be a stellar foreign minister.
291
00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:15,399
Your mom always wanted you
to become a diplomat.
292
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,559
Leave my mom alone.
She knows where I work.
293
00:14:17,639 --> 00:14:19,080
My job feeds my whole family.
294
00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:20,159
That may be,
295
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:22,120
but there are also callings in life.
296
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:24,120
This is a first-rate foreign minister.
297
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:26,600
Why are you silent, Vasyl Petrovych?
298
00:14:27,159 --> 00:14:28,159
Vasyl Petrovych!
299
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:30,720
The parliamentarians are waiting.
300
00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:34,519
Where can these untried politicians,
301
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:36,639
some lacking the requisite education,
302
00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:38,200
take Ukraine?
303
00:14:38,279 --> 00:14:41,120
Above all, why was all the fuss needed
304
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:44,080
if the country is unlikely to change?
305
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:47,200
Vasyl Petrovych.
306
00:14:49,679 --> 00:14:51,559
Name at least one reason
307
00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:54,159
why Parliament should vote for them.
308
00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:57,279
Yuriy Ivanovich,
name at least one reason
309
00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:00,799
why I shouldn't
bring the people to the Maidan?
310
00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:06,200
Why does Holoborodko think
311
00:15:06,279 --> 00:15:08,480
the majority will support his new team?
312
00:15:08,879 --> 00:15:11,279
I'm certain
that lawmakers have many questions.
313
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:14,159
Who are these people, these dark horses?
314
00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:17,480
How, according to the president,
will they govern the country?
315
00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:19,200
Greetings...
316
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,240
honored lawmakers.
317
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:23,639
It's gotten cozy in here.
318
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:26,360
Now one can see
who is present and who is absent.
319
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:29,000
I'll start, if you don't mind.
320
00:15:29,519 --> 00:15:33,200
Dear lawmakers, today I'd like
to present to you the candidates who,
321
00:15:33,279 --> 00:15:36,519
in my strong opinion,
322
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:40,600
will help our nation
to come out of a deep pit.
323
00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:44,919
You've probably
already seen their biographies,
324
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,240
but I would like
325
00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:48,960
to add a few words of my own.
326
00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:52,000
For the post of defense minister,
327
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:55,840
I nominate the candidate
Ivan Andreevich Skorik.
328
00:15:57,879 --> 00:16:01,159
I hope that he can sort out
the current mess,
329
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:03,519
and finally eradicate
corruption in the army.
330
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,519
For the post of the tax service head,
331
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:10,639
I nominate Mikhail Ivanovich Sanin.
332
00:16:13,039 --> 00:16:13,840
Thank you.
333
00:16:14,399 --> 00:16:16,159
Thank you, Mikhail Ivanovich,
334
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:17,679
for your excellent work.
335
00:16:17,759 --> 00:16:20,519
One can say,
you are the conscience of the tax service.
336
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:22,519
I just did my job.
337
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:26,679
Don't be modest. You opened my eyes
to the shortcomings of the tax service.
338
00:16:26,759 --> 00:16:29,120
You uncovered a corrupt network,
so to speak,
339
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:31,679
that included some of my closest deputies.
340
00:16:31,759 --> 00:16:32,960
Here...
341
00:16:33,039 --> 00:16:34,000
Take this!
342
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:36,759
A gesture of appreciation
from the prime minister.
343
00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:39,600
-I entrust it to you.
-Thanks.
344
00:16:39,679 --> 00:16:41,120
And sign here.
345
00:16:41,679 --> 00:16:42,480
What is this?
346
00:16:42,559 --> 00:16:43,759
A small formality.
347
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:45,720
A termination order
348
00:16:45,799 --> 00:16:47,240
in view of unsuitability
349
00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:49,440
in relation to the held position.
350
00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:54,120
Mikhail Ivanovich Sanin,
whose scrupulousness and meticulousness
351
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:57,519
won't let even one kopeck
352
00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:00,080
get past the state treasury.
353
00:17:00,159 --> 00:17:02,320
For the position of Central Bank governor,
354
00:17:02,399 --> 00:17:05,839
I nominate Olga Yurievna Mischenko.
355
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:06,880
That's his ex.
356
00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:08,720
Lovely.
357
00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:12,039
Incidentally, as her ex-husband,
358
00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:14,759
I can assure you that Olga Yurievna
359
00:17:14,839 --> 00:17:18,240
knows how to monitor
all financial streams.
360
00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:24,720
For the post
of Security Service chief I nominate
361
00:17:24,799 --> 00:17:26,640
Nina Yegorovna Tretyak.
362
00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:27,920
I'm convinced
363
00:17:28,559 --> 00:17:30,720
that our security is in good hands.
364
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:34,319
And the last nominee for today...
365
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:36,400
For the post of foreign minister,
366
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:38,920
I nominate Sergei Viktorovich Mukhin.
367
00:17:42,759 --> 00:17:44,200
Sergei Viktorovich Mukhin.
368
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,880
Foreign minister.
369
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:51,000
Elegant,
370
00:17:51,559 --> 00:17:52,359
as always,
371
00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:53,920
Sergei Viktorovich Mukhin.
372
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,640
There are also callings in life.
373
00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:59,000
You'd be a great foreign minister.
Handsome and easy to talk to...
374
00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:01,200
You know English. You do, right?
375
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,480
You see, you speak fluent English, Serge.
376
00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:08,160
I beg you. I need you...
377
00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:10,599
Excuse me,
but we have two hours of overtime.
378
00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:12,480
Sorry. Sergei, I have to run.
379
00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:14,799
Bye.
And quit this job, the sooner the better.
380
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:16,319
-Goodbye. Thanks.
-Thanks.
381
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:18,240
I've seen you... Good luck.
382
00:18:18,319 --> 00:18:19,799
Okay. Let's resume shooting.
383
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:22,119
Let's go. No slacking off.
384
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:24,960
Sergei,
I implore you, pretty please, just...
385
00:18:25,039 --> 00:18:27,160
Well, we've got 15 outtakes already.
386
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:28,960
We can't take the easiest shots.
387
00:18:29,039 --> 00:18:32,640
You just have to count
seven stacks of money, that's all.
388
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:34,319
Sample the cocaine and leave.
389
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:38,079
Just do that and then you can leave.
You don't have to laugh when snorting it.
390
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:40,079
You don't have to juggle with the money.
391
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:41,160
-Impossible.
-Yes.
392
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:43,920
It's impossible to look at.
We have an expensive set!
393
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,559
-I've got it.
-What's your line?
394
00:18:46,079 --> 00:18:47,720
-"This is it."
-Forget it, okay?
395
00:18:47,799 --> 00:18:49,039
Forget even this phrase.
396
00:18:49,119 --> 00:18:52,359
Forget all interjections.
Yours is the face of a shitting cat.
397
00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:54,559
The best actor doesn't do anything at all.
398
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:56,200
You don't have to swallow it.
399
00:18:56,279 --> 00:18:59,880
You've managed to eat two packages
while we've done one scene.
400
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:01,920
Two hours of overtime and 15 outtakes!
401
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,920
Yet, you can't open and close this shit.
402
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,759
You come in, count and drop it,
403
00:19:05,839 --> 00:19:08,680
then snort a little cocaine and leave.
404
00:19:08,759 --> 00:19:12,079
And then you get
the hell out of my life forever, got it?
405
00:19:13,559 --> 00:19:15,359
Lots of style, but no talent!
406
00:19:16,519 --> 00:19:18,440
His communicativeness, charisma
407
00:19:18,519 --> 00:19:20,119
and quick reactions
408
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:23,119
will serve our country
in the international arena.
409
00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:24,279
I'm finished.
410
00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:26,839
Dear colleagues,
411
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:29,720
we're putting
the president's list of candidates
412
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,440
to a vote.
413
00:19:32,519 --> 00:19:36,000
I'd like to remind everyone
that the voting system was dismantled
414
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:38,720
due to cost-cutting measures.
415
00:19:38,799 --> 00:19:42,480
Thus, we'll vote like in the old days,
by a show of hands.
416
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:45,160
Who is "for", please vote.
417
00:19:59,839 --> 00:20:02,160
Raise them higher, please. Don't be shy.
418
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:04,680
We need to count each of your votes.
419
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:08,200
It's unanimous.
420
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:10,519
The resolution is adopted.
421
00:20:30,759 --> 00:20:31,960
Hail, Vasya.
422
00:20:34,799 --> 00:20:36,839
-You... You're Caesar?
-Well done.
423
00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:38,680
There's safety in numbers.
424
00:20:38,759 --> 00:20:40,839
You'll need faithful companions.
425
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:42,759
Verily, I know.
426
00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:59,400
Yes, Mom.
We're together like always, don't worry.
427
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:01,519
Everything is here and appetizing.
428
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:03,720
We're at full strength, as always.
429
00:21:03,799 --> 00:21:06,119
Now they're ministers and serious-minded.
430
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:09,000
I'll send your love to them. Okay. Bye.
431
00:21:09,079 --> 00:21:10,359
Okay. Bye.
432
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:13,680
-My parents say hi.
-Thanks.
433
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:16,680
Want to watch the news?
434
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,440
A new brand of cronyism.
435
00:21:19,519 --> 00:21:21,799
In government, President Holoborodko
436
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,440
formed his own class 10A.
437
00:21:23,519 --> 00:21:26,640
Where will this mighty handful,
without political skill
438
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:28,839
and core education, take Ukraine?
439
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:31,039
This channel is lame. I'm switching it.
440
00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:34,240
We spoke with
the president's ex-classmate and prefect.
441
00:21:34,799 --> 00:21:35,720
Tanya!
442
00:21:36,559 --> 00:21:37,759
Can you imagine?
443
00:21:37,839 --> 00:21:38,759
Well, I don't know.
444
00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:41,359
How could Olya
be head of the Central Bank?
445
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:43,720
She had straight C's in mathematics.
446
00:21:43,799 --> 00:21:46,799
And anyway, I never saw
Mischenko's intelligence shine.
447
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:48,359
She was always envious of you.
448
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:51,839
He's a far cry from Reagan.
449
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:55,720
Minister Mukhin mostly starred in
sleazy soap operas and wacky commercials.
450
00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:58,640
-Is constipation getting to you?
-Yes.
451
00:21:59,519 --> 00:22:01,680
Then take Tinophor!
452
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:03,799
TINOPHOR
IT WILL ALL COME OUT
453
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:04,839
Let's turn it off.
454
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:06,480
Piece of crap.
455
00:22:06,559 --> 00:22:08,079
A drink? Okay?
456
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:10,240
I want to have a drink with you.
457
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:12,240
Why the sour faces on everyone?
458
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:14,000
Chiefly, we're together.
459
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:16,319
We'll get our asses kicked.
460
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:17,519
In what way?
461
00:22:18,319 --> 00:22:20,880
When we're together,
we always get our asses kicked.
462
00:22:21,599 --> 00:22:23,480
When was the last time that happened?
463
00:22:23,559 --> 00:22:24,680
I don't remember.
464
00:22:24,759 --> 00:22:27,799
We got our asses kicked so hard
that I can barely recollect.
465
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,519
The first one was like yesterday.
466
00:22:29,599 --> 00:22:30,640
Well...
467
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,359
I'll refresh your memory.
468
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:36,160
It was at the Young Leninist
summer camp in the Carpathians.
469
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:38,400
-It's now called Stepan Bandera.
-Right.
470
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:40,920
Right. So what happened?
471
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:42,480
We got together
472
00:22:43,279 --> 00:22:45,119
and went dancing in the village.
473
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:46,680
By the way, why did we go there?
474
00:22:46,759 --> 00:22:49,039
Because I wanted to dance.
475
00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:51,119
That's right. You wanted to dance.
476
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:52,319
But why did I go?
477
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:55,319
Because you always
followed her around like a lost puppy.
478
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:56,559
Then why did you go?
479
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:58,119
You went, so I went after you.
480
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:00,880
I'm the lost puppy?
And you went because of me?
481
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:02,240
You all went, so I did, too.
482
00:23:02,319 --> 00:23:04,079
I went because the entry wasn't free
483
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:05,200
and I was the only...
484
00:23:05,279 --> 00:23:06,880
Yeah, we know why. It's obvious!
485
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:09,240
-Then?
-We got our asses kicked because of you.
486
00:23:09,319 --> 00:23:11,240
-Because of me?
-Who else?
487
00:23:11,319 --> 00:23:13,279
Because of who? Because of this person.
488
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:15,440
Who refused a dance with the muscleman?
489
00:23:15,519 --> 00:23:18,519
Who told the muscleman,
"She doesn't dance with goblins"?
490
00:23:18,599 --> 00:23:21,200
-He heard me say that?
-Not the first time.
491
00:23:21,279 --> 00:23:23,119
Someone said it again to him.
492
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:25,319
-Who said it?
-I did.
493
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:27,039
Me too.
494
00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:28,279
And you.
495
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:31,480
I thought that was his name - Goblin.
496
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:34,480
And we got our asses kicked.
497
00:23:35,759 --> 00:23:37,000
I want to make a toast.
498
00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:41,119
We're currently in a similar predicament.
499
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:42,720
We're in the midst...
500
00:23:43,599 --> 00:23:44,799
of nothing but goblins.
501
00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:47,000
And we have two options...
502
00:23:47,319 --> 00:23:48,279
To flee...
503
00:23:49,079 --> 00:23:50,160
or to stay.
504
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:51,480
And get our asses kicked.
505
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:54,400
The whole nine yards, for sure.
506
00:23:55,079 --> 00:23:56,440
But we have a chance...
507
00:23:57,039 --> 00:23:59,160
to try to improve this country.
508
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:02,119
Guys, you will succeed tomorrow.
509
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:05,200
Otherwise, right in front of you,
510
00:24:05,279 --> 00:24:07,119
I'll eat my hat without salt.
511
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:09,000
-Yes.
-Which of the greats said that?
512
00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:11,440
-Mister Fix from the cartoon.
-Correct.
513
00:24:18,039 --> 00:24:20,039
Translated by Mark P. Raczkiewycz
37471
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