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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,520 --> 00:00:02,715 Story by 2 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:05,555 Written by 3 00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:08,395 Produced by 4 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:11,280 Directed by/ Interpreted by Cédric Dupuis 5 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:26,274 And now... Believe it or not... 6 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:31,271 I am Cédric Dupuis. 7 00:00:43,160 --> 00:00:45,072 In memorium 8 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:08,630 This is not an opening sequence. It's merely a foreword. 9 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:12,391 A few things about this movie. 10 00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:16,597 Frankly speaking, this is not a real movie. In fact... 11 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:21,075 I wanted to direct the best... 12 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:24,436 horror movie flick ever... 13 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:27,958 Instead of showing you a turkey, I'll show you the "dailies". 14 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:30,919 For those who don't know what "dailies" are, 15 00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:34,831 and I know you are a few... it's "unedited footage". 16 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:39,431 You won't see a movie... just a Making-Of. 17 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:43,389 Don't worry, I tried to make it as punchy as possible. 18 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:47,117 Movies are dynamic. 19 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:49,954 I did some editing... 20 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:54,317 added some music... sound effects... 21 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:59,436 I used a filter, to make it look like... 22 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:01,831 a real movie... 23 00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:05,035 The picture quality is quite poor. 24 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:10,075 This introduction is now over. 25 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:13,914 You might want to watch the movie. 26 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:17,396 In my opinion... 27 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:20,871 this will be an outstanding moment of cinema. 28 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:25,913 Enjoy. 29 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:34,351 - Hi, darling? - Hey. 30 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:36,593 - You OK? - And you? 31 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:39,600 I had a hard day. 32 00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:42,435 A shower, some food and a good night's sleep. 33 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:44,990 Wait, I want to show you something... 34 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:48,876 1st Step: Introducing the project. 35 00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:52,151 - Look! - What's that? 36 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:55,233 - A camera. - I know. 37 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:58,194 - Are you shooting? - Yes. Shouldn't I? 38 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:01,718 - I don't like that. - Sorry, but I have to. 39 00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:04,873 Really? What for? 40 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:07,994 - For my documentary. - About me? 41 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:10,311 Not about you. 42 00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:14,269 I need to record everything, because I'm shooting a movie. 43 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:18,679 OK - you want to shoot with this camera? 44 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:21,791 No! This is the movie. 45 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:25,032 - When did you have this idea? - It's always the same! 46 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:27,669 You don't trust me? 47 00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:31,719 - I don't believe it... - It's not about trust. 48 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:34,839 Why did you buy this camera? We can't even pay our taxes. 49 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,560 You want me to be happy? 50 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:40,519 - Let me show you something else. - What? 51 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:43,479 A Power Mac G5. 52 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:46,197 - The PC? - I threw it away! 53 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:49,876 - There was not enough room. - But it was portable... 54 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:53,517 - You never used it anyway. - Are you crazy? 55 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:55,478 What is happening? 56 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:59,600 Ok. How could I edit HD pictures with your PC? 57 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:02,116 You're crazy! Stop it! 58 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:04,715 Where did you get the money? 59 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:07,952 - Online credit. Very simple. - "Very simple"! 60 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:11,080 Fuck you. Leave me alone! 61 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:23,040 Aline is overwhelmed by the good news. 62 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:25,840 She's always been a bit emotional. 63 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:29,277 I'm sure she's very happy. This is great news... 64 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:30,999 Quite normal. 65 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:35,957 Maybe I'll wait before telling her, that I quit my job. 66 00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:38,680 I want to focus on my project. 67 00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:42,996 Since this is a Making-Of, 68 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:46,073 I want to show you my home. 69 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:49,919 This is my vault. Home, sweet home. 70 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:53,471 Aline never comes down here. 71 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:56,910 I keep myself busy here. 72 00:04:57,320 --> 00:05:01,075 Yes, I love DIY. I'm very talented. Like my dad. 73 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:04,199 When we bought this house with Aline, it was falling apart. 74 00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:07,717 We wanted to renovate all rooms by ourselves. 75 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:11,750 Well, one room a year. Well... I did. 76 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,913 I did not marry Jane Lockhart. 77 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,959 At the other hand... lucky for me. 78 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:22,594 When the movie is completed, I'll be rich and famous, 79 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:26,113 I'll pay some guys to fix this house. 80 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,231 I'll travel around the world with Aline. 81 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:33,030 No Romanian workers... Renovating is not like windshield cleaning. 82 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:36,034 Time flies, when you're having fun. 83 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:40,080 I'll introduce you to my best friend, Mathieu. 84 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:44,309 I asked my team members for a meeting. 85 00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:46,794 That's it. 86 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:53,040 I'll wait until someone opens the door. 87 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:58,510 - What's that? - A camera. 88 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:00,239 Nice. 89 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:02,357 Quiet, please! 90 00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:10,231 First of all... thank you. Thanks for coming here today. 91 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:12,676 Let me introduce you. 92 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:16,519 My best friend, Mathieu. 93 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:20,751 Camille, his wife. They've been married for 6 months now. 94 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:24,836 - Feels more like 6 years... - Are you shooting? 95 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:28,755 - Her cat. - Our wedding gift. Aract. 96 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:32,999 - Because cat's attract. - Nice wordplay. 97 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,799 Jonathan, a work colleague. 98 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:42,670 - Where is Arnaud? - He doesn't return my calls. 99 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,959 Try again. I need him here. 100 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:50,355 Now we finished the introduction, 101 00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:53,798 let me tell you why I wanted you all here today. 102 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:57,078 We'll shoot the best horror movie ever. 103 00:06:57,240 --> 00:07:01,120 - Why are you shooting now? - For the Making-Of. 104 00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:03,317 Thanks, Jonathan! 105 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:05,790 For the best movie ever, 106 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,839 you need the best Making-Of ever. 107 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:12,518 - You'll be shooting all the time? - Of course. 108 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:15,434 Let me tell you the plot. 109 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:20,240 It's the story of a group of friends... 110 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:22,596 They gather together during a week-end... 111 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,832 and one of them goes crazy and kills everybody. 112 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:29,391 I'm not a horror buff, but I don't think it's very... 113 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:32,634 What? That's why you quit your day job? 114 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:36,555 How could I shoot such a great movie, 115 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:40,634 if I were still working in a factory? 116 00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:43,279 Tell me? 117 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:47,237 You already quit, so... maybe I should tell you... 118 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:51,280 Arnaud got your job. 119 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,078 - Arnaud? - Yeah. 120 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:03,476 Let's read the script together. 121 00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:06,917 After that, I'll interview you for the Making-Of. 122 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:10,835 We'll talk about characters... and what you think about them. 123 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:15,353 Thank you, Arnaud, for coming. 124 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:19,352 How did you react when you saw me filming? 125 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:24,230 I thought you were ridiculous. 126 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:28,430 It's good to have dreams... but don't overreact. 127 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:31,760 You see what I mean? No? 128 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:34,716 I was a little surprised. 129 00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:41,033 Dunno... Same as my darling. 130 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:44,400 What do you think of the project? 131 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:50,354 - You want me to tell the truth? - Wait and see... 132 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:54,119 I prefer comedies. 133 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:57,514 What do you think of your part? 134 00:08:57,680 --> 00:09:00,559 I love it! I'm the lead actor. 135 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:03,795 But I'd like to review the last scene. 136 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:08,075 You could have been more considerate. I'm the first one to die. 137 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:10,637 I like my part, since I get to kill Camille. 138 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:13,998 I don't want to be compared to "Walker, Texas Ranger"... 139 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:17,790 - or some hero like that. - What do you prefer most? 140 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:21,153 - Killing Camille. - It's my friend's movie. 141 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:24,957 Once it's released, I'll be able to show off. 142 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:28,477 The plot is scary... so it might frighten all the girls. 143 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:31,314 You really want a double for Camille? 144 00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:35,433 2nd Step: First day of shooting. 145 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:40,319 I just edited the opening sequence. 146 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,637 This scene is very accurate 147 00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:46,271 and gives a good insight into the plot, 148 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:48,600 which is great. 149 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:51,832 Let me show you the first scene. The opening sequence. 150 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:54,155 I hope you'll enjoy it. 151 00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:33,311 Hi, Baby. You OK? 152 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:36,880 I forgot my keys. Luckily you're still home. 153 00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:39,631 Jonathan called. 154 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:43,400 - Is he OK? - Is he back from his holiday? 155 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:47,470 - I thought of inviting him. - Stop thinking. 156 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:51,194 You don't want to see your old... buddy? 157 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:53,920 You haven't seen him for 6 months. 158 00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:55,992 Of course. 159 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:58,751 What? You seem troubled. 160 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:02,434 I can't forget about this terrible mishap. 161 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:05,877 I'm so sorry for you. 162 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:10,433 I could invite Arnaud... and Jonathan. 163 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:13,035 We'd have fun. 164 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:16,750 We'd spend some time together and you might forget... 165 00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:19,230 about your nightmares. 166 00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:24,680 Yes... we'll have fun. 167 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:29,069 I admit, it's not as good as I thought. 168 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:32,597 I decided to talk to them tomorrow... 169 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:35,955 Even if they've been friends for a long time, 170 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:39,511 I don't want such details to threaten my project. 171 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:52,873 When you start a huge project such as mine, 172 00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:57,549 you realize 24 hours a day are not enough. 173 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:03,113 I decided to re-organize myself. 174 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,996 I decided to skip sleeping. 175 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,959 We are quite useless while sleeping. 176 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,154 How to skip sleep? Easy. 177 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:16,071 Three solutions. Number one... 178 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:19,952 Coffee. Gallons and gallons of coffee. 179 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:22,473 Number two... 180 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,557 Thermal shock. 181 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:29,037 Number three... 182 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,032 Hurting yourself. 183 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:42,589 Incredible. Aline having breakfast. 184 00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:45,436 A cup of coffee and... 185 00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:48,991 - a cookie of unknown origin. - You didn't sleep? 186 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:52,638 I know... But it's not as easy as you think. 187 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:55,998 - How is it going? - Some trouble with the score. 188 00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:58,277 Wasn't Arnaud supposed to help you? 189 00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:00,636 Yes, but Arnaud is a DJ. 190 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:04,111 His music is good for nightclubs. I'm doing a movie. 191 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:06,511 Ask him again to do it. 192 00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:09,480 No, I'm gonna ask Raphaël. 193 00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:11,871 - You remember him? - Yes, he's cool. 194 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:15,670 - Did you tell Arnaud? - Are you done with Arnaud? 195 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:17,957 Arnaud this, Arnaud that... 196 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:19,793 Stop it with Arnaud! 197 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:22,395 Stop shouting at me so early in the morning! 198 00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:25,314 - Go to bed and fuck yourself. - Don't talk to me like that. 199 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:28,120 It's always the same when talking about Arnaud. 200 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:32,115 What? You're shooting so early in the morning. Stop it! 201 00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:34,920 Stop fucking with Arnaud! I'm watching you. 202 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:37,470 Turn the camera off! 203 00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:43,475 Arnaud introduced us. Why are you jealous? 204 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:46,155 I never said anything about you and Camille. 205 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:49,279 - Camille is married to Mathieu! - They weren't together before. 206 00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:51,511 Stop shooting! 207 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:56,039 Step 3: Starting all over. 208 00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:59,114 You're probably asking yourselves, how did I get here? 209 00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:02,275 Easy. I took the car. 210 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:10,071 If I'm here now, it's because... I think this place... 211 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,592 is very peaceful. 212 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:16,399 Quiet and...good for a rest. 213 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:20,750 Yes, I need to rest. 214 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:25,840 I wanted to show you this bench. 215 00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:30,314 This beautiful bench in front of... this beautiful view. 216 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:34,232 I kissed Aline here for the very first time. 217 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:38,791 Nice place to start a relationship, right? 218 00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:48,313 Actually we met in a nightclub, 219 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,759 like millions of other jerks. 220 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:55,558 She was so drunk, she mistook me for her ex. 221 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,792 I'm fucked. 222 00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:16,550 We're 40 minutes late... thanks to Arnaud. 223 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:19,110 Get yourself a job. 224 00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:23,910 Finally together. I finished the editing 225 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:27,989 - and there is a small problem. - Did you erase the tapes? 226 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:31,871 No way. Though I should have, seeing it's all... 227 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:35,155 ...crap. We need to start all over. 228 00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:39,954 - From the beginning? - Right! Don't act like that. 229 00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:41,919 I was just asking. 230 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:44,675 If you'd have seen the movie... You would understand. 231 00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:48,072 - We start all over? - Yes, we do it all again. 232 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:50,596 Listen, Darling... especially you. 233 00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:53,912 If you'd do better, we wouldn't have to start all over. 234 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:57,994 On a mediocrity scale, we'd be the champions. 235 00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:02,157 - We're amateurs. - That's for sure. 236 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:05,711 - I'm the director, right? - Yes! 237 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,993 - And you are...? - Actors... Comedians. 238 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:12,160 - It's the same, right? - Yes, but who cares. 239 00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:16,400 The actors need to obey the director. 240 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:19,120 You do... what I tell you to. 241 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:21,590 Take 5 minutes. 242 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:24,270 I'll go for a smoke, then we'll continue. 243 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:29,078 That's it... 244 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:31,597 I told them off 245 00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:34,719 and restored order. 246 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:36,678 Right. 247 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,799 That was perfect... I was perfect. 248 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:53,317 What are you doing? Why did you knock the table? 249 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:57,110 You're the killer. You're moving calm, but you should kick ass instead. 250 00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:00,395 You didn't see them in 6 months. 251 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:02,119 So? 252 00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:05,997 Stop laughing! 253 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,155 - But... - Are you shitting me? 254 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:15,593 What are you doing? Walking like a zombie? 255 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:20,519 Mathieu, I wanted... Where are you going? 256 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:24,552 - Stand on your mark. - Shut up! Sorry... 257 00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:27,796 I was really into it... sorry. 258 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:30,270 Mathieu...do you know about Griffon? 259 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,875 We're not shooting Harry Potter! 260 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:36,273 Fuck... you woke up, that's great. 261 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:39,115 I asked you to put a shirt on! 262 00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:42,273 You didn't sleep... You had nightmares... 263 00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:47,436 Your cat is dead! This is cinema. OK? 264 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:50,596 It's cinema. Go! 265 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:57,995 - That's my last shot for today. - Where are you going? 266 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,516 My friends are waiting for me. 267 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,195 No! You've were 40 minutes late... 268 00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:06,432 - You are not leaving yet. - Don't talk to me like that! 269 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:10,275 When putting on your shirt, 270 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:12,591 the audience needs to feel something. 271 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:16,436 You don't want me to see my friends? Shut up! 272 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:25,950 There's no emotion! 273 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,754 I'm trying to explain all to them. They need to improve. 274 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:32,913 I really want to finish this, but they need to be better. 275 00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:36,636 I'm fucked! 276 00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:39,389 Not everyone is born an artist, but come on... 277 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:43,554 If we want to succeed, we have to fight for it. 278 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,393 I decided to edit today's dailies. 279 00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,673 The sequence I'll show you is the one before the slaughter. 280 00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:03,311 It's truly an interesting scene. 281 00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:08,036 It explains the reason for the future massacre. 282 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,519 Enjoy. 283 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,076 - You OK, Arnaud? - Yes. 284 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,912 I feel a little nervous. 285 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:25,992 What's going on? You know you can tell me everything. 286 00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:28,999 I can't tell you. 287 00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:31,632 Go ahead. 288 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,312 I didn't tell you, 289 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,992 because of Mathieu. 290 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,316 You know, the black car... 291 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:44,473 I know, Griffon's death was a real shock. 292 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:48,359 But come on... Griffon was only a cat. 293 00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:52,595 Nothing will ever replace Griffon. 294 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:57,080 He should get over it. 295 00:19:57,240 --> 00:19:59,755 He doesn't sleep any more. He's not crazy. 296 00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:01,036 Right. 297 00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:04,718 He scared me cutting the chicken. 298 00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:11,114 - What are you talking about? - Arnaud... 299 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:15,194 You scared him, cutting the chicken as if it was a human body. 300 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,313 Right. You don't like my humour? 301 00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,760 Maybe you'll prefer my deeds. 302 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,837 Where are you going? 303 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,913 - To cut some wood... - Right... 304 00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:31,670 before cutting something else. 305 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:36,756 Did you see how he talks to me? I'm sure, he was threatening me. 306 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:39,915 Stop it. You're paranoid. 307 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:45,550 What is she doing? I asked her to come home early 308 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:48,633 to show her the latest progress on my project. 309 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:53,112 I don't have... any more time to lose! 310 00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:58,150 I can't lose any more time. 311 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:03,955 I hope she'll pick up the phone. 312 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:07,119 If she says she's with Arnaud... 313 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,592 I'll be pissed... 314 00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:15,319 There she is... Yes, that's her. 315 00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:18,959 Step 4: Everybody is pissing me off. 316 00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,513 - What do you think? - It's crap 317 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,240 What? 318 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:28,515 Is that why you're getting us in trouble? 319 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,400 What? We're not in trouble. 320 00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:33,995 It's an investment. 321 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:37,312 Do you really think you'll make any money from that? 322 00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:40,030 It's not my fault, if the actors suck. 323 00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:44,558 You know from the very beginning, if an actor is good or bad. 324 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,838 Maybe it's your fault? 325 00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:50,516 It's not only the actors that suck. 326 00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,354 Tell me, why is it my fault? 327 00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:56,399 The dialogues are well and precise... 328 00:21:57,520 --> 00:22:00,319 Your dialogues suck. 329 00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:04,076 I had to cut out Aline's scandalous remarks that followed. 330 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:07,870 I don't agree with what such non-artistic people think. 331 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,714 Seeing you're the biggest fan of "The Bold And The Beautiful", 332 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,475 you'd better shut up and listen to people like me! 333 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:15,996 Talented artists like me! 334 00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:18,516 - Foolish idiots! - Where are you going? 335 00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:21,036 - I need to calm down. - I see. 336 00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:24,671 - You can't stand the truth. - What truth? 337 00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:27,036 That you're an asshole? 338 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:30,113 Or that we're in dept because of your shit? 339 00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:32,636 Or that we won't have any friends any more... 340 00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:34,917 You're talking about Arnaud again, bitch! 341 00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:37,151 I never mentioned Arnaud! 342 00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:40,392 He can't stand the fact that I'm a director. 343 00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:43,234 I think he can't stand your fucking attitude! 344 00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:44,629 You talked to him? 345 00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:48,396 - What's wrong with you? - When did you talk to him? 346 00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:50,756 When did you fuck together? 347 00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:57,277 Darling? 348 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:02,720 We got carried away! 349 00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:06,079 Give me another chance. 350 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,190 If you want... and I'm OK with it... 351 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:13,872 we could spend some quality time together. 352 00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:19,830 Did you hear me? 353 00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:23,357 I'm coming. 354 00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:44,398 Hello. Jonathan? 355 00:23:45,360 --> 00:23:47,750 I'm not disturbing you? You OK? 356 00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:50,790 Don't worry, I'm fine. 357 00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:53,671 I would like to... 358 00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:57,117 I need someone to talk to... What are you doing... 359 00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:59,272 right now? 360 00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:02,673 Will you have a drink with me? 361 00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:05,511 That sounds fine. 362 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:09,039 Let me freshen up and I'll join you. 363 00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:10,879 Thanks. 364 00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:22,154 You're shooting here? Don't! 365 00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:25,233 - I'll be in trouble. - Why would you? 366 00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,676 I'm in deeper shit than you. 367 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:31,356 We came here to talk and relax. The camera won't help. 368 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:34,155 I need to record everything. 369 00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:37,314 I have to... it's the best way to... 370 00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:41,360 - Let's go over there... - What's going on? 371 00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:45,959 I don't want to talk about it. 372 00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:49,396 - It's Aline? - How do you know? 373 00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:52,951 - I talked to Arnauld. - You talked to this shithead? 374 00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:55,795 They know each other for a long time. 375 00:24:56,240 --> 00:25:00,120 He said, she's not doing well... He's fucking her. 376 00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:03,991 You're right. It's about Aline. We had a fight. 377 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:13,913 Fuck, Come here! Shut up! 378 00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:24,269 I don't give a shit about your excuses! 379 00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:30,559 - I'm sorry! - I don't care! 380 00:25:50,120 --> 00:25:52,555 Shut the fuck up! 381 00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:02,791 - How did it all start? - Because of that motherfucker! 382 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:05,719 You sure? 383 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:10,880 She said it was because of my movie, but I know it was an excuse. 384 00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:14,153 - You sure? - I'm not stupid! 385 00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:22,873 If I'm right, I already made my decision. 386 00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:27,309 I won't give up on my dream for a simple love story. 387 00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:33,029 - What are you going to do? - Some changes... 388 00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:35,559 That's all. 389 00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:39,711 - Will you cool down? - What do you mean? 390 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:43,639 I don't want to hurt you... 391 00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:46,276 but these last few weeks, you've been... 392 00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:49,000 - Mean? - I don't know... 393 00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:54,873 Fuck. 394 00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:44,990 Why don't you get wet? 395 00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:54,029 Imagine you would stop with your movie? 396 00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:58,234 You still have the dailies. 397 00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:02,071 Why don't you do... a Making-Of? 398 00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:05,599 A movie within the movie... That sounds great. 399 00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:07,998 Pardon me... 400 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:13,994 You want me to stop my movie to do a documentary about us? 401 00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:18,550 It would be the first Making-Of on the big screen. 402 00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:22,995 You really think there would be people stupid enough, 403 00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:26,039 to go out and pay 8 Euros 404 00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:29,989 to see a bunch of idiots in a Making-Of, in the cinema? 405 00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:35,279 The world is full of idiots... 406 00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:38,915 You think I'm an idiot? 407 00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:42,678 Impossible! 408 00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:46,117 This bastard told me to stop the movie! Doesn't he realize? 409 00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:49,239 Every year, a bunch of clowns 410 00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:53,235 become famous by doing stupid things in front of a camera! 411 00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:56,274 They're not smarter than me! 412 00:28:56,440 --> 00:29:00,320 I don't want to wake up every morning like an asshole. 413 00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:03,997 I want to do something to prove what I'm capable of. 414 00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:06,356 I want to accomplish my dream. 415 00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:10,514 I think they're jealous. Right, they're jealous 416 00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:14,390 of me and what I'm capable of. They might be my friends... 417 00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:18,031 But there should not be any jealousy between real friends. 418 00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:20,112 No friends are like that. 419 00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:23,273 They want to let me down? 420 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:26,151 I trust them 421 00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:29,233 and they shit on me! I have to calm down... 422 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:32,712 I need to keep focused... I'll change the script... cool... 423 00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:35,236 because, I'll fuck them all. 424 00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:38,837 I'll force them to play their parts until the end! 425 00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:43,150 They will see what I'm capable of. They will see! 426 00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:46,199 No way! I don't know, if they realize. 427 00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:49,194 They piss me off...Fuck! 428 00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:51,113 Bastards! 429 00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:35,832 She's still here... 430 00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:11,833 I'm Raphaël... 30 years old. 431 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:14,435 I'm the movie's score composer... I hope so... 432 00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:17,320 I have no other choice. 433 00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:20,279 I'll resume the plot for you. 434 00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:23,797 4 friends spend the week-end together 435 00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:26,919 and one of them has been traumatized, 436 00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:30,391 - goes berserk and kills everybody. - Simple story... 437 00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:33,917 - You're the simple one! - That's not what I meant. 438 00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:38,040 Remember the classics... Hitchcock, Kubrick... 439 00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:41,758 Why not be inspired by them? 440 00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:44,674 - People who died 50 years ago... - So? 441 00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:47,514 You should refer to what has been done before. 442 00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:49,911 Ozu, Bresson... 443 00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:52,549 My actors already pissed me off. If you do... 444 00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:55,110 I'll never finish this fucking movie! 445 00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:58,114 Listen and tell me what you think. 446 00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:01,671 - Sure... if it's OK for you. - Here we go. 447 00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,715 Not bad. When did you do that? 448 00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:13,715 - Six months ago. - Honestly... It's quite good. 449 00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:17,553 It's good stuff. The lyrics... great! 450 00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:21,514 Can I have the rights for my movie? 451 00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:24,111 Step 5: First day of shooting. 452 00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:26,078 Without Arnaud. 453 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:29,993 Sorry, Darling... Where are the others? 454 00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:33,751 - In the room next door. - Fucking again? 455 00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:39,033 I met Cédric yesterday. We talked. 456 00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:43,874 Apparently they had a fight. 457 00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:48,356 - It's a little tense between them. - She drives me nuts. 458 00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:52,309 - She asks me to call her. - Why doesn't she call back? 459 00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:58,320 It's been less than 24 hours... I'm fucked. 460 00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:05,315 Everything's fine, if only we spent over an hour filming this scene... 461 00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:07,836 Jonathan, stop laughing! 462 00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:09,912 I'm just nervous... 463 00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:13,232 Maybe a few kicks in your face would help? 464 00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:15,596 Dunno... but it would certainly hurt. 465 00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:18,434 - Let's go. - I'm not ready yet. 466 00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:21,274 Are you kidding me? 467 00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:25,833 Action! 468 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,390 How are you feeling today, Jonathan? 469 00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:31,632 Not very god... I mean good! 470 00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:35,400 You're shitting me! 471 00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:38,715 Focus, Jonathan! 472 00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:42,191 Focus! And you too, darling! 473 00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:46,476 It's not my fault... 474 00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:49,030 It's because of the Pope's visit on TV... 475 00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:51,920 - I don't get it... - I'm fed up. 476 00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:56,076 Fed up of this crap? 477 00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:59,631 I'm fed up with you comedians! 478 00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:04,234 - Don't get upset. - Sit on your ass and leave it to us. 479 00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:06,278 Don't talk to her like that! 480 00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:09,512 If I'm like that, it's because I have to deal with you! 481 00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:12,991 You spend hours smoking outside... 482 00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:16,597 - If you were doing any good... - What's going on? 483 00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:19,150 Keep shitting, I'm talking to Jonathan. 484 00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:21,835 - You call this talking? - I'm out of here! 485 00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:25,994 - Bastard! You are leaving us? - Yes! I'm fed up. 486 00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:28,959 OK then, go fuck yourself. 487 00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:32,637 Yeah, right! 488 00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:38,316 When can't you admit being a loser, you are upset. 489 00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:44,479 - You OK? - I'm pissed off. 490 00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:47,480 - By what? - Everything. 491 00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:51,197 I'm releasing pressure, that's all. 492 00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:55,113 Why do you keep shooting this movie? 493 00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:59,552 Are you kidding me? That's all I have left... 494 00:35:00,240 --> 00:35:03,597 It was just asking. I get it, everything is fine. 495 00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:06,594 All I want is to rewrite the script. 496 00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:09,355 What do you want us to do right now? 497 00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:11,830 I'd like to shoot the opening sequence again, 498 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:14,356 so it might match the scenes we've already shot. 499 00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:18,070 - Since we lost two actors... - We continue shooting? 500 00:35:18,240 --> 00:35:20,232 What's your problem? 501 00:35:21,720 --> 00:35:23,359 Action! 502 00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:34,240 Jonathan just called. We should invite them. 503 00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:40,154 He's spending his holidays with Arnaud. 504 00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:43,791 - Why are you closing your eyes? - Because of the light... 505 00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:46,316 Go back outside... go! 506 00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:50,550 Fuck! Leave her alone, we're shooting a movie! 507 00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:57,312 - Should I open the door? - Didn't you tell me to come in? 508 00:35:57,480 --> 00:36:00,359 - Explain it to her! - You suck. 509 00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:05,395 He didn't say "Action". 510 00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:07,593 Action! 511 00:36:08,840 --> 00:36:12,277 - What was myline? - Suckers... 512 00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:16,320 The next shot will be fine. Start with the phone call... 513 00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:21,111 Jonathan just called. 514 00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:25,433 He spends his holidays with Arnaud. I thought we might invite them. 515 00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:28,513 Are you thinking now? 516 00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:31,793 Stop! 517 00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:36,000 - No, wait... - No, you are always laughing. 518 00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:39,119 - I'm fed up. - I did fine. 519 00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:41,796 Camille... forget it... 520 00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:44,350 Next is the bath tub scene. 521 00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:49,715 The bath tub scene. 522 00:36:50,720 --> 00:36:53,110 - What bath? - That one. 523 00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:56,309 - Go ahead. - Are you crazy? 524 00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:59,154 - You never told me to get naked. - Right... 525 00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:02,040 I only came up with that scene yesterday, you couldn't know. 526 00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:03,793 I won't do it. 527 00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:07,636 You need to be prepared, if you want to become famous. 528 00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:10,999 I gave you the part without taking your panties off. 529 00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:14,119 - What do you mean? - Trust me. 530 00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:16,954 Do you trust me? Look here. 531 00:37:17,720 --> 00:37:19,837 Don't touch my shirt! 532 00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:23,198 I want to show your shoulder. It will make things more exciting. 533 00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:27,271 I don't want your tits in the picture. 534 00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:31,070 - I just want to see your ass. - How dare you ask me that? 535 00:37:31,240 --> 00:37:33,471 Who you think you are? 536 00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:36,439 Don't touch my camera! 537 00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:38,832 Leave me alone! 538 00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:55,953 Let the water fill your lungs. 539 00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:25,199 She was acting like a superstar. 540 00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:28,239 Done is done... It's impossible to go back. 541 00:38:29,720 --> 00:38:32,713 It reminds me of Aline's death, 542 00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:36,836 but this one lacks drama. Every movie needs a guideline. 543 00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:39,799 There are always rules. 544 00:38:40,120 --> 00:38:42,999 I need to do to Camille what I did to Aline. 545 00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:47,680 And I will do to Camille, what I did to Aline. 546 00:39:12,720 --> 00:39:14,951 I can't stick it in! 547 00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:18,592 Seems Mathieu hasn't been here very often. 548 00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:34,915 I know what you're thinking... that she died too quickly 549 00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:38,913 without imagination. You're right... 550 00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:42,430 but I might have the solution. 551 00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:54,000 I almost forgot about the camera. 552 00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:57,353 Mathieu? Can I borrow some tools from your cellar? 553 00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:00,437 - Go ahead. - Thanks. 554 00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:04,480 - Careful! Don't mess around. - I'm no pig. 555 00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:11,953 Hammer and chisel...very efficient. 556 00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:15,592 The hammer. 557 00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:19,559 A broken bottle. 558 00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:25,272 Getting serious. 559 00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:33,559 Are you ready? Let's go! 560 00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:36,838 I'll mess up her face... but with style. 561 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:39,834 Maybe you already saw such a thing on the internet, 562 00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:43,357 on YouTube or other sites... I'll do the "beat box". 563 00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:45,477 What that is? 564 00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:49,270 People, who produce sounds with objects or with their mouth. 565 00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:52,911 The editing helps to create the music. I'll do the same. 566 00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:54,912 Watch. 567 00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:07,793 3... 2...1... let's go. 568 00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:42,759 Camille... what are you doing? 569 00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:48,239 What did you do? 570 00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:51,040 I'll call the police, motherfucker! 571 00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:55,193 Why is everybody pissing me off? 572 00:41:58,000 --> 00:41:59,798 Mathieu! 573 00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:03,716 Cut the crap! 574 00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:10,197 Hang up the phone! I'll hurt you, Mathieu! 575 00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:13,080 - I'll kill you! - Cut the crap! 576 00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:19,155 Motherfucker! What did you do? 577 00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:30,117 I'm so sorry! I fucked Mathieu big way... 578 00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:34,111 He looks strong, but he didn't stand a chance. 579 00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:37,753 I'm sorry. This is the first time. 580 00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:41,150 The battery died. 581 00:42:42,520 --> 00:42:45,035 I killed Mathieu, 582 00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:48,955 then I cut up Camille 583 00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:51,635 and put her in those bags over there. 584 00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:55,314 Then I cut up Mathieu... 585 00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:59,914 well... I started before realizing the camera wasn't recording any more. 586 00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:03,792 No more battery. 587 00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:13,240 What? 588 00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:16,350 Yes... I remember... 589 00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:20,155 the guideline... I came up with it. 590 00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:24,193 I remember what I did to Camille and Aline, but... 591 00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:26,830 this time it's different. 592 00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:51,671 It's those with the biggest mouth, who have the smallest... 593 00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:04,037 I was thinking... In every movie, there are certain stars... 594 00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:07,432 you know, people whose face remind you of someone else, 595 00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:09,990 but you never remember their names. 596 00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:12,550 They never get the leading part. 597 00:44:13,160 --> 00:44:15,072 Not in my movie. 598 00:44:15,240 --> 00:44:18,597 Today you don't become famous by talent, but by popularity. 599 00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:21,036 Like reality TV stars. 600 00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:24,352 None of those people have any talent... 601 00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:27,513 but they still become famous. 602 00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:30,555 Why? Because they show their asses. 603 00:44:30,720 --> 00:44:34,714 Like the guys from "Jackass". They eat their own puke! 604 00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:39,280 They eat puke and become famous. 605 00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:43,229 I also decided to become famous. 606 00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:48,437 I'll eat shit. 607 00:45:15,720 --> 00:45:17,393 No good! 608 00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:29,760 Fuck the Code of Harry. 609 00:45:57,600 --> 00:46:00,593 Sorry... that was too tempting. 610 00:46:01,440 --> 00:46:05,434 Every horror movie has its "Boo" moment. Its surprising moment. 611 00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:07,838 That was the one. 612 00:46:22,720 --> 00:46:25,110 I just called Jonathan. 613 00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:27,840 He'll pass by my house. 614 00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:30,640 I had another idea. 615 00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:33,793 An artist always needs new ideas. 616 00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:36,755 There's been no animal in my movie. 617 00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:39,560 Every horror movie has its animal. Cats... 618 00:46:39,720 --> 00:46:43,111 snakes... dogs... sharks... spiders... 619 00:46:43,840 --> 00:46:46,309 In my... great movie... 620 00:46:46,480 --> 00:46:48,870 there have been none. 621 00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:53,039 Just like the commercial breaks, 622 00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:55,999 I'll do an "animal-break". 623 00:46:56,720 --> 00:46:59,519 I'll go and get "Aract" for you. 624 00:47:00,880 --> 00:47:02,360 Pussycat... 625 00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:11,839 All right... you think I'm cruel. 626 00:47:24,040 --> 00:47:27,590 They say cats have nine lives... Not true. 627 00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:47,511 Two, or three... OK... but nine? 628 00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:51,714 No way. All right... 629 00:47:52,240 --> 00:47:54,880 Here we go again. 630 00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:07,076 - Thanks for passing by. - You're welcome. 631 00:48:07,240 --> 00:48:10,790 You could have got here a little faster, but no worries. 632 00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:14,598 I called you. I told you I wanted 633 00:48:14,760 --> 00:48:17,992 to excuse myself for what happened this morning. 634 00:48:18,160 --> 00:48:21,073 I'll apologize in front of the camera. 635 00:48:21,240 --> 00:48:23,709 Sorry, Jonathan. 636 00:48:25,560 --> 00:48:28,519 - You know... - Don't worry. 637 00:48:28,680 --> 00:48:33,152 - That doesn't mean, that... - It's normal. I was wrong. 638 00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:39,069 Otherwise, I think your idea of a Making-Of is good. 639 00:48:39,520 --> 00:48:42,831 At first, I wanted to shoot a horror movie. 640 00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:46,710 I changed the script, to make a Making-Of out of my horror movie. 641 00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:50,760 Mathieu is no longer the killer... I am! 642 00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:53,236 You're right! Not bad. 643 00:48:53,720 --> 00:48:56,360 The director kills his own actors. 644 00:48:56,520 --> 00:48:59,877 I already killed Aline. With a hammer, 645 00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:03,477 no troubles, really. Camille... drowned. 646 00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:06,519 I finished her with a grinder. 647 00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:09,354 With a grinder? Great! 648 00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:13,669 She didn't say... Mathieu, he also got killed. 649 00:49:13,840 --> 00:49:17,356 I cut him in half. With his own chainsaw. 650 00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:20,319 - I thought I'd use his tools. - Great thinking. 651 00:49:20,480 --> 00:49:24,269 Arnaud... well, fuck him. He's a motherfucker... 652 00:49:24,440 --> 00:49:28,320 - I don't want to talk about him... - I'm the only one left. 653 00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:31,439 - You're the only one left. - How will you kill me? 654 00:49:31,600 --> 00:49:34,479 I never think about that beforehand. 655 00:49:34,640 --> 00:49:38,429 At first, I wanted to kill you in Mathieu's and Camille's bathroom, 656 00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:42,710 but...seeing you're the last one... 657 00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:45,952 The one the audience remembers. 658 00:49:46,120 --> 00:49:48,589 It needs to be special... 659 00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:54,470 - Yes, outstanding. - Exactly. Outstanding! 660 00:49:56,720 --> 00:49:59,679 I thought of killing you in a new location. 661 00:49:59,840 --> 00:50:03,117 In the cellar. That's different from the other murders. 662 00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:05,636 I'll make it into the "unrated version"? 663 00:50:05,800 --> 00:50:09,919 What? They only use such taglines to sell more DVDs. 664 00:50:12,240 --> 00:50:15,119 We don't need a reason to sell more. 665 00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:18,432 I don't want to rip anyone off who's buying our movie. 666 00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:22,150 - OK... When do we start? - All right. 667 00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:26,479 - Let's have a drink first. - OK. 668 00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:30,270 Take a coke from the fridge. I'll grab myself a coffee. 669 00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:49,592 Jonathan! 670 00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:53,958 You OK? 671 00:50:55,200 --> 00:50:58,398 You know I'm happy you're here with me. 672 00:50:58,560 --> 00:51:01,439 You're right on time for the finale. 673 00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:05,070 Things have changed. 674 00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:11,520 You're asking yourself what has changed? Good news! 675 00:51:11,760 --> 00:51:15,640 I know what I'll do to you. Not a great idea, but... 676 00:51:16,080 --> 00:51:18,959 you'll like it. 677 00:51:20,240 --> 00:51:22,880 I'll smash your face, 678 00:51:23,040 --> 00:51:26,511 as a tribute to a movie I like very much..."Misery", you know? 679 00:51:26,680 --> 00:51:29,673 It's the story of a crazy nurse, 680 00:51:30,080 --> 00:51:33,471 who tortures her favourite author. I'll do the same. 681 00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:37,357 I know you'll like such a homage. 682 00:51:37,520 --> 00:51:41,480 This won't be a simple act. I'm an artist. 683 00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:44,599 I'll do something artistic. 684 00:51:46,720 --> 00:51:49,713 I'll add some music. 685 00:51:50,520 --> 00:51:54,309 An enlightening song, which sets a good mood... 686 00:51:54,840 --> 00:51:58,436 Like..."Downtown" by Petula Clark, you know? 687 00:52:04,680 --> 00:52:08,037 Or Bach, you know? You're like a Belgian... 688 00:52:08,200 --> 00:52:11,557 you don't know anything besides fries and beer. 689 00:52:12,200 --> 00:52:15,398 Imagine the music accompanying... 690 00:52:15,560 --> 00:52:17,916 your screams 691 00:52:18,080 --> 00:52:21,835 and the sweet noise of the hammer squashing your skin 692 00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:24,799 and crushing your bones. 693 00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:28,556 You see? You don't know anything. 694 00:52:32,680 --> 00:52:35,036 It's called the "heel-method". 695 00:52:35,200 --> 00:52:38,238 They used it in mines to make sure, 696 00:52:38,520 --> 00:52:42,036 the slaves didn't escape with the diamonds. 697 00:52:43,440 --> 00:52:45,591 I'll be quick. 698 00:52:48,200 --> 00:52:50,192 Pardon. 699 00:53:02,920 --> 00:53:05,640 I didn't say it wouldn't hurt. 700 00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:09,589 I said I would be quick. See, only one left. 701 00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:19,310 See? I didn't lie to you, Jonathan. 702 00:53:20,800 --> 00:53:24,635 This morning, you never thought this would happen, right? 703 00:53:27,520 --> 00:53:30,991 Destiny is a bitch. 704 00:53:37,600 --> 00:53:40,752 You're upsetting the neighbours, Jonathan. 705 00:53:44,280 --> 00:53:47,079 Shut up, Chewbacca. 706 00:53:55,760 --> 00:53:57,752 Help me. 707 00:54:11,720 --> 00:54:15,191 At first, I wanted to club his head off... 708 00:54:15,360 --> 00:54:19,195 but I only managed to crush his face. So I thought... 709 00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:22,194 No... surprise! 710 00:54:23,160 --> 00:54:26,710 The return of the grinder. Improvisation. 711 00:54:47,960 --> 00:54:51,192 I wanted this movie to be instructional 712 00:54:51,360 --> 00:54:54,194 I'll teach you a few things. 713 00:54:54,360 --> 00:54:57,273 First, I'll show you a rather eye-catching, 714 00:54:57,440 --> 00:55:00,638 but unknown sexual act... the "Dirty Sanchez". 715 00:55:00,800 --> 00:55:05,158 What is a "Dirty Sanchez"? Using your dick or your finger, 716 00:55:05,320 --> 00:55:08,074 you paint a moustache using excrements. 717 00:55:08,240 --> 00:55:10,835 I told you it's not very well-known. 718 00:55:24,520 --> 00:55:27,479 This is a Dirty Sanchez. 719 00:55:27,760 --> 00:55:31,674 Sorry, it's hard to see, but... you get the idea. 720 00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:40,675 I suppose you want me to do the usual thing? 721 00:55:40,840 --> 00:55:44,197 All right, let's do something new. 722 00:55:44,360 --> 00:55:47,000 "Oesophageal coitus". 723 00:55:56,880 --> 00:55:59,873 What to do to be famous... 724 00:56:03,720 --> 00:56:06,792 Sorry, I couldn't help myself. 725 00:56:07,400 --> 00:56:10,279 I warned you before! 726 00:56:14,520 --> 00:56:16,398 What? 727 00:56:16,560 --> 00:56:19,280 Arnaud! What do you want? 728 00:56:19,920 --> 00:56:22,515 Talk to me? About what? 729 00:56:26,240 --> 00:56:28,118 Well, listen... 730 00:56:28,960 --> 00:56:32,032 Come and see me in one hour... 731 00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:43,959 Looks like Jonathan wasn't the last after all. 732 00:56:44,120 --> 00:56:47,511 Arnaud might regret this phone call, 733 00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:51,313 but I kept the best for the end. 734 00:56:54,680 --> 00:56:56,353 Surprise! 735 00:56:56,520 --> 00:57:00,230 It's not raining frogs, but Arnaud is punctual! 736 00:57:02,160 --> 00:57:05,153 You wanted to see me? 737 00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:08,036 - Yes. - Why? 738 00:57:08,880 --> 00:57:11,873 Actually... I came to see you, 739 00:57:12,040 --> 00:57:15,511 because I don't want us to be mad at each other. 740 00:57:15,680 --> 00:57:18,718 - You made a fool out of me. - Stop! 741 00:57:18,880 --> 00:57:21,873 I didn't come here to argue. 742 00:57:23,080 --> 00:57:26,517 - Why are you here then? - I dunno... 743 00:57:26,680 --> 00:57:28,831 To talk. 744 00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:32,789 - We can go and have a drink. - You want to go out? 745 00:57:32,960 --> 00:57:36,510 Why not. Friends have drinks together. 746 00:57:36,680 --> 00:57:40,469 - It might surprise you. - For a coke? 747 00:57:41,280 --> 00:57:44,273 - I have some in the fridge. - Great. 748 00:57:47,720 --> 00:57:50,519 - You want me to get it? - No. Wait here. 749 00:58:11,240 --> 00:58:12,720 Thanks. 750 00:58:16,720 --> 00:58:20,600 - What about your movie? - Are you really interested? 751 00:58:20,760 --> 00:58:24,595 - You told me it was shit. - I never said so. 752 00:58:25,680 --> 00:58:29,560 And... I'm just asking how you're doing? Don't get mad. 753 00:58:29,960 --> 00:58:33,510 White flag... Just like your T-shirt...get it? 754 00:58:34,200 --> 00:58:37,989 I changed the whole movie. I'm the killer now. 755 00:58:38,280 --> 00:58:41,557 That's why I wear this shirt. Since you came here... 756 00:58:41,800 --> 00:58:45,111 If you're still interested in having a part... 757 00:58:45,960 --> 00:58:48,316 Or joining the shoot... 758 00:58:48,480 --> 00:58:51,518 If you're not interested, it's OK... 759 00:58:51,920 --> 00:58:54,992 I'd still have a part for you... 760 00:58:57,080 --> 00:59:00,357 - I'll take care of you. - I stay here? 761 00:59:00,520 --> 00:59:03,513 - Be careful. - Close your eyes. 762 00:59:10,360 --> 00:59:13,239 You'll get your money's worth. 763 01:00:13,120 --> 01:00:16,511 We need to wait until Arnaud regains consciousness. 764 01:00:21,680 --> 01:00:23,637 I know what you're thinking... 765 01:00:23,800 --> 01:00:26,634 "He ties up everyone up before killing them". 766 01:00:26,800 --> 01:00:30,510 If you're not happy, shoot your own fucking horror movie! 767 01:00:36,960 --> 01:00:40,840 To be honest, Arnaud is the one who pissed me off most. 768 01:00:41,320 --> 01:00:45,200 I had an idea of the perfect ending. I'll trash his skull! 769 01:00:46,720 --> 01:00:49,519 It's too late. Stop complaining. 770 01:00:51,480 --> 01:00:54,359 It won't take long. 771 01:01:02,480 --> 01:01:04,437 All set? 772 01:01:34,160 --> 01:01:38,074 I need to stop, this sandpaper is useless. 773 01:01:38,320 --> 01:01:41,313 It would take hours to finish the job. 774 01:01:41,560 --> 01:01:44,632 I'll take another sheet... 775 01:01:45,480 --> 01:01:48,871 It will take less time... and time is money. 776 01:01:49,400 --> 01:01:51,198 I'll do that. 777 01:02:34,880 --> 01:02:37,349 Fuck, fuck... 778 01:02:52,800 --> 01:02:54,598 Shit! 779 01:03:08,000 --> 01:03:10,276 I have to draw my murders. 780 01:03:10,440 --> 01:03:13,433 You don't understand, but it doesn't matter. 781 01:03:30,320 --> 01:03:32,312 It's almost over. 782 01:04:25,120 --> 01:04:28,113 I should have made a larger hole... 783 01:04:29,040 --> 01:04:32,431 I bet people like you would love to have a closer look. 784 01:05:51,520 --> 01:05:55,514 I took all to this place, because the environment is nicer for a burial. 785 01:05:56,600 --> 01:05:59,718 I didn't want them to rot in my basement. 786 01:07:12,680 --> 01:07:15,832 This song... I forgot somebody. 787 01:07:19,200 --> 01:07:20,475 Raphaël? 788 01:07:20,640 --> 01:07:23,758 Sorry, I don't have time to explain. 789 01:07:40,600 --> 01:07:42,239 Fuck... 790 01:07:42,960 --> 01:07:45,953 I forgot to take care of Raphaël. 791 01:07:47,960 --> 01:07:50,839 My fault for being careless. 792 01:08:03,280 --> 01:08:06,273 Now, that everything is over, 793 01:08:06,680 --> 01:08:10,196 we might observe a minute of silence. 794 01:08:14,480 --> 01:08:16,915 One minute of silence. 795 01:08:41,040 --> 01:08:43,874 Sorry... I didn't bury it. 796 01:08:44,040 --> 01:08:46,635 I knew it would be useful. 797 01:08:47,840 --> 01:08:51,754 Since it's over, we might conclude this story. 798 01:08:54,120 --> 01:08:56,476 On the other hand, since it's almost over, 799 01:08:56,640 --> 01:08:59,519 I thought you'd love one last disgusting act. 800 01:08:59,680 --> 01:09:01,672 What do you think? 801 01:09:16,160 --> 01:09:19,153 My balls feel like dried grapes. 802 01:09:34,080 --> 01:09:37,596 It's time to say goodbye. My parents just called. 803 01:09:37,760 --> 01:09:40,594 They're on their way back from their holidays. 804 01:09:40,760 --> 01:09:44,436 They will surely pass by to see me... as always... 805 01:09:44,600 --> 01:09:47,991 to tell me about their great trip and bring me a present. 806 01:09:48,160 --> 01:09:50,595 A table mat, I guess... 807 01:09:52,440 --> 01:09:55,319 Every story has its conclusion. 808 01:09:55,480 --> 01:09:58,120 Here we go: the finale. 809 01:09:58,280 --> 01:10:01,239 First of all, I would like to apologize 810 01:10:01,400 --> 01:10:04,120 to all the people I might have offended. 811 01:10:04,280 --> 01:10:08,240 I can already imagine the reviews... "It's a scandal"... "It's horrific". 812 01:10:08,400 --> 01:10:11,837 "It's horrible". "It's shit". "It's free violence"... 813 01:10:12,000 --> 01:10:15,038 Nothing is for free in life. 814 01:10:15,200 --> 01:10:17,556 Why even "free violence"? 815 01:10:17,720 --> 01:10:21,509 Since you're still watching, you wanted to see this. 816 01:10:23,000 --> 01:10:25,754 The reason I did all this 817 01:10:26,000 --> 01:10:28,595 is not because I've seen too much violence on TV 818 01:10:28,760 --> 01:10:31,719 or because I played too many violent video games, or... 819 01:10:31,880 --> 01:10:34,349 because I'm not happy or what other shit, 820 01:10:34,520 --> 01:10:37,513 these so-called experts would tell about me... 821 01:10:37,840 --> 01:10:40,833 If I did all this, it's because I wanted to. 822 01:10:41,880 --> 01:10:43,792 I'm happy... 823 01:10:44,920 --> 01:10:47,151 satisfied... free... 824 01:10:47,320 --> 01:10:50,199 happy... yes... happy. 825 01:10:50,600 --> 01:10:52,990 Yes, I'm glad. 826 01:10:55,080 --> 01:10:57,914 There is only one thing I'm sad about... 827 01:10:58,080 --> 01:11:01,869 I won't be able to finish the editing by myself. 828 01:11:02,200 --> 01:11:06,035 That's why I left precise notes on my computer, 829 01:11:06,200 --> 01:11:09,591 so some professional might finish the editing. 830 01:11:10,320 --> 01:11:14,314 He'll be certainly able to enhance some sound effects and picture quality. 831 01:11:15,280 --> 01:11:18,273 A chapter of my story is ending. 832 01:11:26,040 --> 01:11:27,713 Sorry... 833 01:11:28,880 --> 01:11:31,873 I talked about many things. 834 01:11:32,840 --> 01:11:35,833 Sex, blood... twists... 835 01:11:36,400 --> 01:11:39,393 violence, frights, horror... 836 01:11:39,760 --> 01:11:43,151 and even a bit of love... even if it didn't end well. 837 01:11:43,760 --> 01:11:45,831 Many things. 838 01:11:47,120 --> 01:11:49,077 Cinema. 839 01:11:49,680 --> 01:11:52,434 The purity of cinema. 840 01:11:56,280 --> 01:11:59,079 I hope to see you soon. 841 01:12:01,000 --> 01:12:03,993 Right, we'll meet again. 842 01:12:29,360 --> 01:12:33,149 What would you do if you were rich and famous? 843 01:12:37,680 --> 01:12:41,037 I'd leave for Thailand. Do you mean, really rich? 844 01:12:41,200 --> 01:12:44,352 - I'd leave for Thailand. - I'd buy a new car. 845 01:12:44,520 --> 01:12:47,558 A trip around the world with my honey. 846 01:12:47,720 --> 01:12:51,873 With the rest of the money, I'd invest in real estate. 847 01:12:54,760 --> 01:12:57,753 Then, I'd buy a new house. 848 01:12:57,920 --> 01:13:01,880 I'd become the biggest film producer of... lesbian movies. 849 01:13:04,920 --> 01:13:07,355 And maybe I'd get a new girl friend. 850 01:13:07,520 --> 01:13:09,955 If I were famous, 851 01:13:10,240 --> 01:13:13,870 I'd watch out for the paparazzi. Right now, I'm cool. 852 01:13:14,200 --> 01:13:17,079 I'd have a lot of Thai girls around me... 853 01:13:17,240 --> 01:13:20,153 Half naked, they would rub my body. 854 01:13:20,320 --> 01:13:23,279 They would massage me... you know what I mean? 855 01:13:23,440 --> 01:13:25,796 Why half-naked? 856 01:13:25,960 --> 01:13:29,749 You have to be subtle... I like it... 857 01:13:31,320 --> 01:13:34,199 Gently, like that... 858 01:13:38,240 --> 01:13:39,435 The End. 859 01:16:37,280 --> 01:16:40,398 This crappy ending sequence reminds me of something... 860 01:16:40,560 --> 01:16:42,756 Something is bothering me... 861 01:16:45,680 --> 01:16:46,716 Right... 64670

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