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1
00:00:04,091 --> 00:00:05,527
You know, a lot of people
complain about March--
2
00:00:05,570 --> 00:00:08,051
mud season, taxes coming
up-- but I love it.
3
00:00:08,095 --> 00:00:11,359
St. Patrick's Day goes
straight into March Madness.
4
00:00:11,402 --> 00:00:13,317
That goes straight
into baseball. Boom!
5
00:00:13,361 --> 00:00:15,450
Another beautiful spin
around the sun.
6
00:00:15,493 --> 00:00:17,017
[chuckles]
7
00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:18,540
I don't know why you're
in such a good mood, Grampy.
8
00:00:18,583 --> 00:00:20,150
Your bracket was busted
in the second round.
9
00:00:20,194 --> 00:00:22,196
Well, change of strategy.
10
00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:23,458
If I come in last,
11
00:00:23,501 --> 00:00:25,851
I get my money back and a hat.
12
00:00:25,895 --> 00:00:27,505
The hat says "Loser."
13
00:00:27,549 --> 00:00:29,203
Hat's a hat.
14
00:00:30,595 --> 00:00:32,684
Hazel, can I have
some of your nachos?
15
00:00:32,728 --> 00:00:34,904
I don't want to be a jerk,
but I feel like the time to ask
16
00:00:34,947 --> 00:00:36,775
for nachos was when
the waitress was here.
17
00:00:39,256 --> 00:00:41,084
RILEY:
Hey, Al.
18
00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:42,912
Hmm?Ariana just walked in.
19
00:00:42,955 --> 00:00:43,913
Really?
20
00:00:43,956 --> 00:00:45,480
How do I look?
21
00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:46,611
Stunning.
22
00:00:46,655 --> 00:00:48,048
Don't waste it on us.
23
00:00:49,223 --> 00:00:50,398
Mm.Oh, no,
24
00:00:50,441 --> 00:00:52,182
is that Dirk?
25
00:00:52,226 --> 00:00:53,531
Who's Dirk?
26
00:00:53,575 --> 00:00:55,359
Her spin instructor.
27
00:00:55,403 --> 00:00:59,407
And possibly the number one
seed in her boyfriend bracket.
28
00:01:00,799 --> 00:01:02,018
I hate that guy.
29
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:04,412
It's March.
Wear some sleeves.
30
00:01:07,850 --> 00:01:09,417
I'm sorry, buddy.
31
00:01:09,460 --> 00:01:10,722
I can't believe
he chose her.
32
00:01:10,766 --> 00:01:12,420
What does he have
that I don't?
33
00:01:12,463 --> 00:01:14,944
You wanted to be exclusive
and she didn't.
34
00:01:14,987 --> 00:01:16,598
Maybe he's just rolling with it.
35
00:01:16,641 --> 00:01:19,514
That's true. She could
be dating a lot of Dirks.
36
00:01:20,515 --> 00:01:22,560
Okay, you got
two options:
37
00:01:22,604 --> 00:01:24,606
you sit here hiding
behind your menu
38
00:01:24,649 --> 00:01:26,825
or you go over there
and make your stand.
39
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,393
I choose number two.Mm.
40
00:01:31,569 --> 00:01:33,963
I choose number one.
41
00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:37,053
♪
42
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,402
♪ Oh!
43
00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:50,458
[exhales]
You know, Holly,
44
00:01:50,501 --> 00:01:54,070
my cousin Zubair always says
that if you want to get a woman,
45
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,246
never tell her
what's in your heart--
46
00:01:56,290 --> 00:01:58,857
tell her what
she wants to hear.
47
00:01:59,815 --> 00:02:01,164
What's with him?
48
00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:03,384
A girl he likes is dating
her spin instructor.
49
00:02:06,952 --> 00:02:08,171
Another Mr. Pibb.
50
00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:09,651
No ice.
51
00:02:09,694 --> 00:02:11,957
You're driving, right?
52
00:02:12,001 --> 00:02:13,481
It's been a rough day.
53
00:02:13,524 --> 00:02:15,918
He's written six poems,
and not one of 'em rhymes.
54
00:02:15,961 --> 00:02:17,920
Oh, there's rhymes.
55
00:02:17,963 --> 00:02:19,530
"His name is Dirk.
56
00:02:19,574 --> 00:02:21,184
"He spins for work.
57
00:02:21,228 --> 00:02:22,968
"He wears no sleeves.
58
00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:24,927
He is a jerk."
59
00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:27,582
Cindy!
60
00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:29,192
Come meet
my friend Al!
61
00:02:29,236 --> 00:02:31,977
Why?Just come here.
62
00:02:32,891 --> 00:02:35,024
Cindy, Al.
63
00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:37,026
Al, Cindy.
64
00:02:37,069 --> 00:02:39,333
Both of you guys
are nursing broken hearts.
65
00:02:39,376 --> 00:02:40,856
That one's my boyfriend.
66
00:02:40,899 --> 00:02:42,510
Don't talk to him.
67
00:02:44,033 --> 00:02:47,297
Oh. I am sorry
for your heartbreak.
68
00:02:47,341 --> 00:02:48,820
Thank you.
69
00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:50,648
Want to go play pool?
70
00:02:50,692 --> 00:02:52,737
[quietly]: Okay. You got this.
71
00:02:55,436 --> 00:02:57,133
So who broke
your heart?
72
00:02:58,090 --> 00:02:59,918
Her name is Ariana,
73
00:02:59,962 --> 00:03:02,747
and she is the most beautiful
woman in the world.
74
00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:04,053
No. Second most.
75
00:03:04,096 --> 00:03:05,446
The first one
is my mother.
76
00:03:05,489 --> 00:03:06,664
Your mom's hot, huh?
77
00:03:06,708 --> 00:03:08,188
What?To hot moms.
78
00:03:09,232 --> 00:03:10,277
What are you drinking?
79
00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:11,365
Mr. Pibb.
80
00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:12,844
Oh, cool. I'm having Mr. Rum.
81
00:03:12,888 --> 00:03:14,237
[both chuckle softly]
82
00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:15,891
So, uh...
83
00:03:15,934 --> 00:03:17,849
what happened
with your boyfriend?
84
00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:19,895
I don't know.
85
00:03:19,938 --> 00:03:24,073
Things with Keith were magical
from the very first date.
86
00:03:24,116 --> 00:03:26,467
Hmm.We went canoeing
at sunset and...
87
00:03:26,510 --> 00:03:28,904
well, it was so beautiful.
88
00:03:28,947 --> 00:03:32,299
Then it got dark and we couldn't
find our way back, so we...
89
00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:33,996
we screamed our
lungs out all night
90
00:03:34,039 --> 00:03:36,085
until a helicopter rescued us.
91
00:03:36,128 --> 00:03:37,826
[sighs]
92
00:03:37,869 --> 00:03:40,524
Just like that helicopter
found you,
93
00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:43,092
love will find you again.
94
00:03:43,135 --> 00:03:44,354
Wow, you're poetic.
95
00:03:44,398 --> 00:03:46,748
You have no idea.
96
00:03:46,791 --> 00:03:47,879
You want to make out?
97
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:49,925
Excuse me?
98
00:03:54,364 --> 00:03:56,279
[quietly]:
What?
99
00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:01,676
[whistle blows over TV]
100
00:04:01,719 --> 00:04:04,156
What are you doing?
Shoot the damn ball!
101
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:07,116
March Madness ages you
like a president.
102
00:04:09,074 --> 00:04:10,206
You still drawing me?
103
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,773
Yeah. First round...
104
00:04:12,730 --> 00:04:14,428
...optimistic.
105
00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:16,299
Second round,
106
00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:18,649
things are getting wobbly.
107
00:04:18,693 --> 00:04:20,608
Sweet 16,
108
00:04:20,651 --> 00:04:22,000
ugh.
109
00:04:22,523 --> 00:04:24,960
And not to get ahead of myself,
but...
110
00:04:29,312 --> 00:04:31,793
I never should've paid
for your art classes.
111
00:04:31,836 --> 00:04:33,577
[cheering on TV]
112
00:04:33,621 --> 00:04:36,537
Whoo! Wait till you hear this.
Yo, turn that off.
113
00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:37,842
It's the Final Four!
114
00:04:37,886 --> 00:04:39,017
Al made out with a girl.
115
00:04:39,061 --> 00:04:40,105
What?
116
00:04:41,106 --> 00:04:43,631
So, Holly and I are shooting
pool when I look over
117
00:04:43,674 --> 00:04:47,374
and this player is making out
with a girl he just met.
118
00:04:47,417 --> 00:04:49,071
Uncle Al, back on the board!
119
00:04:49,114 --> 00:04:50,464
Oh, it was crazy!
120
00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:51,552
Like someone else
took over my face.
121
00:04:51,595 --> 00:04:52,814
This someone's name is Cindy.
122
00:04:52,857 --> 00:04:54,337
I-I didn't know what to do.
123
00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:56,557
But then I thought maybe
Ariana was kissing Dirk
124
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:57,732
at the same time...Mm-hmm.
125
00:04:57,775 --> 00:04:59,081
...so I could do it, too.
126
00:04:59,124 --> 00:05:00,430
What do we know about Cindy?
127
00:05:00,474 --> 00:05:02,954
Friend of Holly's.Sounds legit.
128
00:05:02,998 --> 00:05:06,523
I have this sweet feeling
from my head to my toes.
129
00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:07,611
How did you leave it?
130
00:05:07,655 --> 00:05:08,612
Intoxicated--
131
00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:09,613
her on Mr. Rum,
132
00:05:09,657 --> 00:05:11,354
me on her kiss.
133
00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:14,879
I need to go call
my cousin Zubair. No, FaceTime.
134
00:05:14,923 --> 00:05:17,752
I want to see the tears
of jealousy on his cheeks.
135
00:05:18,666 --> 00:05:20,407
Really? In front of everybody?
136
00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:22,670
Yep.Can't believe
I'm gonna ask this,
137
00:05:22,713 --> 00:05:24,019
but, um...
138
00:05:24,062 --> 00:05:25,150
is he a virgin?
139
00:05:25,194 --> 00:05:26,151
Oh, yeah.
140
00:05:26,195 --> 00:05:28,937
Oh, no...
141
00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:34,203
[chuckles]
142
00:05:34,246 --> 00:05:36,118
What a wonderful day.[Riley chuckles]
143
00:05:36,161 --> 00:05:37,728
That wasn't
your first kiss, though?
144
00:05:37,772 --> 00:05:39,600
No, no, no.
Of course not.
145
00:05:39,643 --> 00:05:41,341
Back home,
I would steal a quick kiss
146
00:05:41,384 --> 00:05:43,647
and then run away
like a trickster.[chuckles]
147
00:05:43,691 --> 00:05:45,736
Well, this one was not quick.
148
00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:47,259
I played an entire game
of eight-ball
149
00:05:47,303 --> 00:05:49,349
while you guys were making out.
150
00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:52,700
Have you ever met someone
so wild and unpredictable?
151
00:05:52,743 --> 00:05:54,832
Yep.How'd it turn out?
152
00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:57,400
With a beautiful baby
named Hazel.
153
00:05:58,401 --> 00:06:00,142
Is there always
so much tongue involved?
154
00:06:00,185 --> 00:06:01,926
Eh, if you're lucky.
155
00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:04,015
So, Riley, tell me-- what
makes a person a good kisser?
156
00:06:04,059 --> 00:06:06,801
There seemed to be no rhyme or
reason to what we were doing.
157
00:06:06,844 --> 00:06:09,020
Oh, man. I mean,
at the end of the day,
158
00:06:09,064 --> 00:06:10,674
you're never really gonna know,
159
00:06:10,718 --> 00:06:13,677
so just assume that you're great
at it and keep going.
160
00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:15,810
Also works for karaoke.
161
00:06:15,853 --> 00:06:18,682
And how do you hold your breath
that long?
162
00:06:21,076 --> 00:06:22,991
You held your breath?
163
00:06:24,035 --> 00:06:25,559
There was
one particularly long kiss
164
00:06:25,602 --> 00:06:26,560
where I felt I was fainting.
165
00:06:26,603 --> 00:06:27,996
So I said, "Excuse me,"
166
00:06:28,039 --> 00:06:30,390
took a deep breath
and went back to it.
167
00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:32,435
Maybe you should practice.
168
00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:33,871
Uh...
169
00:06:35,873 --> 00:06:37,397
Yeah. Sit.Mm.
170
00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:39,660
[inhales sharply, exhales]
171
00:06:39,703 --> 00:06:42,140
You look beautiful
tonight.Hmm.
172
00:06:42,184 --> 00:06:43,968
Yeah, you do.
173
00:06:44,012 --> 00:06:45,448
Stop it.
174
00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:46,928
You do.
175
00:06:50,888 --> 00:06:52,847
Huh.
176
00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:57,808
Oh, you're really good.
177
00:06:59,723 --> 00:07:02,465
Uh, give it a try.
[grunts][exhales]
178
00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:05,468
There is one thing
in life that is true.
179
00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:09,298
My lips and my mouth
belong to you.
180
00:07:09,341 --> 00:07:11,431
[exhales]
Come on.
181
00:07:13,128 --> 00:07:14,521
Hmm?
182
00:07:19,526 --> 00:07:21,179
[moans softly]
183
00:07:22,267 --> 00:07:24,095
Take a breath. Ah.[inhales deeply]
184
00:07:24,139 --> 00:07:25,183
That's it.
185
00:07:26,141 --> 00:07:27,621
Better.
186
00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:33,104
I can't decide between the
bruschetta and the calamari.
187
00:07:33,148 --> 00:07:35,019
Want to get both
and we'll split?
188
00:07:35,063 --> 00:07:36,020
Sure.
189
00:07:36,064 --> 00:07:38,109
[soft piano music playing]
190
00:07:40,242 --> 00:07:41,939
RILEY:
You guys gonna order
191
00:07:41,983 --> 00:07:44,376
or just eat
each other's faces all night?
192
00:07:44,420 --> 00:07:46,378
We'll get what you're getting.
193
00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:47,858
No garlic.
194
00:07:49,556 --> 00:07:51,383
So, what'd you do today?
195
00:07:52,384 --> 00:07:54,865
Bought some stamps,
took my car into the shop,
196
00:07:54,909 --> 00:07:56,780
got new brake pads and...
197
00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:59,261
I'm sorry. I can't do
this with them. Hey!
198
00:08:00,392 --> 00:08:02,351
High school'sover.Oh.
199
00:08:02,394 --> 00:08:04,048
Sorry.
[chuckles]Sorry.
200
00:08:05,093 --> 00:08:07,791
[quietly]: I can kiss
and breathe at the same time.
201
00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:10,011
Hey, where are
our drinks?
202
00:08:10,054 --> 00:08:11,273
I don't know.
203
00:08:11,316 --> 00:08:13,710
Maybe the waiter hates us
for some reason.
204
00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:15,451
Oh. Hey, Al.
205
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,844
You dare me to drink
that guy's scotch
206
00:08:16,887 --> 00:08:17,845
while he's in
the bathroom?
207
00:08:17,888 --> 00:08:18,846
No.
208
00:08:18,889 --> 00:08:20,587
Challenge accepted.
209
00:08:20,630 --> 00:08:22,676
[laughing]
210
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:26,201
She wouldn't.
211
00:08:26,244 --> 00:08:28,290
Oh, she would.
212
00:08:29,247 --> 00:08:31,511
I was wrong. It was bourbon.
213
00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:35,123
[Cindy chuckles]
214
00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:36,428
Open your mouth.Mmm.
215
00:08:36,472 --> 00:08:37,778
[laughs][chuckles]
216
00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:41,651
So, new brake pads, huh?
217
00:08:44,915 --> 00:08:47,091
So, what do you miss most
about Afghanistan?
218
00:08:47,135 --> 00:08:48,397
Oh, everything.
219
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,530
My mother, my
friends, the food.
220
00:08:50,573 --> 00:08:52,314
Ooh, what kind of food?
221
00:08:52,357 --> 00:08:54,577
There is a small kabobi
shop in my neighborhood.
222
00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:56,840
People wait for hours in line
to get in.
223
00:08:56,884 --> 00:08:58,494
And the lamb is so good,
224
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,975
when you put a bite
in your mouth, it melts.
225
00:09:01,018 --> 00:09:04,021
Ooh. Do you think you could
make that for me one night?
226
00:09:04,065 --> 00:09:05,980
I could try,
but it would never be as good.
227
00:09:06,023 --> 00:09:07,590
Oh, you're just being modest.
228
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:10,158
I am modest. It is
a very good thing about me.
229
00:09:10,201 --> 00:09:11,202
[chuckles]
230
00:09:11,246 --> 00:09:12,421
[gasps]
Ooh.
231
00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:14,771
You want to go swimming?What?
232
00:09:14,815 --> 00:09:17,731
That hotel has
a pool on the roof.
233
00:09:17,774 --> 00:09:19,254
Oh, you've stayed there?No.
234
00:09:19,297 --> 00:09:20,690
You just say you're
on the third floor
235
00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:22,300
and you left your key
in the room.
236
00:09:22,344 --> 00:09:24,172
And if they ask you any
questions, you start swinging.
237
00:09:24,215 --> 00:09:25,782
[chuckles]
238
00:09:25,826 --> 00:09:28,263
Uh, that sounds like
it might be against the law.
239
00:09:28,306 --> 00:09:29,830
Well, that's why it's fun.
240
00:09:30,831 --> 00:09:33,398
Uh, I'm not a citizen yet.
241
00:09:33,442 --> 00:09:35,749
If I get into any trouble, they
can kick me out of this country.
242
00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:37,838
Oh, okay.You know.
243
00:09:37,881 --> 00:09:41,102
Well, you want to just go
to my place and have sex?
244
00:09:42,669 --> 00:09:44,192
Oh, um...
245
00:09:45,193 --> 00:09:47,021
[exhales]Oh, oh,
you don't like me.
246
00:09:47,064 --> 00:09:49,763
No, I... I like
you very much.
247
00:09:49,806 --> 00:09:51,286
You don't think I'm pretty?
248
00:09:51,329 --> 00:09:53,114
You are so pretty.
249
00:09:53,157 --> 00:09:54,724
Is it 'cause you're
still hung up on that girl?
250
00:09:54,768 --> 00:09:56,117
'Cause I don't mind.
251
00:09:58,162 --> 00:09:59,120
It's late.
252
00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:00,774
Oh, all right.
253
00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:02,558
[clears throat]
254
00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:09,304
I have never been with a woman.
255
00:10:09,347 --> 00:10:12,350
Oh, I have.
You should try it, it's great.
256
00:10:13,917 --> 00:10:15,571
I just don'’t think I'm...
257
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,878
No, I-it's cool.
258
00:10:19,967 --> 00:10:22,056
So, um...
259
00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:23,927
So you're a virgin.
260
00:10:23,971 --> 00:10:25,755
Yes.
261
00:10:25,799 --> 00:10:28,671
Well, I wouldn't have
expected it.
262
00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:32,544
I mean, you're funny and hot
and a great kisser.
263
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:41,641
All right,
you talked me into it.
264
00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:42,816
The sex?
The swimming.
265
00:10:51,912 --> 00:10:53,391
What are you guys doing up?
266
00:10:53,435 --> 00:10:54,828
Waiting for Al.
267
00:10:54,871 --> 00:10:56,220
He was just supposed
to take Cindy home,
268
00:10:56,264 --> 00:10:57,874
but that was three hours ago.
269
00:10:57,918 --> 00:11:01,922
Well, for me, the second date
is usually when...
270
00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:03,924
nothing happens.
271
00:11:03,967 --> 00:11:07,928
Thank you for sparing my
delicate sensibilities.
272
00:11:07,971 --> 00:11:10,104
[car door opens, shuts]
273
00:11:10,147 --> 00:11:12,193
Finally.
274
00:11:12,236 --> 00:11:13,716
Hi, Al.
275
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,413
Hi!
276
00:11:16,501 --> 00:11:18,286
Why are you soaking wet?
277
00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:19,722
We snuck into a hotel
278
00:11:19,766 --> 00:11:21,332
and she pushed me
into the swimming pool.
279
00:11:21,376 --> 00:11:22,464
We don't swim much
in Afghanistan,
280
00:11:22,507 --> 00:11:24,205
so I began to drown.
281
00:11:24,248 --> 00:11:26,555
I saw death opening
its mouth for me,
282
00:11:26,598 --> 00:11:28,688
but then she scooped in
like David Hasselhoff,
283
00:11:28,731 --> 00:11:29,863
and we kissed.
284
00:11:29,906 --> 00:11:32,213
It was very romantic.
285
00:11:32,256 --> 00:11:34,302
I made this for myself,
but you earned it.
286
00:11:34,345 --> 00:11:35,303
Ah.
287
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:36,957
Uh, then what happened?
288
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,915
A security guard came over
and Cindy yelled at him
289
00:11:38,959 --> 00:11:40,090
until we got a free dessert.
290
00:11:40,134 --> 00:11:41,701
Oh, excuse me.
291
00:11:41,744 --> 00:11:43,877
My skin is starting to burn
from the chlorine.
292
00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:47,489
So, what do you think?
Did he do it?
293
00:11:47,532 --> 00:11:49,056
No, he's still the same height.
294
00:11:49,099 --> 00:11:50,753
The first time you do it
you grow two inches.
295
00:11:50,797 --> 00:11:52,581
That's not true.
296
00:11:52,624 --> 00:11:54,409
Should be.
297
00:11:57,194 --> 00:11:58,805
Hey.
Close the door.
Close the door.
298
00:11:58,848 --> 00:12:00,981
Yeah.
299
00:12:01,024 --> 00:12:02,765
You won't believe
what happened.
300
00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:06,682
She wanted to have sex with me.
301
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,510
And did you?
302
00:12:08,553 --> 00:12:11,687
No. But I'm thinking
about it.
303
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,167
Really?
304
00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:15,125
You sure that's a good idea?
305
00:12:15,169 --> 00:12:16,518
I don't know.
306
00:12:16,561 --> 00:12:18,302
All my life I've been
the good son.
307
00:12:18,346 --> 00:12:20,217
I've always followed rules.
And here comes Cindy,
308
00:12:20,261 --> 00:12:23,612
who breaks all the rules,
and I'm rethinking everything.
309
00:12:23,655 --> 00:12:28,486
Yeah, she might be
a little... off.
310
00:12:28,530 --> 00:12:30,706
It's not just her.
311
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:33,753
Ariana is out there doing
whatever she wants.
312
00:12:33,796 --> 00:12:36,712
And so are you and Lizzie.
Everyone but me.
313
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:39,410
I get that, but...
314
00:12:39,454 --> 00:12:41,804
maybe your first
should be special.
315
00:12:41,848 --> 00:12:44,285
Oh, yeah?
How special was yours?
316
00:12:44,328 --> 00:12:46,678
Plenty.
It was on a school trip
317
00:12:46,722 --> 00:12:49,029
to Colonial Williamsburg.
318
00:12:49,072 --> 00:12:51,205
A guy dressed like
Benjamin Franklin caught us
319
00:12:51,248 --> 00:12:55,296
and hit me with a kite.
320
00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:58,168
That's a treasured memory.
321
00:12:58,212 --> 00:13:00,867
I feel like you're trying
to talk me out of this.
322
00:13:00,910 --> 00:13:02,999
I just want you to understand
323
00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:07,351
that sex is more
than just physical.
324
00:13:07,395 --> 00:13:11,878
When two people are together...
325
00:13:11,921 --> 00:13:13,749
it can be beautiful.
326
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:17,231
But it can also
bring up a lot of...
327
00:13:17,274 --> 00:13:20,451
unexpected feelings.
328
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:22,845
Are you listening to yourself?
329
00:13:22,889 --> 00:13:25,413
I'm trying not to.
330
00:13:25,456 --> 00:13:29,199
Listen, uh... I tried
to find that special person
331
00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:30,897
to fall in love with, and
when I finally found her,
332
00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:32,681
she rejected me.
333
00:13:32,724 --> 00:13:34,552
Riley, I've lived
almost half my life.
334
00:13:34,596 --> 00:13:35,989
How long should I wait?
335
00:13:36,032 --> 00:13:37,555
I just want to make sure
you're not compromising
336
00:13:37,599 --> 00:13:39,819
stuff that matters
because you're hurting.
337
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,691
I'm not.
338
00:13:42,734 --> 00:13:44,649
But thank you.
339
00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:46,782
Okay.
340
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:49,437
Now let's talk
about protection.
341
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:50,568
[groans]
342
00:14:00,230 --> 00:14:02,276
Mm. You have a lovely room.
343
00:14:02,319 --> 00:14:05,845
Oh. Well, it's your first time.
I wanted it to be nice.
344
00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:11,589
Hey, do you mind if we talk
a little bit first?
345
00:14:11,633 --> 00:14:13,635
Sure.
346
00:14:13,678 --> 00:14:15,289
Tell me more about yourself.
347
00:14:15,332 --> 00:14:17,987
Oh, um, well,
348
00:14:18,031 --> 00:14:20,250
I'm a marine biologist.
Ah.
349
00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:22,296
I work at the aquarium.
350
00:14:22,339 --> 00:14:25,603
I bought a lot of candles today.
I think you're all caught up.
351
00:14:25,647 --> 00:14:26,909
[laughs]
352
00:14:26,953 --> 00:14:29,694
Look at that.
You're a marine biologist,
353
00:14:29,738 --> 00:14:32,219
I'm a Marine interpreter.
354
00:14:32,262 --> 00:14:34,438
Meant to be.
[laughs]
355
00:14:38,573 --> 00:14:41,750
So, where are you from?
356
00:14:41,793 --> 00:14:43,578
Seattle.
357
00:14:43,621 --> 00:14:45,623
Do you go home much?
358
00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:46,973
Not if I can help it.
359
00:14:47,016 --> 00:14:48,757
My mom and I don't
really get along.
360
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,846
Why?
361
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,500
'Cause she's a bitch.
362
00:14:52,543 --> 00:14:54,589
Uh...
363
00:14:54,632 --> 00:14:57,157
I can't understand how you can
say that about your mother.
364
00:14:57,200 --> 00:15:00,856
I can't understand why we're
talking about my mother.
365
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,293
Where I'm from,
366
00:15:03,337 --> 00:15:05,687
mothers are revered
like prophets.
367
00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:07,123
We have a saying.
368
00:15:07,167 --> 00:15:09,647
"Paradise lies beneath
beneath a mother's feet."
369
00:15:09,691 --> 00:15:13,956
Ooh, hey, talk dirty to me
in Afghan. [chuckles]
370
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,176
I-I don't talk dirty.
371
00:15:16,219 --> 00:15:20,310
Oh, you're a bad, bad boy.
[growls, laughs]
372
00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:22,965
What?
373
00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:25,489
Just trying to
get you started.
374
00:15:25,533 --> 00:15:27,752
[sighs]
375
00:15:29,058 --> 00:15:31,278
We really don't know
each other at all, do we?
376
00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:33,410
I work at the aquarium,
you can't swim.
377
00:15:33,454 --> 00:15:35,804
Opposites attract. It...
378
00:15:35,847 --> 00:15:38,981
Look, you are very beautiful.
379
00:15:39,025 --> 00:15:41,549
Oh, let me guess.
380
00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:43,725
You're gonna say we should
just be friends.
381
00:15:43,768 --> 00:15:47,772
I wasn't, but that's
a very good idea.
382
00:15:53,343 --> 00:15:54,954
I'm sorry.
383
00:15:58,522 --> 00:16:00,916
I think I want the person
I have sex with
384
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:04,050
to be someone I care about,
somebody I really know.
385
00:16:05,442 --> 00:16:08,228
And maybe that will be you.
386
00:16:08,271 --> 00:16:10,970
But it won't be tonight.
387
00:16:13,059 --> 00:16:15,583
You know what's weird?
388
00:16:15,626 --> 00:16:18,151
I believe you.
389
00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:21,067
I'm telling you the truth.
390
00:16:21,110 --> 00:16:23,330
I think that you are.
391
00:16:23,373 --> 00:16:26,986
I definitely am.
I just said so.
392
00:16:28,291 --> 00:16:32,556
Wow, this just makes me
like you more.
393
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:37,518
Well, your reaction makes me
like you more.
394
00:16:37,561 --> 00:16:39,085
You want to make out?
395
00:16:39,128 --> 00:16:40,912
Oh, now we're talking.[chuckles]
396
00:16:53,577 --> 00:16:55,710
Awalmir.
Hi.
397
00:16:55,753 --> 00:16:58,278
Uh, I'm not interrupting, am I?
398
00:16:58,321 --> 00:17:01,020
No.
Okay, good.
399
00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:02,325
What's up?
400
00:17:02,369 --> 00:17:04,197
I'm sorry I didn't call.
I was driving home
401
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:07,722
from a friend's house,
and thinking about you.
402
00:17:07,765 --> 00:17:09,115
Do I smell perfume?
403
00:17:09,158 --> 00:17:11,334
No.
404
00:17:11,378 --> 00:17:13,293
But there's something
I want to say.
405
00:17:13,336 --> 00:17:15,730
All right.
406
00:17:15,773 --> 00:17:18,080
I want to date you.
407
00:17:19,473 --> 00:17:20,996
I say that like
I've changed my mind.
408
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,824
I've always wanted
to date you.
409
00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:25,131
But now I'm willing
to do it your way.
410
00:17:25,174 --> 00:17:27,394
My way?
411
00:17:27,437 --> 00:17:29,613
You can see other people
if that's what you want.
412
00:17:29,657 --> 00:17:31,920
Dirk. Someone less foolish
than Dirk.
413
00:17:31,963 --> 00:17:33,400
It's really none
of my business.
414
00:17:33,443 --> 00:17:36,316
And why did you
change your mind?
415
00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:39,188
I've been thinking a lot
about rules I set for myself,
416
00:17:39,232 --> 00:17:42,148
or other people
set for me, and...
417
00:17:42,191 --> 00:17:45,412
maybe there's more
than one way to do things.
418
00:17:45,455 --> 00:17:48,937
Are you seeing other people?
419
00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:52,810
That opportunity has
presented itself.
420
00:17:55,204 --> 00:17:58,512
Okay, well...
421
00:17:58,555 --> 00:18:00,992
I would love to
go out with you.
422
00:18:01,036 --> 00:18:03,169
Good.
423
00:18:05,475 --> 00:18:06,824
Would you like to come in?
424
00:18:06,868 --> 00:18:09,349
Do you ask a thirsty man
if he wants water?
425
00:18:10,915 --> 00:18:12,526
Yes. That means yes.
426
00:18:22,579 --> 00:18:24,755
Good morning, Dugans.
427
00:18:24,799 --> 00:18:27,715
Somebody's in the same
clothes as last night.
428
00:18:27,758 --> 00:18:29,020
Hazel, go to your room.
429
00:18:29,064 --> 00:18:30,761
I did not spend the night
430
00:18:30,805 --> 00:18:32,676
at Cindy's.Never mind.
431
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:35,984
But I did spend the night
with Ariana.Out!
432
00:18:37,638 --> 00:18:39,509
Come on, Dad, I've been
on this roller coaster
433
00:18:39,553 --> 00:18:41,032
since the beginning.
434
00:18:42,512 --> 00:18:43,992
Ariana's? How'd that happen?
435
00:18:44,035 --> 00:18:48,649
I was going to have...
cakewith Cindy,
436
00:18:48,692 --> 00:18:50,955
but I realized I really wanted
to have cake with Ariana.
437
00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:52,696
You want to just tell me later?
438
00:18:52,740 --> 00:18:54,133
Sure.
439
00:18:58,398 --> 00:19:00,313
So?
440
00:19:00,356 --> 00:19:02,053
Did you and Ariana...No.
441
00:19:02,097 --> 00:19:03,359
We talked deep into the night
442
00:19:03,403 --> 00:19:05,187
and watched the sun rise
from her balcony.
443
00:19:05,231 --> 00:19:07,407
Come on, you know
that's not what I meant.Oh, I'm so sorry.
444
00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:10,540
We also drank so much tea
I may never sleep again.
445
00:19:11,454 --> 00:19:13,108
What about Cindy?
She out of the picture?
446
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,718
Not necessarily.
447
00:19:14,762 --> 00:19:16,329
From now on,
you will remember me
448
00:19:16,372 --> 00:19:20,246
as the man who dated two women
at the same time.
449
00:19:20,289 --> 00:19:22,465
Excuse me.
450
00:19:23,423 --> 00:19:24,728
Where you going?
451
00:19:24,772 --> 00:19:26,774
To tell Hazel.
452
00:19:26,817 --> 00:19:29,603
So you didn't actually...
453
00:19:29,646 --> 00:19:32,127
No.
454
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:35,565
It was as you said.
It was too soon.
455
00:19:35,609 --> 00:19:38,133
Okay.
456
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,440
But if my cousin Zubair asks,
457
00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:43,182
I did, with both of them,
on the same night.
458
00:19:44,618 --> 00:19:46,707
Al's got more girlfriends
than you.
459
00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:48,578
It really is March Madness.
29330
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