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1
00:01:19,130 --> 00:01:20,566
Come on!
2
00:01:48,126 --> 00:01:49,961
Let's split up!
3
00:01:52,631 --> 00:01:55,233
I still got it!
4
00:02:04,042 --> 00:02:06,978
Listen Irish,
you drink, you pay.
5
00:02:07,011 --> 00:02:08,913
I know what you're after.
6
00:02:09,047 --> 00:02:11,283
Me last night of freedom...
7
00:02:11,317 --> 00:02:15,321
And I'm not wearing
any underwear!
8
00:02:15,454 --> 00:02:16,489
What?!
9
00:02:16,522 --> 00:02:19,492
You scared of a woman
who knows what she wants?!
10
00:02:22,127 --> 00:02:23,596
Help me.
11
00:02:23,928 --> 00:02:26,097
- What?
- Help me...
12
00:02:26,131 --> 00:02:27,533
I need...
13
00:02:27,566 --> 00:02:29,668
Aw sorry,
I don't speak Romanian.
14
00:02:29,702 --> 00:02:32,170
- Help me.
- You shot a man?
15
00:02:32,271 --> 00:02:34,139
- I've no leus.
- Help me...
16
00:02:34,172 --> 00:02:38,344
- I need blood.
- Bleedin' junkie!
17
00:02:40,245 --> 00:02:41,414
The thrill of the chase.
18
00:02:41,447 --> 00:02:43,382
It gets the blood pumping.
19
00:02:47,486 --> 00:02:49,087
Garlic chip.
20
00:03:24,256 --> 00:03:26,459
Get out of my way,
you fuckin' creep, ya!
21
00:03:26,492 --> 00:03:29,395
- Have a good night pal!
- Ah, me bollocks!
22
00:04:59,852 --> 00:05:02,421
Matt!
23
00:05:02,454 --> 00:05:05,291
Breakfast!
24
00:05:05,391 --> 00:05:06,659
Matt!
25
00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:10,128
Where's the breakfast?
26
00:05:11,764 --> 00:05:13,732
Come on, I'm starving.
27
00:05:33,519 --> 00:05:35,721
And the winning numbers
from last night
28
00:05:35,754 --> 00:05:39,157
were 17, 35, 23,
29
00:05:39,190 --> 00:05:42,561
14, 6, and 31. That's 17...
30
00:05:42,595 --> 00:05:45,664
I don't believe it.
Not a single number.
31
00:05:45,698 --> 00:05:47,538
You've more chance
of getting hit by lightning.
32
00:05:47,566 --> 00:05:49,768
Enough of your negative vibes.
33
00:05:59,845 --> 00:06:02,581
- What're you looking at?
- I'm going to work.
34
00:06:06,619 --> 00:06:09,488
Look at him!
The bleedin' size of your head!
35
00:06:09,521 --> 00:06:11,624
Shut up you two fat-heads.
36
00:06:11,657 --> 00:06:14,125
Who'd you think
you're getting smart with?!
37
00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:16,261
Alright, fuck sake...
38
00:06:17,830 --> 00:06:19,765
Save your horn for your wife!
39
00:06:20,065 --> 00:06:21,400
What the fuck is wrong with ya,
40
00:06:21,433 --> 00:06:23,234
ya bleedin' moron ya!
41
00:06:38,216 --> 00:06:39,918
It's a sunny, bright,
42
00:06:39,952 --> 00:06:42,554
lovely day out there today
by the way...
43
00:06:44,690 --> 00:06:47,660
- Deco came by the store again.
- Agh! Me finger.
44
00:06:48,060 --> 00:06:50,462
Stay away from him,
d'ya hear me?
45
00:06:50,496 --> 00:06:52,264
I can't help it if he shows up.
46
00:06:52,931 --> 00:06:54,633
What're you doing back here?
47
00:06:54,667 --> 00:06:56,502
I'm just sayin'
hello to me brother!
48
00:06:57,336 --> 00:07:00,372
You're my best mate.
What are ya?
49
00:07:00,839 --> 00:07:03,342
- Your best mate.
- Best mate.
50
00:07:03,676 --> 00:07:06,912
Matt? Matt!
It's for your own good.
51
00:07:07,112 --> 00:07:09,682
Deco is a user,
just like your da.
52
00:07:09,715 --> 00:07:12,284
And don't be listening
to his shite.
53
00:07:15,721 --> 00:07:17,956
And if I see him anywhere
near here again,
54
00:07:17,990 --> 00:07:19,725
he's as good as dead.
55
00:07:20,859 --> 00:07:22,895
The stress he put me under!
56
00:07:23,062 --> 00:07:25,464
Like why'd you think
I can't give these up?!
57
00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:29,968
Here, ma, I'll put it out.
58
00:07:30,002 --> 00:07:32,371
- You go up and get ready.
- You're a good boy.
59
00:07:37,943 --> 00:07:40,479
- Sorry.
- What are you doing here, deco?
60
00:07:40,512 --> 00:07:42,681
- I need to go inside...
- You can't, ma's upstairs!
61
00:07:42,715 --> 00:07:44,817
Think you're a bleedin'
bouncer, are ya?!
62
00:07:44,850 --> 00:07:47,886
Skin's burnin' up,
it's like bleedin' ayia napa.
63
00:07:48,554 --> 00:07:50,422
Just put some factor 50 on.
64
00:07:50,622 --> 00:07:52,491
I'm after hurtin' myself, look.
65
00:07:53,592 --> 00:07:55,260
You came here
to show me a hickey?
66
00:07:55,394 --> 00:07:57,262
No! I was at a party
67
00:07:57,296 --> 00:07:59,398
and some bird
had a go on me neck.
68
00:07:59,698 --> 00:08:01,567
I've nowhere else to go either.
69
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,535
You know I don't, Matt.
70
00:08:05,504 --> 00:08:07,606
I don't know
what to do with meself.
71
00:08:07,639 --> 00:08:09,608
- You can't come in.
- For fuck's sake,
72
00:08:09,641 --> 00:08:11,643
will you just let us in
the poxy door!
73
00:08:11,677 --> 00:08:12,845
Why you getting angry for?
74
00:08:12,878 --> 00:08:14,613
You're not coming in, alright?
75
00:08:16,381 --> 00:08:18,784
You owe me,
or have you forgotten?
76
00:08:23,522 --> 00:08:26,024
Okay, just for a minute.
Stay quiet.
77
00:08:26,859 --> 00:08:29,294
Well are you
inviting me in or what?
78
00:08:30,395 --> 00:08:31,930
Yeah, come in.
79
00:08:32,264 --> 00:08:34,900
Ah, you're me best mate.
What are ya?
80
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,369
- Your best mate.
- Best mate.
81
00:08:43,976 --> 00:08:46,011
Jaysus there's a bleedin'
smell in here.
82
00:08:46,145 --> 00:08:48,447
That's just the garlic fries
from last night.
83
00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:50,816
- Get them away from me!
- Relax!
84
00:08:50,849 --> 00:08:53,318
Said you wanted to wash
yourself, there's the sink.
85
00:08:54,386 --> 00:08:55,621
Ah!
86
00:08:55,788 --> 00:08:57,356
Ah!
87
00:08:57,556 --> 00:08:58,857
What are you doing?!
88
00:08:58,891 --> 00:09:00,859
You don't believe me, do ya?
89
00:09:05,597 --> 00:09:06,932
Agh!
90
00:09:09,434 --> 00:09:10,836
Agh!
91
00:09:11,703 --> 00:09:14,840
Agh, it must be that bite
I'm after gettin'!
92
00:09:15,374 --> 00:09:17,643
So what exactly
happened last night?
93
00:09:17,676 --> 00:09:19,111
I was at a club with the lads,
94
00:09:19,144 --> 00:09:22,614
the place was bleedin'
buzzin' it was.
95
00:09:23,081 --> 00:09:25,851
That's a bleedin' banger
that is, what?
96
00:09:26,552 --> 00:09:28,987
How's it going bud, y'all right?
97
00:09:29,855 --> 00:09:30,989
Fuck off, so.
98
00:09:31,023 --> 00:09:33,358
So I went to the
Jacks after holding down
99
00:09:33,392 --> 00:09:34,860
the dance floor
for about an hour,
100
00:09:34,893 --> 00:09:37,396
then this young wan
appears out of nowhere.
101
00:09:37,429 --> 00:09:41,033
Now you are definitely my type!
102
00:09:41,366 --> 00:09:44,603
Ah look, here comes the bride!
103
00:09:47,506 --> 00:09:49,675
I think you're in
the wrong toilets, love.
104
00:09:49,942 --> 00:09:51,844
Oh, very easy now...
105
00:09:57,115 --> 00:09:58,884
There's someone in here!
106
00:10:00,919 --> 00:10:02,788
Nearly bled me dry!
107
00:10:02,988 --> 00:10:06,391
Next thing I remember,
I woke up on the green.
108
00:10:06,892 --> 00:10:08,994
- What about your girlfriend?
-
Okay Matt,
109
00:10:09,027 --> 00:10:10,696
I'm going to head off.
110
00:10:13,532 --> 00:10:15,167
- Have you got your lunch?
- Yeah.
111
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,903
Well go on, get a move on,
you don't want to be late.
112
00:10:17,936 --> 00:10:20,505
You'll end up like that good
for nothing brother of yours.
113
00:10:20,539 --> 00:10:22,608
Here, do you know
where the plasters are?
114
00:10:22,641 --> 00:10:23,885
They should be
in the top drawer there.
115
00:10:23,909 --> 00:10:26,478
They're not in the top drawer,
I left them over here somewhere.
116
00:10:26,511 --> 00:10:28,847
Took a lump out of that finger,
I'm tellin' ya that now.
117
00:10:28,881 --> 00:10:31,817
- What's that smell of smoke?
- It's probably your smokes.
118
00:10:31,850 --> 00:10:33,027
Sayin' there's a smell
of smoke off me,
119
00:10:33,051 --> 00:10:33,919
bleedin' cheek of ya.
120
00:10:33,952 --> 00:10:36,154
Right, I'm gonna go
to work now, okay?
121
00:10:36,188 --> 00:10:37,823
The penguin bars
are in the press,
122
00:10:37,856 --> 00:10:39,591
now help yourself, love.
123
00:10:40,926 --> 00:10:42,494
Shut up!
124
00:10:43,462 --> 00:10:45,797
I forgot. They're in the
bottom of the fridge.
125
00:10:45,831 --> 00:10:48,400
- Left them there last night.
- Okay, see ya, ma.
126
00:10:49,668 --> 00:10:50,836
Shut up!
127
00:10:54,239 --> 00:10:56,441
My hand's near gone on fire!
128
00:10:56,575 --> 00:10:58,510
How'd ya explain that?!
129
00:11:02,781 --> 00:11:04,950
Wait a second,
you've been bitten on the neck,
130
00:11:04,983 --> 00:11:06,551
you're allergic to sunlight...
131
00:11:06,585 --> 00:11:08,553
Agh! Fuck off!
132
00:11:10,689 --> 00:11:12,658
And you don't like
the garlic fries...
133
00:11:16,161 --> 00:11:17,562
You know what this sounds like?
134
00:11:17,596 --> 00:11:19,498
I'm not getting enough
vitamin d.
135
00:11:19,531 --> 00:11:21,066
- Yeah, I need to take...
- No, no, no,
136
00:11:21,099 --> 00:11:22,501
I think you're turning into...
137
00:11:25,771 --> 00:11:27,572
That's my only clean shirt!
138
00:11:27,606 --> 00:11:28,941
Oh, sorry buddy, I...
139
00:11:34,913 --> 00:11:36,682
Deco, what are ya like?
140
00:11:37,616 --> 00:11:39,217
Fuck off!
141
00:11:41,687 --> 00:11:43,188
Deco, put two and two together.
142
00:11:43,389 --> 00:11:46,558
- Eh, four.
- No, you're a vampire!
143
00:11:46,658 --> 00:11:47,793
A what?!
144
00:11:47,826 --> 00:11:49,194
A fuckin' vampire!
145
00:11:49,227 --> 00:11:51,029
What are you insinuating?!
146
00:11:53,932 --> 00:11:55,734
Look at yourself in the mirror!
147
00:11:58,170 --> 00:11:59,638
D'ya see what I mean?!
148
00:12:01,673 --> 00:12:03,608
No, that mirror's broke!
149
00:12:03,642 --> 00:12:05,777
There's nothing wrong
with that mirror!
150
00:12:07,946 --> 00:12:09,614
Oh, bollocks!
151
00:12:10,182 --> 00:12:11,883
You can't stay here now.
152
00:12:11,917 --> 00:12:13,185
Put your hood up and get out.
153
00:12:13,218 --> 00:12:15,254
Ah Jesus, where'll I go?!
154
00:12:15,288 --> 00:12:17,155
Go up the country or somethin'!
155
00:12:17,189 --> 00:12:18,757
What, and stay
with the culchies?!
156
00:12:18,790 --> 00:12:20,759
I'd rather be fuckin' dead!
157
00:12:20,792 --> 00:12:22,794
Deco you are dead!
158
00:12:23,195 --> 00:12:26,765
- I'm your own flesh and blood.
- And it's all over me!
159
00:12:27,232 --> 00:12:29,568
We go upstairs
and play desert strike?
160
00:12:29,601 --> 00:12:32,170
I don't even have that game,
you took that game off me!
161
00:12:32,271 --> 00:12:34,773
- Fuckin' Rob ya that game!
- No, no.
162
00:12:35,607 --> 00:12:37,109
No, get out, deco.
163
00:12:37,343 --> 00:12:39,111
What do you want me to do?
164
00:12:39,144 --> 00:12:40,979
Kiss your bleedin' feet?!
165
00:12:41,347 --> 00:12:43,615
I'm beggin' ya man, please!
166
00:12:44,149 --> 00:12:46,252
I'll burst into dust out there.
167
00:12:46,419 --> 00:12:48,854
I'm a vampire for fuck's sake.
168
00:12:54,059 --> 00:12:56,695
Alright, alright.
169
00:12:57,095 --> 00:12:58,264
I'll text in sick.
170
00:13:05,137 --> 00:13:07,539
Jaysus, what's gonna happen me?
171
00:13:41,940 --> 00:13:43,184
Henry,
I've just spotted another one
172
00:13:43,208 --> 00:13:45,243
of those bleedin' vampires.
173
00:13:47,779 --> 00:13:48,814
I'm on the way.
174
00:14:08,434 --> 00:14:10,035
It's fuckin' Natalie!
175
00:14:10,068 --> 00:14:13,105
If she finds out I'm a vampire,
I'll get dumped!
176
00:14:13,138 --> 00:14:14,782
Didn't think you
cared that much about her.
177
00:14:14,806 --> 00:14:16,842
No, she's my everything, she is.
178
00:14:16,875 --> 00:14:18,377
I'll have to lay low
for a while.
179
00:14:18,411 --> 00:14:21,947
Let it clear itself up,
like when I had herpes.
180
00:14:21,980 --> 00:14:23,982
She's put up with a lot of crap.
181
00:14:24,082 --> 00:14:25,984
- This could be the last straw.
- What?!
182
00:14:26,685 --> 00:14:27,919
Do you love her?
183
00:14:27,953 --> 00:14:29,955
Do I love her?!
184
00:14:30,423 --> 00:14:32,258
Love her, he says.
185
00:14:37,296 --> 00:14:41,267
You have fifteen
messages in your inbox.
186
00:14:44,069 --> 00:14:45,871
Deco,
where'd you end up last night?!
187
00:14:45,904 --> 00:14:47,806
I wore me nice knickers
and everything for ya,
188
00:14:47,839 --> 00:14:48,907
ya little fool.
189
00:14:48,940 --> 00:14:50,051
Here, will you call me back
when you get this,
190
00:14:50,075 --> 00:14:51,085
I wanna see if you're alright,
I wanna make sure
191
00:14:51,109 --> 00:14:53,678
you're not in a bleedin'
dumpster somewhere.
192
00:14:53,712 --> 00:14:56,315
You better call me back or
I'm gonna box the head off ya!
193
00:14:56,349 --> 00:14:58,293
I don't know what came over me,
obviously I'm just a little bit
194
00:14:58,317 --> 00:14:59,151
worried about ya.
195
00:14:59,184 --> 00:15:00,419
Right, I love ya,
196
00:15:00,453 --> 00:15:02,364
you're not going to get into
trouble, just, just ring me.
197
00:15:02,388 --> 00:15:04,022
If I find out
you're cheating on me,
198
00:15:04,055 --> 00:15:05,358
I'm gonna kill ya,
d'ya hear me?!
199
00:15:05,391 --> 00:15:08,059
Every member of my family
is gonna be after you!
200
00:15:08,093 --> 00:15:10,263
Go and fuck yourself!
201
00:15:10,829 --> 00:15:14,166
Call me back. Right, I love ya.
202
00:15:15,934 --> 00:15:18,803
Jaysus. I couldn't think
of anything worse
203
00:15:18,837 --> 00:15:20,306
than being a vampire.
204
00:15:20,339 --> 00:15:22,308
What's gonna happen
when word gets around
205
00:15:22,341 --> 00:15:24,943
and people start avoiding me
like the plague?
206
00:15:24,976 --> 00:15:27,145
Deco. People do that anyway.
207
00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:30,182
Look on the bright side,
you get to sleep in all day,
208
00:15:30,215 --> 00:15:31,983
you might be able
to claim a disability.
209
00:15:32,017 --> 00:15:33,352
If I can't go out
during the day,
210
00:15:33,386 --> 00:15:35,488
how am I gonna sign on,
ye thick?!
211
00:15:35,521 --> 00:15:36,455
What you want me to do?
212
00:15:36,489 --> 00:15:39,191
Go out and skip
with the bleedin' bunnies?!
213
00:15:50,469 --> 00:15:52,771
Does ma ever ask about me?
214
00:15:53,004 --> 00:15:55,807
Or does she just pretend
I don't even exist?
215
00:16:01,514 --> 00:16:02,981
I think she misses ya.
216
00:16:03,014 --> 00:16:05,418
Yeah, like the desert
misses the rain.
217
00:16:10,121 --> 00:16:12,258
- Super powers!
- What are you smokin'?!
218
00:16:12,291 --> 00:16:14,427
Vampires have super powers!
219
00:16:14,826 --> 00:16:17,062
Turn into a bat and fly around!
220
00:16:17,162 --> 00:16:18,763
Ah, I don't know.
221
00:16:18,964 --> 00:16:21,032
- Just try it, try it.
- Alright!
222
00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:23,001
Jaysus.
223
00:16:23,469 --> 00:16:24,836
Eh...
224
00:16:29,874 --> 00:16:31,977
- Jaysus!
- You are filthy.
225
00:16:32,010 --> 00:16:33,778
Sorry about that.
226
00:16:35,046 --> 00:16:36,748
I think you need
to see a doctor.
227
00:16:37,550 --> 00:16:40,018
Ah no,
I'm just eating loads of eggs.
228
00:16:40,051 --> 00:16:41,953
I'm on this protein plan
where I have...
229
00:16:41,987 --> 00:16:44,889
No, deco! For the vampire thing.
230
00:16:46,459 --> 00:16:49,160
Number one for all the hits.
231
00:16:49,262 --> 00:16:50,996
Something new
is coming to Dublin,
232
00:16:51,029 --> 00:16:53,532
get on down to the crypt club,
opening tonight,
233
00:16:53,566 --> 00:16:56,335
23 kilbride street,
with special drinks promotions
234
00:16:56,369 --> 00:17:00,005
before midnight. The crypt club,
where the party never stops.
235
00:17:10,115 --> 00:17:11,517
Agh!
236
00:17:16,355 --> 00:17:17,822
Sound.
237
00:17:33,104 --> 00:17:34,540
No way!
238
00:18:12,578 --> 00:18:16,247
D-Doc, doctor on call,
anytime, anywhere.
239
00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:37,135
- What're you doing, deco?!
- Any chance of a bit of blood?
240
00:18:37,168 --> 00:18:39,605
- Ah here, no.
- Just a tiny bit, come on.
241
00:18:42,073 --> 00:18:44,377
Come on, I'll only have a sip.
242
00:18:44,410 --> 00:18:46,679
- No, I'm trying to help you!
- Come to your brother.
243
00:18:46,712 --> 00:18:48,547
Get away from me!
244
00:18:48,581 --> 00:18:49,981
No, fuck off!
245
00:18:53,151 --> 00:18:55,053
Alright, alright,
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
246
00:18:55,086 --> 00:18:56,926
I'll call the doctor
and we'll figure this out.
247
00:18:57,188 --> 00:18:59,991
- Stay away from me neck!
- Jesus, you're a lifesaver.
248
00:19:00,892 --> 00:19:03,629
- Don't make me do it again.
- Alright, I'm sorry.
249
00:19:04,963 --> 00:19:07,299
I'll just go down
and wait downstairs.
250
00:19:07,333 --> 00:19:08,567
Yeah.
251
00:19:08,834 --> 00:19:10,945
You don't think I've a bit
of a lisp with these, do ya?
252
00:19:10,969 --> 00:19:12,137
Yeah, it's very noticeable.
253
00:19:12,170 --> 00:19:14,273
- Ah, fuck.
- Close the door!
254
00:19:20,245 --> 00:19:21,414
Hello?
255
00:19:23,081 --> 00:19:25,551
I need a doctor, asap.
256
00:19:44,035 --> 00:19:45,404
Where's the patient?
257
00:19:46,672 --> 00:19:48,641
This way, thanks for coming.
258
00:19:49,542 --> 00:19:51,042
Just in there.
259
00:19:52,745 --> 00:19:55,648
This is deco.
He was bitten on the neck.
260
00:19:55,915 --> 00:19:57,416
We think he's a vampire.
261
00:19:57,450 --> 00:19:59,217
Google it, did ya?
262
00:19:59,318 --> 00:20:01,520
Everyone's a bloody expert
these days.
263
00:20:05,724 --> 00:20:07,560
Don't eat him.
264
00:20:07,660 --> 00:20:08,561
Right.
265
00:20:08,594 --> 00:20:11,397
Right. A little privacy
if you don't mind.
266
00:20:11,764 --> 00:20:13,666
Doctor-patient confidentiality.
267
00:20:13,699 --> 00:20:15,267
Yeah, okay.
268
00:20:22,608 --> 00:20:23,609
Ow!
269
00:20:24,008 --> 00:20:25,544
Bloody door.
270
00:20:32,351 --> 00:20:35,521
Just ah, open your mouth
and say, 'ah.'
271
00:20:39,758 --> 00:20:40,992
ah.
272
00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:56,642
Hey spud, who'd you murder?
273
00:20:59,210 --> 00:21:01,313
Just pickin' me nose earlier.
274
00:21:01,347 --> 00:21:03,147
Gave meself a nosebleed.
275
00:21:03,482 --> 00:21:05,718
What would you...
What would you drink on average?
276
00:21:05,751 --> 00:21:08,654
Ah, just a pint or two at the
weekends, you know yourself.
277
00:21:08,687 --> 00:21:10,623
Ah well,
we'll let you away with that.
278
00:21:10,723 --> 00:21:13,425
- Are you on any medications?
- No.
279
00:21:13,726 --> 00:21:15,159
Just methadone...
280
00:21:15,628 --> 00:21:17,128
And nembutal,
281
00:21:17,161 --> 00:21:19,598
tuinal, valium, librium,
282
00:21:19,632 --> 00:21:21,600
and COD liver oil.
283
00:21:23,435 --> 00:21:25,538
Right, now, eh...
284
00:21:25,571 --> 00:21:29,275
Zip the top down and lie back,
we're gonna check your heart.
285
00:21:35,146 --> 00:21:36,582
Yeah.
286
00:21:36,882 --> 00:21:39,050
Relax, close your eyes.
287
00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:42,488
Now,
288
00:21:43,221 --> 00:21:46,157
keep your eyes closed,
I want you to
289
00:21:46,190 --> 00:21:48,594
take in a deep breath and hold.
290
00:21:50,128 --> 00:21:53,164
Deco isn't back here, is he?
He still owes me money.
291
00:21:53,197 --> 00:21:55,434
No, deco hasn't
been back in years.
292
00:21:55,701 --> 00:21:57,636
I can smell a lie.
293
00:21:59,471 --> 00:22:00,339
I'll keep watch.
294
00:22:00,372 --> 00:22:02,641
I might have left
my dark days behind,
295
00:22:02,675 --> 00:22:04,376
but if I find out deco's back,
296
00:22:04,410 --> 00:22:06,345
I'll be over there
to break up the party
297
00:22:06,378 --> 00:22:09,213
and stick his fucking
head in the oven.
298
00:22:10,349 --> 00:22:11,750
Have a good day.
299
00:22:32,170 --> 00:22:33,171
Agh!
300
00:22:37,576 --> 00:22:39,445
You nearly got me in the heart!
301
00:22:50,789 --> 00:22:53,157
Right, straighten ya.
302
00:22:55,260 --> 00:22:56,562
Come on ye bollocks!
303
00:22:56,729 --> 00:22:58,464
The bleedin' strength of ya!
304
00:23:06,705 --> 00:23:07,773
Deco, get off him!
305
00:23:23,355 --> 00:23:24,456
Deco!
306
00:23:37,903 --> 00:23:39,605
Oh, bollocks!
307
00:23:41,340 --> 00:23:43,275
Alright?
Can I get the spare key,
308
00:23:43,308 --> 00:23:46,278
- I'm after locking myself out.
- Yeah, come in. Moron.
309
00:24:01,894 --> 00:24:03,162
And this is Adrian Kennedy here
310
00:24:03,194 --> 00:24:07,466
and we're talking about people
who suck the life out of us.
311
00:24:07,499 --> 00:24:11,303
Just take, take, take and never
give anything back in return.
312
00:24:11,336 --> 00:24:12,404
Do you hear that rubbish?
313
00:24:12,438 --> 00:24:14,249
The real bloodsuckers
are the people in charge.
314
00:24:14,273 --> 00:24:16,909
- Frank, the key?
- The key is money.
315
00:24:16,942 --> 00:24:19,578
Now, between you and me
I might have a few nixers
316
00:24:19,611 --> 00:24:23,282
- on the side if you're...
- No, that key. Can I have it?
317
00:24:23,716 --> 00:24:25,317
Oh, the key, yeah.
318
00:24:25,984 --> 00:24:27,820
Now bring it straight back,
yeah?
319
00:24:29,021 --> 00:24:30,556
Little fucker.
320
00:24:36,395 --> 00:24:37,496
Come on out!
321
00:24:37,529 --> 00:24:38,731
Why?!
322
00:24:38,831 --> 00:24:40,399
So I can stake you.
323
00:24:40,699 --> 00:24:42,334
Fuck off!
324
00:24:43,368 --> 00:24:44,536
Hey!
325
00:24:45,003 --> 00:24:46,472
Stay out of it!
326
00:24:46,505 --> 00:24:47,906
I don't want to hurt you...
327
00:24:48,807 --> 00:24:50,342
Anymore.
328
00:24:59,852 --> 00:25:01,386
Nice one!
329
00:25:43,362 --> 00:25:44,630
Ragh!
330
00:25:45,097 --> 00:25:46,498
Oh.
331
00:25:49,535 --> 00:25:50,702
Agh!
332
00:25:52,137 --> 00:25:53,505
Agh!
333
00:26:12,991 --> 00:26:14,626
What'll we do with him?
334
00:26:47,826 --> 00:26:51,363
- Henry Montgomery.
- He's a fuckin' brit!
335
00:26:51,563 --> 00:26:54,600
I knew it!
That dodgy Irish accent.
336
00:26:54,633 --> 00:26:56,435
Why you trying
to kill me brother?
337
00:26:56,468 --> 00:26:58,036
And why'd you have
a photo of the woman
338
00:26:58,070 --> 00:26:59,905
who bit me in the neck?
339
00:27:01,039 --> 00:27:04,610
Speak or I'll put that nose
into the back of your head!
340
00:27:12,017 --> 00:27:13,819
- Aw, you...
- Sorry!
341
00:27:13,852 --> 00:27:16,922
- That's fuckin' payback, you.
- You heal.
342
00:27:16,955 --> 00:27:18,624
Why you trying to kill him?
343
00:27:18,657 --> 00:27:20,826
Because he's a vampire,
you eejit.
344
00:27:20,859 --> 00:27:24,396
And the woman who bit you
is my fiancée, Sheila.
345
00:27:25,530 --> 00:27:27,466
Yeah well, it's a free country,
346
00:27:27,499 --> 00:27:30,102
- she can do what she wants!
- She was a vampire.
347
00:27:30,202 --> 00:27:32,571
And you are cause
you got bitten by her!
348
00:27:32,604 --> 00:27:33,672
Hang on,
349
00:27:33,705 --> 00:27:35,483
I thought you said the woman
you were with last night
350
00:27:35,507 --> 00:27:36,909
was a young wan?
351
00:27:37,542 --> 00:27:40,178
- I said...
- Chasing grannies now, are we?
352
00:27:40,212 --> 00:27:41,713
You absolute dirt bag!
353
00:27:41,747 --> 00:27:43,548
I'll bleedin' brain
you in a minute.
354
00:27:43,582 --> 00:27:45,751
Alright cougar catcher,
relax horny.
355
00:27:45,784 --> 00:27:47,786
Watch your fuckin' mouth!
356
00:27:48,420 --> 00:27:51,056
Are you not a bit long in the
tooth to be getting hitched?
357
00:27:51,089 --> 00:27:53,058
I'd given up years ago.
358
00:27:53,326 --> 00:27:55,494
Then I met my Sheila.
359
00:27:56,028 --> 00:27:57,496
I mean,
we have our ups and downs,
360
00:27:57,529 --> 00:27:59,898
but we decided to get married.
361
00:28:00,933 --> 00:28:03,735
I had my stag do,
362
00:28:03,769 --> 00:28:06,772
we took an old
victorian rail line
363
00:28:06,805 --> 00:28:08,607
through snowdonia,
364
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:11,877
because I'm a member of the
Welsh highland rail society.
365
00:28:12,110 --> 00:28:15,247
And the Welsh highland heritage,
366
00:28:15,281 --> 00:28:18,717
as well as the
branch line society.
367
00:28:18,817 --> 00:28:21,753
I love it,
steam engines, it's great.
368
00:28:21,787 --> 00:28:23,622
Old, old world.
369
00:28:23,655 --> 00:28:26,458
Where was the hen party,
transylvania?
370
00:28:26,758 --> 00:28:29,227
It was, there was a deal
on flights to Bucharest.
371
00:28:30,562 --> 00:28:31,663
That's fair.
372
00:28:40,605 --> 00:28:42,207
When
Sheila came back to Dublin,
373
00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:44,242
the woman I loved was gone.
374
00:28:44,277 --> 00:28:46,078
There was nothing of her left.
375
00:28:47,746 --> 00:28:50,582
Except for the drinking
and the... infidelity.
376
00:28:55,921 --> 00:28:57,889
Then after that, she...
377
00:28:58,223 --> 00:29:00,192
She was out jumping
from Billy to Jack
378
00:29:00,225 --> 00:29:03,128
leaving a trail of vampires
around Dublin and I was...
379
00:29:03,161 --> 00:29:05,264
Having to pick up after her.
380
00:29:05,797 --> 00:29:08,533
It was my civic responsibility,
I felt.
381
00:29:08,567 --> 00:29:10,035
You sure you're not just a bit
382
00:29:10,068 --> 00:29:14,039
jealous that a bleedin' hunk
from Dublin took your missus?
383
00:29:14,940 --> 00:29:18,143
No, it's definitely
for the good of the city.
384
00:29:19,111 --> 00:29:23,582
I drive a taxi around Dublin
and I've seen all sorts.
385
00:29:24,216 --> 00:29:26,151
But this is something new.
386
00:29:31,890 --> 00:29:34,793
Sheila and those hens
are out there every night,
387
00:29:34,826 --> 00:29:37,162
the vampire population
is rising.
388
00:29:37,263 --> 00:29:38,597
Oh.
389
00:29:39,097 --> 00:29:42,034
Anyone in Dublin
could be their next victim.
390
00:29:42,067 --> 00:29:43,869
But not if I get there first.
391
00:29:47,239 --> 00:29:49,574
Can we get a move on,
speedy Gonzalez?!
392
00:29:49,608 --> 00:29:52,811
- We've a party to go to!
- Sorry, Liz!
393
00:30:14,300 --> 00:30:15,667
You, out!
394
00:30:17,869 --> 00:30:19,237
Fuckin' clown, you.
395
00:30:21,073 --> 00:30:23,909
The other taxi drivers
are my eyes and ears
396
00:30:23,942 --> 00:30:25,344
around the city.
397
00:30:25,378 --> 00:30:26,211
Okay, right,
398
00:30:26,244 --> 00:30:27,413
I'm gonna try glasnevin,
399
00:30:27,447 --> 00:30:29,948
might be a few of them bozos
hanging around the cemetery.
400
00:30:29,981 --> 00:30:31,650
Roger that, over and out.
401
00:30:31,883 --> 00:30:34,387
I had a tip off from
another driver about him.
402
00:30:34,420 --> 00:30:36,130
Henry, I've just spotted
another one of those
403
00:30:36,154 --> 00:30:37,689
bleedin' vampires.
404
00:30:37,789 --> 00:30:40,158
I was waiting for
an opportunity.
405
00:30:40,659 --> 00:30:43,061
And then I saw
a doctor arriving.
406
00:30:44,330 --> 00:30:45,864
- Hey!
- What...?!
407
00:30:52,271 --> 00:30:53,271
Sorry about that.
408
00:30:57,742 --> 00:31:00,245
Once he's bitten his first
victim, he will be hooked.
409
00:31:00,279 --> 00:31:01,713
It's just a matter of time,
410
00:31:01,746 --> 00:31:04,683
that's why you have to die pal,
simple as.
411
00:31:04,716 --> 00:31:07,286
No, no, I'm not
going to bite anyone, Matt.
412
00:31:07,553 --> 00:31:11,290
If I had a pound for every time
I've heard a vampire say that.
413
00:31:11,823 --> 00:31:14,293
He's trying to turn you,
that's it.
414
00:31:14,327 --> 00:31:15,694
Don't listen to him!
415
00:31:15,727 --> 00:31:18,029
He's talking out his old arse!
416
00:31:20,098 --> 00:31:21,900
You did try and bite me earlier.
417
00:31:21,933 --> 00:31:23,835
And he will again,
and again and again
418
00:31:23,869 --> 00:31:25,871
and again until he does.
419
00:31:26,138 --> 00:31:28,874
His blood lust will only grow.
420
00:31:29,107 --> 00:31:31,877
Henry shut up you,
or I'll beat the head off you!
421
00:31:31,910 --> 00:31:32,950
Oh, is that what you want?
422
00:31:32,978 --> 00:31:34,155
You want a taste
from the carotid,
423
00:31:34,179 --> 00:31:37,249
or, or, or,
would he prefer the vertebral?
424
00:31:37,283 --> 00:31:39,452
- Deco, get away from him!
- Yeah, deco!
425
00:31:39,485 --> 00:31:42,687
- You shut up as well!
- Ha, you're laughed at.
426
00:31:42,721 --> 00:31:44,357
- Such an eejit.
- Who's an eejit?
427
00:31:44,390 --> 00:31:45,458
- He is.
- Who is?
428
00:31:45,491 --> 00:31:46,825
- You are!
- I am?
429
00:31:46,858 --> 00:31:48,361
- You are.
- I am?
430
00:31:48,394 --> 00:31:49,295
He is?
431
00:31:49,328 --> 00:31:51,062
The problem is you.
432
00:31:51,696 --> 00:31:53,899
You're the one who let him in.
433
00:31:54,132 --> 00:31:56,768
You're the one indulging him.
434
00:31:57,102 --> 00:31:59,738
You're the one who can't say no.
435
00:32:00,105 --> 00:32:01,474
What are you getting from this?
436
00:32:01,507 --> 00:32:03,309
Does it make you
feel better to help him?
437
00:32:03,342 --> 00:32:05,177
What if he doesn't
drain someone,
438
00:32:05,210 --> 00:32:07,446
- he could turn back human again?
- No.
439
00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:09,948
They all bite someone
sooner or later,
440
00:32:09,981 --> 00:32:11,450
just stake him now.
441
00:32:11,484 --> 00:32:13,386
Look, I'll just go cold Turkey,
442
00:32:13,419 --> 00:32:16,087
I've done it before,
and I'll do it again.
443
00:32:16,121 --> 00:32:18,391
Look, I know this
is hard but it has to be done.
444
00:32:18,424 --> 00:32:19,925
If we don't nip this in the bud
445
00:32:19,958 --> 00:32:22,160
then the whole city
will be overrun
446
00:32:22,194 --> 00:32:24,397
with these blood-sucking sods!
447
00:32:34,172 --> 00:32:35,341
Where's Henry?
448
00:32:35,374 --> 00:32:37,876
Look,
I don't know where Henry is.
449
00:32:38,444 --> 00:32:40,879
That's what your
last friend said.
450
00:32:43,949 --> 00:32:45,150
Mago!
451
00:32:45,817 --> 00:32:46,818
Oh...
452
00:32:54,793 --> 00:32:56,529
Love a bit of Dublin blood.
453
00:32:56,562 --> 00:32:59,432
Now, we're opening up
this club tonight
454
00:32:59,465 --> 00:33:02,301
and I don't want Henry
coming over and spoiling it.
455
00:33:02,335 --> 00:33:05,103
I told him it's over.
456
00:33:05,136 --> 00:33:07,138
But he keeps stalking me.
457
00:33:07,172 --> 00:33:10,543
I swear to god,
I don't know where he is!
458
00:33:10,576 --> 00:33:12,278
I've no problem with your kind!
459
00:33:12,311 --> 00:33:14,846
If you want to lure
innocent people into a club,
460
00:33:14,879 --> 00:33:17,882
and turn them into vampires,
that's your own business.
461
00:33:17,916 --> 00:33:19,328
Each to their own,
that's what I say,
462
00:33:19,352 --> 00:33:20,986
each to your own.
463
00:33:21,019 --> 00:33:24,089
Yeah?
It's Henry that has the problem.
464
00:33:24,122 --> 00:33:25,757
Not me.
465
00:33:25,991 --> 00:33:28,927
He won't rest
until he ruins your plans
466
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,129
and turns you all
into a bag of ashes!
467
00:33:31,162 --> 00:33:33,031
That's all he talks about.
468
00:33:33,064 --> 00:33:33,898
That!
469
00:33:33,932 --> 00:33:36,335
And... trains.
470
00:33:37,603 --> 00:33:40,005
He's mad for the trains, he is.
471
00:33:40,038 --> 00:33:43,276
Well, he is a member of the
Welsh highway rail society.
472
00:33:43,309 --> 00:33:45,411
And the branch line society.
473
00:33:46,911 --> 00:33:49,014
What's a branch line society?!
474
00:33:49,147 --> 00:33:51,082
He shows off his card
at the rank.
475
00:33:51,116 --> 00:33:53,084
Trains. That's it.
476
00:33:53,118 --> 00:33:55,354
Trains. We'll say cuckoo
for choo-choos!
477
00:33:55,388 --> 00:33:57,222
Follow me.
478
00:33:57,256 --> 00:33:58,923
Hey-hey-hey-hey!
479
00:34:00,125 --> 00:34:02,361
Can I... can I head on now?
480
00:34:02,861 --> 00:34:06,097
Don't drain him dry!
We need to build up our numbers.
481
00:34:06,131 --> 00:34:08,066
No! No! No!
482
00:34:08,099 --> 00:34:11,002
Amanda, wait 'til you see this.
483
00:34:12,137 --> 00:34:15,206
Him and his fuckin' trains.
484
00:34:15,240 --> 00:34:17,610
- Aw, stop the lights.
- Look at that!
485
00:34:17,643 --> 00:34:19,844
He got me
that for me hens weekend,
486
00:34:19,878 --> 00:34:23,114
- keep me warm.
- State of it.
487
00:34:23,148 --> 00:34:24,517
Aw.
488
00:34:26,385 --> 00:34:29,187
Here, you can track
his scent from that.
489
00:34:29,220 --> 00:34:32,525
- Ooh, we'll get him with this.
- And after the club tonight,
490
00:34:32,558 --> 00:34:36,127
we'll have enough vampires
to take over this city.
491
00:34:36,161 --> 00:34:37,630
Nice one.
492
00:34:37,663 --> 00:34:39,864
Choo-choo!
493
00:35:06,258 --> 00:35:08,561
Don't worry deco,
I'm not going to kill you.
494
00:35:08,594 --> 00:35:11,364
I'm going to help you,
this is for your own good.
495
00:35:11,464 --> 00:35:13,265
Yeah, I know.
496
00:35:13,898 --> 00:35:16,234
Just have to be ready
for when the cravings kick in.
497
00:35:16,268 --> 00:35:19,104
Look, I have all
of this under control.
498
00:35:19,137 --> 00:35:22,475
Alright? But if it gives you
peace of mind to tie me up,
499
00:35:22,508 --> 00:35:24,577
suppose I'm happy
to do it for you.
500
00:35:30,148 --> 00:35:31,550
Fuck!
501
00:35:31,684 --> 00:35:35,287
Get me out of these ropes,
I'm fucking parched!
502
00:35:36,522 --> 00:35:38,957
Please! Just a drop!
503
00:35:38,990 --> 00:35:40,526
That's all I'm asking!
504
00:35:40,559 --> 00:35:43,094
Sure I'm tied up,
I can't do anything,
505
00:35:43,128 --> 00:35:45,063
just drop it on me tongue!
506
00:35:45,364 --> 00:35:47,366
Just put it there, look!
507
00:35:47,733 --> 00:35:49,602
What's a bit of blood
between brothers?
508
00:35:49,635 --> 00:35:51,570
Look, you owe it to me!
509
00:35:52,971 --> 00:35:54,973
The big guilty look on ya!
510
00:35:58,042 --> 00:35:59,412
He's lying!
511
00:35:59,845 --> 00:36:02,281
What are ya looking at him for?!
512
00:36:02,581 --> 00:36:04,417
Ugh, for...!
513
00:36:06,619 --> 00:36:10,021
What are you doing tapping away
with that fucking finger?!
514
00:36:10,054 --> 00:36:12,157
Lookin' up about vampires.
515
00:36:12,190 --> 00:36:14,527
Trying to see if there's
anything I can do to help ya.
516
00:36:14,926 --> 00:36:18,564
"A vampire
is usually a suave individual,
517
00:36:19,097 --> 00:36:21,434
in possession of great wealth."
518
00:36:21,467 --> 00:36:25,103
Last time I seen that finger,
it was pointed at me.
519
00:36:25,738 --> 00:36:28,441
What started
all this fuckin' shite.
520
00:36:28,474 --> 00:36:30,309
If I didn't get kicked out
of the gaff,
521
00:36:30,342 --> 00:36:33,712
I'd be out livin' my life,
I'd be a... I'd be...
522
00:36:33,746 --> 00:36:36,948
- You'll be what?
- I'd be a... pilot!
523
00:36:49,495 --> 00:36:51,330
Matthew...
524
00:36:53,332 --> 00:36:55,133
Matthew...
525
00:36:55,367 --> 00:36:57,636
Listen to your brother, deco.
526
00:36:59,103 --> 00:37:02,207
Now bring him some blood...
527
00:37:08,581 --> 00:37:10,382
Ignore him.
528
00:37:10,416 --> 00:37:13,319
Go back to your computer.
For now...
529
00:37:13,352 --> 00:37:15,387
Matt, we could try something.
530
00:37:15,488 --> 00:37:18,390
We could sort out his fangs,
once and for all.
531
00:37:18,424 --> 00:37:21,393
What do you want me to do?
Get a set of braces?!
532
00:37:21,427 --> 00:37:22,628
No, get rid of them!
533
00:37:22,661 --> 00:37:24,396
Before, before he bites someone,
534
00:37:24,430 --> 00:37:26,532
well that would...
Stop the urges,
535
00:37:26,565 --> 00:37:29,768
like, like neutering a cat!
536
00:37:30,168 --> 00:37:32,471
Da left the toolbox
under the stairs.
537
00:37:32,571 --> 00:37:34,507
We can get the pliers
out of that.
538
00:37:34,907 --> 00:37:37,175
Oh, did he? Oh, good.
539
00:37:37,208 --> 00:37:39,378
Yeah, I'm sorry
if I don't jump for fucking joy
540
00:37:39,411 --> 00:37:41,045
at that idea!
541
00:37:42,681 --> 00:37:45,317
Oh you, I'm tellin' ya.
542
00:37:47,686 --> 00:37:51,022
Oh, if I get me hands on ya!
543
00:37:51,624 --> 00:37:53,359
You'll know about...
544
00:38:03,101 --> 00:38:05,236
Come on, Ireland.
545
00:38:05,271 --> 00:38:09,240
David O'Leary is entrusted
with taking the penalty.
546
00:38:09,542 --> 00:38:12,278
This kick can decide it all.
547
00:38:13,445 --> 00:38:16,315
The nation holds its breath.
548
00:38:40,138 --> 00:38:42,341
- And the other one.
- Wait, wait, wait...
549
00:38:42,374 --> 00:38:45,311
No, no, alright, alright.
550
00:38:45,344 --> 00:38:47,513
Just give us a second pal,
just...
551
00:38:56,855 --> 00:38:58,557
Did it stop the cravings?
552
00:38:59,925 --> 00:39:01,627
It didn't work!
553
00:39:05,631 --> 00:39:06,699
Payback.
554
00:39:06,732 --> 00:39:08,767
Aw, you bastard ye!
555
00:39:08,934 --> 00:39:11,270
Wait 'til I get
a hold of you, pal!
556
00:39:11,303 --> 00:39:13,405
See your neck,
it's first on my list!
557
00:39:13,439 --> 00:39:15,774
Not if I stake you first.
558
00:39:17,710 --> 00:39:19,411
Come on, push yourself over!
559
00:39:19,445 --> 00:39:21,580
I'm trying, you asshole!
560
00:39:21,614 --> 00:39:24,883
You can't even get over a step,
no wonder Sheila left you!
561
00:39:26,184 --> 00:39:27,753
- I'll break your nose!
- Shut up!
562
00:39:28,087 --> 00:39:30,689
I was reading up
on that website about vampires.
563
00:39:30,723 --> 00:39:33,726
Vampires can drink any blood.
That means animals, too.
564
00:39:33,759 --> 00:39:36,662
Any blood will do,
I'm not very peculiar about it.
565
00:39:36,695 --> 00:39:39,898
Don't give him any blood.
Let him waste away.
566
00:39:39,932 --> 00:39:42,401
You shut your mouth,
I'm sick of your bright ideas!
567
00:39:42,434 --> 00:39:44,336
What do you want,
a dog or a cat?
568
00:39:44,937 --> 00:39:46,805
I've always wanted a cat.
569
00:39:46,839 --> 00:39:48,407
You're not getting
a pet here deco,
570
00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:49,808
you're gonna have
to bite into it.
571
00:39:49,842 --> 00:39:51,377
Ah, yeah.
572
00:39:51,410 --> 00:39:53,379
Mr McCarthy
down the road has a dog.
573
00:39:53,412 --> 00:39:56,247
Ah jaysus, you couldn't
eat a Jack Russell!
574
00:39:56,482 --> 00:39:58,717
Yeah. Too snappy.
575
00:40:00,419 --> 00:40:03,489
I'll think of something.
You two behave yourselves.
576
00:40:10,329 --> 00:40:12,564
So where did you
plan the honeymoon?
577
00:40:39,024 --> 00:40:40,759
Fuck...
578
00:40:42,928 --> 00:40:43,938
And you're very welcome back
579
00:40:43,962 --> 00:40:45,764
and thanks very much
indeed for joining us,
580
00:40:45,798 --> 00:40:47,466
and if you were
listening earlier,
581
00:40:47,499 --> 00:40:49,435
we've been talking
about bloodsuckers,
582
00:40:49,468 --> 00:40:52,538
and Rob brought up
the topic of vampires,
583
00:40:52,571 --> 00:40:54,506
now we'll go to line one,
how are ya, Rob?
584
00:40:54,540 --> 00:40:57,409
Yeah, I just want to say i'm
after waking up there
585
00:40:57,443 --> 00:40:59,845
this morning with
a puncture in me neck...
586
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:05,384
Those vampires are coming
over here, all over...
587
00:41:08,420 --> 00:41:09,788
Now...
588
00:41:12,357 --> 00:41:13,759
Piss.
589
00:41:15,027 --> 00:41:17,262
I'm horrified
by what I'm hearing.
590
00:41:17,296 --> 00:41:19,565
We're just living our lives...
591
00:41:21,333 --> 00:41:23,335
You're only a bloodsucker,
yeah?!
592
00:41:23,368 --> 00:41:24,703
Lying in your coffin all day!
593
00:41:24,737 --> 00:41:26,538
You need a dose of reality, pal!
594
00:41:26,572 --> 00:41:29,875
You wait until it get's dark...
595
00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:37,883
Messages coming in
and the advice seems to be
596
00:41:37,916 --> 00:41:40,919
don't go near them,
steer clear of them.
597
00:41:46,525 --> 00:41:48,927
- Matt?!
- Could not wait.
598
00:41:49,161 --> 00:41:52,030
The second day of our
honeymoon was going to be,
599
00:41:52,064 --> 00:41:54,299
we were going to on
the frecciarossa,
600
00:41:54,333 --> 00:41:56,568
the high speed train
from Rome to Naples.
601
00:41:56,602 --> 00:41:58,937
It reaches speeds
of 220 miles an hour,
602
00:41:58,971 --> 00:42:01,740
with over 72 daily connections,
603
00:42:01,774 --> 00:42:04,376
some of which are
non-stop service.
604
00:42:04,743 --> 00:42:06,345
Does that answer your question?
605
00:42:06,378 --> 00:42:09,381
Very much so,
thank you very much, Henry.
606
00:42:10,115 --> 00:42:10,949
Kill me now.
607
00:42:10,983 --> 00:42:13,285
I think I have something
that might help.
608
00:42:15,687 --> 00:42:18,390
Sorry buddy,
it just has to be this way.
609
00:42:22,628 --> 00:42:23,896
G'wan.
610
00:42:24,329 --> 00:42:26,298
Take a swig out of it.
611
00:42:26,999 --> 00:42:28,801
Sure he has no neck on him.
612
00:42:28,834 --> 00:42:30,602
He's no use to me.
613
00:42:30,936 --> 00:42:32,538
You have to try.
614
00:42:36,642 --> 00:42:38,877
Ah, he's too furry.
615
00:42:39,077 --> 00:42:40,779
I could stick a straw in him.
616
00:42:40,813 --> 00:42:43,015
He's a rabbit,
not a Capri sun, deco.
617
00:42:43,849 --> 00:42:45,083
Try again.
618
00:42:46,451 --> 00:42:47,920
Ah, jaysus.
619
00:42:49,721 --> 00:42:51,023
Sorry, pal.
620
00:42:53,959 --> 00:42:57,429
- Ah, the little bastard bit me!
- Jaysus, I'm not into that!
621
00:42:58,730 --> 00:43:00,699
Tastes like bleedin' carrots!
622
00:43:01,267 --> 00:43:04,336
- I hate carrots!
- You're a shite vampire!
623
00:43:04,436 --> 00:43:06,071
That's a waste of good blood!
624
00:43:07,673 --> 00:43:10,008
I want the real thing!
Come here to me!
625
00:43:11,009 --> 00:43:12,744
You set him off!
626
00:43:12,778 --> 00:43:14,446
Get us out of here!
627
00:43:14,479 --> 00:43:17,783
Hurry! Come on! Come on!
628
00:43:18,116 --> 00:43:19,818
Come on!
629
00:43:25,958 --> 00:43:28,427
Take your time, Matt,
take your time!
630
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:43,051
He'll calm down in a minute,
631
00:43:43,075 --> 00:43:45,043
as long as you don't
give him any more blood.
632
00:43:52,784 --> 00:43:55,754
Where's me fuckin' rabbit?!
633
00:43:56,188 --> 00:43:58,490
Where's me fuckin' rabbit?!
634
00:43:59,791 --> 00:44:01,693
Oh, nidge...
635
00:44:03,061 --> 00:44:04,663
Where the fuck...?
636
00:44:06,064 --> 00:44:07,766
Where the fuck...
637
00:44:08,734 --> 00:44:10,135
Nidge?
638
00:44:13,639 --> 00:44:15,140
There ye are,
ye little bollocks.
639
00:44:35,060 --> 00:44:37,195
Matt get this dirt-bag off me!
640
00:44:45,938 --> 00:44:47,472
I can't hold him!
641
00:44:59,718 --> 00:45:01,153
Aw, fuck.
642
00:45:06,925 --> 00:45:09,061
The mad bastard's
done a bomb dive!
643
00:45:09,494 --> 00:45:11,029
Deco, leave him...
644
00:45:23,642 --> 00:45:25,744
Fuck!
645
00:45:27,779 --> 00:45:30,582
Come on, get up. Come on!
646
00:45:31,683 --> 00:45:34,052
No! No, leave me alone!
647
00:45:46,798 --> 00:45:48,633
- Get into the light!
- No, no, no!
648
00:45:48,667 --> 00:45:51,203
- Get up!
- I seen the bleedin' devil!
649
00:45:54,039 --> 00:45:54,840
I've seen the devil!
650
00:45:54,873 --> 00:45:58,176
I've seen his eyes!
It's not true!
651
00:45:58,510 --> 00:46:00,045
I'm trying to help you!
652
00:46:01,947 --> 00:46:03,048
Let go, deco!
653
00:46:05,250 --> 00:46:08,887
Don't let me go,
you little bollocks!
654
00:46:10,856 --> 00:46:13,592
- Deco, let go.
- Don't let him in!
655
00:46:17,330 --> 00:46:20,232
Matt, get in there, stop him,
don't let him drain him
656
00:46:20,266 --> 00:46:23,802
because if he drains him,
he'll become a vampire!
657
00:46:23,902 --> 00:46:26,872
No, no, no, if he drains him,
658
00:46:26,905 --> 00:46:29,107
he won't be a vampire,
he'll be dead!
659
00:46:29,141 --> 00:46:30,876
Will I let him drain him
or not?!
660
00:46:30,909 --> 00:46:33,111
Just get in there and stop him!
661
00:46:33,145 --> 00:46:35,647
Ah here, you're scaring me now.
662
00:46:42,020 --> 00:46:43,021
Deco...
663
00:46:45,090 --> 00:46:47,893
Before you say anything,
you should have a sip.
664
00:46:48,193 --> 00:46:50,629
Vintage blood from...
665
00:46:50,929 --> 00:46:53,031
1963.
666
00:46:53,198 --> 00:46:54,300
A great year.
667
00:46:54,866 --> 00:46:56,635
You said you wouldn't
bite anyone!
668
00:46:56,668 --> 00:46:57,669
Ah, what?!
669
00:46:58,170 --> 00:47:01,640
He was a scumbag,
sold me my first hit.
670
00:47:01,673 --> 00:47:03,175
He's ruined enough lives.
671
00:47:03,208 --> 00:47:06,945
Henry says to drain him dry,
unless you want him coming back.
672
00:47:07,346 --> 00:47:09,081
Happy days!
673
00:48:14,447 --> 00:48:17,416
I'm after necking
those few pints fast.
674
00:48:19,251 --> 00:48:21,354
I feel ashamed of meself.
675
00:48:24,290 --> 00:48:25,824
That blood...
676
00:48:28,193 --> 00:48:30,296
Has gone straight to me head.
677
00:48:33,999 --> 00:48:36,034
Don't you be judging me now.
678
00:48:36,402 --> 00:48:38,337
I didn't even like it.
679
00:48:39,070 --> 00:48:41,072
Just curiosity.
680
00:48:45,511 --> 00:48:47,413
I'm not into it anymore.
681
00:48:49,382 --> 00:48:50,982
Anyways, look,
682
00:48:53,118 --> 00:48:55,020
you clean up this mess,
683
00:48:57,022 --> 00:48:58,089
you owe it to me.
684
00:48:58,123 --> 00:48:59,325
You owe me!
685
00:48:59,358 --> 00:49:01,059
You owe it to me!
686
00:49:01,092 --> 00:49:02,761
All I see is wires here
687
00:49:02,794 --> 00:49:04,829
and I want to know
where that fuckin' telly is
688
00:49:04,863 --> 00:49:08,267
or you will be out
that door in two minutes flat!
689
00:49:08,301 --> 00:49:10,303
I am going to explode!
690
00:49:10,336 --> 00:49:12,305
Maybe someone robbed it
or something, like.
691
00:49:12,338 --> 00:49:13,939
- Do you know who robbed it?
- Dunno.
692
00:49:13,972 --> 00:49:15,173
No, he says he doesn't know.
693
00:49:15,207 --> 00:49:16,942
Did he fuckin' Rob that telly?!
694
00:49:16,975 --> 00:49:19,878
Who stole the telly?
695
00:49:22,348 --> 00:49:25,284
I fuckin' knew it!
696
00:49:40,266 --> 00:49:42,067
I don't owe you anything!
697
00:49:42,100 --> 00:49:43,402
It's your own fuckin' fault
698
00:49:43,436 --> 00:49:45,371
you got kicked out
in the first place!
699
00:49:45,404 --> 00:49:46,572
You were a junkie!
700
00:49:46,606 --> 00:49:49,508
And ma was sick of you robbing
shite from your own house!
701
00:49:50,376 --> 00:49:52,143
And yeah, I ratted on you.
702
00:49:52,811 --> 00:49:55,314
Cause I didn't wanna come down
them stairs one morning
703
00:49:55,348 --> 00:49:57,350
and find you lying
on the ground dead
704
00:49:57,383 --> 00:50:00,885
with a needle sticking out
of your fucking arm!
705
00:50:04,823 --> 00:50:08,193
I'm done feeling guilty
about that, deco.
706
00:50:09,060 --> 00:50:13,765
I didn't betray you,
you chose that shite over me!
707
00:50:14,467 --> 00:50:18,169
I... do you know what?
I don't know if I care anymore!
708
00:50:18,803 --> 00:50:21,806
'Cause I feel nothing
towards you.
709
00:50:22,375 --> 00:50:23,542
Nothing.
710
00:50:23,576 --> 00:50:25,444
You're wound up.
711
00:50:25,810 --> 00:50:28,813
- Sit down.
- I fucking hate you.
712
00:50:28,913 --> 00:50:31,350
Honestly, me own brother,
713
00:50:31,651 --> 00:50:33,319
ma does, too.
714
00:50:34,252 --> 00:50:35,854
Says it all the time.
715
00:50:36,289 --> 00:50:38,391
Biggest regret of her life
was having you.
716
00:50:46,131 --> 00:50:49,200
Yeah, well I'll get to live
forever now, won't I?
717
00:50:51,236 --> 00:50:53,805
I'll get to see
the two of you dead.
718
00:50:56,442 --> 00:50:58,143
You'll always be on your own.
719
00:50:59,077 --> 00:51:00,446
No one to love you.
720
00:51:05,050 --> 00:51:07,252
Who the fuck's this
annoying me now?
721
00:51:07,486 --> 00:51:09,087
Aw, it's Natalie.
722
00:51:11,222 --> 00:51:13,224
Alright, Natalie? It's Matt.
723
00:51:13,259 --> 00:51:16,395
Me and deco are around
in the house, 18 Joel street.
724
00:51:16,429 --> 00:51:18,930
You should come around,
he'd love to see you.
725
00:51:18,963 --> 00:51:20,865
No, no,
what are you after doing?
726
00:51:31,976 --> 00:51:34,112
Wait 'til she sees
you're a vampire.
727
00:51:35,213 --> 00:51:36,981
I bet she dumps you.
728
00:51:47,426 --> 00:51:49,160
I'll take care of this.
729
00:51:49,928 --> 00:51:51,029
Wait.
730
00:51:51,831 --> 00:51:54,467
I want you to teach me
how to kill vampires.
731
00:51:55,033 --> 00:51:57,135
I'm tired of getting
pushed around.
732
00:51:59,705 --> 00:52:04,310
My stake of choice has a one
and a quarter inch diameter
733
00:52:04,343 --> 00:52:06,244
for optimum grip.
734
00:52:06,278 --> 00:52:09,482
And sandalwood is my preference,
735
00:52:09,515 --> 00:52:12,485
because it's such
a versatile wood.
736
00:52:12,518 --> 00:52:15,654
It's both light and strong,
737
00:52:15,688 --> 00:52:19,392
it's just a personal choice,
you find what works for you.
738
00:52:23,529 --> 00:52:25,029
Agh!
739
00:52:31,035 --> 00:52:33,472
Well, that's the...
That's the blunt end.
740
00:52:33,706 --> 00:52:36,308
How'd you make the pointy end,
with a sword or something?
741
00:52:39,612 --> 00:52:41,212
Under the ribs. Ragh!
742
00:52:43,114 --> 00:52:44,383
What's that?!
743
00:52:49,355 --> 00:52:52,491
It's time that little boy
became a man.
744
00:52:55,093 --> 00:52:56,194
Good.
745
00:52:56,227 --> 00:52:57,329
Better.
746
00:52:57,363 --> 00:52:58,564
Easy!
747
00:52:59,498 --> 00:53:00,932
Focus.
748
00:53:18,016 --> 00:53:20,753
Killing vampires
is like train spotting.
749
00:53:20,786 --> 00:53:23,021
You let them come to you.
750
00:53:23,121 --> 00:53:26,191
Of course, those railway
locomotive traction maintenance
751
00:53:26,224 --> 00:53:28,661
depots like willesden,
where they're all lined up
752
00:53:28,694 --> 00:53:30,028
and waiting for you.
753
00:53:31,029 --> 00:53:31,764
Deco!
754
00:53:31,797 --> 00:53:33,399
Open this door!
755
00:53:34,733 --> 00:53:36,469
I know you're in there!
756
00:53:38,069 --> 00:53:39,204
Deco!
757
00:53:41,807 --> 00:53:44,376
I can actually see you,
ya thick.
758
00:53:48,314 --> 00:53:50,483
A lathe might be a bit quicker.
759
00:53:52,685 --> 00:53:56,120
- So where exactly is the heart?
- In the centre.
760
00:53:59,391 --> 00:54:00,726
A little bit to the left.
761
00:54:07,833 --> 00:54:09,468
I don't think I can do it.
762
00:54:10,168 --> 00:54:11,704
Look, Matt,
763
00:54:11,737 --> 00:54:13,672
deco just killed
a friend of yours.
764
00:54:13,706 --> 00:54:15,541
- Well...
- A good man.
765
00:54:15,941 --> 00:54:17,810
- Eh...
- Well, a human being.
766
00:54:17,843 --> 00:54:19,712
Yeah. Okay, fair enough.
767
00:54:19,745 --> 00:54:22,080
You've got blood
on your hands now.
768
00:54:22,348 --> 00:54:24,283
- What?
- You've got blood on your hands
769
00:54:24,316 --> 00:54:27,620
- you should wash them.
- Alright, thanks.
770
00:54:28,254 --> 00:54:30,723
Me and Matt were out
playing ball in the garden.
771
00:54:30,756 --> 00:54:32,258
Some day for it.
772
00:54:32,291 --> 00:54:33,091
And what?
773
00:54:33,124 --> 00:54:35,427
The ball just bit your neck,
did it?
774
00:54:35,528 --> 00:54:37,061
Right, tell me.
775
00:54:37,095 --> 00:54:38,673
You're making
a bleedin' psycho out of me.
776
00:54:38,697 --> 00:54:40,666
Just tell me
what's after happening.
777
00:54:40,699 --> 00:54:44,637
- I, eh... I, eh...
- Will you stop say "eh"?!
778
00:54:44,670 --> 00:54:46,772
Will you just tell me
what happened?!
779
00:54:46,805 --> 00:54:48,374
Why you looking
to the right for?
780
00:54:48,407 --> 00:54:50,843
That means you're lying deco,
that's psychology!
781
00:54:50,876 --> 00:54:52,678
Look, it's not about
another bird.
782
00:54:52,711 --> 00:54:53,822
You want us to see other people,
783
00:54:53,846 --> 00:54:55,347
is that what all this is?
784
00:54:55,381 --> 00:54:56,615
- No!
- Cause if it is deco,
785
00:54:56,649 --> 00:54:58,551
it's not like
I haven't had any offers!
786
00:54:58,584 --> 00:55:01,320
- What other offers?
- Mick o'Connor for one thing.
787
00:55:01,353 --> 00:55:03,087
And he has a better
Ronnie than you do!
788
00:55:03,121 --> 00:55:05,524
That little bit of bum fluff
on your lip, state of you!
789
00:55:05,558 --> 00:55:08,159
He's been growing his
twice as long,
790
00:55:08,192 --> 00:55:09,227
thank you very much.
791
00:55:09,261 --> 00:55:11,630
Stacey's friend said
that there was some bleedin'
792
00:55:11,664 --> 00:55:14,132
aul one chewing
the face off you.
793
00:55:14,232 --> 00:55:15,501
Do you know what deco, I'm done.
794
00:55:15,534 --> 00:55:17,536
I'm over this conversation.
795
00:55:18,304 --> 00:55:19,638
All right, wait!
796
00:55:20,039 --> 00:55:22,708
I was at a party,
and there was this bird,
797
00:55:22,741 --> 00:55:25,778
but she attacked me
and she bit me in the neck.
798
00:55:25,811 --> 00:55:27,880
And I'm a...
I'm infected with something.
799
00:55:27,913 --> 00:55:30,516
Whatcha mean you're infected
with something?!
800
00:55:30,549 --> 00:55:31,784
With what?!
801
00:55:34,553 --> 00:55:37,323
Be very open minded about this.
802
00:55:37,823 --> 00:55:40,593
Here it is, here it fuckin' is.
803
00:55:40,626 --> 00:55:43,729
Here's your big moment, deco.
Just say it.
804
00:55:47,299 --> 00:55:49,735
She turned me into a vampire.
805
00:56:07,185 --> 00:56:09,355
Listen, once you've killed
your brother,
806
00:56:09,388 --> 00:56:11,256
I've been looking for
an apprentice.
807
00:56:11,290 --> 00:56:13,559
Sheila's having a party tonight,
808
00:56:13,592 --> 00:56:15,694
we could finish this
once and for all.
809
00:56:15,995 --> 00:56:18,162
How are ya, Henry?
810
00:56:19,698 --> 00:56:21,767
Sheila sends her love.
811
00:56:25,203 --> 00:56:26,538
How did you find me?
812
00:56:26,572 --> 00:56:31,477
Aw man, you smell good.
813
00:56:31,577 --> 00:56:33,512
Matt, training!
814
00:56:37,850 --> 00:56:40,552
You can't come in,
I won't invite you in.
815
00:56:40,586 --> 00:56:42,354
Ah now, come on.
816
00:56:42,655 --> 00:56:46,592
Don't think you can say
a shed's accommodation, what?
817
00:56:46,759 --> 00:56:48,879
Well there are landlords
that might disagree with you.
818
00:56:57,302 --> 00:56:59,538
Agh, you little bollocks!
819
00:57:10,449 --> 00:57:13,251
Henry, I didn't mean it,
Henry, hurry up, get up!
820
00:57:13,285 --> 00:57:14,520
Henry!
821
00:57:15,988 --> 00:57:17,489
Aw, fuck.
822
00:58:35,968 --> 00:58:37,503
Up the dubs!
823
00:58:44,643 --> 00:58:46,945
Henry, get up, come on.
824
00:58:48,847 --> 00:58:53,418
Oh, mommy,
I don't wanna go to school...
825
00:58:54,853 --> 00:58:56,989
You have a snooze,
I'll be back in a minute.
826
00:59:00,626 --> 00:59:02,895
- Do you know what I think?
- Aw, jaysus.
827
00:59:03,061 --> 00:59:04,863
I think that's bleedin' deadly.
828
00:59:04,897 --> 00:59:07,833
- What?
- Deco, I love all them vampire films!
829
00:59:07,866 --> 00:59:09,768
Team Edward
and team Jacobs and all that!
830
00:59:09,902 --> 00:59:12,571
- Team deco?
- Oh my god, gas.
831
00:59:12,704 --> 00:59:14,840
Yeah, look at me fangs
as well, look.
832
00:59:15,307 --> 00:59:17,376
Are they meant to be that small?
833
00:59:17,409 --> 00:59:19,545
- What?
- I'm only messing!
834
00:59:19,578 --> 00:59:21,313
They're lovely little fangs.
835
00:59:22,047 --> 00:59:23,615
Here...
836
00:59:23,916 --> 00:59:25,484
Oh?
837
00:59:25,818 --> 00:59:27,653
Would you like a bit of that?
838
00:59:29,588 --> 00:59:32,357
- What?
- Go on, get in there.
839
00:59:34,026 --> 00:59:37,696
- Make me a vampire.
- Oh, oh no, no, no, stop it.
840
00:59:37,729 --> 00:59:38,807
No, you don't know
what you're doing!
841
00:59:38,831 --> 00:59:40,766
- Deco, make me a vampire.
- No!
842
00:59:40,799 --> 00:59:41,943
- Go on.
- No, it's not funny.
843
00:59:41,967 --> 00:59:43,135
I know you want to!
844
00:59:43,168 --> 00:59:45,437
- It's no joke.
- What're you doing?!
845
00:59:45,704 --> 00:59:47,573
The state of your Ronnie!
846
01:01:01,947 --> 01:01:04,116
That Henry fella's
got in your head.
847
01:01:04,683 --> 01:01:06,118
I thought you
cared about Natalie!
848
01:01:06,151 --> 01:01:07,519
She asked for it!
849
01:01:09,521 --> 01:01:11,056
It's never your fault, is it?!
850
01:01:11,723 --> 01:01:14,026
No like,
she literally asked for it.
851
01:01:44,856 --> 01:01:46,558
Hello?
852
01:01:51,964 --> 01:01:52,998
All right, ma?
853
01:01:53,031 --> 01:01:54,809
What's wrong with you,
you sound out of breath?
854
01:01:54,833 --> 01:01:56,568
Yeah, I'm just in work,
I'm grand.
855
01:01:56,601 --> 01:01:58,837
I'm doing the shopping,
text me if you need anything.
856
01:01:58,870 --> 01:02:00,505
Alright go on,
I'll call you later.
857
01:02:00,539 --> 01:02:02,207
Don't be killing
yourself now, love.
858
01:02:27,632 --> 01:02:29,568
Deco, what're you doing?!
859
01:02:30,068 --> 01:02:31,737
Come here and I'll bite you.
860
01:02:33,672 --> 01:02:36,875
Deco, don't be at my foot,
don't do it!
861
01:03:20,685 --> 01:03:23,555
Get that bit of wood
out of my face!
862
01:03:56,355 --> 01:03:59,958
Matt! Let me in, Matt!
Please help!
863
01:04:09,801 --> 01:04:12,305
Oh, please! Oh, I'm burning!
864
01:04:14,840 --> 01:04:16,641
Ow, my skin, oh...
865
01:04:26,084 --> 01:04:27,819
Please...
866
01:04:53,412 --> 01:04:56,815
At least we got to hang out,
one more day.
867
01:05:22,841 --> 01:05:25,344
That's tasty as fuck, that is.
868
01:05:28,947 --> 01:05:30,081
Nat!
869
01:05:30,782 --> 01:05:32,017
Natalie!
870
01:05:39,124 --> 01:05:40,992
Oh, fuck.
871
01:05:41,394 --> 01:05:43,094
I couldn't kill me brother.
872
01:05:44,129 --> 01:05:45,197
Eejit!
873
01:05:45,230 --> 01:05:48,133
I'm kicking him out,
as soon as the sun goes down.
874
01:05:48,166 --> 01:05:49,468
- Seriously.
- I mean it!
875
01:05:49,502 --> 01:05:50,835
- Ha!
- I've had enough.
876
01:05:50,869 --> 01:05:52,438
Ha, dick!
877
01:05:54,973 --> 01:05:56,475
I brought you your jacket.
878
01:05:57,543 --> 01:05:59,378
Gets cold out here.
879
01:06:02,247 --> 01:06:03,782
Thank you.
880
01:06:10,121 --> 01:06:12,258
Come on Willy,
you've been on that for ages,
881
01:06:12,291 --> 01:06:13,492
will ya hurry up!
882
01:06:13,659 --> 01:06:15,528
Woah, woah, woah,
where you going with this?
883
01:06:15,561 --> 01:06:19,064
Put it in the corner,
I've already told you this!
884
01:06:19,097 --> 01:06:22,535
Guys, we're open in two hours.
885
01:06:22,568 --> 01:06:24,769
Yeah?
Can we hurry this up a bit?
886
01:06:25,003 --> 01:06:26,548
Why you looking at me
like you don't understand
887
01:06:26,572 --> 01:06:29,107
what I'm saying?
I'm saying it very clearly.
888
01:06:29,140 --> 01:06:32,345
Sheila, can you...
Sheila, are you okay?
889
01:06:32,478 --> 01:06:33,979
Sheila!
890
01:06:34,313 --> 01:06:35,448
Amanda's dead.
891
01:06:35,780 --> 01:06:38,484
Did you just get psychic
abilities right now?
892
01:06:38,517 --> 01:06:40,562
Like, did your mind just tell
you that, do we get that?!
893
01:06:40,586 --> 01:06:43,154
No, she just didn't reply
to my text messages!
894
01:06:43,188 --> 01:06:45,291
- Oh.
- We need to go sort this.
895
01:06:45,324 --> 01:06:46,425
Well I can't leave,
896
01:06:46,459 --> 01:06:48,494
or these clowns
will turn this place
897
01:06:48,527 --> 01:06:51,029
into a dental clinic
by the time we're back.
898
01:06:51,062 --> 01:06:52,062
Fair point.
899
01:06:53,266 --> 01:06:55,834
It's time me and Henry
broke up face to face.
900
01:06:55,867 --> 01:06:58,537
You stay calm,
you don't wind him up.
901
01:06:58,571 --> 01:07:00,439
- I've got this.
- You have!
902
01:07:01,340 --> 01:07:03,041
I'm zen.
903
01:07:03,276 --> 01:07:04,876
Well...
904
01:07:05,645 --> 01:07:07,912
She's zen.
She's zen, she's said she's zen.
905
01:07:08,046 --> 01:07:09,247
She's zen.
906
01:07:14,387 --> 01:07:15,321
Don't worry love,
907
01:07:15,354 --> 01:07:17,956
you just walk it off,
you'll feel better.
908
01:07:17,989 --> 01:07:20,825
Look, I thought I was a goner,
909
01:07:20,859 --> 01:07:23,462
but look at me now, what?
910
01:07:24,129 --> 01:07:27,266
Oi, you two.
It's nearly time to go.
911
01:07:27,466 --> 01:07:28,933
Get your things.
912
01:07:28,967 --> 01:07:31,537
What are you talking about,
you fool, ya?
913
01:07:35,608 --> 01:07:37,410
The sun'll be going down soon.
914
01:07:37,443 --> 01:07:39,144
Get your umbrellas.
915
01:07:39,312 --> 01:07:41,380
You can go on, it's safe now.
916
01:07:42,047 --> 01:07:44,317
Ah, you're trying to trick us.
917
01:07:44,684 --> 01:07:46,452
We're gonna stay right here
918
01:07:46,485 --> 01:07:48,521
until it's pitch black
out there.
919
01:07:49,087 --> 01:07:51,089
Once your fangs start growing,
920
01:07:51,122 --> 01:07:52,425
you've a lot more energy.
921
01:07:52,458 --> 01:07:55,026
Healing, strength, agility,
922
01:07:55,060 --> 01:07:57,028
and I'm definitely smarter!
923
01:07:58,264 --> 01:08:00,198
But everything has
its drawbacks.
924
01:08:00,399 --> 01:08:02,601
- Like the poxy sunlight.
- Oh, really?
925
01:08:02,635 --> 01:08:05,003
And I don't think vampires
can get boners.
926
01:08:05,036 --> 01:08:06,339
- Oh really?!
- Yeah.
927
01:08:06,372 --> 01:08:07,306
No, no,
928
01:08:07,340 --> 01:08:10,108
I think you're thinking
of zombies, you thick.
929
01:08:10,141 --> 01:08:11,310
Don't call me a thick.
930
01:08:11,344 --> 01:08:14,112
I actually find that
very offensive.
931
01:08:14,380 --> 01:08:17,483
- I think you should apologize.
- I'm not apologizing for that.
932
01:08:18,517 --> 01:08:20,151
Very mature.
933
01:08:21,587 --> 01:08:24,856
I'm sorry, deco,
I didn't mean to...
934
01:08:25,391 --> 01:08:28,193
Cross any lines there
or hurt your feelings.
935
01:08:28,594 --> 01:08:30,296
Don't worry about it, Matthew.
936
01:08:30,329 --> 01:08:31,996
Anyway!
937
01:08:32,030 --> 01:08:33,590
I actually think
I'd be very good at it.
938
01:08:33,632 --> 01:08:35,967
- Yeah?
- Yeah cause I love going out at night.
939
01:08:36,000 --> 01:08:37,168
She does.
940
01:08:37,202 --> 01:08:39,046
Plus you get to be immoral
and live forever and all that.
941
01:08:39,070 --> 01:08:42,408
- It's immortal, not immoral.
- Shut up you, you thick!
942
01:08:42,441 --> 01:08:45,411
That's what I'm after saying,
i-mor-dal!
943
01:08:45,944 --> 01:08:48,079
That's all this country needs.
944
01:08:48,213 --> 01:08:49,914
More bleedin' vampires.
945
01:08:49,948 --> 01:08:51,283
Ah, fu...
946
01:09:23,148 --> 01:09:24,483
Change of plans.
947
01:09:38,731 --> 01:09:40,098
Henry!
948
01:09:42,167 --> 01:09:45,136
- What are you doing?
- Oh, I was about to, um...
949
01:09:45,838 --> 01:09:48,307
You do know that you've
killed a lot of people?
950
01:09:48,340 --> 01:09:50,241
You're the one
killing my friends!
951
01:09:50,276 --> 01:09:51,477
That's worse!
952
01:09:51,510 --> 01:09:54,078
You're the one who's going out
at night biting new people
953
01:09:54,112 --> 01:09:55,681
and creating new vampires!
954
01:09:55,714 --> 01:09:57,650
And I know about
your club later.
955
01:09:57,883 --> 01:10:00,286
Why are you being so mean?!
956
01:10:00,319 --> 01:10:02,588
You're making me out
to be a monster!
957
01:10:02,721 --> 01:10:05,291
This obviously meant
nothing to you!
958
01:10:05,324 --> 01:10:07,693
You care more about
trains than me!
959
01:10:07,726 --> 01:10:09,628
That's not true.
960
01:10:09,662 --> 01:10:11,464
Ooh, wait...
961
01:10:12,264 --> 01:10:15,033
I didn't think the 9:30
from howth to bray
962
01:10:15,066 --> 01:10:17,369
was operating on a Sunday.
963
01:10:17,403 --> 01:10:20,272
Name one thing
you loved about me!
964
01:10:21,574 --> 01:10:25,210
- You're smart.
- Please! So vague.
965
01:10:25,243 --> 01:10:28,112
I love the way you always
spoke exactly the way you felt.
966
01:10:28,146 --> 01:10:32,250
You're such a nerd, Henry!
967
01:10:32,284 --> 01:10:33,419
You don't mind it.
968
01:10:33,452 --> 01:10:36,555
Just stake me
and get it over with!
969
01:10:36,589 --> 01:10:39,057
- Yeah, stake her.
- You shut up!
970
01:10:40,526 --> 01:10:42,294
Oh, oh!
971
01:10:42,394 --> 01:10:45,264
Ha, they must have updated
their timetable.
972
01:10:48,501 --> 01:10:49,502
Henry!
973
01:11:07,486 --> 01:11:08,721
Idiot.
974
01:11:11,490 --> 01:11:13,191
Hate break-ups.
975
01:11:13,726 --> 01:11:16,027
Someone always gets hurt.
976
01:11:20,299 --> 01:11:22,501
Oh, Henry you never
tasted so good!
977
01:11:30,709 --> 01:11:32,545
Any chance of a bit of blood?
978
01:11:32,578 --> 01:11:34,547
Oh, would you look who it is!
979
01:11:34,580 --> 01:11:37,650
Here you, you keep your
grubby claws off my fella
980
01:11:37,683 --> 01:11:40,319
- you little fuckin' cretin!
- It's all right, love.
981
01:11:40,352 --> 01:11:41,830
- I'll box her head in!
- Come on no, we'll go in.
982
01:11:41,854 --> 01:11:43,756
- No, it's okay.
- They're rotten things!
983
01:11:46,190 --> 01:11:47,459
Do you smell that?
984
01:11:53,332 --> 01:11:56,134
Mother of god,
she's ab negative.
985
01:11:56,167 --> 01:11:58,804
One dabble of that
and you're hooked.
986
01:12:00,873 --> 01:12:03,141
She'll be great
for the raffle later.
987
01:12:07,446 --> 01:12:09,315
Excuse me, can I help you?
988
01:12:09,415 --> 01:12:11,483
Would you come with us, please?
989
01:12:11,517 --> 01:12:13,552
There's a raffle
we'd love you to take part in.
990
01:12:13,586 --> 01:12:15,888
A raffle? Ah here,
are you from the lotto?
991
01:12:15,921 --> 01:12:18,357
I sent that scratch card
in months ago!
992
01:12:18,390 --> 01:12:20,526
Yeah, that's it,
you're a winner!
993
01:12:20,559 --> 01:12:23,495
- Congratulations!
- Ma, wait.
994
01:12:24,630 --> 01:12:26,632
Here, put them in the fridge!
995
01:12:26,665 --> 01:12:28,367
- They're a bunch of vampires.
- Yeah,
996
01:12:28,400 --> 01:12:30,536
and they've been
praying on me for years,
997
01:12:30,569 --> 01:12:32,170
and what is it you said?
998
01:12:32,203 --> 01:12:34,138
More chance of being hit
by lightning?
999
01:12:34,172 --> 01:12:36,318
Well good job your poor aul
mother didn't listen to you!
1000
01:12:36,342 --> 01:12:37,343
Yeah!
1001
01:12:38,176 --> 01:12:39,378
Come on!
1002
01:12:39,945 --> 01:12:42,648
Wait 'til you see what
we have lined up for you.
1003
01:12:45,951 --> 01:12:47,185
Yoo-hoo!
1004
01:12:48,887 --> 01:12:52,223
She's raging.
Here, is Marty presenting it?
1005
01:12:52,257 --> 01:12:54,259
Aw, I watch him every week,
I love him.
1006
01:12:55,728 --> 01:12:57,830
Just be glad it's not you, yeah?
1007
01:12:59,331 --> 01:13:00,633
See ya!
1008
01:13:04,970 --> 01:13:07,539
They took ma,
you have to help her.
1009
01:13:10,643 --> 01:13:13,144
- What are you doing, come on!
- She all right?
1010
01:13:14,446 --> 01:13:15,848
Listen deco,
1011
01:13:15,881 --> 01:13:18,917
with your ma out of the picture,
we can inherit this house.
1012
01:13:19,318 --> 01:13:21,820
Here, yeah,
we talk about it later love.
1013
01:13:21,854 --> 01:13:22,788
Jaysus!
1014
01:13:22,821 --> 01:13:26,358
Listen. Look at me.
I know she's your ma,
1015
01:13:26,659 --> 01:13:29,595
but truth be told,
she never gave a fuck about you.
1016
01:13:30,194 --> 01:13:33,365
I'm the one who cares about you,
I'm your family now.
1017
01:13:36,502 --> 01:13:38,437
- All right?
- All right.
1018
01:13:40,472 --> 01:13:43,409
Hello? Yeah, emergency services?
1019
01:13:45,344 --> 01:13:47,279
What're you doing,
they're going to kill her!
1020
01:13:47,312 --> 01:13:48,681
She never gave a fuck about me,
1021
01:13:48,714 --> 01:13:50,582
why should I care about her?
1022
01:13:50,816 --> 01:13:51,717
Stay where you are,
1023
01:13:51,750 --> 01:13:53,310
you'd only end up
getting yourself hurt.
1024
01:13:55,621 --> 01:13:57,256
Just do as you're told.
1025
01:14:48,674 --> 01:14:49,675
Wow!
1026
01:14:50,142 --> 01:14:52,511
Jeez, I'm bleedin' parchin' now.
1027
01:14:54,780 --> 01:14:57,015
Right, I'll go down and see
1028
01:14:57,049 --> 01:14:59,485
if there's anything left
in that old bollocks, Henry.
1029
01:15:31,884 --> 01:15:35,287
See your stupid brother,
he's gonna ruin everything!
1030
01:15:35,387 --> 01:15:38,390
Get dressed, we have to stop him
from saving your ma!
1031
01:15:38,490 --> 01:15:40,626
Come on, will you?
Put your little Willy away!
1032
01:15:40,793 --> 01:15:41,994
Fly after me!
1033
01:15:42,027 --> 01:15:43,562
I already tried that.
1034
01:15:43,595 --> 01:15:44,930
Not like me, pal.
1035
01:15:51,637 --> 01:15:52,805
Ah!
1036
01:16:19,865 --> 01:16:20,866
Right.
1037
01:16:21,700 --> 01:16:23,001
Wait for me!
1038
01:16:31,410 --> 01:16:32,611
Right...
1039
01:17:02,140 --> 01:17:03,809
Aw, no...
1040
01:17:15,187 --> 01:17:16,855
Calling all taxi drivers.
1041
01:17:16,889 --> 01:17:19,958
We have a vampire situation
in the crypt nightclub,
1042
01:17:19,992 --> 01:17:22,394
requesting immediate back-up,
over.
1043
01:17:22,527 --> 01:17:25,197
Sorry there son, I have
a fare out to the airport.
1044
01:17:25,230 --> 01:17:26,698
I won't make it over.
1045
01:17:26,732 --> 01:17:27,599
Crypt club?
1046
01:17:27,633 --> 01:17:29,134
Sure that's on
the other side of town,
1047
01:17:29,167 --> 01:17:31,136
not bursting me balls
driving over there.
1048
01:17:31,169 --> 01:17:32,771
Yeah, forget about it!
1049
01:17:41,013 --> 01:17:42,814
Make a hard left.
1050
01:18:04,002 --> 01:18:05,504
Oh fuck.
1051
01:18:05,837 --> 01:18:07,005
Go away!
1052
01:18:09,041 --> 01:18:10,575
Fuck off!
1053
01:18:11,777 --> 01:18:13,578
Get off me motor, Natalie!
1054
01:18:37,602 --> 01:18:39,004
Please make a u-turn.
1055
01:18:40,872 --> 01:18:43,775
Listen Matt,
forget about your ma!
1056
01:18:44,042 --> 01:18:45,811
We can all live together.
1057
01:18:45,844 --> 01:18:47,779
Nobody absolutely
wrecking your...
1058
01:18:54,119 --> 01:18:55,220
Head.
1059
01:18:58,824 --> 01:18:59,825
Agh!
1060
01:19:06,332 --> 01:19:07,866
Go away, Natalie!
1061
01:19:08,967 --> 01:19:10,269
Go away!
1062
01:19:11,603 --> 01:19:12,938
Get off me, Natalie!
1063
01:20:31,384 --> 01:20:33,286
Oh-oh-oh, perfect.
1064
01:20:35,053 --> 01:20:36,855
Couldn't write it.
1065
01:21:32,844 --> 01:21:34,646
Sounds like it's lit in there!
1066
01:21:37,082 --> 01:21:38,783
We appreciate your donation.
1067
01:21:53,332 --> 01:21:54,966
Sorry, we're full tonight.
1068
01:21:55,133 --> 01:21:57,869
I have friends in there,
I have to see them.
1069
01:21:57,903 --> 01:21:59,405
They don't want to see you!
1070
01:21:59,804 --> 01:22:01,773
- Ha, ha, ha!
- Ha, ha, ha!
1071
01:22:01,806 --> 01:22:03,418
Yeah, I get it, but I'm just
gonna head on in.
1072
01:22:03,442 --> 01:22:05,710
Go that way again
and see what happens,
1073
01:22:05,744 --> 01:22:07,346
go that way
and see what happens.
1074
01:22:07,380 --> 01:22:08,414
I'll just go this way.
1075
01:22:08,447 --> 01:22:10,048
Go that way
and see what happens,
1076
01:22:10,081 --> 01:22:12,751
either way I have you covered
in all corners, pal.
1077
01:22:12,784 --> 01:22:15,421
- Look, I'm cool!
- I don't, I don't think
1078
01:22:15,454 --> 01:22:17,989
you're that cool, he doesn't
think you're that cool,
1079
01:22:18,023 --> 01:22:19,958
I think you should get
your little tiny legs
1080
01:22:19,991 --> 01:22:22,428
and go for a jog pal, yeah?
That way.
1081
01:22:22,628 --> 01:22:24,896
I just want to go in
to my friend.
1082
01:22:24,930 --> 01:22:28,800
Wow, going to just talk to the
man, pretend I'm not even here?!
1083
01:22:28,833 --> 01:22:30,969
Do you know
what I did to him last week?
1084
01:22:31,002 --> 01:22:33,004
He was in hospital
because of this and this.
1085
01:22:33,205 --> 01:22:34,739
So talk to him again.
1086
01:22:36,208 --> 01:22:39,378
I'm only buzzing with you,
go on in!
1087
01:22:39,412 --> 01:22:42,914
Ah, he's all right, go on,
scared the shite out of him.
1088
01:22:43,014 --> 01:22:44,383
Enjoy the night.
1089
01:22:46,017 --> 01:22:47,752
He has no friends.
1090
01:23:13,479 --> 01:23:15,780
I know why you're here tonight.
1091
01:23:21,052 --> 01:23:22,220
Raffle tickets?
1092
01:23:22,254 --> 01:23:24,055
Just the one, please.
1093
01:23:26,392 --> 01:23:27,792
Thank you.
1094
01:23:28,960 --> 01:23:34,132
Greetings my children
of the night!
1095
01:23:35,601 --> 01:23:40,805
Are you all ready
to get wasted?!
1096
01:23:44,510 --> 01:23:48,246
Tonight, we have
a very special prize!
1097
01:23:48,648 --> 01:23:52,917
This is a tasty little morsel
to get the evening going.
1098
01:23:53,084 --> 01:23:59,124
And she is... ab negative!
1099
01:24:02,261 --> 01:24:05,897
And the winner is...
1100
01:24:06,465 --> 01:24:08,301
Red...
1101
01:24:08,534 --> 01:24:10,835
37!
1102
01:24:17,142 --> 01:24:19,578
Red 37, before it goes off?
1103
01:24:20,446 --> 01:24:23,482
Come on,
we haven't got all night.
1104
01:24:24,483 --> 01:24:26,251
Red 37 anybody?
1105
01:24:27,420 --> 01:24:31,156
- I have it!
- We have a winner!
1106
01:24:33,259 --> 01:24:34,527
Yes!
1107
01:24:38,464 --> 01:24:41,534
I think you should have her
now before we all get thirsty.
1108
01:24:41,567 --> 01:24:43,269
Yeah, I'm excited.
1109
01:24:47,306 --> 01:24:50,376
- Oh, yummy!
- Get away from me neck!
1110
01:24:50,609 --> 01:24:54,212
- Ma, it's Matt.
- I know it's fuckin' Matt!
1111
01:24:54,245 --> 01:24:57,082
Get a move on will ya,
for fuck's sake!
1112
01:24:57,248 --> 01:24:59,184
Here, I have the ticket here,
1113
01:24:59,217 --> 01:25:01,454
that's the ticket!
It's a fix it is!
1114
01:25:01,487 --> 01:25:03,487
I should be drinking that
aul wan's blood, not him!
1115
01:25:03,723 --> 01:25:06,592
- Bloody raffle me hole!
- Get up, go, go!
1116
01:25:06,625 --> 01:25:08,527
Get after them!
1117
01:25:12,698 --> 01:25:14,232
Come on!
1118
01:25:14,333 --> 01:25:16,034
Go, go, go, go, go!
1119
01:25:25,110 --> 01:25:26,612
- Ma, hurry up.
- Oh Jesus.
1120
01:25:28,581 --> 01:25:30,316
Oh Jesus,
holy Mary mother of god!
1121
01:25:33,386 --> 01:25:34,553
Go, go, go.
1122
01:26:07,486 --> 01:26:10,221
Leave my son alone
or I'll break you in half!
1123
01:26:10,322 --> 01:26:11,724
You should be ashamed
of yourself,
1124
01:26:11,757 --> 01:26:13,592
a man of your age taking blood
1125
01:26:13,626 --> 01:26:15,661
that doesn't even belong to you!
1126
01:26:15,694 --> 01:26:17,296
Get off me you fuckin' bitch!
1127
01:26:19,532 --> 01:26:21,966
You stupid bleedin' vampire!
1128
01:26:35,781 --> 01:26:37,283
He had that coming.
1129
01:26:41,019 --> 01:26:42,954
Come on, go, go, go.
1130
01:26:45,324 --> 01:26:47,393
Declan! Oh my god, look at you.
1131
01:26:47,793 --> 01:26:49,160
- What's wrong with you?
- What?
1132
01:26:49,194 --> 01:26:50,463
Give us a look.
1133
01:26:50,596 --> 01:26:52,331
Oh no, are you a vampire?
Oh my god,
1134
01:26:52,364 --> 01:26:54,165
you ought to be a bloody
ashamed of yourself,
1135
01:26:54,199 --> 01:26:56,067
and look at him,
he's pissed, he's pissed!
1136
01:26:56,100 --> 01:26:59,204
No I'm not, I was pouring
the booze all over the ground!
1137
01:26:59,805 --> 01:27:02,341
I have them here!
The ringleaders.
1138
01:27:02,675 --> 01:27:03,742
Deco?
1139
01:27:03,776 --> 01:27:05,176
Look.
1140
01:27:11,216 --> 01:27:14,152
- Any day now, deco.
- Yeah, I'll get it in a second.
1141
01:27:15,554 --> 01:27:17,423
Stop foostering
with that fucking thing.
1142
01:27:30,402 --> 01:27:32,605
I always end up
cleaning up after you.
1143
01:27:32,705 --> 01:27:35,139
Jaysus Christ,
I'm only after risking my life
1144
01:27:35,173 --> 01:27:37,285
- and you're giving me grief.
- Yeah well it's your fault
1145
01:27:37,309 --> 01:27:38,611
I'm here in the first place!
1146
01:27:38,644 --> 01:27:40,346
Everything that
comes out of your mouth,
1147
01:27:40,379 --> 01:27:43,716
blame, blame, blame,
blame him, blame her,
1148
01:27:43,749 --> 01:27:45,116
blame everybody,
1149
01:27:45,149 --> 01:27:47,286
you blame everybody
but your bloody self!
1150
01:27:47,319 --> 01:27:49,622
- Can you stop?
- Take a good look at yourself.
1151
01:27:49,655 --> 01:27:51,790
You think I haven't looked
at myself before, no?!
1152
01:27:51,824 --> 01:27:53,835
Yeah well, you'd want to take
a good look at yourself now,
1153
01:27:53,859 --> 01:27:56,495
I swear you had me up to there,
it's your bleedin' fault!
1154
01:27:56,529 --> 01:27:57,772
My ears are ringing,
will you shut...
1155
01:27:57,796 --> 01:27:59,732
I'll tell ya
I'll pull the ears off you!
1156
01:27:59,765 --> 01:28:01,333
- I'm sure you will!
- I will!
1157
01:28:01,367 --> 01:28:01,967
Will you stop fighting?!
1158
01:28:02,001 --> 01:28:02,768
Ever since you were five,
1159
01:28:02,801 --> 01:28:05,069
you were a waste
of bleedin' space!
1160
01:28:05,103 --> 01:28:07,071
Very fuckin' nice, ma.
Thank you.
1161
01:28:07,105 --> 01:28:08,474
A bloody waste of space!
1162
01:28:08,507 --> 01:28:10,376
It's no wonder
I'm on the tablets!
1163
01:28:10,409 --> 01:28:12,076
Enough!
1164
01:28:12,210 --> 01:28:14,380
Will you both just stop!
1165
01:28:15,581 --> 01:28:17,081
Do you have any idea
what it's like
1166
01:28:17,115 --> 01:28:18,651
to be in the middle of this?
1167
01:28:19,852 --> 01:28:22,354
Ma, stop calling him a waster.
1168
01:28:22,388 --> 01:28:25,391
- There ya go.
- Deco, have some respect.
1169
01:28:25,724 --> 01:28:27,493
Do you honestly think
this is the right time
1170
01:28:27,526 --> 01:28:30,161
- to be having this conversation?
- Yeah, I do.
1171
01:28:30,194 --> 01:28:32,274
And we're taking it in turns
cooking breakfast from now on...
1172
01:28:32,298 --> 01:28:34,500
Ah no, no,
I love your breakfast.
1173
01:28:34,533 --> 01:28:35,501
I always burn the breakfast,
1174
01:28:35,534 --> 01:28:37,144
like do you want to eat
your breakfast like...
1175
01:28:37,168 --> 01:28:38,704
It's something
you'll have to work on.
1176
01:28:38,737 --> 01:28:42,073
And deco, if you Rob from my
store again, I'm reporting you.
1177
01:28:42,541 --> 01:28:45,477
And I'm taking my room back.
Every inch of it.
1178
01:28:47,646 --> 01:28:48,781
Now shake hands.
1179
01:28:52,451 --> 01:28:53,586
Come on!
1180
01:29:04,897 --> 01:29:06,665
Okay, now I think we should run.
1181
01:29:07,399 --> 01:29:08,534
Oh.
1182
01:29:14,640 --> 01:29:16,442
Oh, oh god!
1183
01:29:19,645 --> 01:29:20,822
Go up the top, there's an exit!
1184
01:29:20,846 --> 01:29:23,749
- Are you sure you'll be okay?!
- I'll stay and help deco!
1185
01:29:23,782 --> 01:29:26,250
Right, I'll get home so,
I'll stick you a fry on!
1186
01:29:26,285 --> 01:29:27,553
I'll say a prayer for you!
1187
01:29:27,586 --> 01:29:30,789
- Need more than a prayer!
- Let's go, let's go!
1188
01:29:32,591 --> 01:29:34,158
Come in and close it!
1189
01:29:38,297 --> 01:29:39,732
Yeah!
1190
01:29:40,866 --> 01:29:42,233
Deco!
1191
01:29:42,935 --> 01:29:45,236
Agh, me face!
1192
01:29:50,776 --> 01:29:52,745
What are you doing?!
1193
01:30:19,538 --> 01:30:21,707
I thought I recognized
that fat head!
1194
01:30:21,740 --> 01:30:23,207
Oh yeah?
1195
01:30:27,913 --> 01:30:29,381
Get away from him!
1196
01:30:36,655 --> 01:30:37,890
Deco?
1197
01:30:41,360 --> 01:30:42,594
Deco?!
1198
01:30:46,665 --> 01:30:48,467
You're a disgrace!
1199
01:30:48,500 --> 01:30:50,469
Betraying your own kind.
1200
01:31:21,867 --> 01:31:25,838
What a pathetic little
pint-sized weed you are.
1201
01:31:25,871 --> 01:31:28,340
You're gonna be a great
little helper for us!
1202
01:31:28,507 --> 01:31:30,409
Like Henry, you're nothing!
1203
01:31:30,509 --> 01:31:33,212
He doesn't have
a patch on me, son.
1204
01:31:33,445 --> 01:31:35,714
Go on, are you gonna cry
to your mammy now?
1205
01:31:35,748 --> 01:31:37,316
- No!
- That's right.
1206
01:31:37,349 --> 01:31:39,351
'Cause I'm gonna drink her blood
1207
01:31:39,384 --> 01:31:42,654
right after I drink yours!
1208
01:31:47,392 --> 01:31:50,295
It's garlic! It burns!
1209
01:31:54,767 --> 01:31:55,934
Yeah?
1210
01:31:56,635 --> 01:31:57,770
Do it!
1211
01:32:22,594 --> 01:32:24,062
Go over there, go over there.
1212
01:32:29,535 --> 01:32:30,836
Any way out?!
1213
01:32:31,603 --> 01:32:32,604
No.
1214
01:32:33,105 --> 01:32:34,306
We're trapped.
1215
01:32:36,575 --> 01:32:38,544
I'm sorry for being
a crap brother.
1216
01:32:39,211 --> 01:32:41,446
You weren't much
of a vampire, either.
1217
01:33:08,507 --> 01:33:09,675
You done it!
1218
01:33:09,975 --> 01:33:12,945
Oh my god, you done it, deco!
1219
01:33:12,978 --> 01:33:15,948
- I bleedin' done it!
- I knew you could, I said it.
1220
01:33:23,188 --> 01:33:24,690
Ah, fuck.
1221
01:33:30,629 --> 01:33:32,564
- Woo!
- Holy god.
1222
01:33:32,598 --> 01:33:34,433
It's like ma's breakfast,
ya know!
1223
01:33:34,466 --> 01:33:36,568
Like an action movie.
1224
01:33:41,673 --> 01:33:45,611
- I finally got me wings!
- Unbelievable!
1225
01:33:45,644 --> 01:33:47,713
You're a hefty bastard!
1226
01:33:47,980 --> 01:33:49,548
It's all muscle.
1227
01:33:50,549 --> 01:33:51,950
Say hello, Matt.
1228
01:33:51,984 --> 01:33:53,685
Hello!
1229
01:33:54,653 --> 01:33:57,556
You'd hate to be walking though,
wouldn't you?
1230
01:33:59,091 --> 01:34:01,526
Ready to go for a dip, watch it!
1231
01:34:05,063 --> 01:34:07,866
- Watch out for the bridge!
- No really, watch out for it.
1232
01:34:07,900 --> 01:34:09,635
Whoa!
1233
01:34:10,769 --> 01:34:13,438
Whoa, just about.
1234
01:34:13,605 --> 01:34:15,607
You done the bleedin' splits!
1235
01:34:15,841 --> 01:34:17,809
Nearly took the balls off me.
1236
01:34:21,013 --> 01:34:23,048
Right come on,
take us home there.
1237
01:34:23,081 --> 01:34:25,617
Here we go, sharp turn.
1238
01:34:32,691 --> 01:34:33,892
Down we go.
1239
01:34:34,327 --> 01:34:36,962
Thank you for flying
with deco airlines.
1240
01:34:37,363 --> 01:34:39,531
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
1241
01:34:40,866 --> 01:34:42,467
I told ya you could do it, deco,
1242
01:34:42,501 --> 01:34:44,603
you'd get a clap for that
landing, wouldn't you?
1243
01:34:44,636 --> 01:34:47,072
I told ya you could do it,
you were farting all day!
1244
01:34:47,105 --> 01:34:49,007
I nearly bleedin' hurt me hole
in the spire!
1245
01:34:49,041 --> 01:34:51,543
I know, did you see me dodge
the bridge doing the splits?
1246
01:34:51,576 --> 01:34:53,612
I thought you were a goner!
1247
01:34:53,712 --> 01:34:55,480
Oh my god...
1248
01:34:57,182 --> 01:34:59,484
You're me best mate, deco,
what are you?
1249
01:35:00,719 --> 01:35:02,120
Your best mate.
1250
01:35:03,722 --> 01:35:06,692
Oh my god,
thank god you're back!
1251
01:35:06,992 --> 01:35:09,027
- Are you okay?
- Oh yes, I'm okay!
1252
01:35:09,262 --> 01:35:10,862
- Are you okay?
- I'm all good, yeah.
1253
01:35:10,896 --> 01:35:12,564
Aw, good.
1254
01:35:13,031 --> 01:35:14,533
Deco...
1255
01:35:20,906 --> 01:35:22,841
Do you want to come in?
1256
01:35:26,211 --> 01:35:27,813
Yeah.
1257
01:35:28,880 --> 01:35:30,716
Only for a cup of tea now.
1258
01:35:32,017 --> 01:35:33,618
Uh-uh.
1259
01:36:42,821 --> 01:36:44,089
Deco?
1260
01:36:44,257 --> 01:36:46,359
Ah, how are ya pal?
Can you hear me?
1261
01:36:46,392 --> 01:36:47,959
Yeah, I can year ya.
1262
01:36:47,993 --> 01:36:50,695
- How are ya gettin' on?
- Grand yeah, you?
1263
01:36:50,729 --> 01:36:51,939
Ah well, to be honest with you,
1264
01:36:51,963 --> 01:36:53,065
I wanted to ask ya...
1265
01:36:53,098 --> 01:36:56,134
I'm after gettin' me
new coffin, look.
1266
01:36:57,736 --> 01:37:00,705
- Jaysus, yeah.
- Size of the bleedin' thing!
1267
01:37:00,739 --> 01:37:03,141
I fit in it though,
I've already lied down on it.
1268
01:37:03,241 --> 01:37:05,644
Yeah, I've been sleeping
in the wardrobe,
1269
01:37:05,677 --> 01:37:07,145
one on of the hangers.
1270
01:37:07,380 --> 01:37:10,082
Come here, this is all in
a different language,
1271
01:37:10,115 --> 01:37:11,683
I don't understand shite.
1272
01:37:11,716 --> 01:37:13,652
It has to have an English
version on it.
1273
01:37:13,685 --> 01:37:15,388
That's the one
I don't understand.
1274
01:37:15,421 --> 01:37:17,889
It's just pictures,
usually that's better for me...
1275
01:37:17,923 --> 01:37:19,691
Yeah, show us the pictures.
1276
01:37:20,125 --> 01:37:21,793
We'll work it out from that.
1277
01:37:23,329 --> 01:37:25,398
- Can you see that?
- Yeah, so see the way they have
1278
01:37:25,431 --> 01:37:27,833
labels on them;
One, two, three, four...
1279
01:37:27,866 --> 01:37:30,369
- Five, six, seven, eight.
-
That's it!
1280
01:37:30,403 --> 01:37:31,937
How's you anyway, how's things?
1281
01:37:31,970 --> 01:37:33,972
Here, what's the story
with this coffin?
1282
01:37:34,005 --> 01:37:35,384
Doesn't look like
you've done anything.
1283
01:37:35,408 --> 01:37:36,342
Have you just been soddin'
around here
1284
01:37:36,375 --> 01:37:39,111
- playing with yourself?
- No, I'm talking to...
1285
01:37:39,144 --> 01:37:42,714
- Alright! Alright, Natalie?
- Oh my god! Heya, Matt!
1286
01:37:42,747 --> 01:37:44,383
- What's the story?
- What's the story?
1287
01:37:44,417 --> 01:37:45,884
Oh my god, you're lookin' well.
1288
01:37:45,917 --> 01:37:48,019
This is a great reunion deco,
isn't it?
1289
01:37:48,053 --> 01:37:48,954
Yeah, yeah.
1290
01:37:48,987 --> 01:37:50,989
Here, look me neck,
you little bastard.
1291
01:37:51,022 --> 01:37:52,090
Aw, stop.
1292
01:37:52,124 --> 01:37:54,793
Oh my god,
it's actually killing me.
1293
01:37:54,826 --> 01:37:57,396
I'm surprised to see you here
Natalie, you know that?
1294
01:37:57,430 --> 01:37:59,998
Here look, we better go anyways.
1295
01:38:00,031 --> 01:38:02,834
So, good chatting to you Matt...
1296
01:38:02,868 --> 01:38:04,936
I'll see you soon deco, yeah?
1297
01:38:04,970 --> 01:38:07,239
I'll take a photo in the
coffin when it's done, yeah?
1298
01:38:07,273 --> 01:38:08,907
Yeah, do, yeah.
1299
01:38:11,042 --> 01:38:13,312
Alright go on, take it easy pal,
love you brother.
1300
01:38:13,346 --> 01:38:14,413
See ya!
87720