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1
00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:53,200
Thou, who dwelleth beneath our feet,
2
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:57,480
raise thyself from thy evil seat.
3
00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:18,160
O Evil One, in whom we trust...
4
00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:22,680
come forth now from out the dust.
5
00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:36,440
Upon thy countenance we wish to gaze.
6
00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:41,880
From hell to earth we wish to raise.
7
00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:47,320
O Ahriman, hear this knell.
8
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:53,480
Come forth now, O Prince of Hell!
9
00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:04,440
The time is nigh,
10
00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:08,920
so draw thee near.
11
00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:13,320
From the bowels of Hades
12
00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:16,720
now appear.
13
00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:28,440
In whose name blood must be shed...
14
00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:33,520
arise, O Ahriman,
15
00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:35,200
lord of the--
16
00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:41,440
Surprise!
17
00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:29,880
It's the last time
they're gonna picnic on our patch.
18
00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:41,720
All right.
19
00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:44,760
Let's go.
20
00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,800
You advertised
a slightly damaged commando.
21
00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:57,640
- You still got it?
- Yeah.
22
00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:00,040
I got a lot of people
interested in that one.
23
00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:02,800
It's round back if you want a butcher's.
Have to make your mind up quick though.
24
00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:06,000
I've got a bloke coming back
this afternoon who's more than interested.
25
00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:08,040
So, what's the damage?
26
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:11,120
To you? One and a half grand.
27
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:13,800
No. I mean what's wrong with it?
28
00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:16,960
Oh, not much.
A bit of damage to the tank. That's all.
29
00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:20,360
Otherwise, one careful owner...
now deceased.
30
00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:23,640
Low mileage, full service history, taxed.
31
00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:25,520
Usual stuff.
32
00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:27,200
There she is.
33
00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:29,480
Yeah.
34
00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:31,720
It's got a bloody great hole in it.
35
00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:34,160
Like I said, a bit of damage to the tank.
36
00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:37,560
Probably a stone on the motorway.
You know what these roadworks are like.
37
00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:40,040
Otherwise, she's in concourse condition.
38
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:43,240
- Looks like a lot of work to me.
- No. It's not as bad as it looks.
39
00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:45,160
How much you say it was?
40
00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:47,760
To you? One and a half grand.
41
00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:50,440
One and a half grand's a bit heavy
for a crashed bike.
42
00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:52,600
No, the bike's not been crashed.
43
00:08:52,680 --> 00:08:54,560
The last owner didn't die on it.
44
00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:57,000
Had an accident... with a crossbow.
45
00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:59,040
What's all this stuff
on the engine block then?
46
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:00,360
Don't know.
47
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,320
Looks like HP Sauce to me.
48
00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:05,360
All right. I'll give you a grand for it.
49
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:06,200
Leave it out!
50
00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:09,440
I had to pay more than that for it.
No. 1,500's the asking price.
51
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,720
-1,100 cash.
- Done.
52
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:15,400
Oh. Right, well, I'll pick it up tonight.
Six o'clock then.
53
00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:17,000
Right you are then, my son.
54
00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:20,200
- What did you say your name was?
- Oddie. Nick Oddie.
55
00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:22,920
Me friends call me Noddy.
56
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:26,000
Sorry. where's that to go?
57
00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:28,520
Right. we'll send somebody over to you
right away.
58
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:32,040
- Did you get it then?
- Yeah.
59
00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:34,680
Clive! Sorry to disturb you.
60
00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:37,320
Gotta pick it up at 6:00. I'll have
to ask Buzzer if I can borrow the van.
61
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:40,360
- Why? can't you ride it?
- It needs a bit of work doing to it.
62
00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:42,600
Oh, God.
I hope you didn't pay a fortune for it.
63
00:09:42,680 --> 00:09:43,960
Hello. warhead Dispatch.
64
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:45,200
600 quid.
65
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:47,000
How much?
66
00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:12,360
All right.
67
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:17,600
Watch your feet.
68
00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:19,760
Come on now.
69
00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:25,000
- I'll go and tell Kim we're back.
- All right.
70
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:46,720
Here we are. There it is.
71
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,400
- What d'you think?
- It's not bad, not bad at all.
72
00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:52,120
Fancy that Hoxton's job
in between your legs, do you, Kim? Hey?
73
00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:54,000
Piss off, Buzzer.
74
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,120
- It's got no petrol cap.
- Hey?
75
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,160
- I'm sure it had when we picked it up.
- No, it didn't.
76
00:10:58,240 --> 00:10:59,800
It never had. No. Never had one.
77
00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:02,640
Give us a hand to get it in the workshop.
we'll get started on it straightaway.
78
00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:07,040
- Here you are.
- Oh, ta.
79
00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:10,400
- Here you go.
- Thanks, Kim.
80
00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:13,880
- How's it going?
-well, it still needs a new tank.
81
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:17,120
But we should be able to get it to turn
over with what's left in the fuel line.
82
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:19,200
- Come on. Let's hear it runnin' then.
- Yeah.
83
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:21,960
Right.
84
00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:32,520
Very impressive.
85
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:35,520
- You sure you got enough fuel in there?
- Yeah. There's definitely some.
86
00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:37,480
Maybe you got a blockage in the pipe,
or something.
87
00:11:37,560 --> 00:11:38,400
Yeah.
88
00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:41,160
I mean, didn't you try
and start it up in the shop?
89
00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:42,320
No, not really.
90
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:45,320
Oh, God, Noddy.
Sometimes you're a complete plonker!
91
00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:48,160
Look, there's nothing wrong
with this bike. It was a real bargain.
92
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:51,840
Oh, yeah. You parted with 600 quid
for a bike that won't start.
93
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,000
- How much?
- I had to knock him down a bit.
94
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:55,360
What, with a sledgehammer?
95
00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:57,240
All right, Einstein.
Never mind about the price.
96
00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:59,080
If you're so bloody clever,
you get it started.
97
00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:01,440
All right, all right, don't have a go at me or nothin'.
I'll get it started all right.
98
00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:03,240
It's almost there now.
99
00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:13,200
I can see the problem.
I think I can fix it.
100
00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:19,240
Bollocks!
101
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:23,640
Got cut.
102
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:26,720
- Are you all right?
- Yeah. I'll live.
103
00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:29,920
Come on then, Noddy. Kick it over.
104
00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:39,040
Yeah! See? I told you it was all right.
105
00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:42,120
Yeah, well, it may sound all right,
but does it actually go?
106
00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:44,480
You can never bloody satisfy her.
107
00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:46,160
I wouldn't mind havin' a go.
108
00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:05,920
Good morning.
109
00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:14,520
What's big, hard, and hairy
110
00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:16,640
and stickin' out my pajamas?
111
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:18,800
Your head.
112
00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:20,760
You fancy a Donald?
113
00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:22,160
No.
114
00:13:24,560 --> 00:13:25,760
All right.
115
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,440
How about a nice cup of tea?
116
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,800
- That'd be nice.
- Good.
117
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:35,000
Make me one while you're at it, will you?
118
00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:51,840
Oh, look. Here's the petrol cap.
119
00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:53,560
I knew there was one.
120
00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:55,400
Buzzer probably took it for a joke.
121
00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:11,680
All right, all right! I'm comin'.
122
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:15,200
Hello. warhead Dispatch. can I help you?
123
00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:17,920
What?
124
00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:20,400
Who?
125
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:21,880
Oh, you mean Buzzer.
126
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,240
- He's not been into any trouble, has he?
-who is it?
127
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,120
What kind of an accident?
128
00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:34,600
Right. we'll send someone over right away.
129
00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:37,760
- What's all that about?
- It's Buzzer.
130
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:39,840
He's had some sort of an accident.
131
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,600
- Not hurt, is he?
- They didn't really say.
132
00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:44,760
They want someone over at his house now.
133
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:47,360
Oh, right. well, here, I'll go.
134
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:50,640
- And you look after the phones, okay?
- All right.
135
00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:52,120
Oh, fuck.
136
00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:18,120
- Sorry.
-watch it.
137
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,160
I'm sorry, sir. You can't go in there.
138
00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:30,080
No, I've had the phone call.
I work for warhead Dispatch.
139
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:31,360
Oh, I see.
140
00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:33,560
If you'll just wait here, sir.
141
00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:35,640
I'll have a word with the inspector.
142
00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:38,640
Excuse me, Mrs. Bancroft.
143
00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:41,240
Hi, Mrs. Bancroft.
144
00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:43,320
Oh, hello, Noddy.
145
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,000
What's happening here then?
146
00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:48,840
A terrible noise woke us up
in the middle of the night.
147
00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:50,400
I didn't bother about it, though,
148
00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:53,200
because I thought he was watching
one of his video nasties.
149
00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:54,480
Eh, Bert?
150
00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:57,160
But when I come down this morning
to get me milk,
151
00:15:57,240 --> 00:16:00,080
I saw that his door was all smashed in.
152
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:03,000
- God.
-well, I said, "That's a bit odd."
153
00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:04,800
So I called the Old Bill.
154
00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:09,760
If you'll come this way, sir.
The inspector will see you now.
155
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,080
Holy shit!
156
00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:45,840
What the fuck's happened here?
157
00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:47,160
Warhead Dispatch?
158
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,480
Yeah.
159
00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:51,360
I'm Inspector cleaver.
160
00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:54,080
Are you friends with Mr. Frazer?
161
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:57,600
Yeah. why? what's happened to him?
162
00:16:57,680 --> 00:16:59,480
I'm afraid he's dead.
163
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:03,360
We're gonna need you to identify the body.
164
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:05,000
What?
165
00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:06,760
Well, how did he die?
166
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,240
We don't know yet.
167
00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:10,760
You gonna have a look, or not?
168
00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:13,160
Yeah, I'll have a butcher's... cleaver.
169
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,280
Very funny. what's your name then?
170
00:17:16,360 --> 00:17:18,440
Oddie. Nick Oddie.
171
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:20,080
Oddie.
172
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,560
Right. come on then. Down here.
173
00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:24,640
That?
174
00:17:27,120 --> 00:17:28,720
I have to tell you...
175
00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:31,440
it's not very pleasant.
176
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:46,360
That's Buzzer, all right.
177
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,160
I'd know his head anywhere.
178
00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:51,760
Is that the rest of him?
179
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:56,360
Well,
we do think there's a high probability.
180
00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:01,720
So, Mr. Oddie,
when did you last see the deceased?
181
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:05,960
Last night. He was round my house
helping me fix my new bike.
182
00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:07,760
What time did he leave?
183
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:10,800
I don't know. About half past 10:00.
184
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:12,680
How did he seem then?
185
00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:15,680
A lot better than he is now.
186
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:19,120
Not like old Buzzer to go to pieces.
187
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,600
Did he have many enemies?
188
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:34,120
Yeah. Anyone who drove a taxi.
189
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:35,800
Owe money to anyone?
190
00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:40,360
- Only the Inland Revenue.
- Right.
191
00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:42,640
Well,
no doubt we'll have to talk to you again.
192
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:47,360
- You gonna be okay?
- Yeah. Yeah, I'll live.
193
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:49,640
Which is more than I can say
for poor old Buzzer.
194
00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:51,920
- What's that smell?
-what smell?
195
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,000
I don't know. Smells like garlic.
196
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:56,080
What's the matter? Don't you like garlic?
197
00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,200
Yeah.
198
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,560
Fuckin' hell.
199
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:38,880
- Here you go.
- Ta.
200
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:42,600
Does that tank look straight to you?
201
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:44,360
Hang on.
202
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:03,040
Noddy.
203
00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:04,560
What's the matter?
D'you want me to move 'em?
204
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:05,920
Yes, please.
205
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,760
Oh, very funny. Get off.
206
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:10,840
Well, is the tank straight or not?
207
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:12,640
Looks all right to me.
208
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,160
- How do you think it happened?
-what?
209
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:17,960
You know. Buzzer.
210
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:19,880
Well, I think he probably died
211
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:22,120
'cause somebody cut his head off.
212
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,440
Aren't you upset at all?
213
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:26,240
Not half as much as he is.
214
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:29,440
Well, whoever did it
must have been bloody strong.
215
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,400
Completely demolished the front door.
216
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,120
I think it's horrible.
217
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,520
I don't know how you can go on
working so calmly.
218
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,480
Well, I'm not, 'cause I've finished now.
219
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:39,560
Pass us that petrol can, will you?
220
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:41,800
Yeah.
221
00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:49,080
Here you go.
222
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:50,160
Ta.
223
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:53,840
Gonna take it for a spin in a minute.
You fancy coming?
224
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,000
No. No, I'm not in the mood.
225
00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:58,400
Suit yourself.
226
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:03,080
Noddy.
227
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:04,160
Shit.
228
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:07,160
Here.
229
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,640
I'll take these.
Make sure she doesn't stall.
230
00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:19,520
Just gonna go and fetch me helmet.
231
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:12,560
Changed your mind?
232
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:13,360
No.
233
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:15,920
No. I was just givin' it a rev.
234
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:23,640
I'll be back.
235
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:50,840
Oh, shit!
236
00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:19,720
Right!
237
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:22,440
I'm gonna have his nuts for earrings.
238
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:29,480
What's the matter?
239
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:31,360
I just nearly ran these Hell's Angels
off the road.
240
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:34,360
It's like the bike was out of control.
It's like it had a mind of its own.
241
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:36,840
- You were probably going too fast.
- No.
242
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:40,000
It was really weird.
I'll have to check the steering tomorrow.
243
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:41,840
- Do you want a coffee?
- No.
244
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:44,400
I'll have something stronger.
245
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:47,680
Noddy,
you shouldn't drink that stuff neat.
246
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:53,320
That's the only way to drink it.
247
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:55,480
- Do you want some?
- No, thanks.
248
00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:58,800
Noddy!
249
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:00,320
- What?
- Me hair.
250
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:03,200
- I just want a joint.
- Oh, brilliant.
251
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:08,160
You're gonna be great company tonight.
252
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:10,920
Give us a break, will you?
253
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:17,880
- Get that, will you?
-christ.
254
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:19,880
What did your last slave die of?
255
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:21,040
Opening doors.
256
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:23,240
- What?
- Nothing.
257
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:30,920
Sorry to call so late.
Inspector cleaver of the Yard.
258
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:33,120
- I'd like to have a word...
- Oh, shit.
259
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:38,080
Noddy, Inspector cleaver to see you.
260
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:39,840
Good evening, Mr. Oddie.
261
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:43,400
I do hope I haven't called
at an inconvenient moment.
262
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:45,600
Just want to clear up a couple of things.
263
00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:48,480
Yeah. Anything you like.
would you like to sit down?
264
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:52,440
When the deceased left you
the other night-- Mr. Frazer, your friend,
265
00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:54,120
did he say he were going straight home?
266
00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:54,880
Yeah.
267
00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:56,560
And after he left you--
268
00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:01,720
After he left you, what did you do
between 10: 30 and midnight?
269
00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:03,600
We were both here.
270
00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:06,160
- Any witnesses?
- No.
271
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:07,880
No witnesses?
272
00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:09,920
Not much of an alibi, is it?
273
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,360
Well, you don't think it was us, do you?
274
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:14,640
Noddy, what's that smell?
275
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:16,720
It smells like garlic.
276
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:18,240
I'm sorry, miss?
277
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:21,120
Oh, there's a really awful smell around.
278
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:22,920
I can't smell anything.
279
00:26:24,360 --> 00:26:26,800
No. It seems to have gone now.
280
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:28,240
Good.
281
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:29,760
Right. well, that'll be all.
282
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:31,960
I brought you this.
It belonged to Mr. Frazer.
283
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:34,360
I thought you might like it
as a "momento."
284
00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:36,320
Oh, thank you.
285
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:37,800
Thank you very much.
286
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:43,120
Hello, Noddy.
287
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:49,840
What's the matter?
288
00:26:54,120 --> 00:26:55,720
It's just a bad dream.
289
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:59,960
It's nothin'. Go back to sleep.
290
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:11,080
Noddy? Noddy?
291
00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:16,000
It's me, Noddy. Look.
292
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:19,760
Noddy? Noddy. Here I am.
293
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:27,080
Hello, Noddy.
294
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:34,840
Hello, Noddy.
295
00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:36,320
How are ya, mate?
296
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:40,240
Noddy. Noddy!
297
00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:41,520
Noddy!
298
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:47,200
It's me, Noddy.
299
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:51,560
...tissues.
Don't want you crying and embarrassing me.
300
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:52,680
Shut up.
301
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:54,160
Shit!
302
00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:56,080
- It's gone.
-what?
303
00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:58,240
Damn it! I knew I shouldn't have
left it in the street.
304
00:28:58,320 --> 00:28:59,800
Are you sure
you didn't put it in the shed?
305
00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:01,280
Of course I'm sure.
306
00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:03,080
We'll have to find the police.
307
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:05,320
Damn it! I put it right there.
308
00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:09,280
Noddy.
309
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:15,400
Hey? I'm sure I left it there.
310
00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:17,480
Oh, come on. Get a move on.
311
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:22,560
What's that?
312
00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:24,040
It looks like blood.
313
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:29,360
No. Must be mud.
314
00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:31,840
Are you sure you didn't hit
any of those bikers the other night?
315
00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:34,080
- Sure I'm sure.
-well, did you stop?
316
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:36,200
No. Don't be stupid.
317
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:39,000
Come on. You'll have to clean up later.
we're gonna miss the funeral.
318
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:40,680
All right.
319
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:05,920
Bloody thing! I'll have to fix it.
320
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:08,280
Fix it when we get back. we're late.
321
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:10,520
- Let's take the other one.
-we'll have to.
322
00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:56,360
This is a disgrace.
323
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,440
Why couldn't they get a proper hearse
for Buzzer?
324
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:00,520
He wouldn't be seen dead in one of them.
325
00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:08,720
Oh, hey, try some of that, you!
326
00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:17,600
You bastard--
327
00:31:19,640 --> 00:31:21,040
Oh, shit.
328
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:38,640
Why don't you watch where you're goin'?
329
00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:41,960
Bloody hooligans!
330
00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:48,360
"...earth to earth, ashes to ashes,
331
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:50,880
dust to dust.
332
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:55,600
In the name of the Father, the Son,
and Holy Ghost.
333
00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:56,880
Amen."
334
00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:11,280
Poor Buzzer.
335
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:14,040
Won't seem the same without him.
336
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:17,200
Come on, let's get out of here.
Graveyards give me the creeps.
337
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:33,640
Oh, for christ's sake.
338
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:35,960
Right.
339
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:49,680
Right, you bastard.
340
00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:54,120
This time you start, or you die.
341
00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:55,200
Okay?
342
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:02,880
Yeah!
343
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:07,320
Is it fixed?
344
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:11,120
Yeah! Get your lid. It's time for a bevvy.
345
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:13,160
Right.
346
00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:37,680
Cor. Something smells.
347
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:39,640
- I just farted.
- Noddy.
348
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:42,400
- What are you havin'?
-vodka tonic.
349
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:44,520
- Large one.
- Large one. Yeah.
350
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:47,080
Here. Hold that. And get the pool table.
351
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:50,120
Evenin'.
352
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:52,800
Good evening. what'll it be?
353
00:33:52,880 --> 00:33:55,240
Large vodka tonic, pint of cider, please.
354
00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:25,440
What's this heap of shit?
355
00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:28,720
Hang about.
356
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:40,000
This looks like the bike
that ran us off the road.
357
00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:43,360
Do you think the geezer's inside then?
358
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:44,680
No.
359
00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:47,520
I expect the bike drove itself here.
360
00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:50,560
What do you think, shit-wits?
361
00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:55,360
And a pint of cider.
362
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:01,760
Thanks.
363
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:03,240
Thank you, sir.
364
00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:07,920
I told you before.
Don't bring that thing in here.
365
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:12,000
Sorry about that.
366
00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:14,080
It just went off in my hand.
367
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:18,200
Ten pints of lager and a packet of crisps,
please.
368
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:19,480
Okay.
369
00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:23,080
But just behave yourselves.
370
00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:25,360
Do we look like the sort of blokes
who'd cause trouble?
371
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:31,200
Oi! You!
372
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:36,960
Yeah. I'm talking to you, ugly.
373
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:42,440
Is that your antique parked outside?
374
00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:44,280
What if it is?
375
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:46,920
Well, if it is,
we got a little score to settle with you.
376
00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:53,600
Let me explain.
377
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:07,120
The other night, we were riding along
minding our own business--
378
00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:09,680
when all of a sudden,
379
00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:13,880
some asshole drove straight into us,
forcing us off the road.
380
00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:15,480
Uh-huh.
381
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:18,520
And we think that asshole...
382
00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:21,200
was you.
383
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:24,880
Uh-huh.
384
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:28,080
And because we take
extra-special care of our bikes,
385
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:30,800
we get rather annoyed
if anyone messes 'em up.
386
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:38,480
So that's the way it is.
387
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:43,280
Any last request?
388
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:46,920
Hello, darling.
389
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:51,920
Do you want to see my chopper?
390
00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:57,520
I haven't brought me magnifying glass.
391
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:01,480
Oh, you won't-- you won't need that.
392
00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:03,720
Have a look at this.
393
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:10,720
Sweet dreams, shithead!
394
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:12,680
Right!
395
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:14,680
You're dead!
396
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:16,480
No!
397
00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:40,000
Get the bike!
398
00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:44,800
Oh, shit.
399
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:35,600
I thought I told you to get the bike.
400
00:38:49,720 --> 00:38:50,960
Sorry?
401
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:10,760
Who ordered a packet of crisps?
402
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:28,560
And now,
403
00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:30,680
it's death time!
404
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:41,280
Right.
405
00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:43,800
Actually, it's escape time.
406
00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:05,800
Noddy! come on!
407
00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:07,880
Get us out of here. warp factor eight!
408
00:40:20,720 --> 00:40:22,320
That taught him a lesson.
409
00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:26,400
No?
410
00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:44,960
- What d'you want?
- Spring roll and chips.
411
00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:46,840
- Right. wait there. I won't be long.
- Okay.
412
00:40:57,440 --> 00:40:58,920
One 31...
413
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:03,120
and one 62, please.
414
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:09,360
Thirty-one and sixty--
415
00:41:10,440 --> 00:41:12,800
Spring roll and chips.
416
00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:14,600
Noddy.
417
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:17,480
Get us some garlic prawns.
418
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:18,600
What?
419
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:20,760
Garlic prawns.
420
00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:21,680
Yeah, all right.
421
00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:24,680
Make sure it's got loads of garlic.
422
00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:26,040
Yeah.
423
00:41:26,120 --> 00:41:28,400
And a portion of garlic prawns.
424
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:32,080
Please.
425
00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:35,080
Noddy! Help!
426
00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:36,560
Noddy, help!
427
00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:37,880
Jesus!
428
00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:40,680
Oh, God!
429
00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:42,680
Help!
430
00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:01,360
Where's that bloody tart gone
with me bike?
431
00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:10,400
Who the hell was that?
432
00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:14,680
I'll go and see.
433
00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:16,920
Don't be too long.
434
00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:19,800
It's your round.
435
00:43:27,320 --> 00:43:28,720
Who is it?
436
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:33,120
My bike.
437
00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:41,840
Okay, asshole.
438
00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:45,040
So you've come back for more.
439
00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:46,800
So where are ya then? come on!
440
00:43:46,880 --> 00:43:48,120
Where are ya?
441
00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:50,720
Come on, chickenshit!
442
00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:53,560
Come out and play!
443
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:56,400
Okay, dipstick.
444
00:43:56,480 --> 00:44:01,680
I'm gonna take your poxy
little hair-dryer for a test drive.
445
00:44:18,120 --> 00:44:20,840
Chopper!
446
00:44:22,880 --> 00:44:25,800
Yeah! That way!
447
00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:33,160
Come on!
448
00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:40,640
Shit!
449
00:44:40,720 --> 00:44:43,720
Fuckin' hell!
450
00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:50,440
Man.
451
00:44:51,160 --> 00:44:53,600
This is gonna be a masterpiece.
452
00:44:56,120 --> 00:44:57,240
Yeah.
453
00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:00,920
But I think it needs more red
in the middle.
454
00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:18,440
Hello. Clive?
455
00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:19,720
Yeah, it's Noddy.
456
00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:22,240
Yeah, I know it's late.
457
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:24,960
Listen, you haven't seen Kim, have you,
over your way?
458
00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:27,720
Only she's gone out on my new bike,
and I haven't seen her for ages.
459
00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:30,800
Yeah.
460
00:45:30,880 --> 00:45:32,880
Oh, well. Sorry to bother you, mate.
461
00:45:32,960 --> 00:45:34,600
Yeah, cheers.
462
00:45:50,920 --> 00:45:52,520
What's happened here then?
463
00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:56,600
Where's chopper?
464
00:45:58,480 --> 00:45:59,680
Fuck knows?
465
00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:13,360
Fuckin' hell.
466
00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:39,040
Oh, damn!
467
00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:18,760
Hello?
468
00:48:18,840 --> 00:48:20,000
Yeah?
469
00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:22,480
What?
470
00:48:22,560 --> 00:48:23,800
When?
471
00:48:24,720 --> 00:48:26,160
Is she okay?
472
00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:29,840
Yeah, I'll come right away.
Birmingham Accident Hospital?
473
00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:31,960
Yeah, I know it. cheers.
474
00:48:33,280 --> 00:48:35,240
Stupid bitch!
475
00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:53,520
Hold up. where you taking him?
476
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:55,040
To the hospital morgue.
477
00:48:56,640 --> 00:48:58,040
Where's his head?
478
00:48:58,120 --> 00:48:59,840
Take your pick. They're over there.
479
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:16,880
Nuts.
480
00:49:35,120 --> 00:49:36,400
Yes?
481
00:49:37,120 --> 00:49:40,760
I appear to have something stuck up my...
482
00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:43,440
bottom.
483
00:49:43,880 --> 00:49:45,880
Oh, dear. You'll have to wait a bit.
484
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:47,320
Sit down, please.
485
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:51,240
I'd rather stand.
486
00:49:51,320 --> 00:49:52,960
Hello, Mr. Road Toad.
487
00:49:54,760 --> 00:49:56,320
Who the fuck are you?
488
00:49:56,400 --> 00:49:58,520
I'm Inspector cleaver.
489
00:49:58,600 --> 00:50:00,920
I've just seen the rest of your mob.
490
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:03,000
They look a little run-down.
491
00:50:05,600 --> 00:50:07,520
- Oh, yeah?
- Oh, yeah.
492
00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:10,280
And once you've got your thing removed,
493
00:50:10,360 --> 00:50:13,840
you're going to help us
with our inquiries.
494
00:50:42,840 --> 00:50:44,560
Is there anybody there?
495
00:50:56,080 --> 00:50:58,400
Hello? Is there anybody there?
496
00:51:16,640 --> 00:51:19,480
Now then, Mr. Roach,
497
00:51:20,200 --> 00:51:22,320
let me just recap.
498
00:51:23,320 --> 00:51:25,040
You left the pub.
499
00:51:25,520 --> 00:51:26,480
Yeah.
500
00:51:26,560 --> 00:51:29,800
You got on your bikes
and you rode down the road.
501
00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:30,840
Yeah.
502
00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:33,720
And suddenly, out of the blue,
503
00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:37,560
comes a riderless bike
that knocks you all off.
504
00:51:38,200 --> 00:51:39,200
Yeah.
505
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:41,360
That's it.
506
00:51:49,440 --> 00:51:51,520
Let's try again, shall we?
507
00:51:52,160 --> 00:51:53,840
You left the pub.
508
00:52:00,640 --> 00:52:02,520
So then what happened?
509
00:52:02,600 --> 00:52:04,400
It just kept going faster and faster,
510
00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:06,840
and then it went round a corner
and threw me off.
511
00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:08,120
Where is it now then?
512
00:52:08,200 --> 00:52:11,160
Well, how the hell should I know?
It just drove off.
513
00:52:11,240 --> 00:52:13,280
- What, all by itself?
- Yes.
514
00:52:14,160 --> 00:52:15,720
I think you must be concussed.
515
00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:18,600
How d'you account for the fact
that nobody's found it yet?
516
00:52:18,680 --> 00:52:20,920
After you dropped it,
someone must have gone and nicked it.
517
00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:23,160
I didn't drop it. It dropped me!
518
00:52:23,240 --> 00:52:26,800
I'm tellin' you, Noddy, it's alive.
It tried to kill me.
519
00:52:26,880 --> 00:52:28,800
Hey, don't be daft.
520
00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:33,280
Look, don't you remember? You said
you thought it had a life of its own.
521
00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:35,560
No, I just said there was
something wrong with the steering.
522
00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:38,240
I didn't say anything about it
driving off down the road by itself.
523
00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:40,760
Noddy, you've got to get rid of it.
524
00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:44,200
I can't get rid of it.
I haven't bloody got it.
525
00:52:58,880 --> 00:53:00,080
Evening.
526
00:53:00,160 --> 00:53:03,200
Evening, sir. Been celebrating, have we?
527
00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:06,480
I haven't had a "cont," "Drinkstable."
528
00:53:06,560 --> 00:53:09,960
I see, sir. well, you won't mind
blowing into this then.
529
00:53:10,040 --> 00:53:11,280
Yes.
530
00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:25,200
Oh, shit!
531
00:53:47,120 --> 00:53:49,080
Bloody road hog!
532
00:53:58,000 --> 00:54:00,800
Then you rode down the road.
533
00:54:01,480 --> 00:54:02,280
Yeah.
534
00:54:02,360 --> 00:54:06,880
And this bike with nobody on it
came up and knocked you all off.
535
00:54:11,120 --> 00:54:14,360
Sorry to interrupt you, sir,
but a message has just come through.
536
00:54:14,440 --> 00:54:16,240
Could I have a quick word?
537
00:54:17,760 --> 00:54:19,960
- Don't go away, will you?
- No.
538
00:54:20,040 --> 00:54:23,720
It's all right, Sergeant.
Mr. Roach is just joining us for tea.
539
00:54:33,680 --> 00:54:37,080
It seems that PC Harris died instantly.
540
00:54:37,160 --> 00:54:41,280
And then PC Hollins,
in hot pursuit of the suspect,
541
00:54:41,360 --> 00:54:42,840
ran over a senior citizen.
542
00:54:42,920 --> 00:54:44,240
Oh, God.
543
00:54:44,320 --> 00:54:46,520
Oh, yeah, it's a very nasty business.
544
00:54:46,600 --> 00:54:48,760
Anyway, what kind of evening have you had?
545
00:54:48,840 --> 00:54:51,920
Well, we're not gettin' very far
with this moron in here.
546
00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:54,720
Far more important things to do.
I'll let him go later.
547
00:54:55,560 --> 00:54:57,440
After he's finished his tea.
548
00:55:58,680 --> 00:56:00,200
Planning a holiday this year, sir?
549
00:56:02,640 --> 00:56:05,160
Wife and I are going to Benidorm
again this summer.
550
00:56:05,240 --> 00:56:07,200
We know this really great little campsite.
551
00:56:10,440 --> 00:56:12,280
They do great fish-and-chips.
552
00:56:12,360 --> 00:56:14,840
They have British beer,
and everyone speaks English.
553
00:56:14,920 --> 00:56:17,680
It's got a real Spanish atmosphere.
554
00:56:21,640 --> 00:56:23,000
Cor, is that the time?
555
00:56:23,080 --> 00:56:25,400
Well, how 'bout a nice cup of tea
before you go, eh?
556
00:58:15,280 --> 00:58:16,760
Oh, God!
557
00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:27,760
Holy Mother of God.
558
00:58:28,440 --> 00:58:29,880
What do I do now?
559
00:59:00,760 --> 00:59:01,960
Hello?
560
00:59:02,040 --> 00:59:03,400
Hello!
561
00:59:04,760 --> 00:59:06,080
Anybody here?
562
00:59:08,080 --> 00:59:09,440
Hello!
563
00:59:12,400 --> 00:59:15,160
Oi! Anybody here?
564
00:59:16,240 --> 00:59:19,280
- What's all the noise about?
- I want to see a vicar.
565
00:59:19,360 --> 00:59:21,600
The service doesn't start until 9:00.
566
00:59:22,520 --> 00:59:24,400
I want to see a vicar now.
567
00:59:26,080 --> 00:59:28,480
I think you mean the priest.
568
00:59:29,320 --> 00:59:30,880
Why don't you come back at night?
569
00:59:33,800 --> 00:59:35,440
Let me explain.
570
00:59:35,520 --> 00:59:37,960
I want to see a priest now.
571
00:59:38,040 --> 00:59:39,640
Now means this instant.
572
00:59:40,240 --> 00:59:43,360
Not five minutes, not half an hour,
573
00:59:43,440 --> 00:59:46,280
and definitely not at nine o'clock.
574
00:59:47,240 --> 00:59:48,360
Well--
575
00:59:48,840 --> 00:59:50,960
well, I'll go and get him then, shall I?
576
00:59:51,040 --> 00:59:52,600
Smart move.
577
00:59:57,960 --> 01:00:00,400
Please, please, wait here.
578
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:29,160
He'll-- He'll see you now.
579
01:00:30,160 --> 01:00:31,520
Follow me.
580
01:00:50,920 --> 01:00:52,920
- In there?
- Yes.
581
01:00:54,760 --> 01:00:56,080
Go on.
582
01:01:10,160 --> 01:01:11,920
Is there anybody there?
583
01:01:12,000 --> 01:01:13,600
Yes, my son.
584
01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:16,280
Where are ya?
585
01:01:16,760 --> 01:01:18,600
I'm right here beside you.
586
01:01:24,680 --> 01:01:27,160
Now, what do you want to confess?
587
01:01:27,240 --> 01:01:29,040
Confess?
588
01:01:29,120 --> 01:01:32,400
I haven't done anything wrong...
Your worship.
589
01:01:32,480 --> 01:01:33,760
- Father.
-what?
590
01:01:33,840 --> 01:01:37,440
- You should call me "Father."
- Sorry, Father.
591
01:01:37,520 --> 01:01:39,120
Now what is your confession?
592
01:01:39,200 --> 01:01:42,680
What? You don't understand.
I need your help.
593
01:01:42,760 --> 01:01:45,440
Yes, you need God's forgiveness
for something, perhaps?
594
01:01:45,520 --> 01:01:47,440
No, no, it's not to do with me.
595
01:01:47,520 --> 01:01:49,600
But, my son,
you can't confess to someone else's sins.
596
01:01:49,680 --> 01:01:52,920
Not something to do with someone else
either. It's me motorbike.
597
01:01:53,880 --> 01:01:57,680
- Are you sure it's not a garage you want?
- No, no, Father.
598
01:01:58,240 --> 01:02:00,720
It's turned into a vampire.
599
01:02:02,800 --> 01:02:04,280
Pull the other one.
600
01:02:14,640 --> 01:02:16,800
Look, I'm not accusing you of lying.
601
01:02:17,280 --> 01:02:22,160
But you must realize that demonic
possessions are out of vogue these days.
602
01:02:22,240 --> 01:02:25,320
Where machinery is concerned,
out of the question.
603
01:02:25,400 --> 01:02:29,000
Look.
All I'm asking you to do is take a look.
604
01:02:29,080 --> 01:02:30,240
I've told ya.
605
01:02:30,320 --> 01:02:33,920
I found a tank full of blood
and someone's foot stuck in the headlamp.
606
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:36,600
Are you sure you haven't been dreaming?
607
01:02:36,680 --> 01:02:39,080
Perhaps you've been watching
some of those video horribles.
608
01:02:39,160 --> 01:02:40,640
No, I haven't.
609
01:02:40,720 --> 01:02:43,320
Now are you going to take a look, or what?
610
01:02:43,400 --> 01:02:44,720
Very well.
611
01:02:45,080 --> 01:02:47,400
But I shall have to be back
in time for mass.
612
01:02:54,520 --> 01:02:56,400
Come on then, Father,
I'll give you a lift.
613
01:02:57,120 --> 01:02:59,560
I couldn't possibly get on one of those.
614
01:02:59,640 --> 01:03:00,840
Wait here.
615
01:03:15,520 --> 01:03:17,560
Well, lead on then.
616
01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:21,000
Bloody hell.
617
01:03:49,520 --> 01:03:51,120
It's in there, Father.
618
01:03:51,520 --> 01:03:54,880
Well, let's have a look at this vampire,
shall we?
619
01:04:12,720 --> 01:04:14,920
Well, where's this severed foot then?
620
01:04:15,000 --> 01:04:16,840
- On the floor.
-where?
621
01:04:19,440 --> 01:04:20,640
Well, it was there!
622
01:04:22,120 --> 01:04:23,880
Perhaps it walked off.
623
01:04:26,840 --> 01:04:28,560
I didn't imagine it.
624
01:04:30,680 --> 01:04:33,680
Well, let's see if you imagined the blood
in the petrol tank, shall we?
625
01:04:39,400 --> 01:04:41,280
This is no good. I can't see.
626
01:04:41,360 --> 01:04:43,000
Better wheel it into the light.
627
01:04:43,080 --> 01:04:44,240
Look, be careful--
628
01:04:47,800 --> 01:04:50,960
See? It doesn't want to go into the light.
629
01:04:54,040 --> 01:04:56,600
Rubbish. It's just stuck on something.
630
01:04:58,160 --> 01:04:59,080
Oh, shit!
631
01:05:03,640 --> 01:05:05,480
Jesus christ!
632
01:05:13,360 --> 01:05:15,480
So how do you explain all this, Father?
633
01:05:17,080 --> 01:05:20,240
It's the most unusual case
of demonic possession.
634
01:05:20,640 --> 01:05:23,760
I must say it's the first time I've ever
heard of a machine being possessed.
635
01:05:23,840 --> 01:05:27,640
Well, Father, what can you do about it?
I paid 1,100 quid for that bike.
636
01:05:27,720 --> 01:05:30,160
- What?
-600. I meant-- I mean 600.
637
01:05:30,240 --> 01:05:32,840
I shall have to try
and cast the demon out.
638
01:05:32,920 --> 01:05:35,040
Well, how are you gonna do that?
639
01:05:35,120 --> 01:05:39,960
Well, we know this demon is a vampire,
but unless we know precisely which one,
640
01:05:40,040 --> 01:05:42,720
I shall have to go for the general,
all-purpose exorcism.
641
01:05:43,120 --> 01:05:45,800
- What does that mean?
-well, let me try and explain.
642
01:05:46,600 --> 01:05:51,240
In hell,
there is a hierarchy of demons, devils.
643
01:05:52,240 --> 01:05:54,120
They are divided into legions.
644
01:05:54,200 --> 01:05:57,760
The less important ones
go to make up the infantry, as it were,
645
01:05:57,840 --> 01:06:01,040
and the more powerful ones
act as their commanding officers.
646
01:06:01,720 --> 01:06:03,520
Now if we're dealing
with one of the infantry,
647
01:06:03,600 --> 01:06:06,360
it shouldn't be too hard to cast him out.
648
01:06:06,440 --> 01:06:08,560
What if it's one of the officers?
649
01:06:08,640 --> 01:06:12,240
Well, if it's a demon like Baphomet,
650
01:06:12,320 --> 01:06:13,760
or even worse, Ahriman,
651
01:06:13,840 --> 01:06:17,120
then we could have a problem on our hands.
652
01:06:18,000 --> 01:06:19,360
Why's that?
653
01:06:19,440 --> 01:06:22,840
Well, the more powerful demons
have their own specific exorcism rituals.
654
01:06:23,400 --> 01:06:27,360
Unless you get the words exactly right,
you could end up making things even worse.
655
01:06:27,720 --> 01:06:30,160
Well, let's hope
it's a small one then, eh?
656
01:06:30,240 --> 01:06:31,360
Yes.
657
01:06:31,880 --> 01:06:34,560
Now before we go, I want you to take this.
658
01:06:35,400 --> 01:06:37,520
You must wear it at all times.
659
01:06:38,080 --> 01:06:39,720
I've already got one.
660
01:06:39,800 --> 01:06:41,200
Take it anyway.
661
01:06:41,920 --> 01:06:43,160
We can't be too careful.
662
01:06:43,240 --> 01:06:46,120
I thought you said
you were gonna cast the demon out.
663
01:06:46,200 --> 01:06:49,240
Yes. But if anything should go wrong,
664
01:06:49,320 --> 01:06:53,040
not only your life but your immortal soul
would be in terrible danger.
665
01:06:53,560 --> 01:06:56,160
You don't mean
it's going to come back for me here?
666
01:06:56,240 --> 01:06:59,440
No, no, no. we have him where we want him.
667
01:06:59,520 --> 01:07:01,200
There's nothing to worry about.
668
01:07:03,920 --> 01:07:05,120
Here, Father.
669
01:07:08,240 --> 01:07:12,400
But remember,
wear that crucifix at all times.
670
01:07:17,160 --> 01:07:19,920
Now we must return to the church
to collect some equipment.
671
01:07:20,000 --> 01:07:22,720
Father, if this demon's a vampire,
672
01:07:22,800 --> 01:07:24,920
shouldn't we start the exorcism
before nightfall?
673
01:07:25,000 --> 01:07:26,080
Absolutely.
674
01:07:26,160 --> 01:07:28,120
Don't you think
you'd better pull your finger out?
675
01:07:38,160 --> 01:07:39,760
Now the holy water.
676
01:07:51,920 --> 01:07:53,880
- This?
- Yes.
677
01:07:54,760 --> 01:07:55,960
Yes.
678
01:08:10,920 --> 01:08:12,200
What are these for?
679
01:08:13,520 --> 01:08:14,760
I'll show you.
680
01:08:26,480 --> 01:08:27,560
I see.
681
01:08:43,080 --> 01:08:44,320
Right.
682
01:08:44,400 --> 01:08:46,200
Let's go and kick some bottom.
683
01:09:16,400 --> 01:09:18,040
- What's wrong?
- I don't know.
684
01:09:18,680 --> 01:09:20,880
- Just seems to have stalled.
- Perhaps you've run out of petrol.
685
01:09:20,960 --> 01:09:22,840
No, there's plenty there. Look.
686
01:09:26,320 --> 01:09:27,760
Stand aside, my son.
687
01:09:27,840 --> 01:09:29,760
I understand these machines, you know.
688
01:09:35,480 --> 01:09:37,040
I don't understand!
689
01:09:37,120 --> 01:09:39,160
She's never broken down before, ever.
690
01:09:39,240 --> 01:09:41,760
This is no good.
we're running out of time.
691
01:09:41,840 --> 01:09:43,640
Let's leave the bike and get a taxi.
692
01:10:02,800 --> 01:10:05,560
Come on, we must hurry.
It'll be getting dark soon.
693
01:10:37,440 --> 01:10:39,960
Well, come on.
we haven't got a moment to lose.
694
01:12:54,200 --> 01:12:55,520
Hallelujah.
695
01:14:34,920 --> 01:14:36,080
Enough!
696
01:15:22,360 --> 01:15:23,640
Is that it?
697
01:15:23,720 --> 01:15:25,040
I think so, yes.
698
01:15:25,120 --> 01:15:27,320
What sort of demon was it?
699
01:15:27,400 --> 01:15:29,120
I'm not quite sure.
700
01:15:32,800 --> 01:15:34,400
I'd almost forgot.
701
01:15:45,400 --> 01:15:47,040
In the name of the Father...
702
01:15:48,040 --> 01:15:49,960
and of the Son,
703
01:15:50,040 --> 01:15:52,880
and of the Holy-- Shit!
704
01:16:20,280 --> 01:16:21,960
The cross! Give me the cross!
705
01:16:24,040 --> 01:16:25,720
Back, foul fiend!
706
01:16:25,800 --> 01:16:27,360
Quick. Run for it, my son.
707
01:16:28,840 --> 01:16:30,720
- What about you?
- Don't worry about me.
708
01:16:30,800 --> 01:16:32,040
Bollocks!
709
01:16:38,640 --> 01:16:40,120
It won't pass!
710
01:16:47,440 --> 01:16:49,240
- Will that hold it?
- Should do.
711
01:16:49,320 --> 01:16:51,960
- I'll go and get some help then.
- No! You stay here.
712
01:16:52,040 --> 01:16:54,520
They'll never believe you. I'll go.
713
01:17:06,920 --> 01:17:08,440
Fuck this!
714
01:17:32,680 --> 01:17:34,160
Yes, I'm sorry, my precious,
715
01:17:34,240 --> 01:17:36,360
but the sergeant says
I've got to work through--
716
01:17:36,440 --> 01:17:39,600
Yes, I've got to. I know. Yes.
717
01:17:39,680 --> 01:17:42,680
It's charlie to blame.
He's gone on sick again.
718
01:17:44,600 --> 01:17:46,880
Maybe tomorrow we can do something nice.
719
01:17:46,960 --> 01:17:48,680
- I've had enough of you bastards.
- Yes.
720
01:17:48,760 --> 01:17:49,800
- Can you hear me?
- Yes, Marla.
721
01:17:49,880 --> 01:17:52,120
- This time I've had enough.
- Oi!
722
01:17:53,720 --> 01:17:54,880
Oi!
723
01:17:55,680 --> 01:17:57,640
Where you goin' Oi!
724
01:17:58,200 --> 01:18:00,120
You're under arrest!
725
01:18:00,560 --> 01:18:02,960
For taking and driving away!
726
01:18:03,800 --> 01:18:06,280
And for reckless driving!
727
01:18:06,360 --> 01:18:08,240
Anything you say
728
01:18:08,320 --> 01:18:12,680
may be taken down
and used in evidence against you.
729
01:18:21,080 --> 01:18:23,360
And resisting arrest!
730
01:18:40,880 --> 01:18:42,120
Shit.
731
01:18:42,640 --> 01:18:44,760
But you just don't care,
do you, you little shit?
732
01:18:44,840 --> 01:18:47,040
Can you hear me?
Harold, will you answer me?
733
01:19:10,240 --> 01:19:11,840
Ah, we better go.
734
01:20:12,400 --> 01:20:16,600
And then the engine started all by itself,
and there were clouds of sulfurous smoke.
735
01:20:16,680 --> 01:20:18,280
And I wrestled it to the floor.
736
01:20:18,360 --> 01:20:20,320
Are you telling me there was nobody on it?
737
01:20:20,400 --> 01:20:23,440
Yes. Don't you understand?
It's possessed by the devil!
738
01:20:23,520 --> 01:20:25,160
Oh, dear.
739
01:20:25,240 --> 01:20:27,720
Are you sure you haven't
been on the communion wine, Father?
740
01:20:27,800 --> 01:20:29,320
Watch it, my son.
741
01:20:31,200 --> 01:20:33,520
Come on, now, Kim,
it's time for your wash.
742
01:20:36,000 --> 01:20:38,200
And not a moment too soon either.
743
01:20:39,560 --> 01:20:41,560
Oh, excuse me.
744
01:20:41,640 --> 01:20:43,560
It's not you.
745
01:20:43,640 --> 01:20:47,840
It's this horrible, smelly, foreign stuff!
746
01:20:48,400 --> 01:20:49,480
Oh, please!
747
01:20:49,560 --> 01:20:53,280
I'm sorry, but it's absolutely revolting.
You can't possibly keep this in here.
748
01:20:53,360 --> 01:20:55,520
- I know, but, sister--
- No, it's out of the question.
749
01:20:56,560 --> 01:20:58,480
Right.
Let's take these off then, shall we?
750
01:20:58,560 --> 01:21:01,120
- Oh, no! No, please!
- Don't worry. Don't cause such a fuss.
751
01:21:01,200 --> 01:21:04,000
- I know, but you don't understand!
- I'm only putting them over here.
752
01:21:04,080 --> 01:21:06,600
Come on now, one more. That's it.
753
01:21:08,680 --> 01:21:10,120
Now then.
754
01:21:11,040 --> 01:21:13,040
Let's scrub-a-dub-dub.
755
01:21:25,560 --> 01:21:27,280
Where's the driver?
756
01:21:27,360 --> 01:21:28,960
He can't be far away.
757
01:21:48,880 --> 01:21:50,520
Bloody hell.
758
01:21:52,120 --> 01:21:53,120
Bloody hell.
759
01:21:53,200 --> 01:21:56,560
You'll feel better
after a nice cup of tea.
760
01:21:57,120 --> 01:21:58,440
Now then.
761
01:21:58,760 --> 01:22:01,320
Shall I be Mother, Father?
762
01:22:01,920 --> 01:22:03,880
Are you trying to be funny?
763
01:22:04,480 --> 01:22:07,000
- I've got your number.
- Hey, hey, hey.
764
01:22:09,360 --> 01:22:11,200
Hello? Yes?
765
01:22:11,280 --> 01:22:13,280
We've just seen a riderless motorbike
go down a wall.
766
01:22:13,360 --> 01:22:14,480
Down a wall?
767
01:22:14,560 --> 01:22:17,080
Yes, it was... incredible.
768
01:22:17,160 --> 01:22:19,040
- Where was this?
- It was just at the hospital.
769
01:22:19,120 --> 01:22:20,160
- The hospital?
- Yes.
770
01:22:21,360 --> 01:22:24,320
There now. That's better, isn't it?
771
01:22:24,400 --> 01:22:25,960
If you say so.
772
01:22:26,760 --> 01:22:30,480
Well, the nurse will be in in a moment
with your sleeping pill and cocoa.
773
01:22:34,040 --> 01:22:35,360
Yummy.
774
01:23:11,880 --> 01:23:13,120
Shit.
775
01:23:16,040 --> 01:23:17,760
What did she do--
776
01:23:42,480 --> 01:23:44,800
Hiya. One lump or two?
777
01:23:44,880 --> 01:23:46,080
Four.
778
01:25:31,120 --> 01:25:33,120
Keep back, you bastard!
779
01:25:36,520 --> 01:25:37,520
What's all--
780
01:25:39,760 --> 01:25:41,360
Oh, my God!
781
01:25:41,440 --> 01:25:43,240
What's going on?
782
01:25:43,320 --> 01:25:44,760
Are you all right?
783
01:26:02,440 --> 01:26:03,560
Bloody hell.
784
01:26:03,640 --> 01:26:05,560
Come on. She's upstairs.
785
01:26:24,520 --> 01:26:26,360
Oh, shit.
786
01:27:45,120 --> 01:27:46,720
Right.
787
01:27:49,600 --> 01:27:52,080
You bastard!
788
01:27:54,600 --> 01:27:56,280
Take this!
789
01:29:44,000 --> 01:29:46,440
Hey! Hey! Hey!
790
01:29:47,440 --> 01:29:48,760
Noddy!
791
01:29:48,840 --> 01:29:51,680
- Help! Help! Help!
- Noddy!
792
01:29:56,200 --> 01:29:58,480
Help! Help!
793
01:30:00,040 --> 01:30:02,360
Help! Anybody there?
794
01:30:04,160 --> 01:30:05,800
I wish I had a gun.
795
01:30:05,880 --> 01:30:08,800
Take one of these.
I think you'll find it more useful.
796
01:30:09,880 --> 01:30:10,880
Is it loaded?
797
01:30:25,240 --> 01:30:26,840
Oi, oi, oi!
798
01:30:26,920 --> 01:30:28,440
What the bloody hell
d'you think you're doing?
799
01:30:28,520 --> 01:30:31,320
- What is the matter with you?
- Just help me barricade the door!
800
01:30:32,320 --> 01:30:34,440
Just help me barricade the door!
There's someone after me!
801
01:30:34,520 --> 01:30:36,080
Oh, God!
802
01:30:36,680 --> 01:30:39,000
What in the bloody hell's that?
803
01:30:39,360 --> 01:30:41,480
- It's me bike.
-well, you can't bring it in here.
804
01:30:41,560 --> 01:30:43,440
- Come on, out you go.
- No, don't touch it!
805
01:30:47,000 --> 01:30:48,920
Jesus christ!
806
01:30:52,480 --> 01:30:55,120
Get out the way!
Throw me that bloody thing!
807
01:30:57,640 --> 01:30:58,840
Get it!
808
01:31:18,200 --> 01:31:19,720
You bastard!
809
01:31:25,760 --> 01:31:26,920
- Come on!
- Go right for it!
810
01:31:27,000 --> 01:31:28,280
Out of the way!
811
01:31:56,040 --> 01:31:57,600
- There he is!
- Noddy!
812
01:31:58,360 --> 01:32:00,480
- Are you all right?
- Yeah, I think so.
813
01:32:00,960 --> 01:32:04,080
It's all right, everyone. It's over.
814
01:32:06,840 --> 01:32:09,440
Good has triumphed over evil.
815
01:32:11,040 --> 01:32:12,960
Right. we'll get you to the hospital.
816
01:32:13,040 --> 01:32:14,440
No, no, I'm all right.
817
01:32:14,520 --> 01:32:15,720
Come on.
818
01:32:16,280 --> 01:32:18,000
You should get that seen to.
819
01:32:18,080 --> 01:32:19,360
Might need some stitches.
820
01:32:20,280 --> 01:32:21,640
Bastard!
821
01:32:23,800 --> 01:32:26,400
I'll take you to the hospital.
we'll get the bike later.
822
01:32:26,480 --> 01:32:27,560
Yeah.
823
01:32:36,320 --> 01:32:37,840
Oh, my--
824
01:32:51,080 --> 01:32:52,480
Sorry 'bout that.
825
01:32:53,680 --> 01:32:55,400
Just sort of slipped out me hand.
826
01:32:55,840 --> 01:32:59,000
I didn't mean it. I love bikes. Honest!
827
01:33:00,520 --> 01:33:01,680
That spike--
828
01:33:02,640 --> 01:33:05,680
Stand back. I'll deal with this.
829
01:33:14,880 --> 01:33:16,720
Well, don't just stand there!
830
01:33:17,880 --> 01:33:19,520
Do something!
831
01:33:24,720 --> 01:33:26,000
What's happening?
832
01:33:26,680 --> 01:33:28,320
Some-something's working!
833
01:33:41,040 --> 01:33:42,760
Go after him!
834
01:33:47,720 --> 01:33:49,320
Come on, pull!
835
01:34:14,400 --> 01:34:16,040
Come on, pull!
836
01:34:16,120 --> 01:34:17,520
Pull!
837
01:34:18,240 --> 01:34:19,600
Push.
838
01:34:22,040 --> 01:34:23,440
Oh, my God!
839
01:34:23,520 --> 01:34:24,720
Leave him be!
840
01:34:24,800 --> 01:34:26,880
- Put the fuckin' plug in!
- Right!
841
01:34:26,960 --> 01:34:28,000
The plug!
842
01:34:50,440 --> 01:34:51,760
The crucifix!
843
01:34:51,840 --> 01:34:53,280
- Use your crucifix!
- Right, yeah.
844
01:34:56,040 --> 01:34:57,800
Try this for size!
845
01:35:00,120 --> 01:35:01,800
Force it into the light!
846
01:35:02,480 --> 01:35:03,960
I thought we was done.
847
01:35:04,040 --> 01:35:05,400
It's a sunbed!
848
01:35:07,560 --> 01:35:09,560
Oh, yeah. course it is.
849
01:35:09,640 --> 01:35:10,640
Yeah.
850
01:35:11,320 --> 01:35:13,000
Force it into the light!
851
01:35:14,920 --> 01:35:16,160
Back.
852
01:35:16,600 --> 01:35:17,480
Back!
853
01:36:40,160 --> 01:36:44,040
Noddy, how much did you really pay
for that bike?
854
01:36:45,320 --> 01:36:47,400
What kind of bike was it?
855
01:36:47,480 --> 01:36:49,080
Norton commando.
856
01:36:49,160 --> 01:36:51,520
It's funny. They're usually so reliable.
857
01:37:06,320 --> 01:37:09,040
Don't know what I'm gonna put down
for the insurance claim.
858
01:37:09,120 --> 01:37:12,600
- Could we say it was an act of God?
- Don't think so somehow.
859
01:37:14,200 --> 01:37:15,400
Bugger!
860
01:37:16,040 --> 01:37:17,160
Cut me hand.
861
01:37:17,240 --> 01:37:19,200
Don't use that. It's filthy!
862
01:37:19,280 --> 01:37:21,800
- No, no, no, it's all right.
- It's not!
863
01:37:22,200 --> 01:37:25,040
Come on.
I'll clean it up properly for you inside.
864
01:37:25,120 --> 01:37:27,560
- Oh, God.
- Oh, Noddy!
865
01:37:30,240 --> 01:37:31,200
Come on.
866
01:37:31,280 --> 01:37:33,400
Did I ever show you
how to weigh a pair of tits?
867
01:37:33,480 --> 01:37:35,800
No, but I expect you're going to.
868
01:37:35,880 --> 01:37:37,320
Weigh!
869
01:37:37,400 --> 01:37:39,080
Get off, Noddy!
870
01:37:39,600 --> 01:37:42,120
You got blood all over me blouse!
60048
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