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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:28,640 Oh. 2 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:31,800 Really? 3 00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:36,160 Sorry. I'm really sorry. No, I didn't mean to do that. 4 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:40,200 But it always snows in Finland. 5 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:41,600 It is the wrong kind of snow. 6 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:43,440 Well, how can you not be prepared for that? 7 00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:45,320 No wonder everyone kills themselves here. 8 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:48,040 Actually, that is a common misconception about Finland. 9 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:49,280 Our suicide rate... 10 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:52,280 I know, Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. I was just making a joke. 11 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:54,560 Hey. And I know Girl With The Dragon Tattoo is Swedish 12 00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:57,040 so you don't need to... Hey, hey, hey. There's no need to be rude. 13 00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:58,480 It's not her fault it's snowing, 14 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:00,080 yeah, there's no need to be a dick about it. 15 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:02,920 Do I know you? I wasn't being a dick. 16 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:05,760 I said that she looks like Rooney Mara. That's a compliment. 17 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:07,720 OK, well, look, I've worked jobs like this. 18 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:10,000 Oh. Oh, good. Oh, good. Cos I really wanted the input of 19 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:12,080 a random man who had a job once. 20 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:22,360 Oh, can I...? Yeah, thanks. 21 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:30,200 What? 22 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:35,560 Peace offering. 23 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:38,600 G&T, please. 24 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:46,280 I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have butted in. 25 00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:48,400 I'm not very good around conflict. 26 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:50,800 Even if it's none of my business, I end up trying to fix it. 27 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:53,560 It's fine. I don't need your life story. Thanks. 28 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,600 So what brings you to Finland? 29 00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:09,120 Work. Ah, nice. Yeah, nice. 30 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,640 I'm on a sort of like spur-of-the-moment type thing. 31 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:15,080 Right. 32 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:20,000 I was mostly in the countryside. I'm writing a piece. 33 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,880 Erm, do you know Tristdetektiv? Sad Detective? 34 00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:24,400 The murder-y show? Yeah, we're... 35 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:26,320 Erm, yeah, I'm watching that at the moment. 36 00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:28,520 Yeah, well, I'm writing a piece about how you can visit 37 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:30,680 all the murder sites from the series. 38 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:32,200 But isn't that set in Lapland? 39 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:35,640 This is Lapland. No, this is Fin-land. 40 00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:37,480 Lapland is in Finland. 41 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:44,760 Hold on, so you're telling me, I've been in the land of reindeer 42 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:46,240 and Father Christmas all week, 43 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:49,280 and I've sat in a bar drinking 15 Euro beers? 44 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:52,400 Well, next time, you should ask me for some tips because 45 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:55,160 I wrote a few things in the Lonely Planet guide, actually. 46 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:57,400 Cool. Yeah, cool. 47 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:03,120 I have a confession to make. 48 00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:06,640 I didn't come here spontaneously. 49 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:10,120 Yeah, you weren't very convincing when you said you had, to be honest. 50 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,160 My...girlfriend cheated on me. 51 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:18,640 We've been together for 11 years and last week she told me she slept 52 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:21,520 with one of her colleagues. It was a woman, actually. 53 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:23,360 Not that it matters, that it was a woman. 54 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:25,000 Like, she had her reasons, 55 00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:26,400 I understand that, but... 56 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:30,760 ..it really hurt. 57 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:38,640 Excuse me. Can we get some shots, please? 58 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:41,800 No, no, no. Yes. We're doing it. Yes. Yes! 59 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:43,480 MOANING 60 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,880 Ugh. Fucking Aquavit. 61 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:55,480 It was marginally less shit spending the evening 62 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:58,600 with you than I thought it would be. 63 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:27,520 PHONE BUZZES 64 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:40,120 Oh, God. 65 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:42,480 Fucking Aquavit. 66 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:48,560 We've got to get going. 67 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:50,280 Are you all right? 68 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:52,760 Hm? Yeah. Sorry. I just... 69 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:57,120 I've never really done this before. Cheating. 70 00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:58,920 On Est...erm, my girlfriend. 71 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,680 Esther. Her name's Esther. 72 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:04,680 She cheated on you, right? 73 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,800 She did. Erm, but, yeah, I don't know. Just... 74 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:14,440 This does not feel great... in the light of day. No offence. 75 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,400 Well, if it makes you feel any better, 76 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:18,800 I'm married. 77 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,240 What? How's that going to make me feel better? 78 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:24,720 Why didn't you say anything? It never came up. 79 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:28,200 I 100% would have not done anything if I knew you were... 80 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:29,560 Oh, please. 81 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:31,880 Coming from the guy in an 11-year relationship. 82 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:34,840 Fuck. 83 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:38,080 I can't believe this. 84 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:39,840 I mean, do you even have a wedding ring? 85 00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:41,240 It was on my finger, 86 00:05:41,280 --> 00:05:44,600 which was literally around your cock. How did you not notice that? 87 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:47,720 Look, I'm sorry for tempting you away 88 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:50,560 from your perfect relationship. No, that's not what I'm saying. 89 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:51,880 Oh, just stop talking. 90 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:54,200 I need to find whatever the fuck Nurofen is in Finnish. 91 00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:56,560 Well, go on, check in. Fuck off. 92 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:00,920 That's fine by me. Have a great life. 93 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:11,120 Thank you. 94 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,800 BABY CRIES 95 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:22,080 CRYING INTENSIFIES 96 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:36,880 Hey. Fola. 97 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:40,200 Fola. Hey. Good flight? 98 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:43,080 Ah, I threw up twice in the loos. 99 00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:46,480 Oh, I...I just didn't want to leave things like we did earlier. 100 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:50,840 You know, I'm...I'm angry at myself, not at you, so... 101 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:54,560 Listen, we got drunk, we did something stupid. 102 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:56,720 It's not like it's the end of the world. 103 00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:59,400 Believe it or not, I'm very happy in my marriage. 104 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:03,080 Yeah. Yeah, me too. Very happy in my relationship. 105 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:11,640 OK, erm, should we...swap numbers? 106 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:14,760 You know, in case you got me pregnant, or something. 107 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:18,680 I wore a condom. 108 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:20,800 I'm on the pill. I'm messing with you. 109 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:27,200 Oh, my... That is not funny at all. Ooh. God. I think my heart stopped. 110 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:30,440 OK, no numbers. Erm, so, I'll be off, then. 111 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:34,760 Well, erm... Do we hug or..? 112 00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:38,640 Why not? 113 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:49,880 BABY CRIES 114 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:16,400 Thank you. 115 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:43,560 What the fuck are you doing here? Are you stalking me? 116 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:47,640 What are you doing here? I live here. Where? Here. There. 117 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:52,560 I live there. 118 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,440 There, like across the road from me? 119 00:08:57,520 --> 00:09:00,320 OK, yeah, well, you'll have to move. We've just bought this place. 120 00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:02,880 I'm not going to move. I've lived here for eight years. 121 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:06,080 OK, look, look, look. It'll be fine. 122 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:08,520 It'll be fine. We'll just ignore each other. 123 00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:10,800 No-one knows their neighbours now anyway. 124 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:19,360 Yeah, listen... 125 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:31,440 # Here's the thing 126 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:33,440 # If you smile enough then everybody smiles 127 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:34,720 # Here's the thing 128 00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:36,600 # if you work a little harder you'll get by 129 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:37,680 # Here's the thing 130 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:39,520 # Or you can trust a man who wears a suit and tie 131 00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:41,440 # It's all just lies, lies, lies, lies 132 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:42,480 # Here's the thing 133 00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:44,160 # If your parents worked to earn it then it's yours 134 00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:45,440 # Here's the thing 135 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:47,440 # If you're barely getting by then that's your fault 136 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:48,680 # Here's the thing 137 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:50,640 # Everything in life is fair and that's the rules 138 00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:53,000 # It's all just lies, lies, lies, lies 139 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:55,480 # If you just close your eyes then everything's all right 140 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:56,960 # If you just close your eyes 141 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,480 # Then everything's all right 142 00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:00,760 # Hey, Ma, I wrote a song now everything's all right... # 17641

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