All language subtitles for The Orville 1x07 - Majority Rule (English)

I guess what I'm having a
little bit of trouble with here

is how you could have
done something like this

in the first place.

I mean, please, help me understand

what was going through
your minds at the time.

We weren't paying attention.

And I know I speak for
us both when I say that

if I had it to do over
again, I would absolutely

do things differently.

I would be much more aware.

Because you got caught, or
because you feel ashamed?

I feel ashamed.

I'm ashamed of my behavior,

and I am deeply, deeply sorry.

Yeah, we were all gonna
go to Kylynn's after work,

if you want to come.

Me, too.

I mean, you can invite her, if you want.

I'm just kind of over her right now.

Well, she's just been kind of like

a really bad friend to all
our other friends, you know?

I mean, she got 15 downvotes last week,

so that tells you something.

That's about all the time
we have for Lewis and Tom,

so, please, don't forget
to cast your votes now.

You have The Breakfast Show on?

Yeah, but I missed the first
part... what did they do?

- ... or sincere.
- Mm.

That one guy has really weird eyes.

Mm, I don't know, he
just seems kind of shady.

Yeah, I was gonna wear the blue one,

but then I totally forgot
I let Jessala borrow it,

and now she's out of town.

I know, right? Bitch.

She is so getting a
downvote when she gets back.

Hey! Hey!

Final Vote has begun.

Man, it does look a lot like Earth.

In more ways than one.

With all the different
planets in the galaxy,

you're bound to have a few cases
of parallel species development.

Sargas Four is an acute
example of this phenomenon.

Union cultural anthropologists
believe it bears

remarkable similarities
to your 21st century Earth.

So, like, I could go down there

and get, like, a Manwich?

Nobody's going down there
except the landing team.

How long have the researchers
been unaccounted for?

Over a month.

Their last report indicated they'd had

some success integrating
into the culture.

They even sent back some
really interesting images.

And then, suddenly, nothing.

Radio silence.

Could just be equipment malfunction.

- Communications failure.
- Maybe.

I'm gonna go check on the landing team.

- Bortus, you have the conn.
- Aye, sir.

This is ridiculous, man.

How the hell is anybody supposed
to walk around in these things?

I don't know, John, I think
you look good in skinny jeans.

If I wanted to scratch
my balls right now,

I would have to reach in my back pocket.

Yeah, well, at least
your pants are whole.

Commander, I look ridiculous.

You want to go down
there with that forehead?

Well, no, but...

Okay, let's see what
else is in the file.

We don't have a lot of specific
information on this society.

Traditional Sargas Four
headwear, various styles.

Here.

There you go. That's better.

John, what do you think?

I dig it. I like the whole thing.

If Andy got a look at you right now,

he'd be kickin' himself for dumpin' you.

I dumped him, let's be clear about that.

My God, you guys look like
unemployed backup dancers.

You want to lead this landing party?

No, I'm too shy to wear a crop top.

Don't forget this.

Sargas Four is a capitalist culture.

What is it?

- It's money.
- What do you do with it?

You give it to people,
and they give you stuff,

- or they do stuff.
- That's weird.

There's gonna be a lot of
weird surprises down there,

so everyone's gonna have to stay alert.

Claire... I'm sure Lewis is fine.

It's probably just
faulty communications.

I appreciate that, Captain.

Lewis and I worked
together a long time ago,

but I always remember him
being very resourceful.

I know he's okay.

All right.

Now, remember, you go in,

you locate the anthropologists,
you bring 'em back.

You leave as tiny a footprint
as you can on that society.

No interference.

If, God forbid, something's
happened to our people,

you get out of there fast, you
report back here. Understood?

- Okay.
- All right, good luck.

Oh, and, Alara,

do something about that nose, will you?

Aye, sir.

Why are you sitting like that?

It's these friggin' jeans.

If I leaned back right now,
I'd give myself a vasectomy.

Engage cloak.

Engaging cloak.

Hey, Jerris. Good to see you back.

Oh, thanks, man.

I think that was probably
the worst flu I ever had.

Well, hey, looks like
you lost a few pounds.

You know, I'll take it.

Oh, look at that.

How nice is your grandma, huh?

How much does she love you?

Thank you, Grandma.

Oh, you are so welcome, dear one.

What do you give to Grandma?

- Thank you, honey.
- Aw, good girl.

That's it.

- Oh!
- Watch it, dude!

I'm really sorry. I wasn't looking.

Look at this place.

My God, it's incredible how
similar it is to old Earth.

Yeah, maybe there's a "Bustin Jieber"

walkin' around somewhere.

Grayson to Orville.

Orville here.

- You reading me?
- Loud and clear.

Good. We'll stay on this
frequency and contact you

when we have an update. Grayson out.

All right, here you go.

Have a good day.

- Hi. Yeah, hi.
- Can I help you?

We were wondering, if by
any chance, you've seen

either of these two men.

What's this, a joke?

No, it's not.

Do you know them?

Yeah, I know who they are.

Do you know where we can find them?

Well, they used to hang out
at the cafe up the street.

Hey, where are your badges?

We're not police officers,
if that's what you're asking.

Well, you sure as hell
are gonna get arrested

without your badges.

Mine broke, so I figured I'd wait

for the new version to come out.

Actually, we lost them.

I can sell you a set of four,

all pre-loaded with 200,000 upvotes.

That's... that's great, thanks.

They're all odd numbers, with
a couple of downvotes included,

so it doesn't seem fake.

40 lods.

- I'm sorry?
- Come on!

- The money.
- Oh. Oh, right. Sorry.

Um...

- Now, about the two men.
- Go on,

get the hell outta here...
you want to get me busted?

Come on, let's go check out the cafe.

What are these things?

I don't know, but
everybody's wearing 'em.

Look around you.

Hey, Alara,

maybe you can find a guy here, huh?

Brand-new planet, nobody
knows your dating history.

What the hell does that mean?

Nothin'. It's just
that you've gone through

two guys in two months.

Well, I told you, it's just
really hard to find a guy

who doesn't get insecure
about my abilities.

Is that the only reason you dumped Andy?

Mostly, but also...

he danced weird.

- What?
- Weird how?

Too grindy.

A little grindy can be good.

Yeah, but this was really grindy.

Wait, what's... what's too grindy?

Right, like, is... is this too grindy?

What the hell are you doing?

Is this too grindy

or not grindy enough?

- Lieutenant, stop it.
- This is it, right?

Huh? This is that Goldilocks grind.

Where the grind is just right.

Lieutenant, knock it off
right now. That's an order.

All right, all right. I
was just trying to help out.

What part of inconspicuous
don't you understand?

There's the cafe, come on.

And there's great concern
about the level of contamination

due to industrial waste in
the South Madaka reservoir.

But you can't deny facts.
74% of the population

has voted that assessment false.

I mean, facts are facts.

Have a nice day.

Hi, I'd just like a cup of tea, please.

Read the sign.

_

Please, all I want is a cup of tea.

I've been to a dozen
cafes all over town...

No exceptions.

Most of these are from my 20s.

I'm a completely
different person, and...

Look, if you don't get
out of here right now,

I'm going to call the police.

- Hi. Can I help you?
- I hope so.

We're looking for two
men who've been seen here.

Hi. I'm Lysella.

Hey, I'm John.

How's it going?

Oh, God, that was too
forward, wasn't it?

Was that too forward?

Nah. No.

I was just saying

I wish somebody would poke me today.

What happened to your nose?

It's a deviated septum.

She's a coke addict.

Ma'am, have you seen
either of these two men?

You're kidding me, right?

Everybody knows these guys.

Why does everyone know them?

They got corrected, like a month ago.

What do you mean by corrected?

Breaking news...

- Oh, my God.
- John, your badge.

Oh, my God, what did you do?

- Commander, look.
- Again,

what you are seeing here is a man

performing what appears to be

a lewd act on a statue
of Mella Giffenden.

This was recorded just a
few minutes ago and uploaded.

The Feed is understandably

not happy about it,

and voting has already begun.

The badge code has been identified,

so get out those mobile
devices and cast your vote now.

Oh, my God, you're
already above 500,000.

You need to get out of here, now.

- Wait, what does that mean?
- Get out of here. Now! Go!

Come on, let's go.

Hey!

Hey, that's the guy!

- What's going on here?
- I...

Grayson to Orville.

- Mercer here, go ahead.
- Captain, there's something

going on down here. Some
kind of social hysteria

surrounding Lieutenant Lamarr.

Show some respect for
your country, jerk.

Hey, chill out.

Kelly, what's happening?

John dry-humped a statue.

What?

Get out of the way!

We got to get out of here now.

I'll contact you from the shuttle.

Grayson out.

Get out of the way.

We got to move, guys. Come on.

- Come on, let's move.
- Get out of the way.

Move.

Come on, we gotta move.

Hold it right there!

You're under arrest.

Exactly what did your
navigator do down there?

I'm told he dry-humped a statue.

Oh, my God.

What kind of ship are you
running out there, Captain?

Look, Admiral, he's
an impulsive guy, yes,

but he's fantastic at his job.

Part of his job is to
maintain a low profile

when observing
lesser-developed alien cultures.

I... I know that, and I promise
it will not happen again.

I will personally order him..

not to hump things, but in the meantime,

request clearance to extract him.

Absolutely not.

Look, sir, just hear
me out on this, okay?

Let's say we reveal ourselves.

We go in there, we
tell them what happened.

This is a culture at the 21st
century level of development.

Knowledge of extraterrestrial life

could unify them in a profound way.

Or it could plunge them into a panic,

or some worse degree of upheaval.

I'm sorry, Captain.

Your man screwed up.

He's going to have to
play by their rules.

Tucker out.

Sorry to keep you waiting, John.

Is it "John"?

Yeah. That's... that's right.

That's an unusual name.

Is it Kelvic?

Yeah. Sure.

Well...

John...

you've gotten yourself in a
bit of a situation, haven't you?

I don't know. You tell me.

Last time I checked,

you only arrest someone if
they've committed a crime.

Uh-huh. And what would you
call a million downvotes?

Look man, I just danced
with a statue, that's all.

Why don't you start by telling me

your version of what happened,

- from the beginning.
- If I told it from the beginning,

you'd crap your pants and pass out.

Trust me, I've heard it all.

There's nothing you can
say that will shock me.

Want to bet?

Look, I'm just here to help you.

Are you supposed to be
my lawyer or something?

- Your what?
- My lawyer.

I'm not familiar with that term.

You know, with everything
I've seen today,

I'm not the least bit surprised.

I'm your publicity officer.

I'm here to help guide you
through your apology tour.

Okay, wait. Now I'm really lost.

What the hell is that?

You... you don't know
what an apology tour is?

John, they happen every day.

How can you not be aware of...

Let's say I'm not aware, okay?

Let's say, right,

I'm the dumbest son of
a bitch you've ever met.

Now with that in mind,

why don't you explain
my situation to me?

Okay.

You performed a disrespectful act

on a statue commemorating
frontier hero Mella Giffenden.

It was caught on video and
uploaded to the Master Feed.

You received over one million
downvotes from the public,

which makes what you did
a crime against the State.

You will now begin an apology tour,

during which the people
will vote on whether or not

they believe your sincerity.

If your downvotes
remain under ten million,

you'll be free to go.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Wait. I'm sorry...

All that crap you just said,

that... that's real?

Aw, you got to be kidding me.

That's how the justice system works.

Which I think you know.

Okay, wait, so...

uh, what happens if
they don't believe me?

You will undergo social correction

to prevent future transgressions.

What's that, social correction?

You will receive

a series of neurological treatments

to pacify any and all
potentially negative impulses.

Okay, now I ain't laughing.

Mercer to Grayson.

What's the latest?

No change, Captain.

We're waiting for them to bring him out.

I still want to know how the hell

a member of my crew let this happen.

It was my fault.

I take full responsibility.

Do you have any idea how bad this is?

Ed, I'll fix it. I promise.

No surprise,

the admiral denied us
clearance to extract him.

So, what are we up against?

This whole society seems to operate

on some kind of points system.

I mean, these badges everyone wears,

the Feed on every wall,

- John's arrest...
- Okay. Your guy's here.

You got five minutes.

Okay, they just brought
him out. I got to go.

I'll contact you when
I can. Grayson out.

Lieutenant, are you okay?

Yeah, I'm all right. But,
Commander, t... this is crazy.

They want me to do some
kind of apology tour

that's supposed to decide
if I'm guilty or not.

Well, that fits right
in with everything else

about this place.

I don't suppose the Orville
could send down an armed party

and we just blast our way out of here.

The captain couldn't get
clearance from the Union.

We're gonna have to work
within the laws of this society.

Is the captain mad?

Well, he's more mad at me.

Good.

Listen, uh, they said I could take

one person with me on the tour.

I'd like it to be you.

Of course. I'll do
everything I can to help.

We're gonna get you out
of this, don't worry.

John.

Did they tell you what
happens if you lose?

It doesn't sound good.

They put you through
some kind of brain fry

that's supposed to get
rid of all the bad stuff.

This is a 21st century level society.

They don't have the
medical sophistication

to do that safely.

Commander, he could end
up a mental vegetable.

- Hey, I'm a spaceman! You got to let me out of here!
- Shh!

- I'm a spaceman! Hey!
- Don't make this worse for yourself.

Come on.

Okay, let's say...

let's say he loses.

Would you be able to reverse
any damage to his brain?

I don't know.

I'd have to examine someone
who's had the procedure.

The question is, who?

The missing anthropologists.

Remember the girl from the cafe
said that they'd been corrected.

- They must've done something.
- That makes sense.

Everyone we talked to
seemed to recognize them.

What in the hell could they have done?

Lewis isn't exactly the
type to hump a statue.

We've got to locate those men.

I'm sorry, John, I got to pull you away.

The Chat needs you on set in 20 minutes.

The Chat?

Yep. Put your game face on.

Here we go.

Now remember, humility is the key.

You're extremely ashamed
of your lack of judgment,

and you're prepared to
accept society's verdict

with wholehearted respect.

And don't forget to
mention the donation.

I got it, all right?

Believe me, I'm gonna just

go out there and kiss ass.

Yeah, but not too much.

If they think you're pandering,

they'll smell it.

Just be yourself, but be humble.

Okay, welcome back to The Chat.

It is voting time,
and today we've got one

I'm sure you're all aware of.

Have you guys seen this video
of the guy with the statue?

It's pretty disgraceful.

This man was caught on video

simulating a sexual act

with a statue of Mella Giffenden,

and it has justifiably
angered a lot of people.

We have the video here.

Let's take a look.

Is it too grindy or not grindy enough?

Ugh.

And that's not even how I do
sex. I was... I was just dancing.

Um... humility.

Oh, wow,

that is just horrible.

Totally agree. Look at the Master Feed.

Everybody's talking about it.

"He has no respect for his
nation," says one person.

"We don't need people like that
in our society," says another.

"Correct him now."

Obviously, people are

very passionate about this,
so let's bring him out.

Ladies and gentlemen, John Lamarr.

Okay, go.

- I just had to do that.
- Good girl.

Okay, so let's get straight to it,

because everybody wants to know

why would you do something so blatantly

demeaning to the image of someone who is

so universally respected by our country?

Well, I deeply regret my actions,

and I'm very, very sorry
and it will not happen again.

Peace.

I don't know.

Does he sound sorry?

- I don't think so.
- No, I... I am.

I... I really am.

I had a momentary lapse in judgment,

and I'm aware that I caused offense

to a great many people
and I sincerely apologize.

I'm not even that kind of guy.

Grayson to Orville. Are you watching?

We're seeing it.

I like soda.

I'm a good driver.

Who would need such a large cup?

Kelly, what the hell
kind of circus is this?

You're telling me this
is their legal process?

We haven't seen evidence of
any codified legal framework.

I mean, it all seems
subject to public vote

at any given time.

Captain, what she is describing

is an absolute, unstructured democracy.

There is no record of any
previously discovered society

operating in such a fashion.

Government by American Idol.

What is American Idol?

That was a form of
entertainment from old Earth.

People competed to see who
had the best singing voice.

Why?

I don't know.

It was a dark time.

I sing.

Okay, I just want to jump in here.

You know, we talk to a lot of
different people on this show

and I got to say, your
apology sounds very rehearsed.

Yeah, it does.

Do something.

I can't. It's up to him.

N... no, no, I... I swear to God.

I... I'm so, so completely sorry.

N... no BS.

I... I even donated

to the Mella Giffendon
Foundation for Jacked-Up Kids.

The Foundation for
Disadvantaged Children.

Right. That's... that's the one.

Uh, I gave a whole bunch of money.

Really?

How many lods?

- Oh, so many lods.
- How many?

I just walked in there
and I made it rain lods.

I was like, boom.

- Lods for ev...
- I have a question.

Can you tell us what Mella Giffendon did

that made her such a hero?

- Oh, no.
- What?

We didn't cover this.

She was... she did a lot of things,

a lot of good things.

Th... that's why there's a statue.

Y... y... y... you don't get
a statue just sitting around.

She got up, she got out,

and she did what's what

and that's why there's a statue.

Name one thing she did.

She saved the whale forests.

He can't even name one thing.

Oh, my God. How about leading

an entire settlement
of pioneers, for one.

Okay, I think we've heard enough.

- Yeah.
- Let's vote. Shall we vote?

Yeah. Let's vote.

All right, let's get his badge info

up there on the screen.

Okay. There it is.

Studio audience and you folks
at home, cast your votes.

Dude, I got to say, this is creepy.

I mean it. This is creepy as hell.

All right.

Let's see where we're at.

It's okay.

He's got more shows to do.

You think she'll help us?

They had to have a base
of operations somewhere.

She's the only one who might
be able to give us a lead.

There you go.

Oh, hey, guys.

I am so, so sorry about what happened.

Well, thank you.

We're optimistic that he'll be okay.

Who?

John. Our friend who got arrested.

You're kidding me, right?

Oh, my...

No, screw that guy.

Why would you ever want
to talk to him again?

I mean, he got a million downvotes.

Right, yes, and that's bad.

I... I mean, it's like

- you never really know somebody, you know?
- Mm.

I actually thought he was cute
when he first came in here.

Ugh, God, that makes my skin crawl.

Mine, too. Really, really gross guy.

Listen, Lysella, about our
friends who got corrected...

Oh, my God, that's right.

Holy crap, you guys have
had a really bad month, huh?

We were wondering if you might
know where they were based,

like if they had a residence nearby?

Hey. Why are you wearing that?

- Me?
- Yeah, you.

Take that neffolo off.

I'm sorry, the what?

You're not Kelvic.

That's traditional Kelvic headwear.

It's not a hat.

Oh, no.

Uh, I...

- I can't.
- What?

I have the deepest respect
for your place of origin,

but I can't take this off.

You're literally pissing on
my heritage by wearing that.

I have a really bad rash under here.

It's disgusting. You'd throw up, so...

I think you're lying.

Prove it

or they're all gonna upload.

Uh, you know what?

You are absolutely right.

We're gonna go and
take it off right now.

Come on, Alara. We're very sorry.

Claire, what am I gonna do?

- Go on, take it off.
- What?

Take it off.

The seamstress is in the house.

- What are you doing?
- I'm making you a wrap.

Not super fashionable, but it'll cover

that washboard forehead of yours.

- Wow, full-service doctor.
- You know it.

Hey, um, that guy's gone

if you guys want to...

New problem.

- No!
- No!

- No, no, no, no! It's okay.
- Come on. It's okay.

- It's okay. You're fine.
- All right?

You're okay.

We're not gonna hurt you.

What are you?

We are two very nice people

who are gonna buy you a drink.

Feeling better?

I... I just can't believe

that this is actually happening.

I mean, you guys really
are from another planet?

Well, two different planets, actually.

Claire is from a place called Earth

and I'm from a planet called Xelayan.

So, can you guys, like, do stuff?

Like shoot lasers out
of your eyes or anything?

I can do this.

Oh, whoa.

Lysella, we need your help.

The two men you saw in the
pictures that we showed you,

they're like us... they came
here to study your planet.

We need to find them.

Wait, those guys were aliens, too?

Yes. Do you know what happened to them?

Uh, they were on a subtrain

and there was a pregnant
woman standing behind them

because all the seats were taken.

Somebody took a picture. Here.

I'll show you.

They didn't get up and offer the seat.

The picture was uploaded
to the Master Feed

and then they got downvoted.

It looks like they just didn't see her.

Doesn't matter. The people decided.

That was always Lewis.

Nose buried so deep in his work,

he never had a clue what
was going on around him.

But, uh, there is something else.

One of them tried to escape
before he was corrected.

He got killed.

- Which one?
- I don't remember.

Lysella, where do they send
people who have been corrected?

They send them home.

I think your friends once told
me they lived on Kappala Street.

These are Lewis's research notes.

Doctor.

Lewis!

Lewis, thank God. Are you all right?

I am well.

Don't you recognize me?

It's Claire.

Of course. Claire.

You look healthy and happy.

Lewis, I need to know.

What did they do to you?

I did something terrible
and then I was corrected.

I'm better now.

I'm healthier and happier.

I have to get him back to the ship.

- John, do you have any talents I should know about?
- What?

Can you dance or play an instrument?

What the hell does that
have to do with anything?

Um, look, we're not doing too well here.

We should have a lot fewer
downvotes and we don't.

But people tend to be more sympathetic,

more forgiving of a crime,
if the perpetrator has talent.

That makes them more
likable, more relatable.

Hmm. Uh, I can drink an
entire bottle of tequila

and say the alphabet.

Just go out there with
a lot of positive energy.

Get the audience on your side.

All right, ladies and gentlemen.

My next guest is a guy

you've all seen or
heard about on the Feed.

His actions speak for themselves.

Here's John Lamarr.

Hey, hey, hey.

All right. Okay.

You know, I got to say, I'm
surprised by that entrance.

You liked it?

You're in a lot of trouble

for doing something
extremely disrespectful

and not only did you dance out here

acting like it's nothing,

but you struck several
members of the audience.

For God's sake, Willks, what
the hell are you trying to do?

Hey, I'm giving this my best shot here.

Now, this job entails
a lot of guesswork.

Lewis, is there anything you
can tell us about that planet

that might help us repair
the damage they did to you?

There is no damage.

I am healthy and happy.

But what about Tom?

Lewis, they killed him.

My God, his family.

Please tell Tom's family

I wish them great
happiness and good health.

Captain, it's like
he's been lobotomized.

There's nothing I can do.

The brain damage is too severe.

Sir, we can't let them do this to John.

Okay, it is voting time, audience,

and you folks at home.

Here we go.

Do you believe John's apology?

Sound off now.

Damn it.

Now what?

Well, that's it.

Now he goes back to detention to
wait for the final summary vote.

And then?

Well, if he stays below
ten million downvotes

before the tour window elapses,

he's fine.

But, honestly, I've never
seen anyone above nine million

at this stage who came out uncorrected.

I'm sorry, Kelly.

Grayson to Orville.

Mercer here. Go ahead.

Captain, what's the latest from Claire?

She can't repair the damage.

Then John is in big trouble.

We need some kind of
an inside advantage.

What can we do?

The admiral said that

we couldn't send anyone in,

but he never said we
couldn't pull someone out.

Claire, what's the name of
your little friend down there?

Lysella.

We're gonna bring her
aboard the Orville.

Oh, my... God.

It's incredible.

It's so big.

The Orville's only midsize.

You should see the heavy cruisers.

I'll just hang onto that
until we take you home.

But nobody's gonna believe
me if I don't have pictures.

Exactly.

We're sorry to turn your
world upside down like this,

but we need your help.

Believe me, this is the coolest thing

that has ever happened to me.

What are they again?

Commander Bortus is a member
of a species called Moclan.

I am an artificial

life-form from a planet called Kaylon.

Wow.

Bortus, can you make a note?

We should have, like,
pretzels and water and stuff

on the table when people come in here.

- Noted, Captain. I will not fail you.
- Great.

Lysella, what can you tell us
about your planet that might

help us figure out a way to save John?

Your world is...

hard to get a handle on.

How so?

Well, the voting and rating.

Those badges... you all wear them?

Yeah. You get one when you turn 18,

and then, you wear it
for the rest of your life.

It's how we can tell
who's good and who's bad.

So this is an absolute democracy?

Yeah. How does your world work?

We select representatives
who discuss issues

and enact laws.

But what about everybody else?

Everybody deserves a voice.

That's what we're taught.

A voice should be earned,

not given away.

How do you know...

what foods are healthiest
for your children,

or what medicine to take if you're sick?

- We vote.
- I believe

you are confusing
opinion with knowledge.

I think what he's asking is,
with so many voices at once,

how do you filter out the truth?

Well, my dad always says,
"The majority are the truth."

I mean, you always know
what the majority wants.

That's what matters.

Well, you always know
what the mob wants, too.

And right now, the mob wants
to lobotomize my navigator.

Now, there must be some way to...

influence the mass perception
before it's too late.

Well... everybody reads the Master Feed.

What's the Master Feed?

It's a continuously
streaming opinion feed.

We saw them everywhere.

Could this... Feed turn the
public tide in John's favor?

Well, yeah, but everybody uses the Feed.

I mean, how are you gonna
get millions of people

to change their minds?

I believe I have a suggestion.

Oh, hell, no. Hell, no.

- Y'all not putting me in that thing! Get off me!
- Hey.

- Hey, take it easy!
- Hey! hey!

Um, tell me they got this!

- How much time?
- Final Vote begins

in... seven minutes.

Grayson to Orville.
We're running out of time.

Stand by. Isaac, what's your status?

I have gained access

- to the Master Feed.
- All right, Lysella,

what kind of stuff would
endear him to your people?

Um,... you could say he supports
his grandmother financially.

- Do it.
- But make sure you word it right.

Like say, "Oh, my God, I just found out

John Lamarr supports his
90-year-old grandmother."

Flooding the Feed with
20 million entries.

How can you do that?

- Babe. Spaceship.
- All right, what else?

If he was an overweight
kid, that would help.

Access childhood image of John.

Ugh. Crap, that's no good.
Isaac, can you make him fatter?

That's better.

People will like him now.

Flooding the Feed with the image.

The entries are
spreading and multiplying.

People are sharing them.

What if people try to corroborate

all this information?

Don't worry. They won't.

Final Vote has begun.

Ed, we're out of time.

- What else? We need something else!
- Um...

No, no, no, no, no, no. No!

No. Come on! No!

Tell them he has slain
many enemies in battle.

Or you could just say he's a veteran.

What if he has a dog named Chuckles?

Yes, that's great.
People love those videos

of soldiers reuniting with their pets.

Access military attire for the
planet and simulate the video.

Oh, Chuckles. Oh, Chuckles, come here!

Yeah. Yeah!

Oh, my God, Chuckles,

I missed you so much! I'm so happy

to be reunited with you.

Oh, Chuckles, I missed
you when I was at war.

That's tuggin' at these heartstrings.

Flood the Feed with that.

I don't believe it.

John, you won!

You're damn right I won!

Now get this crap off of me,
you crazy sons of bitches!

According to the Feed,

Lieutenant Lamarr has
escaped punishment.

Come on, John. Let's
get you out of here.

- Congratulations!
- Real quick,

I just want to say,
all y'all can suck ass,

and I'm a spaceman.

I...

Lysella, thank you.

No. Thank you for...

letting me see all of this.

I just wish I could tell somebody.

Well, maybe all you
need to tell them is that

their world can do better.

I think I speak for all
of our viewers when I say

that what you have done is
shocking to say the least.

But, of course, that's
for the people to decide.

That's all the time we have for today.

Don't forget to cast your votes,
and we'll see you tomorrow.

- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -