All language subtitles for New.Amsterdam.2018.S01E09.As.Long.As.It.Takes.720p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb

- I found a clinical trial.

Precision-targeted
immunotherapy.

It's led by Dr. Panthaki
at St. Simon's.

He's highly regarded.

And, unlike radiation
and chemo,

it comes with no debilitating
side effects.

- That sounds perfect.

- It's exactly what he wanted.

- All right.
Dr. Sharpe gets it done.

- Which is the difference
between me and this trial.

Because precision therapy
might not work.

- Your objection is noted.
Again.

- Yes, radiation chemotherapy
is challenging,

but it's--
- It's brutal.

It's--It's hitting yourself with
a brick over and over again

and hoping the cancer
dies first.

- That's the point.

The cancer dies.

Radiation
and chemotherapy work.

Precision therapy is like
gambling your life

on a lottery ticket.

- People said the same thing
about bone marrow transplants.

- They also say it
about lottery tickets.

- Enough.

Is this what you really want?

- She's right.

Chemo and radiation,
they work.

They do the job.

But...they'll break me.

No matter how strong I am.

I'll lose my hearing.

My sight.

I'll lose my mind.

They don't always come back.

And I have so many things...

that I need to do.

- So let's get in the trial.

- So let's get in the trial.

- Uh, so?

- What? Oh, sorry,
I didn't see you there.

- You know what, an email
would have covered it,

maybe even a text.

But now we're here in person

you should definitely
be groveling.

Evie and I were up all night.

- You stallion.

- Fighting.

Look, I'm not trying
to be a jerk here,

but telling Evie
that we used to--

- I know.
- It wasn't cool.

- I said I know.

- What you should be saying
is, "I am sorry."

- I am. I'm sorry.

- You don't sound sorry.

- Look, can we just not
have this be a thing, okay?

- You know what,
you're the one who said

that we can be friends.

This doesn't feel like friends.

- Early morning rush
started early.

- You got some nerve.

- It's French vanilla.

- Like hell it is.

- Eh, maybe hazelnut?

- You're mothering me
or babying me.

Whichever one it is, stop it.

- Are you okay?

- You're doing it again.

What do we got?

- This is LaDavius Powell.

45-year-old man with new onset

right-side abdominal pain.

No meds, no past
medical history,

allergic to Cephilicam.

- Cephilicam?
- Fancy penicillin.

Bay 23, step lively.
- Cephilicam.

- Sarah Madsen.

36-year-old woman found
down on the sidewalk.

Unresponsive, hypotensive.

BP 90 over palp,
heart rate 120.

Said New Amsterdam
was her hospital.

- Okay, looks like
previous heart surgery.

Find her medical records.

- Drew this in the field.

- Why is the blood so diluted?

- No idea. No sign of bleeding.

- The blood's gotta be
going somewhere.

Page Dr. Sharpe.

We gotta get on this
or she's not gonna make it.

- Maximus, today
is one of those days

that makes it all worth it,
you know?

It's one of those days
you jump out of bed excited

because you just know...

- It's gonna be
one of those days.

- Yes! Yes, in a big,
big way.

Are you feeling it too?

- I am feeling it.

I got a meeting
with the nurses' union

about insurance
and birth control.

- Eh, so not so much.

- Nah, it'll be good.
What do you got?

- Me, I have
a transitioning teen

coming in with his parents.

And you know,
society is not kind

to trans teens.

Bullying, cultural stigma,
hate crimes,

which all leads to depression,

which way too often
leads to suicide--

- Sorry, this is
your happy day?

- No, no, my happy day
is what happens

when these kids
get to feel heard.

Today I get to help somebody
find out who they are.

I get to help somebody
find their voice.

- Happy day indeed.
- Indeed.

- Yeah, so I'm good
with the whole voice thing,

like, got it, found it.

Fine with it.
I've got...

other issues here.

- Oh.

Okay.

Uh, what are they?

- Exhibit those.

Parents.

- All right.

Jillian, Grant?

Care to elaborate?

- Well, Dr. Frome,
Shay says he's ready

for top surgery.

But we--
- But they won't let me get it.

I mean, how's that
for withholding?

- Shay, that's not fair.
- We have concerns.

- See, Doc?

Issues.

I mean...

help me out here.

- We could do a sit-in.
At shift change.

- Bigger.
- Picket HCC's office.

- Bigger.

You want to keep
your birth control coverage?

Then kick 'em where it hurts.

- Excuse me, Max,

can I have a word please?
- All right.

Keep thinking.

Kick some ass
for the working class!

Did you hear from Dr. Panthaki?

- No, this isn't
about the trial.

Dr. Bloom asked me to consult
on a hematology patient.

Turns out that she was
a heart transplant recipient

here, 27 years ago.

- And?

- Her file says that she
received her heart

from a "Luna Goodwin."

Your sister.

- She's fading fast.

We've already infused two units
of packed red cells

with a pressure bag
but she's still net negative.

I would give her
a plasma expander,

but her hematocrit's
already in the toilet.

I mean, that's just gonna
make it crash even more.

The usual production-
destruction algorithm

doesn't seem to apply to her.

- Let's order up two more units
from the blood bank

and let's get a second
large bore IV line.

Give me a little Trendelenburg.

- How can I help?

- That's where all the blood
is going.

Sarah's right thigh.

- Why is she bleeding
in the first place?

- There's no localized source.

- No cuts, lacerations,

blown arterial aneurysm?

- No, every organ just

seems to be oozing blood.

- Elevated PTT?

- It's barely out
of the normal range.

- Yeah, but put that together

with why she's bleeding
so much.

- Um, acquired hemophilia?

- Her clotting factor eight
isn't working.

That's why she's bleeding.

- Rare, but it would
explain it.

- That's good.

I'm really thirsty.

- Uh, uh, uh...

She's thirsty. Can we
get her some water, nurse?

- Uh, let's hold off on that.

- Uh, Ms. Madsen, I--

- I had a heart transplant.

At my last check-up
my doctor said

that my cyclosporin levels
were low

and I've been worried that
my body's rejecting my heart.

Could that be causing this?

- That wouldn't explain
the bleeding.

But it might explain
why the bleeding's

been making you so sick.

- How sick am I?

- I'm afraid
acquired hemophilia

is quite serious.

- But we're gonna fix it, okay?

Uh, nurses are gonna
take you up to ICU right now.

We're gonna start treatment
and you're gonna do great.

- Thank you.

- Are you okay?

- Uh, once the bleeding
is stabilized

get me a transvenous
heart biopsy.

Tell me everything you can
about that heart.

- Max.

- You type so fast!

Like Matthew Broderick
in "WarGames."

- No idea who or what that is.

Boom. Now you're on Twitter.

See? That's me right there.

- @ShayMyName2018?

- Yeah. Silly name, I know.

- You have 27,000 followers?

- Yeah. Crazy, right?

They've been following me
since the beginning

of my transition.

It's a--it's a real community.

They support me.

Keep me real.
- I had no idea.

- Yeah, they can't wait for me

to get top surgery.

Now we're just waiting
for Dr. Frome

to, you know, do his thing.

- You don't understand.

We love Shay.

We have been supportive
of his transition

from the beginning.

- The new haircut,
the new clothes.

Even the hormone blockers.

We never pushed back, not once.

- But surgery?
It's so permanent.

- Well, you know, um...

Top surgery is the most common

gender-confirmation surgery
for trans men.

Having a body that doesn't
reflect your gender...

That can be deeply unsettling.

- Of course. We know.

It's just--
- Okay, I'm just gonna say it.

He's not even old enough
to drive a car.

He's not old enough to get
into R-rated movies,

and he's not old enough
to decide on his own

to get permanent surgery.

- It's okay, it's okay.

This is exactly where we can

talk about all of this.

So why don't you guys tell me

a little bit about Shay

before he came out?

- It was hard.

He was anxious all the time.

Sometimes he had trouble
getting out of bed.

- What about after he started
to socially transition?

- He started smiling.

Making friends.

And when he started
the hormone blockers

he said he felt like himself
for the first time.

- Yeah.

- My baby was 14 and he had
never felt like himself.

- And we're grateful he does.

But when we said no to surgery,

you know what he did?

He threw a GoFundMe on Twitter

to ask his followers
to pay for it.

And they did.

- We're proud that he is a voice

for a community.

But he's just a kid.

Our kid.

Please tell him
he can't do this.

- All right, I-I understand
that you are overwhelmed.

But the positive changes
in Shay since transitioning

are undeniable.

And emotionally?

I gotta say, I think the
emotions that matter most here

are his. So...

I am going to approve
a medical evaluation

for surgery.

- My son has been sober
for a year.

- Oh, that's terrific.

- He has shown great strength.

More than I knew he had.

I should have had more faith.

- It's never too late.

Peanuts?

- Barbecue or Tangy Fiesta?

- Tangy Fiesta.

- I would like to give Rohan
a gift.

Show my support.
- Yeah.

- But recently my gifts
have been

completely misunderstood.

- I hear that.

And families see agendas
in everything.

What you thinking?

- An apartment.

Just a small one.
Nothing too fancy.

- Yeah, you wouldn't want to
spoil him with a fancy one.

I have been a doctor
for the last 40 years.

I've had more money
than I know what to do with.

- It's a beautiful idea.

Use your money to help
someone you care about.

What else is it for, right?

- Hey.

- Hey. Thanks for coming.

- Is that her?
- Mm-hmm.

She had the transplant here.

She's been coming back
ever since.

I didn't even know...

Luna was an organ donor.

- It probably wasn't
the easiest thing

for your parents to talk about.

- My parents didn't even
take me to the funeral.

They just kinda shut the door.

- Hey.

Have you told her who you are?

- No, she has enough
on her mind.

It's not about me.

- Isn't it?

- Luna's heart...

is beating.

Right over there.

And the amazing thing is,

she gets another chance.

30 years ago, the doctors here

let Luna's heart stop.

Not this time.

- Hey. Uh, Evie.

Sorry to bother you.

- Slogging through the...

madness of malpractice claims.

- Oh. Not my department,
I hope.

I always hide the bodies
when I'm done.

I--that was not even
a little bit funny.

Okay, uh, listen.

The other day
when I mentioned that

Reynolds and I, we...

we kinda had this, uh,

fling?

That was, uh,
that was bad form.

To bring that up.

I mean, I totally
betrayed the...

sisterhood of...

sisters.

Or whatever.

I think you and Reynolds
are perfect for each other.

I mean that's--that's why I
introduced the two of you, so.

- Let me bail you out here.

- Oh, great, please hurry.

- I know Floyd had a life
before me.

I'm glad he did.

I just need to know
if you two are over.

- Oh. Oh, we're over.

We are the very definition
of over.

- I like Floyd.

But I've made bad bets before.

So if you really are
a card-carrying member

of the sisterhood of sisters,

you won't let me do it again.

Because I do not have time.

So are you and Floyd done?

- Evie.

It is not something
that you have to worry about.

Okay?

- Then I won't.

- Okay.

- That looks fun.

- This, uh, infusion

replaces the clotting factor
that your body is destroying.

- So you can just replace it?
It's that simple?

- Unfortunately,
it's not simple at all.

- Uh, but it's very doable.

It's been done successfully
many times.

- We need to infuse the factor

at the exact same rate that
your body is destroying it,

which is an incredibly
difficult rate to find.

- But again, doable.

- Too much factor
and your blood will clot.

You could suffer a stroke.

Or a heart attack.

Too little and you could
start to bleed again.

- Which we won't let happen.

I'll be doing a blood test
called the PTT.

I'll be drawing it
from the central line

every 20 minutes,
and then based on

the results, I will adjust
the rate of infusion.

- Will that take a long time?

- Yes, it will.
- Uh, hopefully not.

- It's not something that
we can definitively know.

- Yeah, but however long
it may take,

I will be here by your side

night and day

till we get it right.

- Why me?

- Excuse me?

- Well, um, you're
the Medical Director

of the entire hospital.

You're dropping everything
for me, Dr., um...

- Uh, Goodwin. Max.

Um...

Just an interesting case.

- Dr. Goodwin, Dr. Sharpe.

Could I have a minute?

- Excuse us.

- I, uh, I got the results

from Sarah's heart biopsy.

The heart muscle showed
both fibrosis

and T-lymphocyte infiltration.

It's Grade 4.

- Well, it doesn't
get much worse.

- Okay, so we up
the cyclosporin dose.

- Why would we--
- If we up the dose

and we add pulse steroids.

And we look for an
anti T-cell agent--

- That's out of the question.

Look, the stress
from Sarah's hemophilia

has ravaged her heart.

- So un-ravage it.

I gave you a whole
cardio department.

Use it, because we sure as hell

aren't going to just sit here--

- Max.
- What?

- Luna's heart is dying.

It's gone.

- That's my sister's heart.

We have to save it.

- No.

We have to save Sarah.

And the only thing
that's gonna do that

is a new heart.

Because the old one

is out of time.

- The waiting list for
heart transplants isn't short,

but the good news is
you're at the top.

And priority goes
to the most severe cases

that can withstand
a transplant.

- Wow. That's, uh, great.
Also...

totally terrifying.

- Right. So, uh...

OTF gets us a heart.

We fix the hemophilia, and...

you walk out of here.

That's the plan.
- I like the plan.

- Me too, so...

Hang in there.

- Question.

Sorry, this is kind of weird.

- No. I'm your doctor,
you can ask me anything.

- Did you have a sister?

You're Luna's brother.

- How did you know?

- Your sister gave me
her heart.

My...folks told me
all about her.

Her family.

When you said your name, I...

- It didn't seem, uh,
fair to...

say anything.

You need to focus on you.

And, uh, really,
we are strangers.

I mean, we've never even
met before.

- Yeah, we did.

You don't remember?

- Sorry, no.
Where did we meet?

- We met in Cold Spring.

- Oh.

Wow, I haven't thought about

Cold Spring in...years.

We used to go there
on the weekends.

There was this dock.

My sister and I would jump off

and we thought we were...

You know,

cliff divers.
We loved it.

- Yeah, I know.

That's, uh...

that's where I saw you.

At Luna's funeral.

- No, I...

I didn't go to the funeral.

- You--you did.

It was in Cold Spring
a week after the transplant.

After the funeral I, uh,
I saw you on that dock.

Skipping stones.

Well, you were trying
to skip stones.

You were...

You were really bad at it.

So I went up and I asked you
how the stones were going.

You said--
I'll never forget.

Your sister promised
to teach you.

The next time you came.

It was the first time
it hit me.

I was only here
'cause another girl wasn't.

So I showed you.

- You taught me
how to skip stones.

- Yeah.

- I got Mad Libs.

I just--I couldn't believe
they still publish these.

- See anything you like?

- My patient needs a study

that's going to
deliver results.

I'm more intrigued
by what I don't see.

Definitive conclusions.

- Well, my sample size
isn't large enough

for that kind of certainty, but

I like where we're heading.

- Strong words

from someone failing
more than he succeeds.

- It's cancer.

I'll take any wins I can get.

And each success gets me
a little closer to a cure.

- Well, you know what they say.

Close only counts in horseshoes
and hand grenades.

- And a couple other things.

- You must know your reputation
precedes you.

- My reputation for
exceptional results?

- Your reputation for
exceptional charisma

and aptitude for salesmanship.
And I am immune.

Because I have
the same reputation.

I'm only paying attention
to the numbers.

- You got your file
upside down.

Made you look.

- What would you say
to somebody who says

you sell quixotic hope in lieu
of medical certainty?

- I'd say that someone
is right.

Clinical trials are riskier
than chemo.

They're also the only way
to find a treatment

better than chemo.

Yeah, they're quixotic,
and yeah,

most of the time
it doesn't work.

But when it does,

it's gonna change the world.

- But it may never work.

- Even Don Quixote
hit a couple of windmills.

- He lunged at one and then
promptly fell off his horse.

How soon will you know
if my patient's eligible?

- Max Goodwin.

You're treating your boss.

- No, I'm treating my patient,

who also happens
to be my friend.

- I have to warn you,
I don't accept patients

based on prominence.

The integrity of the study
is too important.

- Of course.

- And at first glance,
this is not a great fit.

That's not a "no."

Give me a beat,
let me get into it.

I'll get back to you.

- Thank you for your honesty.

- And you for yours.

Even though you were
a little bit mean.

- Okay. This...

is you.

- Do you mind if I Insta this?

- Eh.

Ah, what the heck. Yeah.

Just, uh, no video, okay?

All right, so.

Do you see the dark spots
here on the ends?

Those are your
epiphyseal plates.

That's the stuff inside
your bones

that does all the growing.

Now, looking at this,

we can estimate more or less
how much more growing

you are going to do.

- So how tall am I gonna be?

- I'm pleased to report, tall.

Not, uh, NBA tall.

But, you know, top shelf tall.

- #Topshelftall...

- Yes, you are
in very good health, Shay.

All the doctors here agree

that you will be a prime
candidate for top surgery

in about a year.

- A year?

- Yeah. I mean, I know
you were hoping

for something a little sooner,

but, uh, we have to take
medical into consideration.

It's surgery.

- Now you sound
just like my parents.

- Listen, you've only been
on hormone blockers

for about six months.

We need to see how it affects
your breast tissue

before we can decide what
surgery will be right for you.

- So a cisgender doctor
gets to tell me

what's right for me.

Okay. Got it.

Got it.

- All right.

I hear that you're upset,

but I need you to hear me

when I tell you that I want you
to have the surgery.

I said so to your parents.

- Screw this.

And screw you.

- Okay, thanks.

Bye.

- What's wrong?

- Oh, I'm fine.

- Please, what's the matter?

- Nope, it's nothing.

Honestly.

My dog, Gertie, has cancer.

- I'm so sorry.

- Is there anything to be done?
- No.

I mean, surgery, but...

It costs more than I make
in a month.

I'm gonna have to put
my little girl to sleep

unless I can come up
with $2,000.

I'm sorry.

You do not need to be
thinking about this.

I'm fine, thank you.

Hey, Becky,
I'm gonna take five.

- Okay, we're starting
to back up down here.

Turan, help me clear
some space.

What do you got?

- Got an upper GI
bleeder in curtains.

Waiting on GI.

- Hemodynamically stable?
- Yes.

- Then send him home.

He can get a scope
as an outpatient.

- And a weak and dizzy
in Bay 13.

- I'll meet you there.

- Surgery cleared him
for conservative treatment.

- Okay.

We're gonna treat you
with medicine, Mr. Powell.

No surgery. So we'll get you
out of here real soon.

Sound good?

Sound good?

- And we'll give you something
for the nausea.

Start Cephilicam, and when
he can eat and drink

he can go home.

Casey, uh, did you give
Mr. Powell...

- Levofloxacin
plus metronidazole.

Just like you said.

- Right.
Just like I said.

Great.

- Need me to make
any other adjustments?

- No.

- Thank you again,
Dr. Kleinman.

I know that
this is moving fast,

but, uh, Sarah Madsen's case

is the definition
of time-sensitive.

- Mm-hmm.
- I've spoken to

one of your reps over
at OTF already

and they have agreed
to move Sarah

to the top
of the transplant list.

- Hmm.
- We have a viable donor

in our ICU right now,

a brain-dead MVA, actually.

And so go ahead and say
the word, and we--

- I'm going to stop you
right there.

- Okay?

- I'm certainly impressed

with your due diligence,

your patient's hemophilia

is too compromising.

She isn't healthy enough

to receive a new heart.

I'm very sorry.

- No, so--wait a minute,
wait a minute.

Uh, on paper, yes.

I see what you see.
But, uh, this woman...

This woman, she can do this.
Believe me.

Will you tell her?

- Her INR and creatinine
clearance are normal.

Hepatic function excellent.

Her--Her kidneys are fine.

- Right, and she has never
shown any signs

of bone marrow suppression.

- Dr. Goodwin,
this isn't personal.

OTF has strict requirements
to ensure healthy organs

are not placed into bodies
that cannot support them.

Plain and simple.

Sarah Madsen does not qualify.

- No, wait, wait, wait.

Sorry.

There has gotta be
something that I can do

to convince you
to give Sarah this heart.

- She needs to complete three
normal-range PTT tests

in a row.

- Consider it done.

- She's not gonna make it, Max.
- Yeah, well,

it's gonna be hard--
- She could barely pass

one PTT three hours ago.

The chances of her
passing three in a row

before her heart gives out?

- So...

You said that passing

one of these tests
would be hard.

- It will be.

- Well, I freaking hate
failing tests.

- Oh, yeah, like you'd know.

My wife seems like
this cool New York chick.

"Oh, I'm a social worker.

Look at my cool haircut."
- [laughing] Okay.

Okay, you know,

you dye your hair purple once,

you never hear the end of it.

- But she is a nerd.

She has never failed a test.

Not once in her whole life.

- The X means a failed PTT, so.

We'll try again.

- Hey.

- Hey.

Forget it.

- What? Wait.
Wha--

We, uh,

we need to talk about

what happened with Mr. Powell.

What I did with Mr. Powell.

That was, uh...

That was unacceptable.

Are you...

angry?

- I'm not angry.

- Well, why are you
standing there with a face

like I just kicked your dog?

- It's just my face.

- Hey, I am trying
to apologize here.

Okay, I'm sorry. I...

I do apologize, okay?

You came through huge
for me today,

and if you hadn't, then...

I would never have
forgiven myself.

Okay?

It won't happen again.

You know I'm not
that kind of doctor.

- It's happened before.

- What?

- I correct your EMRs.

Put patient notes
on the right charts.

Pull doubles when you
leave holes in scheduling.

- Okay, well,
that's just paperwork.

That's not exhaustion.
That's normal.

Okay? So once or twice
I screw up some red tape--

- It happens all the time.

And it's been getting worse.

- No. That can't be right.

- Dr. Bloom...

I think you may need help.

- I'm just tired, okay?

just an RX from Dr. Sleep
and I'll--

- Mr. Powell could have died.

- Gladys, yes, I knew
you'd come around.

This falafel is a revelation.

- Something may have happened

on the internet.

- Okay, well, the internet

is a big place, Gladys.

Might want to be
a little more specific.

- "Dr. Frome blocked
my top surgery.

Dr. Iggy Frome hates
the trans community."

- What? What is that?

- Tweets.
- Tweets?

- "What a typical
white cis-male move.

Dr. Frome's nothing
but a transphobic loser."

- What? Give me that.
Let me see that.

- And there are so many more.

Like, hundreds of them.

- Merci, merci,
from Pain de Vie.

Before you say anything,

I would like to pretend

that earlier never happened.

- Ella.
- Uh, cappuccino, extra dry.

Coming up.

Uh, you have any nice
evening plans?

What is this?

- Please.

Oh, Dr. Kapoor,
I can't take that.

- For Gertie.
- No. No.

I can't. That's too much.

- I was told to use my money

to help people I care about.

What else is this for?

Please.

- Thank you.

- Dr. Stiles to trauma center.

Dr. Stiles to trauma center.

- I picked a bad time
to start failing tests.

- I'm not giving up.
Are you?

- You need to know it's okay.

- What's okay?

- That I'm gonna die.

- No.

No. See, I'm a maestro
at this.

So you're not gonna...

- Right after my transplant,

my dad asked me
what I'd want to do

if I could do anything.

I said I wanted to be a pirate.

So my parents sold a car,

got a loan,

and we spent a month
on a boat in the Bahamas.

It was insane.

We couldn't afford it.

But at the end of that trip

I wasn't a sick kid anymore.

You know why I wanted
to be a pirate?

Me neither.

I never did before the surgery.

I always thought...

maybe it was Luna.

I have to tell you...

Luna's heart didn't always
have the best taste in guys.

But it skipped a beat
when she met Andy.

It's like she picked him out
just for me.

Me and Luna learned
what it felt like

to be in love.

I have a job
where I help people.

I've been all over the world.

I ran a half-marathon even
though people told me not to.

Last year I won
a watermelon-eating contest.

Which is a real thing
and I love them.

That's why it's okay.

If it's time for me to go.

Your sister...

She gave me a beautiful life.

- It's the other way around.

- There's a rhythm
in rush these days

Where the lights
don't move

And the colors don't fade

Sometimes there's things
a man cannot know

Gears won't turn
and the train won't leave

I will stay with you
tonight

There is a truth
and it's on our side

Dawn is coming,
open your eyes

Look into the sun
as the new days rise

There's a rhythm in rush
these days

Look into the sun
as the new days rise

- You just lost a follower.

- Okay.

I saw what you said
about me online.

I was, um, surprised.

My husband read those tweets.

My co-workers. My friends.

And if you Google me right now,

that is the number one thing
that pops up.

Shay, I'm not here
to shame you.

I'm not here to yell at you.

But I would like you
to look at me.

Please.

Do you really think
that I'm anti-trans?

- I knew it would make people
upset when I posted it.

But I did it anyways.

I...

I don't even really know why
I posted it.

- Yeah, social media's weird.

You know, it's like...

we're not even us
when we're on it.

It's like we're the thing
that we wish we were.

Or even worse,

we're the thing that we think
others want us to be.

Yeah, I scrolled through
your tweets.

It's powerful stuff.

- I guess.

- No, no, you--
it's easy to see why

you have so many followers.

It's pretty intense.

I think it was your GoFundMe
campaign for your surgery

that really put you on the map.

You got a lot of followers

that are very excited
about that.

So...

the rush for surgery,

the anger when I advised you
to wait...

do you think maybe

that's really more about you

being scared to let
your followers down?

- They're all counting on me
to get it.

And I told them I would.

I mean, now,
if I make them wait, it's...

Let 'em wait. I mean...

Shay, I'm not--

I'm not telling you anything

you don't already know.

How and when you transition

is about you.

You're not gonna let some troll

bully you out of a choice.

So you can't let the fans
do it either.

Even the ones that mean well.

And, dude, I'm telling you,

you are going to have exactly

zero problems
helping people understand.

You are extremely gifted
at Twitter.

As my Google hits would prove.

And hey, in a year,

if you want the surgery,

I'll be right there with you.

- Doctor.

You all right?

- It's not something
you have to worry about.

- Come on, Sarah.

Just one more.

You can do it, Sarah.

Sarah.

- You're a very good brother.

- Nobody has ever
said that to me.

Sarah.

You did it.

You did it!

Um, um,

can I get the, uh,
transplant team?

Now?
- Max.

- Okay, we gotta get--
- What? What?

- Here, listen to her.

Listen.

Luna.

She did it.

Come here.

♪

- Hello?
- Sharpe?

Panthaki. Got good news
and good news.

Dr. Goodwin is a candidate
for therapy.

- He'll be thrilled to hear it.

What's the other good news?

- I'm on my way to your office.

- You are?

- I have to pick up
his cell samples

and give you some paperwork.

- Oh, well, uh, I-I'm sure we
can have someone pick that up.

- It's too risky.

See, this paperwork includes

two tickets to see
Lauryn Hill at BAM.

Hey, if, uh, if I was
off-base here,

I apologize. I just, uh...

- I was just thinking about

what to do with
the extra ticket.

- Well, I might have
a suggestion.

- Dr. Mendez, ER One.

Dr. Mendez to ER One.

- How's she doing?

- Really well.

Thanks to you.

- Good.

The next few weeks
are critical, so

stay close to her.

And keep us informed.

- My wife is an optimist.

And the minute
she found out

that it was your sister,

she had me arrange this.

It's her way of thanking
you both.

- Oh, I've just come

From the land of the sun

From a war
that must be won

In the name of truth

With our soldiers
so brave

Your freedom we will save

With our rifles
and grenades

And some help
from God

I want to see my family

My wife and child
are waiting for me

I've got to go home

I've been so alone you see

You just can't believe

The joy I did receive

When I finally
got my leave

And I was going home

Oh, I flew through the sky

And my convictions
could not lie

I want to see my family

- Max?

Oh, my God.

Max.

Max!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

Help!

Help!

Someone!

Anyone!

Oh, my God.

Anyone...

Help!