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WEBVTT
00:06.000 --> 00:12.074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
00:13.681 --> 00:17.383
Oh my god, don't do that.
00:17.385 --> 00:20.619
Don't do... this?
00:20.621 --> 00:25.457
Yes!
Don't do that some more.
00:25.459 --> 00:28.227
Tell me.
00:28.229 --> 00:29.962
Or I won't do this.
00:29.964 --> 00:31.497
Okay.
00:31.699 --> 00:34.600
All I know is he's in D.C.
Buying some company.
00:34.602 --> 00:36.736
Don't stop!
00:36.738 --> 00:39.405
No. I'm stopping.
00:40.507 --> 00:44.910
Ryan, if I wanted to talk business
I'd have sex with my husband.
00:46.679 --> 00:48.614
Which company?
00:50.818 --> 00:53.118
Hi, Donald and Veronica
can't come...
00:53.720 --> 00:55.354
Veronica? It's me.
00:55.356 --> 00:57.289
- My god, it's Donald!
- Pick it up.
00:57.291 --> 00:59.324
Call me when you get back.
00:59.326 --> 01:00.726
- Hi, sweetie.
- Hey, baby.
01:00.728 --> 01:03.429
I was about to hang up.
Whatcha doing?
01:03.431 --> 01:06.065
Uh...
having my nails done.
01:06.067 --> 01:09.068
I wanted to tell you my plane's landing
in an hour. I'm gonna play a quick 18,
01:09.070 --> 01:12.738
- then we'll go to dinner, okay?
- Okay.
01:12.740 --> 01:15.707
Listen, sweetie, I gotta run.
01:15.709 --> 01:17.576
My manicurist is
givin' me dirty looks.
01:17.578 --> 01:20.212
- I'll see you tonight.
- All right, talk to you then.
01:21.481 --> 01:23.182
I gotta run, too.
01:23.184 --> 01:25.684
Why?! We have all afternoon.
Donald's playing golf.
01:25.686 --> 01:28.087
I know.
I'm playing with him.
01:28.089 --> 01:29.121
What?!
01:34.427 --> 01:36.862
Let's head for long island.
01:46.706 --> 01:49.174
Beautiful shot!
01:49.176 --> 01:52.344
200 yards.
Right at the flag.
01:52.346 --> 01:56.682
Keep your compliments coming,
and your balls in the rough.
01:57.684 --> 02:00.119
I'll do my worst, sir.
02:05.658 --> 02:07.459
Where'd you learn
to swing like that?
02:07.461 --> 02:09.261
Business school.
02:13.900 --> 02:15.801
How'd things go
in D.C.?
02:15.803 --> 02:16.769
After our little meeting,
02:16.771 --> 02:19.838
and the half a million
additional shares I purchased,
02:19.840 --> 02:21.573
we have full cooperation
02:21.575 --> 02:23.242
from the Jasco
Pharmaceuticals Board.
02:23.244 --> 02:25.878
Sir, that much stock'll put you
over the limit.
02:25.880 --> 02:28.347
Not if you don't buy it
in your own name.
02:28.349 --> 02:31.683
Sounds like simpson publishing's
involved in a merger.
02:34.420 --> 02:38.357
Watch CNBC tomorrow morning.
02:43.630 --> 02:47.232
Cindy, what do you say
we get drinks tonight?
02:48.301 --> 02:49.902
Never.
02:49.904 --> 02:51.870
Great, raincheck it is, then.
02:51.872 --> 02:54.940
Ryan turner's on line one.
02:54.942 --> 02:57.276
Hey, gorgeous.
02:57.278 --> 02:59.611
Hey, honey.
What are you doing?
02:59.613 --> 03:02.181
You... in about eight hours.
03:02.183 --> 03:05.184
Oh, Ryan,
03:05.186 --> 03:07.953
you are so romantic.
03:07.955 --> 03:09.955
- I know.
- Are we still on for dinner?
03:09.957 --> 03:12.257
Yes, we are.
I'll meet you there at 8:00.
03:12.259 --> 03:14.593
And wait till you see what
I have planned for dessert.
03:14.595 --> 03:17.563
Oooh, I'll bring the cherry.
03:17.565 --> 03:19.231
- I wish.
- Bye.
03:21.434 --> 03:23.435
I understand the possibility
03:23.437 --> 03:25.971
of breaking a nail
is looming over every word,
03:25.973 --> 03:27.606
but your deadline is...
03:27.608 --> 03:28.874
now.
03:28.876 --> 03:30.642
Okay! Jeez!
03:30.644 --> 03:32.911
Why does everybody
want something from me?
03:32.913 --> 03:34.913
You write an advice column?
03:34.915 --> 03:37.583
I have problems too, you know.
03:37.585 --> 03:38.884
Yes, I know.
03:38.886 --> 03:40.953
I mean, listen to this letter,
03:41.955 --> 03:44.856
"Dear Cindy, I want
to go back to school,
03:44.858 --> 03:47.926
but my husband is against it.
What should I do?"
03:47.928 --> 03:50.262
I mean, this woman
is such a mess.
03:50.264 --> 03:51.897
So what did you tell her?
03:54.567 --> 03:58.737
"Why do you need school?
You have a husband.
03:58.739 --> 04:01.807
If you want to feel
better about yourself, do charity work.
04:01.809 --> 04:03.842
Go build hairdo's
for the homeless,
04:03.844 --> 04:05.978
better yet,
go get your own hair done."
04:05.980 --> 04:07.846
This woman pours
her heart out to you,
04:07.848 --> 04:09.648
and you give her beauty tips?
04:09.650 --> 04:10.949
What's wrong here?
04:10.951 --> 04:13.518
I haven't given you any.
04:13.520 --> 04:16.521
Cindy, this is
a quality newspaper.
04:16.523 --> 04:20.926
Page, we're not friends,
so I can be honest with you.
04:20.928 --> 04:23.495
My grandmother's legs
had better circulation
04:23.497 --> 04:26.865
than this "quality" newspaper.
no one even buys it.
04:26.867 --> 04:29.568
Then I would be happy
to buy out your contract.
04:29.570 --> 04:31.670
I wish!
04:31.672 --> 04:33.905
But we both know you're flat...
04:33.907 --> 04:35.574
broke.
04:35.576 --> 04:37.943
So you'll just have
to let me do what I do.
04:37.945 --> 04:40.712
With the style, grace,
and femininity
04:40.714 --> 04:42.514
I do it with.
04:49.490 --> 04:52.457
I love it when you sing, honey,
it really turns me on.
04:52.459 --> 04:54.593
Really? ha ha.
where do you want to go shopping?
04:54.595 --> 04:55.861
Whoa!
04:55.863 --> 04:57.562
We're walking here!
04:57.564 --> 04:58.864
Huh?
04:58.866 --> 05:00.799
She's just like my therapist.
05:00.801 --> 05:02.868
Turning everything around
making it seem like
05:02.870 --> 05:05.304
- I'm the one with the problem.
- Then quit.
05:05.306 --> 05:07.044
You said nobody reads
your column anyways.
05:07.070 --> 05:07.973
I can't just quit.
05:07.975 --> 05:12.544
It's not like I have a husband
to take care of me.
05:13.814 --> 05:15.947
So what's with the champagne?
05:17.650 --> 05:19.785
I got information
05:19.787 --> 05:22.821
from donald simpson
about a merger.
05:22.823 --> 05:25.590
It'll make my clients...
and me... a fortune.
05:26.860 --> 05:29.094
If Simpson told you,
isn't that illegal?
05:29.096 --> 05:32.664
No. Donald would never
risk an S.E.C. violation.
05:32.666 --> 05:34.800
I overheard him
and his lawyers.
05:34.802 --> 05:37.469
This is the opportunity
of a lifetime.
05:37.471 --> 05:39.404
I'm even margining
my own portfolio.
05:39.406 --> 05:44.576
- It's buying on credit.
- They don't even give you a card.
05:44.578 --> 05:46.578
- You checked this out?
- Of course.
05:46.580 --> 05:48.613
Simpson himself bought stock...
05:48.615 --> 05:50.482
in his wife's maiden name.
05:50.484 --> 05:53.385
- Which stock?
- Jasco Pharmaceuticals.
05:53.387 --> 05:55.520
They're developing
some anti-aging drug.
05:55.522 --> 05:58.657
When it hits the shelves,
the stock could jump 1000%.
05:58.659 --> 06:00.659
You could still get in.
06:00.661 --> 06:02.794
Nnnn...
06:02.796 --> 06:05.664
Nnn-no! Forget it.
06:05.666 --> 06:07.733
We'll handle anti-aging
the old fashioned way.
06:07.735 --> 06:10.035
Surgery! Right, honey?
06:10.037 --> 06:12.738
Yeah. Whatever.
06:13.340 --> 06:14.739
A toast!
06:15.908 --> 06:17.676
Come on.
06:17.678 --> 06:21.380
To Kathy's new ass,
06:21.382 --> 06:22.981
Barry's successful practice,
06:22.983 --> 06:26.451
and Ryan,
becoming a rich partner,
06:26.453 --> 06:28.587
so we can enjoy the life
we deserve and more.
06:28.589 --> 06:31.590
And more.
06:31.592 --> 06:34.126
And more! and more!
06:43.669 --> 06:44.970
I gotta go.
06:44.972 --> 06:47.639
Where are you going?
Come back here.
06:47.641 --> 06:49.741
Ryan, I love you.
06:49.743 --> 06:52.444
I know. But I've got to go to work.
06:52.446 --> 06:54.513
It's 3:00 a.m.
06:54.515 --> 06:56.648
I've got to call tokyo
before they close.
06:56.650 --> 06:57.649
Feel free to sleep in.
06:57.651 --> 06:58.717
Sleep in?
06:59.319 --> 07:01.386
How about I move in?
07:02.556 --> 07:06.725
I'm serious. We'd get to see
so much more of each other.
07:06.727 --> 07:08.994
I'm ready to have
a doorman in my life.
07:08.996 --> 07:11.830
I like the way things are.
07:11.832 --> 07:15.200
What would you say if I told you
I'd leave you if you didn't let me?
07:15.202 --> 07:17.669
I'd say you were lying.
07:17.671 --> 07:18.770
Oh really?
07:19.872 --> 07:21.840
See?
07:21.842 --> 07:25.677
Ryan, you know me so well.
We belong together.
07:25.679 --> 07:27.512
We are together.
07:33.920 --> 07:37.122
Walt?
07:37.124 --> 07:39.090
Good morning,
Mr. Turner.
07:39.092 --> 07:41.159
You're a doorman, walt.
07:41.161 --> 07:43.228
How good could it possibly be?
07:44.163 --> 07:46.031
Thank you, sir.
07:56.441 --> 07:58.609
Yo, bud.
08:00.179 --> 08:02.714
You got a dollar?
08:02.716 --> 08:04.616
Yeah, millions of them.
08:04.618 --> 08:07.652
Me, too.
08:36.649 --> 08:38.817
Hi, Ryan Turner-san.
08:38.818 --> 08:40.619
Good to hear from you again.
08:40.621 --> 08:43.788
Asahi, Hakashiro-san.
I have got a very lucrative investment
08:43.789 --> 08:45.657
you need to jump on
immediately.
08:48.729 --> 08:51.963
You gonna give bowie
that tidbit as well?
08:51.965 --> 08:55.033
Michael, you know you're
my favorite client.
08:55.035 --> 08:58.303
Bowie's only my favorite client
when I'm on the phone with him.
08:58.305 --> 09:01.240
Well, he does sell more records than me.
doesn't he, Ryan?
09:01.242 --> 09:04.676
Therefore, I want to have
one more share than him. Okay, man?
09:04.678 --> 09:06.945
- Excellent.
- Thank you, Ryan.
09:15.155 --> 09:17.789
Jasco will be up
at least 30 points before noon.
09:17.791 --> 09:19.858
How in the hell
could you know that?
09:19.860 --> 09:21.693
I can't tell you how I know...
09:21.695 --> 09:23.762
Mrs. Ellis is on line two.
09:23.764 --> 09:25.630
Hello, Marlene.
09:25.632 --> 09:27.132
I want Jasco...
09:27.134 --> 09:28.733
good choice.
Excellent choice.
09:28.735 --> 09:30.635
- Don't thank me now.
- But I want to.
09:30.637 --> 09:32.938
If you're on this
side of the world, let's get together.
09:32.940 --> 09:34.673
- It's a date.
- All righty.
09:34.675 --> 09:37.042
Are you in or out?
09:37.044 --> 09:40.645
All right, put me down
for 10,000 shares, market price.
09:40.647 --> 09:42.982
You folks at beacon trade
never let me down before.
09:42.984 --> 09:45.117
Done.
09:45.719 --> 09:48.887
Rumors of a merger
fueled an early morning explosion
09:48.889 --> 09:50.822
of Jasco Pharmaceutical Stock,
09:50.824 --> 09:53.124
but now trading has been halted
09:53.126 --> 09:54.993
because a news conference
has been called.
09:54.995 --> 09:57.662
Yes... yes!
09:57.664 --> 09:59.798
No, I don't know why
he would have done that.
09:59.800 --> 10:03.001
I'm going to look into it.
I'm on top of that, okay?
10:03.003 --> 10:05.303
Thank you for calling.
10:09.141 --> 10:11.276
Morning, sir.
10:11.278 --> 10:13.311
Coffee?
10:13.313 --> 10:14.980
About five hours ago.
10:14.982 --> 10:17.649
File these buy orders,
and get my phone sheet, please.
10:17.651 --> 10:20.785
Ted wants to see you.
10:30.196 --> 10:33.798
You have the audacity
to call amir,
10:33.800 --> 10:35.634
my client,
at 5:00 a.m.?
10:35.636 --> 10:39.204
Carl, while you were
sleeping at 5:00 a.m.
10:39.206 --> 10:41.706
In your moderately
attractive suburban home,
10:41.708 --> 10:44.309
with your moderately
attractive suburban wife,
10:44.311 --> 10:48.813
assuring that my future
would look nothing like yours.
10:48.815 --> 10:51.316
And by the way,
it was afternoon in Kuwait.
10:53.085 --> 10:55.654
Very impressive numbers
this month, Ryan.
10:55.656 --> 10:58.757
Thank you, sir. Wait till you see
the deal I'm working on now.
10:58.759 --> 11:01.059
You keep this up and I can
see a partnership.
11:01.061 --> 11:03.728
I guess we have
the same vision.
11:04.730 --> 11:06.331
Excuse me.
11:06.333 --> 11:09.167
Ryan, Donald Simpson's
holding a press conference.
11:09.169 --> 11:10.335
Yes.
11:12.104 --> 11:13.738
Watch this, sir.
11:15.808 --> 11:18.243
This day is going
to change my life.
11:18.245 --> 11:21.246
Jasco was riding
a tide of speculation,
11:21.248 --> 11:23.081
but the press conference
that just wrapped up
11:23.083 --> 11:25.350
turned out to be less
than positive.
11:25.352 --> 11:27.886
So in the final analysis
we concluded that the merger
11:27.888 --> 11:30.288
was not to our fiscal
advantage.
11:30.290 --> 11:31.957
Simpson publishing
has voted to focus
11:31.959 --> 11:35.260
on our core interest, which is
the newspaper business.
11:35.262 --> 11:36.928
What? What?
11:36.930 --> 11:39.097
With trading halted,
Jasco pharmaceuticals
11:39.099 --> 11:41.132
announced stunning news
that it has defaulted
11:41.134 --> 11:43.068
on interest payments
on its debt,
11:43.070 --> 11:44.769
and will file for bankruptcy.
11:44.771 --> 11:47.772
It's stock is expected to
plummet when trading resumes.
11:47.774 --> 11:49.274
You were right, Turner.
11:49.276 --> 11:52.777
Jasco stocks
were gonna explode.
11:52.779 --> 11:55.146
Kaboom!
12:11.297 --> 12:14.032
Sir... sir, you're not
allowed in there.
12:14.034 --> 12:15.867
You're not allowed in there.
12:15.869 --> 12:17.736
What the hell's going on?
12:17.738 --> 12:20.371
Turner, what are you doing?
12:20.373 --> 12:22.907
Yesterday,
you said you were acquiring Jasco.
12:22.909 --> 12:26.911
Oh, Ryan, Ryan.
Oh my god.
12:27.880 --> 12:30.448
You didn't use that
inside information, did you?
12:30.450 --> 12:32.784
Yes, I did.
12:34.019 --> 12:36.454
- Did you lose a lot?
- A fucking fortune.
12:36.456 --> 12:39.190
Client's money.
My own.
12:39.192 --> 12:41.059
Ohhh!
12:41.061 --> 12:43.795
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Ryan...
12:43.797 --> 12:46.297
Ryan.
12:49.401 --> 12:51.803
You screwed my wife.
12:52.938 --> 12:55.440
I screwed you back.
12:58.544 --> 13:01.312
You would undermine
your own merger,
13:01.314 --> 13:03.381
just for retribution?
13:03.383 --> 13:05.550
Are you insane?
13:05.552 --> 13:10.822
There's no stronger
motivation than money, or revenge.
13:10.824 --> 13:13.792
I already have money.
13:18.030 --> 13:20.064
Have a good day.
13:34.480 --> 13:37.415
We just lost half
of our top clients, Ryan.
13:37.417 --> 13:39.484
Why the hell did you do this?
13:39.486 --> 13:43.121
I was set up.
It was false information.
13:43.123 --> 13:44.856
The S.E.C. called.
13:44.858 --> 13:48.159
You think they give a shit
about the fact that you were set up?
13:48.161 --> 13:51.062
- This was all legal.
- What about due diligence?
13:51.064 --> 13:54.966
We just lost $52 million
of our clients' money.
13:54.968 --> 13:55.888
For what? A tip?
13:55.914 --> 13:58.036
My source was Donald Simpson himself.
13:58.038 --> 14:01.439
Oh, great. Well, I guess
you can ask him for a job.
14:01.441 --> 14:03.208
No, wait, wait, wait...
14:03.210 --> 14:05.310
It's the fucking S.E.C.!
14:07.213 --> 14:11.616
If we keep you on it's going to look like
we condone insider trading.
14:11.618 --> 14:13.151
I'm sorry.
14:15.921 --> 14:19.123
Don't...
Don't do this, please.
14:19.125 --> 14:22.026
I margined my own account.
14:22.028 --> 14:23.628
Aww.
14:23.630 --> 14:25.630
Well.
14:25.632 --> 14:28.633
I guess you made
two stupid mistakes then.
14:30.069 --> 14:32.337
I can't believe
this is happening to me.
14:32.339 --> 14:36.441
Okay, okay. this changes
my plans completely.
14:36.443 --> 14:40.245
But I'm an adapter.
I can make myself believe
14:40.247 --> 14:42.480
that this is worse for you
than it is for me.
14:42.482 --> 14:44.549
I just have to keep
reminding myself
14:44.551 --> 14:47.085
that you are Ryan Turner.
14:47.087 --> 14:48.119
Oh!
14:48.121 --> 14:49.354
And honey,
14:49.356 --> 14:52.123
if anyone can bounce back
from this you can.
14:52.125 --> 14:54.192
Right?
14:56.129 --> 14:59.631
- Sorry to keep you waiting.
- That's all right.
14:59.633 --> 15:01.532
- Walk with me.
- Sure.
15:01.534 --> 15:03.601
I guess you heard,
I left beacon trading.
15:03.603 --> 15:05.637
Everybody's heard.
15:05.639 --> 15:07.639
I have admired your firm
for quite awhile.
15:07.641 --> 15:10.642
I figured now would be
a great time to join forces.
15:10.644 --> 15:12.610
Unfortunately,
we're downsizing.
15:13.545 --> 15:16.180
Jim, six months ago
you were begging me,
15:16.182 --> 15:18.116
- now I'm...
- Poison.
15:19.051 --> 15:21.219
I'm sorry, Ryan.
It's... I just...
15:21.221 --> 15:23.121
I can't help you.
15:36.035 --> 15:37.635
Nancy, hi.
15:37.637 --> 15:39.103
Ryan.
15:39.105 --> 15:41.105
I've been calling you for days.
15:41.107 --> 15:42.640
Yeah, uh, I've been very busy.
15:42.642 --> 15:44.542
It's been totally...
15:44.544 --> 15:46.244
I got your messages.
15:46.246 --> 15:48.680
There's gotta be
something you can do.
15:48.682 --> 15:50.982
Look, Ryan,
15:50.984 --> 15:52.951
I made some calls.
15:52.953 --> 15:55.687
Looks like they might be
investigating you.
15:56.956 --> 15:58.957
Ryan Edward Turner,
15:58.959 --> 16:01.559
while this commission finds
insufficient evidence
16:01.561 --> 16:04.195
for indictment,
your conduct leaves us
16:04.197 --> 16:07.432
no alternative but to revoke
your broker's license.
16:13.205 --> 16:15.273
This one was declined, too.
16:17.643 --> 16:19.610
Try this one.
16:24.083 --> 16:26.684
I'm gonna have to
keep this one.
16:28.053 --> 16:30.455
But we accept food stamps.
16:37.396 --> 16:40.131
You're jeopardizing
your economic future, Ryan.
16:40.133 --> 16:43.267
Patrick, I don't really give a shit
about my future.
16:43.269 --> 16:45.269
I'm gonna cash in
my retirement fund.
16:45.271 --> 16:47.305
You're gonna pay
a hell of a penalty.
16:47.307 --> 16:49.107
Just do it!
17:01.153 --> 17:04.055
This is for the 13,500
we agreed on.
17:04.057 --> 17:06.156
If you could just sign.
17:11.597 --> 17:13.364
Here.
17:14.299 --> 17:16.134
Great.
17:16.136 --> 17:19.503
Good. We'll have
everything out by 5:00.
17:20.672 --> 17:22.707
Mr. Turner,
I am so sorry
17:22.709 --> 17:25.476
that you've been evicted from 989.
17:25.478 --> 17:27.578
Thanks, Paul.
17:57.376 --> 17:59.610
When I said I wanted
us to live together,
17:59.612 --> 18:02.647
I meant at your place.
18:22.234 --> 18:25.303
Ryan, you haven't moved
in a week.
18:25.305 --> 18:26.737
Let's go out.
18:27.673 --> 18:30.808
We're lmng together.
18:30.810 --> 18:35.379
We're well past
the going out stage.
18:35.381 --> 18:37.648
Fine! I'm going out
with cathy then.
18:55.902 --> 18:58.436
What's going on?
18:58.438 --> 19:00.438
I'll put this delicately.
19:00.440 --> 19:03.774
You're a loser
and I'm leaving you.
19:04.576 --> 19:06.511
Things will get better.
19:06.513 --> 19:08.613
I'm tired of watching
other people
19:08.615 --> 19:10.815
enjoy the life I was
supposed to have.
19:10.817 --> 19:12.683
My life is flying by.
19:12.685 --> 19:14.652
Do you see a rock on my finger?
19:14.654 --> 19:16.420
I get it.
19:16.422 --> 19:18.222
Who is he?
19:18.224 --> 19:19.624
He?
19:19.626 --> 19:22.693
Oh, you think this
is about someone else?
19:23.629 --> 19:27.231
Honey, this isn't
about someone else.
19:27.233 --> 19:28.933
This is about you.
19:30.936 --> 19:32.937
His name is Francisco,
19:32.939 --> 19:37.642
and he owns a diamond mine
in Brazil.
19:37.644 --> 19:41.445
When did you meet this guy?
19:41.447 --> 19:42.547
Mm...
19:42.549 --> 19:44.715
tuesday, but he loves me.
19:44.717 --> 19:48.653
So you're just gmng up on us?
19:48.655 --> 19:50.621
If god wanted me to marry poor
19:50.623 --> 19:52.857
he would have made me homely.
19:52.859 --> 19:55.326
What about your job?
What about your column?
19:55.328 --> 19:57.295
Oh, I'm done
with everything here.
19:57.297 --> 19:59.830
I'm jetting off
with Fran-chesco.
19:59.832 --> 20:02.300
- Francisco.
- Yeah, him.
20:08.307 --> 20:10.508
By the way, the rent's due.
20:29.261 --> 20:31.596
That's a zipkin, isn't it?
20:31.598 --> 20:33.564
I don't know what
you're talking about.
20:33.566 --> 20:35.266
Yeah?
20:35.268 --> 20:37.835
Dr. Lou Zipkin,
20:37.837 --> 20:40.538
Madison avenue.
20:40.540 --> 20:42.240
Who told you?
20:45.444 --> 20:46.911
Call me.
20:46.913 --> 20:49.247
I can fix it.
20:49.249 --> 20:50.681
Ass!
20:52.351 --> 20:54.518
I can fix that, too!
20:54.520 --> 20:57.421
Ryan, sorry I'm late.
20:57.423 --> 21:00.358
I had to do a lipo-injection
on an anorexic woman.
21:00.360 --> 21:02.827
Now she wants to be
the fat lady at the circus.
21:02.829 --> 21:05.029
Cindy left me.
21:05.031 --> 21:06.697
No?!
21:06.699 --> 21:08.633
I didn't see that coming.
21:08.635 --> 21:11.402
- Are you insulting my ex?
- Of course not.
21:11.404 --> 21:14.272
- She's a bitch.
- Is all I was saying.
21:14.274 --> 21:18.276
She left me
for some brazilian guy.
21:18.278 --> 21:20.344
And after all that work
I did on her.
21:20.346 --> 21:22.880
We can build you a new one.
21:22.882 --> 21:24.782
It's not just her.
21:24.784 --> 21:26.651
My whole life is a mess.
21:26.653 --> 21:29.654
I could kill myself,
but I'd probably go to hell,
21:29.656 --> 21:31.656
and that would be redundant.
21:31.658 --> 21:34.358
You'd be among friends.
21:34.360 --> 21:36.460
Yeah, friends.
Nobody likes me, Barry.
21:36.462 --> 21:38.763
Come on.
"nobody" is overstating it.
21:40.532 --> 21:42.633
Was I that big an asshole?
21:42.635 --> 21:45.369
I wouldn't say big.
21:46.305 --> 21:47.605
Huge?
21:47.607 --> 21:49.640
Gigantic.
21:49.642 --> 21:51.742
Paul Bunyan comes to mind.
21:51.744 --> 21:53.344
All right, I get it.
21:54.846 --> 21:56.380
Let me have a beer.
21:56.382 --> 21:58.049
Get him a beer.
22:07.826 --> 22:09.427
Yeah?
22:09.429 --> 22:11.896
Is Cindy there?
22:11.898 --> 22:14.565
- Who's this?
- Who's this?!
22:14.567 --> 22:17.635
You're calling me.
22:17.637 --> 22:19.603
This is Page Hensen,
her publisher
22:19.605 --> 22:21.639
from the "Journal."
who's this?
22:21.641 --> 22:24.442
This is Ryan Turner,
her boyfriend,
22:24.444 --> 22:26.377
- from Syracuse.
- Well...
22:26.379 --> 22:27.878
she left a confusing message,
22:27.880 --> 22:29.647
something about moving
to Brazil.
22:29.649 --> 22:32.550
Can you tell me whether
she's coming to work,
22:32.552 --> 22:35.453
or whether I can take
her off payroll?
22:35.455 --> 22:36.687
Payroll?
22:36.689 --> 22:38.756
Payroll. I don't have to pay her
if she doesn't work.
22:38.758 --> 22:40.858
That's the way we do
things in this country.
22:40.860 --> 22:42.927
It's progressive,
don't you think?
22:42.929 --> 22:45.963
Apparently you misunderstood
Cindy's message.
22:45.965 --> 22:47.965
What she was trying to say
22:47.967 --> 22:50.768
was she's not moving to Brazil.
22:50.770 --> 22:52.970
In fact, she's hardly
moving at all.
22:52.972 --> 22:54.905
She's sick...
22:54.907 --> 22:56.707
...Brazilian flu.
22:56.709 --> 22:58.609
Brazilian flu?
22:58.611 --> 23:00.077
Put her on the phone.
23:00.079 --> 23:02.113
I can't.
She has laryngitis.
23:02.115 --> 23:04.582
Her doctor ordered
total voice rest.
23:04.584 --> 23:07.485
Her doctor?
23:07.487 --> 23:08.953
What's his name?
23:08.955 --> 23:12.623
Ah...
Dr. Barry Sherman.
23:13.759 --> 23:16.660
Perhaps she should
take an extended leave.
23:16.662 --> 23:19.463
No, Cindy wants to do
the column from bed.
23:19.465 --> 23:21.465
She shouldn't be
without an income
23:21.467 --> 23:23.467
when she's this sick,
should she?
23:25.037 --> 23:28.539
Fine. I guess I have no choice.
I'll send her letters over.
23:28.541 --> 23:29.874
No!
23:29.876 --> 23:32.676
She's contagious.
I'll come pick them up.
23:37.883 --> 23:41.085
She's contagious,
and he's coming here?
23:42.621 --> 23:44.588
Oh boy!
24:02.541 --> 24:04.675
Chelsea journal.
24:04.677 --> 24:06.744
Sure, hang on one second.
24:10.817 --> 24:14.118
I'm looking for page hensen.
24:14.120 --> 24:16.554
And I'm looking for a man
24:16.556 --> 24:19.623
who appreciates the sight
of a 70-year-old woman
24:19.625 --> 24:21.692
in a bubble bath.
24:22.994 --> 24:25.095
I see.
24:25.097 --> 24:26.764
Is she available?
24:26.766 --> 24:28.799
Business or pleasure?
24:28.801 --> 24:29.800
Business.
24:29.802 --> 24:33.604
Serious or monkey?
24:33.606 --> 24:35.105
None of your.
24:35.107 --> 24:37.608
Just tell her
Ryan Turner is here,
24:37.610 --> 24:39.143
Cindy's friend.
24:39.145 --> 24:42.012
The boyfriend's here.
24:48.753 --> 24:51.489
Hi, I'm Page Hensen.
24:51.491 --> 24:53.724
Hi, Ryan Turner.
24:53.726 --> 24:55.159
Coffee?
24:55.161 --> 24:58.829
- Sure.
- It's over there.
24:58.831 --> 25:00.698
Let me...
say up front
25:00.700 --> 25:02.266
that I am not
at all comfortable
25:02.268 --> 25:04.268
with Cindy working from home.
25:04.270 --> 25:06.804
I like to do things
a certain way around here.
25:06.806 --> 25:08.706
What way is that?
25:08.708 --> 25:11.609
Around here.
Where I can control them.
25:12.744 --> 25:15.112
Are you telling me
you've ever controlled Cindy?
25:15.114 --> 25:17.214
Well...
25:17.216 --> 25:18.949
you're not wrong.
25:18.951 --> 25:20.584
Which makes me right.
25:20.586 --> 25:23.220
Other than brilliant,
it's my favorite thing to be.
25:24.656 --> 25:27.191
That was a joke.
25:27.193 --> 25:28.959
If you want levity,
Mr. Turner.
25:28.961 --> 25:32.263
I can squeeze you in around 4:00 p.m.
a week from thursday...
25:32.265 --> 25:34.765
Cindy knows her deadline.
Have a nice day.
25:45.176 --> 25:48.178
Cindy's deadline
is 3:00 p.m.
25:48.180 --> 25:49.680
Thank you.
25:49.682 --> 25:52.016
But I'm open-ended.
25:59.624 --> 26:01.258
This the mail room?
26:01.260 --> 26:03.694
Uh, duh!
26:03.696 --> 26:07.631
I'm here to pick up all the letters from
the "Dear, Cindy" column.
26:09.000 --> 26:10.701
All the letters?
26:10.703 --> 26:12.336
That's what I said.
26:12.338 --> 26:13.737
Okay.
26:13.739 --> 26:15.806
I'll get you all the letters.
26:27.986 --> 26:29.887
All the letters.
26:34.192 --> 26:35.926
"Dear cindy,
26:35.928 --> 26:38.295
I have a small moustache,
but waxing is painful
26:38.297 --> 26:40.798
and I can't afford
laser removal.
26:40.800 --> 26:43.901
Do men really mind this?
Signed, hair lip."
26:46.305 --> 26:48.839
"Dear Adolf, the only handlebar
26:48.841 --> 26:50.674
a man wants to hold
26:50.676 --> 26:53.043
is on a harley.
26:53.045 --> 26:55.312
If a guy wants to munch hair
26:55.314 --> 26:57.848
he knows where to find it."
26:59.284 --> 27:00.784
Damn!
27:00.786 --> 27:02.853
That's good advice.
27:09.794 --> 27:12.229
"Dear Cindy,
I'm planning my wedding,
27:12.231 --> 27:15.132
but when I try to get
opinions about color schemes,
27:15.134 --> 27:16.967
my fiance doesn't seem to care.
27:16.969 --> 27:20.004
Does that mean that he really
doesn't want to get married?
27:20.006 --> 27:22.773
Signed,
the wedding Zinger."
27:27.345 --> 27:29.346
"Dear Zinger,
27:29.348 --> 27:32.416
while you're looking
at wedding color schemes..."
27:32.418 --> 27:35.953
"...he's out looking at all the ass
he's never gonna touch again.
27:35.955 --> 27:38.122
Just make
the color scheme black,
27:38.124 --> 27:40.724
'cause it's the darkest
day of his life."
27:44.095 --> 27:46.730
these sound like
these were written
27:46.732 --> 27:50.034
by some shallow,
callous anti-feminist.
27:50.036 --> 27:52.970
May be you should
read them again?
27:52.972 --> 27:55.005
Apparently, Cindy's ailment
27:55.007 --> 27:57.675
hasn't heightened
her sensitmty.
27:59.077 --> 28:02.146
Perhaps you're incapable
of seeing the insight
28:02.148 --> 28:04.148
and profundity of her writing?
28:04.150 --> 28:07.317
Are you implying I don't
know how to do my job?
28:07.319 --> 28:10.754
How successful is
your little paper, anyway?
28:10.756 --> 28:13.691
- You're right.
- Usually.
28:13.693 --> 28:16.326
Perhaps we would be more
successful without this column.
28:16.328 --> 28:18.328
Cancelled.
28:18.330 --> 28:20.898
Wait a minute.
You can't do that.
28:20.900 --> 28:23.000
Can! Have!
See the name plate?
28:24.436 --> 28:26.970
- Let me tell you something...
- Whatever it is, Mr. Turner.
28:26.972 --> 28:29.740
I suggest you save it for
a larger, more attentive crowd.
28:29.742 --> 28:31.942
Fine. fine!
28:31.944 --> 28:34.278
You don't deserve my...
28:35.447 --> 28:38.048
girlfriend's brilliant mind.
28:39.784 --> 28:41.085
Do you believe him?!
28:41.087 --> 28:43.353
He is...
28:43.355 --> 28:45.155
he has some...
28:45.157 --> 28:46.423
ass!
28:46.425 --> 28:48.192
Nerve!
28:53.998 --> 28:55.165
Wait a sec.
28:55.167 --> 28:57.768
Let me get this straight
while I'm sober.
28:57.770 --> 29:00.738
- You took over Cindy's...
- Shh!
29:00.740 --> 29:02.840
You took over...
column?
29:02.842 --> 29:05.042
You can't tell a soul.
29:05.044 --> 29:06.376
Or Cathy!
29:06.378 --> 29:08.412
And the newspaper bought it?
29:08.414 --> 29:09.847
Well, not exactly.
29:09.849 --> 29:13.217
This so called publisher
called me... Cindy...
29:13.219 --> 29:17.454
shallow, callous, insensitive,
29:17.456 --> 29:20.224
then she fired
Cindy... me... us.
29:20.226 --> 29:23.327
Oh, so you're still
out of work?
29:23.329 --> 29:26.296
Oh no. I'm not finished.
I found Cindy's contract,
29:26.298 --> 29:28.499
and she's not
taking this lying down...
29:28.501 --> 29:30.400
sick as she is.
29:30.402 --> 29:31.935
Well...
29:31.937 --> 29:34.104
that Cindy's got balls.
29:34.106 --> 29:36.774
She does now.
29:45.350 --> 29:48.152
Couldn't keep away, could you?
29:48.154 --> 29:51.021
Must be that bad girl vibe
I give off...
29:51.023 --> 29:53.390
pheromones and poligrip.
29:53.392 --> 29:54.958
Enticing,
29:54.960 --> 29:56.960
but I'm here
to see Ms. Hensen.
29:56.962 --> 30:00.864
She told me to send you away
if you ever showed up again.
30:00.866 --> 30:03.367
So, if you want to get to her,
30:03.369 --> 30:04.868
you have to go through me,
30:04.870 --> 30:08.572
and I can map out
a very direct route.
30:08.574 --> 30:12.309
How about a compromise?
I'll pinch your butt as we walk.
30:12.311 --> 30:14.244
That's sexual harassment!
30:14.246 --> 30:17.014
- That's foreplay.
- Ah.
30:17.016 --> 30:19.149
All right.
30:22.887 --> 30:24.955
No, wait.
30:24.957 --> 30:27.024
Stop.
30:27.026 --> 30:28.859
No, you can't.
30:28.861 --> 30:30.861
I tried to stop him.
30:30.863 --> 30:32.296
Iris, out.
30:32.298 --> 30:34.531
Turner, follow.
30:40.872 --> 30:43.307
I came to give you
one more chance.
30:43.309 --> 30:44.975
Oh! This sounds good.
30:44.977 --> 30:47.544
Cindy is devastated
that you would take advantage
30:47.546 --> 30:51.081
of her disability as a pretense
to breach her contract.
30:51.083 --> 30:54.184
You're not serious?
Please leave.
30:54.186 --> 30:56.553
I'm sorry.
That didn't come out right.
30:56.555 --> 30:58.555
Leave!
30:58.557 --> 31:00.224
I recommend you reconsider
31:00.226 --> 31:02.125
before her damages increase.
31:02.127 --> 31:03.427
"Damages"?
31:03.429 --> 31:05.863
Cindy's pain and suffering.
31:05.865 --> 31:07.497
Mr. turner,
you're on my turf,
31:07.499 --> 31:09.266
and I know publishing.
31:09.268 --> 31:11.568
Cindy wrote
about munching hair,
31:11.570 --> 31:13.136
and getting ass.
31:13.138 --> 31:15.906
She's the one
in breach, not me.
31:15.908 --> 31:18.242
If you want to
take me on legally,
31:18.244 --> 31:20.310
I'm ready for a fight.
Is Cindy?
31:27.986 --> 31:29.386
No.
31:31.556 --> 31:33.557
Iris, help.
31:33.559 --> 31:35.292
Oh, what's this piece of paper
31:35.294 --> 31:36.493
falling to the floor
31:36.495 --> 31:38.929
with a home address on it?
31:40.431 --> 31:41.531
Thank you.
31:41.533 --> 31:44.268
She likes roses.
31:44.270 --> 31:46.603
I like tulips.
32:05.523 --> 32:07.591
Shit.
32:23.608 --> 32:26.510
Go away, Mr. Turner.
32:26.512 --> 32:28.679
I can't do that.
32:28.681 --> 32:31.214
It's easy. Just pretend
you're walking in,
32:31.216 --> 32:33.016
except go the other way.
32:34.352 --> 32:37.254
Just give me two minutes.
32:37.256 --> 32:38.655
I'm entertaining.
32:38.657 --> 32:40.590
No, you're not.
32:42.027 --> 32:43.593
I'll...
call the police.
32:43.595 --> 32:45.629
No, you won't.
32:45.631 --> 32:47.664
This is my home,
Mr. Turner.
32:47.666 --> 32:50.000
I don't mix business
and pleasure.
32:50.002 --> 32:52.736
I don't think you mix
pleasure and pleasure.
32:52.738 --> 32:55.238
You are way out of line.
32:55.240 --> 32:59.676
Just give me two minutes, and I promise
I'll never bother you again.
32:59.678 --> 33:01.478
I came to...
33:01.480 --> 33:03.380
apologize.
33:08.152 --> 33:10.087
Two minutes.
33:11.656 --> 33:14.758
And the tock is clicking.
33:19.497 --> 33:21.431
Entertaining, huh?
33:27.672 --> 33:29.639
Nice place...
33:29.641 --> 33:31.708
I'm sure you came with a point.
33:32.677 --> 33:35.545
I can't go back to cindy and tell her
she lost her column.
33:35.547 --> 33:38.281
I see. where will
you be going then?
33:38.283 --> 33:40.617
Cindy is very sick.
33:40.619 --> 33:43.186
Please, have a little empathy.
33:43.188 --> 33:45.222
Empathy?
33:45.224 --> 33:48.692
Every cent I could beg
and borrow went into my paper.
33:48.694 --> 33:52.095
Cindy's column has never
really fit in with my vision.
33:52.097 --> 33:55.198
She lacks warmth, insight,
33:55.200 --> 33:58.268
and most important, sensitmty.
33:58.270 --> 33:59.669
People change.
33:59.671 --> 34:03.473
People's lives change.
People, I'm not so sure about.
34:03.475 --> 34:06.176
Things happen that
change people.
34:07.512 --> 34:09.746
Give her one more chance.
34:09.748 --> 34:12.616
As a favor to me?
34:12.618 --> 34:14.518
And what do I owe you?
34:17.388 --> 34:20.389
When was the last time
you put on lipstick at this hour?
34:20.391 --> 34:22.159
I'm not wearing lipstick.
34:23.393 --> 34:25.128
Yes, you are.
34:25.130 --> 34:27.563
I might be going out later.
34:27.565 --> 34:29.232
No, you're not.
34:29.234 --> 34:31.568
If I put my makeup on at night,
34:31.570 --> 34:34.404
it saves me 20 minutes
in the morning.
34:37.507 --> 34:39.208
Time's up.
34:40.143 --> 34:41.578
Okay.
34:47.150 --> 34:48.752
Hey.
34:50.288 --> 34:52.656
One more chance.
34:52.658 --> 34:55.324
See, you do have a soft spot.
34:55.327 --> 34:57.561
And right now,
I'm starting to think
34:57.563 --> 34:59.830
someone dropped me on it.
35:07.773 --> 35:10.774
- "Dear Cindy... "
- Now remember, you've got
35:10.776 --> 35:13.710
to reach down,
way past that cynicism.
35:13.712 --> 35:15.579
"Dear Cindy..."
35:15.581 --> 35:19.783
past those hardened layers
of egomaniacal self-absorption.
35:19.785 --> 35:21.685
"Dear Cindy..."
35:21.687 --> 35:23.520
you're a girl...
35:23.522 --> 35:26.623
- I get it. Thanks.
- I'm saying be sensitive.
35:26.625 --> 35:28.525
"Dear Cindy,
my ex and I broke up,
35:28.527 --> 35:30.694
but I still can't stop
thinking about him.
35:30.696 --> 35:33.563
Is four months too much time
to grieve my lost love?
35:33.565 --> 35:36.366
Signed, not
a mourning person."
35:36.368 --> 35:39.302
oh good, a neurotic one.
35:39.304 --> 35:42.606
Now you, being
a sensitive woman, say...
35:43.641 --> 35:45.642
"Four days is too much time.
35:45.644 --> 35:50.714
The best way to get over a man,
is to get under a new one."
35:50.716 --> 35:53.250
No, you can't say that.
35:53.252 --> 35:54.651
I just did.
35:54.653 --> 35:57.287
- It's not sensitive.
- Maybe it is to a woman.
35:57.289 --> 36:01.591
No, say "He probably left you
'cause your ass got too big."
36:01.593 --> 36:06.329
Say that, then tell her I can fix it.
put in my name and office number.
36:06.331 --> 36:08.665
- This isn't about you.
- Well, it could be.
36:08.667 --> 36:10.600
And I'll give you a finder's fee.
36:10.602 --> 36:12.435
Barry, no.
36:12.437 --> 36:14.504
Fine. read the next one.
36:17.642 --> 36:19.843
"Dear Cindy, I caught
my husband cheating..."
36:19.845 --> 36:22.546
probably due
to a falling backside...
36:22.548 --> 36:25.315
gravity hits,
he loses interest.
36:25.317 --> 36:26.850
It's sad, really.
36:26.852 --> 36:28.618
Tell her I can fix it.
36:28.620 --> 36:30.620
Put in my name
and office number.
36:30.622 --> 36:31.955
Barry, no.
36:31.957 --> 36:34.624
You're losing a lot of money
you could use.
36:36.294 --> 36:39.262
This goes on.
"I caught my husband cheating,
36:39.264 --> 36:40.697
but that's not the worst of it.
36:40.699 --> 36:42.566
The woman is not half
as attractive as me.
36:42.568 --> 36:45.202
Am I wrong for feeling
twice as hurt?"
36:47.738 --> 36:50.373
What would a woman say?
36:53.611 --> 36:55.478
Oh.
36:57.882 --> 37:00.250
Oh god, not Cathy?
37:00.985 --> 37:03.220
Ohm-mmm.
37:05.590 --> 37:06.090
Ohm.
37:10.796 --> 37:14.265
Ohmm...gonna get that.
37:15.466 --> 37:16.466
Hello?
37:16.467 --> 37:19.603
Hi, honey. Listen, I just need to
ask you a hypothetical question.
37:19.705 --> 37:22.706
- Not now, I'm practicing yoga.
- No, it'll just take a second.
37:22.708 --> 37:26.409
Say a man is cheating
with a woman
37:26.411 --> 37:28.812
that's not half
as attractive as his wife,
37:29.214 --> 37:31.448
should the wife be upset
37:31.450 --> 37:34.384
that the other woman is ugly?
37:34.386 --> 37:36.920
All right, you son-of-a-bitch,
who the hell is she?
37:36.922 --> 37:37.861
What? No, no...
37:37.887 --> 37:40.790
You couldn't be man enough
to tell me in person?
37:40.792 --> 37:42.993
- Honey, honey...
- I'm sorry, proceed.
37:42.995 --> 37:45.695
Wait, it's that bitch receptionist
with the hairy cleavage!
37:45.697 --> 37:47.897
- Rhonda?
- I knew it! You cheatin' bastard.
37:47.899 --> 37:49.633
I'll be off in a sec.
37:49.635 --> 37:51.368
I'm calling a lawyer!
37:51.370 --> 37:52.969
Cathy, honey, relax,
37:52.971 --> 37:54.904
- I'm not cheating.
- What?
37:54.906 --> 37:56.706
I swear, I would never.
37:56.708 --> 37:59.643
Oh. Well...
37:59.645 --> 38:02.646
then I say he deserves
to get stuck with the ugly one.
38:02.648 --> 38:04.781
I gotta go, honey.
Love ya, bye.
38:06.317 --> 38:08.451
What?
38:08.453 --> 38:11.021
Somebody want to use the phone?
38:14.292 --> 38:16.726
That's a good point.
38:18.663 --> 38:20.597
What did she say?
38:20.599 --> 38:21.765
Hmm?
38:21.767 --> 38:24.834
Oh, that...
if the husband's cheating,
38:24.836 --> 38:26.870
he deserves to end up
with the ugly one.
38:31.575 --> 38:33.643
She may be onto something.
38:33.645 --> 38:36.646
"They say dogs
are a man's best friend.
38:36.648 --> 38:39.516
Your man found a real barker.
38:39.518 --> 38:41.685
But remember,
when you lie down with dogs..."
38:41.687 --> 38:43.520
"...you wake up with fleas.
38:43.522 --> 38:45.689
But when you lie down
with ugly dogs,
38:45.691 --> 38:49.392
you wake up alone, because
even the fleas don't want you."
38:50.895 --> 38:54.497
I have to admit
they're... better.
38:54.499 --> 38:57.033
Better?
Then that's good, right?
38:58.602 --> 39:00.670
I don't know
what you said to her,
39:00.672 --> 39:05.041
I told her she's not the only one
who's suffering.
39:06.510 --> 39:09.979
Don't get me wrong,
I still think she has a long way to go.
39:09.981 --> 39:11.848
But you'll...
print these?
39:11.850 --> 39:13.083
And pay for 'em?
39:15.553 --> 39:16.953
I guess so.
39:16.955 --> 39:19.022
Cindy is gonna die
when I tell her.
39:22.460 --> 39:25.829
Do I detect...
humor?
39:26.931 --> 39:29.532
Slips out, now and then.
39:33.637 --> 39:34.938
She likes the column.
39:34.940 --> 39:36.973
I told you.
39:36.975 --> 39:39.609
But Ryan, dear,
do yourself a favor,
39:39.611 --> 39:41.745
misspell a word now and then.
39:41.747 --> 39:43.680
Cindy always did.
39:44.682 --> 39:46.383
How did you know?
39:46.385 --> 39:49.652
Sure.
gorgeous, therefore stupid.
39:49.654 --> 39:51.921
Why am I always a stereotype?
39:51.923 --> 39:54.657
Why didn't you tell page?
39:54.659 --> 39:56.726
I have a feeling about you.
39:59.130 --> 40:01.531
One more word
of advice, though.
40:01.533 --> 40:03.099
This isn't a game.
40:03.101 --> 40:05.869
People might actually
read this drivel.
40:05.871 --> 40:08.071
Some folks have
nowhere else to turn.
40:08.073 --> 40:10.640
So if you're gonna do it,
do it for real.
40:10.642 --> 40:12.709
Don't be a man,
40:12.711 --> 40:15.545
be human.
40:31.462 --> 40:33.730
How much can this really hurt?
40:37.468 --> 40:38.935
Ow. Ow!
40:38.937 --> 40:41.137
"Dear hair lip,
40:41.139 --> 40:43.973
if a man has a problem
with your facial hair,
40:43.975 --> 40:48.178
strap him down, rip off
his 5:00 shadow with hot wax,
40:48.180 --> 40:51.681
and ask him if any woman
is worth that twice a week."
41:02.226 --> 41:03.960
Excuse me.
41:03.962 --> 41:05.595
You forgot your bag.
41:05.597 --> 41:08.231
Oh, thank you.
Thank you so much.
41:08.233 --> 41:09.899
You're welcome.
41:09.901 --> 41:11.668
You flirted with him.
41:11.670 --> 41:13.636
Can I help it if they
still look at me?
41:13.638 --> 41:17.607
- Women look at me, you know.
- Why do you think I'm still with you?
41:17.609 --> 41:19.576
Ack!
41:25.683 --> 41:28.785
Listen to this one.
"Dear Cindy,
41:28.787 --> 41:31.721
I'm in a monogamous
relationship with a great guy.
41:31.723 --> 41:35.058
It's just that sometimes
I get the urge to stray..."
41:35.060 --> 41:37.560
"...maybe the stability
bores me,
41:37.562 --> 41:40.930
or I just crave the excitement
of sex with someone new.
41:41.866 --> 41:44.667
Help, I'm confused."
41:44.669 --> 41:46.769
and then this Cindy woman
writes back,
41:46.771 --> 41:48.805
"Dear confused,
41:48.807 --> 41:51.541
although multiple partners
41:51.543 --> 41:53.176
can be exciting,
41:53.178 --> 41:57.981
you have to think of them
as you would a snowstorm..."
41:57.983 --> 42:00.617
"...you never really know
when they will come,
42:00.619 --> 42:03.219
how long they will last,
42:03.221 --> 42:05.688
or how many inches
you will get..."
42:05.690 --> 42:08.291
"...stick to what
you already have.
42:08.293 --> 42:12.629
It's so much nicer
to watch the storm pass
42:12.631 --> 42:15.164
cuddling with someone
who loves you."
42:15.166 --> 42:17.634
I feel so lonely.
42:17.636 --> 42:19.769
Circulation's up 3%.
42:19.771 --> 42:21.271
Thank you.
42:23.741 --> 42:25.308
Apparently people are...
42:25.310 --> 42:27.143
How do I say this?
42:27.145 --> 42:29.112
They're reading it.
42:29.114 --> 42:32.282
That's always good
with a newspaper, honey.
42:32.284 --> 42:33.950
Excuse me.
42:33.952 --> 42:36.920
- Oh!
- Mr. Turner. Come in.
42:36.922 --> 42:38.955
Someone's excited to see me.
42:38.957 --> 42:41.024
Hell... that always
happens when I wear
42:41.026 --> 42:43.860
a rayon blouse with no bra.
42:43.862 --> 42:46.195
Color me embarrassed.
42:47.932 --> 42:50.800
I am very pleased
with cindy's performance.
42:50.802 --> 42:54.571
I guess this illness has had
a profound effect on her after all.
42:54.573 --> 42:57.774
- Or... you have.
- Thank you.
42:58.909 --> 43:00.610
Anyway...
43:00.612 --> 43:02.845
I have something for you.
43:04.281 --> 43:06.916
It's the first paycheck that
Cindy actually deserves.
43:06.918 --> 43:09.352
Forgot all about that.
43:09.354 --> 43:11.654
That's great.
43:13.924 --> 43:16.025
You look nice today.
43:16.027 --> 43:17.760
Thank you.
43:17.762 --> 43:20.763
But may I remind you,
you've been around a sick woman?
43:20.765 --> 43:23.833
No, you have a definite glow.
43:29.740 --> 43:32.609
If you're not taking him,
I will.
43:32.611 --> 43:34.811
Iris, what are you
babbling about?
43:34.813 --> 43:36.779
He obviously wants one of us.
43:36.781 --> 43:38.748
He has a girlfriend.
43:38.750 --> 43:41.684
What the hell.
She'll be dead soon, anyway.
44:00.404 --> 44:02.238
Dude, I am so not happy
44:02.240 --> 44:04.807
with the direction
this seems to be going.
44:04.809 --> 44:07.210
Dude, get over it.
44:23.260 --> 44:25.395
All right,
where the hell is she?
44:25.397 --> 44:27.296
Cindy?
She's not here.
44:27.298 --> 44:30.033
Every time I call here,
you tell me she can't talk.
44:30.035 --> 44:32.835
When I call at the office,
they tell me she's working at home.
44:32.837 --> 44:34.704
She's talking to someone,
somewhere,
44:34.706 --> 44:36.673
and it's not me
and it's not here.
44:36.675 --> 44:38.441
What the hell is going on?
44:38.443 --> 44:41.411
All right, you want
the truth, Cathy? Fine.
44:41.413 --> 44:43.880
Cindy went away for awhile,
on personal business.
44:43.882 --> 44:46.949
- Cindy tells me everything.
- Not this.
44:46.951 --> 44:49.052
Her column is still
being printed.
44:49.054 --> 44:51.120
She's emailing it.
44:53.991 --> 44:56.759
You're lying.
And I'm not leaving...
44:56.761 --> 44:59.295
until I get some answers.
44:59.297 --> 45:02.799
Okay. You want the real truth?
45:05.769 --> 45:08.137
Cindy's... pregnant.
45:08.139 --> 45:09.906
What?!
45:09.908 --> 45:11.441
Oh my god!
45:11.443 --> 45:13.776
Her ass is gonna get so fat.
45:13.778 --> 45:16.279
Why didn't she tell me?
45:16.281 --> 45:18.915
Wait... that is something
she would tell me!
45:18.917 --> 45:20.416
But...
45:20.418 --> 45:22.251
It's not my baby.
45:23.253 --> 45:25.388
Oh my god.
45:25.390 --> 45:28.825
It was gunther, her trainer.
I told her to put an end to it.
45:28.827 --> 45:30.827
Oops.
45:30.829 --> 45:33.830
Oh, Ryan,
you must be devastated...
45:33.832 --> 45:35.932
even more so now.
When you talk to Cindy,
45:35.934 --> 45:38.434
tell her barry can help
with the stretch marks.
45:38.436 --> 45:41.070
And if you need anything,
don't hesitate to call.
45:41.072 --> 45:43.139
Like you have in the past.
45:57.521 --> 45:59.822
"Dear Cindy,
45:59.824 --> 46:02.325
I've recently been
introduced to your column,
46:02.327 --> 46:07.497
I don't have many people to talk to,
so I thought, well...
46:07.499 --> 46:09.432
here goes.
46:09.434 --> 46:11.834
My son has the aids.
46:11.836 --> 46:14.070
I never approved
of his lifestyle,
46:14.072 --> 46:16.305
and was always honest about it.
46:16.307 --> 46:18.808
Now, I live in shame,
46:18.810 --> 46:21.944
and have been telling people
he has cancer.
46:21.946 --> 46:25.915
I know most of your stuff
is about broken hearts and romance,
46:25.917 --> 46:29.085
but why can't I move past this?
46:29.087 --> 46:32.789
I don't have a lot of time
to find an answer here.
46:32.791 --> 46:34.791
Please...
46:34.793 --> 46:36.859
help me."
46:40.931 --> 46:43.833
"I don't have a lot of time
to find an answer,
46:43.835 --> 46:46.202
please help me."
46:49.873 --> 46:52.909
You can't give one
of your clever answers on this one.
46:52.911 --> 46:54.811
This is serious.
46:54.813 --> 46:58.247
I don't know what to do.
I'm in way over my head.
46:59.483 --> 47:01.818
I'm getting out
while I still can.
47:01.820 --> 47:03.119
All right, Ryan.
47:03.121 --> 47:05.154
Hey, listen,
if you want to quit,
47:05.156 --> 47:08.057
I don't blame you.
When I was starting out,
47:08.059 --> 47:10.593
this doctor asked me to consult
on this burn victim.
47:10.595 --> 47:14.497
I go in the room. This guy's got
third degree burns on 90% of his body.
47:14.499 --> 47:18.034
He was in so much pain
It... it was horrifying.
47:18.036 --> 47:20.102
And I look at the guy,
and I was...
47:20.104 --> 47:21.904
I was scared shitless,
all right?
47:21.906 --> 47:23.840
So I ran out of there.
47:23.842 --> 47:26.475
And then I was embarrassed.
I didn't know what to do.
47:26.477 --> 47:28.911
So I called a friend of mine,
told him what happened.
47:28.913 --> 47:31.547
You know what he said?
He goes, "Hey, you're scared.
47:31.549 --> 47:34.350
How do you think that
burn victim feels?"
47:35.953 --> 47:37.620
Smart friend.
47:37.622 --> 47:40.256
Yes, you were.
47:43.427 --> 47:45.561
Thanks, Barry.
47:50.200 --> 47:53.002
"It is not how your son dies,
47:53.004 --> 47:55.104
but rather, how he lived.
47:55.106 --> 47:57.974
He may not agree with all
your life choices either,
47:57.976 --> 47:59.542
but I'll bet he loves you.
47:59.544 --> 48:02.478
Don't be angry at yourself
for feeling shame,
48:02.480 --> 48:05.381
be angry at the people
who instill shame in you.
48:05.383 --> 48:08.484
Let go of your prejudice,
and grab hold of your son.
48:08.486 --> 48:12.121
You'll have plenty of time
after he's gone for anger."
48:20.330 --> 48:22.498
"Dear cindy,
I'm losing my hair,
48:22.500 --> 48:25.034
and I'm losing my confidence
with women.
48:25.036 --> 48:27.536
Am I just being paranoid?"
48:27.538 --> 48:29.171
"Trust me.
48:29.173 --> 48:31.607
A lot of women know
your hair loss is caused
48:31.609 --> 48:35.378
by an oversupply
of male hormones.
48:36.280 --> 48:38.314
Remember this thought...
48:38.316 --> 48:40.216
the more hair you lose,
48:40.218 --> 48:42.418
the more head you get."
48:51.094 --> 48:53.596
Hello? Cathy?
48:53.598 --> 48:55.498
Okay, relax.
Take a breath.
48:55.500 --> 48:58.401
- Channel 5... Turn it on! turn it on!
- I will. Thanks.
49:02.572 --> 49:05.007
...causing quite a buzz
in the tri-state area,
49:05.009 --> 49:07.343
is advice columnist,
Cindy Styne,
49:07.345 --> 49:09.645
who has a rather
unorthodox approach,
49:09.647 --> 49:11.681
and unique perspective,
to say the least.
49:11.683 --> 49:13.950
For example, a woman writes in
49:13.952 --> 49:17.520
she's having no luck finding
the perfect caring guy.
49:17.522 --> 49:19.655
So Cindy advises,
49:19.657 --> 49:21.524
"The problem isn't
finding a boyfriend
49:21.526 --> 49:23.592
who is perfect,
gentle and caring.
49:23.594 --> 49:25.428
The problem is,
49:25.430 --> 49:28.297
guys like that already
have boyfriends."
49:29.299 --> 49:31.968
"New York 1" is hoping
to get an exclusive with her.
49:33.170 --> 49:35.571
I may have to get her
exclusively, too.
49:36.640 --> 49:39.442
Get me an address
on Cindy Styne.
49:51.688 --> 49:54.156
Page, we're going
to make payroll.
49:54.158 --> 49:56.025
- You're kidding?
- I'm not kidding.
49:56.027 --> 49:58.461
- So don't take out that second mortgage.
- Okay.
49:58.463 --> 50:00.029
Hey, if you're lucky...
50:00.031 --> 50:02.098
you may even be able
to cash your own paycheck.
50:02.100 --> 50:04.667
- That's fantastic!
- Please don't tell anybody about this, okay?
50:04.669 --> 50:07.303
Otherwise there's a free-for-all
on the office supplies.
50:07.305 --> 50:09.538
- Hi.
- Hello.
50:09.540 --> 50:11.307
Did you see it on tv?
50:11.309 --> 50:14.010
Yes, along with half
a million other women in the city.
50:14.012 --> 50:16.312
And to think,
you were going to cancel the column.
50:16.314 --> 50:18.514
I'm the first to admit
when I'm wrong.
50:18.516 --> 50:19.615
Great. go ahead.
50:19.617 --> 50:21.584
- What?
- Admit it.
50:21.586 --> 50:23.686
The admission was inherent
in what I said.
50:23.688 --> 50:26.188
Still, won't it make you feel better
to actually say it?
50:26.190 --> 50:29.125
No. but if it would
make you fell better,
50:29.127 --> 50:31.694
I was wrong.
Happy?
50:31.696 --> 50:34.030
Let's not point fingers.
50:34.032 --> 50:37.433
Mr. turner, I was already going
to renew Cindy's contract.
50:37.435 --> 50:39.368
I don't know.
50:39.370 --> 50:41.103
What don't you know?
50:41.105 --> 50:44.140
Circulation is up 20%.
50:44.142 --> 50:47.276
Cindy may have some stipulations
before she re-signs.
50:47.278 --> 50:49.311
What kind of stipulations?
50:49.313 --> 50:50.613
You know Cindy.
50:50.615 --> 50:52.748
I could talk to her.
I do have some influence.
50:52.750 --> 50:55.651
Perhaps we could discuss
her demands over dinner?
50:55.653 --> 50:57.520
- Tonight?
- No, I can't tonight.
50:57.522 --> 51:00.489
I have to review
a performance artist.
51:00.491 --> 51:02.324
What about drinks beforehand?
51:02.326 --> 51:05.828
Fine.
6:30 at the park grant.
51:05.830 --> 51:07.797
I'll see you there.
51:11.402 --> 51:16.272
The sexy turquoise one
with the spaghetti straps, honey.
51:16.274 --> 51:19.675
No, I was looking
for today's galleys.
51:19.677 --> 51:21.577
Right there on your desk.
51:21.579 --> 51:23.512
I see. Thank you.
51:25.082 --> 51:26.649
Not the navy suit?
51:35.759 --> 51:37.860
Hello.
51:39.162 --> 51:40.362
What can I get you?
51:40.364 --> 51:42.364
Cosmopolitan, please.
51:43.266 --> 51:44.867
Before you make any demands,
51:44.869 --> 51:46.368
just remember Cindy's column
51:46.370 --> 51:49.171
was close to extinction
a few weeks ago.
51:49.173 --> 51:51.140
You look incredible.
51:51.142 --> 51:54.677
I'm ready to listen,
and I'm open to compromise,
51:54.679 --> 51:57.613
but please keep in mind
her recent success
51:57.615 --> 52:01.417
was partly fueled
by my patience and leniency.
52:01.419 --> 52:03.352
When was the last time
you were on a date?
52:03.354 --> 52:05.821
Of course, I do intend
to play hardball.
52:05.823 --> 52:08.390
With a man that thought
you were beautiful?
52:08.392 --> 52:10.392
Business is business.
52:10.394 --> 52:12.661
A date that kept you up
all night thinking about it?
52:12.663 --> 52:14.730
This is a business meeting.
52:14.732 --> 52:17.600
And I've given up dating.
52:17.602 --> 52:18.868
Oh, given up?
52:18.870 --> 52:21.637
Sounds like you've
been hurt pretty badly.
52:23.874 --> 52:25.474
That bad, huh?
52:28.279 --> 52:30.212
I was involved with someone.
52:30.214 --> 52:32.781
As it turns out,
I wanted one man
52:32.783 --> 52:34.550
to fulfill my every need,
52:34.552 --> 52:37.219
he wanted every woman
to fulfill his one.
52:37.221 --> 52:39.421
His wife kicked him out, too.
52:39.423 --> 52:41.257
Now, about this contract.
52:41.259 --> 52:43.659
So clearly, you know what you
don't want in a man.
52:43.661 --> 52:45.427
What do you want?
52:45.429 --> 52:47.396
Someone who can concentrate.
52:47.398 --> 52:49.665
- Seriously.
- Thank you.
52:51.301 --> 52:53.269
What every woman wants.
52:53.271 --> 52:55.738
Someone warm.
Someone sensitive.
52:55.740 --> 52:58.340
Someone who'll cry
when I smack him.
52:58.342 --> 53:00.476
Really?
What do you want in a man?
53:02.345 --> 53:04.780
Someone who's not deceitful.
53:08.351 --> 53:09.718
This contract...
53:11.321 --> 53:13.455
Sorry. Right.
53:13.457 --> 53:15.658
Okay...
53:15.660 --> 53:18.260
I think a 5% increase
in salary is fair.
53:18.262 --> 53:19.528
For a transit worker.
53:19.530 --> 53:21.363
50% of the profit increase,
53:21.365 --> 53:23.599
move the column to page four.
53:23.601 --> 53:25.668
I see you came prepared.
53:27.504 --> 53:29.638
- Okay.
- So tell me...
53:29.640 --> 53:32.641
What is it, exactly,
that you want in a woman?
53:33.610 --> 53:36.278
Cindy, for example?
53:36.280 --> 53:40.716
Maybe 50% is a little high.
53:40.718 --> 53:42.751
Clearly even you
have expectations.
53:42.753 --> 53:44.386
Front page billing,
53:44.388 --> 53:46.288
and 10% of the profit increase.
53:46.290 --> 53:49.658
What does she do to deserve
this kind of loyalty?
53:51.461 --> 53:55.531
Cindy changed my life
without even knowing it.
53:56.633 --> 53:58.500
Did she?
54:03.473 --> 54:05.374
Her terms seem fair.
54:05.376 --> 54:08.310
I'll have my attorney
draw up papers.
54:08.312 --> 54:09.678
That's it?
54:09.680 --> 54:11.580
Do your business and leave?
54:11.582 --> 54:13.349
I feel so cheap.
54:13.351 --> 54:15.951
I told you I was reviewing
a performance artist tonight.
54:15.953 --> 54:18.687
I could walk you to a cab.
Or, you know, tag along.
54:18.689 --> 54:21.590
I'm not so sure
you would enjoy this.
54:21.592 --> 54:22.958
It's very progressive.
54:22.960 --> 54:25.327
You don't think
I'd fit in with the elitist,
54:25.329 --> 54:28.430
high-brow, artsy fartsy
downtown scene?
54:28.432 --> 54:30.899
I can be as progressive
as the next guy.
54:32.469 --> 54:35.537
Okay, come on.
54:44.748 --> 54:47.516
What is "projected pastels?"
54:47.518 --> 54:49.718
You'll see.
55:13.843 --> 55:17.513
Okay, maybe not
as progressive as the next guy.
55:22.385 --> 55:24.620
The artist inserts the hose
55:24.622 --> 55:27.389
and fills himself with paint.
55:27.391 --> 55:29.792
You're kidding.
55:33.029 --> 55:34.697
You're not kidding.
55:34.699 --> 55:38.100
Now he'll projectile
release the paint
55:38.102 --> 55:40.369
onto the canvas.
55:40.371 --> 55:42.738
Whatever happened to brushes?
55:43.707 --> 55:46.041
He calls it "Enemart."
55:46.043 --> 55:48.811
It represents the waste
of his life
55:48.813 --> 55:52.081
being released
from the bowels of his being.
56:09.099 --> 56:11.133
Do you find this offensive?
56:11.135 --> 56:16.538
No. what about this
could possibly be offensive?
56:25.382 --> 56:27.616
I'm so sorry.
56:27.618 --> 56:30.018
Just because I got
a little paint in the face
56:30.020 --> 56:31.820
from a man's ass?
56:33.090 --> 56:36.392
But it was a well
respected ass.
56:38.595 --> 56:41.497
You should have
seen your expression.
56:41.499 --> 56:43.065
It was actually kind of cute.
56:43.067 --> 56:45.000
You think so?
56:55.879 --> 56:59.515
I cannot believe you did that.
57:19.169 --> 57:21.170
Hey, dude.
57:21.172 --> 57:22.971
Blow me!
57:25.142 --> 57:27.609
Hello? Could you cash
your paycheck, please,
57:27.611 --> 57:29.511
so I can balance
my books for once?
57:29.513 --> 57:32.748
Then what am I going to put
under my coffee cup, Steven?
57:32.750 --> 57:34.883
Iris, you're killing me.
57:34.885 --> 57:36.919
I just want to let
you know that.
57:36.921 --> 57:38.854
Then suffer in silence, Steven!
57:38.856 --> 57:40.122
Uh-oh.
57:41.157 --> 57:43.192
She doesn't want
to see you right now.
57:43.194 --> 57:45.127
- Did she say that?
- She implied it,
57:45.129 --> 57:48.130
when she said she doesn't
want to see you right now.
57:48.132 --> 57:50.232
Have you seen
the amount of mail for Cindy?
57:50.234 --> 57:52.034
You and I both know
it's because of me.
57:52.036 --> 57:54.236
Now, I want to see page,
and I won't be told no.
57:54.238 --> 57:55.838
No!
58:05.248 --> 58:07.049
Page.
58:07.051 --> 58:09.651
What's going on?
58:09.653 --> 58:12.087
I no longer
have a problem with Cindy's column,
58:12.089 --> 58:13.655
so you can
deliver it to Iris...
58:13.657 --> 58:15.824
This is about you
kissing me last night.
58:15.826 --> 58:17.526
Me?! You?
58:17.528 --> 58:19.194
I did not.
58:19.196 --> 58:21.697
It sure tasted like you.
58:21.699 --> 58:23.866
You leaned in...
58:23.868 --> 58:25.868
and I lost my balance.
58:25.870 --> 58:27.736
And fell onto my face?
58:29.138 --> 58:31.974
It was an unfortunate accident.
58:31.976 --> 58:33.609
I know.
Don't you just hate it
58:33.611 --> 58:35.277
when two people
accidentally connect?
58:35.279 --> 58:37.846
Page, what is going on?
58:39.883 --> 58:41.550
Well, let's see.
58:41.552 --> 58:44.086
You're in a relationship,
that's infidelity.
58:44.088 --> 58:46.288
- Actually, I came to tell you...
- I'm not finished.
58:46.290 --> 58:49.224
Your significant other
works for me,
58:49.226 --> 58:50.759
that's unethical.
58:50.761 --> 58:52.828
She's become my biggest asset,
58:52.830 --> 58:54.229
that's plain fact.
58:54.231 --> 58:56.231
If you'd cheat on her,
you'd cheat on me,
58:56.233 --> 58:58.066
that's common sense.
58:58.068 --> 59:00.068
And I want you
to leave this office,
59:00.070 --> 59:01.837
that's about it.
59:01.839 --> 59:05.040
No, it's not.
there's something that I have to tell...
59:05.042 --> 59:07.276
- I don't want to hear it!
- Stop interrupting me!
59:10.880 --> 59:13.949
Cindy is not
who you think she is.
59:13.951 --> 59:15.651
I know.
59:17.287 --> 59:18.954
How do you know?
59:18.956 --> 59:20.956
The letters.
59:20.958 --> 59:23.559
You could tell
from the letters?
59:23.561 --> 59:25.327
Yes.
59:25.329 --> 59:28.230
Now they've started writing me.
59:28.232 --> 59:29.865
Listen to this,
59:29.867 --> 59:32.200
"Dear editor, I wrote
Cindy for advice
59:32.202 --> 59:34.570
on what to do about
my husband hitting me.
59:34.572 --> 59:38.040
She put things into perspective
the way none of my family or friends could.
59:38.042 --> 59:40.042
They all told me
to save my marriage.
59:40.044 --> 59:42.110
Cindy told me to save myself.
59:42.112 --> 59:44.646
I got out, thanks to her.
59:44.648 --> 59:46.348
If she has given this gift to me,
59:46.350 --> 59:49.251
I can only imagine how
she's affected others.
59:49.253 --> 59:51.887
God bless you and Cindy."
59:53.356 --> 59:57.259
she is not the person
who I thought she was... at all.
59:57.261 --> 01:00:00.629
Cindy has become the differene
in people's lives.
01:00:01.965 --> 01:00:03.799
And she should know that.
01:00:05.234 --> 01:00:06.969
She does.
01:00:08.171 --> 01:00:11.106
I won't be bothering you,
anymore, Page.
01:00:13.109 --> 01:00:16.311
I'll have cindy email
her column from now on.
01:00:43.640 --> 01:00:45.307
Can I help you?
01:00:45.309 --> 01:00:48.944
Lucy stone, FOX news,
"New York report."
01:00:48.946 --> 01:00:52.147
- And you are?
- Wondering what you're doing here.
01:00:52.149 --> 01:00:54.182
I just wanted to ask
a few questions
01:00:54.184 --> 01:00:56.918
to the woman
that seems to have all the answers.
01:00:56.920 --> 01:00:58.353
Cindy doesn't do interviews.
01:00:58.355 --> 01:01:00.188
She prefers to keep
her anonymity.
01:01:00.190 --> 01:01:02.057
Can I use your phone
01:01:02.059 --> 01:01:03.825
to check in with the newsroom?
01:01:03.827 --> 01:01:05.427
Sure.
01:01:13.002 --> 01:01:15.704
It'll wait.
We only trust secure land lines.
01:01:15.706 --> 01:01:17.205
Do you mind if I
use your restroom?
01:01:17.207 --> 01:01:20.342
It's broken.
I can give you a cup.
01:01:20.344 --> 01:01:23.278
Okay, I'll tell you what,
01:01:23.280 --> 01:01:25.881
here is my card,
in case she changes her mind
01:01:25.883 --> 01:01:27.949
when she sees it's lucy stone.
01:01:27.951 --> 01:01:30.852
You'll be the first one
she calls, lucy stone.
01:01:30.854 --> 01:01:33.355
- And again, you are?
- Gonna close the door now.
01:01:34.791 --> 01:01:37.292
No, no, no, tell him I'm busy.
01:01:37.294 --> 01:01:39.361
I have no time
to talk to him now.
01:01:39.363 --> 01:01:42.731
If worse comes to worst,
I'll call him tomorrow at his office.
01:01:42.733 --> 01:01:44.232
Can I help you?
01:01:44.234 --> 01:01:45.967
Bye-bye.
01:01:47.437 --> 01:01:49.271
Ms. Hensen,
01:01:49.273 --> 01:01:51.873
I was hoping we
could help each other.
01:01:51.875 --> 01:01:55.110
I believe this is
my desk, Mr. Simpson.
01:01:55.112 --> 01:01:58.213
I know this because
I'm on the wrong side of it.
01:01:58.215 --> 01:02:00.148
Well, forgive me.
01:02:01.284 --> 01:02:03.785
So you know who I am?
01:02:03.787 --> 01:02:07.789
You own my competition,
and I wouldn't know who you are?
01:02:07.791 --> 01:02:11.226
What I don't know
is what you're doing here.
01:02:11.228 --> 01:02:13.195
Well, I...
01:02:13.197 --> 01:02:15.130
I have a little
proposition for you.
01:02:15.132 --> 01:02:18.333
Judging by
your uninvited intrusion,
01:02:18.335 --> 01:02:20.335
I'm sure it's very little.
01:02:21.971 --> 01:02:24.840
You seem like a no nonsense woman,
and I admire that.
01:02:24.842 --> 01:02:27.943
At least I know I'm
dealing with an equal.
01:02:27.945 --> 01:02:29.778
Any woman who aspires
01:02:29.780 --> 01:02:31.747
to be equal to men in business,
01:02:31.749 --> 01:02:33.315
simply lacks ambition.
01:02:34.317 --> 01:02:36.017
Okay.
01:02:36.019 --> 01:02:38.153
How's this for ambition?
01:02:38.155 --> 01:02:40.188
I want to buy out
Cindy's contract.
01:02:40.190 --> 01:02:41.990
Cindy's not for sale.
01:02:41.992 --> 01:02:44.426
I happen to know
this newspaper is losing money.
01:02:44.428 --> 01:02:46.461
You can't afford
not to sell her.
01:02:48.531 --> 01:02:51.366
When I want something,
Ms. Hensen,
01:02:51.368 --> 01:02:53.435
I usually get it.
01:02:53.437 --> 01:02:56.338
You'll have to get it,
01:02:56.340 --> 01:02:58.006
somewhere else.
01:02:58.941 --> 01:03:01.143
If you'll excuse me.
01:03:08.284 --> 01:03:10.852
Never wrestle
with a pig, Ms. Hensen,
01:03:10.854 --> 01:03:12.487
you'll both get dirty,
01:03:12.489 --> 01:03:14.422
only the pig likes it!
01:03:14.424 --> 01:03:17.926
At least I know what species of animal
I'm dealing with.
01:03:18.861 --> 01:03:20.428
Good day, Mr. Simpson.
01:03:25.668 --> 01:03:27.970
This is "FOX 5, live."
01:03:27.972 --> 01:03:30.973
- Live from lower Manhattan...
- Did I tell you I was an early riser?
01:03:30.975 --> 01:03:35.344
So who is this advice columnist
who has the answers,
01:03:36.046 --> 01:03:39.648
...but for some reason
chooses anonymity?
01:03:39.850 --> 01:03:43.585
New york is asking,
"Who is Cindy?"
01:03:47.924 --> 01:03:50.091
I ordered a special meal,
01:03:50.093 --> 01:03:52.327
and there is nothing special
about this.
01:03:52.329 --> 01:03:55.330
I should be on your list,
Cindy Styne.
01:03:56.833 --> 01:03:58.233
The Cindy Styne?
01:03:58.235 --> 01:03:59.868
Yeah. Why?
01:03:59.870 --> 01:04:01.603
I love your column.
01:04:01.605 --> 01:04:03.505
You've read my column?
01:04:03.507 --> 01:04:06.241
I even wrote to you.
But you haven't answered it yet.
01:04:06.243 --> 01:04:09.377
Really?
Was your letter stupid?
01:04:09.379 --> 01:04:12.480
- Pardon?
- You wouldn't believe
01:04:12.482 --> 01:04:15.283
some of the ridiculous letters
I used to get.
01:04:15.285 --> 01:04:17.052
Idiots out there.
01:04:18.187 --> 01:04:20.455
You know, somehow I thought
you'd be different.
01:04:20.457 --> 01:04:22.290
No. I'm the same.
01:04:22.292 --> 01:04:24.693
This is your captain.
We're starting our descent
01:04:24.695 --> 01:04:27.162
into New York shortly.
And we up here in the flight deck
01:04:27.164 --> 01:04:29.364
want to thank you
for flying with us.
01:04:29.366 --> 01:04:31.667
And we hope you have
a pleasant stay in New York,
01:04:31.669 --> 01:04:34.069
or whatever
your final destination.
01:04:34.839 --> 01:04:38.506
Witnesses reported to us that
they spotted Cindy Styne dining.
01:04:38.508 --> 01:04:40.843
Oh, you have to go?
What a pity.
01:04:40.845 --> 01:04:43.946
Okay, so long, I'll talk
to you again.
01:04:44.348 --> 01:04:45.313
Oh!
01:04:45.315 --> 01:04:47.249
Thank you very much.
01:04:47.251 --> 01:04:49.751
The phones are
ringing off the hook.
01:04:49.753 --> 01:04:53.255
I've been on the phone so much,
I'm developing a bicep.
01:04:53.257 --> 01:04:54.757
Biceps go the other way.
01:04:54.759 --> 01:04:57.425
Oh. Matt Lauer
personally called.
01:04:57.427 --> 01:05:00.362
- I talked to him.
- This is insane.
01:05:00.364 --> 01:05:02.631
And the wire services called
01:05:02.633 --> 01:05:06.134
to talk about
national syndication!
01:05:06.136 --> 01:05:09.671
- That's great.
- I'm so happy for you.
01:05:09.673 --> 01:05:12.040
For me, back to the grind.
01:05:12.042 --> 01:05:14.476
- Iris?
- Or not.
01:05:16.245 --> 01:05:18.914
Last year, when you
got that horrific flu,
01:05:18.916 --> 01:05:20.548
How long were you out?
01:05:20.550 --> 01:05:23.251
Including the days I lied...
01:05:23.253 --> 01:05:25.954
and went to club med,
01:05:25.956 --> 01:05:27.956
about two and a half weeks.
01:05:27.958 --> 01:05:29.524
But I got sick there.
01:05:31.527 --> 01:05:34.062
I've been ignoring
my intuition.
01:05:34.064 --> 01:05:36.364
I'm going to go see Cindy.
01:05:36.366 --> 01:05:38.633
Page, is that wise?
01:05:38.635 --> 01:05:41.002
Let me rephrase that,
01:05:41.004 --> 01:05:43.104
that's not wise.
01:05:43.106 --> 01:05:45.273
Is there something
you're not telling me?
01:05:45.275 --> 01:05:47.275
Almost daily.
01:05:54.184 --> 01:05:56.184
Who is it?
01:05:56.186 --> 01:05:58.386
It's page.
01:05:58.388 --> 01:06:00.322
Shit!
01:06:00.324 --> 01:06:02.490
I heard that, Ryan.
Open the door!
01:06:08.065 --> 01:06:10.231
I'm in the shower.
01:06:11.634 --> 01:06:13.668
I need to talk to Cindy.
01:06:16.239 --> 01:06:18.273
Now is not a good time.
01:06:19.275 --> 01:06:20.709
Open the door!
01:06:25.448 --> 01:06:26.581
She's not here.
01:06:26.583 --> 01:06:28.416
Where is she?
01:06:30.019 --> 01:06:31.720
The media's been hounding us.
01:06:31.722 --> 01:06:35.357
She couldn't get any rest
so I sent her to a private hospital.
01:06:35.359 --> 01:06:38.526
I looked up the doctor
you said was Cindy's physician.
01:06:38.528 --> 01:06:40.428
He's a plastic surgeon.
01:06:41.664 --> 01:06:43.098
Right.
01:06:43.100 --> 01:06:44.599
I want the truth.
01:06:46.402 --> 01:06:48.203
The truth is...
01:06:48.205 --> 01:06:50.472
Dr. Sherman
is a plastic surgeon.
01:06:50.474 --> 01:06:54.175
And he wasn't
treating cindy for the flu.
01:06:55.111 --> 01:06:56.644
Keep talking.
01:06:56.646 --> 01:06:59.347
What happened is...
01:06:59.349 --> 01:07:02.684
Cindy's breast implants...
she has them, you know?
01:07:02.686 --> 01:07:05.453
They shifted so radically,
that she became...
01:07:05.455 --> 01:07:08.256
frontally disfigured,
01:07:08.258 --> 01:07:10.492
a one breasted hunchback.
01:07:12.094 --> 01:07:15.296
It was like talking
to a picasso in chanel.
01:07:15.298 --> 01:07:17.732
- Oh my god...
- Yeah, it was terrible.
01:07:17.734 --> 01:07:19.501
You must think
I'm a complete idiot.
01:07:19.503 --> 01:07:21.503
I don't,
but if you feel I must...
01:07:21.505 --> 01:07:23.304
let me tell
you something, Ryan,
01:07:23.306 --> 01:07:25.573
I can spot bullshit
from a blimp in a fogstorm.
01:07:25.575 --> 01:07:27.375
Now where the hell is she?
01:07:28.310 --> 01:07:30.111
Oh god.
01:07:36.118 --> 01:07:38.053
The real truth is...
01:07:38.055 --> 01:07:40.555
Cindy went to Brazil.
01:07:40.557 --> 01:07:42.323
- Ryan!
- No, listen!
01:07:42.325 --> 01:07:45.060
Three months ago,
I was a great liar,
01:07:45.062 --> 01:07:47.162
with a great job, which I lost.
01:07:47.164 --> 01:07:49.164
So Cindy left me.
01:07:49.166 --> 01:07:51.733
I couldn't find another job
so I took hers.
01:07:53.335 --> 01:07:55.437
You took Ci...
01:07:55.439 --> 01:07:57.505
Wait a minute...
01:07:57.507 --> 01:08:01.242
You've been illegally
impersonating Cindy?
01:08:02.178 --> 01:08:04.379
Perpetuating a hoax
01:08:04.381 --> 01:08:06.815
and lying to my face?
01:08:06.817 --> 01:08:09.584
It sounds a lot worse
when you say it.
01:08:12.121 --> 01:08:15.090
Do you understand
the legal ramifications of this?
01:08:15.092 --> 01:08:16.858
Yes, I am a fraud.
01:08:16.859 --> 01:08:19.694
There will be
a huge scandal, Ryan!
01:08:19.696 --> 01:08:21.596
The papers will crucify me...
01:08:21.599 --> 01:08:23.298
No... wait...
I am a paper.
01:08:23.300 --> 01:08:25.133
I'll have to crucify myself.
01:08:25.335 --> 01:08:28.303
- I wanted to tell you the truth.
- Then why didn't you?
01:08:28.305 --> 01:08:30.705
Because I didn't want you
to know I was a fraud.
01:08:30.707 --> 01:08:33.475
And I needed a reason
to keep seeing you.
01:08:34.410 --> 01:08:36.310
You're the first woman
that's made me
01:08:36.313 --> 01:08:38.446
care about something
other than myself.
01:08:38.448 --> 01:08:40.415
Oh, please!
01:08:40.417 --> 01:08:43.350
Add that to your list
of lies and deception.
01:08:43.353 --> 01:08:47.221
Everything you've said
to me has been a lie.
01:08:47.224 --> 01:08:50.125
Is there anything, at all,
about you that's true?
01:08:51.794 --> 01:08:54.529
Just... the stuff
you printed.
01:08:59.535 --> 01:09:01.703
I am so out of here.
01:09:01.705 --> 01:09:03.404
I love you.
01:09:05.241 --> 01:09:08.510
The hardest part about this
was not being able to tell you.
01:09:08.511 --> 01:09:10.345
Or kiss you.
01:09:11.580 --> 01:09:14.314
You really think
I would let you kiss me?
01:09:14.317 --> 01:09:16.384
After this?!
01:09:17.486 --> 01:09:19.319
How cliche is that?
01:09:19.322 --> 01:09:21.156
What? "Passion
overtakes them"?
01:09:21.158 --> 01:09:23.291
Who do you think
you're dealing with here?
01:09:23.292 --> 01:09:27.228
I don't know.
I just love you.
01:09:28.296 --> 01:09:34.868
Let me tell you something...
01:09:34.871 --> 01:09:37.906
Cindy, where do you see
the column going?
01:09:37.908 --> 01:09:40.542
- Cindy, why the secrecy?
- Where have you been hiding?
01:09:40.544 --> 01:09:42.443
What the hell is going on?
01:09:44.447 --> 01:09:46.481
Get my car.
01:09:48.417 --> 01:09:50.318
Hurry!
01:09:50.319 --> 01:09:52.487
Hurry? You never wanted
me to hurry before.
01:09:52.488 --> 01:09:54.622
Before my temperature
goes down.
01:09:54.624 --> 01:09:57.392
Stop complaining,
you always wanted a nooner.
01:09:57.394 --> 01:09:59.661
Yeah, but what's the rush
to have children?
01:09:59.663 --> 01:10:02.430
Cindy's having one, so...
01:10:02.432 --> 01:10:04.899
- it got me thinking.
- Cindy's in Brazil.
01:10:05.834 --> 01:10:09.270
- Cindy's in Brazil?!
- What? No, I mean...
01:10:09.272 --> 01:10:12.207
Cindy's bra is chilled.
Let's make babies.
01:10:12.209 --> 01:10:13.808
Okay.
01:10:17.413 --> 01:10:18.947
Oooh!
01:10:18.949 --> 01:10:21.382
Owww!
01:10:21.384 --> 01:10:24.319
- What are you doing?
- It's the yoga.
01:10:24.321 --> 01:10:27.555
It familiarizes me with muscles
I never even knew I had.
01:10:27.557 --> 01:10:30.959
I... I can't move the...
Oh my god! My...
01:10:30.961 --> 01:10:32.360
Exactly.
01:10:32.362 --> 01:10:34.362
Now tell me what's going on?
01:10:34.364 --> 01:10:36.331
I don't know anything!
I swear!
01:10:36.333 --> 01:10:38.333
Ok-aaay.
01:10:38.335 --> 01:10:40.235
Talk!
01:10:42.339 --> 01:10:44.005
Feel the love!
01:10:44.007 --> 01:10:46.407
Okay, okay!
I'll talk! I'll talk!
01:10:49.778 --> 01:10:51.312
So?
01:10:51.314 --> 01:10:54.449
Have I redeemed myself?
01:10:55.851 --> 01:10:57.518
Almost.
01:10:58.454 --> 01:11:00.321
Keep trying.
01:11:09.999 --> 01:11:13.501
You are an amazing woman.
01:11:14.870 --> 01:11:17.538
Apparently, so are you.
01:11:18.807 --> 01:11:20.875
Who else knows about this,
besides you and...
01:11:20.877 --> 01:11:23.645
clearly... Iris?
01:11:23.647 --> 01:11:25.413
My friend, Barry.
01:11:25.415 --> 01:11:27.415
But I trust him.
01:11:27.417 --> 01:11:30.718
Eventually,
someone's going to find out.
01:11:30.720 --> 01:11:33.388
How is anyone
going to find out?
01:11:46.368 --> 01:11:48.303
Cindy?
01:11:48.305 --> 01:11:50.638
Welcome home.
01:11:50.640 --> 01:11:53.007
Ryan!
01:11:53.009 --> 01:11:55.710
I have been to hell
without a sunblock.
01:11:55.712 --> 01:11:57.378
It was awful!
01:11:57.380 --> 01:11:59.847
Brazil has no air conditioning,
01:11:59.849 --> 01:12:02.016
mosquitoes the size
of premature babies,
01:12:02.018 --> 01:12:04.819
and nobody speaks
a real language.
01:12:04.821 --> 01:12:07.488
And then, Ryan,
when I got off the plane,
01:12:07.490 --> 01:12:10.091
I was totally
attacked by paparazzi,
01:12:10.093 --> 01:12:12.460
like a celebrity.
What is going on?
01:12:16.398 --> 01:12:18.099
What the hell is going on?
01:12:20.002 --> 01:12:21.803
In a nutshell,
01:12:21.805 --> 01:12:23.638
you left, my life collapsed.
01:12:23.640 --> 01:12:25.707
I said you were sick,
took over your column.
01:12:25.709 --> 01:12:27.642
It took off, you became famous.
01:12:27.644 --> 01:12:30.345
The column took off,
and you've been writing it?
01:12:30.347 --> 01:12:34.382
- Actually, I've...
- Did you know he was me?
01:12:34.384 --> 01:12:36.384
I didn't then.
But I do now.
01:12:39.621 --> 01:12:42.357
So... you've been me,
01:12:42.359 --> 01:12:44.058
while doing her,
01:12:44.060 --> 01:12:45.660
you used to do me,
01:12:45.662 --> 01:12:47.362
but now you are me?
01:12:48.397 --> 01:12:49.964
Maybe?
01:12:49.966 --> 01:12:51.999
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
01:12:52.001 --> 01:12:54.068
You're the one that left me.
01:12:54.070 --> 01:12:56.738
Ryan, I have an innocent,
01:12:56.740 --> 01:13:00.475
little affair in Brazil,
01:13:00.477 --> 01:13:02.744
and you not only steal my job,
01:13:02.746 --> 01:13:04.712
you sleep with my boss?
01:13:06.449 --> 01:13:07.882
Oh my god!
01:13:07.884 --> 01:13:09.984
You're alive!
01:13:09.986 --> 01:13:12.553
- Ryan's been writing your column!
- I know.
01:13:12.555 --> 01:13:14.922
He's telling everyone
that you are on your deathbe.
01:13:14.924 --> 01:13:16.457
I know.
01:13:16.459 --> 01:13:18.826
- He's also having an affair.
- I know.
01:13:18.828 --> 01:13:22.063
No offense, Cin, but you're
bursting my bubblebutt, here.
01:13:22.998 --> 01:13:24.799
Isn't it higher?
01:13:24.801 --> 01:13:26.667
Much.
01:13:26.669 --> 01:13:28.403
Ryan...
01:13:28.405 --> 01:13:30.671
Ryan, I'm so sorry.
01:13:30.673 --> 01:13:34.108
Cathy used her sexual web to make
me spill everything.
01:13:34.110 --> 01:13:37.478
- Hey!
- Oh! oh.
01:13:37.480 --> 01:13:38.913
Oh, not good.
01:13:38.915 --> 01:13:41.949
This must be the friend
you can trust.
01:13:41.951 --> 01:13:44.585
Page, Barry.
Barry, Page.
01:13:44.587 --> 01:13:46.154
Page, Cathy.
Cathy, Page.
01:13:46.156 --> 01:13:48.423
And you all know Cindy.
01:13:48.425 --> 01:13:49.957
Mmm, the victim.
01:13:49.959 --> 01:13:51.426
I think everybody should leave.
01:13:51.428 --> 01:13:54.195
Cindy and I have
some talking to do.
01:13:54.197 --> 01:13:55.530
I'm not going anywhere.
01:13:55.532 --> 01:13:58.433
I'm mad at you!
And Cindy needs me.
01:13:58.435 --> 01:14:00.768
I thought we'd go to bergdorf's
on the way home.
01:14:00.770 --> 01:14:03.137
Call me.
01:14:10.145 --> 01:14:13.147
Right. uh, well...
I should be going too.
01:14:13.149 --> 01:14:15.683
Yeah, and leave the sheet.
01:14:15.685 --> 01:14:17.585
I'll get my stuff out tomorrow.
01:14:17.587 --> 01:14:19.887
No! Her, leave.
You...
01:14:19.889 --> 01:14:22.924
I forgive. Eventually.
01:14:23.859 --> 01:14:26.561
Cindy, I'm in love with page.
01:14:26.563 --> 01:14:28.830
Please!
01:14:28.832 --> 01:14:30.965
You don't even
like smart women.
01:14:30.967 --> 01:14:33.968
I'm not the same person.
You wouldn't even like me.
01:14:33.970 --> 01:14:37.472
You'll meet someone else.
You're young, attractive...
01:14:37.474 --> 01:14:39.874
vulnerable,
emotionally unavailable...
01:14:39.876 --> 01:14:42.076
everything a man looks for
in a woman, just...
01:14:42.078 --> 01:14:43.911
not this man.
01:14:46.114 --> 01:14:48.049
Mmm, fine then.
01:14:48.051 --> 01:14:49.717
Well, now there, see?
01:14:49.719 --> 01:14:51.786
I knew that we could
all be understanding,
01:14:51.788 --> 01:14:54.489
- and amicable, and...
- I want my job back,
01:14:54.491 --> 01:14:57.592
at quadruple my old salary,
and what used to be your office.
01:14:57.594 --> 01:14:59.827
And completely irrational.
01:14:59.829 --> 01:15:02.196
Cindy, no.
This column is
01:15:02.198 --> 01:15:04.165
too important
to too many lives.
01:15:04.167 --> 01:15:06.200
Too bad. I'm tired.
01:15:06.202 --> 01:15:08.202
So you two have about
a second to decide,
01:15:08.204 --> 01:15:11.239
or I go right now
to NBC news, "Live at 6:00."
01:15:12.608 --> 01:15:14.208
Tick-tock over here.
01:15:15.143 --> 01:15:17.612
You can't have the column back.
01:15:18.614 --> 01:15:20.214
Fine.
01:15:21.149 --> 01:15:23.651
Watch me on tv.
01:15:23.653 --> 01:15:25.920
I'll be live at 6:00.
You'll be dead by 6:30.
01:15:29.591 --> 01:15:31.158
That went well.
01:15:37.666 --> 01:15:39.233
Excuse me, Ms. Styne.
01:15:39.235 --> 01:15:40.801
What?
01:15:40.803 --> 01:15:43.037
A moment of your time,
if I may?
01:15:43.039 --> 01:15:46.107
I don't talk to
unattractive strangers.
01:15:48.143 --> 01:15:50.211
Is that your rolls?
01:15:51.146 --> 01:15:52.947
Yes, I'm Donald Simpson.
01:15:52.949 --> 01:15:57.084
And I own "The New York
chronicle" as well as 32 other papers.
01:15:57.086 --> 01:16:00.221
And I'd like your column
"Cindy-cated" across the country.
01:16:00.223 --> 01:16:02.056
You should know,
I'm not the one...
01:16:02.058 --> 01:16:03.658
I'm offering
six figures a year.
01:16:03.660 --> 01:16:05.993
- But you should know...
- Plus an expense account.
01:16:06.962 --> 01:16:09.931
- Keep talking.
- How about a company car?
01:16:10.866 --> 01:16:13.301
Like a Mercedes SL-anything?
01:16:14.236 --> 01:16:16.737
All you have to do
is sign some papers.
01:16:19.041 --> 01:16:21.309
- She's bluffing.
- She's not bluffing.
01:16:23.111 --> 01:16:25.279
You're right,
she's not bluffing.
01:16:25.281 --> 01:16:27.315
Go after her.
She's not bluffing.
01:16:27.317 --> 01:16:30.318
- Is this for real?
- Absolutely.
01:16:36.825 --> 01:16:38.826
Cindy!
01:16:48.704 --> 01:16:51.005
What's wrong with us?
01:16:54.009 --> 01:16:55.676
I don't know.
01:16:57.312 --> 01:16:59.380
We should be upset.
01:17:00.616 --> 01:17:02.883
Things couldn't be worse.
01:17:04.052 --> 01:17:06.287
Then why am I so happy?
01:17:06.289 --> 01:17:10.057
Well, because you
finally got me into bed?
01:17:10.059 --> 01:17:12.393
Well, there's that.
01:17:14.196 --> 01:17:16.163
If all this happened
so the two of us
01:17:16.165 --> 01:17:18.666
could be together,
then it was worth it.
01:17:22.137 --> 01:17:25.339
We may be screwed,
but we're screwed together.
01:17:25.341 --> 01:17:27.274
Look on the bright side,
01:17:27.276 --> 01:17:30.277
tomorrow morning
when we wake up,
01:17:30.279 --> 01:17:32.680
we get the unfortunate pleasure
01:17:32.682 --> 01:17:35.282
of watching Simpson
announce his victory on tv.
01:17:35.284 --> 01:17:38.185
And if I know Cindy,
01:17:38.187 --> 01:17:40.187
she'll be right there with him,
01:17:40.189 --> 01:17:42.323
gloating.
01:17:46.028 --> 01:17:48.029
I don't even care.
01:17:49.131 --> 01:17:50.998
How about you?
01:17:59.241 --> 01:18:01.042
Cindy...
01:18:25.333 --> 01:18:27.201
I need your help.
01:18:28.136 --> 01:18:30.171
Of course you do.
01:18:31.139 --> 01:18:33.174
I can inject some of the fat
01:18:33.176 --> 01:18:35.009
I took from Cathy's ass
01:18:35.011 --> 01:18:38.045
into it... it'll give you
at least an extra two inches.
01:18:38.047 --> 01:18:40.181
- Barry, wake up!
- What? what?
01:18:40.183 --> 01:18:42.249
I need 200 grand,
and I need it now.
01:18:43.218 --> 01:18:45.886
Mmm-mmm-mmm.
01:18:46.988 --> 01:18:48.189
- No.
- No?
01:18:48.191 --> 01:18:50.391
No.
01:18:50.393 --> 01:18:52.359
Ryan...
01:18:52.361 --> 01:18:54.729
you're a bad stockbroker.
01:18:54.731 --> 01:18:57.131
See, you lose people's money.
01:18:57.133 --> 01:18:58.966
I'm not a stockbroker anymore.
01:18:58.968 --> 01:19:01.168
Exactly, I'm not gmng
my money to a...
01:19:01.170 --> 01:19:02.903
female columnist.
01:19:02.905 --> 01:19:06.107
- I'm not a female.
- You could be.
01:19:07.809 --> 01:19:09.310
Barry, you gotta help me.
01:19:09.312 --> 01:19:11.846
- No, I can't... no.
- Barry, I got nowhere else to go!
01:19:11.848 --> 01:19:13.881
- It's too much!
- I got nowhere else to go.
01:19:13.883 --> 01:19:15.816
Besides, Ryan,
all my money's tied up.
01:19:18.487 --> 01:19:20.454
What about Cathy's money?
01:19:21.490 --> 01:19:23.290
Okay.
01:19:23.292 --> 01:19:26.961
- Really?
- What are friends for?
01:19:29.431 --> 01:19:32.366
Looks good for the last issue.
01:19:33.802 --> 01:19:35.169
Well, well.
01:19:36.338 --> 01:19:37.972
You usually sneak out of bed
01:19:37.974 --> 01:19:39.974
and leave a woman
in the middle of the night?
01:19:39.976 --> 01:19:41.842
You called?
01:19:41.844 --> 01:19:44.044
I'm sorry. But last night
I came up with
01:19:44.046 --> 01:19:46.380
an idea that could
save your paper.
01:19:46.382 --> 01:19:49.183
- How?
- Beating Simpson at his own game.
01:19:49.185 --> 01:19:52.253
If I can get 200 grand,
I can turn it into millions.
01:19:52.255 --> 01:19:55.189
I borrowed 50.
How much do you have?
01:19:55.191 --> 01:19:58.192
She has nothing.
01:19:58.194 --> 01:20:00.828
Less than nothing.
If you count interest.
01:20:00.830 --> 01:20:04.064
Damn it. where am I going
to get my hands on 150 grand?
01:20:04.066 --> 01:20:05.566
Here's my checkbook.
01:20:05.568 --> 01:20:07.835
Iris, no.
I don't want your money.
01:20:09.004 --> 01:20:10.938
You have 150 grand?
01:20:10.940 --> 01:20:13.474
- In one of my accounts.
- She's loaded.
01:20:13.476 --> 01:20:15.843
I'm a great housekeeper.
Three divorces...
01:20:15.845 --> 01:20:17.612
I kept every house.
01:20:17.614 --> 01:20:21.048
- She just works here for fun.
- Or until I find my...
01:20:21.050 --> 01:20:23.083
next husband.
01:20:24.085 --> 01:20:25.953
Iris, I'll pay you back.
01:20:25.955 --> 01:20:27.555
Oh, I don't want it back.
01:20:27.557 --> 01:20:29.390
I just want a piece.
01:20:29.692 --> 01:20:31.392
Iris!
01:20:31.394 --> 01:20:34.495
I want part ownership
of whatever he has planned,
01:20:34.497 --> 01:20:37.231
or I'll cash all my paychecks,
01:20:37.233 --> 01:20:39.233
and break you.
01:20:40.235 --> 01:20:42.069
I couldn't think
of a better partner.
01:20:43.205 --> 01:20:45.239
Oh, no!
01:20:45.241 --> 01:20:47.608
It's painfully clear
that you've been using me
01:20:47.610 --> 01:20:51.045
- to get to her.
- And you mapped out a very direct route.
01:20:51.047 --> 01:20:54.415
But... I have, it seems,
01:20:54.417 --> 01:20:57.484
found consolation
in the arms of another man.
01:20:58.854 --> 01:21:00.287
A younger man!
01:21:00.289 --> 01:21:03.090
Whoever he is,
he's a lucky man, too.
01:21:03.092 --> 01:21:05.226
You bet your ass!
01:21:10.232 --> 01:21:12.233
Andy, how are you?
01:21:12.235 --> 01:21:13.334
Good to see you.
01:21:13.336 --> 01:21:15.936
Willy, how are you doing?
01:21:15.938 --> 01:21:18.105
- Hey, Doris.
- Hey, Ryan.
01:21:18.107 --> 01:21:19.373
Hello.
01:21:19.375 --> 01:21:21.342
Excuse me.
Can I help you?
01:21:21.344 --> 01:21:23.210
I don't think so,
but thank you.
01:21:23.212 --> 01:21:25.980
Well, well.
01:21:25.982 --> 01:21:27.982
What are you doing here,
Turner?
01:21:27.984 --> 01:21:30.885
I thought you'd be
leavin' off your famous girlfriend.
01:21:30.887 --> 01:21:34.021
Remember when I said your wife
was moderately attractive?
01:21:34.023 --> 01:21:36.257
Yeah.
01:21:36.259 --> 01:21:37.358
I lied.
01:21:37.360 --> 01:21:40.261
I didn't know
how lucky you are.
01:21:42.097 --> 01:21:44.164
You're not looking for a job?
01:21:44.166 --> 01:21:47.234
Tables are about to turn, Carl.
01:21:52.674 --> 01:21:54.975
Ryan! What are you doing here?
01:21:54.977 --> 01:21:57.378
- You're looking at your new client.
- What?
01:21:57.380 --> 01:22:00.381
I want to buy 50,000 shares
of Simpson publishing.
01:22:00.383 --> 01:22:02.483
Now.
01:22:02.485 --> 01:22:05.019
I told you, no investments.
01:22:05.021 --> 01:22:07.221
We're ruined.
Ruined.
01:22:07.223 --> 01:22:09.290
Bye-bye,
designer clothes.
01:22:09.292 --> 01:22:11.325
Now, I'll have to shop
on Canal street.
01:22:11.327 --> 01:22:13.327
Bye-bye to our vacation.
You promised me
01:22:13.329 --> 01:22:16.263
you would take me to Egypt
to see that giant sphincter.
01:22:16.265 --> 01:22:17.665
What about our mortgage, huh?
01:22:17.667 --> 01:22:19.667
Bye-bye,
doorman, co-op.
01:22:19.669 --> 01:22:22.369
We'll end up lmng
in a refrigerator carton,
01:22:22.371 --> 01:22:24.939
wearing kleenex boxes
for bedroom slippers,
01:22:24.941 --> 01:22:27.241
and snatching pigeons
for a little protein,
01:22:27.243 --> 01:22:29.410
praying for rain
so we can shower.
01:22:29.412 --> 01:22:32.212
And if you think
I'm selling my jewelry,
01:22:32.214 --> 01:22:33.948
you've got
another thing coming.
01:22:33.950 --> 01:22:35.582
And let me tell
you something else,
01:22:35.584 --> 01:22:37.985
"Mr. best friend"!
01:22:37.987 --> 01:22:40.654
I hope you have the numbers
of some very good hookers,
01:22:40.656 --> 01:22:43.390
because my legs are shut.
01:22:43.392 --> 01:22:45.359
Do you hear me?!
01:22:45.361 --> 01:22:47.294
Welded.
01:22:54.536 --> 01:22:56.470
Yeah...
01:22:56.472 --> 01:22:59.306
and an egg roll.
01:22:59.308 --> 01:23:01.375
Yeah, "welded."
01:23:01.377 --> 01:23:03.677
I'll bring you to the mike,
and you'll say how happy
01:23:03.679 --> 01:23:06.413
you are to be part of
the Simpson publishing empire,
01:23:06.415 --> 01:23:08.415
- I'll take over from there.
- Yeah, whatever!
01:23:08.417 --> 01:23:10.250
- How do I look?
- Like gold.
01:23:11.754 --> 01:23:13.420
Oh.
01:23:14.356 --> 01:23:17.191
Donny... oh!
01:23:18.460 --> 01:23:20.361
It's beautiful.
01:23:21.496 --> 01:23:23.230
A popular columnist
01:23:23.232 --> 01:23:25.232
may be defecting
to another paper.
01:23:25.234 --> 01:23:26.400
Who? when?
01:23:26.402 --> 01:23:28.669
About an hour is all
I can legally say,
01:23:28.671 --> 01:23:30.671
but you can do the rest
since you are...
01:23:30.673 --> 01:23:32.439
Lucy Stone.
01:23:33.575 --> 01:23:35.442
Thank you, Jim.
01:23:35.444 --> 01:23:37.211
And here in new york,
01:23:37.213 --> 01:23:39.146
reliable sources tell me that
01:23:39.148 --> 01:23:43.050
everyone's favorite advice
columnist may be a free agent.
01:23:43.152 --> 01:23:46.186
Could that be what today's
press conference is about?
01:23:46.188 --> 01:23:48.655
- Over here.
- That's the car, boys.
01:23:48.657 --> 01:23:51.258
Stand back.
Stand back.
01:23:51.260 --> 01:23:52.493
Mr. Simpson.
01:23:52.495 --> 01:23:54.495
Mr. Simpson, can you
confirm the rumors?
01:23:54.497 --> 01:23:55.629
Please, sir?
01:23:55.631 --> 01:23:58.132
Ladies and gentlemen,
Cindy Styne.
01:23:58.134 --> 01:24:00.134
Will you be leaving
"The journal"?
01:24:00.136 --> 01:24:02.102
- No comment now.
- No comment.
01:24:02.104 --> 01:24:04.071
Cindy, where have you been?
01:24:04.073 --> 01:24:05.372
No comment on that, either.
01:24:05.374 --> 01:24:06.574
Tell us about the dress.
01:24:06.576 --> 01:24:07.396
The dress?
01:24:08.022 --> 01:24:09.309
I had it made.
01:24:09.311 --> 01:24:12.179
Rumors that popularcolumnist Cindy Styne
01:24:12.181 --> 01:24:14.382
might be defecting
to the "New York chronicle"
01:24:14.584 --> 01:24:17.418
has sent Simpson's stocks
up eight points.
01:24:17.820 --> 01:24:19.119
Now what?
01:24:19.121 --> 01:24:21.121
Let's go watch a victory.
01:24:21.123 --> 01:24:23.724
So, we've successfully
concluded
01:24:23.926 --> 01:24:26.293
an exclusive
five year contract.
01:24:26.295 --> 01:24:28.495
And after lengthy negotiations,
01:24:28.497 --> 01:24:30.798
I'm very pleased to announce
01:24:30.800 --> 01:24:33.300
the acquisition
of "Ask Cindy."
01:24:33.702 --> 01:24:36.437
Which will debut next week
in National syndication.
01:24:36.439 --> 01:24:38.273
Amy, get ready.
01:24:38.275 --> 01:24:41.108
Ryan, it's going up so fast,
the ticker can't keep up!
01:24:41.410 --> 01:24:43.010
So without further ado,
01:24:43.012 --> 01:24:45.412
let me introduce
our new chronicle girl,
01:24:45.414 --> 01:24:47.548
Ms. Cindy Styne.
01:24:47.550 --> 01:24:49.349
Cindy.
01:24:49.351 --> 01:24:50.717
Amy?
01:24:50.719 --> 01:24:53.253
- How much is it up?
- 30 points!
01:24:53.255 --> 01:24:54.521
Hah!
01:24:54.523 --> 01:24:55.856
We just made a million five.
01:24:57.192 --> 01:24:59.259
Thank... ooh.
01:24:59.261 --> 01:25:01.095
- Thank you, Donny.
- Sell.
01:25:01.097 --> 01:25:02.729
Sell.
01:25:03.331 --> 01:25:05.199
- You're out.
- Good.
01:25:05.201 --> 01:25:07.434
Nice move.
01:25:07.436 --> 01:25:09.136
I'm excited to be part
01:25:09.138 --> 01:25:11.371
of the Simpson
publishing family.
01:25:11.373 --> 01:25:13.340
- Thank you, Cin...
- And...
01:25:15.210 --> 01:25:17.578
Excuse me.
And...
01:25:17.580 --> 01:25:20.447
things are gonna be
different from now on.
01:25:20.449 --> 01:25:22.749
Take it all, and sell it short.
01:25:22.751 --> 01:25:23.884
Are you sure?
01:25:23.886 --> 01:25:26.453
- What are you doing?
- Trust me.
01:25:26.455 --> 01:25:28.388
I used to be
pretty good at this.
01:25:29.324 --> 01:25:31.926
I'm betting that Simpson
is about to go down.
01:25:31.928 --> 01:25:35.129
...'Cause my life has
been a living hell.
01:25:35.131 --> 01:25:37.631
See, it wasn't me
writing my column.
01:25:37.633 --> 01:25:40.367
I was in Brazil.
01:25:40.369 --> 01:25:43.370
- Ladies and gentlemen.
- Don't bother.
01:25:43.372 --> 01:25:44.771
It was an impostor,
01:25:44.773 --> 01:25:48.208
my ex-boyfriend
forging my advice.
01:25:48.745 --> 01:25:51.411
But I am back now,
01:25:51.413 --> 01:25:54.515
so no more of that
pseudo-sensitive crap.
01:25:54.517 --> 01:25:56.383
- From now on...
- Thank you, Cindy!
01:25:56.385 --> 01:25:57.752
Thank you very much.
01:25:57.754 --> 01:25:59.887
Ms. Styne's humor
is one of the reasons
01:25:59.889 --> 01:26:02.623
the Simpson publishing
company is fortunate to have her.
01:26:02.625 --> 01:26:05.359
- Let's gloat.
- Let's.
01:26:05.361 --> 01:26:07.594
This conference is over.
01:26:07.596 --> 01:26:10.164
Hey! We got
a new breaking story.
01:26:10.166 --> 01:26:11.832
Mr. Simpson?
01:26:11.834 --> 01:26:14.501
Congratulations.
She's all yours.
01:26:16.237 --> 01:26:17.538
Donald.
01:26:18.473 --> 01:26:21.074
When you're screwed,
you're screwed.
01:26:25.947 --> 01:26:27.848
Come on!
01:26:28.250 --> 01:26:29.850
Are you hungry?
01:26:29.852 --> 01:26:31.919
I could eat.
01:26:33.254 --> 01:26:35.455
We made how much?
01:26:35.457 --> 01:26:37.891
Well, you made...
01:26:37.893 --> 01:26:39.326
It was your money.
01:26:39.328 --> 01:26:41.862
Oh! Wha...
01:26:48.737 --> 01:26:50.370
I have no idea.
01:26:50.372 --> 01:26:52.339
I'm sorry,
but he's in a meeting.
01:26:52.341 --> 01:26:54.241
Don't start with me.
01:26:54.243 --> 01:26:56.476
Donny!
01:26:56.478 --> 01:26:58.779
I need some help!
01:27:07.389 --> 01:27:08.455
Whoa!
01:27:12.636 --> 01:27:13.936
- Honey.
- Yeah.
01:27:13.962 --> 01:27:16.964
Is my tummy gonna look
all right after this?
01:27:16.966 --> 01:27:19.600
Like your new ass...
but flat...
01:27:19.602 --> 01:27:21.602
...and no crack.
01:27:25.440 --> 01:27:26.940
"Dear Ryan,
01:27:26.942 --> 01:27:30.477
I want to propose to
the only woman I ever loved,
01:27:30.479 --> 01:27:32.746
But I'd like to do it
in a surprising way.
01:27:32.748 --> 01:27:34.348
Any advice?
01:27:34.350 --> 01:27:36.850
Signed...
01:27:37.785 --> 01:27:39.519
...me."
01:27:46.027 --> 01:27:47.661
Hi.
01:27:47.663 --> 01:27:49.663
- Are you ready to go yet?
- Yeah.
01:27:49.665 --> 01:27:51.498
As soon as you approve this.
01:27:52.433 --> 01:27:53.834
Okay.
01:28:08.416 --> 01:28:09.750
Really?!
01:28:16.958 --> 01:28:19.026
Yes!
01:28:30.305 --> 01:28:32.372
Wait! My purse!
01:28:40.097 --> 01:28:44.097
.::Transcrypted & Improved by Dragonborn::.
01:28:45.305 --> 01:28:51.424
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