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1
00:00:00,172 --> 00:00:02,482
I can't wait to see
your new renovations.
2
00:00:02,566 --> 00:00:04,687
I have not been
this excited for a reveal
3
00:00:04,772 --> 00:00:06,968
since L.A. announced
their new composting program.
4
00:00:07,052 --> 00:00:08,539
Oh, yeah.
5
00:00:09,015 --> 00:00:10,410
You'reexcited?
6
00:00:10,534 --> 00:00:13,727
We've been living
with our parents for 140 days.
7
00:00:13,812 --> 00:00:16,008
Uh, I had 175.
8
00:00:16,093 --> 00:00:17,714
At least that's
what it felt like.
9
00:00:17,798 --> 00:00:19,125
You?
10
00:00:19,210 --> 00:00:22,164
I was about ready to Shawshank
my way out of there.
11
00:00:23,421 --> 00:00:24,460
Well, so hold on,
12
00:00:24,544 --> 00:00:26,897
Calvin, did you really
let Tina handle everything?
13
00:00:26,981 --> 00:00:28,601
- Yes.
- Look.
14
00:00:28,686 --> 00:00:31,727
All I wanted to know was
how much is it gonna cost,
15
00:00:31,812 --> 00:00:33,773
and when is it
gonna be done?
16
00:00:33,858 --> 00:00:35,414
Well, it's all done now.
17
00:00:35,499 --> 00:00:37,419
And the earthquake insurance
paid for most of it.
18
00:00:37,644 --> 00:00:38,946
Most of it?
19
00:00:39,031 --> 00:00:40,215
How much did we...?
20
00:00:40,300 --> 00:00:42,539
- Welcome, everybody, welcome!
- Yay!
21
00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:45,101
Welcome!
22
00:00:45,335 --> 00:00:47,134
Oh, my God!
23
00:00:47,219 --> 00:00:48,969
This is like the best episode
24
00:00:49,054 --> 00:00:50,921
of Fixer Upperever.
25
00:00:52,921 --> 00:00:54,229
Wow.
26
00:00:54,313 --> 00:00:56,057
Well, I sure hate our house now.
27
00:00:56,141 --> 00:00:57,406
Right?
28
00:00:57,967 --> 00:00:59,203
This is amazing.
29
00:00:59,288 --> 00:01:01,279
I wish it was this ritzy
when we were kids.
30
00:01:01,371 --> 00:01:03,506
- Hey, it's not ritzy... hey!
- Oh...
31
00:01:03,598 --> 00:01:05,625
D-Don't touch anything.
32
00:01:06,328 --> 00:01:08,570
It's a good thing it wasn't
this nice when we were young,
33
00:01:08,655 --> 00:01:10,463
'cause we would've
destroyed it.
34
00:01:10,547 --> 00:01:12,587
Oh, yeah, definitely, yeah,
we would've broken that.
35
00:01:12,671 --> 00:01:14,031
Yep. We would've broken that.
36
00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:15,820
We definitely
would've broken all that.
37
00:01:16,205 --> 00:01:17,960
And, look, Gemma!
38
00:01:18,045 --> 00:01:19,585
A wine fridge.
39
00:01:19,730 --> 00:01:21,735
- No more lukewarm chardonnay.
- Oh!
40
00:01:24,202 --> 00:01:27,351
So, Calvin, what do you
think about the new digs?
41
00:01:27,523 --> 00:01:30,265
Well, it's a lot of
big changes, but, um,
42
00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:32,351
I like what I've done
with the place.
43
00:01:32,444 --> 00:01:33,796
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
44
00:01:33,881 --> 00:01:37,235
You? You fought every single
change the whole way.
45
00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:39,781
Oh, Tina, Tina.
46
00:01:39,873 --> 00:01:42,233
How about we leave
the old attitude
47
00:01:42,318 --> 00:01:43,773
at the old house?
48
00:01:43,858 --> 00:01:46,117
It just doesn't go
with the decor.
49
00:01:47,318 --> 00:01:49,638
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
50
00:01:49,723 --> 00:01:51,265
♪ Welcome to the hood.
*THE NEIGHBORHOOD*
51
00:01:51,350 --> 00:01:52,648
Season 04 Episode 15
Aired on: March 14, 2022.
52
00:01:52,733 --> 00:01:53,932
Episode Title:
"Welcome to the Remodels"
53
00:01:54,016 --> 00:01:55,789
And this island is so big,
54
00:01:55,874 --> 00:01:58,023
it's almost
like an actual island.
55
00:01:58,828 --> 00:02:00,093
Nice.
56
00:02:00,178 --> 00:02:02,750
Now, when I tell the ladies
I've been to the islands,
57
00:02:02,835 --> 00:02:04,837
I won't be lying.
58
00:02:06,867 --> 00:02:08,085
Excuse me.
59
00:02:10,194 --> 00:02:11,570
Calvin!
60
00:02:11,671 --> 00:02:14,226
Wake up. What are you doing?
We have guests, baby.
61
00:02:14,439 --> 00:02:16,270
Well, don't blame me, babe.
62
00:02:16,448 --> 00:02:19,454
I mean, you're the one
that reupholstered my old chair.
63
00:02:19,539 --> 00:02:21,156
Hmm.
And she's so pretty,
64
00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:23,304
I might have to give her a name.
65
00:02:24,156 --> 00:02:25,671
Well, I'm glad
you like it,
66
00:02:25,756 --> 00:02:27,108
but if you name it,
67
00:02:27,193 --> 00:02:29,203
both of y'all gonna be
in the backyard.
68
00:02:30,209 --> 00:02:31,805
Just saying.
69
00:02:32,119 --> 00:02:34,023
Ooh, check out Mom's
new fancy refrigerator.
70
00:02:34,108 --> 00:02:35,843
It makes five different
types of ice.
71
00:02:35,928 --> 00:02:37,195
Ice is ice, Marty.
72
00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:38,720
How many different types
do you need?
73
00:02:39,011 --> 00:02:40,795
Oh, you simple man.
74
00:02:42,142 --> 00:02:44,727
This makes crushed,
cubed, shaved, pebbled,
75
00:02:44,812 --> 00:02:47,242
and a big-ass square block
for your Scotch.
76
00:02:47,327 --> 00:02:48,421
Check this out.
77
00:02:49,368 --> 00:02:50,960
Aha.
78
00:02:51,195 --> 00:02:53,445
This is why people
hate the rich.
79
00:02:53,850 --> 00:02:55,210
Thank you.
80
00:02:56,553 --> 00:02:58,689
Ooh, Tina!
81
00:02:59,089 --> 00:03:00,187
Calvin.
82
00:03:01,692 --> 00:03:04,002
Your home is just gorgeous!
83
00:03:04,086 --> 00:03:05,960
Oh, well, thank you,
Miss Kim.
84
00:03:06,045 --> 00:03:08,224
I'm so glad you chose to stay
85
00:03:08,363 --> 00:03:11,369
and remodel, instead of moving
out of the neighborhood.
86
00:03:11,789 --> 00:03:14,992
It's about time this
block started to change.
87
00:03:15,077 --> 00:03:18,437
Yeah, well, n-no, I'm not
trying to change anything.
88
00:03:20,379 --> 00:03:22,085
You've changed everything.
89
00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:26,437
I just hope you haven't
changed your bedroom curtains.
90
00:03:26,765 --> 00:03:29,500
I like seeing your
silhouettes at night.
91
00:03:31,242 --> 00:03:32,554
Tina, are you hearing
all this?
92
00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:34,731
Yeah, got it...
Blackout curtains.
93
00:03:35,125 --> 00:03:36,300
Uh, Miss Kim?
94
00:03:36,385 --> 00:03:37,812
Would you like
to see our bedroom
95
00:03:37,897 --> 00:03:39,467
from the inside
for a change?
96
00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:40,600
Oh, goodie.
97
00:03:40,685 --> 00:03:42,820
Okay, right this way.
98
00:03:42,915 --> 00:03:44,877
Well, well, well.
99
00:03:44,962 --> 00:03:46,706
Check you out.
100
00:03:46,791 --> 00:03:48,099
New kitchen,
101
00:03:48,184 --> 00:03:50,146
new living room, new furniture.
102
00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:52,540
I don't even know how to act
in this house anymore.
103
00:03:52,625 --> 00:03:55,109
Me neither. He even
bougied out his chair.
104
00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:57,265
Well, you know,
I upgraded her
105
00:03:57,350 --> 00:03:58,492
a little bit, man.
106
00:03:58,621 --> 00:04:00,190
And she hugs my body
107
00:04:00,275 --> 00:04:02,193
like I just came home
from the war.
108
00:04:04,226 --> 00:04:06,405
I'm thinking
about giving her a name.
109
00:04:06,561 --> 00:04:07,875
- Renata.
- Renata.
110
00:04:08,116 --> 00:04:10,796
- But don't tell Tina, don't tell Tina.
- Oh, no, no, uh-uh.
111
00:04:10,881 --> 00:04:12,385
Hey, come on,
let me get y'all a beer, man.
112
00:04:12,469 --> 00:04:13,601
All right, all right.
113
00:04:13,686 --> 00:04:15,929
Uh-oh, look at that,
green apples. Okay.
114
00:04:19,432 --> 00:04:21,539
Thank you, sir.
Now hold on.
115
00:04:21,624 --> 00:04:24,586
Let me elevate
the experience for you.
116
00:04:25,136 --> 00:04:26,781
Because beer...
117
00:04:26,939 --> 00:04:28,378
tastes better...
118
00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:30,242
in frosted mugs.
119
00:04:32,783 --> 00:04:34,353
A fridge just for
chilling beer mugs?
120
00:04:34,437 --> 00:04:36,094
Fancy.
Mm.
121
00:04:36,178 --> 00:04:37,308
Dang.
122
00:04:37,464 --> 00:04:39,886
- Ole Calvin used to be one of us.
- Mm-hmm.
123
00:04:39,971 --> 00:04:42,168
Now he done gone Hollywood.
124
00:04:42,837 --> 00:04:45,147
Can we even use slang
in this house anymore?
125
00:04:45,371 --> 00:04:46,941
Hey, man.
126
00:04:47,026 --> 00:04:49,519
Come on, now, I'm still
Calvin from the block.
127
00:04:49,604 --> 00:04:51,508
- Mm.
- Ain't nothing changed about me
128
00:04:51,593 --> 00:04:54,774
except for this house, and
insurance paid for most of it.
129
00:04:55,002 --> 00:04:58,121
What kind of bougie insurance
covers a mug froster?
130
00:04:58,206 --> 00:05:01,256
Man, I own a bar
and I don't even have that.
131
00:05:01,341 --> 00:05:03,756
Well, that's because I got
real insurance.
132
00:05:03,841 --> 00:05:06,542
Not one that has a table
at the swap meet.
133
00:05:08,425 --> 00:05:11,126
I must admit it's
really nice to see
134
00:05:11,233 --> 00:05:13,819
how the other half
lives... Hollywood.
135
00:05:16,246 --> 00:05:19,266
Okay, all right, you two
done had your fun, man.
136
00:05:19,351 --> 00:05:20,945
You can stop calling me
Hollywood.
137
00:05:21,030 --> 00:05:23,421
Hey, we ain't mad
at you, Hollywood.
138
00:05:24,710 --> 00:05:26,140
Don't call security.
139
00:05:26,225 --> 00:05:27,374
Uh-oh.
140
00:05:27,459 --> 00:05:28,985
No, I don't have
to call security,
141
00:05:29,070 --> 00:05:31,075
but I might call the IRS
and let 'em know
142
00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:33,452
that them two kids you claim
are not really yours.
143
00:05:38,423 --> 00:05:39,438
Hey, are you almost ready?
144
00:05:39,522 --> 00:05:41,297
We're gonna be late for
Calvin and Tina's party.
145
00:05:41,381 --> 00:05:43,179
I know,
but we need to talk.
146
00:05:43,614 --> 00:05:45,374
Oh, God, what did I do?
What did I forget?
147
00:05:45,460 --> 00:05:48,015
Can I just pre-apologize,
so we can go to the party?
148
00:05:49,982 --> 00:05:52,118
Look, watch whatever
freaky thing you're into,
149
00:05:52,211 --> 00:05:54,070
just please do it
on your own tablet.
150
00:05:55,774 --> 00:05:57,934
♪ Ride with me, all my girls,
all my girls with me... ♪
151
00:06:04,050 --> 00:06:07,317
Why didn't you tell me you were
into videos of women twerking?
152
00:06:07,402 --> 00:06:08,948
I'm not. I'm...
153
00:06:09,322 --> 00:06:11,776
I mean, I am now, uh...
154
00:06:12,709 --> 00:06:15,073
But it wasn't me
who was watching those videos.
155
00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:17,129
Oh, come on, Dave,
who else could it be?
156
00:06:17,213 --> 00:06:18,979
Hey, I'm ready to go.
157
00:06:20,519 --> 00:06:23,133
Marty said the housewarming's
turning into a dance party.
158
00:06:23,219 --> 00:06:24,397
I don't want to miss that.
159
00:06:24,598 --> 00:06:26,339
I bet you don't.
160
00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:30,182
Dave!
161
00:06:30,267 --> 00:06:31,753
Today it's twerking videos,
162
00:06:31,838 --> 00:06:33,407
tomorrow it's something...
163
00:06:33,788 --> 00:06:35,402
twerkier.
164
00:06:36,502 --> 00:06:37,728
Okay, well...
165
00:06:37,813 --> 00:06:39,209
let's cancel the Internet.
166
00:06:39,380 --> 00:06:40,924
No.
167
00:06:41,390 --> 00:06:42,527
I think it's time we have a more
168
00:06:42,611 --> 00:06:44,439
mature conversation
with him about sex.
169
00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:46,073
We've already explained
the basics,
170
00:06:46,158 --> 00:06:47,886
so we just need
to take it up a level.
171
00:06:48,254 --> 00:06:50,198
Yeah, you're right,
but I'll-I'll do it.
172
00:06:50,283 --> 00:06:52,362
Make it a father-son
bonding thing.
173
00:06:52,447 --> 00:06:53,987
But first...
174
00:06:54,351 --> 00:06:57,207
I don't know how they do this,
I mean, just-just physically.
175
00:06:57,292 --> 00:06:59,772
Oh, it's easy.
It's all in the knees.
176
00:07:03,159 --> 00:07:06,292
♪ Ride with me...
177
00:07:07,269 --> 00:07:08,698
How'd you get so good at that?
178
00:07:08,783 --> 00:07:10,440
From watching
twerking videos.
179
00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:13,011
But I clear
my search history.
180
00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:19,214
Hey, Calvin, is Grover inside?
181
00:07:19,385 --> 00:07:21,518
Yeah, he's in there
on my iPad.
182
00:07:21,603 --> 00:07:23,136
Oh, no!
183
00:07:26,287 --> 00:07:27,465
Whoa, look at you.
184
00:07:27,550 --> 00:07:29,784
Frosted mug.
Somebody's living large.
185
00:07:29,869 --> 00:07:32,229
I'm just living, Dave.
186
00:07:33,476 --> 00:07:35,598
Look, I'm sorry, man.
It's just a lot of people
187
00:07:35,683 --> 00:07:37,688
in there with a lot of opinions.
188
00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:40,774
Well, I'm glad
you're out here alone.
189
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:43,323
We need to talk about sex.
190
00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:48,149
Dave, we've had
that talk already.
191
00:07:49,767 --> 00:07:51,307
No.
192
00:07:51,462 --> 00:07:53,596
Gemma and I found out
that Grover's been watching
193
00:07:53,681 --> 00:07:55,206
these twerking videos, and now
194
00:07:55,291 --> 00:07:57,331
I have to have
a real sex talk with him.
195
00:07:57,416 --> 00:07:59,551
Oh.And I was hoping
to run some ideas by you,
196
00:07:59,636 --> 00:08:01,401
since presumably you've had
to do it twice.
197
00:08:01,486 --> 00:08:03,883
More like six times.
198
00:08:04,007 --> 00:08:07,274
Marty refused to believe
that people would engage
199
00:08:07,359 --> 00:08:09,418
in such "inappropriate
200
00:08:09,503 --> 00:08:11,959
and unsanitary behavior."
201
00:08:14,084 --> 00:08:15,800
Well, look,
I'm just trying to avoid it
202
00:08:16,004 --> 00:08:17,909
being awkward
and uncomfortable,
203
00:08:18,127 --> 00:08:20,729
like, like the sex talk
that I had with my dad.
204
00:08:20,837 --> 00:08:22,320
Well, Dave,
you have a way of making
205
00:08:22,405 --> 00:08:24,878
the simplest conversation
awkward.
206
00:08:25,648 --> 00:08:28,057
A lot like the way
this one started.
207
00:08:29,431 --> 00:08:31,073
Look, I know, and I just...
208
00:08:31,285 --> 00:08:32,593
I don't want
to screw up this up.
209
00:08:32,678 --> 00:08:34,042
Look, man.
210
00:08:34,306 --> 00:08:36,956
In this hyper-sexualized world
we live in,
211
00:08:37,041 --> 00:08:40,003
Grover is bound to be exposed
one way or the other,
212
00:08:40,526 --> 00:08:42,729
so you're smart to try
to get ahead of this.
213
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:46,339
But the most important thing
you can teach him
214
00:08:46,424 --> 00:08:48,503
is to make good decisions
215
00:08:48,588 --> 00:08:50,895
and treat his partners
with respect.
216
00:08:51,895 --> 00:08:53,030
Wow.
217
00:08:53,357 --> 00:08:56,099
You see, that, that was perfect.
218
00:08:56,545 --> 00:08:58,721
Can you be there
when I talk to Grover?
219
00:09:00,704 --> 00:09:04,073
So you want
your neighbor to watch
220
00:09:04,158 --> 00:09:07,573
while you talk
to your son about sex?
221
00:09:08,084 --> 00:09:11,081
No, you're right.
That's my dad's sex talk all over again.
222
00:09:14,169 --> 00:09:17,315
Oh, look, baby,
the Patels sent us a gift.
223
00:09:17,479 --> 00:09:18,698
You know,
the neighborhood is
224
00:09:18,783 --> 00:09:21,136
still talking about the party
and our remodel.
225
00:09:21,221 --> 00:09:22,661
Yeah, I know.
226
00:09:22,746 --> 00:09:24,597
I'm just worried that
showing off our house
227
00:09:24,682 --> 00:09:26,513
may have sent the wrong message.
228
00:09:26,598 --> 00:09:28,125
I mean, Ernie
and the guys
229
00:09:28,210 --> 00:09:29,650
kept saying that
I've gone Hollywood.
230
00:09:29,734 --> 00:09:32,781
And that the Butlers,
we all Bel Air bougie now.
231
00:09:34,670 --> 00:09:37,002
Baby, they're just
busting your chops.
232
00:09:37,087 --> 00:09:38,292
They didn't mean it.
233
00:09:38,618 --> 00:09:41,747
Mama, can I have
another espresso macchiato
234
00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:44,073
from your Italian coffee maker,
please?
235
00:09:44,633 --> 00:09:47,065
I love how it steams
the milk all light and foamy.
236
00:09:47,223 --> 00:09:48,464
Oh, okay.
237
00:09:48,549 --> 00:09:49,932
Oh, you want one,
Marty?
238
00:09:50,017 --> 00:09:52,909
Uh, I guess, although last time
239
00:09:52,994 --> 00:09:54,581
the steamed milk was light
240
00:09:54,666 --> 00:09:56,758
but it was not
particularly foamy.
241
00:09:57,737 --> 00:09:58,938
No.
242
00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:00,885
Not bougie at all.
243
00:10:01,494 --> 00:10:03,762
So why aren't y'all drinking
the coffee at your own place?
244
00:10:03,846 --> 00:10:05,372
'Cause you got all
the good stuff.
245
00:10:05,457 --> 00:10:07,549
And we need it especially
after playing poker
246
00:10:07,634 --> 00:10:09,581
at Ernie's all night long.Yeah.
247
00:10:09,902 --> 00:10:11,284
Ernie had a poker night?
248
00:10:11,369 --> 00:10:12,896
Well, yeah, Dad,
all the guys were there.
249
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:14,637
We figured you were busy
at the shop.
250
00:10:14,722 --> 00:10:16,690
No. I wasn't invited.
251
00:10:16,779 --> 00:10:17,870
You see, Tina?
252
00:10:17,974 --> 00:10:19,892
Baby, they probably just forgot.
253
00:10:19,999 --> 00:10:21,787
No, they didn't forget.
254
00:10:21,934 --> 00:10:24,548
They think I've changed, like
I'm not one of them anymore.
255
00:10:24,633 --> 00:10:27,220
No, no, look,
for what it's worth, Pop,
256
00:10:27,305 --> 00:10:29,448
we did have your back when
the guys were clowning you.
257
00:10:29,533 --> 00:10:31,542
- You did?
- Yeah.
258
00:10:31,627 --> 00:10:33,620
'Cause they was
going in on you, Pop!
259
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:36,636
Yo, Ernie said
you are so siditty,
260
00:10:36,721 --> 00:10:38,073
you now pronounce
your name
261
00:10:38,158 --> 00:10:40,862
Cal-veen Boot-lar!
262
00:10:44,129 --> 00:10:45,394
Ah!
263
00:10:48,633 --> 00:10:50,551
After a couple hours
of clowning you,
264
00:10:50,636 --> 00:10:52,815
we was like, "That's my
daddy, come on, now, like..."
265
00:10:53,667 --> 00:10:54,941
That's what you did?
266
00:10:55,026 --> 00:10:56,050
- Yeah.
- Yeah, we did.
267
00:10:56,135 --> 00:10:57,370
Okay, well, Cal-veen
268
00:10:57,455 --> 00:10:59,417
says get your own damn coffees.
269
00:10:59,795 --> 00:11:01,144
No, Daddy, no...
270
00:11:01,792 --> 00:11:04,198
Mmm, this isfoamy.
271
00:11:08,655 --> 00:11:10,182
- Tina?
- Mm-hmm.
272
00:11:10,267 --> 00:11:11,837
I was looking
at that bidet
273
00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:14,526
and realized
this is all your fault.
274
00:11:15,045 --> 00:11:17,112
My fault?
How is this my fault?
275
00:11:17,183 --> 00:11:18,949
Well, you're the one
that invited people
276
00:11:19,034 --> 00:11:20,800
over to our new abode and...
277
00:11:21,298 --> 00:11:23,343
Did I just say "abode"?
278
00:11:24,573 --> 00:11:25,933
What have you done to me?
279
00:11:26,017 --> 00:11:27,979
You know what,
maybe I have changed.
280
00:11:28,063 --> 00:11:30,221
Baby, you haven't changed.
281
00:11:30,306 --> 00:11:33,870
You just now have a house
that's tailored to your taste.
282
00:11:34,011 --> 00:11:35,636
They'll come around.
283
00:11:35,721 --> 00:11:37,909
No, this is how it starts, Tina.
284
00:11:38,034 --> 00:11:39,941
First you're not invited
to poker.
285
00:11:40,026 --> 00:11:42,175
Then you're shunned
by your whole community.
286
00:11:42,276 --> 00:11:44,063
Eventually your only friend
287
00:11:44,148 --> 00:11:46,511
is a recliner named Renata.
288
00:11:48,001 --> 00:11:50,753
Yeah, I knew you would name it.
289
00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:54,526
Babe, the way
she cradles me in her lap...
290
00:11:54,642 --> 00:11:57,604
just calling her "chair"
felt rude.
291
00:11:58,492 --> 00:12:01,128
Don't make me rip out
her stuffing.
292
00:12:01,582 --> 00:12:05,511
Look, baby, you're just
overreacting about all of this.
293
00:12:05,596 --> 00:12:08,310
Our community still looks
to you as a leader.
294
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:11,386
No, babe,
not if they can't relate to me.
295
00:12:11,471 --> 00:12:13,346
They're starting
to pull away, Tina.
296
00:12:13,431 --> 00:12:15,305
Because they think...
297
00:12:15,490 --> 00:12:17,862
they think I'm the new Omarosa.
298
00:12:18,634 --> 00:12:20,081
Okay.
299
00:12:20,216 --> 00:12:22,759
All right, no, how about this,
why don't you invite
300
00:12:22,844 --> 00:12:24,393
the guys over to watch a game?
301
00:12:24,478 --> 00:12:26,918
You can talk a lot of trash
and prove to them
302
00:12:27,003 --> 00:12:29,026
that you're still
the same old Calvin.
303
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:31,830
Splendid idea!
304
00:12:32,811 --> 00:12:34,859
This house got me saying
"splendid"
305
00:12:34,943 --> 00:12:36,382
with a British accent.
306
00:12:36,466 --> 00:12:37,831
Yeah.
307
00:12:37,916 --> 00:12:39,550
You know what, now I'm peeved.
308
00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:42,784
You know what, damn it,
I'm gonna just stop talking.
309
00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:48,292
Which is why the most
important thing is consent.
310
00:12:48,631 --> 00:12:50,550
You know, you never want
to make anyone do something
311
00:12:50,634 --> 00:12:52,116
that they're not
comfortable with.
312
00:12:52,565 --> 00:12:54,096
Well, you make me
clean my room.
313
00:12:54,180 --> 00:12:55,893
I didn't consentto that.
314
00:12:59,009 --> 00:13:00,927
Well, that's your mom, not me.
315
00:13:01,307 --> 00:13:04,531
Now, let's talk
about those twerking videos.
316
00:13:04,616 --> 00:13:07,535
It is completely normal
for you to want to watch them.
317
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:11,104
Oh, good, but why can't
I stop watching them?
318
00:13:12,604 --> 00:13:13,980
That's a good question.
319
00:13:14,065 --> 00:13:15,983
Uh, well...
320
00:13:16,068 --> 00:13:18,487
Grover, we have
these things called hormones.
321
00:13:18,572 --> 00:13:20,751
Uh, which are...
322
00:13:20,909 --> 00:13:23,432
you know, little guys that
bounce around inside your body
323
00:13:23,589 --> 00:13:26,518
and... make you want
to buy engagement rings
324
00:13:26,603 --> 00:13:29,868
and... be nice to passive-
aggressive mother-in-laws.
325
00:13:31,994 --> 00:13:33,213
What?
326
00:13:34,391 --> 00:13:36,744
No, I get it, I get it,
it's-it's complicated.
327
00:13:36,829 --> 00:13:38,181
Luckily...
328
00:13:38,615 --> 00:13:40,011
I've written a song.
329
00:13:40,095 --> 00:13:41,557
Oh, no.
330
00:13:45,596 --> 00:13:47,122
See, what'd I tell you, man?
331
00:13:47,207 --> 00:13:49,865
Just a regular old game night
with the regular fellas.
332
00:13:49,950 --> 00:13:51,824
Yeah, all right. Yeah!
333
00:13:51,909 --> 00:13:53,448
Thanks for having
us over, Calvin.
334
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:56,260
This new 4K TV
is no joke.
335
00:13:56,345 --> 00:13:59,252
The Lakers look like they're
actually in the living room.
336
00:13:59,776 --> 00:14:01,175
Oh!
337
00:14:01,335 --> 00:14:03,503
I thought Durant was
actually gonna kick me.
338
00:14:04,768 --> 00:14:07,095
Ooh, LeBron on a breakaway.
There he go!
339
00:14:07,775 --> 00:14:08,736
Boom!
340
00:14:12,666 --> 00:14:14,478
Uh... Malcolm did it.
341
00:14:14,563 --> 00:14:16,198
What?
Malcolm did it.
342
00:14:16,283 --> 00:14:17,440
Ernie did it.
343
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,485
Do not point your finger at me.
344
00:14:19,569 --> 00:14:21,226
Okay, all right, guys,
come on, now.
345
00:14:21,310 --> 00:14:22,706
Accidents happen.
346
00:14:22,790 --> 00:14:24,752
Ain't nothing a few napkins
can't take care of.
347
00:14:24,836 --> 00:14:26,928
Here you go, just get that.
348
00:14:27,012 --> 00:14:28,843
Are you okay? I'm okay.
349
00:14:29,263 --> 00:14:30,655
Yeah.
350
00:14:31,302 --> 00:14:32,931
- Ernie?
- Hmm?
351
00:14:33,016 --> 00:14:36,134
Old buddy, you mind, uh,
taking your feet off my ottoman?
352
00:14:36,286 --> 00:14:37,618
It's an ottoman.
353
00:14:37,703 --> 00:14:39,664
Isn't that where you're supposed
to put your feet?
354
00:14:39,869 --> 00:14:43,005
Not when it's made out
of Bolivian bovine, no.
355
00:14:43,949 --> 00:14:46,120
Oh, I thought you said
make ourselves at home,
356
00:14:46,205 --> 00:14:47,816
Hollywood.
357
00:14:49,182 --> 00:14:51,738
You're right, you're right.
358
00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:54,812
Mi casa, su casa.
359
00:14:55,761 --> 00:14:57,269
Yeah. Well, in that case...
360
00:14:57,433 --> 00:14:59,403
Oh!
361
00:14:59,488 --> 00:15:01,402
I'm sorry, I think
I broke your remote.
362
00:15:01,487 --> 00:15:03,536
That wasn't
just a remote!
363
00:15:03,675 --> 00:15:05,566
That was a new smart-house,
multi-platform,
364
00:15:05,651 --> 00:15:07,003
touch-screen keypad.
365
00:15:07,260 --> 00:15:09,035
My bad, Hollywood.
366
00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:11,865
But if it was so smart, it
should've moved out of the way.
367
00:15:13,667 --> 00:15:15,977
- Move... get out the way!
- Get out the way!
368
00:15:16,061 --> 00:15:17,956
You know what, that's it!
369
00:15:18,041 --> 00:15:20,328
You know what, I'm tired
of y'all thinking I'm different
370
00:15:20,413 --> 00:15:21,939
because of my house.
371
00:15:22,023 --> 00:15:23,894
Yes, it's beautiful.
372
00:15:23,979 --> 00:15:26,114
And, yes, I'm proud of it,
but just like y'all,
373
00:15:26,199 --> 00:15:27,987
I work hard to have what I have.
374
00:15:28,072 --> 00:15:30,316
Now get your Sasquatch feet
off my ottoman!
375
00:15:30,401 --> 00:15:32,189
Hey, uh...
376
00:15:32,329 --> 00:15:34,120
I think what my pops
is trying to say is,
377
00:15:34,205 --> 00:15:35,514
please respect his space.
378
00:15:35,599 --> 00:15:37,125
I-I'm sorry,
was I not clear?
379
00:15:37,210 --> 00:15:38,746
What I'm saying is...
380
00:15:38,831 --> 00:15:40,903
get the hell out of here!
Get out.
381
00:15:40,988 --> 00:15:42,524
- Go! Everybody...
- You talking to me?
382
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,570
Put the cup down, Ernie,
put the cup down.
383
00:15:44,654 --> 00:15:46,529
You know that,
and don't try to get no salsa,
384
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:48,339
don't try to take no chips.
Everybody, go.
385
00:15:49,311 --> 00:15:51,142
You know, I got to say,
386
00:15:51,308 --> 00:15:53,425
you're starting to feel
like the old Calvin again.
387
00:15:53,510 --> 00:15:55,378
Oh, you miss the old Calvin?
388
00:15:55,463 --> 00:15:56,831
- Yeah, man.
- Well, this is gonna
389
00:15:56,916 --> 00:15:58,019
warm your heart.
390
00:16:02,509 --> 00:16:04,906
So, you see, there's these
things called hormones.
391
00:16:04,991 --> 00:16:07,574
And they make you want
to buy expensive stuff.
392
00:16:08,825 --> 00:16:10,505
And you need consent,
but not when it comes
393
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,639
to cleaning your room
or eating broccoli.
394
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,644
Well, you know, it makes
more sense if you sing it.
395
00:16:15,729 --> 00:16:17,473
So the song is
basically about...
396
00:16:17,557 --> 00:16:20,041
♪ Touching and rubbing
397
00:16:20,125 --> 00:16:21,999
♪ And putting... Thank
you for sharing, Grover.
398
00:16:22,083 --> 00:16:24,144
But I believe
they've heard enough.
399
00:16:26,937 --> 00:16:28,550
What were you thinking?
400
00:16:28,635 --> 00:16:30,727
Every kid on the playground
is singing about sex,
401
00:16:30,812 --> 00:16:32,687
like it's
a fun Taylor Swift song.
402
00:16:32,855 --> 00:16:35,324
What do you have
to say for yourself?
403
00:16:38,673 --> 00:16:41,566
Did they really compare
my songwriting to Taylor Swift?
404
00:16:44,206 --> 00:16:45,863
Okay, I'm sorry...
405
00:16:45,948 --> 00:16:48,691
Ms. Johnson, but can we please
talk about this at home?
406
00:16:48,829 --> 00:16:50,703
No, because I'm not
your wife right now.
407
00:16:50,851 --> 00:16:52,595
I am your son's principal.
408
00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:54,552
Okay, well, in my defense,
409
00:16:55,035 --> 00:16:56,555
how do you explain hormones?
410
00:16:56,639 --> 00:16:58,319
I mean, nobody knows
what those things are.
411
00:16:58,706 --> 00:17:01,079
They're our bodies'
chemical messengers.
412
00:17:01,991 --> 00:17:04,191
Ooh, that's good, I got
to add that to my sex talk song.
413
00:17:05,128 --> 00:17:06,934
What rhymes with messenger?
414
00:17:07,019 --> 00:17:09,417
Got it. "Sex with her."
415
00:17:10,902 --> 00:17:12,559
Dave, Grover needs
416
00:17:12,644 --> 00:17:14,387
real information about sex.
417
00:17:14,518 --> 00:17:16,349
Yeah, I know...
you're right.
418
00:17:16,434 --> 00:17:18,352
I overthought it. I just,
I didn't want it to be
419
00:17:18,437 --> 00:17:20,094
like the sex talk
I had with my dad.
420
00:17:20,179 --> 00:17:22,054
Everything was
a power tool reference.
421
00:17:22,139 --> 00:17:25,230
I still feel dirty
walking around the Home Depot.
422
00:17:29,324 --> 00:17:30,746
Okay, so...
423
00:17:30,831 --> 00:17:32,270
what does this thing do again?
424
00:17:32,355 --> 00:17:34,055
It's a convection oven.
425
00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:36,377
It can braise, roast
and toast.
426
00:17:36,597 --> 00:17:38,714
Isn't that
what a regular oven does?
427
00:17:38,799 --> 00:17:41,065
Well, this one convections.
428
00:17:41,150 --> 00:17:42,589
Oh.
429
00:17:42,834 --> 00:17:44,531
Well, that clears that up.
430
00:17:46,421 --> 00:17:47,817
Oh, hey, Ernie. Come on in.
431
00:17:47,902 --> 00:17:49,123
Thank you.Mm-hmm.
432
00:17:49,208 --> 00:17:50,735
Oh, quick, Tina.
433
00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:52,520
Hide the Grey Poupon
434
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:54,413
before Ernie accuses me of being
435
00:17:54,498 --> 00:17:56,442
a mustard elitist.
436
00:18:00,255 --> 00:18:02,621
Actually, that's why I'm here.
437
00:18:02,919 --> 00:18:04,216
I want to apologize
438
00:18:04,301 --> 00:18:06,989
for all the snide comments
and rude jokes.
439
00:18:07,739 --> 00:18:09,134
You didn't deserve that.
440
00:18:09,538 --> 00:18:11,979
Yeah, man, I mean,
we've always kidded around,
441
00:18:12,063 --> 00:18:15,504
giving each other a hard time,
but... this felt different.
442
00:18:15,864 --> 00:18:18,681
I'm embarrassed to admit it,
but I was jealous.
443
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:21,989
I had a bad year at the bar.
I'm two months behind
444
00:18:22,073 --> 00:18:23,904
on rent and I...
445
00:18:23,988 --> 00:18:25,598
might have to shut down.
446
00:18:26,903 --> 00:18:28,560
But-but I still
shouldn't have taken
447
00:18:28,644 --> 00:18:30,516
my frustrations out on you.
448
00:18:31,517 --> 00:18:33,162
I'm sorry.
449
00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:35,131
Wow, man.
450
00:18:35,651 --> 00:18:37,787
I didn't know.
451
00:18:37,871 --> 00:18:39,832
Look, apology accepted.
452
00:18:39,916 --> 00:18:41,312
Thanks.
So...
453
00:18:41,396 --> 00:18:43,184
why don't you stay
and have some dinner with us.
454
00:18:43,268 --> 00:18:45,447
Well, I have good timing.
455
00:18:45,531 --> 00:18:46,927
Can I get you a beer?
456
00:18:47,011 --> 00:18:48,450
Oh, could I get one
of them frosted mugs?
457
00:18:48,534 --> 00:18:50,017
Oh, you ain't said
nothing but a word.
458
00:18:50,101 --> 00:18:51,366
Ah...
459
00:18:51,450 --> 00:18:53,904
Yeah, yeah,
all right, y'all.
460
00:18:53,989 --> 00:18:55,684
Time for me to head home.
461
00:18:55,769 --> 00:18:57,779
- Thank you for the hospitality.
- Okay.
462
00:18:57,864 --> 00:19:00,746
Oh, hey, hey!
Was that chicken convectioned?
463
00:19:01,035 --> 00:19:02,559
Why, yes, it was.
464
00:19:02,644 --> 00:19:04,171
Thank you for noticing.
465
00:19:04,264 --> 00:19:06,129
I knew it, yeah, yeah.
466
00:19:06,214 --> 00:19:07,654
Oh, uh, Ernie,
before you go,
467
00:19:07,744 --> 00:19:09,966
um, there's something
that we wanted to give you.
468
00:19:10,051 --> 00:19:12,100
What's this?
Look, man,
469
00:19:12,417 --> 00:19:15,205
I'm not a rich man,
but I am a blessed one.Yes.
470
00:19:15,430 --> 00:19:17,261
And as a small
business owner,
471
00:19:17,345 --> 00:19:19,655
I know how tough times can be.
472
00:19:19,739 --> 00:19:22,243
But even more importantly,
man, you're my boy.
473
00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:24,591
So I know you would do
the same for me.
474
00:19:25,984 --> 00:19:27,765
Aw...
475
00:19:28,215 --> 00:19:29,524
Hey, look...
476
00:19:29,756 --> 00:19:31,832
Thank-thank you,
but I-I can't take this.
477
00:19:31,917 --> 00:19:34,441
Oh... You can and you will.
478
00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:38,065
I appreciate it.
479
00:19:38,149 --> 00:19:40,875
Yeah, besides, man,
that right there, that's a loan.
480
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:43,898
Don't think your boy out here
giving away free money.
481
00:19:43,983 --> 00:19:46,641
Now, that
is the old Calvin.
482
00:19:46,766 --> 00:19:47,992
Yeah.
483
00:19:48,077 --> 00:19:49,336
Hey, thanks, you two.
484
00:19:49,421 --> 00:19:51,336
And I promise I will
repay this loan
485
00:19:51,421 --> 00:19:52,679
when I can.
486
00:19:52,857 --> 00:19:54,703
And when you do,
make sure you give me
487
00:19:54,788 --> 00:19:56,140
that other $40 you owe me.
488
00:19:56,225 --> 00:19:58,140
Yeah!
489
00:20:02,172 --> 00:20:04,569
And that's
how things really work.
490
00:20:05,325 --> 00:20:07,327
Wow!
491
00:20:09,350 --> 00:20:10,891
So, now that you have
this information,
492
00:20:10,976 --> 00:20:12,368
if you share it
with your friends,
493
00:20:12,453 --> 00:20:13,491
just stick to the facts.
494
00:20:13,575 --> 00:20:16,383
Oh, don't worry. I'd never
talk to my friends about this.
495
00:20:16,468 --> 00:20:19,390
Now that I know how
disgusting it is, count me out.
496
00:20:21,408 --> 00:20:23,883
Well, that went well.
497
00:20:24,078 --> 00:20:25,586
I know.
498
00:20:25,672 --> 00:20:28,492
I kind of want to update
my sex talk song now.
499
00:20:30,303 --> 00:20:32,221
Let me know
what you think of this.
500
00:20:32,524 --> 00:20:36,734
♪ She's got it, she's hypnotic
501
00:20:36,867 --> 00:20:40,844
♪ But now she's on antibiotics
502
00:20:41,070 --> 00:20:43,869
♪ She's got it, she's hyp...
503
00:20:44,344 --> 00:20:46,242
Captioned by Media Access Group
at WGBH access.wgbh.org
504
00:20:46,326 --> 00:20:48,326
Synchronized by srjanapala
36316
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