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Ah, nature,
it's beautiful
4
00:00:12,852 --> 00:00:16,654
and what better place to
enjoy it than a summer camp.
5
00:00:16,754 --> 00:00:20,090
Welcome to camp
big teepee, a place
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00:00:20,190 --> 00:00:22,490
where children come
year after year
7
00:00:22,590 --> 00:00:27,892
to gain the experience that
only a summer camp can provide.
8
00:00:27,992 --> 00:00:33,127
Experiences
that will last a lifetime.
9
00:00:33,227 --> 00:00:37,261
Children will learn to
share... to make friends...
10
00:00:37,361 --> 00:00:41,430
They'll learn to swim and
acquire valuable skills
11
00:00:41,530 --> 00:00:43,031
such as woodworking.
12
00:00:49,266 --> 00:00:52,601
Yes, camp big teepee provides
the physical exercise that
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00:00:52,700 --> 00:00:55,302
enables young bodies to grow.
14
00:00:55,402 --> 00:00:59,069
My chest grew a quarter
of an inch since last week.
15
00:00:59,169 --> 00:01:00,569
And
everyone will learn
16
00:01:00,669 --> 00:01:04,205
the value of determination
and self-restraint.
17
00:01:04,305 --> 00:01:09,607
Could it be three days
without wetting my bed?
18
00:01:09,706 --> 00:01:13,941
Three d... two... two days.
19
00:01:19,043 --> 00:01:20,543
Yes,
campers will be guided
20
00:01:20,643 --> 00:01:22,978
by the very
responsible counselors
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00:01:23,078 --> 00:01:25,812
who are always on the ball.
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00:01:25,912 --> 00:01:27,513
Dick.
23
00:01:27,613 --> 00:01:28,612
And Jane.
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00:01:28,679 --> 00:01:30,680
Oh, dick.
25
00:01:30,780 --> 00:01:31,814
Why Jane.
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00:01:31,914 --> 00:01:33,048
Ah!
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00:01:33,148 --> 00:01:34,382
Oh, dick.
28
00:01:34,481 --> 00:01:36,349
See spot run.
29
00:01:36,449 --> 00:01:37,450
Oh, yes!
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00:01:37,549 --> 00:01:39,683
But most
important, children are
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00:01:39,783 --> 00:01:42,518
taught to appreciate nature.
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00:01:42,618 --> 00:01:47,253
Ah, the forest...
Such a wondrous place.
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00:01:47,353 --> 00:01:49,886
Come campers, let us explore.
34
00:01:49,987 --> 00:01:52,122
If we keep our
eyes and ears open,
35
00:01:52,222 --> 00:01:53,788
we might just be
able to see some
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00:01:53,888 --> 00:01:56,423
of natures busy little creatures
in their natural habitat.
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00:01:59,957 --> 00:02:02,325
Now, listen
carefully, this region
38
00:02:02,425 --> 00:02:05,592
abounds with many
of the furry animals
39
00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:07,227
such as raccoon and beaver.
40
00:02:13,029 --> 00:02:14,629
Watch your step.
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00:02:14,729 --> 00:02:17,531
The brush is thick here.
42
00:02:17,631 --> 00:02:19,030
It's hard to see
where you're going.
43
00:02:22,066 --> 00:02:23,065
Ah!
44
00:02:31,536 --> 00:02:34,669
Our story begins
on the last day of camp.
45
00:02:34,769 --> 00:02:36,047
Attention campers...
46
00:02:36,071 --> 00:02:40,439
Like report for
totally grody mess hall
47
00:02:40,539 --> 00:02:45,506
because it's the super-mom end
of the summer speech thing, ok?
48
00:02:45,606 --> 00:02:48,707
Campers, it has been
a productive summer.
49
00:02:48,807 --> 00:02:53,044
I know we've all come a
long way in six weeks.
50
00:02:53,144 --> 00:02:54,477
We've had fun.
51
00:02:54,577 --> 00:02:55,277
But we've matured.
52
00:02:55,377 --> 00:02:57,511
Ah, phooey!
53
00:02:57,611 --> 00:02:59,778
Now, don't forget
to tell mom and dad
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00:02:59,878 --> 00:03:01,779
what a terrific
time you've had so
55
00:03:01,879 --> 00:03:05,514
that you can all come back next
year to be further enriched.
56
00:03:05,613 --> 00:03:08,582
And we can all make more
money... uh, friends.
57
00:03:12,183 --> 00:03:14,017
Attention campers,
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00:03:14,117 --> 00:03:20,086
ok, like, go to your whoa, hey,
like assigned activities, ok?
59
00:03:20,186 --> 00:03:23,920
Now follow me girls
and do exactly as I do.
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00:03:24,021 --> 00:03:26,921
One, two, stretch.
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00:03:27,022 --> 00:03:29,356
One, two, stretch.
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00:03:29,456 --> 00:03:33,291
One, two, stretch.
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00:03:33,390 --> 00:03:39,160
Girls... do exactly as I
do. Ooh.
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00:03:52,430 --> 00:03:55,598
The morning activity
is nature again?
65
00:03:55,698 --> 00:03:57,566
Oh, I hate nature!
66
00:03:57,666 --> 00:03:58,832
Nature hunt?
67
00:03:58,932 --> 00:04:00,300
I want to go shoot some hoops.
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00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:01,533
It's a nature hike.
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00:04:01,633 --> 00:04:02,967
And that means a lot of walking.
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00:04:03,068 --> 00:04:05,469
And I hope we're back
in time for lunch.
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00:04:05,569 --> 00:04:07,869
Oh, nature sucks and
so Doe that nature
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00:04:07,969 --> 00:04:09,270
counselor, miss farmer.
73
00:04:09,370 --> 00:04:11,304
Yeah.
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00:04:11,404 --> 00:04:17,273
Ok, campers, today the main
emphasis of our nature walk
75
00:04:17,373 --> 00:04:20,307
will deal with the
study of symbiosis.
76
00:04:20,407 --> 00:04:23,041
Does anybody know
what that means?
77
00:04:23,141 --> 00:04:23,941
Symbiosis?
78
00:04:24,042 --> 00:04:24,808
Mitchell?
79
00:04:24,908 --> 00:04:25,709
Huh?
80
00:04:25,809 --> 00:04:28,043
Symbiosis... uh, yeah.
81
00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:29,443
My mother had that once.
82
00:04:29,543 --> 00:04:30,786
But then she got some mouthwash.
83
00:04:30,810 --> 00:04:32,711
Now it's all better, huh?
84
00:04:32,811 --> 00:04:33,512
No.
85
00:04:33,612 --> 00:04:35,379
No, Mitchell.
86
00:04:35,479 --> 00:04:37,513
Mitch.
87
00:04:37,613 --> 00:04:39,514
Hey, where'd you get that?
88
00:04:39,614 --> 00:04:40,613
You want to get high?
89
00:04:40,647 --> 00:04:41,348
Sure.
90
00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:42,215
Hey, what are guys doing?
91
00:04:42,315 --> 00:04:43,314
Hey, bug off, shithead.
92
00:04:43,348 --> 00:04:44,216
Are you going to smoke that?
93
00:04:44,316 --> 00:04:45,849
Yeah, bigshot, you want a hit?
94
00:04:45,949 --> 00:04:47,550
Yeah, sure.
95
00:04:47,649 --> 00:04:48,649
Ok, great.
96
00:04:48,717 --> 00:04:49,716
Let's go.
97
00:04:49,784 --> 00:04:51,551
Oh, I'm always starved
after I smoke pot.
98
00:04:51,651 --> 00:04:52,518
I have no food.
99
00:04:52,618 --> 00:04:53,985
Oh, come on, Annie.
100
00:04:54,086 --> 00:04:54,986
Let's ask Henry.
101
00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:56,229
He's always got lots of food.
102
00:04:56,253 --> 00:04:57,087
Hey, Henry, you want a hit?
103
00:04:57,187 --> 00:04:58,054
Huh?
104
00:04:58,154 --> 00:04:59,454
You want a hit?
105
00:04:59,554 --> 00:05:00,454
No, don't hit me. Don't hit me.
106
00:05:00,554 --> 00:05:01,797
- Please don't do that.
- No, no, no.
107
00:05:01,821 --> 00:05:05,056
Do you want to smoke some grass?
108
00:05:05,156 --> 00:05:06,956
Oh, sure.
109
00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:10,325
Let's continue our nature hike.
110
00:05:10,425 --> 00:05:12,492
Let's see if we can find
some specific examples
111
00:05:12,592 --> 00:05:14,693
of symbiotic relationships.
112
00:05:14,793 --> 00:05:16,627
Fuck this nature shit.
113
00:05:16,727 --> 00:05:17,827
Let's go smoke the grass.
114
00:05:24,762 --> 00:05:25,630
Hey, guys!
115
00:05:25,730 --> 00:05:26,839
I've got the grass. Come on.
116
00:05:26,863 --> 00:05:27,862
Let's smoke it.
117
00:05:31,065 --> 00:05:32,100
Follow me, guys.
118
00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:33,666
I know just the place.
119
00:05:33,766 --> 00:05:35,466
Hey, Henry, where are we going?
120
00:05:35,566 --> 00:05:36,267
Come on.
121
00:05:36,367 --> 00:05:37,234
It's right here.
122
00:05:37,334 --> 00:05:38,502
I come here all the time.
123
00:05:38,601 --> 00:05:39,935
Oh!
124
00:05:40,035 --> 00:05:41,369
Yuck.
125
00:05:41,469 --> 00:05:44,204
Watch out for the
rabbit shit, guys.
126
00:05:44,304 --> 00:05:47,538
Hey, uh, Dan, you
got that lantern?
127
00:05:47,638 --> 00:05:48,338
It's dark in there.
128
00:05:48,438 --> 00:05:49,605
You go first.
129
00:05:49,705 --> 00:05:50,739
Who me?
130
00:05:50,839 --> 00:05:51,839
Yeah, come on. Go ahead.
131
00:05:51,939 --> 00:05:52,639
Come on, Danny.
132
00:05:52,739 --> 00:05:54,740
Come on.
133
00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:56,808
Why do I have to
go in the hole first?
134
00:05:56,908 --> 00:06:00,176
Because douche
bags go in the hole first.
135
00:06:00,275 --> 00:06:02,176
Are sure
it's safe in here?
136
00:06:02,276 --> 00:06:03,576
Come on.
137
00:06:03,676 --> 00:06:05,877
Mitch, you behind me?
138
00:06:05,977 --> 00:06:08,778
I'm right on your tail.
139
00:06:08,878 --> 00:06:12,480
Come on, you guys, my
place is just around here.
140
00:06:12,579 --> 00:06:14,447
Wow!
141
00:06:14,547 --> 00:06:15,947
Oh, shit.
142
00:06:16,047 --> 00:06:18,182
So do you guys want to
go by the onyx formation
143
00:06:18,282 --> 00:06:19,916
that looks like popcorn?
144
00:06:20,016 --> 00:06:22,917
Or the one that
looks like donuts?
145
00:06:23,017 --> 00:06:23,917
Donuts.
146
00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:26,884
Yeah, donuts.
147
00:06:28,485 --> 00:06:31,020
Henry, you farted
right in my face.
148
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:33,821
Sorry, cheese
sandwiches do that to me.
149
00:06:33,921 --> 00:06:35,688
Oh, the giant grape.
150
00:06:35,787 --> 00:06:36,622
Where is it?
151
00:06:36,722 --> 00:06:38,022
Right here.
152
00:06:38,123 --> 00:06:40,523
And for your
post-joint enjoyment,
153
00:06:40,623 --> 00:06:42,824
I always keep a
little food here just
154
00:06:42,924 --> 00:06:44,225
for these kind of emergencies.
155
00:06:44,325 --> 00:06:45,691
Good going, Henry.
156
00:06:45,791 --> 00:06:49,560
Mitchell, can you tell
me the name of that plant?
157
00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:51,993
Mitchell?
158
00:06:52,094 --> 00:06:54,394
Where's Mitchell?
159
00:06:54,494 --> 00:06:55,861
Where's Annie?
160
00:06:55,961 --> 00:06:58,330
Miss farmer, I saw them
leave with a funny cigarette.
161
00:06:58,430 --> 00:06:59,429
What?
162
00:06:59,463 --> 00:07:00,164
Yeah.
163
00:07:00,264 --> 00:07:03,064
Now, now, now, don't panic.
164
00:07:03,165 --> 00:07:04,444
Now you children
stay right here.
165
00:07:04,498 --> 00:07:05,865
I'll be right back.
166
00:07:05,965 --> 00:07:06,732
Now, don't move.
167
00:07:06,832 --> 00:07:08,566
Do you understand me?
168
00:07:08,666 --> 00:07:10,467
Dont' move.
169
00:07:10,567 --> 00:07:11,634
Yes, miss farmer.
170
00:07:16,636 --> 00:07:18,002
Screw here, let's go.
171
00:07:34,409 --> 00:07:36,143
Smooth stuff.
172
00:07:36,243 --> 00:07:38,202
Hey, Danny, come over here
and take a hit of this.
173
00:07:40,777 --> 00:07:41,478
Ouch!
174
00:07:41,578 --> 00:07:43,479
The joint burned my tongue.
175
00:07:43,579 --> 00:07:44,379
No, you idiot.
176
00:07:44,479 --> 00:07:45,846
Smoke the other end.
177
00:07:45,946 --> 00:07:49,314
Those assholes, I knew
I couldn't trust them.
178
00:07:52,549 --> 00:07:55,516
Oh, sinsemilla.
179
00:07:55,616 --> 00:07:57,384
Those kids have good taste.
180
00:07:57,484 --> 00:08:01,552
Shit, if I can only
get my hands on them.
181
00:08:01,652 --> 00:08:02,651
Is it imported?
182
00:08:04,986 --> 00:08:06,220
You bet.
183
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:07,587
Well, I only smoke the best.
184
00:08:07,687 --> 00:08:08,487
Well, it is the best.
185
00:08:08,587 --> 00:08:09,788
Ok, you guys.
186
00:08:09,888 --> 00:08:11,721
Don't try to get
rid of the smell.
187
00:08:11,821 --> 00:08:14,190
That's how I found you
in the first place.
188
00:08:14,290 --> 00:08:17,424
I could smell it a mile away.
189
00:08:17,524 --> 00:08:19,391
Danny Anderson!
190
00:08:19,491 --> 00:08:21,359
I'm ashamed of you.
191
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:25,361
And you were nominated for
most improved camper award.
192
00:08:25,460 --> 00:08:26,927
Why did you guys
leave the group?
193
00:08:27,026 --> 00:08:29,528
I could get in a lot of
trouble because of you.
194
00:08:29,628 --> 00:08:32,696
Well, what do you have
to say for yourselves?
195
00:08:32,796 --> 00:08:33,496
Want a hit?
196
00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:36,564
Oh, gee, thanks.
197
00:08:36,664 --> 00:08:40,232
No, I don't smoke pot.
198
00:08:40,332 --> 00:08:41,331
My body is a temple.
199
00:08:41,399 --> 00:08:42,742
I would never put any
chemicals into it.
200
00:08:42,766 --> 00:08:46,033
Yeah, except for maybe
your birth control pills.
201
00:08:46,134 --> 00:08:48,269
Why do you guys want
to do this anyway?
202
00:08:48,369 --> 00:08:50,902
I mean, you should
get high on nature.
203
00:08:51,002 --> 00:08:56,004
Just look at the beauty
and symmetry of this cave.
204
00:08:56,104 --> 00:08:58,572
This cave is a perfect
example of the changing
205
00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:01,639
state of nature.
206
00:09:01,739 --> 00:09:04,640
Just look at the way
that still stalactite
207
00:09:04,740 --> 00:09:09,276
delicately clings to the roof
of this cavernous orifice.
208
00:09:09,376 --> 00:09:14,178
The slightest movement or
sound could offset that balance
209
00:09:14,278 --> 00:09:17,279
and create an upheaval that
is probably how this cave
210
00:09:17,379 --> 00:09:19,246
was created in the first place.
211
00:09:19,346 --> 00:09:22,214
It's a spider!
212
00:09:22,314 --> 00:09:23,381
It's a spider!
213
00:09:23,481 --> 00:09:24,181
It's ok.
214
00:09:24,281 --> 00:09:26,148
It's ok.
215
00:09:26,248 --> 00:09:27,115
Huh?
216
00:09:30,683 --> 00:09:31,550
Ah!
217
00:09:31,650 --> 00:09:33,017
See what your
screaming has done?
218
00:09:33,117 --> 00:09:34,017
What?
219
00:09:34,117 --> 00:09:35,485
Are you trying to kill us?
220
00:09:35,585 --> 00:09:37,752
It's not Annie'sfault. It's just
221
00:09:37,852 --> 00:09:41,887
a demonstration of nature in
an ever-changing state of flux.
222
00:09:45,455 --> 00:09:46,855
Oh, fuck the flux.
223
00:09:46,955 --> 00:09:49,990
Let's get the fuck out of here.
224
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,857
Don't panic.
225
00:09:51,957 --> 00:09:54,725
The slightest sound
could cause a cave-in.
226
00:09:54,825 --> 00:09:58,226
Now let's move very
slowly out of the cave.
227
00:09:58,326 --> 00:09:59,394
Go ahead, Mitchell.
228
00:09:59,494 --> 00:10:00,227
No, no, no.
229
00:10:00,327 --> 00:10:01,594
Ladies first.
230
00:10:01,694 --> 00:10:02,761
You go first.
231
00:10:02,860 --> 00:10:05,662
Ok, now remember
don't make a sound.
232
00:10:13,365 --> 00:10:14,364
Shh!
233
00:10:26,669 --> 00:10:27,668
Oh, shit!
234
00:10:30,438 --> 00:10:31,338
Ah!
235
00:10:45,310 --> 00:10:48,577
If I told you once, I told
you a thousand times, butch.
236
00:10:48,677 --> 00:10:50,612
You've got to water
down the milk.
237
00:10:50,711 --> 00:10:52,812
This milk bill is killing me.
238
00:10:52,912 --> 00:10:54,846
And another thing,
you've got to double dose
239
00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:57,280
the salt Peter in the bug juice.
240
00:10:57,380 --> 00:10:59,815
These kids are getting
a little bit too frisky.
241
00:10:59,915 --> 00:11:00,615
Loose joints!
242
00:11:00,715 --> 00:11:01,715
Loose joints!
243
00:11:01,815 --> 00:11:03,192
Nickle bags... come on,
loose, I got it all.
244
00:11:03,216 --> 00:11:04,725
You don't got a date to
take to the boathouse?
245
00:11:04,749 --> 00:11:07,983
My friend... she'll
take good care of you.
246
00:11:08,083 --> 00:11:09,418
There you go. Come on, guys.
247
00:11:09,518 --> 00:11:10,619
I got to go.
248
00:11:10,719 --> 00:11:11,928
You got some petroleum
jelly for your girlfriend.
249
00:11:11,952 --> 00:11:13,052
I got it. I got a bong.
250
00:11:13,152 --> 00:11:15,786
I got it all, guys.
251
00:11:15,886 --> 00:11:16,721
Is everybody ok?
252
00:11:16,821 --> 00:11:18,121
Danny?
253
00:11:18,222 --> 00:11:21,356
The whole fucking thing
caved in on us, asshole.
254
00:11:21,456 --> 00:11:22,723
I'm sorry guys.
255
00:11:22,823 --> 00:11:25,857
I guess I shouldn't have had
that other cheese sandwich.
256
00:11:25,957 --> 00:11:28,525
Yeah.
257
00:11:28,625 --> 00:11:29,864
All right, listen, don't worry.
258
00:11:29,958 --> 00:11:30,659
I'll get us out of here.
259
00:11:30,759 --> 00:11:31,459
All right?
260
00:11:31,559 --> 00:11:33,092
All right.
261
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,294
My head.
262
00:11:35,394 --> 00:11:36,694
Holy shit!
263
00:11:36,794 --> 00:11:38,571
I'll never be ready
for the end-of-season banquet.
264
00:11:38,595 --> 00:11:39,495
Oh, yeah, the banquet.
265
00:11:39,595 --> 00:11:41,862
And they're having
chocolate pudding.
266
00:11:41,962 --> 00:11:42,763
Come on, Mitch.
267
00:11:42,863 --> 00:11:43,696
You can get us out of here.
268
00:11:43,796 --> 00:11:45,631
I know you can.
269
00:11:45,731 --> 00:11:47,131
Damn, these fucking rocks.
270
00:11:51,499 --> 00:11:53,534
Ah!
271
00:11:53,634 --> 00:11:55,100
There's no way.
272
00:11:55,201 --> 00:11:57,035
There's no fucking way.
273
00:11:57,135 --> 00:11:58,835
There's thousands
of rocks back there.
274
00:11:58,935 --> 00:12:00,412
Now what are we going
to do miss know-it-all.
275
00:12:00,436 --> 00:12:02,703
Well, don't panic.
276
00:12:02,803 --> 00:12:06,104
Well, let's look on
the positive side.
277
00:12:06,205 --> 00:12:09,506
We still have light
and half a joint.
278
00:12:09,605 --> 00:12:10,473
Half a joint.
279
00:12:10,573 --> 00:12:12,906
And let's see, who
knows we're here.
280
00:12:13,006 --> 00:12:14,107
My campers!
281
00:12:14,207 --> 00:12:16,908
They're still back on
the trail waiting for me.
282
00:12:17,008 --> 00:12:18,875
They are bound to come
and get us in no time.
283
00:12:18,975 --> 00:12:21,210
Ahh!
284
00:12:21,310 --> 00:12:22,844
Oh, boy, what a relief.
285
00:12:22,944 --> 00:12:26,246
Hey, clem, what's that
guy doing by our fence?
286
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:28,312
So hard to find a good
piss pole these days.
287
00:12:28,412 --> 00:12:29,646
And this one is a beauty.
288
00:12:29,746 --> 00:12:31,905
Hey, it looks like he's
breaking into our chicken Coop.
289
00:12:31,980 --> 00:12:32,713
What a relief.
290
00:12:32,813 --> 00:12:34,024
Oh, my back teeth were floating.
291
00:12:34,048 --> 00:12:36,048
My teeth were just
going to fall right out.
292
00:12:36,148 --> 00:12:37,415
They were just floating.
293
00:12:37,515 --> 00:12:38,982
Oh, thank goodness
I found this pole.
294
00:12:39,082 --> 00:12:40,317
I thought it...
295
00:12:40,416 --> 00:12:47,719
Ok, buster, put up your hands
and turn around real slow.
296
00:12:47,819 --> 00:12:49,153
Well, wait, wait, wait.
297
00:12:49,254 --> 00:12:50,587
Shut up!
298
00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:55,489
Put up your hands and
turn around real slow.
299
00:12:55,589 --> 00:12:57,122
Well, ok.
300
00:13:01,057 --> 00:13:02,524
Oh, don't hurt me.
301
00:13:05,959 --> 00:13:06,792
Huh?
302
00:13:06,892 --> 00:13:08,526
These water bills
are killing me.
303
00:13:08,626 --> 00:13:10,661
Now, I told you I
wanted three campers
304
00:13:10,761 --> 00:13:12,695
to pee before each flush.
305
00:13:12,795 --> 00:13:13,495
Get it?
306
00:13:13,595 --> 00:13:14,296
Got it.
307
00:13:14,396 --> 00:13:15,229
Good.
308
00:13:15,329 --> 00:13:16,339
Lebotomy, what
are you doing back
309
00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:18,497
so soon from the nature hunt?
310
00:13:18,597 --> 00:13:19,964
Danny Anderson.
311
00:13:20,064 --> 00:13:24,232
Mitch, Annie, and
Henry... funny cigarettes.
312
00:13:24,332 --> 00:13:25,066
Frogs!
313
00:13:25,166 --> 00:13:26,700
What are you trying to tell me?
314
00:13:26,799 --> 00:13:28,333
Well, they're lost.
315
00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:30,568
And they're not coming back.
316
00:13:30,668 --> 00:13:32,101
Merriam, check on his story.
317
00:13:32,201 --> 00:13:34,869
We've got to find those kids.
318
00:13:34,969 --> 00:13:37,903
Some of them haven't
paid their bill yet.
319
00:13:38,003 --> 00:13:39,771
What time is it, miss farmer?
320
00:13:39,871 --> 00:13:40,572
Leave me alone.
321
00:13:40,672 --> 00:13:42,138
Oh, excuse me.
322
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:43,282
What's the matter with you?
323
00:13:43,306 --> 00:13:44,882
You've never been
touched by a man before?
324
00:13:44,906 --> 00:13:46,474
Scared I might turn you on?
325
00:13:46,574 --> 00:13:48,241
Big shot.
326
00:13:48,341 --> 00:13:51,708
I am sick of yours
notty comments.
327
00:13:51,808 --> 00:13:55,243
I have been touched by more men
than you could even imagine.
328
00:13:55,343 --> 00:13:56,819
I bet you wouldn't even
know what to do if I
329
00:13:56,843 --> 00:13:59,311
really let you touch me anyway.
330
00:13:59,411 --> 00:14:02,145
Yeah, I bet you never even
have gotten laid, stub.
331
00:14:02,246 --> 00:14:04,713
Hey, listen, I wouldn't want
to bore you with the details.
332
00:14:04,813 --> 00:14:07,247
Besides, you wouldn't
understand half of it anyway.
333
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:08,415
And don't call me stub.
334
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:09,514
My name is stud.
335
00:14:12,015 --> 00:14:16,184
Ok stub, why don't you tell
us about your sexual conquests?
336
00:14:16,284 --> 00:14:17,451
Yeah.
337
00:14:17,551 --> 00:14:18,830
I don't want to talk about this.
338
00:14:21,452 --> 00:14:26,120
The act of sexual intercourse...
The coupling of two organisms
339
00:14:26,220 --> 00:14:29,589
is the most important
and obviously essential
340
00:14:29,689 --> 00:14:32,756
when in the life
cycle of the species.
341
00:14:32,856 --> 00:14:34,123
What the hell did she just say?
342
00:14:34,223 --> 00:14:38,358
She's trying to tell us she
never bobbed on a man before.
343
00:14:38,458 --> 00:14:40,559
How about it, nature counselor?
344
00:14:40,659 --> 00:14:43,860
I bet you're the world's
first 22-year-old virgin.
345
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:46,728
Yeah, when did miss nature
teacher get her cherry
346
00:14:46,828 --> 00:14:49,462
popped.
347
00:14:49,562 --> 00:14:52,697
Aren't we all charming today?
348
00:14:52,797 --> 00:14:55,664
Ok, stub, you're
going to enlighten us
349
00:14:55,764 --> 00:14:58,765
on your vast sexual experience.
350
00:14:58,865 --> 00:14:59,732
Ok.
351
00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:01,132
Ok, all right.
352
00:15:01,232 --> 00:15:03,501
I'll tell you all about
the first time I got laid.
353
00:15:03,601 --> 00:15:04,834
Hmm?
354
00:15:04,934 --> 00:15:05,934
Under one condition.
355
00:15:06,034 --> 00:15:07,234
Yeah?
356
00:15:07,335 --> 00:15:09,494
That you all tell me about
the first time you got laid.
357
00:15:12,003 --> 00:15:12,737
What's the matter?
358
00:15:12,837 --> 00:15:14,438
You've all done it haven't you?
359
00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:15,805
Of course.
360
00:15:15,905 --> 00:15:16,947
What do you take us for?
361
00:15:16,971 --> 00:15:20,206
Hey, Henry, we got a
virgin in the group?
362
00:15:20,307 --> 00:15:21,940
Nah.
363
00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:23,708
I always get fucked.
364
00:15:23,808 --> 00:15:26,074
Come on,
Mitch, you start off.
365
00:15:26,174 --> 00:15:31,811
The first time I got lad, hmm,
shit, there's been so many.
366
00:15:31,911 --> 00:15:33,877
Ah, I remember.
367
00:15:33,977 --> 00:15:36,812
It all started when I had a
fight with my chick, Kathy.
368
00:15:36,912 --> 00:15:40,113
I took here to inspiration
point, a nice secluded place
369
00:15:40,213 --> 00:15:42,448
where I knew we
could be all alone.
370
00:15:42,548 --> 00:15:46,949
Then I started to put these
major league moves on her.
371
00:15:47,049 --> 00:15:50,517
Oh, is that bubble gum I taste?
372
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:53,618
No, I just have this
terrible sinus congestion.
373
00:15:53,718 --> 00:15:54,718
Ah.
374
00:16:09,857 --> 00:16:11,358
Kathy, if you could just...
375
00:16:11,458 --> 00:16:13,492
Stud, we've only
been going out a week.
376
00:16:13,592 --> 00:16:14,492
Oh, I know.
377
00:16:14,592 --> 00:16:16,859
It's been a good week too.
378
00:16:16,959 --> 00:16:17,993
Just like...
379
00:16:18,093 --> 00:16:20,494
I really don't want to.
380
00:16:20,594 --> 00:16:25,229
Yeah, yeah, just... just... yeah.
381
00:16:25,330 --> 00:16:26,329
Just...
382
00:16:26,363 --> 00:16:27,540
As usual, the chick
383
00:16:27,564 --> 00:16:29,897
had her hands all over me.
384
00:16:29,997 --> 00:16:31,365
I had to fight her away.
385
00:16:31,465 --> 00:16:32,464
Oh, Jess!
386
00:16:32,498 --> 00:16:33,366
Oh, Jess!
387
00:16:33,466 --> 00:16:34,366
Oh, Jess!
388
00:16:34,466 --> 00:16:35,333
Oh, Jess!
389
00:16:35,433 --> 00:16:36,834
Oh, Jess!
390
00:16:36,933 --> 00:16:38,500
Oh, Jess!
391
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:39,600
Ahhh!
392
00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:44,936
Jesus Christ!
393
00:16:45,036 --> 00:16:47,604
What is this sticky
shit all over my dress?
394
00:16:47,703 --> 00:16:49,304
You pig!
395
00:16:49,404 --> 00:16:51,305
I hope this doesn't
get me pregnant.
396
00:16:51,405 --> 00:16:53,482
But I knew
it couldn't last forever.
397
00:16:53,506 --> 00:16:55,341
So I hit the road.
398
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:56,140
Oh!
399
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:57,607
Pig, get out of here.
400
00:16:57,707 --> 00:16:58,574
Asshole!
401
00:16:58,674 --> 00:16:59,674
You weenie.
402
00:17:02,776 --> 00:17:03,775
Excuse me.
403
00:17:07,010 --> 00:17:09,011
I decided to go while
the going was good.
404
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:13,079
I don't like chicks
who get stuck on me.
405
00:17:13,179 --> 00:17:14,547
Oooh.
406
00:17:14,647 --> 00:17:16,526
So I
decided to thumb a ride.
407
00:17:18,814 --> 00:17:22,082
People always took an
instant liking to me.
408
00:17:22,182 --> 00:17:24,216
All I had to dow
as flex my biceps.
409
00:17:24,317 --> 00:17:25,851
And it was easy as
fucking a tomato.
410
00:17:29,418 --> 00:17:31,419
A real cute chick picked me up.
411
00:17:31,519 --> 00:17:35,555
I could tell she was a
real nice clean cut girl.
412
00:17:35,654 --> 00:17:38,021
She wasn't like Kathy at all.
413
00:17:38,121 --> 00:17:39,120
She was mature.
414
00:17:41,889 --> 00:17:42,923
What's your name?
415
00:17:43,023 --> 00:17:44,758
My name is Mitch.
416
00:17:44,857 --> 00:17:47,859
But friends call
me stub... ah, stud.
417
00:17:47,958 --> 00:17:48,759
Stud?
418
00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:49,959
Why is that?
419
00:17:50,059 --> 00:17:52,593
It's a long line of women
who can tell you why.
420
00:17:52,693 --> 00:17:56,061
Are you always
so shy and modest?
421
00:17:56,161 --> 00:17:58,529
Only with breasts...
Uh, girls I like.
422
00:17:58,629 --> 00:17:59,396
Ah.
423
00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:01,896
Does that mean you like me?
424
00:18:01,996 --> 00:18:05,097
Well, you sure are kind of cute.
425
00:18:05,197 --> 00:18:08,632
I really like the preppy look.
426
00:18:08,732 --> 00:18:10,533
Gee, thanks a lot, you know?
427
00:18:10,633 --> 00:18:13,734
I don't get too compliments
in my line of work.
428
00:18:13,834 --> 00:18:14,833
What's your line of work?
429
00:18:18,370 --> 00:18:20,870
I mean, you can't
tell what I do?
430
00:18:20,970 --> 00:18:22,537
Not really.
431
00:18:22,637 --> 00:18:26,572
Hey, stud... into the road.
432
00:18:26,672 --> 00:18:28,305
You never did tell
me what you did.
433
00:18:28,406 --> 00:18:31,340
Uh, I'm a hooker, you know?
434
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:33,375
A real, live call girl.
435
00:18:33,475 --> 00:18:35,975
Bullshit.
436
00:18:36,075 --> 00:18:38,377
Would I lie about
something like that?
437
00:18:38,477 --> 00:18:41,544
No, I guess not.
438
00:18:41,644 --> 00:18:44,812
Why don't you come
over for a drink?
439
00:18:44,912 --> 00:18:47,513
I'm sure you can find the time.
440
00:18:47,613 --> 00:18:49,481
Well, yeah, I guess
I could do that.
441
00:18:49,581 --> 00:18:50,580
Where do you live?
442
00:18:54,082 --> 00:18:56,349
I finally hit
the jackpot with this chick.
443
00:18:56,449 --> 00:18:58,884
But I didn't want to
screw up this opportunity.
444
00:18:58,984 --> 00:19:00,584
So I decided to
bring my friend Jeff
445
00:19:00,684 --> 00:19:02,317
along because he
read all the books
446
00:19:02,418 --> 00:19:04,586
and how to score with the women.
447
00:19:04,686 --> 00:19:06,553
This is it.
448
00:19:06,653 --> 00:19:09,421
Mitch, don't worry
about a thing, ok?
449
00:19:09,521 --> 00:19:12,121
Just run the order past
me one more time now.
450
00:19:12,221 --> 00:19:14,390
Ok, ok.
451
00:19:14,489 --> 00:19:15,489
First, body hygiene.
452
00:19:15,556 --> 00:19:16,390
Oh, Mitch, no.
453
00:19:16,490 --> 00:19:17,491
Oh, come on, Jeff.
454
00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:20,124
Now, how many times
have I got to tell you?
455
00:19:20,224 --> 00:19:21,992
One, you blow in her ear.
456
00:19:22,092 --> 00:19:24,593
That drives them wild.
457
00:19:24,693 --> 00:19:27,059
Two, body hygiene...
Ok, some guys
458
00:19:27,159 --> 00:19:29,160
like for a guy to spend
some time in the bathroom
459
00:19:29,260 --> 00:19:32,562
before indulging
in such activities.
460
00:19:32,662 --> 00:19:36,196
Three, moan and groan...
It drives them wild.
461
00:19:36,296 --> 00:19:38,398
Four, get them nice and wet.
462
00:19:38,498 --> 00:19:42,632
And five, zingo!
463
00:19:42,732 --> 00:19:43,466
Zingo!
464
00:19:43,566 --> 00:19:44,866
Zingo.
465
00:19:44,966 --> 00:19:48,435
Now, if all else fails, take
my words of wisdom for advice.
466
00:19:48,534 --> 00:19:49,234
Ok.
467
00:19:49,334 --> 00:19:51,202
When in doubt, whip it out.
468
00:19:51,302 --> 00:19:52,002
Ok.
469
00:19:52,102 --> 00:19:53,168
That's it. Come on.
470
00:19:53,268 --> 00:19:54,268
Let's get going.
471
00:20:00,938 --> 00:20:02,639
Jeff was a real pro.
472
00:20:02,739 --> 00:20:05,107
He started the evening
off with rule number one.
473
00:20:05,207 --> 00:20:06,441
He blew in her ear.
474
00:20:09,609 --> 00:20:12,810
Well, here I am, babe,
all six inches of me.
475
00:20:12,910 --> 00:20:13,909
Who is this?
476
00:20:13,976 --> 00:20:14,743
Who me?
477
00:20:14,843 --> 00:20:15,711
Hey, I'm Jeff.
478
00:20:15,811 --> 00:20:17,277
I'm here to give
you some hot action.
479
00:20:17,378 --> 00:20:19,578
Well, Mitch I'm first.
480
00:20:19,678 --> 00:20:21,021
Make yourself
comfortable because this
481
00:20:21,045 --> 00:20:22,113
is going to take a while.
482
00:20:22,213 --> 00:20:22,913
As for you sweetheart.
483
00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:24,012
Tell me, what do we got?
484
00:20:24,046 --> 00:20:25,046
Around the world?
485
00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:27,180
Half and half French-Greek?
486
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:29,449
I know Greek is
usually a little extra.
487
00:20:29,549 --> 00:20:33,316
Hey, maybe we can get
the two for one price.
488
00:20:33,417 --> 00:20:35,884
Oh, hey, I know you
professional type girls.
489
00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:37,685
You like to see the
cash first, right?
490
00:20:37,785 --> 00:20:38,919
Hey, ok, I don't blame you.
491
00:20:39,019 --> 00:20:40,019
I come prepared.
492
00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:41,118
Don't worry.
493
00:20:41,185 --> 00:20:43,020
Let's see if we've
got a one dollar, two
494
00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:45,654
dollars, a three, four dollars.
495
00:20:45,754 --> 00:20:47,555
How does that sound, sweetheart?
496
00:20:47,655 --> 00:20:48,988
There's more where
this came from.
497
00:20:49,088 --> 00:20:50,123
You know what I mean?
498
00:20:50,223 --> 00:20:51,323
Well?
499
00:20:51,424 --> 00:20:52,663
What did you say your name was?
500
00:20:52,690 --> 00:20:53,524
Jeff? Jeff: Jeff.
501
00:20:53,624 --> 00:20:54,625
You got it.-Come on in.
502
00:20:54,725 --> 00:20:55,425
Ok.
503
00:21:05,462 --> 00:21:06,829
I don't believe what I've done.
504
00:21:06,929 --> 00:21:08,596
Look at this place.
505
00:21:08,696 --> 00:21:11,096
This isn't the living
room of a hooker.
506
00:21:11,196 --> 00:21:15,532
This is the living
room of a nice girl.
507
00:21:15,632 --> 00:21:16,708
Excuse me for a moment please.
508
00:21:16,732 --> 00:21:17,732
Yeah, really?
509
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:21,434
Holy shit!
510
00:21:21,534 --> 00:21:22,834
What the hell was in that book?
511
00:21:22,934 --> 00:21:26,301
Moans and groans... a
body hygiene... my notes.
512
00:21:26,402 --> 00:21:27,978
"Blow in her ear, body
hygiene, moans and groans,
513
00:21:28,002 --> 00:21:29,336
get her nice and wet, zingo."
514
00:21:29,437 --> 00:21:30,756
Ok, step number
two, body hygiene.
515
00:21:35,739 --> 00:21:38,239
Oh, my god.
516
00:21:38,339 --> 00:21:39,339
Whoo!
517
00:21:53,678 --> 00:21:58,613
Oh, geez, champagne.
518
00:21:58,713 --> 00:22:02,348
Oh, you brought me champagne.
519
00:22:02,449 --> 00:22:07,484
Ok, body hygiene.
"Moans and groans."
520
00:22:07,583 --> 00:22:11,718
Moans and groans... uh... no, no.
521
00:22:11,818 --> 00:22:12,585
Uh!
522
00:22:12,685 --> 00:22:13,685
No, geez.
523
00:22:17,554 --> 00:22:18,553
Oh!
524
00:22:21,355 --> 00:22:23,155
Oh!
525
00:22:23,255 --> 00:22:25,089
Yeah.
526
00:22:29,491 --> 00:22:30,391
I got it now.
527
00:22:30,492 --> 00:22:31,801
All I git to do is
take up my pants.
528
00:22:31,825 --> 00:22:33,325
And I don't need
a book for that.
529
00:22:33,426 --> 00:22:38,428
Oh, look at this...
Horsd'oeuvres... beautiful...
530
00:22:38,527 --> 00:22:40,361
Beautiful hors d'oeuvres.
531
00:22:40,462 --> 00:22:42,228
And I brought that animal here.
532
00:22:42,328 --> 00:22:43,496
That animal!
533
00:22:43,596 --> 00:22:44,596
Oh!
534
00:22:47,797 --> 00:22:50,632
Oh!
535
00:22:50,732 --> 00:22:53,099
Oh!
536
00:22:53,199 --> 00:22:54,066
Oh!
537
00:22:54,166 --> 00:22:57,501
Oh, if that animal.
538
00:22:57,601 --> 00:22:59,334
If you touch her, I'll kill you!
539
00:22:59,435 --> 00:23:00,474
You better be good to her.
540
00:23:00,502 --> 00:23:02,002
God, what did I do?
541
00:23:02,102 --> 00:23:04,003
What are you doing?
542
00:23:04,103 --> 00:23:06,471
Oh!
543
00:23:06,571 --> 00:23:08,872
I haven't even touched you yet.
544
00:23:08,972 --> 00:23:11,706
I'm a very, very excitable guy.
545
00:23:11,806 --> 00:23:12,806
Oh!
546
00:23:12,906 --> 00:23:14,707
It doesn't look very excited.
547
00:23:14,807 --> 00:23:17,307
You know, you're right.
548
00:23:17,407 --> 00:23:19,208
Wait one second.
549
00:23:19,308 --> 00:23:22,777
"Step four, gether nice and wet."
550
00:23:22,877 --> 00:23:27,944
Ah, get her nice and wet.
551
00:23:28,044 --> 00:23:29,179
I understand.
552
00:23:29,279 --> 00:23:33,313
You girls can't do it
unless you're nice and wet.
553
00:23:33,413 --> 00:23:36,181
Jeffy here is going to
get you nice and wet.
554
00:23:38,948 --> 00:23:42,149
God, you asshole!
555
00:23:43,184 --> 00:23:44,284
Sweetheart, I can't help.
556
00:23:44,384 --> 00:23:45,393
I just followed the directions.
557
00:23:45,417 --> 00:23:46,251
I'm coming.
558
00:23:46,351 --> 00:23:47,051
I'm coming.
559
00:23:47,151 --> 00:23:48,051
I'm coming.
560
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:51,053
Mitch?
561
00:23:51,152 --> 00:23:52,787
What the hell are you doing?
562
00:23:52,887 --> 00:23:55,854
I did everything by the book.
563
00:23:55,954 --> 00:23:57,288
Asshole!
564
00:23:58,422 --> 00:24:02,657
This will show you
how to treat a lady.
565
00:24:02,757 --> 00:24:04,191
Oh, Mitch, I went with the book.
566
00:24:04,291 --> 00:24:05,191
She's just frigid. That's all.
567
00:24:05,291 --> 00:24:05,992
She's just frigid.
568
00:24:06,092 --> 00:24:07,091
That broad is frigid.
569
00:24:12,628 --> 00:24:14,095
I'm sorry I hit you.
570
00:24:14,195 --> 00:24:15,729
I didn't know he
was going to duck.
571
00:24:15,828 --> 00:24:16,696
Who cut off the lights?
572
00:24:16,796 --> 00:24:17,496
Where am I?
573
00:24:17,596 --> 00:24:18,797
I can't see.
574
00:24:18,896 --> 00:24:20,163
Excuse me. I know what it is.
575
00:24:20,263 --> 00:24:21,607
She's frigid, Mitch.
That's what she is.
576
00:24:21,631 --> 00:24:22,531
She's frigid.
577
00:24:22,631 --> 00:24:24,999
Oh, my balls.
578
00:24:27,099 --> 00:24:27,933
You'll never believe this.
579
00:24:28,033 --> 00:24:32,801
But this is really
my first time.
580
00:24:32,901 --> 00:24:34,202
Oh, I'm sorry.
581
00:24:34,302 --> 00:24:35,902
It's ok.
582
00:24:36,002 --> 00:24:39,003
It's just that you must
have been with thousands
583
00:24:39,103 --> 00:24:40,937
and thousands of men.
584
00:24:41,037 --> 00:24:43,838
Oh, I didn't mean that.
585
00:24:43,938 --> 00:24:46,006
Oh, you know what I
meant, Lucy, I'm sorry.
586
00:24:46,106 --> 00:24:48,073
It's ok.
587
00:24:48,173 --> 00:24:49,840
You don't have to
worry because i'm
588
00:24:49,940 --> 00:24:51,141
going to teach you everything.
589
00:24:51,241 --> 00:24:53,241
Everything?
590
00:24:53,341 --> 00:24:54,341
Everything.
591
00:25:00,344 --> 00:25:02,054
Even
though it was my first time,
592
00:25:02,078 --> 00:25:04,112
my instincts took over.
593
00:25:04,212 --> 00:25:06,680
What do I do first?
594
00:25:06,780 --> 00:25:12,682
Well, first why don't you
put your hand on my breast?
595
00:25:12,782 --> 00:25:13,782
Like that.
596
00:25:13,882 --> 00:25:16,483
Oh,
don't squeeze so hard.
597
00:25:16,583 --> 00:25:17,283
I'm sorry.
598
00:25:17,383 --> 00:25:18,283
It's ok.
599
00:25:18,383 --> 00:25:19,751
Just very nicely.
600
00:25:34,223 --> 00:25:38,390
Mitch, you're so hard.
601
00:25:38,491 --> 00:25:41,225
And you're so big.
602
00:25:41,325 --> 00:25:44,026
And you're so warm.
603
00:25:44,126 --> 00:25:48,228
But if you would move down
just a little further,
604
00:25:48,328 --> 00:25:49,629
it wouldn't be my belly button.
605
00:25:49,729 --> 00:25:50,962
Oh, sorry.
606
00:25:51,062 --> 00:25:51,829
Ok, thank you.
607
00:25:51,929 --> 00:25:54,830
Um, much better.
608
00:26:06,568 --> 00:26:07,567
That's nice.
609
00:26:10,869 --> 00:26:11,736
Oh, Lucy.
610
00:26:11,836 --> 00:26:12,836
Oh.
611
00:26:15,538 --> 00:26:16,537
Ahh.
612
00:26:26,274 --> 00:26:29,175
Was that good enough for you?
613
00:26:29,275 --> 00:26:30,314
Mitch, you were wonderful.
614
00:26:38,712 --> 00:26:39,612
Lucy?
615
00:26:39,712 --> 00:26:41,713
Yeah.
616
00:26:41,813 --> 00:26:46,815
Did you... you know...
617
00:26:46,915 --> 00:26:50,482
Yeah, sometimes it takes
a little more for me to,
618
00:26:50,583 --> 00:26:51,583
you know.
619
00:26:54,351 --> 00:26:56,285
Well, what can I do?
620
00:26:56,385 --> 00:26:58,085
What can I do?
621
00:27:29,697 --> 00:27:31,297
Mitch, you're the best.
622
00:27:31,397 --> 00:27:32,731
You're the best.
623
00:27:32,831 --> 00:27:35,599
Mitch, you're the best.
624
00:27:35,699 --> 00:27:36,698
Oh, god, you're the best.
625
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:41,101
Mitch, you're the best.
626
00:27:41,201 --> 00:27:42,968
Mitch, you're the best.
627
00:27:43,068 --> 00:27:44,369
Mitch, you're the best.
628
00:27:44,468 --> 00:27:46,035
Mitch, you're the best.
629
00:27:46,135 --> 00:27:48,003
Mitch, you're the best.
630
00:27:48,103 --> 00:27:54,105
And that's the way... and
that's the way it happened.
631
00:27:56,707 --> 00:27:57,506
Wow!
632
00:27:57,607 --> 00:28:00,174
What a crock of shit.
633
00:28:00,274 --> 00:28:03,876
Like,
attention, is this thing on?
634
00:28:03,976 --> 00:28:08,611
Well, attention campers...
Like, go to the mess hall
635
00:28:08,711 --> 00:28:11,511
for a truly cool assembly.
636
00:28:11,612 --> 00:28:13,145
Ok, campers.
637
00:28:13,245 --> 00:28:17,280
It has been our tradition
here at camp big teepee.
638
00:28:17,380 --> 00:28:20,181
As I've told your parents,
on the last day of camp
639
00:28:20,281 --> 00:28:23,883
to always bring in our
nature appreciation film.
640
00:28:23,983 --> 00:28:28,150
And you'd better like...
I'm sure you'll like it.
641
00:28:28,250 --> 00:28:31,518
All right, Vinnie, come
on, come on, come on.
642
00:28:31,619 --> 00:28:32,686
Stop washing the dishes.
643
00:28:32,786 --> 00:28:34,887
Get out here and
start the damn movie.
644
00:28:34,987 --> 00:28:35,986
Oh, ok.
645
00:28:40,622 --> 00:28:41,621
Hit the lights.
646
00:28:46,657 --> 00:28:48,133
The asbestos
and toxic waste
647
00:28:48,157 --> 00:28:50,593
manufacturers of
america proudly present.
648
00:28:50,693 --> 00:28:53,794
"Nature: Your friend and mine."
649
00:28:53,894 --> 00:28:55,894
All over america
people are getting
650
00:28:55,994 --> 00:29:00,228
into the good old outdoors in
appreciating their environment.
651
00:29:00,328 --> 00:29:02,997
Let's take a trip
with the platt family.
652
00:29:03,097 --> 00:29:04,731
Mom and dad know
how important it
653
00:29:04,830 --> 00:29:07,231
is to have the appropriate
vehicle for their outing
654
00:29:07,331 --> 00:29:09,332
into the wilderness.
655
00:29:09,431 --> 00:29:12,266
Dad decided to get the
economy-sized vehicle with all
656
00:29:12,366 --> 00:29:16,101
the accessories... a vehicle that
illustrates their understanding
657
00:29:16,201 --> 00:29:17,668
of nature's delicate Harmony.
658
00:29:20,368 --> 00:29:21,746
Junior and sis have
been taught to respect
659
00:29:21,769 --> 00:29:24,870
all the little
animals in the forest.
660
00:29:24,970 --> 00:29:26,871
So remember, look, don't touch.
661
00:29:30,239 --> 00:29:33,440
Dad teaches his family that
the woods belonged to everyone
662
00:29:33,540 --> 00:29:35,642
and that there are many
people who come to the forest
663
00:29:35,741 --> 00:29:37,408
to appreciate the bird life.
664
00:29:37,508 --> 00:29:38,209
Daddy!
665
00:29:38,309 --> 00:29:39,009
Daddy!
666
00:29:39,109 --> 00:29:40,475
Look, a kirtland warbler.
667
00:29:40,576 --> 00:29:43,211
There are only about a hundred
of those left in the world.
668
00:29:43,311 --> 00:29:44,878
They are almost instinct.
669
00:29:44,977 --> 00:29:46,212
Come on, son.
670
00:29:46,312 --> 00:29:47,813
Let's blow it out of the sky.
671
00:29:56,115 --> 00:29:57,491
This film
has been brought
672
00:29:57,515 --> 00:30:00,650
to you by the asbestos and toxic
waste manufacturers of america.
673
00:30:03,451 --> 00:30:04,785
Isn't that great?
674
00:30:04,885 --> 00:30:05,985
Isn't that great?
675
00:30:06,085 --> 00:30:09,020
I told you we would have
some entertainment today.
676
00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:10,120
Let's hear it from you.
677
00:30:10,220 --> 00:30:12,655
I'm sure you got a
great story to tell.
678
00:30:12,755 --> 00:30:14,155
It's none of your business.
679
00:30:14,255 --> 00:30:16,689
Danny Anderson, you promised.
680
00:30:16,789 --> 00:30:21,024
Well... let Henry go first.
681
00:30:21,124 --> 00:30:22,524
Yeah, come on, Henry.
682
00:30:22,625 --> 00:30:24,258
Oh, well, sure.
683
00:30:24,358 --> 00:30:27,192
I mean, with me, it
was never any problem.
684
00:30:27,292 --> 00:30:30,961
If I wanted a date, all I
ever had to do was reach over,
685
00:30:31,061 --> 00:30:34,229
pick up the phone,
and no problem.
686
00:30:37,463 --> 00:30:38,230
Hi there.
687
00:30:38,330 --> 00:30:39,697
I'm here to tell
you about lovers
688
00:30:39,797 --> 00:30:41,732
for losers new checkmate
dating service...
689
00:30:41,832 --> 00:30:43,874
Northern New Jersey's first
scientifically-controlled
690
00:30:43,898 --> 00:30:44,799
dating service.
691
00:30:44,899 --> 00:30:46,566
Sounds too good to be true?
692
00:30:46,667 --> 00:30:49,200
Just take a look at a few
of our satisfied customers
693
00:30:49,300 --> 00:30:51,768
and note how they're
all perfectly matched.
694
00:30:51,868 --> 00:30:54,336
I love my perfectly-matched
checkmate date.
695
00:30:54,436 --> 00:30:55,670
And she's herpes free.
696
00:31:00,038 --> 00:31:03,339
I love my perfectly-matched
checkmate date.
697
00:31:03,439 --> 00:31:06,440
And she's herpes-free.
698
00:31:06,540 --> 00:31:10,007
I love my perfectly-matched
checkmate date.
699
00:31:10,107 --> 00:31:12,242
And he's herpes-free too.
700
00:31:12,342 --> 00:31:14,209
So call now for a
herpes-free date that's
701
00:31:14,309 --> 00:31:15,844
also perfectly matched to you.
702
00:31:15,944 --> 00:31:17,353
Yes, if you're at home
right now watching
703
00:31:17,377 --> 00:31:18,486
this television
commercial, you're
704
00:31:18,510 --> 00:31:20,178
probably alone without a date.
705
00:31:20,278 --> 00:31:22,378
So get that hand out from
underneath that blanket
706
00:31:22,478 --> 00:31:26,513
and dial 888-6969,
yes, 888-6969 where
707
00:31:26,614 --> 00:31:30,314
our operators are standing by
to answer your call personally.
708
00:31:30,414 --> 00:31:32,773
Void in Oklahoma, Wisconsin,
and wherever prohibited by law.
709
00:31:35,516 --> 00:31:39,551
Now those, of course, were just
some of my more casual dates.
710
00:31:39,652 --> 00:31:43,119
But the first time it never
really happened for me
711
00:31:43,219 --> 00:31:45,987
was on Halloween night.
712
00:31:46,087 --> 00:31:50,689
This year, I decided to be
different and go as a ghost.
713
00:31:50,789 --> 00:31:51,656
Boo!
714
00:31:51,756 --> 00:31:52,456
Oh!
715
00:31:52,556 --> 00:31:54,357
Oh!
716
00:31:54,457 --> 00:31:55,557
Oh, wow!
717
00:31:55,658 --> 00:31:58,925
Mom makes the best Halloween
costumes of anybody.
718
00:31:59,025 --> 00:32:01,693
Hey, if I'm going to be
eating all that candy tonight,
719
00:32:01,793 --> 00:32:05,061
I better get something
solid in my stomach.
720
00:32:05,161 --> 00:32:06,160
Yeah, I need a pizza.
721
00:32:07,895 --> 00:32:10,595
There one slight
problem with my costume though.
722
00:32:10,696 --> 00:32:13,164
Mom forgot to cut a
hole for my mouth.
723
00:32:13,264 --> 00:32:17,298
When I tried to take off my
hood, the zipper got stuck.
724
00:32:17,398 --> 00:32:21,032
No matter how hard I struggled,
I couldn't get the hood off.
725
00:32:21,132 --> 00:32:22,400
I didn't panic.
726
00:32:22,500 --> 00:32:24,701
I just got a pizza to go.
727
00:32:24,801 --> 00:32:26,168
But my hood got turned around.
728
00:32:26,268 --> 00:32:28,335
And I could hardly
see where I was going.
729
00:32:32,070 --> 00:32:32,904
That's my man, bitch.
730
00:32:33,004 --> 00:32:34,013
I usually walked
731
00:32:34,037 --> 00:32:35,504
across the school parking lot.
732
00:32:35,604 --> 00:32:40,139
But there was a bunch of
real naughty kids there.
733
00:32:40,239 --> 00:32:44,075
So I decided to avoid the
mand cut across the field.
734
00:32:44,175 --> 00:32:47,508
It's lucky I did because
these kids were real bad.
735
00:32:47,608 --> 00:32:49,209
Give me some money, blondie.
736
00:32:49,309 --> 00:32:51,644
I knew they'd
start trouble.
737
00:32:51,744 --> 00:32:53,244
I don't know what
you want from me.
738
00:32:53,344 --> 00:32:54,078
Money.
739
00:32:54,178 --> 00:32:54,879
Wait a minute.
740
00:32:54,979 --> 00:32:57,746
What's going on here?
741
00:32:57,846 --> 00:32:58,545
Hey!
742
00:32:58,646 --> 00:32:59,713
Get that bitch.
743
00:32:59,813 --> 00:33:00,813
Get that bitch, man.
744
00:33:04,248 --> 00:33:05,247
Ha!
745
00:33:08,483 --> 00:33:09,884
Ha!
746
00:33:09,984 --> 00:33:12,384
Ron, is that your
purse she's carrying.
747
00:33:12,484 --> 00:33:14,485
Yeah, that is my pink purse.
748
00:33:14,585 --> 00:33:17,486
Hey, man, you can't let
her take your purse, man.
749
00:33:17,586 --> 00:33:18,687
It got your lipstick in it.
750
00:33:18,787 --> 00:33:20,220
She must have stole it from me.
751
00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:21,396
Oh, please don't hurt me.
Please.
752
00:33:21,420 --> 00:33:22,288
Come on.
753
00:33:22,388 --> 00:33:24,621
Let's kill the
bitch, man, come on.
754
00:33:24,722 --> 00:33:25,555
Arrgh!
755
00:33:25,656 --> 00:33:27,823
Eeeyah!
756
00:33:27,923 --> 00:33:28,923
Oh!
757
00:33:31,624 --> 00:33:33,192
Ahhh!
758
00:33:33,292 --> 00:33:34,291
Eehyah!
759
00:33:36,993 --> 00:33:38,526
Where is it?
760
00:33:38,626 --> 00:33:39,626
Oh!
761
00:33:43,996 --> 00:33:45,529
Eeyah!
I'm done with the nice guy now.
762
00:33:45,629 --> 00:33:46,329
That's right.
763
00:33:46,429 --> 00:33:47,763
Hit her.
764
00:33:47,863 --> 00:33:51,064
Who turned out the lights?
765
00:33:51,164 --> 00:33:54,666
Hey, man, check
this shit out, man.
766
00:33:54,766 --> 00:33:58,034
It must be a ku klux klan
meeting somewhere, man.
767
00:33:58,134 --> 00:34:01,002
Hey, let's give them a real
Batman's welcome to the kkk.
768
00:34:01,102 --> 00:34:01,902
Hey, what's going on here?
769
00:34:02,002 --> 00:34:03,869
You in the wrong place, fool.
770
00:34:03,969 --> 00:34:04,869
You're going to die, man.
771
00:34:04,969 --> 00:34:05,870
Hey, what's going on here?
772
00:34:05,970 --> 00:34:06,837
Whoa!
773
00:34:06,937 --> 00:34:09,304
Eeyah!
774
00:34:09,404 --> 00:34:10,271
Hey, ouch!
775
00:34:10,371 --> 00:34:11,370
Ah!
776
00:34:13,839 --> 00:34:15,707
All right, man.
777
00:34:15,807 --> 00:34:17,708
That's what you get, yeah.
778
00:34:17,808 --> 00:34:18,807
Yeah, man.
779
00:34:18,874 --> 00:34:21,242
Let's go, man.
780
00:34:21,342 --> 00:34:23,309
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!
781
00:34:23,409 --> 00:34:24,409
Oh.
782
00:34:27,377 --> 00:34:28,978
Oh, my goodness.
783
00:34:29,078 --> 00:34:30,278
Don't hit me. Don't hit me.
784
00:34:30,378 --> 00:34:31,145
No, no, that's all right.
785
00:34:31,245 --> 00:34:32,346
They're gone.
786
00:34:32,445 --> 00:34:35,180
Oh.
787
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:38,981
Oh, you poor thing.
788
00:34:39,081 --> 00:34:40,248
Are you ok?
789
00:34:40,348 --> 00:34:41,525
No, you came along just in time.
790
00:34:41,549 --> 00:34:42,316
Those guys had knives.
791
00:34:42,416 --> 00:34:43,416
Knives?
792
00:34:43,516 --> 00:34:44,759
It was smart of you
to put on that costume
793
00:34:44,783 --> 00:34:45,517
to scare them away, yeah.
794
00:34:45,617 --> 00:34:46,616
My costume?
795
00:34:46,650 --> 00:34:50,219
Oh, this was just a coinc...
Oh, yeah,
796
00:34:50,319 --> 00:34:53,320
I mean, I guess I was
pretty convincing, huh?
797
00:34:53,420 --> 00:34:56,521
Well, I guess I got to go.
798
00:34:56,621 --> 00:34:57,354
Wait a minute.
799
00:34:57,454 --> 00:34:58,322
I don't even know who you are.
800
00:34:58,422 --> 00:34:59,555
I don't even know your name.
801
00:34:59,655 --> 00:35:00,355
It doesn't matter.
802
00:35:00,455 --> 00:35:01,156
Yes, it does.
803
00:35:01,256 --> 00:35:03,356
You just saved my life.
804
00:35:03,456 --> 00:35:04,957
My name is Henry putz... goodbye.
805
00:35:05,057 --> 00:35:08,892
Henry, I don't know if I
should be asking you this.
806
00:35:08,992 --> 00:35:10,960
But do you think you
could walk me home.
807
00:35:11,059 --> 00:35:13,227
I'm still kind of shaken up.
808
00:35:13,327 --> 00:35:14,326
Sure.
809
00:35:18,329 --> 00:35:20,562
Well, there goes my dinner.
810
00:35:20,662 --> 00:35:21,663
That's ok.
811
00:35:21,764 --> 00:35:23,596
I'll get you something
to eat at my house.
812
00:35:23,697 --> 00:35:25,674
Little
did I know that I just saved
813
00:35:25,698 --> 00:35:28,699
the life of Barbara
billington, the richest,
814
00:35:28,799 --> 00:35:30,967
most beautiful,
most sophisticated
815
00:35:31,067 --> 00:35:33,901
teenage nymphomaniac in town.
816
00:35:34,001 --> 00:35:35,335
Wow!
817
00:35:35,435 --> 00:35:36,702
Nice house.
818
00:35:36,802 --> 00:35:39,069
Oh, thanks.
819
00:35:39,169 --> 00:35:41,537
Personally I think
it's a bit too big.
820
00:35:41,637 --> 00:35:44,839
But you see, when daddy died, he
left mom and me a lot of money.
821
00:35:44,939 --> 00:35:47,339
So we moved from akron
and bought this place.
822
00:35:47,439 --> 00:35:48,806
Yeah?
823
00:35:48,906 --> 00:35:50,540
My uncle
comes from akron.
824
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:54,842
So, Henry, let me take
a look at wound for you.
825
00:35:54,942 --> 00:35:56,042
Oh, no, it's ok.
826
00:35:56,142 --> 00:35:58,810
Oh, Henry, it's a good
thing I'm looking at this.
827
00:35:58,909 --> 00:36:01,344
If you had gotten some of
that cheese into the cut,
828
00:36:01,444 --> 00:36:04,879
you could have gotten
mozzarella poisoning.
829
00:36:04,979 --> 00:36:07,546
Mozzarella poisoning?
830
00:36:07,646 --> 00:36:09,213
So, Henry, take off the costume.
831
00:36:09,313 --> 00:36:10,613
Let me look at it for you.
832
00:36:10,714 --> 00:36:12,148
Oh, no, it'll be ok.
833
00:36:12,248 --> 00:36:13,390
Henry, just let me take a look.
834
00:36:13,414 --> 00:36:14,115
No, no, no.
835
00:36:14,215 --> 00:36:15,214
It'll be ok.
836
00:36:15,249 --> 00:36:16,415
What's the matter with you?
837
00:36:16,515 --> 00:36:19,450
Well, it's just that i'm
kind of uptight about by body.
838
00:36:19,550 --> 00:36:21,293
I mean, my tits are bigger
than any girls I ever met.
839
00:36:21,317 --> 00:36:22,728
Oh, Henry, don't
say things like that.
840
00:36:22,752 --> 00:36:24,352
Why are you being so nice to me?
841
00:36:24,452 --> 00:36:26,153
Most girls usually
won't even talk to me.
842
00:36:26,253 --> 00:36:27,295
And when they do, it's
just to put me down.
843
00:36:27,319 --> 00:36:28,362
I think you're
a nice guy, Henry.
844
00:36:28,386 --> 00:36:29,626
There's nothing wrong with you.
845
00:36:29,654 --> 00:36:31,031
Most girls usually won't
even give me the time of day.
846
00:36:31,055 --> 00:36:32,331
And when they do,
that's always wrong.
847
00:36:32,355 --> 00:36:33,388
Oh, Henry.
848
00:36:33,488 --> 00:36:35,265
I mean, after all, it
is my own fault, I mean,
849
00:36:35,289 --> 00:36:36,398
because I am this big, fat oaf.
850
00:36:36,422 --> 00:36:38,690
Stop it, Henry.
851
00:36:38,791 --> 00:36:40,324
I mean, all the guys
that I go out with
852
00:36:40,424 --> 00:36:43,525
are just self-centere
degotistical maniacs.
853
00:36:43,625 --> 00:36:46,293
They just want to score so
they can brag to their friends.
854
00:36:46,393 --> 00:36:49,194
You're very different.
855
00:36:49,294 --> 00:36:49,994
Yeah?
856
00:36:50,094 --> 00:36:51,094
Hmm.
857
00:36:53,963 --> 00:36:56,930
Are those dunkin' donuts?
858
00:36:57,030 --> 00:37:00,398
I thought they might
be your favorite.
859
00:37:00,498 --> 00:37:02,175
One
donut led to another.
860
00:37:02,199 --> 00:37:04,266
We just couldn't stop ourselves.
861
00:37:04,366 --> 00:37:08,068
And I guess weboth lost control.
862
00:37:08,168 --> 00:37:10,034
Oh, Henry.
863
00:37:10,134 --> 00:37:11,534
Oh, Henry, you are so good.
864
00:37:11,634 --> 00:37:15,336
You must be so experienced.
865
00:37:15,436 --> 00:37:17,371
Oh, Henry, am I
good enough for you?
866
00:37:17,471 --> 00:37:18,470
Oh!
867
00:37:21,638 --> 00:37:23,006
Oh!
868
00:37:23,106 --> 00:37:24,974
Oh!
869
00:37:25,074 --> 00:37:29,876
Oh, Henry.
870
00:37:29,976 --> 00:37:31,576
Really, Henry, tell me.
871
00:37:31,675 --> 00:37:33,043
Am I good enough?
872
00:37:33,143 --> 00:37:34,243
Oh!
873
00:37:34,343 --> 00:37:38,111
I don't think it could
get any better than this.
874
00:37:38,211 --> 00:37:39,211
Want to bet?
875
00:37:48,082 --> 00:37:49,081
Oh.
876
00:37:51,416 --> 00:37:53,217
Oh.
877
00:37:53,316 --> 00:37:54,316
Oh!
878
00:38:04,353 --> 00:38:05,388
Oh, ahh.
879
00:38:12,156 --> 00:38:13,024
Ahh!
880
00:38:13,957 --> 00:38:15,357
Oh, I don't care what you do.
881
00:38:15,457 --> 00:38:16,358
Just get that thing off of me.
882
00:38:16,457 --> 00:38:18,258
I've got enough hair down there.
883
00:38:18,358 --> 00:38:19,735
I don't need that
hairy thing there.
884
00:38:19,759 --> 00:38:21,126
Now get it off of me now!
885
00:38:21,226 --> 00:38:24,061
Now, she won't hurt you
if you don't hurt her.
886
00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:25,895
She's only trying to
protect her young.
887
00:38:25,995 --> 00:38:27,029
What about my young?
888
00:38:27,129 --> 00:38:28,838
Now, calm down, Henry,
don't excite yourself.
889
00:38:28,862 --> 00:38:29,562
I'll handle this.
890
00:38:29,662 --> 00:38:32,163
Yaaaah!
891
00:38:33,497 --> 00:38:35,331
Yaaah!
892
00:38:35,431 --> 00:38:37,232
Oh!
893
00:38:37,332 --> 00:38:38,199
Oh!
894
00:38:38,299 --> 00:38:39,632
Ah!
895
00:38:39,732 --> 00:38:40,772
Wow, nice forehand.
896
00:38:44,467 --> 00:38:46,836
Now campers, I hate to have
to punish you in this way.
897
00:38:46,936 --> 00:38:50,170
But no matter what I do, I can't
get you do arts and crafts.
898
00:38:50,270 --> 00:38:53,570
So I brought something that I
think will keep you interested.
899
00:38:53,670 --> 00:38:56,139
Now, this is going to
be a sculpture class.
900
00:38:56,239 --> 00:38:57,715
You each have your
own individual wads
901
00:38:57,739 --> 00:38:59,240
of Clay in front of you.
902
00:38:59,340 --> 00:39:00,817
And I would like you
all to get to work.
903
00:39:00,841 --> 00:39:02,974
Now, get to work.
904
00:39:03,074 --> 00:39:06,042
What are we supposed
to make a sculpture of?
905
00:39:06,142 --> 00:39:07,475
Yeah.
906
00:39:07,575 --> 00:39:08,944
Calm down.
907
00:39:09,043 --> 00:39:10,682
I'd like you all make
a sculpture of this.
908
00:39:13,611 --> 00:39:14,611
Doh!
909
00:39:27,783 --> 00:39:28,851
Get out of my way.
910
00:39:28,951 --> 00:39:29,984
Get out of my way.
911
00:39:30,084 --> 00:39:30,918
No, cuts.
912
00:39:31,018 --> 00:39:32,584
I've been waiting
since yesterday.
913
00:39:32,684 --> 00:39:34,261
I gave up baseball for
this, for Christ's sake.
914
00:39:34,285 --> 00:39:35,020
It's my turn, broads.
915
00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:35,820
Get out of the way.
916
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:38,021
It's my turn.
917
00:39:38,121 --> 00:39:39,663
I'm sure Mr. Zitzler
has the state police
918
00:39:39,687 --> 00:39:41,788
out looking for us by now.
919
00:39:47,190 --> 00:39:47,890
Mr. Zitzler.
920
00:39:47,990 --> 00:39:49,891
What do you want?
921
00:39:49,991 --> 00:39:51,625
Can't just see I'm busy, stinky.
922
00:39:51,725 --> 00:39:53,324
Well, here are the
magazines you ordered.
923
00:39:56,227 --> 00:39:57,928
Thanks Mr. Zitzler.
924
00:39:58,028 --> 00:40:00,361
Oh, the kids that got
lost in the nature walk.
925
00:40:00,461 --> 00:40:02,362
They still can't find them.
926
00:40:02,462 --> 00:40:05,196
So keep looking.
927
00:40:05,296 --> 00:40:07,997
Full house.
928
00:40:08,097 --> 00:40:10,265
Mr. Zitzler, my frog is sick.
929
00:40:10,365 --> 00:40:11,966
You get away from
here, you creep.
930
00:40:12,066 --> 00:40:15,034
Mr. Zitzler is not
eating his cocoa crispies.
931
00:40:15,134 --> 00:40:17,234
Get!
932
00:40:17,334 --> 00:40:18,733
You see what I havet
to put up with?
933
00:40:26,570 --> 00:40:30,840
Well, we're not too low on food.
934
00:40:30,939 --> 00:40:33,907
But we just ran out of water.
935
00:40:34,006 --> 00:40:37,307
I'm sure the whole camp must
be looking for us by now.
936
00:40:37,407 --> 00:40:39,809
Listen up... listen
up big teepeers,
937
00:40:39,909 --> 00:40:41,708
we've got a little problem.
938
00:40:41,809 --> 00:40:45,477
Four campers and Michelle
farmer, your nature counselor,
939
00:40:45,577 --> 00:40:46,945
are lost.
940
00:40:47,045 --> 00:40:51,446
Now, you all know that
here at camp big teepee,
941
00:40:51,546 --> 00:40:55,814
we all like to consider
ourselves a big, happy family
942
00:40:55,914 --> 00:40:57,414
that sticks together.
943
00:40:57,514 --> 00:40:58,682
Ah, phooey.
944
00:40:58,781 --> 00:41:02,350
And now we've all got to
get together to help find
945
00:41:02,450 --> 00:41:04,051
Michelle shell and her campers.
946
00:41:04,151 --> 00:41:06,818
Because if we don't
find them, the camp
947
00:41:06,918 --> 00:41:08,518
will shut down next year.
948
00:41:14,955 --> 00:41:16,088
Did anybody hear anything?
949
00:41:16,188 --> 00:41:16,889
No.
950
00:41:16,989 --> 00:41:18,289
No.
951
00:41:18,389 --> 00:41:20,057
I thought I heard something.
952
00:41:20,157 --> 00:41:21,557
We should be saved soon.
953
00:41:21,657 --> 00:41:24,124
My mom's coming to
pick me up today.
954
00:41:24,224 --> 00:41:27,425
She's going to go nuts
if she can't find me.
955
00:41:27,525 --> 00:41:29,560
Why, Mrs. Anderson, I
was just looking for you.
956
00:41:29,659 --> 00:41:31,560
You know very well, I
phoned you this morning
957
00:41:31,660 --> 00:41:34,527
and told you I'd be there
promptly this afternoon
958
00:41:34,627 --> 00:41:36,162
to pick up my Danny.
959
00:41:36,262 --> 00:41:37,996
Now, where is he?
960
00:41:38,096 --> 00:41:39,796
What's going on around here?
961
00:41:39,897 --> 00:41:41,097
Here?
962
00:41:41,197 --> 00:41:42,540
Well, here is the basketball
court where we teach them
963
00:41:42,564 --> 00:41:43,573
the rudiments of basketball.
964
00:41:43,597 --> 00:41:45,665
Basketball, my Danny
loves basketball.
965
00:41:45,765 --> 00:41:46,999
Is he playing?
966
00:41:47,099 --> 00:41:49,067
Well, playing is only
a figurative term, mam,
967
00:41:49,167 --> 00:41:50,500
you see it parallels the life...
968
00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:52,568
Can't you take me
to see my Danny?
969
00:41:52,668 --> 00:41:53,501
Can you?
970
00:41:53,601 --> 00:41:54,468
Can you?
971
00:41:54,568 --> 00:41:55,569
Can you?
972
00:41:55,669 --> 00:41:56,668
Canoe.
973
00:41:56,735 --> 00:41:58,146
Yes, we have a marvelous
canoeing program.
974
00:41:58,170 --> 00:42:00,536
And I'd love to show
you this, Mrs. Anderson.
975
00:42:00,636 --> 00:42:03,804
Anne, you can be
so quiet lately.
976
00:42:03,905 --> 00:42:06,239
It's getting cold in here.
977
00:42:06,339 --> 00:42:08,406
Try not to think about the cold.
978
00:42:08,506 --> 00:42:11,674
Think about something else.
979
00:42:11,774 --> 00:42:14,741
Think about the first time
you got laid because I
980
00:42:14,842 --> 00:42:17,576
want to hear all about it.
981
00:42:17,676 --> 00:42:19,677
Yeah, me too.
982
00:42:19,777 --> 00:42:21,744
Well, I'm sure my
stories isn't half
983
00:42:21,845 --> 00:42:24,445
as exciting as any of yours.
984
00:42:24,545 --> 00:42:26,380
I'm just a little farm girl.
985
00:42:26,480 --> 00:42:29,514
And didn't know any
little boys farm boys my age.
986
00:42:29,614 --> 00:42:33,515
The work was so hard and the
hired hands were so lazy,
987
00:42:33,615 --> 00:42:36,583
I had to make out
the best I could.
988
00:42:36,683 --> 00:42:38,784
I don't know what
it was, whether it
989
00:42:38,885 --> 00:42:42,651
was the heat, the sweat, the
frustration of the farm work
990
00:42:42,751 --> 00:42:44,319
or what.
991
00:42:44,419 --> 00:42:47,387
But something changed
for me that day.
992
00:42:47,487 --> 00:42:50,321
And it first hit me later
that night when my girlfriends
993
00:42:50,421 --> 00:42:53,355
came over for a slumber party.
994
00:42:53,455 --> 00:42:56,124
Annie, I'm going to go on my
very first date Saturday night.
995
00:42:56,223 --> 00:42:57,957
What should I do?
996
00:42:58,057 --> 00:42:59,925
Ok, this is what you do.
997
00:43:00,025 --> 00:43:03,193
Now, put your hand on
his leg about up to here.
998
00:43:03,293 --> 00:43:05,493
You don't want him to
think you're too easy.
999
00:43:05,593 --> 00:43:09,361
Now, he's going to
pretend to yawn like this.
1000
00:43:09,461 --> 00:43:11,761
He's going to go to second base.
1001
00:43:11,862 --> 00:43:13,030
Don't worry.
1002
00:43:13,129 --> 00:43:16,530
He's just going to feel you up.
1003
00:43:16,630 --> 00:43:18,999
Well, but what if
he tries to kiss me?
1004
00:43:19,099 --> 00:43:21,465
There are two kinds of kisses.
1005
00:43:21,565 --> 00:43:23,266
The dry kiss and the wet kiss.
1006
00:43:23,366 --> 00:43:25,167
This is dry kiss.
1007
00:43:25,267 --> 00:43:27,134
Ooh.
1008
00:43:27,234 --> 00:43:28,368
Now, this is the wet kiss.
1009
00:43:28,468 --> 00:43:29,835
Stick out your tongue like me.
1010
00:43:33,269 --> 00:43:36,005
Mmm.
1011
00:43:36,105 --> 00:43:37,171
Did anybody hear anything?
1012
00:43:37,271 --> 00:43:38,138
-No -uh-uh.
1013
00:43:38,238 --> 00:43:39,238
No?
1014
00:43:42,173 --> 00:43:43,383
Maybe one of the
animals got loose.
1015
00:43:43,407 --> 00:43:44,107
I'm going to go check.
1016
00:43:44,207 --> 00:43:45,247
Great, get us some donuts.
1017
00:43:45,274 --> 00:43:45,974
Apple spice.
1018
00:43:46,074 --> 00:43:47,074
Apple spice.
1019
00:43:49,042 --> 00:43:50,361
Little did know
1020
00:43:50,409 --> 00:43:54,411
that a starving, out-of-work
actor had broken into my house.
1021
00:43:57,712 --> 00:43:59,479
That Annie, she
doesn't know anything.
1022
00:43:59,578 --> 00:44:00,947
Now, you see this.
1023
00:44:01,046 --> 00:44:02,114
Let me show you something.
1024
00:44:16,618 --> 00:44:18,519
Ah, don't make a sound.
1025
00:44:18,619 --> 00:44:20,853
Are you listening to me, huh?
1026
00:44:20,954 --> 00:44:21,953
Now, do as I say.
1027
00:44:22,021 --> 00:44:23,430
Or I'll slit your
throat and let the blood
1028
00:44:23,454 --> 00:44:25,422
drip all over your nice nighty.
1029
00:44:25,522 --> 00:44:28,889
Now, when I take my hand
off your mouth, ha, ha,
1030
00:44:28,989 --> 00:44:30,924
I don't want you to scream.
1031
00:44:31,024 --> 00:44:34,591
I don't want you
to make a sound.
1032
00:44:34,691 --> 00:44:38,626
Then what I want you
to do... I want you
1033
00:44:38,726 --> 00:44:44,761
to get some milk and cookies.
1034
00:44:44,861 --> 00:44:49,130
Then I can take my hand
off and don't make a sound.
1035
00:44:49,230 --> 00:44:50,331
- Yah!
- Ow!
1036
00:44:50,431 --> 00:44:51,430
Oh!
1037
00:44:55,598 --> 00:44:59,267
Ok, butter or
buster, who are you?
1038
00:44:59,367 --> 00:45:00,767
Johnny... Johnny Robbins.
1039
00:45:00,867 --> 00:45:02,001
What are you doing here?
1040
00:45:02,101 --> 00:45:03,211
I just wanted something to eat.
1041
00:45:03,235 --> 00:45:05,069
I've been running all night.
1042
00:45:05,169 --> 00:45:06,802
You are scared.
1043
00:45:06,903 --> 00:45:08,213
Can I have something
to eat, please?
1044
00:45:11,972 --> 00:45:14,739
I had no choice but
to get him something to eat.
1045
00:45:14,839 --> 00:45:17,506
And I knew it had
to taste real good.
1046
00:45:24,976 --> 00:45:27,809
After I was nice enough
to meet his demands,
1047
00:45:27,910 --> 00:45:29,744
he dragged me into our stable.
1048
00:45:34,012 --> 00:45:36,013
First, he tried to seduce me.
1049
00:45:41,115 --> 00:45:43,182
Then he grabbed and kissed me.
1050
00:45:43,282 --> 00:45:47,517
He began tearing off my
clothes.
1051
00:45:47,617 --> 00:45:51,785
He couldn't keep his rough
and calloused hands off me.
1052
00:45:56,087 --> 00:45:59,588
Now that he had his cookies,
he decided he wanted the milk.
1053
00:46:10,525 --> 00:46:18,328
Oh!
1054
00:46:18,428 --> 00:46:20,295
Ah!
1055
00:46:20,395 --> 00:46:22,763
You're in me.
1056
00:46:22,863 --> 00:46:23,763
Ah!
1057
00:46:23,863 --> 00:46:28,231
Oh, yes.
1058
00:46:28,331 --> 00:46:30,632
Oh.
1059
00:46:30,732 --> 00:46:31,632
Ah!
1060
00:46:31,732 --> 00:46:32,632
Ah!
1061
00:46:32,732 --> 00:46:33,633
Oh!
1062
00:46:33,733 --> 00:46:35,234
- Ah!
- Oh!
1063
00:46:35,334 --> 00:46:36,101
Ah!
1064
00:46:36,201 --> 00:46:37,102
Oh!
1065
00:46:37,201 --> 00:46:38,102
Ah!
1066
00:46:38,202 --> 00:46:39,702
Oh!
1067
00:46:39,802 --> 00:46:40,602
Ah!
1068
00:46:40,702 --> 00:46:43,271
Oh, oh!
1069
00:46:43,370 --> 00:46:44,071
Ah!
1070
00:46:44,171 --> 00:46:45,504
Oh!
1071
00:46:45,604 --> 00:46:46,504
Oh!
1072
00:46:46,604 --> 00:46:47,505
Yes!
1073
00:46:47,605 --> 00:46:49,106
- Oh!
- Oh!
1074
00:46:49,206 --> 00:46:50,205
- Oh!
- Ah!
1075
00:46:50,273 --> 00:46:51,139
- Oh!
- Oh!
1076
00:46:51,239 --> 00:46:52,140
- Ah!
- Oh!
1077
00:46:52,240 --> 00:46:53,440
- Ah!
- Oh!
1078
00:46:53,540 --> 00:46:54,407
Ah!
1079
00:46:54,507 --> 00:46:57,241
Yes!
1080
00:46:57,341 --> 00:46:58,176
Oh!
1081
00:46:58,276 --> 00:47:00,542
Yes!
1082
00:47:00,642 --> 00:47:01,743
Ah!
1083
00:47:01,842 --> 00:47:04,644
Johnny?
1084
00:47:04,744 --> 00:47:07,045
Johnny, I'm not finished yet.
1085
00:47:07,145 --> 00:47:08,946
I want more.
1086
00:47:09,046 --> 00:47:11,746
More.
1087
00:47:11,846 --> 00:47:12,746
More.
1088
00:47:12,846 --> 00:47:13,647
More.
1089
00:47:13,747 --> 00:47:15,482
He was a madman.
1090
00:47:15,582 --> 00:47:16,648
He was crazy.
1091
00:47:16,748 --> 00:47:17,748
He made me do it.
1092
00:47:17,848 --> 00:47:19,283
I had no other choice.
1093
00:47:19,383 --> 00:47:20,616
You poor baby.
1094
00:47:20,716 --> 00:47:24,685
Aw, come on, Annie, you can't
expect us to believe that.
1095
00:47:24,785 --> 00:47:25,952
Oh, yeah?
1096
00:47:26,052 --> 00:47:27,286
He left this behind.
1097
00:47:29,919 --> 00:47:31,054
Oh, you poor thing.
1098
00:47:31,154 --> 00:47:33,154
Oh, my god, I didn't realize.
1099
00:47:33,254 --> 00:47:35,589
What a horrifying experience.
1100
00:47:35,689 --> 00:47:36,389
That's terrible.
1101
00:47:36,489 --> 00:47:39,090
Come here.
1102
00:47:39,190 --> 00:47:41,891
That's really terrible.
1103
00:47:41,992 --> 00:47:45,225
I'm really glad to see
that you've got over that.
1104
00:47:45,325 --> 00:47:48,393
I've never heard
anything quite that bad.
1105
00:47:48,493 --> 00:47:50,494
How did you get over it?
1106
00:47:50,594 --> 00:47:51,593
Hey, my knife.
1107
00:47:55,596 --> 00:47:56,595
Ooh!
1108
00:47:56,662 --> 00:47:59,130
That Mary Lou was
amazing bozo, that bod.
1109
00:47:59,230 --> 00:48:00,563
Ooh, I want her so bad.
1110
00:48:00,663 --> 00:48:02,164
She's not interested
in nobody, man.
1111
00:48:02,264 --> 00:48:03,264
What am I going to do?
1112
00:48:03,332 --> 00:48:03,898
I have been thinking
about this all day.
1113
00:48:03,999 --> 00:48:05,299
I got a great idea.
1114
00:48:05,399 --> 00:48:07,542
Ok, I read somewhere if you want
a girl to go crazy about you.
1115
00:48:07,566 --> 00:48:08,267
Yeah?
1116
00:48:08,366 --> 00:48:09,234
You do it in her food.
1117
00:48:09,334 --> 00:48:10,034
Yeah?
1118
00:48:10,134 --> 00:48:10,901
And she eats it.
1119
00:48:11,002 --> 00:48:11,701
Yeah?
1120
00:48:11,801 --> 00:48:13,535
She'll be all over you, man.
1121
00:48:13,635 --> 00:48:15,603
We're talking instant nature.
1122
00:48:15,703 --> 00:48:17,480
I'm telling you just make
sure you get it in her food.
1123
00:48:17,504 --> 00:48:18,981
- All right.
- Make sure she eats it, man.
1124
00:48:19,005 --> 00:48:19,870
She'll be all over it.
1125
00:48:19,971 --> 00:48:21,214
- All right, Melvin?
- All right, man.
1126
00:48:21,238 --> 00:48:22,039
Can you handle it, Melvin?
1127
00:48:22,139 --> 00:48:23,771
I know I can handle it, man.
1128
00:48:23,871 --> 00:48:25,973
Hey, there's Mary Lou.
1129
00:48:26,073 --> 00:48:27,473
And she's wearing that bikini.
1130
00:48:27,573 --> 00:48:30,574
Oh, those nipples.
1131
00:48:30,674 --> 00:48:32,318
She's going to eat it
just like I told you.
1132
00:48:32,342 --> 00:48:33,341
Just like I told you.
1133
00:48:33,375 --> 00:48:34,814
Any minute she'll
be heading our way.
1134
00:48:37,676 --> 00:48:40,178
Yep, Mary Lou is
thinking about eating it.
1135
00:48:40,278 --> 00:48:41,112
What the?
1136
00:48:41,212 --> 00:48:42,046
I don't know.
1137
00:48:42,146 --> 00:48:42,979
Hey?
1138
00:48:43,079 --> 00:48:45,280
What's that fat slob doing.
1139
00:48:45,379 --> 00:48:46,913
She's eating it.
1140
00:48:47,014 --> 00:48:51,482
Butch is eating it.
Oh, no.
1141
00:48:51,581 --> 00:48:52,282
Oh, no.
1142
00:48:52,382 --> 00:48:53,382
Can't be.
1143
00:48:53,482 --> 00:48:57,084
Oh, no, 300 pounds.
1144
00:48:57,184 --> 00:48:58,918
I love you.
1145
00:48:59,019 --> 00:49:00,452
I want your body.
1146
00:49:00,552 --> 00:49:03,186
Do you have something to
tell us there, howdy doody?
1147
00:49:03,286 --> 00:49:05,453
Well, I guess so if
you're still interested.
1148
00:49:05,553 --> 00:49:07,587
Sure, we can going
to use a good nap.
1149
00:49:07,687 --> 00:49:10,622
Nap on this, stub.
1150
00:49:10,722 --> 00:49:13,856
Well, my story begins
when I was much younger.
1151
00:49:13,956 --> 00:49:17,091
I had a very clear picture
of the girl of my dreams.
1152
00:49:17,191 --> 00:49:18,901
Unfortunately,
she was only in the pages
1153
00:49:18,925 --> 00:49:20,192
of "penthouse magazine."
1154
00:49:20,292 --> 00:49:21,192
Oh!
1155
00:49:21,292 --> 00:49:22,160
Oh!
1156
00:49:22,260 --> 00:49:23,160
Oh!
1157
00:49:23,260 --> 00:49:24,160
Oh!
1158
00:49:24,260 --> 00:49:25,627
Oh!
1159
00:49:25,727 --> 00:49:28,095
Oh!
1160
00:49:28,195 --> 00:49:29,262
Oh!
1161
00:49:29,362 --> 00:49:30,361
Oh!
1162
00:49:33,131 --> 00:49:38,465
I guess my Danny must
be reading in bed again.
1163
00:49:38,565 --> 00:49:40,966
Ah!
1164
00:49:41,066 --> 00:49:43,210
My big opportunity
came when my brother Ted and I
1165
00:49:43,234 --> 00:49:45,501
went on vacation
down to the Caribbean
1166
00:49:45,601 --> 00:49:48,569
where I got to see him in action
with all those gorgeous girls.
1167
00:49:48,669 --> 00:49:51,537
Last night
just wasn't long enough.
1168
00:49:51,637 --> 00:49:54,471
The cops had to break
us up on the beach.
1169
00:49:54,571 --> 00:49:56,439
Well, how about this one?
1170
00:49:56,538 --> 00:49:58,905
You can see sleepover.
1171
00:50:19,047 --> 00:50:19,746
Eureka!
1172
00:50:19,846 --> 00:50:20,846
Ho, ho!
1173
00:50:23,014 --> 00:50:26,682
See you later
tonight, iron thighs.
1174
00:50:26,782 --> 00:50:28,783
I have to go do my nails.
1175
00:50:28,883 --> 00:50:33,152
I want to look good for
you all over my body.
1176
00:50:33,252 --> 00:50:34,585
You already do, baby.
1177
00:50:38,519 --> 00:50:39,886
Wow!
1178
00:50:39,986 --> 00:50:42,355
She practically tore
your bathing suit off.
1179
00:50:42,455 --> 00:50:43,321
You think she was hot.
1180
00:50:43,421 --> 00:50:45,256
You should see her friend.
1181
00:50:45,356 --> 00:50:47,589
By the way, fixed you
up with her tonight.
1182
00:50:47,689 --> 00:50:48,689
Wow!
1183
00:50:48,723 --> 00:50:50,258
A date for me?
1184
00:50:50,358 --> 00:50:51,124
Thanks, big brother.
1185
00:50:51,224 --> 00:50:52,223
Anything for you, pal.
1186
00:50:56,293 --> 00:50:59,194
Listen, tonight don't
embarrass me, ok?
1187
00:50:59,294 --> 00:51:01,295
So when you got this
chick in your room, right?
1188
00:51:01,394 --> 00:51:02,571
You start banging away at her.
1189
00:51:02,595 --> 00:51:05,229
Make sure she's really
screaming loud, all right?
1190
00:51:05,329 --> 00:51:06,129
Screaming?
1191
00:51:06,229 --> 00:51:06,929
Sure.
1192
00:51:07,030 --> 00:51:07,729
Why?
1193
00:51:07,829 --> 00:51:08,630
Do I hurt her?
1194
00:51:08,730 --> 00:51:10,098
No, it's for the effect.
1195
00:51:10,198 --> 00:51:11,198
Just think about it.
1196
00:51:11,298 --> 00:51:12,565
You're in there banging away.
1197
00:51:12,665 --> 00:51:13,432
And she's screaming.
1198
00:51:13,532 --> 00:51:14,999
Your buddies are outside, ok?
1199
00:51:15,100 --> 00:51:15,999
You're screaming your name.
1200
00:51:16,100 --> 00:51:17,209
And you're going,
boy, that Danny.
1201
00:51:17,233 --> 00:51:18,633
He's hung like a horse.
1202
00:51:18,733 --> 00:51:19,733
Yeah.
1203
00:51:25,503 --> 00:51:26,622
Hey, you want another trick?
1204
00:51:26,703 --> 00:51:27,770
Always worked for me?
1205
00:51:27,870 --> 00:51:28,870
What?
1206
00:51:28,904 --> 00:51:29,947
Take a big was of
toilet paper, right?
1207
00:51:29,971 --> 00:51:30,837
Shove it down your pants.
1208
00:51:30,937 --> 00:51:32,173
Uh-huh.
1209
00:51:32,272 --> 00:51:34,706
That way she'll see you...
A nice, big bulge down there.
1210
00:51:34,806 --> 00:51:35,882
She's got something
to work with.
1211
00:51:35,906 --> 00:51:37,474
- You know what I mean?
- Yeah.
1212
00:51:37,574 --> 00:51:39,084
You're going to have a
good time tonight, buddy.
1213
00:51:39,108 --> 00:51:39,808
Yeah.
1214
00:51:56,081 --> 00:51:56,980
Eureka!
1215
00:51:57,081 --> 00:51:58,081
Ho, ho, ho!
1216
00:52:02,483 --> 00:52:05,484
Suddenly,
felt a strange heat on my back.
1217
00:52:05,584 --> 00:52:06,450
I turned around.
1218
00:52:06,550 --> 00:52:08,718
And there she was...
My dream girl.
1219
00:52:08,818 --> 00:52:11,086
She was even more
beautiful in person.
1220
00:52:11,186 --> 00:52:12,287
I thought I was dreaming.
1221
00:52:12,387 --> 00:52:14,019
But, no, it was true.
1222
00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:15,920
The girl from the
pages of "penthouse"
1223
00:52:16,020 --> 00:52:18,055
was standing right
in front of me.
1224
00:52:21,656 --> 00:52:22,723
I was speechless.
1225
00:52:22,823 --> 00:52:25,724
I couldn't believe my eyes.
1226
00:52:25,824 --> 00:52:27,558
Before I could make
my move, she was gone.
1227
00:52:36,928 --> 00:52:38,505
Just
when I thought I'd never
1228
00:52:38,529 --> 00:52:40,762
see her again, I turned around.
1229
00:52:40,862 --> 00:52:41,861
And there she was.
1230
00:52:57,668 --> 00:53:00,469
I didn't know if my eyes were
playing tricks on me or what.
1231
00:53:00,569 --> 00:53:02,504
So I had to tell my brother.
1232
00:53:02,604 --> 00:53:07,172
I said, Ted, Ted,
did you see that?
1233
00:53:07,272 --> 00:53:08,272
What?
1234
00:53:08,372 --> 00:53:09,915
It's the girl on the
cover of "penthouse."
1235
00:53:09,939 --> 00:53:12,773
She smiled at me.
1236
00:53:12,873 --> 00:53:13,873
Huh?
1237
00:53:16,275 --> 00:53:17,475
He said...
1238
00:53:17,575 --> 00:53:19,619
Danny, I really think you've
been spending a little too
1239
00:53:19,643 --> 00:53:21,511
much time in the sun, pal.
1240
00:53:21,611 --> 00:53:23,887
I figured
maybe I had been out in the sun
1241
00:53:23,911 --> 00:53:25,812
too long.
1242
00:53:25,912 --> 00:53:27,313
Hey, boss, look!
1243
00:53:27,413 --> 00:53:28,279
The plane!
1244
00:53:28,379 --> 00:53:29,379
The plane!
1245
00:53:35,549 --> 00:53:36,725
Ted and I planned
1246
00:53:36,749 --> 00:53:38,083
to stick together that night.
1247
00:53:38,183 --> 00:53:40,218
He said teamwork was
the name of the game.
1248
00:53:40,318 --> 00:53:41,518
Yeah, teamwork.
1249
00:53:47,886 --> 00:53:51,122
The last time... did you
see her on the beach today?
1250
00:53:51,222 --> 00:53:54,156
Would you stop messing
around with this magazine?
1251
00:53:54,256 --> 00:53:55,789
Look, just turn the centerfold.
1252
00:53:55,889 --> 00:53:58,257
Maybe you'll recognize
her from there.
1253
00:53:58,357 --> 00:54:01,125
These pages are
all stuck together.
1254
00:54:01,225 --> 00:54:03,891
What have you been
doing with this?
1255
00:54:03,991 --> 00:54:07,960
Now, listen, why don't you just
forget about girls in magazines
1256
00:54:08,060 --> 00:54:10,628
and start to think about the
real poontang coming over here
1257
00:54:10,728 --> 00:54:11,428
tonight?
1258
00:54:11,528 --> 00:54:12,529
Huh?
1259
00:54:12,629 --> 00:54:13,662
Gladys.
1260
00:54:13,762 --> 00:54:15,062
Gladys, yeah.
1261
00:54:15,163 --> 00:54:18,231
Tonight, buddy, you're
going to be a man.
1262
00:54:18,331 --> 00:54:19,597
Yeah.
1263
00:54:19,697 --> 00:54:21,132
All right, now
these girls are hot.
1264
00:54:21,232 --> 00:54:22,341
So we've got to be on our toes.
1265
00:54:22,365 --> 00:54:23,908
Ok, let's make sure we
have everything set up.
1266
00:54:23,932 --> 00:54:24,633
Ok.
1267
00:54:24,733 --> 00:54:25,899
Got the liquor?
1268
00:54:25,999 --> 00:54:26,700
Check.
1269
00:54:26,800 --> 00:54:28,434
Reefer.
1270
00:54:28,534 --> 00:54:29,235
Check.
1271
00:54:29,335 --> 00:54:31,801
Rubbers.
1272
00:54:31,901 --> 00:54:32,736
Check.
1273
00:54:32,836 --> 00:54:35,570
Petroleum jelly?
1274
00:54:35,670 --> 00:54:36,970
Check.
1275
00:54:37,070 --> 00:54:41,405
Hey, Danny, tonight, it's just
you and me... team inseparable.
1276
00:54:41,505 --> 00:54:42,739
Yeah.
1277
00:54:42,839 --> 00:54:44,106
Teddy, boy.
1278
00:54:47,907 --> 00:54:48,907
Mona.
1279
00:54:49,007 --> 00:54:52,643
Hey, baby, you look
like a million bucks.
1280
00:54:52,743 --> 00:54:57,211
You're looking pretty good
tonight yourself, iron thighs.
1281
00:54:57,311 --> 00:54:58,711
Hey, who is this kid?
1282
00:54:58,811 --> 00:55:00,011
It's my little brother, Danny.
1283
00:55:00,112 --> 00:55:01,746
You remember him from the beach.
1284
00:55:01,846 --> 00:55:03,405
He's supposed to be
with Gladys tonight.
1285
00:55:03,447 --> 00:55:04,347
Where is she anyway?
1286
00:55:04,447 --> 00:55:05,647
Oh, I forgot to tell her.
1287
00:55:05,747 --> 00:55:07,548
I had important things to do.
1288
00:55:07,648 --> 00:55:09,715
I had to do my nails.
1289
00:55:09,815 --> 00:55:12,683
Hey, are we going to end
up babysitting tonight?
1290
00:55:12,783 --> 00:55:14,284
What is this?
1291
00:55:14,384 --> 00:55:15,451
No, he was just leaving.
1292
00:55:15,551 --> 00:55:16,817
Weren't you, Danny?
1293
00:55:16,917 --> 00:55:17,916
Scram.
1294
00:55:17,951 --> 00:55:18,685
Beat it.
1295
00:55:18,785 --> 00:55:19,828
Here's your hat and your whip.
1296
00:55:19,852 --> 00:55:21,586
And here is a dollar.
1297
00:55:21,686 --> 00:55:23,263
Why don't you go out
and maybe see a movie
1298
00:55:23,287 --> 00:55:24,530
and sleep on the
beach tonight, buddy.
1299
00:55:24,554 --> 00:55:25,255
Thanks a lot.
1300
00:55:25,355 --> 00:55:26,474
I'll see you in the morning.
1301
00:55:29,389 --> 00:55:32,857
Ok, Teddy, baby, let's party.
1302
00:55:32,957 --> 00:55:33,956
All right!
1303
00:55:54,097 --> 00:55:55,096
Wuh?
1304
00:55:58,999 --> 00:56:00,433
Hello.
1305
00:56:00,533 --> 00:56:03,434
I've been waiting for you.
1306
00:56:03,534 --> 00:56:04,734
For me?
1307
00:56:04,834 --> 00:56:06,802
Your name is Danny isn't it?
1308
00:56:06,902 --> 00:56:08,336
How did you know?
1309
00:56:08,436 --> 00:56:11,737
Oh, just a lucky guess.
1310
00:56:11,837 --> 00:56:12,637
Have some champagne.
1311
00:56:12,737 --> 00:56:13,937
It's wonderful.
1312
00:56:21,740 --> 00:56:27,210
Here is too long nights
and deep emotions.
1313
00:56:27,310 --> 00:56:29,210
I'll drink to that.
1314
00:56:29,310 --> 00:56:32,144
They say if you
wish hard enough,
1315
00:56:32,244 --> 00:56:34,779
your dream can come true.
1316
00:56:34,879 --> 00:56:35,878
They do?
1317
00:56:35,912 --> 00:56:39,113
They say if a
dream can come true,
1318
00:56:39,214 --> 00:56:42,282
it'll change your life forever.
1319
00:56:42,382 --> 00:56:43,515
They do?
1320
00:56:43,615 --> 00:56:47,616
They say that falling
in love is wonderful.
1321
00:56:47,716 --> 00:56:49,017
They do?
1322
00:56:49,116 --> 00:56:50,617
Yeah.
1323
00:56:50,717 --> 00:56:52,585
Wow!
1324
00:56:52,685 --> 00:56:54,586
Mona, you're kind of
special to me, you know?
1325
00:56:54,686 --> 00:56:57,287
Ah, oh.
1326
00:56:57,387 --> 00:56:59,788
I've never met anybody
like you before.
1327
00:56:59,887 --> 00:57:00,921
Whoa!
1328
00:57:01,021 --> 00:57:03,021
I really think i'm
falling in love with you.
1329
00:57:03,121 --> 00:57:04,121
Ted!
1330
00:57:04,190 --> 00:57:06,256
Ted, we have the whole
night ahead of us.
1331
00:57:06,356 --> 00:57:08,657
I wouldn't want
you peak too soon.
1332
00:57:08,757 --> 00:57:11,057
How about another drink?
1333
00:57:11,158 --> 00:57:12,958
But you've already had seven.
1334
00:57:13,058 --> 00:57:15,126
Oh, come one, Danny,
you've been dreaming
1335
00:57:15,227 --> 00:57:17,093
about this for a long time.
1336
00:57:17,194 --> 00:57:19,595
But I don't understand.
1337
00:57:19,695 --> 00:57:21,128
I saw you on the beach today.
1338
00:57:21,229 --> 00:57:22,496
And then you disappeared.
1339
00:57:22,596 --> 00:57:24,596
And there's a fat
man in your chair.
1340
00:57:24,696 --> 00:57:27,763
And what are you
trying to do to me?
1341
00:57:27,863 --> 00:57:31,365
I'm going to do to you
exactly what you want me to.
1342
00:57:53,407 --> 00:57:54,273
Oh, Mona.
1343
00:57:54,373 --> 00:57:55,174
Oh, stop!
1344
00:57:55,274 --> 00:57:56,874
Wait!
1345
00:57:56,974 --> 00:58:00,275
I don't even know any
important thing about you.
1346
00:58:00,375 --> 00:58:03,177
I mean, for example,
what's your sign?
1347
00:58:03,276 --> 00:58:05,211
I'm Taurus... the bull.
1348
00:58:05,311 --> 00:58:06,111
Oh!
1349
00:58:07,011 --> 00:58:08,345
Oh!
1350
00:58:08,445 --> 00:58:10,145
I mean, like where
do you go to school.
1351
00:58:10,246 --> 00:58:11,813
What does your father do?
1352
00:58:11,913 --> 00:58:13,314
He's a plumber or something.
1353
00:58:13,414 --> 00:58:15,047
Who cares?
1354
00:58:15,147 --> 00:58:16,466
Well, it's just
that I like to get
1355
00:58:16,548 --> 00:58:19,048
to know my man a little
bit better before I take
1356
00:58:19,148 --> 00:58:22,683
them to that special place.
1357
00:58:22,783 --> 00:58:24,351
What's your name again?
1358
00:58:24,451 --> 00:58:25,150
Huh?
1359
00:58:37,288 --> 00:58:38,689
Danny, your bulge.
1360
00:58:42,757 --> 00:58:43,756
Ah!
1361
00:58:47,091 --> 00:58:49,859
Danny, you don't
have to impress me.
1362
00:58:51,893 --> 00:58:53,036
Then it happened just
1363
00:58:53,060 --> 00:58:54,961
like my brother said it would.
1364
00:58:55,061 --> 00:58:57,395
I didn't know if I could live
up to my brother's standards.
1365
00:58:59,162 --> 00:59:01,063
I'm going to porkyou, you bitch.
1366
00:59:01,163 --> 00:59:03,864
When I heard
Ted's girl, Mona, screaming,
1367
00:59:03,964 --> 00:59:05,865
I knew Ted had
things under control.
1368
00:59:06,898 --> 00:59:07,733
Oh!
1369
00:59:07,833 --> 00:59:10,567
God!
1370
00:59:10,667 --> 00:59:11,967
Oh!
1371
00:59:12,067 --> 00:59:12,967
Oh!
1372
00:59:13,067 --> 00:59:15,802
Oh, Teddy, I'm so sorry.
1373
00:59:15,901 --> 00:59:17,402
Let me rub it for you.
1374
00:59:17,502 --> 00:59:19,036
Maybe I can make it feel better.
1375
00:59:19,136 --> 00:59:20,438
No, no, get out of here.
1376
00:59:20,537 --> 00:59:21,537
Just leave me alone.
1377
00:59:24,239 --> 00:59:27,540
Well, thanks for
the lovely evening.
1378
00:59:27,640 --> 00:59:28,540
Oh!
1379
00:59:54,049 --> 00:59:56,883
I knew
I had matters well in hand.
1380
00:59:56,983 --> 00:59:58,262
Ted would have been proud of me.
1381
01:00:05,153 --> 01:00:06,354
I was so excited.
1382
01:00:06,454 --> 01:00:08,720
I didn't even notice
that Mona walked in.
1383
01:00:18,090 --> 01:00:20,824
You'd think a lover like Ted
would be enough for any girl.
1384
01:00:20,924 --> 01:00:22,792
But Mona still wasn't satisfied.
1385
01:00:28,362 --> 01:00:33,162
Ok, Danny boy, let's party.
1386
01:00:33,263 --> 01:00:34,263
Wow!
1387
01:00:36,830 --> 01:00:40,098
So they
taught me how to have an orgy.
1388
01:00:40,198 --> 01:00:42,666
That's the most ridiculous
thing I've ever heard.
1389
01:00:42,766 --> 01:00:45,133
I don't care what
you think, douche bag.
1390
01:00:45,234 --> 01:00:47,901
It happened just that way.
1391
01:00:48,001 --> 01:00:51,403
We have been stuck
in here all day.
1392
01:00:51,503 --> 01:00:54,637
What if they can't find us?
1393
01:00:54,737 --> 01:00:56,080
What if they are not
even looking for us?
1394
01:00:56,104 --> 01:00:57,837
We've just got to
trust them, Annie.
1395
01:00:57,937 --> 01:00:59,972
They'll find us.
1396
01:01:00,072 --> 01:01:01,871
I think there's something
terribly wrong here.
1397
01:01:01,906 --> 01:01:03,640
Has he had an allergy attack?
1398
01:01:03,740 --> 01:01:05,475
Gee, Mr. Zitzler,
have you heard anything
1399
01:01:05,574 --> 01:01:07,808
about Danny and the others yet?
1400
01:01:07,908 --> 01:01:09,285
No, as a matter off
act, we have not.
1401
01:01:09,309 --> 01:01:11,909
Now, it's time for
your dip, dippy.
1402
01:01:12,009 --> 01:01:13,843
Danny and the others.
1403
01:01:13,943 --> 01:01:15,378
Danny and the others?
1404
01:01:15,478 --> 01:01:17,845
Danny and the others...
It's a rock group coming
1405
01:01:17,944 --> 01:01:19,144
into to entertain our campers.
1406
01:01:19,179 --> 01:01:19,879
Rock?
1407
01:01:19,979 --> 01:01:21,012
Rock?
1408
01:01:21,112 --> 01:01:22,490
Oh, you're interested
in rocks, Mrs. Anderson.
1409
01:01:22,514 --> 01:01:24,057
Why didn't you just tell
me in the first place?
1410
01:01:24,081 --> 01:01:25,823
I've got a rock collection
you'd love to see.
1411
01:01:25,847 --> 01:01:30,383
Well, I guess it's time
for the moment of truth.
1412
01:01:30,483 --> 01:01:31,949
When is the first
time miss nature.
1413
01:01:32,049 --> 01:01:35,518
Teacher got her pubes parted?
1414
01:01:35,618 --> 01:01:37,519
What is the matter with you?
1415
01:01:37,619 --> 01:01:38,886
You have a one-track mind.
1416
01:01:38,986 --> 01:01:40,287
Why don't you just grow up?
1417
01:01:40,387 --> 01:01:43,254
Oh, miss maturity, what makes
you better than everyone else?
1418
01:01:43,354 --> 01:01:45,689
We all told about the
first time we got laid.
1419
01:01:45,788 --> 01:01:47,755
What are you so afraid of?
1420
01:01:47,855 --> 01:01:49,890
All right, I'll tell you.
1421
01:01:53,325 --> 01:01:56,493
I am proud of my
relationship with Dwayne.
1422
01:01:56,592 --> 01:01:58,026
It was perfect.
1423
01:01:58,125 --> 01:02:02,127
He was everything
a girl could want.
1424
01:02:02,227 --> 01:02:04,228
What a hunk.
1425
01:02:04,328 --> 01:02:06,061
What a man.
1426
01:02:06,161 --> 01:02:08,563
Even as far back as
junior high school,
1427
01:02:08,663 --> 01:02:12,163
Dwayne and I innocently
explored the mysteries
1428
01:02:12,264 --> 01:02:14,131
of coming adulthood.
1429
01:02:14,231 --> 01:02:15,965
Oh, my, oh my, oh my, I think we
1430
01:02:16,065 --> 01:02:18,166
have a definite problem here.
1431
01:02:18,266 --> 01:02:19,842
Are you sure this was
your homework assignment?
1432
01:02:19,866 --> 01:02:20,567
Of course, I'm sure.
1433
01:02:20,667 --> 01:02:21,666
What do you think?
1434
01:02:21,734 --> 01:02:25,836
Oh, no, the nurse has a boo boo.
1435
01:02:25,935 --> 01:02:28,103
And you know what else, nurse?
1436
01:02:28,203 --> 01:02:30,204
The doctor has a boo boo too.
1437
01:02:30,305 --> 01:02:32,538
Where?
1438
01:02:32,638 --> 01:02:33,506
Here.
1439
01:02:33,606 --> 01:02:35,572
Kiss it and make
it better, please.
1440
01:02:35,672 --> 01:02:38,140
Ok, the nurse will now
kiss the doctor's boo boo.
1441
01:02:38,240 --> 01:02:39,983
The nurse that kisses his
boo boo to make it better
1442
01:02:40,007 --> 01:02:41,141
is going to cost $25.
1443
01:02:41,241 --> 01:02:44,942
Do you have blue
cross or blue shield.
1444
01:02:45,042 --> 01:02:46,310
Hi mom and dad!
1445
01:02:46,410 --> 01:02:48,277
Is everything all right, Dwayne?
1446
01:02:55,013 --> 01:02:57,046
Michelle farmer
mom and dad
1447
01:02:57,146 --> 01:02:59,648
were crazy about
dewayne and invited him
1448
01:02:59,748 --> 01:03:02,115
over once a week for dinner.
1449
01:03:02,215 --> 01:03:05,783
He and dad saw
eye-to-eye on everything.
1450
01:03:05,883 --> 01:03:08,751
Well, Dwayne, my boy, have you
registered for the draft yet?
1451
01:03:08,851 --> 01:03:10,452
No, have you?
1452
01:03:10,552 --> 01:03:13,019
Why son, years
ago I did my duty.
1453
01:03:13,119 --> 01:03:13,852
You did your duty?
1454
01:03:13,952 --> 01:03:17,220
Well, why don't you flush it?
1455
01:03:17,321 --> 01:03:18,322
Right, Michelle?
1456
01:03:18,422 --> 01:03:19,455
Right.
1457
01:03:19,555 --> 01:03:21,423
Besides, I don't
think they should
1458
01:03:21,523 --> 01:03:25,590
waste the cream of American
youth such as myself.
1459
01:03:25,690 --> 01:03:27,057
Right, Michelle?
1460
01:03:27,157 --> 01:03:28,458
Right.
1461
01:03:28,558 --> 01:03:30,759
Ah, very sensible.
1462
01:03:30,858 --> 01:03:34,059
Do you like meat, Dwayne?
1463
01:03:34,159 --> 01:03:37,294
I love meat, Mrs. Richards.
1464
01:03:37,394 --> 01:03:38,462
Right, Michelle?
1465
01:03:52,566 --> 01:03:53,566
Mmm.
1466
01:04:00,036 --> 01:04:03,570
Lucy, isn't it wonderful that
a fine, upstanding young man
1467
01:04:03,670 --> 01:04:05,471
like Dwayne has
taken an interest
1468
01:04:05,571 --> 01:04:07,004
in our little Michelle?
1469
01:04:07,104 --> 01:04:09,172
Oh, desi, we're so lucky.
1470
01:04:18,576 --> 01:04:20,876
A special
announcement, everybody.
1471
01:04:20,976 --> 01:04:24,345
Dwayne is taking me to the prom!
1472
01:04:24,445 --> 01:04:26,645
Darling.
1473
01:04:26,745 --> 01:04:28,045
That's marvellous.
1474
01:04:28,145 --> 01:04:29,946
I couldn't be happier.
1475
01:04:30,046 --> 01:04:31,613
Thank you, daddy.
1476
01:04:31,713 --> 01:04:34,514
Dwayne, you better take
care of my little girl.
1477
01:04:34,614 --> 01:04:37,615
Oh, I'll take care of
her, Mr. Richards, sir.
1478
01:04:37,715 --> 01:04:38,715
Right, Michelle?
1479
01:04:42,417 --> 01:04:43,660
Michelle farmer
it was
1480
01:04:43,684 --> 01:04:47,252
right then and there that
I felt the first stirrings
1481
01:04:47,353 --> 01:04:48,753
of youthful passion.
1482
01:04:48,853 --> 01:04:55,821
And I knew it wouldn't be long
before the earth moved for me.
1483
01:04:55,921 --> 01:04:59,557
I decided that dewayne
would be my first.
1484
01:04:59,657 --> 01:05:02,257
Then came the night
of the junior prom.
1485
01:05:02,358 --> 01:05:05,825
Dwayne was so romantic.
1486
01:05:05,925 --> 01:05:07,560
Afterwards, he
took me to a disco.
1487
01:05:12,795 --> 01:05:15,696
See that was a
great prom, Dwayne.
1488
01:05:15,796 --> 01:05:19,096
Don't eat that.
1489
01:05:19,196 --> 01:05:23,566
Yeah, I'm sorry I threw up
in your punch though Michelle.
1490
01:05:23,665 --> 01:05:24,665
You did?
1491
01:05:30,601 --> 01:05:31,801
I get it.
1492
01:05:31,901 --> 01:05:33,168
You want to dance.
1493
01:06:03,212 --> 01:06:04,346
Danny!
1494
01:06:04,446 --> 01:06:05,789
Michelle farmer
just when
1495
01:06:05,813 --> 01:06:09,081
I thought Dwayne was about to
make the earth move for me,
1496
01:06:09,181 --> 01:06:10,047
she appeared.
1497
01:06:18,751 --> 01:06:20,586
I was crushed.
1498
01:06:20,686 --> 01:06:23,820
I couldn't imagine
what he saw in her.
1499
01:06:23,919 --> 01:06:24,620
Hey!
1500
01:06:24,720 --> 01:06:27,187
Hey!
1501
01:06:27,287 --> 01:06:27,988
Dwayne!
1502
01:06:28,088 --> 01:06:29,188
What about me?
1503
01:06:42,793 --> 01:06:43,970
Michelle farmer
I never
1504
01:06:43,993 --> 01:06:48,328
felt so lonely in all my life.
1505
01:06:48,429 --> 01:06:52,530
Then I saw him across
the crowded room.
1506
01:06:52,630 --> 01:06:55,030
And I knew there could
be life after Dwayne.
1507
01:07:07,167 --> 01:07:09,302
I felt like I was
floating on a cloud.
1508
01:07:17,639 --> 01:07:21,306
I knew in a flash that he
was twice the man dwyane was.
1509
01:07:27,675 --> 01:07:29,209
He grabbed me and kissed me.
1510
01:07:31,976 --> 01:07:35,244
I felt like a bow of
quivering jello in his arms.
1511
01:07:38,312 --> 01:07:41,647
He came close to me and
whispered something in my ears.
1512
01:07:41,747 --> 01:07:42,746
Let's go.
1513
01:07:46,416 --> 01:07:47,782
Oh!
1514
01:07:47,882 --> 01:07:48,750
Whoa!
1515
01:07:48,850 --> 01:07:49,926
Michelle farmer
I guess
1516
01:07:49,950 --> 01:07:52,283
I must have misunderstood.
1517
01:07:52,384 --> 01:07:54,952
I thought he said balling.
1518
01:07:55,052 --> 01:08:00,353
What he really said
was, "let's go bowling."
1519
01:08:00,454 --> 01:08:02,254
Oh!
1520
01:08:02,354 --> 01:08:03,353
So we went bowling.
1521
01:08:07,723 --> 01:08:10,624
He picked just the right spot.
1522
01:08:10,724 --> 01:08:15,659
Oh, it wasn't exactly
lover's Lane, but for $0.75,
1523
01:08:15,759 --> 01:08:18,460
shoes included,
what do you expect?
1524
01:08:18,560 --> 01:08:21,094
Well how do you
like the date so far?
1525
01:08:21,194 --> 01:08:23,004
Michelle farmer
:By the end of the evening,
1526
01:08:23,028 --> 01:08:26,630
I could see that the only
thing he had on his mind
1527
01:08:26,730 --> 01:08:28,597
was scoring up my alley.
1528
01:08:28,697 --> 01:08:34,766
The date was a strength
for him got a call for me.
1529
01:08:39,568 --> 01:08:42,168
Well, the earth
didn't move for me,
1530
01:08:42,268 --> 01:08:44,269
but I suppose it
could've been worse.
1531
01:08:44,369 --> 01:08:47,703
Yeah, you could have got
your twat twizzled by Dwayne.
1532
01:08:52,139 --> 01:08:55,540
Stinky, you're now a member
of our traditional circle jerk.
1533
01:08:55,640 --> 01:08:56,741
Congratulations.
1534
01:08:56,841 --> 01:08:59,141
You know, guys,
I'm really touched
1535
01:08:59,241 --> 01:09:01,308
you let me take part in this.
1536
01:09:01,409 --> 01:09:04,043
It's really the
climax of my summer.
1537
01:09:04,143 --> 01:09:05,810
Ah, that's ok, stink.
1538
01:09:05,910 --> 01:09:07,511
We feel you have
what it takes to take
1539
01:09:07,611 --> 01:09:10,178
part in our sacred event.
1540
01:09:10,278 --> 01:09:13,146
This is a very select group
you're entering, stinky.
1541
01:09:13,246 --> 01:09:13,946
You're a member of that.
1542
01:09:14,046 --> 01:09:16,548
And here are the rules.
1543
01:09:16,648 --> 01:09:20,148
All lights must be turned off.
1544
01:09:20,248 --> 01:09:23,450
The first person to
reach climatic finality
1545
01:09:23,550 --> 01:09:27,784
is the honorary chairman of
the eagles for next summer.
1546
01:09:27,884 --> 01:09:30,819
Stop joking and start stroking.
1547
01:09:36,988 --> 01:09:37,987
How you doing stinky?
1548
01:09:38,055 --> 01:09:39,422
I'm doing ok.
1549
01:09:39,522 --> 01:09:47,517
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah ah, ah ah ah!
1550
01:09:49,925 --> 01:09:50,992
I'm first!
1551
01:09:51,092 --> 01:09:51,793
I'm first.
1552
01:09:51,893 --> 01:09:54,260
I'm champion.
1553
01:09:54,360 --> 01:09:55,627
It's so cute.
1554
01:09:55,727 --> 01:09:57,294
What wrist action.
1555
01:09:57,394 --> 01:10:01,396
I always knew you could
handle yourself in a crowd.
1556
01:10:13,434 --> 01:10:15,801
Look!
1557
01:10:15,901 --> 01:10:17,802
The lantern is flickering.
1558
01:10:17,902 --> 01:10:20,270
There must be a breeze.
1559
01:10:20,369 --> 01:10:21,270
It's a passage.
1560
01:10:21,370 --> 01:10:24,237
They must have
begun to dig us out!
1561
01:10:24,337 --> 01:10:25,738
Yes!
1562
01:10:25,838 --> 01:10:27,238
We're in here!
1563
01:10:27,338 --> 01:10:32,641
Oh, I believe I was incorrect
in my original analysis.
1564
01:10:32,740 --> 01:10:33,808
- What?
- What?
1565
01:10:33,908 --> 01:10:34,608
What?
1566
01:10:34,708 --> 01:10:35,941
What?
1567
01:10:36,041 --> 01:10:40,177
Well, the fact that the
lantern is burning at a clearly
1568
01:10:40,277 --> 01:10:42,511
diminished level
indicates that there
1569
01:10:42,611 --> 01:10:44,645
is no longer sufficient
oxygen to support burning.
1570
01:10:44,745 --> 01:10:45,744
-What?-what?
1571
01:10:45,812 --> 01:10:46,612
What?
1572
01:10:46,712 --> 01:10:47,546
I have a headache.
1573
01:10:47,646 --> 01:10:50,514
Yes, Annie, your
headache is clear
1574
01:10:50,614 --> 01:10:53,314
indication that the car
bondioxide level has reached
1575
01:10:53,414 --> 01:10:56,716
the point where breathing
becomes imperative
1576
01:10:56,816 --> 01:10:58,083
and asphyxiation sets in.
1577
01:10:58,183 --> 01:10:59,316
Asphyxiation?
1578
01:10:59,416 --> 01:11:00,456
You mean like suffocating?
1579
01:11:00,517 --> 01:11:01,861
You mean there's no
more oxygen to breath?
1580
01:11:01,885 --> 01:11:03,185
Calm down.
1581
01:11:03,285 --> 01:11:04,652
Calm down.
1582
01:11:04,752 --> 01:11:07,620
I'm sure that help
is on the way.
1583
01:11:07,720 --> 01:11:10,554
They are probably close
enough to hear us.
1584
01:11:10,654 --> 01:11:11,488
Help!
1585
01:11:11,588 --> 01:11:12,288
Help!
1586
01:11:12,388 --> 01:11:13,889
We're stuck in a cave.
1587
01:11:13,989 --> 01:11:14,989
Help!
1588
01:11:15,089 --> 01:11:16,088
Help!
1589
01:11:17,956 --> 01:11:19,767
I do not
go down on French poodles.
1590
01:11:19,791 --> 01:11:20,591
I am sure.
1591
01:11:20,691 --> 01:11:21,858
Oh, are we on?
1592
01:11:21,958 --> 01:11:23,058
Oh.
1593
01:11:23,158 --> 01:11:26,694
Attention campers, meet
your parents like in front
1594
01:11:26,793 --> 01:11:28,460
of the grody mess hall, ok?
1595
01:11:34,429 --> 01:11:35,763
We drove all the way up here.
1596
01:11:35,863 --> 01:11:36,697
Hi!
1597
01:11:36,797 --> 01:11:38,631
Hi!
1598
01:11:38,731 --> 01:11:40,198
Mom, I won the circle jerk.
1599
01:11:40,298 --> 01:11:42,632
That's my boy, ho, ho, no!
1600
01:11:42,732 --> 01:11:44,099
Danny.
1601
01:11:44,199 --> 01:11:46,066
Where's my Danny?
1602
01:11:46,166 --> 01:11:46,933
Excuse me.
1603
01:11:47,033 --> 01:11:47,867
Have you seen my Danny?
1604
01:11:47,967 --> 01:11:50,067
Danny?
1605
01:11:50,167 --> 01:11:51,411
Attention parents,
1606
01:11:51,435 --> 01:11:54,703
go to the totally
tubular arts and crafts
1607
01:11:54,803 --> 01:11:57,337
show where like
children's exhibits
1608
01:11:57,437 --> 01:11:59,805
are on display, ha, whoa.
1609
01:11:59,905 --> 01:12:01,081
Now parents, look
at the subtlety
1610
01:12:01,105 --> 01:12:03,006
of these curving lines.
1611
01:12:03,106 --> 01:12:05,873
The smooth yet rugged
texture of the pieces
1612
01:12:05,973 --> 01:12:08,808
speaks eloquently of the
thrusting and parrying
1613
01:12:08,908 --> 01:12:11,709
techniques that your very
talented children have utilized
1614
01:12:11,809 --> 01:12:13,819
in order to put together these
beautiful, marvelous works
1615
01:12:13,843 --> 01:12:14,544
of art.
1616
01:12:19,845 --> 01:12:21,804
Oh, my god, it's
bigger than yours, Harold.
1617
01:12:28,815 --> 01:12:30,315
Oh, no, the lantern went out.
1618
01:12:30,415 --> 01:12:31,617
Michelle is right.
1619
01:12:31,716 --> 01:12:33,416
We're running out of air.
1620
01:12:36,151 --> 01:12:37,294
Everybody down on the ground.
1621
01:12:37,318 --> 01:12:39,585
There's more air on the ground.
1622
01:12:39,685 --> 01:12:41,085
Down.
1623
01:12:41,185 --> 01:12:43,854
This is ridiculous.
1624
01:12:43,954 --> 01:12:45,992
Michelle, will you just
get down and breathe please?
1625
01:12:46,054 --> 01:12:46,755
Why?
1626
01:12:46,855 --> 01:12:48,422
Just get down and breathe!
1627
01:12:48,523 --> 01:12:49,522
All right.
1628
01:12:52,256 --> 01:12:53,624
I can't breathe.
1629
01:12:53,724 --> 01:12:55,758
I can't help it.
1630
01:12:55,858 --> 01:12:56,725
I can't help it.
1631
01:12:56,825 --> 01:12:58,692
We got to get out of here.
1632
01:12:58,792 --> 01:13:00,159
This can't happen.
1633
01:13:00,259 --> 01:13:02,227
We just got to get out of here.
1634
01:13:02,327 --> 01:13:03,528
I can't deal with this.
1635
01:13:03,628 --> 01:13:06,161
We got to get out of here!
1636
01:13:06,261 --> 01:13:09,863
Oh, shit, I'm 17.
1637
01:13:09,963 --> 01:13:11,396
I'm going to die.
1638
01:13:11,497 --> 01:13:13,463
And I've never been laid.
1639
01:13:13,564 --> 01:13:14,297
What?
1640
01:13:14,397 --> 01:13:16,098
Huh?
1641
01:13:16,198 --> 01:13:16,932
What?
1642
01:13:17,032 --> 01:13:19,066
What?
1643
01:13:19,166 --> 01:13:21,299
There was no hooker.
1644
01:13:21,399 --> 01:13:23,568
I made the whole thing up.
1645
01:13:23,668 --> 01:13:27,502
Shit, I don't even know
how to talk to a girl.
1646
01:13:27,602 --> 01:13:28,602
Me neither.
1647
01:13:28,637 --> 01:13:32,037
I mean, I've never
made it either.
1648
01:13:32,137 --> 01:13:33,938
There was no dream girl.
1649
01:13:34,038 --> 01:13:36,205
And there was no
man with a knife.
1650
01:13:36,305 --> 01:13:37,973
I made it up.
1651
01:13:38,073 --> 01:13:39,906
I'm going to die a virgin.
1652
01:13:40,006 --> 01:13:43,207
Well, I guess there was
no Barbara billington.
1653
01:13:43,307 --> 01:13:47,776
Well, I mean there really
was a Barbara billington.
1654
01:13:47,876 --> 01:13:49,944
But she was just a
waitress I had a crush
1655
01:13:50,044 --> 01:13:52,645
at the local dunkin' donuts.
1656
01:13:52,745 --> 01:13:54,746
I'm going to die a virgin.
1657
01:13:54,846 --> 01:13:57,112
Well, let's not
dwell on the past.
1658
01:13:57,212 --> 01:14:02,114
I mean, I've always believed
that if you live fully
1659
01:14:02,214 --> 01:14:05,149
in the moment and lived
by the laws of nature,
1660
01:14:05,249 --> 01:14:07,550
then if death comes to
take you before your time,
1661
01:14:07,650 --> 01:14:09,283
you'll be part of nature.
1662
01:14:09,383 --> 01:14:11,552
Oh, what the fuck are you
talking about, Michelle.
1663
01:14:11,652 --> 01:14:12,552
Goddammit!
1664
01:14:12,652 --> 01:14:14,686
You're always talking
this bullshit.
1665
01:14:14,786 --> 01:14:16,520
For once in your life, can't you just
1666
01:14:16,620 --> 01:14:19,420
talk like a normal human being?
1667
01:14:19,521 --> 01:14:20,855
Come on, Mitch.
1668
01:14:20,955 --> 01:14:24,622
Hey, you want to hear this
shit she's always dealing out?
1669
01:14:24,722 --> 01:14:26,222
Well, I dont' know, Mitch.
1670
01:14:26,322 --> 01:14:27,500
You got to think
about nature now.
1671
01:14:27,524 --> 01:14:30,391
I mean, it's one thing if
an eighty-year-old woman
1672
01:14:30,491 --> 01:14:33,425
gets killed by a bus.
1673
01:14:33,526 --> 01:14:35,726
It's another thing
if a kid dies before.
1674
01:14:39,227 --> 01:14:42,028
I just think that really sucks.
1675
01:14:42,128 --> 01:14:43,763
Fuck you, Henry.
1676
01:14:43,863 --> 01:14:45,263
You're just as bad as she is.
1677
01:14:45,363 --> 01:14:47,598
What is this
philosophy bullshit?
1678
01:14:47,697 --> 01:14:49,197
You all are just scared.
1679
01:14:49,297 --> 01:14:50,931
I'm not fucking scared.
1680
01:14:51,031 --> 01:14:52,999
God damn it.
1681
01:14:53,099 --> 01:14:55,000
I'm going to die a virgin.
1682
01:14:55,100 --> 01:14:58,201
Why don't you just cut
out the tough guy routine.
1683
01:14:58,301 --> 01:14:59,802
You're just as scared as we are.
1684
01:14:59,902 --> 01:15:02,836
Oh, Michelle, you've always
had it in for me... always.
1685
01:15:02,936 --> 01:15:03,636
Yeah, come on.
1686
01:15:03,736 --> 01:15:04,903
Get it out now.
1687
01:15:05,003 --> 01:15:05,704
I always like you.
1688
01:15:05,804 --> 01:15:07,804
Bullshit!
1689
01:15:07,904 --> 01:15:11,138
I've always liked you.
1690
01:15:11,238 --> 01:15:13,039
I've always admired you.
1691
01:15:13,139 --> 01:15:15,674
You know the way the
little kids look up to you.
1692
01:15:15,774 --> 01:15:18,675
They see you as a role model.
1693
01:15:18,775 --> 01:15:20,576
I've always wished I
could be closer to you.
1694
01:15:36,782 --> 01:15:39,749
I think we should all be
spending these last few moments
1695
01:15:39,849 --> 01:15:41,617
being closest to the fighting.
1696
01:15:41,717 --> 01:15:43,516
I'm going to die a virgin.
1697
01:16:10,927 --> 01:16:12,870
We're are all part of nature's
1698
01:16:12,894 --> 01:16:14,561
constant state of flux.
1699
01:16:19,429 --> 01:16:21,497
If
I ever get out of here.
1700
01:16:21,598 --> 01:16:22,964
I'll never eat junk food again.
1701
01:16:26,299 --> 01:16:27,776
- I
- fever get out of here,
1702
01:16:27,800 --> 01:16:29,276
I'll change my subscription
from "penthouse"
1703
01:16:29,300 --> 01:16:30,901
to "national geographic."
1704
01:16:31,001 --> 01:16:33,735
I promise.
1705
01:16:33,835 --> 01:16:35,714
I don't
want to die a virgin.
1706
01:16:40,570 --> 01:16:42,246
This fucking cave sucks.
1707
01:19:30,764 --> 01:19:32,164
Oh!
1708
01:19:32,264 --> 01:19:33,631
Ah!
1709
01:19:49,704 --> 01:19:50,603
The earth is moving.
1710
01:19:55,372 --> 01:19:56,372
The earth is moving.
1711
01:20:07,843 --> 01:20:08,843
Oh, yeah!
1712
01:20:11,645 --> 01:20:14,545
Gee that was nice.
1713
01:20:31,686 --> 01:20:35,053
Mr. Zitzler, you're in such
a rush to sell this camp,
1714
01:20:35,153 --> 01:20:36,353
I got it think it over.
1715
01:20:36,453 --> 01:20:37,452
It's late.
1716
01:20:37,520 --> 01:20:39,588
I'll call you, Mr. Zitzler,
I'll call you.
1717
01:20:39,689 --> 01:20:42,890
Please, Mr. Costolo,
please, buy my camp.
1718
01:20:42,990 --> 01:20:45,590
You've got to buy my camp.
1719
01:20:45,691 --> 01:20:46,490
I've got to sell this camp.
1720
01:20:46,590 --> 01:20:49,391
That damned innocent kid.
1721
01:20:49,491 --> 01:20:51,258
I don't have any insurance.
1722
01:20:51,358 --> 01:20:52,059
What am I going to do?
1723
01:20:52,159 --> 01:20:53,158
I see you, Mr. Zitzler.
1724
01:20:56,527 --> 01:20:58,527
Where is my Danny?
1725
01:20:58,627 --> 01:21:02,296
I'm sick and tired of
all this double talk.
1726
01:21:02,396 --> 01:21:05,931
All the other parents
have found their children.
1727
01:21:06,031 --> 01:21:07,131
Where's my Danny?
1728
01:21:07,231 --> 01:21:09,765
Why, Mrs. Anderson, I
was just looking for you.
1729
01:21:09,865 --> 01:21:11,900
My Danny boy is lost.
1730
01:21:12,000 --> 01:21:12,733
He's gone.
1731
01:21:12,833 --> 01:21:13,934
I can't find him anywhere.
1732
01:21:14,033 --> 01:21:15,377
Mrs. Anderson, now, please
get a hold of yourself.
1733
01:21:15,401 --> 01:21:16,844
It becomes very
unsteady on this dock.
1734
01:21:16,868 --> 01:21:19,535
What kind of a dump is this?
1735
01:21:19,635 --> 01:21:20,769
Oh!
1736
01:21:20,869 --> 01:21:24,437
What in the world is that?
1737
01:21:24,537 --> 01:21:29,139
Mr. Zitzler, I couldn't
find Danny's body
1738
01:21:29,239 --> 01:21:32,740
in this part of the lake.
1739
01:21:32,840 --> 01:21:33,540
Danny's body.
1740
01:21:33,640 --> 01:21:36,975
Danny's body?
1741
01:21:37,075 --> 01:21:38,442
Danny's body?
1742
01:21:38,542 --> 01:21:39,910
Oh!
1743
01:21:40,010 --> 01:21:41,410
Danny's body!
1744
01:21:41,510 --> 01:21:43,343
Ahhh!
1745
01:21:44,444 --> 01:21:48,045
Mrs. Anderson, don't move.
1746
01:21:48,145 --> 01:21:48,946
I'll get a lifeguard.
1747
01:21:49,046 --> 01:21:52,047
It'll take about 10 minutes.
1748
01:21:52,147 --> 01:21:56,081
These life guard
costs are killing me.
1749
01:21:56,181 --> 01:21:57,581
I'll do it myself.
1750
01:21:57,682 --> 01:22:00,549
Ah!
1751
01:22:00,649 --> 01:22:01,751
Ah!
1752
01:22:01,851 --> 01:22:04,118
Ah!
1753
01:22:04,218 --> 01:22:05,217
This way.
1754
01:22:05,284 --> 01:22:06,284
Go this way.
1755
01:22:19,690 --> 01:22:23,825
Mr. Zitlzler, you saved my life.
1756
01:22:23,925 --> 01:22:26,226
Yeah, I do hope Danny
will be all right.
1757
01:22:26,326 --> 01:22:27,960
Oh, Danny is all right.
1758
01:22:28,060 --> 01:22:29,760
Danny is insured.
1759
01:22:29,860 --> 01:22:32,394
You have insurance?
1760
01:22:32,494 --> 01:22:33,493
Oh, Mrs. Anderson.
1761
01:22:42,597 --> 01:22:43,798
What happened?
1762
01:22:43,898 --> 01:22:45,766
I don't know.
1763
01:22:45,866 --> 01:22:48,134
Hey do you guys smell anything?
1764
01:22:48,233 --> 01:22:49,567
I think it's fresh air.
1765
01:22:49,667 --> 01:22:52,068
Look, I see daylight.
1766
01:22:52,168 --> 01:22:53,035
There's light coming in.
1767
01:22:53,135 --> 01:22:54,036
Oh, my god.
1768
01:22:54,136 --> 01:22:55,036
You're not kidding, light.
1769
01:22:55,136 --> 01:22:56,036
Get out of here.
1770
01:22:56,136 --> 01:22:57,403
All right.
1771
01:23:22,946 --> 01:23:24,813
What a fucking day.
1772
01:23:53,622 --> 01:23:54,857
I feel different.
1773
01:23:54,957 --> 01:23:58,691
Manny Anderson is no
wacting in pornographic films
1774
01:23:58,792 --> 01:24:01,092
under the name of dicky long.
1775
01:24:01,192 --> 01:24:03,460
He has delighted
millions of moviegoers
1776
01:24:03,560 --> 01:24:05,727
with his unique bulge.
1777
01:24:05,827 --> 01:24:08,495
Good, how you doing, huh?
1778
01:24:08,594 --> 01:24:10,362
Listen, listen,
don't call me stud.
1779
01:24:10,462 --> 01:24:11,463
Call me Mitch, ok.
1780
01:24:11,563 --> 01:24:13,173
Mitch became
a priest and opened
1781
01:24:13,197 --> 01:24:15,230
a parish in San Francisco.
1782
01:24:15,330 --> 01:24:19,832
He is now a spokesman for gay
rights for the celibate clergy.
1783
01:24:19,932 --> 01:24:21,699
Cheesedoodles.
1784
01:24:21,800 --> 01:24:23,868
Henry putz
works for the American.
1785
01:24:23,968 --> 01:24:29,469
Cheese manufacturers association
as commissioner of natural gas.
1786
01:24:29,569 --> 01:24:30,568
They are all yours, kid.
1787
01:24:33,304 --> 01:24:35,537
After eightun
successful marriages
1788
01:24:35,637 --> 01:24:38,605
and the cancellation of her
bloomingdales credit card,
1789
01:24:38,705 --> 01:24:41,573
Annie goldberg suffereda
nervous breakdown
1790
01:24:41,673 --> 01:24:43,307
and became a vegetable.
1791
01:24:43,407 --> 01:24:46,008
She is now living
quietly in Columbus, Ohio
1792
01:24:46,108 --> 01:24:48,676
as a Brussels sprout.
1793
01:24:48,776 --> 01:24:51,410
Michelle farmer pursued
her interest in nature
1794
01:24:51,510 --> 01:24:53,610
and now heads up the
government's program
1795
01:24:53,710 --> 01:24:55,845
for wildlife preservation.
1796
01:24:55,945 --> 01:24:57,345
And fly.
1797
01:24:57,445 --> 01:24:58,846
Fly away!
1798
01:24:58,946 --> 01:25:00,814
Fly away little fish.
1799
01:25:00,914 --> 01:25:01,814
Weee!
112526
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