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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,078 --> 00:00:06,858 Guys, stop what you're doing.I have something to tell you. 2 00:00:06,902 --> 00:00:09,208 Is it bad news? Is it Dad's pacemaker? 3 00:00:09,252 --> 00:00:10,993 Should I sit down or stand up? 4 00:00:11,036 --> 00:00:14,474 Just to be safe, I'm gonna split the difference and lean. 5 00:00:15,671 --> 00:00:18,412 I just heard on the radio that in England, 6 00:00:18,437 --> 00:00:21,885 they call boloney "polony." 7 00:00:23,266 --> 00:00:26,138 I don't like it. It's arrogant. 8 00:00:27,139 --> 00:00:28,584 I got to go to the bank. 9 00:00:28,609 --> 00:00:31,256 Or as they call it in England, the "pank." 10 00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:32,834 We're not doing that, Lowell. 11 00:00:33,170 --> 00:00:35,172 Copy that. 12 00:00:37,062 --> 00:00:38,629 [PHONE CHIMES] 13 00:00:40,718 --> 00:00:42,313 Lowell just got a text. 14 00:00:42,338 --> 00:00:43,715 Hey, come on. That's personal. 15 00:00:43,740 --> 00:00:44,915 Don't read it. 16 00:00:44,940 --> 00:00:45,896 It's from his ex-wife. 17 00:00:45,921 --> 00:00:47,482 Read it. 18 00:00:47,507 --> 00:00:48,505 [HIGH-PITCHED]: "Hey, Lowell..." 19 00:00:48,530 --> 00:00:49,705 Normal voice. 20 00:00:49,988 --> 00:00:52,630 "Hey, Lowell, can we get together for a drink? 21 00:00:52,655 --> 00:00:55,385 It's not about the kids,it's about us." 22 00:00:55,428 --> 00:00:57,909 "Us"? They don't have an us anymore. 23 00:00:57,953 --> 00:00:58,951 What do you think she wants? 24 00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:01,086 Sex. Men and women only drink together 25 00:01:01,130 --> 00:01:03,088 to loosen up for boom-boom time. 26 00:01:03,132 --> 00:01:04,606 This is not good. 27 00:01:04,631 --> 00:01:06,764 Lowell was devastated after she cheated on him. 28 00:01:06,789 --> 00:01:08,591 Look, if he thinks he has another chance with her, 29 00:01:08,615 --> 00:01:09,631 he'll jump at it. 30 00:01:09,656 --> 00:01:11,768 Then she'll break his heart and we'll be knee-deep 31 00:01:11,793 --> 00:01:13,272 in man tears again. 32 00:01:13,316 --> 00:01:15,394 Remember how loud he cries? 33 00:01:15,419 --> 00:01:17,168 It was the worst sound I've ever heard. 34 00:01:17,193 --> 00:01:18,980 And I saw a documentary on a marching band 35 00:01:19,005 --> 00:01:20,615 that got sucked up by a twister. 36 00:01:21,810 --> 00:01:23,333 You know, all the horns. 37 00:01:23,358 --> 00:01:24,794 All right. 38 00:01:24,819 --> 00:01:26,821 O-Okay, let's think about this. Um... 39 00:01:26,846 --> 00:01:29,370 Oh. What if we stop it before it happens? 40 00:01:29,395 --> 00:01:31,566 We'll delete Jen's text, Lowell won't text her back, 41 00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:32,692 the whole thing goes away. 42 00:01:32,717 --> 00:01:34,501 - Let's do it. - Okay. 43 00:01:34,990 --> 00:01:37,716 Uh... I don't know how to do it. 44 00:01:37,741 --> 00:01:40,012 - Right there, that's delete. - Yeah, that deletes the whole chain. 45 00:01:40,036 --> 00:01:41,435 How do you delete just one text? 46 00:01:41,460 --> 00:01:43,955 - I got it. - You're highlighting it. 47 00:01:43,999 --> 00:01:45,522 That's copy and paste. 48 00:01:45,565 --> 00:01:47,002 You just took a picture of us. 49 00:01:47,045 --> 00:01:49,221 [CAR DOOR CLOSES] 50 00:01:50,565 --> 00:01:52,417 Oh, no, he's back. He can't see this text. 51 00:01:52,442 --> 00:01:53,479 - What do we do? - Uh... 52 00:01:53,504 --> 00:01:54,793 Just take it. Take the whole damn phone. 53 00:01:54,817 --> 00:01:55,754 I don't want it. 54 00:01:55,779 --> 00:01:57,346 Just stash it somewhere. 55 00:01:59,488 --> 00:02:01,027 Not there. 56 00:02:01,052 --> 00:02:02,793 - It's all right, we're family. - Come on... 57 00:02:04,903 --> 00:02:06,106 I forgot my phone. 58 00:02:06,131 --> 00:02:08,061 Ah. Right on. 59 00:02:08,501 --> 00:02:10,370 I pulled onto Old Town Road 60 00:02:10,395 --> 00:02:13,270 and asked Siri to play "Old Town Road," like I do. 61 00:02:13,295 --> 00:02:15,614 But when she didn't, I thought she was ignoring me, 62 00:02:15,639 --> 00:02:18,051 so I asked louder and louder until I realized 63 00:02:18,076 --> 00:02:21,166 I didn't have my phone and I was shouting at myself. 64 00:02:21,191 --> 00:02:23,236 If I had a nickel. 65 00:02:23,386 --> 00:02:24,909 - Right? - Yeah. [LAUGHTER] 66 00:02:27,124 --> 00:02:28,865 - [SIGHS] - Huh. 67 00:02:28,890 --> 00:02:31,065 - It's not here. - Hmm. 68 00:02:31,090 --> 00:02:32,503 Well, I hope you're not suggesting 69 00:02:32,528 --> 00:02:34,052 that it's in Adam's pants. 70 00:02:46,294 --> 00:02:47,207 [DOOR OPENS] 71 00:02:47,251 --> 00:02:50,262 Hey. Sorry I'm late for dinner. 72 00:02:50,287 --> 00:02:54,030 Oh, dinner. That's why I came in here. 73 00:02:55,738 --> 00:02:58,236 I stopped by Dad's after work to check on him. 74 00:02:58,261 --> 00:03:00,751 Oh, yeah? How is he adjusting to life with the new pacemaker? 75 00:03:00,776 --> 00:03:03,044 Well, he seemed fine, but I could tell 76 00:03:03,069 --> 00:03:04,399 they were hurrying me out. 77 00:03:04,442 --> 00:03:07,750 Especially when Dad said, "Hurry and get out." 78 00:03:08,428 --> 00:03:10,559 Well, y-you think he's not feeling well 79 00:03:10,584 --> 00:03:11,643 and he's trying to hide it? 80 00:03:11,667 --> 00:03:13,112 Something's going on. 81 00:03:13,137 --> 00:03:15,311 I need to get to the bottom of it. 82 00:03:15,725 --> 00:03:17,254 When's dinner? 83 00:03:17,279 --> 00:03:19,525 I have been down here working on it for hours. 84 00:03:19,588 --> 00:03:21,546 I am only one person. 85 00:03:22,574 --> 00:03:23,557 Uh, hey, 86 00:03:23,582 --> 00:03:25,376 uh, Katie, can you go check on Grandpa? 87 00:03:25,420 --> 00:03:28,379 Snoop around, see how he's doing and report back to me? 88 00:03:28,423 --> 00:03:30,143 - I don't like the idea of spying. - Well... 89 00:03:31,077 --> 00:03:33,515 I'll give you $20. 90 00:03:34,225 --> 00:03:36,428 Okay. I'll do anything for money. 91 00:03:37,826 --> 00:03:40,358 Well, that's comforting to a father. 92 00:03:41,711 --> 00:03:43,553 I'll go after school tomorrow. 93 00:03:46,155 --> 00:03:47,122 ANDI:Uh... 94 00:03:47,147 --> 00:03:48,667 W-Why do you have an extra cell phone? 95 00:03:48,704 --> 00:03:50,532 [GASPS] Oh. 96 00:03:50,575 --> 00:03:53,713 Is it a burner for your secret second family? 97 00:03:55,504 --> 00:03:57,659 Yeah. Is that gonna be a problem? 98 00:03:59,279 --> 00:04:01,369 No, but... 99 00:04:01,412 --> 00:04:03,408 maybe you could fill up your other wife's DVR 100 00:04:03,433 --> 00:04:05,416 with Finding Bigfoot. 101 00:04:05,460 --> 00:04:07,157 [CHUCKLES] 102 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:08,667 This is Lowell's phone. 103 00:04:08,692 --> 00:04:10,900 Jen texted him that she wanted to meet for a drink. 104 00:04:10,943 --> 00:04:12,530 Well, I didn't want him to see it and be tempted 105 00:04:12,554 --> 00:04:13,944 to get back together with her. 106 00:04:13,969 --> 00:04:15,202 So you stole his phone? 107 00:04:15,227 --> 00:04:17,385 Well, we tried to delete just the one text, 108 00:04:17,428 --> 00:04:20,053 but I think you can only do that from Apple headquarters. 109 00:04:21,951 --> 00:04:24,914 Yeah. Look, you got to give Lowell his phone back. 110 00:04:24,939 --> 00:04:27,184 All right? If you're concerned for your friend, 111 00:04:27,209 --> 00:04:29,701 just tell him you're worried because you care about him. 112 00:04:29,745 --> 00:04:31,442 That's not how we do it. 113 00:04:32,607 --> 00:04:35,011 I steal his phone. That's how we do it. 114 00:04:35,552 --> 00:04:39,015 Look, I agree with you, Jen is terrible for him. 115 00:04:39,058 --> 00:04:40,799 Okay? But Lowell's a grown man. 116 00:04:40,843 --> 00:04:43,062 You need to let him make his own choices. 117 00:04:44,107 --> 00:04:46,631 I'm a grown man. 118 00:04:46,675 --> 00:04:49,547 You don't let me make my own choices. 119 00:04:49,591 --> 00:04:51,636 [CHUCKLES]: Honey, give Lowell his phone back. 120 00:04:53,290 --> 00:04:54,770 You know, I don't have these problems 121 00:04:54,813 --> 00:04:57,294 with my secret second family. 122 00:04:57,337 --> 00:04:59,688 I'm the boss over there. 123 00:05:02,517 --> 00:05:04,382 When's Lowell getting here? 124 00:05:04,407 --> 00:05:07,758 I'm pulling up his location on Find My Friends. 125 00:05:08,423 --> 00:05:09,686 He's in the living room! 126 00:05:11,366 --> 00:05:13,225 Oh, that's right.We have his phone. 127 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:16,358 I still think it's a mistake to give this back. 128 00:05:16,383 --> 00:05:18,465 I know how to get rid of it. Give it to one of the kids 129 00:05:18,489 --> 00:05:20,729 and tell them, "Don't lose it."We'll never see it again. 130 00:05:22,731 --> 00:05:25,059 Why didn't you guys just delete the text? 131 00:05:25,084 --> 00:05:28,000 It can't be done. We don't work for NASA, Marcy. 132 00:05:28,465 --> 00:05:30,832 It's two steps: edit, delete. 133 00:05:30,857 --> 00:05:34,426 I know because I deleted all of Don's texts about polony. 134 00:05:35,941 --> 00:05:38,944 It's what the British people call boloney. 135 00:05:39,128 --> 00:05:42,610 I don't like it. It's arrogant. 136 00:05:43,558 --> 00:05:45,690 You and I are so made for each other. 137 00:05:45,734 --> 00:05:47,170 [DOOR OPENS] 138 00:05:47,614 --> 00:05:49,059 - Hey, what's up? - Hey, Lowell. 139 00:05:49,084 --> 00:05:51,304 - Uh, have a seat. - I can't stay long. 140 00:05:51,348 --> 00:05:54,279 I'm meeting a guy who responded to my lost phone flyer. 141 00:05:54,304 --> 00:05:56,572 He said to meet him in an alley and to wear a tank top 142 00:05:56,597 --> 00:05:58,904 and gym shorts so he knows it's me. 143 00:06:00,940 --> 00:06:04,292 Uh-huh. In the future, maybe run that stuff by us, okay? 144 00:06:04,317 --> 00:06:06,798 Yeah. Uh, so,Lowell, um, 145 00:06:06,842 --> 00:06:09,671 how are you feeling about your ex-wife these days? 146 00:06:09,714 --> 00:06:11,215 I'm finally in a good place. 147 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:13,547 I haven't hacked into her e-mail in months. 148 00:06:15,111 --> 00:06:16,863 You broke into her e-mail? 149 00:06:16,888 --> 00:06:20,551 Yeah, I have Jen's password, and every night after the divorce, 150 00:06:20,595 --> 00:06:24,433 I would curl up in her old sweatshirt and read her inbox. 151 00:06:25,847 --> 00:06:29,299 That sounded sexy, but I know it's sad. 152 00:06:29,808 --> 00:06:31,693 But you're over her now? 153 00:06:31,736 --> 00:06:33,659 Totally and completely. 154 00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:37,046 Okay, well, then, I guess you can have your phone back. 155 00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:39,004 Don took it. 156 00:06:39,551 --> 00:06:40,726 Yeah. 157 00:06:40,751 --> 00:06:42,359 Because-because Jen texted you, 158 00:06:42,384 --> 00:06:43,744 and we didn't want you to overreact. 159 00:06:43,768 --> 00:06:45,247 Oh, that's no big deal.We text each other 160 00:06:45,271 --> 00:06:48,219 all the time about the kids... A drink?! 161 00:06:49,408 --> 00:06:50,671 She wants to get a drink. 162 00:06:50,696 --> 00:06:52,844 Okay, hold on, hold on,don't get too excited. 163 00:06:52,888 --> 00:06:54,935 We're getting back together.Jump up and down with me. 164 00:06:54,959 --> 00:06:58,328 Oh. Yeah, no... uh, Lowell, I-I'm wearing the wrong bra. 165 00:06:58,371 --> 00:07:01,331 Yeah. No jumping, no... I thought you said you were over her. 166 00:07:01,374 --> 00:07:02,941 That was when she didn't want me back. 167 00:07:02,985 --> 00:07:04,203 Now she wants me back. 168 00:07:04,247 --> 00:07:06,641 I'm back! 169 00:07:06,684 --> 00:07:08,207 I'm answering her. 170 00:07:08,251 --> 00:07:10,209 - "Where and when?" - ANDI: Okay... 171 00:07:10,253 --> 00:07:12,384 [SIGHS] Lowell, just because Jen wants a one-nighter 172 00:07:12,409 --> 00:07:13,721 doesn't mean that she wants to get back together. 173 00:07:13,745 --> 00:07:14,866 That's right, Andi.Tell him. 174 00:07:14,910 --> 00:07:17,176 Yeah, well, she could just be using you. 175 00:07:17,201 --> 00:07:20,221 I mean, ladies like cheap sex, too. 176 00:07:21,794 --> 00:07:23,701 Well, don't lie to him. 177 00:07:23,745 --> 00:07:25,311 [PHONE CHIMES] 178 00:07:25,355 --> 00:07:26,748 [GASPS] She answered. 179 00:07:26,791 --> 00:07:29,098 "I'm staying at the Bainbridge Hotel this weekend. 180 00:07:29,141 --> 00:07:31,147 Let's get a drink tomorrow." 181 00:07:31,172 --> 00:07:33,145 She definitely wants me back. 182 00:07:33,189 --> 00:07:34,538 What? How do you figure? 183 00:07:34,582 --> 00:07:36,081 The Bainbridge is where we had our first date. 184 00:07:36,105 --> 00:07:39,297 It's the most romantic spot in our pantheon of love. 185 00:07:39,322 --> 00:07:42,459 Mm-hmm. Does your pantheon have a cheater's basement? 186 00:07:42,502 --> 00:07:43,460 Huh? 187 00:07:43,503 --> 00:07:44,549 'Cause she really steamed up 188 00:07:44,573 --> 00:07:46,097 the windows down there. 189 00:07:47,203 --> 00:07:50,162 That's true. She's put you through a lot of polony. 190 00:07:50,206 --> 00:07:51,686 [ALL] No. 191 00:07:51,729 --> 00:07:53,992 Okay, okay. 192 00:07:54,036 --> 00:07:56,212 Why would Jen be staying at the Bainbridge tonight 193 00:07:56,255 --> 00:07:57,517 if she's meeting you tomorrow? 194 00:07:57,561 --> 00:07:59,441 That's a great question, Andi. 195 00:07:59,466 --> 00:08:01,645 Doesn't make any sense. 196 00:08:01,670 --> 00:08:04,385 Unless she's preparing our love nest. 197 00:08:04,410 --> 00:08:06,385 She probably wants me to stay over tomorrow. 198 00:08:06,410 --> 00:08:07,582 I should pack a bag. 199 00:08:07,607 --> 00:08:10,288 [STAMMERING] Wait. Lowell, you're making a big mistake. 200 00:08:10,313 --> 00:08:12,628 You're right.Play it cool. 201 00:08:12,653 --> 00:08:15,265 I'll wear two pairs of underwear just to be safe. 202 00:08:16,362 --> 00:08:18,451 One dressy, one everyday. 203 00:08:21,237 --> 00:08:22,847 He's in for a world of hurt. 204 00:08:22,891 --> 00:08:25,067 Well, there's got to be something we can do. 205 00:08:25,110 --> 00:08:26,459 Well, there was. 206 00:08:26,503 --> 00:08:28,244 Not give him back his phone. 207 00:08:28,997 --> 00:08:31,043 All right, nobody likes that guy. 208 00:08:31,900 --> 00:08:33,853 Okay, uh...ooh, all right. 209 00:08:33,878 --> 00:08:35,830 Don and I will go down to the Bainbridge 210 00:08:35,855 --> 00:08:37,533 to talk to Jen and find out her intentions. 211 00:08:37,557 --> 00:08:39,222 If she's just toying with Lowell, 212 00:08:39,247 --> 00:08:40,814 we'll tell her to leave him alone. 213 00:08:40,839 --> 00:08:43,580 - Oh. You guys are doing a good thing. - MARCY: Yeah. 214 00:08:43,605 --> 00:08:45,890 Yeah.I just wish we didn't have to go to the Bainbridge to do it. 215 00:08:45,914 --> 00:08:48,351 - They charge ten bucks for parking. - Oh. I tell you what. 216 00:08:48,394 --> 00:08:50,425 If you drive,I'll let you pay for parking. 217 00:08:51,901 --> 00:08:53,095 That sounds fair. 218 00:08:54,730 --> 00:08:56,592 Wait a minute. 219 00:08:57,303 --> 00:08:59,348 - No. That's right. - Yeah. 220 00:09:02,179 --> 00:09:04,181 Hello? 221 00:09:07,495 --> 00:09:08,719 Grandpa? 222 00:09:08,763 --> 00:09:10,765 Is everybody okay? 223 00:09:14,043 --> 00:09:16,567 JOE: Bev, if you're gonna talk dirty, talk louder. 224 00:09:16,592 --> 00:09:18,594 You know I don't hear too good. 225 00:09:28,288 --> 00:09:29,857 MAN: Welcome to the Bainbridge Hotel. 226 00:09:29,882 --> 00:09:30,827 - May I help you? - Yeah. 227 00:09:30,852 --> 00:09:33,427 We're looking for a guest staying here... Jen Franklin. 228 00:09:33,452 --> 00:09:36,355 Ms. Franklin's bachelorette party is in the hotel bar. 229 00:09:36,399 --> 00:09:37,911 Bachelorette party? 230 00:09:37,936 --> 00:09:39,997 Well, Jen's getting married? 231 00:09:40,022 --> 00:09:42,448 By any chance, is she marrying a guy named Lowell? 232 00:09:44,069 --> 00:09:45,369 What kind of person has 233 00:09:45,394 --> 00:09:46,994 their ex meet her where they had their first date 234 00:09:47,018 --> 00:09:48,256 to tell him she's marrying another guy? 235 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:50,457 I'm giving Jen a piece of my mind. 236 00:09:50,482 --> 00:09:51,783 Ask if they validate parking. 237 00:09:51,808 --> 00:09:53,104 Aah. 238 00:09:55,331 --> 00:09:56,811 We're looking for Jen Franklin. 239 00:09:56,854 --> 00:09:59,422 - [GASPS] The strippers are here! - Oh! 240 00:09:59,994 --> 00:10:01,554 We're not strippers. 241 00:10:01,598 --> 00:10:04,253 Hold on. Let's see how this plays out. 242 00:10:04,897 --> 00:10:06,389 You guys can't start the show 243 00:10:06,414 --> 00:10:08,068 till Jen comes down from her room. 244 00:10:08,511 --> 00:10:11,296 Did you use a Groupon? 245 00:10:12,132 --> 00:10:15,085 Groupon? Hey, I did not come here to get my feelings hurt. 246 00:10:15,110 --> 00:10:17,460 And if I was a stripper, you'd be paying full price. 247 00:10:17,764 --> 00:10:19,983 Let's go, Don. 248 00:10:20,218 --> 00:10:23,351 You just talked yourself out of the full Monty, lady. 249 00:10:27,568 --> 00:10:30,804 So not only does Jen not want to get back together with Lowell, 250 00:10:30,829 --> 00:10:32,374 she's marrying someone else. 251 00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:34,053 I can't believe that. 252 00:10:34,097 --> 00:10:37,563 And in sexier news, Adam and I were mistaken for strippers. 253 00:10:41,780 --> 00:10:43,652 I believe that. 254 00:10:44,450 --> 00:10:46,278 Thanks, baby. 255 00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:53,569 You're awfully quiet over there, Andi. 256 00:10:54,560 --> 00:10:57,308 Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, you can shake your moneymaker. 257 00:10:57,333 --> 00:11:00,807 Look, I-I just...I'm worried about Lowell. 258 00:11:00,832 --> 00:11:02,473 I mean, he's not gonna take this well. 259 00:11:02,516 --> 00:11:05,023 Which is exactly why I stole his phone to begin with. 260 00:11:05,227 --> 00:11:07,851 All right, so we'll tell Lowell the news, and then... 261 00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:09,203 you will make him feel better 262 00:11:09,228 --> 00:11:11,699 by telling him how much he means to you as a friend. 263 00:11:11,946 --> 00:11:13,954 [LAUGHS] I'm not doing that. 264 00:11:15,134 --> 00:11:17,445 Men don't talk about feelings. 265 00:11:17,470 --> 00:11:19,595 Lowell tells you how he feels about you all the time. 266 00:11:19,620 --> 00:11:21,492 Yeah, and it's really uncomfortable. 267 00:11:22,454 --> 00:11:24,448 I wish he'd steal my phone instead. 268 00:11:24,473 --> 00:11:25,865 [DOOR OPENS] 269 00:11:27,329 --> 00:11:28,859 ADAM:Hey, Katie. 270 00:11:28,884 --> 00:11:30,694 - How was Grandpa? - I don't want to talk about it. 271 00:11:30,718 --> 00:11:32,218 Whoa, wait, what-what... what did you... 272 00:11:32,242 --> 00:11:33,983 what did you find out? 273 00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:36,479 That you might have a little brother coming soon. 274 00:11:43,019 --> 00:11:45,805 So, Lowell, we have something to tell you, 275 00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:48,225 and there... there's no easy way to say it. 276 00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:50,470 So... Marcy, say it. 277 00:11:54,830 --> 00:11:56,405 - Thank you, Andi. - Yeah. 278 00:11:56,430 --> 00:11:57,901 Lowell, 279 00:11:57,926 --> 00:12:00,929 today we found out... Andi, you finish. 280 00:12:02,327 --> 00:12:05,548 That Jen... back to you, Marcy. 281 00:12:06,487 --> 00:12:08,576 - Is... Andi? - Getting... Marcy? 282 00:12:08,601 --> 00:12:09,888 M... 283 00:12:09,932 --> 00:12:11,150 Andi? 284 00:12:11,194 --> 00:12:13,196 Oh, for crying out loud. Lowell... 285 00:12:13,541 --> 00:12:15,440 Jen's getting married again. 286 00:12:15,713 --> 00:12:16,704 What? 287 00:12:16,729 --> 00:12:19,468 We're sorry that you had to hear it from us. 288 00:12:19,493 --> 00:12:20,874 Who is she marrying? 289 00:12:20,899 --> 00:12:22,299 I looked up her wedding registry... 290 00:12:22,335 --> 00:12:24,336 It's some guy named Ira Stone. 291 00:12:24,361 --> 00:12:26,041 Ira Stone? 292 00:12:26,066 --> 00:12:28,285 He was my divorce lawyer. 293 00:12:29,388 --> 00:12:31,825 I bet that's why she got all your money. 294 00:12:34,486 --> 00:12:36,749 What? Someone already said that? 295 00:12:38,650 --> 00:12:40,614 Why am I the one who always gets hurt? 296 00:12:40,658 --> 00:12:42,703 When's it gonna be her turn to cry so loud 297 00:12:42,728 --> 00:12:44,675 the neighbors call the police because they think a cat 298 00:12:44,699 --> 00:12:45,961 is stuck in the wall? 299 00:12:48,176 --> 00:12:50,807 Oh, Lowell, I know it's hard,but-but we're here for you. 300 00:12:50,832 --> 00:12:53,149 Yeah. We'll help you rise above. 301 00:12:53,192 --> 00:12:55,791 Or... we can help you sink below. 302 00:12:56,527 --> 00:12:59,129 You don't always have to be on the losing end. 303 00:12:59,285 --> 00:13:01,088 You may not be able to get her back, 304 00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:02,941 but you can get her back. 305 00:13:03,133 --> 00:13:04,917 You just said the same thing twice. 306 00:13:07,057 --> 00:13:09,885 Adam is talking about the dish best served cold. 307 00:13:11,449 --> 00:13:13,234 Jell-O? 308 00:13:14,993 --> 00:13:16,259 Revenge, Don. 309 00:13:16,302 --> 00:13:17,608 I'm talking about revenge. 310 00:13:19,174 --> 00:13:20,219 What do you think? 311 00:13:20,263 --> 00:13:21,481 Let's do it. 312 00:13:21,516 --> 00:13:22,647 - Nice! - All right!Attaboy! 313 00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:24,093 All right,let's get to work. 314 00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:26,269 You have Jen's e-mail password... there's got to be 315 00:13:26,312 --> 00:13:28,406 some part of her life we can screw up. 316 00:13:28,431 --> 00:13:30,216 You bet your bippy there is. 317 00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:33,493 I'll go home and get the password. 318 00:13:33,537 --> 00:13:36,233 One quick cry in her sweatshirt,and I'll be back. 319 00:13:39,412 --> 00:13:40,631 [DOOR OPENS] 320 00:13:42,807 --> 00:13:44,584 I found Kate's purse at our place. 321 00:13:44,609 --> 00:13:46,115 I guess she left it there when... 322 00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:48,073 well, you know. 323 00:13:49,109 --> 00:13:50,475 What? I don't know. 324 00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:53,078 She caught your father and me in a compromising position. 325 00:13:53,122 --> 00:13:55,014 - [GASPS] - Or positions. 326 00:13:55,039 --> 00:13:57,912 I'm not sure how long she was standing there. 327 00:13:58,899 --> 00:14:01,380 Ma, don't say"positions" to me. 328 00:14:02,751 --> 00:14:04,147 Poor Katie. 329 00:14:04,172 --> 00:14:07,179 No wonder she was asking to go to church. 330 00:14:08,290 --> 00:14:10,733 Your father's new pacemaker has had some side effects. 331 00:14:10,758 --> 00:14:12,164 It's made him very randy. 332 00:14:12,189 --> 00:14:14,529 Okay, thanks for stopping by. 333 00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:16,372 I mean, he's like a new man. 334 00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:19,182 We haven't done some of that stuff since Nixon. 335 00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:22,027 Seriously, you have to stop talking 336 00:14:22,064 --> 00:14:24,109 before this whole house turns to ash. 337 00:14:24,134 --> 00:14:26,024 Wait. I need a favor. 338 00:14:26,068 --> 00:14:28,652 Ask your dad to turn down his pacemaker. 339 00:14:28,677 --> 00:14:30,375 A little. Nothing dangerous. 340 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:33,118 I just need time to run a few errands. 341 00:14:34,134 --> 00:14:36,951 Fine. I can't do it right now.I'm in the middle of something. 342 00:14:36,976 --> 00:14:38,283 Okay. Make it soon. 343 00:14:38,308 --> 00:14:41,485 I haven't finished a crossword in a week... they're piling up. 344 00:14:44,836 --> 00:14:46,133 What'd your mom want? 345 00:14:46,158 --> 00:14:47,985 To ruin my day. 346 00:14:49,178 --> 00:14:50,962 Did you get Jen's password? 347 00:14:51,006 --> 00:14:52,181 Yep. Here you go. 348 00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:53,530 Okay. 349 00:14:53,573 --> 00:14:55,271 You had to write this down? 350 00:14:55,314 --> 00:14:58,056 Well, it's just a random jumble of letters and numbers. 351 00:14:58,100 --> 00:15:01,115 Lowell, it's "Down2play24-7." 352 00:15:02,521 --> 00:15:05,237 I said it's random. 353 00:15:06,794 --> 00:15:08,840 Okay, honey, sure. 354 00:15:09,372 --> 00:15:12,221 Uh, okay, I opened Jen's e-mail. 355 00:15:12,246 --> 00:15:15,214 Look, she used a travel website to plan her honeymoon. 356 00:15:15,239 --> 00:15:16,857 Flight, hotel. 357 00:15:16,901 --> 00:15:19,991 It is perfectly bundled for revenge. 358 00:15:20,035 --> 00:15:23,746 - It says "click link to access itinerary." - Mm-hmm. 359 00:15:23,771 --> 00:15:26,372 It wants us to do it. It doesn't like her, either. 360 00:15:28,297 --> 00:15:29,341 We're in! 361 00:15:29,366 --> 00:15:31,150 Ah! I've always wanted to say that. 362 00:15:32,497 --> 00:15:35,521 Jen booked two business class tickets to Hawaii. 363 00:15:35,546 --> 00:15:38,484 Lowell, what do you want to do about that? 364 00:15:38,765 --> 00:15:41,699 I say let's move her to the back... 365 00:15:41,724 --> 00:15:44,248 - Yeah. - of business class. 366 00:15:45,016 --> 00:15:46,140 That way, 367 00:15:46,165 --> 00:15:48,367 when they pass out the freshly baked cookies, 368 00:15:48,411 --> 00:15:51,849 they won't be hot anymore,they'll just be warm. 369 00:15:53,852 --> 00:15:55,350 Uh, okay, 370 00:15:55,375 --> 00:15:57,376 you got to dial it up a little, Lowell. 371 00:15:57,906 --> 00:16:00,137 All right? Honey, move Jen to the back of the plane 372 00:16:00,162 --> 00:16:01,566 next to the bathroom, huh? 373 00:16:01,591 --> 00:16:03,426 She put you in a crappy situation. 374 00:16:03,469 --> 00:16:06,081 We're gonna do the same thing to her. 375 00:16:06,124 --> 00:16:07,386 MARCY: Oh. 376 00:16:07,430 --> 00:16:10,868 Click "modify hotel reservation." 377 00:16:10,893 --> 00:16:13,131 Beachfront room?I don't think so. 378 00:16:13,175 --> 00:16:15,699 Unless we fill it with scorpions. 379 00:16:18,807 --> 00:16:20,965 Okay, now dial it down a little. 380 00:16:21,008 --> 00:16:22,793 Huh? 381 00:16:23,213 --> 00:16:25,479 Okay, what's the worst room in a hotel? 382 00:16:25,504 --> 00:16:27,458 Ground floor,parking lot view. 383 00:16:27,483 --> 00:16:29,278 It's what we always get. 384 00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:31,631 I don't need an ocean view when I got a Marcy view. 385 00:16:31,656 --> 00:16:34,824 Aw. That's sweet. I thought you were just cheap. 386 00:16:34,849 --> 00:16:36,416 [CHUCKLES]: It's a little of both. 387 00:16:38,468 --> 00:16:40,146 Okay. All set. 388 00:16:40,171 --> 00:16:43,632 The only thing left to do is hit "confirm changes." 389 00:16:43,671 --> 00:16:45,244 You do the honors. 390 00:16:45,269 --> 00:16:46,835 [CHUCKLES] 391 00:16:48,601 --> 00:16:50,168 I don't know. 392 00:16:50,212 --> 00:16:51,677 What-what-what don't you know? 393 00:16:51,702 --> 00:16:53,824 Well, maybe I should leave the door open with Jen. 394 00:16:53,867 --> 00:16:56,914 Yeah, she's marrying another man, but she cheated on me. 395 00:16:56,957 --> 00:16:59,006 She could cheat on him with me. 396 00:16:59,031 --> 00:17:00,119 [GROANS] 397 00:17:02,050 --> 00:17:04,181 Have you learned nothing from this, Lowell? 398 00:17:04,206 --> 00:17:06,576 Jen is a horrible person. 399 00:17:06,619 --> 00:17:09,017 She's marrying your divorce lawyer. 400 00:17:09,042 --> 00:17:11,233 The guy you paid to sue her pants off 401 00:17:11,276 --> 00:17:12,886 took her pants off! 402 00:17:13,845 --> 00:17:16,445 Look, I have spent the last year watching you suffer. 403 00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:17,429 I won't do it again. 404 00:17:17,454 --> 00:17:19,554 I know, I know. Because I wasn't productive at work. 405 00:17:19,579 --> 00:17:21,156 No. I mean yes. 406 00:17:21,191 --> 00:17:22,102 But no. 407 00:17:22,127 --> 00:17:25,718 No. You just keep letting her take advantage of you, Lowell, 408 00:17:25,743 --> 00:17:27,336 and I can't stand it! 409 00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:29,903 Okay? I care about you. You are part of this family, 410 00:17:29,947 --> 00:17:32,341 and damn it, we love you! 411 00:17:34,806 --> 00:17:37,031 Aw. You did it. [CHUCKLES] 412 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:40,218 You yelled it, but you did it. 413 00:17:40,262 --> 00:17:43,352 Stand up for yourself and push that button. 414 00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:48,183 I don't need to. 415 00:17:50,001 --> 00:17:52,143 I think I held onto the idea of Jen 416 00:17:52,187 --> 00:17:55,059 because I was afraid I'd end up alone. 417 00:17:55,468 --> 00:17:59,385 But then you screamed at me from the heart. 418 00:18:00,107 --> 00:18:01,749 Now I know I can... 419 00:18:01,774 --> 00:18:03,459 let her go, because... 420 00:18:03,502 --> 00:18:04,808 I have you guys. 421 00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:06,157 - Aw... - Oh... 422 00:18:06,201 --> 00:18:08,507 That's weird.Press the button. 423 00:18:09,164 --> 00:18:11,075 Do it. Press it. 424 00:18:12,903 --> 00:18:15,709 No, okay? We are proud of him, 425 00:18:15,734 --> 00:18:18,430 and Don and I are taking you out to dinner to celebrate. 426 00:18:18,883 --> 00:18:20,406 That's right,but you're gonna have to pay, 427 00:18:20,430 --> 00:18:23,042 because I have no idea where I left my wallet. 428 00:18:24,784 --> 00:18:26,758 [DOOR CLOSES] 429 00:18:28,385 --> 00:18:29,735 Thanks, Adam. 430 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:33,271 Oh. Well, all right. 431 00:18:34,675 --> 00:18:36,372 You see what you started? 432 00:18:45,623 --> 00:18:47,712 Okay, let go, Lowell. 433 00:18:49,635 --> 00:18:52,638 My arms did,but my heart never will. 434 00:18:59,411 --> 00:19:00,934 Who talks like that? 435 00:19:03,289 --> 00:19:04,563 - You love him. - [STAMMERS] 436 00:19:04,607 --> 00:19:05,782 [CHUCKLES] 437 00:19:06,133 --> 00:19:09,089 And I love when you show your sensitive side. 438 00:19:09,727 --> 00:19:11,440 I think it's hot. 439 00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:14,617 Well, that's why I like you more than my secret second wife. 440 00:19:14,660 --> 00:19:15,618 Ah. 441 00:19:15,661 --> 00:19:17,228 [BOTH LAUGHING] 442 00:19:18,478 --> 00:19:22,059 Why can't any of you keep your hands off each other?! 443 00:19:24,099 --> 00:19:25,317 [GROANS] 444 00:19:26,140 --> 00:19:27,502 Let's take this upstairs. 445 00:19:27,527 --> 00:19:29,629 Absolutely. Right behind you. 446 00:19:29,654 --> 00:19:31,743 Oh, uh, just got to do one thing. 447 00:19:32,497 --> 00:19:34,182 "Confirm changes." 448 00:19:35,301 --> 00:19:37,727 That's for you and your rude friends. 449 00:19:37,770 --> 00:19:39,772 "Groupon." Huh! 450 00:19:47,192 --> 00:19:48,340 Dad? 451 00:19:50,052 --> 00:19:51,575 Mom? 452 00:19:52,982 --> 00:19:55,301 This is as far as I'm coming in. 453 00:19:58,916 --> 00:20:00,309 Hello? 454 00:20:01,483 --> 00:20:03,485 I'm inside the house! 455 00:20:04,506 --> 00:20:06,837 It's okay. You-you don't have to talk to Dad. 456 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:08,621 I doubled up on my B12s. 457 00:20:08,665 --> 00:20:10,536 Everything's hunky-dory. 458 00:20:11,123 --> 00:20:12,185 Run along, boy. 459 00:20:12,210 --> 00:20:14,167 This is grown-up time. 460 00:20:17,084 --> 00:20:19,153 I'm never coming back here again. 461 00:20:19,512 --> 00:20:21,012 Synced and corrected by Octavia - www.addic7ed.com - 33412

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