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1
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- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
2
00:00:09,531 --> 00:00:14,797
Wow. I can't believe you
sleep in a bed every night.
3
00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:19,845
Ooh, a girl could really get
used to this pillow business.
4
00:00:19,889 --> 00:00:21,630
Yep, I could've used one.
5
00:00:21,673 --> 00:00:24,024
God, hey, would you mind
6
00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:25,982
rubbing this knot in my shoulder, Nancy?
7
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,853
Hey, hey, hey.
8
00:00:27,897 --> 00:00:29,246
You know the rules.
9
00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:31,118
This is a fake relationship,
10
00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:34,817
so I am not rubbing
any of your man parts.
11
00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:37,080
I mean, technically,
everyone has shoulders.
12
00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:38,995
Ooh, now how about we head downstairs
13
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:42,012
and get that living
butler to make us something
14
00:00:42,013 --> 00:00:43,434
to smell for breakfast?
15
00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:44,522
You mean Sam?
16
00:00:44,566 --> 00:00:46,176
She's actually a writer
17
00:00:46,220 --> 00:00:47,873
and a small business
owner, she's not our butler.
18
00:00:47,917 --> 00:00:50,093
Oh, okay, okay.
19
00:00:50,137 --> 00:00:51,921
Too good to be a butler.
20
00:00:51,964 --> 00:00:54,706
You know, when I was alive,
women couldn't even be a butler.
21
00:00:54,750 --> 00:00:57,318
You could be a wench,
a midwife or a whore.
22
00:00:57,361 --> 00:01:00,103
Oh, well, that's not something
23
00:01:00,147 --> 00:01:02,497
I feel particularly
compelled to follow up on.
24
00:01:13,203 --> 00:01:15,988
Oh, that's Bela. She'll
be here in an hour.
25
00:01:16,032 --> 00:01:20,254
And now you'll probably explain to
a room full of ghosts who Bela is.
26
00:01:20,297 --> 00:01:22,691
I mean, was curious, yes.
27
00:01:22,734 --> 00:01:23,996
Bela's Jay's sister.
28
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:25,389
She lives in Boston,
she's coming to visit.
29
00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:27,261
- Oh.
- Oh, must be nice.
30
00:01:27,304 --> 00:01:29,567
All my sisters died
before the age of two.
31
00:01:29,611 --> 00:01:32,179
Damn, Isaac, we ain't even
smelled our morning coffee yet.
32
00:01:32,222 --> 00:01:34,268
Bela's boyfriend broke
up with her last week,
33
00:01:34,311 --> 00:01:36,139
so she's coming to
stay to clear her head.
34
00:01:36,183 --> 00:01:38,054
How is she doing now, Jay?
35
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,665
I talked to her a few days ago,
and she's still really down.
36
00:01:40,709 --> 00:01:42,624
- Oh, that's great.
- Excuse me?
37
00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:44,147
No, I mean, it's awful.
38
00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:45,801
It's just, you know,
39
00:01:45,844 --> 00:01:47,933
I excel in helping
girlfriends get over breakups.
40
00:01:47,977 --> 00:01:50,371
I hope she really likes the
Legally Blonde franchise,
41
00:01:50,414 --> 00:01:52,460
'cause that is gonna be a
big part of her next 48 hours.
42
00:01:52,503 --> 00:01:55,767
Okay, let's just try
not to act too excited.
43
00:01:55,811 --> 00:01:57,247
Sorry, sorry.
44
00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:58,379
It's just, I thought
this could be a chance
45
00:01:58,422 --> 00:01:59,989
for she and I to finally bond.
46
00:02:00,032 --> 00:02:01,904
Look, I don't have siblings,
47
00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:04,254
so when you and I got
married, I thought Bela and I
48
00:02:04,298 --> 00:02:06,604
could become sisters,
but that hasn't happened.
49
00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:08,171
Excuse me,
50
00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:10,608
but in what room will
this Bela be sleeping?
51
00:02:10,652 --> 00:02:12,828
Oh, right. Well, I guess one of you guys
52
00:02:12,871 --> 00:02:14,438
will have to give up
your room for the weekend.
53
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:17,702
- Sorry.
- Okay.
54
00:02:17,746 --> 00:02:19,878
I have plan.
55
00:02:19,922 --> 00:02:21,576
Thor, we can't kill Bela.
56
00:02:21,619 --> 00:02:23,795
It's not what I was
57
00:02:23,839 --> 00:02:25,580
going to say, but, uh,
58
00:02:25,623 --> 00:02:29,061
give Thor a moment to think
of what I was going to say.
59
00:02:29,105 --> 00:02:31,412
Not kill.
60
00:02:31,455 --> 00:02:33,196
Troops,
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00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,024
Samantha has informed us that
one of us will be required
62
00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:37,896
to forfeit our rooms.
63
00:02:37,940 --> 00:02:39,115
Can't the sister just
take the empty bedroom?
64
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,551
We offered that,
65
00:02:40,595 --> 00:02:43,163
but Samantha is aware of
the mold and the draft.
66
00:02:43,206 --> 00:02:45,208
You got to sell the view. When
I was pushing penny stocks,
67
00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:46,731
you think I emphasized the risk?
68
00:02:46,775 --> 00:02:48,516
No, you shine that turd.
69
00:02:48,559 --> 00:02:49,865
I call not it.
70
00:02:49,908 --> 00:02:51,388
Is unbreakable oath.
71
00:02:51,432 --> 00:02:53,260
Oh, please, that is how
children make decisions.
72
00:02:53,303 --> 00:02:54,957
But also, not it.
73
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,002
Trevor is the most recently
dead, let him take it.
74
00:02:57,046 --> 00:02:59,527
Ooh, that's how we divvied
things up in the first place.
75
00:02:59,570 --> 00:03:02,747
This time we do it in
reverse order of seniority.
76
00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:05,663
Thor not like this. This
is bad outcome for Thor.
77
00:03:09,928 --> 00:03:11,365
The sanctity of my room will not be...
78
00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:12,844
Hey! Hey! Guys!
79
00:03:12,888 --> 00:03:14,846
I can't stand to watch you fight.
80
00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:16,326
- I will take the room.
- Oh.
81
00:03:16,370 --> 00:03:18,067
- You sure, Pete?
- Yeah. You know,
82
00:03:18,110 --> 00:03:19,242
a little mold never hurt anybody.
83
00:03:19,286 --> 00:03:20,461
It'll be like camping.
84
00:03:20,504 --> 00:03:22,289
Then it's settled. Thank you, Pete,
85
00:03:22,332 --> 00:03:23,551
for your sacrifice, and for your sake,
86
00:03:23,594 --> 00:03:25,117
I hope that the rain holds out
87
00:03:25,161 --> 00:03:26,293
so you don't have to
deal with that pesky leak.
88
00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:28,164
Uh? Oh, sorry,
89
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,992
the-the... there's a leak in there now?
90
00:03:30,035 --> 00:03:31,689
Be even more like camping.
91
00:03:31,733 --> 00:03:32,995
- True.
- Nature.
92
00:03:33,038 --> 00:03:35,954
Nature. Yay!
93
00:03:40,076 --> 00:03:41,512
Okay, that must be her.
94
00:03:41,556 --> 00:03:43,993
Let the girl bonding begin.
95
00:03:46,256 --> 00:03:48,432
LL Uncool Jay.
96
00:03:48,476 --> 00:03:49,520
'Cause that never gets old.
97
00:03:49,564 --> 00:03:51,174
Hey.
98
00:03:51,218 --> 00:03:53,785
- Hey.
- Hey, Sam.
99
00:03:53,829 --> 00:03:55,874
Hi. Oh, I don't need a nickname,
100
00:03:55,918 --> 00:03:57,963
but Manhattan Sam
Chowder could be something
101
00:03:58,007 --> 00:03:59,487
if you're looking for one.
102
00:03:59,530 --> 00:04:01,532
What? You mean New England?
103
00:04:01,576 --> 00:04:03,055
Manhattan is a soup, as well.
104
00:04:03,099 --> 00:04:06,624
It's also where I lived,
so it's tomato-based.
105
00:04:08,060 --> 00:04:09,060
This is painful.
106
00:04:09,061 --> 00:04:11,847
Yeah, I can't watch this.
107
00:04:11,890 --> 00:04:13,892
Oh, this place is epic.
108
00:04:13,936 --> 00:04:15,503
Okay.
109
00:04:15,546 --> 00:04:17,679
It is so good to see you guys.
110
00:04:17,722 --> 00:04:19,246
It's good to see you, too.
111
00:04:19,289 --> 00:04:21,117
I wish it could have been
under better circumstances.
112
00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:23,467
Oh, but don't worry. I have
the perfect night planned
113
00:04:23,511 --> 00:04:25,382
to help you get over that jerk.
114
00:04:25,426 --> 00:04:28,298
Oh, guys, it's cool. I'm so over him.
115
00:04:28,342 --> 00:04:29,386
What's that?
116
00:04:29,430 --> 00:04:31,214
- I met someone new.
- Already?
117
00:04:31,258 --> 00:04:33,216
- Wow.
- So you don't need, like,
118
00:04:33,260 --> 00:04:34,609
any cheering up at all, huh?
119
00:04:34,652 --> 00:04:38,003
- That's great.
- There goes that plan.
120
00:04:38,047 --> 00:04:39,396
Yeah, I set my dating profile
121
00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:41,355
to the Hudson Valley a couple days ago,
122
00:04:41,398 --> 00:04:43,574
'cause I knew I was gonna
be up here, and then boom,
123
00:04:43,618 --> 00:04:45,837
I matched with this insanely hot guy.
124
00:04:45,881 --> 00:04:49,232
We've been messaging,
and we're really vibing.
125
00:04:49,276 --> 00:04:50,276
Do you want to see him?
126
00:04:50,277 --> 00:04:51,756
Yeah, sure.
127
00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:54,716
Oh, dang. I got to stop
leaving my house on 17%.
128
00:04:54,759 --> 00:04:56,848
Well, I'm gonna drop my
bags and grab a charge.
129
00:04:56,892 --> 00:04:57,980
I'll show you the way.
130
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,898
Sorry Jay's sister's
not devastated, Sam.
131
00:05:02,941 --> 00:05:05,857
Yes, we are here for you.
132
00:05:05,901 --> 00:05:07,381
Thanks, guys.
133
00:05:07,424 --> 00:05:11,080
So, you just gave away our pillow palace
134
00:05:11,123 --> 00:05:13,169
to some rando's sister?
135
00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:14,997
It's not some rando. It's Jay.
136
00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:17,086
Who the hell's Jay?
137
00:05:17,129 --> 00:05:18,957
- Sam's husband?
- Huh?
138
00:05:19,001 --> 00:05:21,133
The living butler's husband?
139
00:05:21,177 --> 00:05:24,528
Oh, face it, Pete. You're a pushover.
140
00:05:24,572 --> 00:05:25,964
Because I gave in on one little thing
141
00:05:26,008 --> 00:05:28,097
in the interest of house harmony?
142
00:05:28,140 --> 00:05:31,100
You didn't give in on one
thing. You give in on everything.
143
00:05:31,143 --> 00:05:32,710
You told me yourself
144
00:05:32,754 --> 00:05:34,451
you never get to pick
the movie on movie night.
145
00:05:34,495 --> 00:05:37,065
- Well, that's true.
- And you're always the caboose
146
00:05:37,066 --> 00:05:38,664
in the massage train.
147
00:05:38,665 --> 00:05:41,806
- I mean, someone's got to be.
- Why can't it be a circle, huh?
148
00:05:41,850 --> 00:05:45,114
That way, everyone gets
their man parts rubbed.
149
00:05:45,157 --> 00:05:47,735
Again, shoulders are
not specific to men.
150
00:05:47,736 --> 00:05:49,945
You start standing up for yourself
151
00:05:49,988 --> 00:05:51,468
and get our room back,
152
00:05:51,512 --> 00:05:54,863
or I will tell everyone
our relationship is fake
153
00:05:54,906 --> 00:05:58,170
and that you have a
huge crush on Alberta.
154
00:05:58,214 --> 00:06:00,085
You know, there's a certain irony
155
00:06:00,129 --> 00:06:02,697
to you strong-arming me into
being less of a pushover.
156
00:06:02,740 --> 00:06:05,221
That did not escape me, Pete.
157
00:06:07,179 --> 00:06:08,703
Housekeeping.
158
00:06:10,618 --> 00:06:12,301
And we are charged.
159
00:06:12,302 --> 00:06:13,360
- Do you want to see the guy?
- Oh.
160
00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:14,839
- Yes, please.
- Okay, now,
161
00:06:14,883 --> 00:06:16,363
he's not my normal type. He comes off
162
00:06:16,406 --> 00:06:18,234
as this, like, douchey finance bro.
163
00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:19,627
And he is a little,
164
00:06:19,670 --> 00:06:22,064
but he's also, like, really sensitive.
165
00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:25,502
Damn, Bela!
166
00:06:25,546 --> 00:06:28,505
- Get it, girl. This dude is hot.
- Right?
167
00:06:29,506 --> 00:06:31,203
Oh, my God.
168
00:06:32,814 --> 00:06:35,207
He's really something.
169
00:06:35,251 --> 00:06:36,687
I can explain.
170
00:06:40,952 --> 00:06:44,216
Look, I don't see what's wrong.
I mean, that guy seems great.
171
00:06:44,260 --> 00:06:46,915
Not to mention, so dreamy.
172
00:06:46,958 --> 00:06:48,612
- Wow. That's so kind.
- No.
173
00:06:48,656 --> 00:06:51,049
I don't want another word out
of you unless it's explaining
174
00:06:51,093 --> 00:06:52,312
why my sister-in-law was chatting
175
00:06:52,355 --> 00:06:53,704
to a guy with your profile picture.
176
00:06:53,748 --> 00:06:55,489
- Whose picture?
- The guy in the photo,
177
00:06:55,532 --> 00:06:57,404
- it was Trevor.
- Trevor?
178
00:06:57,447 --> 00:07:00,145
No pants? The one who
keeps hitting on you?
179
00:07:00,189 --> 00:07:02,540
How come you never told
me about those cheekbones?
180
00:07:02,541 --> 00:07:05,237
- Okay, starting to warm up to this guy.
- You.
181
00:07:05,281 --> 00:07:07,588
Just out with it. What
the hell is going on?
182
00:07:07,631 --> 00:07:10,417
- I may have made myself a dating profile.
- What?
183
00:07:10,460 --> 00:07:13,637
- How?
- Well, it all started a few months back.
184
00:07:13,681 --> 00:07:16,292
I was minding my own business,
hoping I might get lucky
185
00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:18,294
and see a painter fall off his ladder.
186
00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:20,383
When you've been dead 20
years, it's the little things
187
00:07:20,427 --> 00:07:21,689
that really keep you going.
188
00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:23,560
- Please get to the point.
- Right. Anyway,
189
00:07:23,604 --> 00:07:27,347
he took a break, and nothing
prepared me for what I saw next.
190
00:07:29,261 --> 00:07:30,872
So many women.
191
00:07:30,915 --> 00:07:32,700
So many varieties.
192
00:07:32,743 --> 00:07:35,006
Short women. Tall
women. Platinum blondes.
193
00:07:35,050 --> 00:07:37,835
- Dirty blondes. Strawberry blondes.
- This is painful.
194
00:07:37,879 --> 00:07:39,141
The humble craftsman
195
00:07:39,184 --> 00:07:41,796
had shown me a brave new world,
196
00:07:41,839 --> 00:07:43,885
and I knew right away that I wanted in.
197
00:07:43,928 --> 00:07:46,409
So, for the next month, I studied.
198
00:07:46,453 --> 00:07:50,108
I learned how to download apps.
I asked all the right questions.
199
00:07:50,152 --> 00:07:51,893
Oh, what a cute little stinker.
200
00:07:51,936 --> 00:07:54,112
How exactly did you save that?
201
00:07:54,156 --> 00:07:56,811
- In detail.
- Oh, it's easy.
202
00:07:56,854 --> 00:07:59,988
You just press down, and
the menu pops up, and...
203
00:08:00,031 --> 00:08:01,598
Interesting.
204
00:08:01,642 --> 00:08:05,559
And eventually I was ready
to put my plan into action.
205
00:08:08,997 --> 00:08:10,433
He used the kitchen iPad.
206
00:08:10,477 --> 00:08:13,175
I knew we needed a
better password than 1234.
207
00:08:13,218 --> 00:08:14,785
You're right. I should have anticipated
208
00:08:14,829 --> 00:08:17,179
- a ghost catfishing my sister.
- Wait,
209
00:08:17,222 --> 00:08:18,876
how did you get a picture of yourself?
210
00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:21,357
It took weeks of sneaking down
211
00:08:21,401 --> 00:08:23,446
night after night,
working letter by letter.
212
00:08:23,490 --> 00:08:26,014
Sam, I was like Andy Dufresne chiseling
213
00:08:26,057 --> 00:08:27,668
through to a new life
with a little rock hammer.
214
00:08:27,711 --> 00:08:29,104
Andy Dufresne? Who's that?
215
00:08:29,147 --> 00:08:30,714
- Seriously? Shawshank.
- Shawshank.
216
00:08:30,758 --> 00:08:32,324
Come on, babe.
217
00:08:32,368 --> 00:08:34,326
Finally, after all that toiling...
218
00:08:36,459 --> 00:08:38,592
... it was done.
219
00:08:38,635 --> 00:08:40,855
The perfect profile.
220
00:08:47,514 --> 00:08:50,168
And then, one fateful night,
I started getting matches.
221
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:54,259
And then two days ago, I
matched with Jay's sister.
222
00:08:54,303 --> 00:08:56,131
And then a couple days
ago, he matched with Bela.
223
00:08:56,174 --> 00:08:59,003
- They feel pain when we pass through them, right?
- Jay.
224
00:08:59,047 --> 00:09:02,093
- Is he seri...
- Come here! Oh!
225
00:09:02,137 --> 00:09:03,791
Where are you?
226
00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:06,533
Ooh. Aah!
227
00:09:06,576 --> 00:09:08,360
- Oh!
- Did I get him?
228
00:09:08,404 --> 00:09:09,927
Yeah, really good.
229
00:09:09,971 --> 00:09:11,494
I'm sorry.
230
00:09:11,538 --> 00:09:13,409
The only thing that hurts more
231
00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:15,672
than knowing that I died
before finding true love
232
00:09:15,716 --> 00:09:18,022
is knowing that I died before
I could crush it on these apps.
233
00:09:18,066 --> 00:09:20,024
What was your endgame, Trevor?
234
00:09:20,068 --> 00:09:21,939
I just wanted the validation, I guess.
235
00:09:21,983 --> 00:09:23,506
But then Bela showed up at the house,
236
00:09:23,550 --> 00:09:25,769
and I realized those are
real people on those apps.
237
00:09:25,813 --> 00:09:28,598
Or maybe they're other super
motivated ghosts like me,
238
00:09:28,642 --> 00:09:30,034
but that seems less likely.
239
00:09:30,078 --> 00:09:32,036
Do you have any idea what you've done?
240
00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:33,385
I'm sorry.
241
00:09:33,429 --> 00:09:35,562
It's really lonely being a ghost.
242
00:09:35,605 --> 00:09:37,477
I miss having that
connection with someone new,
243
00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:40,044
that hope that she might be the one.
244
00:09:40,088 --> 00:09:42,351
I'm never gonna get that again.
245
00:09:42,394 --> 00:09:43,657
Aw.
246
00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:45,310
No! I'm still mad.
247
00:09:45,354 --> 00:09:48,879
Ooh, Sam, this is really, really bad.
248
00:09:48,923 --> 00:09:51,055
Bela was so upset when
Gabe broke up with her.
249
00:09:51,099 --> 00:09:53,710
Her emoji use was unhinged.
250
00:09:53,754 --> 00:09:56,713
If she finds out she
was catfished now...
251
00:09:56,757 --> 00:09:59,194
- Well, you wanted a reason to cheer her up.
- No.
252
00:09:59,237 --> 00:10:00,935
I actually wanted to help her
253
00:10:00,978 --> 00:10:02,937
through a normal but
difficult situation.
254
00:10:02,980 --> 00:10:05,592
I didn't want her destroyed
by some dead frat bro.
255
00:10:05,635 --> 00:10:09,204
Oh, we are going to have to
play this very delicately.
256
00:10:09,247 --> 00:10:10,335
I got it.
257
00:10:10,379 --> 00:10:12,424
Trevor has to "move."
258
00:10:12,468 --> 00:10:13,904
Yes.
259
00:10:13,948 --> 00:10:15,645
To somewhere far away
260
00:10:15,689 --> 00:10:18,256
and unappealing. Because
she's my sister. I love her.
261
00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:20,258
But she's very thirsty,
and she could follow him.
262
00:10:20,302 --> 00:10:23,218
I mean, I saw that
jawline. It's like granite.
263
00:10:23,261 --> 00:10:24,785
Love this guy.
264
00:10:24,828 --> 00:10:26,569
Howdy, folks.
265
00:10:26,613 --> 00:10:28,528
- This will just take a minute.
- Wh... what is this?
266
00:10:28,571 --> 00:10:31,008
Isaac and I were in the middle
of a riveting debate on scarves.
267
00:10:31,052 --> 00:10:34,316
You got this, Pete.
Just like we practiced.
268
00:10:34,359 --> 00:10:36,492
Listen up, ghosts.
269
00:10:36,536 --> 00:10:38,538
I have spent the last 40 years
270
00:10:38,581 --> 00:10:40,365
bending over backwards to compromise
271
00:10:40,409 --> 00:10:42,585
for the sake of house harmony,
272
00:10:42,629 --> 00:10:44,587
but I'm here to tell you I'm done.
273
00:10:44,631 --> 00:10:47,851
I've had it up to my arrow
with all of your applesauce.
274
00:10:47,895 --> 00:10:50,550
It's time for Pete to
finally get what he wants.
275
00:10:50,593 --> 00:10:54,118
And he wants a mold-free
room, so one of you
276
00:10:54,162 --> 00:10:57,295
is making way for Pete and his girl.
277
00:10:57,339 --> 00:11:00,211
If that's amenable to everyone.
278
00:11:00,255 --> 00:11:01,952
Or even if it's not.
279
00:11:01,996 --> 00:11:03,301
- Yeah.
- Also,
280
00:11:03,345 --> 00:11:05,608
I will no longer be the
caboose on the massage train.
281
00:11:05,652 --> 00:11:08,350
I lead it now. I'm the engine.
282
00:11:08,393 --> 00:11:12,180
You hear that? Let's go. All right.
283
00:11:13,529 --> 00:11:17,664
Well, the moment we
all feared has arrived.
284
00:11:17,707 --> 00:11:22,494
- Pete's developed a spine.
- This is an unfortunate turn of events.
285
00:11:22,538 --> 00:11:23,931
What are y'all talking about?
286
00:11:23,974 --> 00:11:25,280
Pete's finally sticking up for himself,
287
00:11:25,323 --> 00:11:26,542
and you think that's a bad thing?
288
00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:27,630
Need I remind you what it was like
289
00:11:27,674 --> 00:11:29,153
before that saint of a man
290
00:11:29,197 --> 00:11:30,938
was felled by a little girl's arrow?
291
00:11:30,981 --> 00:11:33,288
No one compromised on
anything around here.
292
00:11:33,331 --> 00:11:34,463
Isaac is right.
293
00:11:34,506 --> 00:11:36,247
Pete's spinelessness is
294
00:11:36,291 --> 00:11:39,250
the grease that keeps the wheels
of our little world turning.
295
00:11:39,294 --> 00:11:41,470
We had people like
Pete in Viking society.
296
00:11:41,513 --> 00:11:43,341
We sacrificed them,
297
00:11:43,385 --> 00:11:46,954
then gave their blood to please
our gods and prevent famine.
298
00:11:46,997 --> 00:11:50,131
They were respected. Dead but respected.
299
00:11:50,174 --> 00:11:51,436
Well,
300
00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:53,003
I like this new Pete.
301
00:11:53,047 --> 00:11:54,875
He's got gumption.
302
00:11:54,918 --> 00:11:57,225
And maybe the answer isn't him
going back to the way he was.
303
00:11:57,268 --> 00:11:59,314
Maybe the answer is all of us
304
00:11:59,357 --> 00:12:02,883
actually learning to
compromise for once.
305
00:12:03,927 --> 00:12:06,451
- There's got to be a better way.
- That's not happening.
306
00:12:08,062 --> 00:12:09,541
Hey,
307
00:12:09,585 --> 00:12:11,108
Bela, what's wrong?
308
00:12:11,152 --> 00:12:14,546
Turns out Trevor's a
lying piece of trash.
309
00:12:14,590 --> 00:12:16,113
He told me he's moving to Newfoundland,
310
00:12:16,157 --> 00:12:17,680
which sounds made-up.
311
00:12:17,724 --> 00:12:19,682
I told you, we should
have gone with Mykonos.
312
00:12:19,726 --> 00:12:22,293
- It could be real.
- Mm, yeah. He could've moved there.
313
00:12:22,337 --> 00:12:24,426
Although, obviously,
314
00:12:24,469 --> 00:12:28,082
it's too far and cold to
visit or follow someone to.
315
00:12:28,125 --> 00:12:29,692
Mm, something's off.
316
00:12:29,736 --> 00:12:31,346
I'm looking this asshat up.
317
00:12:31,389 --> 00:12:33,261
See if he's even who he says he is.
318
00:12:33,304 --> 00:12:36,046
You don't know his last name.
How could you even do that?
319
00:12:36,090 --> 00:12:37,482
Oh, I just do a reverse image search
320
00:12:37,526 --> 00:12:39,310
- with his profile photo.
- Oh.
321
00:12:39,354 --> 00:12:41,399
That's so cool that you can do that.
322
00:12:43,401 --> 00:12:45,403
This picture's from an obituary,
323
00:12:45,447 --> 00:12:47,841
and the guy died 20 years ago.
324
00:12:47,884 --> 00:12:49,799
- It's the only picture of me on the Internet.
- Oh, my God.
325
00:12:49,843 --> 00:12:51,540
Do you know what this means?
326
00:12:52,323 --> 00:12:53,629
I got catfished.
327
00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:54,717
- No.
- What?
328
00:12:54,761 --> 00:12:55,979
This is messed-up.
329
00:12:56,023 --> 00:12:57,241
He is not getting away with this.
330
00:12:57,285 --> 00:12:59,983
"Hey, doucher, I know you're not real.
331
00:13:00,027 --> 00:13:03,770
And BT dubs, catfishing
is so ten years ago."
332
00:13:03,813 --> 00:13:05,423
"Who are you?"
333
00:13:05,467 --> 00:13:07,164
"Some thousand-year-old virgin?"
334
00:13:11,255 --> 00:13:13,736
Bela, wait.
335
00:13:17,784 --> 00:13:19,873
Why does that sound keep
coming from your iPad?
336
00:13:20,116 --> 00:13:21,831
Great question. Why
don't you hand it over,
337
00:13:21,875 --> 00:13:23,093
and I'll take it to the Genius Bar.
338
00:13:23,137 --> 00:13:24,791
Unlock the iPad, Jay.
339
00:13:24,834 --> 00:13:27,794
- I would, but I... I forgot the passcode.
- Well, luckily,
340
00:13:27,837 --> 00:13:30,318
it's been the same
since junior high. 1234.
341
00:13:35,932 --> 00:13:37,151
You're Trevor?
342
00:13:42,765 --> 00:13:44,898
Okay, I am freaking out right now.
343
00:13:44,941 --> 00:13:46,203
Bela, it's not what it looks like.
344
00:13:46,247 --> 00:13:47,857
We just invited you up to the house
345
00:13:47,901 --> 00:13:49,772
because we wanted to cheer you up.
346
00:13:49,816 --> 00:13:52,557
You thought creating
Trevor would cheer me up?
347
00:13:52,601 --> 00:13:54,124
- Ew. No.
- Oh, no.
348
00:13:54,168 --> 00:13:55,952
You didn't think I could
find a real man again,
349
00:13:55,996 --> 00:13:58,259
so you created a fake
one to flirt with me
350
00:13:58,302 --> 00:14:00,652
- and compliment my smile.
- I really meant that.
351
00:14:00,696 --> 00:14:03,133
And you made up a guy that is exactly
352
00:14:03,177 --> 00:14:04,395
everything I'm looking for.
353
00:14:04,439 --> 00:14:06,180
Someone who loves clubbing
354
00:14:06,223 --> 00:14:07,659
and the Hamptons
355
00:14:07,703 --> 00:14:09,618
and jam bands from the late '90s.
356
00:14:09,661 --> 00:14:11,359
We're freaking meant for each other.
357
00:14:11,402 --> 00:14:12,534
That's not what happened.
358
00:14:12,577 --> 00:14:14,797
- Then what did happen?
- I...
359
00:14:14,841 --> 00:14:17,452
don't have a good explanation.
360
00:14:17,495 --> 00:14:18,583
You guys are sick.
361
00:14:18,627 --> 00:14:20,629
I'm packing my bags and leaving.
362
00:14:22,544 --> 00:14:24,502
I mean, we sexted.
363
00:14:24,546 --> 00:14:26,026
Ugh!
364
00:14:26,069 --> 00:14:28,811
I didn't know it had a name.
365
00:14:30,378 --> 00:14:33,163
That's Hetty, Alberta, oh, and me.
366
00:14:33,207 --> 00:14:35,296
Three against one, Thor,
you must give up your room
367
00:14:35,339 --> 00:14:36,993
to Pete and the filthy one.
368
00:14:37,037 --> 00:14:39,474
Mm-mm. Thor not moving.
369
00:14:39,517 --> 00:14:40,910
But we voted.
370
00:14:40,954 --> 00:14:43,608
- Thor not believe in democracy.
- Oh,
371
00:14:43,652 --> 00:14:46,437
- how convenient.
- Fine. I change my vote to Isaac.
372
00:14:46,481 --> 00:14:48,396
- Me, too.
- Weasels!
373
00:14:48,439 --> 00:14:49,658
All of you.
374
00:14:49,701 --> 00:14:51,268
They're hurting each other's feelings.
375
00:14:51,312 --> 00:14:52,922
I have to put a stop to this.
376
00:14:52,966 --> 00:14:54,532
- Oh, here we go.
- Out of my room!
377
00:14:54,576 --> 00:14:57,231
Spineless Pete worming his
way back to the surface.
378
00:14:57,274 --> 00:14:59,842
Do you want to know
why I compromise, Nancy?
379
00:14:59,886 --> 00:15:03,063
- Yeah.
- I'm modeling for these people. Yes,
380
00:15:03,106 --> 00:15:05,543
it's been 40 years, and, yes,
they're not exactly picking up
381
00:15:05,587 --> 00:15:07,807
what I'm laying down,
but I believe in them.
382
00:15:07,850 --> 00:15:09,591
They have good in them.
383
00:15:09,634 --> 00:15:11,811
And eventually they're gonna get there.
384
00:15:11,854 --> 00:15:13,551
And until that time,
385
00:15:13,595 --> 00:15:15,553
I'm gonna keep setting an example.
386
00:15:15,597 --> 00:15:19,166
That's BS. You're just scared
of someone not liking you.
387
00:15:19,209 --> 00:15:20,863
Oh, yeah?
388
00:15:20,907 --> 00:15:22,517
Yeah, you wimp.
389
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:23,735
That is enough!
390
00:15:23,779 --> 00:15:25,215
... powder off your wig.
391
00:15:25,259 --> 00:15:27,261
I cannot take one more
minute of your bullying!
392
00:15:27,304 --> 00:15:29,785
You want me to stand up
for myself and have a spine?
393
00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:32,614
Well, here we go! It is over between us.
394
00:15:32,657 --> 00:15:35,138
I am done listening to you.
395
00:15:35,182 --> 00:15:36,531
So if you have something
you want to say to everyone,
396
00:15:36,574 --> 00:15:38,794
- you just go ahead and say it.
- Fine!
397
00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:46,280
I'm going back down to the basement
398
00:15:46,323 --> 00:15:50,414
'cause I just broke up
with my very real boyfriend
399
00:15:50,548 --> 00:15:53,507
and, also, 'cause you all suck,
400
00:15:53,551 --> 00:15:57,207
and I'd rather be with the
cholera pit people. Huh.
401
00:15:59,035 --> 00:16:00,253
Proud of you, Petey.
402
00:16:02,255 --> 00:16:04,997
Now, you listen up good.
403
00:16:05,041 --> 00:16:06,694
I'm taking the moldy room,
404
00:16:06,738 --> 00:16:09,001
and I don't want to hear
another word about it.
405
00:16:10,785 --> 00:16:14,006
Yeah. That's what I thought.
406
00:16:14,050 --> 00:16:16,791
Does that mean she's single now?
407
00:16:17,792 --> 00:16:18,880
Bela.
408
00:16:18,924 --> 00:16:20,056
I have nothing to say to you two.
409
00:16:20,099 --> 00:16:21,405
No, no, you have to trust
410
00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:22,928
that we weren't trying to hurt you.
411
00:16:22,972 --> 00:16:24,364
It doesn't matter what
you were trying to do.
412
00:16:24,408 --> 00:16:26,801
You thought I was so
pathetic that the best way
413
00:16:26,845 --> 00:16:29,282
to help me was to
concoct some giant lie.
414
00:16:30,631 --> 00:16:33,678
I don't think I'll ever
be able to forgive you.
415
00:16:35,071 --> 00:16:37,682
- It was a ghost.
- What?
416
00:16:37,725 --> 00:16:40,119
- Babe, are you sure about this?
- Look, I know
417
00:16:40,163 --> 00:16:41,860
that this is gonna sound crazy,
418
00:16:41,903 --> 00:16:43,993
but if it has any chance of
salvaging this relationship,
419
00:16:44,036 --> 00:16:45,429
I have to come clean.
420
00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:48,562
A few months ago, I fell down the stairs
421
00:16:48,606 --> 00:16:51,391
and I went into a coma. Thank
you for the flowers, by the way.
422
00:16:51,435 --> 00:16:53,611
And when I woke up, I could see ghosts.
423
00:16:53,654 --> 00:16:56,440
Trevor died in this house 20 years ago.
424
00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:58,746
And he doesn't wear pants,
which may not seem relevant,
425
00:16:58,790 --> 00:17:00,922
but it's something I have
to know, and now you do, too.
426
00:17:00,966 --> 00:17:02,489
Anyhow, somehow,
427
00:17:02,533 --> 00:17:04,187
he managed to create a dating profile,
428
00:17:04,230 --> 00:17:07,059
and th-the important part of
the story is, I see ghosts.
429
00:17:07,103 --> 00:17:08,756
And besides Jay,
430
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:10,280
you're the only person I've ever told.
431
00:17:10,323 --> 00:17:12,456
I know this must be
432
00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:15,067
difficult to believe, but
I sincerely hope you do.
433
00:17:15,111 --> 00:17:16,503
Honestly, Sam,
434
00:17:16,547 --> 00:17:18,201
get help.
435
00:17:20,203 --> 00:17:22,248
Bela.
436
00:17:23,467 --> 00:17:24,772
Bela, hold up.
437
00:17:24,816 --> 00:17:27,036
Look, I'm not crazy,
438
00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:28,167
or-or at least I'm not lying.
439
00:17:28,211 --> 00:17:30,126
And I can prove it. Thor, lights.
440
00:17:30,169 --> 00:17:31,344
Sam, chair!
441
00:17:31,388 --> 00:17:33,085
No, get the lights.
442
00:17:33,129 --> 00:17:34,608
Oh, right, yes.
443
00:17:38,090 --> 00:17:39,831
What was that?
444
00:17:39,874 --> 00:17:41,441
Alberta, hum us a tune.
445
00:17:41,485 --> 00:17:42,616
Oh, finally.
446
00:17:48,883 --> 00:17:52,278
Okay, that's a trick.
Secret switches, speakers.
447
00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:54,585
- Isaac?
- Hmm? What? Oh, uh, you know what?
448
00:17:54,628 --> 00:17:57,240
- No, I'll pass. Thank you.
- Isaac, please.
449
00:17:57,241 --> 00:17:58,367
Fine.
450
00:18:01,853 --> 00:18:04,464
Oh! That is nasty.
451
00:18:04,508 --> 00:18:06,336
- Okay, it's no picnic for me, either.
- Okay,
452
00:18:06,379 --> 00:18:07,772
what is happening?
453
00:18:07,815 --> 00:18:09,208
You just met some of the ghosts.
454
00:18:09,252 --> 00:18:12,342
I can tell you what's in your bag. Pete.
455
00:18:13,995 --> 00:18:17,270
- We got a pair of hiking boots.
- A pair of hiking boots.
456
00:18:17,271 --> 00:18:18,913
A beanie.
457
00:18:18,957 --> 00:18:20,698
Three unread back issues
458
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:21,712
- of The New Yorker.
- Three unread back issues
459
00:18:21,712 --> 00:18:23,657
of The New Yorker. And...
I'm just saying this
460
00:18:23,701 --> 00:18:25,398
to prove a point... a personal massager.
461
00:18:25,442 --> 00:18:27,966
Oh, why you got to tell me that?
462
00:18:28,009 --> 00:18:29,707
How many fingers am I holding up?
463
00:18:31,839 --> 00:18:33,624
Three.
464
00:18:33,667 --> 00:18:35,756
Holy crap.
465
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:38,063
You can see ghosts?
466
00:18:38,107 --> 00:18:40,457
What is personal massager?
467
00:18:44,417 --> 00:18:46,115
So, ghosts don't eat,
468
00:18:46,158 --> 00:18:47,159
but they sleep?
469
00:18:47,203 --> 00:18:48,378
And they don't go to the bathroom?
470
00:18:48,421 --> 00:18:50,641
Then what about... you know?
471
00:18:50,684 --> 00:18:52,469
Yeah, surprisingly, that one's a yes.
472
00:18:52,512 --> 00:18:54,079
Wow. And, like,
473
00:18:54,123 --> 00:18:55,950
could a ghost do it with a human?
474
00:18:55,994 --> 00:18:57,952
No. You know what? I'm not there yet.
475
00:18:57,996 --> 00:19:00,303
Please don't tell
anyone about this, Bela.
476
00:19:00,346 --> 00:19:01,608
Your secret's safe with me.
477
00:19:01,652 --> 00:19:03,088
Hey,
478
00:19:03,132 --> 00:19:05,743
am I really the only one
you've told besides Jay?
479
00:19:05,786 --> 00:19:07,223
- Yeah.
- Wow,
480
00:19:07,266 --> 00:19:09,747
I can't believe that.
That really means a lot.
481
00:19:10,791 --> 00:19:12,750
Kind of makes me feel
really close to you.
482
00:19:12,793 --> 00:19:15,318
- Is that stupid?
- No, I don't think that's stupid.
483
00:19:15,361 --> 00:19:17,189
You know, I always
kind of wanted a sister.
484
00:19:17,233 --> 00:19:19,365
Instead, all I got was this dork.
485
00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:21,454
She made me wear a
dress till I was five.
486
00:19:21,498 --> 00:19:22,890
Did you say "sister"?
487
00:19:22,934 --> 00:19:24,762
Yeah, don't be an idiot about it.
488
00:19:24,805 --> 00:19:27,721
- Don't you be an idiot about it.
- Okay.
489
00:19:27,765 --> 00:19:29,375
Jay, I'm doing sister banter.
490
00:19:29,419 --> 00:19:30,681
Nice work, babe.
491
00:19:30,724 --> 00:19:34,337
I'd like to say goodbye
to Bela if I could.
492
00:19:34,380 --> 00:19:36,295
I don't think anybody
wants to hear from you.
493
00:19:36,339 --> 00:19:37,905
- What?
- Oh, it's a ghost thing.
494
00:19:37,949 --> 00:19:39,298
You'll get used to it pretty fast.
495
00:19:39,342 --> 00:19:41,213
Trevor's here. He wants a word.
496
00:19:41,257 --> 00:19:43,520
It's okay. I'm willing to hear him out.
497
00:19:43,563 --> 00:19:44,782
Really?
498
00:19:44,825 --> 00:19:46,218
Fine.
499
00:19:46,262 --> 00:19:47,698
Okay, this is gonna be awkward for me,
500
00:19:47,741 --> 00:19:49,047
so I'm gonna leave
the three of you to it.
501
00:19:49,090 --> 00:19:51,267
Or however many of you there are.
502
00:19:52,311 --> 00:19:54,226
Okay, Trevor, this better be good.
503
00:19:54,270 --> 00:19:56,185
Bela, I'm sorry I lied to you.
504
00:19:56,228 --> 00:19:58,404
"Bela, I'm sorry I lied to you."
505
00:19:58,448 --> 00:20:01,190
But the connection that
we had, that wasn't a lie.
506
00:20:01,233 --> 00:20:03,583
I meant every word that I said.
507
00:20:03,627 --> 00:20:06,195
"I do love your eyes
508
00:20:06,238 --> 00:20:07,935
and your smile."
509
00:20:07,979 --> 00:20:09,241
And your boobs.
510
00:20:10,764 --> 00:20:12,201
- You forgot the boobs.
- Nope.
511
00:20:12,244 --> 00:20:13,593
Just keep going.
512
00:20:14,594 --> 00:20:16,770
I talk a big game,
513
00:20:16,814 --> 00:20:18,424
but the truth is,
514
00:20:18,468 --> 00:20:21,079
I really did want to find
someone to spend my life with,
515
00:20:21,122 --> 00:20:23,342
and I didn't.
516
00:20:23,386 --> 00:20:26,171
Life is way too short.
517
00:20:26,215 --> 00:20:27,868
I used to think that was
518
00:20:27,912 --> 00:20:30,219
a dumb thing that people
said, but it's really true.
519
00:20:31,742 --> 00:20:34,701
Go find yourself someone
who's as incredible as you.
520
00:20:36,486 --> 00:20:38,270
Because that's what you deserve.
521
00:20:38,314 --> 00:20:40,141
"Because that's what you deserve."
522
00:20:41,142 --> 00:20:42,753
Thank you, Trevor.
523
00:20:42,796 --> 00:20:44,276
Also, please send nudes.
524
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:45,451
And we're done.
525
00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:51,500
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
38638
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