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1
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- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
2
00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:09,705
Okay. Plug her in.
3
00:00:09,749 --> 00:00:11,446
Oh, yay!
4
00:00:11,490 --> 00:00:12,839
- All right. Wonderful.
- Yeah. Yeah!
5
00:00:12,883 --> 00:00:14,667
Your old gazebo's looking
pretty good, huh, Hetty?
6
00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:17,061
Indeed! Now, get some swans in the lake,
7
00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:19,802
- Yeah.
- and a couple of giraffes at a dinner party...
8
00:00:19,846 --> 00:00:21,543
It'll be the Gilded Age all over again.
9
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They love it, Jay.
10
00:00:22,762 --> 00:00:24,720
Woo-hoo! Two days of sanding,
11
00:00:24,764 --> 00:00:26,505
three coats of paint, but the smiles
12
00:00:26,548 --> 00:00:28,724
you claim to see on your
invisible friends' faces
13
00:00:28,768 --> 00:00:30,770
make it all worthwhile.
14
00:00:30,813 --> 00:00:32,610
Hey, should we hang some
Halloween decorations on it?
15
00:00:32,611 --> 00:00:34,891
- Yes.
- Oh, my God, wait. Halloween?
16
00:00:34,892 --> 00:00:38,517
Ghosts! This is your holiday.
You guys must love Halloween.
17
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,040
Who's gonna tell her?
18
00:00:40,084 --> 00:00:41,868
We hate Halloween.
19
00:00:41,912 --> 00:00:42,912
What'd they say?
20
00:00:42,913 --> 00:00:43,914
They don't like it.
21
00:00:43,957 --> 00:00:45,089
Okay, that feels off brand.
22
00:00:45,132 --> 00:00:46,829
All Hallows Eve mocks us
23
00:00:46,873 --> 00:00:48,555
and belittles our very existence.
24
00:00:48,826 --> 00:00:49,957
People putting sheets over their heads
25
00:00:50,001 --> 00:00:51,350
and pretending to be "ghosts"?
26
00:00:51,393 --> 00:00:52,830
I mean, what is that?
27
00:00:52,873 --> 00:00:54,570
Plus, we can't do any of the
fun stuff that Livings do.
28
00:00:54,614 --> 00:00:56,790
We can't dress up in
costumes, we can't eat candy...
29
00:00:56,834 --> 00:00:58,313
Can't hook up with a sexy nurse.
30
00:00:58,357 --> 00:01:01,055
Or a sexy kitten. Or sexy
Bobby Boucher from Waterboy.
31
00:01:01,099 --> 00:01:02,230
I didn't think it was possible, either,
32
00:01:02,274 --> 00:01:03,710
but this chick pulled it off.
33
00:01:03,754 --> 00:01:05,581
Also, I died on Halloween.
34
00:01:07,409 --> 00:01:09,542
At a party at the mansion in 1995.
35
00:01:09,585 --> 00:01:10,804
This is a costume.
36
00:01:10,848 --> 00:01:12,806
I'm actually an accountant
and my name is Mike.
37
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Seriously?
38
00:01:14,286 --> 00:01:15,766
No, I'm 500 years old.
39
00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:17,637
Come on, Sam.
40
00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:18,943
Oh, that was a good one.
41
00:01:18,986 --> 00:01:21,096
Huh. Storyteller. It's a gift.
42
00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:31,250
Okay, I get that you
guys don't like Halloween.
43
00:01:31,251 --> 00:01:33,781
But all the kids dressed
up... It's so cute.
44
00:01:33,787 --> 00:01:35,996
Don't get us started on "kids."
45
00:01:35,999 --> 00:01:37,522
Every year on Halloween,
46
00:01:37,566 --> 00:01:40,264
my beloved Woodstone Mansion is defiled
47
00:01:40,308 --> 00:01:41,570
by adolescent hooligans.
48
00:01:41,613 --> 00:01:42,613
They throw eggs,
49
00:01:42,614 --> 00:01:44,094
put toilet paper in the trees...
50
00:01:44,095 --> 00:01:45,487
Been going on for decades.
51
00:01:45,530 --> 00:01:46,754
It's sort of a local tradition,
52
00:01:46,797 --> 00:01:48,969
passed down from delinquent
father to delinquent son.
53
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It's humiliating.
54
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This is our home.
55
00:01:51,362 --> 00:01:52,537
This is where we live.
56
00:01:52,581 --> 00:01:54,583
And we're powerless to stop it.
57
00:01:54,626 --> 00:01:56,977
- What's going on?
- The ghosts say there's a group of kids
58
00:01:57,020 --> 00:01:58,456
that vandalize the house each Halloween.
59
00:01:58,500 --> 00:02:00,589
Oh, no, no, no. Not on my watch, babe.
60
00:02:00,632 --> 00:02:02,025
Guys, don't worry.
61
00:02:02,069 --> 00:02:03,679
Of course... we have them.
62
00:02:03,722 --> 00:02:05,289
We don't have to depend on
63
00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:07,204
some useless old lady
to defend the house.
64
00:02:07,248 --> 00:02:10,164
My great-great-granddaughter,
may she rest in peace.
65
00:02:10,207 --> 00:02:12,035
That's right. This year we have Samantha
66
00:02:12,079 --> 00:02:13,428
and her virile young husband.
67
00:02:13,471 --> 00:02:15,996
They can do battle against
the wayward youths for us.
68
00:02:16,039 --> 00:02:18,041
Jump out of tree, and bash their heads!
69
00:02:18,085 --> 00:02:20,348
Oh, my God, no. Nobody's
doing battle with anybody.
70
00:02:20,391 --> 00:02:22,350
Jay and I will talk to the kids.
71
00:02:22,393 --> 00:02:23,568
They're probably just
messing with the house
72
00:02:23,568 --> 00:02:25,222
'cause a creepy old lady lived there.
73
00:02:25,266 --> 00:02:26,702
She was really creepy. That's true.
74
00:02:26,745 --> 00:02:28,269
Again, my descendant.
75
00:02:28,312 --> 00:02:29,487
Who just passed.
76
00:02:29,531 --> 00:02:31,707
- We all were there.
- Mm.
77
00:02:34,275 --> 00:02:37,104
Ooh, pre-Halloween pics
are coming in on the 'Gram.
78
00:02:37,147 --> 00:02:38,627
Yeah, there's gonna be
a lot of Carole Baskins
79
00:02:38,670 --> 00:02:40,542
hooking up with Baby Yodas this year.
80
00:02:40,585 --> 00:02:43,501
I know it's English, and
yet I gleaned nothing.
81
00:02:43,545 --> 00:02:46,069
Aw, man. Some of our friends
are at a rooftop in Brooklyn.
82
00:02:46,113 --> 00:02:48,419
Aw, somebody's got FOMO.
83
00:02:48,463 --> 00:02:50,030
What is FOMO?
84
00:02:50,073 --> 00:02:51,422
Oh, it's "fear of missing out."
85
00:02:51,466 --> 00:02:53,120
Like if you're not invited
to a party or something.
86
00:02:53,163 --> 00:02:56,036
Like when Mamie Fish
excluded me from her cotillion
87
00:02:56,079 --> 00:02:57,689
because she knew I had
the more comely ankles.
88
00:02:57,733 --> 00:02:59,213
Okay, I know we're not
in the city anymore.
89
00:02:59,256 --> 00:03:01,345
But think of the positives:
90
00:03:01,389 --> 00:03:03,434
This is our first
Halloween as homeowners.
91
00:03:03,478 --> 00:03:05,045
We're getting trick-or-treaters.
92
00:03:05,088 --> 00:03:06,524
And we're still the Step Brothers.
93
00:03:06,568 --> 00:03:08,657
Yeah, I guess it's cool.
94
00:03:08,700 --> 00:03:10,702
- Who are the Step Brothers?
- It's from a movie.
95
00:03:10,746 --> 00:03:12,356
We dress like this every year,
96
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:13,749
because it's cheap, it's comfortable,
97
00:03:13,792 --> 00:03:15,577
and it doesn't sexually objectify me.
98
00:03:15,620 --> 00:03:17,448
But that's the whole point of Halloween.
99
00:03:17,492 --> 00:03:19,407
Our first trick-or-treaters.
100
00:03:19,450 --> 00:03:20,756
Are you ready?
101
00:03:23,237 --> 00:03:24,803
It's go time.
102
00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:28,546
Trick or treat.
103
00:03:28,590 --> 00:03:29,590
Aw.
104
00:03:29,591 --> 00:03:31,419
He's a little Ghostbuster.
105
00:03:31,462 --> 00:03:33,725
- A little what?
- What is ghostbuster?
106
00:03:33,769 --> 00:03:35,205
Not now.
107
00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:36,467
Oh, sorry, are we too early?
108
00:03:36,511 --> 00:03:39,166
No, no, I was just trying to remember
109
00:03:39,209 --> 00:03:41,124
when the Ghostbustersmovie came out
110
00:03:41,168 --> 00:03:44,562
and it was not now, so
it must have been before.
111
00:03:44,606 --> 00:03:46,173
Nailed it, sweetie.
112
00:03:46,216 --> 00:03:50,438
Uh, Ghostbuster, would
you like some candy?
113
00:03:50,481 --> 00:03:52,135
Are you seriously not going to
tell us what a ghostbuster is?
114
00:03:52,179 --> 00:03:54,311
- It's another movie.
- Classic Bill Murray.
115
00:03:54,355 --> 00:03:55,617
He plays a scientist
116
00:03:55,660 --> 00:03:56,792
who's trying to sleep
with Sigourney Weaver
117
00:03:56,835 --> 00:03:58,228
and bust ghosts.
118
00:03:58,272 --> 00:04:00,709
Bust ghosts?
119
00:04:01,579 --> 00:04:03,712
You want to bust me?
120
00:04:03,755 --> 00:04:05,757
I bust you!
121
00:04:05,801 --> 00:04:07,150
Okay, thanks for stopping
by, enjoy your Mounds.
122
00:04:07,194 --> 00:04:08,282
Uh, Happy Halloween!
123
00:04:09,457 --> 00:04:11,285
- Ghost thing?
- Ghost thing.
124
00:04:11,328 --> 00:04:12,329
Cool.
125
00:04:13,765 --> 00:04:15,593
Ooh! We should watch
Ghostbusterstonight.
126
00:04:15,637 --> 00:04:16,768
You guys will love it, trust me.
127
00:04:16,812 --> 00:04:18,292
Is there a Blockbuster around here?
128
00:04:18,335 --> 00:04:19,815
We don't have time for
frivolous entertainment.
129
00:04:19,858 --> 00:04:21,295
We must set up sentries.
130
00:04:21,338 --> 00:04:22,774
An attack is nigh.
131
00:04:22,818 --> 00:04:23,818
Okay, take it easy.
132
00:04:23,819 --> 00:04:25,516
We should do shifts or something.
133
00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:27,562
Some of you stand
around, keeping lookout,
134
00:04:27,605 --> 00:04:29,303
while I watch a talkie with Trev.
135
00:04:29,346 --> 00:04:30,608
Oh, you know what? I'll join you.
136
00:04:30,652 --> 00:04:32,610
What? No! You guys are
the worst army ever.
137
00:04:32,654 --> 00:04:33,785
I never saw it.
138
00:04:33,829 --> 00:04:35,309
It came out the year before I died,
139
00:04:35,352 --> 00:04:37,224
but you know how it is...
between work and family
140
00:04:37,267 --> 00:04:38,616
and getting shot in the
neck with an arrow...
141
00:04:38,660 --> 00:04:40,314
Fine, fine.
142
00:04:40,357 --> 00:04:43,095
But the rest of us will keep
watch and alert the Livings
143
00:04:43,096 --> 00:04:45,623
- so they may confront our vandals.
- Mm.
144
00:04:45,667 --> 00:04:49,192
Then bash them on the heads!
145
00:04:49,236 --> 00:04:51,238
Any chance you change your mind on that?
146
00:04:51,281 --> 00:04:52,456
No?
147
00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:54,154
Okay.
148
00:04:57,592 --> 00:04:59,159
The enemies have arrived.
149
00:04:59,202 --> 00:05:01,378
Jay, Isaac says the
enemies have arrived.
150
00:05:01,422 --> 00:05:02,858
Enemies?
151
00:05:04,860 --> 00:05:06,818
You mean these kids
out here on the bikes?
152
00:05:06,862 --> 00:05:08,429
Come on!
153
00:05:12,607 --> 00:05:14,304
It's the parents who are at fault.
154
00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:15,914
Properly raised
children would be at home
155
00:05:15,958 --> 00:05:17,742
or working in a factory.
156
00:05:19,309 --> 00:05:22,312
That's the evil leader
Zack, his paramour Zoey,
157
00:05:22,356 --> 00:05:24,836
and their very dumb third wheel Robbie.
158
00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:26,186
Dude.
159
00:05:26,229 --> 00:05:27,317
How do you know so
much about these kids?
160
00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:28,623
Last year, they hung out
161
00:05:28,666 --> 00:05:29,841
and split something
called a "hard lemonade."
162
00:05:29,885 --> 00:05:31,626
And we listened in
on their conversation.
163
00:05:31,669 --> 00:05:33,410
What's up, bro-hams?
164
00:05:33,454 --> 00:05:35,369
Hey, you got some sick cykes, huh?
165
00:05:35,412 --> 00:05:37,284
Thank you, sir.
166
00:05:37,327 --> 00:05:39,311
- I'm sorry, what? Sir?
- Ouch.
167
00:05:39,312 --> 00:05:41,201
Well, we just wanted
to introduce ourselves.
168
00:05:41,244 --> 00:05:42,245
I'm Samantha, this is Jay.
169
00:05:42,289 --> 00:05:44,247
And we're the owners of this house.
170
00:05:44,291 --> 00:05:45,596
So, listen, like, whatever
happened in the past,
171
00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:46,684
it's water under the bridge.
172
00:05:46,728 --> 00:05:49,600
But let's just agree that it ends here.
173
00:05:49,644 --> 00:05:51,689
Yeah, you know, we were actually
planning on egging the place,
174
00:05:51,733 --> 00:05:53,561
but after seeing you guys,
and seeing how cool you are,
175
00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:55,432
it just doesn't feel right anymore.
176
00:05:55,476 --> 00:05:57,739
Hmm. This feels like a trap.
177
00:05:57,782 --> 00:06:00,872
- Well, thank you.
- Anyway, we'll be on our way.
178
00:06:00,916 --> 00:06:02,222
Well, next time, pop on your helmets.
179
00:06:02,265 --> 00:06:03,266
Cool kids wear lids.
180
00:06:03,310 --> 00:06:05,268
They do! Keep it a hundo.
181
00:06:05,312 --> 00:06:06,922
They seem really nice.
182
00:06:06,965 --> 00:06:09,620
Very. See, Isaac? No need for war.
183
00:06:11,535 --> 00:06:12,797
Attack!
184
00:06:12,841 --> 00:06:15,409
- Egg war!
- Get 'em!
185
00:06:15,452 --> 00:06:16,932
Hey! What? Whoa! What... No!
186
00:06:16,975 --> 00:06:19,587
- That's not fair! - How
do you like that, bro-ham?
187
00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:24,461
I hate to say "I told you so."
188
00:06:24,505 --> 00:06:26,420
Wait, no, it's actually
quite satisfying.
189
00:06:26,463 --> 00:06:27,638
This is just great.
190
00:06:27,682 --> 00:06:29,249
Our friends are partying on rooftops,
191
00:06:29,292 --> 00:06:30,859
and we're being egged by
the cast of Stranger Things.
192
00:06:30,902 --> 00:06:32,295
We have to do something.
193
00:06:32,339 --> 00:06:33,905
Those kids can't get away with that.
194
00:06:33,949 --> 00:06:35,516
Do something? It's over.
195
00:06:35,559 --> 00:06:37,035
We've just got to get
cleaned up and move on.
196
00:06:37,050 --> 00:06:39,389
Wait, no. Samantha is right.
197
00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:41,304
There must be accountability.
198
00:06:41,348 --> 00:06:43,001
Without repercussions, these
children will never learn.
199
00:06:43,045 --> 00:06:45,395
The ghosts agree. The
kids need consequences.
200
00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:46,875
Come on, babe. What do they know?
201
00:06:46,918 --> 00:06:48,572
Well, for one thing, we were parents.
202
00:06:48,616 --> 00:06:49,965
Well, they were all parents.
203
00:06:50,008 --> 00:06:51,401
I'm definitely not a parent.
204
00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:53,011
I don't know why I said "definitely."
205
00:06:53,055 --> 00:06:54,665
I mean, I had sex during my life.
206
00:06:54,709 --> 00:06:57,712
We just have also been around
for such a very long time,
207
00:06:57,755 --> 00:06:59,366
we have observed what
works and what doesn't work
208
00:06:59,409 --> 00:07:00,932
with regard to disciplining children.
209
00:07:00,976 --> 00:07:02,543
So what do you think we should do?
210
00:07:02,586 --> 00:07:04,545
I just told you I think
we should let it go.
211
00:07:04,588 --> 00:07:05,689
I was actually asking the ghosts.
212
00:07:05,733 --> 00:07:07,896
- Seriously?
- Mm-hmm.
213
00:07:07,939 --> 00:07:09,376
They've been around forever.
214
00:07:09,419 --> 00:07:10,594
We should take advantage of this.
215
00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:12,944
It's like a wise council of elders.
216
00:07:12,988 --> 00:07:15,556
43 times. I had sex 43 times.
217
00:07:15,599 --> 00:07:18,036
A number so specific it'd
be impossible to make up.
218
00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:19,647
You know what I would
do, if I were alive
219
00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:21,039
and the telephone had been invented:
220
00:07:21,083 --> 00:07:22,780
- call their mommies.
- Yes.
221
00:07:22,824 --> 00:07:25,348
Zack's last name is
Ekenrod if that helps.
222
00:07:25,392 --> 00:07:27,829
His mother is Meg. She works
at a place called Applebee's
223
00:07:27,872 --> 00:07:29,309
as some sort of wench.
224
00:07:29,352 --> 00:07:31,441
They're saying we
should call Zack's mom.
225
00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:33,748
They want us to narc?
Mm-mm. Snitches get stitches.
226
00:07:33,791 --> 00:07:35,358
You're only gonna antagonize him.
227
00:07:35,402 --> 00:07:36,925
Or correct his behavior.
228
00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:40,581
Okay, do people think I'm
lying about the sex thing?
229
00:07:40,624 --> 00:07:42,060
'Cause I'm really not lying.
230
00:07:42,104 --> 00:07:43,671
Don't worry.
231
00:07:43,714 --> 00:07:45,020
I know you tell truth.
232
00:07:45,063 --> 00:07:47,762
As ghost I watch you many times.
233
00:07:47,805 --> 00:07:50,895
Thank you. Wait, what?
234
00:07:50,939 --> 00:07:52,419
Pause the movie, Trev.
235
00:07:52,462 --> 00:07:54,072
Pause the movie.
236
00:07:54,116 --> 00:07:55,509
Paused. Whew.
237
00:07:55,552 --> 00:07:58,338
What the H-E-double hockey
sticks is this movie?
238
00:07:58,381 --> 00:07:59,600
People rounding up ghosts,
239
00:07:59,643 --> 00:08:01,558
keeping them in some contraption.
240
00:08:01,602 --> 00:08:03,821
For what? Till when?
241
00:08:03,865 --> 00:08:05,519
I thought Venkman was a hero.
242
00:08:05,562 --> 00:08:07,564
He's no hero, he's a war criminal.
243
00:08:07,608 --> 00:08:09,827
Poor Slimer's just trying
to live his afterlife,
244
00:08:09,871 --> 00:08:12,003
eating leftover room service
that no one even wants.
245
00:08:12,047 --> 00:08:14,702
And then they vacuum him up
into this tiny little box?
246
00:08:14,745 --> 00:08:17,008
I don't remember it
being this disturbing.
247
00:08:17,052 --> 00:08:18,880
Well, you were a Living
when you watched it last.
248
00:08:18,923 --> 00:08:20,751
This is a whole new perspective.
249
00:08:20,795 --> 00:08:22,884
Also, why the hell are they all green?
250
00:08:22,927 --> 00:08:24,494
Were they green in life?
251
00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:27,541
I mean, what died and made that ghost?
252
00:08:29,151 --> 00:08:31,371
Look, we're not trying
to get anyone in trouble.
253
00:08:31,414 --> 00:08:33,416
But we didn't want to just let it go.
254
00:08:33,460 --> 00:08:35,026
Tell her to deny him supper.
255
00:08:35,070 --> 00:08:38,465
Tell her to do Blood Eagle;
tear out ribs and lungs.
256
00:08:38,508 --> 00:08:40,467
Zack, apologize to them.
257
00:08:40,510 --> 00:08:43,470
Fine. I'm sorry.
258
00:08:43,513 --> 00:08:44,993
It wasn't nice,
259
00:08:45,036 --> 00:08:46,036
and I won't do it again.
260
00:08:46,037 --> 00:08:47,517
Thank you, Zack.
261
00:08:47,561 --> 00:08:48,866
Apology accepted.
262
00:08:48,910 --> 00:08:50,738
All right, let's go.
263
00:08:57,092 --> 00:08:59,703
- Well, that was subtle.
- It wasn't great.
264
00:08:59,747 --> 00:09:02,793
I told you we were gonna
antagonize the little psychopath.
265
00:09:02,837 --> 00:09:04,882
Maybe he was just messing with us.
266
00:09:04,926 --> 00:09:06,406
Blood Eagle get out truth.
267
00:09:06,449 --> 00:09:11,019
Or fake confession.
Either way it's still fun.
268
00:09:11,062 --> 00:09:13,804
Troops, we all saw
the threatening gesture
269
00:09:13,848 --> 00:09:15,850
made by young Zack.
270
00:09:15,893 --> 00:09:20,071
It doesn't take a military
genius, which I am,
271
00:09:20,115 --> 00:09:23,161
to know that we must be
on guard for a new attack.
272
00:09:23,205 --> 00:09:24,728
We must spread out.
273
00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:26,643
Vast territory to defend.
274
00:09:26,687 --> 00:09:28,079
Yes, that is the rub.
275
00:09:28,123 --> 00:09:29,559
But where?
276
00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:31,909
Where will these
rapscallions strike next?
277
00:09:31,953 --> 00:09:33,911
Well, I can tell you an obvious target.
278
00:09:33,955 --> 00:09:35,522
We're sitting in it.
279
00:09:35,565 --> 00:09:37,872
Sasappis is right.
This recently restored
280
00:09:37,915 --> 00:09:40,570
grand structure, all lit
up, it's begging to be hit.
281
00:09:40,614 --> 00:09:41,789
Yes, that's right.
282
00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:44,705
We must tell Samantha to turn
these lights off immediately.
283
00:09:44,748 --> 00:09:46,663
This place is a sitting duck.
284
00:09:46,707 --> 00:09:50,058
Thorfinn turn off lights. Easy.
285
00:09:50,101 --> 00:09:51,668
Very good.
286
00:09:57,935 --> 00:09:59,807
Gadzooks, what have you done?!
287
00:09:59,850 --> 00:10:01,852
Oh, oh, oh, oh...
288
00:10:01,896 --> 00:10:04,551
Go, go, go, go, go, go.
289
00:10:07,945 --> 00:10:09,860
Uh-oh.
290
00:10:09,904 --> 00:10:11,514
If anyone has a water
power they're sitting on,
291
00:10:11,558 --> 00:10:13,821
now would be a good time to use it.
292
00:10:18,095 --> 00:10:20,215
Oh, this isn't good. They
worked forever on this.
293
00:10:20,216 --> 00:10:24,247
I watched Jay sand for hours,
getting sweatier and sweatier...
294
00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:27,217
Maybe they won't notice.
295
00:10:27,470 --> 00:10:30,517
The Livings are not going to be happy.
296
00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:32,432
Well, the good news is there's
nothing they can really do.
297
00:10:32,475 --> 00:10:35,130
We're ghosts. We're impervious
to their worldly punishments.
298
00:10:35,173 --> 00:10:36,392
They could take away our TV.
299
00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:37,741
Wait, no.
300
00:10:37,785 --> 00:10:39,090
But there's a new season of The Bakeoff.
301
00:10:39,134 --> 00:10:41,963
No! No, no, no, no! Our gazebo!
302
00:10:42,006 --> 00:10:44,574
- Oh, my God.
- What happened? Did anybody see anything?
303
00:10:44,618 --> 00:10:47,055
Is actually funny story.
304
00:10:47,098 --> 00:10:48,230
It was the kids.
305
00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:49,840
- The kids did it.
- I got this.
306
00:10:49,884 --> 00:10:54,497
And that's-that's what happened,
and that's what we all saw.
307
00:10:54,541 --> 00:10:56,543
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
308
00:10:56,586 --> 00:10:57,631
What? What's going on?
309
00:10:57,674 --> 00:11:00,460
They're saying they saw those
kids burn down the gazebo.
310
00:11:00,503 --> 00:11:02,200
I-I can't believe this.
311
00:11:02,244 --> 00:11:03,463
Oh, my God, that kid
really follows through
312
00:11:03,506 --> 00:11:04,594
on a threat, doesn't he?
313
00:11:04,638 --> 00:11:07,945
The tiny fiends approached
with malice in their eyes,
314
00:11:07,989 --> 00:11:10,078
their torches held aloft.
315
00:11:10,121 --> 00:11:11,471
They had torches?
316
00:11:11,514 --> 00:11:12,602
Those tiny wooden torches.
317
00:11:12,646 --> 00:11:14,299
Matches, I believe you call them.
318
00:11:14,343 --> 00:11:15,475
Yes, that's the word I was looking for.
319
00:11:15,518 --> 00:11:16,606
Damn my female brain.
320
00:11:16,650 --> 00:11:18,434
This doesn't make any sense.
321
00:11:18,478 --> 00:11:20,305
I mean, they egg, they TP, but arson?
322
00:11:20,349 --> 00:11:23,308
- This is a major escalation.
- And yet it happened.
323
00:11:23,352 --> 00:11:26,137
As sad a comment on today's
youth though that may be.
324
00:11:26,181 --> 00:11:28,705
We're gonna have to call the cops.
325
00:11:28,749 --> 00:11:31,700
This is officially the
worst Halloween ever.
326
00:11:31,743 --> 00:11:33,362
Fine! I get it.
327
00:11:33,405 --> 00:11:35,538
I took you away from
all those fun parties,
328
00:11:35,582 --> 00:11:37,540
and then I called that kid's mommy,
329
00:11:37,584 --> 00:11:39,324
and now we have no gazebo,
and it's all my fault.
330
00:11:39,368 --> 00:11:40,369
I'm sorry, Jay.
331
00:11:44,025 --> 00:11:47,115
Man, I can't believe kids are
capable of this sort of thing.
332
00:11:47,158 --> 00:11:49,073
Didn't kids murder you?
333
00:11:49,117 --> 00:11:52,120
That was an accident,
I... I'm pretty sure.
334
00:11:52,163 --> 00:11:54,592
Well, we talked to the kids, and...
335
00:11:54,666 --> 00:11:55,797
they denied everything.
336
00:11:55,841 --> 00:11:57,669
The kid made a weird
throat slash gesture,
337
00:11:57,712 --> 00:11:58,974
and an hour later,
the gazebo burned down.
338
00:11:59,018 --> 00:12:00,628
Isn't that pretty damning?
339
00:12:00,672 --> 00:12:02,064
She'd have made a great lawyer
340
00:12:02,108 --> 00:12:04,154
had she not gone into
journalism or been born a woman.
341
00:12:04,197 --> 00:12:06,895
Okay, look, this is a small town.
342
00:12:06,939 --> 00:12:09,376
We know these kids, and
frankly, they're bad news.
343
00:12:09,420 --> 00:12:12,118
Nothing like arson before,
but maybe they just snapped.
344
00:12:12,162 --> 00:12:15,121
They did say that you
called their mommies.
345
00:12:15,165 --> 00:12:16,731
Listen, what's gonna
happen to these kids?
346
00:12:16,775 --> 00:12:18,168
Eh, we're looking at fines,
347
00:12:18,211 --> 00:12:19,560
maybe community service.
348
00:12:19,604 --> 00:12:21,997
They'll definitely kick
Zack off the basketball team.
349
00:12:22,041 --> 00:12:24,826
Yeah, what these kids
really burned down tonight
350
00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:26,263
was any hope for a bright future.
351
00:12:26,306 --> 00:12:27,916
Oh, boy.
352
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,832
- Keep it together, man.
- Have you noticed any other
353
00:12:30,876 --> 00:12:34,662
suspicious activity around the house?
354
00:12:34,706 --> 00:12:36,316
Mm... no.
355
00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:38,231
Well, would you mind
showing us to the, uh,
356
00:12:38,275 --> 00:12:40,842
uh, uh... the gazebo?
357
00:12:40,886 --> 00:12:42,670
Sure.
358
00:12:42,714 --> 00:12:44,411
You couldn't remember "gazebo"?
359
00:12:44,455 --> 00:12:46,152
Well, all's well that ends well.
360
00:12:46,196 --> 00:12:48,067
And, oh, God, I believe it's Sunday.
361
00:12:48,110 --> 00:12:49,938
Pete, I think it's time for Food Club.
362
00:12:49,982 --> 00:12:51,201
Oh, where did we leave off last week?
363
00:12:51,244 --> 00:12:52,376
Thor was talking about cod.
364
00:12:52,419 --> 00:12:54,247
Oh, yes, you're right. Absolutely.
365
00:12:54,291 --> 00:12:57,119
- It was quite a cliffhanger, if I recall.
- Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh!
366
00:12:57,163 --> 00:12:59,252
Not so fast.
367
00:12:59,296 --> 00:13:02,037
Something doesn't smell right here.
368
00:13:02,081 --> 00:13:04,126
I think everything
smells perfectly fine.
369
00:13:04,170 --> 00:13:07,956
Thorfinn, sounds like those
kids are in a lot of trouble.
370
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,393
Do you think they deserve it?
371
00:13:09,436 --> 00:13:11,221
Well, I mean...
372
00:13:11,264 --> 00:13:13,353
- Of course he thinks they deserve it.
- I didn't ask you.
373
00:13:13,397 --> 00:13:16,008
Spill it, iceberg.
What are you sitting on?
374
00:13:16,051 --> 00:13:20,839
Okay! Kids didn't do it. I did.
375
00:13:20,882 --> 00:13:22,710
- What?
- Good God, man,
376
00:13:22,754 --> 00:13:25,104
- that's all it took?
- How did you know?
377
00:13:25,147 --> 00:13:27,062
You date a two-timing
bootlegger for five years,
378
00:13:27,106 --> 00:13:29,804
- you learn to tell when someone's lying.
- It was an accident.
379
00:13:29,848 --> 00:13:31,284
Also, Isaac lie.
380
00:13:31,328 --> 00:13:33,330
Hetty and Sass went along.
381
00:13:33,373 --> 00:13:34,896
Sorry.
382
00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:36,289
Law of the sea.
383
00:13:36,333 --> 00:13:39,466
The ship goes down, we all perish.
384
00:13:39,510 --> 00:13:41,251
Well, we have to tell Sam.
385
00:13:41,294 --> 00:13:45,235
Look, maybe these kids didn't
commit this particular offense,
386
00:13:45,236 --> 00:13:48,253
but they have been terrorizing
Woodstone Mansion for years.
387
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,100
We can't just frame them.
388
00:13:50,183 --> 00:13:53,273
- This goes against everything I stand for.
- Oh, really, Pete?
389
00:13:53,316 --> 00:13:56,058
Because from where I'm
sitting, I see a man
390
00:13:56,102 --> 00:13:57,929
who for the past 40
years has blathered on
391
00:13:57,973 --> 00:14:00,454
about his "troop," and
things like loyalty.
392
00:14:00,497 --> 00:14:02,412
I mean, you literally
have a loyalty badge.
393
00:14:02,456 --> 00:14:05,372
- So?
- So we're your troop now.
394
00:14:05,415 --> 00:14:07,243
Your loyalty lies with us.
395
00:14:07,287 --> 00:14:11,030
So what's it gonna be, Pete,
the ghosts or the Livings, hmm?
396
00:14:12,074 --> 00:14:14,120
Trevor, back us up.
397
00:14:18,124 --> 00:14:19,255
I stand with Pete.
398
00:14:19,299 --> 00:14:21,866
Wait, what? But Pete's
on the side of good.
399
00:14:21,910 --> 00:14:23,259
I mean, the other side.
400
00:14:23,303 --> 00:14:26,958
We spend our days complaining
about how Halloween
401
00:14:27,002 --> 00:14:28,873
makes us out to be evil,
402
00:14:28,917 --> 00:14:32,834
and movies paint us to be the villains.
403
00:14:32,877 --> 00:14:34,836
But if we let some kids take the fall
404
00:14:34,879 --> 00:14:36,316
for something that we did,
405
00:14:36,359 --> 00:14:40,233
then aren't we exactly
what they say we are?
406
00:14:40,276 --> 00:14:43,105
And don't we deserve to be busted?
407
00:14:43,149 --> 00:14:45,281
Oh, amen.
408
00:14:45,325 --> 00:14:47,022
Really?
409
00:14:47,066 --> 00:14:48,154
He's the one doing the right thing?
410
00:14:48,197 --> 00:14:50,025
I really do feel bad now.
411
00:14:52,027 --> 00:14:53,855
Are you slow-clapping your own speech?
412
00:14:53,898 --> 00:14:55,465
You're damn right I am. They
haven't seen an '80s movie,
413
00:14:55,509 --> 00:14:57,902
and you didn't start it, so I have to.
414
00:15:12,265 --> 00:15:14,005
That's weird.
415
00:15:15,181 --> 00:15:17,531
There's some charred wood over there.
416
00:15:17,574 --> 00:15:19,576
Is that part of the gazebo?
417
00:15:19,620 --> 00:15:21,839
Why would they drag it over there?
418
00:15:21,883 --> 00:15:23,841
Oh, no, no, no. That's our canoe.
419
00:15:23,885 --> 00:15:25,495
Yeah, yeah, we dragged
it up from the lake.
420
00:15:25,539 --> 00:15:28,237
Hold up. You're the folks
that burned down the canoe
421
00:15:28,281 --> 00:15:29,281
a few weeks ago.
422
00:15:29,282 --> 00:15:30,544
I didn't get a good look at you.
423
00:15:30,587 --> 00:15:31,980
Well, here we are.
424
00:15:32,023 --> 00:15:33,199
And now you're claiming that some kids
425
00:15:33,242 --> 00:15:34,591
burned down your gazebo?
426
00:15:34,635 --> 00:15:36,071
Okay, it doesn't look great.
427
00:15:36,115 --> 00:15:37,942
- Yeah, but we're not arsonists.
- No.
428
00:15:37,986 --> 00:15:40,031
Although if we were
arsonists, we would definitely
429
00:15:40,075 --> 00:15:41,424
deny being arsonists.
430
00:15:41,468 --> 00:15:43,209
'Cause that would... I'm
not gonna talk anymore.
431
00:15:43,252 --> 00:15:45,167
Why would we burn down our own gazebo?
432
00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:47,082
Why would you burn down your own canoe?
433
00:15:47,126 --> 00:15:49,040
- We had zero to do with this.
- Zero.
434
00:15:49,084 --> 00:15:51,173
- This was 100% those kids.
- It was the kids.
435
00:15:51,217 --> 00:15:52,348
And frankly, we're a little offended
436
00:15:52,392 --> 00:15:54,481
that you would even accuse
us of something so heinous.
437
00:15:54,524 --> 00:15:56,004
A quick word if I may, Samantha.
438
00:15:56,047 --> 00:15:58,137
It wasn't the kids. We lied.
439
00:15:58,180 --> 00:15:59,355
We burned down the gazebo.
440
00:15:59,399 --> 00:16:01,531
So, okay, carry on.
441
00:16:03,272 --> 00:16:05,535
Although actually, it may
not have been the kids.
442
00:16:05,579 --> 00:16:07,058
What?
443
00:16:07,102 --> 00:16:10,427
Yeah, it's sort of coming to me
now. Gosh, this is embarrassing.
444
00:16:10,491 --> 00:16:12,101
Ma'am, what's going on?
445
00:16:12,345 --> 00:16:15,348
I had a cigarette earlier.
446
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:18,133
I recently started smoking again.
447
00:16:18,177 --> 00:16:20,266
And I thought I put it out,
448
00:16:20,309 --> 00:16:21,571
but now that I'm
thinking about it again,
449
00:16:21,615 --> 00:16:23,399
maybe it wasn't completely out.
450
00:16:23,443 --> 00:16:25,358
And you just remembered this now?
451
00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:26,924
I didn't want Jay to find out.
452
00:16:26,968 --> 00:16:29,188
And, uh, then the lies just
sort of started piling up
453
00:16:29,231 --> 00:16:30,990
on top of each other, and
then he called you guys.
454
00:16:31,178 --> 00:16:33,200
Okay, Jim, I think we
should wrap this up.
455
00:16:33,301 --> 00:16:35,042
Ma'am, if you have any other problems,
456
00:16:35,085 --> 00:16:36,086
please lose our number.
457
00:16:36,130 --> 00:16:39,220
That's more than fair. Thank you.
458
00:16:39,263 --> 00:16:40,743
- Sorry.
- You're smoking?
459
00:16:40,787 --> 00:16:42,275
You should be ashamed of yourself.
460
00:16:42,398 --> 00:16:43,834
Jay, the ghosts burned down the gazebo.
461
00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:45,619
What do you mean the
ghosts burned it down? How?
462
00:16:45,662 --> 00:16:48,230
I don't know, but they
are in big trouble.
463
00:16:48,274 --> 00:16:51,189
W-Well, what, can they shoot
lasers out of their eyes?
464
00:16:51,190 --> 00:16:52,191
That would be so cool.
465
00:16:52,234 --> 00:16:54,236
I mean terrifying, but so cool!
466
00:16:57,283 --> 00:16:59,023
Samantha, we want you to know that
467
00:16:59,067 --> 00:17:01,112
- we just feel terrible.
- Yes.
468
00:17:01,156 --> 00:17:02,505
And we would like to
take this opportunity
469
00:17:02,549 --> 00:17:05,682
to formally apologize
for this evening's, um,
470
00:17:05,726 --> 00:17:08,207
you know what, let's call
them missteps, shall we?
471
00:17:08,250 --> 00:17:10,209
Because I think we all
learned a very valuable les...
472
00:17:10,252 --> 00:17:11,688
- Shut it, Isaac.
- Ooh. Yep.
473
00:17:11,732 --> 00:17:13,386
Tonight was unacceptable.
474
00:17:13,429 --> 00:17:16,302
You guys destroyed our
property, then lied about it,
475
00:17:16,345 --> 00:17:18,260
then tried to get children arrested.
476
00:17:18,304 --> 00:17:20,044
You're no wise council of elders.
477
00:17:20,088 --> 00:17:21,524
You know what they are?
478
00:17:21,568 --> 00:17:23,047
They're the children in this scenario.
479
00:17:23,091 --> 00:17:24,135
- Yes.
- Mm-hmm.
480
00:17:24,179 --> 00:17:26,225
Nuh-uh! It was Thor. He started it.
481
00:17:26,268 --> 00:17:29,097
Just so you know, not
all of us were to blame.
482
00:17:29,140 --> 00:17:30,315
I gave a big speech about
doing the right thing.
483
00:17:30,316 --> 00:17:32,231
- It was very
moving. - Mm-hmm.
484
00:17:32,274 --> 00:17:33,449
Someone started a slow-clap.
485
00:17:33,493 --> 00:17:34,581
I don't want to hear it.
486
00:17:34,624 --> 00:17:36,060
You know what children need
487
00:17:36,104 --> 00:17:37,584
when they do something wrong, babe?
488
00:17:37,627 --> 00:17:40,195
You give 'em consequences.
489
00:17:40,239 --> 00:17:42,284
That's true, Jay. I like that.
490
00:17:42,328 --> 00:17:44,765
Small man using our
own words against us.
491
00:17:44,808 --> 00:17:46,201
Not loving where this is headed.
492
00:17:46,245 --> 00:17:48,334
No TV, one week.
493
00:17:48,377 --> 00:17:49,813
But The Bakeoff!
494
00:17:49,814 --> 00:17:50,814
- Oh, no!
- All of us?!
495
00:17:50,815 --> 00:17:52,686
- It's football season.
- Come on!
496
00:17:52,729 --> 00:17:54,601
You guys did this. Come on!
497
00:17:58,204 --> 00:18:00,302
What's the latest?
498
00:18:00,346 --> 00:18:01,782
Ooh, they left the rooftop,
499
00:18:01,825 --> 00:18:03,479
and now they're at a warehouse party
500
00:18:03,523 --> 00:18:05,089
in the Meatpacking District.
501
00:18:05,133 --> 00:18:07,091
Oh, sounds fun.
502
00:18:07,135 --> 00:18:10,399
Yeah. We would've crushed that.
503
00:18:10,443 --> 00:18:14,664
Well, without storming off or
yelling and in all sincerity,
504
00:18:14,708 --> 00:18:17,276
I'm sorry you had a lame Halloween.
505
00:18:17,319 --> 00:18:20,279
Yeah, that's the thing, I didn't.
506
00:18:20,322 --> 00:18:22,019
What do you mean?
507
00:18:22,063 --> 00:18:25,196
Um, our gazebo got burned down by ghosts
508
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:29,026
on Halloween, in front
of our haunted house.
509
00:18:29,070 --> 00:18:31,768
We by far had the coolest
Halloween of all our friends.
510
00:18:31,812 --> 00:18:33,117
Really?
511
00:18:33,161 --> 00:18:34,293
Yeah. When we first
moved here from New York,
512
00:18:34,336 --> 00:18:36,120
I thought our lives were gonna be boring
513
00:18:36,164 --> 00:18:38,471
and slow, but after tonight,
514
00:18:38,514 --> 00:18:42,301
turns out they're gonna be anything but.
515
00:18:42,344 --> 00:18:44,564
You're okay stuck out
here alone with me?
516
00:18:44,607 --> 00:18:47,567
Hell yeah. You're all I need.
517
00:18:49,438 --> 00:18:51,440
You're my stepbrother.
518
00:18:51,484 --> 00:18:53,703
No, you're my stepbrother.
519
00:18:53,747 --> 00:18:55,618
Well, this is just disturbing.
520
00:18:55,662 --> 00:18:56,663
Didn't you marry your cousin?
521
00:19:03,060 --> 00:19:05,759
So, how are the ghosts
taking their punishment?
522
00:19:05,802 --> 00:19:07,456
They're not loving it.
523
00:19:07,500 --> 00:19:09,676
Yeah, I wasn't stoked on no TV either,
524
00:19:09,719 --> 00:19:11,765
but it's kind of peaceful.
525
00:19:11,808 --> 00:19:13,114
- This is so unfair!
- Oh, come on!
526
00:19:13,157 --> 00:19:14,420
We did nothing wrong!
527
00:19:14,463 --> 00:19:15,769
I think they've learned their lesson.
528
00:19:15,812 --> 00:19:17,379
Mm-mm, stay strong.
529
00:19:17,423 --> 00:19:19,381
Maybe we just put on
something educational.
530
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:30,000
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
39203
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