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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:42,333 --> 00:01:44,917 Don't be such a wimp. The guy's right there. 2 00:02:03,750 --> 00:02:05,042 I told you, Colleen, 3 00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:07,309 if you're gonna pull this crap, you could've stayed home. 4 00:02:07,333 --> 00:02:09,708 Will you just leave me alone, you idiot? 5 00:02:09,875 --> 00:02:11,542 Well... 6 00:02:11,708 --> 00:02:13,083 Jerk. 7 00:02:13,250 --> 00:02:15,667 Come on already. 8 00:02:32,083 --> 00:02:34,083 Two tickets, please. 9 00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:40,667 Round trip or one way? 10 00:02:46,292 --> 00:02:50,042 Go on, get on. It's not gonna bite you. 11 00:03:30,583 --> 00:03:32,792 You see? It's all fake, you little baby. 12 00:03:32,958 --> 00:03:34,417 Don't you feel stupid now? 13 00:03:43,042 --> 00:03:45,042 Oooh. 14 00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:13,875 Look at that devil face. 15 00:04:17,750 --> 00:04:19,667 You're not looking. Look. 16 00:04:19,833 --> 00:04:23,042 Mmm, it's kind of cool. 17 00:04:24,833 --> 00:04:26,958 Stop it, jerk! Ha! 18 00:04:27,125 --> 00:04:29,667 Oh, poor baby. Want me to change your diaper? 19 00:04:39,583 --> 00:04:41,125 Whoa, look at that. 20 00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:51,292 Imagine if this whole ride shut down right now. 21 00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,792 We would have to find our way back out on foot. 22 00:04:53,958 --> 00:04:55,667 It might take hours. 23 00:04:55,833 --> 00:04:59,167 Look at that fire, Colleen. That's awesome. 24 00:05:00,208 --> 00:05:01,708 You're not looking. 25 00:05:03,708 --> 00:05:07,000 You are such a little girl, Colleen. You know that? 26 00:05:07,167 --> 00:05:09,583 I'm gonna start calling you 'Colleen cry baby'. 27 00:05:09,750 --> 00:05:11,958 I knew I should have left you at home, Colleen cry baby. 28 00:05:12,125 --> 00:05:14,875 I'm gonna make you get out and walk this ride all by yourself. 29 00:05:19,083 --> 00:05:21,250 You know what... 30 00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:26,042 Sam! 31 00:05:29,833 --> 00:05:33,875 I'll ride your stupid... ride. 32 00:09:39,042 --> 00:09:42,000 Cathy, am I even gonna need a bathing suit in New Orleans? 33 00:09:42,167 --> 00:09:43,625 I don't think so, Liz. 34 00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:46,351 Oh, unless you're gonna pull your top down for 'girls gone stupid'. 35 00:09:46,375 --> 00:09:48,125 What, like this? Whoo! 36 00:09:48,292 --> 00:09:50,750 You know you're going to. You'd love that. 37 00:09:50,917 --> 00:09:52,625 Can you tell me again why we're going there 38 00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:55,958 and not some place with palm trees and umbrella drinks? 39 00:09:56,125 --> 00:09:57,625 Look at it like this. 40 00:09:57,792 --> 00:10:00,592 The money that we're going to save by enduring this trip with the boys, 41 00:10:00,750 --> 00:10:02,583 and I do mean 'endure', 42 00:10:02,750 --> 00:10:06,583 will more than make up for food, fun and anything else we might need. 43 00:10:06,750 --> 00:10:10,083 Think of it as business, not pleasure, Liz. 44 00:10:10,250 --> 00:10:14,583 I'm glad you suggested we go to New Orleans. It's retro. You feeling me? 45 00:10:14,750 --> 00:10:16,917 It's like something our grandparents would have done. 46 00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:19,601 Yeah, well, I was kind of hoping the female population down there 47 00:10:19,625 --> 00:10:21,083 skewed younger than that. 48 00:10:21,250 --> 00:10:23,583 When they were our age, you freak show. 49 00:10:23,750 --> 00:10:24,792 Right. 50 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:27,458 Anyway, spring break's become this market-laden excuse 51 00:10:27,625 --> 00:10:29,667 for multinational consumer product companies 52 00:10:29,833 --> 00:10:33,167 to pass out samples of shit like deodorant and condoms. 53 00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:37,542 Fuck! 'Final cut'. Dude, I love this book. 54 00:10:37,708 --> 00:10:39,250 What are you doing reading this? 55 00:10:39,417 --> 00:10:41,542 You gave it to me for my birthday. 56 00:10:43,167 --> 00:10:45,958 Take it out of the bag and put one of these in instead. 57 00:10:46,125 --> 00:10:48,125 We're going to spring break, not to the library. 58 00:10:48,292 --> 00:10:49,750 What is this? 59 00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:54,250 It's a condom and you have to use it when you're not having sex with her. 60 00:10:54,417 --> 00:10:57,250 You know about her? 61 00:10:59,167 --> 00:11:01,292 You know that Jim's driving us, right? 62 00:11:01,458 --> 00:11:03,333 Yeah, I know that. 63 00:11:03,500 --> 00:11:06,708 Are you ok with that after what happened? 64 00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:08,417 What happened was I got really drunk 65 00:11:08,583 --> 00:11:10,976 and I hooked up with someone I shouldn't have hooked up with. 66 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,333 It happened once. Come on. 67 00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:13,875 You do it every weekend. 68 00:11:14,042 --> 00:11:15,708 Once. Stop. 69 00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:17,792 It's like the measles. It's out of my system. 70 00:11:17,958 --> 00:11:19,792 Ok, ok. Drop it. 71 00:11:23,042 --> 00:11:26,042 You do know how I get when I get a few drinks in me. 72 00:11:26,208 --> 00:11:29,542 I could basically probably hook up with anyone. 73 00:11:29,708 --> 00:11:31,458 I think the whole school knows how you get. 74 00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:32,958 Shut up. 75 00:11:33,125 --> 00:11:37,167 Do you realise that Michael cimino almost bankrupted united artists 76 00:11:37,333 --> 00:11:38,875 wtth heaven's gate'? 77 00:11:39,042 --> 00:11:41,167 It's just such an abuse of production. 78 00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:43,792 Why don't you take it down a notch with the movie mania? 79 00:11:43,958 --> 00:11:45,917 We're trying to fit in. 80 00:11:46,083 --> 00:11:47,500 What's the deal with you and Steve? 81 00:11:47,667 --> 00:11:51,000 I don't know. My whole situation reeks of cliche. 82 00:11:51,167 --> 00:11:54,167 I mean, all this together, apart, together, apart... 83 00:11:54,333 --> 00:11:55,875 I'm fucking dizzy at this point. 84 00:11:56,042 --> 00:11:58,458 And then the shit he pulled this semester. 85 00:11:58,625 --> 00:12:00,042 So what did you tell him? 86 00:12:00,208 --> 00:12:02,542 I like the sound of alone. 87 00:12:02,708 --> 00:12:04,375 Do you still love him? 88 00:12:04,542 --> 00:12:06,042 I don't know. 89 00:12:06,208 --> 00:12:08,667 You know, I'm 19 years old. What do I know about love? 90 00:12:08,833 --> 00:12:11,583 I highly doubt that quickies in the dorm room 91 00:12:11,750 --> 00:12:15,875 and a romantic Saturday evening by a frat keg qualify. 92 00:12:16,042 --> 00:12:17,625 I look at it like this. 93 00:12:17,792 --> 00:12:21,583 I mean, if I can get through this trip as friends, 94 00:12:21,750 --> 00:12:23,208 then that's all she wrote. 95 00:12:23,375 --> 00:12:27,625 If I can't keep my hands off him, then, well, we'll see. 96 00:12:27,792 --> 00:12:32,750 Oh, so you're taking the scientific approach? 97 00:12:32,917 --> 00:12:34,917 Do you still love her? 98 00:12:36,708 --> 00:12:38,851 If we don't fuck during vacation, I'm guessing it's done. 99 00:12:38,875 --> 00:12:41,333 If she can't keep her hands off me, we'll see. 100 00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:43,750 So you're taking the Tommy Lee approach. 101 00:12:43,917 --> 00:12:45,542 You can say that. 102 00:12:45,708 --> 00:12:49,125 Oh, god, yeah. It was totally nuts. 103 00:12:49,292 --> 00:12:51,250 Hi. 104 00:12:51,417 --> 00:12:52,833 Oh, god, there they are. 105 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:55,083 Hey. Wait a minute. 106 00:12:55,250 --> 00:12:57,083 Why would you want them to come with us 107 00:12:57,250 --> 00:12:59,042 if you don't think you two are still dating? 108 00:13:01,333 --> 00:13:03,309 Doesn't the expression “bringing sand to the beach” 109 00:13:03,333 --> 00:13:04,667 mean anything to you? 110 00:13:04,833 --> 00:13:06,125 I'm not too worried about it, 111 00:13:06,292 --> 00:13:09,250 although I gotta admit it does kind of blow my hitchhiker fantasy. 112 00:13:10,458 --> 00:13:12,583 What? You always wanted to blow a hitchhiker? 113 00:13:15,333 --> 00:13:17,125 Steve: Hey. Hi. 114 00:13:17,292 --> 00:13:19,417 Hey. Hello. 115 00:13:19,583 --> 00:13:22,792 How are you doing? How you doing? 116 00:13:22,958 --> 00:13:25,667 Man: Ok, gang. So we all set to do this or what? 117 00:13:26,958 --> 00:13:28,500 Big daddy's gotta go. 118 00:13:28,667 --> 00:13:31,292 Well, when's big daddy gonna come home? 119 00:13:31,458 --> 00:13:35,583 The road's calling, honey. I gotta go. 120 00:13:47,875 --> 00:13:49,750 'Bye. See ya. 121 00:13:49,917 --> 00:13:53,417 What's up, man? Hey, dog. What's shaking? 122 00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:02,125 Elizabeth, it's been a long time. 123 00:14:02,292 --> 00:14:07,208 Time was the only long thing you ever gave me, big daddy. 124 00:14:07,375 --> 00:14:08,875 And it's Liz. 125 00:14:09,042 --> 00:14:11,250 Ouch. 126 00:14:17,042 --> 00:14:19,875 You got AAA for this dump? 127 00:14:20,042 --> 00:14:22,667 Seriously, you guys, 128 00:14:22,833 --> 00:14:25,375 don't talk shit about my baby. 129 00:14:25,542 --> 00:14:27,208 They didn't mean it. 130 00:14:27,375 --> 00:14:29,792 The '70s called. They want your baby back. 131 00:14:29,958 --> 00:14:32,583 That is so funny. He's creative. 132 00:14:32,750 --> 00:14:34,250 Liz: He's like the kissing bandit. 133 00:14:34,417 --> 00:14:38,250 Bill, thanks for the invite, man. Should be a lot of fun. 134 00:14:38,417 --> 00:14:41,417 Yeah, no, I'm just happy to be invited. 135 00:14:41,583 --> 00:14:44,708 Boy's gonna get him some tail. My boy's gonna get him some tail. 136 00:14:44,875 --> 00:14:46,515 Come on, stop it. 137 00:14:46,625 --> 00:14:49,625 You wouldn't hurt a cripple. 138 00:14:51,417 --> 00:14:53,875 Hello, 'midnight cowboy'? 139 00:14:55,208 --> 00:14:59,083 John schlesinger, you know? Jon voight — Joe buck. 140 00:15:00,083 --> 00:15:01,667 Guys, it's a classic. 141 00:15:01,833 --> 00:15:03,273 It's the first and only x-rated film 142 00:15:03,417 --> 00:15:06,250 ever to win an Oscar for best picture. 143 00:15:07,250 --> 00:15:09,458 Who are you people? 144 00:15:12,542 --> 00:15:14,125 You've never heard of it? 145 00:15:15,125 --> 00:15:16,625 I love the shag. 146 00:15:16,792 --> 00:15:19,250 Alright, let's hit the road, kids. Everybody buckle up. 147 00:15:22,833 --> 00:15:28,000 Song: J' making change in factions 148 00:15:31,958 --> 00:15:37,250 j' yeah, the kids are alright 149 00:15:41,042 --> 00:15:45,250 j' it's a scene every night 150 00:15:54,750 --> 00:15:57,292 I if the best is really yet to come 151 00:15:57,458 --> 00:16:02,375 j' we'd all stay longer 152 00:16:02,542 --> 00:16:07,833 I and all the seasons that we ran too quickly through 153 00:16:09,042 --> 00:16:16,042 I have passed... I 154 00:16:28,083 --> 00:16:30,750 Steve: I guess it's a self-serve. 155 00:16:30,917 --> 00:16:33,875 Are you sure this place is open? 156 00:16:34,042 --> 00:16:37,417 Jim: Well, the lights are on. So, yes, |do. 157 00:16:37,583 --> 00:16:40,500 Steve: Maybe the guy's taking a shit. 158 00:16:42,417 --> 00:16:44,500 Jim: Must be free gas Friday. 159 00:16:44,667 --> 00:16:46,792 No, come on, guys. Don't screw around. 160 00:16:46,958 --> 00:16:48,750 Steve: Just go check around in the office. 161 00:16:58,500 --> 00:17:01,458 Bill: Hello? 162 00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:08,542 Hello? 163 00:17:18,417 --> 00:17:21,542 Hi. How are you doing? 164 00:17:32,042 --> 00:17:35,000 '78, that's a good year. 165 00:17:35,167 --> 00:17:38,167 Yeah. 'Deer hunter' won best picture. 166 00:17:40,333 --> 00:17:43,542 Guess you didn't happen to catch that one. 167 00:17:44,625 --> 00:17:47,042 Yeah, it had this incredible Russian roulette scene. 168 00:17:49,167 --> 00:17:52,458 “Nicky! Nicky!” 169 00:17:55,833 --> 00:17:58,958 Know of any good places to eat around here? 170 00:17:59,958 --> 00:18:03,708 Ok, um, have a good night. 171 00:18:18,375 --> 00:18:22,417 The old guy in the back, he didn't say a word to me. 172 00:18:22,583 --> 00:18:26,167 I don't know. You guys figure it out. I gotta go to the bathroom. 173 00:18:27,167 --> 00:18:30,667 Dude, your boy can't even handle the gas station attendant? 174 00:18:30,833 --> 00:18:32,417 He's working on it. 175 00:18:35,042 --> 00:18:36,500 Hello? 176 00:18:42,417 --> 00:18:43,792 Just drop some cash and let's jet. 177 00:18:43,958 --> 00:18:47,125 Dude, all I have are 20s. Not happening. 178 00:18:48,875 --> 00:18:50,583 “No matter how much you shake the dance 179 00:18:50,750 --> 00:18:53,167 “the last drop ends up on your pants.” 180 00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:56,208 Poetic but true. 181 00:19:08,083 --> 00:19:11,583 It's the vanishing man. 182 00:19:15,292 --> 00:19:17,667 What? 183 00:19:18,667 --> 00:19:21,125 You think I have another shot with Liz? 184 00:19:21,292 --> 00:19:23,917 Ok, where'd this guy go? Hey, excuse me. 185 00:19:25,792 --> 00:19:27,625 To pay for some gas and get out of here? 186 00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:31,583 That'll be $16 even. Here's a coupon for your friend out there. 187 00:19:31,750 --> 00:19:33,542 He mentioned he'd like to get some grub. 188 00:19:33,708 --> 00:19:35,458 Stuckey ribs is the best in the area. 189 00:19:35,625 --> 00:19:39,167 This'll save you $2.50 on every entree. 190 00:19:39,333 --> 00:19:41,125 Thank you. That's very helpful of you. 191 00:19:41,292 --> 00:19:42,875 Now about that blow job... 192 00:19:50,125 --> 00:19:53,125 Jim tried to give an old guy a blow job. 193 00:19:53,292 --> 00:19:55,792 No, I didn't, asshole. Cathy: What happened? 194 00:19:55,958 --> 00:19:57,792 You should have seen the guy in there, man. 195 00:19:57,958 --> 00:20:01,500 He was talking to us about coupons, about gas in this town. 196 00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:03,387 Steve: And we got a coupon for a restaurant. 197 00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:04,833 Liz, where's bill? 198 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,917 Liz: I don't know. I thought he was with you. 199 00:20:07,083 --> 00:20:08,458 Right here. Here, here, here. 200 00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:11,042 Look at this. Look. Look at what I found in the bathroom. 201 00:20:11,208 --> 00:20:12,875 Liz: What, another std? 202 00:20:13,042 --> 00:20:15,583 Another std? Another? 203 00:20:15,750 --> 00:20:18,750 “Bleedings from asbury park, 204 00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:21,167 “the Jersey shore's infamous historic attraction. 205 00:20:21,333 --> 00:20:23,693 “25 of the most terrifying rooms for your horrific pleasure. 206 00:20:23,833 --> 00:20:28,583 “The dark ride celebrates its grand reopening April 17.” 207 00:20:28,750 --> 00:20:32,917 Let me see that, dude. No, I know about this thing. I heard about it. 208 00:20:33,083 --> 00:20:35,292 Really? And that makes you cool how? 209 00:20:36,708 --> 00:20:38,292 Very lame. 210 00:20:38,458 --> 00:20:40,667 There's things like this at every amusement park. 211 00:20:40,833 --> 00:20:42,125 Yeah, and Ferris wheels. 212 00:20:42,292 --> 00:20:44,875 Big scary Ferris wheels. 213 00:20:46,792 --> 00:20:50,458 Ok, wait. What is a dark ride? 214 00:20:50,625 --> 00:20:54,167 It's the horror attraction at amusement parks or boardwalks. 215 00:20:54,333 --> 00:20:56,458 Yeah, it's like that 'little rascals' episode 216 00:20:56,625 --> 00:20:58,000 from the '20s on coney island. 217 00:20:58,167 --> 00:20:59,542 Dtclh't eateh tt. 218 00:20:59,708 --> 00:21:03,125 It's basically carts on tracks, slamming through doors. 219 00:21:03,292 --> 00:21:06,417 I love those things. They're so scary. 220 00:21:06,583 --> 00:21:08,292 No, I read about this place. 221 00:21:08,458 --> 00:21:10,476 Something happened in there. This is the real thing. 222 00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:12,500 The place has been shut down for, like, 20 years. 223 00:21:12,667 --> 00:21:14,507 It's gotta be the first time it's opened since. 224 00:21:14,625 --> 00:21:16,875 Well, it must have been quite a 'something' 225 00:21:17,042 --> 00:21:19,417 to shut the whole place down for that long. 226 00:22:06,583 --> 00:22:09,958 Yoo-hoo! Anybody home? 227 00:22:37,792 --> 00:22:39,667 Strictly vegetarian, my ass. 228 00:22:39,833 --> 00:22:42,208 Why is this freak always on the floor? 229 00:22:42,375 --> 00:22:47,500 I know your face is all fucked up but you don't gotta hide from us. 230 00:22:47,667 --> 00:22:49,417 We're your friends, buddy. 231 00:22:49,583 --> 00:22:54,542 What's the matter? You don't fancy the accommodation, sir? 232 00:22:54,708 --> 00:22:58,500 Your mattress too soft? No chocolate on the pillows? 233 00:23:00,750 --> 00:23:04,875 They've been keeping you on carrots and codeine for a long time now. 234 00:23:05,042 --> 00:23:07,958 I know you don't think you're special. 235 00:23:08,125 --> 00:23:11,375 Well, seems to me it's about time for a change. 236 00:23:12,542 --> 00:23:14,042 You hear me, freak? 237 00:23:14,208 --> 00:23:16,917 I think some good old usda prime beef 238 00:23:17,083 --> 00:23:19,083 might be just what the doctor ordered. 239 00:23:20,083 --> 00:23:22,708 A little bit of iron ought to toughen you right up. 240 00:23:22,875 --> 00:23:26,417 Let's get out of here. This is a stupid idea. 241 00:23:27,417 --> 00:23:30,083 Look at his ears. I think he's deaf. 242 00:23:30,250 --> 00:23:33,625 He don't give a shit what you feed him. 243 00:23:33,792 --> 00:23:36,625 But I hear vegetarians get sick if they eat meat. 244 00:23:36,792 --> 00:23:39,375 I just want to see if that's true is all. 245 00:23:39,542 --> 00:23:41,542 I mean, this is a hospital. 246 00:23:41,708 --> 00:23:45,000 There's nothing wrong with a little bit of a scientific experiment. 247 00:23:47,333 --> 00:23:50,333 Let's go and mess with the girls. That's more fun. 248 00:23:50,500 --> 00:23:55,125 What? You're in a rush now? We got all night. Give me that meat. 249 00:23:58,958 --> 00:24:01,250 Oh, yeah. 250 00:24:02,250 --> 00:24:05,208 Dinnertime, dickhead. 251 00:24:09,375 --> 00:24:11,625 What's the matter? Is it too bloody for you? 252 00:24:11,792 --> 00:24:13,167 A little bit too rare? 253 00:24:13,333 --> 00:24:15,167 You want me to send it back to the chef 254 00:24:15,333 --> 00:24:17,417 so he can cook it up just right for you? 255 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:20,417 What's the matter? 256 00:24:21,417 --> 00:24:25,583 This is a bust. You're wasting a perfectly good piece of meat. 257 00:24:33,792 --> 00:24:36,458 Well, maybe the poor baby's got a cold. 258 00:24:37,458 --> 00:24:40,125 He could be allergic. Let's get out of here. 259 00:24:40,292 --> 00:24:43,917 You're not allergic, are you? Eat. 260 00:24:44,083 --> 00:24:47,125 Eat it. Essen! 261 00:24:48,417 --> 00:24:51,583 This is choice stuff, put some hair on your... 262 00:25:08,875 --> 00:25:10,583 ”Chest 263 00:26:48,250 --> 00:26:51,292 Hey, have any of you guys actually ever been to one of these places? 264 00:26:51,458 --> 00:26:54,125 Steve: I went to something like this when I was a kid in Orlando. 265 00:26:54,292 --> 00:26:57,292 It scared the crap out of me. I had nightmares for two years after that. 266 00:26:57,458 --> 00:26:59,000 Cathy: You always have nightmares. 267 00:26:59,167 --> 00:27:01,917 Only when I think about your face. 268 00:27:02,083 --> 00:27:04,667 You guys are not gonna have that problem on this trip. 269 00:27:04,833 --> 00:27:07,375 We pass by the joint three days before it opens. 270 00:27:07,542 --> 00:27:09,083 Hey, did someone just say 'joint'? 271 00:27:09,250 --> 00:27:12,417 That's too bad. Sounds like it could have been fun. 272 00:27:12,583 --> 00:27:15,542 Oh, bullshit, Liz. A beggar says "boo,” and you get scared straight. 273 00:27:15,708 --> 00:27:17,143 You never would've gone in the place. 274 00:27:17,167 --> 00:27:19,917 You're only all tough about it now 'cause the option's off the table. 275 00:27:20,083 --> 00:27:22,000 It's kiddie shit. Of course I would have gone. 276 00:27:22,167 --> 00:27:25,792 I bet cash money you would never even set foot in the place. 277 00:27:25,958 --> 00:27:28,875 You're such a fucking cheating asshole, Steve. I'll take that bet. 278 00:27:29,042 --> 00:27:30,583 You gotta be the toughest, coolest, 279 00:27:30,750 --> 00:27:33,250 bravest person in the fucking room, in every room. 280 00:27:33,417 --> 00:27:35,083 You guys, come on. Chill out. 281 00:27:35,250 --> 00:27:37,292 There is one way to settle this. 282 00:27:37,458 --> 00:27:39,083 How's that? 283 00:27:39,250 --> 00:27:41,875 Anybody feel like saving a little money on a room tonight? 284 00:27:42,042 --> 00:27:43,708 No way! 285 00:27:43,875 --> 00:27:49,333 Why not way? Come on, let's do it. I mean, we can do whatever we want. 286 00:27:49,500 --> 00:27:51,625 Yeah. Yeah, it could be cool. 287 00:27:51,792 --> 00:27:55,292 All I ever read about is how doomed our generation is, ok, 288 00:27:55,458 --> 00:27:58,875 how we do nothing and we have it so easy. 289 00:27:59,042 --> 00:28:00,792 So let's do something. 290 00:28:00,958 --> 00:28:03,083 I'm in. 291 00:28:03,250 --> 00:28:05,208 Try to keep me away. Cathy: You're all nuts. 292 00:28:05,375 --> 00:28:08,542 Fuck the motel, guys. This sounds really fucking cool. 293 00:28:08,708 --> 00:28:11,458 This is something we're gonna be talking about for a long time. 294 00:28:11,625 --> 00:28:13,792 Bill: I think we should check it out, ok? 295 00:28:13,958 --> 00:28:17,792 If it's cool, we'll go in. If not, we'll leave. 296 00:28:17,958 --> 00:28:20,667 Steve: Ok, sounds like a plan. 297 00:28:21,667 --> 00:28:24,292 Bill: Look, guys, if we stay in the dark ride tonight 298 00:28:24,458 --> 00:28:28,792 we increase our funding supplies for spring break, if you catch my drift. 299 00:28:53,250 --> 00:28:55,042 Good god. 300 00:28:56,083 --> 00:28:58,667 Holy shit. Steve: What? 301 00:29:02,875 --> 00:29:05,000 Bill, how much longer? 302 00:29:05,167 --> 00:29:08,083 On what? That would depend. 303 00:29:08,250 --> 00:29:10,250 On whether Jim picks up this hitchhiker. 304 00:29:10,417 --> 00:29:11,750 What? Jim, do not stop this Van. 305 00:29:11,917 --> 00:29:13,792 Steve: Hey, that was my fantasy. 306 00:29:13,958 --> 00:29:17,458 This is almost as good as the old man at the gas station. 307 00:29:17,625 --> 00:29:19,792 I bet she's either a psycho or a nympho. 308 00:29:19,958 --> 00:29:21,917 Well, what is she doing out here all by herself? 309 00:29:22,083 --> 00:29:24,125 She's a homeless, psychotic nymphomaniac. 310 00:29:24,292 --> 00:29:25,875 Where's she gonna be, park Avenue? 311 00:29:26,042 --> 00:29:27,500 Cathy: How do we know she is alone? 312 00:29:27,667 --> 00:29:31,167 Maybe her boyfriend's waiting behind her 20 feet with a chainsaw. 313 00:29:31,333 --> 00:29:32,792 Maybe her car broke down. 314 00:29:32,958 --> 00:29:34,292 She teehs hthcll of broke clown. 315 00:29:34,458 --> 00:29:36,208 I don't see a car. 316 00:29:36,375 --> 00:29:39,333 You know, guys, I saw this one 'twilight zone' episode... 317 00:29:39,500 --> 00:29:41,000 Cathy: Shh! 318 00:29:41,167 --> 00:29:45,708 I feel obliged to pick up this hot piece of ass. 319 00:29:45,875 --> 00:29:47,250 Call it my civic duty. 320 00:29:47,417 --> 00:29:49,375 Call it your raging hard-on. 321 00:29:55,458 --> 00:29:57,625 Hello. Hi. 322 00:29:57,792 --> 00:29:59,917 Hop in. 323 00:30:00,083 --> 00:30:01,708 Woman: Awesome. Alright. 324 00:30:05,333 --> 00:30:07,458 Move. 325 00:30:07,625 --> 00:30:09,333 Woman: Alright. 326 00:30:09,500 --> 00:30:11,583 How are you going? I'm good. How are you? 327 00:30:11,750 --> 00:30:13,708 Im Jim. Jim, Jen. 328 00:30:13,875 --> 00:30:15,583 'J's! 329 00:30:18,125 --> 00:30:20,458 Where are you headed? Where are you from? 330 00:30:22,792 --> 00:30:25,417 Did your car break down? 331 00:30:25,583 --> 00:30:28,917 I don't really believe in owning cars. 332 00:30:29,083 --> 00:30:31,792 How ironic. Cathy here doesn't believe in seat belts. 333 00:30:33,042 --> 00:30:36,833 I totally believe in seat belts. Safety first. 334 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,542 This from a girl who thumbs her way across country, 335 00:30:39,708 --> 00:30:41,500 accepting rides from strangers. 336 00:30:41,667 --> 00:30:43,518 Cathy: Bill, can I borrow your phone real quick? 337 00:30:43,542 --> 00:30:46,583 Um, yeah. Yeah, it's in my bag. 338 00:30:47,833 --> 00:30:52,167 I generally feel that people are basically good. 339 00:30:52,333 --> 00:30:55,625 However, this one time I was following this phish tour... 340 00:30:55,792 --> 00:30:59,208 Man, I just love those guys. 341 00:30:59,375 --> 00:31:05,083 So this guy, anyway, driving this really bitching beemer, stops for me. 342 00:31:05,250 --> 00:31:07,208 So chitchat, chitchat. 343 00:31:07,375 --> 00:31:10,000 He was a doctor or a banker or a mortician or something. 344 00:31:10,167 --> 00:31:13,458 So he asks me where I'm going. 345 00:31:13,625 --> 00:31:17,250 And don't ask me how it got started, but we get on the subject of music. 346 00:31:17,417 --> 00:31:18,917 Now I don't know a lot of things, 347 00:31:19,083 --> 00:31:23,917 but in fact, music is the one thing that I am extremely familiar with. 348 00:31:24,083 --> 00:31:26,833 I just get it, get it? 349 00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:30,667 So this yuppie dickhead 350 00:31:30,833 --> 00:31:34,208 starts telling me about music and how “back in the day” 351 00:31:34,375 --> 00:31:38,458 and I'm like... how add kids are nowadays and I'm like, “fuck!” 352 00:31:38,625 --> 00:31:44,333 You know, “back in the day”? Music transcends time and space. 353 00:31:44,500 --> 00:31:47,958 Man, it's like a whole symbiotic relationship between... 354 00:31:48,125 --> 00:31:49,458 You feeling me? 355 00:31:49,625 --> 00:31:51,792 It's a like a whole symbiotic relationship 356 00:31:51,958 --> 00:31:55,083 between life, death... 357 00:31:56,083 --> 00:31:58,917 Malls, pets, you know, health and nutrition. 358 00:31:59,083 --> 00:32:03,583 So mr 2.4 kids, he tries to kiss me. 359 00:32:03,750 --> 00:32:07,625 He actually has his fucking sweaty paws 360 00:32:07,792 --> 00:32:10,417 all over me. 361 00:32:13,042 --> 00:32:17,792 So what I did was... what I did was I just leaned over 362 00:32:17,958 --> 00:32:23,250 and I smashed down really hard in a really sensitive place. 363 00:32:23,417 --> 00:32:25,208 Are you feeling me? 364 00:32:25,375 --> 00:32:27,500 My aim was dead on. 365 00:32:29,042 --> 00:32:31,458 Ding, dong. 366 00:32:31,625 --> 00:32:35,083 I rang the bell and won the kewpie doll, man. 367 00:32:36,250 --> 00:32:38,833 I also happened to lose my ride. 368 00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:41,917 Took me, like, four hours to get another one. 369 00:32:42,083 --> 00:32:45,000 What was my point? 370 00:32:48,375 --> 00:32:49,708 Oh, yeah. 371 00:32:49,875 --> 00:32:53,708 You know, I generally have to believe 372 00:32:53,875 --> 00:32:56,083 that people are basically good. 373 00:32:57,083 --> 00:32:59,792 Does anyone mind that I'm sitting in the front seat? 374 00:33:06,833 --> 00:33:10,125 Well, Jen, welcome aboard. 375 00:33:10,292 --> 00:33:14,750 Oh, I knew you guys were cool soon as I saw the Van. 376 00:33:14,917 --> 00:33:18,667 Yeah, she's my sweet baby. I love her. 377 00:33:18,833 --> 00:33:21,375 You should know we planned a detour. 378 00:33:21,542 --> 00:33:24,292 We're going to spend the night there. 379 00:33:26,625 --> 00:33:30,875 Man, I love dark rides. You guys mind if I tag along? 380 00:33:31,042 --> 00:33:33,125 Cathy: Funny, I thought you already had. 381 00:33:33,292 --> 00:33:36,250 Jen: Don't worry. I'll hold my own weight. 382 00:33:36,417 --> 00:33:39,292 Anyone want to go on a real trip? 383 00:33:39,458 --> 00:33:41,250 Jim: Oh, god. 384 00:33:41,417 --> 00:33:43,708 I think I love you. 385 00:33:43,875 --> 00:33:45,958 Right back at you. 386 00:33:56,125 --> 00:33:57,875 I haven't been here in so long. 387 00:33:58,042 --> 00:34:00,708 Where is this place? 388 00:34:00,875 --> 00:34:02,167 Asbury park. 389 00:34:02,333 --> 00:34:04,875 Asbury park. I've never been here. 390 00:34:05,042 --> 00:34:07,833 Look at what a shithole town this is. 391 00:34:22,083 --> 00:34:26,375 Holy shit. Those fucking mushrooms just kicked in. 392 00:34:26,542 --> 00:34:28,875 Yeah? Are you feeling it? 393 00:34:34,625 --> 00:34:38,375 Jen: Hey, isn't asbury park where Springsteen was born? 394 00:34:39,833 --> 00:34:41,750 Look at this place. 395 00:34:41,917 --> 00:34:44,000 Tt teehs etesed. 396 00:34:44,167 --> 00:34:47,208 I mean, like, gone-for-the-winter closed. 397 00:34:48,208 --> 00:34:52,250 God, it's kind of creepy, huh? God, I live for this shit! 398 00:34:53,250 --> 00:34:55,333 Ok, this obviously sucks. 399 00:34:55,500 --> 00:34:58,125 If you want to save money, can we just sleep in the Van? 400 00:34:58,292 --> 00:35:01,042 Whoa. Whoa, who the hell's that? Hey, kill the lights, dude. 401 00:35:07,417 --> 00:35:09,625 Liz: Well, that's that. 402 00:35:09,792 --> 00:35:12,875 Bill: No, no, no. He probably makes his rounds about every hour or so. 403 00:35:13,042 --> 00:35:15,042 Steve: That's plenty of time to get inside. 404 00:35:18,958 --> 00:35:23,292 He's a rent-a-cop. I'm surprised he doesn't ride a fucking bicycle. 405 00:35:24,417 --> 00:35:26,875 Jen: Come on. Let's go around back. 406 00:35:27,958 --> 00:35:29,667 We can figure out a way to get in. 407 00:35:29,833 --> 00:35:32,458 Oh, great, we picked up catwoman. 408 00:35:32,625 --> 00:35:34,333 Oh, look. He's leaving. 409 00:35:34,500 --> 00:35:37,042 Let go of me. Come on. There. That's my boy. 410 00:35:37,208 --> 00:35:38,542 Bill: Yeah, he's going. 411 00:35:38,708 --> 00:35:40,083 Cathy: Yeah, and so should we. 412 00:35:40,250 --> 00:35:43,833 Cathy, could be fun. 413 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:47,917 That's right, Jen. It could also not be fun. See how that works? 414 00:35:48,083 --> 00:35:51,250 Jesus, cath, chill out. Fuck 'chill', Jim. 415 00:35:51,417 --> 00:35:53,250 Ok, this is supposed to be for laughs, right? 416 00:35:53,417 --> 00:35:56,178 Alright, fine, I'll wait here. And call for me when your laughs begin. 417 00:35:56,333 --> 00:35:57,667 Cath, come on. 418 00:35:57,833 --> 00:36:01,500 You know where to find me. I'm fine. Go. 419 00:36:09,667 --> 00:36:11,875 Have fun with little miss too cool for school. 420 00:36:12,042 --> 00:36:14,833 In fact, why don't you just have fun? That's what you're good at. 421 00:36:16,500 --> 00:36:19,083 Oh, nice. 422 00:36:20,083 --> 00:36:23,083 I'm sorry. 423 00:36:24,083 --> 00:36:25,958 Do what you want with that but... 424 00:36:27,625 --> 00:36:29,625 And I really do miss you. 425 00:36:40,542 --> 00:36:44,750 Go ahead. The dark ride's waiting. 426 00:36:47,208 --> 00:36:51,250 Jen. Jen, come here. Listen, I have an idea. 427 00:36:53,708 --> 00:36:57,667 Oh, man, this place is frickin' huge. 428 00:38:09,958 --> 00:38:12,458 Oh, my god. 429 00:38:14,292 --> 00:38:16,708 God! Jesus! 430 00:38:17,708 --> 00:38:19,042 Come on! 431 00:38:24,875 --> 00:38:27,125 This is fucking great. 432 00:38:53,042 --> 00:38:55,667 Whoa, shit! 433 00:39:34,583 --> 00:39:37,458 Voila! 434 00:39:37,625 --> 00:39:39,625 Way to go, bro. 435 00:39:41,667 --> 00:39:42,958 Come on. 436 00:39:43,125 --> 00:39:44,708 Jim: Come in, come in. Hey. 437 00:39:44,875 --> 00:39:48,958 Jen: Whoo! Nice and dry. 438 00:39:49,958 --> 00:39:51,625 How did you get the lights on? 439 00:39:51,792 --> 00:39:55,417 Liz, did you think the only thing I made in shop class were bongs? 440 00:39:55,583 --> 00:39:57,375 No, seriously, though, 441 00:39:57,542 --> 00:39:59,958 I just put a few wires together and pushed a few buttons. 442 00:40:00,125 --> 00:40:03,792 Ooh, I like a man who knows what to do with his hands. 443 00:40:03,958 --> 00:40:05,792 I'm shocked. What's that? 444 00:40:05,958 --> 00:40:08,042 Uh, I'm soaked. 445 00:40:08,208 --> 00:40:10,083 You know, we really should go get Cathy. 446 00:40:10,250 --> 00:40:14,250 Cathy knows where we are. If she wants to join us, she can, right? 447 00:40:14,417 --> 00:40:19,667 I agree. We should check this place out. Let's go. Come on. 448 00:40:20,875 --> 00:40:23,167 Cool. 449 00:40:23,333 --> 00:40:27,125 Just think, I could have hitched a ride with a stalker. 450 00:41:23,583 --> 00:41:26,208 Oh, my god. 451 00:41:30,792 --> 00:41:32,458 Look at the motion. 452 00:41:32,625 --> 00:41:34,583 Liz: Oh, my god. 453 00:41:47,625 --> 00:41:49,375 Yeah, yeah. 454 00:41:54,042 --> 00:41:55,667 Shh. 455 00:41:55,833 --> 00:41:57,833 Oh. Got you. 456 00:41:58,000 --> 00:41:59,601 Steve: Hey, dude, don't fuck with anything. 457 00:41:59,625 --> 00:42:01,143 We don't wanna add destruction of property 458 00:42:01,167 --> 00:42:03,417 to the breaking and entering charge, you know? 459 00:42:05,417 --> 00:42:10,875 Steve, Steve, just let it go. Let it go. 460 00:42:13,417 --> 00:42:17,083 Steve: Had to go and take those 'shrooms, didn't you? 461 00:42:21,500 --> 00:42:22,958 Dude, put it down. 462 00:42:23,125 --> 00:42:25,833 Yeah, Steve. Steve, really, it's ok. 463 00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:28,208 It's ok. Don't worry about it. Shh. 464 00:42:33,583 --> 00:42:36,458 What is this? 465 00:42:37,458 --> 00:42:39,667 What's wrong, Jim? 466 00:42:39,833 --> 00:42:42,292 Steve: What did you do to the face, Jim? 467 00:42:42,458 --> 00:42:44,708 Nothing. 468 00:42:49,625 --> 00:42:51,292 Yeah. 469 00:42:53,750 --> 00:42:56,042 Alright, moving on. 470 00:43:30,958 --> 00:43:32,375 Hmm. 471 00:43:32,542 --> 00:43:35,750 Dude, I cannot believe Cathy's missing this shit. 472 00:43:35,917 --> 00:43:37,542 This place is fucking cool, right? 473 00:43:40,750 --> 00:43:42,500 Jim, light me, please. 474 00:43:43,875 --> 00:43:45,375 Jen: Easy. Easy, Jim. 475 00:43:45,542 --> 00:43:47,000 Easy. 476 00:43:47,167 --> 00:43:50,833 Bill: What do you think? 477 00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:54,042 I have to say, this isn't too bad. 478 00:43:55,042 --> 00:43:58,292 Got a little smoke. Got a little... 479 00:43:58,458 --> 00:44:00,208 Motherfucker! 480 00:44:08,083 --> 00:44:10,500 Can't we unplug these things? 481 00:44:15,333 --> 00:44:18,000 Did you see that? See what? 482 00:44:20,292 --> 00:44:22,833 There's someone... 483 00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:25,500 There's someone watching us through that window. 484 00:44:26,500 --> 00:44:29,083 You sure, Liz? You're pretty high. 485 00:44:31,042 --> 00:44:32,833 Never mthel. 486 00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:35,875 Yes, and there are definitely no shortage of someones 487 00:44:36,042 --> 00:44:38,708 lurking in this fucking place. 488 00:44:38,875 --> 00:44:41,125 God, you gotta wonder 489 00:44:41,292 --> 00:44:45,042 how all this negative energy affects this place. 490 00:44:45,208 --> 00:44:47,625 I mean, it can't be good. 491 00:44:47,792 --> 00:44:51,333 You're closer to the truth than you know, Jen-Jen. 492 00:44:51,500 --> 00:44:54,875 Do you guys know why they closed down this ride, huh? 493 00:44:55,042 --> 00:44:56,583 It's a local legend. 494 00:44:56,750 --> 00:44:59,792 Bill: Yeah, I grew up in ocean grove, one town over. 495 00:45:01,125 --> 00:45:05,375 Fucking a, man. I had no idea you were from there, man. 496 00:45:05,542 --> 00:45:07,000 Yeah. You're from Jersey, brother? 497 00:45:07,167 --> 00:45:09,458 Well, you had to have heard of this story, man... 498 00:45:10,500 --> 00:45:12,417 About the two sisters... 499 00:45:12,583 --> 00:45:14,125 Let me see that. Thank you. 500 00:45:14,292 --> 00:45:19,167 About the two sisters who died right here. 501 00:45:19,333 --> 00:45:23,000 Yeah, they were twins. I think it was back in '89. 502 00:45:25,708 --> 00:45:27,333 So what happened? 503 00:45:28,333 --> 00:45:33,458 They were murdered and disembowelled. 504 00:45:34,458 --> 00:45:38,625 At their funerals, it was closed casket. 505 00:45:38,792 --> 00:45:42,042 Nobody wanted to view the bodies. 506 00:45:42,208 --> 00:45:47,875 It was, I mean, huge out here. It was in all the newspapers. 507 00:45:48,042 --> 00:45:51,458 Wow, Jim, then it must be true. 508 00:45:53,292 --> 00:45:55,333 It'tthet eh tmheette. 509 00:45:55,500 --> 00:45:57,667 How about we turn the page on this one, guys? 510 00:45:57,833 --> 00:45:59,708 Legend goes that there was this man, 511 00:45:59,875 --> 00:46:04,250 this hideous, deformed, monster-like man 512 00:46:04,417 --> 00:46:05,875 that wore a mask over his face. 513 00:46:06,042 --> 00:46:07,458 He killed them. 514 00:46:07,625 --> 00:46:11,792 Supposedly, the man had, like, a mental capacity of a five-year-old. 515 00:46:11,958 --> 00:46:15,792 He lived right here in this dark ride. 516 00:46:19,042 --> 00:46:21,167 Yes, he lived in the ride. 517 00:46:23,958 --> 00:46:28,417 See, the guy who operated the ride adopted two kids... 518 00:46:30,083 --> 00:46:33,125 Two very different kids. 519 00:46:33,292 --> 00:46:35,958 There was the younger one, who was normal, 520 00:46:36,125 --> 00:46:37,542 and there was the older one. 521 00:46:37,708 --> 00:46:40,083 He was the one with all the deformities. 522 00:46:40,250 --> 00:46:43,208 So he kept him down here, 523 00:46:43,375 --> 00:46:46,292 locked up in the dark ride. 524 00:46:46,458 --> 00:46:49,208 Yeah. You know, I think I heard something like that. 525 00:46:49,375 --> 00:46:52,500 But I think it happened in Wisconsin. 526 00:46:52,667 --> 00:46:54,167 Really? 527 00:46:54,333 --> 00:46:58,833 Well, I heard something similar, but it was this travelling dark ride 528 00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:02,250 that moved from state to state to these different carnivals. 529 00:47:02,417 --> 00:47:05,292 It was like urban legends, right? 530 00:47:05,458 --> 00:47:07,542 No, no. 531 00:47:07,708 --> 00:47:10,708 That's cute. But, no, this is not an urban legend. 532 00:47:10,875 --> 00:47:13,417 Did they go to jail? 533 00:47:13,583 --> 00:47:16,125 See, in the end the taxpayers prevailed. 534 00:47:16,292 --> 00:47:18,542 The ride was closed... 535 00:47:18,708 --> 00:47:21,875 And the monster expired. 536 00:47:26,583 --> 00:47:27,917 Jim: Who's got the weed? 537 00:47:28,083 --> 00:47:30,458 Jen: Dude. Alright. 538 00:47:30,625 --> 00:47:32,833 Yeah, so that's what happened. 539 00:47:34,958 --> 00:47:37,792 Well, why didn't you tell us this when we saw the flyer? 540 00:47:37,958 --> 00:47:40,667 Um, because I wanted you to come here, 541 00:47:40,833 --> 00:47:43,375 and if I would have told you the story you wouldn't have came. 542 00:47:43,542 --> 00:47:45,500 So I didn't. 543 00:47:47,500 --> 00:47:50,500 You know, with all the scary shit going on, it was nuts. 544 00:47:50,667 --> 00:47:54,000 The kids were dead and the town was crazy. 545 00:47:54,167 --> 00:47:55,792 Bill: Jim, there's... 546 00:47:55,958 --> 00:47:59,667 There's one little problem with your story. 547 00:48:01,708 --> 00:48:04,167 What's that, bill? 548 00:48:04,333 --> 00:48:06,083 The same problem most people have... 549 00:48:06,250 --> 00:48:08,333 Is that they just believe whatever they hear 550 00:48:08,500 --> 00:48:10,875 without ever questioning it. 551 00:48:12,875 --> 00:48:15,208 Newspapers take more Liberty with the fact 552 00:48:15,375 --> 00:48:17,125 than 'e! True Hollywood story'. 553 00:48:17,292 --> 00:48:22,583 See, your guy's quote-unquote 'monster' never died. 554 00:48:23,625 --> 00:48:28,458 He was shot that day but he's very much alive. 555 00:48:28,625 --> 00:48:31,292 If you ask me, he should have been sent to the electric chair 556 00:48:32,958 --> 00:48:35,018 instead, they just set him up in some mental hospital. 557 00:48:35,042 --> 00:48:36,875 And how would you know? 558 00:48:37,042 --> 00:48:38,375 Dude, you're fucking with us. 559 00:48:38,542 --> 00:48:40,375 He's fucking with us. 560 00:48:40,542 --> 00:48:42,500 Bill: I wish I was. 561 00:48:42,667 --> 00:48:44,292 Those two teenagers... 562 00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:48,250 You know, the ones that were last killed... 563 00:48:50,792 --> 00:48:52,083 Those were my cousins. 564 00:48:52,250 --> 00:48:54,542 Your cousins? Bullshit. 565 00:48:54,708 --> 00:48:57,417 Oh, my god. Are you serious? 566 00:48:57,583 --> 00:49:00,875 Bill: That's how I know that Jonah's still alive. 567 00:49:01,042 --> 00:49:05,333 Why does it always have to be Jonah or Jason or Jedediah? 568 00:49:05,500 --> 00:49:10,042 I mean, why can't it be Bob or Gus or even Chris? 569 00:49:10,208 --> 00:49:14,292 No, no. Give him a break. Let him finish. 570 00:49:14,458 --> 00:49:16,500 Or Ernie. It could be Ernie. 571 00:49:18,542 --> 00:49:22,875 Bill: Well, Elizabeth, Ernie is not his name. 572 00:49:23,042 --> 00:49:28,000 It's 'Jonah' and he's not a monster. 573 00:49:28,167 --> 00:49:32,083 God, we do love our monsters in this country. 574 00:49:33,958 --> 00:49:37,833 But a murderer killed my two cousins, not a monster. 575 00:49:41,875 --> 00:49:44,375 The police psychologist said the sick bastard 576 00:49:44,542 --> 00:49:46,792 was actually playing with his victims. 577 00:49:46,958 --> 00:49:48,625 Can you believe that? 578 00:49:48,792 --> 00:49:51,083 He was re-enacting the sets from within the ride. 579 00:49:51,250 --> 00:49:55,750 So he mimicked whatever he saw in this place? 580 00:49:58,458 --> 00:50:00,958 Jonah see, Jonah do. 581 00:50:05,792 --> 00:50:09,750 That is heavy, dude. I am so sorry. 582 00:50:09,917 --> 00:50:12,917 Well, that was more interesting than movie trivia. 583 00:50:13,083 --> 00:50:14,843 Jim: I shouldn't have brung it up. I'm sorry. 584 00:50:14,958 --> 00:50:16,792 No, Jim, it's not your fault it happened. 585 00:50:16,958 --> 00:50:19,542 Besides, these are the kinds of stories 586 00:50:19,708 --> 00:50:21,292 you tell in places like this, right, 587 00:50:21,458 --> 00:50:24,083 to try and scare the hell out of everyone? 588 00:50:24,250 --> 00:50:27,042 The only difference is usually you're making it up. 589 00:50:27,208 --> 00:50:28,750 This one's real. 590 00:50:31,083 --> 00:50:32,683 Cue the thunder and lightning. 591 00:50:55,333 --> 00:50:57,417 Ooh! 592 00:50:58,417 --> 00:51:02,208 That's cool. Look at this. 593 00:51:08,917 --> 00:51:10,250 Steve. 594 00:51:14,333 --> 00:51:16,042 Steve: No fucking light. 595 00:51:16,208 --> 00:51:18,167 Jen: Grab a lantern from the set over there 596 00:51:18,333 --> 00:51:20,667 so we can see what the hell's going on in here. 597 00:51:32,292 --> 00:51:34,875 Come on. What? 598 00:51:35,042 --> 00:51:37,125 It won't reach. Oh, shit. 599 00:51:37,292 --> 00:51:39,042 Hey, grab that mirror. 600 00:51:49,042 --> 00:51:51,958 I don't see anything. No, no, no. Bounce it up. 601 00:51:54,458 --> 00:51:57,292 Jen: Ok, wait. I think it's over there. 602 00:51:58,792 --> 00:52:01,958 There's nothing in here. Wait, wait, wait. What was that? 603 00:52:08,167 --> 00:52:10,583 What the...? No! 604 00:52:10,750 --> 00:52:12,042 Oh, my god! 605 00:52:12,208 --> 00:52:15,708 Cathy! Help! Help! 606 00:52:18,292 --> 00:52:22,083 I'm so sorry. I couldn't help myself. I'm sorry. 607 00:52:25,875 --> 00:52:28,417 Oh, my god. That was so good. Cathy... 608 00:52:28,583 --> 00:52:30,750 Oh, man, you should have seen the look on your face. 609 00:52:30,917 --> 00:52:34,333 First you were all like, “oh!” and then you did, like, this great... 610 00:52:34,500 --> 00:52:37,083 It was fucking killer. 611 00:52:37,250 --> 00:52:39,583 Aw, you still really care. 612 00:52:39,750 --> 00:52:42,083 After what you said back there in the Van I was gonna... 613 00:52:42,250 --> 00:52:45,917 No, fuck you, Cathy, and stay fucked for a while. 614 00:52:46,083 --> 00:52:52,500 Well, I wouldn't call three minutes including foreplay “a while,” would you? 615 00:52:52,667 --> 00:52:56,125 Jim: What the hell happened here? 616 00:52:56,292 --> 00:52:58,583 Cathy: What? 617 00:52:58,750 --> 00:53:00,875 It's awesome. Steve: You were in on this? 618 00:53:01,042 --> 00:53:02,500 Liz: Did you plan this whole thing? 619 00:53:02,667 --> 00:53:06,042 Yeah. You were in on this? 620 00:53:08,042 --> 00:53:11,917 And, you know, when we picked up Jen, 621 00:53:12,083 --> 00:53:14,875 I kinda figured she'd be better to get you in the room than me, 622 00:53:15,042 --> 00:53:18,125 so I just pulled her aside and asked her to help. 623 00:53:18,292 --> 00:53:20,542 Guilty. 624 00:53:20,708 --> 00:53:24,125 Do you guys honestly think I would have stayed in the Van by myself? 625 00:53:24,292 --> 00:53:25,958 I faked. 626 00:53:26,125 --> 00:53:27,875 So you planned this trip? 627 00:53:29,625 --> 00:53:30,917 Were you fucking in on this? 628 00:53:31,083 --> 00:53:32,875 I had nothing to do with it. Calm down. 629 00:53:33,042 --> 00:53:35,000 It was just me and bill. Oh, my god. 630 00:53:35,167 --> 00:53:38,458 And coming to the dark ride was all part of your little prank? 631 00:53:40,458 --> 00:53:43,542 You know, I was just kinda dying to check it out. 632 00:53:45,167 --> 00:53:46,625 No, but seriously, 633 00:53:46,792 --> 00:53:49,292 my parents never let me go to my cousins' funeral. 634 00:53:49,458 --> 00:53:51,417 I never even went to their grave site. 635 00:53:51,583 --> 00:53:52,917 I've never even been here. 636 00:53:53,083 --> 00:53:56,542 So, I don't know, in some sick, twisted way 637 00:53:56,708 --> 00:53:58,917 it's kind of like closure to me. 638 00:53:59,083 --> 00:54:01,583 But the flyer... 639 00:54:01,750 --> 00:54:04,625 I had that with me. That would have shown up anywhere we were. 640 00:54:04,792 --> 00:54:07,458 It would have showed up wherever we were. 641 00:54:09,208 --> 00:54:11,667 Jim: Jesus, bill, that's pretty freakin' extreme 642 00:54:11,833 --> 00:54:13,917 just to go for a laugh. 643 00:54:14,083 --> 00:54:17,500 That rocked. That was great. I'm so proud of you. 644 00:54:17,667 --> 00:54:20,542 Well, your friend Steve here left me in a rather extreme position 645 00:54:20,708 --> 00:54:23,417 a few months back when I walked into his room 646 00:54:23,583 --> 00:54:25,750 and found his dick inside Sarah d'amato. 647 00:54:25,917 --> 00:54:27,237 This is about that? Sarah d'amato? 648 00:54:27,375 --> 00:54:28,375 Shut up. 649 00:54:28,417 --> 00:54:29,750 Yes, it is about that, Steve. 650 00:54:29,917 --> 00:54:32,375 I know you don't think it's a big deal. It was to me. 651 00:54:32,542 --> 00:54:34,222 Jim: Steve, you had sex with Sarah d'amato? 652 00:54:34,292 --> 00:54:36,268 Yeah, and she's not a fucking psycho. This isn't funny. 653 00:54:36,292 --> 00:54:38,333 Playing dead isn't funny. 654 00:54:38,500 --> 00:54:40,542 Jen: It was funny. Jim: That was harsh. 655 00:54:40,708 --> 00:54:42,188 Cathy: Hey, you know what they say... 656 00:54:42,292 --> 00:54:43,812 “Don't hate the player. Hate the game.” 657 00:54:43,875 --> 00:54:48,667 Oh, come on, Stevie. Kiss my neck. You know how much I like that. 658 00:54:50,875 --> 00:54:52,250 Jeez. 659 00:54:52,417 --> 00:54:54,042 And you, you little piece of shit... 660 00:54:54,208 --> 00:54:55,792 Stop it! No, you stop it. 661 00:54:55,958 --> 00:54:57,250 Lay off him. You lay off. 662 00:54:57,417 --> 00:54:58,977 You don't get to say anything right now. 663 00:54:59,042 --> 00:55:00,375 You, you want some trivia? 664 00:55:00,542 --> 00:55:03,875 How many friends do you have now? Anyone? Anyone? 665 00:55:04,042 --> 00:55:06,125 Well, now you've got none. 666 00:55:06,292 --> 00:55:08,000 Lay off him. Stop. 667 00:55:08,167 --> 00:55:11,042 I should have left you beating off in the fucking dorm room. 668 00:55:11,208 --> 00:55:12,542 Badjoke. 669 00:55:12,708 --> 00:55:15,625 Liz: Well, unless you have an encore planned, 670 00:55:15,792 --> 00:55:18,500 is there anyone else you need to exact revenge on? 671 00:55:18,667 --> 00:55:20,083 I'm done. 672 00:55:20,250 --> 00:55:24,125 Dude, I would totally beat your ass if you did that to me. 673 00:55:24,292 --> 00:55:27,125 But you didn't and it was great. 674 00:55:27,292 --> 00:55:29,042 I didn't know you had it in you. 675 00:55:29,208 --> 00:55:31,042 Look at you coming out of your shell. 676 00:55:33,333 --> 00:55:34,973 Now that you're done, can we please leave? 677 00:55:35,083 --> 00:55:36,583 This place creeps me out. 678 00:55:36,750 --> 00:55:39,083 Jim: You wanna make out or...? 679 00:55:39,250 --> 00:55:43,208 Oh. It never works. 680 00:55:51,167 --> 00:55:53,583 Scared the shit out of your cheating ex-boyfriend. 681 00:55:53,750 --> 00:55:55,583 That was priceless. Right. It was good. 682 00:55:59,083 --> 00:56:02,875 I have a feeling by next weekend you're gonna need a new room-mate. 683 00:56:03,042 --> 00:56:05,417 Probably. 684 00:56:11,583 --> 00:56:14,833 That's weird. The door is locked. 685 00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:16,875 Liz: Well, open it. 686 00:56:17,042 --> 00:56:20,083 Well, I would, Elizabeth, 687 00:56:20,250 --> 00:56:22,833 but the door's kind of locked from the outside. 688 00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:25,042 Come on, Jim, open the door. 689 00:56:26,042 --> 00:56:27,458 I bet it was Steve. 690 00:56:27,625 --> 00:56:30,500 Liz: Or Ernie the slasher. 691 00:56:30,667 --> 00:56:33,792 Steve, please. Jen: Relax, everyone. 692 00:56:33,958 --> 00:56:38,292 Please? Come on, Steve. This isn't funny. 693 00:56:38,458 --> 00:56:42,458 She's apologising, Steve. Come on, man, open the door. 694 00:56:51,708 --> 00:56:53,875 Jim: No, seriously, guys, though, 695 00:56:54,042 --> 00:56:56,125 I did a pretty shitty job down there on the wires. 696 00:56:56,292 --> 00:56:57,972 I'm not surprised that they didn't hold up. 697 00:56:58,042 --> 00:56:59,750 I'll just go back down there and fix them. 698 00:56:59,917 --> 00:57:01,726 I'm gonna be right back. Y'all stay right here. 699 00:57:01,750 --> 00:57:04,917 Actually, I was thinking about wandering aimlessly in the dark. 700 00:57:05,083 --> 00:57:06,625 It's what I do for fun. 701 00:57:57,083 --> 00:58:00,042 Jesus Christ, Jen, you almost gave me a fucking heart attack. 702 00:58:01,250 --> 00:58:05,042 Your heart rate's not exactly what I wanted to get a rise out of. 703 00:58:09,208 --> 00:58:11,101 Oh, god. These 'shrooms are really fucking kicking in. 704 00:58:11,125 --> 00:58:12,458 Yeah, I know. 705 00:58:12,625 --> 00:58:15,875 Well, they were on for a minute. 706 00:58:19,042 --> 00:58:21,292 Maybe he's working on it. 707 00:58:21,458 --> 00:58:23,833 Liz: I bet that little slut is working on him. 708 00:58:24,000 --> 00:58:27,250 Oh, holy shit. I didn't even realise she wasn't with us. 709 00:58:27,417 --> 00:58:31,167 Hey, did you see Steve following me down here? 710 00:58:31,333 --> 00:58:33,667 Because I wanna grab him and get the hell out of here. 711 00:58:33,833 --> 00:58:35,125 Oh, really? 712 00:58:36,958 --> 00:58:39,500 Oh, my god. Oh, god. 713 00:58:39,667 --> 00:58:42,042 Don't you feel good? 714 00:58:42,208 --> 00:58:44,792 We don't exactly have to leave right now. 715 00:58:44,958 --> 00:58:48,708 It's kind of awkward timing. You know what I mean? 716 00:58:52,833 --> 00:58:55,958 My timing is what makes this interesting. 717 00:58:59,958 --> 00:59:01,875 But what about the others? 718 00:59:02,042 --> 00:59:05,875 Couldn't find their way down here with a road map. 719 00:59:06,042 --> 00:59:07,833 But I heard them screaming and shit. 720 00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:11,542 Yeah, I think we should let the children play their children games. 721 00:59:11,708 --> 00:59:15,042 Besides, we have some adult games to get to. 722 00:59:15,208 --> 00:59:17,125 Oh, god, I love you. 723 00:59:20,417 --> 00:59:24,792 Excuse me just one moment. 724 00:59:24,958 --> 00:59:27,458 What are you gonna do? 725 00:59:27,625 --> 00:59:29,000 Just a little... 726 00:59:29,167 --> 00:59:31,458 Ooh. 727 00:59:33,583 --> 00:59:37,167 Just a little mood lighting, a little mood music. 728 00:59:37,333 --> 00:59:39,250 Sorry I don't have cigarettes. 729 00:59:54,167 --> 00:59:57,333 Oh, god, thank you. 730 01:00:01,583 --> 01:00:05,458 Fucking Steve. I hate him. I'm so done with him. 731 01:00:05,625 --> 01:00:08,125 I bet he's screwing with the lights. 732 01:00:08,292 --> 01:00:09,875 What goes around comes around, right? 733 01:00:10,042 --> 01:00:13,125 Screw you, Liz. Sorry. 734 01:00:14,250 --> 01:00:17,000 I can't see a thing. I don't like this, you guys. 735 01:00:18,500 --> 01:00:21,333 Hey, Liz, watch out for the tracks. Don't sprain your ankle. 736 01:00:21,500 --> 01:00:23,300 Look, I don't know what you guys are thinking, 737 01:00:23,333 --> 01:00:26,958 but if we're gonna get out of here we've gotta find our way downstairs. 738 01:00:27,125 --> 01:00:28,875 Cathy: In the dark? Yeah. 739 01:00:33,833 --> 01:00:35,518 Liz: You have a lighter, right? 740 01:00:35,542 --> 01:00:37,833 Bill: Yeah. Ok. Come on. Let's go. 741 01:02:48,083 --> 01:02:51,250 Steve? 742 01:03:08,000 --> 01:03:10,292 Ok. 743 01:03:10,458 --> 01:03:12,917 They keep screaming. Something's wrong. 744 01:03:14,750 --> 01:03:18,042 Oh, god, I love this song. 745 01:03:19,958 --> 01:03:21,518 They're just joking. They're just joking. 746 01:03:21,542 --> 01:03:23,042 They're just messing around. Ok. 747 01:03:23,208 --> 01:03:25,750 Oh, thank you. 748 01:03:40,250 --> 01:03:42,750 Cathy, we have to go now. Look at me. 749 01:03:43,833 --> 01:03:46,750 We've gotta get help. Where did bill go? 750 01:03:49,833 --> 01:03:52,042 Jim! Jim! 751 01:03:53,208 --> 01:03:55,708 Jim! Jim, where are you? 752 01:03:55,875 --> 01:03:57,583 Oh, my... 753 01:03:57,750 --> 01:04:01,083 Wait. What's going on? 754 01:04:02,750 --> 01:04:07,042 Oh, Jen, you cannot leave me hanging like this. It's unhealthy. 755 01:04:08,208 --> 01:04:12,792 Jen, you're killing me. Please? Thank you. 756 01:04:12,958 --> 01:04:15,125 J' I think I'm going out of my head 757 01:04:15,292 --> 01:04:18,083 j“ I think I'm going out of my head 758 01:04:18,250 --> 01:04:20,917 j' I think I'm going out of my head... j' 759 01:04:21,083 --> 01:04:23,667 oh, what did I do to deserve this? 760 01:04:23,833 --> 01:04:26,125 Oh, god, I'm almost there. 761 01:04:26,292 --> 01:04:28,167 Oh, god. 762 01:05:06,083 --> 01:05:09,917 Come here. Give me a kiss. 763 01:05:15,500 --> 01:05:17,292 What the fuck? Oh, my god! 764 01:05:56,875 --> 01:05:59,500 What the fuck? 765 01:06:00,708 --> 01:06:02,833 Holy shit. Oh, fuck. 766 01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:07,625 Fuck! Fucking come back. What the fuck are you doing? 767 01:06:07,792 --> 01:06:09,667 Don't fucking leave me. 768 01:06:09,833 --> 01:06:11,792 Oh, god! 769 01:06:14,042 --> 01:06:15,833 Oh, god. 770 01:06:18,333 --> 01:06:19,792 Help me. 771 01:06:19,958 --> 01:06:22,833 Somebody let me out of here. 772 01:06:23,000 --> 01:06:25,458 Please. 773 01:06:26,583 --> 01:06:29,958 Somebody help me. 774 01:06:31,750 --> 01:06:34,958 Oh, god. Oh, god. 775 01:06:59,875 --> 01:07:02,083 God. 776 01:07:11,917 --> 01:07:13,208 What? Shh. 777 01:07:13,375 --> 01:07:15,292 What? Shh. Shh! 778 01:07:15,458 --> 01:07:17,583 Do you hear that? 779 01:07:34,292 --> 01:07:36,917 Cathy. It's ok. 780 01:07:37,083 --> 01:07:38,500 Alright, listen to me. Shh, it's ok. 781 01:07:40,333 --> 01:07:42,875 Shh. I lost it back there. I did. 782 01:07:43,875 --> 01:07:48,250 Listen to me, alright? I lost it back there. I did. But I'm back now. 783 01:07:48,417 --> 01:07:51,083 We have to find a way out of here. 784 01:07:51,250 --> 01:07:56,458 There has to be another exit or fire code... something. 785 01:07:56,625 --> 01:08:00,083 This is a fucking amusement park ride, for god's sakes. 786 01:08:00,250 --> 01:08:02,500 There's fucking rules. 787 01:08:06,667 --> 01:08:10,042 Cathy: Shh. Shh. 788 01:08:10,208 --> 01:08:13,917 Shhh. Shhh. 789 01:08:21,500 --> 01:08:24,208 I'm too tired. 790 01:08:24,375 --> 01:08:26,167 We're almost out. Come on. 791 01:08:37,917 --> 01:08:39,357 No, no, no, no. Where are you going? 792 01:08:39,500 --> 01:08:40,917 This is my fault. Don't you get it? 793 01:08:41,083 --> 01:08:43,542 I'm the reason we're here. I brought us here. 794 01:08:43,708 --> 01:08:46,292 I have to go find the others. 795 01:08:46,458 --> 01:08:47,875 Go get help! 796 01:08:48,042 --> 01:08:49,875 Go get help... 797 01:09:02,667 --> 01:09:04,625 Cathy! 798 01:09:12,875 --> 01:09:14,375 Cath! 799 01:11:47,167 --> 01:11:49,083 That might be her! 800 01:11:50,375 --> 01:11:51,917 Where are you? 801 01:12:14,208 --> 01:12:16,708 (Crashn 802 01:15:17,125 --> 01:15:19,583 Man: Yeah, this is Reggie. 803 01:15:19,750 --> 01:15:23,625 I'm at the north-east side of the boardwalk, requesting backup. 804 01:15:25,292 --> 01:15:28,167 Henry, Lou, that means you guys. 805 01:15:29,250 --> 01:15:30,875 What's the problem, Reggie? 806 01:15:31,042 --> 01:15:34,167 I got a report that there was some noises coming from the dark ride. 807 01:15:34,333 --> 01:15:35,750 I'm gonna go check it out. 808 01:15:35,917 --> 01:15:37,583 Sounds good to me. How can I help you? 809 01:15:37,750 --> 01:15:39,350 Well, by definition of the term 'backup', 810 01:15:39,500 --> 01:15:41,833 I'm asking you to back me up. 811 01:15:42,000 --> 01:15:45,083 Reinforcements are on the way. Yeah, 10-4. 812 01:16:09,500 --> 01:16:13,875 Reggie: Anybody in here? This is security. 813 01:16:14,042 --> 01:16:17,542 Anybody in this building? Oh, my god! 814 01:16:17,708 --> 01:16:21,583 Anybody in this building? 815 01:16:30,042 --> 01:16:31,375 Oh, my god, please. 816 01:16:31,542 --> 01:16:34,458 Reggie: Hello! Anybody here? 817 01:16:46,458 --> 01:16:49,792 Goddamn, girl, what the hell are you doing in here? 818 01:16:49,958 --> 01:16:52,833 Alright, look, everything's gonna be ok. 819 01:16:53,000 --> 01:16:57,792 Just calm down. Come with me. We'll call your parents, alright? 820 01:17:00,667 --> 01:17:02,167 What are you pointing at? 821 01:17:02,333 --> 01:17:06,333 I told you, miss, everything's gonna be just fine. 822 01:17:59,458 --> 01:18:02,417 We'd better get over there before Reggie splits. 823 01:18:02,583 --> 01:18:05,917 You got it. 824 01:18:18,042 --> 01:18:20,958 Ow! 825 01:18:33,042 --> 01:18:34,833 Wait, please. 826 01:18:54,333 --> 01:18:56,125 Out of range. 827 01:18:56,292 --> 01:18:59,875 Come on. Work, please. No! 828 01:19:19,375 --> 01:19:22,417 Oh, my god! For fuck's sake! 829 01:20:03,917 --> 01:20:05,708 Come on, you fucking phone. 830 01:20:09,708 --> 01:20:11,333 (Crashn 831 01:20:20,667 --> 01:20:22,708 Oh, my god. 832 01:20:52,875 --> 01:20:56,458 No. No. 833 01:21:00,375 --> 01:21:02,458 (Crashn 834 01:21:30,500 --> 01:21:32,000 Cathy? 835 01:21:33,000 --> 01:21:34,542 Cathy. Cathy. 836 01:21:34,708 --> 01:21:36,417 Cathy, wake up. 837 01:21:36,583 --> 01:21:37,958 Cath... 838 01:21:38,125 --> 01:21:40,000 Oh, shit. 839 01:21:48,125 --> 01:21:50,458 Bill: Jim. Bill? 840 01:22:01,917 --> 01:22:03,750 Dude, you're... 841 01:22:04,833 --> 01:22:06,333 You're alive, man. 842 01:22:07,333 --> 01:22:08,667 Are you ok? 843 01:22:08,833 --> 01:22:12,042 Dude, I'm about as far from ok as ok gets, man. 844 01:22:12,208 --> 01:22:14,208 I'm freaking out of my skull. 845 01:22:15,875 --> 01:22:18,083 You need to get us the fuck out of here, bill. 846 01:22:18,250 --> 01:22:20,750 Shh. It's over now. What...? 847 01:22:22,375 --> 01:22:24,875 I know. It's ok. It's over now. 848 01:22:27,750 --> 01:22:29,875 Is he dead? Are you kidding me? 849 01:22:30,042 --> 01:22:34,417 I don't know if it's a he, a she or an it, man. I don't care. 850 01:22:34,583 --> 01:22:37,292 We need to grab Cathy and we need to get out of here. 851 01:22:39,000 --> 01:22:40,500 Is she ok? 852 01:22:42,500 --> 01:22:44,792 I mean, she... she has a pulse, dude. 853 01:22:45,958 --> 01:22:47,500 I don't know. 854 01:22:54,542 --> 01:22:55,875 What are you doing here, man? 855 01:22:56,042 --> 01:22:57,875 I could have sworn I saw you guys take off. 856 01:22:58,042 --> 01:22:59,625 How did you get away? 857 01:23:00,625 --> 01:23:02,375 Are you kidding me, Jim? 858 01:23:04,125 --> 01:23:06,333 I know this place like the back of my hand. 859 01:23:08,750 --> 01:23:10,250 Jim... 860 01:23:14,042 --> 01:23:16,042 How many friends do you have now, Steve? 861 01:23:20,125 --> 01:23:22,083 Revenge, huh? 862 01:23:23,958 --> 01:23:26,208 Don't call it revenge, think of it as... 863 01:23:27,250 --> 01:23:29,792 Time-released justice. 864 01:23:34,042 --> 01:23:35,875 Fuck you, assholes. 865 01:23:47,208 --> 01:23:50,875 Well, Jim... turns out that Norman bates was wrong. 866 01:23:52,208 --> 01:23:54,458 Seems a boy's best friend isn't his mother. 867 01:24:00,667 --> 01:24:03,333 Each murder he committed was like a little present. 868 01:24:05,375 --> 01:24:06,792 He wasn't just playing... 869 01:24:11,625 --> 01:24:13,417 He was playing for me. 870 01:24:16,708 --> 01:24:19,833 Some monsters are harder to recognise than others, Jim. 871 01:25:33,708 --> 01:25:35,708 Thanks for your help, Cathy. 61867

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