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1
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Isn't this nice?
2
00:00:04,204 --> 00:00:08,272
It feels good knowing the only
thing going on in our lives
3
00:00:08,274 --> 00:00:11,543
right now is a new
loose leaf tea kettle.
4
00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:12,944
After the year we had,
5
00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:15,547
I could get used to these low-key days.
6
00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:17,816
I love you, F-F-F...
7
00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:21,019
Fire station open houses!
8
00:00:21,376 --> 00:00:22,754
Oh!
9
00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:23,955
Oh!
10
00:00:23,957 --> 00:00:25,623
Fire station open house, Francine!
11
00:00:25,625 --> 00:00:26,958
C'mon! C'mon! C'mon!
12
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,629
Aaaaaah!
13
00:00:31,631 --> 00:00:33,565
Where are you going?
14
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:39,389
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
15
00:00:39,424 --> 00:00:42,506
♪ I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
16
00:00:42,508 --> 00:00:45,510
♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
17
00:00:45,512 --> 00:00:50,148
♪ And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ♪
18
00:00:51,852 --> 00:00:55,187
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
19
00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:58,122
- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
20
00:00:58,124 --> 00:00:59,190
Aah!
21
00:01:00,326 --> 00:01:03,728
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
22
00:01:06,332 --> 00:01:07,532
Good job.
23
00:01:07,534 --> 00:01:08,733
Put out that fire.
24
00:01:10,336 --> 00:01:11,770
I found the horn!
25
00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:15,607
Aw, man, these are great.
26
00:01:17,677 --> 00:01:20,678
So, we've gone over
some basic fire safety.
27
00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:22,214
Are there any questions?
28
00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:23,748
Why is fire so hot?
29
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,550
Dumb. Dumb question.
30
00:01:25,552 --> 00:01:27,485
Uh, maybe because it's burning.
31
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:34,692
Okay, folks,
get your raffle tickets out.
32
00:01:34,694 --> 00:01:36,694
Time to see who'll be Langley's
33
00:01:36,696 --> 00:01:39,163
- Honorary Firefighter!
- Wait, what did he say?
34
00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:42,234
The winner will get to spend a week
35
00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:43,902
hanging with us, learning,
36
00:01:43,904 --> 00:01:48,372
and maybe even go on the
truck to a real fire.
37
00:01:48,374 --> 00:01:49,574
There's a raffle?
38
00:01:49,576 --> 00:01:50,975
But I didn't buy a ticket.
39
00:01:50,977 --> 00:01:52,176
31.
40
00:01:52,178 --> 00:01:54,378
Wait, please let
this pancake be my ticket.
41
00:01:54,380 --> 00:01:55,914
Who has 31?
42
00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:58,316
31?
43
00:01:58,318 --> 00:02:00,518
I think that's me.
44
00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:02,053
Now that you've threaded
45
00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:04,856
your needle,
you'll need to bring the point down
46
00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:06,591
and through the canvas.
47
00:02:06,593 --> 00:02:08,326
Down and...
48
00:02:08,328 --> 00:02:09,661
- Outta my way!
- Ow!
49
00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:11,129
What the hell?!
50
00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:14,866
Stan, you're really redefining
51
00:02:14,868 --> 00:02:17,669
the concept of "open kitchen."
52
00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:21,739
I will swallow you whole.
53
00:02:21,741 --> 00:02:25,277
Whoa, talk about an open kitch...
54
00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:26,812
No, Hayley, don't!
55
00:02:29,219 --> 00:02:31,549
Why, Dad, why?!
56
00:02:31,551 --> 00:02:33,351
He's having a meltdown
57
00:02:33,353 --> 00:02:35,019
because I won some raffle
58
00:02:35,021 --> 00:02:37,221
to spend a week with
the Fire Department.
59
00:02:37,223 --> 00:02:39,423
I've always longed to be a firefighter,
60
00:02:39,425 --> 00:02:40,758
and I was so close,
61
00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:44,162
until a certain sexy
little Benedict Arnold
62
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,230
hypnotized me with her long legs
63
00:02:46,232 --> 00:02:47,699
into forgetting there was a raffle.
64
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,367
Oh, grow up.
65
00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:51,703
You've been like this since
the day we got married.
66
00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:53,772
A highly sexual and reasonable man?
67
00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:57,441
A man who overreacts when
he doesn't get his way.
68
00:02:57,443 --> 00:03:00,779
Oh, and I suppose you'd
call this an overreaction.
69
00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,114
Hayley, turn on the stove.
70
00:03:02,116 --> 00:03:04,316
Steve, time me.
71
00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:05,684
Fire!
72
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:10,855
Can I just say that I
have a needle inside me?!
73
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:13,057
Whoa!
74
00:03:13,059 --> 00:03:15,193
- Time.
- Enough, Stan.
75
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:18,462
I'm obviously gonna give
you the raffle ticket.
76
00:03:18,464 --> 00:03:20,932
Do you mean it?
I get to go fire-manning?
77
00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:23,802
Yeah, Stan,
I just hope it makes you happy.
78
00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:27,172
Oh, it does, Francine. It really does.
79
00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:34,713
Hey, thanks for helping me present
80
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,114
this environmental report.
81
00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:38,850
I-I get so nervous speaking in public.
82
00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:40,785
No, thank you, Hayley.
83
00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:43,788
For showing me what's really
going on in this town.
84
00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:45,590
These corporations.
85
00:03:45,592 --> 00:03:47,392
These sleazeballs.
86
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,194
These thugs.
87
00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:50,929
Stop spitting on me!
88
00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:53,932
Next up, Uncle... Roger?
89
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:55,466
The topic of biodiversity loss
90
00:03:55,468 --> 00:03:58,203
and its effect on local
grasslands and mangroves.
91
00:03:58,205 --> 00:03:59,871
Oof, now I'm nervous.
92
00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:01,506
You got this.
93
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:07,212
Alright, trees in the park,
blah blah blah.
94
00:04:07,214 --> 00:04:10,014
Cut 'em all down, I say.
Here's the real deal.
95
00:04:10,016 --> 00:04:12,617
The ancient art of Knife Throwing.
96
00:04:12,619 --> 00:04:13,684
God damn it.
97
00:04:13,686 --> 00:04:16,020
I am Rudolfo Mayerling.
98
00:04:16,022 --> 00:04:19,157
After years spent quietly
perfecting my craft...
99
00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:21,226
and in court with a badly
wounded assistant...
100
00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:23,762
I am here to announce
a two-night performance
101
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:28,233
in which I will present the most
daring act ever put to stage.
102
00:04:28,235 --> 00:04:31,570
And for the big finish
of my presentation...
103
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,973
Ohh!
104
00:04:36,042 --> 00:04:38,243
Flyers for my show.
105
00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:40,111
Oh, wait, I grabbed the wrong stack.
106
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,113
High school air guitar competition?
107
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,314
Oh, damn, I could win that.
108
00:04:43,316 --> 00:04:45,650
Anyway, come to my knife show.
109
00:04:48,054 --> 00:04:50,589
You know, Klaus, I'm a patient woman,
110
00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:53,792
but it's like they're not
even trying to resurrect
111
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:55,726
the World's Fair.
112
00:04:56,930 --> 00:05:00,064
Oh, it's our little firefighter.
113
00:05:00,366 --> 00:05:02,533
- Hi, honey.
- Not good, actually.
114
00:05:02,535 --> 00:05:04,135
It's not like my dreams at all.
115
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,471
I thought it would be 60% fighting fires
116
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:07,939
and the other half shooting the breeze.
117
00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:10,475
But they got me cookin'
casseroles 'round the clock,
118
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:11,876
and I think they're bullying me.
119
00:05:11,878 --> 00:05:17,148
Unless, is, "Hurry up,
casser-hole" a compliment?
120
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,617
Aw, God, I knew it.
121
00:05:18,619 --> 00:05:21,085
The only thing I get to
do is drive the truck...
122
00:05:21,087 --> 00:05:22,143
Really?
123
00:05:22,153 --> 00:05:23,154
That sounds amazing.
124
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:25,023
Can I finish? Can I finish?
125
00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:27,225
I can only use it to go to Trader Joe's
126
00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:29,360
for more casserole ingredients.
127
00:05:29,362 --> 00:05:33,031
Well, Stan, you could always
just not do any of this.
128
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,566
Quit? I knew you wouldn't get it.
129
00:05:35,568 --> 00:05:38,703
Thank God I'm here,
surrounded by my real friends.
130
00:05:38,705 --> 00:05:41,172
Alright, I gotta go.
The guys put a shit-ton
131
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,208
of IcyHot on my balls and anus.
132
00:05:48,781 --> 00:05:51,716
So, what do we need to
get to fix the kitchen?
133
00:05:51,718 --> 00:05:53,718
Plaster, some primer,
134
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:56,454
three people that know
what they're doing.
135
00:05:56,456 --> 00:05:58,523
Excuse me. Sorry. I know, I know.
136
00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:01,059
I'm sorry. It's a firetruck, okay?
137
00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:03,328
Wow, they really do send him here.
138
00:06:03,995 --> 00:06:05,396
You can't park that here!
139
00:06:05,398 --> 00:06:08,733
Gimme a break. I just need
10 spots in a row to open up.
140
00:06:08,735 --> 00:06:10,001
Ugh, great.
141
00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:13,004
You know he's gonna bring
home all that frustration
142
00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:14,339
and drag us down with him.
143
00:06:14,341 --> 00:06:16,541
They should just let him put out a fire.
144
00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,276
Throw him a bone, ya know?
145
00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:21,813
That might be what we all need.
146
00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:26,651
Mind cracking the window if you...
147
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:31,156
A little fire is all he needs.
148
00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:33,624
- This'll do.
- _
149
00:06:33,626 --> 00:06:36,961
And I know I've got
matches in here somewhere.
150
00:06:36,963 --> 00:06:38,897
Phone. Brick.
151
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:41,566
- What up, Franny-y-y-y!
- Got 'em.
152
00:06:59,452 --> 00:07:00,785
Hi.
153
00:07:00,787 --> 00:07:03,054
Oh, my.
154
00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:08,793
Stan!
155
00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:10,261
I-I...
156
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,063
Aye aye aye is right.
157
00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:13,331
That fire was hot.
158
00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:14,533
And I put it out.
159
00:07:14,535 --> 00:07:17,268
Did you see? I'm a firefighter.
160
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,538
That felt. So good.
161
00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:21,206
Yeah, it...
162
00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:23,208
- did.
- I wanna do it again.
163
00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:25,744
- I need to.
- Me, too.
164
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,747
What? I'm a hero.
165
00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:29,814
I know that!
166
00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:32,284
These are now honks of support!
167
00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:39,891
And since I put the fire out
and got the casserole fixings...
168
00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:42,160
maple bacon sweet potato
for the win, beyotch...
169
00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:44,629
the whole team said I'm one of them now.
170
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,164
More Crêpes Suzette, anyone?
171
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:47,632
No, thank you.
172
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:50,302
I'm gonna get to go on
calls for actual fires.
173
00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:52,471
Opa!
174
00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:56,574
Okay, I'd better shove off.
175
00:07:56,576 --> 00:07:58,576
Walk me to the door, my beloveds?
176
00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:00,779
- Sure.
- You got it, Pops.
177
00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:05,583
Alright, lady, what's the deal?
178
00:08:05,585 --> 00:08:09,253
I saw your face after
you started that fire.
179
00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:11,455
Did you... like it?
180
00:08:11,457 --> 00:08:12,657
No!
181
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,258
I-I dunno.
182
00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:17,795
There was something
about striking the match,
183
00:08:17,797 --> 00:08:23,201
seeing the flame grow
and become so untamed.
184
00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:26,138
I did feel this release.
185
00:08:26,140 --> 00:08:27,872
And you saw Stan.
186
00:08:27,874 --> 00:08:30,608
If it's not doing any
harm and makes things
187
00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:32,010
better around here...
188
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,412
He was pleasant just now.
189
00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:38,216
So long as it doesn't become a
destructive fixation for you,
190
00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:40,752
which I'm seeing no
warning signs of yet,
191
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:45,089
this could be a classic two
birds one stone situation.
192
00:08:45,091 --> 00:08:46,424
Aren't those the best?
193
00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:49,027
Like how cigarettes
taste good and suppress
194
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,095
your appetite to keep you skinny.
195
00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:53,165
Yes! Yes.
196
00:08:53,167 --> 00:08:57,602
A wonderful comparison
to a wonderful product.
197
00:08:59,906 --> 00:09:03,708
For years,
my knife throwing peers have bored us
198
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:06,044
with displays of
sticking the knife's tip
199
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:08,446
within a fraction of an
inch of their subject.
200
00:09:08,448 --> 00:09:09,914
- Can we go?
- We live here.
201
00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:14,519
Tonight, I will debut the mark
of the "Artful Wound."
202
00:09:14,521 --> 00:09:17,189
For a true master does not miss.
203
00:09:17,191 --> 00:09:18,256
But cuts...
204
00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:20,058
and draws a single.
205
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,394
Drop. Of blood.
206
00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:23,862
Sa-sah!
207
00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:24,929
Oh, shit.
208
00:09:24,931 --> 00:09:26,998
Okay, this is gonna be bad.
209
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,467
My assistant Benny.
210
00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:37,075
Let's begin.
211
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,077
Knife man!
212
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,379
Damn it.
213
00:09:42,448 --> 00:09:43,481
Pop dat!
214
00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:44,484
Whoa!
215
00:09:44,494 --> 00:09:46,551
Teeee'yop Corner!
216
00:09:46,553 --> 00:09:47,619
Left-handed!
217
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:48,686
Bank Shot!
218
00:09:48,688 --> 00:09:51,155
Buncha knives at once!
219
00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:54,025
Benny, stop flinching,
it's making me nervous.
220
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:56,027
- Roger.
- Oh, hey, Steve.
221
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:57,095
Stop doing this.
222
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,963
Oh, don't worry.
This is all part of the act.
223
00:09:58,965 --> 00:10:00,232
They don't want to see perfection.
224
00:10:00,234 --> 00:10:03,034
They want to think
something could go wrong.
225
00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:04,636
People are so sick.
226
00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:07,371
Now for my final throw of the evening.
227
00:10:07,373 --> 00:10:10,374
I present... the Artful Wound.
228
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:13,912
Shame! Shame on you!
229
00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:16,648
This is gonna be insane.
230
00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:25,457
Aaaaaah!
231
00:10:26,363 --> 00:10:28,427
Ooh, baby!
232
00:10:31,665 --> 00:10:34,166
No one'll miss this thing.
233
00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:45,777
Oh!
234
00:10:49,483 --> 00:10:52,150
A barn out in the boonies?
235
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:54,152
The heck happened?
236
00:10:57,223 --> 00:10:59,223
Chief, this wrapper
looks just like the one
237
00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:00,959
from the Dumpster fire I put out.
238
00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:05,563
I kept this as a souvenir.
239
00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:07,299
Could it have been the same person?
240
00:11:07,301 --> 00:11:09,167
Great instincts, Stan.
241
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,368
What else do you see?
242
00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:12,436
- See?
- In the patterns.
243
00:11:12,438 --> 00:11:14,772
Me? Read fire patterns?
244
00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:16,240
Okay... um...
245
00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:18,510
this spot... tells me...
246
00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:21,045
she's a woman? A mother?
247
00:11:21,047 --> 00:11:24,516
Um, overshadowed by a
bigger personality at home.
248
00:11:24,518 --> 00:11:26,118
She's always making sacrifices.
249
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:28,653
Well, we can all see
the surface patterns.
250
00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:30,789
Go deeper.
251
00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:33,992
Drinks to cope,
but it's not doing the job anymore.
252
00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:36,728
She's adopted,
fell down a well as a child,
253
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:40,064
stints in acting,
body building, muffin sales,
254
00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:42,466
had her vagina displayed in a museum...
255
00:11:42,468 --> 00:11:43,868
That one's just obvious.
256
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:47,205
And by the looks of it,
she's just getting started.
257
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,272
But so.
258
00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:49,341
Am.
259
00:11:49,343 --> 00:11:51,075
I.
260
00:11:51,077 --> 00:11:53,211
It could also be a guy, I guess.
261
00:11:54,348 --> 00:11:57,415
♪ Only you, baby ♪
262
00:11:57,417 --> 00:12:01,953
♪ Can put out this fire ♪
263
00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:05,423
♪ Only you, baby ♪
264
00:12:05,425 --> 00:12:07,959
♪ Can put out this fire ♪
265
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:10,828
♪ Burning in my soul ♪
266
00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:11,830
♪ Only you, baby ♪
267
00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:13,565
Casseroles.
268
00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:17,002
♪ Can put out this fire ♪
269
00:12:18,372 --> 00:12:21,439
♪ Only you, baby ♪
270
00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:22,574
Francine!
271
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:28,112
What are you doing here?
272
00:12:28,114 --> 00:12:29,181
Um...
273
00:12:29,183 --> 00:12:30,916
l-looking for this.
274
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:37,389
In any event, I'm glad
you're here to see me in action.
275
00:12:37,391 --> 00:12:40,859
There's an arsonist on the loose
and I'm the lead investigator.
276
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:43,728
They're letting you move up fast.
277
00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:45,197
Yeah, it's honestly pretty concerning.
278
00:12:45,199 --> 00:12:46,531
I've done zero training.
279
00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:49,667
But that won't stop me
from catching this crook.
280
00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:51,669
Nothing will.
281
00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:57,275
Though the chapter of my life
as a firefighter is ending,
282
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,411
and so soon after declaring
that nothing would stop me
283
00:12:59,413 --> 00:13:01,012
from catching the arsonist,
284
00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:03,681
I cherish the fact that
the memories and friends
285
00:13:03,683 --> 00:13:06,084
I made along the way are forever.
286
00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:09,020
Firefighters number three
and number one especially.
287
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,354
You must be relieved.
288
00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:13,491
Now that Stan's retiring, you can, too.
289
00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:14,959
Retire?
290
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:17,361
I'm sure he'll still wanna put some out.
291
00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:20,031
I'll keep the fires
going just to be safe.
292
00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:23,034
Francine, you have a problem.
293
00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:25,837
This is going to be a joke,
but please don't laugh.
294
00:13:25,839 --> 00:13:27,171
You're playing with fire.
295
00:13:27,173 --> 00:13:28,573
Hey, Stan,
296
00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:30,775
what was your favorite
fire from this week?
297
00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:32,577
Oh, man, there were so many.
298
00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:36,380
The old barn, the old go-kart park,
the match factory.
299
00:13:36,382 --> 00:13:38,650
There were so many,
300
00:13:38,652 --> 00:13:40,752
and more to come.
301
00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:45,323
Where you going, honey?
302
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:46,925
I'm about to hand off the arson case
303
00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:49,127
to the new volunteer for next week.
304
00:13:50,464 --> 00:13:52,530
Yeah-yeah-yeah, great. I gotta run.
305
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:54,099
We need more stuff for the crap.
306
00:13:56,070 --> 00:13:57,969
Francine, you dropped...
307
00:14:04,811 --> 00:14:06,410
What happened to your dress?
308
00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:07,946
Isn't it obvious?
309
00:14:07,948 --> 00:14:09,081
I'm tearing off pieces,
310
00:14:09,083 --> 00:14:11,015
shovin' 'em in a bottle of vodka,
311
00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:13,285
and using it to start fires.
312
00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:17,622
Wait, no.
313
00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:19,224
She was really saying real.
314
00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:25,263
♪ Oh, makin' those flames grow ♪
315
00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:27,532
♪ You know I gotta
start those in-fer-nos ♪
316
00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:31,069
♪ But watch me maintain,
cuz a Franny like me ♪
317
00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:32,871
♪ Is to-tally sane ♪
318
00:14:32,873 --> 00:14:35,140
♪ I'm sane in the membrane ♪
319
00:14:35,142 --> 00:14:36,808
♪ I'm sane, in my brains ♪
320
00:14:36,810 --> 00:14:40,679
Okay, that was
K-97's "Beats with no lyrics,
321
00:14:40,681 --> 00:14:43,081
so you can freestyle rap in the car"
Tuesdays.
322
00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:45,149
Up next, a Latin Trap Beat...
323
00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:48,286
Helloooo.
324
00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:50,555
You're the arsonist. How could you?
325
00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:55,160
Well, it started because I
wanted to help you, like usual.
326
00:14:55,162 --> 00:14:58,363
But then it awakened
something irresistible in me.
327
00:14:58,365 --> 00:15:01,165
So what, you have some kind
of freak fire fetish now?
328
00:15:01,167 --> 00:15:03,835
Do you dress in all black
leather bondage outfits?
329
00:15:03,837 --> 00:15:05,236
With nothing covering your privates
330
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,572
but, like, strips of tape?
331
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:08,973
Cracking...
332
00:15:08,975 --> 00:15:10,975
flaming whips and, uh...
333
00:15:12,112 --> 00:15:13,644
Sorry, I need a second.
334
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:19,050
Listen, I know "society"
doesn't like "serial arsonists."
335
00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:22,721
So once I complete my masterpiece,
336
00:15:22,723 --> 00:15:24,655
where it all began,
337
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:26,257
I'll be done.
338
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,527
But more likely I'll do it forever
'cause I love it.
339
00:15:28,529 --> 00:15:31,262
Turn back now, or I'm turning you in.
340
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:34,533
Ha! You're funnier than Ray Romano.
341
00:15:34,535 --> 00:15:36,468
You don't even know where I'll be.
342
00:15:38,004 --> 00:15:41,139
Wait. "Where it all began"?
343
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:43,274
Oh, my God. It must be...
344
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:44,809
Who are you talkin' to, Stan?
345
00:15:44,811 --> 00:15:45,944
Was it the arsonist?
346
00:15:45,946 --> 00:15:47,746
- How'd she get your number?
- Um...
347
00:15:47,748 --> 00:15:50,081
Stan, if you know something...
348
00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:51,149
Uhhhh...
349
00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:53,084
Spit it out, numb nuts.
350
00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:54,219
We have to hurry.
351
00:15:54,221 --> 00:15:55,686
She's gonna burn down the firehouse.
352
00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:57,488
- The firehouse?!
- Hey!
353
00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:59,624
Thanks for the invite
to your little cookout.
354
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:03,762
Real cool to see that going
on right outside my window!
355
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:10,501
Anyway, I will now shock and dazzle you
356
00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:13,171
with a grand Knife Throwing finale.
357
00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:16,174
First, I will need a volunteer.
358
00:16:16,176 --> 00:16:18,243
Yes, you in the back.
359
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:21,379
Oh, hey, Roger.
360
00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:23,514
Want to see this cute baby owl video?
361
00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:26,317
Hey, let go of my hand. Hey!
362
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:27,652
Roger, stop it.
363
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,588
Let go! This isn't funny.
364
00:16:29,590 --> 00:16:30,855
I'm not wearing that.
365
00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:33,592
Ow! Roger, please... Ow!
366
00:16:33,594 --> 00:16:35,193
What are you doing?!
367
00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:37,996
Roger. Seriously. Stop.
368
00:16:38,999 --> 00:16:40,599
I'm begging you!
369
00:16:40,601 --> 00:16:44,202
I'm just a child!
370
00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:45,604
Nooooooooooooo!
371
00:16:46,676 --> 00:16:50,341
Now, my Grand Finale... part one.
372
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,343
Stop this!
373
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,413
Denise, you need to get here right now.
374
00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:58,950
Aah! Aah!
375
00:16:58,952 --> 00:17:00,018
Aah! Aah!
376
00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:01,686
Aah! Aah!
377
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:03,421
Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!
378
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:06,958
Aah!
379
00:17:13,634 --> 00:17:15,467
I'm... alive.
380
00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:23,374
The Artful Wound.
381
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:25,043
The Mark of the Master.
382
00:17:27,648 --> 00:17:28,980
Thank you, thank you.
383
00:17:28,982 --> 00:17:31,916
- Now, the true Finale.
- Wait, what?
384
00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:35,320
See, my act was always about
holding a mirror up to you,
385
00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:37,922
the audience, and your sordid cravings.
386
00:17:37,924 --> 00:17:39,057
Look under your seats.
387
00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:40,459
Some of you will find a knife.
388
00:17:40,461 --> 00:17:43,862
I invite you now to face
your darkest desire,
389
00:17:43,864 --> 00:17:45,196
if you dare.
390
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:46,397
By throwing...
391
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:47,432
a knife...
392
00:17:47,434 --> 00:17:48,933
at me. Ow. Ow!
393
00:17:48,935 --> 00:17:50,335
Ow. Uhp. Ow.
394
00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:52,070
Wow, that's a lotta knives hitting me.
395
00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:55,606
Don't remember putting this many
under... the... seats.
396
00:17:55,608 --> 00:18:00,679
Uhp, okay, some of you clearly
brought knives from home.
397
00:18:02,149 --> 00:18:04,949
Oh, I can't wait to bust this sicko.
398
00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:07,018
- She's a monster!
- An animal!
399
00:18:07,020 --> 00:18:08,219
She's human!
400
00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:09,287
She's hurting.
401
00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:10,889
And I love her.
402
00:18:12,025 --> 00:18:15,026
I wanna spray her with water so friggin'
bad!
403
00:18:15,028 --> 00:18:16,160
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
404
00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:26,838
No fire. What's goin' on?
405
00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:28,106
Borrowing this.
406
00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:31,109
Guys...
407
00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:33,512
if he doesn't bring that back...
408
00:18:33,514 --> 00:18:35,814
we'll have to close the fire station.
409
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:54,199
This feels good.
410
00:18:54,201 --> 00:18:56,134
But not the most good.
411
00:18:56,136 --> 00:18:58,537
I may have to burn a person next.
412
00:18:58,539 --> 00:19:00,739
- Francine!
- Aah!
413
00:19:00,741 --> 00:19:02,307
Well, hello to you, too.
414
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:05,810
How'd you even know I'd be here?
415
00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:09,680
You said "where it all began,"
plus the Ray Romano jab.
416
00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:11,550
That could only mean one thing...
417
00:19:11,552 --> 00:19:13,952
You were going to the
place where we got married.
418
00:19:13,954 --> 00:19:15,520
Aah! Uhh!
419
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:19,758
I booked our wedding
at my dream venue...
420
00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:22,561
Knee Slapperz Comedy Club,
but Ray Romano
421
00:19:22,563 --> 00:19:25,430
showed up five minutes
before to do a surprise set,
422
00:19:25,432 --> 00:19:26,697
and we got bumped.
423
00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:29,434
Yeah, and you had a meltdown.
424
00:19:29,436 --> 00:19:31,836
But you scrambled and found this place.
425
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:34,705
You decorated the bins,
filled them with ice...
426
00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:37,642
a family of raccoons
were the flower girls.
427
00:19:37,644 --> 00:19:38,677
Aah!
428
00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:41,512
Ta-daaa!
429
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:43,514
Whoa!
430
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,383
It's too late, Stan.
431
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:46,517
I can't stop.
432
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:47,852
Of course you can.
433
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:49,254
You only became an arsonist
434
00:19:49,256 --> 00:19:51,456
because I pushed you
toward it all these years.
435
00:19:51,458 --> 00:19:53,858
Arsonist is such an ugly term.
436
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:56,060
We prefer Friend of the Flame.
437
00:19:56,062 --> 00:19:57,396
Or fire [BLEEP]
438
00:19:57,398 --> 00:20:00,599
I need to learn how to handle
my disappointment myself,
439
00:20:00,601 --> 00:20:02,467
or at least take it out on the kids.
440
00:20:02,469 --> 00:20:04,469
You do take it out on the kids.
441
00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:06,070
I could do it more.
442
00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:08,072
Oh, Stan.
443
00:20:08,074 --> 00:20:09,674
Thank you.
444
00:20:09,676 --> 00:20:11,876
To be clear though,
this is messed up, what you're doing,
445
00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:13,612
and I think you should
see a doctor in addition
446
00:20:13,614 --> 00:20:15,546
to me being, like, more attentive.
447
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:17,148
Oh, yeah yeah yeah yeah, totes.
448
00:20:19,486 --> 00:20:21,552
How are we gonna get out of here?
449
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:24,755
Baby, all you do is sacrifice for me.
450
00:20:24,757 --> 00:20:26,891
It's time I repay the favor.
451
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:30,028
We're gonna leave exactly how
we did on our wedding day.
452
00:20:30,030 --> 00:20:34,098
Except this time,
I'm going to carry you.
453
00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:40,105
There's people in there!
454
00:20:40,107 --> 00:20:41,372
Someone help them!
455
00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:42,507
There they are!
456
00:20:42,509 --> 00:20:44,175
They're okay!
457
00:20:44,177 --> 00:20:46,577
- Ohhhh!
- Ohhhh!
458
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:47,646
He's not okay!
459
00:20:47,648 --> 00:20:49,681
He's in terrible shape!
460
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,553
He's gonna say something!
461
00:20:59,125 --> 00:21:00,625
Bye! Have a great time!
462
00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:04,579
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
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