All language subtitles for You.Me.Her.S02E04.HDTV.x264-KILLERS.ettv

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian Download
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 2 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,684 She wasn't my first girl or my second. 3 00:00:02,704 --> 00:00:04,758 Previously on "You Me Her"... 4 00:00:04,878 --> 00:00:08,295 Listen to me, do not say the "L" word to him. 5 00:00:08,335 --> 00:00:11,078 - I almost got married when I was 18. - What happened? 6 00:00:11,088 --> 00:00:12,696 He told me that he should probably go 7 00:00:12,707 --> 00:00:14,881 to this Brown University place. 8 00:00:14,897 --> 00:00:17,135 Honestly, this Lori person sounds like a real cunt. 9 00:00:17,162 --> 00:00:19,722 She he has threatened to send out a blanket e-mail 10 00:00:19,731 --> 00:00:21,344 to all of the Hamilton parents. 11 00:00:21,376 --> 00:00:23,966 We're just going to delay the announcement of your promotion 12 00:00:23,984 --> 00:00:25,558 a couple of weeks. 13 00:00:25,601 --> 00:00:29,141 I'm making a silent vow to never ever end up like you. 14 00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:31,369 Oh, dear God. I made that. 15 00:00:32,504 --> 00:00:34,527 Jack. This just got weird. 16 00:00:34,539 --> 00:00:36,022 So, whatever happened 17 00:00:36,049 --> 00:00:37,850 to that skinny, Nordic-looking chick 18 00:00:37,867 --> 00:00:40,245 you start dating immediately... after... 19 00:00:40,284 --> 00:00:42,703 After you dumped me? I married her. 20 00:00:42,823 --> 00:00:44,691 Ruby. Sure. I'll be right there. 21 00:00:44,693 --> 00:00:46,179 I was never here. 22 00:00:46,519 --> 00:00:48,250 Okay, don't leave my tab open. 23 00:00:49,342 --> 00:00:50,719 I left his tab open. 24 00:00:51,322 --> 00:00:52,433 My man. 25 00:00:52,503 --> 00:00:54,952 How would you feel about helping kids 26 00:00:54,980 --> 00:00:58,008 - get to the other side of 21? - Like a wellness center. 27 00:00:58,008 --> 00:00:59,852 She didn't seem like an ex. 28 00:01:00,198 --> 00:01:02,342 She seemed like the ex. 29 00:01:02,372 --> 00:01:04,195 It feels fragile. The three of us. 30 00:01:04,315 --> 00:01:06,602 You guys have been third-wheeling the shit out of me! 31 00:01:06,613 --> 00:01:10,276 You've decided that I'm not fluid, I'm a lesbian? 32 00:01:10,281 --> 00:01:12,574 Okay, well, fuck you for making massive life decisions 33 00:01:12,596 --> 00:01:14,332 completely on your own that affect both of us. 34 00:01:14,353 --> 00:01:16,161 Well then, fuck you both 35 00:01:16,215 --> 00:01:19,927 for chasing me down half-cocked, you matching set of dumbshits! 36 00:01:22,803 --> 00:01:24,907 Ok, what are we supposed to do about the elephant? 37 00:01:24,908 --> 00:01:26,661 You know, we may have slapped a coat of paint on it 38 00:01:26,682 --> 00:01:28,878 so it'd blend in with the walls, but I can still see it. 39 00:01:28,998 --> 00:01:31,628 You know why? 'Cause it's a big painted elephant 40 00:01:31,638 --> 00:01:33,324 standing in our fucking bedroom. 41 00:01:34,514 --> 00:01:38,058 So, this elephant in the room, what does it... 42 00:01:38,684 --> 00:01:41,624 - well, what does it represent? - Imbalance. 43 00:01:42,039 --> 00:01:44,009 It represents imbalance. I know that. 44 00:01:44,537 --> 00:01:47,381 He has this absurd notion we're third-wheeling him. 45 00:01:47,580 --> 00:01:49,238 That he's our penis bridge 46 00:01:49,258 --> 00:01:51,674 to a more traditional lesbian relationship. 47 00:01:51,696 --> 00:01:52,936 I don't know, I mean, 48 00:01:53,057 --> 00:01:55,623 imagine I had a phase in my life where I was just like... 49 00:01:55,743 --> 00:01:57,328 you know, swimming in dicks. 50 00:01:57,398 --> 00:01:59,529 That's something I would probably tell my wife about, 51 00:01:59,567 --> 00:02:01,181 okay? But not her. 52 00:02:01,515 --> 00:02:03,674 Apparently, three of her past five relationships 53 00:02:03,701 --> 00:02:04,698 have been with women. 54 00:02:04,699 --> 00:02:06,249 I didn't know about it. Might have been nice to 55 00:02:06,349 --> 00:02:07,914 - drop me a hint. - Mm-hmm. 56 00:02:07,936 --> 00:02:11,530 So, Jack has now officially proclaimed me a homosexual. 57 00:02:11,537 --> 00:02:13,801 Okay. This whole thing started 58 00:02:13,807 --> 00:02:16,574 when Ding and Dong here raced to the airport to stop me 59 00:02:16,590 --> 00:02:18,361 from going home to Colorado but just 60 00:02:18,481 --> 00:02:21,231 forgot to discuss what they'd do when they got me back. 61 00:02:21,268 --> 00:02:22,827 And don't even get me started 62 00:02:22,849 --> 00:02:25,806 - on the pumpkin spice fucking candles. - What? 63 00:02:26,087 --> 00:02:27,629 I thought you liked those. 64 00:02:27,750 --> 00:02:30,044 - What's wrong with them? - You don't like the candles or the... 65 00:02:30,046 --> 00:02:32,722 - the pumpkin spice flavor? - They're very seasonal. 66 00:02:33,256 --> 00:02:34,982 - We love them. - So... 67 00:02:35,102 --> 00:02:38,548 so would you say that perhaps the can... 68 00:02:38,549 --> 00:02:40,261 The candles are a metaphor? 69 00:02:40,262 --> 00:02:41,963 Yes, for our, uh... 70 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:45,755 our conventional 30-to-40-something suburban life? 71 00:02:45,875 --> 00:02:48,277 - Is that it? - I don't know. 72 00:02:48,397 --> 00:02:50,612 Maybe, or they may just be gross. 73 00:02:50,612 --> 00:02:52,581 'Cause honestly, once you get it into your head, 74 00:02:52,608 --> 00:02:54,383 once you make the connection, you can't stop thinking 75 00:02:54,393 --> 00:02:56,508 that they smell like human feces, so... 76 00:03:11,148 --> 00:03:14,792 _ 77 00:03:21,736 --> 00:03:24,448 Morning. 78 00:03:26,248 --> 00:03:28,172 Hey, 'sup? 79 00:03:28,199 --> 00:03:31,129 Uh, I was... I was just gonna have some cereal. 80 00:03:31,249 --> 00:03:34,501 You know just like... you know, reg cereal. Um, 81 00:03:34,523 --> 00:03:36,185 it's not a big deal. Do you want some? 82 00:03:36,305 --> 00:03:38,126 Whatever, I don't care. 83 00:03:38,246 --> 00:03:41,233 You're busy, so... bye. 84 00:03:41,934 --> 00:03:43,980 - Uh, and I'll see you later. - What, uh... 85 00:03:44,007 --> 00:03:46,447 - just see what's behind door number 1. - Whoa. 86 00:03:46,473 --> 00:03:48,929 Uh, that was a weird thing to say. 87 00:03:48,935 --> 00:03:50,656 Is that a game-show reference? 88 00:03:50,776 --> 00:03:52,942 I don't really get it 'cause I'm not 60. 89 00:03:54,813 --> 00:03:55,977 You need to stop that. 90 00:03:56,097 --> 00:03:56,953 Stop what? 91 00:03:56,992 --> 00:03:59,685 That whole, "I see you, Nina Martone" thing. I get it, 92 00:03:59,741 --> 00:04:01,216 fellow doctoral candidate. 93 00:04:01,226 --> 00:04:02,490 We can read each other's shit. 94 00:04:02,499 --> 00:04:03,910 You sure about that? 95 00:04:05,179 --> 00:04:06,172 What's my shit? 96 00:04:06,215 --> 00:04:07,777 Uh, pretending that you don't have any shit, 97 00:04:07,798 --> 00:04:10,176 - which means you're super fucked up. - Wow. 98 00:04:10,629 --> 00:04:12,144 I'm sorry to disappoint you. 99 00:04:12,161 --> 00:04:13,753 Parents are happily married. 100 00:04:13,783 --> 00:04:15,269 Great family. 101 00:04:15,596 --> 00:04:17,413 Still got to Blazers games with my Pops. 102 00:04:17,443 --> 00:04:19,797 Pops? Oh, God. 103 00:04:19,798 --> 00:04:21,837 It's even worse than I thought. It's... 104 00:04:21,854 --> 00:04:24,206 you're just... you're chronically happy, 105 00:04:24,206 --> 00:04:26,136 which means you're unacceptably dull. 106 00:04:26,158 --> 00:04:27,876 - Yeah? - Yeah, sorry. 107 00:04:27,928 --> 00:04:30,366 That didn't seem to be your diagnosis last night. 108 00:04:30,380 --> 00:04:32,041 - Mm? - Mm-hmm. 109 00:04:41,205 --> 00:04:43,885 I'm not running away to Brown University. 110 00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:47,881 Izzy tell you that? 111 00:04:50,794 --> 00:04:51,904 Um... 112 00:04:52,063 --> 00:04:53,194 Oh, my God. 113 00:04:54,100 --> 00:04:55,668 You're still hanging out with Izzy. 114 00:04:55,672 --> 00:04:58,541 You guys are still fucking. I really am rebound girl. 115 00:04:58,735 --> 00:05:00,414 No, Nina. 116 00:05:00,463 --> 00:05:01,876 No, not at all. Look, 117 00:05:01,883 --> 00:05:03,366 we ran into each other on campus. 118 00:05:03,374 --> 00:05:05,531 We had a cup of coffee so that I could download 119 00:05:05,549 --> 00:05:07,401 the Nina Martone user's manual. 120 00:05:07,435 --> 00:05:09,671 And then she threatened to wear my balls as earrings 121 00:05:09,706 --> 00:05:12,246 - if I ever hurt you. - That's even worse than fucking her. 122 00:05:13,395 --> 00:05:15,109 No, it's not. 123 00:05:16,367 --> 00:05:18,007 Okay. Hyperbolic... 124 00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:19,814 obviously not worse than fucking her, but I... 125 00:05:20,159 --> 00:05:22,475 Why would she tell you that? She's the only person in the entire world... 126 00:05:22,501 --> 00:05:25,315 Well, maybe because 127 00:05:25,828 --> 00:05:28,289 I told her I'm falling for you. 128 00:05:31,193 --> 00:05:32,345 Nina. 129 00:05:33,519 --> 00:05:34,775 I have to get to class. 130 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,733 Hey, babe! Nina! 131 00:05:39,579 --> 00:05:41,305 You're still in your jams. 132 00:05:41,478 --> 00:05:44,287 And you didn't take your purse or anything else. 133 00:05:53,748 --> 00:05:55,789 I didn't really have to get to class. 134 00:05:56,683 --> 00:05:58,720 No shit. Seriously? 135 00:05:59,377 --> 00:06:01,452 I kind of panicked there for a second. 136 00:06:01,672 --> 00:06:04,944 No shit. 137 00:06:11,025 --> 00:06:15,571 It's, uh... it's kind of like a lumberjack type of thing. 138 00:06:15,653 --> 00:06:17,996 I guess we could microwave and share it. 139 00:06:20,443 --> 00:06:21,867 I would like that. 140 00:06:30,055 --> 00:06:31,652 I feel like I'm on the outside 141 00:06:31,665 --> 00:06:34,721 of this mundane suburban ritual looking in. 142 00:06:34,950 --> 00:06:36,162 You know? 143 00:06:37,237 --> 00:06:38,903 What do you think that means? 144 00:06:39,102 --> 00:06:40,828 It means we're taking out the trash. 145 00:06:40,884 --> 00:06:42,744 Therapy has its perils. 146 00:06:42,755 --> 00:06:43,914 Hey. 147 00:06:44,142 --> 00:06:45,515 - Hey. - About time. 148 00:06:46,162 --> 00:06:47,544 - You good? - Yeah. 149 00:06:47,565 --> 00:06:48,714 Hi. 150 00:06:49,302 --> 00:06:50,841 Glad you can still walk. 151 00:06:50,914 --> 00:06:52,197 Thank you. 152 00:06:52,210 --> 00:06:53,709 So girls can't drink beer? 153 00:06:53,710 --> 00:06:55,192 Is that how it works around here? 154 00:06:55,407 --> 00:06:58,256 Yeah, we have a strict, uh, no beer for girls policy 155 00:06:58,282 --> 00:06:59,989 here in the land where time stood still. 156 00:06:59,990 --> 00:07:01,684 No cursing either. 157 00:07:01,701 --> 00:07:03,807 You sure you want to live in this backwards fucking hellhole? 158 00:07:04,221 --> 00:07:05,685 Is it second Friday already? 159 00:07:06,064 --> 00:07:07,384 Oh, it's guys' night. 160 00:07:07,739 --> 00:07:10,056 So there's a guys' night but not a girls' night. 161 00:07:10,086 --> 00:07:13,293 - Um, actually, there is... tonight. - Oh. 162 00:07:13,413 --> 00:07:15,786 Can you, uh, like, possibly dial down 163 00:07:15,813 --> 00:07:17,758 the righteous indignation to like a 9? 164 00:07:17,759 --> 00:07:20,311 Sorry. Apparently, therapy makes me salty. 165 00:07:20,604 --> 00:07:21,613 Oh, boy. 166 00:07:21,635 --> 00:07:22,876 - What? - No, you just... 167 00:07:22,925 --> 00:07:23,982 Therapy? 168 00:07:24,348 --> 00:07:26,328 Freak train's already running off the rails? 169 00:07:26,345 --> 00:07:29,021 - Really gonna miss you, Izzy. - Guys, come on. 170 00:07:29,141 --> 00:07:31,460 It's just a check-up. You know, proactive 171 00:07:31,465 --> 00:07:32,556 relationship maintenance. 172 00:07:32,593 --> 00:07:33,543 - Yeah. - Yeah. 173 00:07:33,663 --> 00:07:35,138 We'll talk about it tonight. 174 00:07:35,775 --> 00:07:37,377 Yeah, we will. 175 00:07:37,497 --> 00:07:39,260 Oh, right, yeah. That's awesome. 176 00:07:39,269 --> 00:07:40,938 And hope you like Chardonnay. 177 00:07:41,058 --> 00:07:42,174 I've actually never had it 178 00:07:42,180 --> 00:07:43,960 'cause I'm not a desperate housewife of anywhere. 179 00:07:43,976 --> 00:07:46,092 But I'm gonna invite my friend Nina 180 00:07:46,146 --> 00:07:47,688 because I live here now. 181 00:07:49,426 --> 00:07:50,899 Across the street. 182 00:07:52,091 --> 00:07:54,071 Okay. Glad that all got worked out. 183 00:07:54,092 --> 00:07:56,023 - See you in 10 minutes? - Yeah, definitely. 184 00:07:57,356 --> 00:07:59,281 - I'm sorry. - Yeah, no, totally. 185 00:07:59,298 --> 00:08:01,618 - We can just... - Em? Carm? 186 00:08:01,823 --> 00:08:03,301 Do you have a sec? 187 00:08:06,372 --> 00:08:08,917 Oh, sh... should I go sit on the curb 188 00:08:08,982 --> 00:08:11,410 - while the adults talk or... ? - No, no, you too. 189 00:08:11,577 --> 00:08:13,520 Whatever your real name is. 190 00:08:13,574 --> 00:08:15,664 Okay, make it quick 'cause I'm having some kind of allergic reaction. 191 00:08:15,686 --> 00:08:17,374 Yeah, like, uh, like your skin's crawling? 192 00:08:17,577 --> 00:08:19,900 I see you're not gonna make this easy for me. 193 00:08:20,068 --> 00:08:21,569 Well, let's see, Lori. Because of you, 194 00:08:21,586 --> 00:08:23,386 I got kicked off of the theater project 195 00:08:23,403 --> 00:08:25,255 built on my blood, sweat, and tears, 196 00:08:25,268 --> 00:08:27,352 and now I hate going to work. But, uh, 197 00:08:27,530 --> 00:08:28,561 yeah, sure. 198 00:08:29,118 --> 00:08:30,667 Let's make this easy for you. 199 00:08:30,732 --> 00:08:33,603 I wanted to apologize. 200 00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:40,202 I was hoping that we could start over and be friends? 201 00:08:41,790 --> 00:08:43,767 Like, maybe I could come over for whatever it is 202 00:08:43,802 --> 00:08:45,939 - you guys do every second Friday. - Yeah, no. 203 00:08:46,962 --> 00:08:49,624 Yeah, we're at capacity. Like, maximum occupancy. 204 00:08:49,646 --> 00:08:51,831 Yeah, it's like a fire safety thing. 205 00:08:51,951 --> 00:08:52,970 Sorry. 206 00:08:53,993 --> 00:08:56,142 I had an epiphany. I'm an asshole. 207 00:08:56,579 --> 00:08:58,011 Always last to know. 208 00:08:58,364 --> 00:09:00,748 My mother was an asshole, her mother before her, 209 00:09:00,761 --> 00:09:03,893 and now my daughter is becoming an asshole. 210 00:09:03,906 --> 00:09:04,826 Ava? 211 00:09:04,946 --> 00:09:06,901 Come on. She came out of the box that way. 212 00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:07,907 So to speak. 213 00:09:08,330 --> 00:09:10,937 No, she was my angel. 214 00:09:12,206 --> 00:09:16,791 I'm hoping to break the asshole cycle before it's too late. 215 00:09:22,911 --> 00:09:24,141 Sure. 216 00:09:24,534 --> 00:09:25,514 Really? 217 00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:32,267 See ya later. 218 00:09:42,241 --> 00:09:44,554 - Oh, God, where is it? - What? 219 00:09:44,736 --> 00:09:47,040 The pumpkin spice candle. Ugh. 220 00:09:47,049 --> 00:09:48,479 I only lit one of them. 221 00:09:48,515 --> 00:09:50,850 Wait... them? Why? 222 00:09:50,868 --> 00:09:52,689 - What's this? - Hey. 223 00:09:53,025 --> 00:09:55,543 A number in the middle of a piece of paper? 224 00:09:57,895 --> 00:10:00,294 - It's a salary. - Like every year? 225 00:10:00,301 --> 00:10:02,122 Yeah, every year. 226 00:10:02,365 --> 00:10:03,895 Wow. 227 00:10:03,922 --> 00:10:06,452 Private jet. Five-star hotel. 228 00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:08,995 - Wait, so this is about a job? - Mm-hmm. 229 00:10:09,028 --> 00:10:10,741 - Em. - Yeah. 230 00:10:12,049 --> 00:10:15,400 Yeah, coolest firm in Seattle. Their, um... 231 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:18,800 their senior partner is 60-something, so... 232 00:10:19,002 --> 00:10:23,215 - so they have been insinuating... - They've been insinuating... wait 233 00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:25,110 Sorry. Um, 234 00:10:25,144 --> 00:10:27,343 how long has this been going on? 235 00:10:27,345 --> 00:10:29,231 I mean, it's just a discussion. It's not... 236 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,119 it's not like I'm actually gonna go. 237 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:33,369 You don't... you don't take the company jet 238 00:10:33,380 --> 00:10:35,134 and stay in a hotel like this 239 00:10:35,597 --> 00:10:38,305 if you're gonna say no. You know? 240 00:10:40,215 --> 00:10:43,599 Massive "fuck you" that gets around really fast, so... 241 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:47,800 So you're not even considering it like at all? 242 00:10:48,195 --> 00:10:50,763 Even with your promotion on hold? 243 00:10:53,606 --> 00:10:54,858 Okay. 244 00:10:57,270 --> 00:11:00,033 It's really awesome. 245 00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:04,930 So, me, you, 246 00:11:04,989 --> 00:11:07,616 Carmen, Lori, Nina, 247 00:11:07,649 --> 00:11:09,786 shit ton of Chardonnay... this could get weird. 248 00:11:09,818 --> 00:11:11,835 I recommend you curb your enthusiasm. 249 00:11:11,836 --> 00:11:14,194 Hmm. 250 00:11:18,014 --> 00:11:19,261 What's wrong? 251 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,447 Clomid time. 252 00:11:22,331 --> 00:11:24,812 - Whoa, you're still doing all that? - Yep. 253 00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:27,199 And I got to lay off the booze and the weed. 254 00:11:27,548 --> 00:11:31,133 - You must really want a kid. - I must. 255 00:11:34,067 --> 00:11:35,616 What about you? 256 00:11:35,827 --> 00:11:39,192 Or are you too young to even 257 00:11:39,664 --> 00:11:41,397 think about that yet? 258 00:11:41,680 --> 00:11:43,069 Uh... 259 00:11:44,020 --> 00:11:48,525 Honestly, I've... I've dreamt about it since I can remember. 260 00:11:48,844 --> 00:11:51,391 Only child of a broken family goes 261 00:11:51,404 --> 00:11:54,338 real hard in one of two directions, so... 262 00:11:59,294 --> 00:12:01,136 Um... 263 00:12:01,607 --> 00:12:04,932 - When you and Jack get pregnant... - If. 264 00:12:05,195 --> 00:12:09,012 - lf we get pregnant. - Okay, if you get pregnant, 265 00:12:10,422 --> 00:12:12,357 what does that make me? 266 00:12:19,869 --> 00:12:21,569 How is that misogynistic? 267 00:12:21,623 --> 00:12:22,639 I mean, it sounds like a compliment, 268 00:12:22,663 --> 00:12:24,369 but it's really just like saying "fairer sex." 269 00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:27,593 Exactly, it's... it's like a thinly veiled prescription. 270 00:12:28,004 --> 00:12:29,981 You stay pretty and keep your shit together 271 00:12:29,985 --> 00:12:31,008 so I don't have to. 272 00:12:31,128 --> 00:12:32,955 - Yeah, exactly. - Right? 273 00:12:33,243 --> 00:12:34,374 Does it hurt? 274 00:12:34,742 --> 00:12:37,171 - Don't answer. Don't say it. Don't answer. - Does what hurt? 275 00:12:37,227 --> 00:12:39,942 You know, you two getting your heads so far up each other's asses. 276 00:12:39,981 --> 00:12:42,143 - Oh, come on. - Jack! 277 00:12:42,217 --> 00:12:44,290 - What are you even talking about? - No, I'm telling you. 278 00:12:44,291 --> 00:12:46,294 - Hi. - Hey. 279 00:12:46,976 --> 00:12:50,273 This is, um... 280 00:12:50,393 --> 00:12:51,832 - Ashton. - Ashton. 281 00:12:52,178 --> 00:12:55,363 - What's up? - My date from Tinder... 282 00:12:55,638 --> 00:12:57,801 in a land where he's still my age. 283 00:12:57,921 --> 00:12:59,279 Probably should update. 284 00:12:59,322 --> 00:13:01,151 Haven't changed much, though. 285 00:13:02,926 --> 00:13:05,041 - That's a nice piece, man. - Thanks. 20K. 286 00:13:05,068 --> 00:13:07,297 - But who checks price tags? - I'll tell you who, it's poor people. 287 00:13:07,323 --> 00:13:09,546 Gotta get the newest one, out next year. 288 00:13:10,117 --> 00:13:13,414 Got to pace it up, babe. Reservation's five minutes ago. 289 00:13:13,435 --> 00:13:14,639 Boys. 290 00:13:14,908 --> 00:13:16,182 Okay. 291 00:13:16,241 --> 00:13:17,983 You still want the wellness thing to happen, 292 00:13:18,103 --> 00:13:20,529 you will call me in five minutes and get me out. 293 00:13:24,451 --> 00:13:27,084 Ashton. Hmm. 294 00:13:27,646 --> 00:13:29,269 What are these looks for? Don't give me that look. 295 00:13:29,274 --> 00:13:30,640 She's just an old friend. 296 00:13:30,849 --> 00:13:32,522 Oh, so you're saying that wasn't Ruby, 297 00:13:32,527 --> 00:13:34,476 the chick who dumped you right before you met Emma? 298 00:13:34,503 --> 00:13:36,569 Holy shit. Are you bringing that one in, too? 299 00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:38,247 She interviewed me for the professor position. 300 00:13:38,306 --> 00:13:39,883 - That's all. - Oh, no shit. 301 00:13:40,003 --> 00:13:41,154 - Yeah. - Okay. 302 00:13:41,181 --> 00:13:43,599 Now we're thinking about starting a wellness center at Griffin. 303 00:13:43,719 --> 00:13:45,719 That's perfect for you. It's super gay. 304 00:13:45,740 --> 00:13:47,434 So does your current harem know about this? 305 00:13:47,445 --> 00:13:48,902 - Or is it like a secret? - Okay, enough. 306 00:13:48,924 --> 00:13:50,898 - I'm just asking. - You know what? This is... 307 00:13:51,093 --> 00:13:53,418 It's been one hour, and you guys have already pissed me off, okay? 308 00:13:53,452 --> 00:13:54,623 - What? - New record. 309 00:13:54,867 --> 00:13:57,630 - Good guys' night. - Don't lump me in with him. 310 00:13:57,750 --> 00:13:59,478 Jacky! 311 00:13:59,510 --> 00:14:01,941 And that's how it works. Boom... he's gone like a little bitch. 312 00:14:01,967 --> 00:14:03,762 You're an incredibly wise man, you know that? 313 00:14:03,762 --> 00:14:06,037 - I know. Thanks, Dave. - I was being sarcastic. 314 00:14:06,603 --> 00:14:08,972 Yeah, you better run. David! 315 00:14:11,134 --> 00:14:12,352 I love my Pops. 316 00:14:12,753 --> 00:14:14,960 I see more of him now than I did as a kid, though. 317 00:14:15,503 --> 00:14:16,720 He was always at work. 318 00:14:17,286 --> 00:14:18,953 He sold, uh... 319 00:14:19,687 --> 00:14:21,922 Shit. But, uh... 320 00:14:22,146 --> 00:14:23,484 Whatever... he sold something. 321 00:14:23,984 --> 00:14:25,305 We'll say insurance. 322 00:14:25,833 --> 00:14:27,162 My point is, is that 323 00:14:27,170 --> 00:14:29,527 I was raised in a household of women... 324 00:14:29,540 --> 00:14:30,904 mom and two big sisters... 325 00:14:30,921 --> 00:14:32,635 so I'm very comfortable on this side of the fence. 326 00:14:32,644 --> 00:14:33,779 - It's still weird, right? - Mm-hmm. 327 00:14:33,809 --> 00:14:35,752 Don't worry... his penis isn't gonna puncture 328 00:14:35,765 --> 00:14:37,289 - you're hallowed chick night. - All that said, 329 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:38,955 I will not be drinking Chardo-fuckin'-nay 330 00:14:39,020 --> 00:14:40,064 Won't do it. 331 00:14:40,357 --> 00:14:41,561 Gives a man breasts. 332 00:14:42,196 --> 00:14:43,732 I don't even like Chardonnay. 333 00:14:43,853 --> 00:14:45,821 And yet when I gather with two or more women, 334 00:14:45,830 --> 00:14:47,443 I reflexively drink it. 335 00:14:47,643 --> 00:14:50,196 I'm starting to think we've been mass media brain-fucked. 336 00:14:50,581 --> 00:14:51,590 Hey. 337 00:14:52,630 --> 00:14:53,808 What are you making? 338 00:14:54,312 --> 00:14:55,681 Old fashioned... 339 00:14:55,801 --> 00:14:57,010 classic cocktail. 340 00:14:57,094 --> 00:14:58,310 Mind making another? 341 00:14:58,430 --> 00:14:59,531 I would... I would be honored. 342 00:14:59,651 --> 00:15:00,761 You know what? Make that two. 343 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:02,585 The revolution will not be televised. 344 00:15:02,621 --> 00:15:04,494 No more Chardonnay... say it with me, people. 345 00:15:04,563 --> 00:15:05,879 That's not gonna happen. 346 00:15:06,665 --> 00:15:09,617 Tastes like flat Fresca, but I strangely don't hate it. 347 00:15:09,786 --> 00:15:11,443 I have Molly in the car. 348 00:15:11,495 --> 00:15:13,808 - Mm. - Your dog's in the car? 349 00:15:13,928 --> 00:15:16,191 - Who's Molly? - Bring her in. We love dogs. 350 00:15:17,348 --> 00:15:19,178 - No. Mnh-mnh. - Oh. 351 00:15:19,298 --> 00:15:21,085 - Oh, oh. - Yeah. 352 00:15:21,094 --> 00:15:22,164 - Drugs. - Drugs. 353 00:15:22,181 --> 00:15:23,598 - Mm-hmm. - We know lots of dogs 354 00:15:23,598 --> 00:15:25,194 are called Molly, so... 355 00:15:25,952 --> 00:15:27,451 You know, I... I think I'm gonna probably 356 00:15:27,464 --> 00:15:29,329 stay on this side of my line, but yeah. 357 00:15:29,350 --> 00:15:31,197 And I'll be going home to two small children 358 00:15:31,223 --> 00:15:33,581 and one presumably wasted husband, so... 359 00:15:33,630 --> 00:15:35,547 But, uh, we're all adults here, 360 00:15:35,572 --> 00:15:36,933 so, yeah, by, uh... 361 00:15:37,342 --> 00:15:39,276 by all means indulge. 362 00:15:39,396 --> 00:15:40,916 - I'm in. - Let's roll. 363 00:15:41,529 --> 00:15:44,565 And the light beer is you, I assume. 364 00:15:44,759 --> 00:15:46,024 Here he is. 365 00:15:46,394 --> 00:15:48,704 Hey, uh, is my tab still open from last time? 366 00:15:48,756 --> 00:15:49,654 Yeah. Yeah. 367 00:15:49,688 --> 00:15:51,337 Do you want me to just put these on that? 368 00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:53,796 - Might as well. - Cheers. 369 00:15:53,878 --> 00:15:55,879 Listen, uh, while I have you here, 370 00:15:55,999 --> 00:15:58,834 I used your riff the other day... the one you said to 371 00:15:58,954 --> 00:16:01,566 what's-his-pickle about what's-her-nuts. 372 00:16:01,894 --> 00:16:03,211 And it kind of came across 373 00:16:03,229 --> 00:16:05,753 as a little insensitive to the autism community. 374 00:16:05,767 --> 00:16:07,470 Yeah, that's not meant for them. 375 00:16:07,590 --> 00:16:10,224 No, I... I didn't use it on an autistic person. 376 00:16:10,250 --> 00:16:12,995 But I was wondering if you could kind of clarify how I use it. 377 00:16:13,115 --> 00:16:14,816 Actually, no, I'm sorry. 378 00:16:14,852 --> 00:16:16,871 - Just a flat no, huh? - Yeah, if you could just maybe 379 00:16:16,887 --> 00:16:18,503 - leave my tab open again, that'd be great. - Sure. 380 00:16:18,529 --> 00:16:20,325 - Enjoy your flat beer. - Yeah. Thanks. 381 00:16:22,076 --> 00:16:23,073 Interesting. 382 00:16:23,270 --> 00:16:24,618 What the hell was that about? 383 00:16:24,738 --> 00:16:27,663 - You, Dr. Trakarsky. - Hey, you. 384 00:16:27,700 --> 00:16:30,409 My liberator, you are a fucking genius. 385 00:16:30,529 --> 00:16:32,200 Did you actually tell him that you're a surgeon 386 00:16:32,249 --> 00:16:34,357 that specializes in anal retractions? Because 387 00:16:34,358 --> 00:16:35,616 that was technically my idea. 388 00:16:35,637 --> 00:16:37,111 I gave him that to give to you. 389 00:16:37,186 --> 00:16:39,182 So I'm... I'm the genius. I'm just saying. 390 00:16:39,203 --> 00:16:40,637 It was my idea, as well. 391 00:16:40,638 --> 00:16:43,001 Dislodging a TV remote as we speak. 392 00:16:43,121 --> 00:16:44,997 You know, a domestic dispute, so... 393 00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:47,387 - Ohh. - Hey, how you doing? 394 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,491 Remember me? Does this look familiar? 395 00:16:50,035 --> 00:16:51,726 Jack's big brother. How are you? 396 00:16:51,727 --> 00:16:54,443 Uh... a little. 397 00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:56,629 - Yeah. You were big. - Yeah. 398 00:16:56,672 --> 00:16:59,204 - And loud. - Yeah, he's so different now. 399 00:17:00,384 --> 00:17:01,713 Thank you. 400 00:17:01,833 --> 00:17:05,394 So, I quit smoking like five years, six months, and two days ago, 401 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:07,358 but I have been traumatized. 402 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:11,842 So I bought a pack, and I desperately need one. 403 00:17:12,077 --> 00:17:14,181 Chat about the wellness center? 404 00:17:14,513 --> 00:17:15,618 - Sure. - Yeah? 405 00:17:15,642 --> 00:17:18,675 Sure, yeah. I'm also traumatized by the company I keep, 406 00:17:18,724 --> 00:17:19,927 - as you can tell. - Oh. 407 00:17:19,959 --> 00:17:21,675 More specifically, he's traumatized by 408 00:17:21,869 --> 00:17:24,897 - me trying to turn him into a man. - Bam, yeah. 409 00:17:25,295 --> 00:17:26,995 - Now I remember you. - Yes. 410 00:17:27,178 --> 00:17:29,883 Now she remembers you. 411 00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:32,128 Do you have any idea 412 00:17:32,169 --> 00:17:35,282 what it's like to be the one at the sleepover who gets picked up early 413 00:17:35,284 --> 00:17:38,124 because "nothing good happens after 10:00"? 414 00:17:38,157 --> 00:17:41,596 Can you even fathom how something like that... 415 00:17:41,772 --> 00:17:43,404 it defines you? 416 00:17:43,524 --> 00:17:46,485 Especially when everyone else's mom already hates your mom 417 00:17:46,512 --> 00:17:49,803 because she's a horrible, superior bitch. 418 00:17:49,845 --> 00:17:53,633 How... how that scorn and the ridicule... it just 419 00:17:53,843 --> 00:17:55,907 makes you spiteful. 420 00:17:56,027 --> 00:17:59,474 This is all exploding in my head like a giant cycle of 421 00:17:59,514 --> 00:18:03,256 assholishness that is my responsibility to break 422 00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:05,873 for the sake of my daughter. 423 00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:09,528 I mean, does that make sense? 424 00:18:09,542 --> 00:18:12,347 - I feel like I was rambling. Was I rambling? - Wow. 425 00:18:12,670 --> 00:18:14,464 That was just... 426 00:18:15,327 --> 00:18:16,743 Shit, man. 427 00:18:16,863 --> 00:18:18,550 I'm sorry, but fuckin' A. 428 00:18:18,577 --> 00:18:20,769 That was so damn beautiful. 429 00:18:20,890 --> 00:18:22,583 Dial it back, Moonbeam. 430 00:18:22,703 --> 00:18:27,532 So deep and real and raw. 431 00:18:27,978 --> 00:18:29,489 Yeah. 432 00:18:29,786 --> 00:18:30,892 Hmm. 433 00:18:30,952 --> 00:18:34,162 It seems like you met Molly, 434 00:18:34,662 --> 00:18:37,211 but you didn't. Right? 435 00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:40,481 Well, thank you. Uh, 436 00:18:40,482 --> 00:18:43,334 but I don't know... are you... 437 00:18:43,718 --> 00:18:45,945 Oh. Molly's amazing. 438 00:18:45,978 --> 00:18:49,504 You would fucking love Molly. She would... 439 00:18:49,531 --> 00:18:51,244 she would complete you. 440 00:18:51,437 --> 00:18:54,946 So, is Molly a... a motivational speaker 441 00:18:54,986 --> 00:18:56,436 - or cult leader? - Yes. 442 00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:59,505 Uh, yes, that's exactly who she is. Um, Molly... 443 00:19:00,138 --> 00:19:03,112 - Morgenstern. - Very controversial. 444 00:19:03,232 --> 00:19:05,000 - Emma. - Mm-hmm? 445 00:19:05,176 --> 00:19:06,808 Your skin isn't like butter. 446 00:19:08,096 --> 00:19:09,740 It is butter. 447 00:19:09,860 --> 00:19:11,609 - It... it's not butter. - Come here. 448 00:19:11,612 --> 00:19:15,123 No, no. Okay. Okay, enough with the heavy petting. Yeah? 449 00:19:16,115 --> 00:19:17,727 You stay over there for a while. 450 00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:19,851 Chardonnay. This shit is a revelation. 451 00:19:21,820 --> 00:19:23,742 So beautifully complex. 452 00:19:23,862 --> 00:19:25,496 I feel ashamed 453 00:19:25,570 --> 00:19:28,700 about any prejudice that I brought to this experience. 454 00:19:29,617 --> 00:19:31,364 Mm. Mm-hmm. 455 00:19:31,552 --> 00:19:33,980 - It is good. - It's good. 456 00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:36,671 Not sure I'm getting quite as much out of it as you, but... 457 00:19:37,602 --> 00:19:38,856 Lori. 458 00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:41,785 Lori. You're forgiven. 459 00:19:43,451 --> 00:19:45,312 And you are loved. 460 00:19:46,424 --> 00:19:50,208 None of us will ever make you leave the sleepover. 461 00:19:50,943 --> 00:19:52,332 Ever. 462 00:19:53,534 --> 00:19:56,615 Oh, that was so good, Iz. So poignant. 463 00:19:56,735 --> 00:19:58,072 Poignant. 464 00:19:58,105 --> 00:20:00,473 - Poignant. - Oh, hey, Lori. 465 00:20:00,486 --> 00:20:02,375 - My babysitter just texted. - And... 466 00:20:02,436 --> 00:20:03,986 everyone forgives you, so... 467 00:20:03,993 --> 00:20:05,744 Except for me. I'm gonna need a little more convincing, 468 00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:06,980 so let's finish up at my house, okay? 469 00:20:07,012 --> 00:20:09,278 Wha... no, no. They're being so nice. 470 00:20:09,332 --> 00:20:11,452 - I love you, Lori. - I love you. 471 00:20:11,694 --> 00:20:13,205 Okay, that's great. Here we go. 472 00:20:13,864 --> 00:20:16,019 - Bring your drink. - Oh. Okay. 473 00:20:16,412 --> 00:20:17,893 You are loved! 474 00:20:18,138 --> 00:20:19,201 - Yeah. - So loved. 475 00:20:19,216 --> 00:20:20,464 Thank... thank you for coming. 476 00:20:20,518 --> 00:20:23,372 - You are loved. - Let me just put my shoes on. 477 00:20:23,415 --> 00:20:25,282 Thanks for coming. 478 00:20:25,293 --> 00:20:26,560 - All right. - Take my glass? 479 00:20:26,587 --> 00:20:28,222 It's overwhelming. 480 00:20:28,276 --> 00:20:31,907 - Lori Matherfield, can you believe it? - Yeah. 481 00:20:43,666 --> 00:20:48,221 I... I was conducting a very important experiment. 482 00:20:48,620 --> 00:20:50,448 Trying to figure out the level of drunk 483 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,111 that it would take to make a guy like that fuckable. 484 00:20:53,151 --> 00:20:55,060 Okay, well, I only met him briefly, 485 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:56,914 but I would have to go with, uh, 486 00:20:56,939 --> 00:21:00,117 thoroughly blacked out maybe. 487 00:21:02,191 --> 00:21:05,175 I think my vagina would scream until I woke up. 488 00:21:05,295 --> 00:21:07,282 Yeah. 489 00:21:07,594 --> 00:21:10,099 All right, I just said "fuckable" and "vagina" 490 00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:12,139 before we finished a cigarette. 491 00:21:14,170 --> 00:21:16,260 Okay, here we go. Um, 492 00:21:16,565 --> 00:21:18,663 I think we have a really good shot 493 00:21:18,689 --> 00:21:21,227 at this wellness center idea, Dr. Trakarsky. 494 00:21:21,347 --> 00:21:23,553 - Yeah. Good. - Boom... 495 00:21:23,587 --> 00:21:26,639 abruptly and awkwardly back to business. 496 00:21:32,961 --> 00:21:35,566 I think your ex is an asshole. 497 00:21:38,264 --> 00:21:41,418 - And an idiot. - That he is. 498 00:21:41,614 --> 00:21:43,178 Thank you. 499 00:21:50,523 --> 00:21:53,201 What? What are you thinking? 500 00:21:55,947 --> 00:21:57,964 Alternate realities. 501 00:21:59,243 --> 00:22:01,825 Yeah. 502 00:22:04,563 --> 00:22:07,584 Did you know that 503 00:22:07,855 --> 00:22:10,775 there are molecular tests that suggest that there's, like, 504 00:22:10,782 --> 00:22:14,126 thousands of realities that are happening at once? 505 00:22:14,246 --> 00:22:17,533 - Right. Cat in the box. - That's right. 506 00:22:17,549 --> 00:22:18,763 - Right? - Yeah. 507 00:22:18,806 --> 00:22:20,511 You open the lid, and you're discovering 508 00:22:20,549 --> 00:22:22,324 only one of the many outcomes. 509 00:22:23,198 --> 00:22:25,356 Cat's dead, cat's alive. 510 00:22:25,874 --> 00:22:27,072 Cat has kittens. 511 00:22:27,076 --> 00:22:29,387 Ruby didn't break up with Jack. 512 00:22:33,207 --> 00:22:35,354 Ruby didn't break up with Jack. 513 00:22:43,550 --> 00:22:45,880 It's all so fucking complicated now, though... Roo. 514 00:22:46,350 --> 00:22:48,648 You have no idea. 515 00:22:49,792 --> 00:22:53,476 Roo... I haven't heard that in a long time. I like it. 516 00:22:53,791 --> 00:22:56,374 It's nice. 517 00:23:10,517 --> 00:23:12,891 Maybe it's me. 518 00:23:13,066 --> 00:23:15,211 Maybe I'm the one making it complicated. 519 00:23:15,331 --> 00:23:17,044 Maybe it's not them. 520 00:23:17,982 --> 00:23:19,582 Them? 521 00:23:21,307 --> 00:23:23,262 It's a long story. 522 00:23:28,549 --> 00:23:30,566 I need to go home. 523 00:23:34,564 --> 00:23:37,457 Wait, do it again. 524 00:23:42,898 --> 00:23:45,152 It feels so good. 525 00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:50,371 Ho, ho, ho. 526 00:23:58,396 --> 00:24:00,580 It's like you put on mittens. 527 00:24:01,932 --> 00:24:04,655 - So, this is happening. - Hey, you. 528 00:24:04,689 --> 00:24:06,931 Come in. The water's warm. 529 00:24:07,051 --> 00:24:10,633 - It's so warm. - Izzy, um... yeah, yeah... Izzy took Molly. I... 530 00:24:10,860 --> 00:24:12,665 and I tried to... 531 00:24:12,785 --> 00:24:14,334 Great, it's awesome. So now 532 00:24:14,342 --> 00:24:16,855 - aphrodisiacs are part of chicks' night? - That's right. 533 00:24:16,897 --> 00:24:19,036 No more Chardonnay. 534 00:24:19,037 --> 00:24:21,414 - No more Char... No one? - Jack. 535 00:24:21,442 --> 00:24:22,850 Come on. 536 00:24:28,549 --> 00:24:30,310 Is he mad? 537 00:24:32,665 --> 00:24:34,302 Are you mad? 538 00:24:36,486 --> 00:24:38,745 - How is that fair? - Just not now. 539 00:24:38,806 --> 00:24:41,126 - What? Not now? - Just not right now. 540 00:24:41,140 --> 00:24:42,447 Jack, let us... 541 00:24:42,488 --> 00:24:44,963 let us just dry off, and then we can talk about this. 542 00:24:46,605 --> 00:24:48,979 Listen to me. Like, a minute before 543 00:24:49,027 --> 00:24:51,380 you came in, I just said to her... didn't I? I just said... 544 00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:54,517 I just finished telling someone that I was the complication, 545 00:24:55,164 --> 00:24:56,722 that I was to blame. 546 00:24:57,592 --> 00:24:59,912 Someone? What someone? 547 00:25:00,795 --> 00:25:02,266 Ruby. 548 00:25:04,942 --> 00:25:06,682 Fuck this. 549 00:25:10,797 --> 00:25:12,280 Jack! 550 00:25:17,189 --> 00:25:18,909 Fuck! 551 00:25:19,853 --> 00:25:21,983 Okay, we didn't... we didn't do anything wrong. 552 00:25:21,997 --> 00:25:23,835 He's never left like that before. 553 00:25:24,209 --> 00:25:26,774 Just go to your side of the tub. 554 00:26:15,671 --> 00:26:20,641 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 555 00:26:27,554 --> 00:26:29,880 The adventure begins. 556 00:26:29,895 --> 00:26:31,891 Want even more You Me Her? 557 00:26:31,918 --> 00:26:33,441 We're together! 558 00:26:33,482 --> 00:26:36,537 Go online to continue the conversation. 559 00:26:41,777 --> 00:26:44,164 What were you doing while you were hugging the toilet and 560 00:26:44,178 --> 00:26:46,688 - staring at your phone. - I was checking the calendar. 561 00:26:46,741 --> 00:26:49,365 - Seriously? - So does this mean you're late? 562 00:26:49,377 --> 00:26:50,935 Why are you hugging me? 563 00:26:51,502 --> 00:26:54,146 Jack left and you said he never leaves. 564 00:26:54,180 --> 00:26:56,965 - He wants a family. - So does Izzy as it turns out. 565 00:26:56,992 --> 00:26:58,354 And you? 566 00:26:59,778 --> 00:27:01,545 - Hey. - Hi. 38553

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.